1005_MT

Page 1

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 · VOL. 25, NO. 49 · SAN JOSE, CA · FREE

Win: Sierra Summit Lift Tix & Wahoo’s Fish Taco Gift Card METROGIVEAWAYS.COM MASHUP Apple and Google take off the gloves p9

EGGHEADS Cirque du Soleil hatches sensational ‘Ovo’ p51

Can City Hall fix Downtown?

City

Hint: It can stop abusing downtown businesses. p16


[02]

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[03]


[04] CCONTENTS ONTENTS

FEBRUARY F E B R U A R Y 3-9, 3 - 9 , 2010 2 0 1 0 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA VA L L E Y

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010

[05]


[06] LETTERS

FEBRUARY 3-10, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

American Popular Music, 1889–1895 by Lynn Abbott and Doug Seroff. They go into a ton of fascinating detail, and they will quickly change your perspective on the prominence and quality of black musicians in those early pre-jazz decades. You might also like this article/ website about the worldwide development of brass music—the role of the Roma in cross-cultural music is part of that, but also the imperialist military bands were spreading musical instruments all over the place, and now it is coming back to us in so many ways besides jazz! (www.relevantmusic .org/worldbands.html).

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I liked your coverage of the Django Centenary (“Gypsy Genius,â€? Cover Story, Jan. 20). Just one little thing: the ďŹ rst paragraph had a problem. The often repeated line about “Civil War brass instrumentsâ€? being used in the early days of New Orleans jazz is not quite

right. There was a ood of surplus Spanish-American War instruments around the South in the early 1900s, but most of the Civil War–era instruments were worn out or completely obsolete by then. There were thousands of brass bands all over the United States in the late 1800s (civilian and military) and a large market of good used instruments existed—even inexpensive enough

Greg Howe SanJoseInside.com

˜

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for emerging New Orleans brass bands to use. Have you had a chance to read the three books by Ned Sublette about the development of New Orleans and Caribbean music? They are well researched and a good read. Also, you might like Ragged but Right: Black Traveling Shows, “Coon Songs� and the Dark Pathway to Blues and Jazz and Out of Sight: The Rise of African

Pea Brains

Dana Grover San Jose

Jock Pop Brass Notes

Pat Waite SanJoseInside.com

I thought that I would never see A San Jose street tree fee. They want to charge another tax To prune or cut one with an ax. I’ll have to pay one hundred bucks? Hate to say it, but that sucks! Why can’t they simply let things be And let me keep my Fee-Free Tree?

Tree Verse

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Is it just me, or does anybody else ďŹ nd it bizarre that the city can say, “We no longer want to take care of our trees, property owners have to,â€? then turn around and say, “We’re going to tax you to take care of the trees that we just told you to take care of ?â€?

Recent press indicated that a large number of officers toil daily at desk jobs better suited to rank-and- ďŹ le administrative city workers. (“The Thinner Blue Line,â€? SanJoseInside, Jan. 27). Is it sheer lunacy to consider closing down the Cultural Affairs Department and moving those 18 employees into San Jose Police Department desk jobs, thereby freeing up 18 officers for patrol? I swear, if most of our peabrained councilmembers didn’t have hidden agendas, this sort of activity could become reality instead of fantasy.

Dave Richoux Semi-ex-KFJC Jazz DJ

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Bizarro World

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I saw you, father at the All Star Academy batting cages. You put your tiny son into the cage, with a bat and a batting helmet bigger than he was, and proceeded to yell at him after every swing and miss. Do you really think he’s going to want to play ball with that kind of introduction to the sport?? Poor little guy looked ready to cry by the time the machine stopped! SEND US your anonymous rants and raves about your co-workers or any badly behaving citizen—or about citizens you admire. I SAW YOU, Metro, 550 S. First St., San Jose, 95113, or via email to Isawyou@metronews.com.

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010

[07]


[08] SILICON ALLEYS

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

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GARY SINGH

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L

AST WEEK in this space, I notified readers of the “Lost San Jose” art show taking place this Saturday at Blues Jean Bar in Santana Row. A few more aspects of the situation need to be navigated, so allow me to add some further comments. While Josh Marcotte’s photos do indeed beautifully capture crumbling pieces of San Jose, he unfortunately wasn’t able to include any shots of the old Town & Country Village shopping center, which was flattened almost exactly 10 years ago to build Santana Row. Most of us were around during that time, but the history is fun stuff to yak about. In 1998, when the wrecking balls appeared imminent, San Jose Mayor Susan Hammer declared that Santana Row would “pose no threat to downtown businesses.” So the land was sold, and the shopping center destroyed, along with four decades of Town & Country memories. The mall had long since fallen into a state of decrepitude, so many folks, perhaps fittingly, said “goodbye and good riddance,” but the memories remain. What a place. First the background: Four Town & Country Village shopping centers originally graced the Bay Area landscape decades ago. The first one opened in Palo Alto in the early ’50s. The one at Stevens Creek and Winchester came along in 1960, followed a few years later by equivalents in Sunnyvale and in Marin County. My generation has fond memories of the very first Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizza Time Theatre restaurant, which opened in Town & Country Village in San Jose in 1977. It was eventually one of the first places where we could play video games. Nolan Bushnell of Atari and Pong fame started the whole shootin’ match, pioneering the suburban, family pizza arcade experience. It could only have happened in the ’70s, in Silicon Valley. An entire generation of kids, including me, was never the same afterward. Moving into the ’80s, it seemed like everyone who came of age during those days knew someone who knew someone else who knew a girl whose stoner boyfriend had a job dressing up in the rat costume at Chuck E. Cheese’s. Town & Country Village was also the home of Books Inc., for years the best independent bookstore in San Jose. That store had possibly the most comprehensive occult section of any bookstore in Santa Clara County. The art and music sections were equally as far-reaching and sublime. The Borders store now in Santana Row pales in comparison and has absolutely no character whatsoever. If anyone desires to know every single tenant that occupied a space in Town & Country Village in any My generation has fond given year, it just takes some casual research. The San Jose Mercury News memories of the very first used to publish a yearly Shopping Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizza Mall Guide to Santa Clara Valley. Time Theatre restaurant, A few back issues exist in the which opened in Town California Room at the Martin Luther King Jr. Main Library. & Country Village in If you want to see a picture of San Jose in 1977 what Mt. Pleasant Shopping Center looked like in 1967, the photos are in there. Likewise, if you want to see a list of every single shop in Princeton Plaza in 1975, along with the square footage of each place, the issue for that year contains the information. For example, in the 1979 entry for Town & Country Village, we find six shoe stores, 12 household retail shops, a handful of jewelers and five airline offices, including Hughes Air West. That same year, the total area of the Town & country Village parcel was 50.5 acres, the “area developed” was 268,000 square feet, the total units occupied added up to 111 and the parking capacity was 1,000 cars. This is rocking stuff, folks. Aren’t you glad you know all this now? We’re talking about Lost San Jose at its finest. This is precisely why Josh Marcotte decided to start photo-documenting everything that will soon be forgotten. You can see a solo show of his work this Saturday at the Blues Jean Bar in Santana Row, as well as more photos in a larger show at the Kaleid Gallery in downtown San Jose—right at the corner of Fourth and San Fernando. Actually, that corner used to be a Vietnamese restaurant called Quoc Te . . .

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Tell me about your favorite shopping center: SiliconAlleys@metronews.com


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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 MASHUP

[09]

best of the local web

A roundup of news, commentary and opinion from around the valley. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect Metro’s editorial views.

Jobs: ‘Don’t Be Evil’ Motto Is ‘Bullshit’ AFTER a big public announcement of the sort Apple had this week for the iPad, CEO Steve Jobs often takes time in the day or two GIVING GOOGLE THE FINGER? afterward to have a Town Hall at Tufwf!Kpct!sfqpsufemz!qplfe!bu!Hpphmf! boe!Bepcf!evsjoh!b!tubgg!nffujoh!jo! One Infinite Loop, making himself Dvqfsujop!mbtu!xffl/! available for questions from employees bold enough to stand up and take one right between the eyes. This time, the big topics included Google and Adobe—no surprises there. Jobs, characteristically, did not mince words as he spoke to the assembled, according to a person who was there who could not be named because this person is not authorized by Apple to speak with the press. On Google: We did not enter the search business, Jobs said. They entered the phone business. Make no mistake they want to kill the iPhone. We won’t let them, he says. Someone else asks something on a different topic, but there’s no getting Jobs off this rant. I want to go back to that other question first and say one more thing, he says. This “don’t be evil” mantra: “It’s bullshit.” Audience roars. About Adobe: They are lazy, Jobs says. They have all this potential to do interesting things but they just refuse to do it. Apple does not support Flash because it is so buggy, he says. Whenever a Mac crashes, more often than not it’s because of Flash. No one will be using Flash, he says. The world is moving to HTML5. —JOHN C. ABEL, WIRED.COM/EPICENTER

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MASHUP FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010T M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 NEWS

Santa Clara Valley, California

the

“Where We’re All Wearing Our Super Sunday Best.”

N FRIDAY, Rod Diridon drove back from Fresno after an event at the Santa Fe Railroad’s passenger depot in the Amtrak station. It’s a trip that may someday be shortened by California High-Speed Rail (HSR). Diridon, former Santa Clara County supervisor and current HSR Authority board member, was in Fresno with Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and about 200 locals gathered to celebrate at the station, following the previous day’s announcement that $2.25 billion dollars in federal stimulus funds had been awarded to its

O

development and construction. “It was exciting,” said Diridon cheerfully. “The governor was quite charismatic.” But while Diridon called the amount “quite a declaration of support,” Palo Alto Mayor Pat Burt isn’t impressed. Burt points out that it’s less than half of what HSRA had applied for. And, he says, the whole project is being rushed along at a dangerous pace. “The federal dollars created this artificial deadline,” Burt says. “They have to race forward to have a shovel in the ground by a certain date. And that is driving a process that might

result in not the best plan being put forward and not a design that’s best, and not one that would work economically for the state. This thing is a big can of worms still.” Mayor Burt’s tone—following what many considered to be great news for California—echoed his sentiments at a state Senate public hearing on High Speed Rail that was held at Palo Alto City Council Chambers on Jan. 21. At that hearing, Menlo Park Mayor Richard Cline summed up the reason that the members of the Peninsula Cities Consortium, including Palo Alto, have become a thorn in pro-

105,000

220 mph Maximum train

$4–5 Billion Amount

12.7 Million Number of

speed possible for rail segments between Bakerfield and Stockton

of local funding budgeted into HSR business plan

barrels of oil HSRA estimates highspeed rail travel will save by 2030

The War Isn’t Over

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Got a Tip for The Fly? fly@metronews.com

February 3-9, 2010 HSR advocates’ side. “We have been the poster child of anti-high-speed-rail for good or bad,” he said. “This is not a campaign we’ve created to kill highspeed rail. There are just so many questions.” There are also plenty of questions about what motivates Cline, Burt and other high-speed rail skeptics. On the surface, high-speed rail is a boon for the fossil-fuel-free future of the state. The $42.6 billion project would be an 800-mile system connecting Los Angeles to San Francisco with trains that exceed speeds of 200 mph and provide a viable alternative to driving or flying, not to mention thousands of new jobs. In November 2008, the Prop. 1A bond measure passed committing $9.95 billion toward the project, with wide bipartisan support as well as that of the Palo Alto City Council and residents. But from there the relationship went south. Nadia Naik, a Palo Alto stayat-home mom who now works 40 hours a week on behalf of Californians Advocating Responsible Rail Design, tells a common tale. “I have a friend whose house is on the train tracks. She said, ‘There’s a highspeed train coming through.’ I knew more about the Obamas getting a dog than a rail coming. I got quite ticked off and concerned. No one publicized it,” she says. While Palo Alto may have gotten behind the concept of HSR in theory, the reality of HSR that runs straight through town on the Caltrain corridor was another story. The corridor was selected in the rail’s Program Environmental Impact Review, which was certified in July 2008 before the November election, but many peninsula residents say that fact wasn’t widely reported. The route raised many questions about grade separations, crossings, impact on houses and property and the not-for-sure-but-totally-freakingpeople-out possibility that the HSR would be built on a 20-foot elevated track and create a “Berlin Wall” cutting Palo Alto in two. “It’s not a done deal, but when &'

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[11]

NOT IN OUR TOWN!!Qbmp!Bmup!Nbzps!Qbu!Cvsu!tbzt!gfefsbm!tujnvmvt!npofz!jt!esjwjoh!uif!qbdf!pg!uif!!

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Not So Fast Palo Alto group says state is rushing high-speed rail By Jessica Lussenhop

Number of jobs HSRA estimates will be created over the eight-year San Francisco to San Jose segment of project


[12]

NEWS FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

&&

there are different options on the table, people will focus on the ones that scare them the most,” says former Palo Alto Mayor Peter Drekmeier, who left office this month. “All of a sudden people felt like this thing is moving forward really quickly.”

Backyard Bullet The discussion smacks of NIMBYism, and though Mayor Burt acknowledges that, yes, “Trains will run every three minutes at 100something miles per hour though, literally, people’s back yards,” he contends that local concerns have dredged up bigger-picture problems. He points to everything from the ridership estimates released by HSRA changing from 58 million in 2035 to 41 million, to estimated ticket prices going from $55 to $104.75, making it a “luxury train.” Burt points also to a Legislative Analyst’s Office report released in January that said the HSRA business plan has “no risk-management strategy” and an “uninformative timeline.” “If we all drink the Kool-Aid and are infatuated with the project, we could have one of these implosions, something bad for our taxpayers and the image of California,” he says. Naik, who says her group, CARRD, is more interested in keeping the public informed than in arguing for specifics like undergrounding, the expensive tunneling option that may pacify objectors, agrees. “I’m no NIMBY. I believe in high-speed rail. It’s hard to be an environmentalist and a Democrat and be critical of high-speed rail. But it’s incumbent on us to ask the right questions to get the right project,” she says. In addition to a lawsuit brought by the cities of Menlo Park and Atherton and supported by Palo Alto (which tried unsuccessfully to challenge the July 2008 EIR’s selection of the Pacheco Pass over the Altamont Pass and slow the planning process), the Palo Alto City Council voted on Jan. 27 to soup up its stash of “high-speed-raildevoted funds” to a total of $130,000. Sixty grand will be devoted to a “peer review” of the upcoming Alternative Analysis report coming out in March from HSRA, which Diridon describes as a “matrix” of data examining the environmental, economic and social impacts of different alignments of track. A preview of the report will be released to cities on Feb. 9, and the city has decided

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on the engineering consulting firm Hatch Mott McDonald for its review. A lobbyist for the city will be sent to Sacramento for an additional $25,00, and $30,000 will go to an outside consultant to look at the ridership and financial projections. “If their ridership numbers fall apart, and many of us think that they will, then the HSR program will fall apart. And if that’s the case, obviously there would be no elevated structures through Palo Alto,” said Councilmember Larry Klein in the discussion. “It’s money well spent to have help analyzing those figures.” “I’m glad they’re so wealthy,” says Diridon sarcastically. “They’re doing the same thing that the HSRA is paying hundreds of millions of dollars to do with that material being audited by the EPA, the Corps of Engineers and the Federal Railroad Administration. It seems an awful waste of money.” Bianca Walser, a board member for Californians for High Speed Rail and a resident of Menlo Park, is similarly skeptical. “I think that they’re trying to create a lot of fear and uncertainty and doubt about the project. When the economy turns around, fuel prices are going to go up. If we have made no real steps toward getting HSR implemented, we will really regret it,” she says. Although most parties agree that the Context Sensitive Solutions process, a method announced in November and being managed by Caltrain and HSRA, which emphasizes community information gathering (and had previously been used only in major road projects), there is still plenty of contention on the horizon—the expiration date on the federal funds set a groundbreaking as soon as late 2011, with a mandatory completion in 2017. Burt frets that the entire process should be slowed down, and that we should “negotiate with the federal government for some extension on that timeline.” How effective Palo Alto, Menlo Park or any of the other peninsula cities will be in slowing down or tripping up high-speed rail is anyone’s guess, but former Mayor Drekmeier speculates that the noise they’re making will have some effect. “There are a lot of influential people on the peninsula. They have the ear of elected officials. It’s an area where a lot of people want support,” he says. And if the concerns of Palo Alto are ignored? “It would be a very onerous process. A lot of lawsuits.” M

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Santa Clara Valley Water District

Public meeting Special Redistricting Advisory Committee C Meetings

You Y ou o are in invited nvited The Santa Clara V Valley a alley Water Water District Board of Directors has h appointed an independent ting Advisor 7-member Redistrict Redistricting Advisoryy Committee to conduct a redistricting study that will draw seven new districts, pursuant to State law law.. In order to conduct the study in a transparent, inclusive, and a comprehensive manner manner,, the Committee will hold d several public meetings to gather inp put and comments from the community. community. input If you are interested d in attending, or providing input, the meetings will be held as follows: 20 010 Feb. 16, 2010 6:00 to 8:00 0 PM

March 2, 2010 2 6:00 to 8:00 0 PM

March 16, 2010 6:00 to 8:00 0 PM

March 30, 2010 6:00 to 8:00 0 PM

April 13, 2010 2 6:00 to 8:00 0 PM

Mountain View City Hall, Council Co ouncil Chambers, 500 Castro Street, Mountain n View, View, CA Morgan Hill Community and d Cultural Center, Center, El T oro o Room, Room, 17000 Monterey Monterey Road, Road, Morgan Hill, CA Toro T oyon o M Room, Toyon Elementarty School, Multi-use Room, 995 Bard Avenue, Avenue, San Jose, CA Campbell Library, Library, Community Community Room, Room, 777 Harrison Avenue, Avenue, Campbell, Camp pbell, CA Santa Clara Valley Valley Water Water Dis District, strict, Headquarters Board Room, Room, 5700 Almaden Expressway, Expressway, San Jose, Jose CA

Y ou o can also visit our our website at You www w..valleywatterr.or . g/about/redistricting.aspx x www.valleywater.org/about/redistricting.aspx to provide your inp ut and get more infor mation. input information.

1/2010_GS


M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

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[15]


[16] COVER STORY

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

Lives

Downtown Business owners hope the city’s newest initiative helps—but they’re not holding their breath BY JESSICA FROMM

S

INCE OPENING its doors in 1958—more than a decade before the phrase “Silicon Valley” was coined or the microprocessor appeared and throughout the technology industry’s bubbles and bursts—Paolo’s restaurant in downtown San Jose has remained a dining destination. As more than $2 billion was spent revitalizing the city’s core, Paolo’s moved from a small, gable-roofed, one-story wooden building at 12th and Santa Clara streets to the ground floor of a high-rise beside the Guadalupe Expressway. It has weathered downtown’s ups and downs, such as competition from Santana Row and the bankruptcies of San Jose Symphony and American Musical Theatre, both of which drew patrons for pre-show dining. Its location sheltered it from many of the problems with code enforcement and law enforcement and the patchwork of landlords waiting for big paydays that hampered businesses in nearby historic districts.

Throughout it all, the white-tablecloth restaurant managed to stay in business, offering an evolving menu of Californiainfluenced regional Italian cuisine. Today, at the hand of maitre d’ and sommelier Jalil Samavarchian, Paolo’s offerings continue to combine the traditional with the contemporary. Second-generation owner Carolyn Allen-Samavarchian credits a community philosophy with keeping diners returning. “We all understand and share the philosophy that we can, and will, rise or fall together,” Allen-Samavarchian says, “in spite of the challenges and limitations an economic recession imposes on a small business and its staff. “This is not the first recession we have survived, and going through the ups and downs over 52 years has taught us a lot.” It’s no secret that the current recession has cut deeply into downtown San Jose’s nightclubs and restaurants, thinning the pack from the days of Ron Gonzales’ chaotic mayorship. Over the years, many ventures have infused life into the downtown—the Fairmont, Convention Center, City Hall and HP Pavilion all became institutions of city life, while other efforts missed the mark. But, hey, that’s what happens when Silicon Valley– style entrepreneurship collides with “city planning.” Now, the San Jose City Council has begun to rethink many of its policies and attitudes toward downtown economic development. While falling short of reinvention, the new plan to boost the local economy seems to signal a more commercefriendly approach to downtown’s battered businesses. Released last week, it aims to

spark economic development and create jobs by offering new businesses incentives to locate downtown. According to the proposal, the city and the Redevelopment Agency will offer perks like tax reimbursements and fee waivers to pump some life into the city’s central district. “I’m not trying to oversell this thing as the savior, because it’s not,” says Councilman Sam Liccardo, who represents the downtown district. “City Hall isn’t going to save anything. I think what we can hope for is that we’re going to make an incremental difference. I’m not putting out the messiah plan, I’m putting out a program change and thinking about the relationship between the city and the business community.”

New School of Thought As a professor of urban and regional planning at the Institute for Metropolitan Studies at San Jose State University, professor Dayana Salazar says that the issues that San Jose faces are not unique. “This is something that San Jose and many cities in the United States have struggled with for years,” Salazar says. “They are seeing a major exodus of businesses. San Jose has been working to bring viable, vibrant retail to downtown since the ’70s, pretty much, with varying degrees of success.” Salazar points out that downtown San Jose has made progress—much of it in the past couple of decades. “It’s a very different place then it was when I came to San Jose State back in 24


Downtown Down a timeline

M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 COVER STORY

[17]

The city of San Jose’s newest stimulus plan to revitalize downtown follows a two-year stretch when a dozen landmark nightclubs perished.

aggressive policing by SJPD for driving away his clientele.

Out of Flavor

Taste Ultra Lounge

This local favorite dive bar was known for having good bands and cheap drinks served with a heavy hand. It was originally two levels with a 248-person capacity, but that was whittled down to 48 as the cost of rent went up.

DATE OPENED:

Late 2006 April 26, 2008 OWNERS: Isaac Barrera and Carlos Carmona OFFICIAL REASON FOR CLOSURE: Lease terminated DATE CLOSED:

On the still-alive MySpace page for the now-defunct Taste, former owner Isaac Barrera posted a 1,775-word manifesto detailing his club’s demise, including a play-by-play of all their legal troubles with their landlord and the building’s owners. “Carlos and I put everything we owned and every penny we had to build a business . . . but because some man decides he doesn’t want nightlife in San Jose or doesn’t like our clientele, we lose everything we invested,” Barrera wrote. Barrera and Carmona now operate a Taste Ultra Lounge in Stockton and fill buses with San Joseans who want to party there. Who ever thought that would happen?

09.2007

Hammered Johnny V’s DATE OPENED:

Feb. 24, 2002 May 31, 2009 OWNER: Johnny Van Wyk DATE CLOSED:

OFFICIAL REASON FOR CLOSURE:

It’s complicated. Van Wyk says that his building’s owners wanted to raise his rent. He also blames

“I want to open another bar,” says Van Wyk, who is currently painting houses to pay off his leftover debt. “It’s what I do, and I’ve been doing it in San Jose since 1993. But at this point it’s frightening, the city environment. I had points where I had four or five entertainment police coming into my operation two to three times a week doing checks and going through all my stuff, like I was some kind of criminal. “They contradict themselves because they claim they want to be a 24-hour city; they claim that they want big city nightlife, yet they make it impossible for guys like me. The city of San Jose, to put it frankly, really screwed me.”

04.2008 04.2009 05.2009 The Chameleon

Vivid/Pearl Nightclub DATE OPENED AS VIVID:

February 2007 26, 2009 DATE REOPENED AS PEARL: May 15, 2009 OWNER: Jenny Wolfes OFFICIAL REASON FOR CLOSURE: Remodel DATE CLOSED: April

Naked Ape

Monkey Lounge DATE OPENED:

July 2004 September 2007 OWNER: Mondo Millan DATE CLOSED:

OFFICIAL REASON FOR CLOSURE:

Room capacity/issues

Notorious for its punch-packing Monkey Kiss cocktail, the Blue Monkey offered a funky, mature twist on the upscale martini lounge. Longtime downtown bar owner and operator Johnny Van Wyk says that capacity issues with the city ultimately became the straw that broke the Monkey’s back. The owners, meanwhile, have opened an eatery in downtown Campbell, where nightlife is hopping and city officials are more tolerant. The former lounge location at 1 E. San Fernando St. is now the home of the Hanuman Thai Restaurant.

Pearl, a.k.a. Vivid, a.k.a. Studio 8: a club by any other name ... is still the same. Every two years or so, operator Jenny Wolfes closes this high-ceilinged nightclub at 8 S. First St. She revamps it, and the name is changed, yet the final product still remains familiar. Vivid was Studio 8 with a new stage and some video screens, while Pearl is Vivid with some new furniture and curtains, walls of flat panel monitors and some mood lighting.

19


[18]

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

Mission Chamber Orchestra Valentine’s Concert Diamonds and Dreams Emily Ray, Conductor Ashu, saxophonist

Sunday, Feb 14, 7:30 PM Mendelssohn: Overture to A Midsummer Night’s Dream Avshalomov: Diamond Variations Actor: Saxophone Concerto, world premiere Mozart: Symphony no. 34

Le Petit Trianon Theatre, 72 N. 5th Street, downtown San Jose Tickets: $22/18/7 order on-line: www.missionchamber.org info: 408 236-3350

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 COVER STORY

17

[19]

Dead Meat

A.P. Stump’s Chop House

A Cold One

DATE OPENED:

Summer of 1998 10, 2009 OWNER: Andy Pavicich III and chef Jim Stump OFFICIAL REASON FOR CLOSURE: Bad economy DATE CLOSED: July

Tied House DATE OPENED:

1991 May 4, 2009 OWNER: Peter Licht DATE CLOSED:

OFFICIAL REASON FOR CLOSURE: The

economy went kaput. This Sharks fans’ staple was always jumping when the Tank was full; but the huge, hangarlike space at 65 N. San Pedro St. was a ghost town much of the time. Though the food was never the big draw, the Tied House was a downtown San Jose brewpub that boasted eight tasty microbrews, along with seasonal offerings. When it closed up shop, Licht said he was planning to open a production brewery called the Hermitage at the corner of Virginia and South First streets. As far as we can tell, nothing has come to fruition with that yet.

05.2009

06.2009

Invincible?

Vault Ultra Lounge DATE OPENED:

A longtime favorite hangout for San Jose’s well dressed old money crowd, New American restaurant turned chop house A.P. Stump’s boasted some of the city’s most expensive privately-funded tenant improvements. It opened back in the heyday of the dotcom boom and closed in the middle of the global recession 11 years later.

May 2004

07.2009 Musical Chairs Club Wet DATE OPENED:

Oct. 25, 2008

DATE TEMPORARILY SHUTTERED BY SJPD:

July 8, 2009

IMPENDING CLOSURE ANNOUNCED*:

OWNER:

June 27, 2009* OWNER: Group including Mauricio Mejia and Harry Evans

OFFICIAL REASON FOR MONTH-LONG CLOSURE: Stabbing incident and excessive dance floor movements documented on YouTube

OFFICIAL (STATED) REASON FOR CLOSURE:

Agency enforcements, partnership difficulties *NOTE: As of this writing, despite published reports to the contrary, the Vault remains open. Vault was the first club in San Jose to strike gold with the “ultralounge” concept. For years, it was a challenge to even get in the doors of this posh, two-level club located in a converted savings-and-loan building on West Santa Clara Street, just for all the bodies packed in there every weekend. On June 27 of last year, Vault held a “5-Year Anniversary and Grand Finale.” A flier announced that “closing the last night of Vault [are] DJ Raheem and DJ Remedy.” Metro heard back in June that after the close they were undergoing a “massive renovation” and would reopen in August as “The Republic.” Then for a moment, the name was “Area 81.” However, almost six months later, the doors are still open for business every weekend, and banners that say “Vault” still hang proudly from its stone facade.

Mike Hamod

The SJPD greeted the opening of Wet (formerly Polly Esther’s, Cabana and Glo) by barricading one block of South First Street and videotaping everyone in line. Still, the huge nightlife spot located in a former theater space at 396 S. First St. has managed to remain packed, effectively sucking business from every other large dance club in the downtown. Wet frequently flies in celebrities and DJs from Las Vegas, Los Angeles, New York, Miami and Dubai in an attempt to put San Jose on the international club map, something that city leaders have failed to sufficiently appreciate.

21


[20]

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

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SATURDAY MAY 22 HERITAGE THEATRE

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 COVER STORY

[21]

No More Sugar?

19

Azucar Latin Bistro & Mojito Bar

Mission Impossible Mission Ale House DATE OPENED:

Feb. 29, 1996 DATE CLOSED: Oct. 28, 2009 OWNER: Dan Doherty OFFICIAL REASON FOR CLOSURE:

Economy, problems with city/police, and owner wanted to get out of bar business Once nicknamed the “Mission Male House” for its gender imbalance, Mission Ale House was a longtime downtown San Jose fixture (’Niners quarterback Jeff Garcia drank his way to a DUI there). Fourteen years and numerous problems with the police and city regulations later, owner Dan Doherty sold the place to local Freddy Jackson this fall. After a lightning-fast remodel, a canvas “Freddy J’s” sign was slapped up and the place is currently back in business. Jackson has been trying to go upmarket with the 97 E. Santa Clara St. location, one of the closest watering holes to the new City Hall.

10.2009 Murky Water Splash DATE OPENED:

2004 Oct.1, 2009 OWNER: T.J. Bruce DATE CLOSED:

OFFICIAL REASON FOR CLOSURE:

New owner and extensive renovations Once one of San Jose’s most fabulous gay dance clubs, Splash was bought by T.J. Bruce, owner of the Badlands gay nightclub in Sacramento, last October. The spot at 65 Post St. was then closed to bring it up to code, but renovations to the building, once a 19th Century brothel, are taking longer than expected. After they’ve waded through all the red tape, Bruce says they’ll open the bar this spring complete with a new name, new plasma screens and a new live VJ.

DATE OPENED:

Late 2006 Late 2009 OWNER: Geo Belaski DATE NAME CHANGED:

OFFICIAL REASON FOR NAME CHANGE:

Unknown

We’re not sure why this popular Latin bistro decided to change their name to Diablos. In late 2009, a haphazard neon sign reading “Diablos” replaced one side of the longtime Azucar sign out in front of this lounge known for its solid tropical-infused menu and salsa dancing. Seems to us that if a place is famous for its plethora of saccharine mojitos and pomegranateinfused tequila, the former title would be more fitting. Alas, it still seems about the same, besides the addition of a few plush booths to make it seem more clubby. Metro was unable to reach owner Geo Belaski for comment.

11.2009

12.2009

Smoked Out Smoke Tiki Lounge DATE OPENED:

Dec. 1, 2005 Dec. 31, 2009 OWNER: Dan Doherty DATE CLOSED:

OFFICIAL REASON FOR CLOSURE:

Financial problems, flagging business and change of concept Current operator Tim Littlefield (former co-owner of the now-defunct SoFA Lounge) says that he’s closing Smoke in order to turn it into an upscale “comfort food” eatery. He also wants the location formerly known as Smoke to lose its nightlife reputation.

24


[22]

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

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Law Office Of David A. Boone Attorney At Law Practice Emphasizing Bankruptcy Matters You Can Still Do It! File Bankruptcy And Stop Worrying! Phone (408) 291-6000 No one enjoys facing financial problems. However, we sometimes find ourselves in awkward situations where professional legal assistance becomes a necessity. With so many law firms eager to provide bankruptcy services, it becomes rather frustrating to know where you can get real answers to your questions. Many people appreciate the personal approach that David A. Boone takes to give you the peace of mind that you, your group, family or business deserve regarding bankruptcy matters. Have you lost your job? Been divorced or injured? Stop creditors harassment, lawsuits, repossessions and foreclosure, or IRS seizures, wage garnishments or attachments. Don't let unpaid bills or judgments ruin your health, marriage or your job. Receive a fresh start under Chapter 7; reorganize your debts to protect your property under Chapters 11 or 13. Your peace of mind is at stake. Mr. Boone cares about your problems, and invites you to visit him at 1611 The Alameda, in San Jose, and call to make arrangements for a free initial consultation. Your case will be handled professionally, and confidentially. The editors of this 2010 Consumer Business Review for the 16th consecutive year urge our readers to contact David A. Boone to handle your bankruptcy matter quickly, efficiently, and economically. www.AttorneyForBankruptcy.com

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010

[23]

DR. ANDRE M. CHEVALIER Board Certified American Chiropractic Board of Sports Physicians 1265 El Camino Real Suite 100, Santa Clara, CA 95050 Phone (408) 241-TEAM (8326) www.TEAMCLINIC.com For many years Americans considered health care only when they were sick. They also associated the words Sports Medicine with Pro Athletes needing orthopedic surgery. Today with the rise in interest in preventative care and physical fitness, many Americans are seeking doctors with a natural approach to health, injury prevention and human performance. TEAM CHIROPRACTOR for all Division I Teams at San Jose State University inclusive of the 2006 New Mexico Football Bowl Champions, DR. ANDRE CHEVALIER practices this natural approach through the science of Chiropractic Medicine, Physiotherapy, Myofascial Techniques and Physical Rehabilitation Programs. Event Chiropractic Physician at the 1997 NHL and 2001 MLS All Stars games, Dr. Chevalier was Chiropractic team physician for the 2001 & 2003 MLS Champions San Jose Earthquakes from 1998 until the team moved to Houston in 2006. For more than 18 years, DR. CHEVALIER's T.E.A.M. CLINIC has been one of the leading multidisciplinary clinics in Northern California. Not only do College and Elite Pro athletes such as All Star MVP & National Olympic Team Soccer Player Landon Donovan have benefited from DR. CHEVALIER'S expertise, average weekend warriors also get the same most effective treatment protocols for their aches and pains. So you're not an athlete…maybe you have been involved in a car accident or suffered from a sudden injury… no worries… the same goes for you for your prompt and effective recovery. Most importantly, DR. CHEVALIER's team will also recommend specific home care exercises that will enhance your self-reliance and speed up your release from his professional care. Pain is nature's way of telling you something is wrong. That's why the editors of this 2010 Consumer Business Review highly recommend DR. ANDRE CHEVALIER's T.E.A.M. CLINIC to all of our readers for the sixth consecutive year. Call (408) 241-8326 for an appointment today and visit the award winning 8000 sq/ft state-of-the-art facility at The Atrium, 1265 El Camino Real, Suite 100, in Santa Clara. Experience The Edge Live Better From The Inside Out Altitude Simulation Technology CALL TODAY… FOR A PAINLESS TOMORROW!!!

Dinan Service

Zoom Cycle Accessories Motorcycle Parts * Accessories Street * Dirt * Motorcross * Touring * Custom Call (408) 248-5780

BMW & Mini Specialists Service & Repairs * High Performance Campbell: (408) 866-0606 * Morgan Hill: (408) 779-8584 * Mountain View: (650) 962-9401

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to take your BMW or Mini to just one place for all of your repair work? There is such a place and we're talking about Dinan Service! With three shop facilities to serve you at 980 Camden Ave., in Campbell, at 2232 Old Middlefield Rd., in Mountain View, and at 865 Jarvis Dr., in Morgan Hill. Dinan Service is the area's leading BMW or Mini repair shop. Ask any one who's used their services. They'll tell you this is the ONLY stop you need to make on your way to worry-free driving! From a simple oil change to a complete engine rebuild, Dinan Service has the equipment, parts and skill to repair or replace any part that may malfunction. With years of recommendations behind them, Dinan Service has established the type of reputation other shops are envious of, but they just cannot compete with in terms of service and quality. So, when you need ANYTHING done to your BMW or Mini, see the best...first. The editors of this 2010 Consumer Business Review recommend you make an appointment at Dinan Service. They'll take good care of you at prices you can afford!

In these tough economic times, it's truly difficult to find real value for your hard earned money. For that reason, it's a pleasure to recommend a business such as Zoom Cycle Accessories in our BUSINESS REVIEW. Zoom Cycle Accessories at 3413 El Camino Real in Santa Clara, has been offering true value in expert motorcycle parts and hard to find parts. They are considered to be the true professionals for motorcycle accessories. Zoom Cycle Accessories offers tire service, and wheels laced and trued. These days, people wonder who will treat them right, do quality work, and give them a fair price. Zoom Cycle Accessories will give you this and more; a proven ability to make sure that you, as their valued client, are completely satisfied. The editors of this 2010 Consumer Business Review recommend that you write down the name Zoom Cycle Accessories, and keep it on hand. If quality work at a fair price, along with personal attention to your motorcycle parts needs is important to you, you need look no further.

Mark A. Erickson

Rose Garden Court

Divorce Attorney Complicated Assets * Business Interests Support Disputes * Contested Child Custody Call (408) 377-9101

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When a domestic problem occurs, it's important to discuss it as soon as possible with an attorney. When you retain an attorney for your family dispute, you'll want to retain one with experience, one who concentrates his practice on family law matters. Mark A. Erickson is experienced with contested and uncontested divorce including the associated factors of child custody, visitation, support, property division, adoption and paternity. Mr. Erickson is also experienced in divorce mediation which is a recently developed tool for obtaining a completely legal dissolution of marriage without litigation and the bitterness and recriminations which usually accompany litigated divorce. Mr. Erickson invites you to call his office or make an appointment to visit him at 2155 S. Bascom, Suite #100, to learn more about your legal rights and obligations. Mark Erickson is a certified family law specialist certified by the state bar of California, board of legal specialization. No two divorces are ever the same. You should investigate all your legal options. The editors of this 2010 Consumer Business Review recommend that our readers contact Mark Erickson to handle your family law and mediation matters efficiently and effectively. You'll be glad you have found an attorney with the experience, care and dedication you and your family deserve. With pleasure we recommend Mark A. Erickson to all of our readers.

With some of the finest facilities anywhere, Rose Garden Court has become the preferred residential care facility of many families throughout the local area. The quality of care that the resident receives at Rose Garden Court is rated with the very best. It's at 958 Vermont St., in San Jose. Ideally suited for ambulatory and non-ambulatory residents, here's a home where the resident can get the kind of attention and professional care that's needed when health is failing. They keep a close eye on the resident's eating habits, and the kitchen prepares individual meals for those who must restrict their intake of certain foods. Rose Garden Court features services including: Dementia Care, Parkinsons Care, Blood Sugar Testing, Insulin Shots, Alzheimer's Care, excersize, recreational facilities and personal attention and lots of love makes Rose Garden Court a nice place to be as well. The editors of this 2010 Consumer Business Review once again recommend Rose Garden Court to anyone needing the utmost in quality care. Mention you read about Rose Garden Court to them. They'd like to know where you learned about them. THIS IS A NON-MEDICAL FACILITY

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[24] COVER STORY

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

Downtown Lives

20

12.2009 The Lazarus Room Spiedo Ristorante DATE OPENED:

1994

DATE REBRANDED TO AGAVE VIEJO:

May 1, 2009 DATE CHANGED BACK TO SPIEDO:

Dec. 2009 OWNER: Hamdi Bogart Ugur OFFICIAL REASON FOR REBRANDING TO AGAVE VIEJO: Owner wanted to do a “duel concept” eatery.

Owner Hamdi Bogart Ugur switched longtime downtown Italian restaurant Spiedo into a “dual concept” eatery. For a brief few months, they had a tequila bar and served Mexican food under the name Agave Viejo, all the while still offering Italian food under the name Spiedo. Shockingly, the idea didn’t rake in the gold, and the space at 151 W. Santa Clara St. is now back to being named Spiedo. Oddly, it now serves a completely different menu of American fusion cuisine—but has kept the tequila bar. Spiedo in San Mateo still serves Italian food, however.

1991,” she says, “when basically, if you were to spend any time here after 5pm or 6pm, you’d be pretty much on your own. “Today, it’s a very different story. The core of downtown San Jose has definitely seen a great deal of infill development. Areas that were vacant now have businesses, and most of these buildings now have ground-level retailers and are in some kind of an active use, vs. simply being parking lots.” Still, longtime downtown business owners have their own ideas of what the area requires in order to prosper. For many, the key to survival lies in creating a sense of community on all levels: working together with City Hall, small and big businesses, community groups and every member of the public. For Carolyn AllenSamavarchian, improving the mood and aesthetic character will count for a lot. “We need an atmosphere which attracts and makes visiting, working and residential living downtown safe, convenient and desirable,” she says. She cites other oftmentioned examples of conventional wisdom that have yet to get traction: “A more pedestrian-centric, urban-friendly feel; sidewalk cafes with street-side tables; diverse retail stores and boutiques with a few national anchors; more art, galleries and museums, theater and concerts; an upgraded and enlarged convention center.” Brad Goldberg, managing partner at the newish downtown eatery Billy Berk’s, says San Jose needs to play up its high-tech connection. “I think about other major cities I’ve been to, and they all have a significant piece that they’re known for—the ocean or the Space Needle or coffee in Seattle, or beer in Portland,” he says. “I think about San Jose, and what’s our claim to fame? It’s technology, computers and innovation. It’s something to be proud of, and I don’t know that we’ve promoted it.” He says the city also needs more sports teams. “I can tell you this, the Sharks breathe life into this city,” he says. “The relationship that San Jose has with the Sharks is unique. This is how I imagine cities like Pittsburgh feel about the Steelers or how Boston feels about the Red Sox. “If the city could get more of that— maybe if we could get the ’Niners, not to San Jose but close enough, and if we can get the A’s—it would be fantastic. I mean, it’s a big deal in a city of a million people to have just one sports franchise, and the powers that be know it and they’re working on it.” He imagines the impact an A’s move would have on downtown and does the math comparing baseball to hockey: “You’re talking 81 games of 40,000 people, vs. 40 games with 18,000 people. I mean, can you imagine? That’s a huge, huge difference.”

16

Where’s the Hype? Ben Soriano, owner of South First Billiards and vice president of the San Jose Downtown Association, thinks that what is needed is an intense public relations campaign to promote downtown, along with more redevelopment money going to already established small businesses for things like facade improvements. “To me, it’s an issue of doing the marketing that needs to be done to really reflect what has been going on in downtown for these past few years,” Soriano says. “I don’t think the public at large understands that there is a thriving community downtown. That it’s not only a nightclub scene but that there are people of all generations who enjoy what goes on downtown, and not just specialevent nights but constantly. “More needs to be done to be that 800-pound gorilla that we are, because, our reputation, as I see it today, does not reflect the vibrancy and activity that is going on downtown.” Roger Springall, owner of Caffé Trieste, sees San Jose’s empty high-rise apartment buildings as the city’s biggest hurdle to success. “I moved to San Jose in 1986, and I lived in the Almaden Valley. I took one look downtown and it was horrible, and I never came back,” Springall says. “And a lot of people will say the same thing. Then, three years ago, when I was looking to open up Trieste, I decided to take a look downtown, and I thought, ‘Oh wow, it’s really changed.’ “But the economy is so slow, it’s like walking through quicksand. I just need more people, more people living and working downtown, but especially living downtown.” Springall says that a big reason why his business continues to survive in the midst of the biggest economic slump since the Great Depression is that Caffé Trieste offers all-ages entertainment, including bands, poets and even opera. Another bean grinder, Nick Taptelis of Philz Coffee, has helped energize the pedestrian-friendly Paseo de San Antonio near San Jose State with coffee strong enough to defibrillate a cardiac patient. The San Francisco–based operation chose downtown over competing locations because “it just felt right.” The cafe draws a cultlike, diverse crowd that ranges from students and open-mic poets with rivets and disks in their ear lobes to businessmen in suits and firefighters who park their engines in the red zone. Despite the promises of the two most recent mayors to cut red tape, Taptelis sings a common refrain about the permit process. “The city gave me a hard time

about opening up,” he says with a shrug. Taptelis dealt with it the same way he makes drip coffee—“time and patience” and take it in stride. Business gets better every day, he says. “I feel like 10 years from now this city will be popping. There’s a lot of potential here.” Salazar says that success will come down to getting more warm bodies out and about on the street. To do that, she says, the city also needs to change perceptions. “It’s really the chariot-and-horse combination, where to some extent you need retail and business to attract people to come downtown,” she says, “but you also need the people to patronize the retail and the entertainment places and the restaurants. If we have that resident population in downtown, retail will come after.” Because the city has seen numerous plans and strategies come and go over the years, many in the business community question if City Hall’s current effort will actually achieve its aim to “plant the seeds of San Jose’s economic resurgence.” “I think it’s a good start, but much more needs to be done,” AllenSamavarchian says. “Expediting permitting is not enough. The approval process is an expensive and convoluted nightmare, especially for small businesses that cannot afford to hire consultants to navigate it for them. It simply should not be that way.” For his part, Liccardo gets that. “There have been a lot of false starts downtown,” he says. “What I find to be most frequently the cause of those false starts is that we’ve had some wrongheaded approaches to how core urban areas develop organically. We’ve had approaches in the past which have focused on subsidizing large chain stores and chain restaurants. We’ve had periods where we discouraged high-rise residential development and would only insist on offices. “I think the lesson we’ve all learned is that you have to allow development and business to grow organically in the downtown, and you can’t be choking it with regulations and interventions.” These new incentives are about getting the ball rolling and not just waiting around for a good business environment to happen magically. “I think we’ve got a core group of uniquely creative, committed people downtown, who have weathered a lot of storms financially but continue to want to create a vibrant urban center here,” he says. “I can’t help but believe that when the conditions finally do return for growth opportunities, that we are going to be in a great position to finally take off. We’ve learned a lot of tough lessons over many years, but I think the stage is really well set now.” M


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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010

[31]


[32] EVENTS

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

7>< 9:6AH Ăˆ7^\ 7ZVhih dc i]Z 7ZVX]É

180 Woz Way • San Jose, CA 95110 • 408.298.5437 • www.cdm.org

W N! NE BITIO HI EX

Living in Space

Opening February 6, 2010

Immerse yourself in this unique space environment and learn about a day in the life of an International Space Station crew member. It’s out-of-this-world!

NEW!

Living in Space was designed and built by The Children’s Museum of Memphis for the Youth Museum Exhibit Collaborative (YMEC).

Lunar New Year

Biking in the City

Saturday, February 6: 10:00 a.m.–5:00 p.m. Sunday, February 7: noon–5:00 p.m.

Monday, February 15 through Friday, February 19

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 STYLE

NERD ALERT Ibvuf!dpvuvsf!eftjhofs!Epmdf!'!Hbccbob!gfbuvsfe!

cpx!ujft!ifbwjmz!jo!uifjs!sfdfou!nfoĂ–t!dpmmfdujpot/

Tie One On

W

HEN DID the bow tie ďŹ nd its way back into style? In its heyday, this alternative to a necktie or neatly constructed Windsor knot could be spotted mostly on neighborhood geeks, Orville Redenbacher popcorn boxes and Tucker Carlson circa CrossďŹ re. The infamous Steven Q. Urkel branded the image of the bow tie in popular culture—a look that didn’t necessarily catch on outside the realm of bottle-cap eyewear and elastic suspenders. The bow tie was an uncommon accessory for the fashion-savvy male for decades, with a few exceptions, whose embrace of the bow tie was meant as a statement of sartorial deďŹ ance. That has changed, however, because the bow tie has been showing up in magazines and advertising campaigns all over the place. The bow tie has piggybacked on the popular retro trend, which itself gave the idea of looking smart a certain air of appeal. Andre 3000, member of the hip-hop duo Outkast, is in many ways the embodiment of this newly embraced style. He and Kanye West have been seen on more than one occasion matching this neckwear with a fresh-looking pair of polyester chinos. Fashion designers like 9DA8: <6776C6! G6< 7DC:! 8DC;:G:C8: D; 7>G9H and 6A:M6C9:G DA8= are incorporating this preppy-meets-urban style into their lines. What used to be a one-dimensional tuxedo accompaniment is nowadays an apparel must-have. = B clothing has been dressing its male models in faded jeans and white dress shirts beneath ďŹ tted blazers, all topped off with plaid bow ties. The look somehow achieves harmony by taking these nerdy qualities and proclaiming them to be contemporary. Part of what has made bow ties so popular this season is the eclectic patterns and color combinations—like plaid laced in blue and white or grape with silver striping and polka dots. In 2010, the Urkels and Redenbachers of the world were quite effective at helping to create a trend out of the most unconventional fashion element—the bow tie. Angelo Scrofani

[33]


FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

J. Lohr Vineyards & Wines

A Wine and Chocolate Affair

Featuringfair fairtrade, trade,organic organicChocolate Chocolatefrom from Featuring Snake & Butterfly paired with six J. Lohr wines. Snake & Butterfly paired with six J. Lohr wines. Saturday February 13th 3:30PM $10.00 per person For more information and reservations contact sjevents@jlohr.com or call 408-918-2160

IIllustration/Branding: llustration/Branding: R Ranch7.com anch7.com

[34]

J. LOHR SAN JOSE WINE CENTER

1000 Lenzen Avenue San Jose, 95126

JLOHR.COM

bite club eats


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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 MENU

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[35]

tjmjdpo!wbmmfzĂ–t!hvjef!up!Ă&#x;of!ejojoh Mjwf!Gffe Can Bruno Chemel’s new high-end restaurant buck the recession?_45

African Tastes 9VkZ 8VWZWZ

San Jose’s only Somali restaurant offers unusual treats like suqaar By Stett Holbrook

SOMALI SPECIAL Kvccb!jt!uif!! pomz!qmbdf!up!psefs!! dijdlfo!tvrbbs/

JUBBA 6YYgZhh/ *((% IZgcZg LVn! HVc ?dhZ# E]dcZ/ )%-#))%#&*%)# =djgh/ *VbÄ&%b BdcÄ;g^ VcY +VbÄ &%eb HViÄHjc# 8j^h^cZ/ HdbVa^# Eg^XZ GVc\Z/ ,Ä '%#

M

ENTION Somalia, and most people think of warlords, pirates and Blackhawk Down. But I would like to plant a more pleasant word in your mind: suqaar. Suqaar (“su-car�) is one of Somalia’s national dishes. It’s a saucy, stir-fried dish typically prepared with beef or goat along with onions, bell peppers and a handful of spices. Suqaar tastes great spooned into spongy injera or rolled up in a hot chapati. Silicon Valley is blessed with a wide variety of ethnic cuisine, but as far as I know, Jubba is the area’s only Somali restaurant and therefore the only place to eat suqaar. One-year-old Jubba is an oddlooking restaurant in an odd location. The dining room and kitchen form an arc, like a halfcircle. It’s a bare-bones place with little in the way of adornment or atmosphere except for the passing light rail trains. The restaurant occupies a rather lonely shopping center between the train stop and an apartment complex. In spite of the tucked-away location, it’s easy to get to.

The menu is quite small and meat-centric, as beďŹ ts a cuisine created by a nomadic culture. When you’re constantly on the move, it’s not possible to grow crops, but you can take your herd with you. Industrialization and the growth of cities have eroded Somalia’s nomadic culture, but it’s still a meat-loving nation. “Most people in the cities have roots in the nomadic culture,â€? says Abdulahi Ali, whose cousin Aaminia Nur owns the restaurant with her husband. He speaks better English than she does, so I spoke to him instead of her. Given Somalia’s border with Ethiopia, I ďŹ gured that Somali food would have much more in common with its neighbor to the west, but the only similarities I found were the use of spongy injera, a pancakelike bread, and clariďŹ ed butter. Unlike the Ethiopian version of injera, the Somali version, or at least what they serve at Jubba, is less sour and smaller than the tarp-size rolls of bread you get at Ethiopian restaurants. As a country with the secondlongest coastline in Africa, Somalia

is open to the world, and its food demonstrates that. To start your meal, be sure to get an order of sambusa, triangular fried pastries ďŹ lled with ground beef, potatoes and spices. Or get two. They’re only a buck apiece. If they look and sound familiar, they should. They are Somalia’s take on an Indian samosa. “We have a border with India, and that’s the Indian Ocean,â€? jokes Ali. Jubba also serves chapati: a sweetish, buttery take on at bread that originated in northern India. Italy occupied Somalia until 1941, when the country won its independence. The Italians departed, but they left behind a fondness for spaghetti. Meals at Jubba come with a choice of rice, injera, chapati or spaghetti. If they served potatoes, they would have every starchy side dish in the world represented here. Back to the suqaar, which is available with chunks of beef or chicken ($10). Both are quite good. It’s a bit salty, but the savory mix of spices (cumin, coriander and turmeric) enlivens the currylike sauce and makes it easy to love. If you didn’t know this was a Somali restaurant, you wouldn’t think you

were eating anything particularly exotic. It’s just good. An even better way to eat it, I think, is as a sandwich ($7) rolled up in chapati with lettuce and tomatoes. It’s like a Somali burrito. Goat is the perfect meat for a nomadic culture, but it’s pretty unremarkable at Jubba. The bits of bone-in goat ($10) are juicy and moist but don’t have much avor. Goat is not as gamey as you might think, but I was looking for something more distinctive and robust given how lively the suqaar is. Jubba also serves American and Somali breakfast (injera and meat), but I didn’t make it in for that. Be sure to get a cup of the African sweet tea, which is quite sweet but good and steeped with cardamom, ginger and cinnamon. It’s free with your meal, but otherwise it goes for a $1. The owners of Jubba are considering moving to a new location that might attract more customers. As long as they keep serving that suqaar, I think they’ll do OK, especially since they’re they only game in town.


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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 DINING GUIDE

dpmvno xjof Ask the

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Sommelier

ARATOGA’s JC8DG@:9 wine shop is a casual and inviting place for wine lovers, especially those with a taste for local wines. The shop offers a smattering of international selections, but the bulk of the wines come from California and many of those from the Santa Cruz Mountains. Owner E6IG>8@ GJE:GI has been running the shop and tasting bar for nearly eight years.

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Why did you decide to pursue a career in wine?

I decided 10 years ago after being laid off as an art director in high tech. I wanted to do something completely different—retail wine! What makes the wine selection at Uncorked! special?

Retail wine is all about customer service. We try to make customers feel comfortable whether they are seasoned or just starting into wine. What wines are you passionate about right now?

Pinot noir has always been my passion, but I love all varietals. What are some of the best wine values now?

Domestic wines, I think, are the best values. Think local. What is your go-to wine for every day, casual drinking?

The 2006 Downing Family Rutherford Cabernet Sauvignon and the 2006 Sonnet Pinot Noir. Stett Holbrook (Twitter.com/Stett_Holbrook)

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[40]

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010

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[42]

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

live MUSIC

the rock

Brewery Sessions Brewery Sessions kick-off party Tuesday, February 9th Start the night with the tapping of our “Session” Velvet Pale Ale from 6pm - 7pm. ($1 beer!) Followed by music at 7:30pm. Artists include: Dan Rola, Jenifer Appelquist, and Richard Kubec.

Questions: sanjose@rockbottom.com or 408.377.0707 1875 SOUTH BASCOM | WWW.ROCKBOTTOM.COM


M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 DINING GUIDE

EjofsĂ– hvjeft

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[44] DINING GUIDE

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

EjofsĂ– hvjeft

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 DINING GUIDE

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HE ECONOMY is still on crutches. Silicon Valley unemployment is at nearly 12 percent. Layoffs haunt those with jobs. Is this any time to open a fancy restaurant serving avant-garde cuisine? Chef Bruno Chemel thinks so. As I reported last week on SanJose.com, Chemel decamped from Chez TJ last year (or quit, or was dismissed depending on who you talk to) and now presides over Baume, a matchboxsize restaurant at 201 S. California Ave. in Palo Alto serving the French native’s take on molecular gastronomy. The restaurant debuted this past Thursday to a sold-out crowd. Since the economy fell off a cliff in 2007, the word among restaurant industry watchers is that, to save money, Americans are cooking for themselves more, and that when they do go out they’re looking to spend as little as possible and eating value-priced comfort foods. Think beef stew and fried chicken. Molecular gastronomy, a school of cooking popularized in part by Spaniard Ferran Adria (El Bulli) and Americans Grant Achatz (Alinea) and Wylie Dufresne (WD-50), is the polar opposite of the comfort-food trend. First off, it’s expensive. Fancy equipment like anti-grills (a griddle that freezes instead of heats), liquid-nitrogen dispensers and immersion baths for sous-vide cooking don’t come cheap nor do the chefs who know how to use these devices. Instead of hulking plates of meatloaf and mac-and-cheese, molecular gastronomy offers fanciful foams, whiffs of smoke and conceptual dishes that need to be explained before being eaten. Chemel, who speaks with a French accent as thick as pot de crème, says his cooking will be a continuation of the kind of food he cooked during the end of his two years at Chez TJ, which is to say it’s molecular gastronomy light. Yes, it’s postmodern, inventive and highly technical, but in the end he wants people to eat and enjoy his food, not stare at it like a museum piece. For him, that means preparing familiar dishes—poached fish, roast beef— but adding a modern spin. A five-course meal at Baume will go for $78. A 10-course meal will be $108, and 15 courses for $148. For all three options, a flight of wine by the glass is available for an additional $50. Signature items will include a “carrot sphere” and spiced cucumber; beets coloriage with warm goat cheese and aged balsamic; slow-poached striped bass with daikon, yuzu miso and dashi broth; prime beef fillet with chanterelles and Perigord truffle jus; and “minute sponge” encapsulated with warm chocolate and pear. “I’m cooking things that people know but doing it in a different way,” he says. “I still want to feed my customers.” He chose Palo Alto because he likes its small scale. He has cooked in L.A., San Francisco, New York and Tokyo and says that the more casual, easygoing vibe suits his personality. “I think it’s a good fit for me.” More important, Chemel believes that the city’s population has the deep pockets to support his restaurant. And I have to agree with him. Before, during and after the great recession, Palo Alto remains remarkably, maddeningly, oblivious to the crashing walls of late-state capitalism caving in all around it. Or at least that’s what I’ve observed dining out in crowded Palo Alto restaurants over the past 18 months. And Chemel figures even those without lots of money like to go out for a special-occasion meal now and then. “Even if you’re not rich, you can go out for a nice meal for your 40th birthday,” he says, hopefully. Time will tell. Stett Holbrook (Twitter.com/Stett_Holbrook) gZhiVjgVci YZh^\c# 7ji ^i h]djaY l^c VlVgYh [dg ^ih [VaV[Za# >c VYY^i^dc id ldcYZg[jaan XgZVbn ]jbbjh! iVc\n iV]^c^ hVjXZ VcY e^X`aZY gZY XVWWV\Z! i]Z [VaV[Za YZajmZ ^h \^aYZY l^i] hig^eh d[ WV`ZY Z\\eaVci! [g^ZY XVja^ÓdlZg VcY [g^ZY ediVidZh# >[ ndj a^`Z ^i he^Xn! i]Z g^WWdc d[ h]ViiV ]di hVjXZ YZa^kZgh V WaVhi d[ X]^aZ eZeeZg ]ZVi# &%Vb"./(%eb YV^an# &&-* A^cXdac 6kZ# )%-#..(#-+(+#

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FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y


M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 DINING GUIDE

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Business Listings

[47]


FEBRUARY F E B R U A R Y 3-9, 3 - 9 , 2010 2 0 1 0 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA VA L L E Y

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Fri $10 F ri – 9pm; $1 0

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471 Dr, 47 71 Lagunita Lagunita D r, Stanford Stanford 650.725.ARTS 6 5 .725.ARTS 50 Fri $20 F r – 8pm; $2 ri 0

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315 S. S. First First St, St, San San Jose Jose 408.287.0400 408.28 87.0400 Fri F ri – 8pm; free free

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 CALENDAR

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Dimidium Britannia Arms Cupertino 1087 S. De Anza Blvd, San Jose 408.252.7262 Sat – 9pm; free

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The Record Winter Homestead Lanes 20990 Homestead Road, Cupertino 408.255.5700 Sat – 8pm; $8

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Opera San Jose

Haiti Benefit

California Theatre

Music Concert Hall

345 S. First St, San Jose

San Jose State University

408.437.4450

www.sjsu.edu

Feb. 6, 11, 13, 16 and 19 at 8pm, Feb. 7, 14 and 21 at 3pm; $51-$91

Sun – 7:30pm; free, but please be ready to donate

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[50]

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

“OVO is a remarkable and welcome return of Cirque to the Bay Area, and maintains the company’s high standards of quality.” – Mercury News

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY DEBORAH COLKER

PRESENTED BY

OPENS FEBRUARY 4 GET YOUR TICKETS NOW! in San Jose cirquedusoleil.com

UNDER THE GRAND CHAPITEAU AT TAYLOR STREET BRIDGE FOR PREFERRED SEATING, ASK FOR THE TAPIS ROUGE ™ VIP EXPERIENCE GROUP SALES AND : 1-800-450-1480 OFFICIAL SPONSORS

MEDIA PARTNER


M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 ARTS

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[51]

METROGUIDE

Gjmn ‘Fish Tank’ makes a dicey subject powerful but not prurient_57

The Egg And Us Cirque du Soleil’s new show, ‘Ovo,’ breaks open to reveal balletic marvels and mysterious insects By Richard von Busack

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FTER SOME 25 years, no one needs to explain that Cirque du Soleil is the one without the Guatemalan tiger taunters. But the popularity comes at a price: Cirque’s large shows are dazzling, but they sometimes sacrifice intimacy and narrative. I saw Ka in Las Vegas, and after 45 minutes, all I could tell was that it seemed to be about pirates. The new show, Ovo, by contrast, is exactly the kind of show that made Cirque famous when it began: a tent and a straightforward cavalcade of acts and characters linked by clowns. Americans hate clowns because we never get any good ones, as filmmaker Whit Stillman once quipped about Europeans and hamburgers. Cirque solves the problem with the graceful female Columbine-clown tumblers and the concentration and subtlety of their miming. The opening set is a 15-foot-high egg, dappled, the color of the planet Mars, sitting on what looks like the black polished lid of a colossal grand piano. Ovo’s décor is like a

cross between belle époque France and Mattel Thingmaker Fun Flowers: there are reminders of Lalique enameled scarabs or early Ballets Russes costumes in the wiry plumes on an acrobat’s forehead. An acrobat performs on a trapeze modeled on Hector Guimard’s viny ironwork for the Paris Métro. Ovo’s bug theme begins with mysterious beekeepers stalking the audience. It continues with episodes about a romantic triangle: a bald pantaloon of a ringmaster and a dizzy stick insect contend for a plus-size ladybug. When necessary, the old bug doses the younger with a tank of insecticide to calm him down. This induces hallucinations. Most bizarre of these visions is a modified lion dance performed by “Creatura” (Lee Brearley), a headless furry nudibranch, doing the shimmy, the bump and the Humpty Dance all by itself at the same time. Red ant–costumed performers foot-juggle oversize slices of kiwi and corncobs, which they turn on their sides and use as congas—in between the so-called “Icarian

games” during which they juggle each other. The incredible diabolo performer hurls his spool-like yo-yo nearly to the top of the tent. And the slack-wire walker Li Wei takes an upside-down ride on a tiny unicycle, which he operates like an eggbeater. The second half of the show opens with a trio of contortionist black widows. Since there are legions of screenwriters who can’t figure out how to come up with Spider-Man IV, why don’t they go see Ovo? It might shake something loose, creatively speaking. Maxim Kozlov and Inna Mayorova appear as a matched pair of Spanish web/corde lisse performers. Costumed in tights with cocoa veins on them, like the traced frosting on petits fours, they tie themselves in Kama Sutra–like love knots 15 feet off the ground. The live band holds the mystifying show together from the overture to the finale. It features an ace accordionist and a sultry female vocalist who contributes to a never-clashing roster of sounds from techno to tango nuevo. At one

point, the band has a dispute with the ringmaster, causing a mashup of Beethoven’s Fifth into “La Cucaracha.” The finale is one of Cirque’s greatest showpieces: simple yet astonishing. A trampoline at stage level stands at the base of a rock-climbing wall. Human grasshoppers leap and carom up and against the wall. They stick, release their holds and bounce back into place. It looks more like an illusion than a circus act. What it really looks like is the kind of silent-movie stunt where an actor is made to leap in the air, through the effect of running the film backward after he’s taken a fall. One stares and sees how it’s done, but no amount of staring can get you used to the idea. Ovo gets its title from its egg imagery; it could also get its title because it deserves an ovation. OVO runs Feb. 4–March 7 in the Grand Chapiteau at Taylor Street Bridge in San Jose. Tickets start at $42. (800.450.1480)


[52]

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

South FIRST FRIDAYS an eclectic evening of arts and culture in downtown San Jose’s SoFA District on the First Friday of every month

FEBRUARY 5th ART WALK - 8pm ’til late The SoFA District is So. First Street between San Carlos and E. Reed streets

Anno Domini

Art Glass Center

Caffé Trieste

Good Karma

MACLA

366 So. First Street

465 So. First Street

315 So. First Street

37 So. First Street

510 So. First Street

Art of Zines 2010

Bring your Valentine and enjoy live demonstrations by Lionel Chapital and our new instructor Lori Peterson at the torch. They will take inspiration from the holiday to create one-of-a-kind blown glass sculptures and beads that will warm your heart. Hearts and f lowers from 20 other artists spread the love throughout the entire studio.

All But Purple by Tamar Belson

Both Before & After by Benjamin Caprile

Opening Reception:

Tamar’s deep emotions and strong feelings find their way onto her canvas with vivid and lively colors, forms, shapes, materials and textures.

Benjamin creates surreal landscapes that combine the familiar with the unknown, the mundane with the monumental. Sometimes grotesque and other times serene, the artwork balances opposites through a variety of mediums. Live DJ sets by Richard Gutierrez and Claude Cardenas.

Featuring hundreds of zines from basements, bedrooms and midnight copy shops throughout the U.S. and abroad. Meet zinesters on-site selling their latest issue and watch a live zinemaking demo. Live music by Adam Lynn, Zoe Boekbinder, Corpus Callosum.

Music by: Opera

San José

Conceptual Landscapes: recent work by Castillo and Mariana Garibay. Ancestry, nature and form are reflected in this two person show featuring site specific installation and works on paper. Above image: Castillo, Brown Sugar (detail), giclee, burlap bags, chain, 2009

More Exhibitions: Downtown Yoga Shala 450 So. First Street Photography by Nadia Nasiri

Metro Photo Exhibit 550 So. First Street The Heart Show photos by the First Street Photo Collective.

Phantom Galleries 386 So. First Street

SLG Art Boutiki & Gallery 577 So. Market Street Escape from Dullsville Andy Ristaino presents art from his new series. Also, local author Dianne Sweeney will be on hand to sign copies of her book Kissing Frogs in Cyberspace. LIVE MUSIC TOO!

So. First Billiards

KALEID Gallery

420 So. First Street

88 So. Fourth Street

Heart Of Chaos Uproar sale closes end of February! Please stop by and place a bid on your favorite art piece. South First Billiards is now an ALL AGES venue.

7-9pm Opening Receptions: Transfiguration 3 dimensional art by Sandi Billingsley (pictured above) Relative Matter paintings by Mark Damrel Live music by INFM,Tyler Boyd

386 So. First Street- Illustrations from the Book of Dreams book art collages by Guy Brookshire. 388 So. First Street- We Are Not From Here/ here we are an exhibit of large oil paintings by Kate Stewart.

San Jose Museum of Quilts & Textiles 520 So. First Street Exhibits on view: Still Crazy and Reincarnation: The Crazy Collage Aesthetic of India & Japan.

Works San José 451 So. First Street (anti)Valentine Art Exhibition & Silent Auction

FREE and open to the public!

visit www.SouthFirstFridays.com or call 408-271-5155 for more info


M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 STAGE/ART/LIT

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[53]


[54] STAGE/ART/LIT

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

STAGE REVIEW

Pub Fare San Jose Rep spends an evening with Irish tale tellers in ‘The Weir’

Teatro VisiĂłn’s ‘Taking Flight’ tests the bonds of friendship

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AKING FLIGHT, the one-woman, one-act play presented by Teatro Visión and now running at Mexican Heritage Plaza Theater, is a story about how the bonds of friendship are tested. Actress and writer Adriana Sevahn Nichols portrays a woman who bares her soul, and ONE WOMAN, TWO CHARACTERS the emotion, passion and introspection she Besjbob!Tfwbio!Ojdipmt!qmbzt!uxp!Ofx!Zpslfst! stirs up had me wanting to call old friends jo!uif!xblf!pg!:022!jo!ÕUbljoh!Gmjhiu/Ö by the time I hit the exit. The story revolves around two New Yorkers, Adriana and her best friend, Rhonda. Rhonda is fashionconscious, outspoken and hilariously brash. Adriana is looking for the answers to life in her shamanic goddess, while Rhonda is planning her wedding, complete with a Bon Jovi cover band. Things take a terrible turn when Rhonda is nearly killed by falling debris on 9/11 while going to work. She’s taken to a hospital, and Adriana puts her life on hold to be there for her friend. Day after day, week after week, month after month, Adriana becomes drained, while Rhonda turns nasty. She is transforming into someone Adriana can’t recognize. Tough questions start to surface: Should I still be there for my best friend, even though everything I’ve given doesn’t seem to be enough? Should I stick it out with her, even though my presence seems to piss her off ? Who has she become? Nichols gives an intriguing performance, and her ability to quickly switch from Adriana to Rhonda and other characters in between is awless. She is not afraid to visit the darkest part of the soul and then contrast the pain with life’s happiest moments as Adriana’s resilience, loyalty and sanity are tested. Director Giovanna Sardelli lets Nichols shine on a stage that boasts only a chair with a sweater on the back and a bowl on a stand. She sways, sings and sets the piece’s many moods. Anyone who has ever had a true best friend will understand. Beau Dowling

TAKING FLIGHT, a Teatro Visión production, plays Thursday–Saturday at 8pm and Sunday at 2pm through Feb. 14 at Mexican Heritage Plaza Theater, 1700 Alum Rock Ave., San Jose. Tickets are $12–$24. (408.272.9926)

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‘Flight’ Pattern

STAGE REVIEW

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N A BITTER, windswept night in the Irish countryside, there is nothing more welcoming than the glow of a busy Irish pub, the communal place where locals of all occupations and creeds come together to enjoy a frothy pint of Guinness by the crackling ďŹ re. With characters warming their cold bones with drink and telling tall STORY TIME Wbmfsjf!)[jmmbi!Hmpsz*!ufmmt!ifs! folktales to pass the time and loneliness, rural ubmf!pg!xpf!bt!Csfoebo!)Bmfy!Nphhsjehf*!mjtufot! Irish pub culture sets the stage for acclaimed jo!Ă•Uif!Xfjs/Ă– Irish playwright Conor McPherson’s awardwinning drama The Weir. Playing through Feb. 21 at the San Jose Repertory Theatre, The Weir is an utterly haunting dramatic piece that bubbles with emotion while bringing together the real world and the supernatural. Set in a village by the sea in northwest Ireland, the play focuses on a group of isolated souls who happen to come together at the local watering hole, the Weir, only to discover new aspects of each other through the telling of eerie ghost and fairy stories. The ďŹ rst person to wander into the cozy, realistically worn bar set is Jack (Robert Sicular), a cantankerous longtime bachelor who loves being contrary and starting arguments. Jack has already poured himself a bottle of Guinness when bar owner and straight man Brendan (Alex Moggridge) shows up to serve the whiskey and beer that is the lifeblood of this downtrodden group of country folk. Finally, Jim (a convincingly twitchy Mark Anderson Phillips), the last regular, arrives to take his well-worn perch at the bar as the town’s lovable alky handyman. The three get to talking, and discover that Finbar (Andy Murray), the slimy local rich-boyturned-big-city-real-estate-agent, has been showing around the town’s newest resident, and he’s made a promise to bring her to the Weir that evening. The woman’s name is Valerie (played by Zillah Glory—what a name), and she has moved from Dublin to rural Ireland to escape some traumatic past events. As pint after pint gets poured, and the drinking buddies vie for the young woman’s attention, it comes to light that Valerie has recently moved into an old house considered by local folk to be “haunted.â€? Sinister mysteries and old wounds are revealed as spine-chilling stories start making the rounds. As the play’s tension and action rush to a climax, the most shocking tale of woe comes from Valerie herself in a superbly delivered, tear-jerking soliloquy that had members of the openingnight audience dabbing their eyes long before her speech was ďŹ nished. Under the eye of San Jose Rep artistic director Rick Lombardo, this production certainly has no weak performances from its ďŹ ve main actors. Sicular’s clever, petulant Jack and Phillips’ jittery but warmhearted Jim were entirely convincing. Glory, for all her ďŹ rst-class acting, needs to work on her accent. Kudos for the subtle but effectively dramatic lighting by Dawn Chiang and the down-toearth scenery and costume designs by Annie Smart. In the end, not much negative can be said about the San Jose Rep’s production of The Weir: it’s a strongly written, enjoyable, haunting tale that stays true to the Irish tradition of hospitality, not to mention it’s an excellent way to spend a dark, rainy midwinter night. Jessica Fromm THE WEIR, a San Jose Repertory Theatre production, plays Tuesday at 7:30pm, Wednesday at 8pm (plus 11am on Feb. 3), Thursday–Friday at 8pm, Saturday at 3 and 8pm and Sunday at 2pm through Feb. 21 at the Rep. 101 Paseo de San Antonio. Tickets are $35–$57. (408.367.7255)

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 STAGE/ART/LIT

ART PREVIEW

South First Fridays VERYONE keeps talking about the death of publishing, but that doesn’t stop the DIY community from creating good old-fashioned handprinted, copyshopped zines of every possible description, topic and profanity level. For the February edition of South First Fridays, Anno Domini Gallery shows off a dazzling array of underground zines that have burbled up from the populist zeitgeist DONNYBROOK Hvz!Cfokbnjo!! blissfully unconcerned about Amazon, CsppltijsfÖt!gpvoe.cppl!dpmmbhft!! E-books or even iBooks. Anybody with an tipx!jo!uif!Qiboupn!Hbmmfsjft/! idea, a stapler and a $50 printer can be the next Gutenberg. The reception for the show, titled “Art of Zines 2010,” comes with live music by Adam Lynn, whose compositions are the aural equivalent of scrapbooking; Zoe Boekbinder of Vermillion Lies; and the experimental art ensemble Corpus Callosum. Elsewhere on the arts drag known as South First Street, the Art Glass Center demos glass-blowing techniques with a Valentine’s Day theme, while WORKS/San José kicks off its “(Anti) Valentine Art Exhibition and Silent Auction.” The storefront displays known as Phantom Galleries showcase the intriguing art-book collage/deconstructions of Guy Benjamin Brookshire’s series “Illustrations From the Book of Dreams.” Caffé Trieste welcomes the abstract paintings of Tamar Belson at a reception including arias by members of Opera San Jose. Downtown Yoga Shala presents bending and stretching photos by Nadia Nasiri; Good Karma Vegan Cafe has DJ sets by Richard Gutierrez and Claude Cardenas to go along with the opening of a show by Benjamin Caprile, who paints landscapes with a surrealist touch. The San Jose Institute of Contemporary Art opens its newest shows, “By a Thread” and “Ted Fullwood: Energy Machines,” with a reception starting at 6pm. Slave Labor Graphics presents “Escape From Dullsville” with artist and writer Andy Ristaino and music by Assemblehead. And last, but certainly not least, Metro opens its lobby for “Heart,” the newest show by the First St. Photo Collective.

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[56] STAGE/ART/LIT

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

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UPCOMING EVENTS AT MONTALVO An Evening with Bob James :: Feb 25, 7:30 pm :: $35/30, Members $31/27 Grammy-winning pianist with more than 30 solo albums. Founder of the jazz ensemble Fourplay. “...his many years of dedication to smooth sounds and rhythms have not diminished his inventiveness or his sense of swing...� - Los Angeles Times

Acoustic Alchemy :: Feb 28, 7:30 pm :: $35/30, Members $31/27 Grammy-nominated British smooth jazz ensemble is a powerhouse force in contemporary jazz. Recognizing Acoustic Alchemy’s outstanding musicianship, All About Jazz writes ...â€?RedeďŹ ning the rules is what Acoustic Alchemy does best.â€?

Ladysmith Black Mambazo :: Mar 10, 7:30 pm :: $50/45, Members $45/40 The legendary South African vocal ensemble, performing for more than 40 years, won a 2009 Grammy for “Ilembe: Honoring Shaka Zulu.� “It isn’t merely the grace and power of their dancing or the beauty of their singing that rivets the attention, but the sheer joy and love that emanates from their being.� - Paul Simon

Women of the Blues: A Tribute to Koko Taylor :: Mar 19, 8 pm :: $32/27, Members $29/24 A tribute to the late Grammy-winning blues genius Koko Taylor presented by J.C. Smith featuring Sista Monica Parker, Pat Wilder & Sharon Lewis. MIDSUMMER’S EVE!!Gps!jut!mbuftu!qspevdujpo-!ÕIpme!Po!up!Mpwf-Ö!Ubcbse!Uifbusf!sfuijolt!!

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All events at the Carriage House Theatre

Tickets: Montalvo Box OfďŹ ce 408.961.5858 M-F, 10am-4pm or ticketmaster.com :: montalvoarts.org

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 FILM

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Essex Lolita

Andrea Arnold’s ‘Fish Tank’ recalls ‘Lolita’ in a hard-scrabble English housing project By Richard von Busack

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HILE Fish Tank is a film about the kind of people who name their dog after a brand of lager, there isn’t an ounce of patronization in it. Director Andrea Arnold’s film is the furthest thing from a slumming expedition, although the material is lurid: the illegal romance between an adult and a 15-year-old girl named Mia (Katie Jarvis) living in a housing estate on the east coast of England. Essex is a place that Londoners make jokes about—or celebrate in slangy form, as in Ian Dury’s song “Billericay Dickie.” According to the BBC, the Mardyke Estate—a set of concrete towers surrounded by postindustrial wasteland—is the most notorious housing development in a 43-square-mile area. Arnold (Red Road) and her photographer, Robbie Ryan, are strangely captivated by the place. The landscapes are bathed in Flemish sea light; titanic rain clouds march overhead. In repeated spins, Bobby Womack’s version of “California Dreamin’” arrives in the same way the original version of the song did in Chungking Express: it adds forlorn romance and lyricism to the views. Mia is a small, thin, feral girl at odds with everyone. She’s a dropout and a delinquent, and the special-ed school gates are gaping wide for her. At home, her lounging mother, Joanne (Kierston Wareing), barely tolerates her; Tyler (Rebecca

Griffiths), her little sister, isn’t a fan either. Mia is always ready to have it out with the pack of teenage girls who roam the housing project’s corridor. Mia’s therapy for the stress is dancing: practicing until she’s breathless in her hideout, the living room of an abandoned flat in this concrete tower. Her mother has just made a real find: Connor (Michael Fassbender), a man with a job. We know this because Mia discovers a pay stub when she helps herself to a fiver out of his wallet. He can do things; he knows how to snatch fish out of a pond with his bare hands. And the bedroom action between Joanne and him is good—we can hear that through the thin walls and see it at the orgiastic party Joanne hosts. Fassbender, of Inglourious Basterds and Hunger, is making fast progress to A-list leading-man status. Fassbender is extremely goodlooking with his shirt off, and he has a soft accent that almost sounds like a New Yorker’s (I doubt if he’ll need any vocal coaching to do American films). All this is gossip compared to what he really has: a serious actor’s humor and humanity. He’s taking a risk, too, playing a character many would be ready to condemn as a molester. But bravery is what marks Arnold, too. Only a female director would know how to chart the mixed emotions behind such a flirtation, or know how to make the sexual tension erotic instead

of creepy, or to be able to make it clear what a young girl like Mia might think she wanted, while really not knowing what she might get. Weirdly, because of the film’s finale, critics have been likening it to An Education—a much more distanced and refined piece of work. To use a metaphor from Fish Tank, the difference between these two movies is like the difference between a live gasping fish and a box of Mrs. Paul’s. The Lolita-like shot of Connor tending Mia’s wounded, unwashed foot reminds us what made that novel work as a story of power gone haywire, out of the usual channel between father-figure and daughter. The lack of preaching in Fish Tank really makes it noteworthy. When Mia takes her revenge, she becomes a brutal child acting out, but the justice of what she’s doing is apparent. Arnold is a fiendishly persuasive director, and she ensures that you see things from Mia’s view. In the last third, when Mia starts to make a run for it, we can see past Essex’s junkyards and tired-looking houses into something wild. This is especially true at the climax at the Thames estuary, where the land ends as abruptly as if it had been chewed away by a steam shovel. This is where a little film gets big: the scene is like the end of a Romantic novel when the elements are brought in to witness the emotional states of the characters on a windy fen or by churning waters.

Katie Jarvis was a nonprofessional picked off a railway platform by Arnold, and she is chillingly good. It also helps that Jarvis isn’t a trained dancer. Although the arts can be a pathway out of the slums for kids, films rarely deal with those who have artsy dreams and loads of energy but only a bit of talent. It comforts the mass audience to believe that sheet talent will always have its way. We can see the girls of Mardyke busting their moves; some of them are even better at it than Mia. One girl practices that walkingup-the-wall move that Donald O’Connor did in Singin’ in the Rain. Arnold stops to watch some teens in a hallway doing their music-video dances: harem girls in search of a pasha, one with a navel jewel lolling out of her plump belly like a tongue. There’s nothing delicate in this world: the concrete, the highways encircling the project, the TV spilling nonstop bilge. Mia’s mother is as negligent as an animal, and yet she’s a real presence, too: she’s true to her own nature. What amazes me most about Fish Tank, finally, is its raw hedonism. It’s rare that a director who has such a sure eye and ear and such sensitivity can understand the bliss of a hard party.

FISH TANK, directed and written by Andrea Arnold, photographed by Robbie Ryan and starring Katie Jarvis and Michael Fassbender, opens Feb. 5 at Camera 3 in San Jose.

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FILM REVIEW

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Reviews by Michael S. Gant and Richard von Busack.

New Cinequest See preview on page 60. Dear John (PG-13; 105 min.) Lasse HallstrĂśm directs a romantic comedy with Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried. (Opens Feb 5.) Edge of Darkness (R; 117 min.) See review on page 59.

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Lion in Winter ‘The Last Station’ tells a ‘Lear’-like story of the ďŹ nal days of Tolstoy

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NE SEEKS the truth; one cherishes idealism. And yet truth and idealism make uncomfortable bedfellows. The problem of Leo Tolstoy’s end is scoped out in Michael Hoffman’s The Last Station, based on Jay Parini’s 1990 novel. It’s an interesting, very well cast, visually pleasant yet strangely toneless ďŹ lm about two sets of lovers who ďŹ nd idealism coming between them. Around 1910 in Moscow, Valentin (James McAvoy, once again playing a callow young person out of his depth) is recruited by one Vladimir Chertkov (Paul Giamatti). Chertkov is the head of the Tolstoy society, dedicated to carrying out the author’s reformist ideas regarding celibacy and manual labor. Valentin’s job will be to live on Tolstoy’s commune, carry a notebook and record the great man’s thoughts. Tolstoy (Christopher Plummer), the most famous writer on earth, is enjoying a sort of Indian summer, watching his minifarm bloom and receiving the adulation of the world. But the count’s countess—Sofya, his wife of nearly 50 years, played by Helen Mirren—has tired of her husband’s utopian politics. As the mother of more than a dozen children, she is terriďŹ ed at the old man’s desire to give all his possessions away. Chertkov, very much the curly-mustached, perfumed parlor snake, is engineering a deal to put War and Peace in the public domain so that the suffering world may have it for free. Meanwhile, Valentin’s desire to stay pure and virginal is sorely tested by a saucy, experienced woman on the commune, Masha (Kerry Condon). OutďŹ tted with the requisite beard, Plummer plays Tolstoy with the gusto of a ham-loving actor tackling Fiddler on the Roof. Plummer has a particularly moving scene describing his long-ago courtship with his wife, and there are juicy scenes of the old couple going after one another in bed and out of bed: a theatrical ruckus. Alas, what wife can bear hearing her husband described as a saint, a new Jesus? Cameramen—paparazzi before there was such a thing—watch the spatting between the Tolstoys and record it all for posterity. This view of Tolstoy, emphasizing the naive sweetness and the common-man heartiness, produces affection but doesn’t fathom the deeper meanings of this story. Hearing of Tolstoy’s renunciation and its consequences, one thinks of King Lear. And one wouldn’t be the ďŹ rst, either: George Orwell wrote a famous essay comparing Tolstoy’s hatred of King Lear to Tolstoy’s Lear-like folly in divesting himself of his property before he actually died. Orwell’s point—that some forms of sacriďŹ ce disguise a covert power play— eludes Hoffman. He gives us Tolstoy as a cracked, principled old grandfather, manipulated by outsiders. We also don’t get any sense of why a sensitive man would want his hands clean in Russia of the day: we hear that the ďŹ lthy peasants are out there being ďŹ lthy, but we don’t see them in their muck or understand who buried them there. The Last Station’s charming greenery and white birches could be ornamenting some exceptionally gilded-by-hindsight memoir: Speak, Memory, maybe. Richard von Busack THE LAST STATION (R; 112 min.), directed and written by Michael Hoffman, based on the novel by Jay Parini, photographed by written by Sebastian Edschmid and starring Christopher Plummer and James McAvoy, opens Feb. 5 at Camera 7 in Campbell, CinĂŠArts Santana Row and the Guild in Menlo Park. (Follow Richard’s reviews at Movietimes.com)

Fish Tank (Unrated; 123 min.) See review on page 57. (Opens Feb 5 at Camera 3 in San Jose.) From Paris With Love (R; 92 min.) Jonathan Rhys Meyers plays a naive ambassadorial employee working with a hardened American spy (John Travolta) to ďŹ ght terrorists in Paris. Sacre blue! (Opens Feb 5.) The Last Station (R; 112 min.) See review at left. (Opens Feb 5 at Camera 7 in Campbell, the Guild in Palo Alto and CinĂŠArts Santana Row.)

Revivals Niles Film Museum Feb 5, 8:30: Pre-Code Follies: Second annual installment of that popular series of ďŹ lms made before the knuckling down to censorship, featuring some risquĂŠ cartoons in 35mm and a live performance by the ever-sensuous Kitten on the Keys. Feb 6, 7:30pm: The Eagle (1925) with Rudolph Valentino as the Black Eagle, masked avenger of the court of Catherine the Great (Louis Dresser). It’s an unusually playful Valentino ďŹ lm. Plus: Felix Tries With Time (1925), as the cat bribes Father Time a nickel to head back into the Stone Age when cats were cats; and Charley Chase in Bromo and Juliet (1926). Bruce Loeb at the piano. (Plays Feb 5-6 in Fremont at the Edison Theater, 37417 Niles Blvd.) (RvB)

Reviews Avatar (PG-13; 162 min.) A victory for people who insist that science ďŹ ction has to be dumb. In the future, Earthling mercenaries are shipped to the planet Pandora, where 9-foottall, blue-skinned noble savages called Na’vi live in a phosphorescent forest full of saurian beasts. Jake (Sam Worthington) is the paraplegic brother of a dead soldier hooked up to a Na’vi shell; the program is under

the direction of a chain-smoking biologist (Sigourney Weaver). While it is a maxim of screenwriting that the plot ought to be the longest distance between two points, James Cameron’s terrible script for this putative end-of-the-decade experience really overworks the principle. The politics play it both ways; letting us swoon over the military hardware and still lament for the plundered forests. After an hour, the drugs wear off, and the appeal of synthespianism starts to drag; motion capture isn’t exactly motion release (compare the synthetic Weaver to the real thing), and the cobbled-together story of eco-rebellion isn’t be eclipsed by the visuals. If you’re going to see it anyway, see it in 3-D. (RvB) The Book of Eli (R; 118 min.) Denzel Washington stars as the usual wanderer on the usual postapocalyptic wastes. The Hughes brothers’ Bible-ogging apocalypso could be read as a Western, but it’s a monomaniacal one. Washington underplays the part of a soft-spoken drifter who deals with a vicious yet zany town boss (Gary Oldman). The ďŹ lm is blessed with actors (Tom Waits, Michael Gambon and a probably synthesized but touching Mr. Bigglesworth cat), but the movie has this pious streak that can’t be overcome. Scriptwriter Gary Whitta, as in the IMDb sentence, “Gary Whitta was editor of PC Gamer for several years,â€? seems to have retroďŹ tted this ďŹ lm from a video game. In the end, it’s hard to overlook the arbitrariness of what survives (sunglasses, high-powered ammo, Hummers, lingerie, cicadas, the Transamerica Pyramid) over what doesn’t (common sense, humans’ unique ability to invent and band together). (RvB) Broken Embraces (R; 127 min.) A sleek, twisty mystery, illuminated by the stunning PenĂŠlope Cruz, the new Pedro AlmodĂłvar is also a sprawler. The James M. Cain–style plot involves a blind ďŹ lm director from Madrid (LuĂ­s Homar). After losing his sight, the ďŹ lmmaker took the ballsy new name “Harry Caineâ€? and became a writer. News of the death of a corrupt tycoon sends Caine back to confront unďŹ nished business—to retrieve the moment 16 years previously where he lost both love and sight. The dead tycoo n in question, a cuckolded millionaire named Ernesto Martel (JosĂŠ Luis GĂłmez), unwillingly shared the love of Caine’s life. Lena, known as Magdalena, was an actress, secretary and part-time prostitute who took as her working-girl name Severine. She, of course, is played by Cruz. No one but AlmodĂłvar knows how to make Cruz really fascinating. She acts out a regular scene we used to see in ’60s movies, an auditioning actress trying on wigs. We see this woman’s modes of glamour. Here are the curves of Sophia Loren, the frailty of Audrey Hepburn. Capped with a tousled platinum wig, Cruz evinces something of Lana Turner in her mankiller parts. The spirits summoned up here aren’t travestied; they’re worshipped. Do we feel for Lena? The ďŹ lm is all a bit too stylized for that. She’s such an imago it’s hard to think of her as a character, despite the moments of love, anger and regret that Cruz acts out. (RvB) Crazy Heart (R; 111 min.) Jeff Bridges is the draw in Scott Cooper’s typical softball Sundancian exercise. It’s a belly-baring role for this terriďŹ c actor, playing Bad Blake, a morose satyr of an outlaw musician. He travels via an ancient 1978 Chevy Suburban and slaps together sets with pickup bands. In his few sober moments, Blake lives with the humiliation of having been commercially surpassed by a country superstar named Billy Sweet (Colin Farrell), who was once one of his backup musicians. Touring in Santa Fe, Bad meets a newspaper reporter named Jean (Maggie Gyllenhaal), who lets Bad pick her up. Despite the credited input by T-Bone Burnett, none of the tunes are really memorable, but you sink into them anyway, and the encircling camera gives the


M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 FILM

Creation (PG-13; 108 min.) Without the crescentshaped beard, Charles Darwin (Paul Bettany) is not just a romantic but also a quivering neurotic. The script by John Collee shows us Darwin in the period leading up to the publishing of On the Origin of Species. He’s a nervous wreck, tormented by the declining health of his beloved daughter Annie (Martha West) and unable to confront his religious wife, Emma (Jennifer Connelly), about his scientiďŹ c ďŹ ndings. Creation is unstuck in time; we have to judge the hairline on Bettany’s toupees to tell us where we are in the tale. Here, then, is one of those biopics that make you want to run straight out of the theater and go ďŹ nd a good book on the subject. Creation tries to remind us of the price Darwin paid for his genius, but here is a father of evolution ďŹ t to please any smooth religious sadist; they can look and say, “We always told you Darwin was insane.â€? (RvB) An Education (PG-13; 95 min.) Lone ScherďŹ g’s British coming-of-age ďŹ lm ends with a marathon session of tea brewing, but it has its good points. The look is cool—1960ish England may be more interesting than the full-blown and overexposed later ’60s. Twickenhamraised Jenny (Carey Mulligan) is studying for Oxford when she gets picked up by David (Peter Sarsgaard), a slightly older rotter; his slightly cruel eyes and at smile forecast trouble to come. Until then, Jenny gets to see London highlife and nightclubs, and voyages to Paris. Smelling class, and wanting to make their hard-working daughter happy, Jenny’s parents (Cara Seymour, Alfred Molina) relax the leash. And that’s when the young girl learns how David makes his money without working days. No one in the movie apparently saw one of those melodramas about the wealthy seducer who steals a poor but honest girl; letting that matter aside, Mulligan is charming, the meet-cute is deft and Olivia Williams bears all the movie’s spine as a deliberately drabbed-down English teacher. Nick Hornby’s screenplay, from Lynn Barber’s memoir, might have meant

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For showtimes, advance tix and more, go to

cameracinemas.com

Best Theaters -- SJ Merc, Metro & Wave Readers Always Plenty of Free Validated Parking All Sites Seniors & Kids $6.75 / Students $7.50 • * = No Passes $7 b4 6pm M-F / 4pm S-S, Holidays • = Final Week = Presented in Sony 4K Digital (C7 only) • Pruneyard/Campbell • 559-6900 • Pruneyard/Campbell • 559-6900

*THE LAST STATION (R) *DEAR JOHN (PG-13) *EDGE OF DARKNESS (R) *CRAZY HEART (R) THE WHITE RIBBON (R) UP IN THE AIR (R) AVATAR in RealD 3D (PG-13) WALKURE (Opera in HD)--Sun 11am/Wed 7pm

• 41 N. Santa Cruz • 395-0203 ITS COMPLICATED (R) PLUS UP IN THE AIR (R) *WHEN IN ROME (PG13)

• 201 S. 2nd St, S.J. • 998-3300 Student Night Wednesdays -- $6 after 6pm *FROM PARIS WITH LOVE (R) *CREATION (NR) *DEAR JOHN (PG-13) *WHEN IN ROME (PG-13) *EDGE OF DARKNESS (R) IT’S COMPLICATED (R) BROKEN EMBRACES (R) PLUS NINE (PG-13) THE LOVELY BONES (PG-13) UP IN THE AIR (R) AVATAR in 3D (PG-13) YOUTH IN REVOLT (R) SHERLOCK HOLMES (PG-13) BOOK OF ELI (R) IMAGIN. OF DR. PARNASSUS (PG-13) LEGION (R)

• 288 S. Second, S.J. • 998-3300 *FISH TANK (NR) AN EDUCATION (R) PLUS PRECIOUS (R)

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FILM REVIEW

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scenes some rhythm. What integrity Crazy Heart doesn’t borrow from Bridges it picks up from the glorious wide-open-spaces cinematography by Barry Markowitz (Sling Blade). (RvB)

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Shoot Me Now Mel Gibson is so angry in ‘Edge of Darkness’ that he can’t move a muscle in his face

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BSORBING in the way that being in a bad mood is absorbing; Edge of Darkness can leave you with something like the malaise that comes with the onset of a 48-hour bug. Only a really Catholic script could have gotten the creator of the ultimate cruciďŹ xion movie back in a starring role for the ďŹ rst time in eight years. Scriptwriters William Monahan and Andrew Bovell have shaped this remake of a 1985 British TV series for Gibson. There’s an inside joke about the actor/director’s knowledge of Latin, for example, and Gibson’s character, police detective Thomas Craven, sums up his moral stance: “Either you’re hanging from the cross, or you’re banging in the nails.â€? Where that particular either/or leaves a movie audience is a matter of debate. Craven is a bereaved dad, as well as judge, jury, executioner and bailiff, so he likes to do a bit of both hanging and hammering. Returning from her new home, a lefty town in rural Massachusetts, the cop’s daughter, Emma (Bojana Novakovic), arrives for a visit. Emma is unwell. She tries to tell her father about the real nature of her new job, but on the front porch, she’s the victim of a drive-by shooting. Damming up the pain and leaving his fellow coppers out of the loop, Craven goes on search for the killers. The trail leads to Emma’s workplace, a sinister governmentrun nuclear facility overlooking the Connecticut River. Meanwhile, the feds send out an operative of their own, Jedburgh. He is played by a sleek Ray Winstone, by miles the best thing in this movie. Dourer than ever, Gibson tries to ďŹ ll the function of the blank detective in a vortex of weirdos. But Edge of Darkness doesn’t have enough weirdos, even though Danny Huston tries his best as the plant’s evil operator, Bennett. Up until the ďŹ nal shootouts, which are brisk as ďŹ recrackers, Edge of Darkness plods through its one-clue-per-scene story. The visuals are mud in your eye, and when you think that the reason Craven’s house is so brown is because he’s in a constant moral/religious crisis, we see the inside of Emma’s at. It’s photographed the same way, and the only difference is that she has some more insouciant refrigerator magnets. Edge of Darkness has no women to speak of, except for two victims and one female reporter. The solution to the mystery is recorded as a video diary—as exposition, it’s the least satisfying way to solve the problem. And it’s hard to forgive a director who has the hero hold the villain at gunpoint and then let him go. The paranoia is politically nondenominational. With its scheming senators, sinister SUVs and Taxachussets bashing, tea baggers would love it. Craven gives the head of some kind of eco-looney group called “Nightowerâ€? a good old-fashioned punching out, even though the punched one headed a group that was also trying to bring the villain to rights. Not having any hope in justice whatsoever, the movie gets moony-metaphysical. This too must have attracted Gibson. During an eye exam, Jedburgh asks his doctor, “Do you see a soul in there?â€? We can see two of them at the end: the movie’s hell-on-Earth, heaven-in-the-next-world ďŹ nale is worthy of a Christmas movie. Richard von Busack

OPENS 2/12! VALENTINE’S DAY

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EDGE OF DARKNESS (R; 117 min.), directed by Martin Campbell, written by William Monahan and Andrew Bovell, photographed by Phil Meheux and starring Mel Gibson and Ray Winstone, plays valleywide.


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FILM FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

RUSSIA HOUSE Jo!ÕCbcojl-Ö!b!zpvoh!nbo!hfut!jowpmwfe!jo!uif!tljo!usbef/

Skin Game Alejandro Adams’ ‘Babnik’ is one of the real treats on tap at Cinequest 20

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RECENT Russian immigrant named Artem (Artem Mishin) gets kind of fired by his two jolly bosses at what is apparently a Silicon Valley telemarketing job. As told in Alejandro Adams’ new film, Babnik, one of the more intriguing features slated for this year’s Cinequest, Artem had tried to ingratiate himself with the bosses by coming in on a weekend. This just creeped them out. The bosses didn’t want Artem hanging out, and they tell him so. Artem goes home, and he has to explain to his wife that his bosses “kind of implied” that they want him to go part time. The weasel phrase “kind of implied” sums up Adams’ work, whether Around the Bay or Canary. Babnik—maybe the Palo Alto filmmaker’s best yet—examines a group of work places. Adams gives us a sex-, violence- and scandal-free view of the skin trade. Just as a beatnik means a person who’s into beat culture, a “babnik” means a man who’s into the babes. The immigrant Russians we see here work different scams. They provide personnel for soft-core and hard-core porn. They hang out together, including Misha, who looks kindly and hippiesh (he’s played by Michael Umansky, who is excellent). Adams zeroes in on some almost healed skin on Misha’s knuckles, and this tells us that he has used his fists at some point. Mir is the cute one brought in to comfort skittish new girls. There is also a formidable enforcer—the shaven-headed Slav, Sasha. Adams found the right faces, but he also seems to have the milieu right. We see this particularly when Misha recites a sales script of his own. His scheme is to get desperate photo models indebted to him, selling them cosmetics they can’t afford as a term of their hire. Misha’s sales script reflects back to Artem’s problem. The telephone-sales bosses had a bone to pick with Artem because he was reciting a sales pitch by rote, instead of adding his own words to it. The women in Babnik are in the “kind of implying” trade, hanging out at the afterhours bar where Russians play cards. Here, the desperate Artem loses more than he can afford and ends up indebted to the pimps. The women here have the sharp, expectant look of the performers in Toulouse Lautrec posters: the busty hostess who brings in the vodka as well as the b-girls aimlessly fluffing men’s shoulders. Babnik looks investigated. Adams and co-writer Marya Murphy make the criminals appear authentic through the hustler’s air of nonchalance, through the assured editing, through spaces that go dialogue-free. Some spots have untranslated dialogue, a method for tightening suspense that’s been used as far back as Fritz Lang’s Man Hunt. I stuck with Artem’s story as one way of writing about this film. But Artem isn’t the film’s hero or villain. Other threads can be followed throughout: the story of Nice Guy Misha, or the wee baby-faced girl who hangs out with these affable pimps—or, for that matter, the one really innocent character in the film: a young Russian immigrant, his face as closed as a fist, who pushes a broom at the local deli. Working with no budget and local locations, Adams has burnished all the falsehood out of this fiction. With Babnik, Adams is no longer a local genius but a national contender. Richard von Busack BABNIK (Unrated; 81 min.), directed by Alejandro Adams and written by Adams and Marya Murphy, plays Feb. 26 and March 3 at Cinequest. (See Cinequest.org for schedule details.)

*.

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FILM REVIEW

he had input on the film’s excellent pre– Swinging London soundtrack. Singer Beth Rowley steals the show as the breathy canary at one nightspot. (RvB) Extraordinary Measures (PG; 105 min.) Two children of an Oregon businessman are doomed to die of a rare disease. Fearlessly, the father quits his job and starts a new career financing the development of an experimental drug. The search means recruiting an

unappreciated researcher on the subject: crusty Cornhusker Dr. Robert Stonehill (Harrison Ford), the T-shirt-wearing, pickup-truck-driving kind of physician they customarily build medical shows around. Then comes the conflict: Stonehill, as per his indomitable name, goes up against the internally bleeding family man John Crowley (Brendan Fraser), who knows how to wear a suit and beat the bushes for money. Ford’s performance is funny at first, and then becomes a one-note sonata. He bellows “Get the hell out of my

lab” more than once. Ford is headed for curmudgeonness, a good living; in a year or two, shave his head, and he’ll be able to play Dick Cheney. Fraser is, like Ford, a good actor caught in the mangle of franchisemaking machinery. One never loses faith in Fraser, but he needs to look for tougher material to go with his new fleshiness: a sharp bastard, a crooked sheriff. (RvB) Legion (R; 100 min.) Paul Bettany, Lucas Black and Tyrese Gibson star in a futuristic thriller about human survival. It takes place in a diner.


M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 FILM The Lovely Bones (PG-13; 135 min.) In Pennsylvania in the early 1970s,14-year-old Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) is lured into an underground lair and raped and murdered by a neighbor. From the antechamber to heaven, Susie watches what else happens to her family in the years that come. What keeps Susie from moving on, it seems, is her murderer. He has killed before and may kill again: an element of vigilantism keeps Peter Jackson’s animation-gilded fantasy from looking too much like the cover of a Jehovah’s Witness pamphlet about heaven. Alice Sebold’s book was a success because it played into a favorite adolescent daydream: “If I were dead, they’d be sorry.” First-rate production design makes this surpass The Ice Storm as the ultimate dense ’70s visual time capsule. The most satisfying moments come in the too-orderly lair of the maniac (a dreadfully miscast Stanley Tucci). Not much help from Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz as the parents; barn-door broad yet somehow welcome moments of comedy relief are provided by Susan Sarandon. Ronan is an effectively macabre staring angel, but she’s not quite the book’s mousy, nerdish girl turned into a master of a universe. (RvB) Nine (PG-13, 115 min.) Federico Fellini’s 8 1/2 (1963) is boiled down to a musical series of celebs in pushup bras. An Italian film director, Guido (Daniel Day-Lewis), has announced an ambitious new film project. But Guido has no idea what the film is going to be, and the time to start shooting is coming up. Director Rob Marshall (Chicago) has calmed the camerawork down—he’s previously been an addict of fast cutting to make a group of mostly nonsingers and nondancers to look like lightfooted showstoppers. But only Marion Cotillard, as Guido’s much-spurned wife, delivers a number that leaves an aftereffect. As Guido’s mistress, Penélope Cruz is edible (if slightly self-conscious) sliding down a satin banister. Nicole Kidman is the pedestal girl, inserted into a strapless evening gown that makes her look like a single arrow in a quiver. Kate Hudson is the Yank journalist who only pays attention to the surfaces of Italian film—something else that can be said against this movie. What we see in Nine is not an artist in peril of his soul; what we’re really seeing in these musical fantasies is essentially the problems of a creatively blocked choreographer. (RvB) Sherlock Holmes (PG-13; 128 min.) There are moments during Sherlock Holmes when you wish you could hit director Guy Ritchie with his own storyboard; there are bone-crushing fights that you feel like applauding just to celebrate the fact that they’re over at last. Yet all in all, Sherlock Holmes is ripping fun. Robert Downey Jr.’s expert acting reflects Aldous Huxley’s thought that if you could open the doors of perception, you would see the world as it is: infinite. This insight sums up the mind of the world’s greatest detective—it also sums up the mind of a schizophrenic. Downey’s Holmes is a dandy in high Victorian regalia, smoked glasses, ascots and the kind of slanted hats worn in Oscar Wilde’s circle. But we also see another side of Holmes—a hermit crab in a dank flat, huddled under a silk dressing gown so raveled it looks shaggy as a bear skin. Mark Strong’s Lord Blackwood is apprehended by Holmes in mid–black mass and ushered in to a well-deserved hanging. Naturally, Inspector Lestrade (Eddie Marsan) decides that the case is closed. But it seems the grave cannot hold Blackwood. Holmes is approached by two different clients: the ever-troublesome Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams) and the head of a Masons-like group, who are troubled by the specter of Blackwood. The movie keeps coming back to a serene partnership—when Holmes says “The game’s afoot,” Jude Law’s formidable Watson picks up the rest of the Henry V quote. (RvB)

A Single Man (R; 99 min.) Tom Ford’s adaptation of Christopher Isherwood’s novel, essential reading in the gay canon. Colin Firth plays professor George Falconer, an Englishman in Los Angeles in the early 1960s. He’s a bereaved figure; being in the closet, he isn’t permitted to show his sorrow after the death of his longtime male lover in an automobile accident. This grieving single man’s secret is known only to his friend Charlotte, called Charley (Julianne Moore), also a former flame, who has never quite got over George. Falconer has another secret, though: he is putting his affairs in order, with the plan of committing suicide that night. Certainly, Firth looks like a man of the era in question. Moore practically mainlined her eye shadow to get that zonked 1960s aura. Despite the opera on A Single Man’s soundtrack, it couldn’t be less operatic: nothing seems like a matter of life and death. The film is beautiful, but it’s not the kind of beauty one can feel much about. Ford is good with the placement of actors on a set; he’s a tableau maker. The fine clothes don’t make the men. (RvB) Tooth Fairy (PG; 101 min.) It might rekindle your child’s faith in the tooth fairy, but it won’t do their faith in the movies any good. Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. the Rock, stars as a mean hockey player on the skids in Lansing, Mich. His remark about the nonexistence of the tooth fairy makes the fairies enslave him for two weeks. Once-hot scriptwriters Babaloo Mendel and Lowell Ganz have had their script amended, but it’s a real end-of-the-line project with Ashley Judd (as Johnson’s girlfriend) looking the most likely to be carried down by the wreck. Johnson tries to fluff the movie but there’s no help there, either; Chase Ellison as the teenage son is, oddly, the noteworthy performance; some might think that director Michael Lembeck let Ellison play the kid as too troubled, but at least there’s a sense in him of troubles too big to be healed by the usual “dream big” speeches. Billy Crystal is mucho bad as fairyland’s gadget expert. Julie Andrews, as the head fairy, goes beyond self-parody into a look of near pain; she recalls her old foe Pauline Kael’s comment: “They may have forgotten how to make good movies in Hollywood, but at least they’re good at preserving people.” (RvB)

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When in Rome (PG-13) A romantic comedy with Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel. The Young Victoria (PG; 104 min.) Unforgivably static, despite the fascinating subject: the early and often unpopular years of the longest-reigning and most iron-bottomed British royal who ever lived. As Victoria, the lovely and suitably aristocratic Emily Blunt is the best part of this story. Treated with brutal overcaution and surveillance by her mother, the Duchess of Kent (Miranda Richardson), and her friend (perhaps with benefits) Lord Conroy, the girl is kept locked up and escorted down all stairs as if she were a brittle-boned child. When she grows older, her cousin Albert (Rupert Friend) comes to court, and this starts a romance, tainted with scheming by the power in Albert’s family, the perfidious Belgian king (Thomas Kretschmann). Director Jean-Marc Valée slows things down and smooths over the complexities of history; matters get simplified to the point where it seems like nothing is going on in the world outside the problem of Victoria trying to get some time alone with Albert. The sketchy background and the slow pace bring on the familiar PBS-watcher’s narcosis. (RvB)

The White Ribbon (R; 144 min.) In the insignificant village of Eichwald (“Oakwood”), just before World War I, we hear a series of stories. These stories concern acts of violence that disturbed the orderly progression of the years. The events are narrated by an old man who was, long ago, the town’s vacantlooking schoolteacher (Christian Friedel). He advises us that everything we will see is based on things half-heard and halfremembered. We can take this ineffectual man’s word for it. Clues pass him by, and he can’t provide a solid resolution for the story. He doesn’t seem to understand that Eichwald is poisoned, root and branch. The schoolteacher comments that what we see will help us understand “the events that came after.” By “the events,” director Michael Haneke may mean Germany’s next 30 years after 1914. Eichwald is a serpent’segg hatchery: the village’s obedient children will be participants in the kaiser’s war and Hitler’s crime wave. (RvB)

presents the finest American Orchid Society & Cymbidium’s America Judged Show

Fri. Feb 5 - 7pm- 9pm Sat. Feb 6 - 10am-6pm Sun. Feb 7 - 10am-5pm

There will be orchids displays, lectures, demonstrations & More than 3,000 special orchids for sales.

Vallco Shopping Mall 10123 N. Wolfe Road, Cupertino CA (Hwy 280 & Stevens Creek Blvd, near JC Penney)

www.malihini.org


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FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

A Showcase of Craft Brews and Fine Eats Breweries & Beer Experts from Belmont to Santa Cruz will share their delicious brews & beer knowledge, paired with “Beer-B-Que,” hand crafted pizzas, sausages, even beer cupcakes! E

cy

ergen m BBQ

Who will beer there?

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Saturday February 13th, 1-5pm Tied House Distribution Warehouse: 1627 S 7th Street, San Jose $35 Beer and Food Tasting; $20 Designated Driver Price For More Information, Please Visit www.TiedHouse.com, Email meatthebrewers@gmail.com or Call Tied House at 650-965-BREW (2739). Ask for Carolyn Hopkins, Marketing and Events Director.


METROGUIDE

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 MUSIC

[63]

Ronnie_67 Dwares_68 Classical Moves_70 Lizzy Borden_72

Side With Her

Lisa Hampton gives her favorite local bands an outlet on her Side With Us label By Jody Amable

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OR a town where bands are relegated to playing in bowling alleys, arcades and church rec rooms, Lisa Hampton’s one-woman operation Side With Us Records is fantastically sophisticated. Hampton uses Side With Us as a test kitchen for new ideas. New ideas like not taking starving guitarists for all they’re worth. She’s less interested in turning a profit than she is in helping out local bands. “A label is all kind of relative,” she says. “Some people will tell me, ‘You know, you could be getting more money out of them.’ I could, but . . .” she says, scrunching up her nose a little. “To me, this label is a way to say, ‘I’m here and I believe in what you’re doing.’” The bands she represents agree. “She’s great,” says Evan Jewett, guitarist in Worker Bee. “Being on Side With Us is not like being on a label. First of all, we never had to sign anything,” he says with a laugh. “It’s like having a friend.” Before Worker Bee embarked on a tour last year, Hampton asked for a list of the cities they’d be stopping in, so she could contact all the local record stores about carrying their CD.

She has also managed to set up a small U.K. distribution for them. Hampton has an overwhelming presence—she talks fast and moves fast, and channels her kinetic energy into Side With Us. The label only officially launched in November 2009, but thanks to her tireless work, it’s gaining impressive momentum. “She’s so helpful,” says Jesse from the Record Winter, a San Jose band on Side With Us that’s heating up fast. “She does a lot. She advertises a lot for us, really puts herself out there.” Hampton also has an eye for design. When she pulls her business card out of her wallet, she’s quick to point out a printing error on the logo. “See, they cut it off wrong. It should have been here.” She originally lent that skill to longtime San Jose promoter Eric Fanali, once she returned home to Los Gatos after studying design in England for six years. She made promotional posters for Fanali and worked the door at his shows when she could. After a while, she started playing around with the idea of starting a label, and asked Fanali to start one with her. He wasn’t interested, but he had a vast network of contacts he was

willing to share to help her get it off the ground. This is not an idea she dreamed up overnight. In college, she gave dissertations on the business of major and indie labels.

Hampton’s latest project is PostCode, an online catalog of Side With Us music that a friend built for her. Hampton sells posters for bands on her roster, stamped on the back with a URL. Having played in bands for years, and currently playing in two on the Side With Us roster,

Hampton was more than familiar with the inner workings of labels, big and small. “Running a label and being in a band is like owning a place and being a renter at the same time.” Hampton’s latest project is PostCode, an online catalog of Side With Us music that a friend built for her. Hampton sells posters for bands on her roster, stamped on the back with a URL and a unique code that users can enter into a form to receive a zip file of a band’s album. Mike Park of Cupertino’s venerable Asian Man Records has already put his catalog on the PostCode system, and Streetlight will be carrying PostCode posters for Hampton’s band, Tourister, later this month. “It taps into something a lot of people complain about—with downloads, you don’t get the art that might come with a CD or a record.” She designed the Tourister poster herself. Though she’s got what most people would consider a full plate, she still works with Fanali. “I still make posters for him, and I think I worked the door at almost every show last year. He jokingly calls me Miss Moneypenny,” she says with a laugh and a wide grin that bares most of her teeth. M


[64] GALLERY

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

gallery

photos.metroactive.com

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[66] MUSIC

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

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Ronnie GDCC>: B6<GD! i]Z igVh]"iVa`^c\! :aV^cZ 7ZcZhÄYVcX^c\ _j^XZ"]ZVY [gdb BIKÉh gjcVlVn hjXXZhh ?ZghZn H]dgZ! bVn ]VkZ hldgc cdi id [Vaa ^c adkZ Vi i]Z h]dgZ! Wji ]Z Y^YcÉi hVn cji]^cÉ VWdji i]Z Hdji] 7Vn# Cdl lZ `cdl! lZ `cdl! ]ZÉh hjeedhZYan hi^aa l^i] XVhi bViZ HVbb^ ÆHlZZi]ZVgiÇ <^VcXdaV! Wji ^[ i]Z h]dl ^h Vcn \j^YZ! i]Z ild l^aa ]VkZ hea^i [dg Vi aZVhi Vc ]djg dg hd ^c i]Z XdjghZ d[ ]^h VeeZVgVcXZ Vi EZVga! WZ[dgZ V iZVg[ja gZXdcX^a^Vi^dc VcY ZcjbZgVi^dc d[ dcZ Vcdi]ZgÉh b^hiV`Zh# AVY^Zh! ndj XdjaY WZ i]Vi b^hiV`Z# 7ji XVkZVi ZbeidgÅV XajW VeeZVgVcXZ ild lZZ`h V\d l^i] XVhi bZbWZgh ZcYZY ^c WgVla^c\ VcY [djg VggZhih! VcY <dY `cdlh Gdc"Gdc hi^aa ]Vh V [Zl dcZ"h]di ldcYZgh aZ[i ^c i]Vi g^\]i ]dd`# Jessica Lussenhop

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RONNIE MAGRO appears on Friday (Feb. 5) at Pearl, 8 S. First St., San Jose. Call 408.279.4444 or go to www.pearlsj.com for details.

DE:C B>8$ ED:IGN

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[70] MUSIC

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

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Classical Moves ;DG >IH Òghi d[[Zg^c\ d[ i]Z cZl nZVg! HjchZi 8dcXZgih Vi Hi# Aj`ZÉh egZhZcih FjVgiZid K^kVXZ 7gVh^a! [ZVijg^c\ \j^iVg^hih GdWZgi 8daX]^Zhfj^ VcY :Yhdc AdeZh! Óji^hi IVYZj 8dZa]d VcY eZgXjhh^dc^hi GdYg^\d BVg^cdc^d# ;dg ^ih Òghi hl^c\ i]gdj\] i]Z Jc^iZY HiViZh! i]Z \gdje l^aa eZg[dgb V [Vg"gZVX]^c\ egd\gVb d[ XaVhh^XVa [Vkdg^iZh! iVc\dh! hVbWV VcY gV\h! l^i] ldg`h [gdb YZ ;VaaV! 7^oZi! =VcYZa! E^VoodaaV VcY K^aaV"AdWdh# Michael S. Gant QUARTETO VIVACE BRASIL performs Saturday (Feb. 6) at 8pm at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church, 20 University Ave., Los Gatos. Tickets are $10–$25. (408.354.4560)

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FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010

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SPUTIN

MUSIC & DVDS The Album Leaf A Chorus of Storytellers

Sub Pop Recorded in Seattle and mixed in Iceland by Sigur Ros’ Birgir Jon Birgisson, this is WKH ¿UVW $OEXP /HDI GLVF UHFRUGHG ZLWK D OLYH EDQG LQ ¿YH DOEXPV 7KH UHVXOW LV PRUH organic, yet still multi-tiered and absorbing. Perhaps their best album yet!

10.99

CAMPBELL 1820 S. Bascom Ave across from the Pruneyard MOUNTAIN VIEW 630 San Antonio Blvd. at El Camino Real 800-350-8700 www.rasputinmusic.com


[72] MUSIC

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

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EITHER THAT’S GREAT MAKEUP-!ps!Mj{{z!Cpsefo!ibwf!cffo! tipdl.spdljoh!tp!mpoh!uifzÖsf!cfhjoojoh!up!efdpnqptf/

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LIZZY BORDEN performs Thursday (Feb. 4) at 9pm at the Avalon, 777 Lawrence Expwy., Santa Clara. Tickets are $10. (408.241.0777)

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> lVh V ldbVc"jh^c\ _Zg` ^c bn '%h! Wji > bZcYZY bn lVnh! hideeZY X]Vh^c\ Vgb"XVcYn VcY hdj\]i V gZaVi^dch]^e l^i] hjWhiVcXZ# I]^h ldbVc [gdb XdaaZ\Z hjeea^Zh ZmVXian l]Vi > h]djaY lVci# =dlZkZg! dc djg Òghi YViZ! h]Z hV^Y ]Zg aVhi Wdn[g^ZcY X]ZViZY dc ]Zg! VcY h]ZÉh Èfj^i eaVn^c\ i]Z \VbZ#É H]ZÉh Vahd X]dhZc V a^[ZhinaZ Vh ÈdcZ d[ i]Z \jnh!É ZkZc iVa`^c\ VcY XVggn^c\ dc a^`Z i]Zb# 6 aZhW^Vc hdXXZg iZVb b^hiV`Zcan ^ck^iZY ]Zg id _d^c# >chiZVY d[ ign^c\ id Zci^XZ bZ! h]Z lVh Wajci dc YViZ dcZ! X]VaaZc\^c\ bZ id VXXZei dg gZ_ZXi ]Zg Vh V \^ga[g^ZcY# H]Z ZkZc eji dji l^i] cd ldg` [gdb bZ# LZ Yd ]VkZ bVcn h]VgZY ^ciZgZhih! VcY hiVgiZY V gZaVi^dch]^e! Wji hdbZi]^c\Éh b^hh^c\# BVnWZ ^[ h]ZÉY WZZc bdgZ bnhiZg^djh! V a^iiaZ ]VgY"id"\Zi! >ÉY WZ bdgZ ^cid ]Zg# Dg! ^[ h]ZÉY YgZhh hZmn ^chiZVY d[ _dX`n"[gjben# L]Zc >ÉkZ \^c\Zgan VYYgZhhZY i]ZhZ ^hhjZh! h]Z i]^c`h >Éb ign^c\ id ÈbdY^[nÉ ]Zg# > \jZhh h]Z ]Vh i]^h [V^gn"iVaZ hXg^ei l]ZgZ HjeZgbVc hlZVih WZ^c\ l^i] ;gjben 7Ziin WZXVjhZ ]ZÉh Èhd YZZe#É 7ji! >Éb cdi HjeZgbVcÅ_jhi V ine^XVa YjYZ l]dhZ lVcYZg^c\ b^cY `ZZeh \Zii^c\ ^c[VijViZY l^i] \^gah l]d VgZ hb^aZn"XjiZ VcY Ó^gin# ÅIgn^c\ When people ask, “So, how’d you two lovebirds meet?” you don’t want them guessing your answer will be something along the lines of “Standing next to each other at the urinal.” Some women find a nice guy; some women just become one. Unfortunately, a woman won’t keep a guy from cheating on her by wearing Carhartt or buying her lingerie in packs of three in the men’s department. Some guys do like the sportier girls—the kind who camp and wear boots made for walking, and not just for those perilous 26 steps from the car to the restaurant. But, even for those guys, there have to be hints of girlyness—enough so you can tell who’s the girl and who’s the boy without doing a look-see down everybody’s Levis. Besides, as you surely know, it’s hard enough being faithful to a really sexy woman, let alone one whose idea of staging a seduction involves undoing the top button of her flannel work jacket and burping suggestively. Men like to chase things. They’re the hunters of the species. They don’t like to be gathered. But, we live in modern times!

Yes, we do, but psychologically, we’re all still living in the cave. So, you want to want your girlfriend, but she never even gave you the chance to try to deal her into bed. All it took was complying as she dragged you there. Then this relationship fell on you like the house in The Wizard of Oz. You never got to experience falling for her (which probably wouldn’t have happened anyway, considering she shops exclusively in The I Don’t Care Collection, and had an entire lesbian soccer team under the impression that the last thing she wants to do is attract a man). As bad as you feel about being with girls for their hotitude alone, you aren’t a better guy for sticking with this one for her lack of it. In fact, this supposedly noble act of yours has unhappy ending written all over it. A wiser, kinder approach is coming up with six or seven bare minimums for what you need in a partner—the stuff you can’t live without, from looks to character. You can have a relationship of substance—once you admit that it has to include substances like lipgloss, and a girlfriend who can get in touch with her feminine side without hiring a private detective.

>Éb hi^aa ^c XdciVXi! k^V ZbV^a! l^i] V \jn > bZi dc V YVi^c\ h^iZ V nZVg V\d# LZ lZci dji il^XZ! dc V eaVidc^X WVh^h# LZÉkZ Y^hXjhhZY bV`^c\ eaVch [dg i]^h lZZ`ZcY# >[ ]Z YdZhcÉi XVaa! > bVn \d dji l^i] Vcdi]Zg \jn# 7ZXVjhZ > YdcÉi [ZZa Vh higdc\an VWdji i]Z cZlZg \jn! h]djaY > Òghi ÒcY dji l]Vi [ZZa^c\h! ^[ Vcn! i]Z YVi^c\ h^iZ \jn ]Vh [dg bZ! VcY Y^hXjhh i]Vi4 >ÉY [ZZa a^`Z V W^i d[ V ÈX]ZViÉ ^[ hdbZi]^c\ ]VeeZcZY l^i] \jn cjbWZg ild# Å8dcÓ^XiZY Here you are, two lovers, torn asunder by fate—or rather, the fact that one lover totally forget about the existence of the other until he got a little high and dry on JDate. What do you tell guy number one? Well, first you wait for him to call. Then, if he asks you out, tell him a time that works

for you. Period. Men are not known as the chattier sex. In fact, it’s usually safe to assume they don’t want to talk about it. Even if they’re in a relationship with you. And especially if they’re in a relationship with you that’s best described as “We’re still in contact, via email.”

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010

CLASSIFIEDS

metro CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIED INDEX 75 77 78 78

PLACING AN AD 79 76 78 79

Single Services Employment Family Services Music

Legal & Public Notices Automotive Home Improvement Real Estate

.

Manager

g Employment Jobs

Technical Cisco Systems, Inc. is accepting resumes for the following positions in San Jose/Milpitas/ Santa Clara, CA: Test Engineer (Ref#: SJ16): Build test equipment and test diagnostics for new products based on manufacturing designs. Manager, Software Development (Ref # SJ23): Lead a team in the design and development of company’s hardware or software products. Reliability Engineer (Ref # SJ63): Drive company reliability requirements with respect to solder joint reliability to support the qualifications of Pb-free (lead free) interconnect technologies. Please mail resumes with reference number to Cisco Systems, Inc., Attn: J51W, 170 W. Tasman Drive, Mail Stop: SJC 5/1/4, San Jose, CA 95134. No phone calls please. Must be legally authorized to work in the U.S. without sponsorship. EOE.

Manager PricewaterhouseCoopers, LLP has an opportunity for the following position in San Jose, CA. Manager. Reqs. recent exp w/managing a team involved in mgt of expatriate & alien income tax returns. 5 yrs of current public acct or audit exp in a Big 4, nat acct firm, or top local CPA firm. 4 yrs of recent indiv tax & expatriate tax compliance & conslt exp. rel to cost projections, payroll tax issues & various types of tax analysis. CPA, EA, or eligible to sit for CPA exam. Travel req. Reqs. incl. Bachelor’s deg in Acct, Bus Admin, or Fin & 5 yrs recent exp. Mail resume to Attn: HR SSC/Talent Mgt, 3109 W. MLK Jr. Blvd., Tampa, FL 33607, Ref #SJHFO. Must be legally authorized to work in the U.S. w/out sponsorship. EOE

MOVIE EXTRAS NEEDED Earn $150 to $300 Per Day. All Looks, Types and Ages. Feature Films, Television, Commercials, and Print. No Experience Necessary. 1-800-340-8404 x3501 (AAN CAN)

IT Systems Analyst Send recume to QCH, Inc., 45630 Northport Loop East, Fremont, CA 94538. Attn: HR

[77]

PricewaterhouseCoopers, LLP has an opportunity for the following position in San Jose, CA.

Engineering

Sr. Research Engineer for Los Altos, CA, work loc. Conduct scientific research/prototyping of automotive applics on serManager. Reqs. recent exp vices & mobile platforms, permanaging large, complex form research, analysis & enterprise transform engagedevelop. of Android operating ments, entry point assess & system; dvlp applics. Req: operat strategy proj. Recent Master’s deg (or equiv.) in exp in leading & delivering Comp. Sci., + 2 yrs exp. in job engagements w/ leading high- or as s/ware engr. Fax resume tech OEM, Distrib, Consumer to Deutsche Telekom, Inc., Electro/Packaged Goods or ISV Attn: Kathy Dallas (650) 335co in customer & supply chain 4101. operat arena; Supply Chain & Custom Operat effect & perENGINEER form improvement proj; Prog Ariba, Inc. has the following mgt/ Subject Matter Expert job opportunity available in exp; complex Oracle &/or SAP Sunnyvale, CA: led bus operat re-engineering & transform proj; Quote to Sr. Software Engineer Cash Cycle; Customer Order (SSE94089): Provide technical Mgt; Sales & Operat Planning, leadership to product group Invent Mgt, Supply Chain that builds test frameworks Visibility & Intelligence, and infrastructure to support Custom Srvc Mgt, Pricing & test automation for all Ariba Deal Mgt; Order Mgt for applications. Channel Operat; Order Fulfillment for direct & indirect Submit resumes to Ariba, Inc., channels. Travel req. Reqs. incl. Attn: Laura A. Carney, 210 Bachelor’s deg in Eng, Bus, Sixth Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA Operations, Info Sys, or related 15222. Must reference job title & 7 yrs recent exp. and job code (SSE94089) to be considered. EOE. Mail resume to HR SSC/Talent Mgt, 3109 W. MLK Jr. Blvd., Managers & Trainees Tampa, FL 33607, Ref #SJSIY. Wanted Must be legally authorized to (No Layoffs Here) work in the U.S. w/out sponNeed 6 people F/T and 10 peosorship. EOE. ple P/T to help me with my business. Full training- Start Now. Call Jerry. 408/750-7250 House Manager-QLM Xllnt opp. to work w/developmentally disabled in Computer San Jose group home. Valid CA PricewaterhouseCoopers, LLP has an opportunity for the folDL & clean DMV, some exp. lowing position in San Jose, CA. pref. FT with some on-call. Benefits/Tuition Reimb. Call Director. Reqs. 7 to 9 yrs of 916/202-2472 recent progressive IT consultFax: 530/406-1962 ing exp with a Big 4 or compaEmail: mnobile@rescare.com rable IT Mgt consulting firm w/ recent in-depth understating of current ID Mgt Tech & recent Financial Specialist exp w/the following: acting in Hewlett-Packard Company is a managerial capacity for at accepting resumes for least 2 yrs; delivering projects Financial Specialist in involving the dev. of Enterprise Cupertino, CA (Ref. Security Archit, Security #CUPRRA1). Provide direct Assessments & Reviews, & bus finance support for the WorldWide (WW) Partner Sales analysis for security or ID Mgt; deploying ID Mgt solutions in Support Organization within an enterprise environment; WW Solutions Partners deploying enterprise directory; Organization focused on expense management, general exp w/at least one of the following: iPlanet, Critical Path, business metrics, & Cost/Benefit Analysis process MS Active Directory or Novell. Travel req. Reqs. incl. associated with IT Plan Of Bachelor’s deg in CS, MIS, Record planning. Please mail Material Sci or related eng field resumes with reference num& 9 yrs recent exp or Master’s ber to: Ref. #CUPRRA1, deg & 7 yrs recent exp. Hewlett-Packard Company, 19483 Pruneridge Avenue, MS 4206, Cupertino, CA 95014. No Mail resume to Attn: HR SSC/Talent Mgt, 3109 W. MLK phone calls please. Must be Jr. Blvd., Tampa, FL 33607, Ref. legally authorized to work in #SJMVE. Must be legally the U.S. without sponsorship. authorized to work in the U.S. EOE. w/out sponsorship. EOE

our offices Monday through Friday, 8.30am Visit to 5.30pm at 550 South, First Street, San Jose.

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Computer

Computer

PricewaterhouseCoopers, LLP has an opportunity for the following position in San Jose, CA.

Hewlett-Packard Company has an opportunity for the following position in Cupertino, CA.

Director. Reqs. 7 to 9 yrs of recent progressive IT consulting exp with a Big 4 or comparable IT Mgt consulting firm w/ recent in-depth understating of current ID Mgt Tech & recent exp w/the following: acting in a managerial capacity for at least 2 yrs; delivering projects involving the dev. of Enterprise Security Archit, Security Assessments & Reviews, & bus analysis for security or ID Mgt; deploying ID Mgt solutions in an enterprise environment; deploying enterprise directory; exp w/at least one of the following: iPlanet, Critical Path, MS Active Directory or Novell. Travel req. Reqs. incl. Bachelor’s deg in CS, MIS, Material Sci or related eng field & 9 yrs recent exp or Master’s deg & 7 yrs recent exp.

Technical Solutions Consultant: Reqs exp in applics supported by sys/ntwrk/web/db administrators such as MSSQL, Oracle, IIS; Exp admnstrng trblshtng or deployment of solutn on: Windows desktop & srvr oper systems (XP, 2000, 2003); UNIX admnstrtn or trblshtng or deployment of solutn on: Sun Solaris or HP/UX or Red Hat Linux; exp w/client-server sys & familiarity w/HTTP Tchnlgs. Ntwk trblshtng exp. Exp in C, C++ & .NET prgrmng req. Also reqs: Master’s degree in CS, CE, EE or rel. Send resume & refer to Job# CUPMGU2.

Mail resume to Attn: HR SSC/Talent Mgt, 3109 W. MLK Jr. Blvd., Tampa, FL 33607, Ref. #SJMVE. Must be legally authorized to work in the U.S. w/out sponsorship. EOE

Computer PricewaterhouseCoopers, LLP has an opportunity for the following position in San Jose, CA. Senior Associate. Reqs. 3 to 5 yrs of recent exp in Oracle Applic (r 12.0 & below) as an implementer. Recent exp in: Oracle’s implement method w/hands on exp in process mapping, GAP analysis, functional design through stabilizing post go-live; implement & operat Oracle applic. Travel req. Reqs. incl. Bachelor’s deg in CS, Comp Eng, Eng, or rel eng discip & 5 yrs recent exp or Master’s deg & 3 yrs recent exp.

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Computer Hewlett-Packard Company has an opportunity for the following position in Cupertino, CA.

Technical Solutions Consultant: Reqs exp with: C/C++; Windows op sys/admin; UNIX; SQL; JAVA; Client.Server, HTML; TCP/IP; Object Oriented Tech; & SW custmztn & dvlpmt; Strong DB technology; Knwldg of Bus Avlblty Ctr application mgmt solution 5.1, 6.5, 6.7, 7.0, 7.5, BPM, RUM, SiteScope, Vugen & Diagnostics. Also reqs: Master’s degree in EE or Please send resumes with job rel & 1 yr exp in job offered or number to rel. Send resume & refer to Hewlett-Packard Company, 19483 Pruneridge Ave, MS 4206 Job# CUPHDH2. Cupertino, CA 95014. No phone calls please. Must be Please send resumes with job legally authorized to work in the number to U.S. without sponsorship. EOE. Hewlett-Packard Company, 19483 Pruneridge Ave, MS 4206 Cupertino, CA 95014. Computer Hewlett-Packard Company has No phone calls please. Must be legally authorized to work in the an opportunity for the followU.S. without sponsorship. EOE. ing position in Cupertino, CA. Technical Solutions Consultant —Reqs. incl: Oracle, JBOSS, IIS, Apache, LDAP, Siteminder, VMWare; Unix & Windows user level exp; Exp admnstrng & trblshtng Windows desktop and server oper sys (Windows, NT, 2000, 2003; Linux, Solaris); Undrstndng of client-server sys; Web Tchnlgs incl: HTML, Java, COBRA, RMI, J2EE, HTTP, Javascript); Exp w/: Java prgrmng; SQL; wrkng in high avlblty envmts; Ntwrkng technlgs, TCP/IP; Providing prof support; knwldg of PPM. Also reqs: Masters degree or foreign equiv in CS, Engrng or rel field of study & 2 yrs. exp in job offered or rel occuptn. Send resume & refer to Job# CUPPDA2. Please send resumes with job

Mail resume to Attn: HR SSC/Talent Mgt, 3109 W. MLK Jr. Blvd., Tampa, FL 33607, Ref #SJDKA. Must be legally authorized to work in the U.S. w/out sponsorship. EOE

number to Hewlett-Packard Company, 19483 Pruneridge Ave, MS 4206 Cupertino, CA 95014. No phone calls please. Must be legally authorized to work in the U.S. without sponsorship. EOE.

CEO Mtekvision America, Inc. (San Jose) to direct the growth, oversee eng. & mrktng efforts (ISP, CCP, MMP, mobile black box) & negotiate key contracts. Res: careermta@mtekvision.com

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Please send resumes with job number to Hewlett-Packard Company, 19483 Pruneridge Ave, MS 4206 Cupertino, CA 95014. No phone calls please. Must be legally authorized to work in the U.S. without sponsorship. EOE

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ASTROLOGY FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y

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6g^Zh (March 21–April 19): “Those who know how

to win are much more numerous than those who know how to make proper use of their victories.” So said the ancient Greek historian Polybius, and now I’m conveying the message to you. I hope it will serve as a spur in the wake of your recent triumph. Will you be content with merely basking in the glow, frittering away the provocative potentials? Or will you get down to business and use your new advantages to upgrade your destiny to what we might refer to as Aries 2.0?

IVjgjh (April 20–May 20): “Whatever shines

should be observed,” said 19th-century astronomer William Herschel, discoverer of the planet Uranus. He was referring to his specialty, heavenly bodies, but I’d like to expand the meaning for your use. According to my analysis, it has become very important for you to notice, observe and think about anything that shines. Doing so will tune you in to exactly what you need to know in order to make the best decisions in the coming weeks.

<Zb^c^ (May 21–June 20): “One doesn’t discover

new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time,” wrote French author Andre Gide. I’m guessing that 2009 was a time when you embarked on such a search, Gemini—a half-blind, groping exploration that asked you to leave the past behind without knowing where the future lay. By now, though, I suspect you have sighted the shore of your new frontier. If you haven’t yet, it’ll happen soon.

8VcXZg ( June 21–July 22): I wonder if you can you

handle this much healing intensity, Cancerian. The possibilities for transforming difficult parts of your life are substantial. I’ll name a few ways this could play out: 1. A confusing riddle may be partially solved through a semidivine intervention. 2. A sore spot could be soothed thanks to the power of your curiosity. 3. An ignorance that has caused you pain may be illuminated, allowing you to suffer less. 4. If you can summon the capacity to generously tolerate uncertainty, you may find and rehabilitate an orphaned part of your life. I’m not saying for sure that any of this stuff will happen, but the odds are favorable that at least one will.

AZd ( July 23–Aug. 22): What will it be, Leo? A

time of rampaging ids and slamming doors and lost opportunities? Of strange smells and sweeping views of other people’s hells? Or will this be the week you finally slip into the magic sanctuary and track down the secret formula? Will this be the breakthrough moment when you outmaneuver the “dragon” with that nonviolent “weapon” you’ve been saving for when it was absolutely necessary? It really is up to you. Either scenario could unfold. You have to decide which one you prefer, and then set your intention.

K^g\d (Aug. 23–Sept. 22): I don’t mean to alarm you, but I think you may be in a light hypnotic trance right now. It’s possible that the thrumming hum of your routine has shut down some of your normal alertness, lowering your awareness of certain situations that you really need to tune in to. Let’s do something about this! When I count to three, you will hereby snap out of your daze and become fully awake. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3. Now look around you and get yourself more closely in touch with your immediate environment. Make an effort to vividly see and hear and smell everything that’s going on. This will have the effect of mobilizing your subconscious mind. Then, for a period of at least five days, you’ll have a kind of X-ray vision. A^WgV (Sept. 23–Oct. 22): You would stir up some good fortune for yourself if you brought meals to shut-ins or gave a little presentation at an old folks’ home or donated your old laptop to a low-income family. Oddly enough, it’s also an excellent time for you to scratch and claw for a bigger market share, or to get the upper hand on a competitor, or to bring your creative ideas to people in a position to help you. That’s the odd thing about this week. Capitalist-style self-promotion and actualized compassion will not only co-exist—they’ll have a symbiotic relationship. HXdge^d (Oct. 23–Nov. 21): Last week was the

anniversary of my very first weekly horoscope column, which appeared years ago in the Good Times, a newspaper in Santa Cruz, Calif. My initial effort was crude and a bit reckless compared to what I eventually learned to create. And yet it

was imbued with a primal fervor and heartfelt adventurousness that had a certain charm, and many people seemed to find it useful. Today I bow down to that early effort, honoring it for the seed it sprouted and thanking it for the blessings it led to. I encourage you to do something similar to what I just described, Scorpio: Pay homage to the origins that made it possible for you to be who you have become.

HV\^iiVg^jh (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): In the Choctaw

language, there are two kinds of past tenses. In one, you speak about an event or experience that you personally know to be a fact. In the other, you deliver information that you have acquired secondhand and therefore can’t definitely vouch for. In my perfect world, you Sagittarians would find a way to incorporate this perspective into all your communications during the coming week. In other words, you would consistently distinguish between the unimpeachable truth and the alleged truth. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, this would give you great power to influence the rhythms of life to flow in your favor.

8Veg^Xdgc (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): “The great composer

does not set to work because he is inspired,” wrote music critic Ernest Newman, “but becomes inspired because he is working. Beethoven, Wagner, Bach, and Mozart settled down day after day to the job in hand. They didn’t waste time waiting for inspiration.” I think what Newman said applies to those working in any field where creativity is needed—which is really just about every field. Given your current astrological omens, Capricorn, it’s especially apropos for you now. This is an excellent time to increase your mastery of the kind of discipline that spurs inventive thought and surprising breakthroughs.

6fjVg^jh ( Jan. 20–Feb. 18): I got an email from an Aquarian reader complaining that the astrologers she consulted in early 2009, including me, were wrong about the year ahead. All of us said it would be a time of expansion and opening for your tribe, a phase of rapid growth and fresh energy. But according to this reader, 2009 turned out to be very different. Every Aquarius she knew had a tough ride. Here’s my response: Expansion and opening did indeed occur, but their initial effects weren’t what you expected. They shattered the old containers of your life in order to make it possible for you to create new, bigger containers that would be more suitable for the person you’re becoming. And this year, 2010, is when you will work in earnest to create those new containers. Now’s a good time to dig in.

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E^hXZh (Feb. 19–March 20): I wish you could aim

tachyon particles through an inverted positronic array while simultaneously modulating synaptical relays through an anti-matter torque-buffer. This would bend the space-time continuum back to a point before your recent detour began. Then, armed with knowledge of the future, you’d be able to navigate your way more elegantly through the crazy mash of illusions and misunderstandings. But since the high-tech solution I described may not be possible, I suggest that instead you clear your head of theories about why people are doing what they’re doing. Slow yourself down so completely that you can see the majestic flicker of eternity hidden in every moment. Be a flame of love, not a swamp of self-justification. And send humble notes and witty gifts to anyone whose links with you got tweaked.

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M E T R O S I L I C O N VA L L E Y FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 STRAIGHT DOPE

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Boulder Creek

40 acres. Timber Preserve Zoning. Creek frontage. Wild and serene. Off grid. Private Road. Small ridge top site. Good owner financing offered. $295,000. Shown by appointment only. Contact Deborah J. Donner, Donner Land and Mortgage Co., Inc., Broker at 408/395-5754 or www.donnerland.com

10 acres. Rough and rugged and a beautiful spot right on top! Long private bumpy road. Private road association. Good owner financing. $215,000. Shown by appointment only. Contact Deborah J. Donner, Donner Land and Mortgage Co. 408/395-5754 or www.donnerland.com

Los Gatos Mountains

3 acres. Harmon Gulch. Creek. Private road. Quiet. Sunny possible site. Owner financing. Shown by appointment only. Contact Deborah J. Donner, Donner Land and Mortgage Co., Inc. 408/395-5754 or www.donnerland.com

Highland Way. 5 acres. Double wide with wrap arounddeck. NICE. Spring and creek. Sunny. Private road. Off-grid. Possible owner financing. $289,000 Shown by appointment only. Contact Deborah J. Donner, Donner Land and Mortgage Co., Inc. 408/395-5754 or www.donnerland.com

Boulder Creek

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Legal g Legal Notices

Legal & Public Notices

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT #533248 The following person(s) is (are) doing business as: The Green Samaritans. This business is conducted by a Corporation. The state of Corporation: California. Registrant has not yet begun transacting business under the fictitious business name or names listed herein on. /s/Dennis Thompson President #3238327 This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Clara County on 1/20/2010. (pub Metro 1/27, 2/03, 2/10, 2/17/2010)

Registrant began transacting business under the fictitious business name or names listed herein on 1/8/2010. The following person(s) is Refile of previous file (are) doing business as: Hub #530080 due to publication Auto Brokers, 3130 DeLa Cruz requirement not met on preBlvd., #99, Santa Clara, CA, vious filing. 95054, Hadi Farahani, 301 /s/Hadi Farahani Budd Ave., Campbell, CA, This statement was filed with 95008. the County Clerk of Santa This business is conducted Clara County on 1/08/2010. by a individual. (pub Metro 1/13, 1/20, 1/27, 2/03/2010)

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT NAME STATEMENT #532875 #532808 The following person(s) is (are) doing business as: The Grind Coffee House, 2050 Concourse Dr., #2, San Jose, CA, 95131, Five Star Patrick Tran, LLC. This business is conducted by an Limited Liability Company. Registrant began transacting business under the fictitious business name or names listed herein on 10/15/09. Refile of previous file #514886 with changes /s/Joann Tran Managing Member #200929410237 This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Clara County on 1/11/2010. (pub Metro 1/20, 1/27, 2/03, 2/10/2010)

Tell A Friend You saw it in the Metro Classifieds!

Business Listings

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Boulder Creek

CECIL ADAMS

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9jYZ \Zih heaVh]ZY l^i] a^fj^Y ]Za^jb! dg WaVhiZY l^i] Xgnd\Vh! dg WgZVi]ZY dc Wn V l]^iZ YgV\dc! VcY ]Z [gZZoZh hda^Y ^cid Vc ^bbdW^aZ! [gdhin! Vhidc^h]ZY"add`^c\ WadX` d[ bVc# I]Zc ]Z iZZiZgh dkZg VcY XgVh] HbVh]Zh ^cid V b^aa^dc e^ZXZh dc i]Z \gdjcY# LZÉkZ hZZc ^i ^c i]Z bdk^Zh V b^aa^dc i^bZh# 7ji ]Vh ^i ZkZg VXijVaan ]VeeZcZY id VcndcZ4 >ÉkZ hZZc \jnh dc IK YZZe"[gZZoZ ]di Yd\h VcY gdhZh VcY hjX] VcY hbVh] i]Zb l^i] V ]VbbZg! Wji ^h ^i ZkZc eaVjh^WaZ [dg i]^h id ]VeeZc id V ]jbVc4 Å7g^Vc ?# Lg^\]i You want to clear a room fast, try asking for a volunteer for human sacrifice. Plan B likewise proved impractical when Una balked at obtaining a corpse. Thank God for the medical databases. Even so, progress was slow. Notable findings: 1. Despite determined effort, I couldn’t find any instance of a person’s body or portion thereof shattering. 2. On the fantasy front, I came across an episode of the TV series Bones “debunking” the idea that a human body would shatter if frozen in liquid nitrogen by freezing a turkey and dropping it. (It bounced.) Needless to say, this proves squat. I’ve also found numerous unverifiable anecdotal accounts from folks saying they’ve never seen meat with a bone in it shatter (such as a leg of lamb), but that hot dogs and such can. 3. A Swedish company called Promessa claims to have developed an environmentally friendly way of disposing of bodies. The deceased is frozen in liquid nitrogen, then shattered with sound waves, and the resultant pieces are composted. The firm’s European patent claims the process works, but while I can find lots of press about it, I see no indication of so much as a trial run. Attempting to contact the company has proven fruitless, and its website doesn’t appear to have been updated in years. So I wouldn’t count on cryogenic mortuary services showing up at Costco any time soon. 4. German researchers investigating a potential case of insurance fraud (where an engineer suffered gangrene from liquid nitrogen spilled on the foot and leg) tested cadaver limbs to see how cold they got from exposure to liquid nitrogen. Pouring liquid nitrogen over the limbs created frost on the skin, but the internal temperature hardly budged. Dunking the limbs into liquid nitrogen for 40 seconds froze the skin solid, but the internal temperature only dropped a few degrees, and everything thawed in less than 10 minutes. I’m confident you could get a body to freeze solid if you kept it in the tank long enough, but you can see this isn’t going to be anywhere near as dramatic as it looks onscreen. 5. Experimental inquiry having proved disappointing, I next had Una see what she could scare up in the accident reports. Some

56,000 people work in cryogenics, with an injury rate of 4.4 percent. However, only a few severe freezing incidents emerged. One involved a man who stepped into a bucket of liquid nitrogen wearing only his socks, possibly in an attempt at self-mutilation. His foot and lower leg were frozen solid and eventually required amputation, but they didn’t shatter, remaining intact after thawing. In another case a university student filling liquid nitrogen flasks collapsed and was found frozen to the floor but again, no shattering. A third individual had liquid propane splash onto his face and arms, freezing his gloves to his hands. Gangrene claimed two fingers, but they didn’t break off. 6. The real danger from cryogenic liquids, if I may digress, is asphyxiation or explosion, both of which can occur when the liquid evaporates in a confined space. If the room fills with a gas other than oxygen, you can suffocate. Evaporating chemicals can also expand to hundreds of times their liquid volume, meaning you can blow up. Last July a German chef working with a canister of liquid nitrogen lost both hands as a result of an explosion. In 1997 a Worcester Polytechnic student unaccountably decided to put liquid nitrogen in his mouth and blow smoke rings. Problem was, he accidentally swallowed the stuff instead, and the expanding gas blew a hole in his stomach and collapsed a lung. He lost part of part of his stomach and scarred his gastrointestinal tract, but otherwise recovered. Having considered the thin evidence above, I’m guessing that fibrous tissue would prevent a body from simply shattering no matter what. However, this hypothesis remains untested, and with $41 in the Straight Dope Research and Entertainment Fund, well . . . a leg of lamb or turkey won’t break the bank, but have you priced a tank of liquid nitrogen lately? Others have bigger budgets, and I look forward to seeing the results soon on high-def TV.

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