Metro Herald, Monday, March 24, 2014 by Metro Herald

Monday, March 24, 2014

wintour’s coMing

Has feared fashion queen Anna lost it?

Metro sexual

Facebook needs a ‘drunk mode’

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Dear Dolly »p17

charlie in Vatican johnnies SMUGGLERS’ plans to sneak cocaine into the Vatican have come in for some ribbing after a haul of the drug was found hidden inside condoms. German customs officials were no doubt snorting with laughter when they intercepted the shipment destined for the Vatican. Officers at Leipzig airport in Germany found 340 grammes of the drug packed into 14 condoms inside a shipment of cushions from South America. The package was simply addressed to the Vatican postal office, so any of the Catholic mini-state’s 800 residents could have picked it up after it arrived.

DON’T BEE MEAN: A British shorthair wears a woolly hat at a cat exhibition in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan, yesterday

by AlAn cAulfield

The Bild Am Sonntag newspaper reported that a subsequent sting operation arranged with Vatican police failed to nab the intended recipient. No one claimed the package, indicating that he or she was tipped off about the plan. The drugs would have a street value of tens of thousands of euro. Va t i c a n spokesman the Reverend Federico Lombardi confirmed that the Vatican police had cooperated with German police in an attempt to identify the traffickers and that the investigation was still open.

Any of the Vatican’s 800 residents could have picked it up

PICTURE: EPA

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Keep Dublin tidy – Please recycle this Metro Herald when you are finished with it

METRO HERALD Monday, March 24, 2014

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€625,000

The amount raised for the Irish Cancer Society on the back of the no make-up selfie Facebook charity fundraising craze Ireland’s rate of newsprint recycling is now up to 79%. Keep reading, keep recycling – thank you.

Next time you take the train take the tube.

Today is... World Tuberculosis Day

The day marked by the World Health Organisation to raise awareness of the disease. Of the nine million people who contract TB every year, three million cases go undetected, usually in poorer countries and among the most vulnerable in society

From the archives (2009):

Chinese takeaway for kung fu man A chopstick lodged in a kung fu master’s stomach during a training stunt 20 years ago has been removed. Wing Ma swallowed the 21cm-long stick while trying to condition his body to take pain. ‘I forgot about it until I started to get pains,’ he said.

Today’s birthdays

Curtis Hanson, film director, 69; Alan Sugar, businessman, 67; Tommy Hilfiger, designer, 63; Lara Flynn Boyle, actress, 44; Alyson Hannigan (pictured), actress, 40.

CLOCkWORD The solutions from 1 to 12 are all sixletter words ending with the letter E in the centre. Moving clockwise from 1, the letters in the outer circle will spell out the name of a late British actress. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

Ripe Guarantee Save Car lock-up Come out Go back on Shout of joy Dog’s nose

and jaws 9. Gaming arena 10. Safe 11. Eight notes 12. Indigenous Solution to last puzzle: Charles Zidor

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Monday, March 24, 2014 METRO HERALD

‘Mummy porn’ director tells her children they will ‘never see’ the dark fairytale

Shade their eyes by METRO HERALD STAff

THE director of racy movie Fifty Shades Of Grey said she tells her children it is ‘a love story they’ll never see’. Filmmaker and artist Sam Taylor-Johnson described the erotic romance story as ‘a dark fairy tale’. The film, based on the book by EL James and expected to hit screens in time for Valentine’s Day next year, tells the story of billionaire Christian Grey who has a passionate relationship with student Anastasia Steele. When asked what she tells her children about her current role, Taylor-Johnson told The Sunday Times Magazine: ‘I tell them it’s a love story,’ adding: ‘A love story they’ll never see.’ The director said: ‘It’s like the world of the Grimm Taylor-Johnson: ‘Love story they Brothers. will never see’ ‘I like the transition of this girl and the journey that she goes on. I hope I haven’t said too much.’ The movie was due to be unveiled in August, but was put back until 2015 having been dogged by difficulties with casting. The production delay was thought to have been partly as a result of the abrupt exit of star Charlie Hunnam, who left citing his busy schedule and family commitments. He has now been replaced by Jamie Dornan from Northern Ireland, seen by TV viewers in RTÉ/BBC thriller The Fall. Dakota Johnson has taken on the role of Steele. Last month it was announced that James’s trilogy has sold 100million copies worldwide. The series – dubbed ‘mummy porn’ – is fast becoming one of the most widely read book series, having already been translated into 51 different languages.

Too explicit: Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson filming 50 Shades Of Grey Pictures: Pa/ sPlash

Oh, my cod, I’ve fallen for you hook, line and sinker…

Swelling up: Bess makes a move but it’s unrequited love Pictures: Jeremy Durkin WHEN relationships go bad, you’re likely to tell a lovesick friend there are plenty more fish in the sea. That’s advice this loved-up cow-horned boxfish just can’t see past. Bess has become all dreamy-eyed for a Moshi Monster toy put in its tank at Great Yarmouth Sea Life Centre in Norfolk, England. Curator Christine Pitcher thinks Bess has fallen for the spiky toy

because it looks so similar to her. ‘I know they usually say opposites attract but in this case, they couldn’t be more alike,’ said Ms Pitcher. ‘The Moshi Monster has spikes similar to the boxfish’s, so it is likely Bess thinks it’s another boxfish.’ There’s a happy ending to this fishy tale. Sea Life staff won’t remove the plastic figure, called Blurp, because they fear it might break Bess’s heart.

Lovesick: Bess only has eyes for Blurp

METRO HERALD Monday, March 24, 2014

‘Overlooked’ Cork a must see, says Huffington Post

Hogan: Take back election claim, Martin WITHDRAW your comments and apologise was Minister for the Environment Phil Hogan’s reaction to Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin’s remarks about the report by the Independent Committee into the review of Local Electoral Areas. ‘Deputy Martin’s timing is impeccable,’ Minister Hogan said. ‘There hasn’t been a peep out of him and now as we approach elections he makes this comment. Deputy Martin should hang his head in shame.’ At his party’s Ard Fheis, Mr Martin said Government was gerrymandering local authority boundaries for the benefit of Fine Gael and Labour seats in the May elections.

No marathon for dancing priest Horan FORMER priest Neil Horan has been booted out of next month’s London Marathon after charity chiefs discovered his history of wrecking highprofile sporting events. The defrocked cleric had been accepted to take part in the race earlier this year on behalf of St John’s Ambulance, but the charity’s bosses contacted him last week to say his participation had been revoked after they had been made aware of both his record of disrupting major sporting fixtures and his ‘extremist religious views’. The 66-year-old Kerryman said he was ‘extremely upset’ by the decision.

‘Garda chief clarified his comments’ TAOISEACH Enda Kenny has not been in touch with Martin Callinan, he said yesterday when asked if he expected the Garda Commissioner to make a statement in the next 48 hours. Earlier, Environment Minister Phil Hogan said the Garda chief does not have to withdraw his comments about whistleblowers. The Commissioner has clarified his comments and the context in which he made them, Mr Hogan added. Commissioner Callinan had described the leaking of details on penalty points issue by Sgt Maurice McCabe and former Garda John Wilson as ‘disgusting’.

In a Huff: Not everyone agreed that Cork was ‘underrated’

IF YOU’RE looking for a break in an underrated destination, then you don’t have to travel too far. Cork has claimed the top spot in the Huffington Post’s list of overlooked European cities which ‘you must visit in your lifetime’. ‘Cork is often referred to as the real capital of Ireland,’ the online article says. ‘If you’re looking for a city that is easy to navigate, with locals that are welcoming, and a laid-back vibe, Cork is for you.’ It then goes on to praise the city’s food scene and its restaurants as

well as its pubs and live music. Other cities listed include Lyon, Granada and Split. The reaction on Twitter was jubilant. @PositivelyIrish tweeted: ‘Loving that Cork is listed here! I totally agree, but then I may be a little biased ;)’ and @Elaine_Dineen said: ‘Cork comes out on top boi!’ But @katiedawson23 wasn’t so sure about the accolade, saying: ‘Overlooked & underrated?! Huffington Post might have visited Cork but I’m not sure they talked to any Corkonians!’

By-election after TD quits over Facebook teen message by AngHARAD WiLLiAMs DUBLIN West is facing another byelection following the resignation of independent TD Patrick Nulty over ‘inappropriate’ Facebook messages. Mr Nulty dramatically resigned on Saturday evening after admitting to sending lewd messages to a teenage girl over the social networking site. There is now a six-month window for the seat to be filled. Yesterday, Environment Minister Phil Hogan said it was too soon to say if the by-election will be held on the same day as the local and European elections – May 23. Mr Nulty’s resignation came hours before the Sunday World newspaper hit the stands with the revelations. ‘I sent inappropriate messages via Facebook,’ he said, in a statement. ‘This included inadvertently sending one to a 17-year-old woman. To the best of my knowledge I have never met this woman and the message was sent while under the influence of alcohol.’ Mr Nulty left the Labour Party last June in protest at the political direction it was taking. He apologised ‘whole-

heartedly’ to the girl involved and to her family. ‘It was never my intention to upset anyone in this way but it was totally wrong,’ he said. The Sunday World claimed Mr Apology: Nulty Nulty, 31, asked a schoolgirl in a late night Facebook message: ‘Have you ever been spanked?’ It is further alleged a woman was asked to send underwear in the post and another was urged to wear a skirt when visiting a constituency clinic. The newspaper said it confronted the TD with ‘geo-tagging’ evidence claiming the messages were sent from inside Leinster House. Mr Nulty was elected to the Dáil in 2011, taking the late former finance minister Brian Lenihan’s seat. In his statement, he said: ‘I set myself the highest standards personally and politically,’ he said. ‘Unfortunately due to personal mistakes I have not met those standards in this matter and I will take responsibility for that.’

And they call it puppy love... BROADCASTER Maia Dunphy cuddles husky-cross pups Heath and Bracken as the Dogs Trust announces it is building a stateof-the-art puppy wing this summer. The new wing will have space for six mothers and their pups, as well as 30 extra puppies at any one time.

The Dogs Trust said Ireland bears the title of puppy farming capital of Europe, with an estimated 90,000 puppies bred here each year. It is expected the new wing will save more than 500 puppies a year. Find out more at www. dogstrust.ie.

Hit-makers Crystal Swing ‘don’t need’ X Factor show

No way: Crystal Swing

CRYSTAL SWING have turned down two separate invitations to appear on The X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent, insisting they don’t need the publicity. The family band from East Cork – mother Mary Murray-Burke and her children Derek, 22, and Dervla, 21 – were approached by producers of both hit British talent shows in recent weeks. Mary, 50, who plays keyboards in the band, said she had no hesitation in

turning down their offers, saying their touring calendar was almost full. She said: ‘I received calls from both The X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent. They both wanted us to go on the shows and told me they thought it would give us huge publicity in the UK. ‘But I turned them both down, because I don’t feel we need it. I also feel we could be put up there and maybe ridiculed. I just don’t think it’s

something we need to do.’ Meanwhile, the band is hoping to replicate the success of previous smash hits like He Drinks Tequila, The Hucklebuck and Happy Days tonight when they release their latest music video on YouTube. Mary said: ‘It’s a cover of a very famous song, which we’ve done in an upbeat, typically Crystal Swing way.’ ‘We all act in it, it’s very funny.’

High stress levels ‘can make women infertile’

Monday, March 24, 2014 METRO HERALD

Inactive mothers influence children InactIve mothers may be setting their children a bad example, a study suggests. Scientists found a direct association between the physical activity levels of mothers and their four-year-old children. ‘the more activity a mother did, the more active was her child,’ said lead researcher Kathryn Hesketh, from University college London. Just 53 per cent of the mothers taking part in the study engaged in 30 minutes of moderate-tovigorous activity at least once a week, the results published in the journal Pediatrics showed.

by jOHn vOn RADOwiTz

Irish mammies are our personal heroes

PICTURE: PA

WOMEN: are you stressed about being infertile? Well then you could be making yourselves … infertile! High levels of pre-conception stress more than double the chances of a woman failing to get pregnant after 12 months of trying. A year of not conceiving despite regular unprotected intercourse is the clinical definition of infertility. Previous research had already highlighted an association between high stress levels and a reduced probability of pregnancy. Scientists found women with high levels of alpha-amylase, an enzyme in saliva that provides a biological indicator of stress, were 29 per cent less likely to get pregnant each month than those with low levels. They were also more than twice as likely to be declared infertile. Study leader Dr Courtney Denning-Johnson Lynch, from Ohio State University, urged women having difficulty getting pregnant to consider stress-managing techniques, such as yoga and meditation. However she noted stress is not the only factor involved in fertility problems. The team tracked 373 American women aged 18 to 40 over 12 months. Each participant was given one saliva test measuring two stress markers on enrolment and another after the start of their next menstrual cycle. The new findings are published in the journal Human Reproduction.

Free to keep on fighting

Anti-war activist and Aosdána member Margaretta D’Arcy celebrates her release from Mountjoy Prison on Saturday after serving more than nine weeks for refusing to uphold the law and keep away from unauthorised zones at Shannon Airport. Mrs D’Arcy, 79, who is undergoing cancer treatment, described the airport as ‘a place of murder, assassination and complicity’ for allowing US military planes to land there

HaLF of people questioned in a survey about heroes named their mum as their personal hero. eighty per cent of respondents to an Oxfam Ireland survey celebrate their mum on Mother’s Day by giving a gift or a card. Some 24 per cent said they’ve told the women in their lives they are inspirational. amy Huberman, Katie taylor and Miriam O’callaghan topped the celebrity heroine list, while former president Mary Mcaleese was ‘one of the most influential’ Irish female politicians. See www. oxfamheroes.org for more heroes.

METRO HERALD Monday, March 24, 2014

Tensions escalate after Turkey hits Syrian jet You need FIGHTER jets shot down a Syrian warplane after it violated Turkey’s airspace, the country’s prime minister said yesterday. The incident is likely to ramp up tensions between two countries already at odds over Syria’s civil war. As Syria accused its neighbour of ‘blatant aggression’, Turkey’s premier Recep Tayyip Erdogan said: ‘If you violate our border, our slap will be hard.’ Turkey, once an ally of Syria, now back the three-year uprising against president Bashar alAssad’s regime.

Military officials in Turkey said the Syrian MiG-23 ignored four warnings after entering its airspace near the Hatay border zone. One of two F-16s jets on patrol in the area fired at the plane, which crashednear the town of Kassab. The pilot safely ejected. Syria’s foreign ministry said the jet was on its side of the border and claimed the pilot was pursuing rebel gunmen coming into the country from Turkey. In September Turkey shot down a Syrian army helicopter after it entered Turkish airspace.

Rescuers call off search after deadly mudslide THREE people died and 18 were still missing yesterday after a massive mudslide in the US. They were caught in a tide of trees, rocks and mud that rescue workers described as ‘basically like quicksand’. It destroyed six houses and several people, including a sixmonth old boy, were critically injured by the slide on Saturday morning. Searchers in Snohomish County

in Washington state had to turn back after attempting a rescue people in an area where cries for help were heard. Fire district chief Travis Hots said they suspect people are still trapped but it was too dangerous for rescuers to reach them. Authorities are using helicopters, and plan to drop rescuers into areas if they find signs of life. The mud blocked about 1.6km of a motorway.

free speech, Michelle tells China MICHELLE OBAMA has made a bold call during a visit to Beijing for free speech to become a universal human right. The US first lady – who visited the Great Wall of China with her daughters Malia and Sasha yesterday – said unfettered access to information could help countries grow stronger. Perhaps ironically, her comments went unreported by Chinese statecontrolled media. But they won approval from the public after her comments were circulated via social media. ‘She reminded China in a polite and mild way that not allowing freedom of speech is not conducive to China,’ said Beijing historian Zhang Lifan. Mrs Obama has won compliments for her warmth and willingness to talk to ordinary people during her visit to a country where it is unusual for leaders’ spouses or children to appear in public.

Wall walk: Michelle Obama explores the Mutianyu section of China’s Great Wall with her daughters Malia, 15, and Sasha, 12, yesterday Picture: AP

Now French spot ‘debris’ from flight MH370 in sea

Pilot: Zaharie Ahmad Shah with his wife Faizah Khan and child Picture: eNP

World

SEARCH teams faced deteriorating weather and zero visibility last night as they followed up a fresh report of possible debris from the missing Malaysia Airlines jet. A French satellite became the third in little over a week to spot what could be wreckage from flight MH370 which disappeared on March 8 with 239 people on board. Malaysian authorities said the ob-

by DOMINIC YEATMAN ject was ‘in the same vicinity’ as other debris spotted in the Indian Ocean. But tropical cyclone Gillian has grounded search planes in Malaysia, and storms are battering air crews scouring the waters 2,400km southwest of Australia where the hunt is concentrated. Michael Barton, of the Australian

Maritime Safety Authority, said: ‘We are into a more defined area based on the satellite’s imagery.’ However, an air force search team reported being ‘completely enclosed’ by cloud down to the surface of the ocean. Australia’s prime minister Tony Abbott said he remained optimistic, adding: ‘We have now had a number of very credible leads, and there’s hope that we might be on the road to

discovering what happened to this ill-fated aircraft.’ Meanwhile, investigators in Kuala Lumpur are preparing to interview the Boeing pilot’s estranged wife amid fears captain Zaharie Ahmad Shah had links with terror groups. They are also trying to identify a woman who called him just before take-off using a mobile phone bought with fake ID.

digest

Jailed protest leader freed Patient falls off op table EGYPT: A leading figure in the 2011 uprising against then president Hosni Mubarak was released from prison yesterday at the start of his trial. Alaa Abdel-Fattah was facing charges of organising illegal protests. He was bailed until next month.

Elephants pack their trunks AMERICA: Elephants grew tired of giving children rides at a circus and tried to escape. The three females damaged several vehicles in the car park after breaking down a door. Staff at the Moolah Shrine Circus in St Charles, Missouri, lured them back with food. ‘A trainer yelled, “We need pretzels”,’ said a witness.

and finally...

GERMANY: A patient is suing a hospital after falling off an operating table. Jurgen Muller, 63, was told his thyroid surgery would last 30 minutes but fell off the bed under anaesthetic, breaking his jaw and losing four teeth. He was in intensive care in Merseburg for a week. The hospital said: ‘We regret what happened.’

May end to Pistorius trial SOUTH AFRICA: The trial of Paralympian Oscar Pistorius will finish on May 16 after both sides agreed an extension. Pistorius, 27, denies murdering his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, 29, on Valentine’s Day last year at his home in Pretoria.

FRANCE: Carla Bruni, wife of ex-president Nicolas Sarkozy, casts her vote in Paris in municipal elections yesterday Picture: AP

ITALY: Three burglars were arrested after mistaking police who followed them into a dark building in Venice for a rival gang. Instead of fleeing, they walked right up to the officers and told them ‘we were here first’, said police spokesman Ciriaco Udinesi.

Monday, March 24, 2014 METrO hEraLd

‘racist’ paper turns Obama into monkey

Metro sexual

With a TD resigning his seat this weekend over a message he drunkenly sent to a 17-year-old girl, sandra harris calls for a Facebook ‘drunk blocker’

acebook gave me a telling-off recently for sending too many friend requests to people I don’t know. (The little snitches must have clicked on the ‘No, I don’t know this loser’ button when they were rejecting me.) That’s not what Facebook is for, the powers-that-be informed me piously. It’s for connecting with family, friends and work colleagues and not for sending friend requests to every Tom, Dick and Harry so you can have millions of ‘friends’ and look like you’re popular. Now click ok to show you understand and move on, you big sad gobshite, you. Yes, Facebook is useful for making connections and all that jazz, but the snotty little communiqué neglected to mention some of its other more important functions. Primarily, it’s for keeping tabs on your exes and seeing if they’ve acquired a new squeeze and, if so, are they hotter than you? It’s also invaluable for snooping on the profiles of people you went to school with to check on whether or not they’ve gotten fat, or have ugly babies or spouses who closely

resemble the love child of Shrek betray you and let you down faster and the three-toed sloth. than a busted Stair-Master 3000. The joy I felt on discovering that by the way, do you know that the girl who’d bullied me for years function that Facebook has that in school had grown a moustache prevents you from sending wildly that Magnum P.I. himself would inappropriate, drunken sex kill for has to be felt to be believed. messages to your exes at three of course, this unparalleled o’clock in the morning...? You insight we are allowed to have into don’t? the lives of others can also have the Well, that’s because it doesn’t opposite effect. I recently had a bloody well exist but it should, and nose on the profile of a guy I went here’s why: to prevent people like to college with. me from making arses of When I saw the photos themselves after of his stunningly they’ve had a few glamorous wife and glasses of wine and the fabulous, offare feeling Facebook can be a the-beaten-track dangerous weapon in desperately places he’d been lonely and horny to courtesy of his in the middle of the hands of lonely, job as a travel the night. horny, single people writer for a top I recently sent magazine, places I such a Facebook who stay up late could only ever message to an ex of dream about seeing mine inviting him over because I got knocked up to my place for some – young and never went anyahem – adult fun. Well, I’m a where but don’t say I’m bitter sophisticated, single woman-ofbecause I’m not, I was so dethe-world, aren’t I? If the Sex and pressed I cried for a week. The city gals could do it, why This is a tragic example of how can’t I? anyway, the next day a Facebook – friend, confidante, peep at my messages revealed that secret lover, soulmate – can also the invite that was supposed to read

“

by sharOn Marris

stupid – not because he’s white. The caption here specifically mentions race – the photo is directly implying that black people are comparable with apes and is, therefore, racist.’ This is not the first time a newspaper has depicted Mr obama as an ape. In 2009, the New York Post issued an apology after printing a cartoon with a similar theme. It added: ‘Sometimes a cartoon is just a cartoon, even if the opportunists make it something else.’ The article led to a debate on whether there is too much racism in europe. one Reddit user wrote: ‘Just because a stupid newspaper in belgium makes a racist picture does not mean that every other country is racist, too.’ as well as laying a wreath at Flanders Field on Wednesday, Mr obama will attend eU and Nato meetings, with Ukraine at the top of the agenda.

along the lines of: ‘Hey baby, fancy popping over for some horny fun...?’ actually read: ‘Hey bart, fancy matching turkeys brxsgn sanatogen hornswaggle...?’ or words to that effect. anyone who’s ever done it will know what I mean. Needless to say, he hadn’t bothered to respond and had, in fact, also blocked me entirely while he was at it. The bastard. The point is, I should never have been allowed to send that message while plastered, and it was downright irresponsible of Facebook to let me do it, if not actually criminally negligent. Shame on you, Mark Zuckerberg (please don’t sue my ass, Mr Zuckerberg, sir. You are an allpowerful and superior human being and I am not worthy to spitshine your loafers). You see, Facebook is undoubtedly a useful tool but it can be a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands, ie, the hands of lonely, horny, single people who drink and stay up late looking at things that are none of their bloody business. Use it wisely, or it could destroy you mentally... That being said, there’s this super-hot guy who’s just joined my book club and Facebook would be the ideal way to suss out some of the details about him that I would be naturally reticent about coming straight out and asking him myself. You know, things like

picTure: epa

a NeWSPaPeR has printed a picture of barack obama which was doctored to make him look like an ape. De Morgen, a belgian title, published it days before the US president makes a visit to commemorate the start of World War I. The feature – labelled as satire – also said Mr obama began selling cannabis after becoming the first black president. The newspaper pretended the doctored photographs were sent in by Russian president Vladimir Putin. Pictures of the section have circulated online with mixed opinions. Some have praised the freedom given to the belgian press, while others called it racist. one user on the social-networking site Reddit wrote: ‘White people are also portrayed as apes – look at recent pictures of George W bush.’ another commenter replied: ‘bush is compared with apes because he’s

Mark Zuckerberg: Please will you introduce Facebook ‘drunk mode’? if he’s married or single, has any pets or phobias or earns the kind of moolah that would go a long way towards keeping me in the style I’m gagging to become accustomed to. Maybe I’ll just have a wee peep on his profile…

METRO HERALD Monday, March 24, 2014

★ ★★

Theo: Fans won’t be a diversion for me

Success: Theo James

heo James says being the youngest of five siblings will help him survive fan pandemonium after he became the latest British hunk to land blockbuster success. The Divergent actor, 29, follows in success. the footsteps of Twilight’s Robert Pattinson

by ANDREI HARMSWORTH

and Harry Potter’s Daniel Radcliffe after the sci-fi flick stormed the US box office – but won’t freak out until ns are scratching at his front door. fans ‘I think, to be honest, I am a bit of a realist, until it happens I don’t think about it too much. Something’s not something until it’s something,’ said James, who had a brief role on Downton Abbeyy four years ago. in Miami. And, it seems, the ‘I’m the youngest of five kids, so I body art has been inspired ys trying to be older.’ was always by the Beauty And The Beat The screen hunk’s family find his singer’s ongoing legal issues. ame comical. new-found fame Bang Bang says Bieber ‘They think it’s great and find it hisent him a text to order the larious. My older brothers are conmid-air tattoo session which stantly ribbing me about it,’ he added. read: ‘Forgiveness is ry different things, ‘They all do very powerful... forgive as Jesus well because it keeps which is good as died on the cross to forgive you as real as can be.’ our sins.’ James is using his Divergent fame to Meanwhile, Bieber’s onversity in cinema. press for more diversity off girlfriend Selena Gomez, He told gay mag Advocate: ‘I remem21, proved just how lippy ber when Queer As Folk came out and she can be as she took a thinking, “Things are changing. Maybe selfie of her sucking on a soft there will be more shows like this.” drink and posted it on suddenly, there was a ‘And then Instagram. drought. Hopefully, the day we have a gayy action hero isn’t far away.’ Divergent, which also stars Kate WinsEnrique Iglesias and his tennis babe Anna let, is released in the coming weeks. Kournikova must make a racket between the sheets

Bieber tatted up at 40,000ft It’s lucky Justin Bieber’s tattooist has a steady hand after the pop brat got inked up while cruising at 12,200m (40,000ft). The 20-year-old set celebrity tattooist Bang Bang to work on his abs while flying back to Canada. The flight hit turbulence while he inked the star, and Bang Bang told TMZ the procedure was ‘the most difficult I’ve ever done.’ Bieber had the word ‘forgiveness’ permanently etched on to his trunk days after his drink-drive arrest

Licensed and Bonded No: TO 101

– as long as he hasn’t been drinking. The 38-year-old singer revealed he loves ‘crazy’ sex with Kournikova, 32. ‘But it depends how drunk I am. If I’m too drunk, then there’s no sex whatsoever as I can’t get it up,’ the Spanish I’m A Freak star said. ‘Sex can be raw, immature and fun or it can be more about love.’

Gaga goes crazy for G.U.Y.

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Winners of Best European & Best Longhaul Tour Operator 2014 as voted by Irish Travel Agents

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Lady Gaga resurrects Michael Jackson, John Lennon, Gandhi and Jesus in the video for new track G.U.Y. – and tries to upstage them all by flashing the flesh and cavorting with men in hot pants. The 27-year-old is first glimpsed lying trampled on the ground with soiled angel wings and an arrow in her back. She drags herself to a palace where she’s taken in and revived by a camp collection of good samaritans including the stars of reality show The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Cue lots of high-octane dance routines – including a spot of synchronised imming Picture: ScoPe FeatureS swimming

I like my tan to be from top to bottom Shailene Woodley bizarrely explains she likes to keep her private parts happy... by sunning them. The 22-year-old old US star has been spilling the beans ans about her odd beauty regime and hard partying after hitting the big time in sci-fi action blockbuster Divergent. ‘Another thing I like to do is give my vagina a little vitamin D,’ the actress admitted. ‘I was reading an article written by a herbalist I studied about yeast infections and other genital issues. She said there’s nothing itamin D.’ Less healthily, she better than vitamin revealed aled her house parties had got out of hand. ‘I think the cops did get called a few times,’ she told old Into The Gloss.

Tan-tastic: Shailene Woodley

Monday, March 24, 2014 METRO HERALD

★

Brad P Pitt formed one of the coolest celebrity bromances when he partied through the night with Kings Of Leon. The 50-y 50-year-old took a night off daddy duties and let his hair down as he let it all hang out with the Nashville rockers until 3am. Pitt P joined the band after their Los Angeles gig at Warwick bar and restaurant for their official after-party.

Daltr won’t Daltrey dish the dirt R

ogEr Daltrey won’t be sharing his sexcapades in his autobiography because he says his life has been far more ‘interhis esting’ than how many women he’s slept with. The Who frontman admits he is going it alone without a publishing deal so isn’ forced he isn’t into writing another ‘salacious rock book’. ‘How many parties, how many birds and man drugs how many can it be about? I’m really not interested in that,’ he told guilty Pleasures. ‘I’d like to try and take people into what it felt like from inside. Being a singer and expressing through the voice and all that’s gone in there. A w to get it out.’ book would be a great way The My generation singer said he will

by JENNI MCKNIGHT avoid a publishing deal because he does not want ‘to be beholden to publishers’. ‘Sadly most people are just interested in who shagged who and who was taking what but like I say, if I don’t do a publishing deal I don’t have to be beholden to that,’ he added. Meanwhile, Daltrey, 70, admitted he struggles to identify with music today because he thinks it all sounds the same. ‘I don’t know whether it’s changed or the public and radio are generally more conservative and safer then they used to be,’ he confessed. But there is one artist he raves about. ‘Paolo Nutini, what a great voice, he’s fantastic,’ Daltrey gushed. ‘generally the good artists still scream through, but a lot just seem to be the same, nothing’s different.’

★

Elton John is to march David Furnish up the aisle again, now the couple can legally marry. The Rocket Man, 66, and Furnish were one of the first couples to enter a civil partnership in 2005, and will wed when gay marriage becomes legal in Britain from Saturday. Furnish, 51, told

Attitude magazine: ‘Elton and I think there is a massive difference between calling someone your “partner” and your “husband”. ‘Partner is such an impersonal word and doesn’t adequately describe the love we have for each other. It’s our duty to do it,’ he added.

e t OW OURITE N VIN o E STOR UR FAV YO S. FOR D LOOK NCA

Presents an

Thursday, March 27th 6pm - 9pm DJ & Complimentary Refreshments NCAD Fashion Competition Tropical Popical Nail Bar Manny nanny: Da David Walliams is cross-dressing again as he joins a team of nannies to look after af Simon Cowell’s baby. The comedian – also a new father – pinn to promote the new series of Britain’s Got Talent in an ad that puts on his pinny plays on the judges’ expanding e families. Alesha Dixon, 35, and Amanda Holden, een looking after af their babies before filming for the show. But cut to 43, are seen Cowell’s dressing room and the 54-year-old has his feet up as the nannies take r Er – who doesn’t take kindly to the attentions of Walliams, 42 care of his son Eric

To receive your15%off voucher, RSVP at gometro.ie/forever21

PIcture: rex

Ellen: It It’s girls over God Ellen Page has blasted a pastor who questioned her sexuality – with plenty of support from fans. The Canadian actress, who revealed she was a lesbian last month, hit back after she was told that being gay is a belief. The 27-year-old told her 880,000 Twitter followers: ‘2 da Pastor who wrote me – My soul isnt struggling& I don’t want arms of Heavenly Father around me. A girls arms? Yes.’ Her defiant and unapologetic response proved a hit with her admirers. Many offered themselves to be the girl who welcomed her into their arms.

* Receive 15% off your purchase of regular priced merchandise on 27th March 2014 from 6pm – 9pm at the Forever 21 location at the Jervis Shopping Centre, Ireland. No minimum purchase required. Valid in-store only. Not valid online. Offer cannot be combined with any other coupons, discounts, offers, or promotions. Offer cannot be used for gift card purchases, returns, and sale items. Forever 21 reserves the right to modify or cancel this promotion at any time without notice. See store for details.

10 METRO HERALD Monday, March 24, 2014

in focus D

news@metroherald.ie

Searching for privacy? Be quack about it E

VERYONE loves an underdog. But, in the scrap between internet search engines, it is an under-duck that is starting to wade into the waters of the biggest birds in the online pond. They don’t come any bigger than Google but has the tech giant’s ongoing plan to branch out from its search function left it vulnerable to the competition? Not really: Google controls two thirds of the search engine market and is a long way ahead of its nearest rivals, Bing and Yahoo!. However, a much smaller player is beginning to make an impact – and it hasn’t gone unnoticed by the powers that be at Google Towers.

Search engine DuckDuckGo does

not track

its users. IP addresses are not logged and search cookies are not used, while search history is not saved

and about 130million search‘Big Five’ US search market share es are performed there each month. Google Ask.com Not that the company knows what people are searching for: it doesn’t care. AOL And that is how its users like Microsoft Bing it. ‘When you’re on DuckDuckGo, you’re completely Yahoo! anonymous,’ said founder and chief executive Gabriel Weinberg. ‘You could search one or a thousand times and we would never know. If someone got access to our data, it wouldn’t be useful to tie anything back to you because we don’t store anything.’ da. But a steady stream of users conThe 34-year-old started Duck- tacted Mr Weinberg, asking him if DuckGo in Pennsylvania six years he was storing search logs and IP ago after he sold a previous venture addresses. He decided there was an for $10million. While investigating important demand for a new kind of a series of potential new projects, he search engine. noticed something about his online ‘This is really personal informaexperience. As Google goes from a search engine to a data behemoth tion, probably the most personal on ‘At the time, I found myself search- the internet,’ he said. A large part of monitoring our every online move, the founder of a search site ing a lot and I was dissatisfied with DuckDuckGo’s success is built on that doesn’t track its members tells ROSS McGUINNESS why he Google results – maybe I was the listening to its users. But Mr Weinwon’t use Google again... only one in 2007 who was! berg is happy to admit that the Prism ‘There was a lot of spam in the re- factor is a key one in its emergence. ‘Edward Snowden and the revelaDuckDuckGo is a search engine broke last June, the site became the sults, going to irrelevant sites with with a unique selling point: it doesn’t DuckDuckGo-to stopping point for lots of ads. I found myself going to tions around it have certainly skyWikipedia and IMDb and all these rocketed our growth,’ he said. store cookies or IP addresses and it online searches. But will DuckDuckGo’s approach doesn’t save searches. In other Its number of daily searches went sites that cropped up with really words, it doesn’t track the online from 2million to 3million in the good answers. I thought, “Why to privacy prove to be prescient? movements of its users, a trait of space of a week. In the search arena, aren’t those coming up on top of the Earlier this week, Google chief executive Larry Page said we should Google’s business model. those numbers are small – more than search engine?”’ accept data sharing was inevitable. A few years ago, DuckDuckGo 100billion searches are performed HEN DuckDuckGo John McCann, phones and tablets enjoyed steady growth and was bub- on Google each month – but they illaunched, protect- writer at TechRadar.com, said: bling along nicely. But, when the lustrate people are becoming more ing users’ privacy ‘We’re seeing more and more Edward Snowden revelations about concerned about their privacy. wasn’t the first people turn to these anonymous web National Security Agency surveilDuckDuckGo reached the 4.5milthing on the agen- browsers as concerns over data lance through its Prism programme lion searches-a-day mark this year mining, hacking and the general invasion of privacy become ever more prominent in society, especially in the wake of the NSA DuckDuckGo scandal. has ‘It’s not just our computers either: we staff and is increasingly surf the based in Paoli web on our mobile of users from from the in Pennsylvania phones and tablets, are from Europe Asia-Pacific and there are fears the US region The site has its own over how secure open-source community these devices are. of users and developers ‘You need to be who can suggest and conscious of the implement changes information you’re DuckDuckGo-rowth: sharing online.’

67.6% 2.4%

18.3% 1.3% 10.4%

50%

45%

Feb 13,

It was founded by Gabriel Weinberg in

2008

There were more than

1bn

searches on DuckDuckGo in 2013

There are about

130m searches made a month on the site

Sources: DuckDuckGo, comScore Pictures: DuckDuckGo

2012:

June 10, 2013:

June 17, Jan 9, 2013:

2014:

1m 2m 3m 4.5m searches per day

DuckDuckGo’s user numbers spiked following the Edward Snowden leaks about the National Security Agency secret surveillance programme, Prism

Monday, March 24, 2014 METRO HERALD

Discarded WWII munitions force out firefighters FIREFIGHTERS had to pull out of tackling a fire in the Alps – because of explosions caused by World War II ammunition. They were forced to let the blaze burn after bullets, grenades and mines left by retreating Nazis around Lilienfeld, Austria, blew up in the heat. They later returned to tackle the inferno, which started when a digger being used by lumberjacks caught fire.

Taken: Col Mamchur (right) during a wedding on Belbek airbase

Cancer link to common virus

Troops seize commander in takeover of air base A SENIOR Ukrainian air force commander is being held after his base in Crimea was stormed by proRussian forces, the country’s acting president said yesterday. Col Yuliy Mamchur was taken by forces who smashed through the walls of Belbek air force base and used stun grenades, Oleksandr Turchynov added. Former boxer turned politician Vitali Klitschko said Col Mamchur was being held by the Russian military in Sevastopol, which is home to Russia’s Black Sea fleet. The Russian defence ministry said its flag was now flying over 189 military facilities in Crimea after it annexed the region last week in a move the West has called illegal. At a Ukrainian marines base in Feodosia, troops were negotiat-

by NicOLE LE MARiE ing with Russian forces on handing over the base, Lt Anatoly Mozgovoi said. They were hoping to hold on to heavy weapons such as rocket-propelled grenades and cannon. ‘I think from my personal opinion, the Russian Federation has enough weapons,’ he said. Meanwhile, Russia has deployed thousands of troops in its regions near the Ukrainian border and concerns were high it could use unrest in the east, which supported former president Viktor Yanukovych, as a pretext for crossing the border. Russian deputy defence minister Anatoly Antonov said the number of troops near the border did not exceed international treaty limits.

A VIRUS carried by 95 per cent of humans causes 200,000 new cancer cases each year, claims a charity. Epstein-Barr virus, first identified 50 years ago, has no effect on most people, but causes glandular fever in some and is linked to cancers such as lymphoma, says Cancer Research UK. Many pick up the virus in childhood and carry it for life with no ill effects. A conference in Oxford is coordinating efforts to develop a vaccine.

Sharks kill 8th victim at beach

Under seige: Col Mamchur (centre) the day before he was seized Pictures: reuters/aP

A TOURIST became the eighth victim to die in a shark attack in five years after swimming off one of the world’s deadliest beaches. The unnamed 72-yearold died on Saturday at Second Beach in Port St Johns, South Africa. Witness Catherine Yazbek said the Austrian man was bitten by several sharks. ‘It’s the worst I’ve seen’ she said. No lifeguards patrol the area as a result of council cutbacks, she added.

Uncle Ben’s are giving one lucky reader a €1,000 holiday voucher. Competition: For your chance to win, just answer this simple question: Perfect for busy people who are always on the go – you can make something simply delicious in 2 minutes with Uncle Ben’s Express Rice range. Our classic varieties (plain) are simple and versatile to compliment any dish. Or why not try our specials range available in authentic flavours from Mexican, to Oriental, to Indian for a delicious and tasty meal in no time! Rest assured there are no artificial flavours, colours, or preservatives in any of our products. Why not try one of our great varieties with vegetables or meat this evening and enjoy good food fast.

Terms & Conditions: The competition closes at Midnight Friday 28th March 2014. Open to all residents in Ireland over 18 years. The winners will be chosen at random and notified by telephone. Usual Metro Herald rules apply. Editor's decision is final. By entering this competition you agree to sign up to the Metro promotions list - To optout text NOMETRO to 51155. SP. Oxygen8 Communications, 4th Floor, Malt House North, Grand Canal Quay, D2. Customer Service number 0818 286 606.

How long does Uncle Ben’s Mexican Express Rice take to cook? A. 2 Minutes B. 7 Seconds C. 1 Hour Text BEN, followed by your answer A, B or C, with your name, email and date of birth to 53131 (texts cost 60c + standard network charge).

12 METRO HERALD Monday, March 24, 2014

Mailbox

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We need to fight for our language, but teaching must change

he Irish language has suffered greatly in recent years. As of the 2011 census there are around 94,000 native Irish speakers here. As a compulsory subject Irish is taught to a large number of students. Many deem it ‘challenging’ and dub it ‘useless’. The wrong style of teaching accompanies a flawed syllabus, thus creating a mental block for many students who have no motivation to invest time in learning it. Irish is an important part of our culture and heritage, and one would think a language which many people fought and died for would be embraced and make us feel proud to finally be able to exercise our right to speak our native tongue. I want to learn to speak Irish. I shouldn’t have to go to the Gaeltacht for three weeks in the summer to experience everyday occurrences through Irish. People should embrace Irish and speak it on a more regular basis. The syllabus should be reviewed and

*Please include a name and location. Texts cost €0.30 per message + standard network charges. SP. Oxygen8 Communications, 4th Floor, Malt House North, Grand Canal Quay, D2. Customer service number 0818286606

Quick pic

’TIS THE SEASON: Reader Lucy Maguire sent us this picture of her daughter Ciara clutching proof that spring has sprung Send your photos to pictures@ metroherald.ie with ‘Quick pic’ as the subject and we will print the best each day in the paper

changed to focus more on speaking, and this in my opinion will motivate many to gain an interest. Classes should not focus on grammar but on having regular everyday conversations. This will improve a student’s comprehension and improve confidence when speaking in Irish. Learning multiple pages of answers only demonstrates one’s memory skills. I hope one day to live in a society where I can interact with many through Irish and motivate people to learn the language our ancestors fought so hard to keep alive. Danny De Vaal ■ Max P, the LGBT didn’t seek to turn the St Patrick’s parade into a gay one, but simply to have the right to hold banners as all other groups were allowed. As for throwing their sexuality in people’s faces – do no hetrosexuals do that in bars, clubs, etc? All the LGBT want is equality. JBoy ■ Just a quick reply to Max P... You are disgusting. Sickened in Smithfield

gOOD On yA

yEH big RiDE

● I would like to say a big thank you to Sylvia (who gets off her bike) and picks up our favourite Metro Herald for us every morning. All your grateful colleagues in the office

● To the guy on the Red Luas who saved me from the screaming lady on Saturday night, you are an officer and a gentleman. Want to lift me up where we belong?

● Thanks to the driver of the 46a who always says good morning and goodbye to every passenger in the morning. T

● Tight-trousered guy in Cineworld Friday – I liked what I saw. Brazen blondie with the bob

RAnDOM AcTs Of kinDnEss

yOuR RusH-HOuR cRusH

TREnDing

Damsel in distress

#maryloumcdonald

@metrohnews #metromailbox

● Super-impressed with Mary Lou MacDonald on the #latelateshow. ‘Helllllo Maaary Lou....’ Kerry GAA’s Paul Galvin @pgal10

● Great job from Marylou but don’t think we’d see a male politician of that calibre interviewed in that tone. @Glenna_Lynch

● Fair play duit Mary Lou! An mhaith. I love prawns 2. Party leader @GerryAdamsSF

● Jeez Mary Lou is the absolute spit of her brother Ronald.Dustin the Turkey @DustinOfficial

WIN a team entry to the TAG RUGBY SUMMER BUSINESS HOUSES L LEAGUE To celebrate the kick-off of the summer Tag Rugby season, Metro Herald and the Irish Tag Rugby Association have teamed up to offer one lucky reader a team entry for themselves and their colleagues.

The leagues will be held on Thursdays at Monkstown, Dublin and the prize includes a Corporate Coaching blitz prior to start to make sure your team is on top of its game!

To enter simply visit

gometro.ie/tagrugby

Monday, March 24, 2014 METRO HERALD

Our agony aunt tackles the dilemmas of Facebook. See DEAR DOLLY p17

‘I haven’t got insecurities now’ Actor JACK O’CONNELL is drawing on experience for new film Starred Up, in which he plays a young offender, writes Ann Lee

14 METRO HERALD Monday, March 24, 2014

➔

film

ack O’connell’s life could have taken a very different turn. after falling in with ‘a couple of wrong crowds’ a few years ago, he was handed a referral order as a young offender (he won’t divulge any more as other people were involved). It was the wake-up call he needed. ‘It gave me a slight insight as to exactly why I shouldn’t be f***ing around and where I’d probably end up if I did,’ he says. ‘I certainly wouldn’t be here.’ For Starred Up, he channelled this experience into the role of Eric – not just any young offender but one who is considered so dangerous he’s fast-tracked into an adult prison. In David Mackenzie’s gritty drama, he’s a snarling young pup trying to prove he’s just as tough as the hardened big, bad wolves. It doesn’t help that his father (Ben Mendelsohn) is locked up in the same place, taking daddy issues to a whole new level. Think Scum or a Prophet rather than The Shawshank Redemption. O’connell, most famous for his role as cook in E4 drama Skins, credits acting and his friends for saving him from further trouble – unlike Eric, who seems to relish it. ‘My best form of combat now is to walk in the opposite direction,’ he says. ‘My life’s brilliant. I haven’t got insecurities now. I don’t need to project them out to other people if I feel threatened. I’ve got no curiosity as to what my fists can do any more.’ There’s no chance of turning the other cheek in Starred Up, where the threat of violence lurks close to the surface, but

“I’ve got no curiosity as to what my fists can do any more

there is the possibility of redemption. This comes in the form of a kind-hearted counsellor (Homeland’s Rupert Friend), who meets the young inmate when he’s got his teeth clamped down on an unfortunate prison officer’s penis after he explodes in a fit of rage. For O’connell, Eric was his chance to challenge the stereotype of a young offender as a ‘childish delinquent’ and instead look at someone who was a product of his environment. ‘He’s clearly not the sort of chap you might invite round for dinner with your parents,’ he says, ‘but also not someone you want to totally write off.’ His performance is raw, visceral and astoni s h i n g l y powerful. It’s a career-defining turn and this is one of several upcoming films that will put O’connell’s name on the map. He’s also in thriller 71 and

plays Olympic athlete Louis Zamperini in angelina Jolie’s directorial debut, Unbroken. With a coen brothers script, it’s already attracting Oscar buzz. Hollywood, it seems, is on the verge of falling at his feet. So, did he have a crush on Jolie? ‘Oh, definitely. She’s phenomenal. The world’s best boss, in my opinion. But I never flirted,’ he says with a smile on his face, ‘because I knew I’d be seeing her fella eventually.’

HERE are also rumours about a role in the forthcoming Star Wars: Episode VII, after O’connell met with the casting director. He’s keen to point out it was just a general meeting and he was unaware it was related to Star Wars but admits he would be tempted. ‘I’m open-minded,’ he says. ‘JJ [abrams] seems like an awesome director and a lot of people speak very highly of him, so for that reason alone I’d have to consider it.’ However, O’connell is reluctant to be seen as the next flash-in-the-pan big thing. There’s been a dip into tabloid territory (he briefly dated Tulisa contostavlos) but it’s clear he takes his work very seriously. ‘What’s important to me is the longevity,’ he says. ‘I want to create a body of work that is entertaining and speaks to people for a long time. Longer than my life span. They’re the real goals for me as an actor, not the fame side of things.’

Starred Up is in cinemas now.

YOuR DuBLIN WEEk with angharad williams Earl sweatshirt

gET DOWN TO…

Having played support for Eminem at Slane, Earl Sweatshirt returns to Ireland to showcase tracks from his album Doris. Best known as a member of hip-hop collective Odd Future, Sweatshirt has worked with names including RZA, Tyler the Creator, Vince Staples and Mac Miller on the album which went straight to the top of the US Top Rap Albums chart. Irish hip-hop outfit The Animators will perform as special guests on the night Wed, The Academy, 57 Middle Abbey Street D1, €30, 8pm. Tel: (01) 877 9999. www.theacademydublin.com

Andy Cairns

Therapy? founding member Andy Cairns has embarked on his first ever solo acoustic tour playing his own tracks as well as some of the band’s biggest hits. The tour comes ahead of the 20th anniversary releases of Therapy?’s breakthrough albums Infernal Love and Troublegum. The Northern Irelandborn musician has played with multiple genres over the course of 13 studio albums and has shared the bill with Metallica, Ozzy Osbourne and the Rolling Stones. This is your chance to hear some of Therapy?’s music stripped back in this unique performance Weds, Whelan’s, 25 Wexford Street D2, €20, 8pm. Tel: (01) 478 0766. www.whelanslive.com

OneRepublic

Since they released Dreaming Out Loud in 2007, OneRepublic have done well for themselves. There are the No.1 singles, Grammy awards and platinum-selling albums. Last year, the band from Colorado Springs released their third album, Native, which won them a whole new legion of fans and brings them to Dublin as part of the Native tour. US producer and singer-songwriter Mikky Ekko supports Tonight & tomorrow, Olympia Theatre, 72 Dame Street D2, 7pm (sold out). Tel: 0818 719 330. www.olympia.ie.

gET DREssED up fOR… War Horse

War Horse is the story of a young boy called Albert and his beloved horse, Joey, who has been requisitioned to fight for the British in World War I. Caught in enemy crossfire, Joey ends up serving on both sides during the war. Albert embarks on a mission to find his horse and bring him home in a tale of courage, loyalty and friendship. Based on the book by Michael Morpurgo and adapted for the big screen in 2011 in a film directed by Steven Spielberg, four million people have seen the stage adaptation worldwide since its UK premiere in 2007. Join the crowd and experience the show featuring life-size equine puppets, which brings breathing and galloping horses to life on stage Weds until Apr 26, Bord Gáis Energy Theatre, Docklands D2, 2.30pm & 7.30pm, from €20. Tel: 0818 719 377. www.bordgaisenergytheatre.ie

CuRIOus ABOuT.... pantha du prince Hendrik Weber, also known wn as Pantha du Prince, Panthel thel and Glühen 4, comes to the National Concert oncert Hall with The Bell Laboratory ory to perform their worldacclaimed collaborative symphony, Elements Of Light. The collaborative project is a symphony for electronics, percussion cussion and bell carillon, a three-tonne onne

instrument comprising 50 bronze bells. The ompr performance uses rreconstructed electronic textures and live liv percussion including the three thr ton Bell Carillon to t explore the possibilities of the bell as an instrument. instrumen Weds, We The National Concert Hall, Earlsfort Co Terrace, D2, €25 to €30, Terr 8pm. TTel: (01) 417 0000. www.nch.ie www

music

Monday, March 24, 2014 METRO HERALD

features@metroherald.ie to advertise, call 01 7055010

George’s slight return

Excess all areas for Teflon Don

THE big RELEASE

GEORGE MICHAEL SYMPHONICA

Virgin EMI/Universal HHHII

Dark, twisted and glorious

he first new George Michael album in ten years is something to get excited about – except there’s not really enough ‘new’ about this live orchestral record, largely recorded during the singer’s opulent 2011/12 Symphonica tour and flawlessly produced by Michael and the late Phil Ramone. It features reworkings of Michael’s past hits and covers but five of these, including the US Depression-era standard Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?, were tackled on his 1999 album, Songs From The Last Century. The aim of the game seems to be to remind us that, after a few troubled years, the now clean Michael is also a serious (and seriously talented) artist. While his crooning voice undeniably sounds better than ever on these lush arrangements, it’s the less obvious covers, such as an appropriately delicate take on Terence Trent D’Arby’s beautifully sad Let her Down easy, that are worth listening to here. he knowingly jokes ‘it’s too much to expect a white man to do it like Nina [Simone]’ on Feeling Good – but, really, when a song has been both relentlessly covered and so absolutely claimed by someone else, another version (however competent) has no thrill unless it offers a total reinvention. A master of heartfelt emotion and irreverent funk, Michael has perhaps always had a foot in the MOR camp – but he can also be a surprising artist. This really just holds open the door for a studio album of new material, touted to be coming later this year.

COLOURMUSIC MAY YOU MARRY RICH Memphis Industries

HHHHI

Few albums with their feet in rock soil, however alternative, develop into such a genuinely twisted hybrid as to make classification impossible without sounding like a try-hard mess. Cue the thrillingly peculiar, not entirely wholesome, but highly seductive album from Oklahoma quartet Colourmusic. To a frame of hypnotic guitar rock with post-punk/art-goth overtones, they’ve added contemporary beats and wayward electronics with deep-space production for extra weirdness. Savagery and strangeness are everywhere, and danger glitters at every turn. Thrillingly eccentric as it is, May You Marry Rich always has its eye on structure, from the mutant r’n’b of The Duchess to the bleakly blissed-out Satyricon and the hard-driving Idiot. Swans, Suicide, Bowie’s Berlin works and The Jesus And Mary Chain may all be swirling somewhere in the mix but Colourmusic’s recipe is entirely their own. Sharon O’Connell

Amy Dawson

ALSO OUT MorE nEw albUMs ratED JIMI GOOdwIn ODLUDEK Heavenly

HHHHI odludek is apparently a Polish word meaning ‘recluse’, which seems a fitting title for Goodwin’s first solo album since his quietly anthemic trio Doves took an extended break. on closer inspection, however, it’s less the work of a hermit and more the result of some intense partnerships with like-minded musicians. simon Dine, the producer who helped reboot Paul weller’s

career, co-writes the slowburning northern soul ballad Didsbury Girl, while Goodwin’s old pal Guy Garvey adds a very hymnal, Elbowish vibe to tracks such as Hope and Panic tree. Goodwin says he wanted this album to sound like a crazily diverse mixtape and it certainly lurches all over the place, from drowsy folk jazz (the lovely Keep My soul In song) to rave (live like a river, recalling Goodwin’s early house outfit, sub sub). It sometimes lacks the electric urgency of Doves but odludek possesses a distinctively woozy beauty of its own. John Lewis

RICK ROSS MASTER MIND Def Jam HHHII Teflon Don Rick Ross has been looking less than non-stick of late. Singles have bombed, ‘date rape’ lyrics have seen him in hot water, and Mastermind, his sixth album, has been on hold for months. But he ploughs on regardless, as hard to turn around as a tanker. And so Mastermind comes with pretty much what you’d expect: the purveyor of outrageous excess dropping basic rhymes with a thudding delivery about cash, bitches, biblical references, grilled cheese; a few distasteful hashtags… the usual, with Puff Daddy overseeing the mix in bombastic style. The 1990s flashbacks – revisiting Biggie on Nobody, channelling Wu-Tang and Camp Lo on What A Shame – are of interest. But the big hits come from the guests: Jay-Z killing it on The Devil Is A Lie and Kanye on Sanctified, which also boasts the gospel holler of Betty Wright. Siobhán Murphy

francoirish féile litríochta, festival de littérature

15th

LIARS MESS

Anniversary

Mute

Literary Festival // 4 & 5 April, Dublin Castle, George's Hall // 6 April, Alliance Française

HHHHI the sole trademark of liars’ sound is their lack of one. they are known for radical but seamlessly executed shifts in gear between each album. Mess, the art rockers’ seventh album since their 2001 debut, bears links to their last record, 2012’s wIXIw, in that it is another foray away from guitars and into electronica. but whereas that was a fragile tracing of fears and doubts, this is a more stomping statement of confidence. It’s frequently playful and danceable – as

2014

evidenced by the deep, throbbing synths of opening track Mask Maker, which kicks off with the distorted command: ‘take my pants off/ use my socks/smell my socks/ eat my face off.’ the hard, deliciously deviant electro at work has shades of Peaches, Kavinsky, even boysnoize but with a treatment all their own. In the album’s second half, the soundscape becomes chillier, looser and odder – and closing track left speaker blown forms a darkly ambient wind-down. this fresh metamorphosis requires your total immersion. AD

www.francoirishliteraryfestival.com

16 METRO HERALD Monday, March 24, 2014

Life television

Screen Talk

a silent killer: savita’s story TV3, 9pm The tragic story of Savita Halappanavar’s death made headlines around the world in November 2012. This documentary, using interviews and reconstructions, takes a look at the events that lead to her death, from the time Savita and her husband Praveen arrived in the maternity ward in Galway hospital. Contributors include key witnesses at the enquiry into Savita’s death, former Master of Holles St hospital Dr Peter Boylan, President of the Federation of Gynecologists in India, Dr Hema Divakar (pictured) and Labour MEP and midwife Phil Prendergast. The programme raises questions relating to Irish maternal care, Catholic ethos, law and the media.

sky teams up with FX for post-watershed laughs

Sky Entertainment and US network FX are linking up in an initiative aimed at producing new post-watershed comedy to be shown here and in the US. It’s a logical move for Sky – they’re already dipping a toe into US talent with former Friends star Matthew Perry (above) starring in Jon ‘The Men Who Stare At Goats’ Ronson’s new comedy, The Dog Thrower, a silent short film co-starring Tim Key and Kimberley Nixon, due out later this year.

Bye bye, kylie, hello Chris

Film oF the day beasts of the southern wilD, TG4, 9.30pm Quvenzhane Wallis, the sixyear-old heroine of this debut by Benh Zeitlin was just nine when she was nominated for best actress Oscar – the youngestever – for her portrayal of Hushpuppy, living with her ailing father Wink (Dwight Henry) in a Louisiana bayou community. The residents are cut off from the rest of the world by a flooding levee caused by melting ice-caps. Quvenzhane, buoyed by her childish imagination, believes the natural world is in balance with the universe until a Katrina-like storm strikes and changes her reality, leading her to set off on a quest to find her mother. This modern fairytale won the Camera d’Or at Cannes and received critical acclaim for its magical realism. If you’re going to watch one movie this week, make it this one.

Kylie is to quit the UK version of The Voice after just one series. The pop star has said filming of the show will clash with tour dates for her new album Kiss Me Once. Minogue will play Dublin’s O2 in November. Meanwhile, over in the US, Coldplay’s Chris Martin is to join NBC’s The Voice as a mentor. Now we didn’t see that one coming...

the Centre rTÉ2, 10pm This brand new sitcom follows the daily grind at St Bartholomew’s community centre in the heart of Fieldstown, a local authority housing estate once voted the third least desirable place to live in Ireland. Tonight, we join new manager Teresa mannion (Helen O’Brien), as her world is turned upside down by the arrival of glamorous murder suspect amanda menton (Sherlock star Yasmine akramp, right with O’Brien). republic of Telly’s Jennifer maguire and Wagons’ Den’s katherine lynch are also among the ensemble cast.

moone Boy SkY 1, 9pm The time has come to bid farewell to David Rawle and Chris O’Dowd as young Martin Moone and his imaginary friend Sean. But hold back the tears – there’s a third series of O’Dowd’s comedy tales in the pipeline. Tonight, Fidelma, Dessie and their imminent bairn head down the aisle on St Patrick’s Day. No room for any unplanned surprises there, then.

Celebrate at the Beeb

shooting BigFoot: ameriCa’s monster hunters BBc4, 9pm Fact or fiction? Up there with the loch ness monster is Bigfoot. In this documentary, Bafta-winning director morgan matthews heads to the US to review recent ‘proof’ that the huge shaggy man-monster lives. He joins guntoting Yeti tracker rick on a camping trip into the Texan backwoods. Who’s pulling whose big scary hairy leg?

Dara Ó Briain is to host All About Two, a 90-minute quiz and celebration to mark 50 years of BBC Two. The Bray native will present the show, part of the line-up for the 50th anniversary celebrations, which also includes Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse’s archive trawl and homage. Meanwhile, over on BBC3, soon to bite the terrestrial dust, is 600 Days, starring stand-up Elis James. The new comedy aims to look at the funny side of being banged up at a young offenders’ Institution, where Ricky Champ – Paul in Him & Her – is one of the prison officers.

Life dear dolly

Dear Anna, we’re very worried about you. As @akacharleswade commented on Twitter last week: ‘Guys, pray for Anna Wintour. She’s voluntarily sitting second row at fashion shows and cavorting with Kim Kardashian. She’s not well.’ Quite. Last year you were promoted to artistic director of Condé Nast, thus signalling a ‘leaning out’ of Vogue USA. This year, you’re sitting in the second row and putting tabloid titbit Kim Kardashian and self-appointed deity Kanye West on the cover of Vogue’s April issue –

My boyfriend seems to have an OCD thing in that he

Party People

In season: Dee Kehoe and Keith Jordan were up to date at the Louise Kennedy Spring Summer 2014 collection launch at 56 Merrion square

deardolly@metroherald.ie

Got a problem? No one else can help? Our resident agony aunt tells it like it is One of my boyfriend’s exes keeps making flirty remarks on his Facebook page. They split up years ago but it’s making me feel weird. She knows he’s going out with me – I’ve even met her a few times – so why would she carry on like that? I don’t know whether to confront or ignore her. CB You probably feel like responding to her flirts with ‘Back up, bitch – he’s mine’. But given that such bolshie, propriety behaviour is something that should only ever happen on the likes of Jeremy Kyle, it’s more becoming to ignore her. If you’re feeling uncomfortable because you’ve an inkling your boyfriend might rise to the bait, then that speaks volumes about your relationship: If you can’t trust him, kick him to the curb. But if your unease is simply because she’s being a predatory cow, then leave her to make a fool of herself in plain sight – no one likes a brazen hussy. If she’s insecure, that’s not your problem. But if it’s you who’s feeling insecure, address it head on.

Monday, March 24, 2014 METRO HERALD

always has a shower after we’ve had sex. It wrecks the buzz for me – I want to cuddle. How can I help him relax? Ciara Cuddle If it’s genuine OCD then there’s little you can do. So how about coaxing him into some light S&M? He won’t be able to leave the bed if he’s tied to it. Although, if he requests a bed bath, it’s time to call time on the relationship.

LAST TiME:

My husband has become a slave to electronic devices. Most evenings the telly will be on while he has one eye on his iPad (sport/games) and the other on his smartphone (car ads). When I try to engage him in conversation

Lidl by Lidl: Martin Crehan and Emma O’Driscoll got stuck in at the launch of the Paul Flynn’s Lidl Family Food Cookbook at Number 10 Ormond Quay

fREE ADvicE fOR…

Anna Wintour

he just grunts and pretends to listen to me. It’s like living with a vegetable or, worse, a teenager. How can I pull him out of his e-torpor? Luddite Lily YOU SAiD: If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Surrender to On Demand and watch your relationship crumble against a backdrop of House Of Cards and The Vampire Diaries. You’ll be too goggle-eyed to notice or care. Jaded Stand behind him, put on your best Scarlett Johansson impression and pretend to be the Samantha operating system from Her. He’ll fall in love with Samantha

two people who have as much to do with high fashion as incontinence pads. Either you’re strategically running Vogue into the ground before you retire, or your power bob has started messing with your head. Please, before you make cover stars of Lindsay Lohan and Katie Price, get yourself a good therapist and avert this mid-life crisis. and ultimately realise it’s you: a real woman. Gareth O’Connor OvER TO YOU:

My new girlfriend came to my flat to surprise me, wearing nothing underneath her coat. Unfortunately I wasn’t there – she ended up flashing my dad who was fixing the leaky tap. She’s so upset she’s making excuses not to come to my cousin’s wedding in case the whole family hears what happened. How can I get her to laugh it off? Lucky Man What do you think? Lend Dolly your words of wisdom on our Facebook page or at deardolly@metroherald.ie. Best replies published next week...

Out and about in Dublin Good cause: Morah Ryan was pretty in pink at The Chernobyl Children International charity lunch at Fire Restaurant

Pictures: KieraN HarNett/sasKO LazarOv/BriaN McevOy/LeON /LeON N FarreLL

Absolut-ly: Moe Coakley and Emily Aoibheann were bright lights at The Absolut Offset 2014 party at Lost Society

A design for life: Barry McCall joined fashion designer Liz Quin at the launch of her inaugural collection at BT2

18 METRO HERALD Monday, March 24, 2014

puzzles

METROSCOPE by Patrick Arundell

NEMI by Lise

Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20

You may find yourself more intense about career hopes, or find someone from a different age group impacts on your senses. A desire to nurture your prospects needs to be balanced against the dislike of having your style cramped by demands. For your forecast, call 15609 114 70

Taurus Apr 21 – May 21

What you perceive to be “the truth” may not be the same as others’ view of a situation. But if you feel somebody is failing to “fess up”, then it can make you all the more determined to winkle out of them a confession. For your forecast, call 15609 114 71

METROKU Easy, Moderate and Challenging. For solutions, visit Metro.co.uk/metroku

Gemini May 22 – Jun 21

If you’re in any sharing situation, you need to feel there is a good balance between what you put in and what you get out. This doesn’t necessarily have to be absolutely financial, more that there’s a general spirit of giveand-take. For your forecast, call 15609 114 72

Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 23

Keeping a balance between your desire for harmony and dealing with choppiness that seems to affect much of life these days, in terms of how we link with others, may be tested today. Then again, perhaps it is you who is feeling changeable. For your forecast, call 15609 114 73

Leo Jul 24 – Aug 23

If you’re feeling unsure how to handle a situation where someone seems to expect you to support them, why not think about talking it through with a person who is less personally engaged by it.

PEARLs BEFORE swINE

For your forecast, call 15609 114 74

Virgo Aug 24 – Sep 23

Sometimes the things we desire the most are the things that can cause the most pain. Your romantic aspirations could be a point in case. There may be one person who seems to be spellbinding, but whether they would make a suitable partner, is a different matter. For your forecast, call 15609 114 75

Libra Sep 24 – Oct 23

Mars is helping you to be more strident, and you may have surprised a few people by how direct you’ve been. This probably doesn’t disguise the fact that at the root of your emotions, the turbulence is requiring management. For your forecast, call 15609 114 76

scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 22

Are our opinions always an authentic take on how we feel? It depends who we’re talking to, how much we trust them, and how interested they are in our situation. If you do want to vent, do so in a way which is genuine. For your forecast, call 15609 114 77

sagittarius Nov 23 – Dec 21

A wave of compulsive desire can sweep over you. This period has seen your willpower at key moments plunging to new lows. Despite this, you may have started to resist. Can you today? For your forecast, call 15609 114 78

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 20

Your hopes and desires, particularly at an emotional or homely level, are certain to be piqued this week by planetary energies. Yet, you may feel that one person or dynamic represents a major obstacle to your hopes. For your forecast, call 15609 114 79

Aquarius Jan 21 – Feb 19

It’s possible that something which has been bubbling away in your subconscious keeps trying to grab your attention. It could be having an impact on your health and on your sense of security. For your forecast, call 15609 114 80

Pisces Feb 20 – Mar 20

Are you listening too much to what others say? Is someone having an undue influence on you? Has very subtly, this become about you keeping them happy, rather than you keeping you happy? For your forecast, call 15609 114 81

Crossword No. 939 See next edition for solutions Scales (6) Adhesive (6) Refractoriness (13) Merciful (7) Correct (5) Started (5) Ladder (5) Grown-up (5) Blow up (7) Thought (13) Constant (6) Rested (6)

DOWN

1 2 3 5 6 7 8 13 15 16 17 20

Coagulate (6) Unimportance (13) Protuberance (5) Plague (7) Pondering (13) Cedes (6) Merriment (5) Not tested (7) Cuts open (6) Collier (5) Wrote (6) Signal light (5)

Yesterday’s Solutions Across: 1 Environment; 9 Eminent; 10 Rogue; 11 Exert; 12 Congeal; 13 Burial; 15 Critic; 18 Augment; 20 Charm; 22 Comma; 23 Britain; 24 Antecedents. Down: 2 Noise; 3 Inertia; 4 Optics; 5 Moron; 6 Neglect; 7 Resemblance; 8 Replacement; 14 Regimen; 16 Receive; 17 Stable; 19 Evade; 21 Adapt.

ENIGMA What can this Japanese word mean? Unfermented soya-bean Curd, it is a kind of food, Cheese-like, meant to do you good. WHO AM I? A singer, I was born in London in 1978 with the surname Obika. I came third in the TV series Fame Academy. I won a Brit for Best British Urban Act in 2006.

WHO, WHAT, WHERE & WHEN? WHO… was the Irishman who was the first to prove the Greenhouse Effect in the 19th century? WHAT... sort of creature is a bluetongue? WHERE... is Doi Inthanon the highest mountain? WHEN... was the Fieschi Plot, whose intended victim was Louis Philippe of France?

SCRIBBLE BOX

1 4 9 10 11 12 14 18 19 21 22 23

QuIz

ACROSS

Astrology calls cost 1.27 euros per min from a BT landline. Live Services cost 2.40 euros per minute. Calls from mobiles/other networks may cost more. Callers must be 18 or over to use this service and have the bill payers permission. For entertainment purposes only. All calls are recorded. PhonePayPlus regulated (ComReg in ROI) UK SP: StreamLive Ltd, NR7 0HR, 08700 234 567. ROI SP:Moveda, 1 Courtyard Business Park, Orchard Lane, Blackrock, Co Dublin, 0818 241 398

QUIZ ANSWERS: ENIGMA: Tofu. WHO AM I? Lemar. WHO, WHAT, WHERE & WHEN? John Tyndall; A lizard; Thailand; 1835.

QUICK CROsswORd

For a live one-to-one consultation with one of my gifted psychics, call 15809 113 68 or 1800 719 688 to book using credit card

Monday, March 24, 2014 METRO HERALD

Jobs&Courses Be quick off the block to inspire a new team

news@metroherald.ie to advertise, call 01 7055010

The First 90 Days: how to make an earlyy impact as an executivee or manager eaded and avoid the dreaded ome imposter syndrome by Jane Downes

he Imposter Syndrome is more common than you would believe among executives these days. The role of the ‘enforcer’ in today’s economy is incredibly onerous. And the problem is made ten times worse by the silly cultural pressure never to show weakness or uncertainty. Yuck. That said, a new leader’s success or failure is determined within the first 90 days on the job. Remember your task in your new role is not to play Superman; it is to be a transformative figure in the company. The way you do this is to show up as someone who constantly monitors his own and others ‘performance’. Someone who is fearless when it comes to questioning practices and structures that are holding the company back. Sometimes putting internal systems change on the agenda can be the single most important early contribution of a dynamic senior manager who has inherited a large unit. That’s the first part. The second part is to start visualising the kind of person who would meet your ideal of a brilliant senior manager.

‘Start visualising your ideal of a senior manager’ how would he make decisions? how would he enforce them? how would he manage time? how would he prioritise? What would his personal style be? how would he exert control without losing empathy or creating them (Walter V. Clarke Associates, 1997). unnecessary tension? In the past 100 years IQ and IQ testing have Get to know this person. Intimately. And then start imitating him. Shamelessly. Act his dominated society’s view of human potential. part, down to the very last detail. If you work however, research proves that only one per on this the results in this domain will astonish cent of success is down to IQ whereas 26 per you and most likely set you up to win. Re- cent is down to how competent we are with member, as a leader regular pit stops to assess our emotional skills. Some leaders appear to have high levels of your performance are important and to tease competence in some of these activities but fail out issues as they are arising. It would be remiss of me when discussing because of shortcomings in other activities. those soft skills needed to make an effective leader or manager, not to bring our emotional Intelligence into the equation. After all, you may be as sharp as a tack but if you cannot convey that to others you might be in trouble. Our emotional Intelligence is our ability to handle oneself, others and what happens around us. A study of 130 executives found Lincoln House, Lincoln Place, D2 that how well people handled http://dublin.cervantes.es their own emoTel: (01) 631 15 00 tions determined how much people around them preferred to deal with

People skills: Communication is key to getting staff to buy in to your managerial style Picture: thinkstock

For example, a leader may be tough and driven to accomplish goals and sales targets (process driven), however, may lack the people skills to communicate the desired goals and fail to get sustainable ‘leadership buy-in’ (people driven). We know that self-regard is the cornerstone of being an effective leader; without this we will hit more than our fair share of road bumps and second guess ourself.

We also know that as a leader you need to like what you are doing and sense that you are on the right track. This will give energy to the task ahead. Afterall, it can be lonely at the top. Career coach Jane Downes is the author of The Career Book (thecareerbook.ie) and principal coach of Clearview Coaching Group, clearviewcoachgroup.com.

Dorset College www.dorset-college.ie Excellence Through Life-Long Learning

Computers & IT Oracle Professional, JAVA SE 7 Programmer CompTIA A+ / IT Essentials-PC Hardware & Software CISCO CCNA ® - Cisco Certified Network Associate ECDL-European Computer Driving Licence

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Business, Management & HR CIPD Certificate in Human Resource Management Supervisory Management & Leadership) Level 6

Healthcare & Childcare Education Healthcare & Childcare Education Healthcare Support Level 5 Nursing Studies Level 5 Montessori & ECCE Level 6 Special Needs Assisting Level 5 & 6 Counselling & Psychotherapy

www.dorset-college.ie

Tel: 01 830 9677

20 METRO HERALD Monday, March 24, 2014

rugby rabo pro 12

Vital bonus point win for Leinster piCture: inpho

Cool hand Luke: Fitzgerald impressed against Zebre, just in time for the big clash with Munster piCture: inpho

FiTzgERALD DispLAy A big pLUs FOR LEinsTER TEAM As FAns Lick THEiR Lips AHEAD OF MUnsTER VisiT ThERE’S something resilient about this leinster team under Matt o’Connor – it’s not quite the flash operation under Joe Schmidt but it’s getting the job done. Six bonus-point wins in a row is exceptional form and even with 20minutes left against Zebre in an ugly affair you knew they would get the job done. it was hugely pleasing to see luke Futzgerald grab his brace of tries. This season has promised so much for him in terms of getting his international career back on track and his abdominal injury couldn’t have come at a worse time as he was in flying form ahead of the Six nations. But on Friday might he showed just how influential he can be as a match winner with his piercing runs and dead eye finishing. Munster could have used some sharpness in front of the try line themselves against Treviso and this weekend at the Aviva Fitzgerald’s cutting edge could prove the difference. it will have nagged at head coach Matt o’Connor that he could not ingratiate himself to leinster fans with a win over their fiercest rivals first time around at the end of September. o’Connor of course threw himself into the derby rivalry

with northampton when he was at leicester and all signs are he views Munster in the same light. A win this weekend will be huge ahead of the trip to Toulon, and despite leinster’s home advantage, expect Munster to bring intensity. Despite ireland’s success in the Six nations, those in the south have preferred to feel slighted by the lack of Munster players in Schmidt’s team rather than celebrate a rare national achievement. next year’s Munster coach Antony Foley has not been afraid to voice the discontent from the south and every player in red will be in a mission to show the irish management team that they cannot be ignored when it comes to selection. Expect this to be as feisty a derby as we’ve seen in years and those in blue will need cool heads in the face of visiting aggression. Again, the Brian o’Driscoll factor will come into play as this will figure as his last game against one of his favourite opponents and possibly his last at lansdowne Road unless leinster prevail in Toulon to return for the heineken Cup semi-final. And their possible opponents? Munster. This game sounds like a cracker already and the best thing is it might only be round one.

Honoured: Fr Peter McVerry and Brian O’Driscoll receive their awards

O’Driscoll given freedom of the city RUGBY hero Brian O’Driscoll could be grazing sheep on Dublin’s common ground thanks to new privileges he received on Saturday. At a ceremony in the Mansion House, O’Driscoll and social justice campaigner Fr Peter McVerry were given the Freedom of the City of Dublin where they received an illuminated scroll and a granite and cut glass sculpture. As part of the accolade they also gained some unique entitlements, including the right to bring goods into Dublin through the city gates

without paying customs duties and vote in municipal and parliamentary elections. Lord Mayor Oisín Quinn said the two men also had to be prepared to defend the city at a moment’s notice and to be armed with a light metal helmet and a bow made of yew and a sword as part of their duties. O’Driscoll said the honour was more a recognition of the teams he had been involved with than him as an individual. He added that he felt particularly honoured to be recognised by his native city.

by DAnny HOgAn

SECURING the bonus point against Zebre was the main focus for Leinster head coach Matt O’Connor after a tough game that few fans will remember as a classic. The Italian outfit proved hard to break down at the RDS on Friday, with the home side taking a fragile 80 lead into the break thanks to a Noel Reid try and an Ian Madigan penalty. Leinster’s dominance eventually shone through in the second-half, with an on-form Luke Fitzgerald going over twice before Jordi Murphy added another try just before full-time to secure what may prove to be a valuable bonus point. The 27-0 victory keeps Leinster on top of the RaboDirect PRO12 table and the extra point could prove critical with just five regular season games remaining. ‘The five points were important,’ O’Connor (pictured) said. It was very stop-start, we struggled to get momentum at times in the game and there was an interesting interpretation of the scrum,’ he said. ‘We had enough ball, but we didn’t get it at the pace that we needed it. We finished strongly though and got the four tries, took the points and nobody was injured, so those are the positives. ‘The five points are invaluable. It’s season-defining stuff in the next few weeks and everyone’s focused on what’s ahead’

Connacht on fire with win over Dragons John Muldoon scored two tries as Connacht beat newport Gwent Dragons 24-8 at Rodney Parade in the RaboDirect Pro12. All Connacht’s tries came from forwards, with prop Rodney Ah You and replacement lock Mike Swift adding to Muldoon’s tries while fly-half Dan

Parks kicked two conversions. Tom Pyrdie went over for the Dragons’ only try with ten minutes to go, adding to an early Jason Tovey penalty. Dragons drew first blood when Tovey landed a penalty and then just missed with another from half-way.

Yet that was to be the first and last time the home side were in front. Muldoon’s second touchdown, from a driving lineout on the right, put Connacht 16 points clear with 13minutes left. Then Swift went over for the bonus point score with seconds left.

Two tries: Muldoon

Ulster stay on track Felix was ‘rock solid’ PADDY Jackson kicked all the points as Ulster ground out a 9-3 victory over Edinburgh at Murrayfield to move into second place in the RaboDirect PRO12 above Munster, albeit for just one night.

Edinburgh impressed in spells but their indiscipline was their undoing, ensuring their run of four wins in five came to a halt – head coach Alan Solomons seeing his former side get one over his current outfit.

BillY holland believes Munster’s Felix Jones was worthy of his man of the match award after the fullback helped marshal the team to a hard-fought RaboDirect PRo12 victory over Benetton Treviso. in difficult weather conditions at Thomond Park on Saturday, Munster were given a tough test by the italians before prevailing 14-3. holland told Munster’s website: ‘Felix Jones had a superb game, under the high ball he was rock solid.’

hurling allianz nhl

Monday, March 24, 2014 METRO HERALD

spORT DigEsT Murray eases into Sony fourth round

Tipp top: Conal Keaney of Dublin tries to stop Tipperary’s Michael Cahill during their clash in Thurles yesterday. Despite a solid display, Dublin’s narrow loss means they face a relegation play-off piCture: inpho

TEnnis Defending champion Andy Murray eased into the fourth round of the Sony Open in Miami with a straight-sets win over Spain’s Feliciano Lopez. Murray extended his perfect record against Lopez to 9-0 with a 6-4 6-1 victory in 73 minutes to set up a clash with France’s Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, who recovered from 5-1 down in a second set tie-break to beat Marcos Baghdatis in three sets. There was a moment of concern early on when the Scot grabbed his lower back in pain after dumping a forehand into the net, but he did not appear to be physically hampered and Lopez, himself moving uncomfortably, never threatened.

Sky’s Swift third in Milan-San Remo

Dubs facing relegation play-off after Tipp loss Dublin lost another important battle in their bid to avoid relegation back to Division 1b of the Allianz Hurling league – but the overall war is far from over. Anthony Daly’s side led by six at one stage in Thurles only to slip to a three-point loss to Tipp that had major implications for both teams. The result ensured that Tipp, who started the day on the bottom of the table, secured a quarter-final place and instead consigned Dublin to a relegation play-off. but the fact that Dublin have to play Waterford in that tie next weekend will give them heart, despite a defeat to the Deise in the

TIPPERARy.......................1-19 DUBLIN...........................0-19 by pAuL kEAnE regular series of games. Derek McGrath’s Waterford slipped to a morale crushing 4-22 to 0-14 loss to Kilkenny yesterday and were completely overwhelmed in the second-half when they leaked 3-15 and scored just 0-6. it’s their second straight heavy defeat, having lost by 13 to Clare, and they’ve now leaked 9-40 in two games. A date and venue has yet to be

confirmed for the relegation final but Dublin will fancy their chances after giving a competitive display in Thurles. Dublin led by 0-10 to 0-9 at halftime in front of 4,700 and the onepoint gap remained despite Patrick Maher’s 47th minute goal for Tipp. The sides were level twice before Tipp moved three ahead, 1-15 to 015. Seamus Callanan fired 11 points in total for Tipp who managed to keep that three-point gap in place at full-time while Alan McCrabbe shot ten for Dublin. Waterford manager Derek Mc-

Grath admitted that playing Dublin next weekend will be intimidating. ‘i went up to Dublin to watch them play Kilkenny and they were outstanding that night, absolutely outstanding,’ said McGrath. ‘Obviously the motivation will rest with them because we put one over them the last time we played, so that element will be huge too. but this is the reality we find ourselves in. ‘You go to Paddy Power and there’s no doubt we’ll be 3/1 or 4/1 to win the match, particularly given the beatings we’ve had over the last two weeks.’

Cats blast Waterford to secure quarter-final place

Opening goal: Kelly

Rookies Mark kelly and Jonjo Farrell shot three goals between them to ensure holders kilkenny’s place in the Allianz Hurling League quarter-finals. The Cats cruised to a 4-22 to 0-14 win over neighbours Waterford, though it was only in the second-half when they got going. The Cats led by just 1-7 to 0-8 at half-time in front of 8,883, thanks mainly to Farrell’s 20th minute goal. But a 3-15 scoring blitz after the

break that yielded goals from eoin Larkin and full-forward kelly in a 13-minute spell killed off Waterford. kilkenny’s reward for three wins in their five Division 1A games is a quarter-final clash with Wexford next weekend. And Galway and Clare both advanced too, despite their 0-18 to 1-15 stalemate in ennis. A last-gasp free conversion by Colin Ryan earned 14-man Clare a share of the spoils. The All-ireland champions will

now face Laois in the knock-out stages. As for Galway, they play Limerick and will be annoyed not to progress on the back of a win over their local rivals. They led by 0-9 to 0-8 at halftime and the one-point margin was still in place until Ryan’s late free. Meanwhile, Tipperary will play Cork in the remaining quarter-final. Cork were promoted to Division 1A yesterday after beating Wexford 2-24 to 1-20.

cycLing Team Sky rider Ben Swift claimed a top three finish in Milan-San Remo after a sprint finish saw Mark Cavendish fade to fifth. British racer Swift held on to third place behind Norway’s Alexander Kristoff (Katusha) and Fabian Cancellara (Trek Factory Racing) after a gruelling 294kilometre marathon in cold and wet conditions.

McCrystle wins in Carlow-Kilkenny cycLing Bryan

McCrystle, ex-pro with Leeds Utd, stole all the limelight yesterday with a win in the Des Hanlon Memorial in Carlow-Kilkenny, writes David Thomas. McCrystle (pictured), a team member of Aqua Blue, is a late convert to cycling, yet he showed all the skills of a veteran cyclist, soloing home to victory in Carlow town after 150kms of racing that was run off in a record time considering the toughness of the course. He was at the head of affairs in a group of ten shortly after the start. As the group of ten headed out on the last lap, the pace was beginning to take its toll as one by one the group was being diminished because of McCrystle’s dominance. Paudi O’Brien of Osborne Meats/The Edge Sports finished second, whilst Ryan Sherlock also made the podium, both only making headway in the last 30kms of the race.

Shaw 16th in NZ

TRiATHLOn Benjamin Shaw finished in an impressive 16th place in the New Plymouth World Cup in New Zealand. Spaniard Mario Mola made it back-to-back wins in this season’s International Triathlon Union (ITU) World Cup series with victory, following on from his win in Mooloolaba, Australia, last week. Shaw’s compatriot Conor Murphy finished 35th. The women’s race saw America’s Katie Hursey claim her third World Cup title.

22 METRO HERALD Monday, March 24, 2014

football premier league

Title rivals share same goals Rampant: Schurrle celebrates Chelsea’s second in the 20 win over Arsenal

Yet Mour misery for out-thought Arsene CHELsEa’s 6-0 walloping of arsenal equalled the Gunners’ largest Premier League losing margin – 82 at Manchester United in 2011. arsenal have let in 17 goals in their last three 12.45pm kickoffs. The stamford Bridge win extends Jose Mourinho’s unbeaten record over arsene Wenger to 11 games.

47 Goals in 30 matches for

Liverpool’s Luis Suarez-Daniel Sturridge partnership. If they continue at that rate they’ll finish with 12 or 13 more goals, for a recordbreaking total of 60. Only two Premier League strike partnerships are ahead of SAS: Newcastle’s Peter Beardsley and Andy Cole – 55 goals in 1993-94, followed by Alan Shearer

42 Goals in ten Premier League games over the weekend – one shy of the record for a 20-team top-flight campaign in the modern era, set in 2011 results aston Villa................... 1 Chelsea ....................... 6 Cardiff ..........................3 Everton ........................3 Hull...............................2 Man City ......................5 Newcastle.................... 1 Norwich.......................2 Tottenham...................3 West Ham .................. 0

How the title race went goal crazy

stoke .........................4 arsenal..................... 0 Liverpool...................6 swansea....................2 West Brom .............. 0 Fulham..................... 0 Crystal Palace .......... 0 sunderland.............. 0 southampton ...........2 Man United ..............2

With the top three registering an incredible 17 goals between them on saturday, the title race has gone into overdrive. James Boylan takes a look at the numbers behind one of the most enthralling run-ins in Premier League history.

sAs are red hot

and Chris Sutton’s 49 for Blackburn in 1994-95.

28 Goals for Suarez after 30 games. Andy Cole had 27 at this stage in 9394 when he ended up with 34.

82 Goals for Liverpool at 2.73 goalsper-game – also a record in the Premier League era at the 30-game mark.

sky blue dinking Manchester City’s 5-0 thumping of Fulham took their season’s tally to 76 after 28 games – the second highest in Premier League history behind Liverpool’s current 30-game mark. Yaya Toure, left, hit a hat-trick to take him to 16 league goals for the season – from midfield.

super saturday

by DAvE fiLMER

one is playing coy, the other bullish, but Brendan Rodgers and yaya Toure both have the title on their mind after the weekend’s extraordinary goal frenzy. Liverpool fans are daring to dream heading into Wednesday’s visit of struggling Sunderland, when victory would take the Reds to within a point of leaders Chelsea with seven games to play. While Rodgers continually plays down his team’s title prospects, they are very much in the hunt and he can understand supporters’ mounting excitement. ‘We are focusing on the immediate future,’ said the Reds boss after the 6-3 spanking of Cardiff which featured Luis Suarez’s sixth hat-trick for the club. ‘The fans can believe and dream, and when you come to see your team play away from home and they score six goals, you’ve every right to do that. ‘I’ve got to say I am really looking forward to the Sunderland game. It feels like we haven’t played at home for ages. anfield is a special place to play football, so for us it’s about the immediate future.’

‘When you score six away you’re allowed to dream’ Toure, meanwhile, who scored a hattrick in Manchester City’s five-goal drubbing of Fulham, is more forthright in talking title ambitions. ‘I came to the club to make history,’ said the midfielder. ‘I think the club and the fans need trophies, need history and need great players to come here and try to make this club great. ‘We have the team, we have the players, we have the manager. I hope at the end of the season we lift this trophy for these fans.’ events at Stamford Bridge, where Chelsea embarrassed arsenal 6-0 in arsene Wenger’s 1,000th game, underlined the Blues’ own title credentials and surely knocked the Gunners out of the race. a delighted Jose Mourinho summed up the Blues’ mood. ‘The first ten minutes were magnificent,’ he said. ‘We smashed them.’

United Beck in form for derby clash, says Roo Star turn: Rooney scores his wonder goal at Upton Park

Wayne Rooney has warned Manchester City to expect a United side full of renewed confidence when they lock horns in tomorrow’s derby. Manager David Moyes has endured a difficult start to life at old Trafford, with United seventh in the Premier League, but there are signs of improvement. United progressed to the Champions League quarter-finals last Wednesday and followed that up with a dominant 2-0 victory at West Ham. next up is a home clash with City and the chance to derail their title challenge. ‘This was a good result going into the derby so we’re looking forward to an exciting game and hopefully we’ll

get a good result,’ Rooney said. With Robin van Persie facing up to six weeks out, United could do with another man-of-the-match display from Rooney tomorrow. The 28-year-old netted a brace but it was his first goal that will live long in the memory as he sent the ball sailing over goalkeeper adrian from 58 yards. Rooney’s effort was reminiscent of David Beckham’s 1996 wonder strike and, rather aptly, the former United midfielder was in the stands watching. Rooney was also quick to praise the support of Juan Mata and Shinji Kagawa. ‘The two of them were causing West Ham problems,’ he said.

LOngRAngEkings

58 Yard goal from Rooney – a yard more than Beckham’s for United v Wimbledon in 1996

102 Yard goal from Everton

goalie Tim Howard v Bolton in 2012 – the longest distance goal in 22 years in the Premier League

6 Premier League players to

score from own half: Beckham, Maynor Figueroa, Xabi Alonso, Paul Robinson, Asmir Begovic and Howard

football

Monday, March 24, 2014 METRO HERALD 23

Europe has cost us this season, says Sherwood pREMiER LEAguE tottenhaM...........................3 southaMpton.....................2 by gAvin bROwn TOTTENHAM’s Europa League exertions have adversely affected their season, according to manager Tim Sherwood. Spurs crashed out of Europe to Benfica on Thursday and yesterday looked almost certain to make it five games without a win after falling 2-0 behind against the Saints Southampton with less than half-an-hour on the clock. But goals either side of the break from Christian Eriksen cancelled out strikes from Jay Rodriguez and Adam Lallana, before Gylfi Sigurdsson fired a stoppage-time winner to move Sherwood’s men back into fifth place. ‘Against a good side like Southampton, you’re going to get punished and 2-0 down I was dreading coming to the press conference, chaps, I have to tell you,’ Sherwood said. ‘I wanted to play a high-tempo game and press them high up the field and I didn’t think we had the energy to do it,’ Sherwood added. ‘I think the European games take their toll. We always seem to finish very well but we don’t start the games very well.’ Eriksen revealed a half-time ‘speech’ buoyed the players and Sherwood admitted afterwards he had to use a few expletive words to gee his side up. ‘It wasn’t pretty,’ Sherwood said. ‘It wasn’t ranting and raving, it was considered and it was measured.’ ‘It was a massive, massive win for us,’ Sherwood said. ‘It takes real guts, character and spirit to do that. ‘We are going to try and accumulate as many points as we can. I think we are a point behind where we were last year [at this stage] and we pushed Arsenal really close so who knows what could happen. It is squeaky bum time.’ After the game, Southampton boss Mauricio Pochettino complained about the performance of referee Anthony Taylor, saying: ‘Their first goal came from a clear foul on Dejan Lovren so that should not have been allowed to stand.’

Wenger: Arsenal must kick Blues immediately

Arsene Wenger maintains the best way Arsenal can respond after their 6-0 thrashing at Chelsea is to beat swansea tomorrow. The gunners boss endured a 1,000th match in charge to forget as the rampant Blues scored three goals inside the first 17 minutes, after which the visitors played with ten men following defender Kieran gibbs’ red card in a case of mistaken identity. Chelsea scored a further three goals as Arsenal capitulated at stamford Bridge, but Wenger believes the ideal way to exorcise those demons is with a strong display in the home Premier League match with the swans. ‘What is important is to give a response on Tuesday night and that is it. I don’t believe it is the time to talk too much about [what went wrong],’ he said. ‘We can win the next game, so that is what we have to focus on now.’

Bruce: Forget the cup, it is all safety first

Final say: Gylfi Sigurdsson fires home tottenham’s winner in stoppage time at White Hart Lane

piCtuRe: ReuteRs

Crouch on cloud nine as Stoke strike Stoke striker Peter Crouch was delighted to get on the scoresheet with his ninth goal of the season in the win at Aston Villa and believes his side are improving. the Potters moved into the top half of the Premier League table with victory at Villa Park yesterday. Christian Benteke gave the home side the lead early on but goals from Peter odemwingie, Crouch

aston villa .................................. 1 stoke...............................................4 (pictured), Steven Nzonzi and Geoff Cameron saw Stoke triumph. Man-of-thematch Crouch said: ‘At the start of the season we might have collapsed but we showed we’ve definitely improved.’

MiDFielDeR liam Bridcutt is adamant sunderland are up for the fight, despite saturday’s 2-0 slump at norwich. Goals from Robert snodgrass and alexander tettey sealed victory for the Canaries, while Marcos alonso was sent off late on to compound a poor day for Gus poyet’s side. Bridcutt (left) said: ‘it turned out to be tougher than we expected. But we need to be ready to fight and stick together. We have to forget this result and move on and be Hangeland: Determined ready for liverpool on Wednesday.’

premier leagUe taBle

fOOTbALL DigEST

Bridcutt: Black Cats battle on

STEVE BRUCE wants his Hull team to ensure their Premier League survival as quickly as possible following their vital 2-0 win over West Brom. Goals from Liam Rosenior and Shane Long saw Hull to victory at the KC Stadium on Saturday. And by Bruce’s mathematics that leaves his men in search of one more win – which could come on Wednesday night at West Ham – to virtually guarantee survival. Next month’s FA Cup semi-final against Sheffield United at Wembley is a tantalising prospect for players and fans alike, but everyone at Hull insists the league remains the priority for now. Bruce (pictured) said: ‘The one thing we need to do now is see it through and make sure we stay in this division. The odds were stacked against us. ‘We have got to make sure we are here for two, three, four, five years and stay as a Premier League club. That’s the aim but it’s difficult, but at the moment we’re doing okay.’

Unhappy Brede backing Fulham to beat the drop BReDe hanGelanD believes Fulham can still beat relegation despite their 5-0 hammering at Manchester City. title-chasing City brushed aside the rock-bottom Cottagers as they took full advantage of Fernando amorebieta’s sending-off. But skipper hangeland said: ‘obviously you are low when you get beat 50. But what can you do? You have to pick yourselves up. it is still do-able and there is a belief we can do it.’

Chelsea liverpool Man City arsenal spurs everton Man utd newcastle southampton stoke aston villa hull norwich West ham swansea West Brom Crystal palace sunderland Cardiff Fulham

P 31 30 28 30 31 29 30 30 31 31 30 30 31 30 30 30 30 28 31 31

W 21 20 20 19 17 15 15 14 12 9 9 9 8 8 7 5 8 6 6 7

D 6 5 3 5 5 9 6 4 9 10 7 6 8 7 8 13 4 7 7 3

L 4 5 5 6 9 5 9 12 10 12 14 15 15 15 15 12 18 15 18 21

Nightmare day: Wenger

F 62 82 76 53 40 43 48 38 45 36 33 32 26 32 40 33 19 26 26 30

A 23 38 27 34 40 30 34 40 40 45 42 37 48 40 46 45 39 44 58 70

Pts 69 65 63 62 56 54 51 46 45 37 34 33 32 31 29 28 28 25 25 24

Monday, March 24, 2014

Dinner only 2 minutes away.

Pick up a FREE pack of Uncle Ben’s® Express Rice this week! When: From 5pm to 7pm. Tuesday 25th March, Thursday 27th March and Friday 28th March. Where: Sandyford Luas Station, Dame Street, Stephen’s Green, Connolly Station, Pearse St. Station, Tara St. Station, and Bachelor’s Walk (O’Connell Bridge).

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