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02

05.06.09-05.12.09

THE BOHEMIAN

Performances09

Enrich. Educate. Entertain. Connecting our Community through the Arts

A Night of May 15

Join soprano Jamie Thomas and mezzo-soprano Amalia Dobbins in a program of opera’s most beloved arias and duets

Pre-show discussion at 7pm

$

New Show Spotlights

Subscribe Online Today

wellsfargocenterarts.org

Find us on

Facebook!

For tickets call 707.546.3600 (noon-6pm Tue-Sat) Online wellsfargocenterarts.org Hwy 101 to River Road, Santa Rosa Your Community Non-Profit Arts Center for 27 years • Wells Fargo Center for the Arts gratefully acknowledges generous support from

WFCA_BOH_2-3_050609.indd 1

5/1/09 10:17:54 AM

Stop by in the month of

May

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THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

03

26TH ANNIVERSARY

STORE WIDE SALE: MAY 1st - 31st

SPECIAL

May 14th

BIKE TO WORK DAY! UP BN Energizer Station Free french pressed coffee, food (fresh cinnamon rolls!) & bicycle maintenance Sonoma County’s NEWEST Energize Station is near the future SMART Station in the heart of Historic Railroad Square!

UP QN Bike Home From Work

Celebration!

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04

05.06.09-05.12.09

THE BOHEMIAN

$100

OFF

START-UP FEE exp 5/15/09

Coaches Corner

Free Weights • State of the Art Equipment • Group Exercise • Yoga Spinning • Personal Training • Massage Contemporary Line Dance (NEW) S2 Virtual Reality Bikes • Peak Pilates Reformer

Come check out our awesome new Zumba classes!

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THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.13.09

05

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To Tom Mariani (Open Mic, “Words Fail,� April 22): Quit your whining. We spend way too much money on the prison system for all the “innocents� serving time. You’ve got two strikes by accident? Why spend more money on lifetime losers and less on the real innocents, the children? You did the crime, and you shall forever pay the time. Whether or not you get a job is your problem, not mine. If memory serves me right, we spent about $45,000 a year on you and maybe $5,000 a year on students. Don’t you think enough has been wasted on you? Let’s just forget about this generation that screwed up and put the money into education. Get rid of the teacher’s union, hire only teachers who want to work and pay them more than the prison guards. If we spend more on educating children, we’ll spend less on “rehabbing� felons like you. Have you looked at the tuition for a junior college? Pretty cheap. But you, like most other “innocents� and falsely convicted felons, took the easy route. Too bad. I think you owe me $495,000 for the time you spent in jail. When I see that check, I’ll think about rehab in jail.

The crash of 312 South A Street’s artists and gallery (Blast, “End of A Street?,� April 1) was indeed a blow to the finer growth within Santa Rosa. The hope is to return, reengage, continue where we left off. We certainly are capable of our individual pursuit, yet the beauty of our togetherness equaled more than the sum of our acts—it worked quantumfold! There was nothing like this unique group of artists to bring about beneficial social reshaping within our neck of civilization. In our time together, we spanned outward into the community in novel, healthy ways that will not be forgotten, and it continues ever outward. I miss this group I was privileged to be part of. I grew from our shared endeavors. To have been a part of this history has been an honor. May we all continue to give and receive and never forget this time in our lives where we worked together and participated in creating the concept and practice of the amalgamation of talents. With heartfelt warmth to my friends and hope that our ideas continue.

Your article “Grapes and Class Warfare� (April 29) seems a bit inaccurate. While the writer bemoans the injustice of the migrants and their average salary of $9 an hour working in the grape fields, the article seems to neglect the various taxpayer-funded social services available to these workers that are not available to the average working citizen. In Napa County, there are special farmworker homes and special reduced-rate rents available. There are also low-cost health clinics that cater to the low-income, non-English-speaking population. Contrast this to a single mother who has been a U.S. citizen her entire life, working at a big-box retailer for the same pay, and the inequities begin to show. We have record high unemployment in California. Maybe the incentive to hire illegal, underthe-table workers should be taken away?

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06

05.06.09-05.12.09

THE BOHEMIAN

THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

07

Locally owned and operated since 1949

LE T TE E VA X

DE SI GN YO UR KI TC HE N & BATH

CA BI N ET S CO UN TE RT O PS SH O W ER S

Shop Local

Buy Local

TeeVax is your local Brand Source dealer in Sonoma County offering low prices on name brand appliances, countertops and cabinets. Since 1949 the Monague family and loyal staff have been here to help make your life a little easier. Stop by today to see why your neighbor most likely purchased their cabinets, countertop or appliance from TeeVax Home Appliance & Kitchen Center. Inglis by

24” Built In Dishwasher

Front Load Washer

• Stainless steel tub • Quick wash option • Quiet 57 DBA • Energy Star qualified • Limited white & black only Sale $499.95 Stainless steel mail-in PG&E rebate $50.00 front $100 extra $ 95 Model #SHE4AM02UC Net After Rebate

Sale $699.95 PG&E/water mail-in rebates $200.00 $ 95 Model #GLTF2940FS Net After Rebate

499

449

Self clean Fast pre-heat Hidden bake element Heavy duty racks Limited stainless only

Model #HBL5035AUC

49995

$

Model #IT18DKXSQ

Freezer on Bottom • 22 cu.ft. capacity • Side swing doors • Adj glass shelves • Similar to picture • Limited white only

• Large 3.4 cu.ft. capacity • 1050 RPM spin speed • Energy Star model • Stack dryer optional

699

$

• Adjustable wire shelves • Large crisper • Deli tray • Optional ice maker • Limited white only

Front Load Washer

30” Electric Oven • • • • •

18 cu.ft. Refridgerator

• Large 3.5 cu.ft. capacity • 1050 RPM spin speed • Extra rinse & spin option • Optional 15” pedistal

95

Sale $699.95 PG&E/Water mail-in rebate $200.00 $ 95 Model #WFW8300SW Net After Rebates

499

French Door Refrigerator

30” Double Oven • Both oven self clean • Upper convection oven • Limited stainless only Similar to picture

129995

$

.com .com

99995

$

CL OS EO UT

Model #MBF2254HEW

• Water & ice on door • 33” wide • 22 cu.ft. capacity • Deluxe interior • Limited white only

Monty Montague making a delivery back in the 50’s

Model #MFI2266AEW

New ideas, top brand names, exceptional customer service and great value; that’s what keeps our customers coming back year after year, since 1949.

Home Appliance & Kitchen Center

169995

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We build customer relationships that last for years because we put our customer’s desires before our own. We strive to offer the best service and products so our customers feel good about referring TeeVax to their family and friends.

Mon-Fri, 8:30 to 6:00, Sat 9:00 to 5:00, Sun 11:00 to 4:00 707-545-1195 In Historic Railroad Square • 422 Wilson Street • Santa Rosa • teevax.com

08

05.06.09-05.12.09

THE BOHEMIAN

Come Home to Sonoma County

David Peoples Residential Real Estate

707-486-5037 PeoplesHomes.net

news for Sonoma, Marin & Napa Counties

“Official Newspaper of That Good Woman Who Brought You Here�

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B82 Now learning the very hard way that it helps to check every bit of a CV, particularly as it always comes back to ‘u.’

CWT >\QdSb\P]½b 2^\_[PX]c Why this week’s Dept. of Corrections is actually a story By Gretchen Giles

0

n avid listener of the Philobased KZYX&Z-FM, Mendocino Public Broadcasting, Beth Bosk particularly relishes the hour each weekday that the station devotes to Mendocino County news. Recently, however, a full 15 minutes of that hour has been given over to financial reports by a Bohemian contributor of the past year: John Sakowicz. Increasingly restive that a quarter of the hour was devoted to national news emanating from Wall Street rather than coverage of Ukiah and points north, Bosk began to wonder: Just who is John Sakowicz? She began to do some research. Bosk, who is the editor of the eccentric North Coast journal New Settler Interview—

146 issues and counting, some of them dated “summer,� others “mid-January through March�—did a little bit more digging than I did when Sakowicz first appeared in our pages in 2008. For example, she discovered a series of 13 Boston Globe articles from 1992 involving Sakowicz—including a printed admission in the Globe that cocaine addiction had led him astray in the late ’80s when he embezzled $20,000 from a Baltimore investment club—that made her question his background. She already knew that his most recent paid position was as a guard at the Mendocino County Jail, an unusual job for someone who regularly claimed in print that he is the former owner of an offshore “multi-billion dollar hedge fund,� Battle Mountain Research Group. Bosk soon interested Anderson Valley Advertiser reporter Tim Stelloh in the story,

and—as printed in the April 22 and 29, 2009, issues of the AVA— he found no records for Sakowicz with the Securities and Exchange Commission or the New York Stock Exchange, and no affiliation with the financial firm Spear, Leeds & Kellogg often listed on his rÊsumÊ. Treated as a crank by radio station management, Bosk contacted me with her findings. I listened to her as though slipping down the proverbial rabbit hole. I couldn’t even take any notes as she spoke, I was so upended by what I heard and then by what I read. Through extensive investigation and in conversations with those who know him, a different picture of John Sakowicz began to emerge. It appears that I, and the Bohemian, should have been more diligent. First of all, I apologize. Second of all, here’s how it happened. & &

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t’s no news that traditional print media is undergoing a radical transition, but the country’s alternative newsweeklies, of which the Bohemian is a proud example, have largely escaped the budgeting woes and severe cuts endured by the dailies. The reason is simple: we’re already so small that there’s nothing to cut. We serve some 94,000 weekly readers with an editorial staff consisting of an editor and one and a half writers. And so it was in January 2008, when all still seemed copacetic in the global financial world, that John Sakowicz fell into my digital lap. He submitted a piece for our Open Mic slot, the “community voices� section of the paper. It was a mock letter ostensibly addressing Hugo Chavez and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, entreating them to partner with him so that together they could pull down the world’s economy. It was smartly prescient of the fiscal meltdown to come. We don’t pay for the Open Mic section, but Sakowicz wasn’t interested in being paid. He proposed writing a series of articles for the news section of the Bohemian about the coming collapse of Wall Street, about the mysteries of swaps and derivatives, about the Masters of the Universe as they tumbled down to mere Earth, and suggested that our paltry $100 honorarium be directed either to his college-age daughter or to his “intern� Ryan, who we later learned was his teenaged step-son. Sakowicz seemed credible. Public documents on the internet showed that he had apparently attended Johns Hopkins University, had known Louis Rukeyser and had won a PEN Center USA West Award for his writing about AIDS in 1997. Chief financial officer, hedge-fund, national sales manager at Dean Witter Reynolds—all the credentials looked great. He wrote well, too. Sakowicz prompted lots of letters, and newspapers like letters. We were excited to ride just ahead of the curve of other papers on our financial reportage. I began publishing him regularly and adding him as a “contributing editor� to our masthead as a courtesy. Soon, based in part on the articles he published with us, Sakowicz had his own biweekly, one-hour radio show, The Truth About Money, on KZYX&Z-FM. He and a colleague, Jay Johnson, began filming the radio show and placing it on Johnson’s own online channel UkiahValley.tv, creating special programming just for the web. Sakowicz wrote me excited emails, announcing that he was going to be on Al Jazeera discussing the economy, that he had been contacted by Pacifica Radio, that Playboy had assigned him a piece, that he had been made an “expert� at Norman Solomon’s Institute for Public Accuracy. That he was on the radio each weekday. “I am a financial journalist,� he clarified recently, “not a financial adviser.�

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esearch has revealed little solid documentation to support Sakowicz’s self-described history on Wall Street trading f loors and firms. Digging did turn up confirmation that he was shortly employed by Swiss banking giant UBS. He was taken on in 2004 as an “unregistered

trainee,� a spot described by former UBS branch manager David M. Fritz, who signed the offer letter, as an “entry-level position.� He left shortly thereafter. There is little to back up the claim of his ownership in Battle Mountain Research Group save for a document from UBS granting him the right, in 2005, to liquidate his ownership position. His attorney and business partner, Steve Schechtman, clarifies that there are “no public records� related to Sakowicz’s alleged Cayman Island–based hedge fund, mentioning Cayman tax and secrecy laws and saying that he has an “an obligation to keep the records confidential.�

All the credentials looked great. He wrote well, too. Our investigation yielded no confirmation of employment with the top-tier Wall Street firms that Sakowicz has repeatedly listed in his past: Dean Witter Reynolds, Colonial Management Associates, Merrill Lynch and Alex Brown & Sons. There was nothing filed on him with the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, and no evidence of the Series 7 license required for his industry. Ultimately, save that short stint with UBS, neither the Bohemian nor the Anderson Valley Advertiser, according to its recently published accounts, was able to confirm Sakowicz’s employment with any other financial institution. Granted, many, like Dean Witter Reynolds, have been swallowed by larger firms. And that “multibillion dollar� Battle Mountain Research Group hedge fund was ostensibly dissolved shortly after the United States changed its relationship with the Cayman Islands in 2004 to allow greater transparency, its records sealed under the old rules. But most institutions just had simply never heard of him. I called the Institute for Public Accuracy and spoke to Sam Husseini at its D.C. offices. Sakowicz claims that the IPA did an extensive background check on him before taking him on their “expert� roster. How did they conduct that? “We didn’t do a background check on him,� Husseini admits. “He’s a self-nominated expert. People who knock on our door are an extreme minority. I checked with Norman [Solomon], and he only had words of praise for the Bohemian. I sent a few of John’s articles to some economists and asked if his content was reasonable. They said yeah.� Well, let the circle be broken. It appears that Sakowicz, while talented at understanding and predicting the economic moonscape, does not have the exact background he claims to have, one that we underscored by repeatedly printing it at the end of his articles. A credible publication cannot publish the works of writers whose credentials cannot withstand scrutiny. John Sakowicz will no longer be writing for us. THE BOHEMIAN

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know I am not alone. I know that many of you are just like me: you work hard at a job you love for a paycheck you don’t. Still, I have learned to live on my meager compensation, am even grateful for the opportunity to be not trendily but necessarily frugal. True, I haven’t had health insurance since college, but I am young and healthy, and other than the occasional Pap smear or inexplicable face rash, I am deftly able to avoid doctors and their offices. And yet despite my reverence for grapefruit, flax seeds and Pilates, I do sometimes find myself feverish, congested, achy, bronchially inflamed, bed-bound. Sick. Miserable. I float on a fluid sea, I double-fist echinacea, vitamin C and yin chiao, I seek out every homeopathic remedy Community Market can offer, and I dutifully turn down all social engagements. But I’m just not getting better. And after my fourth night waking up with a mouth dry as desert sand because I can’t breathe through my nose, I’m ready to cross that most daunting Rubicon: going to the doctor without insurance. I start by calling the low-income community health facilities, even though it means a trip out to Guerneville or Occidental. They have no openings. An experience at the Santa Rosa walk-in clinic listening to a little girl scream about her broken misshapen leg for over an hour resulted in a firm vow never to return. I’m ready to pound another liter of water and head back into a hot shower when the woman on the phone at the new Sebastopol Health Clinic (whose hours I can’t make) informs me that there is a clinic at Wal-Mart. “Oh, well, thanks,� I say, eager to rinse out that bad-tasting suggestion as quickly as possible. “Well,� she answers doubtfully, “they’re probably your best bet.� Half a bottle of all-natural nasal spray later, I find myself next to Wal-Mart’s in-house McDonald’s, in a waiting area the size of my bathroom, checking out the menu of services that, like its neighbor, are alarmingly cheap. A flu shot for only $19. Strep-throat test for a mere $29. An entire STD screening for the bargain price of $199. And what I’ve come for: a visit with the doctor for—drum roll, please—only $59! It’s not a typo. It’s real. And it’s the best deal I’ve seen in a doctor’s office since free lollipops. Still, I feel that familiar anger turning my stomach. Why does Wal-Mart have to force its way into yet another sector of human life? They already sell products cheaper than any other retailer can ever afford to. They develop your film, fill your eyeglass prescription, feed you Big Macs, French-manicure your nails, even provide organic produce. Is nothing sacred?

The release form explains that the relationship between Wal-Mart and the clinic, aptly called Quick Health, is one of “landlord and tenant.� Wal-Mart simply loans its reputation and real estate. Since people have caught on to having their oil changed at WalMart, why not have a wart or two removed? Enough people make use of the clinic that they, too, can afford to offer rock-bottom prices that no health facility can rival. As I fill out my chart, I can’t help but feel that I am not only privy to, but an agent for, corporate dominance. After reading the ingredients in the Valentine’s candy on display 10 feet from my chair, I am ushered in to see a jovial doctor who takes his time listening to my symptoms, my lungs and my heartbeat. He nods understandingly as I gently plea for no additional tests. He tells me I have a mild case of bronchitis and explains how to use the inhaler. He prescribes an antibiotic and, when I lament the inevitable yeast infection, he instructs me on how to make my own yogurt. And here is where I experience the guilt. I realize that I bear judgment in my psyche the way children bear dirty hands. Given the circumstances of crisis capitalism and curiosity, respectively, maybe it’s only natural. I’d assumed that a doctor who worked for a clinic associated with Wal-Mart couldn’t have progressive ideas. Perhaps I am justified in condemning the store as an emblem of exploitation, but surely I must remember that the human experience is not plastic, but organic, nuanced, complex. After all, might someone be judging me for coming here in the first place, despite my informed objection? An hour after arrival, I’ve been seen by a doctor, had my prescription filled, and even picked up a pack of pens—all for less than a brand-new pair of Nikes. As I head out into the brightly lit parking lot, I realize that this has been the easiest, most gratifying (and sociologically fascinating) trip to the doctor I’ve ever experienced. I realize that when it comes down to it—it being my thin wallet, of course, and, well, my health—there is really no way of getting around the truth. Wal-Mart did not save my life. But damn if it didn’t give me what every hard-working American deserves. And damn if I didn’t feel, dare I even say it, lucky. Jessica Dur teaches English and history at Nonesuch School in Sebastopol and is looking forward to traveling around Turkey this summer. Open Mic is now a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 700 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.

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hopping is a religious experience in the United States. In fact, it may be the biggest drink-the-Kool-Aid church of them all. Sadly, it ignores the parable attributed to Jesus of Nazareth, the one about the Pearl of Great Price, which is something inside you that you cannot buy at a mall. But let’s not get preachy. We all have to go to the store now and then. Commercial enterprise is a helpful thing; it just happens I am someone who despises corporate greediness and also hates to shop in multi-acre stores offering styrofoam-packed stuff made with exploited labor in China and bearing environmental footprints bigger than San Bernardino and New Jersey combined. Give me instead a farmers market and a few little mom-and-pop places where there seems to be some real personality and environmental thinking expressed. This is why I am so happy to know that likeminded people across the country are organizing commerce groups that strengthen communities and weaken bad-boy corporations—they are intentionally going local. In Sonoma County, the hub of this movement is a nonprofit group unambiguously called the Sonoma County Go Local Cooperative (http:// sonomacounty.golocal.coop). It works as an empowering organization for county residents and for businesses that are at least 51 percent locally owned. This means that bullies can’t join. For example, you will not find among the membership any of the following, recently blacklisted by Green America: Wal-Mart, ExxonMobil, Coca-Cola, Nestle, Monsanto, General Motors, Dominion, Citigroup, Shell Petroleum or McDonald’s. Instead, Go Local has a membership that includes the likes of Redwood Hill Farm, the Post Carbon Institute, Zazu Restaurant and Farm, Village Art Supply and a host of other reasonably sized, mostly locally owned enterprises, most of which have some claim to sustainability. What jumped off the list for me was the Sonoma County Meat Buying Club, a cooperative within a cooperative that will no doubt get a huge boost in membership

if this swine flu epidemic is in fact linked to the unsanitary conditions of hog farms that supply meat to chain stores. But this is what going local is all about—knowing where your food comes from and getting services from people who live in your community and want to keep it a nice place. I was a co-op member in Arcata, before food co-ops in the Bay Area were abandoned in favor of gourmet grocery stores. I perceived it to be a kind of social unraveling, which went along with the Reagan years. And so it was. But in these times the fabric is being mended. I’m encouraged—prompted perhaps by this economic down-spiral—that people are beginning to see all the benefits of boosting togetherness. “Since cooperatives are organized for the benefit of their members rather than to earn profits for investors,� says the Go Local purpose statement, “they tend to take a longer term view with respect to their operations. That is not to say that cooperatives don’t look at the bottom line, but rather that they have additional objectives that focus more on the longterm survival of the business and their members.� There’s a kind of folksy sweetness to the pledge that coop members are encouraged to make when they join Go Local: “I pledge to become more aware of my impact and contribution to the community, economy and environment. I understand the importance of supporting our independent, locally owned businesses and will ‘think local first’ when making daily purchasing decisions.� Presently, about 800 million people in 85 countries are served by cooperatives, nongovernment groups presently focusing on recovering from economic crisis around the globe. The localization movement is not only good for business; it’s good for community spirit. And maybe it’s good for the soul as well. Because when you go local and shop responsibly, you also care for your own community, and you chip away at the corporate superpowers whose unsustainable business practices result in making life so miserable for so many people. Sure, you get stuff, but you also get a better glimpse of the Pearl of Great Price, which is really not for sale.

This is what going local is all about—knowing where your food comes from and getting services from people who live in your community and want to keep it a nice place.

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4;DB8E4 Mushroom hunters describe 2008–’09 as the second-worst season in memory.

BPSST]X]V Bh\QX^bXb Chanterelles need oaks, but the oaks are dying. What about the mushrooms? By Alastair Bland

0

s another spring takes hold and edges into the onset of summer, Bay Area chanterelle hunters have rarely been so let down. Due in part to the tardiness of the autumn rains as well as the bone-dry January, the harvest this year, especially in Marin County, was among the worst on record, according to veteran collectors. But in some regions, low rainfall is the least of the problems affecting chanterelle output. If there is one thing Cantharellus californicus—only recently named as such—needs more than water, it’s oak trees, but the oaks are vanishing. The disappearance comes at the hands of humans as well as a microscopic pathogen, Phytophthora ramorum, which causes the infamous sudden oak death in three species of oaks and their relative, the tanoak. Sudden oak death has hit Marin County particularly hard. David Campbell of San Rafael, who once sat as president of the Mycological

Society of San Francisco, has hunted chanterelles every season in Marin for 25 years. In those decades he has isolated scores of favorite patches in which the mushrooms reliably fruit, but about five years ago Campbell first observed a lag in chanterelle production. About the same time, he began noticing sick trees on his regular mushroom hikes. Two to three years ago, he recalls, they appeared to be dying. By 2008, so many oaks had fallen across the trails that hiking through the remote woods became nearly impossible along some trails, and today most of Campbell’s favorite sites have withered and died. Campbell has collected hundreds of pounds of chanterelles in winters past, but this year was as bad as they get. “I got zero,� he says. “Virtually all my patches are now done.� There is little hope of developing a cure for sudden oak death, according to Matteo Garbelotto, a UC Berkeley professor and specialist in forest pathology and mycology. “We’re looking at something that’s not going

away,� says Garbelotto. “The number of infected trees is so huge that we have almost no chance of stopping this.� In California, the epidemic is most severe in western Marin and in the hills of the Big Sur coast, says Garbelotto, if only because the bacteria appeared in those regions first, but eventually all oak country may become infected. Or maybe not. A wide swath of oak country between central Napa County and Humboldt County has gone mysteriously uninfected, according to Janice Alexander, an outreach coordinator at the UC Davis extension office in Novato. She and other researchers have their eyes on the region, wondering if clues toward developing a treatment lie somewhere within. Meanwhile, a common foliar spray called Agri-Fos can fend off infection, but the manual application is only a preventative measure not a cure. Commercial hunters made pocket change off the 2009 chanterelle crop. Connie Green, a Napa-based harvester of 30-plus years and the proprietor of Wine Forest Mushrooms, &THE BOHEMIAN

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says that, although her favorite chanterelle patches are still uninfected by sudden oak death, this winter was the second worst in her memory. She reeled in only a quarterton, what is essentially a crop failure compared to her long-term seasonal average of 3,000 pounds. She attributes the meager harvest to the dry spring of 2008, the late fall rains and a rainless January.

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05.06.09-05.12.09

THE BOHEMIAN

But while drought conditions simply put mushroom appearance on hiatus, land development outright kills it, and in the past decade Green has watched roughly 200 acres of Northern California chanterelle country—including some trees as old as 400 years—go under to the progress of the wine industry. Other mushroom lovers also point the finger at the wine industry. Ken Litchfield, an organic farmer in the East Bay hills and a mushroom hobbyist and lecturer, feels that sudden oak death is an easy culprit at which to point the finger, but grapevines, he says, are far deadlier. “Bulldozing oak trees for subdivisions and vineyards,� Litchfield quips, “now that is literal ‘sudden oak death.’� But Green has observed a recent deceleration in North Bay vineyard plantings, and, sure enough, according to data provided by the Wine Institute, growers in Marin, Sonoma and Napa counties planted over 1,300 acres of vines in 2006. Some almost certainly replaced oak groves, but in 2007 the conversion slowed; in the same region, just 400 new acres of wine grapes took root. “Our economy seems to be taking care of the development problem,� Green notes. As the blazing North Bay summer approaches, Green hopes for one last deluge of rain to dampen the soil and give the dormant chanterelles one final shot of juice to pull them through the dry season. Ironically, however, in regions affected by sudden oak death, rainfall in the warmer months like May is exactly what Phytophthora ramorum needs to spread outward to new hosts, experts say. And for chanterelles in parts of Marin County, it seems they’re damned if it rains and damned if it don’t.

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Roast Beef au Jus, Chicken Marsala, Eggplant Parmesan, Baked Seven Cheese Tortellini, Country Fresh Scrambled Eggs, Poached Salmon with Green Goddess Sauce, Smoked Salmon & Cream Cheese with Bagels, Potato Latkes with Sour Cream &Homemade Applesauce,

Parmesan Potatoes, Applewood Sausage, Hickory Smoked Bacon, Fresh Seasonal Fruits, Butter Lettuce Salad, Assorted Muffins, Croissants & Desserts Coffee, Tea & Hot Chocolate

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N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N N Adults – $2695 N Seniors (65+) –

2295 N Children under 10 – $1695

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Also Serving Mother’s Day Dinner 5:00pm–8:00pm

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Sunday, May 10th, 2009 10am–3pm

Spinach & Mushroom Frittata, French Toast,

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Mother’s Day Brunch Buffet

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On the Town Square Nicasio Reservations Advised: 415-662-2219 Take D St to Pt. Reyes–Petaluma Road, Left on Nicasio Valley Road

www.ranchonicasio.com

Napa Smith Beers Make Food Taste Better

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THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

19

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20

05.06.09-05.12.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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05.06.09-05.12.09

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Corks Hours: Thurs–Sun 5pm–9pm Serving Lunch: Sat–Sun 11:30am–2:30pm Tasting Room: 7 days a week 11:30am–4:30pm

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visit russianrivervineyards.com for menu updates

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THE BOHEMIAN

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Weekly four course, prix-fixe menu for $29.95 pp

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Special Four Course Mother’s Day Brunch - $39.95 pp Sunday, May 10th, 10:30am-2:30pm

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NATURAL & ORGANIC INGREDIENTS Open 7am-10pm Daily 4 1 5 . 4 6 0. 2 1 6 0 1900 Sir Francis Drake Blvd. Fairfax, California

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THE BOHEMIAN

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NIGHTLY DINNER SPECIALS

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24;;0AB >5 B>=><0 nown locally as the traditional haunt of winos, Santa Rosa’s Railroad Square has ceded ground to enthusiasts of the higher shelves. Restaurants have dished up gourmet grub in this the twoblock area for quite a while; the addition of pubs, wine and whiskey bars makes—weekend nights—for a more urbane mirror of the all-out Fourth Street boozefest on the other side of the mall. But the departure of Traverso’s Deli leaves precious few retail wine outlets downtown. Joining wine bar and off-sale shop Wine Spectrum, newcomer Cellars of Sonoma is a co-op tasting room that serves up product from six small wineries.

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The shop is pretty well put together. If the massive dark wood arches of the bar look familiar, that’s because it formerly faced opposite in Mixx restaurant, which was next door. Even in its historic urban location, Cellars of Sonoma lacks not for picture window views on the vineyards: the scenery is on an artful bank of at panel screens ensconced in wine-barrel heads on the wall. The digital pictures segue continuously from vineyard scenes to snapshots of the results of the coop’s February Bicycle Aid for Africa event. A creaking staircase leads to the loft, with a ceiling of wine barrel staves, where Cellars holds two-hour aroma seminars in which a round of wine is followed by a tuition in scents, by way of snifďŹ ng the essence of essential oils wafting from the bowl of wine glasses. It could be helpful for folks who like what they smell but who’d like to pick out more distinct aromas, like toast and mushroom among the vanilla, raspberry and cherry. Luckily, I’m told not to judge that toast on an off-day; it’s a little fresher on seminar days. Standout wines include the DuNah Vineyard 2006 GewĂźrztraminer ($30) which, unlike more austere dry GewĂźrz, loads all the spice and tropical fruits of that grape on a fairly dry palate. An unreal aroma of orange zest carries the DuNah 2006 Russian River Valley Estate Pinot Noir ($50), with nutmeg and a mouthful of orange liqueur-ďŹ lled chocolate, all the way through the ďŹ nish. The Gann Family 2006 Alexander Valley Zinfandel ($30) is big and juicy, and if it trended toward ripe raisins and prunes, nicely so: a polished, big old portlike Zin. Ty Caton’s Sonoma Valley mountain wines are available for sale only, the legal beagle stuff not yet worked out for pouring. I’ll bet the Malbec is particularly promising, and I hope to brown-bag a bottle down to the railroad tracks someday soon. Cellars of Sonoma. 133 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. Sunday– Wednesday, 10am–5pm; Thursday–Saturday, 10am– 7pm. $10 fee. 707.578.1826. James Knight

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TOYO

Bfrom rews the world &Tasty Paround ub Grub

Hand-Crafted

Japanese Cuisine

Now Open 7 Days!

Taste the divine excellence

Lunch Sat & Sun

Happy Mother’s Day

####

YELP.com NOW SERVING SAKI BOMBS 707-527-8871 • 3082 Marlow Rd. B-3 Santa Rosa • Corner of Marlow & Piner OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK! SAKE/WINE/BEER • Catering & Food To-Go

Friday, May 8

Jennifer Tucker Lucky Otis Saturday, May 9 @ 8:00pm

The Easy Leaves www.myspace.com/theeasyleaves

Saturday, May 10th, 11 am-9pm

Mother’s Day

ORIGINAL

PIZZA Home of the

Tasty, Affordable & Casual! Reservations Recommended 707.874.9037 | www.barleynhops.com 3688 Bohemian Highway, Occidental

Sourdough Crust! 707-539-3937 Now Open for Lunch (open everyday)

Take Out & Delivery • Classic to California Creative • Smiling Pizzaiolos

500 Misssion Blvd., Santa Rosa www.borolos.com

BAND EVENTS Fri May 8 • 6–10pm • $5

Downtown Joe’s Own Hand Crafted Ales; where science meets the art of brewing with a passion!!

BROTHER CAT Sat May 9 • 6–10pm • $6

THE POYNTLYSS SISTAS Sun May 10 • 4–7pm • $5

DGIIN

www.myspace.com/dgiin Fri May 15 • 6–10pm • $5

THUGZ

Classic American microbrews & specially crafted English & Irish Ales. Brew Master Colin Kaminski

902 MAIN ST • NAPA CA

707-258-BEER ww.downtownjoes.com

www.thethugz.net Sat May 16 • 6–10pm • $6

THE PULSATORS www.pulsators.com

Fri May 22 • 7–10pm • $5

SUSAN COMSTOCK SWINGTET Swimming Pool Open to Public • Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner • Brunch on Weekends • Full Bar • Live Bands 707.869.0821 | 14540 Canyon 2, Rio Nido

www.rionidoroadhouse.com

THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

25

MAYA YOGA VINY YASA F FUSION

Eddie Modestinii & Nicki Doa ane Eddie & Nicki are back k!! 2 hour morning classe es (This is the last month to study with them at the studio untiil our Sept. 9th Maya Yoga Te eacher Training)

VINIY YO OGA YOGA AS MEDICINE WO ORKSHOPS

Mirka Mirk a Kra aftsow She h ’s ’s a gem of a se enior teacher! Satur t days in May from o 2-4:30 pm. Also o, ongoing g classes check the sc chedule for det ta ails!!

now's the time!! ALL LE EVELS V WELCOME M

CL LASSICAL L PATA AJALIM YO OGA SUTRA & YOG OGASANA WORK KSH S OP

SPECI IAL SA ATURDA T AY SERIES

Bha ava ani Ma aki

A Ann Au ustin

Exquisite cha anting of the classical Sanskrit, awessome yoga classes, very animated a and deeply inspiring.

Satur t day M May 9th, 9-11:30am BACKBENDS Satu u day May 16th, ur 16th, 9-11:30am 9 11:30am ARM RM M BALANCES & INVERSIONS

Leave room in the calendar for this. We are very tha ankful she can come here, This Will Be A Great Experience.

Last we eekend of May, check sche edule for det ta ails!!!

Ann's classes are very fun and ch hallenging, come support our long gtime local teacher and share in yoga with our community. local favo v rite!!

We want to thank our Sonoma County community fo or supporting us to bring this wonderful ancient healing system to fruit here. We are so thankful to offer the work of these very dedicated senior teachers, who really emb body the stream of yoga as they teach. Please check the website fo or d details about these and other great offerings. We off ffeer ongoing classes fo or students of all levels. Go fo or the positive change you've been craving, come take a class, add more ease and lau ugh-out loud joy to your days.

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05.06.09-05.12.09

THE BOHEMIAN

9. C62 /<52:2

C70=: H>D E8=24=C Oh vigorous, fresh, swirling sky!

5d[[ <^^] <PS]Tbb One night doing every single thing we can think of By Suzanne Daly, Gretchen Giles, Gabe Meline, P. Joseph Potocki, Lindsay Pyle and Hannah Smith

H

ou’re traveling through another dimension—a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s a signpost up ahead. Your next stop: um . . . La vie Boheme. With all due apologies to Rod Serling, join us in pretending that it’s a full moon on a recent Friday night. Pretend that you can zip from one area of the North Bay to the other without spending more than a minute. That your powers of endurance for physical activity and late-night french fry consumption are miraculous. That making out in three counties in just one hour is doable. That you love to bowl. That biking straight uphill is fun. Travel with us to the other dimension that is one rock-solid night of North Bay pleasures.—G.G.

5:30pm: Happy Hour! The refuge of the barstool is the reliable stuff of Irish lore: the comforting slide on up, the slat to

hook heels, the soft sticky burnish under elbows, the surrounding buzz of anonymous conversation, the bloody great late-afternoon deals. A week that included several unpleasant attorney-borne surprises, several resultant stress-pimples, a few thousands extra words, two parties, one public presentation and not enough yoga is one that’s gotta end with something happy, if even for just an hour. And so the comforting slide on up, the hooking of heels, the agreement that well’s OK— top shelf not needed—the mere $3 spent, the free food heated up and cooling in butane-fired pans . . . all of it, happy. A sip, a look around, a nice nudge in the ribs of the pal nearby, another sip, the warmth spreads and a brain flush begins taking with it the attorneys, surprises, words, parties, public— everything but the pimples. But in this light, looking at the mirror behind the bar just so, even they begin to fade as the week leaches lightly away. —G.G.

6:05pm: The Tunnels A nice happy hour buzz is floating through the bloodstream, but stepping through the barroom doors and into the cruel light of day brings on the realization that it’s still not dark yet. There’s one way to fix that: by going underground. Time to hit the tunnels.

When the city of Santa Rosa paved over both Santa Rosa and Matanzas creeks to build a new city hall in 1968, little did it realize the diverting activity it created for its more daring residents. The 15-by-15-foot concrete tunnels span two blocks underneath downtown, from E Street to Santa Rosa Avenue, and looking at them from the entrance, they seem to disappear into a dark, empty hell. Take the plunge. Start walking. The graffiti-covered walls get smaller. Visibility diminishes severely. For a length of about 20 steps, directly in the middle, pure darkness surrounds ahead and behind. Keep walking. Breathe deep and absorb every heavy inch of the still, cold silence. Slowly, as if reemerging from a near-death experience, a faint light will appear in the distance. Go toward it. Soon, the cruel light of day shines again—except this time, it doesn’t seem so cruel anymore. Feeling less brave? Along a five-block walk underneath historic old town, Petaluma’s equivalent tunnels provide light beaming down from storm drains at every block. Strap on those old grubby sneakers, find the creek entrance near Eighth and G streets, and tromp diagonally through the murky underbelly of town. '. THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

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7P__h 1Pa 7^__X]V Sonoma County Ace-in-the-Hole 3100 Gravenstein Hwy. N., Sebastopol. 707.829.1223. Ausiello’s 609 Fifth St, Santa Rosa. 707.579.9408. Barndiva 231 Center St., Healdsburg. 707.431.0100. The Belvedere 727 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa. 707.542.1890. Black Cat 10056 Main St., Penngrove, 707.793.9480. Black Rose Irish Pub 2074 Armory Drive, Santa Rosa. 707.546.7673. Cantina 500 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. 707.523.3663. Casbar 3345 Santa Rosa Ave., Santa Rosa, 707.568.1011. Equus 101 Fountaingrove Pkwy., Santa Rosa. 707.578.6101. Flamingo Lounge 2777 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. 707.545.8530. Forestville Club 6250 Front St., Forestville. 707.887.2594. Healdsburg Bar and Grill 245 Healdsburg Ave., Healdsburg. 707.433.3333. Hopmonk Tavern 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. 707.829.7300. Jasper O’Farrell’s 6957 Sebastopol Ave., Sebastopol. 707.829.2062. Last Day Saloon 120 Fifth St., Santa Rosa, 707.545.2343. Little Switzerland 19080 Riverside Drive, Sonoma. 707.938.9910. Main Street Station 16280 Main St., Guerneville. 707.869.0501. Mario & John’s Tavern 428 E. D St., Petaluma. 707.762.9984. McNear’s 23 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. 707.765.2121. Mc T’s Bullpen 16246 First St., Guerneville. 707.869.3377. Mondo Sonoma 875 W. Napa St., Sonoma. 707.938.8013. Murphy’s Irish Pub 464 First St., Sonoma. 707.935.0660. Nutty Irishman 995 Piner Road, Santa Rosa. 707.544.1447. Pink Elephant 9895 Main St., Monte Rio. 707.865.0500. Quincy’s 6590 Commerce Blvd., Rohnert Park. 707.585.1079. Red’s Recovery Room 8175 Gravenstein Hwy. S., Cotati. 707.795.4100. Russian River Brewing 725 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. 707.545.BEER. Spancky’s 8201 Old Redwood Hwy., Cotati. 707.664.0169. Stark’s Steakhouse 521 Adams St., Santa Rosa. 707.546.5100. Stout Brothers 527 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. 707.636.0240. Third Street Aleworks 610 Third St., Santa Rosa. 707.523.3060. Tip Top Tavern & Grill 20 Dry Creek Road, Healdsburg. 707.433.2636. Toad in the Hole Pub 116 Fifth St., Santa Rosa. 707.544.8623. Traxx Bar & Grill 219 Lakeville St., Petaluma. 707.781.3121. Upper Fourth 96 Old Courthouse Square, Santa Rosa. 707.573.0522. Vintner’s Inn 4350 Barnes Road, Santa Rosa. 707.527.7687.

Marin County Finnegan’s Marin 877 Grant Ave., Novato. 415.899.1516. Iron Springs 765 Center Blvd., Fairfax. 415.485.1005. 19 Broadway Niteclub 19 Broadway, Fairfax. 415.459.1091. Marin Brewing Co. 1809 Larkspur Landing Circle, Larkspur. 415.461.4677. Moylan’s Brewery 15 Rowland Way, Novato. 415.898.HOPS. No Name Bar 757 Bridgeway, Sausalito. 415.332.1392. Old Western Saloon Main Street, Pt. Reyes Station. 415.663.1661. Panama Hotel 4 Bayview St., San Rafael. 415.457.3993. Papermill Creek Saloon 1 Castro, Forest Knolls. 415.488.9235. Peri’s Silver Dollar 29 Broadway, Fairfax. 415.459.9910. Pete’s 881 721 Lincoln Ave., San Rafael. 415.453.5888. Saylor’s Landing 2009 Bridgeway, Sausalito 415.332.6161. Smiley’s 41 Wharf Road, Bolinas. 415.868.1311. Station House Cafe 11180 State Route 1, Pt. Reyes Station. 415.663.1515.

Napa County Ana’s Cantina 1205 Main St., St. Helena. 707.963.4921. Calistoga Inn 1250 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.4101. Downtown Joe’s 902 Main St., Napa. 707.258.2337. Hydro Grill 1403 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.9777.

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THE BOHEMIAN

—G.G.

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Petaluma’s tunnels are smaller and slightly more claustrophobic than Santa Rosa’s concrete caverns, but they are brighter. Be warned that some serious boggy mud collects as the tunnels empty into the Petaluma River. These old towns, these old tunnels. Tiny breezes billow by, first felt faintly on the cheek and then fiercely down the spine. Could these sensations be spirits collecting from the past? In the absolute darkness, is it a guarantee that the solitude of the tunnels is actually . . . solitude?—G.M.

7:10pm: Mammy Pleasant’s Beltane Cave

Well-oiled and time-tunneled, tumbling from the void just as the clock strikes 7 o’clock, cast into the shadowy sepia bewitchment of an 1890s evening; diceroll lucky, seven for the devil, Celts on the march—and all around goofer dust’s up, and the mojo’s working. It’s Mary Ellen “Mammy� Pleasant’s Beltane Ranch near Glen Ellen, more than an hour before dusk on this ancient Gaelic fire-fest evening. Mammy, the era’s most powerful voodoo queen, a crone casting spells from her hidden hoodoo cave, has grisgris bags to power up the loves of lives. Legend has it that Mammy engaged in “the black arts,� that she sold babies, murdered as many as 49 people, ran brothels, committed fraud, spied through walls on blackmail victims and held unholy powers over the wealthiest San Franciscans. It’s said, too, that she’d provide best of luck in love and money, for a price. Distant hoodoo music weaves beat for beat through shimmering oak-splattered hills edging up the still-green Mayacamas Mountains. A faint malodor of brimstone accosts one’s nostrils. Just might be Mammy’s “cure-all� potion—jimson, honey and sulfur—stirred up into a nasty viscous slurry, then rubbed against the black cat arched atop a passing rock, as foot by careful foot the seekers climb mutely to a constant faroff drum beat, all the while still heading up, aiming for Mammy Pleasant’s cave.

Sonoma County

Later, as night is unveiled, blazing tongues will lap ink from the sky, roiling in fiery merriment, celebrants sweating and entranced, dancing around coastal bonfires. This ancient Beltane fest begins the moment the sun gets extinguished. But for now the seekers’ mission is darkened by an even more ancient connection to druid priests from whom Beltane first emerged, replete with blood and daggers buried in those sacrificed, calling forth an unholy metempsychosis—the transmigration of the soul of the dead into another who is living. Finally, the seekers reach and timidly enter Mammy’s cave. Their way in marks years distantly past—heading out leads back to the present. Lit candles, burning frankincense, neat piles of bleached bones, heaps and clusters of human hair, and small stout vessels filled with bodily fluids lie arranged at the edges of this womblike sanctum, while in the middle of the space a thin water trickle drips near a familiar webbed gaming device, accompanied atop by its soft, furry little ball. The gris-gris bags are placed around this racket, each for the taking. But where is Mammy, and what price does she expect each of them, ultimately, to pay?—P.J.P.

Love Mom!

TreeGirl Art Show May 7th, 6-8pm

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8:02pm: Tennis

Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Heart pounding, palms sweating. Tennis shoes slapping the firm surface and arms stretching out like gum. Bright lights overhead shine into determined eyes as the cool night breeze floats quietly by. Contact! The racquet hits the yellow ball with a thud, and it’s lobbed up over the net. The arm swings forward following the ball’s flight. Perfect follow through. Dink! The serve has no pace and hits the net. Fault! A bead of sweat falls onto the lit court as the player wipes it off in anger. The ball is served and smashed back. With a strong forehand, the server serves, and the receiver volleys it. They rally, and the server fails to make a legal return. They play on, and soon there is a winner. Happiness and defeat. The players walk off the court, breathless yet energized. The tennis court lights go out, and soon the only light is the moon and stars in the sky. At the end of the night, the score is 3–love. Tennis is the only game where you don’t want any love, even at night.—H.S. (%

Alternate Route Training in Dance/Movement Therapy Intro Workshop, May 16 (7 hours CEU for MFT and/or LCSW Provider #3888) OR 18 month professional training

program, starts July 10, 2009 The courses have been “developed in adherence to the American dance therapy association guidelines for ADTRs teaching courses to alternate route students.�

Held at Sonoma State University, Rohnert Park

VISIT OUR WEBSITE FOR FURTHER INFORMATION AND CLASS SCHEDULES: www.movement-education.org/therapy/ To enroll contact: Judy Gantz, CMER Director judy@movement-education.org 310-477-9535

CENTER FOR MOVEMENT EDUCATION & RESEARCH

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Analy High School 6950 Analy Ave., Sebastopol. 707.824.2300. Brook Haven Middle School 7905 Valentine Ave., Sebastopol. 707.829.4590. Rainbow Park Roman Street and Rosanna Way, Rohnert Park. One lit court.

Marin County

Boyd Memorial Park B and Missions streets, San Rafael. One lit court. Boyle Park East Blithedale Avenue at East Drive, Mill Valley. Five lit courts. 415.388.6523. Maria B. Freitas Memorial Park Montecito Road at Trellis, San Rafael. Two lit courts. Pioneer Park 1007 Simmons Lane, Novato. Four lit courts. Town Park Pixley at Tamalpais Drive and Eastman Avenue, Corte Madera. Two lit courts.

Napa County

Calistoga Stevenson and Grant streets, Calistoga. Four lit courts. Napa High School 2475 Jefferson St., Napa. Two coin-operated lit courts. 707.253.3711. Pacific Union College 1 Angwin Ave., Angwin. Six lit courts. 800.862.7080. St. Helena High School 1401 Grayson Ave., St. Helena. Two lit courts. 707.967.2740. —H.S.

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05.06.09-05.12.09

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A great adventure awaits those who strive to experience the mystical beauty of the “islands in the sky.� A full-moon ride to Occidental and up Coleman Valley Road kicks off a challenging uphill climb to reach this amazing view. After turning onto Willow Creek Road and riding a short distance, the “real� road peters out, abruptly ending at a large fence prohibiting parking and entry of cars, and signifies the start of the Willow Creek addition to California’s state park system. This trail is intended for hikers, cyclists and horses, but absolutely no dogs. As it devolves into hard-packed dirt and gravel, the old logging and dairy road gently slopes through native iris and other wildflowers in grassy pastures that cows have long forgotten. But soon the legs and lungs feel the exertion from the increasing incline of the coastal range that divides this inland valley from the Pacific Ocean. As riders pass through the redwoods and Douglas fir trees that encroach on the trail, the path grows steadily darker and spookier. The golden eyes of imagined mountain lions and tigers and bears (oh, my!) peer out from the thickets bordering the track, and though it steepens, riders push their racing hearts and feet a little harder. After a couple miles of steady pedaling, the forest gives way to sweeping grasslands at the top of the rise. The wind whips coldly around sweating bodies as the nearby ocean makes its presence known. Knobby, tree-covered hillocks rise skyward from the grass, forming topographic islands. As the Pacific’s marine influence blankets the hillside with mist, only those islands are visible, floating in an ethereal sea of clouds. With the full moon shining down on this magical vista, the strain of the trip evaporates and is replaced by the breathtaking wonder that Sonoma County offers.—S.D.

10:15pm: Barspace.TV “This is so freaking weird. I can see someone getting a tequila shot!� “Dude, is that Michelle? It totally looks like her.� “Oh, my God, that’s so funny. She would

THE BOHEMIAN

be there. I can’t tell if that’s her, but that bar is so dead. Let’s go somewhere else.â€? Finding the place to be on a Friday night is hit or miss. The solution is to stalk local bars through hidden web cams. Seriously. Barspace.tv has 360-degree live views of such popular Sonoma County bars as Friar Tucks, Tex Wasabi’s, the Cantina, the Yacht Club, Stir and others. These views have a zoom-in feature, in case the eye is drawn to a certain fine-looking bargoer, and usually are on all weekend from 9pm to 1am. OK, so it’s been said that the cameras don’t have facial recognition technology, but still it’s a little creepy. Then again, it does give us a way to distinguish the off-the-hook places from the lame. Bars can also put coupons up on their page for things like $3 Jägerbombs or can text site users about impromptu deals. A website that gives drink specials, the ability to see how many people are at a bar from a computer and is as sketch as the guilty pleasure of Facebook stalking? Probably the most genius creeper site ever.—H.S.

11pm: Drunk Dining Cruising down the main drag of the small city, most businesses have already darkened their windows for the night. But standing out in fully-lit glory sits the Destination, the one eatery in the neighborhood offering a late-night meal. The noisy group of friends slip through the door and into the darkened restaurant’s faux leather booth, giddy and exhilarated from their recent adventures out. The women’s bare thighs stick slightly to the well-worn seats as they scoot deeper into its embrace. The dimly lit room is half-full of others like them, creatures of the night searching for sustenance not homemade. As steaming plates are delivered to tables nearby, the friends crane their necks trying to figure out what has been ordered. The group hungrily peruse the menu, each member looking for the late-night meal that will satisfy a personal craving. A midnight breakfast of waffles or omelettes? Would a salad suffice? One lass closes her eyes, momentarily tuning into her hunger and imagining what would magically appear on her plate—if she could find it on the menu. A steaming bowl of French onion soup replete with crusty bread forms before her, then disappears like

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Lane fees and shoe rentals vary; call ahead for special deals and information on league nights, when availability may be slim.

Sonoma County Boulevard Lanes 1100 Petaluma Blvd. S., Petaluma. Xtreme Bowling starts at 9pm on Friday and 8pm on Saturday. 707.762.4581. Double Decker Lanes 300 Golf Course Drive, Rohnert Park. Rock ’n’ Glow Bowling starts at 10pm on Friday and 9pm on Saturday. 707.585.0226. Windsor Bowl 8801 Conde Lane, Windsor. Rock ’n’ Bowl starts at 8pm on Fridays and Saturdays. 707.837.9889.

Marin County Country Club Bowl 88 Vivian Way, San Rafael. Call for any specials. 415.456.4661.

Napa County Napa Bowl 494 Soscol Ave., Napa. Cosmic Bowling starts at 9pm on Saturday. 707.224.8331. —G.M.

a Saharan mirage. She opens her eyes and closes her menu. The well-worn waitress approaches. Adding a few “hons� to her patter and stowing her pen behind her ear, she ambles off to the kitchen, where the road map to satiation is clipped into the chef’s metallic wheel of work. And so they wait, listening to the vapid tunes of the tatty lounge lizardess hoping to fill her near-empty tip jar. The group scrounge deeply in their pockets and purses. The handfuls of change and crumpled bills are passed to the guy at the end of the table closest to the sequineddressed entertainer, and he rises and slips the wad into her jar. The singer beams a tired but bright smile his way, sharing the love they all feel as steaming plates laden with their own desires arrive.—S.D.

11:35pm: Late-Night Bowling Next up! Twinkletoes! Where’s Twinkletoes? All right, you’re workin’ off of a strike, so make this one count! No, hey, that’s my ball . . . and . . . ooohhhh! A split! Good luck on that one, buddy. Looks like Blue Valentine’s up next. Put your longneck back on the table, no drinks past the step. OK! Show us what you got! Gutterball! Loser! Yo, Lucky Strike! You’re up. C’mon, man, you got two strikes goin’. Concentrate. You can do it. Dude, it’s, it’s, it’s . . . strike! Hell, yes! Turkey time! Check the screen! All right, you’re in the lead, with Blue Valentine bringing up the rear behind Twinkletoes. I’m gonna go plug the jukebox, I’m tired of hearing “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy.� No, dude, I’m not playing “Outshined.� Hey, you wanna split a milkshake? I just had the meatloaf special, I’m not that hungry. Twinkletoes! It’s all you, bro. You left the 10. Pick it up and you’ll be tied. Don’t fall down this time and go sliding down the lane. Remember how they yelled at us last time? After that time you bowled two balls at once and broke the ball return? We’re on thin ice around here, we gotta play it cool. Blue Valentine’s back on the Lord of the Rings pinball machine, so it’ll be a while. Man, this place smells like cheap perfume. Hey, hon, check out the way your teeth look under the black light. What’s mine look like? I can’t even see your lips. Whaddya say we get outta here—I know a place we can go. C’mon.—G.M.

Midnight: Inspiration Points The city’s beautiful from up here. Switch on the radio. Aaahhh . . . Lisa St. Regis, “Between the Sheets.� Cuddle up a little closer. This is where we talk about our dreams, up here on Parker Hill Road in Santa Rosa. Look at the people below—just small, flickering lights, moving slowly through a city that doesn’t matter. Not now, at least. We’re floating above it all. This is where we gaze at the stars, up here on Pressley Road in Rohnert Park. How infinitesimally small everything is. Even the earth, let alone America. Let alone two lovers in an ’85 VW Rabbit. Not here, at least. We’re just two dots. This is where you run your hand over my arm, up here on the Oakville Grade near Napa. We collapse into each other, our familiar movements made strange and beautiful ('

;PcT =XVWc 3X]X]V This is a reprise of our Sept. 3, 2008, roundup of local restaurants open later than 10pm providing something for all budgets, from coffee shops to fine-dining establishments. Many stay open later on Fridays and Saturdays, but only offer an abbreviated menu.

Sonoma County Adel’s Restaurant Coffee shop. $. Breakfast served all day. Open daily until midnight. 456 College Ave., Santa Rosa. 707.578.1003. Barndiva California. $$–$$$. Slow Food. Open Sunday, Wednesday–Thursday, until 11pm; Friday–Saturday, 11:30pm. 231 Center St., Healdsburg. 707.431.0100. Black Bear Diner $. Full menu, two locations. Open Sunday–Thursday until 10pm; Friday–Saturday, midnight. 6255 Commerce Blvd., Rohnert Park. 707.584.8552. Same hours except Friday– Saturday, 11pm. 201 W. Napa St., Sonoma. 707.935.6800. CoCo’s American. $. Coffee shop. Open Sunday–Thursday until 11pm; Friday– Saturday, midnight. 1501 Farmer’s Lane, Santa Rosa. 707.5452626. Flavor California. $–$$. Fresh and organic. Open Monday–Thursday until 10pm; Friday–Saturday, 11pm. 96 Old Courthouse Square, Santa Rosa. 707.573.9695. Hikuni Sushi Bar & Hibachi Japanese. $$$. Chefs grill at table. Daily until 10:30pm. 4100 Montgomery Drive, Santa Rosa. 707.539.9188. Hopmonk Tavern Pub. $$. Upscale pub. Dinner daily until 9:30pm; bar menu, Thursday–Saturday, midnight. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. 707.829.7300. Humble Pie California. $$. Made from scratch at the Black Cat Bar. Open Wednesday–Sunday until midnight; Friday– Saturday, 2am. 10045 Main St., Penngrove, 707.664.8779. La Hacienda Mexican. $$. Family-style Michoacån. Open until 10pm daily. 134 N. Cloverdale Blvd., Cloverdale. 707.894.9365. Mary’s Pizza Shack Italian. $–$$. Local pizza chain. All locations open Sunday–

Thursday until 10:30pm; Friday–Saturday, 11pm. Those with full bars open until midnight. www.maryspizza.com.

415.331.2600. Left Bank French. $$–$$$. Authentic French cuisine. Open Sunday–Monday until 10pm; Tuesday–Saturday, 11pm. 507 Magnolia Ave., Larkspur. 415.927.3331.

McNear’s Sports bar. $–$$. Big appetizers, burgers. Open daily; bar menu to midnight. 21 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. 707.765.2121.

Marin Brewing Co. Pub. $–$$. Excellent pub grub. Open daily until 11:45pm. 1809 Larkspur Landing Circle, Larkspur. 415.461.4677.

Odyssey Restaurant California/ Mediterranean. $$$–$$$$. Fine dining. Open Tuesday–Thursday until 10pm; Friday–Saturday, 11pm. 426 Emily Rose Circle, Windsor. 707.836.7600. Risibisi Italian. $$–$$$. Upscale and urbane. Open Sunday-Thursday until 9:30pm; Friday–Saturday, 10:30pm. 154 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. 707.766.7600. Russian River Brewing Co. Brewpub. $$. Pizza and brews. Open Monday–Thursday until 11:15pm; Friday–Saturday, 12:15am. 725 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. 707.545.2337.

Piatti Italian. $$–$$$. Seasonal Italian. Open Sunday–Thursday until 10pm; Friday–Saturday, 11pm. 625 Redwood Hwy., Mill Valley. 415.380.2525. Poggio Italian. $$–$$$. Authentic Italian. Open Sunday–Thursday until 10pm; Friday–Saturday, 11pm. 777 Bridgeway, Sausalito. 415.332.7771. Sushi Ran Japanese. $$$$. Fresh catches. Open Sun. until 10:30pm; Monday– Saturday, 11pm. 107 Caledonia St., Sausalito. 415.332.3620.

Semolina Italian. $$–$$$. Old favorites. Open Sunday–Thursday until 10pm; Friday– Saturday, 11pm. 600 E. Washington St., Petaluma. 707.766.6975.

Yet Wah Chinese. $$. Yum. Open Monday until 10pm; Tuesday–Sunday, midnight. 1238 Fourth St., San Rafael. 415.460.9883.

Star Restaurant Diner. $. Huge menu. Extra cops. Open daily until midnight. 8501 Gravenstein Hwy., Cotati. 707.795.8836.

Napa County

Starlight Wine Bar Naw’lins. $$. New Orleans flair in a former train caboose. Open Tuesday–Thursday until 10pm; Friday–Saturday, 11pm. 6761 Sebastopol Ave., Sebastopol. 707.823.1943. The Girl & the Fig Bistro. $$$. Country French. Open for dinner daily until 10pm; short menu Friday–Saturday, 11pm. 110 W. Spain St., Sonoma. 707.938.3634. Underwood Bar & Bistro Bistro. $$. Classy bistro menu. Open Sunday–Thursday until 10pm; bar menu, Friday–Saturday, 11pm. 9113 Graton Road, Graton. 707.823.7023.

Marin County

Bistro Jeanty French. $$$. Rich, homey cuisine. Open daily until 10:30pm. 6510 Washington St., Yountville. 707.944.0103. Bouchon French. $$$. French classics. Open daily until 10:30pm; short menu to 12:30am. 6540 Washington St., Yountville. 707.944.8037. Brannan’s Grill California. $$–$$$. Creative cuisine. Open Sunday–Thursday until 10pm; Friday–Saturday, 10:30pm. 1347 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.2233. C.C. Blue Japanese. $$–$$$. Sushi. Open Tuesday–Sunday until 10pm; Thursday– Saturday, 11pm–2am. 1148 Main St., St. Helena. 707.967.9100. Hydro Bar & Grill Grill. $$. Live music on weekends. Sunday–Thursday until 10pm; Friday–Saturday, 11pm. 1403 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.9777.

Benissimo Ristorante & Bar Italian. $$. Neighborhood-style Italian restaurant. Open Sun.–Thurs. until 10pm; Friday– Saturday, 11pm. 18 Tamalpais Drive, Corte Madera. 415.927.2316. Buckeye Roadhouse American. $$–$$$. Stellar. Sun. until 10pm; Monday–Thursday, 10:30pm; Friday–Saturday, 11pm. 15 Shoreline Hwy., Mill Valley.

Zuzu Tapas. $$. Food of the Americas. Open Monday–Thursday until 10pm; Friday–Saturday, 11pm. 829 Main St., Napa. 707.224.8555.

THE BOHEMIAN

—S.D. 05.06.09-05.12.09

31

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and new. I try not to accidentally honk the horn. This is where I knew I loved you, up here at the water tower off Hayes Lane in Petaluma. The way you brushed your hair away as you leaned in over the stick shift. The way one hand curled around the back of my neck and held on for dear life. The other on the unused headrest. This is where nothing else matters, up here on Oakwood Drive in San Rafael. The Ferris wheel below, the midway, the fireworks— mere backdrop for how beautiful you are. We fumble and laugh and get back to it. Your breath, your skin. Your skin. Your skin. The city’s a wide-open playground from up here, and it’s you and me on top of the world. Two young lovers with a dream. Turn up the radio. Aaahhh . . . Barbara Mason, “Yes, I’m Ready.� Cuddle up a little closer. Close your eyes. Let’s get lost in this for just a little while longer.—G.M.

1am: Beach Bonfire

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A beach bonfire perfectly combines all of earth’s elements in a delicate balance: fire, bordered by water, nestled in the earth, and fed by the air. It’s the ideal Zen moment to enjoy and the perfect party setting for staying up all night to greet the dawn. Only one small flaw mars this plan of planetary perfection. Bonfires are illegal on every beach in Sonoma County. Night access is limited to Schoolhouse and Portuguese beaches for those over 18, and camping gear, which somehow includes blankets, is prohibited. Bonfires are a moot point in Napa—no coast. Thankfully, Marin County’s spectacular Pt. Reyes National seashore does allow them. Permits can be obtained the day of the fire fiesta at the Bear Valley Visitors Center and are free. Strict rules and conditions apply, however. If the fire danger is deemed high due to dry conditions and high temperatures, or if winds exceed 30 miles per hour, fires are prohibited. Fire builders can collect driftwood to burn, but are advised to bring their own drier, untreated wood to minimize smoke. Fires cannot exceed three feet at their base, in order to prevent them from growing too tall. They also must be built 30 feet away from any vegetation and below the high tide line if possible, so that the next high tide will wash the ashes and remnants. Fires are quenched with buckets of water, not just buried. Fires covered with sand can continue

to smolder, raising their temperature and causing severe burns to beach walkers who may unknowingly step in them. And lastly, they must be out by midnight. Midnight? So much for staying up and snuggling until the sun also rises.—S.D.

2:20am: Moonlight Hiking

Walking into darkness. Eyes not yet adjusted. Alarming to open eyes so wide and see nothing. The dark closing in all around the irises. She steps. Foot feels out of place. Gravel slides beneath her hiking boots. Branches jump up out of the forest floor to slap her legs. Thrump-ump, thrump-ump, thrump-ump. Deep the heartbeat reverberates in her ears. The sound makes its way to her brain through a cotton gauze. Her breath is thick with saliva. Her panic subsides as they make their way out of the thicket of trees and into an open meadow in the moonlight. On the crest of the hill, they lay out a blanket. The full moon is bright so that the topography of the landscape is clear. They lay back to look at the stars. The sky is stretched just above their noses, as if that heavy, ethereal canvas had been pulled concave above them, and sags just beyond the tops of their heads and the bottoms of their feet. There is something soothing about this sky. Like each of those tiny lights in the sky, her life is an explosion of fire and fury and electricity. Moments of sadness and fear and excitement stack one on top of another to create the seconds in her hours, the hours in her days, the days in her years. And yet, even with such energy and meaning, her life will simply burn out one day, leaving nothing more than a small impression upon the world she once knew intimately. She then thinks of the impact she makes on the world around her. She tries to speak truthfully and with purpose. But she hasn’t moved mountains. There will be no history books that tell her story. Aside from those people who knew her personally, her existence will be altogether forgotten. But then she thinks about people who she still remembers who have passed, and of the great love and laughter that has been a part of her own lifetime. And it doesn’t seem that any of it ever really gets forgotten. Like the stars that have burned out millions of years ago, and yet still create a magnum opus of the sky on a night such as this, she thinks that even in their relative insignificance, they are hugely important. She sighs, emptying all the air from her lungs, and watches the moon sway across the sky.—L.P.

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Robert Ferguson Observatory For a list of events and public viewing, go to www.rfo.org. 2605 Adobe Canyon Road, in Sugarloaf State Park, Kenwood. 707.833.6979. Sonoma State University Observatory For a list of events and public viewings, go to www.phys-astro.sonoma.edu/observatory. Department of Physics and Astronomy, 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. 707.664.2267. Mt. Tamalpais Saturday-evening moonlight hikes depart from Pantoll Ranger Station approximately 15 minutes after sunset. May 9 at 7pm, June 6 at 8:30pm, July 4 at 8:30pm, Aug. 1 at 8pm, Sept. 5 at 7:30pm and Oct. 3 at 6:30pm. 415.258.2410. —L.P.

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27D1 ;>E4 Being a mother needn’t mean just giving up on looking good.

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Moms are saying no to frumpy and yes to fashionable By Beth Hall

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othing takes a young, hip girl out of her low-rise jeans and into her tired sweatpants faster than the advent of motherhood. At no time in a woman’s life is it less easy to stay fashionable than when the baby’s been wailing into the wee hours, your 10-month-old is throwing peas, and the breast-milk police are insisting that you can’t even have a decent glass of wine to drown your stress. Yep, definitely not a super-stylish time. In midfashion crisis, it’s wise to get advice from an impartial party (say, someone who doesn’t have Cheerio dust in her hair and bottles of formula in her purse). Enter none other than Ru Scott, owner of Punch in Santa Rosa. Scott has been bringing fashion to the people for 12 years, and as the head honcho of a thriving retail business, definitely knows about keeping it stylish under a time crunch. Here are a few gems of wisdom that just might get you to throw your husband’s T-shirts back into his drawer and move into the wonderful world of sexy momma.

“Get a babysitter!� Scott admonishes. “Take one hour of the day, and make an appointment with a personal shopper.� Boutiques like Punch offer personal shoppers, meaning that you will get the benefit of a trained eye who knows which clothing will look good with your body type. Personal shoppers will gently guide you into the understanding that just because those jeans looked good on Rihanna in People magazine doesn’t always mean they will be a knockout on you. But some other pair definitely will be perfect for you, and the personal shopper makes it her mission to find them. “People are afraid to ask for help,� Scott says, “but that’s the point of a boutique, that one-on-one service.� OK, but what about the mom who prefers to go the independent route and shop privately? Scott has tips for the five basic items that every woman needs in her clothing repertoire. The first is no surprise: jeans. Everyone loves jeans. Dressy jeans, casual jeans, ripped jeans—but no one should love the dreaded “mom jeans.� You can be a mom without the ‘mom jeans,’�

Scott says. (The dreaded “mom jeans� usually consist of an extraordinarily high waist and tapered legs, accompanied with socks and an unf lattering pair of Keds. This simply will not do for the fashion-conscious mom, and designer jeans are here to save the denim day.) According to Scott, baggy jeans deemed “boyfriend jeans� are raging into style now made popular by such fashionistas as Katie Holmes. Boyfriend jeans are perfect for the new mom with baby weight still hanging on for dear life. If boyfriend jeans aren’t your thing, there are other styles of jeans casual enough for daily wear that still have the necessary touch of style to keep you current. Must-have no. 2: the maxi-dress. Think long, flowing bohemian dress with an interesting print. Not all maxi-dresses need to be tentlike. Many are fitted snugly on top and through the middle, giving a flirty feminine look that can be dressed up or down depending on shoes and accessories. Throw on some ballet flats and a dainty necklace, and you’ve got the perfect outfit for a play date with friends. Cowboy boots lend the maxi-dress a trendier air and flip flops give a “straight-from-the-beach-sexy� look. No. 3: tank-tops. Every mom who calls California home needs a steady stack of well-fitting tank-tops at hand. A nice quality tank-top can be a layering tool worn under a long-sleeved T-shirt or camisole, or can be worn alone with pants or a skirt. No. 4: flowy shirts. Very versatile, very flattering, very comfortable, which really is all you can ask from a piece of clothing. Flowy shirts have made many a preggo sigh with delight, not to mention the postpartum moms who are a little curvier than expected. No. 5: cute flats. Flats can be worn with practically anything. Jeans, shorts, dresses, skirts, you name it and an adorable pair of flats in a bright color will make it just that much better. Not all moms can afford the “musthave� items. Some women find it a personal accomplishment to throw a couple of T-shirts into their cart while at Target buying baby wipes. Some scoff on principal at paying designer prices at trendy boutiques. For these moms, good news is here. The economy, though crappy in a lot of ways, brings with it the little unexpected treat of lower clothing prices. According to Scott, many stores are offering large discounts on merchandise, and designers are actually lowering the original price of clothing to fall more in line with what people are willing to pay. “We have a whole line of price-conscious jeans,� Scott says. “[You can get jeans at] practically Gap prices, but still wear designer brands.� Some moms have the funds but are lacking the fashion inspiration. Scott encourages moms to stay tuned into fashion, and believes that when you do, the inspiration will come. Paying attention to fashionable women with eye-catching style is a great place to start. Deconstruct their clothing to figure out what you like about it and how you can emulate it. At your favorite coffee shop, at a restaurant, in magazines, on television, these are all places to get ideas. “Some women get into ruts or they’re afraid to try new things,� Scott says. “You can dress conservatively and practically and still be current and in style.� Sometimes a wellfitting tee, jeans and a sweet little pair of flats can be just the thing. THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

33

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2A>F343 7>DB4 Michael Storm and Stephen Klum take on 20 characters.

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Brilliant acting is the highlight of an unevenly paced ‘Greater Tuna’

By David Templeton

6

reater Tuna, an outrageously goof ball, darkly tinged satire set in the rustic burg of Tuna (the third smallest town in Texas), successfully manages to be two opposing things at once: smart as a whip and dumb as a post. Actually, that sounds like something that Tuna’s smut-fighting Rev. Spikes might say in one of his hilariously clichĂŠ-packed sermons. As in the scene in which Spikes improvises a eulogy crammed with words entirely devoid of meaning (“He was a fine, upstanding citizen who practiced what he preached, put his best foot forward and his money where his mouth is!â€?), Greater Tuna, and its three popular sequels, appeals to people with the taste and tolerance for extremely broad comedy, but has also won the loyalty of higher-brow folks who happen to have escaped from the kind of gleefully racist, homespun, semi-illiterate Southern town that Tuna is a simultaneous love letter to and savage skewering of. The award-winning, 28-year-old, two-actor comedy, covering several days in the life of the denizens of Tuna, Texas, is the second Tuna play in six months to be presented by the Pacific Alliance Stage Company. Last December, PASCO delivered A Tuna Christmas, technically the second in the popular series by authors Jaston Williams, Joe Sears and Ed Howard. Once again, actors Stephen Klum and Michael Storm do brilliant work under the direction of

artistic director Hector Correa. In a tradition that started with the first performances of Greater Tuna in Austin, Texas, in 1981 (with authors Williams and Sears the original performers), all 20-plus roles, male and female, are performed by two actors, requiring Zenlike concentration to keep all the characters distinct, and some rapid-fire costume changes, many of them taking less than 15 seconds. Both Storm and Klum admirably tackle the challenges with inventive performances, incredibly detailed physicality and some truly ingenious voice work. Storm displays a talent for defining characters through a series of well-defined body languages, giving each one a peculiar limp, twist, hunch, stroll or strut. Storm’s characterization of Pearl Burras, an elderly woman addicted to killing the town’s dogs with poison; the imperious Bertha Bumiller, a leading member of the Smut Snatchers of the New Order; the aforementioned Rev. Spikes; and Thurston Wheelis, one of two unflappable talk-show hosts on Tuna’s decidedly rural OKKK radio station (“Beef is up, pork is down, chickens are vacillating�), are particularly strong. Klum (known to regular PASCO audiences for his fine performances in Proof, Sylvia and others) does stunning work as well, showing a skill for falsetto-voiced children and women never hinted at in his other performances at Spreckels. Notable are Klum’s portrayals of overweight teenage poetess Charlene Bumiller, who dreams of becoming a cheerleader; adolescent Joey Bumiller, who loves dogs as much as Aunt Pearl hates them; soft-hearted Petey Fisk, whose efforts on behalf of the local SPCA include his frequent appearances on OKKK to sing the praises of the un-adoptable Yippee, a hyperactive Chihuahua; Arles Struvie, the other talk-show host on OKKK; and Stanley, a reform-school sociopath who is Aunt Pearl’s dog-killing accomplice and who may have been the notso-accidental cause of a local judge’s untimely recent demise. As Klum and Storm leap in and out of character, the shenanigans of Tuna’s smallminded townsfolk are certainly funny, but for all of the first-rate acting, there is something strangely uneven about this production. Perhaps it’s the leisurely pace determined by the director. This sort of entertainment is best served fast and furious, like a Mel Brooks spoof or one of those Airplane-type comedies. When Greater Tuna is funny, the show is a certified side-splitter, and that is reason enough to recommend it. Unfortunately, there are a few too many moments when the satire just sits there, as the with the local radio station’s regular KKK reports, delivered by a benign Klansman who is so casual and upbeat about announcing upcoming Klan activities he could be describing the annual Rotary crab feed. Brilliant? Sure. Funny? Not really. And yet, for a night of solid, off-beat amusement with big dose of strychnine, PASCO’s Greater Tuna is a whole lot better than OKKK. ‘Greater Tuna’ runs Thursday–Sunday through May 17 at the Spreckels Performing Arts Center. Thursday at 7:30pm; Friday–Saturday at 8pm; Sunday at 2:30pm. 5409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park. $17–$24. 707.588.3400.

Did you attend Brush Creek Nursery School? We’re looking for you! Brush Creek Nursery School is celebrating its 50th anniversary and we’re looking for alumnus. Please check out our website at brushcreekschool.org for more information about upcoming celebrations. Don't miss our 11th annual Evening in Paradise at Legends at Bennett Valley Golf Club on Saturday, May 16th. We also currently have openings for three and four year olds for Summer and Fall 2009. Looking for a quality start for your child? Give us a call to set up a tour: 539-1612. We’re located in lovely Rincon Valley, Santa Rosa.

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05.06.09-05.12.09

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May 8 & 9 8:00 p.m.

369:

Photograph of Jaime Woicicki by Jeff Thomas

May 9 & 10 2:00 p.m.

“Messages� The SRJC Annual Dance Concert

Burbank Auditorium on the Santa Rosa campus of SRJC

Tickets $8 to $17

707-527-4343 www.santarosa.edu/theatrearts/

BF44C Nora Arnezeder plays dance-hall dolly Douce in this reimagining of old Paris.

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‘Paris 36’ is an expensive attempt to prove they can’t make them like they used to By Richard von Busack

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bald, plump, meek little man named Pigoil (GĂŠrard Jugnot) turns himself in to the coppers for murder. They ask him where he’s from. The Faubourg, he replies. “Which Faubourg?â€? the cop asks: “The Faubourg,â€? Pigoil answers. And Paris 36 unfolds in a working-class fantasyland, an imaginary quartier of Paris held down by the peeling old Chansonia Theater. In France, 1936 was a year of economic depression and political strife. I had a history teacher who claimed that Leon Blum’s premiership, along with Woodrow Wilson’s presidency, was proof that teachers should never lead countries. Still, Blum’s shaky, left-wing coalition government brought in the 40-hour week and two weeks annual vacation, as well as a brief interlude of peace before France fell to fascism. This busy, badly edited, graceless musical has a heady background. It also has a huge inventory of traditional music-hall tunes from the 1930s that it could have used, and didn’t. Paris 36 does have some elements you can sink into: photographer Tom Stern’s rich color and the golden gleam of its female star, Nora Arnezeder, who plays a novice singer called “Douceâ€? (“Sweetâ€?). But director Christophe Barratier’s camera sets some kind of record for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. In Czechoslovakia, technicians built an ambitious set to look like Paris back when it was Paris. Consistently, Barratier makes sure you can’t see it. The plot follows the actors and stagehands making a co-op out of the shuttered Chansonia. Though they get it up and running, the workers are unable

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THE BOHEMIAN

to escape the shadow of the wealthy thug landlord Galpiat (Bernard-Pierre Donnadieu), who is connected to highpowered fascist circles. This heavy has also appointed himself as a “protectorâ€? to Douce. Douce’s true love is the stage manager, Milou (Clovis Cornillac), a socialist organizer who can’t keep Douce in the style to which she would like to be accustomed. As for Pigoil, he has lost custody of his beloved son, Jojo (Maxence Perrin), a musette whiz. In Joe Bob Briggs’ phrase, here is a plot that gets in the way of the story. The musical scenes start up and are brutally curtailed in midsong, and then there’s yet another bad cut to one of the less interesting subplots. The theater goes out of business one too many times. Douce herself doesn’t show up until a half-hour after the film begins, and she doesn’t really get a chance to shine until her last number, a death ballad called “EntĂŠrĂŠe Sous le Bal.â€? One wonders if there’s as much oldburlesque and vaudeville revivalism in France as there is in the United States—if there were performers who could have been used for this film. Kad Merad’s Jacky, who holds down one arc of the film, does dreadful imitations before he finds a spot as a rapid-patter-song specialist. Then you need to wonder why it took so long to establish that Jacky had a hidden talent, after suffering through his lousy stage act. We see so much more of his terrible bird calls than we do of the singers who seem to have talent. The film’s wrong-foot-forward approach never fails, right up to the Stella Dallas ending. ‘Paris 36’ opens on Friday, May 8, at the Rialto Cinemas Lakeside, 551 Summerfield Road, Santa Rosa. 707.525.4840.

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reater Tuna

“Howlingly funny.” Variety

May 6 through

May 17 Spreckels Performing Arts Center 5409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park www.spreckelsonline.com

Box Office: 588-3400

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A MIGHTY HEART PARIS 36

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05.06.09-05.12.09

THE BOHEMIAN

0B0=0 Nick Rosen turns his life upside down in ‘Enlighten Up!’

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Where Summer Starts !

June 24 to 28

Free Concerts Free Carnival Rides Free Exhibits, Shows, Attractions Five Days of Fun all included in low admission price $15 Adults (13 & up) $10 Juniors (4 to 12) • $8 Seniors (65 & over) Want a peek? Preview it all at

www.sonoma-marinfair.org

Josh Gracin • Night Ranger The Charlie Daniels Band • Bret Michaels

WORLD’S UGLIEST DOG CONTEST WITH ANIMAL PLANET EQUINE EXTRAVAGANZA • DESTRUCTION DERBY (ADD $5) Sea Lion Encounter • Wine Tasting • Backyard Habitats & Farming Farm to Table Showcase • Seniors’ Social Club • Chef Demos Teen Edge Concert & Fashion Show • Petting Zoo • Wild Science Fiesta Latina • Livestock Walk • plus much more!

707-283-FAIR (3247)

40

05.06.09-05.12.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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performance last year of “Superwoman� on the American Music Awards with Alicia Keys and Queen Latifah would think of Battle as an opera singer, and yet since her professional debut in 1972, singing Brahms’ Ein Deutsch Requiem, she’s been one of the world’s best. Battle has also displayed, at times, a temperament worthy of her last name; she was actually dismissed from the Met in 1994, citing unprofessional actions. A retirement from opera immediately followed, but her recitals and concert appearances the world over are the stuff of legend. Expect a combination of arias, standards and spirituals when Battle drops into town on Saturday, May 9, at the Marin Center. 10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. 8pm. $35–$70. 415.499.6800.

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Keen on Sakakeeny With 10 years of bringing excellent and free classical music to Sonoma County, the time is now to stand up and salute the American Philharmonic and its director Gabriel Sakakeeny. What began as a small Cotati orchestra has now grown into one of the county’s most forward-thinking ensembles, with Sakakeeny always making interesting and daring program choices. This weekend, he unveils his own composition, the world premiere of The Lion and the Rose, a piece for mezzo-soprano, chorus and orchestRounding out the thrilling program is another world premiere (Charles Sepos’ Pentangle), an all-time

classic piano concerto (Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto no. 1) and a challenging, thundering finale (Ravel’s Daphnis et ChloÊ Suite no. 2). The two performances this weekend celebrate a fantastic decade—and provide a wonderful and free Mother’s Day outing—Saturday–Sunday, May 9–10, at the Wells Fargo Center. 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. Saturday at 8pm; Sunday at 3pm. Free. 707.542.8234.

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Battlemania Probably the only woman in history to sing for Stevie Wonder, James Levine, Bono, Herbert von Karajan, Wynton Marsalis and the pope, Kathleen Battle is a modern wonder, with an ability to adapt to any setting while avoiding the “crossover� tag. Few who witnessed her

for selling tapes on Telegraph Avenue and hosting a series of “Broke Ass Summer Jam� concerts. Talent intervened, however, and now the rapper with the birth name of Nick Carter (you’d change your name too if you shared it with a Backstreet Boy) has been seen on tour with Atmosphere, in the independent film Walk Like a Man and as an occasional host on CurrentTV. MURS is possibly the most East Coast–sounding MC to live exclusively on the West Coast, with a direct, understandable style more indebted to Masta Ace than Rodney O., although he represents California with a fervor—he’s even got a rib-length “Cloverdale� tattoo (it ref lects the area off Wilshire and La Brea in L.A.). Tech N9ne, who headlines the show, knows a thing or two about the hustle himself, although instead of selling tapes on the street, he usually erects an enormous merch booth. Both appear on Saturday, May 9, at the Phoenix Theater. 201 E. Washington St., Petaluma. 8pm. $26–$30. 707.762.3565.

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You Is My Woman

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“It took a long time for my mother to accept that I was going to go into the entertainment industry,� said Simone, daughter of Nina Simone, in a recent interview. “When I told my parents, neither one of them were very happy at all. It wasn’t until Broadway embraced me, and I was going onstage as Mimi in Rent, that they both came to the show and were like, ‘Well! Maybe you do have a little talent!’� Of course, Simone’s mother, one of the most unique interpreters of jazz—and then, in the ’70s, of popular song— didn’t get a very fair shake from the entertainment industry, and Simone is careful to avoid both the industry pitfalls and the perils of comparison (it’s an easy peril to avoid; the only singer possibly to compare to Nina Simone, the greatest female singer to sound like a man, is Jimmy Scott, the greatest male singer to sound like a woman). With the Napa Valley Symphony, she pays tribute to her mother, now six years gone but deathless in the annals of American music, on Saturday, May 9, at the Lincoln Theater. 100 California Drive, Yountville. 8pm. $35–$60. 707.226.8742.

Julie ChavĂŠz Rodriguez, the granddaughter and torch-bearer of civil and labor rights activist CĂŠsar ChavĂŠz, was introduced to the plight of the farmworker in early childhood and hasn’t abandoned the fight since. Now the program director for the CĂŠsar E. ChavĂŠz Foundation, she works with youth in Latino communities toward more involvement and self-empowerment, upholding her grandfather’s idea that “we don’t need perfect political systems, we need perfect participation.â€? ChavĂŠz Rodriguez has developed numerous afterschool programs based on CĂŠsar ChavĂŠz’s ideals, and has even developed a web-based K–12 curriculum on the life and work of her grandfather. She also works hand in hand with the United Farm Workers on issues like voter registration and activist programs, and tours the country giving speeches which share her personal memories of her grandfather’s work and promote education, human rights, community service and justice for all. She speaks on Monday, May 11, at Sonoma State University Cooperage. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. 7:30pm. Free. 707.664.2382.

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On the Come Up Coming up with the Living Legends crew in the East Bay, MURS was once known best

THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

41

Dinner and a Show

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Take a scenic drive for a unique dining experience

Reservations advised “A Historic West Marin Landmark�

EST. 1941

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20 min from downtown Petaluma, 25 min from everywhere else!

Concerts

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Thank you for making us your top vote!

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Volker Strifler Band

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8:30pm / $12

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Best Place to Dance Marin County Fri

May 8 Red Hot Blues! Sat

May 9

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Lavay Smith and her Red Hot Skillet Lickers 8:30pm / $15

Sun

May 10

Mother’s Day Brunch Buffet 10am–3pm Adults $2695 / Seniors (65+) $2295 Children under 10/$1695

May 15 The Best Petty Tribute and More! 8:30pm / $12 Sat

May 16

Rolling Stones 8:30pm / $15

The Carlene Carter

Fri

May 22 Band

Country Legend

The Rancho Allstars

Fri

May 29 Featuring Takezo 8:30pm / $12

Tom Rigney May 30 & Flambeau Sat

2009 BBQ’s On the Lawn! Special Pre-Season BBQ / $25

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND Sun

May 24 Mon

The Flatlanders May 25 and Colin Gilmore $32 / $35 Sun

Jun 21

$32 / $35

4TH OF JULY WEEKEND Sat

July 4 Sun

July 5

The Zydeco Flames $15 / Children under 10/$5

The Sun Kings $15

On the Town Square • Nicasio

415.662.2219 Take D St to Pt. Reyes–Petaluma Road THE BOHEMIAN

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Left on Nicasio Valley Road

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The Avett Brothers

May 17 are back!

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8:30pm / $12

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Petty Theft

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Christette Michele’s broken heart hile Keyshia Cole sets out this week on a nationwide tour with Keri Hinson, Christette Michele makes a case for being added to the R&B Grammy triumvirate with her new album, Epiphany, out this week. Not to be confused with the T-Pain album of the same name, the album is also an antidote to Pain’s processed vocals and slangy lyrics. Michele’s a jazz singer at heart, but one wouldn’t know it from her guest appearances on hiphop songs (Jay-Z’s “Lost One,â€? the Roots’ “Rising Up,â€? Nas’ “Can’t Forget About Youâ€?). Epiphany should set the record slightly straight. Michele introduced her gospel-tinged contralto to the world with her Grammy-nominated Def Jam debut I Am in 2007, containing the Alicia-Keys-by-way-of-WhitneyHouston single “If I Had My Wayâ€? and a Corrine Bailey Rae knockoff tune, “Best of Me.â€? As if under pressure or duress, Def Jam lazily promoted a third single, “Love Is You,â€? which has the 24-year-old singer beautifully channeling her inner Billie Holiday—if Billie Holiday were happy and in love. (It’s a big “if,â€? but it works.) Seemingly written entirely to displace Etta James’ “At Lastâ€? as the wedding song for a new generation, “Love Is Youâ€? ultimately went nowhere, and Michele went back into the studio with Ghostface Killah. “I wanted to make songs that were more edgy, youthful and urban,â€? Michele has said of her new album, and one wonders if she’s speaking from the heart or just chirping out industry patter. Either way, Epiphany expands Michele’s stylistic palette into pop and hip-hop soul, and it’s a surprisingly rewarding side trip. The title track alone is a brokenhearted rival to BeyoncÊ’s “Irreplaceableâ€? for kiss-off song of the aughts, and the Ne-Yo–penned “Another Oneâ€? struts between hip-hop beats and electric guitars. In “Notebook,â€? a whistleregister ode to the teenage diary, Michele says that “only my notebook knows how I feel,â€? but anyone listening between the lines of Epiphany can hear how Michele really feels: she’s simply dying to make an acoustic jazz trio record one of these days. Let’s hope Def Jam is as open-minded as she is. Gabe Meline

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THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

43

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ELEVENTH

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5POJOIP )PSUB 5SJP with special guest "JSUP 5SJP EB 1B[ -FOZ "OESBEF with 4UFQIBOJF 0[FS &TQFSBO[B 4QBMEJOH 2VBSUFU +VMJBO -BHF (SPVQ 0BLMBOE *OUFSGBJUI (PTQFM $IPJS 3JDIBSE )PXFMM 2VJOUFU .POUDMBJS 8PNFO¾T #JH #BOE 3*4*/( 45"34 $0/$&35 %FCCJF 1PSZFT +BTPO #PEMPWJDI BOE /PBN -FNJTI &EEJF .BSTIBMM 5SJP #JMMZ )JHHJOT -FHBDZ #BOE featuring "[BS -BXSFODF BOE )FOSZ 'SBOLMJO -PSDB )BSU 5SJP #FOOZ #BSUI 5SJP (SVQP 'BMTP #BJBOP +B[[ 5BTUJOHT ° music and wine pairings at tasting rooms around the Plaza

WWW.HEALDSBURGJAZZFESTIVAL.ORG O R B Y P H O N E AT

1-800-838-3006 WA L K - I N T I C K E T S A L E S

Levin & Company 306 Center Street, Healdsburg (Cash or Credit Card) Last Record Store 1899 Mendocino Ave, Santa Rosa (Cash and Checks) Tickets are on sale at the venues on the day of the event, subject to availability.

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MAJOR SPONSORS

Murphy-Goode Santa Rosa Systems OFFICIAL SPONSORS

Hotel Healdsburg Rodney Strong Vineyards BUSINESS SPONSORS Gallo Family Vineyards Graphite Studio Healdsburg Tribune Healdsburg|Sotheby’s Horizon Air KCSM Jazz 91.1 KPFA Radio 94.1 KRCB Radio 91 Healdsburg Lodging Coalition North Coast Brewing Company Bohemian

TA S T I N G R O O M S P O N S O R S

Artiste Winery

Bottle Barn/Wine Annex Topel Winery

W W W. H E A L D S B U R G J A Z Z F E S T I VA L . O R G

Best New Restaurant

Thursday Night Film Nights 9pm Movie $15 Prefix Menu of rotating Apps and an Entree

$20 Bottles 4 Classic Films Undeniably Fun! May May May May

7th Delicatessen 17th Romancing the Stone 21st Harold and Maude 28th Say Anything

greens • handmade pasta • thin crust Italian pizza • organic & biodynamic wines

707.829.1077 7385 Healdsburg Ave, Suite 101 Sebastopol, CA Mon–Fri 7am-9pm, Fri & Sat till 10pm Sat & Sun: brunch 10am-2:30pm, dinner 5-9pm www.peterlowells.com

44

05.06.09-05.12.09

THE BOHEMIAN

8 0< 0 CA44 Arboles, an indie-folk duo of childhood friends Dan Schwer and Marc Ikeda (camera-shy, in the background), play a CD-release show May 9 in Santa Rosa. See Concerts, p42.

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<>A4 BD<<4AC8<4 <03=4BB Festivals, wineries, summer seasons and more

usic bookings just keep pouring in these days, and the Napa Valley Opera House’s just-announced season is full of legends who rarely play such small venues. The intimate theater hosts the Wallflowers (June 18), Joan Baez (July 6), Sarah Chang (July 18), Bruce Hornsby (Aug. 15) and a double dose of New Orleans with the Neville Brothers and Dr. John together (above, Sept. 7). The Opera House’s annual fundraising gala, a full-blown affair with tickets starting at $350, features the biggest booking score of them all: Pink Martini, direct from Carnegie Hall (Oct. 3). The Opera House also sponsors Motown legend Smokey Robinson at Robert Mondavi Winery, in a series across the valley that marks the 40th anniversary season of the Mondavi’s Summer Festival Concert series. Debuting in 1969 with a ticket price of $3, the festival has since included such greats as Ella Fitzgerald, Tony Bennett, Buena Vista Social Club, Benny Goodman, Sarah Vaughn, Lena Horne, Stan Getz and many, many more. This year, it’s Robinson (Aug.1), a 4th of July celebration with the Preservation Hall Jazz Band (July 4), Natalie Cole (July 18), Ozomatli (July 11), the indefatigable B-52’s (June 27) and KC & the Sunshine Band (July 25). The Wells Fargo Center continues its hot streak with a stellar season including Tears for Fears (July 14), Madeleine Peyroux (Aug. 5), Huey Lewis and the News (Aug. 13), Elvis Costello (Aug. 21), Diana Krall (Aug. 25), Sheryl Crow (Sept. 1) and, in a rare onstage conversation sponsored by CopperďŹ eld’s Books, Broadway legend Stephen Sondheim (Oct. 24). Coming in 2010: Anthony Bourdain (Jan. 13) and Dave Brubeck (March 24). Up in Healdsburg, the Rodney Strong Vineyards Concert Series tips the smooth jazz scales with Peter White and Mindi Abair (June 27), the Rippingtons and Craig Chaquico (July 11), and Euge Groove, Jeff Golub, Jeff Lorber and Jessy J (Aug. 8). Blues torcher Susan Tedeschi stops in with JJ Grey & Mofro (Aug. 22), and the whole series wallops to a rock ’n’ soul ďŹ nale with AM hit makers Hall and Oates (Sept. 7). The Sausalito Art Festival, an annual event of art and music since 1952, celebrates the 40th anniversary of Woodstock with “The Heroes of Woodstock 40th Anniversary Tributeâ€? (Sept. 6). Among the love-in rockers resurrecting the old spirit are Jefferson Starship, Canned Heat, Big Brother and the Holding Co., Quicksilver Messenger Service and Tom Constanten. The whole thing’s hosted by Country Joe McDonald, who’ll no doubt reprise his famous â€œďŹ shâ€? cheer. Other highlights at the festival include Night Ranger (Sept. 5) and Johnny Winter (Sept. 6). Just north of Sausalito, the Novato Art and Music Festival turns Grant Avenue into a city-wide block party with wine, art booths, craft areas and a kids’ zone. Among the bands playing are the Unauthorized Rolling Stones, the Edge and Tommy Castro (June 13), and Tom Rigney and Flambeau, Shana Morrison, Poor Man’s Whiskey and Wonderbread 5 (June 14). Gabe Meline

M

STOMPY JONES Sat, May 9

Wed, May 6 8:45-9:45am & 5:45-6:45 Jazzercise 10:00-12:15pmScottish Dance Youth and Family 7:00-10:00pmSingles & Pairs Square Dance Club Thurs, May 7 8:45-9:45am & 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 10:00–11:00am Zumba with Patricia 7:25-10:30pm Circles & Squares Square Dance Club Fri, May 8 8:45-9:45am Jazzercise 10:30-11:30am Intro to ZUMBA with Anna 7:30pm California Ballroom $10 Sat, May 9 8:00-9:00am & 9:15-10:15pm Jazzercise 7:00pm DJ Steve Luther presents STOMPY JONES $15 Sun, May 10 8:30-9:30am Jazzercise 10:15–11:15pm Zumba with Anna 5:00–9:30pm DJ Steve Luther Country-Western Lessons & Dancing $10 Mon, May 11 8:45-9:45am & 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 3:30pm WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING Weigh in 3:30, Meeting 4:00

7:00pm Scottish Country Dancing Tues, May 12 8:45-9:45am & 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 9:30am WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING Weigh in 9:30, Meeting 10:00

12:00–1:00am Zumba with Patricia 7:15pm AFRICAN AND WORLD MUSIC DANCE with Victoria Strowbridge

Santa Rosa’s Social Hall since 1922 1400 W. College Avenue • Santa Rosa, CA 707.539.5507 • www.monroe-hall.com THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

45

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the last day saloon nightclub & restaurant DON’T FORGET‌WE SERVE FOOD TOO!

Mc Near’s Dining House

the best place for live music, dancing and dining 9:30 PM SHOW > $8/10 > REGGAE ROCK

5/7

Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner BBQ • Pasta • Steak

THE B FOUNDATION

FRI 5/8 • 7:00PM DOORS • $20 • 21+ ROCK/BLUES

+ BALLYHOO! 8:30 PM SHOW > $15 > MOTOWN

5/8

TOMMY CASTRO PLUS THE ACES SAT 5/9 • 8:00PM DOORS • $15 • 21+ ROCK/BLUES

CD RELEASE PARTY PLUS THE BROTHERS COMATOSE FRI 5/15 • 8:00PM DOORS • $15 • 21+ COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS

THE DEVIL MAKES THREE PLUS HILLSTOMP & MONTANA SLIM STRING BAND SAT 5/16 • 7:00PM DOORS • $15 • 21+ RUSSIAN ROCK

SUN 5/17 • 7:00PM DOORS • $20 • 21+ NEW ORLEANS ROCK

COWBOY MOUTH

8:00 PM SHOW > $15 > COMEDY

COMEDY NIGHT FEATURING

MARK PITTA + ELLIS RODRIGUEZ HOSTED BY JEFF BLAZY OF THE BLAZY & BOB SHOW

5/12

7:30 PM SHOW > ACOUSTIC > ALL AGES

DARREN O'BRIEN CRUZ MONTANO 5/13

PLUS ELDER’S

THE SUN KINGS & UNAUTHORIZED ROLLING STONES PLUS SOLID AIR

+ ROMANTICA

BVg^c Aji]ZgVc 8]jgX]

9:00 PM SHOW > $15 > 80'S DANCE

8:00 PM SHOW > $5 > ROCK

2:00 PM SHOW > $10 > BLUES ROCK

8:30 PM SHOW > $7/10 > IMPROV

5/26

8:30 PM SHOW > $12/15 > ROCK

RED + SINCE OCTOBER + FACING BINARY

SAT 6/20 • 7:00PM DOORS • $25 • 21+ ROCK

all shows are 21+ unless noted

DICK DALE

get reserved show seating with advance dinner reservations

PLUS

FOREVER CAME CALLING

for reservations: 707.545.5876

For All Ages Shows • No Children Under 6 Allowed

23 Petaluma Blvd, Petaluma

707.545.2343

707-765-2121

120 5th street @ davis street santa rosa, ca

www.mcnears.com 46

05.06.09-05.12.09

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lastdaysaloon.com

THE BOHEMIAN

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WORLD'S BIGGEST COMEDY DUO

DAN HICKS & THE HOT LICKS

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5/22

THUR 6/18 • 7:00PM DOORS • $22ADV/$25DOS • 21+ JAZZ/FOLK/SWING

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8:00 PM SHOW > $15 > ALT FOLK

Sky & Derek (of The Aces) + Michael Barclay + Blues Burners + Blues Defenders + Brother Cat + Levi Lloyd + Bill Noteman & The Rockets + Dr. Joel Rudinow + Volker Strifler Band

PLUS JEKYL

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MUSICIANS RALLY FOR RON THOMPSON FEATURING

FRI 6/5 • 7:00PM DOORS • $15 • 21+ BEATLES & ROLLING STONES TRIBUTE BAND

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CARRIE RODRIGUEZ

5/17

AC/DSHE

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SFARZO ALL STAR PARTY BASH WITH OVER 30 MUSICIANS

SAT 5/30 • 8:00PM DOORS • $15 • 21+ ALL FEMALE AC/DC TRIBUTE

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5/16

WAKE THE DEAD

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7:30 PM SHOW > $5 > POP FOLK > ALL AGES

+ DJ ON-QUE

FRI 5/29 • 8:00PM DOORS • $20 • 21+ CELTIC GRATEFUL DEAD JAM BAND

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TAINTED LOVE

AND THE RIVER BAND

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5/15

PLUS DUSTY RHODES

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+ DJ ON-QUE

5/14

THE RED ELVISES

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PRIDE & JOY

UNI & HER UKELELE

IGOR AND

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5/9

POOR MAN’S WHISKEY

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Rembrandt Van Rijn

Sordid and Sacred: The Beggars in Rembrandt’s Etchings

April 18th thru June 7th, 2009 Organized by Landau Traveling Exhibitions of Los Angeles, CA

Lecture with Ann Wiklund Rembrandt: His Life, His Art, His World Friday, April 24th, 2009 at 7:00 p.m.

and Gestures of Compassion:

Al Farrow’s Beggars

see more at the

SONOMA VALLEY MUSEUM of ART

551 Broadway Sonoma, CA 95476 s www.svma.org Open Wednesdays - Sundays: 11:00 am - 5:00 pm

curated by Chester Arnold

THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

47

contemporary, upscale and uniquely stylish

Unwind! $5 House Martini $

4 beer

:B@60

red, white & sparkling wine

until 6pm, Mon-Fri

F U L L B A R N S M A L L P L AT E S

707-573-0522

96 OLD COURTHOUSE SQUARE, SANTA ROSA www.upperfourth.com ;>=6 H>D ;8E4 0=3 7867 H>D 5;H Josh Brough, the David Gilmour of the banjo.

BW^^cX]V cWT <^^]

Poor Man’s Whiskey court impassioned novelty with ‘Dark Side’ By Gabe Meline

F ...where ... where SUMMER

STARTS! TS!!

Want a peak? Preview it all at

www.sonoma-marinfair.org

June 24-28 Petaluma Fairgroundss boho-mini ad.indd 1

48

05.06.09-05.12.09

THE BOHEMIAN

3/30/09 10:03:07 PM

hen the members of Poor Man’s Whiskey get an idea in their heads, there’s no shaking it. Learning the entire 10 minutes of “Freebird� to punish hecklers? Check. Learning “Bohemian Rhapsody� to close out an epic appearance at the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival in San Francisco? Check. Mashing up Patsy Cline’s “Crazy� with Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy,� just because it seemed, well, crazy? Check. And then there’s Dark Side of the Moonshine, released this week. It’s Poor Man’s Whiskey’s most ambitious idea yet. It’s borderline foolish, actually, taking the most beloved rock album of all time and reimagining classics like “Breathe� and “Time� into bluegrass hoedowns. Who— other than those who’ve swam the Dark Side waters before, like Easy Star All Stars, Dream Theater and Phish—would be so, well, crazy? “Once we decided to record the album,� says PMW’s Jason Beard, cognizant of the slippery slope between tribute and novelty, “we didn’t want to make it a parody. We wanted to make sure it maintained the integrity, as opposed to using it as a gimmick. Hopefully that comes through. It came from a very pure spot.� That pure spot, Beard tells me over pizza at a downtown brewpub, was first hearing Dark Side of the Moon in fourth grade. Years

later, out in the garage, he started playing along to it on his mandolin. Something clicked. He started writing arrangements. He stayed up all night. He brought it to the band. They thought it was ridiculous. Once rehearsals began, everything clicked. Band members clucked and woofed to replace the alarm clocks at the beginning of “Time.� “Money� became “Whiskey,� played in 7/8, 4/4 and 2/4 time. For their world premiere, the band hired lasers, a fog machine and a psychedelic light show. A second go-round in San Francisco had a Wizard of Oz theme, complete with flying monkeys, band members dressed as movie characters and a yellow brick road. Both shows sold out. The ridiculous idea had prevailed. Beard is athletic, with short hair, in a Fila sweatshirt and jeans. He never played an instrument until college, when he joined a psychedelic rock trio in Isla Vista. “It was an incredible music scene down there,� Beard says, recalling house parties with Rage Against the Machine and Jack Johnson. “On weekend nights, in front yards, we’d have 10 bands playing in town, parties going on, people in the middle of the streets. People burning couches all the time.� Beard and his band mates Eli Jebediah and Josh Brough switched to acoustic instruments and moved back up to Sonoma County, and the newly christened Poor Man’s Whiskey quickly gained a reputation for unabashed entertainment value. While most newgrass outfits and O Brother hangerson presented a dry, “authentic� version of serious bluegrass music, Poor Man’s Whiskey kept aflame the most old-time idea of all: getting the townfolk together down in the holler and creating a great time. They starting hitting the festivals, recorded a couple self-released CDs, and honed their modern vaudeville with high concepts and hijinks. Word got around. Robert Earl Keen joined them onstage in Tahoe. If Dark Side of the Moonshine can successfully elude the novelty realm of Luther Wright and the Wrongs’ Rebuild the Wall and Hayseed Dixie’s Hillbilly Tribute to AC/DC—and it should—then listeners will surely pop in the album’s second disc, a collection of original songs. “Easy Come� tells the story of stopping into a Bodega Bay bar and learning life lessons from a grizzled fisherman, while “Alley Tramp� wanders through dark Kurt Weill–esque backstreets, complete with horns and haunted-house backup vocals. The band, realizing the value in touring out of the area, is clearly on a roll, and this year is Poor Man’s Whiskey’s busiest yet. They’re hopping in their 40-foot tour bus (“It’s a monstrosity,� Beard laughs) to all the major West Coast Festivals: Strawberry, High Sierra, Hardly Strictly, Oysterfest, Kate Wolf. They’re taking Dark Side of the Moonshine on tour. They’re even hitting small towns, like Cloverdale, to create some old-time fun. Beard thinks about the upcoming year. He shakes his head at it all, smiling. “I’m basically living the dream,� he says. “What more could I want?� Poor Man’s Whiskey appears live in the studio on the KRSH 95.9-FM on Thursday, May 7, at 8pm. The band also performs at a CD release party, performing original songs, on Saturday, May 9, at the Mystic Theatre, 23 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. 9pm. $15. 707.765.2121

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05.06.09-05.12.09

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Tues-Fri 7:30-6:00 321 Second Street

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<0A: H>DA 20;4=30A Historian Reza Aslan speaks about his new book, ‘Modern Global Islam: The Hijacked Identity of Islam in the Modern World,’ next Wednesday, May 13, in Healdsburg.

50

05.06.09-05.12.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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Saturday May 16th

A Celebration of All Things Fermented! Salmon Creek School 1935 Bohemian Hwy

Noon to 4:30 p.m. Everything Fermented Sample a wide variety of Fermented Food and Drink Alchemical Speakers - Exhibitors- Tastes - Demonstrations - Displays- Fun

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Noon to 8 p.m. - Music Stage - Festivities Samba - Drums - Rock - Vocalists & Kid’s activities OpenHouse in Freestone Enduring Comforts - Osmosis Spa -Wild Flour Bakery FreestoneFermentationFestival.com

1/2 off Wine Tastes at Freestone Vineyard with this ad May 16

F rees tone Fermentat ionFestiva l.com THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

51

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Roddenberry’s series ‘Earth: Final Conflict’: What would we do if the invaders came? ith the arrival of the new Star Trek movie, the half-life of creator Gene Roddenberry’s ideas is approaching 20 years. Thanks to his heirs and fans, Roddenberry hardly seems gone, even though he passed away in 1991. A man with a fertile, sky-sweeping imagination, Roddenberry left us more than Kirk and company. His casual jottings, shepherded by widow Majel Barrett-Roddenberry, resulted in two TV shows: Andromeda and Earth: Final Conflict. Earth: Final Conflict, which ran on the Sci-Fi channel from 1997 to 2002, was a cut above: cheesy in production values, risible in its dialogue but thought-provoking in its extended story arc. In short, not exactly Battlestar Galactica but a damn sight better than First Wave, Farscape or (shudder) Tripping the Rift. After a frustrating absence from reruns and DVD, season one was released this week on a five-disc set from Universal ($19.98). The premise is laid out with admirable concision: “Three years ago they came, forever altering the future of humanity.� In the nearest of futures, the aliens have come to us, instead of waiting for the Enterprise to go to them. Call it a pre-emptive strike. \I don’t want to oversell the series. The acting can sink to the lower rungs of syndicated hell. The dialogue traffics in inanity: “What did you do after the tentacle grabbed your face?� The best one can say is that William Shatner’s thespian legacy lives on. Despite its gimcrack special-effects, acting and production values, Earth: Final Conflict really does raise some fascinating questions about what we would do on that day when Arthur C. Clarke’s third law comes true and a significantly advanced civilization drops from the skies and presents us with magical answers to all our problems. Would we throw rose petals in their path, even while suspecting that they might just be fattening us up for the slaughter? Would we mount a successful resistance movement? And how far would we go to fight back? Michael S. Gant

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BOHEMIANROMANCE check us out online at: www.NorthBayRomance.com

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For customer service, email bohemian@ placepersonal.com, or call 1-617-450-8773 Women Seeking Men LIVE, LOVE AND LAUGH SF would like to meet a nice guy, 35-45, who is independent, spiritually grounded but not religious, enjoys hanging out at home and more. 278839

TRADITIONAL VALUES SAF, 60, petite, very healthy, very active, secured, honest, sincere, hard-working, likes gardening, cooking, reading, home stuff, occasional drives to the countryside. Seeking SWM, 60-75, who’s clean-cut, N/S, N/D, with similar qualities, for friendship first, possible LTR. 313785

LET’S MEET FOR DINNER SWF, 49, 5’4’’, H/W proportionate, blondish-brown layered hair, big blue eyes, down-to-earth, mellow, nice, kind, sweet, considerate, laid-back, seeks SM, 35-55, who has a good sense of humor. I enjoy cats, beaches, hiking, camping, movies. 310278

CARING AND COMPASSIONATE Friendly, adaptable, outdoorsy, caring, healthy SF, 40s, likes dancing, travel, dining, hiking, the beach. Seeking SM, 30-50, for casual dating possibly leading to LTR. 299368

RETIRED Native American female, 63, would like to meet a BM, 55-63, N/S, to share dining out, movies, museums, festivals, casinos and more. Friendship first. 276555

SEEKING A COMPANION SWF, 72, 5’4�, 118lbs, seeks a nice, honest, clean-cut SWM, 68-75, to share dinner dates, drives in the country, wine tasting, concerts, travel, walks, golfing, gardening and good conversations. 289388

MUST BE SINCERE SF, 59, 5’2’’, 115lbs, redhead, Christian, likes dining, good conversation. Seeking SM, 45-60, who is very romantic and ready for a relationship. 297397

SHE’S A LADY Attractive SWF, 69, seeks gentleman, 65-75, for friendship and companionship. Let’s talk and see what develops! 305310

LOCAL GAL WF looking for someone fun, nice, loyal, honest and intelligent who likes good conversation, wine tasting, art, barbecues, camping, hanging out at home and more. 40-55. 306414

IT’S TIME Spiritual SWF, young 70s, petite, professional, employed, kids grown, ISO a fine, grounded gentleman, 65-70, for possible LTR. 240656

1949 CLASSIC SWF, tall, slender, active, enjoys swimming, bicycling, mysteries, hiking, cooking, barbecuing, symphony. Seeking well-mannered, caring S/DWM, 50-60, N/S, N/D, N/Drugs, with similar interests, for friendship and companionship. 415313

LADY PLAYS THE BLUES Slender, feminine, pretty and youthful SWF, 50+, enjoys music, dining out, travel, nature. Would like to meet a genuinely nice, good-looking SM, 45+, N/S, with sense of humor, who is socially and financially secure, for dating, fun, friendship and more. 303711

OUTDOORSY & ATHLETIC Attractive SWF, 61, hazel eyes, in good shape, seeks down-to-earth SM, 5565, who enjoys being outdoors, keeps life fun and interesting without drama. 313014

OUTGOING AND FUN Compassionate, caring, friendly, honest SF, 20s, likes going to clubs, camping, hiking, reading, the beach, dining out, more. Looking for a down-to-earth, easygoing man, 22-35, for LTR. 313136

LIKE GOING OUT? Honest, goal-oriented personable, artistic, sophisticated, hardworking SF would like to meet a SM, 40-60, who enjoys travel, walks, the beach, music, reading, camping, long drives, museums, tv, dining out, dancing and more. Seeking LTR. 313138

SEEKING LTR Honest, compassionate, artistic, friendly, goal-oriented, caring SF, 50s, healthminded with good values, into music, the beach, dancing, tv, travel, museums, walks, reading and more. Would like to meet SM, around the same age, for companionship. 313139

LIKE PBS? Personable, caring, goal-oriented friendly, artistic, compassionate woman, with good values, likes coffee shops, music, reading,walks,travel, dancing, dining out and more. Looking for honest, respectful man, 50-70, for LTR. 313143

Call costs $2.19/min. Must be 18+

ACTIVE WOMAN Open-minded WF, 5’4�, reddish hair, thin build, likes festivals, fairs, the outdoors, the arts, dancing and much more. Would like to meet a man to spend quality time with. Please be upbeat, active, healthconscious and fun-loving. 278457

PRETTY CUTE WF, 4’11�, petite build, dark hair and eyes, nurse, plays piano, kind, affectionate, loves laughing and having fun. Seeking a gentleman with the same qualities. 286936

NEW TO THE AREA Beautiful SWF, 40, full-figured, would like to meet an intelligent, cosmopolitan gentleman, 50-75, for fun, romance and travel. 286108

ANIMAL LOVER DWF, 49, 5’5�, 105lbs, light-brown/green, hoping to meet S/DWM, 45-55, prefer blue-collar type, but honest, faithfulness, and a big heart are more important. Must love animals. 545683

LET’S GO OUT & HAVE FUN! Honest woman, 50s, very caring, compassionate, kind, my interests are long drives, walks, dancing, visiting new places, dinners. Seeking nice SM, 50s60s, for LTR. 297169

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE Hard-working woman, 30ish, motivated, bright, caring, enjoys the beach, exercise, walks, outdoor fun, reading. Seeking caring man, 30s, for serious LTR. 297170

ADVENTUROUS WOMAN Attractive, creative, and energetic lady looking for warm-hearted, compatible seeker, 65-70, with good SOH, for dating, possible relationship. 300201

EDUCATED WOMAN SWF, in her 40s, N/S, seeks gentleman, 40-50, for friendship and LTR. Let’s meet and talk! 300135

A BIG HEART Caring, loving SF, 39, enjoys movies, the outdoors, travel. Looking for SW/ HM, 39-50, for friendship, maybe more. 305007

SOLO IN SANTA ROSA Still looking for lips of wine. SWF, 60, likes working out, open mic night, social life, some sports. Looking for a male friend. 152766

WAITING ARMS Caring, educated, honest, optimistic, hard-working SF, 30s, enjoys travel, dining out, long drives, the beach, reading, walks, hiking, music and more. Would like to meet like-minded man, 30-40, for LTR. 313123

YOU FOUND ME! Friendly, classy female, 50ish, very compassionate and caring, seeks a nice gentleman, 50-69, for long drives, dining out, traveling, fun times, leading to possible LTR. 283752

HEY NATURE LOVER Single white Christian female, likes many outdoor activities and adventures, varied interests. Loyal, humorous, financially and emotionally balanced, seeks companion who is similar, works days like I do, is off on weekends. 283785

SINCERE NATURE LOVER... enjoys hiking, biking, travel, kayaking, ice skating, horseback riding, camping, fishing, new adventures. Hoping to meet someone who is active, humorous, affectionate, looking for a long term relationship, close to my age. Prefer non-retired, non-smoker. 283716

LET’S TALK! SF, 50ish, caring, honest, creative, good values, likes music, dancing, walks, the beach, dining out. Seeking nice gentleman, 56-64, for possible LTR. 297154

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN! Very kind, feminine lady, 50s, healthy, hard-working, likes dining out, traveling, exercise. Seeking nice gentleman, in his 50s, to share friendship and LTR. 297187

SWEEP ME OFF MY FEET! SF, 50ish, sincere, kind personality, adaptable, likes music, hiking, outdoors, dancing. Seeking nice gentleman, for friendship first and maybe more. 297158

CHANCES ARE SF, 50s, RN, healthy, good values, hardworking, likes outdoors, traveling, reading, dining out, biking. Seeking honest gentleman, 55-75, for friendship and more. 297193

HEY THERE! Caring woman, 50s, bright, artistic, classy, enjoys music, shopping, traveling, television. ISO nice, similar guy for casual dating, possible LTR. 297160

SEARCH NO FURTHER Sweet single lady, 50s, feminine, sophisticated, optimistic, hard-working, enjoys shopping, tv programs, movies, traveling, reading, quiet nights at home. ISO similar man, 50-59, for serious LTR. 297196

HELLO THERE! Feminine woman, healthy, compassionate, artistic, likes dancing, walks, reading, traveling. Seeking similar man, 50-69, for LTR. 297161

YOU FOUND ME! SF, 40ish, bright, hard-working, kind, enjoys reading, long drives, coffee shops, traveling. ISO nice gentleman, 30-49, for dating and maybe more. 297165

TAKE A CHANCE ON ME Ambitious woman, 40s, very caring and pleasant personality, likes music, camping, biking, outdoor activities, reading. Seeking similar gentleman, 40s, for friendship and more. 297166

I’M THE ONE FOR YOU! Goal-oriented woman, 40s, enjoys exercise, outdoors, traveling, shopping. ISO similar gentleman, 30-49, for dating, friendship and more. 297184

TERRIFIC INSIDE AND OUT Goal-oriented single female, 50s, healthminded, intelligent, enjoys camping, outdoor fun, exercise, eating out. desires to meet a wonderful guy, 50-59, for LTR. 297223

OPTIMISTIC Friendly, ambitious, adaptable, outdoorsy, personable female, 50s, enjoys museums, dining, travel, coffee shops, the beach, taking walks. Seeking SM, 60s, for friendship and casual dating. 299370

WOMAN WITH GOOD VALUES Friendly, caring, honest, compassionate, classy lady, 20s, wants to meet a man in his 20s for camping, shopping, travel, dining, long drives and walks, and more! Friendship possibly leading to more. 299374

MANY FINE QUALITIES Caring, outdoorsy, honest, artistic, hard-working SF, early 50s, optimistic homebody with good values, has many interests including music, dining out, museums, travel, long drives, reading, walks, camping, biking and more. Looking for an honest, down-to-earth SM, 50-70, for friendship and dating first, possibly leading to something more serious. 313126

ADORABLE AND BRIGHT Caring, friendly, goal-oriented, feminine, honest, compassionate woman, 60s, likes travel, exercise, music, hiking, long drives, dining out, the beach, reading and more. Seeking a great companion, 50-70, to share these activities and quiet times with. 313128

COMPASSIONATE Friendly, honest, artistic, outdoorsy, caring SF, 30s, likes watching tv, dancing, the beach, travel, walks, music, hiking, museums, dining out, more. Searching for a partner in life, 30-50, for possible LTR. 313131

LOOKING FOR LTR Friendly, feminine, nurturing, captivating, bright, personable woman in her 50s who enjoys night clubs, television, dining, dancing, surfing, music, seeks similar male, 40-60, for LTR. 301191

OUTDOORSY Bright, compassionate, honest, friendly, adaptable woman, 50s, seeks SM, 4060, who enjoys dining, dancing, beaches, taking walks, for casual dating or LTR. 301192

HONESTY A MUST Hard-working, honest, optimistic, nurturing, flexible, motivated SF, 50s, likes biking, the beach, travel, dancing, hiking, reading, music, seeks similar man, 50s, who is ready for LTR. 301198

CAPTIVATING Sophisticated, outdoorsy, friendly, mischievous SF, 50s, likes hiking, kayaking, taking walks. In search of SM, 50-70, for LTR. 301203

GOOD VALUES Shy, friendly, caring, compassionate SF, 60s, nurturing, motivated, enjoys walks, the beach, coffee shops, biking, dining, seeks similar man, 60+, for friendship leading to LTR. 301544

PERSONABLE Compassionate, bright, friendly female, 40s, likes music, dancing, dining, biking, coffee shops. Seeking similar male, 50s, for LTR. 302304

SHY AND ARTISTIC Single female in her 50s looking for a male who enjoys music, television. Let’s meet and see if we connect! 308997

TAKE A CHANCE ON ME Motivated, outdoorsy, honest, healthconscious woman, with good values and optimistic attitude, likes most kinds of music, dining out, walks, camping, travel and relaxing time at home. Seeking a nice, honest, active man, 30-40, with similar interests, to spend time with, possible leading to LTR. 313124

LET’S MEET FOR DINNER Caring, honest, flexible, compassionate woman, 60s, loves dancing, travel, reading, dining out. Seeking similar man, 60s, for LTR. 301189

FRIENDS OR MORE Nurturing, artistic, bright, hard-working, compassionate, feminine female in her 50s, enjoys music, dancing, travel, the beach, kayaking, dining, taking walks. Seeking male, 50-69, for friendship with the possibility of more. 309768

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ONE HONEST WOMAN LEFT Bright SF, 60s, with good values, flexible and honest, likes reading, camping, travel, taking walks. Seeking similar male, 50-69, for friendship, casual relationship, possible LTR. 309769

Next door to The Mighty Quinn on SR Ave Open 7 Days a Week 10am to 10pm

VERY PERSONABLE Motivated, bright, artistic, hard-working, health-conscious female, 50s, personable and flexible, seeks male, age open, who likes museums, travel, long drives, camping, hiking. 309770

LOOKING FOR LTR Outdoorsy, health-minded, clean-cut, honest woman in her 30s, who enjoys biking, dining, shopping, the beach, hiking, taking walks, wants to meet a male in his 30s for LTR. 309772

CAPTIVATING! Adorable, hard-working, classy female, 50s, enjoys museums, shopping, travel, coffee shops, the beach. Seeking SM, 50s, for friendship, casual relationship, or LTR. 309776

A CARING HEART Outdoorsy, flexible, nurturing, feminine woman, 50s, likes camping, long drives, travel, coffee shops, taking walks. Seeking male, 40-59, for LTR. 309777

GOOD VALUES Caring, personable, compassionate, classy, hard-working female, 50s, likes music, dancing, travel, reading, museums, dining, the beach. Seeking SM, 50s, for friendship, possibly more. 309780

Men Seeking Women SEEKING AN OPEN MIND SBM, 33, 250lbs, smoker, enjoys cars, long walks, working out. Looking for SF, 20-65, kids ok, for possible relationship. 304990

FRIENDSHIP FIRST WM, 38, professional, would like to meet a fun WF, 25-60, who can enjoy themselves. 276178

LET’S HAVE SOME FUN SWM, 46, enjoys traveling, wine tastings, romantic dinners, movies, playing sports, staying active. Seeking SF, 35292612 @ 44, for possible LTR. dodgeman911

LET’S SPRING TOGETHER SWM, 61, 5’6�, 130lbs, N/S, enjoys movies, reading, concerts, dancing. Seeking SF, 40-60, intelligent, great SOH, healthy, pretty, who likes the arts, for friendship first, maybe more. 118761

IN EXCELLENT SHAPE Widowed WM, 76, 5’11�, N/S, very athletic, likes walks, horseback riding, swimming, cooking, more. Looking for SWF, 55-65, for companionship, walks in nature, intellectual pursuits, reading, gardening and more. 278284

WANNA TALK? SWM, 35, light smoker, looking for a SF, 28-40, who knows how to have fun. Friendship or more. 279326

I LUV YOUR BLUE EYES SWM, 48, 5’8�, brown/blue, handsome, loving, romantic, loyal, intelligent, evolved. Seeking SWF, 30-40, beautiful inside and out, sensitive, intelligent, likes good food, conversation, nature, the arts. Must dislike jury duty. You are very special to me. 270129

LET’S CHAT SHM, 41, N/S, wants to meet a SW/HF, 35-38, for friendship first possibly leading to more. 280682

ARE YOU OUT THERE? Italian male, 26, looking for a female, 1835, for friendship first possibly leading to more. Let’s meet and see if we hit it off! 280683

LONELY COWBOY SM, 36, likes fishing, hunting, dancing, rodeos, concerts, the country. Seeking down-home, family-oriented, nice SWF, 21-40, who likes travel. 264426

HAPPY & FUNNY SWM, 160lbs, brown/brown, honest, looking for casual dating, maybe more, with sincere SWF, 35-50. 283691

VARIED INTERESTS Nice-looking, active male, 65, enjoys travel, politics, sports, music, theater, entertaining, cooking. Would like to spend time and share interests with independent, financially secure, attractive, fit female, 45-60. 238785

ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White Guidelines: Bohemian Romance is a community publication. Participants in the Bohemian Romance must be 18 years or older. Use of Bohemian Romance for any illegal purpose will be subject to prosecution. Bohemian Romance is not liable for the content of the personals advertisements or the response to such advertisements. Bohemian Romance encourages readers to take appropriate safeguards when responding to personal and arranging meetings. Screen all respondents carefully. Meetings with new companions should occur in public places and participants should not divulge their addresses. Be smart, not sorry. Not all boxes contain a voice greeting.

Dial 1.900.287.1222 or 1.800.273.8235 (with credit card or check) Only $2.19 per minute • 18 and up • Or call toll-free 1.800.214.3435 to become a member.

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BOHEMIANROMANCE To become a member, call To listen & respond to ads, call

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NORTH BAY AREA?

1 800.214.3435 To listen & respond to ads using a credit card or check, call

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For customer service, email bohemian@ placepersonal.com,

Call costs $2.19/min. Must be 18+

or call 1-617-450-8773

Men Seeking Women WE SPOKE SOFTLY SM, 45, likes sports, movies, working out, the ocean, travel. Seeking SF, 35+, for friendship, possible long-term romance. 275583

ALONE BUT NOT LONELY SWM, 37, N/S, social-drinker, enjoys racing cars and riding motorcycles. I’m looking for a SWF, 23-58, for friendship, dating and possibly more. 289031

GIVE ME A CALL WM, 48, trying to find an outgoing, goodlooking woman to go out and have a good time with. 30-50. 288940

LET’S MEET AND SEE SWM, 27, good-looking, 6’, 160lbs, tattoos, homeowner, looking for a White or Asian woman for friendship, dating and possibly more. 289651

CALL ME! SM, 40, looking for SF, over 55, for friendship and companionship first. Let’s talk and get to know each other! 292779

HANDSOME BM... 65, seeks female for fun-loving adventures and relaxation. I love cooking, surprises, and giving gifts. 302811

LONG HAIR A PLUS Good-looking Native American male, 5’8”, 220lbs, long hair, in search of a Hispanic or Native American woman, 50s, for friendship first and companionship. 304173

PACIFIC NORTHWEST Casual guy, enjoys mountain and beach trips, walks, outdoors, moonlit nights, cuddling. Seeking SWF, 40-56, slim/medium build, to come spend quiet times in Pacific Northwest. 954499

COUNTRY GUY SWM, 68, secure, energetic, simple country guy seeks simple country girl, who’s down-to-earth, for fun, travel, walks, good food, good times, companionship and enjoying being at home too. 297530

SHARED JOY SWM, 59, 5’9”, 160lbs, nice-looking, with good SOH, seeking woman to have fun with, race/age unimportant. I like dancing, partying, shows and dining out. Call me! 972627

EARLY RETIREE, 47 Former loan agent, moderate disabilty M.S., born/raised in S.F, SSU grad, (environmental studies), avid progressive Democrat, I’m inpatient for the November election. I have a 9-year-old daughter who lives with her mom. I love films, jazz, Trader Joe’s. Sanoma county. Seeking bright, positive lady, 35-50, N/S, for companionship. 219612

MUST LOVE DOGS Active, with SOH, DWM, 53, average looking, 5’7”, 185lbs, brown/brown, seeking single or divorced W/H/AF, 30s-50s, HWP, for LTR. I’m a dog owner, animal lover, spiritual, intelligent, communicative, romantic, evolved, easy and fun to be with. 251210

TIRED OF BEING ALONE SHM, 25, 5’11’’, average build, seeks SW/AF, 19-26, to talk to and get to know. Let’s meet and see what develops. 286293

SPECIAL WOMAN SM, 48, black hair, brown eyes, very outgoing, great personality, likes photography, basketball, music, travel. I’m looking for a woman who’s interested in dating and possibly more. 287933

PERSONABLE Shy SM, 50s, with good values, likes long drives, hiking, walking, travel, dining out. Looking for similar female, 40-60, ready for LTR. 301538

LOVES HORSES Healthy senior WM, 165lbs, N/S, loves animals, especially horses, theater, PBS. Seeking slender female for romance. 302170

ARE YOU THE ONE? Bright, artistic, caring, flexible, adorable guy, 50s, likes music, dancing, travel, the beach, dining out. Looking for similar female. 302306

FUN, INTROSPECTIVE SWM, 52, 6’4’’, in good shape, likes classic movies, reading, hiking, classical music, sailing, the outdoors, travel, the symphony. Looking for SF, 22-50, similar interests. 301801

STARTING OVER Separated WM, loves hockey, the outdoors, golf, staying in and watching movies, gardening and more. Would like to meet someone fun who wants to enjoy life. Call me and lift my spirits. 282029

LET’S HAVE FUN! SHM, 34, N/S, no children, looking for a SH/WF, 24-32, for dating, possibly more. 302392

JUST MOVED HERE SWM, 5’7’’, 190lbs, brown eyes, wants to meet soulmate in similar SF, 30-55. I love swing dancing, travel, gourmet cooking, animals, nature. 305800

SOMETIMES MISCHIEVOUS Optimistic, honest, clean-cut, caring, outdoorsy man, 50s, likes music, walks, long drives, running, watching tv, museums, dining out. Seeking SF, 50s, for companionship. 313135

GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR SWM, 59, 5’11’’, 180lbs, non-smoker, blue eyes, sandy brown hair, enjoys fishing, beaches, dining out and more. Seeking female, 55-65, for possible relationship. 309857

FRIENDSHIP FIRST Caring, honest, nurturing SM, 60s, enjoys music, watching tv, walks, camping, coffee shops, hiking and museums. Looking for SF, 30-70, for dating possibly leading to LTR. 313144

HOPE TO FIND YOU Sociable, good-hearted, compassionate, healthy gentleman, 63, published writer/ poet, D/D-free, non-drinker, enjoys quiet times, home, sports, simple times. Seeking loving, happy, intelligent woman to share life, love, possible LTR. Bay Area preferred. 224839

JUMPIN JACK FLASH! Handsome guy, 57, adventurous, interesting, SOH, easygoing, enjoys dining out, dancing to live music, good movies, walks in the country, holding hands. Seeking attractive female. 201639

LET IT BE ME SWM, 20, 6’2’’, 175lbs, N/S, would like to meet a SH/AF, 18-29, for friendship or more. 279583

FRIEND LOVER SOULMATE SWPJM,56,5’10”, blue eyes, sandy brown hair, kind, passionate, artistic, sincere, committed and fun, enjoys ocean walks, travel, arts, food, wine and nature. Seeking SF, 50-62, kindred spirit, kind, soft, sensuous, for life’s adventures together. 309779

ROMANTIC ARIES Active “semi “ senior, 68, 5’9”, 160lbs. Romantic Aries looking for the 2nd love of my life. Lake County. Looking 4 active slim/athletic lady. My interests are varied; sailing, art, dancing, travel, etc. See you soon? 281170

Women Seeking Women

LET’S SHARE IDEAS Caring gentleman, 60s, intelligent, good morals, clean-cut, likes outdoors, traveling, hiking, reading, ISO nice woman, 50-60, for friendship leading to LTR. 297183

THIS ONE’S FOR YOU Single male, in my 40s, honest, goal-oriented, caring, outdoorsy, enjoys outdoor walks, long drives, art museums, traveling. ISO similar single female, 18-49, for dating leading to LTR. 297225

LOOKING FOR LTR SM, 31, outdoorsy, honest, compassionate, seeks SF, 22-35, who enjoys travel, television, camping, taking walks, the beach and more. 301200

SOPHISTICATED Caring, compassionate, hard-working, goal-oriented, artistic SM, 40s, likes camping, dancing, travel. Searching for similar male, 30s, for LTR. 301536

LOOKING FOR A SF WHO... is independent, confident and takes care of herself. I like good movies, dressing up for a nice dinner out, skiing, bike rides, hiking, scuba diving, swing dancing, cooking. I’m an honest person who doesn’t believe in playing games. 301540

READY FOR LTR Shy, friendly, caring, clean-cut, classy SM, 50s, enjoys music, camping, travel, long drives, hiking, beaches, seeks similar woman, 30-50, for LTR. 302300

LOOKING FOR LTR Hard-working, healthy, personable, honest, compassionate man, 40s, likes camping, travel, hiking, long drives, beaches. In search of similar female, 30s, for friendship leading to LTR. 302302

Men Seeking Men AFFECTIONATE & FRIENDLY Youthful, SBM, mid-50s, loves giving massage to senior males, especially shy males. Race, size and appearance unimportant. Open to long-term relationship. 299175

WE SPOKE SOFTLY SM, 45, enjoys sports, working out, traveling, seeking SM, 35-65, for friendship and possible LTR. 287238

LET’S TALK SHM, 28, 5’9’’, 176lbs, loves taking walks, dining out. Looking for a similar HM, 21-30, for friendship, maybe more. 302574

COMPASSIONATE GUY Hard-working, classy, clean-cut, caring, honest male in search of a male, 58-69, who likes night clubs, television, travel, dancing, the beach, taking walks, exercise. 308996

GOOD HEART SEEKS SAME GWPF, young 53, tall, slim build, attractive, great SOH, femme/tom boyish, loves music, animals, outdoors, cooking and laughter. Seeking GPF, 45-65, for dating and more. 296665

LOAN ME YOUR WIFE Handsome, discreet, easygoing, polite guy likes to party with couples. I’m 57, 6’, 190lbs, well-built, bi, and have a good imagination. 232423

WANTS SOME FUN Very hot SWM, 6’1”, 170lbs, salt-n-pepper hair, in good shape, very open, looking for erotic adult encounter with a H/W proportionate lady who needs attention. Want to get together? 303609

SHARE MY WORLD Slender, athletic SF, 67, 5’6’’, registered nurse with a Master’s in Theology, loves hiking, swimming, museums, movies, cooking. Looking for SF, 55-68, for possible relationship. 301780

STRAIGHTFORWARD FUN SWM, 39, looking for SF, 18-50, who likes to try new things and isn’t afraid of having a little fun! 304707

WHERE ARE YOU? You are 35-45, very feminine, dark, mystical, spiritual, with a sense of humor, know what you like, and want to enjoy life, but not alone. I’m trying to find you, where are you? 310085

JOIN US White couple looking for a female, 18-25, for fun, discreet times together. Give us a call. 311573

NATURE LOVER Health-conscious, honest, wise, spiritual, artistic, friendly female, 50s, enjoys philosophy, psychology, walking, reading, the beach. Searching for similar female, 50s, for long-term relationship. 302296

SPANK YOU VERY MUCH Woman, thou shalt be spanked. Gentle or hard, clothed or naked, whatever you deserve, by a sexy man who knows how to do it. 288495

Alternative Lifestyles COUPLE SEEKS WOMAN Very attractive, middle-aged, married white couple, she’s 5’2”, 125lbs, 34D. He is 5’11”, 172lbs. Both and very sensual and she is multi-orgasmic. We are N/S, light drinkers, heal-conscious, pleasant, non-pushy. Please be N/S, H/W proportionate, white, Hispanic or Asian, under 55. Bi or bi-curious ok. Discretion assured. Let’s have fun. 314002

SOME ADULT ADVENTURES SM, 6’2’’, average, enjoys movies and toys. Looking for women, couples, males or she-males who want to have fun. 281444

READY FOR FUN? SWM, 30, feminine bottom, looking for a top WM, 20-60, for good times and fun. Let’s see where it goes! 311892

DOMINANT BF SEEKS... PWM for submissive or slave position. Must be healthy, interested in dom/sub relationship with no games or drama. 285201

OPEN FOR ANYTHING BiWM, 54, 5’10’’, professional drummer, looking for good times with men and women, threesomes, foursomes, dressing up and more! 287793

STRAIGHT/BI GUY Frustrated with different need patterns at home? Understanding older gentleman, experienced, highly discreet, will provide time-tested stress relief for men, 30-50, in good shape; HWP, extremely private setting; no reciprocation expected. Curious? 136702

SHE-MALE SEEKS GOOD TIMES Want to spend time with a man or a woman. I am very affectionate, beautiful, and love to be held. Interested? 279657

Missed Connections

CALL ME BiWM, handyman artist in Marin, 52, 5’6”, 180lbs, dirty blond hair, pale blue eyes, seeks couple or singles for fun in Marin or nearby. 293610

18+

CORINA IN OLIVER’S Saturday at 4:00PM, You had 15-year-old twins with blacks belts in karate. I have two cute little kids. We talked about children and kale. Lunch? 311695

AMAZON KINDLE Hello, I met you Friday June 27 at the Russian River Brewing Company on Fourth St. in Santa Rosa. She may be a computer programmer from St. Helena Hospital and watched on this day 3 movies back to back in the theater on Fourth St. in the town of Santa Rosa The Love Guru by Mike Meyers, Wall-E and another film. And she sipped a little beer and read from her Amazon kindle. I would like to get in touch with this girl and ask her to edit my book. She is a perfect candidate for my book. Hope to hear from you. Phil. 274972

LET’S TALK! SWM, mid 30s, looking for discreet guys in the Larkfield area for friendship and fun. Call me! 300359

866.689.5312

Shared Interests SEEKING FRIENDS SF, 49, enjoys Mexican food, coffee, going out and just having fun. Seeking males or females, bilingual a plus, for friendship. 287942

1.888.218.8055 There’s no better time than NOW to connect with new people. We’re offering 10 free minutes to new mem bers upon joining. For complete terms and

The Bohemian is no longer servicing walk-in ads. Please call 1-800-214-3435 to become a member.

Dial 1.900.287.1222 or 1.800.273.8235 (with credit card or check) Only $2.19 per minute • 18 and up • Or call toll-free 1.800.214.3435 to become a member.

0501

THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

55

BOHEMIANCLASSIFIEDS Placing an Ad

Classified Index ❶ Employment

❹ Computer Market

❼ Real Estate Services

❷ For Sale

➎ Professional Services

➑ Home Services

❸ Music

➏ Family Services

§ By Phone Call the Department at 707.527.1200 Mon.-Fri., 8:30a.m.5:30p.m. √ By Fax Fax your ad to the Classified Department at 707.527.1288

g Business Opportunities

Attention Readers Some ads in this section may require an initial investment or fee. Metro Newspapers encourages you to thoroughly investigate any advertiser’s claims before sending payment.

Employment

g Jobs

$600 Weekly Potential Helping the government Part time. No experience, no selling. Call 1-888-213-5225 Ad Code L-5. (AAN CAN)

Leader’s Wanted

International Health Company, expanding in North Bay. Experience with owning own Help Wanted business and public speaking. Earn extra income assembling Call 866-312-4464. CD cases from home. Call out live operators now! Love Personal 1-800-405-7619 ext 150. Growth? www.easywork-greatpay.com Experience cutting edge program free! Affordable coaching for women; extraordinary Auditions business, if you want it: PT/FT Positions as www.mylifecompass.com/ coach4goodchange Movie Extras

g

Post Office Now Hiring! Average pay $21/hour or $54K annually. Including Federal benefits and OT. Paid training, vacations. PT/FT. 1-866-945-0295. (AAN CAN)

Contacting Us ∏ In Person Visit our office Monday through Friday, 8:30a.m. to 5:30p.m. at 847 5th Street, Santa Rosa

Bohemian Classifieds 847 5th Street Santa Rosa, CA 95404 Monday through Friday, 8:30a.m. to 5:30p.m.

≈ Deadline Fridays, 2:00pm

707.527.1200 707.527.1288

g Electronics

DIRECTV Satellite TV Special Offer: Save $21/month for one year, Free HD-DVR, Plus 3 Free months of HBO/Starz/Showtime! Call Expert Satellite. 1-888-246-1956 (credit card required) (AAN CAN)

Professional Services

Music

gg Bands

Financial Services

Thug World Records explosive label with major features lil Wayne Snoop dog E-40 G-unit and more free Downloads mp3s RingTones videos R&b over 15 hours of music www.thugworldrecords.com 408-561-1255

Need Tax Relief? Call Effectur NOW for a FREE Consultation. We can help! 800-989-0518 (AAN CAN)

Real Estate Rentals

Computer Market

g

Notice

For Sale

g g

Hearn Rd.

#

Bellevue

W. Robles

Todd Rd.

Standish Ave

Storage Master Self Storage

3205 Dutton Avenue

Corby Auto Row

Rohnert Park

HWY 101

Santa Rosa

• Call for our current specials • Month to Month Availability • Boxes, Packaging & Moving Supplies • Residential & Commercial • Professional On-site Managers

05.06.09-05.12.09

DIRECTV Satellite TV Special Offer

Singles Parties

Browse thousands of rental listings with photos and maps. Advertise your rental home for FREE! Visit: http://www.RealRentals.com (AAN CAN) Class: Rent or Lease

g Services

All AreasRentmates.com Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Rentmates.com. (AAN CAN)

Miscellaneous

Home Services

g Contractors

Notice To Readers California law requires that contractors taking jobs that total $500 or more (labor or materials) be licensed by the Contractors State License Board. State law also requires that contractors include their license number on all advertising. You can check the status of your licensed contractor at www.cslb.ca.gov or 1-800-321-CSLB (2752). Unlicensed contractors taking jobs that total less than $500 must state in their advertisements that they are not licensed by the Contractors State License Board.

g Adoptions

Pregnant? Considering Adoption?

Real Estate Sales

g Homes

Tranquility is Yours at this Napa Home! Beautifully remodeled 3 bedroom/2 bath home now available in gated community. Property is vacant and can be seen on demand. Call 831673-1244 for additional details.

Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide. Living expenses paid. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866/413-6293 (AAN CAN)

Save $21/month for one year, Free HD-DVR, Plus 3 Free months of HBO/Starz/Showtime! Call Expert Satellite. 1888-246-2215 (credit card required) (AAN CAN)

g Miscellaneous

Suffering With Anxiety or Depression? Think no one understands? Lucinda Bassett does. Get her free tape that will stop the suffering without drugs or alcohol. Call 800-652-9619. (AAN CAN)

Golden Star Grafix Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic restoration, general marketing materials. Mark Schaumann 707-795-0924, schaumann1@earthlink.net

g Classes & Instruction

High School Diploma!

g Financial Services

OWE 10K OR MORE to the IRS? Need Tax Relief? Call Effectur NOW for a FREE Consultation. We can help! 800-989-0518 (AAN CAN)

Fast, affordable and accredited. Free brochure. Call Now!. 1-888-532-6546 ext. 97 www.continentalacademy.com (AAN CAN)

Adults of ages welcome!

Health Conscious Singles Mixer May 15, 8pm-10pm, University of Sports, 555 Rohnert Park Expy, Rohnert Park 1435 Sebastopol Road

Marin Singles Dance May 16, 8pm-12am, Grill 101 at Embassy Suites Hotel, 101 McInnis Pkwy, San Rafael

707-546-0000 707-578-3299 56

ALL AREAS - HOUSES FOR RENT

Real Estate Services

All real estate advertised in the Bohemian Newspaper is DIRECTV Satellite TV Get a New Computer subject to the State and Federal Fair Housing Act, which Brand name laptops and Register for a 90-day GuaranOffer: Marketing Executive Special tee - Make up to $300/day Save $21/month for one year, desktops. Bad or no credit, no makes it illegal to advertise problem. Smallest weekly any preference, limitation, or Call our agents 24/7 at 1-800- Work from Home in the Green Free HD-DVR, Plus 3 Free payments available. It’s yours discrimination based on race, Economy. No selling. No in605-5901. (AAN CAN) months of HBO/Starz/Show- now. Call 800/803-8819. vestment. No risk. Green color, religion, sex, handicap, time! Call Expert Satellite. (AAN CAN) makes sense for a better tofamily status (the presence of 1-888-246-1956 (credit card morrow. Make a difference. children), or national origin, required) (AAN CAN) Go to or the intention to make any Miscellaneous www.successthesmartway.com such preference, limitation, or and click on Request Info. discrimination. State and loMiscellaneous GET A NEW cate laws forbid discriminaCOMPUTER! tion in the sale, rental, or Online Pharmacy Brand Name laptops & deskBuy Soma, Ultram, Floricet, advertising of real estate. We tops. Bad or NO Credit - No Prozac, Buspar. $71.99/90 will not knowingly accept any Problem. Smallest weekly $107/180 quantities. Price in- payments avail. CALL NOW advertising for real estate cludes prescription! Over 200 1-800-816-2232. (AAN CAN) which is in violation of the meds. $25 Coupon meition law. All persons are hereby offer: #71A31. informed that all dwellings 1-888-661-4957. advertised are available on tripharmacy.net (AAN CAN) an equal opportunity basis to the best of our knowledge. Stony Point Rd. Dutton Ave.

g

Homes

Lil Wayne E-40 Snoop OWE 10K OR MORE to the IRS? Dog San Quinn

For Sale

g

CO-SPONSORED by Bohemian Romance and Society of Single Professionals INFO at www. ThePartyHotline.com or 415-507-9962

THE BOHEMIAN

Call the Bohemian NOW to advertise! 707.527.1200 | sales@bohemian.com

HEALTH&WELL-BEING Have You Had A Spiritual Experience? Free Workshop Discover what your experiences really mean at this free fascinating workshop. Saturday, May 16th, 2009, 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. For more information about this workshop or Eckankar visit www.HaveASpiritualExperience.org or www.eckankar.org or call (707) 542-2100

g Classes & Workshops

Qigong!! Wild Goose Qigong. Balance immune and nervous systems. Build endurance and high energy. www.wisdomhealing.org. Weegi Patrick Ryan. 707/293-8212

g Counseling & Therapy

The Ultimate Massage Guerneville Swedish and Deep Tissue M4M Massage

Full Body sensual massage

massage by male CMT. 707-542-6856.

With a mature, playful CMT. Comfortable incall location near the J.C. in Santa Rosa. Soothing, relaxing, and fun. Visa/MC accepted. Gretchen 707/478-3952.

The Path Channel Psychic reading, spiritual guidance, soul healing, energetic awakening. Assistance for the new millenium. Rachael Indra CHT, LMT, MA 707-824-0894

Massage/ Body Work “ My work is solid, thorough and sensitive - and my prices are excellent! Twenty-five years of professional experience does make a difference.” Colin Godwin, CMT 707-823-2990.

Man of Your Dreams Men, women, couples. TLC, massage, Tantra, nurturing mutual touch. William 707-548-2187

Group Psychotherapy

Relaxing Massage

Anxiety - Depression - Excessive Worrying - Phobias OCD, PTSD. Groups forming in SR and Pet. Licensed and experienced. LCS 9566. Dr. Doris Sami 707-544-0821.

Great Massage

g Healing & Bodywork

By Joe, CMT. Relaxing hot tub and pool available. Will do outcalls. 707-228-6883.

Specializing In Men

Brent, C.M.T. 26 years experience. Nurturing, intuitive touch. Private, discrete studio. 707/477-0400.

Strong * Nurturing * Touch . Full Body Massage. www.mantomanmassage.net 1-877-891-6466, 707/4803328. Michael CMT, Visa/MC.

g

• Asian Body Massage • Swedish/Deep Tissue

John CMT, Ten years experience. Santa Rosa. Introductory massage $50/hour, outcalls negotiable 707-327-7825

A Safe Place To Be Real

Complete Relaxation Swedish and Deep Tissue massage by male CMT. 707-542-6856.

the way you like it. Swedish and deep tissue techniques. Relaxing and rejuvenating. Flexible schedule for your convenience. Call James 707477-4365.

Best Chiropractor 2nd Place

g Psychics

Holistic tantric masseuse. Unhurried, private, heartfelt. Psychic Palm Monday thru Saturday. New and Card Reader client discount. Madame Lisa. Truly gifted 707-793-2232. adviser for all problems. 827 Santa Rosa Ave. 707-542-9898

Quality family chiropractic care for managing chronic and acute pain. • sports injuries • pediatrics • auto accidents

Jake Quihuis, DC 707-523-9850 1819 Fourth Street • Santa Rosa

• pregnancy / post-partum discomforts

LISA CHIROPRACTIC CENTER 0911 BO BOHO JAM

526-4888

Serving Sonoma County 24 hours a day Senior Discount

Chinese Medicine & Massage Therapy Center FREE CONSULTATION

Grand Opening

Massage & Relaxation

MEN! Get a massage

Tulips Health Spa

Therapeutic Massage

First time $45/hr. www.garywtmassage.com, Gary, CMT. 707-235-5423

Windsor: 4 Men

Now Open!

Mitch, CMT. Mature. Professional. Relaxing intuitive touch. Private discrete studio. 707-849-7409

HEAVENLY TOUCH

n

with a Chinese medicine expert & Qi Gong Master. Treatment for pain & injury. Extensive traditional Chinese herbal pharmacy

Beautiful Asian Massage Health - Relaxation - Stress Relief - Experienced CMT

$50/hour $35/half hour New Customers 15 minutes FREE

Relieve muscle tension & pain! By Appointment

707.236.2325 1214 College Ave, 2nd floor Santa Rosa

A Provider of Pleasure By a gentleman! Since 1991. Women, men, couples. Santa Rosa, 707/799-4467, Jimmy.

n

11am-9pm 161B Kentucky St, Petaluma 707.778.7888 • 626.627.8028

NOW OPEN Grand Opening! Massage

Lily Spa RELAX

• Deep Tissue/Swedish $50 hr • Sports • Shiatzu • Back Walking/Chair • Foot Reflexology • Chair $10/10 min massage

Asian Massage Thai • Deep Tissue Swedish • Hot Stone

Happy Health Spa

1 HR/$65 90 MIN/$100 walk-ins or appt

open 10-10, 7 days 525 Ross St, Santa Rosa

707-591-8899 leslie happy health 0913 boho jam

707.528.2540 3401 Cleveland Ave #2 Santa Rosa

Therapeutic Massage Center Body Massage $55/hr Open 7 days 9-10pm

707.578.3088

Foot Massage $19.99/45 min 2460 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa

MORE THAN 15 MASSAGE TECHNIQUES FOR PERFECT RELAXATION Swedish, Deep Tissue, Acupressure, Reflexology Qi Gong • Thai Chi • Acupucture Cupping herbs • Infrared Sauna • Same-day Appointments Walk-ins Welcome • Treatments Start at $20 - Insurance Accepted Gift Certificates • Open 7 days, 10 AM to 8 PM

707.762.9111 • 172 Keller Street, Petaluma THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

57

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THE BOHEMIAN

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E^hXZh '$&.Ä($'% =dl Yd ndj YZVa l^i] i]dhZ i]gZZ eZg^dYh ZkZgn nZVg l]Zc BZgXjgn ^h gZigd\gVYZ! Vh ^i ^h WZilZZc BVn , VcY (%4 >ÉY a^`Z ndj id Xdch^YZg i]Z bZY^iVi^dch d[ Vgi^hi VcY VXi^k^hi <VWg^ZaaZ HZcoV/ Æ> i]^c` d[ BZgXjgn gZigd\gVYZ Vh V W^\ dWcdm^djh gdiilZ^aZg dc V X]V^c i]Vi WVgZh ^ih iZZi]! ajc\^c\ VcY WVg`^c\ Vh > lVa` Wn# > XVc X]ddhZ id ZmeZg^ZcXZ ^i ^c dcZ d[ i]gZZ lVnh/ & Vh V [g^\]iZc^c\ bdbZci i]Vi XViX]Zh bZ d[[ \jVgY0 ' Vh V ]jbdgdjh ^ciZgajYZ i]Vi Vaadlh bZ id bV`Z [jc d[ l]Vi >Éb V[gV^Y d[ WZXVjhZ > `cdl ^i XVcÉi ]jgi bZ0 VcY ( Vh Vc deedgijc^in id X]Vc\Z bn gdjiZ! jhjVaan aZVY^c\ id hdbZ ldcYZg[ja hjgeg^hZ i]Vi gZlVgYh bn ^chi^cXi id l^aa^c\an YZeVgi [gdb bn eaVch VcY egd_ZXi^dch#Ç In addition to this column, Rob Brezsny offers expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text message horoscopes. To buy access, go to www.realastrology.com. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1.877.873.4888 or 1.900.950.7700.

$100 off Doggie Boot Camp or 3 private sessions for $200* (reg $240) Low Cost Vaccination Clinics every Sunday, 9:30-11am

c 35 years training experience c Guest on the Discovery Channel’s K-9 Cops for his expertise c Obedience training the natural way c 10 acres of safe, country training grounds c Exceptional for aggression issues c Strong leadership skills taught for owners

WESTERN FARM CENTER 707.545.0721 21 West 7th St. Santa Rosa

exp 4/30/09*

707-322-3272 www.incrediblecanine.com

Where do they stay when you’re away?

Premier Doggy Day & Overnight Camp • 24 hr Web Cam

Place your pet related ad here today! Call 707.527.1200

• Supervised Play groups Best Doggie Day Care Best Dog Camp Santa Rosa • 707.546.CAMP 2120 Bluebell Drive (just off Coffee Lane) www.mycbw.com/santarosa | santarosa@campbowwowusa.com

Meet Calypso • Cat of theWeek

Meet Betty • Dog of theWeek

You don’t have to go far to find this tropical beauty, a 2 year old gray and white kitty. How anyone could give up this precious girl is hard to believe, but we know she will make her way into someone’s heart soon. She would like nothing more than a warm lap to curl up on and a sunny spot. To find out more about Calypso or other adoptable animals looking for homes, please visit the Humane Society & SPCA’s Center for Animals. You can also view our adoptable animals online or give call us at (707) 542-0882.

This 116 lbs. of love is ready to shower you with affectionate kisses and big bear hugs. Betty is an 8 year old chocolate Lab with special needs. Betty has done very well and her coat is starting to sparkle. She is on an exercise regimen to lose those extra pounds. To find out more about Betty or other adoptable animals looking for homes, please visit the Humane Society & SPCA’s Center for Animals. You can also view our adoptable animals online or give call us at (707) 542-0882.

The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

BOHEMIAN FLIPSIDE

To place your ad call 707.527.1200

THE 12TH ANNUAL GREAT PETALUMA CHILI COOKOFF, SALSA AND BEER TASTING Fires up on Saturday, May 9th from 1-5pm at the Sonoma Marin Fairgrounds in Petaluma

37 Chili and Salsa Teams, 15 breweries to enjoy. Music, dancing, spicy hot fun. It’s the place to be! It’s hotter than heck! Come vote for your favorite chili, salsa and beer and have a raucous good time. Benefits Cinnabar Theater Youth Program. www.greatchilicookoff.com | 707.763.8920 BOROLOS PIZZA, HOME OF THE SOURDOUGH CRUST!

SPIRITUAL CONNECTIONS

OPEN EVERYDAY, 707-539-3937, 300 Mission Blvd. Santa Rosa.

Finding inspiration and connecting with your community Mahakaruna Buddhist Meditation Center

Wed at noon, Tues & Weds evenings 7:30 - 8:45pm Prayers for World Peace Sun, 10:30 - 11:45am Everyone welcome

BRIDGE CENTER

304 Petaluma Blvd., North Petaluma www.meditationinnorcal.org

Share your organization’s inspiration with over 95,100 Bohemian Readers monthly! Call Today! Phone: 707.527.1200 email: sales@bohemian.com

Italian scarves for Mother’s Day. Stop By Best Wishes!

The Journey Center: Christ-centered Spirituality, Healing, & Wholeness Reading room, art gallery, prayer/meditation gatherings, spiritual journey resources, bodywork, bookstore, free WiFi. 1601 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa. www.journeycenter.org 707.578.2121

Offers ongoing introductory and advanced classes.

*Take Out & Delivery *Classic to California Creative

is an Independent Unity-Based Spiritual Center. 10:30 Service at the Petaluma Community Center “The Club Room” 320 N. McDowell Boulevard. www.bridgecenter.org.

Mahakaruna Buddhist Meditation Center Offers ongoing introductory and advanced classes. Weds at noon, Tues & Weds evenings 7:30-8:45pm. Prayers for World Peace - Sun 10:30 - 11:45am Everyone welcome! 304 Petaluma Blvd., North - Petaluma. www.meditationinnorcal.org

Feldenkrais Clinic Working with you to move with ease, diminish pain, relieve stress. Sebastopol Community Center Annex, 1st and 3rd Fridays 1:30-2:30. Sliding Scale $25-$40. Call to book an Appointment 707-829-8270 or 707-490-6665.

B

Certification in Ayurveda & Aromatherapy Practical & Clinical Experience. Pulse Assessment, therapeutic bodywork, nutrition, traditional medicine & more! In Sebastopol - Starts Sept. Curriculum online dhyanacenter.com 707-823-8818

Rocks and Clouds Zendo Meditation and Dharma Talk Wednesday nights, 7:00 p.m. 618 South Main Street, Sebastopol. www.rocksandclouds.org 707/824-5647.

Sign up Now-Integrative Yoga Teacher Training September 2010!! A 200 hour non-residential program. 1 wknd/mo. for 10 months. Bodyworks-Integrative Yoga Studio. 490 2nd St., Petaluma. 707-769-9933 or www.bodyworksyoga.com

Card & gift Shop. We are located at the corner of Piner & Marlow Rd. Mom doesn’t live here? No worries.... We can pack & ship the gift as we are a US Post Office too! One stop shopping at Best Wishes!, where you will find the perfect gift for any reason. Bestwisheswinecountry.com/ 575-0145 M-F 9:30 to 6PM Sat 10-4 Sun Closed

Law Office of Evan E. Zelig Criminal Defense Call today! 707.636.3204 or Toll Free; 888.ZELIGLAW. Available 24/7 If you or someone you know is being accused or charged with a crime, please do not wiat to retain counsel. Contact the Law Office of Evan E. Zelig today!

Youth Failing School or School Failing Our Youth ? Try Rancho Bodega School - Small Group/One on One Instruction - Enriched Middle/High School Curriculum - Special Studies/Independent Study Emphasizing Music & Art Serving Grades 7-12 NOW ENROLLING !! Call 707-795-7166 www.ranchobodegaschool.com

Santa Rosa Plumbing Water Conservation Experts. Friendly, Honest Service. Licensed, Bonded and Insured. License #871026

tankless water heaters, high efficiency toilets recirculation, general plumbing needs 707.528.8228

Barley & Hops Tavern 3688 Bohemian Hwy. Occidental Hand Crafted Brews from around the world & Tasty Pub Grub. www.barleynhops.com or 707.874.9037 open at 4pm Everyday!

FIRST TIME HOME BUYERS! Now is the time to buy! Prices are down & interest rates are the lowest in years. Call me for a FREE Evaluation of your situation. Together we can move you from renter to owner! PRIMARY RESIDENTIAL MORTGAGE, INC. 523-1700

Narsi Hof-Brau Restaurant in Coddingtown 545-6237

Goebel Builders Jay Goebel, General Contractor, Lic. #812957 Quality Workmanship, Friendly Service, and Dependability You Can Trust. Insured with Local references Repairs, Custom Builds, and Troubleshooting Call today and get the job DONE! 707-794-7955, www.goebelbuilders.com

Golden Star Grafix Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic restoration, general marketing materials. Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

Please see are ad special inside the dining section. One free hot plate item with the purchase of one entree! Huge Value!

Now Online! 2009 Best of Winner Awards Go to www.bohemian.com, click “Get your 2009 Best of Award” Sign in, Choose County & Download your Award!

847 5th Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95404 | 707.527.1200 | sales@bohemian.com THE BOHEMIAN

05.06.09-05.12.09

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SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM 1901 CLEVELAND AVE SUITE B SANTA ROSA 707.576.0818 www.srtp.net

We provide treatment for: Oxycontin, Vicodin and Heroin utilizing replacement medications. We also treat Methamphetamine and other stimulant dependence. • Subutex/Suboxone available • Providing Treatment since 1984 • Confidentiality assured

Relapse Doesn’t Mean Failure

Medical Marijuana Certifications

Qigong!!

Exhibitors and Vendors Wanted!

Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help. (707) 576 0818

Santa Rosa. Best price. 24/7 authentication. 707-575-7375 www.mmj.medical-library.net

Wild Goose Qigong. Balance immune and nervous systems. Build endurance and high energy. www.wisdomhealing.org. Weegi Patrick Ryan. 707/293-8212

Sonoma County Showcase, Sat., May 30, 11AM - 5PM, Grace Pavilion Building, Sonoma County Fairgrounds, Santa Rosa. Free public admission & parking. 200 exhibitors, entertainment, food, beverages, door prizes. Events Unlimited, 707-527-7563. www.sonomacoeventsunlimited.com.

Meth and Alcohol Treatment that allows you to keep your day job!

Into This World Yoga Teacher Training

Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help.(707) 576-0818.

Yoga Alliance Registered School! 200-hour and 500-hour programs. Continuing Education for Yoga Teachers! Visit www.intothisworld.net or call 707-664-9560

SUBUTEX/SUBOXONE available for Safe Oxycontin, Vicodin, Other Opiate Withdrawal!

Make Money Protecting Kids - FT/PT Endorsed by Oprah & BBB accredited. Free info/training. Call Chuck 707-538-8688. www.childsafetybiz.com/chuck

Confidential Program. (707) 576 1919

PC Repairs, Installation, Networking and Setup

Medicann - Med. Marijuana Evaluations

Fast, efficient, fair price, references. Call TJ at 707-567-1930

Lic. MD 866-632-6627 Free I.D. card 24/7 verification. Doctor/patient confidentiality. Discount for MediCal, MediCare and veterans.

QB PRO ADVISOR COMES TO YOU Customized setup, hands-on training and support. Your full-service QuickBooks resource. Mac & PC. Quick! Skills 707-827-3765. Free one-hour consult with mention of this ad.

Yes you can afford fitness! Yoga, NIA. Groove Studio. Call for info 707.539.6261

Skirt Chaser Vintage Bring More Joy into Your Life and the lives of others through laughter. www.morejoy.org. Laughter Leader Training/Laughter Clubs 707-824-1993

Unique Fashion for Men and Women—1930's to 1980's $ We Buy $ HOURS: Tues - Thurs 12-6 / Fri & Sat 11-6 / Sunday 12-4 441 Sebastopol Ave - In the A street arts district (707)546-4021

ESP Guitars in stock!

One Day Lamrim Meditation Retreat.

Check out our stock. 860 Piner Rd, #28. Santa Rosa, CA 95403. 707-566-0477.

Join us for a meaningful day of contemplative practice. Presented by Dewikoti and Mahakaruna Buddhist Centers Saturday, May 9, 10:00AM - 4:00PM 20 Manor Road, Fairfax. $25 donation includes veg lunch 415-453-2588

MICHELLE CRAWFORD, ATTORNEY REPRESENTING EMPLOYEES IN SEXUAL HARASSMENT WAGES • TERMINATIONS 20+ YEARS EXPERIENCE, FREE CONSULTS 719 ORCHARD STREET, SANTA ROSA

707.523.7820

Youth Failing School or School Failing Our Youth ? Sign up Now-Integrative Yoga Teacher Training

Black Cat Bar & Humble Pie Restaurant

September 2010!! A 200 hour non-residential program. 1 wknd/mo. for 10 months. Bodyworks-Integrative Yoga Studio. 490 2nd St., Petaluma. 707-769-9933 or www.bodyworksyoga.com

Music, Drink Specials, Seriously Delicious Food! Open Mic Wednesday nights. A must try! The Black Cat is located at 10056 Main St., Penngrove, 707.793.9480.

Try Rancho Bodega School - Small Group/One on One Instruction Enriched Middle/High School Curriculum - Special Studies/Independent Study - Emphasizing Music & Art Serving Grades 7-12 NOW ENROLLING !! Call 707-795-7166 www.ranchobodegaschool.com

I was feeling desperate...

Turning Point Residential Program

I had a job and was slipping fast back into my addiction.

NEW Working Adult Program and NEW Payment Plan

DAAC Turned my Life Around ~ I kept my job! They helped me… and can help you too!

Affordable • Confidential • 35 Years Experience (707) 544-3295 24/7 - www.daacinfo.org

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