[02]
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y HOME OF FAST, FRIENDLY, COURTEOUS SERVICE.®
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010
[03]
[04] CONTENTS
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
Cover Silicon Valley’s Weekly Newspaper
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A locally owned company
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010
[05]
[06] LETTERS
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
mostly about the process. You can scratch â&#x20AC;&#x153;marriageâ&#x20AC;? and rename it, â&#x20AC;&#x153;purple unicorn breath,â&#x20AC;? and it would be the same to me. Not so for others, so the debate rages on. Meade Fischer Watsonville
Happy Days The comments are so funny (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Merc Ownerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bankruptcy Blindsides Newsroom,â&#x20AC;? The Fly, Jan. 20, and SanJoseInside.com, Jan. 19). I like how the people who write them donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bother with even the simplest of facts, like the fact that the Merc is not going out of business. Why slow down your opinion with facts? Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m also highly amused by the characterization of a document sent out to literally hundreds of Bay Area journalists as an â&#x20AC;&#x153;internal memorandum obtained by San Jose Inside.â&#x20AC;? This made me happy! In the Know From SanJoseInside.com
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Semantics Gay marriage is a contentious issue, and one that seems to rest primarily on semantics. In California we have marriage, and we have domestic partnerships, which convey the material beneďŹ ts of marriage but deny the cultural and emotional beneďŹ ts. So, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;marriageâ&#x20AC;? that is the sticking point. This is not surprising, as humans live in a semantic world. The Old
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Testament starts out with God naming things. What we call something usually determines how we think about it. With that in mind, and knowing there are two conďŹ&#x201A;icting opinions on gay marriage, I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help thinking about the basic elements of a sentence, that unit of human thought. A sentence is divided into a subject and a predicate: what it is and what it does. The more I thought about it, the more I
suspect that there are subject people and predicate people. Take this sentence: Marriage is a formal union between two people who love each other. Subject people stop at the word marriage and apply their deďŹ nition before reading on. Predicate people donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t pay much attention to the subject but look at the rest of the sentence and say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;People loving each other; union; sounds OK to me.â&#x20AC;? As a predicate person, I care
So Long Good riddance to the Mercury. Hopefully in its place will emerge a more objective newspaper that will present both sides of an issue rather than a poorly veiled editorial. Steve From SanJoseInside.com
Spin Zone The Mercury was clearly spinning the news and not being honest with its readers, casting it as a â&#x20AC;&#x153;prepackagedâ&#x20AC;? debt restructuring. In fact, this is an ownership control change, effectively a distress sale to creditors. Management is being allowed to retain a 20 percent stake while investors Scudder and Hearst are being wiped out. A.J. Turkle, from SanJoseInside.com
On the Bias I warned the Merky Pravda. I wrote their editors and told them their readership would increase if they worked on their bias problem. They dismissed me with a smug â&#x20AC;&#x153;our ďŹ nances are ďŹ ne.â&#x20AC;? They also explained their 9:1 liberal/conservative letters section as â&#x20AC;&#x153;reďŹ&#x201A;ecting the demographics of the area.â&#x20AC;? Other papers handle it by issue, rather than populace. James Conroy, from SanJoseInside.com
Stay in Touch Just want you to know that I appreciate being able to see the Metro PDF (www.metropdf.com) fully online. I just got a job in San Francisco and live there during the week, and having access to the publication this way helps me stay in touch with the happenings here in Silicon Valley! Cheers and thanks! Amor Santiago, San Jose
J!Tbx zpv Textbook Case How could you be so careless as to not erase your texts? I saw them on your cell while you were showering, along with a text from your wife, who was wondering when you were coming home. Maybe she knows about us now, and all because you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t erase your texts. Now I have to worry that she knows every time she comes into the shop. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? You obviously canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be trusted to keep things private. This affair is over. SEND US your anonymous rants and raves about your co-workers or any badly behaving citizenâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;or about citizens you admire. I SAW YOU, Metro, 550 S. First St., San Jose, 95113, or via email to Isawyou@metronews.com.
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010
[07]
[08] SILICON ALLEYS
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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GARY SINGH
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Finding San Jose
F
OR EIGHT YEARS now, Josh Marcotte has wandered around San Jose taking photographs of abandoned buildings, neon signs, empty storefronts, defunct railroad yards, discarded couches and graffiti-stained underpasses. His photo project, “Lost San Jose,” captures every possible depiction of crumbling infrastructure he can find. His website, www.lostsanjose.com, describes his work as “insomnia, trespassing and a camera . . . a view of a city that’s hidden, overlooked and unwanted. It’s a eulogy for my dying neighborhood.” But death is not the end. On Saturday, Feb. 6, Marcotte will launch a solo show of his photos at, of all places, the Blues Jean Bar in Santana Row. This is the hipster jeans place where you walk up to the counter and choose your material: dark, light or distressed—a concept perfectly fitting for the event. Unlike most of us, Marcotte is a fourth-generation San Josean. His grandfather dropped out of Lincoln High School to fight in World War II. His great-grandfather worked for the railroad. Thanks to history lessons passed down from those earlier generations, Marcotte developed a keen sense of lost San Jose at a very early age. “When I was growing up, every weekend I would go and mow my grandfather’s lawn,” Marcotte recalled over the phone. “He would always tell me all these great stories about the history of San Jose and downtown, and when he was a kid growing up. . . . He would sometimes even drive me places and show me things that either were still there or no longer there. He was so fascinated with history, and he was such a fan of San Jose—and I just enjoyed going out with him so much.” When he arrived at San Jose State University in the late ’90s, Marcotte found himself wandering alone downtown for the very first time. He would get out of class and just roam the streets. “I was trying to connect to what my grandfather had told me, and trying to piece things together,” he said. “And what I found was that all of the buildings are empty, all the theaters were abandoned, all of the storefronts were boarded up; buildings were being torn down, hotels were being lifted up and moved across the parking lot. It was just chaos downtown, and everything seemed empty.” As a result, Marcotte was inspired enough to start documenting his travels. At that time, he worked at the Century Theatres on Winchester and often walked from there all the way down Stevens Creek and San Carlos to downtown San Jose, habitually writing up his perceptions of the city’s seedy underbelly. To that point, his only experience with cameras was an intro Thanks to history to photography class at Del Mar High lessons from earlier School, but he saved money, bought a camera and began to record his generations, Josh wanderings. Marcotte developed a “It got to the point where so many keen sense of lost San things were disappearing,” he said. “I wanted to document it. I wanted Jose at a very early age to have pictures of it, so I could remember it. . . . I had pictures of Notre Dame High School being torn down; I had photos of the Santana Row fire; I had pictures of things that were starting to go away.” Marcotte takes most of his photos at night, since he often has insomnia and just wanders around the dark streets. The show will feature both new and old photos. His work will also be included in a group exhibit at Kaleid Gallery at Fourth and San Fernando streets, beginning Feb. 5. “It’s about trying to connect with the past generations of my family,” Marcotte said. “Trying to document what I felt was being lost, trying to see if I was the only one out there who enjoyed San Jose and its nightlife and its underbelly.” Just like the Blues Jean Bar, Marcotte’s photos have something for everybody— whether you’re looking for dark, light or distressed material. I can’t think of a better reason to visit Santana Row. Stay in touch by emailing me at SiliconAlleys@metronews.com
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 MASHUP
[09]
best of the local web
A roundup of news, commentary and opinion from around the valley. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect Metro’s editorial views.
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Jobs: ‘The Most Important Thing I’ve Ever Done’ WE haven’t heard this firsthand, but we’ve heard it multiple times THE GOD OF HYPE Cfijoe!uif!tdfoft-!Tufwf!Kpct! second- and thirdhand jt!ufmmjoh!bozpof!xip!xjmm!mjtufo!uibu!ijt!ofx!efwjdf!jt! from completely jotbofmz!hsfbu/!Hj{npep!jnbhf/ independent sources. Senior Apple execs and friends of Steve Jobs are telling people that he’s about as excited about the upcoming Apple Tablet as he’s ever been. Coming from the man who has created so much, that’s saying something. If Jobs thinks the iPhone was just a warm-up act to this device, I can’t wait to see what it can do. As if our expectations weren’t already set high enough. —MICHAEL ARRINGTON, TECHCRUNCH.COM > Vb hjgZ i]Vi HiZkZ i]^c`h ^i ^h ^bedgiVci WZXVjhZ d[ i]Z ediZci^Va Vh Vc ZYjXVi^dcVa idda# Å?ZVc"B^X]Za 9ZXdbWZ CdeZ! [dg ^ih ediZci^Va Vh V \Vb^c\ idda# ÅHiZkZc BX8dgb^X` CdeZ! [dg ^iÉh ediZci^Va Vh V bdcZn"bV`^c\ idda# ÅbV\cjh >i ldjaY YZÒ c^iZan WZ Vc ZmXZaaZci ZYjXVi^dcVa idda# > hZZ i]Z lVn ndjc\ X]^aYgZc iV`Z id i]Z ^E]dcZ VcY i]Z ^EdY IdjX]# L^i] i]Z hda^Y^in d[ i]Z 6ee HidgZ l^i] Vaa i]dhZ YZkZadeZgh dc WdVgY VcY ^IBH eaVi[dgb! i]ZgZÉh Vabdhi cd lVn i]^h iVWaZi l^aa WZ V [V^ajgZ# Å8dchiVWaZ DYd 8Vc 6eeaZ gVbe i]Z ZmX^iZbZci dg ZmeZXiVi^dc Vcn ]^\]Zg# 6aa >Éaa hVn ^h ^i WZiiZg WZ i]Z ?Zhjh IVWaZi dg ^iÉaa WZ V W^\ aZi"Ydlc cdl# <gZVi ^h cd adc\Zg \ddY Zcdj\]# ÅGdWZgi 9dnaZ J\]Å>Éaa WZ \aVY l]Zc lZ XVc hide \jZhh^c\ VWdji i]Z iVWaZi VcY hiVgi iVa`^c\ VWdji ]dl bVcn h]dgiXdb^c\h ^i ]Vh# /"E Å9dc HnchiZa^Zc
Will iPad Avenge Newton And Apple TV? L]Zc ^i XdbZh id 6eeaZ! egdYjXi VcY bVg`Zi^c\ VgZ a^`Z i]Vi Z[[dgiaZhhan eZg[ZXi bVgg^ZY XdjeaZ ndj hZXgZian Zckn# 6eeaZÉh [gZcon"^cYjX^c\ aVjcX]Zh VcY hVijgVi^dc bVg`Zi^c\ VgZ jhjVaan WVX`ZY l^i] ZfjVaan ^ccdkVi^kZ VcY hVi^h[n^c\ egdYjXih# A^`Z i]Z bVgg^ZY XdjeaZ dg AZ7gdc ?VbZh! I^\Zg LddYh ! 6eeaZ hdbZ]dl a^kZh je id i]Z ]neZ l]Zc ^iÉh h]dl i^bZ# >i bVn iV`Z Vl]^aZ id ldg` dji i]Z `^c`h hjeean! eg^X^c\! ZiX# Wji ZkZcijVaan i]Z egdYjXih WZXdbZ XViZ\dgn `^c\h! ^[ cdi `^aaZgh# L]^aZ i]ZgZ ]VkZ WZZc cdiVWaZ XdbbZgX^Va [V^ajgZh
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MASHUP JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
mashup
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 NEWS
Santa Clara Valley, California
the
â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pants Officially No Longer on the Groundâ&#x20AC;?
January 27-february 2, 2010
FLY
Candidate Hennessey Still Homeless GZbZbWZg aVhi DXidWZg! l]Zc XajW dlcZg G6N H=6;6O6C9 VccdjcXZY i]Vi ]Z lVh \d^c\ id bV`Z HVc ?dhZĂ&#x2030;h 9^hig^Xi ( XdjcX^abVc! H6B A>886G9D! ;><=I 6 B:6C G:":A:8I>DC 76IIA:44 I]Z aVhi i^bZ ;an hed`Z id i]Z dlcZg
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i]Z ]dhe^iVa" Xde"ijgcZY" YddgbVc MOVING!!Ifoofttfz gjcc^c\ [dg 9^hig^Xi ( Vh V egd"Wjh^cZhh XVcY^YViZ! hi^aa ]Vh V XVbeV^\c lZWh^iZ i]Vi gZVYh Ă&#x2020;JcYZg 8dchigjXi^dc!Ă&#x2021; VcY ]ZĂ&#x2030;h hi^aa a^k^c\ Vi ]^h YVYĂ&#x2030;h ]djhZĂ&#x2026;^c Bdg\Vc =^aa# 6eeVgZcian i]Z VeVgibZci ]jci ]Vh WZZc aZhh i]Vc [gj^i[ja [dg i]Z [dgbZg ?d]ccn KĂ&#x2030;h WVgiZcYZg# DcZ gddbbViZ eVhhZY dc =ZccZhhZn WZXVjhZ ]Z lVciZY V adc\" iZgb Xd"iZcVci VcY lVh ldgg^ZY i]Z I^bhiZg ldjaY WV^a ^[ ]Z adhi i]Z gVXZ# ;an lVhcĂ&#x2030;i VWaZ id \Zi V ]daY d[ =ZccZhhZn Wn egZhhi^bZ! Wji ]Z Y^Y aZVkZ V bZhhV\Z aVhi lZZ`! hVn^c\ i]Vi i]Z \d^c\ ]Vh WZZc hadl dc ]^h XVbeV^\c Ă&#x2020;WZXVjhZ d[ i]Z ]da^YVnh#Ă&#x2021; =Z VYYZY i]Vi ]ZĂ&#x2030;Y ejaaZY i]Z eaj\ Vi i]Z aVhi b^cjiZ dc V ?Vc# &+ [jcYgV^hZg WZXVjhZ ^i XdcĂ&#x201C;^XiZY l^i] Vcdi]Zg GZejWa^XVc XVcY^YViZĂ&#x2030;h h]^cY^\# Got a Tip for The Fly? ďŹ&#x201A;y@metronews.com
STEEP RATES Hsfh!Hjoofs-!xip!qvu!b!5.ljmpxbuu!tpmbs!tztufn!po!ijt!ipvtf-!
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A Solar Soaking? At 9 percent interest, is the stateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new solar-loan program worthwhile? By Curtis Cartier
F
could keep credit-worthy people from buying solar systems while they wait for the new program to roll out, possibly not until June. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There are a lot of things that could change by the time the program is initiated and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d rather not speculate on the interest rate.â&#x20AC;? The San Jose City Council is deciding whether to officially jump on board the CaliforniaFIRST ark as this issue goes to press, at its Tuesday, Jan. 26 meeting. If the
OR NOW, San Jose planners would rather not talk about the new ďŹ nancing program that could help thousands of valley residents go green. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not that they arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t excitedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the program, dubbed CaliforniaFIRST, targets homeowners that lack the good credit necessary to get a bank-issued loan for an alternative energy system, providing them ďŹ nancing by placing a tax obligation on their property instead of a debt obligation on them. In
some ways, the plan is as progressive as can be found in California. But at 9 percent interest, the loans, which would be supported by the sale of the bonds and paid back through a participantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s property taxes, are a bum deal. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re really not doing any publicity for the [CaliforniaFIRST] program right now,â&#x20AC;? says Jessie Denver, San Joseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s solar program coordinator, who says the city is also trying to stay low-key due to industry fears that the program
9 Percent
5.99 Percent Interest $25,000 Average cost
Interest participants in CaliforniaFIRST solar financing program would pay on loans
offered on home equity loans by San Jose Credit Union
[11]
of solar system and installation for medium-size house
council goes for it, San Jose will join Santa Cruz, Berkeley, San Mateo and 142 other cities and 14 counties in the program. The quasi-public organization California Communities is overseeing the massive effort, and Terrence Murphy, program coordinator with the group, admits that while the high interest rates are a problem, they may be able to be shaved down by the summer. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The interest rates will be based on market conditions at the time, which could be much better by then,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It will take some time before the market gets comfortable with this kind of credit.â&#x20AC;? Much depends on whether the program is approved for a $16.5 million State Energy Program grant to be decided in February. The money would help local governments cover program costs and could also be used to buy down the interest rates to 7 percent or 8 percent. But winning the highly competitive grant is far from assured. And down in Santa Cruz, one planner says that winning the grant may be necessary just to keep the city and county on board. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The grant money would also cover some startup and administrative costs for local governments, and my concern is that, if we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t receive it, that the county, and to the same degree the city, could walk away,â&#x20AC;? says Ross Clark, climate change coordinator with the city of Santa Cruz. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But I also think that once the bond market gets comfortable with the plan, the rates will come down signiďŹ cantly.â&#x20AC;?
Good Investment Or Money Pit? The results could go either way. The city of Berkeley rolled out a nearly identical program in November 2008, when its 40 open slots sold out in nine &'
$16.5 Million
Amount of State Energy Program grant money CaliforniaFIRST program may receive in February
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NEWS JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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minutes ďŹ&#x201A;at. Today, however, Dan Lambert, Berkeleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sustainable-energy programs manager, says roughly 80 percent of those who signed up for the program dropped out of it later when they found better sources of funding. And since Berkeleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s slightly lower rate of 7.75 percent proved unable to woo participants over the long run, he says other cities like Santa Cruz and San Jose are likely on course to see the same outcome. â&#x20AC;&#x153;People who signed up simply found cheaper money elsewhere,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;What it did, really, was steer people toward home-equity ďŹ nancing that they hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, up to that point, looked into.â&#x20AC;? But in the North Bay, another similar program, the Sonoma County Energy Independence Program, has been a resounding success with $16 million in energy efficiency and alternative power projects already installed and $24 million
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more in the works. The SCEIP program, which kicked off in March of 2009, offers loans at 7 percent interest, and according to program coordinator Liz Yager, the rate is low enough to satisfy â&#x20AC;&#x153;just about everyone.â&#x20AC;? Yet even if the loans remain at 9 percent, there are many who argue that using solar power to cut a sky-high energy bill down to nearly nothing is worth a loan at almost any rate. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I got a system ďŹ nanced at 2.75 percent, but even at 9 it can deďŹ nitely be worth it,â&#x20AC;? says Greg Ginner of Santa Cruz, who has a 4-kilowatt Enphase Energy solar system on his house that he says brought his monthly energy costs from $150 to around $20. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It all depends on your electric bill. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got $150 or more in electricity costs, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a slam-dunk. Plus you can write off all your interest payments when you do your taxes.â&#x20AC;? M
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 SAN JOSE INSIDE
a look inside san jose politics and culture
The Seeds of Economic Resurgence By Sam Liccardo
AS THIS WEEK brings news of our local unemployment rate just beginning to taper downward, local businesses are peering out from their frozen dens for the first signs of spring. That’s of little solace to thousands of our families still losing their homes and jobs, but it does raise a crucial question as we try to get people back to work: how can we best communicate to businesses that they should make San Jose the place to grow? Although the media typically focuses on the flight of jobs and companies from California, a 2007 study from the Public Policy Institute of California found that far greater employment shifts occur within California, from businesses moving from one county to another—usually adjacent— California county. Yet an even larger impact on local jobs comes from a corporate boardroom’s decision about where and whether they will expand, rather than whether or where they will relocate. The authors, economists Jed Kolko and David Neumark, conclude that real estate costs appear to drive many of those decisions. Naturally, the regulatory costs that cities impose on a company’s real estate decisions also play a key role. This week, Mayor Chuck Reed and Councilmembers Rose Herrera, Nancy Pyle and I will lay out a multipronged business incentive plan. We don’t pretend that this will provide the panacea for our anemic job growth, or that any one of these proposals will itself magically alter the trajectory of a San Jose business. Rather, we aim to improve the perception about doing business in San Jose, and to encourage business decision makers to take advantage of the city’s willingness to help them hire and grow here. These proposals include: • Waiving business license fees on any new small business employing up to eight employees to help the many residents—particularly in our immigrant communities—who often start small businesses during periods of high unemployment; • Reimbursing companies for city fees on tenant improvements or new development, by rebating the additional tax revenues created by the development activity over several years; • Creating a fund to pay for expedited permitting where we need to move nimbly to secure a company’s expansion, tenant improvements or move into a vacant building; • Waiving fees for employee parking in public garages for two years for any company choosing to enter or renew a lease in a downtown office or retail space; • Deferring the payment of some city impact fees on development—relating to transportation, sewer or other infrastructure improvements—where those improvements will phase in over time; and • Working with local business organizations to effectively spread the word about these incentives, and other programs, such as Enterprise Zone tax credits, that will make San Jose the place to hire and grow business. Two principles animate these proposals. First, we need to take calculated risks to become a locus of job creation. Doing nothing, of course, poses far greater risks, by condemning us to our current economic anemia. Second, with a $100 million deficit, the city cannot use current dollars &)
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SAN JOSE INSIDE JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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as an incentive for business activity. As our Office of Economic Development has explored, however, we can commit future tax revenues generated by that new business activity. These ideas, and others that might be generated by the community, local businesses and our colleagues, can work effectively if packaged together to sell San Jose to the rest of the world—but only if we act with the urgency that our struggling families deserve. HVb A^XXVgYd gZegZhZcih 9^hig^Xi ( dc i]Z HVc ?dhZ 8^in 8djcX^a#
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010
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[16] COVER STORY
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 COVER STORY
volution San Jose searches for a sane medical marijuana policy as Sacramento and Washington change all the rules BY JESSICA FROMM HORTLY AFTER walking into the halogenlighted courtroom, Lauren Vazquez felt the ache of a debilitating migraine begin to creep up. At the time a law student at Santa Clara University, Vazquez had made the four-hour drive to Redding from her home in San Jose to assist at a court hearing.
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Suffering from acute light-sensitivity and intense migraines, she had been a medical marijuana patient for several years. As she sat under the bright lights that morning, she struggled to maintain her composure throughout the three-hour hearing as increasingly intense waves of pain and nausea crashed over her. 19
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JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 COVER STORY
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Feds Back Off Friday’s court decision on medical cannabis marks a sea change in U.S. government policy regarding California’s Prop. 215 BY JESSICA LUSSENHOP
T
HE MORNING of Friday, Jan. 22, was a long time coming for Michael Corral. As he walked up to the doors of the federal courthouse in downtown San Jose, members of the Wo/Men’s Alliance for Medical Marijuana, a collective he helped to found in Santa Cruz in 1996, were slowly gathering outside the glass doors. Some leaned on canes and walkers; one member had a seeing-eye dog, another a wheelchair.
“It’s a draw. They didn’t win, we didn’t win,” Corral said. “This has gone on so long, it was time for it to end.” The group moved slowly through the metal detectors and to the elevator doors up to Judge Jeremy Fogel’s U.S. District Courtroom on the fifth floor. As the doors closed behind them, a security guard joked, “Toke-up party afterwards!” Compared to the eight years it took to get to this point, the hearing was uneventful—very brief, just a few minutes long. Judge Fogel looked out over the assembled group of about 30 WAMM patients and supporters and said, “It’s rare that dismissed-case management draws this big a crowd.” But this was no ordinary case dismissal. Not only was the federal government formally standing down from its defense of a 2002 raid on WAMM property by DEA agents, the settlement was also a formal recognition of Attorney General Eric Holder’s October 2009 memorandum titled “Medical Marijuana Guidance,” and the sea change in federal policy that it represents. Attorney Ben Rice, who has represented WAMM for the last 15 years, declared the decision a victory. RELIEF WORKERS Tbo!Kptf!Nfejdjobm!Hspvq!pqfsbujoh!ejsfdups!Tiboopo!Spdib!)mfgu*!boe!!
“Based on that new philosophy, if you will, by Eric Holder, [Judge Fogel] has urged us to resolve the case,” he says. “It’s a terrific win for WAMM as well as the people of this community.”
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stand in line. Once you are already into a migraine and are already at the nausea stage, you can’t keep down a pill. That’s not going to work.” Vazquez, 27, now holds an SCU law degree with a focus on drug policy and was recently admitted to the bar. In October of last year, she and 50 or so members of the local medical cannabis patient community officially formed the first Silicon Valley branch of ASA. Later that month, San Jose City Councilmember Pierluigi Oliverio announced that he was proposing an ordinance to regulate and tax the cultivation and sale of medical marijuana at dispensaries within San Jose’s city limits. That’s when the smoke hit the fan, so to speak. “At that time, there was only one dispensary operating in San Jose, and prior to that there had been none for almost 10 years,” Vazquez says. Two weeks ago, 20
WAMM formally became a nonprofit in 1996, just after the passage of Prop. 215. Despite the perceived protection WAMM got under statewide legalization of medical marijuana and local deprioritization ordinances, in the early morning hours of Sept. 17, 2002, 30 federal DEA agents drove up to Michael and Valerie Corral’s property in the Santa Cruz Mountains, arrested them both and cut down 167 marijuana plants just before harvest.
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“By the time it was done, I could barely walk out of the courtroom,” says Vazquez, interim director of the local branch of Americans for Safe Access (ASA), a medical cannabis group. “What was I supposed to say to the supervising attorneys, ‘Excuse me while I go outside to the parking lot and smoke some marijuana, so I can come back in and be of assistance to this case?’ That’s not really something you can say. “I barely made it out to my car, and fortunately I was able to medicate in my car and start to feel better,” she recalls. “I stayed there for about an hour, and then I was able to drive again.” She made it as far as a nearby shopping center before she was forced to pull over as another episode of sickness coursed through her body. “That’s what migraine headaches do, they make you nauseous and cause you to throw up. So there I am, sick in the parking lot,” she says. “I wasn’t in any condition to go to a pharmacy and
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At the time, the garden provided for the 250 ill and indigent WAMM patients who received a weekly allotment of the drug for free. Although the Santa Cruz community rallied behind the Corrals, the raid decimated the collective’s membership numbers and donations. Attorney Rice, along with Santa Clara University law professor Gerald Uelmen and eventually the American Civil Liberties Union Drug Law Reform Project, put together the lawsuit against then–Attorney General John Ashcroft and the DEA. “The argument is that while the federal government is free to enforce their laws in our state, they can’t force our state to change our laws by
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JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
she went on a tour of San Jose’s medical marijuana dispensaries, introducing herself and ASA to local operators and patients. “Between now and then, six more have opened,” she says, “I can’t keep up.” The number of cannabis dispensaries in San Jose has now expanded to around 20—mirroring a trend throughout California that has put the issue of medical marijuana in headlines nationwide. “Our timing was just right,” Vasquez says. “We got together right before Pierluigi put his request into the rules committee, and we’ve been growing since the first meeting.”
‘San Jose has attracted a lot of operators very fast, since frankly it’s a new market that has been ignored and completely underserved.’ —Lauren Vazquez, Americans for Safe Access On Wednesday afternoon (Jan. 27), the San Jose City Council’s Rules and Open Government Committee will begin seriously discussing the details of an ordinance, and set a date for it to be heard by the full City Council. The proposal calls for medical cannabis establishments to be allowed in specifically zoned locations in San Jose. It references U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder’s announcement that the DEA will no longer prosecute medical marijuana users in legalized states, 1996’s California Proposition 215, the “Compassionate Use Act” and 2004’s Senate Bill 420, which regulates how much medical marijuana patients and caregivers may grow and possess. While Oliverio’s proposal calls on city staff to model the ordinance after similar laws enacted recently in San Francisco, Oakland and Santa Cruz, it contains one innovation: it would also institute a minimum 3 percent “cannabis business tax.” It earmarks the money generated—projected to be at least $1 million—to the San Jose Police
Department and to street maintenance. Released on Oct. 27, the proposal also asked for a $10,000 permit fee, significantly more than other medi-potfriendly California cities. With dispensaries popping up around the city—many of which are begging to be taxed—the ordinance may be attractive to a deficit-plagued City Council.
Show Us the Money The city’s Planning Department is currently trying to figure out the timetable for the tax plan and new regulations. After Wednesday’s discussion and public comments are heard, Oliverio hopes that the rules committee will agree to bring the ordinance to the council for a vote. “At the first rules committee meeting where I presented this in October, we had really great testimonials from people who were actually ill,” Oliverio says. “There was one women who lived right across the street from [former San Jose mayor] Susan Hammer. She looked very disheveled; she was battling cancer. That is the face of medicinal marijuana.” Vazquez says that she and ASA want to be present from the beginning of these negotiations, working with the city to give feedback and dispel rumors. ASA Silicon Valley does not want San Jose to become another Los Angeles, she says, where hundreds of medicinal marijuana dispensaries have opened while the City Council has been stuck in a yearlong quagmire of negotiations, trying to establish an ordinance. “What we want to see is San Jose become a model regulator of medical cannabis, where it works for everyone: the patients, the city, the community,” Vazquez says. “San Jose is in unique position. They’ve seen what’s worked, and what’s not working. San Jose can learn from all of that and draft the best regulations moving forward and really become a model for the state, and provide real compassion for patients.” There seems to be somewhat of a hierarchy forming in the landscape of medical marijuana dispensaries and collectives that have materialized in the last three months. Some, like San Jose Medicinal Group downtown, and Pharmers Health Center Cooperative Inc., on the west side, have strict security and work out of professional-looking office settings. Their front room waiting areas have the feel of doctor’s offices, with nice art and plush armchairs that create a welcoming environment for their patients, some of whom come in wheelchairs or aided by walkers. A few other locations around the city, however, seem decidedly more slapped together. Some of these appear to service a younger clientele—including some 22
M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 COVER STORY
Feds Back Off 19
selectively enforcing the federal laws,” says Rice. “It makes it impossible for the state to distinguish between legal and illegal marijuana use, and that’s a violation of the 10th amendment.” The city and county of Santa Cruz joined WAMM in the lawsuit against the federal government.
What ‘Change’ Means While the Bush administration fought to have the lawsuit tossed, the entrance of the Obama administration marked a dramatic attitude shift that came into clearer focus with the release of the October 2009 memorandum to U.S. attorneys. It stated, “As a general matter, pursuit of illegal drug manufacturing and trafficking networks should not focus federal resources in your States on individuals whose actions are in clear and unambiguous compliance with existing state laws providing for the medical use of marijuana.” A spokesman for the U.S. Department of Justice and the ACLU attorney representing WAMM, Allen Hopper, both confirm that this memorandum set the stage for the settlement. “It was pretty clear to everyone, including the judge, that the change in policy meant it was time to talk about settling the case,” Hopper says. The settlement says in essence that the government agrees to leave WAMM alone, as long as it abides by state laws. It also agrees that should the feds renege on their promise, the lawsuit can pop right back up in Judge Fogel’s courtroom and proceed. Although Uelmen acknowledges that the settlement does not establish precedent, the decision is an important milestone. “It’s a level of commitment,” he says. Hopper adds, “All these decisions have been reviewed at the highest level in the Justice Department.” WAMM members themselves were less effusive in their reactions. Valerie Corral called it a “wink” from the government. “This isn’t a huge personal victory for Michael and I,” she said in the hallway outside the courtroom. “But we’ve done two things: we’ve helped take medical marijuana mainstream, and we’ve kept the case open. If they break their promise . . .” “We can spank them,” interrupted Michael, smiling wryly. Medical marijuana is most definitely mainstream these days. Along with the Holder memorandum, 14 states now have medical marijuana legalization laws, and a dozen more are heading in that direction. California is ahead of the pack, of course, and District 13 Assemblymember Tom Ammiano has taken it a step further by getting a marijuana legalization bill, A.B. 390, through a state committee for the first time in U.S. history. Although time ran out before it could make it onto the assembly floor, Ammiano plans to reintroduce A.B. 390 in early February. The bill is of interest to District 24 Assemblymember Jim Beall, though not of course without some caveats. “I’m looking at if from a health standpoint,” Beall said, adding that he has not decided which way he’ll vote should the Ammiano bill come to the floor of the Assembly. “I’m looking to hear from addiction-medicine doctors.” Nevertheless, Beall says that with California budget woes at the top of his priorities, the potential revenue from future marijuana taxation is “a good positive.” Assemblymember Joe Coto did not respond to calls by presstime. As for the WAMM decision itself, the lawyers involved concede that it’s a commitment from Obama and Holder, but nothing enforceable. When asked whether a change in administration could yank that commitment, Hopper said, “By then we’ll have had these years where states have set up these procedures, the sky didn’t fall, there will have been additional tax revenue to local governments. It’s going to be very difficult for a future administration to say, ‘Whoa, stop.’ It’s kind of hard to put the genie back in the bottle.” M
[21]
[22] COVER STORY
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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dodgy-looking characters. Entering several of these locations, the scent of marijuana smoke permeates their lobbies. On Jan. 14, the city’s Department of Planning, Building and Code Enforcement released a compliance order against three San Jose medical marijuana dispensaries: Pharmers Health Center Cooperative Inc., San Jose Cannabis Buyers Collective (SJCBC) and Medileaf Collective. The order said that Code Enforcement had received complaints about these three locations, that they were investigating their practices and would be shuttering them if they refused to stop selling medical cannabis. Pharmers, SJCBC and Medileaf were all visited by code enforcement officers last week. Though the officers poked around and asked questions, the collectives say they have not received citations of any kind. “We haven’t issued any orders yet, because were still in the investigative stage,” says Code Enforcement official Michael Hannon. “I think we’re up to seven businesses that we’ve received complaints [about] and are investigating currently, but we anticipate that compliance orders will probably be prepared and sent out to these businesses soon.” Andy Schwaderer of Pharmers Health Center Cooperative says that Hannon and several other enforcement officers had stopped by twice. “They were supercordial and really nice, and we were really forthcoming,”
Schwaderer says. “We showed them everything, and we told them that we are working with the City Council.” Vazquez wonders if issuing the compliance order was just a scare tactic by the city to stop even more new dispensary locations from opening up. “It might be their way of rattling a big stick and getting their story in the paper so that more people don’t open up here,” she says. “San Jose has attracted a lot of operators very fast, since frankly it’s a new market that has been ignored and completely underserved.” The compliance order says that because these collectives are charging a fee for something that is not a permitted use under the city’s zoning ordinances, they must cease operations within 30 days. Oliverio says that because collectives operate these dispensaries, they must have some way to conduct business. Therefore, he says, this code compliance order is unrealistic. “The idea is that it’s a collective,” Oliverio says. “Someone has the right to grow [cannabis] as part of the collective. Now the question is, how am I supposed to trade? Do I bring some shells and say, ‘I have some shells, could you give me that?’ I understand that it has to pertain to state law, but I think there has to be a way for someone who has permission from a doctor, who has a painful disease, to be able to get it.” 24
M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010
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[24] COVER STORY
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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Hannon, however, says his department will be going forward from a strictly land use perspective. He points out that there has not been any evidence of criminal activities around San Jose dispensaries. The reports his office has gotten from neighboring businesses simply state that the dispensaries exist, he says. “At the end of the day, if they are selling, that is not something that is currently permitted,” Hannon says.
Legalize It—or Face a Lawsuit The medical marijuana community here in San Jose insist they are ready to fight to stay open for their patients. “Litigation is very likely,” Vazquez says. “We feel they should be allowed to operate and not be cited and fined, because that’s really how it happens. They [the city] don’t come in with cops and guns, they come in with code enforcement and citations and fine you out of business. Vasquez says the operators have legal teams that are prepared to take on the city and possibly win, or “drag out litigation and create costs for the city that are really not worthwhile.” She says they recognize that that is an
extreme measure, and would prefer to be tolerated unless there are more specific complaints about bad behavior. Whatever the outcome here in San Jose, it’s undeniable that the fight to legalize medical cannabis has gained more steam in the last few weeks and months than it has seen in the last decade. “Ultimately, I fully believe that San Jose is going to do the right thing,” Schwaderer says. “I think San Jose can really define how this type of business should be in a way that is moving forward, doing it in a pragmatic way that really benefits the community. Not in the way it’s been in the past 10 years where everybody is scared about it. “We are in full support of San Jose giving a specific tax, to make sure they get some of that money,” Schwaderer says. According to a recent Washington Post– ABC News poll, eight in 10 Americans now back medical marijuana. On Jan. 18, New Jersey became the 14th state in the union to pass legislation allowing seriously ill patients access to medicinal pot. On Jan. 21, the California Supreme Court got rid of limits on how much medical marijuana a citizen can own. “Things are happening fast, and San Jose really has the opportunity to do something that can be a model here,” Vazquez says. M
METRO SILICM O NE TVA 2, 2010 SPORTS R OL LSEI LYI C OJANUARY N VA L L E Y27-FEBRUARY JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010
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JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 EVENTS
[29]
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Auditions and Interview Dates at the Showtime Theater:
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[30] STYLE
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 MENU
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[31]
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Three visits to E&O Trading Co. reveal the strengths and weaknesses of its Southeast Asian menu By Stett Holbrook HAVE avoided eating at San Joseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s E&O Trading Co. for years. I ďŹ gured that its take on Southeast Asian food would do for Southeast Asian cuisine what some chains have done to Chinese food: sweetened it up, salted it up and dumbed it down to serve the masses. Why eat watered-down Southeast Asian food when Silicon Valley offers plenty of restaurants that serve the real thing for much less? Several months ago, I read that Arnold Eric Wong had been hired to revamp the menu at the San Jose restaurant and other locations in San Francisco and Larkspur. Wong ďŹ rst came to fame as the chef at San Franciscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eos, then a standout for East-meets-West cuisine. He went on to become chef and co-owner of Bakar, an upscale French bistro also in San Francisco. I was still skeptical, but Wong has real talent and I ďŹ gured that E&O would be worth a try. On my ďŹ rst visit, I was pleasantly surprised. My pork banh mi sandwich ($10) was ďŹ&#x201A;at-out delicious, even if the spicy mayonnaise was applied a little too thickly. While it costs about ďŹ ve times more than it does at the typical mom-and-pop strip-mall banh mi joint with which Silicon Valley is so very blessed, it earned its keep with the inclusion of Niman Ranch pork, tangy pickles and a loaf of crusty but soft bread that beats out
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many of the baguettes served at lower-market places. Usually when I eat a banh mi sandwich, I try not to think about the factory-farmed meat between the bread slices, but thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a problem here. E&O gets points for including humanely raised meat and locally sourced, sustainably farmed produce on some dishes. Green-papaya salads are standard fare at Vietnamese and Thai restaurants, but E&Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Burmese ginger salad ($10) more than held its own. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s made with crunchy green papaya, toasted coconut and Napa cabbage and tossed with a zingy lemon vinaigrette. I loved the supercrunchy peanuts sprinkled on top. I have nothing but praise for the Hakka eggplant ($5), an easy-to-miss side dish of meaty, braised eggplant that stops just short of being too oily. For dessert, the pineapple spice cake was dry as dust ($7), but then Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never had a good Southeast Asian dessert, so I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t expecting much. I love being proved wrong about restaurants, and it appeared that would be the case with E&Oâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;or at least it seemed so until I came back for a second visit, and my enthusiasm for the restaurant wilted under plates of oversauced, oversweetened and underwhelming food. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s start with the starters. The roti paratha ($5), buttery, ďŹ&#x201A;aky fried bread thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a standard in Malaysian restaurants,
was dry and mealy here. The woktossed green beans and garlic ($5) lacked the juiciness and blistered skin that the high heat of a wok usually imparts. The chicken dumplings ($10) were leaden and dense. Duck imperial rolls ($12)? Greasy. Entrees were slightly better. Shaking beef ($23), consisting of cubes of beef ďŹ llet tossed with garlic, onions and greens, is a dish that has become an upscale Vietnamese clichĂŠ since San Franciscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Slanted Door restaurant made it popular 15 years ago. At E&O, the beef was tender and all that, but the pool of salty and cloyingly sweet sauce in which it swam soon became too much. Firecracker chicken ($14) brought bites of chicken, asparagus (in January?), cashews, mushrooms and chiles. In spite of its name and the addition of whole dried red chiles, the dish hardly registered on my spice meter. I liked the red curry in shrimp noodles ($17), but the dried noodles, shrimp, carrots and shiitake mushrooms failed to combine to create a uniďŹ ed dish. I avoided the shiso pepperâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;grilled salmon ($19), since the ďŹ sh is farmed instead of wild. Why tout humanely raised meats and sustainable produce on the menu and then serve farmed salmon, a veritable poster child for environmentally disastrous food? The desserts on my second visit were an
acceptable version of crème brĂťlĂŠe (yawn) and an exceedingly dense and rubbery coconut tapioca (both $7). I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sure what to make of E&O. First visit good. Second visit, not so good. So I came back for a third visit. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m glad I did. I found a couple of other winners on the menu that tipped the scales of gastronomic justice back in E&Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favor. I loved the Indonesian corn fritters ($8). A greaseless, barely there batter held whole corn kernels together in thick, crunchy cakes served with a delicious chile-soy dipping sauce. The chicken satay ($8) with peanut dipping sauce was served hot and juicy right off the grill. And I liked the Korean-esque barbecued beef ($11)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;well-crusted sliced beef served with rather tame kimchi, excellent picked cucumber salad and watercress. My house-made guava soda ($3) made me happy, too. It was not too sweet but had loads of guava ďŹ&#x201A;avor. I skipped dessert the third time. I know enough to quit when Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m ahead. As for chef Wongâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reworking of the menu, turns out it never happened. He changed the menu at the restaurants in San Francisco and Larkspur but not in San Jose. Oh, well. San Jose gets snubbed again. But provided you order wisely, E&O still has enough to recommend it.
[32] DINING GUIDE
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 DINING GUIDE
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DB6 EG>:I6 L>C:GN’S E6JA @:BE is a pinot pioneer. But not that pinot. I’m talking pinotage. The pinotage grape is relatively unknown outside South Africa, where it was developed 85 years ago as a cross between pinot noir and cinsault. Cinsault is also known as hermitage, hence the portmanteau pinotage. Last week, fellow Wine Column contributor Steve Palopoli wrote about the gold medals won by Santa Cruz Mountains pinot noir makers, including tiny Loma Prieta Winery. Loma Prieta Winery has won gold medals for its H6K:G>6 K>C:N6G9 (located in Corralitos) Pinot Noir every year since 2004. Safe to say, Kemp has the pinot noir thing down pretty well. And judging by his first vintage of pinotage, he is onto something delicious with pinotage as well. His 2008 pinotage is made from grapes grown by his mentor E6JA LD;;DG9 on Lodi’s 6BDGDH6 K>C:N6G9 in the San Joaquin Valley. Kemp made only 51 cases (two barrels), and they quickly sold out. “Everybody just loved this stuff,” he says. I can see why. Kemp aged the wine in new French oak and added 10 percent pinot noir. It has the soft fruit and perfumed flavors of pinot noir and the backbone and earthy, spicy notes of a syrah or cabernet sauvignon. If pinot noir is described as a feminine wine and cabernet sauvignon as a masculine wine (yes, these are lame gender stereotypes; female soft, male brawny), then Kemp’s pinotage exhibits traits of both. It’s got yin and yang going on in equal measure. In spite of its relatively high 15 percent alcohol content, pinotage is not the fat fruit grenade you might expect. Yes, it’s a big wine loaded with juicy, round grape and blueberry flavors, but the acid and tannins balance and tame what could otherwise be a sloppy, lip-gloss-covered kiss of a wine. As pinotage decants in the glass, it seems to get a little leaner and racier. That lively acidity makes pinotage great with food, too. I had it with grilled salmon one night and with orzo and garbanzo beans, kale and cauliflower (a rather creative use of my pantry and refrigerator contents, if I do say so) another night, and it matched up well with both. Unlike South African pinotage, Kemp’s wine lacks the telltale banana flavor. He says he didn’t like the few South African pinotages he tried. He is out to make a California pinotage. So taken is Kemp with pinotage that he has decided to grow his own. He has grafted more than 700 underperforming cabernet sauvignon and merlot vines on his property to pinotage from Amorosa Vineyard cuttings, making him the only pinotage grower in the Santa Cruz Mountains. “I don’t know if I’m going to start a new fad or anything, but I really like it,” he says. While the 2008 is sold out, Kemp has 11 barrels of 2009 still in the cellar, so keep your eyes out for that opportunity. If it’s as good as the ’08, it’s sure to go fast as well. But what I’m looking forward to is the first vintage of Kemp’s estate-grown pinotage, still a few years away. Loma Prieta’s location and climate are special in that they allow Kemp to grow both fogloving pinot noir and heat-happy cabernet sauvignon. Pinotage is also a hot-weather grape, and Kemp hopes it will thrive under the vineyard’s ample southern exposure. How the vines will fare in the Los Gatos hills is open to question, but Kemp is confident his experiment will bear fruit—and delicious wine. Stett Holbrook (Twitter.com/Stett_Holbrook) For more information go to Lomaprietawinery.com.
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[34] DINING GUIDE
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 DINING GUIDE
mjwf! gffe Online Kitchens
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OOD BLOGS make up some of the most fertile and vibrant corners of the web, but those based in Silicon Valley are few and far between. Two of my favorite blogs are the essential K>:ILDGA9@>I8=:C#INE:E69#8DB$7AD< and 8=:OE>B#8DB. Both originate in Santa Cruz, technically not Silicon Valley, but I’m claiming them anyway. Two other standouts that are legit Silicon Valley sites are ;DD9<6A#8DB and *H:8DC9GJA:#INE:E69#8DB. Foodgal.com is the work of former San Jose Mercury News food writer (and very short-term Metro columnist) 86GDANC ?JC<. It’s a beautiful food and wine blog that focuses on recipes, interviews with big-name chefs, cookbook reviews and food news. In essence, this is an online food magazine that’s well worth reading. 8=:GNA HI:GCB6C GJA:, whose blog is named 5secondrule, was also a Metro contributor once upon a time. Her blog also focuses on recipes and musings on all things food, peppered with her wry sense of humor. I know I’m missing some other Silicon Valley food blogs, but those were the only good ones that came to mind. But now I have another to add to the list: I=:@>I8=:C96>AN#8DB. The blog is the work of 8JGI>H K6A9:O and BDG<6C HA69:. Valdez was one-half of the cooking duo at the late Seven Restaurant and Lounge, an upscale comfort-food restaurant in San Jose that he ran with his twin brother, Russel. Seven closed last year. Slade is the wine director at La Pastaia in the Hotel De Anza, an Italian restaurant down the street from the late Seven; it was recently purchased by the hotel it occupies. Because their respective restaurants were so close to each other, Slade and Valdez got to know each other professionally and personally. As the local restaurant industry started to falter along with the rest of the economy last year, the two friends started to think about what they might to do stay active and possibly bring in additional income. Thus TheKitchenDaily.com was born. The blog is a recipe site, but it aspires to be different from the many other food blogs in that all the recipes are created and tested in-house. Slade said he didn’t want simply to rehash published recipes but rather to give readers original recipes sourced from South Bay purveyors and tested and prepared by Valdez. In this way, the site could offer the home chef some professional know-how. The site has only been up since May and doesn’t have much depth of content yet, but I like the inclusion of both elaborate and simple recipes. I make good pizza dough, but I want to give their recipe a try. I also want to make the refrigerator pickles. I love pickles. In time, Slade says the site will add more travel features like the write-up of his lunch with Lidia Bastianich in Sausalito. In the meantime, Slade and Valdez’s blog raises the profile of Silicon Valley’s food culture online. “I guess we’re trying to fill a need,” Slade says. “Maybe we’ve stumbled onto something.” Stett Holbrook (Twitter.com/Stett_Holbrook) HVc ?dhZÉh bdhi ViigVXi^kZ ZViZg^Zh! 7ZaaV B^V hZgkZh gZ\^dcVa Y^h]Zh l^i] ÓV^g# ;jaa WVg# *- H# ;^ghi Hi# )%-#'-%#&..(#
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[35]
[36] DINING GUIDE
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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VooDoo V ooDoo Lounge o Lounge St, 14 S. S. Second Second o St, San San Jose Jose 408.286.8636 408 286.8 408.286 8 36 86 Thu â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9pm; 9pm m; $5
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRAURY 2, 2010 CALENDAR
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Postvoid
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JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
“Death-defying Butterflies, foot-juggling Ants, contortionist Spiders, high-bounding Crickets ...” – San Francisco Chronicle
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METROGUIDE
Gjmn Cinequest turns 20 with a full plate of films _47
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Broad Strokes
‘Juicy Paint’ group show at San Jose Museum of Art shows the power of pigment liberally applied By Michael S. Gant
JUICY FRUITS Kpbo!CspxoÖt!pjm!ÕOpfm!bu! uif!Ubcmf!Xjui!b!Mbshf! Cpxm!pg!GsvjuÖ!)2:74*! hmpsjft!jo!uif!nbufsjbm! vtfe!up!dsfbuf!ju/
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AY AREA Beat artist Jay DeFeo worked on her masterpiece, The Rose, for eight years, restlessly applying layer after layer of viscous oil paint, finally achieving a large starburst abstraction that is as much sculpture as it is painting. In some spots, the pigment rises in ridges, like a mountain range, to a thickness of more than 8 inches. According to historian Martha Sherrill, when the painting was restored, conservators “discovered that the thicker areas of paint were quite soft. . . . The Rose had never entirely dried, and wouldn’t for a hundred years.” The Rose represents perhaps the apotheosis of the technique known as impasto. DeFeo, who attended high school in San Jose and took an art class at San Jose State, serves as an unnamed muse for “Juicy Paint,” the new show at the San Jose Museum of Art drawn from the permanent collection. The exhibit features a wide selection of artists who revel in the sensuous physicality of paint
(primarily oils). It is not a criticism to note that these painters take the same pleasure in brushing, scraping and manipulating thick gouts of paint as children do with their finger paints. In Twist (1999), Phe Ruiz, who attended UC–Santa Cruz, applies paint in ultraglobby mounds that are still redolent of turpentine if you lean in closely enough. This large abstraction features passages of roiling red rising from a primordial blackness. A mushrooming burst of blue in the upper left begs to be read as a serene sky presiding over chaotic creation. Sam Tchakalian’s Home in One (1990), a large, horizontally striated field painting, contrasts dry brush strokes with heavier, wetter application of blue and light brown hues, all gently vibrating against an overall wash of turquoise. Also drawing on the energy of pure color and sweeping brush action, James Kelly’s Evolution bursts with surging broad swatches of red mingled with distorted rectangles of white and
yellow. It’s as if the artist’s inner storm had set the canvas on fire. The act of piling up pigment tends to overwhelm the illusionism of narrative and figurative painting, but Joan Brown manages to have her abstraction and eat it too with Noel at the Table With a Large Bowl of Fruit (1963). The sumptuous blobby fruits are barely outlined enough to make out some grapes and a protruding pear, but mostly the brush strokes swirl and flow together, barely suggesting physical objects. Instead of a rigid table, the bowl sits on an expanse of heavily brushed yellows, whites and olives. A small boy, his pinkish face echoed by a backdrop of flesh tones, reaches for permitted fruit. Using acrylics and enamels instead of oil, Sam Gilliam goes the furthest on the spectrum from 2-D painting with layers to flatout sculpture. Deep Pool, Deep Blue Reflections (1987) isn’t just painted, it is encrusted with squishy smears of bright, shiny colors that stick out with the insouciance of cake frosting. Not content to stop there,
Gilliam added some curvilinear and zigzag pieces of metal. Is it a painting with sculptural overtones or a painted sculpture? The piece is wittily supplemented with a display of the rubber boots Gilliam wore while creating Deep Pool; they are bespattered so thickly it’s as if the artist had used them to wade through a neon tar pit. The most compelling piece is Dante (1962) by Karl Kasten, a product of the fertile San Francisco school of abstract expressionism and still going strong at 93. Dante’s dramatic interplay of red, dark green and violet shapes is set in an inky whirl of midnight-blackness. Oozing lines of paint that look squeezed directly from the tube alternate with dry, scraped areas. An intense jagged splurge of yellow gives the painting an internal light source. It is a masterful painting that commands your eye up close and from across the gallery. JUICY PAINT runs through June 6 at the San Jose Museum of Art, 110 S. Market St., San Jose. (408.271.6840)
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JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 STAGE/ART/LIT
UPCOMING EVENTS AT MONTALVO
STAGE REVIEW BVg` @^iVd`V
Great ‘Legs’
[43]
An Evening with Bob James :: Feb 25, 7:30 pm :: $35/30, Members $31/27 Grammy-winning pianist with more than 30 solo albums. Founder of the jazz ensemble Fourplay. “...his many years of dedication to smooth sounds and rhythms have not diminished his inventiveness or his sense of swing...” - Los Angeles Times
Triumphant ‘Daddy Long Legs’ shows how TheatreWorks has found success in taking risks
Acoustic Alchemy :: Feb 28, 7:30 pm :: $35/30, Members $31/27
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HUFFLING toward the exit after Theatreworks’ opening night performance of Daddy Long Legs, I saw the man next to me turn to his wife and say simply: “Their best ever.” Curious, I asked them how long they’ve been going to TheatreWorks productions. Twenty years. Now, granted, that’s only half the time the EMBRACING LIFE !Bt!Kfsvtib-!Nfhbo!NdHjoojt! company has been in existence, as founding jt!cpui!tjodfsf!boe!fyqsfttjwf/ artistic director Robert Kelley is overseeing his 40th TheatreWorks season right now. It certainly seems likely that among those hundreds of productions there are at least a few that would measure up to this production, a world premiere of the musical by Paul Gordon and John Caird, based on the proto-suffragette 1912 novel by Jean Webster. But it seems equally possible that this may be TheatreWorks’ masterpiece. A musical that redefines musicals, a period piece that is relentlessly forward-looking in its staging and orchestration, this is a revolutionary piece of theater, both in content and form. The plot of Webster’s novel may have been original in the early 20th century (though I doubt it), but it needed a major overhaul. It was adapted for film several times, including a silent Mary Pickford version in 1919 and a 1955 vehicle for Fred Astaire. Astaire was said to have loved his version, but if you’ve seen it, forget it, and if you haven’t, don’t. See this instead. What Gordon and Caird have done (Caird also directed this production) is taken the more complex themes hidden in Webster’s archetypal plot and fleshed them out for a modern audience that is far likelier to grasp the emotional and political subtexts of the story. Their story vibrates at a higher frequency, if you will, resonating at so many levels. At its most basic, this is a tale of how one orphan, Jerusha Abbott, is sent to school by an anonymous benefactor, who uses the alias Mr. John Smith, and requires as part of the deal that she must write to him every month, detailing her progress, though she is not to expect any correspondence in return. She catches only a quick glimpse of his shadow at the orphanage once, and seeing that he’s tall and clearly rich, she gives him the nickname “Daddy Long Legs.” She also assumes he’s old and harmless, never suspecting he’s actually the quite young Jervis Pendleton, who is growing increasingly fascinated by her. The story is told almost entirely through her letters, read and sung by both Jerusha and Abbott in an inventive bit of staging that has her in the foreground while he reads in his office above and behind her. Certain plot twists require other stagings, as Jervis plots to meet her without revealing his identity. Webster’s book, interestingly, was considered anti-feminist by many, but Gordon and Caird restore its rightful legacy. They take a deeper look not only at Jerusha’s innocence and budding emotions but also at her insatiable curiosity and growing independence. The first real steps toward women’s rights and radical political identity are reflected in Jerusha’s own internal struggle between accepting the charity of education and personal growth that her benefactor has given her, and the personal pain she could bring to both of them by embracing the life that those gifts allow her to imagine. Of particular note are the incredible music and lyrics by Gordon. These songs are not like anything I’ve heard before in a musical. Catchy and intricate, they have none of the pomp or overblown orchestration that big productions are known for. Instead, they have a contemporary acoustic feel, as if one singer/songwriter’s indie-rock sound has been combined with the spacious, storytelling tradition of Broadway music. Both leads in this two-person setup are excellent, but as much as Robert Adelman Hancock delivers both touching and funny moments as Pendleton, riding an emotional roller coaster as he receives each letter, this production absolutely belongs to Megan McGinnis as Jerusha. Best known as Eponine in the Broadway revival of Les Misérables, she is the key to how Daddy Long Legs joins the traditional musical with a revolutionary new direction. Her singing can be as sincere and simple as a cafe folkie, or as expressive and powerful as a Broadway diva. She has both the authenticity to give a powerful rendering of the personal story and the range to wrap the historical and social context up in her songs. She’s a marvel to experience live, and so is this triumphant example of how TheatreWorks has thrived these last 40 years not by playing it safe, but by challenging and reshaping the very identity of modern theater. Steve Palopoli
DADDY LONG LEGS, a TheatreWorks production, plays Tuesday–Wednesday at 7:30pm, Thursday–Friday at 8pm, Saturday at 2 and 8pm (no matinee Fab. 13) and Sunday at 2 and 7pm (no evening show Feb. 14) through Feb. 14 at the Center for the Performing Arts, 500 Castro St., Mountain View. Tickets are $24–$67. (650.463.1960)
Grammy-nominated British smooth jazz ensemble is a powerhouse force in contemporary jazz. Recognizing Acoustic Alchemy’s outstanding musicianship, All About Jazz writes ...”Redefining the rules is what Acoustic Alchemy does best.”
Ladysmith Black Mambazo :: Mar 10, 7:30 pm :: $50/45, Members $45/40 The legendary South African vocal ensemble, performing for more than 40 years, won a 2009 Grammy for “Ilembe: Honoring Shaka Zulu.” “It isn’t merely the grace and power of their dancing or the beauty of their singing that rivets the attention, but the sheer joy and love that emanates from their being.” - Paul Simon
Women of the Blues: A Tribute to Koko Taylor :: Mar 19, 8 pm :: $32/27, Members $29/24 A tribute to the late Grammy-winning blues genius Koko Taylor presented by J.C. Smith featuring Sista Monica Parker, Pat Wilder & Sharon Lewis.
All events at the Carriage House Theatre
Tickets: Montalvo Box Office 408.961.5858 M-F, 10am-4pm or ticketmaster.com :: montalvoarts.org
JOIN NOW :: montalvoarts.org/membership
[44] STAGE/ART/LIT
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y @Zk^c 7ZgcZ
Arts Panorama 7th annual
Friday, January 29 6:30 PM Le Petit Trianon Theatre & Banquet Hall 72 North 5th Street. downtown San Jose Tickets: $25 at www.svArts.org or 408 251-8440
* wine, hors dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;oeuvre & dessert social * silent auction featuring fascinating & unusual (many one-of-a-kind) art objects, services & enrichment experiences for your winning bid * â&#x20AC;&#x153;best of â&#x20AC;? staged entertainment by Silicon Valley Arts Coalition member organizations with emcee, Susannah Greenwood.
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 STAGE/ART/LIT
STAGE REVIEW
STAGE PREVIEW ?Z[[Zgn 6gX]^WVaY 8gdd`
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The â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Holeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Truth
[45]
Marrying Kind
Palo Alto Players ďŹ nd honesty and humor in the face of death in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Rabbit Holeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;
A novelist gets married for all the wrong reasons in RTEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Right Place, Right Timeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;
ISTRACTION is an effective tool in the hands of playwright David Lindsay-Abaire, whose 2007 Pulitzer Prizeâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;winning Rabbit Hole is now playing at the Lucie Stern Theater. As the Palo Alto Players production opens, we are introduced SEEKING SOLACE!!Cfddb!)Tiboopo!Xbssjdl*! boe!Ipxjf!)Fbsmf!Dbsmtpo*!dpogspou!b!qfstpobm! to a tornado of talk named Izzy (Kate usbhfez!jo!Ă&#x2022;Sbccju!Ipmf/Ă&#x2013; McGrath), who is regaling her sister, Becca (Shannon Warrick), with the story of her recent bar ďŹ ght. We cannot help but be captivated by McGrathâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s high-energy portrayal of this high-strung young woman, who has a terriďŹ c sense of humor (the play is often very funny when Izzy is onstage) and the metabolism of a hummingbird (though slender, Izzy eats almost constantly). Unfortunately, Izzy is no match for the circumstances that life hurls at herâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;in addition to the tussle in the bar, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just lost her job and has gone and gotten herself pregnant. Lindsay-Abaire takes great pains to get all of Izzyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s details right, which is why, at ďŹ rst, we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fully register the minutiae of the laundry Becca is sorting as her kid sister chatters on. Soon enough, though, we notice that Becca is folding a little boyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clothesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;they are the clothes of Beccaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dead 4-year-old son, Danny, who was hit by a car when he ran into the street some eight months before. This sleight-of-handâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;drawing our attention to the sister, whose problems are all surface, in order to ease us into a relationship with Becca, whose heartache is literally buriedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is just one of many touches that keep Rabbit Hole from being more than just a bleak rumination on death. In fact, with its wonderful cast and inspired directing by Marilyn Langbehn, Rabbit Hole is one of the best things Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen from Palo Alto Players in years. A similar sort of distraction is employed when we meet Beccaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s husband, Howie (Earle Carlson). We get so invested in the brave, compassionate-yet-pragmatic face he puts on that we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t consider the possibility that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s suffering just as much as his wife, until we catch him in his late-night habit of watching a video of their child, ďŹ lmed just before Danny died. Beccaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mom Nat (Jackie Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Keefe) is also disarming. In part, Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Keefeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s slightly loopy Nat is here for comic relief, but Natâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got her own backstoryâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;her adult son, Arthur, was a heroin addict who hung himself. Becca, of course, resents her motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clumsy comparisons between Arthurâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death and Dannyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, but she eventually sees that for all their differences, from social class to schooling, she and her mom do share something important that she can learn from, however galling it might be for her to admit. Indeed, the biggest surprise about Rabbit Hole is how hopeful it is. This is especially true when we encounter Jason (Zachary Freier-Harrison), the unlucky teenager whose car crushed poor Danny. He, too, is in need of closure, and his scenes with Warrick are moving, beautifully performed exchanges.
ICHARD LAMPARSKY (Ron Talbot) is a washed-up romance novelist going through a midlife crisis at age 40. There he is at an upscale hotel bar, putting away drinks and waiting for his ex-wife to meet him, which apparently WEDDING MARCHERS!!Bo!bssbohfe! nbssjbhf!sftvmut!jo!dpnjd!sfwfmbujpot! isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t going to happen. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a no-show. In jo!Ă&#x2022;Sjhiu!Qmbdf-!Sjhiu!Ujnf/Ă&#x2013; walks Gloria Winwood (Helena Clarkson), a powerful older woman with her own predicament: her daughterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s groom has bailed on their wedding, and she needs a substitute. Thus, Lia Romeoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Right Place, Right Time, a world premiere at Renegade Theatre Experiment, begins aptly with two folks in the right place at the right time. Unfortunately, we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hear enough from the bartender. What follows, though, is a wonderful circus of twists, turns and unexpected relationships. Lamparsky goes upstairs with Gloria to meet her daughter, Stephanie (Elisa Valentine), a rich, bratty and powerful babe who needs to get married for all the wrong reasons. To Lamparskyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s delight, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heard of him. Whoa! Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actually read his romance novels. Being a washed-up novelist, that fact gives him conďŹ dence with the opposite sex. What a concept. Thus, they get married. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weddings are all about the bride,â&#x20AC;? Stephanie says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The groom is just another accessory.â&#x20AC;? Stephanieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s original husband-to-be, Mark (Keith Marshall), who ditched her at the wedding, eventually returns from a jaunt with prostitutes in Vegas. He proves to be exactly what one would expect: a brainless jock who absolutely deserves the materialistic prima donna Stephanie in the ďŹ rst place. The rest of the story, thankfully, revels in the unexpected. Relationships are suddenly rekindled. And then nulliďŹ ed. And then again. The four main contenders argue with each another in tag-team fashion, resulting in a gritty and grinning exploration of false love, superďŹ cial relationships, materialism, adultery and bad bloody Marys. Richardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ex-wife, Linda (Blythe Murphy), also eventually rolls in and provides the only voice of reason in the entire circus. I would like to have seen her and Gloria in a steelcage match. That would have been a ďŹ ne spectacle. In fact, the playâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s episodic development almost perfectly resembles the script for a professional wrestling bout. The sensitive romance novelist battles the immature meathead. The two strong women, mother and daughter, battle over the two guys in more ways than one. Everyone interferes with everyone else and the only thing missing is the bartender leaping off the top rope with a foreign object. Again, I would like to have seen more of him, because it seems like none of the characters knew how to drink.
D
Ben Marks RABBIT HOLE, a Palo Alto Players production, plays Thursdayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Saturday at 8pm and Sunday at 2:30pm through Feb. 7 at Lucie Stern Theater, 1305 MiddleďŹ eld Road, Palo Alto. Tickets are $20â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$30. (650.329.0891) d[ Xjii^c\"ZY\Z! ]VcYh"dc Zm]^W^ih VWdji \ZcZi^Xh! i]Z ]jbVc WdYn! bZY^X^cZ! gdWdih! k^gijVa YZh^\c! b^XgdX]^eh! :Vgi]! i]Z jc^kZghZ VcY bdgZ# Bdc" LZY! .Vb"*eb VcY I]j"Hjc! .Vb"-eb# '%& H# BVg`Zi Hi! HVc ?dhZ! )%-#'.)#I:8=#
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Gary Singh RIGHT PLACE, RIGHT TIME, a Renegade Theatre Experiment production, plays Thursdayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Saturday at 8pm and Sunday at 2pm through Feb. 6 at the Historic Hoover Theater, 1635 Park Ave., San Jose. Tickets are $15â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$23. (408.493.0783) bdaZXjaZh# Dc\d^c\# Bdc";g^! .Vb")eb# :Y^hdc IZX]cdad\n EVg`! (*&*7 :Y^hdc LVn! BZcad EVg`! +*%#))%#%%-)#
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[46] STAGE/ART/LIT
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
STAGE REVIEW 8VgV <VgYcZg
Teachable Play
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T HELPS to know going in to see Dead Man Walking at City Lights Theatre Company that the play has a very speciďŹ c point of view to get across. Written by Tim Robbins as â&#x20AC;&#x153;a study into the national discourse on the death penaltyâ&#x20AC;? THE LAST MILE Uipnbt!Hpssfcffdl!qmbzt!b! dpoefnofe!qsjtpofs!jo!Ă&#x2022;Efbe!Nbo!Xbmljoh/Ă&#x2013; in the United States (and why it should be abolished), the script is often heavyhanded. More than a drama, the play has been positioned as a learning opportunity for students as part of the Dead Man Walking School Theatre Project. Much of City Lightsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; production, done in collaboration with Notre Dame High School, is very good and just as powerful as the book and ďŹ lm that preceded it. Robbinsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; script charges hotly at the audience from a clear moral standpoint, leaving very little room for differing opinions. The play tells the story of Sister Helen Prejean (Lisa Mallette), a nun who acts as spiritual adviser to Matthew Poncelet, a condemned man on death row at Angola State Prison in Louisiana. She warily embarks on a mission to save his soul before his time runs out. Thomas Gorrebeeck plays a compelling and rugged Poncelet, though his naturally babyfaced good looks sometimes work against him. As Sister Prejean, Mallette exudes a matronly warmth. The minor players are really what anchor the show. Karen DeHart, as Lucille Poncelet, Matthewâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mother, uses a less-is-more approach that pays off big time, resulting in an understated and convincingly heartbreaking performance. Lonnique Genelle, as Helenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tutoring student Ginnie, also shines, playing an underprivileged urban youth without going overboard or indulging in stereotypes. The production incorporates projectors and video screens, not always to good effect. At the back of the set (suggesting the prison with nothing more than some bars), very literal translations of themes in the script are shown: crosses, crying people and low-quality stock photos materialize at busy moments onstage. They distract from parts of the story that might otherwise have a greater impact. Just when Dead Man Walking starts to gather steam, it dissipates its own narrative force. The palpable tension and panic that build up as Ponceletâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s execution grows near unravel at the end, when the entire cast recites the Lordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Prayer in unison, and Prejean, who has been interjecting her own thoughts in ďŹ rstperson throughout the show, delivers a direct monologue to the audience, covering all the important points we were supposed to have absorbed, just in case we missed them. Blame it on Tim Robbins, who, despite his best intentions, ends up just preaching by weighing down the story with a one-sided moral message. Jody Amable DEAD MAN WALKING, a City Lights Theater Company production, plays Thursdayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Saturday at 8pm and Sunday at 7pm (Jan. 31 and Feb. 7) or 2pm (Feb. 14 and 21) at City Lights, 529 S. Second St., San Jose. Tickets are $25â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$40. (408.295.4200) SISTER HELEN PREJEAN will speak at a Death Penalty Awareness BeneďŹ t on Friday (Jan. 29) at 4:30pm at Notre Dame High School, 596 S. Second St., San Jose. The event includes a dinner and performance. Tickets are $100 and up. Call 408.295.4200 for details.
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Shel Game Dragon Theatre gets twisted with Silversteinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s adult plays
â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Dead Man Walkingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; at City Lights takes a strong stand on the death penalty
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T IS a little too easy to be shocked by Shel Silversteinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plays. As is apparent just minutes into Dragon Theatreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s An Adult Evening of Shel Silverstein, they are outrageous, ghoulish and full of dark, crude and sexual humor. For easily offended fans of Silversteinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s works, such as Where the Sidewalk Ends and The Giving Tree, it may be too much. But for most of us who loved his stuff as a kid, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a chance to see TWISTED TALES!!Esbhpo!Uifbusf!vodpwfst! his genius in a totally different context and uif!ijeefo!tjef!pg!Tifm!Tjmwfstufjo!jo!bo!! fwfojoh!pg!ijt!bevmu!qmbzt/ just conďŹ rms what a lot of us suspected all along: the dude is twisted. When it comes down to it, these scenarios, despite their landscape of homicidal intent, paranoia, shifting identities, violence, sex and occasional foul language, deliver exactly what we expect from Shel Silverstein: imaginative ďŹ&#x201A;ights of fancy, sharp wordplay and a unique way of looking at everyday situations. They are also, to embrace the spirit of the work, goddamn fucking hilarious. Director Kathleen Normington, who recently ďŹ nished an engrossing production of Neil LaButeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Shape of Things for Renegade Theatre Experiment, scores again with these 10 rapid-ďŹ re sketches drawn from two Silverstein collections. When the setups start with a young girl being presented with an insane birthday present in â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Best Daddyâ&#x20AC;? and then move on to a hostage situation intended to punish the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most insidious cultural criminal, you know youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve stumbled on something weird and wonderful. Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most surprising, maybe, is how close some of these Silverstein pieces are to Monty Python territory, with characters arguing over uproariously absurd premises. You almost expect someone to wander in at some point with an ex-parrot. The cast is fabulous; they can shine in frantic, big moments, in one piece, and then selďŹ&#x201A;essly step into a bit role and let their co-stars have the ďŹ&#x201A;oor in the next. Normington has brought Caitlin Dissinger over from her previous role as Jenny in The Shape of Things, and sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s excellent once again. Her ability to play innocence with a hidden dark edge that always ďŹ nds a way to surface helps her careen through two of the most extraordinary pieces, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Best Daddyâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Lifeboat Is Sinking,â&#x20AC;? where she drags her husband (played by Norman Luce) through one â&#x20AC;&#x153;bedroom experienceâ&#x20AC;? heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never forget. Luce has a Bob Odenkirkâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;like Everyman quality that reminded me how much the humor here is like that mined by Mr. Show. He and the versatile Claire Slattery turn the ďŹ nale into something as disturbing and haunting as it is funny. Meanwhile, the most laughs per minute come from Slattery and Joey Sandinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Buy One, Get One Free,â&#x20AC;? in which they play prostitutes with the most bizarre marketing campaign ever. The two other cast members, William J. Brown III and Drew Jones, are like the glue that hold the whole thing togetherâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;with their expressive faces and physical humor, they bounce through various pieces with the same childlike, unpredictable energy that deďŹ nes Silversteinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work. Steve Palopoli AN ADULT EVENING OF SHEL SILVERSTEIN, a Dragon Theatre production, plays Thursdayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Saturday at 8pm and Sunday at 2pm through Feb. 14 at Dragon Theatre, 535 Alma St., Palo Alto. Tickets are $20â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$25. (800.838.3006) [dg ^c[dgbVi^dc VWdji di]Zg XVbejh Vgi idjgh# LZY! 'eb! HVi! &&/(%Vb VcY Hjc! (eb# ;gZZ# 8Vcidg 6gih 8ZciZg! EVab 9g^kZ VcY BjhZjb LVn! HiVc[dgY Jc^kZgh^in! +*%#,'(#)&,,#
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 FILM
METROGUIDE
[47]
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Cinequest’s Score
The film festival turns 20 with a bulging menu of features and documentaries from around the cinema world
By Richard von Busack
T
HE WORLD pours into San Jose Feb. 23–March 7. For 20 years now, Cinequest has made our area a destination for filmmakers and film fans, and this anniversary year sees an increase in the scope of the festival. By now, Cinequest is both a summit meeting for international and indie films and a festival that successfully foretold the way digital film would provide new possibilities for the aesthetics and distribution of films. Local filmmakers displaying their works include Jarrod Whaley with Hell Is Other People and the new film by Alejandro (Canary) Adams, Babnik, a feature about the flesh trade in illegal immigrants. Paul Crowder (the editor of Riding Giants) brings his documentary The Real Revolutionaries about Fairchild Semiconductors and the roots of the Silicon Valley. There will be a work-in-progress screening of the SJSU/Barnaby Dallas–made Superhero Party Clown. The brothers Peter and Benjamin Bratt will show their 2009 Sundance film La Mission, shot in San Francisco. It deals with a double subject of an ex-con’s rehabilitation and a son’s rebellion. Star Benjamin Bratt will be on hand to accept the Maverick Spirit Award. Says Cinequest co-founder Halfdan Hussey: “La Mission is not a new subject to me, but I think they’ve given it a fresh approach. It’s a beautifully done movie.” As always, Cinequest boasts a hefty international component. Paprika Steen is superb in the intense, post-
Dogme Applause, concerning a furious Danish actress playing Martha in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? while dealing with her booze problem and her love for her ex-kids. The Quebecois revenge/horror film Seven Days, fresh from Sundance, concerns a weeklong torture sequence—a little gift for the gorehounds. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is the Swedish adaptation of Steig Larsson’s mystery novel phenomenon, inevitably in development for an American remake. Returning after 20 years to Cinequest: ultra-avant-garde filmmaker Jon Jost, who has been teaching film in Korea lately. Also, we get the local debut of a new film, Wild Grass, by Alain Resnais of Hiroshima Mon Amour fame; Shana Feste’s The Greatest, with Pierce Brosnan; a Chinese martial arts film The Robbers; and Paulisa, a Brazilian offering about a budding actress. Cinequest’s always-strong documentary side includes features on military catering (Cooking History), the situation in embattled Baja (The Tijuana Project) and photographer Bert Stern (Becoming Bert Stern), who took the last Marilyn Monroe sessions. Dancer and actress Nancy Kwan is the subject of one new documentary. As always, there will be a couple of classic silent films at the majestic California Theatre: Ernst Lubitsch’s 1927 The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg and Erich von Stroheim’s famously extravagant and costly The Merry Widow (1925). Recalling the festival’s two-decade history, Hussey says, “It was a quick
20 years. The last decade has just been great for us. It took a long time to build the core audience. Then, about year seven and eight, we gained international recognition and a larger level of corporate and local sponsorship.” Hussey praises Cinequest’s 1999, a white-knuckle year, as another breakthrough: “We had 700 volunteers. And even with the economy down, we had such a loyal outpouring of help. When we’d lose one sponsor, we’d get two new ones.” Rather than just consider the past, Hussey is eager to turn his attention to the future. “In February,” he says, “we’re formally announcing Cinequest Maverick Studio, an LLC to produce, distribute and market Alist movies, TV and new media. It’s all separate from the nonprofit festival.” Cinequest Maverick Studio won’t be an old-fashioned movie lot: “It’s going to be more the contemporary style of studio; we’ll have partners with local warehouses and soundstages, and we’ll be shooting in Northern California as well as in L.A. and other locations.” During the now-famous seminars, topics like screenwriting and the future of 3-D will be touched upon, as will the migration of film to online exposure. “The question is, as always, how do we monetize the film?” Hussey says. “DVD sales are flatlining, and independent films have even less sales. Everybody’s trying to figure out what’s going to be done.” On hand for Cinequest are the Olson brothers of the popular online series Mobijokes. According to Hussey,
“They’ve been doing their art and making a career out of it. They’ll come here to show filmmakers how to keep their costs low and their quality high.” The extra day at this year’s festival allows for a final round of audience favorites and a culminating Oscar party. As this new division of Cinequest develops for-profit films, the nonprofit end tries to seek out new mavericks worldwide. Hussey says, “What we’re equally excited about is something Cinequest’s Kathleen Powell and Stephanie Lee are working on. It’s called ‘Picture the Possibilities,’ a nonprofit, global youth initiative taking place in five United States and five international cities; places like East Palo Alto, Detroit, Shanghai and Mexico City. It’s not going to be a film camp but a way of teaching the young people how to use the tools of film.” Cinequest hopes to use satellite broadcasting and the Internet to connect young filmmakers and mentors. “In fall, we’re planning a world premiere of these films,” Hussey explains, “and we’re also planning to bring these films to leaders who can implement the changes students are asking for: they could be something as simple as combating illiteracy or acquiring clean water.” What started as a cultural festival for cinéastes, then, is seeking ways not to reflect reality but to shape it. CINEQUEST runs Feb 23–March 7, in downtown San Jose. See www.cine quest.org for schedule details. (Metro is a sponsor of Cinequest.)
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[48]
FILM JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
FILM REVIEW
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Reviews by Michael S. Gant and Richard von Busack.
New Creation (PG-13; 108 min.) See review at left. Edge of Darkness (R; 117 min.) Mel Gibson goes looking for his daughterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s killers and gets really, really mad. Co-stars Ray Winstone and Danny Huston. (Opens Jan 29.) Extraordinary Measures (PG; 105 min.) See review on page 49.
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Mad Scientist â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Creationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; sends mixed message about the man who showed how evolution works
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AKE THE BEARD off Karl Marx, and what you see is a romantic poet, wrote historian A.J.P. Taylor. The same idea informs director Jon Amielâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take on Charles Darwin in Creation. Without the crescentshaped beard, Darwin (Paul Bettany) is not just a romantic but also a quivering neurotic. The script by John Collee shows us Darwin in the period leading up to the publishing of On the Origin of Species. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a nervous wreck, tormented by the declining health of his beloved daughter Annie (Martha West) and unable to confront his religious wife, Emma (Jennifer Connelly), about his scientiďŹ c ďŹ ndings. Creation is unstuck in time; we have to judge the hairline on Bettanyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s toupees to tell us where we are in the tale. The ďŹ lm uses the Ken Russell approach to this scientist; heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a haunted man in an unholy racket, killing legions of pigeons to examine their skeletons. Darwinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s health was supposedly very bad, although watching Creation is like watching House M.D.: Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not lupus, is it? Was it all psychosomatic illness, a literal fear and trembling of a scientist assaulting the majesty of God? One listens to Darwinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s noble prose on the soundtrack and tries to link it to the nighâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;grand mal seizure weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re watching: the hallucinations of dead Galapagos ďŹ nches coming to life and breaking out of their bell jar and scorpions scuttling to life. To treat himself, Darwin erects a water tower and sits under cascades of cold water, which are far less chilly than the stares Emma gives him as she rumbles on her piano. She has her views. So does Jeremy Northam as the bigoted village vicar; heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the reactionary equivalent of Toby Jonesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Thomas Huxley, sneering and gloating over the death of God. Here, then, is one of those biopics that make you want to run straight out of the theater and go ďŹ nd a good book on the subject. One thing you can judge about Darwin, even without a book handy, is that he wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t working in an utter vacuum. If you take this movie at face value, Darwin never heard of Mendel and was shocked at the fact that poultry will inbreed, though everyone who has raised chickens knows this. He apparently had never listened to Hamlet giving a ďŹ ne one-sentence description of the food chain (Act 4, Scene 3); in the form of time-lapse photography, Bettanyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Darwin imagines the bird feeding on the worm and then the worm feeding on the bird, as if he had discovered that notion along with evolution. The scriptâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s anachronism (â&#x20AC;&#x153;We need to talk,â&#x20AC;? Darwin tells his wife) further draws you out. As The New Yorkerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Anthony Lane noted, Creationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s showstopper is a performance by a beautiful young orangutan. Martha West is almost as touchingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a high bar to reachâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but her role as a smiling yet sinister daughter is the movieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s highlight. West is going places. Creation tries to remind us of the price Darwin paid for his genius, but here is a father of evolution ďŹ t to please any smooth religious sadist; they can look and say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We always told you Darwin was insane.â&#x20AC;? Richard von Busack CREATION (PG-13; 108 min.), directed by Jon Amiel, written by John Collee, based on the book by Randal Keynes, photographed by Jess Hall and starring Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly, opens Jan. 29. (Keep up with Richardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reviews at MovieTimes.com.)
When in Rome (PG-13) A romantic comedy with Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel. (Opens Jan 29.)
Revivals
Reviews
Niles Film Museum Regularly scheduled programs of silent ďŹ lms. Jan 30: The Social Secretary (1916). Norma Talmadge as a secretary who decides to uglify herself after sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been hit on one too many times. Erich von Stroheim co-stars as newspaper columnist Adam Buzzard. Billed with When a Count Counted (1912) with Mignon Anderson, and the cliffhanger parody Curses (1925) with Al St. John, here directed by his uncle Roscoe â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fattyâ&#x20AC;? Arbuckle. Despite the aristo name, St. John was a perennial hick comic for Mack Sennett; in later years, he took the name â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fuzzyâ&#x20AC;? St. John and played cracked old prospectors and sourdough sidekicks. Judy Rosenberg at the piano. (Plays Jan 30 at 7:30 in Fremont at the Edison Theater, 37417 Niles Blvd.) (RvB)
Avatar (PG-13; 162 min.) A victory for people who insist that science ďŹ ction has to be dumb. In the future, Earthling mercenaries are shipped to the planet Pandora, where 9-foottall, blue-skinned noble savages called Naâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;vi live in a phosphorescent forest full of saurian beasts. Jake (Sam Worthington) is the paraplegic brother of a dead soldier hooked up to a Naâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;vi shell; the program is under the direction of a chain-smoking biologist (Sigourney Weaver). While it is a maxim of screenwriting that the plot ought to be the longest distance between two points, James Cameronâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s terrible script for this putative end-of-the-decade experience really overworks the principle. The politics play it both ways; letting us swoon over the military hardware and still lament for the plundered forests. After an hour, the drugs wear off, and the appeal of synthespianism starts to drag; motion capture isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exactly motion release (compare the synthetic Weaver to the real thing), and the cobbled-together story of eco-rebellion isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be eclipsed by the visuals. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to see it anyway, see it in 3-D. (RvB)
Noir City See preview on page 50.
The Book of Eli (R; 118 min.) Denzel Washington stars as the usual wanderer on the usual postapocalyptic wastes. The Hughes brothersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Bible-ďŹ&#x201A;ogging apocalypso could be read as a Western, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a monomaniacal one. Washington underplays the part of a soft-spoken drifter who deals with a vicious yet zany town boss (Gary Oldman). The ďŹ lm is blessed with actors (Tom Waits, Michael Gambon and a probably synthesized but touching Mr. Bigglesworth cat), but the movie has this pious streak that canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be overcome. Scriptwriter Gary Whitta, as in the IMDb sentence, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gary Whitta was editor of PC Gamer for several years,â&#x20AC;? seems to have retroďŹ tted this ďŹ lm from a video game. In the end, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to overlook the arbitrariness of what survives (sunglasses, high-powered ammo, Hummers, lingerie, cicadas, the Transamerica Pyramid) over what doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t (common sense, humansâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; unique ability to invent and band together). (RvB) Broken Embraces (R; 127 min.) A sleek, twisty mystery, illuminated by the stunning PenĂŠlope Cruz, the new Pedro AlmodĂłvar is also a sprawler. The James M. Cainâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;style plot involves a blind ďŹ lm director from Madrid (LuĂs Homar). After losing his sight, the ďŹ lmmaker took the ballsy new name â&#x20AC;&#x153;Harry Caineâ&#x20AC;? and became a writer. News of the death of a corrupt tycoon sends Caine back to confront unďŹ nished businessâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;to retrieve the moment 16 years previously where he lost both love and sight. The dead tycoo n in question, a cuckolded millionaire named Ernesto Martel (JosĂŠ Luis GĂłmez), unwillingly shared the love of Caineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life. Lena, known as Magdalena, was an actress, secretary and part-time prostitute who took as her working-girl name Severine. She, of course, is played by Cruz. No one but AlmodĂłvar knows how to make Cruz really fascinating. She acts out a regular scene we used to see in â&#x20AC;&#x2122;60s movies, an auditioning actress trying on wigs. We see this womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s modes of glamour. Here are the curves of Sophia Loren, the frailty of Audrey Hepburn. Capped with a tousled platinum wig, Cruz evinces something of Lana Turner in her mankiller parts. The spirits summoned up here arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t travestied; theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re worshipped. Do we feel for Lena? The ďŹ lm is all a bit too stylized for that. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s such an imago itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to think of her as a character, despite the moments of love, anger and regret that Cruz acts out. (RvB) Crazy Heart (R; 111 min.) Jeff Bridges is the draw in Scott Cooperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s typical softball Sundancian exercise. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a belly-baring role for this terriďŹ c actor, playing Bad Blake, a morose satyr of an outlaw musician. He travels via an ancient 1978 Chevy Suburban and
M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 FILM
Daybreakers (R; 98 min.) This very interesting, filmedin-Australia vampire movie provides some ingenious new angles on the old myths. The directors, the Spierig brothers, come up with something unexpected: elements of Malthus and peak oil, and a satire of militarism. In 2019, a vampire plague has left most of the human race devoured. The soldiers are hunting the remaining humans for food. Hungry vampires feeding on each other or their own blood soon devolve into batlike horrors; the vampiric but soulful Dalton (Ethan Hawke) is working ceaselessly on a cure under the direction of evil tycoon (Sam Neill). It turns out that at least one vampire has found a cure on his own: Willem Dafoe (very good and looking a little bit like Charles Manson) plays an auto mechanic who calls himself “Elvis,” and who proclaims a particularly noble quote by the King on the likeness of truth and the rising sun. In addition to the evolved politics of this thriller, the Spierigs come up with the capacious blood sprays that’ll keep the core audience contented. (RvB) An Education (PG-13; 95 min.) Lone Scherfig’s British coming-of-age film ends with a marathon session of tea brewing, but it has its good points. The look is cool—1960ish England may be more interesting than the full-blown and overexposed later ’60s. Twickenhamraised Jenny (Carey Mulligan) is studying for Oxford when she gets picked up by David (Peter Sarsgaard), a slightly older rotter; his slightly cruel eyes and flat smile forecast trouble to come. Until then, Jenny gets to see London highlife and nightclubs, and voyages to Paris. Smelling class, and wanting to make their hard-working daughter happy, Jenny’s parents (Cara Seymour, Alfred Molina) relax the leash. And that’s when the young girl learns how David makes his money without working days. No one in the movie apparently saw one of those melodramas about the wealthy seducer who steals a poor but honest girl; letting that matter aside, Mulligan is charming, the meet-cute is deft and Olivia Williams bears all the movie’s
spine as a deliberately drabbed-down English teacher. Nick Hornby’s screenplay, from Lynn Barber’s memoir, might have meant he had input on the film’s excellent pre– Swinging London soundtrack. Singer Beth Rowley steals the show as the breathy canary at one nightspot. (RvB) The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (PG-13; 122 min.) For Terry Gilliam, Don Quixote is still the ur-text. Despite the various stops and starts he has had adapting the Cervantes classic, Gilliam repeatedly makes films about fantasy as an escape from a cruel world. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, a very personal and not-so-coherent fantasy, has Christopher Plummer in the Man of la Mancha role this time, with Verne Troyer as Percy, a dwarf Sancho Panza. Plummer plays Doctor Parnassus, an immortal sage reduced to busking in a horse-drawn Gypsy wagon. He and his crew set up their stand in the streets of modern-day London at its vilest, trying to lure patrons into a world beyond
the doctor’s mirror. On board is his daughter, who doesn’t know that she has been promised to the devil on her 16th birthday; Mr. Nick (Tom Waits) is sniffing around already. During their travels, the group rescues a hanged man named Tony (an irresolute Heath Ledger). Certainly, Gilliam’s love for antique theater is true—although the greasepaint and cardboard make one wonder why he didn’t stage this story instead of filming it. The autobiographical angle is plain regarding the showman’s heartbreak— begging for money and coaxing an audience. We can understand why it’s hard for Gilliam when we see his vision of what the audience really is: rich matinee dames; wide-mouthed tarts coming out of a pub; a scurvy, violent little brat with a Game Boy. (RvB) Legion (R; 100 min.) Paul Bettany, Lucas Black and Tyrese Gibson star in a futuristic thriller about human survival. It takes place in a diner.
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[49]
FILM REVIEW
BARROOM DIAGNOSIS Csfoebo!Gbtfs!boe!Ibssjtpo!Gpse! ejtdvtt!ifbmui.dbsf!sfgpsn!jo!ÕFyusbpsejobsz!Nfbtvsft/Ö
Dr. Nope A crusty doctor meets a sensitive dad in search of a cure in ‘Extraordinary Measures’
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WO OF the children of an Oregon businessman are doomed to die of a hereditary syndrome called Pompe’s Disease. Fearlessly, the father quits his job and starts a new career financing the development of an experimental drug to keep his kids alive. At this point, at least, Extraordinary Measures is a true story. Despite the title, this fairly ordinary film heads into what seems like fictionalization early on. The search for an experimental drug means recruiting an unappreciated researcher on the subject: crusty Cornhusker Dr. Robert Stonehill (Harrison Ford), the T-shirt-and-Leviswearing, pickup-truck-driving kind of physician they customarily build medical shows around. Then comes the conflict: Stonehill, as per his indomitable name, goes up against the internally bleeding family man, John Crowley (Brendan Fraser), who knows how to wear a suit and beat the bushes for money. At various times, both men are fighting with one of the executives in a firm that buys their startup: Jared Harris, with an uncertain American accent. Harris has to lead one of those embarrassing I-don’t-like-you-and-you-don’t-like-me scenes that litter TV. The way the line actually goes is “I may be a tight-ass company man, but I resent being called heartless.” The line is a core sample of the work of writer Robert Nelson Jacobs, amping up the conflict. The really talented cinematographer deserves praise. Andrew Dunn (Hitch, Precious) deals well with the overcast, uncooperative light of Portland and the Pacific Northwest. Dunn turns down the greens in the flesh tones even in a tricky shoot at the seaside: there are reasons why they never made Beach Party movies in Oregon. Dunn also provides one startling image, a bright, bug-light-yellow corridor outside a laboratory, adding to the feeling of unease we already have hanging around these biotech offices. Considering the TVlike stylings of director Tom Vaughan (What Happens in Vegas), I’m going to guess that it was Dunn who had the intelligent idea for the mouse-eye view of Fraser across the room, weeping alone in an empty office. Ford’s performance is funny at first and then becomes a one-note sonata. He bellows, “Get the hell out of my lab,” more than once. Ford is headed for curmudgeonness; if he shaves his head, he’ll be able to play Dick Cheney. Fraser is, like Ford, a good actor caught in the mangle of franchisemaking machinery. One never loses faith in Fraser, but he needs to look for tougher material to go with his new fleshiness: a sharp bastard, a crooked sheriff. The real romance is between the two men. In the background are the ladies: Meredith Droeger relentlessly working some wheelchair-bound precociousness, and Keri Russell as the mom, subdued halfway to death. Extraordinary Measures isn’t about medicine or sick kids. Rather, it’s about something far more intriguing to an audience: capital. Too bad the film is so often just telethon-grade hooey. As a drama, Extraordinary Measures is bad feel-good, but it may be more interesting in 30 years as a relic of the age of healing for profit—to see the waste, the expense and the self-justifications. Richard von Busack EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES (PG; 105 min.), directed by Tom Vaughan, written by Robert Nelson Jacobs, based on the book by Geeta Arnand, photographed by Andrew Dunn and starring Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser, plays valleywide.
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slaps together sets with pickup bands. In his few sober moments, Blake lives with the humiliation of having been commercially surpassed by a country superstar named Billy Sweet (Colin Farrell), who was once one of his backup musicians. Touring in Santa Fe, Bad meets a newspaper reporter named Jean (Maggie Gyllenhaal), who lets Bad pick her up. Despite the credited input by T-Bone Burnett, none of the tunes are really memorable, but you sink into them anyway, and the encircling camera gives the scenes some rhythm. What integrity Crazy Heart doesn’t borrow from Bridges it picks up from the glorious wide-open-spaces cinematography by Barry Markowitz (Sling Blade). (RvB)
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FILM JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
FILM REVIEW
GLORIA IN EXCELIS Hmpsjb!Hsbibnf!boe!Hmfoo!Gpse!bsf!! gbubmmz!buusbdufe!up!fbdi!puifs!jo!Gsju{!MbohĂ&#x2013;t!Ă&#x2022;Ivnbo!Eftjsf/Ă&#x2013;
Noir Notes Noir Festival ďŹ nishes with rarities
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O FAR the discovery at this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ďŹ lm noir fest was 1951â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 8GN 96C<:G last weekend. This still-not-on DVD noir revealed one of the best imitations of Raymond Chandlerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blend of harsh sunlight and acrid wisecracks. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a comedy disguised in fedora and trench coat: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Powell on the prowl!â&#x20AC;? promised the advertisements, as Dick Powell tries to ďŹ nd the person who framed him; meanwhile his smooth buddy, a one-legged Marine (Richard Erdman), seeks alcoholic solace on all sides. (â&#x20AC;&#x153;When you drink as much as I do, you have to start early in the morning.â&#x20AC;?) It is clearly the longlost twin of Powellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Murder My Sweet; for that matter, Edward Dmytrykâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife of some 50 years Jean Porter plays a light-ďŹ ngered trailer-park trollop. As for this week: Jan. 27: DC: <>GAĂ&#x2030;H 8DC;:HH>DC (1953), with economy-class tart Cleo Moore. It shows with LDB:CĂ&#x2030;H EG>HDC (1955), again with Moore plus Ida Lupino. Jan. 28 has G:9 A><=I$L6A@ 6 8GDD@:9 B>A: (1949/1948), two San Franciscoâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;set noirs. The latter is an FBI procedural with a Cold War theme. Dennis Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Keefe and Louis Hayward play the good guys in pursuit of some Commie rats (including a young Raymond Burr with a Mephistophelean beard) who have been stealing atomic secrets printed in invisible ink on womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s handkerchiefs. Given how many glaring clues the agents overlook, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a wonder we werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t all speaking Russian by 1950; the best parts are some evocative location shots of Victorian boarding houses near Octavia Street. Jan. 29: HA6II:GNĂ&#x2030;H =JGG>86C:$E>8@JE DC HDJI= HIG::I (1949/1953) is a double dose of grinning demon Richard Widmark. Of Pickup, nothing needs to be added: itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a renowned jewel of ďŹ lm noir. The ďŹ rst is more of a ďŹ&#x201A;yboy epic with rip-roaring direction by Andre de Toth. Widmark plays the private pilot of a Florida candy baron, who seems to be importing some kind of contraband sugar. But Widmarkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s buddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wife (the humid Linda Darnell) is a sweeter temptation. Jan. 30: ďŹ rst the matinee, >CH>9: ?D7$6GBDG:9 86G GD77:GN (1946/1950). The former is a must-miss, despite the cushy Ann Rutherford and the elements likely brought in by credited co-scriptwriter Tod Browning. A man who has the job of playing a living mannequin in a department store window decides to rob the store. 6GBDG:9 86G GD77:GN is the goods, however, a rough, tough policier. Saturday nightsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t-miss combo: Fritz Langâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not-on-DVD =JB6C 9:H>G: (1954) and D99H 6<6>CHI IDBDGGDL (1959). The former (an Americanized remake of Jean Renoirâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Le Bete Humaine) is one of Fritz Langâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s masterpieces. Gloria Grahame, at her sultriest, and railroad worker Glenn Ford conspire to murder Grahameâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brutish husband, Broderick Crawford. In Odds, Harry Belafonte works on a bank job with a racist Robert Ryan. Remarkable New York City streetscapes and Grahame and Shelly Winters as hard-luck girls. Jan. 31: :H86E: >C I=: ;D<, an obscure 1945 San Franciscoâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;set thriller by Budd Boetticher, with Nina Foch as a prophetic dreamer. The initial setup with Foch lost in the swirling fog on the Golden Gate Bridge witnessing a murder in the future is worthy of Cornell Woolrich. Unfortunately, the ďŹ lm turns into a minor spy caper. It plays with 6 EA68: >C I=: HJC (1951), starring Montgomery Clift and Elizabeth Taylor. Richard von Busack/Michael S. Gant
).
The Lovely Bones (PG-13; 135 min.) In Pennsylvania in the early 1970s,14-year-old Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) is lured into an underground lair and raped and murdered by a neighbor. From the antechamber to heaven, Susie watches what else happens to her family in the years that come. What keeps Susie from moving on, it seems, is her murderer. He has killed before and may kill again: an element of vigilantism keeps Peter Jacksonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s animation-gilded fantasy from looking too much like the cover of a Jehovahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Witness pamphlet about heaven. Alice Seboldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book was a success because it played into a favorite adolescent daydream: â&#x20AC;&#x153;If I were dead, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be sorry.â&#x20AC;? First-rate production design makes this surpass The Ice Storm as the ultimate dense â&#x20AC;&#x2122;70s visual time capsule. The most satisfying moments come in the too-orderly lair of the maniac (a dreadfully miscast Stanley Tucci). Not much help from Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz as the parents; barn-door broad yet somehow welcome moments of comedy relief are provided by Susan Sarandon. Ronan is an effectively macabre staring angel, but sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not quite the bookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mousy, nerdish girl turned into a master of a universe. (RvB)
Nine (PG-13, 115 min.) Federico Felliniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 8 1/2 (1963) is boiled down to a musical series of celebs in pushup bras. An Italian ďŹ lm director, Guido (Daniel Day-Lewis), has announced an ambitious new ďŹ lm project. But Guido has no idea what the ďŹ lm is going to be, and the time to start shooting is coming up. Director Rob Marshall (Chicago) has calmed the camerawork downâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s previously been an addict of fast cutting to make a group of mostly nonsingers and nondancers to look like lightfooted showstoppers. But only Marion Cotillard, as Guidoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s much-spurned wife, delivers a number that leaves an aftereffect. As Guidoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mistress, PenĂŠlope Cruz is edible (if slightly self-conscious) sliding down a satin banister. Nicole Kidman is the pedestal girl, inserted into a strapless evening gown that makes her look like a single arrow in a quiver. Kate Hudson is the Yank journalist who only pays attention to the surfaces of Italian ďŹ lmâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;something else that can be said against this movie. What we see in Nine is not an artist in peril of his soul; what weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re really seeing in these musical fantasies is essentially the problems of a creatively blocked choreographer. (RvB) Sherlock Holmes (PG-13; 128 min.) There are moments during Sherlock Holmes when you wish you
could hit director Guy Ritchie with his own storyboard; there are bone-crushing ďŹ ghts that you feel like applauding just to celebrate the fact that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re over at last. Yet all in all, Sherlock Holmes is ripping fun. Robert Downey Jr.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s expert acting reďŹ&#x201A;ects Aldous Huxleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thought that if you could open the doors of perception, you would see the world as it is: inďŹ nite. This insight sums up the mind of the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s greatest detectiveâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;it also sums up the mind of a schizophrenic. Downeyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Holmes is a dandy in high Victorian regalia, smoked glasses, ascots and the kind of slanted hats worn in Oscar Wildeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s circle. But we also see another side of Holmesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a hermit crab in a dank ďŹ&#x201A;at, huddled under a silk dressing gown so raveled it looks shaggy as a bear skin. Mark Strongâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lord Blackwood is apprehended by Holmes in midâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;black mass and ushered in to a well-deserved hanging. Naturally, Inspector Lestrade (Eddie Marsan) decides that the case is closed. But it seems the grave cannot hold Blackwood. Holmes is approached by two different clients: the ever-troublesome Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams) and the head of a Masons-like group, who are troubled by the specter of Blackwood. The movie keeps coming back to a serene partnershipâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;when Holmes says â&#x20AC;&#x153;The gameâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s afoot,â&#x20AC;? Jude Lawâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s formidable Watson picks up the rest of the Henry V quote. (RvB) A Single Man (R; 99 min.) Tom Fordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s adaptation of Christopher Isherwoodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s novel, essential reading in the gay canon. Colin Firth plays professor George Falconer, an Englishman in Los Angeles in the early 1960s. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a bereaved ďŹ gure; being in the closet, he isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t permitted to show his sorrow after the death of his longtime male lover in an automobile accident. This grieving single manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s secret is known only to his friend Charlotte, called Charley (Julianne Moore), also a former ďŹ&#x201A;ame, who has never quite got over George. Falconer has another secret, though: he is putting his affairs in order, with the plan of committing suicide that night. Certainly, Firth looks like a man of the era in question. Moore practically mainlined her eye shadow to get that zonked 1960s aura. Despite the opera on A Single Manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s soundtrack, it couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be less operatic: nothing seems like a matter of life and death. The ďŹ lm is beautiful, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not the kind of beauty one can feel much about. Ford is good with the placement of actors on a set; heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a tableau
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â&#x20AC;˘ 201 S. 2nd St, S.J. â&#x20AC;˘ 998-3300 Student Night Wednesdays -- $6 after 6pm *WHEN IN ROME (PG-13) PRECIOUS (R) *EDGE OF DARKNESS (R) ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COMPLICATED (R) *LEGION (R) *EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES (PG) *TOOTH FAIRY (PG) LEAP YEAR (PG) THE LOVELY BONES (PG-13) UP IN THE AIR (R) THE BOOK OF ELI (R) YOUTH IN REVOLT (R) SHERLOCK HOLMES (PG-13) AVATAR in RealD 3D (PG-13) THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS (PG-13)
â&#x20AC;˘ 288 S. Second, S.J. â&#x20AC;˘ 998-3300 *CREATION (NR) BROKEN EMBRACES (R) PLUS NINE (PG-13) OPENS FEB. 5TH! DEAR JOHN FISH TANK FROM PARIS WITH LOVE THE LAST STATION
DISCOUNT (10 Admits/$60) / GIFT CARDS PURCHASE AT THEATER BOX OFFICE OR ON-LINE
NOIR CITY runs through Jan. 31 at the Castro Theatre in San Francisco. See www.noircity.com for details.
THEATER RENTALS -- CALL 395-6465
M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 FILM
Tooth Fairy (PG; 101 min.) It might rekindle your child’s faith in the tooth fairy, but it won’t do their faith in the movies any good. Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. the Rock, stars as a mean hockey player on the skids in Lansing, Mich. His remark about the nonexistence of the tooth fairy makes the fairies enslave him for two weeks. Once-hot scriptwriters Babaloo Mendel and Lowell Ganz have had their script amended, but it’s a real end-of-theline project with Ashley Judd (as Johnson’s girlfriend) looking the most likely to be carried down by the wreck. Johnson tries to fluff the movie but there’s no help there, either; Chase Ellison as the teenage son is, oddly, the noteworthy performance; some might think that director Michael Lembeck let Ellison play the kid as too troubled, but at least there’s a sense in him of troubles too big to be healed by the usual “dream big” speeches. Billy Crystal is mucho bad as fairyland’s gadget expert. Julie Andrews, as the head fairy, goes beyond self-parody into a look of near pain; she recalls her old foe Pauline Kael’s comment: “They may have forgotten how to make good movies in Hollywood, but at least they’re good at preserving people.” (RvB) The White Ribbon (R; 144 min.) In the insignificant village of Eichwald (“Oakwood”), just before World War I, we hear a series of stories. These stories concern acts of violence that disturbed the orderly progression of the years. The events are narrated by an old man who was, long ago, the town’s vacantlooking schoolteacher (Christian Friedel). He advises us that everything we will see is based on things half-heard and halfremembered. We can take this ineffectual
man’s word for it. Clues pass him by, and he can’t provide a solid resolution for the story. He doesn’t seem to understand that Eichwald is poisoned, root and branch. The schoolteacher comments that what we see will help us understand “the events that came after.” By “the events,” director Michael Haneke may mean Germany’s next 30 years after 1914. Eichwald is a serpent’s-egg hatchery: the village’s obedient children will be participants in the kaiser’s war and Hitler’s crime wave. (RvB) Youth in Revolt (R; 90 min.) Michael Cera plays Nick Twisp in Miguel Arteta’s alterna-date movie. Young Nick is a virgin in the leafier part of Oakland, and he can’t stand it. His mom’s boyfriend of the day, Jerry (Zach Galifianakis), has to leave town suddenly. Jerry, Nick and the mom in question (Jean Smart) go vacationing at “Restless Axles,” a sad trailer park by a lake. There, Nick meets a girl who is too good to be real: Sheeni Saunders (Portia Doubleday), kept under lock and key by her parents. Nick is determined to get next to her at all costs—even if it means creating the identity of “François Dillinger,” a kind of Big Lots version of the breezy heel Belmondo played in Breathless. Small-scale mayhem follows in Francois’ wake. Based on a self-published novel by C.D. Payne, Youth in Revolt invokes numerous local sites, from Ukiah to Santa Cruz (though for budget reasons, the movie was shot in Louisiana and Michigan). The writing is so crisp that one ignores the incidents of dead air and the jokes that fail to build. Despite a nod to computers at the beginning, this is a film that carries out its scheme of rebel cool against a background of vinyl LPs, French New Wave references, pay telephones and a thinly veiled version of the book The Joy of Sex. (RvB)
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maker. The fine clothes don’t make the men. (RvB)
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JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
METROGUIDE
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 MUSIC
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Lacerated_59 Classical Moves_60 Jazz Goes to the Movies_61
Bang San Jose ’60s girl group recaptures the music’s raw power
‘I OUT WITH A BANG Hjsm.hspvq!sfwjwfst!uif! Cboh!pqfo!gps!Nbhjd! Disjtujbo!bu!uif! Cmbol!Dmvc!Gsjebz/
F YOU’RE on board, don’t expect to be dressing like the B-52’s.” That’s what Angeline King told the dozens of girls who auditioned to sing in the Bang, the girl group she put together a year and a half ago with her boyfriend, Careless Hearts guitarist Derek See. Backed by See, along with On the Corner Music co-owner Jeff Evans and bassist Jafar Green, King needed two other frontwomen besides herself to carry the harmonies, trade vocals and perform the dance moves that ’60s acts like the Supremes, the Ronettes, the Shirelles and Martha and the Vandellas made famous. “I put an ad on Craigslist saying I was looking for people who were interested in trying something different,” King says. “You know, ‘If you like go-go boots, love this music and want to try something new, give me a call.’ I had tryouts and was basically just looking for people who respected the music and had the same vision. The chemistry had to be right. . . . I wanted people who would have fun. I said, ‘This is not just a job, I want you to love what you’re doing. ’Cause I love doing it, too.” Through those auditions, the group found Hanna Rifkin. But their other pick couldn’t handle the harmonies, and then her replacement moved away. “By that time, people started
By Steve Palopoli hearing about us, so we had tons and tons of girls try out. They were all amazing, we didn’t have one bad one in the bunch.” They didn’t know how they’d decide, until Mindi Green approached them at a gig. “After we played, Mindi came up to me and said, ‘Hi, I’m Mindy. I’m going to be your next singer,” remembers See. “I was so impressed with that. I thought, ‘Boy, I hope she can sing well.’ Luckily, it turned out that she sang well and fit in chemistrywise with them.” Rifkin and Green choose their own songs to sing from among hundreds of girl group tracks collected by See and others and filtered through King, who also picks her own material. The trio choreograph their moves based on the actual dances groups did in the heyday of the genre. “Mindy and Hanna both have a jazz background,” says King. “They wanted to do something different. And they’ve been doing a great job.” King’s background was a little more on point. “My mom used to be a gogo dancer on this show called Kitty a Go Go. It was a show in the ’60s, and she was a little girl. It was all kids, and you’d have these 9- and 10-year-olds twisting and doing the pony.” Not only did her mom teach her moves in the living room, she also turned King on to the music, which
would come in handy when King played in her first girl group, the Deccas, in Chicago. “Mom would play the 45s when I was a kid. She loved soul and Motown,” she says. “But Tina Turner was really the turning point. I wanted to know everything about this woman. She embodied sexiness and strength. She wasn’t like Madonna or Cyndi Lauper, she was different.” When she moved to California to be with See, she missed performing. Since See has been collecting music from that era since he was 9 years old, he was more than happy to put a band together, drafting his good friend Evans (“He understands the music really well,” says See) and Green. Thus far, the Bang does only covers, from obscure personal favorites like Barbara Lynn’s “I’m a Good Woman” to better-known pop classics. The songs are often far more complex than most people give them credit for, which presents the band with some challenges—especially when they run up against Phil Spector’s famous “wall of sound.” “‘Be My Baby,’ for example, I turn up the reverb on the guitar and play a lot differently,” says See. “I spend a lot of time thinking about how I’m going to fill up the space and play relevant parts. Like if there’s a horn line that
I think has a really great hook, I try to incorporate that into what I’m playing on guitar, in addition to keeping the rhythm going.” With thousands of songs to choose from, the Bang are particularly careful about what they put in their set. “It has to have a driving beat or something about it that catches my attention,” says King. “And it has to be within that first 10 seconds. There has to be something that takes a hold of me and makes me what to take that ride for three minutes, or however long the song is. Songs in the ’60s were like, boom! They wanted to get your attention. Which is why I like that our name is the Bang. We’re getting your attention.” And she’s thankful she has a backing band with the musical chops to handle the material. “I don’t want the band to be kitschy, that’s why I’m so happy we have a driving force in our sound. It’s a rockin’ sound,” she says. “I don’t want it to be that we have beehives. We’re respecting the decade, we’re not making fun of it.” THE BANG performs at 9pm on Friday (Jan. 29) at the Blank Club, 44 S. Almaden Ave., San Jose, opening for Magic Christian, featuring Clem Burke from Blondie. Also performing: Careless Hearts. Tickets are $10. (408.29.BLANK)
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JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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MUSIC The Best DVD & DVDS Selection in the South Bay
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THE DEVIL LOVES BOO-BOOS!!Tbo!KptfĂ&#x2013;t!Mbdfsbufe!
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Lacerated AD86A DJI;>I AVXZgViZY a^kZh je id ^ih cVbZ# I]Zn h]gZY l^i] i]Z WZhi d[ i]Zb VcY ]daY je i]Z igVY^i^dc d[ \gZVi 7Vn 6gZV bZiVa WVcYh# >iĂ&#x2030;h V kZgn iZX]c^XVa WVcY! Wji cdi dcZ d[ i]dhZ Ă&#x2020;bVi] bZiVaĂ&#x2021; WVcYh! l]ZgZ ndj h^i i]ZgZ VcY ldcYZg ]dl i]Zn XVc edhh^Wan gZbZbWZg Vaa i]dhZ cdiZh# Cd! i]ZhZ \jnh iV`Z V bjX] bdgZ WVh^X VcY Z[[ZXi^kZ VeegdVX]# I]Z kdXVa^hi$\j^iVg^hi ^h V YZVY g^c\Zg [dg 9ZVi]Ă&#x2030;h 8]jX` HX]jaY^cZg! VcY i]Z WVcY YZakZh ^cid heZZY$i]gVh]$YZVi] bZiVa# Cd \^bb^X`h! cd lVc`^c\ d[[ dc i]Z \j^iVg VcY cd Vii^ijYZh! _jhi V X]VcXZ id i]gdl je ndjg ]dgch VcY WVc\ ndjg ]ZVY# Beau Dowling LACERATED play Friday at 10pm at the Caravan Lounge, 98 S. Almaden Ave., San Jose; admission is free. (408.995.6220) BZigdgdX`# &,( L# HVciV 8aVgV Hi! HVc ?dhZ! )%-#',-#&)%%#
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[59]
[60] MUSIC
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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SUNDAY SESSION Uif!Tu/!Mbxsfodf!Tusjoh!Rvbsufu!sfuvsot!
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JAZZ GOES TO THE MOVIES with JOHN ALTMAN takes place Sunday (Jan. 31) at 2pm at the Improv, 62 S. Second St., San Jose. Tickets are $25/$30. (408.280.7475)
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[61]
[62] ADULT ENTERTAINMENT Phone Entertainment
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[63]
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[64]
ADVICE GODDESS JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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>Éb hZg^djhan Xdch^YZg^c\ WgZVhi Vj\bZciVi^dc# > ]VY c^XZ WddWh 8Éh +% edjcYh V\d# > gZVaan b^hh i]Zb# Bn Wdn[g^ZcY hVnh cdi id \Zi ^beaVcih [dg ]^b0 ]Z a^`Zh bZ Vh > Vb# >Éb Yd^c\ i]^h [dg bZ# >Éb i^gZY d[ WgVh i]Vi YdcÉi Òi higVeh idd h]dgi! Xjeh idd XadhZ ! VcY > gZVaan lVci V W^`^c^"ldgi]n WdY# L]Vi Yd bZc i]^c` d[ ^beaVcih4 >Éb cdi iVa`^c\ VWdji \d^c\ bV_dgan ide"]ZVkn0 > _jhi lVci WVaVcXZ#Å9ZÓViZY To your credit, you aren’t hoping to achieve “balance” by having a couple of bowling balls inserted. No, you’re thinking more along the lines of “Zen and the Art of Bolting Two Tennis Balls to Your Chest.” It’s understandable, after weight training and Weight Watcher-ing yourself down to where you can wear a bikini instead of using it for an eye shield, that you’d like to fill it with “nice boobs.” According to hundreds of comments from men on my blog and elsewhere, those are probably the ones you have, even if they are on the small side. The consensus? Bought breasts tend to feel hard and unnatural, and (eeuw!) a bit cold to the touch. Sure, some guys love big honkers so much, they don’t mind if they’re fake. And, even guys who don’t like fake’uns will tell you they can look pretty boobtacular in a sweater. But, when they’re naked or peeking out from triangles of Lycra, they tend to look freaky and make guys wonder what’s wrong with you that you felt compelled to hire somebody to slit you open and insert sandwich baggies of salt water or silicone. How much time, exactly, do you spend in a bikini? Got a day job traveling to convention centers and sitting on top of cars? Is your workstation a greased pole? Keep in mind that all surgery has risks. Just ask the Argentine model who went under the knife to get a little extra junk in the trunk. Oh, sorry—you can’t because, in the words of her friend Robert Piazza, she’s a woman who “had everything” but “lost her
life to have a slightly firmer behind.” You’re unlikely to die getting a little more junk in the top bunk, but you may suffer complications like a buildup of scar tissue, which can cause painful tissue contraction and—whoops!—deformed breasts. Mmmm, sexy! And then, like toupees and car tires, implants eventually need to be replaced. Maybe every 10 years; maybe more often if you’re one of the lucky ones who springs a leak. (Are we having funbags yet?) Given the potential costs of breast augmentation, you might first try bra augmentation. Maybe even see a breast psychic. OK, there’s no such thing, but the little old Eastern European ladies at bra specialty stores come close. You can walk in bundled up like Nanook of the North, and Ludmilla will march over, bark your size at you (the size you really wear, not the size you think you wear) and strap and cup you until you almost believe somebody at the gym turned in what you lost on the treadmill. Still find yourself yearning for a surgeon’s touch? Do your homework, and be sure you can accept the worst-case scenarios; for example, how the advice by flight attendants—“Use caution when opening overhead compartments. Objects may shift in flight”—applies to those considering implants, which can also become displaced. In other words, if you buy yourself new boobs, you’re sure to have guys ogling them, but possibly just from the rear.
> lZci dji l^i] i]^h \jn dcXZ0 i]Zc ]Z lZci VlVn [dg i]gZZ lZZ`h! VcY lZ ZbV^aZY VcY e]dcZY XdchiVcian# AVhi c^\]i! ]Z idd` bZ id Y^ccZg! VcY ^i lVh lZ^gY VcY Vl`lVgY# H]djaY > iZmi ]^b id hVn Èi]Vi [Zai gZVaan lZ^gYÉ4 Å=dcZhi Nothing takes the weird and awkward out of dating like sending a guy a typed statement about how weird and awkward you found your date. He’s sure to be inspired to look to the future with you, a la “Are you free Friday around 8? How about you go out with some other guy?” As for your stilted evening, maybe he’s seeing somebody else and feeling guilty; maybe it was hard reconciling the phone you and the in-person you; maybe his tighty-whities
were riding up. If he calls again, you might steer your next date to someplace there’s bigger action than the two of you—a hike, an arcade, an intellectual amusement park (aka a museum). If he doesn’t call, you could text him—as if by accident—with one of those form messages that came with your phone. “In a meeting”? Confusing, yes, but a better way to say “call me!” than “Had a really crappy time. Looking forward to many more crappy times in the future.”
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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010
CLASSIFIEDS
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g Employment Jobs
MOVIE EXTRAS NEEDED Earn $150 to $300 Per Day. All Looks, Types and Ages. Feature Films, Television, Commercials, and Print. No Experience Necessary. 1-800-340-8404 x2001 (AAN CAN)
Managers & Trainees Wanted (No Layoffs Here) Need 6 people F/T and 10 people P/T to help me with my business. Full training- Start Now. Call Jerry. 408/750-7250
Tell A Friend You saw it in the Metro Classifieds!
Door To Door Meat Men Design Engineer AnaCom, Inc. in San Jose, CA. Wanted 6 days/week. Clean DMV. Must be able to drive stick. Come sell the best product in the country! Slammin’ commission. $400 cash a day! Check out our products at www.eprimecuts.com Call M-F. Sam, 408-590-1730.
Computer Technical Solutions Consultant.—Reqs. incl: Weblogic, Websphere, MSSQL, Oracle, IIS, Tomcat; Troubleshoot windows desktop & server Op Sys (NT, 2000, 2003); HTTP Tchnlgs; UNIX admin: Sun Solaris, HP/UX, Red Hat Linux; Java, C, C++ programming; Ntwrk troubleshooting; High avlblty envmts. Also reqs: Masters degree or foreign equiv in CS, CE or rel field of study. Send resume and refer to Job#CUPUKE2. Please send resumes with job number to Hewlett-Packard Company, 19483 Pruneridge Ave., MS 4206, Cupertino, CA 95014. No phone calls please. Must be legally authorized to work in the U.S. without sponsorship. EOE.
Design, develop, and upgrade field transmission equipments. Bachelor & experience required. Jobsite in San Jose, CA. Mail resume to James Tom at 682 Hillcrest Ter., Fremont, CA 94539 or email resume@anacominc.com. www.anacominc.com
$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 www.easywork-greatpay.com
Bartender / Cocktail Servers Full Time or 6 AM Part Time shift available. Alex’s 49er Inn, San Carlos & Bascom. Apply mornings only.
Activists Wanted through out Bay Area !! Help qualify California Initiatives. $12-$25 Hourly. Flexible hours. Please call 408-679-8462
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Earn $75-$200 Hour Media Makeup Artist Training. Ads, TV, film, fashion. One week class. Stable job in weak economy. Details at www.AwardMadeUpSchool.co m 310/364-0665. (AAN CAN)
Bartenders Needed Fun jobs. Great money. Earn $25-40/hr. Call for certification and placement information. $199 tuition with this ad. 888.901.TIPS or visit www.abcbartending.com
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Bartenders In Demand No experience necessary. Make up to $300 per shift. Part-time, day, evening, night shifts available. Training, placement, certification provided. Call 877-879-9153 (AAN CAN)
Classes & Instruction Free Advice! We’ll Help You Choose A Program Or Degree To Get Your Career & Your Life On Track. Call Collegebound Network Today! 1-877-892-2642 (AAN CAN)
High School Diploma! Fast, affordable and accredited. Free brochure. Call Now!. 1-888-532-6546 ext. 97 www.continentalacademy.com (AAN CAN)
Practical Personal Training Workshop Friday, February 19-21 Gain hands on personal training experience. Space is limited. Call 831-233-4094 or register at www.bewellpt.com.
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Groundbreaking 2-day Pregnant? Considering workshop with Adoption? Thomas Campbell Talk with caring agency speauthor of My Big TOE and one of the leading pioneers in the study of Consciousness. Come learn about the origins and inner workings of Consciousness and how you may apply this knowledge to your everyday life. Tom has taken Einstein’s Theory of Relativity that one step further, so this really is an opportunity not to be missed. You won’t regret it! For further details on Tom and his work, please visit www.mybigtoe.com For more information about the workshop or to book, please visit www.mbtevents.com Pruneyard Plaza Hotel, Campbell CA Saturday 20 February and Sunday 21 February, 2010
cializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide. Living expenses paid. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866/413-6293
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Miscellaneous
Traditional Robert Burns Supper and Ceilidh Dance Each January the South Bay Scottish Society hosts a traditional Burns Supper. Mountain View Masonic Temple, 890 Church (corner of Franklin), Mtn. View (one block north of Castro) $38.00/per member and guest, $45.00/Non-member, $18.00 12/under. Andy McFarlin 408-554-9711 or Frank Cameron 650-941-0214 www.southbayscots.org/
GAIN NATIONAL EXPOSURE Reach over 5 million young, educated readers for only $995 by advertising in 110 weekly newspapers like this one. Call Jason at 202-289-8484. This is not a job offer. (AAN CAN)
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Voice Lessons Expand range, flexibility, confidence. Instruction also available for songwriting and guitar. Reasonable rates. Instructor: award-winning vocalist/songwriter, Deborah Levoy. www.deborahlevoy.com 408/275-0802.
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Monthly and hourly music rehearsal space. Music instrument (fretted and vintage keys) and amplifier service. 650.279.1793
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Genuine Analog 24 Track Analog. 24 Bit Digital. Stout Recording Studio. Randy Burk, Producer/ Session Drummer. 510-567-8572 Oakland. StoutRecordingStudio.com
The Metropolitain Palo Alto
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Miller’s Roofing Specializing in all types of roofs. New, re-roofing & repairs. Licensed, bonded & insured #885018. Call for your free estimate; 408/356-6211; cell 408/455-2075
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We SOLVE Computer Problems!! Mention Metro Ad For $20 “Express Computer Tune-Up” Computer Repairs for Desktops, laptops, home networks, virus, slow/dead systems, data recovery. Microsoft Certified. Call for free quote!!! Free pickup and delivery. 408-734-3123.
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Carpet Carpet Laminates Center Hardwood Vinyl
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[66]
ASTROLOGY JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y
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6g^Zh (March 21–April 19): Shakespeare got
modest respect while he was alive, but his reputation as a brilliant bard didn’t gel right away. It wasn’t until almost 50 years after he died that anyone thought his life and work were notable enough to write about. By then, all his colleagues and compatriots were gone, unable to testify. He himself left little information to build a biography around. That’s why next to nothing is known about the person who made such a dramatic impact on the English language and literature. I suggest you take this as a metaphorical prod that will inspire you not to be blasé about the greatness that is in your vicinity. Don’t take superlative intelligence, talent, or love for granted. Recognize it, bless it, be influenced by it.
IVjgjh (April 20–May 20): You are the lord of all
you survey! I swear to God! I’m almost tempted to say that you now have the power to command whirlwinds and alter the course of mighty rivers! At the very least you will be able to mobilize the ambition of everyone you encounter and brighten the future of every group you’re part of ! Act with confident precision, Taurus! Speak with crisp authority! Your realm waits expectantly for the transformative decisions that will issue from the fresh depths of your emotional intelligence!
<Zb^c^ (May 21–June 20): It’s time for you to fly away—to flee the safe pleasures that comfort you as well as the outmoded fixations that haunt you; to escape at least one of the galling compromises that twists your spirit as well as a familiar groove that numbs your intelligence. In my astrological opinion, Gemini, you need to get excited by stimuli that come from outside your known universe. You need fertile surprises that motivate you to resort to unpredictable solutions. 8VcXZg ( June 21–July 22): “I never meet anyone who admits to having had a happy childhood,” said writer Jessamyn West. “Everyone appears to think happiness betokens a lack of sensitivity.” I agree, and go further. Many creative people I know actually brag about how messed up their early life was, as if that was a crucial ingredient in turning them into the geniuses they are today. Well, excuse me for breaking the taboo, but I, Rob Brezsny, had a happy childhood, and it did not prevent me from becoming a sensitive artist. In fact, it helped. Now I ask you, my fellow Cancerian, whether you’re brave enough to go against the grain and confess that your early years had some wonderful moments? You’re in a phase of your cycle when recalling the beauty and joy of the past could be profoundly invigorating. AZd ( July 23–Aug. 22): Usually I overflow with
advice about how to access your soul’s code. I love to help you express the unique blueprint that sets you apart from everyone else. Every now and then, though, it’s a healing balm to take a sabbatical from exploring the intricacies of your core truths. This is one of those times. For the next ten days, I invite you to enjoy the privilege of being absolutely nobody. Revel in the pure emptiness of having no clue about your deep identity. If anyone asks you, “Who are you?”, relish the bubbly freedom that comes from cheerfully saying, “I have no freaking idea!”
K^g\d (Aug. 23–Sept. 22): French novelist Gustave Flaubert (1821–1880) is generally regarded as one of the greats. His book Madame Bovary appears on many lists of the greatest novels of all time. And yet writing didn’t come especially easy for him. He worked as hard as a ditch-digger. It wasn’t uncommon for him to spend several agonizing days in squeezing out a single page. On some occasions he literally beat his head against a wall, as if trying to dislodge the right words from their hiding place in his brain. He’s your role model in the coming week, Virgo. You can create something of value, although it may require hard labor. A^WgV (Sept. 23–Oct. 22): My theory is that right now the whole world is in love with you. In some places, this simmering adoration is bordering on infatuation. Creatures great and small are more apt than usual to recognize what’s beautiful and original about you. As a result, wonders and marvels are likely to coalesce in your vicinity. Is there anything you can do to ensure that events unfold in ways that will yield maximum benefits for everyone concerned? Yes: Be yourself with as much tender intensity as you can muster.
HXdge^d (Oct. 23–Nov. 21): I hope that you saw the
horoscope I wrote for you last week. And I hope that you acted on my advice and refrained from all sweating and striving and struggling. These past seven days were designed by the universe to be a time for you to recharge your psychic battery. Assuming that you took advantage of the opportunity, you should now be ready to shift gears. In this new phase, your assignment is to work extra hard and extra sweet on yourself. By that I mean you should make your way down into your depths and change around everything that isn’t functioning with grace and power. Tweak your attitudes. Rearrange your emotional flow. Be an introspective master of self-refinement.
HV\^iiVg^jh (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): This horoscope
borrows from one of my favorite Sagittarian visionaries, Jonathan Zap. The advice he gives below, which is in accordance with your astrological omens, is designed to help you avoid the fate he warns against. Here it is: “Many of the significant problems in our lives are more about recognizing the obvious rather than discovering the mysterious or hidden. One of the classic ways we deceive and hide from ourselves is by refusing to recognize the obvious, and shrouding what is right before us in rationalization and false complexity. We often delay and deny necessary transformation by claiming that there is a mysterious answer hidden from us, when actually we know the answers but pretend that we don’t.” (More at bit.ly/ZapOracle and Zaporacle.com.)
8Veg^Xdgc (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): It’s a good time
to take inventory of all the stories you allow to pour into your beautiful head. Do you absorb a relentless stream of fear-inducing news reports and violent movies and gossipy tales of decline and degeneration? Well, then, guess what: It’s the equivalent, for your psyche, of eating rotting bear intestines and crud scraped off a dumpster wall and pitchers full of trans fats from partially hydrogenated oil. But maybe, on the other hand, you tend to expose yourself to comedies that loosen your fixations and poems that stretch your understanding of the human condition and conversations about all the things that are working pretty well. If so, you’re taking good care of your precious insides; you’re fostering your mental health. Now please drink in this fresh truth from Nigerian writer Ben Okri: “Beware of the stories you read or tell; subtly, at night, beneath the waters of consciousness, they are altering your world.”
Boulder Creek
gg Real Estate Services
Real Estate Sales
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Land
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g Real Estate Rentals Shared Housing
Notice All real estate advertised in Metro Newspapers is subject to the State and Federal Fair Housing Act, which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation, or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, family status (the presence of children), or national origin, or the intention to make any such preference, limitation, or discrimination. State and locate laws forbid discrimination in the sale, rental, or advertising of real estate. We will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate which is in violation of the law.
3 acres. Harmon Gulch. Creek. Private road. Quiet. Sunny possible site. Owner financing. Shown by appointment only. Contact Deborah
J. Donner, Donner Land and Mortgage Co., Inc. 408/395-5754 or www.donnerland.com
Boulder Creek 40 acres. Timber Preserve Zoning. Creek frontage. Wild and serene. Off grid. Private Road. Small ridge top site. Good owner financing offered. $295,000. Shown by appointment only. Contact Deborah J. Donner, Donner Land and Mortgage Co., Inc., Broker at 408/395-5754 or www.donnerland.com
Los Gatos Mountains Highland Way. 5 acres. Double wide with wrap arounddeck. NICE. Spring and creek. Sunny. Private road. Off-grid. Possible owner financing. $289,000 Shown by appointment only. Contact Deborah J. Donner, Donner Land and Mortgage Co., Inc. 408/395-5754 or www.donnerland.com
Boulder Creek 10 acres. Rough and rugged and a beautiful spot right on top! Long private bumpy road. Private road association. Good owner financing. $215,000. Shown by appointment only. Contact Deborah J. Donner, Donner Land and Mortgage Co., Inc. 408/395-5754 or www.donnerland.com
6fjVg^jh ( Jan. 20–Feb. 18): In the coming week,
I predict that you will not experience disgusting fascinations, smiling-faced failures, sensationalized accounts of useless developments, or bizarre fantasies in the middle of the night. You may, on the other hand, have encounters with uplifting disappointments, incendiary offers of assistance, mysterious declarations of interdependence, and uproars that provoke your awe and humility in healing ways. In other words, Aquarius, it’ll be an uncanny, perhaps controversial time for you—but always leading in the direction of greater freedom.
E^hXZh (Feb. 19–March 20): Congrats on your
growing ability to do more floating and less thrashing as you cascade down the stream of consciousness. I think you’re finally understanding that a little bit of chaos isn’t a sign that everything’s falling apart forever omigod the entire planet’s crashing and evil is in ascension . . . but rather that a healthy amount of bewildering unpredictability keeps things fresh and clean. My advice is to learn to relax even more as you glide with serene amusement through the bubbling and churning waters of life.
Senior Living 62 Years or Older Shire’s Apartments for Seniors. 1 Bedroom $556 per month, $556 first and last. Immediate move-in. Very clean, non-smoking, library, private patio garden, affordable parking. Dave 408.297.7476 180 North 4th St, San Jose
Shires Apartments for Seniors
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Business Listings
M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y JANUARY 27-FEBRUARY 2, 2010 STRAIGHT DOPE
Legal Legal & Public Notices
FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #533248 The following person(s) is (are) doing business as: The Green Samaritans. This business is conducted by a Corporation. The state of Corporation: California. Registrant has not yet begun transacting business under the fictitious business name or names listed herein on. /s/Dennis Thompson President #3238327 This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Clara County on 1/20/2010. (pub Metro 1/27, 2/03, 2/10, 2/17/2010)
business under the fictitious business name or names listed herein on 1/8/2010. Refile of previous file The following person(s) is #530080 due to publication (are) doing business as: Hub requirement not met on preAuto Brokers, 3130 DeLa Cruz vious filing. Blvd., #99, Santa Clara, CA, /s/Hadi Farahani 95054, Hadi Farahani, 301 This statement was filed with Budd Ave., Campbell, CA, the County Clerk of Santa 95008. Clara County on 1/08/2010. This business is conducted (pub Metro 1/13, 1/20, 1/27, by a individual. 2/03/2010) Registrant began transacting
FICTITIOUS BUSINESS FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT NAME STATEMENT #532875 #532808 The following person(s) is (are) doing business as: The Grind Coffee House, 2050 Concourse Dr., #2, San Jose, CA, 95131, Five Star Patrick Tran, LLC. This business is conducted by an Limited Liability Company. Registrant began transacting business under the fictitious business name or names listed herein on 10/15/09. Refile of previous file #514886 with changes /s/Joann Tran Managing Member #200929410237 This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Clara County on 1/11/2010. (pub Metro 1/20, 1/27, 2/03, 2/10/2010)
Metro's Legal Ads To advertise visit metroactive.com or call 408/200-1300.
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CECIL ADAMS
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Business Listings
Transportation
The traditional method, which admittedly works better on a group-project basis, is to try some. If you throw up, get convulsions or die, it’s poisonous. The scientific method, as explained in the U.S. Army Survival Manual, is to memorize the local edible plants prior to getting marooned. Too late for that? The implicit message of the manual is: soldier, you’re hosed. However, it does offer a plan B, namely the 13-step Universal Edibility Test. This boils down to cautiously trying whatever potential edible you have a lot of and seeing if you throw up, get convulsions or die. There’s no foolproof way of avoiding poisonous plants. The best you can do is avoid high-risk items while keeping your fingers crossed about everything else. That said, while I don’t claim to be a survival expert, I think we can expand a bit on the sketchy advice in the army manual. Herewith some tips. 1. First see if you can find fresh water, meat or fish. Without water you’re doomed. Fish or meat, if you can get it, is higher on the food chain than plants and provides a better nutritional mix. 2. Don’t eat mushrooms or fungi. They’re not all lethal, but when they’re bad, they’re really bad. For example, consumption of Amanita phalloides may result in nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, cramping, kidney and or liver failure, coma and death. The thing is, this mushroom doesn’t say Amanita phalloides on it. It looks like a mushroom. How likely are you to encounter one? I have no idea; you didn’t specify where your deserted island was. If you do know where it is, why are you writing me? 3. Skip anything that smells like almonds. Cyanide. 4. Don’t eat anything that’s rotten, mildewed, growing in stagnant water or otherwise disgusting. You’d think this would go without saying, but all the survival guides make a point of mentioning it, so I figure so should I. 5. Boil it, if you’ve got the means. The army disparages this practice, saying boiling doesn’t destroy all toxins. Maybe not, but it’ll destroy some toxins, and at the same time get rid of the tannins that render foods like acorns unpalatable. Nonetheless, apply the Universal Edibility Test (which we’ll get to below) before chowing down. 6. Watch what animals eat. This is another thing the army manual thinks is a bad idea, since humans and animals have different vulnerabilities. No doubt, but come on. If an
animal eats something and drops dead, I submit that tells you something. More seriously, if an animal eats something without apparent harm, I’d say it warrants further study using the UET. 7. Avoid white or yellow berries, as well as plants with beans, seeds or milky white sap. Purple or black berries are worth a try. Red fruit is iffy. 8. Avoid plants that look like parsley or carrots—could be hemlock. Also, remember: “leaves of three, let them be”—groups of three leaves are the sign of poison ivy, sumac and oak. Now we run the Universal Edibility Test on what’s left. I have a hard time believing you’re going to remember 13 steps, and anyone together enough to bring the manual listing them would surely also stash a copy of World’s Edible Plants. So here’s a simplified version: • Find something abundant. No sense wasting time on a plant that could turn out to be both poisonous and scarce. • Pick out one part of the plant to test—for example, just the leaves and not the roots. One may be poisonous while the other isn’t. Which is more likely? No idea. That’s why you’re doing the test. • Fast for eight hours, to give anything you ate earlier time to act up. • While waiting, hold the plant against your wrist or inside elbow for 15 minutes to see if it irritates your skin. • Touch a small amount to your lips for three minutes. • Touch it to your tongue for 15 minutes. • Chew it but don’t swallow for 15 minutes. • Swallow. If you don’t get sick after eight hours, try a quarter cup of the plant and repeat the above. Still breathing? Good sign. Coughing blood? That’s bad. Maybe next time you’ll memorize those edible plants.
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