Whistlestop Express February 2020 by Weeklys

whistlestop.org February 2020 Marin’s Older Adult Community Connection Since 1954

Pg 3: Love, Marin Style Pg 4: New Culinary Director and Reimagined Menu at the Jackson Café Pg 9: Age and Your Sexuality

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WHISTLESTOP PERSPECTIVE

A labor of love By Vickie Soulier Whistlestop Donor

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have always been a big supporter of the arts, but I was drawn to Whistlestop because it does so much to support the older adult community in Marin. Whistlestop gives people so much to be happy about, so many things to love. There are all the classes, the Jackson Café, the guest speakers, nutrition programs and fitness workouts. Mastering an iPad or smartphone so you can FaceTime or share photos with your grandchildren halfway across the world is a great skill to learn. It’s important to not be afraid of technology because it can enrich our lives. I really like that Whistlestop helps with that. We are all living longer now – my mother turned 100 in December. As the years pass, it’s easy to

become isolated, to feel lonely. That’s why places like Whistlestop and its new Healthy Aging Campus are so important. They give older adults a place to connect and to feel supported and loved while also taking care of their basic needs. I remember the day I saw a group of women coloring in the Whistlestop Lounge. I have always loved to color. As I watched that group of women, I realized that the joy in coloring is not just about being creative, but about enjoying fellowship with others while doing something enjoyable. Fostering that kind of community and fellowship is at the heart of all that Whistlestop does. I am fortunate to be able to support causes I believe in, and I have always said that money is to spend – you can’t take it with you!

ACTIVE AGING CENTER 930 Tamalpais Avenue | San Rafael, CA 94901 Open Monday-Friday 9:00AM-5:00PM Website: whistlestop.org | Email: info@whistlestop.org Guest Services Reception | 415-456-9062 ext. 100 Volunteer Opportunities | 415-456-9067 Resource Office | 415-459-6700 Covia Home Match & Social Call | 415-456-9068

JACKSON CAFÉ Monday-Friday | 11:30AM to 2:00PM

LIKE US on Facebook! facebook.com/WhistlestopMarin

Whistlestop supporter Vickie Soulier with her daughter and mother, at her mother’s 100th birthday celebration

I get an incredible joy out of donating my money and being able to see what it does. I love seeing the joy and help that it brings, and I’m grateful to be supporting the building of the new Healthy Aging Campus. Some of the things I love to do are listening to music, being outdoors, and trying new things. But my true love is the arts. I love going to plays, movies and

live performance theater. I am a big supporter of Transcendence. Hanging out with the young adults who are involved in Transcendence gives me energy and makes me feel alive. I encourage you to read through these pages and find something new to try – something new to love. Being open to new experiences like the ones Whistlestop offers is what keeps us all young at heart.

MEAL DELIVERY SERVICES

WHISTLESTOP EXPRESS

Whistlestop Nourish | 415-456-9062 ext. 176 Meals on Wheels Eligibility (Marin County) | 415-457-4636

Kelly Krueger Thomas, Whistlestop Express Editor 415-235-5031 | kelly@kruegerpr.com

TRANSPORTATION SERVICES

Jennifer Golbus, Marketing & Communications Director jgolbus@whistlestop.org

CarePool Volunteer Driver Program | 415-454-0927 Travel Navigators/Marin Access Eligibility | 415-454-0902 Schedule a Paratransit Ride | 415-454-0964 Cancel a Paratransit Ride | 415-457-4630

OUR MISSION Whistlestop believes we share a responsibility to ensure all Marin residents have an opportunity to age with dignity, independence and grace. Want to receive the Express at home? Send $10 to Whistlestop for an annual delivered print subscription, or sign up at whistlestop.org for a free email version.

PACIFIC SUN STAFF Rosemary Olson, Publisher | rolson@pacificsun.com Kara Brown, Production | kara@metroactive.com

TO ADVERTISE PLEASE CONTACT: Danielle McCoy, Advertising | dmccoy@pacificsun.com Marianne Misz, Advertising | mmisz@pacificsun.com

Cover by Missy Reynolds

Playing the Dating Game centers, colleges and Whistlestop all have computer classes for older adults.

Choose the Right Site

With new sites and increased acceptance, more older Americans are finding a soulmate on the internet

By Kelly Krueger Thomas Whistlestop Express Editor

f you’re single in the U.S. you’re in good company. There are approximately 18 million Americans age 65 or older and though dating has changed over the years, Cupid is still making love connections.

So how do you navigate the dating world in this day and age of computers?

Go Online

If you haven’t surfed the Net, yet, it’s pretty easy to learn the basics such as responding to an email, messaging someone, or sharing a photo of you. Libraries, community

Start by doing some research. Ask friends which sites they use. You probably want to stick with sites that are aimed at those over 50 such as OurTime.com and Stitch.net. Other sites with senior-specific sections include eHarmony.com, Match.com and EliteSingles.com.

Be Honest

Yes, you want to look your best online but be sure you are honest about who you are and how you look. Uploading a photo of you 15 years ago or 30 pounds lighter won’t help you find companionship. If your kids or a friend has one of the newer phones, ask them to take a photo using the Portrait setting.

Be Strategic

Don’t spread yourself too thin. Start slow with a single site and see how it goes, then broaden your reach to other sites once you get a feel for the process. Seeing an inbox full of messages can be very daunting if you’re new to online dating.

Be Safe

Never share personal information like your home address or bank accounts or transfer money. If you meet someone, meet in public at a restaurant or coffee shop where people know you. AARP has a Fraud Watch Network Helpline: (877) 908-3360.

Relax and Enjoy the Adventure

Love is out there and you just never know when and where you’ll meet someone special. Remember to have fun, relax and be yourself. Life is an adventure, as is love.

LOVE, MARIN STYLE The society hosts monthly events, from mixers and parties to major celebrations, such as the recent New Year’s Eve party in Mill Valley with 160 guests. Founder Rich Gosse started the Society of Single Professionals to give adults a reason to get out and meet one another. For instance, the society has a Valentine’s Ball planned for Feb. 14 at the

Westin St. Francis Union Square from 8 p.m. to midnight. Tickets are just $15 in advance, $20 at the door. On Thursday, February 6, 7-9pm, there is an event in Marin at The Spinnaker, 100 Spinnaker Drive, Sausalito CA. $10 at the door includes a fun Mixer Game, which makes it EASY to meet people, accompanied by complimentary light appetizers. You may even see Rich at Whistlestop. He’s a regular for lunch at the café and you can usually find him at the men’s table. “As you get older,” Rich says, “it’s

The Party Hotlines hosts a variety of senior singles events

important to be able to meet in a safe place that is fun and welcoming.” You can learn more about the Society of Single Professionals and see a complete list of events at www.thepartyhotline.com.

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f you’re not into online dating, you can also go the more traditional route. The Society of Single Professionals is a local singles organization older adults may enjoy.

What’s cooking at the Jackson Café? By Jennifer Golbus, Whistlestop Marketing & Communications Director

he new year will see some exciting changes at the Jackson Café. Last month, Stacy Scott took over the role of Culinary Director and Chuck Ciaccio stepped in as the café’s new manager. Both promise an exciting new menu and some other changes in the coming year. The husband and wife team are the owners and operators of Stacy Scott Catering. Over the last 30 years, Stacy has planned and catered hundreds of events for clients, including President Barak Obama, David Beckham and Paris Hilton. Chuck has managed the company’s internal operations and will now oversee the finances as well. As Culinary Director for the Jackson Café, Stacy is introducing new menu

items that feature local and fresh ingredients that will satisfy a variety of tastes and dietary needs with a focus on simple, delicious, home-cooked meals. Chuck is overhauling the front-ofhouse operations, creating a more satisfying dining experience. The couple continue to operate their catering business as well. "At Whistlestop we’ve worked hard to create a comfortable, caring and home-away-from home feeling for the people who visit the Jackson Café,” said Nancy Geisse, Whistlestop’s chief operating officer. “Stacy and Chuck not only share that vision, but they have the culinary expertise and management experience to bring it to life.” “We’re thrilled to join the Whistlestop community,” says Stacy. “One of our goals is to introduce far-reaching and exciting new dishes, made with local and fresh

ingredients and 100% fromscratch cooking. We will use absolutely no processed foods! We also look forward to meeting our guests and helping to make their dining experience truly enjoyable.” Stacy and Chuck officially assumed their duties Jan. 6 when the café reopened.

Patrons of the café, which is open Monday through Friday, 11: 30 a.m. to 2 p.m., can look forward to affordable and delicious specials along with the return of rotating daily soups. Prices will remain the same: $6 members/$10 non members.

Menu Highlights

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Stacy Scott ready to cook up a new menu at the Jackson Café

Daily homemade soups return to the Jackson Café menu

nder Chuck Ciaccio and Stacy Scott, all dishes will be designed from scratch using only fresh seasonal foods and there will be a complete move away from cans, boxes and processed foods. The pair have already been at work, updating the menu with more local food purveyors such as fresh baked bread from Bordenaves and eggs and dairy from Petaluma Farms. Menu highlights include a

rotating soup of the day made from house made stocks, fresh meats and veggies and a greater sandwich variety using real turkey breast and beef top round, roasted in-house and sliced daily. Other dinner entrée additions include updated homestyle classics, as well as multicultural heritage favorites and interesting daily entrée salads that go beyond the typical Caesar salad.

HAPPENINGS@WHISTLESTOP FEBRUARY

WEEKLYACTIVITIES COMPUTER

EXERCISE

LANGUAGE

MISC

INFO

FEE

9:00AM-10:30AM 10:00AM–NOON 10:30AM-NOON 10:30AM-NOON 12:30PM-1:45PM 1:00PM-3:00PM 2:00PM-3:30PM

Tai Chi Computer Lab German Social Group Persian Social Group Russian Social Group CalFresh ESL 100, 150 & 200

Drop-in Drop-in Drop-in Drop-in Drop-in Drop-in Register

$8/10 Free Free Free Free Free $40/$45

9:30–10:30AM 10:00AM–NOON 10:00AM–NOON 11:30AM-12:30PM 1:00PM–3:00PM 1:00PM-2:00PM 3:00PM-4:00PM 3:00PM-4:00PM

Whistlesizers Manicures Mah-Jongg French (All Levels) Spanish 2 French Social Group Too Much Stuff Beginning Spanish

Drop-in Register Drop-in Drop-in Drop-in Drop-in Drop-in Drop-in

$4/5 $40/$45 Free $3/5 $3/5 Free Free $3/5

9:00AM-9:50AM 9:30AM-12:30PM 10:00AM–NOON 10:00AM-10:50AM 10:30AM-NOON 11:15AM-12:15PM 12:30PM-1:30PM 2:00PM-3:30PM

Zumba Monthly Food Box for Seniors Computer Lab Streach & Breath Persian Social Group Beginner Ukulele Inter. Ukulele ESL 100, 150 & 200

9:30AM-11:00AM 11:00AM-NOON 12:30PM-1:30PM 1:00PM-2:00PM 2:00PM-3:00PM 10:00AM-10:45AM 10:30AM-NOON 11:00AM–NOON 1:30PM-3:00PM 2:00PM–4:00PM 3:00PM-4:00PM

Drop-in 2/19 Register Drop-in Register Drop-in Register Register Register

$3/$4 Free Free $5/$7 Free $40/45 $40/45 $40

Italian 1 Whistlesizers Italian 3 Italian Study Group Italian 2

$40/45 $4/5 $40/45 $2/4 $40/45

Walking Club CalFresh 2/7 & 2/21 Brown Bag Pantry Spanish Social Group Ping-Pong Yoga with Kelly

Free Free Free Free $2/4 $3/5

ONGOING

EVENTS

Community Breakfast

Friday, February 7th; $4/$8; 9:00 am - 10:00 am

Stop by and enjoy our tasty, hot breakfast buffet.

Movement & Music

Mondays, 11:00 am - Noon; $15 yearly Emeritus Students College of Marin (ESCOM) membership, plus $63 for ESCOM members $82 for Non-members (6 week class) paid to the College of Marin registrar. Call 415-485-9318 to register. If you have not been exercising regularly or have arthritis-related problems, this class is for you. Join instructor, Diane Haine in the comfortably paced class that meets individual needs. Both chair and standing mobility exercises tone both upper and lower body muscles. Includes: joint flexibility, muscle strengthening, balancing, breathing coordination and modified Tai-chi movements.

Therapeutic Medical Massage by Rabel

By Appointment Only. Tuesdays, 3:30 pm – 5:00 pm, Wednesdays, 9:00 am – 3:00 pm, Thursdays, Noon – 3:00 pm To schedule please call 415-419-4608

Rabel is a soft tissue specialist, certified by the American Medical Massage Association. Massages are located in the alcove by Whistlestop’s Jackson Café.

Pam Arnott is a Board-Certified Holistic Health Practitioner. She also holds Certifications in several other modalities in the Healing Arts. Pam addresses each client’s individual needs such as Stress, Pain, and various ailments. She utilizes an advanced form of Energy Healing, Nutrition and Lifestyle, Breath-work, Whole Body Intelligence™, and Hypnosis. Pam’s favorite part of her work is receiving an unexpected phone call from a client the day after a Healing Session excitedly sharing their positive results! Call to schedule a FREE 10-minute Consultation to discuss the best way Pam can help you to reduce pain, lower stress levels, feel more energized and more.

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WEDNESDAYS

CLASS

THURSDAYS

TIME

FRIDAYS

TUESDAYS

MONDAYS

FOOD

For a full list of classes, visit whistlestop.org/classes/ calendar or call 415-456-9062, ext. 100

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Holistic Health by Pam Arnott

By Appointment Only. Mondays and Fridays To schedule please call 415-456-9062

SPECIAL EVENTS & WORKSHOPS

Estate Planning Valentine’s Day Luncheon

Thursday, February 13th, 11:30 am – 2:00 pm; $10

Join us for a lovely expanded menu! Entertainment by Lucina Tison & Her Cabaret of a Thousand Faces! Tickets on Sale NOW! Please stop by the front desk for your ticket purchase.

Third Wednesday of each month, 9:30 am – 11:00 am; Call 415-456-9062 x100 to register.

As we enter the new year, now is a great opportunity to update and review your estate plans, including taking inventory of your assets, drafting a will, creating a living trust, and assigning financial and health care powers of attorney. Our 2020 series will begin with accredited estate planner and chartered financial consultant, Peter Tabet. Peter recently retired after a 40-year career as a Financial Advisor at Northwestern Mutual, and is distinctly knowledgeable about the complex financial aspects of estate planning. Join Peter at Whistlestop for an informative presentation on the processes involved in fiscally preparing your estate on Wednesday, January 15, 9:30-11:00am. This presentation is sponsored by Valley Memorial Park Cemetery and Funeral Home in Novato.

Collage Art

February 5th, 9:30 am – 10:30 am; Free; Registration Required

In this class we will cut, tear glue and paste to create a one-of-a-kind collage. For people who have not done collage, or for people who have. Lots of materials and ideas will be available. Hosted by Sheri Rice.

Positive Aging Series

Wednesday, February 26th; 6:00 pm – 7:30 pm; Free; Registration Required

Homewell Cares Presents Heart Health Awareness

Join us in a discussion on relationships, love and dating.

Wednesday, February 12th; 10:00 am -- 11:00 am; Registration required; No fee

Educate yourself and your family on what is heart disease. What is a heart attack? Are you at risk for a heart attack? Steps to help prevent heart disease.

SELECTED

CLASSES

Whistlestop Walking Club

Fridays, begins February 7th, 10:00 am – 10:45 am; Free

Tired of walking alone? Looking for a new way to motivate yourself and others to get moving? Walking with others can keep you motivated, improve your accountability – and helps many people improve their heart health.

Citizenship Prep Tutoring

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Appointment only, $5; Please call for more information

VALLEY MEMORIAL 1/4 SQ

Naturalization is the process to voluntarily become a U.S. citizen if you were born outside of the United States. In general, you may be eligible if you can show continuous U.S. residence for three to five years, are at least 18 years old, and demonstrate good moral character and loyalty to the U.S. Constitution. If you are currently studying for your Citizenship Exam and need additional support, join us in your preparation.

Zumba

Wednesdays, begins January 15th; 9:00 am – 9:50 am; $3/$4; Drop-in It is time to get up and dance with Jimna Calmell!

ESL

Monday and Wednesdays, Starting February 3rd 2:00 pm – 3:30 pm; $40/45; Registration Required

COMPUTER CLASSES

We will be offering levels 100, 150 and 250

Tai Chi

Tai Chi: Mondays, 9:00 am – 10:30 am; $8/10; Drop-in Beginning Tai Chi: Mondays, 9:00 am – 9:30 am

The first 30 minutes of the class will focus on the introduction to Tai Chi. Join David MacLam on a Tai Chi journey. This non-competitive martial art known for its self-defense techniques and health benefits combines gentle physical exercise and stretching with mindfulness.

Whistlesizers

Tuesdays, 9:30 am – 10:30 am; $4/5; Drop-in Thursday, 11:00 am – Noon; $4/5; Drop-in Join Elizabeth Lynn, instructor for gentle chair exercises and light cardio to

improve your strength, flexibility and motion.

Beginning Ukulele

Wednesdays, December 4th – January 22nd; 11:15 am – 12:15 pm; $40/$50

Strum your way to happiness with instructor Sandy Bailey! Please bring your own ukulele. Each session runs for 6 weeks.

PRE-REGISTRATION AND PAYMENT REQUIRED: 415-456-9062

iPad/iPhone Basics 1: Getting to Know Your Device

Tuesdays, Jan 28 & Feb 4, 10am – Noon (2 classes) Fee: $48 Maximum 8 people

In this two-week course for those new to the smart phone/wireless device world, you'll learn how to make calls, send emails, send texts, download music and add applications. Each session provides one-on-one help and comes with instructional handouts. (Bring your charged-up Apple device to class.)

Managing Your Photos

Tuesdays, Feb 18 & 25, 10:00 am – Noon (2 classes) Fee: $48 Maximum 8 people

Learn how to take and edit photos on your iPhone, iPad, or Android device (Samsung, LG, Motorola, etc.). We'll also show you how to store your photos, transfer them all into one place, organize them into folders and how to get them printed. Bring photos on your digital camera, smartphone, iPad or tablet (and all charging cords), to class, and if you have a laptop bring that too! CONTINUED ON PAGE 8 >

Italian

Thursdays, Italian 1; 9:30 am - 11:00 am, Italian 2; 2:00 pm - 3:00 pm & Italian 3; 12:30 pm - 1:30 pm; $40/$45 Ciao! Come learn Italian with Karen Raccanello! All levels welcomed. We offer Italian 1, 2 & 3.

Stretch and Breath

Every Wednesday beginning January 15th; 10:00 am - 10:50 am; $3/$5.

Drop-In Writers

First Thursday of every month, with the exception of July; 12:30 pm - 3:00 pm; $10; Registration Required

Beginners welcomed! Class is limited to 8 people. This is a drop in writers group facilitated by Jean Stumpf.

Life Story Writing

Free workshop January 30; 2:30 pm - 4:00 pm This workshop will be held in the computer room at Whistlestop. This workshop will help you decide if you want to join the basic life story workshop part one series starting February 6, 2020. There is no fee for this workshop, but limited to 12 participants. CONTINUED ON PAGE 8 >

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This class will help to strengthen, loosen and balance your body for better health and quality of life. It will include deep, gentle, simple stretches from dance, primal and yogic movements, always working with the breath to a variety of peaceful music. You will need a stretching mat, blankets or pillows. Please wear loose stretchable clothing and non-slip socks or soft dance slippers. This class will be taught by Kathy Burch, aka KaRasheba.

Tech Tips for Transportation HIGHLIGHTED

SUPPORT SERVICES

Victim-Witness Assistance

Thursdays, January 9 and 23, 9:00 am - 12:00pm; Free

Advocate Yolanda Johnson from the District Attorney’s office answers questions, provides information, and connects you to resources. For more information, please call 415-473-6450.

CalFresh (eligibility & application assistance)

Mondays, January 6, 13, 23, 30 Fridays, January 3 & 17, 10:00 am - 1:00 pm; Free; Drop-in

The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, CalFresh, provides qualified applicants with an EBT card to use at participating grocery stores and farmer’s markets.

Covia

Tuesdays and Thursdays, 10:00 am – Noon; Free; Drop-in

Covia will be at Whistlestop to answer your questions and provide information on housing and other services.

Financial Consulting

Wednesdays, January 8th & 22nd; 10:00am-12:00pm. Free; Appointment only.

Peter Tabet, CLU, ChFC, AEP, MBA, brings a wide-ranging portfolio of education, experience, skills & interests to his career in insurance and financial services.

SF-Marin Food Bank’s Monthly Food Box for older adults Wednesday, January 15, 9:30 am – 12:30 pm; Free; Drop-in

The SF-Marin Food Bank operates the Supplemental Food Program, providing a monthly box of quality U.S. Dept. of Agriculture food to low income older adults. To register, bring an ID, proof of income, and proof of residency and one of the Food Bank specialists will determine your eligibility.

Free Legal Consultation

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Thursday, by appointment only, call 415-459-6700

Legal Aid of Marin provides free 30-minute consultations for Marin County residents who are 60+. Volunteer trusts and estates lawyers give limited scope consultations on trust and estates, wills, trust administration, Health Care Directives, Powers of Attorney, and some related real estate matters.

Thursdays, March 12 & March 19, 1:00pm – 3:00pm (2 classes) Fee: $10

Want to get around without driving? Your Smart Phone, tablet and computer are great tools for getting rides! In partnership with Marin Transit, this is a discounted class to learn about transportation options in Marin. We will show you how to get online and use web sites and apps for determining the fastest, cheapest and most timely ways for getting where you want to go. Learn how to take the bus, SMART train, ferry or maybe get a ride from a volunteer, use shared ride services (Lyft), subsidized taxi’s and more! Bring your Smartphone, tablet or laptop to class. Computers will be available as well. We will help you set up a Clipper card with a built-in senior discount. This course is especially geared to seniors and disabled riders as well as caregivers who may be interested in transportation options.

Intro to Computers – Windows or Apple

Tuesdays, March 24, 31 and April 7, 10am – Noon (3 classes) Fee: $65 Maximum 6 people

Designed for first-time computer users, you will learn how to start your computer and turn it off, use the mouse and keyboard to perform basic computer tasks, how to create and print a document, identify the basic parts of a computer and their use, search the Internet to find information and set up an email account.

iPad/iPhone Basics 3: World of Applications Tuesdays, April 21 & 28, 10am – Noon (2 classes) Fee: $48 Maximum 8 people

In this two-week course we will focus on how to use apps for shopping, brain training, fitness, internet radio, stock trackers, games, translation, and travel (Lyft/Uber). Learn how to organize apps and how to get rid of unwanted apps. This is a perfect sequel to "How to Use Your iPad/iPhone" and "Essential Built-in Applications" classes. Bring your fully charged device, Apple ID, and Apple password to class. (For Apple devices only.)

ONGOING Open Lab

Every Monday and Wednesday, 10am – Noon, No Fee

Use our Apple and PC computers to access the Internet. Volunteers are available to help and give advice on problems with your laptops and tablets and software applications.

Help Whistlestop Be in ‘Best of Marin’ You can help Whistlestop once again be recognized in the Pacific Sun’s Annual “Best of Marin 2020” competition. All you need to do is go online and vote before 5pm on February 29.

◦ Under “Everyday”, vote for Whistlestop as: Best Senior Services, Best Non-Profit , Best Transportation.

Simply follow these steps: go to PacificSun. com and click the VOTE! Best of Marin banner in the middle of the homepage. Then vote for Whistlestop in the following categories:

You will need to complete at least 20 votes on the ballot in order to be included in the vote total.

◦ Under “Food and Drink” vote for Whistlestop’s Jackson Café as Best Restaurant.

Vote now so you don’t forget! Thank you for your support!

PacificSun.com

Age and Your Sexuality Carol Queen PhD—Good Vibrations Staff Sexologist

Carol Queen

Some older adults don’t have a partner, but even if they do, emotional aftereffects of infidelity or consent breaches point to a larger issue: relationship health. Long-term partners can cease being tuned in to each other. This is why it’s a bad idea to run in shaking your new Viagra bottle like a maraca--unless maracas have always been part of your sex life! Take a Tantra class together instead. Finally, those with adult kids, who are mobilityrestricted, or reside in an elder-care facility may run into other peoples’ opinions about sexuality and age, and must advocate for privacy. Regain your not-just-forthe-young birthright by questioning your definitions about what sex is. Intimacy can mean so many things: emotional closeness and connection; touch and sensation (including vibration); erotic fantasy, arousal and orgasm. You can

MARIN COUNTY COMMISSION ON AGING MEETING WHEN: Feb. 6, 2020 10 am to 12:30 pm WHERE: at the Margaret Todd Senior Center, Novato -1560 Hill Rd. TOPIC: How to Fall Safely SPEAKER: Carol Zeller (CoA)

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Are you ready for a Transition?

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Let’s cheers together! Change can be overwhelming, but as a Senior Real Estate Specialist I am here to help you make the move. From finding the adult community that matches your lifestyle to helping you get into a smaller more manageable home, I can assist you. Contact me today!

Misha Villere

Senior Real Estate Specialist MishaVillere@ZephyrRE.com 415.505.3851 • Lic# 02052811

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an a person get too old for sex? The capacity for pleasure and connection are part of most adults’ lives—or would be, if barriers were removed. I’ll never forget a woman I helped at Good Vibrations: in her late 70s, she bought her first vibrator, saying, “I just don’t want to die without knowing what an orgasm feels like.” That sex has an expiration date is a common story. Past the age of procreation, some feel, sex is over. Beliefs about sex can be related to upbringing, even cultural differences. If partners have different beliefs about sex and desire, it sets up challenges. When we believe sex = intercourse, many older people back away out of fear or frustration. Lack of sex education--especially about arousal and bodily changes-discomfort talking about sex, even shame play a role. Age can bring changes that alter our sex lives: getting and maintaining erections, arousal and lubrication; comfort, from physical positioning to penetration; body image concerns; many effects of illness. You may need to talk to your doctor, not just partners, about sexual issues, including STIs! (STI incidence in older populations is much higher than awareness.) And be alert to any anti-sexual effects of prescription meds.

experience these partnered or solo. Masturbation brings pleasure, selfcomfort and “use it or lose it” self-care. You can use lubricated hands, genital pressure, adult toys—sexual stimulation does not require penetration. Menopause can alter the vagina; some explore dilation if they haven’t had penetrative sex lately, or after vaginoplasty, hysterectomy, or cancer treatments. Start small, with much lubrication; add arousal via fantasy or touch; add size gradually. Girth is a bigger issue than length, generally. Many—especially women-have never made a habit of telling their partners what they like, want, don’t want. Age is the perfect excuse to do it, though. Why? Because our bodies are all changing at this time of life. Whatever might have worked before might not work now: a wonderful invitation to communicate, inform, and explore.

Assisted Living at its Best!

Whistlestop Recognizes Youth Winners of Holiday Card Contest

VOLUNTEER FAIR! We are seeking friendly and reliable volunteers who want to give back to their community. DATE: Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020 TIME: 3pm-4:00pm (drop-in) LOCATION: 930 Tamalpais Avenue San Rafael, CA 94901 VOLUNTEER POSITIONS INCLUDE:

Marin County Superintendent of Schools Mary Jane Burke joins Whistlestop CEO Joe O’Hehir in honoring contest finalists. For a list of finalist names and their winning artwork, please visit whistlestop.org/holiday-card-contest

n January 9, students, teachers, school principals and families from all over Marin gathered in Whistlestop’s Jackson Café to recognize the finalists of Whistlestop’s 2019 Holiday Card Contest. Elementary school students in grades K-5 submitted designs that highlighted the holiday spirit of community, peace, love and giving, with the winning designs gracing Whistlestop’s official 2019 holiday card. One winner, six runners up and five honorable mentions received a framed award and praise from Whistlestop CEO Joe O’Hehir and Marin County Superintendent of Schools Mary Jane Burke.

YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO FALL IN LOVE

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• CarePool Volunteer Drivers • Meals on Wheels Delivery Drivers • Jackson Café Lunch Servers & Cashiers • Arts and Crafts Teachers • General Office help and Parking Services For more information contact: Laurie Vermont, Volunteer Program Manager Phone: 415-456-9067 or Email: volunteer@ whistlestop.org

eople in their 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond have not lost their lust for life or their desire to be loved. Here are a few of these couples who met -- and found love -- later in life.

♥ Beth and Lolma:

Lolma Olson, 71, and Beth Reed, 76, met at California Pacific Medical Center where Beth was Director of Surgical Services and Lolma was Director of Patient Relations. They’ve been together for 33 years and married 11 years. Together they enjoy hiking, dancing, movies, making their home a special place through gardening and interior decorating. They also love to spend time with friends, and plan and hold events for older adults in the LGBTQ community, with the Novato Senior LGBT Social Committee, that take place four or five times a year, Beth and Lolma's wedding day including picnics, art shows, bocce ball, and other activities. on August 14, 2008

♥ Jim and Barbara:

Fun at Carrizo Plain in San Luis Obispo County

Jim and Barbara met through a mutual friend 3 ½ years ago. Barbara, a psychotherapist in Sausalito, always enjoyed visiting Nevada City in her camper and was forever seeking a place to park it closer to town and the river, instead of the campground which was 13 miles out of town. When she found out Jim lived in Nevada City, she asked if it was a possibility to park at his place. He answered with his phone number and told her not to lose it. Now the two share many interests including travel, hiking, watercolor painting, skiing, camping, movies, winning at dominos, and spending time visiting families, plus the fun of planning all this. Says Barbara, “If it hadn’t been for my aunt who married for the third time when she was 79, I would have given up on ever finding a good-match partner.”

COMMUNITY CONNECTIONS

Love is in the air at The Spahr Center

t’s been said that love comes in all the colors of the rainbow. But for many Marin County residents, finding love can be difficult, especially if you are part of the LGBTQ community. The reasons are many. Some feel uncomfortable showing their love publicly or are new to the Marin community and unsure where to meet others. Others may be feeling isolated or alienated, not sure where to go or who to turn to. It was with this in mind that The Spahr Center formed. A Marin non-profit community agency, the center is devoted to supporting and empowering members of the LGBTQ community as well as those who have been affected by HIV. “Many in the community feel closeted or isolated,” says Dana Van Gorder,

executive director of The Spahr Center. “We work to make these people from all walks of life feel at home by connecting them to others in our community and engaging in a wide range of welcoming activities.” According to Van Gorder, there are three distinct senior communities in Marin that the center serves: 1) People who have lived in the county for a long time who don’t feel comfortable coming out. 2) People who have moved to the county in recent years who may have come here without friends or a community support system. 3) Residents who fled larger cities when the AIDS epidemic was at its peak that lost friends, colleagues and loves, who feel isolated because of the trauma they experienced.

“Increasingly we are becoming concerned about LGBT seniors in institutional settings who feel a need to be closeted, as they are unsure of how others will react,” he said. “We want these older adults to know that we are here for them and that they have a safe, welcoming center where they can connect with others.” To provide additional support, The Spahr Center sponsors two senior support groups each month that may be of particular interest to the Whistlestop community as well as a quarterly senior lunch. One of those groups will be meeting at Whistlestop in

San Rafael beginning in March! “One of the great things about Marin is its increasing responsiveness to serving diverse older adults in the area,” Dana says. “Spahr is working around the county to have welcoming symbols put up such as the rainbow flag at Whistlestop in San Rafael. We’re also increasing our outreach in order to provide much needed cultural competency training in places that serve older adults as well as those in the LGBTQ community.” For more information about The Spahr Center, visit www.thespahrcenter.org.

HOME WELL 1/6.

1/4 SQ

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HIRED HANDS

Whistlestop

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E PRESS Marin Senior Coordinating Council 930 Tamalpais Avenue San Rafael, CA 94901-3325

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Social Security & Financial Safety is the founder of Madrone Investment Advisory LLC, a financial planning Whistlestop Chief Donor Relations Officer and investment management firm here in San Rafael. Beyond social nderstanding the details of security, Michael will discuss how we your social security plan is can recognize and avoid often confusing, and how and when you unsafe financial situations take your benefits has a as we age, and will offer lasting financial impact. tools for how to think and Making favorable decisions make choices around these around your social security important topics. requires knowledge of the This presentation is benefits you are entitled Wednesday, February to and consideration of 19, 9:30-10:45am in your investment portfolio Yvonne Roberts Whistlestop’s Jackson Café. and taxes. Filing for social Kindly register at our front security is a significant financial desk or by calling 415-456-9062 x100. decision, and as individuals continue Whistlestop’s 2020 Estate Planning to live longer lives, understanding Series is sponsored by Valley Memorial how to file in the most optimal way for Park Cemetery and Funeral Home yourself and your family is increasingly in Novato. Join us on the third vital. Wednesday of each month and hear This month join Michael Zaidlin for from experts on a wide range of Estate an informative presentation on how to manage your social security. Michael Planning and aging-related topics.

Yvonne Roberts

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