North Bay Bohemian

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d! e k a N t a e r G Look n e v er never t oo o ld, N e v e r t o o b ad , rt a t s t o o l at e t o t o o s i c k , n e v er ! i n d b e g i n ag a f r o m s c r a t c h an

a Do Bikram Yog monthly $ unlimited

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a.com gaofsantaros www.bikramyo h & Wilson 7t of er rn on the co a Rosa Street, Sant 522 Wilson

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Santa Rosa

02

05.13.09-05.19.09

THE BOHEMIAN

Expanded yoga clothing collection, books & accessories

Gift Certificates Available

Performances09-10 Enrich. Educate. Entertain. Your Community Non-Profit Arts Center for 28 years

July 14

Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons

Dance

Frank Caliendo

Judy at Carnegie Hall

Pride Comedy Night

November 21 and 22

Starring Alec Mapa & Marga Gomez June 6

July 17

The Envelope Please: Oscar-Winning Music

Madeleine Peyroux

Complexions Contemporary Ballet

August 5

October 21

August 13

Elvis Costello and the Sugarcanes

November 16

August 25

September 11

September 15

Of Mice and Men

September 20

Cabaret

Lisa Lampanelli November 20

December 8 and 9

Dave Koz and Friends Target

Family Fun Series*

Christmas Rocks! Extravaganza December 26 and 27

Renowned Speakers

November 10

Medium & Clairvoyant

Heidi Newfield

Lisa Williams Stephen Sondheim

October 24

November 14

with all seats just $20!

The Moscow Circus

Sweet Charity

January 26

December 12

September 19

African Children’s Choir

Lavay Smith & Her Red Hot Skillet Lickers

August 20

January 22

January 13

Billy Collins & Kay Ryan April 29

Great Moments in Opera February 26

Celtic Legends March 12

February 2

Stellaluna

THE MOSCOW CIRCUS

Ferdinand the Bull

Metta Quintet

March 5

January 29

The Kite Runner

A Year with Frog and Toad

February 19

October 16 & 17

Anthony Bourdain

CARLOS MENCIA

Charlotte’s Web

Carston Cabaret An intimate 136 seat venue

Acoustic Jethro Tull

Goodnight Moon and The Runaway Bunny October 13

October 27 Copperfield’s Books

ELVIS COSTELLO

Larry The Cable Guy

Brian Setzer Orchestra

Spanish Harlem Orchestra

March 23

October 22

A Smooth Jazz Christmas December 15

The Beach Boys

October 29

Rodney Carrington

December 11

Mariachi Divas

October 3

October 2

Posada Navideña

Marco Antonio Solis

101 Years of Broadway

Carlos Mencia

December 10 at 8pm

September 1

CABARET

Semi-Finals September 25

A Johnny Mathis Christmas

Sheryl Crow

Broadway

San Francisco Comedy Competition

A Tribute to the Music of John Denver

Holiday

Diana Krall

Classics from the Martha Graham Dance Company April 24

June 23

April 17 and 18

August 21

Essential Graham:

Bill Engvall

February 27 and 28

Huey Lewis and The News

Champions of the Dance

SHERYL CROW

June 5

Golden Dragon Acrobats

A One-Man Staged Adaptation April 16

April 21

Disney’s Choo-Choo Soul May 15

The Dave Brubeck Quartet & The Ramsey Lewis Trio March 24

Entertain.

Tears for Fears

Friday, May 15

Comedy

Symphony Pops Series*

Educate.

Tickets On-Sale at Noon

Kendall-Jackson

Enrich.

Music

New Season

AFRICAN CHILDREN’S CHOIR

Save up Create Your Own Series! for shows with this icon to 15% Look Purchase 3 shows together to save 10% or 5 shows Word Passport Series •

Discovery Series •

to save 15%

Classics Series

Visit wellsfargocenterarts.org for series descriptions and a full listing of events. Photo: Complexions Contemporary Ballet

Become a Member Call the box office today

* See website for individual ticket on-sale dates.

For tickets call 707.546.3600 (noon-6pm Tue-Sat) Online wellsfargocenterarts.org Hwy 101 to River Road, Santa Rosa • Connecting Our Community through the Arts Wells Fargo Center for the Arts gratefully acknowledges generous support from

WFCA_BOH_FULL_051309.indd 1

THE BOHEMIAN

5/8/09 12:01:43 PM

05.13.09-05.19.09

03

26TH ANNIVERSARY

SPECIAL

$100

OFF

START-UP FEE exp 5/15/09

Coaches Corner

Free Weights • State of the Art Equipment • Group Exercise • Yoga Spinning • Personal Training • Massage Contemporary Line Dance (NEW) S2 Virtual Reality Bikes • Peak Pilates Reformer

Come check out our awesome new Zumba classes!

4 20 M o r r i s S t . S e b a st o p o l 7 0 7 - 8 2 9 -5 1 8 0

04

05.13.09-05.19.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

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How good it is to know that investigative reporting is still alive, at least at the Bohemian. Gretchen Giles’ recent “The Ombudsman’s Complaint� (May 6) is a remarkable piece of journalism in this day and age. Our current age of electronic media seems to make it easier for some to “invent� themselves, to by-pass the traditional expectation of integrity and ethical behavior. Losing the assurance that what is printed in the paper is accurate information undermines the goal of an informed public. Truth does matter. Admitting past shortcomings is never easy, and I think it is even harder in print. You did it with great style. Thank you for that. Also a thank you to Beth Bosk of Mendocino County for contacting you and expressing her concerns. Here is hoping that KZYX will soon follow your lead. Better late than never. Hopefully, they also recognize that truth matters.

Re: “Big-Box Health� by Jessica Dur (Open Mic, May 6). What an amazing writer! This well-written piece of fact, opinion, humor, reality, insight and information has me filled with gratitude that such a clinic is available for the uninsured! Aside from that, this was enjoyable reading! Gifted writers who take ordinary events and express them using extraordinary talent, painting pictures of everyday events with their words—well, let me just acknowledge that it is an art, a God-given treasure.

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A43F>>3 A064 Every time I drive down Highway 101, I feel myself fill with a sense of rage. If you happen to be cruising along the freeway, you are bound to notice the construction underway from Healdsburg to Steele Lane in Santa Rosa but this isn’t what’s fueling my rage. Next time you’re driving along, take a gander to your right. Some may not notice anything abnormal, but for those who do, you will be appalled just as I am. Due to the freeway widening project, dozens of redwood trees have been removed from the

perimeter of the freeway. Many of these trees have been here for well over a 100 years, they’ve stood the test of time, yet in one swift swoop they were gone. And for what reasons have we committed this atrocity? So we can merely accommodate more cars on the already clogged freeway, cars that will inevitably continue to pollute the planet? Does anybody see the irony in this situation? Carbon dioxide is the primary pollutant in the atmosphere, much of which is derived from cars. As fate will have it, trees and plants are one of few things that can help eliminate carbon dioxide from the environment. It doesn’t make sense to remove the trees so we can put more cars on the freeway when our planet is on the brink of catastrophe. As the destruction has already been, I can only learn to control my anger, hope that those trees will be replaced and, as global warming becomes more evident, trust people will become wiser about their future decisions.

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34?C >5 F0H 74H Gretchen Giles, editor of the North Bay Bohemian, finds it to be her great pleasure to announce that Gretchen Giles, editor of the North Bay Bohemian, is one of just 12 writers in the (whole! entire!) United States of America to be chosen to attend the first International Arts Journalism Institute in the Visual Arts sponsored by the National Endowment for the Arts and the U.S. State Department. Twelve other journalists and writers from the Middle East, Northern Africa, Asia and other countries will also participate in this immersion program based at Washington, D.C.’s American University June 11–26. We hasten to add that this is the third time that a Bohemian staffer or contributor has been honored in this way. In 2006, freelance theater reviewer David Templeton was selected to attend the NEA Arts Journalism Institute in Theater and Musical Theater’s 10-day intensive training at USC at the Annenberg School for Communication. In 2007, then–staff writer Patricia Lynn Henley was invited to participate in the Addiction Studies Program for Journalists, part of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation’s Substance Abuse Policy Research Program Conference, as a result of her excellence in covering methamphetamine abuse in the North Bay. Gretchen Giles, editor of the North Bay Bohemian, is pretty darned proud of us all.

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06

05.13.09-05.19.09

THE BOHEMIAN

news for Sonoma, Marin & Napa Counties

“Official Newspaper of the Bearded Iris�

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6A0H ;03H 6A0H Would the ‘Press Democrat’ be better off without its parent publication?

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A lawsuit at the ‘Press Democrat’ illuminates the schism between print and new media, local papers and corporate headquarters By Jim McCaffrey

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nyone who is a regular reader of the Santa Rosa Press Democrat has to have noticed that the once robust flagship of Sonoma County media is shrinking like Saran Wrap in a bonfire. That the staff has been laid off like auto workers. That advertising is running out like tourists from Mexico. As if there isn’t already enough bad news for the paper, on March 30 two former employees filed suit against the Press Democrat in Sonoma County Court Superior Court. Regardless of whether their allegations are upheld, the picture they paint shows that confusion and tension over how to manage news resources at the PD

y B74470= 0C BBD continues more than a year after the two women separated from the paper. What the lawsuit additionally makes clear is that the online and print sides of the PD have coexisted more than uneasily. One PD source who asked to remain unnamed described the two sides of the operation as dual towers with no bridge between them. Leigh Behrens, who before hiring on the PD in 2006 was a hotshot web administrator for the Chicago Tribune, and Laurie Barton, who was a web editor and content manager for the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register before her 2007 PD gig, are suing the Press Democrat and its parent company, the New York Times, along with senior PD editors, managers and publisher Bruce Kyse for, among other things, gender harassment, sex-

based discrimination, retaliation, pregnancy discrimination and wrongful discharge. Among Behrens’ complaints are that emails from reporters sent with PD management’s implied consent called her a racist. Behrens and Barton also claim that senior editorial staff, after specifically being directed not to publish news of the sports blog PDPreps.com, published the news anyway just to offer a “fuck you� to the two. (The complaint says “F.U.�) The women further charge that PD managing editor Bob Swofford and other male managers physically and verbally intimidated and insulted them. Behrens claims that men in the newsroom gossiped in emails that she was having an affair with publisher Kyse and that the affair was the reason for her success. %-

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THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

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Furthermore, Barton says that on Feb. 5, 2008, Swofford was so angry with her handling of online election coverage that he yelled at her until she cried. Barton claims Kyse backed Swofford and even joined in on the intimidation. (Kyse refused multiple requests to be interviewed for this article.) When human resources director Kathy Grant, named in the suit, tried to mediate, Barton alleges Grant told her that there was nothing to say about the complaints and suggested the tearful Barton “go and have a drink.� Barton says that the alleged harassment and intimidation caused her to become nervous and ill. In May 2008, Barton left the Press Democrat on maternity leave. She was later invited back to work but has not returned because she says she believes going back would injure her health, safety and well-being. Behrens was fired from the Press Democrat in February 2008 after the paper held termination hearings based on complaints made against her by male members of her staff. I emailed Swofford to ask him for clarification of the complaints that got Behrens fired. Like Kyse, Swofford refused to be interviewed, replying, “We can’t comment on pending litigation.� (Avoiding reporters may be a New York Times corporate policy. Times owner Arthur Sulzberger refused to talk to reporter Mark Bowden for a feature article on Sulzberger in the May issue of Vanity Fair. Bowden commented, “Ducking interviews is an awkward policy for the leader of the world’s most celebrated newspaper, one that sends a small army of reporters—1,300 of them— into the field every day asking questions.�) Behrens and Barton both must have thought they had big journalism futures when they joined a New York Times publication. Behrens was recruited when she was running a website for the Chicago Tribune called Metromix. The site was generating 700,000 hits a month at the time with its postings of social news, event listings, activities and restaurants and bar reviews. Metromix typically carried stories on topics like where to get Chicago’s best spray-on tan. You can see where Behrens’ work must been attractive to Kyse and the Times. They may have started salivating when they saw Metromix attracting lots of users between the ages of 18 and 35, a highly desirable demographic group for advertisers with a reputation for not reading newspapers. Kyse had just left the corporate offices of the New York Times in 2005 when he hired Behrens. Kyse knew as well as anyone that the corporation was losing money at an alarming and increasingly fast rate. In 2000, Times common stock was worth more than $50 a share; two months ago, shares were selling for less than $4. Behrens, with her proven ability to attract that 18–35 demographic, would have looked like pork chops to Kyse and the slowly starving wolves at the Times. Barton was hired by Behrens early in 2007 to be her top assistant as online content editor. Barton had spent her career working at two papers with major, wellpublicized financial problems. It’s possible, even likely, Barton saw Behrens’ job offer as a professional life raft. Both Behrens and Barton moved house and husbands in order to take jobs with the PD, likely seeing their new positions in Sonoma County as a step toward center ring

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in the big national newspaper circus. Instead, they ended up with tarnished careers, a hole in their rĂŠsumĂŠs and the hope that a successful outcome to their lawsuit will redeem their professional reputations. When David Cardiff, one of the two attorneys representing Behrens and Barton, returned my call, he was cordial when he said he wouldn’t talk to me. Cardiff said not only would he would not comment on the lawsuit, he’d advise his clients not to talk to me. “We don’t want to litigate this in the press,â€? he said. Cardiff gave another reason for not wanting to talk; he said that he didn’t want to spoil an opportunity for settlement talks. Yet the lawsuit is broad in its assertions and vague in its details. Reading the complaint is like watching a bubble dancer. The stripper teases you into thinking you will see everything but in the end she shows you nothing.

1

ehrens chose to run an online operation separate and autonomous from the print newsroom. She and her small staff worked on a separate floor from the newsroom. Staff sources say there was little to no communication between the online publication and the editors of the print edition. Here’s an illustration: Behrens reportedly once saw a staff reporter watching a video created by the online desk as an in-house promotion. The film was playing on televisions in the building lobby. She asked the reporter looking at the video what he thought of the production. He told her he thought it was a waste of resources. He said he thought the money would be better used in paying salaries. Behrens allegedly followed the reporter back to his desk, demanded his name (though he was a veteran with neardaily bylines) and then angrily complained about his remarks to management. Bleys Rose, the PD’s California Media Workers Guild chair at the time, confirmed a major online versus print fight erupted soon after Behrens came on the job. Most contentious was Behrens’ refusal to edit comments on stories posted online. Reporters complained to her that certain pieces—particularly stories concerning Latinos—were targets for racist reader comment. Reporters twice circulated petitions that asked the paper to stop allowing racist remarks in its online readers’ comment. The reporters attached a threat in those petitions to withhold bylines from the online edition of the paper if the PD didn’t begin monitoring and editing online comments. “There was an atmosphere of hostility towards Behrens in the newsroom because these comments were not being edited,� Rose acknowledged. Editors were forced to mediate the disputes with Behrens. Rose said he believes angry reporters did send emails to Behrens protesting the racist remarks. Reporters, Rose said, had two problems with the unedited comments. First, they didn’t want the racist remarks attached to their story because it impacted the newspaper’s credibility. Second, sources were refusing to talk to reporters because they didn’t want to have to deal with the abuse. Rose said he never saw any emails accusing Behrens of sleeping with Kyse, but that he could easily imagine flippant remarks emailed from one reporter to another that said something like Behrens must have gotten her job by sleeping with the publisher.

C

he marriage of the New York Times and the Press Democrat is a story of ironies. For example, the New York Times is the envy of the newspaper business with a website that brings in 173 million or more hits a month, but there is no reader comment at www.newyorktimes.com. The Times bought the PD in 1986. In retrospect, it appears the Old Gray Lady is now the ball and chain in a partnership drowning in an ocean of debt and declining sales. Counselors say finances are often the root cause of trouble in a marriage. That appears to be the case here. A New York Times company press release says in the first quarter of 2009 the company lost $61.6 million, down 9.5 percent from the same quarter last year when the company made a small profit of $6.2 million. The company is carrying more than $1 billion in debt. The Press Democrat is a member of the Times’ Regional Media Group. Advertising for this group is down 29 percent from last year in the first quarter of 2009. The PD’s budgets are not publicly available. The Guild estimates that the company at the height of its profitability in 2003–2004 had an

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approximately 25 percent profit margin on gross revenues of about $67 million. The Guild believes the Press Democrat now has about a 6 percent profit margin on gross revenues of about $37 million. Press Democrat profit apparently evaporates from Sonoma County without materializing with any apparent impact on budget sheets in New York. Meanwhile, the Times continues to demand job cuts to sustain overall corporate profitability. The paper has lost 70 jobs, about 30 percent of the work force, since 2004. The quick reduction of so many reporters, editors, photographers, graphic artists and copy desk/layout people, Rose admits, has the Guild worried about the jobs that are left. Of course, just because there are fewer reporters doesn’t mean there is any less news. Those newsroom staffers left must take pay cuts while assuming more responsibilities. Editors are doing online jobs in addition to their print jobs. Reporters are now carrying cameras and video recorders along with their notebooks and tape recorders as they cover multiple beats. Meanwhile, the Guild estimates younger online workers at the Press Democrat make as much as 6 to 8 percent more than do veteran colleagues in the print newsroom. Some think newspapers may not be justified in putting their faith in the new dogma that online editions are the future of the industry. Research released in December by a firm called ContentNext claims that the New York Times, were it to survive as a web-only product, would need to generate 1.3 billion hits per month, about seven times what it is generating now. Meanwhile, representatives of the Times are publicly admitting online advertising may decrease in 2009, and executives may be toying with the idea of charging for access to its online edition. Everyone I talked to on staff at the Press Democrat—and there were five different sources—said morale can be a problem. But most are just happy to have a job right now. Rose said the Guild believes the paper would not have to make such drastic cuts if it operated independently of the New York Times. His statement leads to a couple of speculations. One, the Press Democrat may sink and drown with its mother ship New York Times, leaving the redwood empire without a large mainstream media source. Alternatively, the Times will hold a fire sale and try to find a buyer for the PD. It’s hard to imagine anyone wanting to buy the Press Democrat if the Times decided to sell. Why take on the debt incurred in buying the Press Democrat when a new daily paper could be started in Sonoma County for half the cost? Why would a new publisher want to take on Guild agreements already in place when they can start negotiations from scratch—if the Guild was even part of a new paper? Sonoma County is a rich market for advertisers with few mainstream outlets for their advertising. A mainstream daily newspaper, as anachronistic as it may seem in this computer age, still looks like a viable business here. But the Press Democrat, as chained to the New York Times, may not be capable of being that viable business model, even as a bridge between the two towers is being built.

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Rose said Behrens explained her refusal to edit reader comment by saying that if the paper edited any reader comment then legally the paper was responsible for verifying all reader comment on the website. Behrens, Rose indicated, believed that leaving the remarks unedited relieved the paper of legal responsibility for libel or slander published in online reader comment. Rose said he had lawyers at the Guild look at the issue. “Her explanation,” he said, “was something most people in the newsroom didn’t buy.” The Guild lawyers determined that papers all over the country edit online reader comment, and the Press Democrat could too if it chose to do so. After Behrens was fired from the paper and new men took over the online publication, a desk in the newsroom was setup for the online editors. The online staff now works closely with print editors on a daily basis. The online editor is frequently seen in the newsroom, particularly when deadlines are approaching. Print editors now have responsibility for posting print stories online. The Guild has little to do with the online side of the PD. This is in part because Kyse always attempted to keep the Guild out of the online side of the operation, according to Rose. To a great degree, Kyse has succeeded in that goal. The Guild has agreed to stay away from all online employees who do not provide original content for the site—in other words, almost all of them. So when Behrens and Barton started complaining of bullying and intimidation, the Guild was not involved in any investigation or hearings on those complaints. Still, Rose, who’s says he’s no fan of managing editor Swofford after years of knocking heads with him over Guild issues, says the accusations about Swofford in the complaint don’t sound like the Swofford he knows. “In six years of my dealing with Bob Swofford as Guild chair,” Rose said, “I never found him to be confrontational, assaultive or acting in a manner to show any great emotion or theatrics. We’ve been on totally opposite sides of heated issues. He’s certainly not a friend of mine. But in my view, I have to say it would be out of character for Bob Swofford [to act in the manner described in the complaint].”

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oor, poor special election propositions. They’re so unpopular, even proponents are asking Californians to vote yes in a kind of hangdog, best-of-a-badsituation kind of way. “I’ve been describing the ballot measures as ‘crisis management.’ They’re not budget reform,� says Assemblyman Bill Monning, who is supporting all six. “We have to weather the storm as best we can.� But as the May 19 state election draws nigh and five of the six ballot proposals continue to poll poorly, it seems only logical to ask, what happens if they fail? First off, says California Budget Project director Jean Ross, things have changed quite a bit since this February deal was put together. “They’re implying that if the ballot measures pass, we won’t have a problem. Wrong,� she says. “The gap is going to grow regardless, even if all the budget measures are approved.� The projected deficit has been widening as tax revenues trickle in at even lower rate than anticipated in February’s budget, and the damage for the next fiscal year is now being estimated by the Legislative Analyst’s Office (LAO) to be somewhere between $8 billion and $10 billion. So no matter what,

it’s back to the drawing board. According to Ross, Propositions 1A and 1B won’t have immediate consequences for this year’s budget but are seen by many to be the most important propositions, especially in terms of future tax revenue, education money and as a step toward calming the state’s budget volatility. The revenues that go away in two years without Prop. 1A will gouge holes out of the 2011–’12 and 2012–’13 fiscal years, Monning says. The most clear danger for this year’s budget is the failure of Proposition 1C, which promises $5 billion in money borrowed against future lottery profits, and the failure of Propositions 1D and 1E, which would contribute a little less than $1 billion redirected from the First Five early childhood programs and mental health services. That loss would be tacked on to the shortfall LAO already sees coming. “If these go down, they’re going to have to borrow and cut to get to $16 billion which is . . . I can’t fathom it,� said former assemblyman and Budget Committee chairman John Laird last week—and that was before the governor had weighed in with the fresh bad news, which puts the total up to $21 billion. “The stakes are high,� said Current Budget Committee member Monning. “There’s kind of no plan B.� But with an $8billion to $15 billion shortfall already a foregone conclusion, someone ought to be formulating a plan B. “I would argue they ought to tell us today how they’re going to close that gap,� says Ross. “There’s a lot of talking behind closed doors, not a lot in public.� Gov. Schwarzenegger has mentioned a proposal to cut $80.8 million from CalFire—right at the start of the summer fire season in another drought year—if the propositions fail, and though that may appear to be an attempt to scare up some more votes for the propositions, huge cuts will certainly have to be made when the governor comes back with a revised budget sometime in late May or even June. Monning says he and his fellow Democrats are already planning for the consequences of both an $8 billion and a $16 billion shortfall. “The Democratic caucus did a budget exercise a week and a half ago,� he says. “We were able to capture some of it through mechanisms with the Department of Corrections, an early release program. We looked at some revenue neutral adjustments with a majority vote that could capture $3 billion to $4 billion in increased revenue.� This includes raising certain fees, like the vehicle license fee. Though the governor promised to block a budget passed by simple majority back in December, Monning says that at the time, “He prudently didn’t criticize the majority vote as inherently illegal. I think he did that realizing he may have to accept a majority vote at some point.� Where the rest of that $16 billion or $21 billion is coming from is anybody’s guess at this point. If these propositions fail, Republicans and Democrats will once again have to lock horns in an attempt to balance the budget, and in time for the July 1 deadline, though Laird says, “with a problem that big, I can see it going into July.� Some fear that cuts on the back of cuts will reach into that final frontier of services: public safety. “The governor is articulating that there’s no way out of this without cutting everybody,� Monning says. “We can’t protect any one sector with this big a deficit.�

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Rescue our communities and we rescue ourselves By Arthur Kopecky

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ast year, I wrote an essay in the Bohemian that stated, “Growth and debt are the cure for everything, but they cannot expand endlessly. We are reaching the limits now.� A year later, we have passed those limits and fallen off a cliff in a grand way. The high and mighty, the wealthy and arrogant, were totally blind. But the hippies saw the abyss. We have crisis on top of crisis now. Just recently, headlines have announced that difficulties in the dairy industry threaten the existence of our precious family farms. And daily we hear the drum roll of layoffs and rising unemployment, among the most profound dilemmas facing society. Yet few people see how these two problems could fit together to help ameliorate each other. There once were the beginnings of a “back to the land� movement, and that effort continues on a subdued level in intentional communities, some of them right here in the North Bay. There is greater interest in local, organic, non-factory-farmed food. There is greater interest in ideas of community, reversing the alienation of modern society. There is greater interest in the ethics of service and pulling together to face common problems with “green� solutions. All these impulses dovetail into the notion of the extended family farm, one that is “in service to a culture of conscious kinship,� to quote the local Green Valley Village’s mission statement. Somehow, when we think of the word “challenge,� we think grandiosely, like going to the moon. If a call went out to fill a colony ship to Mars, thousands of volunteers would line up. Show humans an impossible rock face or high mountain peak, and some have just got to go there. So what about this greatest challenge of all: getting along well enough to share a farm and create a safety net? There aren’t full-time jobs for everyone, not even close, and there are many reasons why we can’t go back to accelerating development. Here in Sonoma County, we have a specific and immediate challenge. The wonderful St. Anthony dairy farm near Bloomfield is up for sale. The multimillion-dollar price is a pittance compared to the wealth in the county. Is there not a group that would rally to create a live-in school, learning center and country home-assistance center? Are there no patrons

who can envision the power of a revitalized “back to the land� movement? We have books about forming community and connecting with one another, like Diana Christian’s Creating a Life Together. We have the local Occidental Arts and Ecology Center, which specializes in the challenge of how to organize intentional communities. I myself am a former dairy herdsman and community member with a bit to offer. Sonoma County is special, both visually and intellectually. Preserving our rural heritage with a group effort would shine a light across our country— indeed, across the planet, a world that faces these very same contradictions: disappearing farms, cities crowded with the unemployed, and the need to find creative, friendly, solutions. Many of us want President Barack Obama to succeed. We believe in the great shift, the time of transformation, the new paradigm. But the president alone cannot do this. There must be some grass-roots action. Entrepreneurs will play a part creating new businesses; another group will have to control some of the farms with lots of people who get food and shelter, and, in return, devote themselves in service to those on the road, the seekers, the ones who are not in the debt system, and others. This would help encourage a culture shift toward generosity and concern, so different from the obsessively selfish and narrow vision of the prevailing culture. As times get harder, there is a tendency to descend into angry rhetoric and blame. The group that can add something positive, hopeful and helpful will change the face of history. And we need it. The intentional community farms are the ideal vehicle, the necessary element, if a progressive renaissance is to blossom in this stressful time. It took WW II to put an end to the last giant economic crisis. We’re going to have to do something massively better this time around. The farms are there crying for help. Where are the people who would create something fresh?

Preserving our rural heritage with a group effort would shine a light across our country— indeed, across the planet.

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Arthur Kopecky is the author of two books about the New Buffalo commune (portrayed in ‘Easy Rider’), a carpenter and contractor, living in Sebastopol with his family amid many gardens. Open Mic is now a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 700 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.

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F

e are what we drink—and what we drink from. I was once employed by a dysfunctional government organization. I managed to escape, but never forgot that in the main administrative offices of that dark place, everyone was served coffee in Styrofoam cups. That explained everything. Styrofoam is the brand name of Dow Chemical’s own polystyrene product, which is used for industrial purposes including insulation. The ubiquitous Styrofoam cup is actually just a polystyrene cup. But in the same way that Kleenex became generic for tissues, Styrofoam is the name that stuck to that white substance that can poison food and drink. Hot coffee with milk or cream in a polystyrene cup is not mere java but actually a cocktail of coffee and styrene. A suspected carcinogen that also mimics body estrogens, styrene migrates into the drinker and takes up residence. The presence of these chemicals is linked to numerous diseases including cancers. The Grinning Planet website (www.grinningplanet.com) reports that an EPA tissue survey showed that styrene was found in 100 percent of human fat samples biopsied. Fatty foods placed hot into (or reheated in) styrene containers greatly enhances the migration of the chemicals from container to human. As much as I shudder to think I’m carrying styrene around in my body, I feel just as bad contemplating the floating scab of plastic, styrene and Styrofoam that makes up the North Pacific Gyre, a marine debris concentration reported twice the size of Texas and from 10 to 50 feet deep in places. That’s where so many of those packaging peanuts and coffee cups end up. Environment California legislative director Dan Jacobson pronounces them “devil cups,� and is circulating a petition to ban polystyrene. “Why should we get 10 minutes of use from a product that sticks around on the planet for a thousand years?� he asks. The organization has challenged Jamba Juice to stop using styrene cups by asking Californians to boycott the popular fruit smoothie chain.

“We are organizing a Styro-strike because we want styrene banned everywhere,� Jacobson says, “starting with Jamba Juice.� Jacobson is aware that Jamba Juice markets itself as a company that promotes healthy living and healthy drinks. Some of its stores promote customers bringing in their own reusable drink cups. But when you go up to the counter and order a drink, you get it in a styrene cup—except in those communities where the citizens have called for a ban. Orange County and Santa Cruz have bans, and next year Palo Alto enacts a recently voted ban. “If they will stop serving drinks in styrene cups,� Jacobson promises, “I’ll be the first one in line for a mango smoothie.� The biggest environmental problem with styrene is that it breaks into small pieces that are estimated to last 10 centuries and may never decompose. These bits and pieces defile the landscape and end up on the beach and in the craws of animals that can’t tell food from foam pellets until the object has been swallowed. Not only does styrene offer a toxic stand-in for real food, in the North Pacific Gyre it joins forces with plastic to displace food that would otherwise be present for marine life. Scientists have measured six times more plastic than plankton filling the waters of this area. On April 13, the New York Times reported an invention to replace Styrofoam—a combination of fungus and volcanic glass invented by Eben Bayer in 2007 for use as insulation. But, like Dow’s Styrofoam, one doesn’t get takeout food in it or drink coffee from it. No one needs to invent a replacement for the foam cup, because it already has been invented: cardboard with wax lining or plant-based plastics that can be tossed in the compost pile to become soil. I can’t understand why anyone’s still using styrene food and beverage containers when there are biodegradable alternatives. The boycott sounds like a good idea. My second grader will be disappointed about not going to Jamba Juice anymore, but I will be happy to make him smoothies at home served in biodegradable glass.

‘Why should we get 10 minutes of use from a product that sticks around on the planet for a thousand years?’

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y inbox has been pummeled recently by a slew of emails warning me of the evils of a bill currently working its way through Congress. Sponsored by Rep. Rosa DeLauro, D-Conn., HR 875—aka the Food Safety Modernization Act of 2009—is one of a raft of bills introduced in the wake of the peanut-butter-borne salmonella outbreak. All of these proposed bills, which ostensibly seek to improve food safety with increased regulation, threaten to jeopardize local food systems with over-regulation. Unfortunately, it’s been difficult to get a grip on the bills’ true dangers because of all the alarmist hype that’s accompanied them—especially, for some reason, HR 875. “If [HR 875] passes, say goodbye to organic produce, your local farmers market and very possibly, the GARDEN IN YOUR OWN BACKYARD!!!!!� one email announced.

Another warned that HR 875 would result in the “criminalization of seed banking, prison terms and confiscatory fines for farmers.� Nearly all the emails claim, “DeLauro’s husband Stanley Greenburg works for Monsanto!� It turns out Stanley Greenberg is indeed the CEO of a polling firm that did, indeed, contract with Monsanto. But it’s no more true to say he works for Monsanto than to say he works for Nelson Mandela—another former client. “There is a perfectly legitimate conversation to be had about how we can have food-safety regulation without jeopardizing small farms and local food systems,� says Patty Lovera, assistant director of Food and Water Watch, a national nonprofit. “But it’s hard to have a rational conversation via these forwarded emails. It’s not happening in a way that’s going to change the policy.� Lovera assures that HR 875 wouldn’t regulate seed saving, backyard gardens or farmers markets. It would, however, split the Food and Drug Administration into separate agencies, one

for food and one for drugs. Food and Water Watch supports that. Unfortunately, Lovera says, splitting the FDA might be too daunting a task for lawmakers to take on right now, and the proposed bill probably won’t make it to law. More likely to reach a vote, Lovera says, is HR 759, called the Food and Drug Administration Globalization Act. While this proposed bill has drawn less attention than the others, she thinks it’s more likely to cause big problems for small farmers. If passed, HR 759 would make recordkeeping requirements that currently apply to food processors extend to farms, and require that such recordkeeping be done electronically. It would also mandate that all farms become certified in so-called good agricultural practices. Following these practices, which are mostly aimed at controlling microbial contamination, turns out to be easier for farms that grow just a few things than it is for diverse, integrated farms—especially if the farm contains livestock. These and other aspects of HR 759 boil down, once again, &+ THE BOHEMIAN

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THE BOHEMIAN

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to rules that would place a disproportionate burden on small, family farms in their attempt to regulate the large factory farms where most food-safety problems originate. These are but two of several proposed bills (some others are HR 814 and SR 425) that are supposedly aimed at preventing E. coli in spinach, downer cattle in school lunches, feathers in chicken patties and other horror stories we’ve grown all too used to hearing. But by extending these regulations to the small farms that typically are not the sources of these problems, the playing field will further tilt in favor of corporate agriculture. And this is truly cause for concern. “What people don’t realize is that if any of these bills pass, we lose. All we will have left is industrial food,� says Deborah Stockton, executive director of the National Independent Consumers and Farmers Association, which promotes unregulated farmer-to-consumer trade and the commercial availability of locally grown and home-produced food products. One of Stockton’s top priorities is ending the controversial National Animal Identification System (NAIS). Implemented by the USDA in 2003 without congressional approval, NAIS is a federal registry program for livestock and for the premises where animals live or visit. The system’s stated purpose is to aid state and federal government response to outbreaks of animal disease. “NAIS is a safety net for the corporate livestock industry,� Stockton told me. “They’re the ones with the practices that are creating problems for human and animal health, and they’re the ones who need NAIS to cover their backs when something goes wrong. The main threats to food safety are centralized production, processing and longdistance transportation.� While she dislikes NAIS, Lovera says the bills currently under consideration are aimed at the FDA, and NAIS is not an FDA program; it’s USDA. While she sees many problems with the current bills, strengthening NAIS isn’t one of them. Stockton disagrees. If any of these bills pass, she says, it would ratify NAIS and strengthen the USDA’s ability to make it mandatory that all livestock, including your flock of backyard chickens, be registered. A food-safety bill palatable to locavores will have to protect local food systems with specific language that guarantees small family farms, backyard gardens, personal livestock and farmers markets, and all forms of food self-sufficiency and farmer-direct purchasing are exempted. These regulations need to target the factory farms where the problems lie and not the small farms that could and should be the solution. I’m hardly alone in believing the right to buy milk from your neighbor or grow your own food is as inalienable as the right to bear arms. And if lawmakers try to take this right away, they’re going to see a backlash to make the NRA seem like a bunch of flowerwagging Hare Krishnas.

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Seating is Limited, please call for Reservations

707.546.5100 www.starkssteakhouse.com | 707.546.5100 | 521 Adams Street, Santa Rosa www.williswinebar.net | 707-526-3096 | 4404 Old Redwood Hwy, Santa Rosa www.willisseafood.net | 707-433-9191 | 403 Healdsburg Avenue, Healdsburg www.montisroti.net | 707-568-4404 | 714 Village Ct, Montgomery Village, Santa Rosa

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With Special Guest: Winemaker Ted Seghesio Thursday, May 21st at 6pm $80 per person (plus tax & gratuity)

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Featuring the Italian Varietal Wines of Seghesio Paired with Regional Italian Dishes with a Stark's Steakhouse Twist.

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Invite you to their "Big Night" Winemaker Dinner

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Stark's Steakhouse & Seghesio Family Winery

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THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

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05.13.09-05.19.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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05.13.09-05.19.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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The sommelier of Carneros Bistro & Wine Bar is talking about what makes food so special in Sonoma, and particularly for his own restaurant at the Lodge at Sonoma, where chef Janine Falvo utilizes a cornucopia of local ingredients for her seasonal California menus. Whatever we could possibly want to eat, he explains, is grown right here. And with such richness of what’s available, any type of cooking is possible. As proof, he was showing off salt—all kinds of salt—handcrafted by Falvo in a feast of avors like hazelnut, strawberry, Chardonnay, salt-cured olive custard, pretzel-caramel tart, and eur de sel ice cream (recipes for which would certainly come in handy should the county ever ďŹ nd itself bobbing out in the middle of the PaciďŹ c). Besides having fun, part of Sawyer’s point was to encourage diners to think outside the box when they consider “California cuisine.â€? More than just rustic American, it’s broadened recently into many other international avors—pretty much anything goes as long as it enjoys the uniting theme of celebrating produce, meats, cheeses and such produced by North Bay farmers, ranchers and artisans. Which is why Sawyer and Falvo have just introduced another way to appreciate “newâ€? Sonoma cuisine. Every Sunday, Carneros Bistro now offers Italian food, made, of course, with homegrown ingredients. The three-course prix ďŹ xe meals reect Falvo’s Italian heritage, with an emphasis on comfort foods and unexpected delights. The dinner might start with arancini, pasta e fagioli or “greens and beans.â€? The entrĂŠe may be rabbit Bolognese, baccala casserole or a mixed plate of veal, goat and pancetta. Dessert could be sambuca mousse or strufoli honey cookies. It’s expected that tomatoes will be a highlight and that sausage will star, as Falvo’s parents grow their own fruit in the summer and make their own sausage in the winter. Salt? There will likely be a sprinkle or two. Reservations are recommended; chainsaws are not. Carneros Bistro & Wine Bar, 1325 Broadway (in the Lodge at Sonoma), Sonoma. 707.931.2042.

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05.13.09-05.19.09

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6>DA<4C 0D 10H ine at the coast is a mixed pleasure. On the beach proper, it makes a ďŹ ne accessory to good times, but not to good winetasting notes. And then there’s the issue of glass. Sure, a ďŹ ne time can be had with boxed wine and plastic cups—maybe throw in some soda and call it a cooler.

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Advertisements in travel magazines and tourism brochures, however, make it seem that the major activity couples enjoy on the seaside is clinking wine glasses whilst silhouetted in the foreground of a golden sunset shimmering over the waves. And seafood takes to wine even better than water. I made a little headway toward resolving these contradictions while wine surďŹ ng Bodega Bay—with just one taste of Mahoney Vineyards Carneros Vermentino ($21), a lean and lively pale white, perfumed as subtly as sea spray, that rides the edge of refreshing limelike acidity with deceptive ease. In a light, perpetual afternoon breeze, overlooking the partially sheltered waters of Bodega Bay from the deck of Gourmet au Bay, this was vino perfecto. My group reected that while we don’t get any actual fresh catch out of these waters anymore, hell, at least we’ve got great local wine. And the views. Wine ights are efďŹ ciently served on custom wooden “surfboardâ€? trays, an invention of the previous owners. Hard to believe this shop has been here on Highway 1 since 1995—for locals, the sign promising, “wine, giftsâ€? is not a sure lure—but the new owners are a young couple who’ve done a good job of increasing its visibility and viability as a nice coastal joyride pit stop. The wine racks stock a modest, eclectic selection of locals—Longboard, naturally; also Vision Cellars, Fort Ross, Fleur—weighted in the $20–$30 price range, and a few South African or New Zealand specials. The Chardonnay list, in particular, demonstrates both a savvy understanding of their clientele and a principled approach to the list. Plenty of unspendy bottles under $20 for vacationing fans of Americans’ favorite wines and no run-of-the-mill big brands. Besides hooch, Gourmet au Bay is well stocked with gifts, wine ware and books; again, mainly eclectic, not the usual bric-a-brac.

Simply Vietnam

Traditional Vietnamese Restaurant

Oxbow Public Market 610 First Street, Napa www.picapicakitchen.com

The second wine off the board, a woody Mackenzie Chardonnay ($18), might have been better with the artisan cheese and cracker plate ($12). That’s all for snacking, but Gourmet au Bay encourages patrons to bring a picnic or takeout lunch to enjoy on their deck (conversely, they’ve got a free corkage arrangement with local restaurants). Cold crab cakes and sparkling wine by the sunset over bay? Sounds like a date. Gourmet au Bay, 913 Hwy. 1, Bodega. Wine surďŹ ng, $8. 707.875.9875.

We got wheels and we can participate at festivals and fairs or cater parties. For information, email: events@picapicakitchen.com

Enjoy the Best Inexpensive Dinner in Napa

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fresh ingredients large dining room friendly staff always affordable

dine in & take out

707.566.8910

James Knight

966 North Dutton Ave~Santa Rosa Mon–Sat 10–9m Sunday 11–8

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L8 HZi dc aVcY i]Vi lVh i]Z Ydlgn \^[i l]Zc 8]VgaZh @gj\ bVgg^ZY ^c &-+%! i]^h ZhiViZ l^cZgn heZX^Va^o^c\ ^c 8VW [ZVijgZh V l^cZ"V\^c\ XVkZ Wj^ai g^\]i ^cid i]Z h^YZ d[ Heg^c\ BdjciV^c# '.'% Heg^c\ BdjciV^c GdVY! CVeV# 7n Veed^cibZci# ,%,#.+-#.''.#

The local preference for authentic Vietnamese

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r i s t o r a n t e 241 Healdsburg Ave, Healdsburg 707.433.6000 www.cenaluna.com THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

23

allan a llan p pollack, ol l ack, artistic artistic d director i recto r & conductor conductor

Brilliant classical/rock classical/rock violinist

Alexander A l ex a n d e r Markov M arkov

ju jjuly uly y 11 through th thro ough gh jjuly ju uly ly 25

t o th two thousand d nine i

JULY JULLY 13 ! "" # $ % & & '(( )*

features his electric violin “Black Devil�

tickets tick kets & information: 707.937.4041 7077. 9377.404 . 1

www.mendocinomusic.com ww w ww.mendocinomusic.com w w. m e n d o c i n o m u s i c . c o m

men m eennd docino do oci cino

music mus m usic ffe festival est sttiiva val 23RD SEASON

| opera | orchestra | chamber | jazz | world | pop |

Rocket Cafe C A F E & C AT E R I N G

Visit us at the HARMONY FESTIVAL

Monthly menu changes with cuisines from around the world—inspired dishes with the usual Sushi on Friday & Saturday as well as Brunch on Sundays from 9:30am-2:00pm. May: Spanish Menu

Fine Dining For Wild Birds

Tues–Thurs: 11:30am-8:00 Fri: 11:30am-9:00 Tues–Fri, closed at 3pm, reopen at 5:30pm Saturdays 5:30pm-9:30pm

Cheapest Vacation Around!! 18812 Sonoma Hwy 707-933-9755

WOMEN EARLY CALIFORNIA ARTISTS—Exhibition and Sale

** BODEGA BAY HERITAGE GALLERY **

71 Brookwood Ave., Santa Rosa 707.576.0861 Mon-Sat 10am-5:30pm, Sun 11am-4pm • www.wbu.com

Birdseed . Feeders . Birdbaths . Optics . Nature Gifts . Books 24

05.13.09-05.19.09

THE BOHEMIAN

1850 Eastshore Rd. Bodega Bay 707-875-2911 BodegaBayHeritageGallery.com Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays noon -5pm

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?>BC =4F 1D;;4C8= Things are looking up in Napa, with Body or Brain, the ‘lost boys of Neverland,’ making a highprofile go at it.

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A^RZ 0\^]V cWT EX]ThPaSb Napa has always been a dead scene for teens. So what’s with the sudden explosion of bands? By Gabe Meline

;

ast year, Jakey Lee was frustrated with Napa. All of his skater friends had been harassed by the cops so often that they had stopped skating and just did drugs instead. All of his musician friends had declared Napa a dead town and had moved away or given up. All of the house parties his band played had started getting busted up after the first song. On the cusp of leaving Napa behind, Lee, just 21 and with plane ticket in hand, made a decision. He was going to help Napa get a scene. His band, Body or Brain, with Robert Bradley, 23, and Taylor Hight, 22, was going to make it. Their lives would become one giant thrust toward putting Napa on the map. One year later, it’s starting to work. Suddenly, there are dozens of bands in Napa. Suddenly, there are places to play. Suddenly, people under 21—perpetual outcasts in an area dominated by the wine industry—have something to do.

Olivia Everett, who’s organizing a Battle of the Bands at the Napa Valley Opera House on June 12, provides a telling barometer of the shift. “We had 20 bands apply, with only eight slots, and we still have a lot of great bands asking if the selections have been made,� she says. “In total, we’ve had something like 25 bands express interest, and this for a town that, according to itself, constantly complains that there’s nothing going on. I think they’ve just proven themselves wrong.�

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n a recent Thursday night, over 150 kids stand between the pool tables at Bilco’s Billiards to catch two local bands, Defying Truth and the Helen Kellers. There are all types of people: guys with dyed hair, blondes in jeans and college sweatshirts, a girl in plaid tights with bright Converse sneakers and a Police T-shirt. The vibe is communal, clique-free and mostly mellow, until the show ends with Helen Kellers frontman Ryan Rushworth diving backward over a brass railing onto a table, various audience members

commandeering the microphone, band members switching instruments and the drum set splaying apart while the crowd goes nuts. Putting their heads together afterward, Napa musicians Brian McKee, Dylan Varner and Mikey Rhinehart, all under 20, join Bradley and Lee to make a list of current Napa Valley bands. They give up after naming 17: Body or Brain, Cloverleaf Drive, Defying Truth, the Subtones, Over the Garden, Viridian City, the Helen Kellers, Magnanimous, Rumblefish, In These Walls, Planets, Rude Intoxicant, Brazen Bull, Thy Winter Shadow, Serf and James, Nana de Carlo and the Aftermath. “The cool thing is that every band has a different style,� Rhinehart says. “No two bands sound the same.� In addition to nightlife, the newfound opportunities for bands, they say, has helped curb drug use, which by anyone’s measure is widespread. Pot and speed make the usual rounds, but lately Ecstacy has been the thing in Napa. “I’m not gonna lie,� Varner says, “I '+ saw someone earlier tonight on E who THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

25

'*

& C U LT U R E

MICHAEL CHIARELLO

RICARDO LEMVO

5/14 @ 7pm

5/16 @ 8pm

Napa’s own Emmy-winning, celebrity chef joins us for culinary conversation, food & wine tastings. $15

HOT Afro-Cuban beats that guarantee a smile on your face & the urge to move.salsa lesson & no-host margaritas @ 7:30. $25

In conversation with GraceAnn Walden

WWW.MARINJCC.ORG

CHRIS GARDNER

In conversation with Willie Brown

& MAKINA LOCA

415.444.8000

5/21 @ 7pm

200 N. SAN PEDRO RD, SAN RAFAEL, 94903

Paintings by Sonoma County artists Judy Butler and (introducing) Linda Sorensen

local color artist gallery 1850 Eastshore Rd. Bodega Bay 707-875-2744 LocalColorGallery.com

26

LindaSorensenPaintings.com

05.13.09-05.19.09

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I was talking to. It’s not as big as it was a month ago, but it’s still popular.� Drugs are easy to get in Napa; I’m given a run-down of where to buy along with somber stories about recent overdoses. “But then these shows started popping up,� McKee adds, “and it gave kids something to do.� Melody Harris, the girl in the plaid tights, comes by and offers a copy of Napkin News, her zine dedicated to the Napa scene. It’s a photocopied, folded sheet straight out of the mid-’90s, and it contains upcoming shows, interviews, musings and news about Napa bands and venues. “Bands have always been around,� she says, “but they didn’t start coming out of the woodwork until recently because they had no place to play, and that’s all changing. Plus, if you are a teen in Napa, really, what else are you gonna do? This isn’t a ‘youth-friendly’ town, but that’s something else that’s changing.� What about skating? Doesn’t Napa have a skatepark? “Skaters are hated by adults in this town,� McKee says. “Cops just look for a chance to bust young people. If it doesn’t have to do with wineries making money, they don’t want to have anything to do with it.� Varner agrees: “Once you get your license in Napa, you stop skating.� Bradley chimes in. “Once you get your license in Napa,� he says, “you leave Napa.� Later, Lee and Bradley walk me down to the skatepark, a half-block concrete area that’s dimly lit and scattered with litter, next to the city’s sanitation-treatment building. No one’s out tonight at all, other than the occasional car that drives by and yells unintelligible threats at us out the window. We stop at one point, in the middle of downtown at 11pm, and the complete and utter silence is stunning. “Hear that?� Bradley says. “That’s the sound of nightlife in Napa.�

;

auren Roll, who books the bands at Bilco’s, started inviting younger bands almost as a community service. “Unfortunately, there is absolutely nothing for anyone under the age of 18—even 21 and younger; there’s pretty much nothing for you to do at nighttime,� she says. “I’ve been lucky enough to get a lot of the younger crew coming in, anywhere from 14 to 18, that have some really good music going on.� Across town and down a long driveway in Napa’s industrial area, past granite and sign shops, is Rockzilla. Named for the myriad rock-climbing walls that fill the 25foot-high warehouse, the title is also fitting for the band playing. When I walk in, a singer in a basketball jersey is screaming his way through a metal-ska version of Mac Dre’s hyphy anthem “Thizzle Dance,� while three boys stomp around the blue rock-climbing pad in front of the band: one in a spiked leather jacket, one in tiedye, one shirtless. The band finish playing, and the kid in the leather jacket comes by to try and sell me the band’s demo, a Sharpied CD-R with

“The Scenic Route� May 16 through June 28

JudyButlerArt.com

Chris Gardner (The Pursuit of Happyness) discusses his life, career, philosophy and most recent book. $ 32 w/book / $12

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no case for five bucks. Audience members try their hand at climbing the rock walls while the next band’s guitarist warms up in a series of technically proficient metal solos that sound like a hundred fax machines arguing with each other. It takes them about 40 minutes to officially start playing, when an amp is finally delivered via an overheated car. As at Bilco’s the week before, it seems the crowd at Rockzilla rejects class division or social status; everyone seems to get along under the banner of something exciting actually happening in Napa. Along with the blend of cliques here is a noticeable integration of age and race. There are parents, veteran rockers, teenagers and small kindergarteners—and there’s also more black and Latino people here than at any non-hip-hop show over the hill in Sonoma County.

;

ee, who is half-black, adopted and raised in a mobile home park, is an active proponent of the “real� Napa and an outspoken critic of Napa’s renown for wine and wine only. He tells of writing to guitarist Chris Walla from Death Cab for Cutie, and receiving a response that still irks him: “How’s Napa?� Walla wrote. “Go taste some wine for me.� As if funneling this frustration into their instruments, Body or Brain’s performances are mind-blowing demonstrations of the limber gymnastics of youth. Lee plays riffs on the electric guitar with his bare hands, no pick, and he moves like a clock spring that’s frantically uncoiling. He jumps, kicks, slings the guitar around his back, tap-dances, does the splits and moonwalks, all while playing the guitar and not missing a note. The band’s new EP, Second Star to the Right, could’ve been a dour complaint ref lecting the nothingness for kids in Napa. Instead, it creates a whole new Napa, a vibrant, exciting Napa that’s full of energy and tight hooks, a Napa where everyone’s invited to the party. When “It’s Just Like Magic� was played on Live 105 recently, DJ Aaron Axelsen called them an “exciting new local band from the 707.� Getting played on Live 105 and headlining in San Francisco—50 of their fans drove down last month for a club date—is only the beginning of Body or Brain’s determined promotion plan for Napa. “What’s gonna change this town’s reputation is a band breaking out from here,� Lee confidently predicts. “There’ve been venues and places to play, but honestly, nothing’s gonna last until a band breaks out of here.� And what if it doesn’t work? “That’s not gonna happen,� Lee says. “We’re gonna do it.� The Napa Valley Battle of the Bands, featuring Body or Brain, Cloverleaf Drive, Defying Truth, the Helen Kellers, Nana de Carlo, Serf and James, the Subtones and Viridian City plus guests Flea Face Wash and Magnanimous, goes off on Friday, June 12, at the Napa Valley Opera House, 1030 Main St., Napa. 6pm. $10. 707.226.7372. For more info Hi Barn, see www.wanderingrose.org.

@A.42

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70A3 2>?H Chad Yarish, Keith Baker, Dodds Delzell break some spines.

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The Rep rips into another ‘reduced’ epic By David Templeton

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crowbar has fallen out of Dodd’s Delzell’s backpack. On a recent Saturday afternoon, as actors Keith Baker, Chad Yarish and Delzell gather at the Sonoma County Repertory Theater in Sebastopol to rehearse the upcoming show All the Great Books (Abridged), a heavy crowbar slips from Delzell’s bag and clatters to the f loor with a loud crash. There is a short pause, as everyone stares at the crowbar, each man trying desperately to come up with the first joking response. Delzell wins. “Yeah,� he says, “I was just doing a few extracurricular house burglary jobs before rehearsal. Don’t pay any attention to that.� In truth, the crowbar has to do with a do-it-yourself plumbing job Delzell’s been doing at his house, but it stands as a nifty example of this trio’s attitude after spending the last several weeks immersed in the world of Great Books, a “reduced� comedy by Reed Martin and Austin Tichenor, creators of The Complete History of America (Abridged) and The Bible: The Complete Word of God (Abridged). As the play gets ready to open this weekend, Delzell, Yarish and Baker have become focused on one thing: how to make a joke out of everything that happens. “It’s nuts. It’s overwhelming, but it’s a lot of fun,� says Baker of his first appearance in a “reduced� show, this being the fourth such show presented by the Rep under the direction of Jennifer King. “This kind of comedy is pretty much the polar opposite of the serious dramatic stuff I’ve been working on lately,� he says. “This is a true comedy,

nothing but laughs for an hour forty-five.� “This being my second ‘reduced’ show,� says Yarish, who appeared in the Rep’s version of the Bible show two years ago, “it’s great to be getting back into it, just running around and laughing like an idiot. I feel like maybe I’m getting the hang of it now. I certainly know what to expect from the rehearsal process, I know we’re going to be running nonstop for three hours a day until the show opens, and then I’m going to be running nonstop for an hour and 45 minutes every day until the show closes.� If it closes. The “reduced� shows tend to have extended runs when they play at the Rep. In preparation for the very real possibility of a held-over run, all of the actors have been asked to keep their schedules open for the next several weeks. Just in case. “The first time I directed one of these shows,� King interjects, “it was the Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged). I learned pretty quickly that with these shows, it’s more like doing choreography than like directing. It’s one big comedic dance.� In this one, a trio of high school teachers—the coach (Delzell), the professor (Yarish) and the student teacher (Baker)— attempt to give a crash course in English literature by bringing to life 86 of the greatest books ever written. Asked if the performers have learned anything about literature while working on this show, Yarish is the first to jump in. “Yes! Yes, I have,� he says. “I’ve learned that I don’t need to read Henry David Thoreau’s Walden now, because apparently, it’s just a big boring book about fishing.� “What I’ve learned,� says Baker, “is the weird, personal way in which most people view literature. People all around the world will say, ‘Ulysses, right, by James Joyce, yes, great book!’ And yet no one has actually read it. They just know that it’s long, it’s unintelligible and it’s about some Irish guy. But that’s enough, and that’s all we need to give you 10 minutes of hilarious theater.� “I’ve actually gone and read a few of the books, the ones I didn’t know,� admits Delzell sheepishly. “Hearts Desire, The Silent Spring, The Fountainhead—that last one, by Ayn Rand, I had no idea what that was about. The Fountainhead? What the hell’s a fountainhead? I thought maybe it was about a pen. Who knew it was about an architect?� When invited to mention the novels they most wish had been included in the show, it’s Baker who responds first, but Delzell who gets the funniest joke. “Catch 22,� says Baker. “Catcher in the Rye,� adds Yarish. “The Bible,� nods Delzell. “I know that one already has its own show, but as a novel, that’s one funny book.�

G

reater Tuna

“Howlingly funny.� Variety

May 14 through

May 17 Spreckels Performing Arts Center 5409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park www.spreckelsonline.com

Box Office: 588-3400

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‘All The Great Books (Abridged)’ runs Thursday– Sunday through June 14. Thursday–Saturday at 8pm; Sunday at 2pm. The Sonoma County Repertory Theater, 104 N. Main St., Sebastopol. $18–$23; Thursday, pay-what-you-can. 707.823.0177.

THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

27

96A Seven-thirty on the dot, like he’s punching a time card. At first, even with a fourteen-piece orchestra, he’s nothing more than his own warm-up band, banging out a forgettable ramble on the keyboard.

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But pretty soon he’s segued into “It Stoned Me,� stoned me just like Jelly Roll, and an uptown “Moondance,� the horns miming in sleek, muted brass, a minimalist skyline.

10A3 The decades haven’t dimmed Van’s powerful mysticism.

Âź0bcaP[½ ATb_^]bT Morrison’s breathless Celtic poetry inspires an ode of its own

By Bart Schneider Van Morrison Reprises ‘Astral Weeks,’ Greek Theater, Berkeley Forty years ago, as a teen, I saw Miles Davis impersonate an ancient horn player here, aiming his trumpet into the night sky. Tonight, after the rain, I surprise myself by appearing under a floppy felt hat, not unlike Van’s— a baby boomer already boomed, with grown children and at least one life left behind. It’s strange to be co-opted by corporate America on the campus at Berkeley, but, sure enough, I flash my Visa Signature card for a free seat cushion. With cushion and Anchor Steam, I cruise the crowd. So many people, once raggedy-ass and roused at anti-war rallies, now affluent, carrying their cushions. Before I settle into my hundred-dollar cheap seat, Van’s onstage.

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05.13.09-05.19.09

THE BOHEMIAN

When he slows it down for “I Can’t Stop Loving You,� the country classic becomes aching soul music, and I can’t help thinking that every one in the place is musing on the one they can’t stop loving. Van was a pretty boy blond in a paisley shirt when he cut “Astral Weeks.� You marveled at his muscularity. Tonight, stout and leathery, obscure as ever, it’s the man’s tenderness that gets you. At intermission they’re out of Anchor Steam. I climb the muddy hillside to the top of the theater. The moon is out. The wind is still. Just the slightest flutter of eucalyptus leaves. Before I’m back on my cushion, the man opens up with “Astral Weeks.� The braided beauty of two acoustic guitars. If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dream . . . Even at twenty-three, Van could emote as naturally as breathing. To never never never never wonder why at all Never never never never wonder why . . . I’m standing beside you. As vocal dervish driven by the beats of language, it’s as literary as Yeats and Joyce, and Beckett. The sweet stuttering of the Irish echo: All you gotta do Is ring a bell Step right up, and step right up And step right up Just like a ballerina . . .

Novelist Bart Schneider was the founding editor of ‘Hungry Mind Review’ and ‘Speakeasy Magazine.’ His latest novel is ‘The Man in the Blizzard.’ Lit Life is a biweekly feature. You can contact Bart at litlife@bohemian.com.

369:

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Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna struggle to make it off the field in ‘Rudi y Cursi.’

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Two siblings get all money can buy in ‘Rudo y Cursi’ By Richard von Busack

4

ven with the severely glutted film market, I wish we got three times as many films from Mexico as actually arrive here. Rudo y Cursi will certainly do for now. It is produced by some of the most revered names in new Mexican cinema (Guillermo del Toro, Alfonso Cuaron and Alejandro Gonzalez Iùårritu) and directed by Cuaron’s brother, Carlos. The film reteams Diego Luna and the criminally handsome Gael Garcia Bernal of Alfonso Cuaron’s Y Tu MamĂĄ TambiĂŠn. Like TambiĂŠn, the action is narrated, but the difference is in the approach. The narrator in the former was detached, Godardian. In Rudo y Cursi, the narrator is Batuta, “Batonâ€? (Guillermo Francella), who is full of charming fatalistic proverbs about the relation between soccer and life. Baton is essentially a trickster figure, with dyed whiskers and a sports car. Like the devil, Baton looks for mischief where he can find it—and he finds it on a rural soccer field. Baton discovers Tato (Bernal) and Beto (Luna), who are apparently half-brothers, (some of the U.S. reviews are calling them brothers). The two are classic hijos de chingada, and their parentage is a little uncertain, though each boasts of the superior virtues of his long-gone father. It hardly matters, because their mutual mother’s latest boyfriend is a repulsive cop. The guys work on a banana plantation and are both about to run away to the United States. The talent scout Baton sees their promise on the field, but figures he can only take one of the pair. That one is Tato, who figures that futbol is just his day job until he can make a fortune as a cowboy-suited accordion player. In Mexico City, Tato rises to the top of the game, and he pressures Baton to sign Beto as a goalie. Beto is a success, ruling the goal

posts and shutting out team after team. Unfortunately, his poor sportsmanship gets him the nickname “Rudo.� For a time the two do well. Tato, now with his own nickname, “Cursi,� meaning “snotty,� gets involved with the wet-dream TV starlet Maya (Jessica Mas). Tato also lands H-2, a fine house and even a few gigs, where he repeatedly massacres Cheap Trick’s “I Want You to Want Me.� But Beto’s degenerate gambling and Tato’s hopeless love for the no-good Maya change both their luck for the worse. I’m not sure why the subtitles translate Baton’s words into cockney slang; this may have been to please the British market, due to the widely held belief that North Americans don’t care about soccer. (Or maybe it’s to make Baton sound more like Honest John Foulfellow in Pinocchio.) To be fair, this is an extremely idiom-heavy movie. Rudo y Cursi takes a merry tone to a story in which all roads lead to failure. Ultimately, the one true success is a local narco-thug with an army of bodyguards; he helps himself to the only peaceful spot in the film, a beautiful local beach and he’s a diabolus ex machina who brings in a sort of unhappy-happy ending. Yet it’s troubling to suspect that Rudo Y Cursi is really at heart a cautionary tale of two rural bumpkins who rise above their station. Because of that slight patronization, Rudo y Cursi is only almost really funny and only almost really tragic, though always thoroughly and elegantly moral: “Pity, nowadays, wars are mistaken for games and games are mistaken for wars.�

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K A YA K S R A FT S G E A R S A L ES R E N TA LS

‘Rudi y Cursi’ opens on Friday, May 15, at the Century Regency 6 (280 Smith Ranch Road, San Rafael; 415.479.5050 ), the Century CineArts at Sequoia (25 Throckmorton Ave., Mill Valley; 415.388.4862 ) and the Rialto Lakeside Cinemas (551 Summerfield Road, Santa Rosa. 707.525.4840).

THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

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event calender for 5/15 - 5/28

FOR NORTH BAY MOVIE TIMES, GO TO www.sonomamovietimes.com www.marinmovietimes.com www.napamovietimes.com

(707) 963-9779 www.cameocinema.com

feature films The Soloist (5/15-5/21)

Daily 5:30/8:15pm; 5/16, 5/17, 5/20: 2:30 matinee Sat 5/16, Sun 5/17 and Wed 5/13: no 8:15pm show.

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cameo art film series

Francis Coppola’s Tetro: May 20 - 8:15pm The Class: May 27 - 8:15pm

cameo fine arts

La Bohéme (Madrid Opera House) Premiere: May 16 - 11am Encore: May 24 - 11am

cameo fine arts Night of the Living Dead: May 23 - 11:00pm

cameo special event Operation: With Love From Home May 16 - 8:30 pm - Featuring Robert Herrera

“It Mixes Sentimentality With Playful, Jumpy Aggression And Dresses A Bittersweet, “Raw and Riveting!” – Rolling Stone Rags-To-Riches Fable In The Bright Clothes A MIGHTY HEART Of Pop Satire!” – New York Times (12:30) 2:45 5:00 7:20 9:45 R Gael Garcia Bernal Diego Luna

RUDO Y CURSI “A Triumph!” – New York Observer (12:30) 2:45 5:00 7:30 9:45 R

LA VIE EN ROSE

“A Gem...A Romantic Comedy OurPG-13 Time!” – ELLE (12:45) 3:45 6:45 For 9:45 Jennifer Aniston Woody Harrelson Steve Vahn

“䖟䖟䖟䖟 – Really, Truly, Deeply – MANAGEMENT One of This – Newsday (1:00) 3:10Year’s 5:10 Best!” 7:20 9:30 PG-13

ONCE “A Gem Of A Movie! It’s The Perfect Film 3:10 5:20 7:30 9:40Times R For(1:00) These Times!” – Los Angeles PARIS 36

(1:30)and 4:30 7:00 9:30 PG-13 “Wise, Humble Effortlessly Funny!” – Newsweek

WAITRESS Jamie Foxx Robert Downey Jr. (1:30) 4:00 7:10 9:30 R THE SOLOIST

(1:15) 4:00 7:10 9:40 PG-13 Romatic, Hilarious!” “The“Swoonly Marvelous Michael Mysterious, Caine Gives One of the Best – Slant Magazine Performances of His Career!” – Hollywood Life

JE T’AIME ISPARIS, ANYBODY THERE? (1:15) 4:15 R (12:40) 4:45 7:00 6:50 9:30 PG-13

There’s no substitute for experience.

Toni

D’Angelo

Please Note: No 6:50 Show on Thu!

Michael Moore’s SUNSHINE CLEANING

SICKO (2:45) 9:00 R Starts Fri, June 29th! Face to Face Advance Tickets OnFilm SaleSeries Now presents at Box Office! BETWEEN LOVE AND (12:00) 2:30 5:00 7:30GODBYE 10:00 Thu, May 22nd at 7:15 PM Venessa Redgrave Meryl Glenn Close THE MET OPERA: LA Streep CENERENTOLA ADDITIONAL ENCORE Sat, May 30 at 10 AM EVENING Call 800 595-4849 Starts Fri,Click Junerialtocinemas.com 29th!

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Come Home to Sonoma County Sonoma County Real Estate

707.535.8807 toni@tonirealtor.com

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Stop by in the month of

May

and we will pay your sales tax! (just mention this AD)

Hu

Sel

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ge

ion

David Peoples Residential Real Estate

707-486-5037

Toys

PeoplesHomes.net

Shoes

Accessories

Clothing

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I]Z Hdad^hi E<"&(0 &%* b^c# GdWZgi 9dlcZn ?g# hiVgh Vh _djgcVa^hi HiZkZ AdeZo ^c Y^gZXidg ?dZ Lg^\]iÉh 6idcZbZci cZl

Daily 5:30/8:15pm; 5/22 - 24, 5/27: 2:30 matinee Wed 5/27: no 8:15pm show.

Bargain Tuesday - $7.50 All Shows Bargain Tuesday - $7.00 All Shows Schedule for Fri, May 15th – Thu, May 21st Schedule for Fri, June 22nd - Thu, June 28th

Film capsules by Richard von Busack and Jeff Latta.

Wee Three Children’s Store “ exceptional children’s clothing and so much more.... ” 1007A W.College Avenue, Santa Rosa 707 525-9333 weethreechildrensstore.com

sizes preemie to pre-teen

THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

31

paid advertising section

Contemporary/Museum Framing Conceptual Art Gallery

707.473.9600 707.474.9600

6671 Front St/Hwy 116 Downtown Forestville 707-887-0799 11-6 Thurs–Mon (closed Tues & Weds)

www.hammerfriar.com

RIVERFRONT ART GALLERY

quicksilvermineco.com

/@B 4==2 ;CA71 AC;;3@

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132 PETALUMA BLVD. NORTH, DOWNTOWN PETALUMA

707-778-4ART(4278)

WWW.RIVERFRONTARTGALLERY.COM

Contemporary Japanese Prints 707.875.2922

1781 Hwy 1, Bodega Bay www.renbrown.com

features the one day makeover

Re

DESIGN D E C O R AT E ACCESSORIZE COLOR

Recession proof design for your home.

415.899.9798 design@khallindesign.com

Sebastopol Gallery 150 N. Main St. Sebastopol, CA 707.829.7200 Daily 11-6

sebastopol-gallery.com

unique art & quality custom framing

new owner new equipment new art 6984 McKinley Ave Sebastopol (beside Whole Foods)

7 0 7. 8 2 3 .19 7 1

32

05.13.09-05.19.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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Big Kiss

Knife in the Water

After years spent as the star attraction in the company of “Wild Thing� and “Angel of the Morning� songwriter Chip Taylor, it only seemed natural for the extremely talented wings of Carrie Rodriguez to take f light on a solo career with the release of her acclaimed 2006 album, Seven Angels on a Bicycle. Rodriguez is such a phenomenal fiddle player, mandolinist and singer that it’s easy to overlook any ho-humming over her recent album, She Ain’t Me; the songs, well-written but limply supported by inorganic production in the studio, should have no problem coming to full life onstage. Rodriguez has long been cast as a rising star in these pages, and anyone who caught her opening for Lucinda Williams’ latest tour is also laying their money down. Carrie Rodriguez in the late aughts is like Emmylou Harris in the late ’70s. Go see her if you know what’s good for you on Thursday, May 14, at the Last Day Saloon. 120 Fifth St., Santa Rosa. 8pm. $15. 707.545.2343.

There is no greater director-composer partnership in the history of cinema, with the possible exception of Fellini and Rota, than that of Alfred Hitchcock and Bernard Herrmann. Before their falling out over the score to Torn Curtain in 1966, and

Hitchcock’s ruthless dismissal of his coconspirator in suspense, Herrmann had written 10 years of iconic film music. Among his bestknown theme is Psycho, to be performed in a program titled “Shadows and Light�

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No Regrets New York City’s Prestige Records, while releasing early albums by John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Sonny Rollins and other jazz pioneers, walked through the damp concrete of Washington Square Park one day and picked up a few straggling folksingers along the way. Among the best and most notorious was raconteur Dave Van Ronk, but Prestige found an unknown gem in Tom Rush. Lasting on Prestige about as long as Ronk, Rush jumped to folk haven Elektra Records in time to release his best record, The Circle Game, featuring songs by Joni Mitchell and James Taylor that came to new life through Rush’s soothing tenor. From that point, Rush became an interpreter of modern songwriters rather than a revivalist looking back, and always makes sure to throw in a few originals for authenticity. He performs songs from his first album in 30 years, What I Know, on Friday, May 15, at the Napa Valley Opera House. 1030 Main St., Napa. 8pm. $35. 707.226.7372.

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Mastered the Art If the windows at the Hopmonk Tavern are still intact from the massive bass rumble of Bassnectar’s set last week, then the Milgard glass will be grateful for the milder but no less danceable beats purveyed by Andreas Stevens, aka DJ Greyboy, at this week’s Juke Joint. By now a fixture on the West Coast funk and soul scene, Greyboy’s released six albums on the San Francisco Ubiquity label under his own name and four with his live-band offshoot, the Greyboy All Stars. With his breakthrough album, Freestylin’, in 1994, Greyboy was also one of the first crate-digging DJs in the fading days of acid jazz. He’s continued to stay relevant through many different eras since—scratch turntablism, the funk 45 phenomenon, the Kraftwerk revival, the electro-disco 12-inch craze—mostly by sticking to the basic notion that records are made to dance to. He appears with Brooklyn’s retrofunk party band the Pimps of Joytime on Thursday, May 14, at the Hopmonk Tavern. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. 9pm. $10. 707.829.7300.

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this weekend by the New Century Chamber Orchestra. In a program exploring the fears and fevers of the night, including Borodin’s Nocturne, Strauss’ Die Fledermaus and Mozart’s “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik,� director and violinist Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg premieres Clarice Assad’s new commissioned work Dreamscape. Get lost in the stars on Sunday, May 17, at Osher Marin Jewish Community Center. 200 N. San Pedro Road, San Rafael. 5pm. $32–$54. 707.357.1111.

THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

33

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Introducing

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Premium Wines & Cigars – Specialty Drinks Great Micro Brew Selection – Dress to Impress

Freestone Fermentation Festival

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;8CC;4 74;? 5A>< 78B 5A84=3B Benefit for local blues legend Ron Thompson

ince there are no gigs that include medical coverage, musicians must do it for one another. Ron Thompson, one of Northern California’s top blues guitarists for the past 30 years, is recuperating from a life-threatening ordeal with pneumonia in February. Speaking by phone from his Hayward home, he assures that he’s “doin’ all right,â€? and performing on a limited basis. The only problem is the stack of medical bills on his desk. To help him get back on his feet, the Last Day Saloon this weekend hosts “Musicians Rally for Ron Thompsonâ€? with a dream lineup of local blues performers: Volker Strier, Michael Barclay, Levi Lloyd, Bill Noteman and the Rockets, Joel Rudinow, Sly and Derek from the Aces, the Blues Burners, the Blues Defenders and Brother Cat. Thompson, born in Oakland in 1953 and pictured above with Bobby Bland, has played every dusty dive, back-alley bar and county fair between Fresno and San Francisco. He began his career playing in a North Richmond club at age 18, where he gained the notice of and was hired by Little Joe Blue. During the mid-’70s, Thompson became John Lee Hooker’s bandleader and made records with Big Mama Thornton. (“I might be able to ďŹ nd them if I searched for about three days,â€? he says.) In Chicago, he met Eddie Taylor, Jimmy Reed’s guitarist. “Taylor liked my amp, I got to know him, that’s how I hooked up with Reed.â€? The next decade found him joining close friend Mick Fleetwood’s band, Blue Whale, and starting his own group, Ron Thompson and the Resistors, whose album Resistor Twister garnered a 1986 Grammy nomination. Recently, Thompson has been getting even more recognition. Mayor Gavin Newsom declared Sept. 5, 2007 Ron Thompson Day in San Francisco. Several other cities, including San Jose, followed suit. The National Heritage Foundation Blues Hall of Fame inducted him in 2008. Thompson also plays a mean piano and mandolin, “depending on the kind of song I’m doin’,â€? he says, “but slide guitar is what I really like. Elmore James got me really goin’.â€? He hopes to be well enough to come to Santa Rosa for the show. “I still get really tired, but I want to be there,â€? he says. “Music is what I do for a living. I’m blessed to be able to make money playing music.â€? Musicians Rally for Ron Thompson on Sunday, May 17, at the Last Day Saloon, 120 Fifth St., Santa Rosa. 2pm. $10. 707.545.2343. Robert Feuer

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THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

35

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WWW.HEALDSBURGJAZZFESTIVAL.ORG O R B Y P H O N E AT

1-800-838-3006 WA L K - I N T I C K E T S A L E S

Levin & Company 306 Center Street, Healdsburg (Cash or Credit Card) Last Record Store 1899 Mendocino Ave, Santa Rosa (Cash and Checks) Tickets are on sale at the venues on the day of the event, subject to availability. MAJOR SPONSORS

Murphy-Goode Santa Rosa Systems OFFICIAL SPONSORS

Hotel Healdsburg Rodney Strong Vineyards BUSINESS SPONSORS Bohemian Gallo Family Vineyards Graphite Studio Healdsburg Tribune Healdsburg|Sotheby’s Horizon Air KCSM Jazz 91.1 KPFA Radio 94.1 KRCB Radio 91 Healdsburg Lodging Coalition North Coast Brewing Company TA S T I N G R O O M S P O N S O R S

Artiste Winery

Bottle Barn/Wine Annex Topel Winery

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36

05.13.09-05.19.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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3A0BC82 5>A64AH 38B0BC4AB ‘When you start going the route the way the fake Dead Kennedys have,’ Jello Biafra says, ‘you’re also sort of admitting, “I give up as an artist. . . . We’ll be our own cover band, our own tribute band, and laugh all the way to the bank.�’

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Former frontman eviscerates the ‘fake’ Dead Kennedys By Gabe Meline

8

n 1989, a 13-year-old kid approached Jello Biafra, the singer of Dead Kennedys, at the River Theatre in Guerneville. It was dark inside the show, but the young fan recognized his idol through a sea of purple Mohawks and leather jackets, his mind racing to all the hours he’d spent listening to Dead Kennedys cassettes on his Walkman, all the lyrics he’d pored over and memorized. “Excuse me, Mr. Biafra,� he meekly opened, “but I’d just like to say that I love your music, and, uh, the Dead Kennedys had a real huge impact on me . . .� “Yeah, yeah,� Biafra snorted. “Blah blah blah! Buy a record! Buy a T-shirt!� The kid was crushed. How could it be that this man who’d written some of the most scathing indictments of capitalism, who’d made fun of money-grubbing new wave bands, who’d assembled brilliantly offkilter album booklet collages and who’d taken the entire American ideal of consumerism to task as the heart and soul of one of the most important punk bands in the world—how could he so denigrate a genuine expression of admiration by telling the kid to buy some crap? It wasn’t until a decade later that the resentment among the broken-up Dead Kennedys was unveiled not only to that kid—yeah, it was me—but to the world at large in an ugly series of legal action and allegations between Biafra and East Bay Ray, D. H. Peligro and Klaus Flouride, the other three ex-members of the band. Biafra had been holding out on royalties, the exmembers charged. He hadn’t advertised the albums enough in major music magazines. He hadn’t allowed lucrative licensing of Dead Kennedys’ music. He had mismanaged the

band’s catalogue, they said. Most absurdly, they wanted to tour as “Dead Kennedys� with a different singer. The three ex-members eventually won their six-year lawsuit, in 2004, with Dexter Holland from the Offspring and Howie Klein from Warner Brothers as “expert witnesses.� I read the newspaper article, complete with photos of the band in three-piece suits, and a little piece of idealism inside of me was crushed all over again. I felt bad for Jello Biafra.

8

recently called Biafra to dispel widespread rumors that he’d be singing with Dead Kennedys when the band, with current stand-in vocalist Skip Greer, appears at the Harmony Festival in Santa Rosa on June 12. He fields similar calls virtually every time the band plays without him, and by now rumors of his singing for the band are as constant as the chances of it ever happening are impossible. “It’s the great heartbreak of my life,� Biafra says by phone from his San Francisco house, reflecting on his relationship with his former band mates. “To have something that obviously means way more to me than it does to them, just to be dumbed-down and marred like this. It’s like spray-painting a McDonald’s logo on the Mona Lisa or something.� Most poignant is the knowledge of how much a real Dead Kennedys reunion would mean to fans. “One band that reformed that I swore I’d never go see but did was the Stooges,� he says. “And I had a great time! It was really good, powerful stuff. It wasn’t lost on me how much that show meant to everybody, and what a real Dead Kennedys show, even at a place like the Warfield, would mean to people.� Biafra says he’s willing to do it—with conditions. The other three members

would have to return the album rights to Alternative Tentacles, Biafra’s label, for starters. They’d have to fire their management and booking agent, and they’d have to stop licensing songs for commercial purposes. “And,â€? he adds, “Ray would be required to regrow the mullet he insisted on having on our last tour in 1985. No mullet, no reunion! “It would have to be, in other words, not just the same guys, but the real spirit of the band,â€? Biafra continues, “where we rehearse until we sound as good as we ever did and work our butts off onstage and mean what the lyrics are saying! That’s why they sued me in the first place, because I stuck to the principles of the band. I didn’t want to be in a Levi’s commercial, let alone wake up several years later and find out that a cover version of a song I wrote was used as the background music to a brutal rape scene in one of the Grindhouse movies. “That’s how low things have gone with them. I mean, they may claim they’re progressives, but in my opinion they think and behave like Republicans—‘Money Ăźber alles, and it doesn’t matter who gets hurt as long as there’s more cash for me.’ That whole attitude is exactly what the real Dead Kennedys always stood against.â€? Biafra, who’s currently finishing a new album with members of Faith No More and Victims Family at Prairie Sun in Cotati, has kept busy with spoken-word and music projects since his most famous band split up; he’s never thought about forming a new backing band and performing Dead Kennedys songs. (“I don’t want to stoop to that,â€? he says. “They may be putrid human beings, but I would not be comfortable calling a band Dead Kennedys unless Ray and Klaus and Peligro were in it.â€?) And yet through the band’s new partnership agreement, Biafra says he actually helps pay for the Dead Kennedys’ concerts with the “scabâ€? singer while receiving no portion of the proceeds. The albums, some re-released without their iconic booklets by artist Winston Smith, are another thorn. “Instead of disappearing into eBay collectordom, where nobody could find the material, I paid out of my own pocket to keep all Dead Kennedys albums in print for two decades, and made sure everything was paid in full and on time to keep them fed,â€? Biafra says. “Yes, there was an accounting error on our part eventually. When we found—not they—when we found the cause of it, we paid them in full, and then they sued, charging conspiracy. “Another thing that galls me is the way they were able to bamboozle the jury into awarding them tens of thousands of dollars in damages for ‘lack of promotion,’ just because they weren’t regularly advertised in Rolling Stone, Spin and Billboard, or in regular rotation on MTV—for 15 straight years after the band broke up! Even though by then, they were claiming they wrote ‘MTV Get Off the Air,’ as well!â€? Biafra reiterates that he won’t be singing with the band in Santa Rosa, instead busying himself with “trying to protect the long-term value and integrity of Dead Kennedys’ music and vision,â€? he sighs. “The brains and heart and soul of the operation has to speak up, no matter how often I get threatened by their legal people.â€? Dead Kennedys, without Jello Biafra, appear June 12 at the Harmony Festival in Santa Rosa.

Dinner and a Show

Take a scenic drive for a unique dining experience

Reservations advised “A Historic West Marin Landmark�

EST. 1941

20 min from downtown Petaluma, 25 min from everywhere else!

Thank you for making us your top vote!

Best Place to Dance Marin County

Petty Theft

Fri

May 15 The Best Petty Tribute and More! 8:30pm / $12

The Unauthorized

Sat

May 16

Rolling Stones 8:30pm / $15

The Carlene Carter

Fri

May 22 Band

Country Legend 8:30pm / $18 / $20

The Rancho Allstars

Fri

May 29 Featuring Takezo 8:30pm / $12

Tom Rigney

Sat

May 30 & Flambeau 8:30pm / $12

Mike Lipskin & May 31 Dinah Lee Sun

Luscious Vocals, Mischievous Piano 5pm / In the Bar

Big Sandy

Fri

Jun 5

& His Fly-Rite Boys An Evening with

Sun

Jun 7

Will Durst

2009 BBQ’s On the Lawn! Gates Open at 3pm, Music at 4pm

The Avett Brothers

Sat

May 17 are back!

Special Pre-Season BBQ / $25

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND Sun

May 24

The Blues Broads

Mon

The Flatlanders

$20

May 25 and Colin Gilmore $32 / $35 Sun

Jun 21

Father’s Day BBQ

Pablo Cruise $32 / $35

4TH OF JULY WEEKEND Sat

July 4

The Zydeco Flames

Sun

The Sun Kings

July 5

$15 / Children under 10/$5 $15

www.ranchonicasio.com

On the Town Square • Nicasio

415.662.2219

Take D St to Pt. Reyes–Petaluma Road Left on Nicasio Valley Road

THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

37

0.92;1.? Event Details, Venues & Tickets

MONDAYS ! DEREK SMITH’S OPEN MIC TUESDAYS ! DANNY UZILEVSKY

numinacenter.org

THUR ! MAY 14 ! 9:30PM

SCARECROW

MAY 20 Stories Seldom Told

FRI ! MAY 15 ! 9:30PM ! $20/$25

Presented by The Living Room and Front Porch Spirit Productions

I WAYNE W/RELIC SECURE LUV FYAH & DJ REBS

MAY 22 Taize Caritas

SAT ! MAY 16 ! 9:30PM ! $15/$18

STU ALLEN & FRIENDS NEXT WEEK

Taize Chant & Healing

JUNE 28 & AUGUST 23 Chamber Music with the Locals:

THURS ! MAY 21 ! 9:30PM

An Artful Afternoon

BODYROCK

Carol Menke, soprano s Norma Brown, piano Kathleen Reynolds, flute s Roy Zajac, clarinet Jennifer Sills, viola s Artist TBA (6/28) Laura McLellan, cello s Boris Ilyin, artist (8/23)

FRI ! MAY 22 ! 9:30PM ! $15

PRIDE & JOY

SAT ! MAY 23 ! 9:30PM ! $8

MONDAY EVENINGS Through the Ear to the Heart

CALMODEE HOT ACTS COMING SOON REGGAE ANGELS..................................FRI MAY 29 KORTY & FRIENDS W/PEAK SEASON ....SAT MAY 30 JOHNNY VEGAS & THE HIGH ROLLERS .SAT JUNE 6 VINYL ............................................FRI JUNE 26 ALBINO!.........................................SAT JUNE 27

Sing the Music of Hildegard von Bingen as Contemplative Practice See Schedule on Web Site

Numina Center at the Episcopal Church of the Incarnation 550 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa

707.324.6021

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Weigh in 3:30, Meeting 4:00

Weigh in 9:30, Meeting 10:00

12:00–1:00pm Zumba with Patricia 7:15pm AFRICAN AND WORLD MUSIC DANCE with Victoria Strowbridge

Santa Rosa’s Social Hall since 1922 1400 W. College Avenue • Santa Rosa, CA 707.539.5507 • www.monroe-hall.com THE BOHEMIAN

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7:00–10:00pm Scottish Country Dancing Tues, May 19 8:45-9:45am & 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 9:30am WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING

05.13.09-05.19.09

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Wed, May 13 8:45-9:45am & 5:45-6:45 Jazzercise 10:00-12:15pmScottish Dance Youth and Family 7:00-10:00pmSingles & Pairs Square Dance Club Thur, May 14 8:45-9:45am & 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise 10:30–11:30am Zumba with Patricia 7:25-10:30pm Circles & Squares Square Dance Club Fri, May 15 8:45-9:45am Jazzercise 10:15-11:15am Intro to ZUMBA with Anna 8:00pm North Bay Country Dance Society / Contra Dance Sat, May 16 8:00-9:00am & 9:15-10:15pm Jazzercise 1:00–5:00pm Train Club 7:15pm DJ Steve Luther presents AN EVENING OF MOTOWN, DISCO & ROCK ‘N ROLL $10 Sun, May 17 8:30-9:30am Jazzercise 10:15–11:15pm Zumba with Anna 5:00–9:30pm DJ Steve Luther Country-Western Lessons & Dancing $10 Mon, May 18 8:45-9:45am & 5:45-6:45pm Jazzercise WEIGHTWATCHERS MEETING 3:30pm

38

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70F6 The ‘Art in Iron’ two-day motorcycle exhibit is part of the Sebastopol Center for the Arts’ annual gala. See Events, adjacent.

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...where ... where SUMMER

STARTS! TS!!

Want a peak? Preview it all at

www.sonoma-marinfair.org

June 24-28 Petaluma Fairgroundss

boho-mini ad.indd 1

THE BOHEMIAN

3/30/09 10:03:07 PM

05.13.09-05.19.09

39

A Night of Opera Favorites

May 15

Join soprano Jamie Thomas and mezzo-soprano Amalia Dobbins in a program of opera’s most beloved arias and duets.

wd o h s Pre

is c

at n o i s us

7pm

Carston Cabaret • $15 General Admission For tickets call 707.546.3600 (noon-6pm Tue-Sat) Online wellsfargocenterarts.org Highway 101 to River Road, Santa Rosa • Your Community Non-Profit Arts Center for 27 years

40

05.13.09-05.19.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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the best place for live music, dancing and dining

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SAT 5/16 • 7:00PM DOORS • $15 • 21+ RUSSIAN ROCK

IGOR AND

THE RED ELVISES

5/16 8:00 PM SHOW > $5 > ROCK

SUN 5/17 • 7:00PM DOORS • $20 • 21+ NEW ORLEANS ROCK

SFARZO ALL STAR PARTY BASH WITH OVER 30 MUSICIANS

COWBOY MOUTH

5/17 2:00 PM SHOW > $10 > BLUES ROCK

PLUS DUSTY RHODES

MUSICIANS RALLY FOR RON THOMPSON

AND THE RIVER BAND SAT 5/23 • 7:00PM DOORS • $12ADV/$15DOS • 21+ BOB DYLAN MUSIC

Sky & Derek (of The Aces) + Michael Barclay + Blues Burners + Blues Defenders + Brother Cat + Levi Lloyd + Bill Noteman & The Rockets + Dr. Joel Rudinow + Volker Strifler Band + guests

“FOREVER YOUNG�

THE 3RD ANNUAL BOB DYLAN BIRTHDAY TRIBUTE HOSTED BY CROOKED ROADS FRI 5/29 • 8:00PM DOORS • $20 • 21+ CELTIC GRATEFUL DEAD JAM BAND

5/19 8:00 PM SHOW > $3 > PUNK > ALL AGES Total Bros + BVP + Low-five + Nucular Aminals 5/21 8:30 PM SHOW > $6/8 > ROCK

WAKE THE DEAD PLUS ELDER’S

SAT 5/30 • 8:00PM DOORS • $15 • 21+ ALL FEMALE AC/DC TRIBUTE

HEDGEHOG PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

AC/DSHE

BITING THE DOG

PLUS JEKYL

+ ASTROSLIDE + VOODOO SAINTS 5/22 7:30 PM SHOW > $7/10 > IMPROV

FRI 6/5 • 7:00PM DOORS • $15 • 21+ BEATLES & ROLLING STONES TRIBUTE BAND

THE SUN KINGS & UNAUTHORIZED ROLLING STONES

WORLD'S BIGGEST COMEDY DUO

RED

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SUN 6/14 • 7:00PM DOORS • $25 • 21+ AMERICANA

RAUL MALO

AND HIS

+ SINCE OCTOBER + FACING BINARY

DAN HICKS & THE HOT LICKS

5/27 8:00 PM SHOW > $10/13 > BLUES FOLK

PLUS SOLID AIR SAT 6/19 • 7:00PM DOORS • $15 • 21+

SUMMER SOLSTICE CABARET

all shows are 21+ unless noted

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BAND

THUR 6/18 • 7:00PM DOORS • $22ADV/$25DOS • 21+ JAZZ/FOLK/SWING

EILEN JEWELL

For Kids

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PLUS HILLSTOMP & MONTANA SLIM STRING BAND

+ DJ ON-QUE

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THE DEVIL MAKES THREE

TAINTED LOVE

+ Robert Herrara + Will-Power aka Trance Romance 5/24 2:00 PM SHOW > $5/8 > REGGAE PUNK BELLYFULL + JUNGLE UNDER KINGS + WITHOUT A THOT + FALDERAL ALL AGES 5/26 8:30 PM SHOW > $12/15 > ROCK

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FRI 5/15 • 8:00PM DOORS • $15 • 21+ COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS

CARRIE RODRIGUEZ

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Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner BBQ • Pasta • Steak

5/14 8:00 PM SHOW > $15 > ALT FOLK

5/15 9:00 PM SHOW > $15 > 80'S DANCE

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Mc Near’s Dining House

UNI & HER UKELELE

+ ROMANTICA

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DON’T FORGET‌WE SERVE FOOD TOO!

5/13 8:00 PM SHOW > $5 > POP ROCK ALL AGES

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the last day saloon

WITH

get reserved show seating with advance dinner reservations

VAGABOND OPERA

PLUS MAD MAGGIES &

AMBER LEE AND THE ANOMALIES

for reservations: 707.545.5876

For All Ages Shows • No Children Under 6 Allowed

707.545.2343

23 Petaluma Blvd, Petaluma

120 5th street @ davis street santa rosa, ca

707-765-2121

lastdaysaloon.com

www.mcnears.com

THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

41

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)&

Best New Restaurant

Thursday Night Film Nights 9pm Movie $15 Prefix Menu of rotating Apps and an Entree

$20 Bottles 4 Classic Films Undeniably Fun!

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7Vn 6gZV 9^hXdkZgn BjhZjb May 14th Romancing the Stone May 21st Harold and Maude May 28th Say Anything greens • handmade pasta • thin crust Italian pizza • organic & biodynamic wines

707.829.1077 7385 Healdsburg Ave, Suite 101 Sebastopol, CA Mon–Fri 7am-9pm, Fri & Sat till 10pm Sat & Sun: brunch 10am-2:30pm, dinner 5-9pm www.peterlowells.com

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allan alla an pollack, pollack artistic director director & conductor conducto or

Imaginative, electrifying, fearless improviser impr oviser Joshua Redman, one of the top saxophonists in the world, performs July 24

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tickets tick kets & information: 707.937.4041 7077. 9 377.404 . 1

www.mendocinomusic.com ww w w . me ndo ci no mus i c. com ww.mendocinomusic.com ww

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music m mus ussi sic fest ffestival fe fes est stti tiv iva val al 23RD SEASON

| opera | orchestra | chamber | jazz | world | pop |

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42

05.13.09-05.19.09

THE BOHEMIAN

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Ross Valley Playhouse actor Eric Burke studies the master rthur Miller,â€? remarks actor Eric Burke, “will always last as long as you have actors up to the task of playing the characters he’s created.â€? Burke, for the record, is more than up to the task, having won accolades for his performances in last year’s production of Miller’s Death of a Salesman at the Sixth Street Playhouse. He is already generating advance buzz for his work in Miller’s A View from the Bridge, which opens this weekend at the Ross Valley Playhouse in Marin. As an actor, Burke has made a name for himself with raw, full-throttle performances in such Ăźber-gritty dramas as Glengarry Glen Ross and True West. In Bridge, Miller’s 1950 look at the lives of a close-knit Italian family, Burke plays Eddie Carbone, an honest, blue-collar dock worker who’s become a little too protective of his attractive teenage niece. True to Miller’s under-theskin approach, Eddie’s self-delusions ultimately lead to tragedy. According to Burke, Eddie Carbone has been one of the biggest challenges of his career. “By saying it’s a challenge, I’m saying that as a very good thing,â€? he says. “One of my rules when playing a character is to never judge them; I can’t and still be able to see the soul of the character. Eddie, to me, is a very passionate man who truly believes that what he’s doing is right.â€? Recognizing that some audiences view Miller as a “difficultâ€? playwright who wrote depressing plays, Burke says he’s found the opposite to be true. “These stories really are the true slices of Americana,â€? he says. “These people who populate the landscape of his plays are very accessible and familiar. We all know a Willy Loman, from Death of a Salesman. We all know an Eddie Carbone, We all know something about the decay and corruption of American business. We all know something about illegal immigration. We all know something about desire and lies and heartbreak. These are the stories of American reality, and when we see one of Miller’s plays, we walk away with these characters sticking to us like glue, because they are us.â€? A View from the Bridge runs Friday–Sunday, May 15– June 2, at the Ross Valley Playhouse. Friday–Saturday at 8pm; Sunday at 2pm. Special Thursday performances May 28, June 4, 11 and 18 at 7:30pm. Barn Theatre, Marin Art and Garden Center, 30 Sir Francis Drake Blvd., Ross. $15–$25. 415.456.9555.

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June 24 to 28

Free Concerts Free Carnival Rides Free Exhibits, Shows, Attractions Five Days of Fun all included in low admission price $15 Adults (13 & up) $10 Juniors (4 to 12) • $8 Seniors (65 & over) Want a peek? Preview it all at

www.sonoma-marinfair.org

Josh Gracin • Night Ranger The Charlie Daniels Band • Bret Michaels

WORLD’S UGLIEST DOG CONTEST WITH ANIMAL PLANET EQUINE EXTRAVAGANZA • DESTRUCTION DERBY (ADD $5) Sea Lion Encounter • Wine Tasting • Backyard Habitats & Farming Farm to Table Showcase • Seniors’ Social Club • Chef Demos Teen Edge Concert & Fashion Show • Petting Zoo • Wild Science Fiesta Latina • Livestock Walk • plus much more!

707-283-FAIR (3247)

David Templeton

THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

43

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THE BOHEMIAN

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Freestone Fermentation Fest celebrates that which inexorably grows he first annual Fermentation Fest will miss two delightfully fermented foods—beer and wine—and you can only blame it on the kids. Due to a double-booking situation, the festival, which celebrates all that bubbles up with life—including kombucha, cheese, bread, sauerkraut, tempeh, enzyme baths and community spirit—will be held not on winery grounds as originally planned but on school grounds, where beer and wine have made bad names for themselves. They must stay with the cigarettes, strictly off school property. But that doesn’t mean that fun won’t be had. After all, kids are often able to enjoy themselves entirely sober. And so it will be when vintner Lou Preston exhorts visitors to don plastic baggies to stomp cabbage for homemade sauerkraut, when our own Calendar Queen Kate Polacci divulges the secrets, ugh, of kombucha and when peak oil messiah Richard Heinberg reminds those gathered that a committed community gains its own mass, no macroscopic solids needed. Music, bread-making demos and all manner of other fun, guaranteed. The Freestone Fermentation Fest boils over on Saturday, May 16, fom noon to 8pm at the new LEED-certified Salmon Creek School, 1935 Bohemian Hwy., Occidental. $5–$10. www.freestonefermentationfestival.com.

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A BIG HEART Caring, loving SF, 39, enjoys movies, the outdoors, travel. Looking for SW/ HM, 39-50, for friendship, maybe more. 305007

SOLO IN SANTA ROSA Still looking for lips of wine. SWF, 60, likes working out, open mic night, social life, some sports. Looking for a male friend. 152766

WAITING ARMS Caring, educated, honest, optimistic, hard-working SF, 30s, enjoys travel, dining out, long drives, the beach, reading, walks, hiking, music and more. Would like to meet like-minded man, 30-40, for LTR. 313123

YOU FOUND ME! Friendly, classy female, 50ish, very compassionate and caring, seeks a nice gentleman, 50-69, for long drives, dining out, traveling, fun times, leading to possible LTR. 283752

HEY NATURE LOVER Single white Christian female, likes many outdoor activities and adventures, varied interests. Loyal, humorous, financially and emotionally balanced, seeks companion who is similar, works days like I do, is off on weekends. 283785

YOU FOUND ME! SF, 40ish, bright, hard-working, kind, enjoys reading, long drives, coffee shops, traveling. ISO nice gentleman, 30-49, for dating and maybe more. 297165

TAKE A CHANCE ON ME Ambitious woman, 40s, very caring and pleasant personality, likes music, camping, biking, outdoor activities, reading. Seeking similar gentleman, 40s, for friendship and more. 297166

SINCERE NATURE LOVER... enjoys hiking, biking, travel, kayaking, ice skating, horseback riding, camping, fishing, new adventures. Hoping to meet someone who is active, humorous, affectionate, looking for a long term relationship, close to my age. Prefer nonretired, non-smoker. 283716

I’M THE ONE FOR YOU! Goal-oriented woman, 40s, enjoys exercise, outdoors, traveling, shopping. ISO similar gentleman, 30-49, for dating, friendship and more. 297184

LET’S TALK! SF, 50ish, caring, honest, creative, good values, likes music, dancing, walks, the beach, dining out. Seeking nice gentleman, 56-64, for possible LTR. 297154

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN! Very kind, feminine lady, 50s, healthy, hard-working, likes dining out, traveling, exercise. Seeking nice gentleman, in his 50s, to share friendship and LTR. 297187

SWEEP ME OFF MY FEET! SF, 50ish, sincere, kind personality, adaptable, likes music, hiking, outdoors, dancing. Seeking nice gentleman, for friendship first and maybe more. 297158

HEY THERE! Caring woman, 50s, bright, artistic, classy, enjoys music, shopping, traveling, television. ISO nice, similar guy for casual dating, possible LTR. 297160

HELLO THERE! Feminine woman, healthy, compassionate, artistic, likes dancing, walks, reading, traveling. Seeking similar man, 50-69, for LTR. 297161

CHANCES ARE SF, 50s, RN, healthy, good values, hardworking, likes outdoors, traveling, reading, dining out, biking. Seeking honest gentleman, 55-75, for friendship and more. 297193

SEARCH NO FURTHER Sweet single lady, 50s, feminine, sophisticated, optimistic, hard-working, enjoys shopping, tv programs, movies, traveling, reading, quiet nights at home. ISO similar man, 50-59, for serious LTR. 297196

TERRIFIC INSIDE AND OUT Goal-oriented single female, 50s, health-minded, intelligent, enjoys camping, outdoor fun, exercise, eating out. desires to meet a wonderful guy, 50-59, for LTR. 297223

LIKE PBS? Personable, caring, goal-oriented friendly, artistic, compassionate woman, with good values, likes coffee shops, music, reading, walks, travel, dancing, dining out and more. Looking for honest, respectful man, 50-70, for LTR. 313143

TAKE A CHANCE ON ME Motivated, outdoorsy, honest, healthconscious woman, with good values and optimistic attitude, likes most kinds of music, dining out, walks, camping, travel and relaxing time at home. Seeking a nice, honest, active man, 30-40, with similar interests, to spend time with, possible leading to LTR. 313124

MANY FINE QUALITIES Caring, outdoorsy, honest, artistic, hard-working SF, early 50s, optimistic homebody with good values, has many interests including music, dining out, museums, travel, long drives, reading, walks, camping, biking and more. Looking for an honest, down-to-earth SM, 50-70, for friendship and dating first, possibly leading to something more serious. 313126

WOMAN WITH GOOD VALUES Friendly, caring, honest, compassionate, classy lady, 20s, wants to meet a man in his 20s for camping, shopping, travel, dining, long drives and walks, and more! Friendship possibly leading to more. 299374

LET’S MEET FOR DINNER Caring, honest, flexible, compassionate woman, 60s, loves dancing, travel, reading, dining out. Seeking similar man, 60s, for LTR. 301189

LOOKING FOR LTR Friendly, feminine, nurturing, captivating, bright, personable woman in her 50s who enjoys night clubs, television, dining, dancing, surfing, music, seeks similar male, 40-60, for LTR. 301191

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CAPTIVATING! Adorable, hard-working, classy female, 50s, enjoys museums, shopping, travel, coffee shops, the beach. Seeking SM, 50s, for friendship, casual relationship, or LTR. 309776

A CARING HEART Outdoorsy, flexible, nurturing, feminine woman, 50s, likes camping, long drives, travel, coffee shops, taking walks. Seeking male, 40-59, for LTR. 309777

GOOD VALUES Caring, personable, compassionate, classy, hard-working female, 50s, likes music, dancing, travel, reading, museums, dining, the beach. Seeking SM, 50s, for friendship, possibly more. 309780

Men Seeking Women

HONESTY A MUST Hard-working, honest, optimistic, nurturing, flexible, motivated SF, 50s, likes biking, the beach, travel, dancing, hiking, reading, music, seeks similar man, 50s, who is ready for LTR. 301198

VARIED INTERESTS Nice-looking, active male, 65, enjoys travel, politics, sports, music, theater, entertaining, cooking. Would like to spend time and share interests with independent, financially secure, attractive, fit female, 45-60. 238785

CAPTIVATING Sophisticated, outdoorsy, friendly, mischievous SF, 50s, likes hiking, kayaking, taking walks. In search of SM, 50-70, for LTR. 301203

SEEKING AN OPEN MIND SBM, 33, 250lbs, smoker, enjoys cars, long walks, working out. Looking for SF, 20-65, kids ok, for possible relationship. 304990

GOOD VALUES Shy, friendly, caring, compassionate SF, 60s, nurturing, motivated, enjoys walks, the beach, coffee shops, biking, dining, seeks similar man, 60+, for friendship leading to LTR. 301544

LET’S HAVE SOME FUN SWM, 46, enjoys traveling, wine tastings, romantic dinners, movies, playing sports, staying active. Seeking SF, 3544, for possible LTR. 292612 @ dodgeman911

PERSONABLE Compassionate, bright, friendly female, 40s, likes music, dancing, dining, biking, coffee shops. Seeking similar male, 50s, for LTR. 302304

FRIENDSHIP FIRST WM, 38, professional, would like to meet a fun WF, 25-60, who can enjoy themselves. 276178

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LOOKING FOR LTR Outdoorsy, health-minded, clean-cut, honest woman in her 30s, who enjoys biking, dining, shopping, the beach, hiking, taking walks, wants to meet a male in his 30s for LTR. 309772

OUTDOORSY Bright, compassionate, honest, friendly, adaptable woman, 50s, seeks SM, 40-60, who enjoys dining, dancing, beaches, taking walks, for casual dating or LTR. 301192

SEEKING LTR Honest, compassionate, artistic, friendly, goal-oriented, caring SF, 50s, healthminded with good values, into music, the beach, dancing, tv, travel, museums, walks, reading and more. Would like to meet SM, around the same age, for companionship. 313139

OPTIMISTIC Friendly, ambitious, adaptable, outdoorsy, personable female, 50s, enjoys museums, dining, travel, coffee shops, the beach, taking walks. Seeking SM, 60s, for friendship and casual dating. 299370

SHY AND ARTISTIC Single female in her 50s looking for a male who enjoys music, television. Let’s meet and see if we connect! 308997

LET’S SPRING TOGETHER SWM, 61, 5’6�, 130lbs, N/S, enjoys movies, reading, concerts, dancing. Seeking SF, 40-60, intelligent, great SOH, healthy, pretty, who likes the arts, for friendship first, maybe more. 118761

FRIENDS OR MORE Nurturing, artistic, bright, hard-working, compassionate, feminine female in her 50s, enjoys music, dancing, travel, the beach, kayaking, dining, taking walks. Seeking male, 50-69, for friendship with the possibility of more. 309768

IN EXCELLENT SHAPE Widowed WM, 76, 5’11�, N/S, very athletic, likes walks, horseback riding, swimming, cooking, more. Looking for SWF, 55-65, for companionship, walks in nature, intellectual pursuits, reading, gardening and more. 278284

ONE HONEST WOMAN LEFT Bright SF, 60s, with good values, flexible and honest, likes reading, camping, travel, taking walks. Seeking similar male, 50-69, for friendship, casual relationship, possible LTR. 309769

VERY PERSONABLE Motivated, bright, artistic, hard-working, health-conscious female, 50s, personable and flexible, seeks male, age open, who likes museums, travel, long drives, camping, hiking. 309770

WANNA TALK? SWM, 35, light smoker, looking for a SF, 28-40, who knows how to have fun. Friendship or more. 279326

I LUV YOUR BLUE EYES SWM, 48, 5’8�, brown/blue, handsome, loving, romantic, loyal, intelligent, evolved. Seeking SWF, 30-40, beautiful inside and out, sensitive, intelligent, likes good food, conversation, nature, the arts. Must dislike jury duty. You are very special to me. 270129

ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White Guidelines: Bohemian Romance is a community publication. Participants in the Bohemian Romance must be 18 years or older. Use of Bohemian Romance for any illegal purpose will be subject to prosecution. Bohemian Romance is not liable for the content of the personals advertisements or the response to such advertisements. Bohemian Romance encourages readers to take appropriate safeguards when responding to personal and arranging meetings. Screen all respondents carefully. Meetings with new companions should occur in public places and participants should not divulge their addresses. Be smart, not sorry. Not all boxes contain a voice greeting.

Dial 1.900.287.1222 or 1.800.273.8235 (with credit card or check) Only $2.19 per minute • 18 and up • Or call toll-free 1.800.214.3435 to become a member.

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0508

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THE BOHEMIAN

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SOMETIMES MISCHIEVOUS Optimistic, honest, clean-cut, caring, outdoorsy man, 50s, likes music, walks, long drives, running, watching tv, museums, dining out. Seeking SF, 50s, for companionship. 313135

Men Seeking Women

LET’S CHAT SHM, 41, N/S, wants to meet a SW/HF, 35-38, for friendship first possibly leading to more. 280682

FRIENDSHIP FIRST Caring, honest, nurturing SM, 60s, enjoys music, watching tv, walks, camping, coffee shops, hiking and museums. Looking for SF, 30-70, for dating possibly leading to LTR. 313144

ARE YOU OUT THERE? Italian male, 26, looking for a female, 1835, for friendship first possibly leading to more. Let’s meet and see if we hit it off! 280683

LET IT BE ME SWM, 20, 6’2’’, 175lbs, N/S, would like to meet a SH/AF, 18-29, for friendship or more. 279583

LONELY COWBOY SM, 36, likes fishing, hunting, dancing, rodeos, concerts, the country. Seeking down-home, family-oriented, nice SWF, 21-40, who likes travel. 264426

HAPPY & FUNNY SWM, 160lbs, brown/brown, honest, looking for casual dating, maybe more, with sincere SWF, 35-50. 283691

WE SPOKE SOFTLY SM, 45, likes sports, movies, working out, the ocean, travel. Seeking SF, 35+, for friendship, possible long-term romance. 275583

ALONE BUT NOT LONELY SWM, 37, N/S, social-drinker, enjoys racing cars and riding motorcycles. I’m looking for a SWF, 23-58, for friendship, dating and possibly more. 289031

EARLY RETIREE, 47 Former loan agent, moderate disabilty M.S., born/raised in S.F, SSU grad, (environmental studies), avid progressive Democrat, I’m inpatient for the November election. I have a 9-year-old daughter who lives with her mom. I love films, jazz, Trader Joe’s. Sanoma county. Seeking bright, positive lady, 35-50, N/S, for companionship. 219612

FRIEND LOVER SOULMATE SWPJM, 56, 5’10”, blue eyes, sandy brown hair, kind, passionate, artistic, sincere, committed and fun, enjoys ocean walks, travel, arts, food, wine and nature. Seeking SF, 50-62, kindred spirit, kind, soft, sensuous, for life’s adventures together. 309779

GIVE ME A CALL WM, 48, trying to find an outgoing, good-looking woman to go out and have a good time with. 30-50. 288940

MUST LOVE DOGS Active, with SOH, DWM, 53, average looking, 5’7”, 185lbs, brown/brown, seeking single or divorced W/H/AF, 30s-50s, HWP, for LTR. I’m a dog owner, animal lover, spiritual, intelligent, communicative, romantic, evolved, easy and fun to be with. 251210

LET’S MEET AND SEE SWM, 27, good-looking, 6’, 160lbs, tattoos, homeowner, looking for a White or Asian woman for friendship, dating and possibly more. 289651

TIRED OF BEING ALONE SHM, 25, 5’11’’, average build, seeks SW/AF, 19-26, to talk to and get to know. Let’s meet and see what develops. 286293

CALL ME! SM, 40, looking for SF, over 55, for friendship and companionship first. Let’s talk and get to know each other! 292779

SPECIAL WOMAN SM, 48, black hair, brown eyes, very outgoing, great personality, likes photography, basketball, music, travel. I’m looking for a woman who’s interested in dating and possibly more. 287933

HANDSOME BM... 65, seeks female for fun-loving adventures and relaxation. I love cooking, surprises, and giving gifts. 302811

LONG HAIR A PLUS Good-looking Native American male, 5’8”, 220lbs, long hair, in search of a Hispanic or Native American woman, 50s, for friendship first and companionship. 304173

PACIFIC NORTHWEST Casual guy, enjoys mountain and beach trips, walks, outdoors, moonlit nights, cuddling. Seeking SWF, 40-56, slim/medium build, to come spend quiet times in Pacific Northwest. 954499

SHARED JOY SWM, 59, 5’9”, 160lbs, nice-looking, with good SOH, seeking woman to have fun with, race/age unimportant. I like dancing, partying, shows and dining out. Call me! 972627

GET TO KOW ME SBM, 53, 6’1”, 190lbs, looking for a fun, loving woman, 25-65, with a good personality, who likes having a good time, the beach, horseback riding, movies, walks and more. 314332

LET’S HAVE FUN! SHM, 34, N/S, no children, looking for a SH/WF, 24-32, for dating, possibly more. 302392

PERSONABLE Shy SM, 50s, with good values, likes long drives, hiking, walking, travel, dining out. Looking for similar female, 4060, ready for LTR. 301538

LOVES HORSES Healthy senior WM, 165lbs, N/S, loves animals, especially horses, theater, PBS. Seeking slender female for romance. 302170

ARE YOU THE ONE? Bright, artistic, caring, flexible, adorable guy, 50s, likes music, dancing, travel, the beach, dining out. Looking for similar female. 302306

FUN, INTROSPECTIVE SWM, 52, 6’4’’, in good shape, likes classic movies, reading, hiking, classical music, sailing, the outdoors, travel, the symphony. Looking for SF, 22-50, similar interests. 301801

STARTING OVER Separated WM, loves hockey, the outdoors, golf, staying in and watching movies, gardening and more. Would like to meet someone fun who wants to enjoy life. Call me and lift my spirits. 282029

JUST MOVED HERE SWM, 5’7’’, 190lbs, brown eyes, wants to meet soulmate in similar SF, 30-55. I love swing dancing, travel, gourmet cooking, animals, nature. 305800

GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR SWM, 59, 5’11’’, 180lbs, non-smoker, blue eyes, sandy brown hair, enjoys fishing, beaches, dining out and more. Seeking female, 55-65, for possible relationship. 309857

HOPE TO FIND YOU Sociable, good-hearted, compassionate, healthy gentleman, 63, published writer/ poet, D/D-free, non-drinker, enjoys quiet times, home, sports, simple times. Seeking loving, happy, intelligent woman to share life, love, possible LTR. Bay Area preferred. 224839

JUMPIN JACK FLASH! Handsome guy, 57, adventurous, interesting, SOH, easygoing, enjoys dining out, dancing to live music, good movies, walks in the country, holding hands. Seeking attractive female. 201639

LOOKING FOR LOVE Seeking one man to love and care for completely and forever. Me: SBM, 50ish, affectionate, supportive, genuine, lots to offer. You: just be yourself, imperfect, mature older man, 70-90, with some humor, some laughter. Are you the one? 299175

COMPASSIONATE GUY Hard-working, classy, clean-cut, caring, honest male in search of a male, 58-69, who likes night clubs, television, travel, dancing, the beach, taking walks, exercise. 308996

Women Seeking Women

ROMANTIC ARIES Active “semi “ senior, 68, 5’9”, 160lbs. Romantic Aries looking for the 2nd love of my life. Lake County. Looking 4 active slim/athletic lady. My interests are varied; sailing, art, dancing, travel, etc. See you soon? 281170

GOOD HEART SEEKS SAME GWPF, young 53, tall, slim build, attractive, great SOH, femme/tom boyish, loves music, animals, outdoors, cooking and laughter. Seeking GPF, 45-65, for dating and more. 296665

LET’S SHARE IDEAS Caring gentleman, 60s, intelligent, good morals, clean-cut, likes outdoors, traveling, hiking, reading, ISO nice woman, 50-60, for friendship leading to LTR. 297183

SHARE MY WORLD Slender, athletic SF, 67, 5’6’’, registered nurse with a Master’s in Theology, loves hiking, swimming, museums, movies, cooking. Looking for SF, 55-68, for possible relationship. 301780

THIS ONE’S FOR YOU Single male, in my 40s, honest, goal-oriented, caring, outdoorsy, enjoys outdoor walks, long drives, art museums, traveling. ISO similar single female, 18-49, for dating leading to LTR. 297225

LOOKING FOR LTR SM, 31, outdoorsy, honest, compassionate, seeks SF, 22-35, who enjoys travel, television, camping, taking walks, the beach and more. 301200

SOPHISTICATED Caring, compassionate, hard-working, goal-oriented, artistic SM, 40s, likes camping, dancing, travel. Searching for similar male, 30s, for LTR. 301536

LOOKING FOR A SF WHO... is independent, confident and takes care of herself. I like good movies, dressing up for a nice dinner out, skiing, bike rides, hiking, scuba diving, swing dancing, cooking. I’m an honest person who doesn’t believe in playing games. 301540

READY FOR LTR Shy, friendly, caring, clean-cut, classy SM, 50s, enjoys music, camping, travel, long drives, hiking, beaches, seeks similar woman, 30-50, for LTR. 302300

LOOKING FOR LTR Hard-working, healthy, personable, honest, compassionate man, 40s, likes camping, travel, hiking, long drives, beaches. In search of similar female, 30s, for friendship leading to LTR. 302302

WHERE ARE YOU? You are 35-45, very feminine, dark, mystical, spiritual, with a sense of humor, know what you like, and want to enjoy life, but not alone. I’m trying to find you, where are you? 310085

NATURE LOVER Health-conscious, honest, wise, spiritual, artistic, friendly female, 50s, enjoys philosophy, psychology, walking, reading, the beach. Searching for similar female, 50s, for long-term relationship. 302296

Alternative Lifestyles SPANK YOU VERY MUCH Woman, thou shalt be spanked. Gentle or hard, clothed or naked, whatever you deserve, by a sexy man who knows how to do it. 288495

COUPLE SEEKS WOMAN Very attractive, middle-aged, married white couple, she’s 5’2”, 125lbs, 34D. He is 5’11”, 172lbs. Both and very sensual and she is multi-orgasmic. We are N/S, light drinkers, heal-conscious, pleasant, non-pushy. Please be N/S, H/W proportionate, white, Hispanic or Asian, under 55. Bi or bi-curious ok. Discretion assured. Let’s have fun. 314002

SOME ADULT ADVENTURES SM, 6’2’’, average, enjoys movies and toys. Looking for women, couples, males or she-males who want to have fun. 281444

Men Seeking Men WE SPOKE SOFTLY SM, 45, enjoys sports, working out, traveling, seeking SM, 35-65, for friendship and possible LTR. 287238

READY FOR FUN? SWM, 30, feminine bottom, looking for a top WM, 20-60, for good times and fun. Let’s see where it goes! 311892

DOMINANT BF SEEKS... PWM for submissive or slave position. Must be healthy, interested in dom/sub relationship with no games or drama. 285201

OPEN FOR ANYTHING BiWM, 54, 5’10’’, professional drummer, looking for good times with men and women, threesomes, foursomes, dressing up and more! 287793

STRAIGHT/BI GUY Frustrated with different need patterns at home? Understanding older gentleman, experienced, highly discreet, will provide time-tested stress relief for men, 30-50, in good shape; HWP, extremely private setting; no reciprocation expected. Curious? 136702

LET’S TALK! SWM, mid 30s, looking for discreet guys in the Larkfield area for friendship and fun. Call me! 300359

CALL ME BiWM, handyman artist in Marin, 52, 5’6”, 180lbs, dirty blond hair, pale blue eyes, seeks couple or singles for fun in Marin or nearby. 293610

LOAN ME YOUR WIFE Handsome, discreet, easygoing, polite guy likes to party with couples. I’m 57, 6’, 190lbs, well-built, bi, and have a good imagination. 232423

WANTS SOME FUN Very hot SWM, 6’1”, 170lbs, salt-n-pepper hair, in good shape, very open, looking for erotic adult encounter with a H/W proportionate lady who needs attention. Want to get together? 303609

STRAIGHTFORWARD FUN SWM, 39, looking for SF, 18-50, who likes to try new things and isn’t afraid of having a little fun! 304707

JOIN US White couple looking for a female, 18-25, for fun, discreet times together. Give us a call. 311573

866.689.5312 18+

SHE-MALE SEEKS GOOD TIMES Want to spend time with a man or a woman. I am very affectionate, beautiful, and love to be held. Interested? 279657

Missed Connections CORINA IN OLIVER’S Saturday at 4:00PM, You had 15-yearold twins with blacks belts in karate. I have two cute little kids. We talked about children and kale. Lunch? 311695

JULIE IN SAFEWAY Sebastopol 7PM, you had a flower in your hair. We talked about basil and gardens. Meet for coffee or tea? 297217

AMAZON KINDLE Hello, I met you Friday June 27 at the Russian River Brewing Company on Fourth St. in Santa Rosa. She may be a computer programmer from St. Helena Hospital and watched on this day 3 movies back to back in the theater on Fourth St. in the town of Santa Rosa The Love Guru by Mike Meyers, Wall-E and another film. And she sipped a little beer and read from her Amazon kindle. I would like to get in touch with this girl and ask her to edit my book. She is a perfect candidate for my book. Hope to hear from you. Phil. 274972

1.888.218.8055 There’s no better time than NOW to connect with new people. We’re offering 10 free minutes to new members upon joining. For complete terms and conditions, check out People2People.com/sale

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THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

47

BOHEMIANCLASSIFIEDS Placing an Ad

Classified Index ❶ Employment

❹ Computer Market

❼ Real Estate Services

❷ For Sale

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➑ Home Services

❸ Music

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§ By Phone Call the Department at 707.527.1200 Mon.-Fri., 8:30a.m.5:30p.m. √ By Fax Fax your ad to the Classified Department at 707.527.1288

selling. Call 1-888-213-5225 Ad Code L-5. (AAN CAN)

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Personal Assistant Male professional, 60, seeks female for light housekeeping, care giving, and relaxation massage. Evenings or weekends. 10 hrs per week. Wages negotiable. Phone or fax 707-433-9086.

National Organization Now hiring government contractor, average pay starting $20-$25/hour, $60K/year. Federal benefits and OT. Paid training and vacations, retirement, No experience necessary. 1-888-334-5038. (AAN CAN)

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Driver Needed Sonoma Route Looking for a driver every Wednesday during the day to deliver papers for our Sonoma route. Pick up papers in Santa Rosa. Must be reliable and have own vehicle and license. Call Publisher @ 707.527.1200 ext. 201

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Computer Market

Professional Services

ggg Electronics

DIRECTV Satellite TV Special Offer:

For Sale

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Brand new laptops and deskSave $21/month for one year, tops. Bad or no credit, no Free HD-DVR, Plus 3 Free problem. smallest weekly months of HBO/Starz/Show

Singles Parties

Financial Services

THE BOHEMIAN

No Credit? No Problem! 100% Guaranteed approval for checking account. Also,

Real Estate Rentals

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Health Conscious Singles Mixer May 15, 8pm-10pm, University of Sports, 555 Rohnert Park Expy, Rohnert Park

Marin Singles Dance May 16, 8pm-12am, Grill 101 at Embassy Suites Hotel, 101 McInnis Pkwy, San Rafael

Singles Day at the Mountain Play

Health-Conscious Singles Mixer, Friday, May 15, 8-10pm, University of Sports, 555 Rohnert Park Expressway, Rohnert Park.

Marin Singles Dance, Saturday, May 16, 8pm-12, Grille 101 at Embassy Suites Hotel, 101 McInnis Pkwy, San Rafael

Contractors

Notice To Readers

California law requires that contractors taking jobs that total $500 or more (labor Notice ¢ Loan Modification or materials) be licensed by All real estate advertised in the Contractors State License Enclose phone number the Bohemian Newspaper is Board. State law also reand self addressed subject to the State and Fed- quires that contractors instamped envelope to eral Fair Housing Act, which clude their license number on Attention: makes it illegal to advertise all advertising. You can check Young`s any preference, limitation, or the status of your licensed PO Box 48 discrimination based on race, contractor at www.cslb.ca.gov Elk Grove, CA 95759 color, religion, sex, handicap, or 1-800-321-CSLB (2752). Unlicensed contractors taking family status (the presence of jobs that total less than $500 children), or national origin, Graphic Design must state in their advertiseor the intention to make any ments that they are not li such preference, limitation, or censed by the Contractors Golden Star Grafix discrimination. State and lo- State License Board. Need a quality designer? cate laws forbid discriminaBusiness cards, brochures, Classes & Instruction flyers, posters, digital collage, tion in the sale, rental, or cd covers, photographic advertising of real estate. We High School Diploma! restoration, general will not knowingly accept any Fast, affordable and accredmarketing materials. advertising for real estate ited. Free brochure. Call Now!. Mark Schaumann which is in violation of the 1-888-532-6546 ext. 97 707-795-0924, law. All persons are hereby www.continentalacademy.com schaumann1@earthlink.net informed that all dwellings . (AAN CAN) advertised are available on Audio/Video/Photography an equal opportunity basis to Have You Had A the best of our knowledge. Spiritual Experience? Shared Housing

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Burke Photography

Paul Burke 707.664.0178 boomburke@hotmail.com

Joe Louvar Productions 707.479.0050 QUALITY LIVE AUDIO RECORDING

g Homes

ALL AREAS HOUSES FOR RENT Browse thousands of rental listings with photos and maps. Advertise your rental home for FREE! Visit: http://www.RealRentals.com (AAN CAN) Class: Rent or Lease

Family Services Adults of ages welcome!

Home Services

¢ Credit Restoration

OWE 10K OR MORE to the IRS?

CO-SPONSORED by Bohemian Romance and Society of Single Professionals INFO at www. ThePartyHotline.com or 415-507-9962

05.13.09-05.19.09

707.527.1200 707.527.1288

payments available. It’s yours Need Tax Relief? Call Effectur free personality test. NOW for a FREE Consultation. Call 1-800-293-6463 now. Call 800/961-7754. We can help! 800-989-0518 (AAN CAN) (AAN CAN)

May 23, 7pm-9pm, Cushing Memorial Theatre at Mt Tam Mill Valley

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≈ Deadline Fridays, 2:00pm

Macintosh

Now Hiring!

Some ads in this section may require an initial investment or fee. Metro Newspapers encourages you to thoroughly investigate any advertiser’s claims before sending payment.

Bohemian Classifieds 847 5th Street Santa Rosa, CA 95404 Monday through Friday, 8:30a.m. to 5:30p.m.

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Attention Readers

∏ In Person Visit our office Monday through Friday, 8:30a.m. to 5:30p.m. at 847 5th Street, Santa Rosa

Brand name laptops and Online Pharmacy desktops. Bad or no credit, no Buy Soma, Ultram, Floricet, problem. Smallest weekly Prozac, Buspar. $71.99/90 payments available. It’s yours $107/180 quantities. Price innow. Call 800/803-8819. cludes prescription! Over 200 (AAN CAN) meds. $25 Coupon meition offer: #71A31. 1-888-661Consultants 4957. tripharmacy.net MacAdvantage (AAN CAN)

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Average pay $21/hour or $54K annually. Including Help Wanted Federal benefits and OT. Earn extra income assembling Paid training, vacations. CD cases from home. Call out PT/FT. 1-866-945-0295. live operators now! (AAN CAN) 1-800-405-7619 ext 150. www.easywork-greatpay.com Need to replace

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Contacting Us

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Pregnant? Considering Adoption?

Real Estate Services

Your Personality Determines Your Happiness

Know why? Call for your

Discover what your experiences really mean at this free fascinating workshop. Saturday, May 16th, 2009, 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. For more information about this workshop or Eckankar visit www.HaveASpiritualExperience.org or www.eckankar.org or call (707) 542-2100s

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DIRECTV Satellite TV Special Offer Save $21/month for one year, Free HD-DVR, Plus 3 Free months of HBO/Starz/Showtime! Call Expert Satellite. 1888-246-2215 (credit card required) (AAN CAN)s

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Services Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birthAll Areasmothers with families Rentmates.com nationwide. Living expenses Browse hundreds of online paid. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866/413- listings with photos and maps. find your roommate 6293 (AAN CAN) with a click of the mouse! Miscellaneous Visit: www.Rentmates.com. (AAN CAN)

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Free Workshop

Miscellaneous

Suffering With Anxiety or Depression? Think no one understands? Lucinda Bassett does. Get her free tape that will stop the suffering without drugs or alcohol. Call 800-652-9619. (AAN CAN)

HEALTH&WELL-BEING g Classes & Workshops

Qigong!! Wild Goose Qigong. Balance immune and nervous systems. Build endurance and high energy. www.wisdomhealing.org. Weegi Patrick Ryan. 707/293-8212

Man of Your Dreams

With a mature, playful CMT. Comfortable incall location near the J.C. in Santa Rosa. Soothing, relaxing, and fun. Visa/MC accepted. Gretchen 707/478-3952.

The Ultimate Massage Swedish and Deep Tissue massage by male CMT. 707-542-6856.

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MASSAGE FOR GUYS

Group Psychotherapy

Excellent Swedish, sports, stretching, & full-body DEEP tissue work by "the original" James. Call 707-237-2700 & get $50/hr today!

Counseling & Therapy

Full Body Sensual Massage

Men, women, couples. TLC, massage, Tantra, nurturing mutual touch. William 707-548-2187

Anxiety - Depression Excessive Worrying - Phobias - OCD, PTSD. Groups forming The Path Channel in SR and Pet. Licensed and Psychic reading, spiritual guidance, soul healing, experienced. LCS 9566. Dr. energetic awakening. AssisDoris Sami 707-544-0821. tance for the new millenium. Rachael Indra CHT, LMT, MA Healing & Bodywork 707-824-0894

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A Provider of Pleasure By a gentleman! Since 1991. Women, men, couples. Santa Rosa, 707/799-4467, Jimmy.

MEN! Get a massage A Safe Place To Be Real Holistic tantric masseuse. Unhurried, private, heartfelt. Monday thru Saturday. New client discount. 707-793-2232.

Therapeutic Massage

John CMT, Ten years experience. Santa Rosa. Introductory massage $50/hour, outcalls negotiable 707-327-7825

Call the Bohemian NOW to advertise! 707.527.1200 | sales@bohemian.com

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Psychic Palm and Card Reader Madame Lisa. Truly gifted adviser for all problems. 827 Santa Rosa Ave. 707-542-9898

the way you like it. Swedish and deep tissue techniques. Relaxing and rejuvenating. Flexible schedule for your convenience. Call James 707477-4365.

Best Chiropractor 2nd Place Quality family chiropractic care for managing chronic and acute pain.

Massage & Relaxation

Lily Spa

Now Open!

RELAX Asian Massage Thai • Deep Tissue Swedish • Hot Stone 1 HR/$65 90 MIN/$100 walk-ins or appt

707.528.2540 3401 Cleveland Ave #2 Santa Rosa

Tulips Health Spa • Asian Body Massage • Swedish/Deep Tissue Relieve muscle tension & pain! By Appointment

707.236.2325 1214 College Ave, 2nd floor Santa Rosa

Grand Opening! Massage • Deep Tissue/Swedish $50 hr • Sports • Shiatzu • Back Walking/Chair • Foot Reflexology • Chair $10/10 min massage

Guerneville M4M Massage Mitch, CMT. Mature. Professional. Relaxing intuitive touch. Private discrete studio. 707-849-7409

Happy Health Spa open 10-10, 7 days 525 Ross St, Santa Rosa

Ayurvedic

Indian Head Massage

• sports injuries • pediatrics • auto accidents

Jake Quihuis, DC 707-523-9850 1819 Fourth Street • Santa Rosa

• relief from tension headaches, eyestrain, and sinusitis • improves mobility in neck and shoulders • balances energy

Margery Smith 707.578.9642

• pregnancy / post-partum discomforts

Chinese Medicine & Massage Therapy Center FREE CONSULTATION with a Chinese medicine expert & Qi Gong Master. Treatment for pain & injury. Extensive traditional Chinese herbal pharmacy

707-591-8899

Relaxing leslie happyMassage health 0913

Grand Opening

Massage/ Body Work

HEAVENLY TOUCH

First bohotime jam$45/hr. www.garywtmassage.com, Gary, CMT. 707-235-5423

“ My work is solid, thorough and sensitive - and my prices are excellent! Twenty-five years of professional experience does make a difference.” Colin Godwin, CMT 707-823-2990.

Windsor: 4 Men Brent, C.M.T. 26 years experience. Nurturing, intuitive touch. Private, discrete studio. 707/477-0400.

Great Massage By Joe, CMT. Relaxing hot tub and pool available. Will do outcalls. 707-228-6883.

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Beautiful Asian Massage Health - Relaxation - Stress Relief - Experienced CMT

$50/hour $35/half hour New Customers 15 minutes FREE

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11am-9pm 161B Kentucky St, Petaluma 707.778.7888 • 626.627.8028

MORE THAN 15 MASSAGE TECHNIQUES FOR PERFECT RELAXATION Swedish, Deep Tissue, Acupressure, Reflexology Qi Gong • Thai Chi • Acupucture Cupping herbs • Infrared Sauna • Same-day Appointments Walk-ins Welcome • Treatments Start at $20 - Insurance Accepted Gift Certificates • Open 7 days, 10 AM to 8 PM

707.762.9111 • 172 Keller Street, Petaluma THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

49

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THE BOHEMIAN

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$100 off Doggie Boot Camp or 3 private sessions for $200* (reg $240) Low Cost Vaccination Clinics every Sunday, 9:30-11am

c 35 years training experience c Guest on the Discovery Channel’s K-9 Cops for his expertise c Obedience training the natural way c 10 acres of safe, country training grounds c Exceptional for aggression issues c Strong leadership skills taught for owners

WESTERN FARM CENTER 707.545.0721 21 West 7th St. Santa Rosa

exp 5/31/09*

707-322-3272 www.incrediblecanine.com

Meet Duncan • Cat of theWeek This kitty's personality belies his somewhat battle-scarred looks – he's an absolute love bug! Don't you think he looks eager to meet his new foreverowners? He LOVES, LOVES, LOVES attention and petting will jump right into your lap and roll over for full coverage. He's got a big PURR and is one of our most affectionate kitties To learn more about adopting Duncan or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us at 5345 Hwy 12 West, Santa Rosa (@ Llano Rd), open everyday from 126pm, or check us out online at www.SonomaHumane.org The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

Where do they stay when you’re away?

Premier Doggy Day & Overnight Camp • 24 hr Web Cam • Supervised Play groups Best Doggie Day Care Best Dog Camp Santa Rosa • 707.546.CAMP 2120 Bluebell Drive (just off Coffee Lane) www.mycbw.com/santarosa | santarosa@campbowwowusa.com

Meet Smokey • Cat of theWeek

Meet Ginger • Dog of theWeek

Don't let this picture fool you (Smokey had just awakened from his nap) - the Smokester is a sweet-tempered kitty who's really quite handsome in a "mature sort of way". He loves to follow you around and wind around your legs, his way of saying "I'm here, please pay some attention to me!" To learn more about adopting Smokey or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us at 5345 Hwy 12 West, Santa Rosa (@ Llano Rd), open everyday from 126pm, or check us out online at www.SonomaHumane.org

From Safeway to Safety! - this beautiful, gentle, Purebred 8 year old Lab walked up to a strangerinaSafewayparkinglot whereshehadbeenabandoned, lifted her paw and said "please help me" and he did, bringing her to the Humane Society. We kind of like her "elfin ear", the result of surgery to resolve a long-standing ear infection. To learn more about adopting Ginger or many other homeless animals at the Sonoma Humane Society, please visit us at 5345 Hwy 12 West, Santa Rosa (@ Llano Rd), open everyday from 126pm, or check us out online at www.SonomaHumane.org

The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

The Adoption Center is open 7 days a week from 12PM - 6PM and is located at 5345 Highway 12 West, Santa Rosa (just 5 miles west of Hwy 101 @ Llano Rd) www.sonomahumane.org

BOHEMIAN FLIPSIDE

To place your ad call 707.527.1200

North Bay Bohemian’s Pocket Dining Guide Publishing May 09, Deadline May 18, 09 Spring/Summer glossy four color Dining Guide featuring North Bay restaurants. Targeting our “Resident Tourists” and our region’s food and wine enthusasts!

Call for Reservations Today! 707.527.1200 | sales@bohemian.com FIRST TIME HOME BUYERS! Now is the time to buy!

SPIRITUAL CONNECTIONS

Prices are down & interest rates are the lowest in years. Call me for a FREE Evaluation of your situation. Together we can move you from renter to owner! PRIMARY RESIDENTIAL MORTGAGE, INC. 523-1700

Finding inspiration and connecting with your community Mahakaruna Buddhist Meditation Center

Reading room, art gallery, prayer/meditation gatherings, spiritual journey resources, bodywork, bookstore, free WiFi. 1601 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa. www.journeycenter.org 707.578.2121

Offers ongoing introductory and advanced classes. Wed at noon, Tues & Weds evenings 7:30 - 8:45pm Prayers for World Peace Sun, 10:30 - 11:45am Everyone welcome

BRIDGE CENTER

304 Petaluma Blvd., North Petaluma www.meditationinnorcal.org

Share your organization’s inspiration with over 95,100 Bohemian Readers monthly! Call Today! Phone: 707.527.1200 email: sales@bohemian.com

Forever Summer Tanning Spa Look Tanfastic!

The Journey Center: Christ-centered Spirituality, Healing, & Wholeness

is an Independent Unity-Based Spiritual Center. 10:30 Service at the Petaluma Community Center “The Club Room” 320 N. McDowell Boulevard. www.bridgecenter.org.

Mahakaruna Buddhist Meditation Center Offers ongoing introductory and advanced classes. Weds at noon, Tues & Weds evenings 7:30-8:45pm. Prayers for World Peace - Sun 10:30 - 11:45am Everyone welcome! 304 Petaluma Blvd., North - Petaluma. www.meditationinnorcal.org

Rocks and Clouds Zendo Meditation and Dharma Talk

193 Southwest Bl. Rohnert Park, CA (707)795.1671 We offer Tanning, Flawless Airbrushed Sunless Tanning & Body Treatments Customized To Fit Your Needs. We Help You Look & Feel Your Best. www.foreversummertanning.com

Wednesday nights, 7:00 p.m. 618 South Main Street, Sebastopol. www.rocksandclouds.org 707/824-5647.

CertificationBin Ayurveda & Aromatherapy Practical & Clinical Experience. Pulse Assessment, therapeutic bodywork, nutrition, traditional medicine & more! In Sebastopol - Starts Sept. Curriculum online dhyanacenter.com 707-823-8818

Centering Prayer Silent Retreat Day This retreat day will offer silence and a variety of contemplative prayer practices. Beginners welcome. Cost: $25. Sat, May 16, 10am - 5 pm, Journey Center, Santa Rosa, 707-578-2121, http://www.journeycenter.org/

Electric Monk Tatoo 707.539.MONK WWW.ELECTRICMONKTATTOO.COM

Q UALITY G RAPHIC D ESIGN

EAST SANTA ROSA’S PREMIER TATTOO STUDIO 4970 Sonoma Hwy., Santa Rosa, CA. Mon-Sat. 10am-7pm

Law Office of Evan E. Zelig Criminal Defense Call today!

BUSINESS CARDS • BROCHURES

707.636.3204 or Toll Free; 888.ZELIGLAW. Available 24/7

If you or someone you know is being accused or charged with a crime, please do not wiat to retain counsel. Contact the Law Office of Evan E. Zelig today!

Gifts for Grads and Dads at Best Wishes!

POSTERS • T-SHIRTS • CD COVERS FLYERS • PHOTOGRAPHIC RESTORATION

general marketing materials

Candy Bouquets, Jewelry, Journals are just some of the ideas. Stop by today. 3080 Marlow Rd/corner Marlow/Piner Rd www.bestwisheswinecountry.com

Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

BOROLOS PIZZA, HOME OF THE SOURDOUGH CRUST!

schaumann1@earthlink.net

OPEN EVERYDAY, 707-539-3937, 300 Mission Blvd. Santa Rosa.

*Take Out & Delivery *Classic to California Creative

Now Online! 2009 Best of Winner Awards Go to www.bohemian.com, click “Get your 2009 Best of Award” Sign in, Choose County & Download your Award!

847 5th Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95404 | 707.527.1200 | sales@bohemian.com THE BOHEMIAN

05.13.09-05.19.09

51

SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM 1901 CLEVELAND AVE SUITE B SANTA ROSA 707.576.0818 www.srtp.net Your Personality Determines Your Happiness

We provide treatment for: Oxycontin, Vicodin and Heroin utilizing replacement medications. We also treat Methamphetamine and other stimulant dependence. • Subutex/Suboxone available • Providing Treatment since 1984 • Confidentiality assured

Yes you can afford fitness!

Need A Living Trust,

Yoga, NIA. Groove Studio. Call for info 707.539.6261

To file for Divorce, or to form a LLC? Need Help Preparing a Small Claim or other Documents? Affordable Estate Planning & Legal Document Preparation. Home, evening & weekend appointments available. Nielsen Paralegal & Legal Doc. Prep. Service 415-461-4385. Serving Marin & Sonoma.

Know why? Call for your free personality test. Call 1-800-293-6463

Relapse Doesn’t Mean Failure

Skirt Chaser Vintage

Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help. (707) 576 0818

Unique Fashion for Men and Women - - 1930’s to 1980’s $ We Buy $ HOURS: Tues - Thurs 12-6/ Fri & Sat 11-6/ Sunday 12-4, 441 Sebastopol Ave - In the A Street arts district (707) 546-4021

Santa Rosa Treatment Program

NEED QUICKBOOKS HELP? QB Pro Advisor comes to you. Customized setup, hands-on training and support. Mac & PC. Quick!Skillls 707-827-3765. Mention this ad for Free 1-hour consult.

Make Money Protecting Kids - FT/PT

get

Endorsed by Oprah & BBB accredited. Free info/training. Call Chuck 707-538-8688. www.childsafetybiz.com/chuck

Sign up Now-Integrative Yoga Teacher Training

life

September 2010!! A 200 hour non-residential program. 1 wknd/mo. for 10 months. Bodyworks-Integrative Yoga Studio. 490 2nd St., Petaluma. 707-769-9933 or www.bodyworksyoga.com

on not on drugs

Exhibitors and Vendors Wanted! Sonoma County Showcase, Sat., May 30, 11AM - 5PM, Grace Pavilion Building, Sonoma County Fairgrounds, Santa Rosa. Free public admission & parking. 200 exhibitors, entertainment, food, beverages, door prizes. Events Unlimited, 707-527-7563. www.sonomacoeventsunlimited.com.

20% Off Any Haircut, Perm or Color Services Special Effects for Hair, 1418 4th St., SR 707-528-6271

Buy only cage-free eggs... Check out why at www.compassionatecarnivores.org/chicken.html

MICHELLE CRAWFORD, ATTORNEY REPRESENTING EMPLOYEES IN SEXUAL HARASSMENT WAGES • TERMINATIONS 20+ YEARS EXPERIENCE, FREE CONSULTS 719 ORCHARD STREET, SANTA ROSA

707.523.7820

high

• Heroin/Opiate (Vicodin, Oxycontin) detox and maintenance utilizing Methadone

SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM

• Methamphetamine and other stimulant treatment

ANDRE SR TREATMENT 0718 BOHO JAM

Medicann - Med. Marijuana Evaluations

Lic. MD 866-632-6627 Free I.D. card 24/7 verification. Doctor/patient confidentiality. Discount for MediCal, MediCare and veterans.

Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help.(707) 576-0818.

Into This World Yoga Teacher Training Yoga Alliance Registered School! 200-hour and 500-hour programs. Continuing Education for Yoga Teachers! Visit www.intothisworld.net or call 707-664-9560

Medical Marijuana Certifications Santa Rosa. Best price. 24/7 authentication. 707-575-7375 www.mmj.medical-library.net

Gifts for Grads and Dads at Best Wishes! Candy Bouquets, Jewelry, Journals are just some of the ideas. Stop by today. 3080 Marlow Rd/corner Marlow/Piner Rd [ http://www.bestwisheswinecountry.com ]www.bestwisheswinecountry.com

Black Cat Bar & Humble Pie Restaurant Music, Drink Specials, Seriously Delicious Food! Open Mic Wednesday nights. A must try! The Black Cat is located at 10056 Main St., Penngrove, 707.793.9480. Check it out!

Santa Rosa CopWatch First and third Tues at 7, discussion of police accountability and observation plus know-your-rights training. Free Mind Media, 546 Pacific Ave, Santa Rosa, 707.579.1605

Golden Star Grafix Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic restoration, general marketing materials. Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

MacAdvantage Macintosh Computer Repair

• Providing Treatment since 1984

FREE Diagnosis, Friendly In-House Staff Answer Calls, Hardware/Software, DATA Recovery, Internet, Email, Wireless Network Setup & Security, Apple Authorized Business Agent, Tam Nguyen-Chief Tech, M-F 10-6. [ mail to:info@themacadvantage.com ] 707.664.0400, info@themacadvantage.com

• Confidentiality assured

Burke Photography

• Subutex/Suboxone available

1901 Cleveland Ave Suite B, Santa Rosa 707-576-0818 www.srtp.net

Meth and Alcohol Treatment that allows you to keep your day job!

Paul Burke, 707.664.0178 boomburke@hotmail.com

SUBUTEX/SUBOXONE available for Safe Oxycontin, Vicodin, Other Opiate Withdrawal! Confidential Program. (707) 576 1919

Life seemed hopeless, I relapsed and felt like I could never afford treatment.

Electric Bikes and Motor Kits E Bikes repairs and upgrades. Convert your bike to electric. 707-780-3335 www.hightekbikes.com

Discover the Credit Secrets Bible! In print over 14 years. Powerful insider secrets. 888-601-8340

Turning Point Residential Program NEW Working Adult Program and NEW Payment Plan Affordable • Confidential • 35 Years Experience

DAAC Turned my Life Around ~ I used their payment plan. (707) 544-3295 24/7 - www.daacinfo.org

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