Metro Weekly - 05/12/1994 by Metro Weekly

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May12,1994 •

Metro Arts & Entertainment Weekly •

SPRINGING TO LIFE> PAGE 30

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CORNfR OF 22NO R PST., N.W.

DEPARTMENTS IN Focus Where in the Bible does it say not

be gay?

NEWS OF THE QUEER Mailings from Dr. Kenned)\ plus a report on the Helen Hayes Awards

CRYSTAL BALL'S HOROSCOPE

AsK DIVA Price wars and a new form of napkin

FICTION Adventures of Hemlock Sholmes, Part X

BALTIMORE DISH

Metro Arts & Entertainment Weekly

May 12 - 18, 1994 • Volume I, Issue 2 DNTHECOVER •

With his innovative, controversial musical "Zero Patience," John Greyson has OUT ON THE TOWN. Our weekly calendar of events • made a fIlm that speaks-or Top 10's should we say PERSONALS sings?-to a gay and lesbian HOTSPOTS A listing of your favorite haunts audience. In an exclusive interESCORTS view, the Canac THE BACK ROOM dian director How to host the perfect after hours c .., ector talks about o why he decided Cover Photographs: "Zero Patience" by Rafy; to approach Spring to Ufe Main Dance Event this compelling, by Richard von Zimmer sobering topic in a musical light.

36 39

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J -

SPRING

LIFE

Correspondent David DiZsadin's coverage ofWashington's biggest party weekend.

42 43 46

Metro Arts & Entertainment Weel<ly 724 Ninth St., NW - Ste. 429 Washington, D.C. 20001 (202) 347-7640 - Fax: (202) 347-781 1 Publishers:

All material appearing In Metro Arts & Entertainment Weekly Is protected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced In whole or part without the pel mission of the publisher. Metro Arts & Entertainment Weekly assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials submitted for publication. All such submissions are subject to editing and will not be returned unless accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope. Metro Ivts & Ent.. tainment Weekly is supported by many fine adIIertisers. but we cannot accept responsibility for dalms made by adIIertisers nor can we accept responsibility for materials provided by advertisers or their agents. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization In artides or advertising in Metro Arts & Entertainment Weekly is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such person or organization.

. Marcus

lyman & Randy Shulman

Editor-in-Chief: Randy Shulman Art Director: Richard von Zimmer Production Manager: Mark S. Tucker Director of Sales Ie Marketing: Marc Contributing Editors:

lyman

ean Bugg. Mark J. Schroeder

Contributing Artist: Paul Myan Contributing Writers: Cry Lal Ball Raynor Beane-Burton. Diva,

J. Rexer. Polly 1i

@ 1994 I osceles Publishing,

Inc..

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n RELIGIOUS

PROPAGANDA

denominationsboth Christian and Jewish-have long viewed homosexuality as an abomination to God, as a sin so abhorrent that even the Almighty Himself fInds it easier to forgive the murderer, the thief or the rapist than the Queer. Gay men and women are destined-if we are to accept what certain religious leaders and zealots would have us believe-to spend not only our brief time on this planet in a continual state of immoral flux outside the will of God. We're also doomed to eternal hell, fIre and brimstone. What absolute crap! How is it even conceivable for any rational human being to be so presumptuous as to delude himself into believing that he has been granted exclusive insight into the inner workings to the mind of a God whose very being and nature extol perfect love? Talk about sin! These hate-mongering, pompous, narrowminded zealots who are so quick to judge their fellow man, have managed, through their own ignorance and naivete, to put themselves into a most precarious position in their own personal . relationship with God. The God of the Old and New Testaments is very clear when speaking to us about his sovereignty. Perhaps it would do some of these "religious folk" well, to revisit the First and Second Commandments and take a more careful look. When God declares that He is "the Lord, thy God" and that we shall have no other gods before us, He is talking one-on-one to the Pat Robertsons, the Jerry Falwells, and the John Pauls. He is telling them in no uncertain terms that He, and He alone is God, and nothing is greater (nor wiser) than Himself certainly not them. The ancient Greeks called it "hubris," the only sin against the gods that was so severe that it was absolutely unforgivable. An example ofhow it worked would go something like this: When a man placed himself in a higher position of authority than the god whom he worshiped, he AINSfREAM RELIGIOUS

•

u S by Mark J. Schroeder

was saying that he was greater and more wise than that god. It was most defInitely a major "no-no" back then-and it still is today. By placing themselves in a position where they are able to "second guess" the Almighty, by telling Him what will and will not happen; it seems pretty clear to me that some of these "holier than thou," self-appointed watchdogs of morality have unwittingly plunked themselves onto pretty dangerous turf. I mean, if God wasn't pretty caught up with the omniscience of His own beWhy are so ing, it wouldn't be the fIrst words he many Fundaspoke to Moses. And speaking of Moses ... re- mentalists member the tablets God wrought preaching a for him? Check out what they say. message of See ifyou can fInd any law mandat- hate when they ing whom you are to love; or with should be whom you are to spend your life, projecting a sharing your tears and your joys, your beacon of hope failures and your successes. I've looked long and hard, trying ro read into or interpret each word in anyway that might remotely suggest an admonition against same sex love and I'll be damned if I can. So why are so many Fundamentalists getting so riled up and preaching a message of hate and bigotry when they should be projecting a beacon oflight and hope. Why didn't God speak up? Guess it just wasn't an issue with God. •

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POLLY

One of America's

RELIGIOUS NUT INVADES MAILBOX! efore the upcoming ballot-box battle for Gay civil rights takes place with referendums designed to take away what gains have been made in the past few years, some self-appointed mouthpieces of God are making their preliminary engagements in the mailbox. We recently received a copy of "Special 'Gay Rights': Fact & Fiction," a lovely little piece ofpropaganda being circulated by the Reverend D. James Kennedy, Ph. Dr. Kenr'edy D. (there must have been a special on has suddenly doctoral degrees in the discovered 7-11, right next to the burritos). Adapted " Hom 0 sex u a I from an earlier version

most widely read

>< ><

weekly publications. Po-

rtKle magazine. recently ran a lesbian-specific question in its "Personality Parade" gossip column. "Q: It has been statecI as

fact that Janet Reno is an

admitted lesbian. I, happen to admire her and would

b e hav i

r is-by Colorado for

Family Values, the

not just like brochure purports to expose the myth of heterosexual "gay rights" as a plot b e h a v i 0 r " 'to "force all of us to accept, affirm, and even subsidize their deviant "lifestyle." This is the type of brochure best read with your eyes closed. Among some of its revelations... Because our choice is right, that's why. Next question. Since Queers "choose" their lifestyle, they shouldn't be protected the way ethnic and biological gender groups are. Of course, the fact that Christianity and other religions are constructed around the "choice" to believe in the unprovable is breezily explained away with a reference to First Amendment protection. You couldn't solve

like the truth. Would you provide it?

R.L., India-

napoliS, IN. ':4.; In various public fo-

rums, such as TVand magazine interviews, Attorney General Janet Reno. 55, has addressed the question of her single status by saying that, although she likes men.

she just hasn't met the right one. Rumors to the contrary notwithstanding, Ms. Reno has never suggested that she is a lesbian. Since her sexual orientation has no ap-

parent bearing on the performance of her duties in office, most people believe that there is no reason to 1'k'I

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a third-grade word problem with logic this circular. Queers are rich, so screw 'em. According to the good doctor and his Colorado friends, all of us are rolling in dough with household incomes of more than $55,000. Queers go to college! And even worse, they travel overseas! The reverend says it best: "Would it be fair for disadvantaged Americans to compete with wealthy homosexuals for minority contracts and special benefits?" Of course not. When we get back from Greece, we'll organize a benefit for them (but only if they chip in on the barn rental.) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's sexual prowess. Somewhere along the way, Dr. Kennedy discovered that "Homosexual behavior is not just like heterosexual behavior." Of course not, silly that's why we like it. From the looks of his statistics, claiming that 43 percent of Queers have had more than 500 sex partners (28 percent have had more than 1,000), it seems some of us have a lot of catching up to do. We've cleaved our calendar through June 1998. Honey, hide the cat! Who knows where they get the time, but according to the .reverend, Queers have managed to molest approximately every other child in the United States and its affiliated territories. You know how it is: you've spent the day making an obscene amount of money, you've met and left Mr. Right umber 2,148, and your trip to Thailand doesn't happen until next week. What else is there to do but buy some lollipops and hang out at the neighborhood playground? Wanna get on Dr. Kennedy's misaligned nerves? Request a copy of his Gay rights "opinion survey": James Kennedy, Ph.D., Coral Ridge Ministries, P.O. Box 407132, Fort Lauderdale, FL 333407132. He'll sell your name to half the religious loony organizations in the country. But every stamp they buy means Granny will have to write a bigger check .. and her Social Security only stretches so far.

POLLY pursue the matter further." Reno was honored

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.... >< ><

last month by the National

Gay & Lesbian Task Force

as an "ally" of the gay community.

The Washington Times'

"'nside the Beltway" political gossip column recently

ran an item about the traumas fadng a transgendering person working at the supersecret CentrallnteJligence

Agency. "To update our item last week about the male CIA employee within the office that analyzes spy satellite photographs who is undergoing a sex change operation," wrote the Times, "[it] turns out... that after the man!

woman approached his/her supervisor not long ago to advise him of his/her desire to become a woman, a closed door congressional hearing resulted on the matter. "Lawmakers at the meet-

POLLY

continued I

ON THE SCENE AT THE HELEN HAYES _

he Helen Hayes, Washington's theatre awards, we~e handed out in a gala ceremony this past Monday, May 9, at the Warner Theatre. The ceremony itself seemed a little staid, lacking the sparkle of previous years but then, what else can you expect when your big musical number is The Hostess With The MostestAt the Ball from "Call Me, Madame" sung by the tonally challenged Tyne Daly? Nonetheless the presentation and the raucous party that followed at the J,W Marriott was fully enjoyable. Celebrity watchers .were not disap•

The

eve n _ pointed and the glitzy list

i n g ,s m

ent e r t aining

included Jane Alexander (honored with the American Express Tribute), Stacy Keach, Richard

mom e n t s we r e Thomas, Eli Wallach and the towering Mercedes • provided by Ruehl. The evening's most the acceptance • • entertammg moments ~ pee c h e s were provided by the acceptance speeches. Accepting his award for Outstanding Supporting Performer in a Non-Resident Play or Musical, "The Kentucky Cycle's" Jacob (Tuck) Milligan, clearly dazed from the win, said: "I'd like to thank every member of the cast

the least of which is Stacy

Keach." Tuck quickly amended his faux pas. "3 Hotels" producer Ron Kastner, accepting the Outstanding Director award for Joe Mantello -.

~ ing...decided.. .if the employee wanted to become a woman. go

.... >< ><

ahead and let him/her. But the employee was asked to limit his/her wardrobe for one year. '''Women's pants are OK, but no dresses; certain types ofshirts are OK. but nothing too feminine or flowery.' said the source."

PROMOTING DEMOCRATS The Human Rights •

Campaign Fund's commitment to serving the interests of the Democratic Party instead of the gay community's, was proved yet again in a recent story in New England's IN News-

weekly, a gay newspaper: HRCF's communications director Gregory King boasted: "HRCF has gone on record stating we do not promote homosexuality. " King was responding to questions about HRCF's unflinching support for Con-

gressman Joseph Kennedy (D-MA) and his wrong vote ~

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continued (who is currently starring on Broadway in '1\ngels in America"), said "Well, I'm sure he would have thanked me." With his long hair flip and frilly Victorian shirt, the lank.ry Reggie Ray resembled a black Twiggy. Ray won for Outstanding Costume Design for his stunning work on Studio Theatre's "Spunk." Playwright icky Silver, whose "Free Will and Wanton Lust" nabbed the Charles MacArthur Award for Outstanding New Play, stole the evening with a series of sarcastically glib, uproarious remarks. "I was so very moved by the opening slide montage tour of the District," he said, referring to the show's lovely if mundane opening multimedia presentation. In acknowledging fellow "Free Will" nominees Jason Kravitz and Naomi Jacobson, both of whom had lost earlier in the evening, the outspoken Silver did not mince words. 'Td like to thank Jason Kravitz, who was screwed tonight... and aomi Jacobson, who was also screwed," he said. The giddy Silver made such a favorable impression on the audience that Mistress of Ceremonies, the chronically-ebullient Pat Carroll chuckled ''1 wish I had that kid's act." And speaking of Carroll, the actress took home yet another award (her third), for her bracing portrayal of the title role in Michael Kahn's production of Bertolt Brecht's "Mother Courage and her Children." (Kahn won for Outstanding director.) â&#x20AC;˘ This is the third time the three-time nominee has won for .ler work leading us to wonder if theatres seekj J a Helen Hayes for their lobby case ought not hire Ms. Carroll away from The Shakespeare Theatre.

POLLY on the virulently homo-

t-3

pholX HanaxX Amend-

ment which would

have prohibited federal money from being spent to "promote" homosexuality to high school students. King bent over backwards to avoid lambasting Kennedy. Maybe HRCF's role as a front group for Democrats is the reason why it won't ,

criticize party members

when they vote incorrectly on gay-specific matters. Whatever the reason, HRCF's unwillingness to .

take Kennedy to task for his vote is inexcusable, especially in light of the fact that the Christian Coalition praised Kennedy for his vote! The "champagne fund" and its spokesman should sober up and realize their top priority is to promote a gay agenda first and Democratic Party interests second. Otherwise, we can expeet Kennedy to cast additional anti-gay votes in the future.

TO ERR IS HUMAN

rbnter~

~m ~'Wili}u ~~ ~®~o~~~o®~~'W

In our mad flurry to get our first edition out last week, we made a few mistakes-not the least of which was getting our phone number wrong on the masthead. These things happen, okay? The CORRECT number is: 202-347-7640. In our ews of the Queer article regarding Spring to Life, we incorrectly reported that the inaugural event brought in $500,000 in funds. STL co-chair David Franco politely pointed out that we were off by about a quarter million dollars. The correct estimate r:tised at last year's extravaganza was· approximately $250,000. We regret the error.

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WEEK

MARCH 21 - APRIL 19

APRIL 20 - MAY 20

o OF

o MAY

s 1 2

1 9

jUNE21JULY 22

JULY 23 -AUG. 22

AUG. 23-

SEPT. 22

by Crystal Ball

ARIES - Your ability to start projects

LIBRA - Business conflicts are tak-

in a grand way will be used quite successfully in the coming days. To get the best results from your natural executive ability, you should have a good work plan that everyone connected to the project understands completely.

ing up too much of your time and you need to rise above it all and get your work done. There are probably too many cooks in the kitchen and it would be better if you stayed in the pantry and organized the shelves for inventory!

SEPT. 23 - OCT. 22

TAURUS - The tides are bringing

SCORPIO - Expressing your desires

changes that offer hope for a brighter future. You should actively pursue broader honwns that might lead to success but be prepared to leave behind those who don't share your dreams. A shon trip can be revitalizing.

a new love will break the ice and start a flood of emotions that will be hard to control. If you expect too much, too early and too soon you won't be able to receive honest communication from your potential partner. to

OCT. 23NOV. 21

GEMINI - Learn better ways to take care ofyourself. Inner conflicts arise

MAY 21 JUNE 20

ope

and upset your system. The need for a creative outlet is strong and should be pursued until you find the proper outlet. Don't let other people's plans get in the way ofyour peace ofmind.

SAGITTARIUS - Advancement in

NOV.22 DEC. 21

your career is making it difficult to separate your personal and business lives. Avoid overexposure and keep quiet about what goes on in your office. A slip of the tongue can become front page news if you aren't careful.

CANCER - The next few days will

CAPRICORN - Your friends are

offer you different circumstances which will be in your favor. Be aware of time limitations and don't plan on too many activities that involve unsolicited work. There is no need to overwork yourself if you don't have to.

becoming the cornerstone for advancement and respect. It's time to dust off those old dreams of yours and realize that they are possible to attain again. Test the waters in comfortable surroundings before you take the high dive.

DEC. 22AN 19

LEO - You'll make it through a bar-

AQUARIUS - You are about to

rier that has been standing in your way and be able to do some ofyour best work. Your finances should improve when you are able to finish a project that you have been putting off. Stop procrastinating and finish it.

enter a very good period when you don't have to take life so seriously. Don't brood and be concerned about the future for a while. 1iy to enjoy the present to the fullest and take advantage of what you have worked so hard for.

JAN 20FEB. 18

VIRGO - Refuse to allow anyone

PISCES - Strange circumstances will

to take advantage ofyou. Especially a Pisces or Libra. Someone is keeping vital information from you that you need to make the right career move. Don't take anything at it's face value and don't let anyone take you for granted.

alter the course of a friendship and affect your love relationship. Don't make any big changes in your social life right away and don't burn your bridges. Keep an open mind because you will probably change your ~ mind next week.

FEB. 19MARCH 20

Dear Diva, Last week, I went to the supermarket to get a dozen large eggs and they were only $1.29. This week I went to the same store to get the same type of eggs and the clerk tried to charge me $1.30. Well, I was livid. I asked to speak to the manager on duty and was told by him that the eggs last week were mispriced. Diva I don't buy that excuse one bit. I wasn't born yesterday. I know when the wool is being pulled over my eyes. So I told him that he and his store had committed a gross injustice to the consumers and, on behalf of all their customers, I would never shop in their establishment again. Wouldn't you do the same, Diva?

your letter. It's such a waste of time that Diva gave her personal mailman and garbage man a substaritial raise just to make up for the energy they wasted delivering it and throwing it out. Poor, misguided strange one, next time you have a dollar and thirty cents to spare, try shopping for a life-you need that much more than eggs.

"You place it in your lap so it can absorb your spills, dummy!" After an unsuccessful dinner, my mother explained to me that she could only make out the word napkin on the box of Kotex (the box belonged to my sister). She said she thought they were a little bulky to be regular napkins but decided that they must be some sort of super absorbent brand or something. Diva what can I do? She refuses to get her eyes checked and I'm afraid to leave her by herself. -Not Seeing Eye to Eye

Oh, your poor, sweet mother. Diva remembers when her mother went through a similar crises. It was right Dear Diva, before Diva decided to place her at Shadey Bitch ursing My poor mother is going Home. (Back then, it was called Shadey Birch but some blind and refuses to admit it. She's doing things that really graffiti artist placed a 't' where embarrass me because she can't the 'r' was and its been the see what she's doing. Last same ever since-but that's month while my mother was neither here nor there.) You are justified in being afraid to staying wi.th me I invited my best friends, some of whom are leave mommy dearest to her -.Pissed Off lesbian (Pm a gay man), to my own devices. Believe me there's house for a dinner party. Well, no telling how much havoc a DearPOed, my mother insisted that she blind mother can unleash. If your unfortunate dinner help so I asked her to set the Sweetheart, your letter puts table and not to forget to have incident didn't convince her to the U in MUNDANE and the napkins placed on each plate. see an eye doctor, then honey, Oh, she placed napkins on each you'll just have to drag her S in ridiculous. Honey, don't you have a life or are you some plate all right... feminine kicking and screaming against her will. While this may sound overaged houseboy who's gone napkins. It wasn't until after senile? Of all the many years the guests were seated at the horrendous, consider it tough Diva has been dispensing her table that I came out of the love on your part. After all, it's her well-being and safety we wisdom to the broken hearted' kitchen to discover my and those with serious conmother's unintended faux pas. are talking about. And rememcerns she has never received When one guest as~ why a ber, if all else fails there's feminine napkin was on her always a vacancy at Shadey such a paltry pile of petty plate my mother shouted, Bitch nursing home. words as those contained in Address your questions or matters of ooncem to Diva clo MW, 724 9th Street, N.W.â&#x20AC;˘ Suite 429, Washington, DC 20001. Or FAX your message to 202-347-7811. Opinions expressed are Diva's and do not necessarily reflect those of Metro Arts & Entertainmen Weekly. Letters are subject to editing.

The Adventures of e

oc by Sir Mark Jason Schroeder

docks along the Thames." Sholmes ran his hand A Stu3;9 X: along one of the feathered walls, and then carefully smelled his palm. ''Yes! That's it precisely!" "That's what?" I demanded, having no idea he second floor ofthe Chyken whatsoever what my companion's powers of Coop Emporium provided a deduction and observation had revealed to him. "Don't you see, Witless?" declared Sholmes striking contrast to the dingy, foul-smelling public room be- excitedly. "We've stumbled upon not only the lo\¥. As Sholmes, Latreen and lair ofour fiendish culprit, but one of the most I reached the top of the stair- sophisticated smuggling operations ever decase, we were all momentarily taken aback by vised in the history of the British Empire." the complexity of the engineer"You're not speaking of the ing that went into the construcRangoon Conspiracy?" interjected Latreen. tion of the labyrinthine architec"Aye! Indeed I am, Inspecture that lay before us. Long cor- "We've stumridors of which there were no tor." bled upon not less than eight spidered out in "Well I'll be flogged!" reall directions, each lit by a series only the lair torted Latreen. "The Yard's been of gas lamps placed at regular inworking on that case ever since I of our fiend• tervals along the richly colored was walking a beat." walls covered, almost entirely, ish culprit." ''Latreen, there's not a mowith lavender feathers. ment to lose! Go downstairs and declared "Why this is amazing!" I desummon as many of your men clared, barely able to comprehend Sholmes ... you can muster up!" Sholmes rethe immensity of the floor plan. moved a small piece of paper but one of "How can this be? The buil~g from his pocket and examined it simply didn't look this large from themost carefully. "What time is it, Witthe outside." less?" "It's not," replied Sholmes sophistica ted "A few minutes past three." "Excellent! There's still time. without an instant's hesitation. smuggling "Notice how each hallway slopes According to my notes, the HMS • downward and curves out of operatl0ns Ambergris is due to set sail on sight. It's my guess that these cor- ever devised!" the tide... less than two hours from no\¥. Take your men andridors connect to other adjacent at all costs stop that vessel from buildings via underground tunnels, ultimately terminating sailing. Once you've accomsomewhere in the maze of alleyways across the plished that, round up another dozen or so men street, where the constable lost track of the flee- and meet Doctor Witless and me back here." ing Mr. Wilkins." "With pleasure, Mr. Sholmes." Latreen did a "What do you make of it? What is the pur- quick about face and ran down the wooden pose of all this?" inquired Latreen, scratching stairs as swiftly as his ponderous body would his balding pate. allovv, s outing jubilantly: "Oh! This will be "And those alleyways no doubt lead to the quite a feather in my cap when the Inspector

in Laven3elJ Part The Conclusion

M:V

General learns that I have solved the most baf, fling case in the history of the Yard! I'll be up for a promotion, for sure!" Sholmes looked at me knowingly as the Inspector disappeared from view, and whispered, "That idiot couldn't detect a fart in a paper handbag... but that's not important now. We must find Paul." I looked around to catch my bearings, still amazed and confounded by the vast number ofrooms and parlours that communicated with the mind-boggling hallways. "Where do we begin, Sholmes? He _ could be in any of the rooms. It'll take us the rest of the night to search each one. By then it could be too..." "Don't distress yourself, my dear Doctor," said Sholmes confidently. He then positioned himself with his arms extended in the center of the hub from which all the corridors appeared to originate. "In addition to all my other formidable powers, ,. I am also a human .' . compass. Observe." ;., I watched in to, tal disbelief as Sholmes began to spin around on one leg, gathering greater and greater dizzying momentum, until his slender form looked like little more than a blurred image caught up in some sort of cyclonic Maelstrom. After several moments of this super-human feat, the likes of which defied not only all laws of human anatomy and physiology, but gravity as well; he came to an abrupt stop, poised and fully alert with but one arm extended, like a Brittany spaniel on the point. "Good God, Sholmes! Are you all rIght?" He looked at me as if my question were an I

insult to his performance. "Of course I'm all right, Witless! Haven't I told you that when it comes to Paul, he and I are attracted to each other as a compass needle is to due north? o~ let us waste not another moment. Follow me!" The corridor we trespassed was thickly carpeted in a brightly colored pink hued fabric of extraordinary beauty. I had seen similarly constructed carpets in only one other part of the world-Afghanistan. "This whole excursion has been positively amazing, Sholmes. Each moment that I am in your company, I take further and further leave of my senses. At this rate, by dawn, I fear I shall have 10 t my mind completely, and fall within the ranks of Latreen." Sholmes snickered playfully at my comment, remarking that he didn't believe such erosion of the intellect was even within the realm of possi bili ty. He then paused in front of one of the doors and announced: "This is it, Witless. Paul awaits beyond the threshold." (~ you say. But seeing is believing." The door to the parlour was unlocked, and we entered cautiously. Unlike the hallway, the lighting in this large circular chamber was austere and subdued, illuminated only by a singular lamp which hung pendulously from the center of the room, and beneath which was situated a table, not unlike those seen in operating theatres. Around the periphery of the room were arranged chairs of varying description, some appeared to be comfortably padded with fme upholstery, others were stark and purely functional in design.

"Hmm... if I did not know better," said I, I could have lasted in that thing," gasped the "one would think we had just entered a sur- terrilled boy. "Who did this to you, Paul?" queried gery." "Not to be fooled, Witless. This is no Sholmes, his eyes, even in the darkness of the surgery. ..at least not of the type with which you room, glared like beacons. "Mr. WI.1k.ins. He took me up here and was are familiar. My guess is that we have happened upon the sanetv sanetoru1'l~ of a diabolical cult about to cut me to pieces; he was...just a few of devil worshippers. Observe, Witless," re- minutes ago. But I guess he heard you and the marked Sholmes as he struck a match and Doctor talking downstairs and made off walked farther into the room, "this is not a table thtough that door." Paul pointed to a small paswhere the ills of the infIrm are excised, but an sageway on the far side of, the wall. "He had altar where the bodies of young men are dis- me on the table, stripped me of all me clothes, sected and offered up as a sacrifIce to the pow- shackled me with this leather restrainer, covers of darkness." ered me with these feathers ...Oh, it was awful, As I approached my companion, there came Mr. Sholmes..." from a netherpart of the room a "Calm down, lad," I said, atforlorn and mournful groan. With tempting to inspire confIdence in the quickness of a bolt of light- Paul's body the quaking form before me. "Mr. Sholmes and I will have evning, Sholmes fell to his knees, and striking another match with was bound erything under conttol. ..won't which to better explore, discovi n we, Sholmes?" rigidly ered almost immediately a large "Indeed we shall, Witless." cocoon-shaped object making its some sort of . Then, turning his attention back to Paul, Sholmes asked," Will you way cumbersomely across the far loathsome be able to lead the way?" reaches of this chamber of hor"Yes, I think I can do that, but rors. apparatus I don't have any clothes...rm as "Come quickly, Witless," cried Sholmes. "Your professional assis- fashioned naked as a jaybird." And indeed he was. Paul, tance is once again required!" from thick without a stitch of clothes to I ran to my companion's side and was horrifIed by what lay be- 1eather and cover his ivory-colored fraple, sat before us, fully erect. fore us. Paul's tender young body c o v e r e d Paul gazed down at himself was all but paralyzed, bound rigidly in some sort of loathsome in lavender and commented with an embarrassed charm that only adolesapparatus fashioned from thick leather and covered with an array feathers cents can express, "But what oflavender feathers. Only a shock . about this? It won't go away, even of his red hair could be seen - - . with all rve been through." "Don't you worry about that," said Sholmes emerging from the confmes of his prison, and a small orillce, cut into the front of the gro- understandingly, "we'll take care of that back tesque mask which held his head immobile, at Baker Street. Right now we've got a mur- . derer to apprehend. Just lead the way, and leave allowed for any chance of breath. Cutting frantically through the ungodly con- the rest to Doctor Witless and myself." Paul rose to his feet; it amazed me how raptraption that threatened our young friend's very existence with the pocket knife, which I always idly he had managed to recover from his gruelcarried in my coat pocket, I managed, in short ing episode. A man my age most likely would order, to liberate Paul from his imminent ap- have required the services of a team of physicians to muster the energy this remarkable pointment with death. "Doctor Witless! Mr. Sholmes! Thank God young man exhibited as he led th~ way through you found me! I don't know how much longer the entanglement of corridors leading downâ&#x20AC;˘

t-XV

•

interests, Paul, are not in pi• geons. He uses therp only as a subterfuge for his true longings. But he's a clever man, and for that I must extend him some degree of credit. No~ how much farther before we arrive at his private domain?" "It's that door over there," said Paul. "Are you sure?" asked I, still unwilling to accept that the boy had full use of his faculties. "Oh, Pm quite sure, Doctor Witless. No mistaking about it, it's the only door that's painted green. I remember that clearly." Upon reaching the appointed door, Sholmes, without an instant's hesitation and with a display of strength beyond all human understanding, barged through the blockade, only to find that Constable wards to where Paul professed we would fInd Smythe, one of Latreen's less intelligent lackour villain. eys, had serendipitously happened upon "He had me down here most ofthe evening," Wtlkins, and was in the process of arresting him said Paul as we walked through the seemingly on an outstanding warrant for cruelty to aniendless, non-descript corridors. "At fIrst I was mals. Evidently, some of the neighbors, who taken to a type of laboratory and given some themselves were pigeon lovers, had called the kind ~f drug that would put me to sleep...but Yard and had prompted an investigation leadit didn't. I guess the stuff I messed with earlier ing to the rogue's arrest. this afternoon in your rooms, Mr. Sholmes, had At the sight of the- perplexing-but not unsome kind of affect on me that made me im- satisfying solution to what would become one mune. I was able to keep accurate mental notes of Sholmes' most remarkable cases; he could as to where I was being taken, and it shouldn't not deprive himself of a hardy laugh. take us long to get where we need to go. I think WJ1kins will still be there. He's a real strange man. Loves pigeons, though. Must Qave half a million of 'em in his laboratory. Don't know why he wants them all, all they do is squawk When fmally Sholmes, Paul and I returned and make a mess all over everything. The place to Baker Street, it was nearly ten o'clock the smells real bad, too. Like a henhouse in mid next morning. I had not slept in nearly twentyfour hours, but in spite of my extreme state of July." "Our friend Mr. Wilkins," explained exhaustion, there were some puzzling aspects Sholmes, "is a very unusual sort of man. His of the case which I simply had to get clear in •

M'I

my mind. So, as the three of us sat around the small breakfast table devouring a delightful repast ofpoached eggs and kippered frog's legsa delicacy Mrs. Huggnuts took great delight in preparing--5holmes enlightened both Paul and myself with the following brief dissertation. ''In addition to the nefarious Mr. Wtlkins' pathological and salacious desire for boy meat, he was also heavily involved in the illicit import of rare tropical birds from all corners of the world. Of particular fascination to him is a species of pigeon whiep thrives abundantly in Madagascar and Rangoon. A genus of bird, as it turns out, that secretes a natural purplish dye from its plumage, a dye that when mixed with common vinegar and salt acts not only as a preservative, but a powerful aphrodisiac. Quite by accident, Wilkins discovered that tremendous profits could be derived by providing his parlor house clients with large dosages of this marvelous substance by immersing fowl eggs in it, and offering them free of charge as a snack." "What an extraordinarily clever marketing concept," I remarked. "The more pickled products his perverted customers consumed, the greater their need for his boys' services. A positively inspired idea, I must admit." . '%1d you can take it from me," added Paul, whose own perpendicular appendage remained as rigid as a mast pole, "that his profits were quite substantial."

''A..!}!" interjected Sholmes. ''Now there's something I am curious about. Just how much, on the average, did Mr. Wtlkins' clients spend in an evening?" "Depended on what they were looking to do, Mr. Sholmes...anywhere from a few shillings to several hundred pounds," answered Paul. "But if you want to know the truth of the matter..." "Yes," encouraged Sholmes, "go on." 'Td be willing to pay a tidy fee if only someone would relieve me of this growing problem," confessed Paul, indicating his anatomical curiosity. "Well then!" declared Sholmes, jumping to . his feet. "I have just the solution, and it won't cost you a farthing." "Oh? And what might theit be?" inquired the lad, allowing an enticing smile to brighten up his already cherubic face. Sholmes indicated that we should both follow him to the bed chamber. ''It's a quaint little game I learned in my childhood. It was taught to me by my brother M ycrosoft and one of his friends .. .it's called 'Sandwich,' and is very easy to learn." ''Intriguing. How does it work?" asked I. "FIrst we take our places in bed. Witless, you and I are the pieces of bread, and Paul is the meat-in this case chicken. And as far as the rules go, well, they're somewhat...shall we say, elementary, my dear Witless... elementa.ry." â&#x20AC;˘

Henry James Reginald Thurgood Marshal Wilkins (aka The Zipper) was, of course, charged with far more serious crimes than cruelty to animals, including, in diminishing order: First degree murder (four counts), false imprisonment (eight counts), conspiracy to traffic ip stolen goods (1,003 counts), and buggery (6,753,002 counts).

He waS sentenced to eight hundred and six years in the Marshalsea prison for crimes against humanity. And upon completion of that sentence, will be remanded

the government of Singapore where he will face 9,011 lashes

with an antiseptically soaked bamboo cane.

•

• •

•

â&#x20AC;˘

Life-threatening plagues. Duet-singing butts. A chorus line of naked men singing in a gay bathhouse. Victorian explorer Sir Richard Burton on a search for IIpatient zero,1I the mythical gay man accused of transporting the plague to North America. These are not things one typically associates with amovie musical. Then again, there's nothing typical about Canadian filmmaker John Greyson's astonishing new film, IIZero Patience," which will have its Washington Premiere next Thursday, May 19, at 7:00 p.m. in a benefit for One-in-Ten and Brother, Help Thyself. Funny, intelligent and deeply moving, IIZero Patience is no mere piece of art-house schlock, but a motion picture as wry, intelligent and entertaining as the man behind it. Interview by Randy Shulman ll

Metro Weekly: So you've made a movie musical about AIDS. How did it come about? John Greyson: It all began in 1987 with the publication of Randy Shilts' "And the Band Played On." There was...an excerpt published in California Magazine, that...dealt exclusively with the "patient zero" myth. What became interesting to me was why the mass media exclusively. ..focused on this mythology about a [French Canadian] airline attendant accused ofbringing AIDS to North America. I think.. .it had to do with what we'd already seen a lot of in the epidemic: finger pointing and scapegoating. Society seemed more interested in assigning blame than doing anything productive to fmd a cure, or help those with AIDS. It's ridiculous, because there's no rational way to assign blame to a virus.

tide in the epidemic. One of the things that really characterized ACT UP was a new sense ofhow to do politics that included wit, humor, style and media smarts. What better way to pay tribute than make (~S: The Musical"? Were you ever a member of ACT UP? AIDS Action ow, which is the equivalent group here in Canada. It's intriguing hpw you treat activists in the film. We're not really sure how to respond to them until the very end, when things suddenly turn celebratory. One of the things I wanted to do was write the movie from within the movement...and deal with some of the dilemmas activists face. Not simply do propaganda for the movement, but explore some of the hard, painful issues. For instance, what does it feel like to be demonstrating publicly outside a multinational pharmaceutical [corporation] one day, and then go home and take your pills? What does it mean to speak with certainty about this treatment drug, but at the end of the day, have real doubts about whether it is helping or hindering you?

It's interesting because we're not gonna fmd a cure until we fmd a cause. But the search for the cause isn't the problem per se. The problem is [that] the search for the cause is fueled by all sorts of ideological baggage, including me extreme homophobia we've been living with through the AIDS epidemic-the extreme racism, the extreme bigotry, the creating of a new You deal with that issue in the character of pariah caste in society of junkies and homos George, who goes blind from CMV [cytomeand Mricans. And so this subject matter... gatOTlirzl-s retinitis]. It balances the film's emerged as the thing I wanted to address. lighter moments by lending depth and poigoancy. â&#x20AC;˘ I understand all that, but what I'm really interested in is why exactly a musical? You know, one of the interesting responses btfore people see the film is "How can you posThe other trigger was the formation of ACT sibly do a musical about AIDS? How tasteless!" I UP and a new style of AIDS politics, which That's because the popular notion of musicals wasn't polite. Like so many people, I was very is that they're the fluffiest genre possible, [that] much swept up in the early activism. It seemed they have no content, no depth, no emotions. that fighting back was a real way to reclaim In fact, you look back to the history of musisome of what we'd lost and a way to turn the cals and you actually see quite a politicized traâ&#x20AC;˘

. MV

dition. The most obvious is "Cabaret," but there are other musicals like "Hair" and "Fiddler on the Roof" that...[use] the form not only to give pleasure and spectacle but also to explore loss, grief, sadness, doubt, etc. So [composer]. Glenn Schellenberg and I [took] this very discredited, empty, fluffy genre and filled it up again with very urgent contemporary politics. I admit that I initially approached the film a little trepidatiously, but as things went on, I was seduced by it, getting caught up in the playfulness of the musical numbers. What really springs to mind are the singing assholes. â&#x20AC;˘

[Laughs. ] A playful little number, appealing to the family audience. Where in God's name did you come up with that idea? Throughout the fIlm, I wanted to address not only tough political issues, but also tough personal issues-like anal sex for gay men in the age of AIDS, like a critique of empiricism and scientiflc certainty. [These are] subjects that, if you write naturalistic dialogue, tend to be e~Â ther dry or dull. So the strategy was to take subject matter that doesn't fIt in our notion of an entertaining movie and, by setting it to music, get people thinking about the issues. Especially an audience [who], when it comes to anal sex, doesn't really want to talk about it). You're forcing us to face our own lives. ?

"Zero Patience" was, right from the start, a illm intended to be by and for the AIDS community-and that includes everyone who's living with the disease. It also includes moms and dads

and aunts and uncles-people who would never talk about the subject of anal sex. By getting people laughing, you build a bridge, opening the doors for some sort of dialogue. Because, at the end of the day, this epidemic is all about anal sex, all about our personal fears and society's fears. ,

I thought the sequence was very funny, very tastefully done, and a visual kick. You want to have a memorable visual punch that people walk away with remembering. And I didn't feel it was all that shocking, since they were essentially puppets. It's the Bert and Ernie version of anal sex. Itirthefirsttime I have seen a film , credit for a "butthole puppeteer." That's not likely to crop up

I wanted to address tough personal'issues, likeanalsex for gay men intheageof AIDS, a subject that, if you write natu raiistic dialogue, tends to be dry

otten, next to gaffer, is it? Frankly, I was impressed with the musical numbers overall. The song "Six or Seven Things" is absolutely extraordinary. I hope there's a soundtrack album coming out. I'd like to buy it.

(continued on page 32) ~

'AVA COME OUT AND

FRIDAt May 13 Door proce ..... BLAC '. ,:. ,

•

• ,

TO THE MAX!

•

SATURDAY, MAY 14 NO COVER! Complimentary Champagne t 11 m, Midni ht, and 1am • $1.75 Rail Drinks • J . uvres· rom 8p '.. " •

•

:Ij

\. :

.' ;. ".,

,'I'

PARTY

ANZ

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"1'., )l;

"~ll!' ..NI' I .j

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J Dave - starts at 4pm BACK - starts at 6pm wI DJ Percy - starts at 7pm

11'

r--------- . Saturday, May 21

Come meet the members of

BLACK AND WHITE MEN TOGETHER (BWMT) 6 to 9pm Food, Decorations, Dancing

1735 Maryland Ave" Baltimore, MD • 410.539,6965 &1.800.863.6965

•

ill

•

by aorni d'Plume EXTRAl EXTRAl LOCAL CLUB GETS A MASTECTOMYl.... We hear tell a certain local

establishment that recently went bisexual in an attempt to attract business, has reconsidered, and will once again become a full-fledged homo-haven. Yes, that's right, everyone, the Custom House will be divesting, (or should we say debreasting?) itselfof the female element in an effort to return the club to its original format. We here at the mag wish Joe and Tom the best of luck in turning things around. As for Miss Amanda, we wish her luck in any and all of her future ventures.

the first Mr. Frederick Contest. The bar hosting and sponsoring the event is none other than Maryland's newest alternative nite Spot...Talons! The show will be hosted by none other than Miss Tia ·Chambers. We expectorate a good time will be had by all. CONFIDENTIAL TO RiCK.... We don't know

what you were thinking, but we unanimously disapprove ofthe color ch'!Oge to your hair. When it comes to hair color we agree with the old adage: "To thine own self be true," After all, halfof Baltimore already knows your natural color (as do their dentists).

THE LADY VANiSHES.... The mystery has

been solved concerning the disappearance of Central Station manager Steve Martin. It seems Steve has relocated back to Northern Virginia. The only thing is that he neglected to tell some very important people: his landlord, his employer, his pet tarantula, his bookie, his Uncle Martin, his Aunt Bessie, the dirty underwear he left at the laundromat.... HUNK ALERT!. ... Those hunky mucho gorgeoso Men of Adonis will grace the stage,

or is it bar, ofClub Adantis this Saturday, May 14th. It might be interesting to see who will accompany them to the bar!

NAME THAT TUNE.... Who's theme song is now going to be "And I Am Telling You... Pm

otGoing!" WE'RE WARM FOR YOUR FORM.... This

week's coveted WWFYF Award goes to a gentleman named Cory, who we met at the Stud this past weekend. He was so hot, he could give a dog a bone! So what's the story, Cory, you up for a night ofpain and glory? •

WE THINK WE'RE GOING TO HURL....

Who was the queen who recently showed up wearing this blonde wig that looked like she borrowed it from Garth on ''Wayne's World?" The EVE'S DROPPiNGS.... Eve was awakened, damned thing looked like she did it with a weed after having one too many Singapore Stings (you whacker. One can only guess that she drives one know that drink, it's like a ingapore Sling, only ofthose cheap foreign imports-the ones without after three, you don't give a damn if they spray the vanity mirrors. paint your face, lock you up in Jail, or bullwhip your butt). Eve heard the following tid-bits while IT'S SHOWTIME AT THE HiPPO.... Drag our imbibing: 1) Who's boyfriend was wander- yourself our of the house this Sunday night, ing aimlessly along the side ofthe road and had to and see Dena's Fantasy Cabaret at the Hippo. retrieved? ... 2) Is yet another bar, off the Showtime, as usual, is 10:00 pm.. .beaten path, on the market? ... 3) Who threatened to boycott the recently canceled "Queen FIRST ANNIVERSARIES ALWAYS MAKE of Pride" pageant, because she was not asked to US CRy.... A Very Happy First Anniversary to P.T. MAX, who will celebrate all weekend long. be involved? Inquiring minds want to know! Be sure and stop down and see the crew, beWHERE THE BOYS ARE.... Take a drive up cause just like at the burger joint, they do it all for the country this Sunday, May 15th, to witness you!

I·

1 F"

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W A S H I N , G T •C N 1 S

M A IN BY

EVENT DAVID

ZSADIN

e'd be hard pressed to think of John Niederhauser gradually picked up the any other occasion where so intensity by adding pumping strobes, and many people were having so eventually the rafters of lights broke through much fun while raising money for AIDS the gauze research. But that was the spirit during the and second annual Spring ,to Life Weekend. coursed The opening night welcome reception at down the Galleria at Lafayette Centre, produced by towards the Michael Chaban, went flawlessly. The crowd crowd. enjoyed a sumptuous buffet catered by By Occasions of Capitol Hill and enthralled in 11:30, \ entertainment provided by the always . Mark amazing "a capellites" BETTY the thunder'Thrbox ously funny Judy Gold;tnd the elegant drew the Maggie Moore. crowd The following night, despite uncooperative down to L to R: STL Co-chair David von Ston::h, Mapplethorpe Laboratory diweather, the local partying brigade came out floor with rector Jerome E. Groopman, M.D., and visiting committee chair Ron en masse. If you haven't partied at the Post Janet Ansin. • Office Pavilion before, it's a nice, cavernous Jackson, • , space. The Food Court was transand by 12: 15 his disco-ish sets had the floor packed. formed into a very A lot of revelers got into large dance floor, • the mezzanine level the spirit of the evening served as a general by wearing flowers, including one fellow observation deck, and who lined his yellow an upper balcony jeans with daisies. functioned as the v.I.P. , lounge. The atrium was .. R""n Overall, the word paul t+fa.... .,ntr'buti!'C art\St ~ (we thi~)' for the night was . decorated with colorful \.. to R: ,~.~ . .. ~~. and Q,ar\\8 "butch "Muscles muscles (, kites and hot-air balloons o~~·-·· ." muscles-from the looks of it, you'd think toting baskets of flowers. The light show initially was a rather small, there was some sort of minimum pectoral but intricate, display of Intellabeams filtered and/or bicep requirement. A lot of these guys went with the "Pm man enough to get away through a sheet o.f white gauze. Light tech I

•

with wearing a skirt" look as kilts and short

the Spring to Life Dance looked like it was

skirts were everywhere. Andrew Donner

turning out to be more successful than ~ey

said he was taking the

had anticipated earlier in

look "one step

the week. As our

further" with his

associate, Bobby

Mrican-print mini.

Serralta, said this was "Washington's chance to

The special, top secret performer was...

be 'in the circuit''' and it

Chane11e who sang

certainly seemed like

"One Man" and her

Spring to Life rose to the

hit "Work That Body."

momell as did the gay â&#x20AC;˘

Talk about incendiary

Couch potato Kevin Aviance and hunks.

commuruty. More important

lung power! (We noticed DJ Darryl Strickland jamming

was the fact that the revellers were partying

around to her performance.) Chanelle was a

for a cause: The funds raised go to The

good choice for a performer, and she made a

Robert Mapplethorpe Laboratory for AIDS

point of mentioning her SlJpport for gay and

Research, which is doing extraordinary

lesbian causes.

research into the treatment of AIDS by using

One pre-party concern had been trying to entice people to come to Washington in a

gene therapy. "The kinds of funds generated here are

year that most people are planning to spend

tremendously powerful," said Dr. Jerome

their vacations in New York. Well, it didn't

Groopman, director of the Mappelthorpe

â&#x20AC;˘

Lab, "because they're granted immediately.

seem to stop a soul as out-of-

[Hence], we can apply

towners were everywhere. One partier flew in from Oakland,

them immedi-

California, just for the main

ately."

event. Our new associate, Ed

By not being

Benz came down from

just another

Philadelphia for this and he

party, by striving to help out a

didn't even show up for last

cause, Spring to

year's March on Washington. Former D.C. native Richie Britt, came from

Life gains a

As USlJa/, AlIiSOl) has BEiTy

to be difr. P~pe,.formance~fT!nt:

significance not found on any other

New York expresSly for Spring to Life as we1l, and the fabulous Kevin Aviance was

party on the major circuit...

flown up from Miami. He reported that he

It actually has meaning.

would be performing at the After Life party later that evening. Publicity Director Scott Marker said that

H 1I 1 (J' ,:

I ( : I i J\ I~ ()

V [ IN

IM M I

-Paul Myatt contributed to this article.

We've got a deal with Milan Records; it will be in stores in a few months. I enjoyed the song "Pop-A-Boner." Naked men dancing with towels in a bathhouse is just not where one normally expects to find a musical number. The whole "patient zero myth" was wrapped up around notions ofgay promiscuity, and the bathhouses figured so strongly in the early eighties as a place where... things got fought. The flip side of an ACT UP meeting is, in fact, , the bath houses. I wanted to address that directly. I wasn't about to tiptoe around the issue the way some of the mainstream films like "Philadelphia" did, where you never had a sense that the main characters were part ofa gay community, except during the party scene. It's interesting you bring up "Philadelphia." I didn't like the film-purely as a film. I thought director Jonathan Demme walked his way through it. What a talented filmmaker and where was he? • Why didn't he come to the set and frame some shots? [Laughs.]

value it. To be able to make an unapologetic gay film that's in theatres and is having some sort of impact is exciting. A horrible question just occurred to me. Do you think that the AIDS epidemic can be , viewed, in a strange way, as a positive thing for the gay community by gaining us wider acceptance within the straight community? Well, that's not a framework rd use. To ever • speak about AIJ;)S as anything other than an incredible disaster, does a disservice to all the people who have died. Oh God, I'm not saying that. Absolutely not. What I'm asking is if there's a small silver lining here in the sense that it has at least brought us more respect, more compassion than we were treated with ten, twenty years ago? We'll never have the luxury of knowing what would have happened if the epidemic hadn't occurred. But I think looking back over the past fifteen years of the epidemic, the thing that strikes me again and again is that there has been an increase of visibility. You can chart the progress, absolutely, in terms of public discourse, in terms of acceptance on a personal level, the way workplaces have been transformed. People can be out on the job or in their living situations. • The flip side has been that AIDS has been the great mobilizing force of the right wing. Jesse Helms and all those interchangeabl assholes have built their power structure on the back of AIDS. So I think it's been, to quOt~ Mr. Dickens, the best and worst of times. •

Creatively, it was a grave disappointment. But it can be argued that it di~ its job in educating middle America.

• "Philadelphia" deserves some credit,' because nothing could be more important than a film about...a gay couple living with AIDS being number one at the box office. That's accomplishing a great deal and it is a great achievement. We've finally reached a point where straight audiences aren't scared to go into a gay film, terrified that someone might think they Something else I really enjoyed was your too are gay. We're going through a turning visual style. Pm so tired of seeing these flat point right now in gay culture where people movies, where they just sit the camera down

and shoot everything for the television frame. But you have some wonderful sets, inventive set designs, and ~ terrific way of framing your images. It's delightful to see creativity again. But you're working as an independent. Do you ever fear that the moment you get into "the Hollywood system," you'll be stripped of that?

alization ofAIDS. And the collective grass roots challenges to how health care is practiced, initiated in the mid-eighties, are now being left behind as a new class of professionals come in and get very well paying jobs to administer AIDS. But they aren't necessarily that in touch with what people with AIDS really want. That's the big fight nov.'.

You bet. What I want to do is stay based here in Toronto. There's an ability to get projects funded that are off the beaten track and more â&#x20AC;˘ esoteric. For me to turn around and pack my bags and go to L.A where I have friends who've been waiting for ten years for that first break, for their very conventional, very tame project, well...where's the attraction?

It's interesting Zero Patience that you bring up health care, was from the because I know so many people who have no start a film health insurance. As far as intended I'm concerned I What effort is the Canadian government think socialized to be by and putting towards the AIDS fight? medicine is a much needed fortheAIDS Mixed bag. There's been some very gao<:f stuff thing. What are that's happened .over the past five, six years as the ups and a result of activism. And because we're starting downs of the community from the base of a health care system, a lot of system that you the struggles have been within that specific find in your including context: extending the .sort of procedures or country? priorities that are given over to other life threateveryone ening diseases across the board to people with The upside ofour AIDS. We're starting from a much better posi- health care sysliving with ~on, and we've achieved a fair amount. But it's tem is that it a health care system that very much follows the guarantees lead ofthe V .S.~pecially around research and people a good, the dis e a s e treatment. If a treatment drug hasn't been re- basic level of leased in the States, it's that much harder to health care and get it released here. But things are getting bet- heath care proviter. There's tons ofwork to do and tons offights sion. And contrary to all the fearmongering to be fought. But the infrastnictures are in place thafs going on in the V.S. press: you can to fight them now in a way that didn'Âˇt exist choose your own doctor at every stage. The biggest single thing that undermines the delivfive, ten years ago. My set of concerns-and I think a lot of ac- ery of health care, however, is a value system tivists share this-is that what's really happen- built on V.S. technology. You have this increding now is bureaucratization and profession- ibly high-tech expense of evasive technology â&#x20AC;˘

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and treatments, which are [surrounded by] big questions as to whether they hurt more than they help. I always think of the example of the mammogram, which has become so ubiquitous in every doctor's office, a very expensive piece of machinery that [comprises] a billion dollar industry. There was this huge, conclusive study done about five years ago that proved it was a worse diagnostic tool than self-examination. It's absolutely useless. But it's ubiquitous because several companies 9ecided they could make fortunes off it. For me, that [example] sums up the problem of a health care policy that is profit driven, not people driven. You see it in AIDS, too. Why do treatment drugs cost so much? There's big questions about why a person with AIDS has to spend $10,000 a year on a treatment that is of, at best, dubious value. Hopefully one day humankind will overcome greed and work as a society together.

gress. I think, too, what interested me about Burton was, when you get past the he-man mystique, the swashbuckling adventurer mystique, what you find [was] that he aetualiy failed all his life. He failed to find the source of the• Nile, failed to understand the implications ofhis very extensive anthropology in Mrica and around the world, failed to have any sort of decent sex life, despite his very extensive sexological explorations into various cultures. And so I thought what better candidate to fail in the search for the source of AIDS than Mr. Burton? You've made a musical about AIDS and you're touching, changing, enriching lives through it. I applaud you. Do you ever get the feeling that your film is indeed making a difference? •

People come up after screenings and say, "Thanks, rve been living with AIDS for six years and stayed away from every AIDS fIlm and yours is the only one that spoke to me about Wouldn't that be. nice. my life." It's those sort of responses that have • That's where films like yours are so vital, been really meaningful and really exciting. If because they educate through entertain- there was one audience we wanted to reach the ment. We come away learning so much most, it was the AIDS community. What's inmore. And I think anybody who would call teresting is that in general, films about AIDS "Zero Patience" tasteless· are, quite frankly, have had a very hard time reaching audiences. wrong. Certainly, there will be people who It's understandable, the audience most directly won't like it-that's the way it is with every involved doesn't want to plop down $7 and art. But I think it's an inspired piece of see their lives reflected. You want to escape from work. Incidentally, why did you choose Sir daily reality, not reemphasize it. Because they've been so characterized by being tearjerkers, Richard Burton as your protagonist? there's a real resistance to AIDS representations. Well, he's a Victorian. And what I wanted the We wanted to let people know this was differijlovie to suggest was that no matter how high- ent. And what could communicate that more tech our science and medicine is, we're still clearly than a musical about AIDS? People . hopelessly stuck in Vi~orian notions of sexu- know it's not gonoa be a melodrama or a factality and of disease in the body. And that's based documentary. It's gonoa be something what's wrapped itself around so much of the new: And hopefully it will shake people out of AIDS crisis and kept us from really making pro- a very limiting set of responses to a crisis. •

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One-In.::I'en presents the Washington Premiere of John Greyson's "Zero Patience," a movie musical that deals with AIDS (see story, page 24). Tbe Adpocate calls it "a daring cinematic ,gem that deserves to go down in gay history. This is the fIlm we've been waiting for!" The New York Times called it "a ribald comedy, a bouncy stylistic hybrid crammed with ideas." And we here at MW just call it "plain old extraordinary." The screening will be held at the Embassy Theatre, on 1927 Florida Ave., at 7 p.m. Tickets are available at OffGear and Lambda Rising and cost $25, with proceeds benefIting' One-In:ren's upcoming fall gay and lesbian fIlm festival, "Reel Affirmations 4" and Brother, Help Thyself, which will distri~ute a portion of the proceeds to AIDS Service Organizations serving the Washington metro area. "Friends for Life," a black tie gala benefItting the Elizabeth Taylor Medical Center is fast approaching, ,so you'll want to put in your rux reservations now: The date is Satur-

day, May 21, at 7 p.m. at the Warner Theatre. WRC's Arch Campbell, the man who has made an artform out of quotable blurbs, 'calls it "The event of the season." The· event is sponsored in part by Liz herself, The White Oak Dance Project, Donna E. Shalala and the Whitman-Walker Clinic. Tickets are $125. For more info, call 202-7780571.

•

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolfl Not Eileen Atkins. The acclaimed actress, a• co-ereator of the immortal British 'T.~ series "Upstairs, Downstairs," portrays the literary great in her . award-winning one-woman show, "A Room of One's Own." The play, at Arena Stage's Kreeger Theatre through June 19, is based on two historic talks given by Woolf at • England's Cambridge University. (Also, watch for Ms. Atkins to turn up on the screen later this summer, l with Jack Nicholson in the potential blockbuster, "Wolf.") Call 202-4883300. "Hot Mikado," director David Bell's

•

1940's swingtime adaptation of the popular Gilben and Sullivan's "Mikado," plays at Ford's Theatre through June 26 and, if ticket sales continue to be brisk, perhaps beyond. The cast includes Lawrence Hamilton, Ross Lehman, and Loretta Devine (who originated the role of Lorrell in the Broadway production of "Dreamgirls"), and Washington's own vocal dynamo, Robin Baxter. With muSical direction by Rob Bowman, sets by Daniel Proett and costumes by Jess Goldstein. Call 202-347-4833.

Gallery founder Charles Lang Freer. Through May 30. Call 202-357-2700. Come show off your fuzzy-wuzzy chests. The Fourth Annual Mr. D.C. Bear and Mr. D.C. Bear Cub Contest will be held at the D.C. Eagle, on Saturday, May 14. Contestants can regiaster until 11 p.m. when the contest begins. Sponsored by the Highwaymen TNT. For more info, call 202-347-6025.

Fasten those skates: D.C. Sports E Scott Black's Towson Dinner continues with weekly rollerskating Theatre presents a NEW musical every Monday; 8 to 10:30 p.m., at production of "The Phantom of the Seabrook Whee1-A-While in Opera,» with libretto by Michael .Lanham, Md. Members: $4 and nonTilford and music and lyrics by Tom members: $5. Call 301-916-6754 Alonso. With Braxton Peters as the for info. Meanwhile, the Gay and Phantom. No word on who's playing Lesbian Skaters and Rollerbladers the chandelier. Through June 19. Call of Baltimore convene every Wed. night at Orchard Skate1and, 7: 30 to 410-321-6595. 10:30 p.m. Admission $5 (does not just in time for spring, a new exhibit include skate rental fee of $1.25). Call 410-825-3013. at the Freer Gallery of Art, at 12th and Independence Ave., "explores the OtJ-t on the TOwn is a weekly~ highly arbitrary listing of events for the D.C'; popular bird and flower genre of Baltimore area. Announcements and traditional Chinese painting." One events to be co'midered for inclusion in highlight is "Herons and Water this section should be mai~d to Ot/.t On Plants," a Ming Dynasty hanging The TOwn) c/o ~ 724 Ninth St.~ N~ Suite 429~ Washington~ D.C. 20001. scroll purchased 100 years ago by •

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Remington's

Trumpets

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Reported by STAN SLUITER

Repon.dby ALAN CHASAN • B'U KEAIIT

I. A GOOD RUN OF BAD LUCK Clint Black 2. IF BUBBA CAN DANCE (I CAN TOO) Shenandoah J. ADDICTED TO A DOLLAR Doug Stone 4. BEFORE YOU KIU US AU Randy Travis 5. YOUR, LOVE AMAZES ME -John Berry 6. LOVEBUG George Strait • 7. ROPE THE MOON john Michael Montgomery~ 8. DONT TAKE THE GIRL '-.:JlJI Tim McGraw 9. WISH I DIDNT KNOW Toby Keith 10. THATAINT NO WAY TO GO •

I. FOREVER AND A DAY arothws In Rhythm 2. WHAT'S UI' OJ Mlko J. REACH judy Cloeela 4. SMEUS UKE TEEN Sl'IlUT AbIgaIl 5. (MEET) THE FUNTSTONES Be· 52's 6. TREE FlIOG Hope 7. BACK. FORTH • AalIyah 8. USTEN TO THE MUSIC Dooble IIrothen 9. AROUND•.• I WEST END GIRLS East 17 10. WHEN I FEU IN LOVE Usa Usa

Brooks & Dunn

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Stagecoach

Blue Penguin

JR's

Reported by KEVIN. BRUCE I. WHAT A CRYING SHAME Mavericks 2. ON THE ROAD Lee Roy Parnell J. DONT TAKE THE GIRL Tim McGrail 4. FOREVER DANCE Alan Taylor 5. WHENEVER YOU COME AROUND Vince Gill 6. nu AU THE LONELY'S GONE Pam Tillis 7. LET THE PICTURE PAINT ITSELF Rodney Cr_ell 8. I CANT STAND TO WATCH MY OLD FLAME BURN Curtis Wright 9. RUHAWAY TRAIN Randy Travis ~ 10. IN BETWEEN DANCES "-.:JlJI Pam Tillis

Reported by IVAN JINKS

Reported by ALBERT LEE

I. I WANT YOU Juliet Roberts 2. I00% PURE LOVE Crystal Waters J. WHISPERING YOU NAME Alison Moyct 4. FOREVER AND A DAY (DMC) Brothers In Rhythm 5. RENAISSANCE M People 6. LOVE & HAPPINESS River Occan with India 7. LIBERATION Pet Shop Boys 8. BUBBLE Fluke 9. GOD SAVE THE QUEER Klatsch 10. SLAVE TO THE RHYTHM '94 Grace Jones

I. WHISPERING YOUR NAME Alison Moyet 2. LOVE • HAPPINESS RIver Ocean with India J. BEAUTIFUL I'EOPLE Barbara Tucker 4. STARS Nerissa 5. AU I DO jane Child 6. DOOP Doop 7. ROCK MY HEART Haddaway 8. GRAVlTAnONALARCH OF 10 Vapourspace 9. LUV4 U Bad Boy Blue

10. DONT LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD Chantay Savage •

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Top 10's prOVides our readers with the latest look at what music is being played at some of • the hottest spots in the area. DJ's must provide their lists to• MW,by Friday, Spin for publication the following Thursday. Please fax, mail or deliver to' MW •. 724 9th St.. N.W Suite 429 Wash.• D.C., 20009 Fax - (202) 347 - 7811

Green Lantern

PTMax

Reported by KOSTASK

Reported by DAVID SORAKA

I. THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD Fire Island 2. FADE TO GREY Datura J. WIN MY LOVE Ce -,ay 4. GROOVE TO ME 0' EFX 5. LOVE AND HAPPINESS (OMC) RIver Ocean 6. IT GOES UKE THIS _Tribe 7. THE RIGNT nME I to I 8. LOVE COME DOWN Allison Umerick 9. lYE GOT THE MUSIC Mount llulhmonl 10. GOD SAVE THE QUEER

I. IF EVER I LOSE MY FAITH Sting 2.I'U WAIT Taylor Dayne J. CHICAGO TRACKW~RK. Vol. II All Cuu , 4. SEARCHIN' eeCe Peniston 5. I WANT TO THANK YOU Robin S 6. STARS Nerissa 7. LOVE COME DOWN Allison Umerick 8. I BELIEVE

Klatsch!

• ••

•

Sounds of Blac.kness

9. OUT OF MY HEAD

Marradonna ~ "'"

10. BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE Barbara Tucker

,'-"'.,.

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lID RID HEAD: 28 yr old WM. 6'.

Maryland/DC Bohimen NO END TO FUN: Block prolessionol mole. 5'11', Jlreol shope. Sooking 0 WM under 45 lor doting ond mud> men. "25761 Do..r UOl.Y PIOl'U NEED LOVI, •TOO: 3~seeks 0 friend and 0

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168. red hair and striking blue 0)'eS. Seeking 0 g.ry. 18-32,01 any <000. I om a top and I om woifing lor >""" coli. "26127 lID UKI MY COFFlE: 24 yr old loll ond srnoolf, g.ry seeks 0 bIk mole. 2<t 35. "26131

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Seeking a g.ry who likes fun as much os I do. B1k pr8/erred. CoIl me at home. "24397

lID HEY, LUI: B1k mole. dilClllOl ond mosc. 29" woisl-'<s 25-35. PIoo... be 0111 odi... "23689

lID DO AS I SAY: SSM. 220, handsome. 6'3". Seeking fern g.rys lor service. loman aggressive!p. "24529

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charge aossdres.... or lV. "25309

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outdoan ond seeking a g.ry. 18-30. WM. swimmer's builcl. PIoose I...... r"'" head on stroighl. "26466

lID GOOD FIND: GWM businosslhome owner seolu a serious, sincere guy. Into axnping. 6shing and tho beaches. Race is open. I om

in shope and -'< c:ornponionship and possibly

lID IlIADY fOR THE FIRST: 29 yr old 81curious WM is cIeon ClIl

mOl e.

and seeking 0 g.ry 30 or younger lor 6", fime

"24856

lID JUST WONDERING: 45 old Bi-<:Urious g.ry intelligent g.rys lor

uperience_ "26577

goad fimes. I om 0

Washington TOOl. lOX: G8M, 5'10".

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clem top. 25-40. "26316

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lID SEEKING lLACK

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lID YOU CALL THE SHOTS: Mosc bot sdlmissive 38 yr old seolu 0 ....... 10m g.ry to toI<o d.orgo. "25309

SprW9IoId IIOII"G POINl': GWM, 24, soob ~ men '" fI & lender limos. "24491 Woshington WASHINGTON MONUMENT·TOO SMALL: GWM, loR and slim g.ry seeks u blk top "itn 0 big challenge. _ _ _ _"2A687 _ _ _ _ _-'1 Washington TINDER TOPS: 23 yr old professional GWM, groat legs and a fight body. Inlo sports and tho ouldoars. Seeking a sensitive top mono "25151

8aIIimoro FOOTIALl PlAnr5 IIUID: 28 yr old, 5' 10". 190. 8lad<, bi'PI.1aw-1Lodont soob prd.• inIolgont 253S yr aid. Sooking 0 'PI who IooIS lriquo. is no at. JoIc rrusic, sports. "23232

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MO FIRE PELT: Rod headed pre-op babe, seeking a real mono ..21517 MO RID GOAliE: 29yroldwilito malo, red hair, gooIoo. SeeIcing a blk 'PI inlo the outdoors and the 9>'"'. 1r21614 MO PERfICT DATE: 22 yr old, 57", 155, seeking guys 18-25. 1.0(. go bowling or got a nice quiet <Ii....... 1"""" mod in_ and hope)'CU do,loo. ..21662 MO GllOUNIlID?: 36 yr old proIessionol. Cloon shoo""'" 5'11', 187. Seelcing down 10 earth f!JYS. "22183 MO PARTY AU THE TlMI: 24 year old blk mole, 5'10', 170 seeks oIhor blk or PR for friend. and more. InJo poJ1ying and outdoor odivities. "22194 MO 'BURlS: 33 yr old l1oIion, doon cut and well buih. Down 10 eorih 'PI seeks ~milor ... 22599 MO MlDmRRANEAN: 20 yr old good looking guy seeks weI1-»-l Ips. Greeklltolion A+...22644 MO OH, BROTHER: 32 yr old blk mole, 5'10', 185. Very muse-. brother i. hoping for a Ip...22724

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MO SOmR SIDE: 42 yr old SSM seeks lV. TS. or !em guys who are srnooIh,"22726 i/O ClAIM YOUR REWARD: Fit 38 yr

old Bi·WM seeks blk or wIUte guys who r-J dilcipline. Very """ and ""....".d;ng. 1r22780

doncing. AI cds opprecioIod. "23132

Balfimore I TAKE MINI BLACK: 19 yr old college .tudent seeks 21·26 yr old blk mole who i. loll and mose. Iam a sub btm seeking my 6", ~ohip. Coli me at home. .. 19609

i/O ITSY BITSY: 28 yr old Hispanic,

5'6', 155. Inlo bikini. and jock .lraps. ..23149 MO REDHEAD'S LUCK: 21)"'Or old Adoni. wia da anything for redhead•. "23191

Baltimore UG MEN: 5'9', 155, dean· ~. I"""" nice legs and om a passive bini. Stocky Ips ore weIoome... 19932

MO MKHANIC: 6'3', SSM, 210,1 om very dam and r-J lelVice. ..23234

6'3', 210, 33. Inlo dining in or out. Hoping for on lTR...23472

'd)LI{ IIU I

Balfimore FROM OPERA TO CWB: 23 yr old GaM inloquietevening. and the opera. 0ccXJ•. cIubber seek. a guy Io.hare good fimes with... 19939

MO LlVEL HEAD?: Seeking a ~0C1rr8 and .toble man <Mt: 23. Lofino A+. Coli me at home. "19628 MO UKI MY COFFEE: I om seeking mon 30-45. I om 32, 5'11', 180 and in_led in blk moles only. Must be down 10 earth and relofionohip orienled. .. 19650 MO ARMY COUPU: Seeking a third. Coli u. at home... 19754 MO YOU AND THI TWO OF US: 33,40 Ip and btm seeks a good fime with another... 19762

MO SMOOTH IE: 35 yr old, 5'9' and """"th seeking a mosc Ip... 19805 MO FRlINDLY FIRE: WM, 27, Ilike going out, meefing people. I am down 10 earth and hoping 10 hear from )'CU. ..19844

Balfimore ATHLITE: 5'11',175, mosc athletic ~Io ocfion 5porfs. Seeking a , loll guy for a really gOod fime... 19971

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BoIfimore HEY MEN: Bm/blu, clean 10m inlo guilor, cooking and am seeking blk or while guys 20-45. HeoYy set i. A+. 275 and up. "20526

MO NETWORKING: 27 yr old, 5'8", dark hair/eyes. 10m a professional inlo the beach, movie. and meefing __ people... 13374

.na...n.

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Baltimore LIT IT GROW: 30 yeor old. Intense, romonfic, nurturing and wpporti"". Inlo sports and the groat outdoors. Seeking a WM 10 .hare life'. e>periences. "20543

Baltimore WILD PLANET: 21 yr old, bmlhzl, 5'9', GWM. Seeking a WM inlo roving the B· 52\ beach and roIletcoo.len... 19588

i/O VERY APPllICIA11Vl: 0JIa GeM, 5'S', seeks a 'PI 18-40. Into lenni. and

i/O nRED OF THE lARS? 10m.

BoIIimore Cl0SE-TAPERID HAlt Sexy 25 YO bkxl< ode seeks on honest, dilCTOl!!, &iendshipmindod . 8Iod<, Balfimore SaM: Seeking a mon 01 any rote/age in_led in a monogomou. ~ohip. I like good oompony and quiet fimes at home... 13492

MO PRESSURE DROP: 6'2', inlo reading, cooking and the outdoors. Seeking men 23·30. Please be moture and we <Xln .Iort oxpIoring...22942

MO LOADS AND LOADS: 29 yr old i. into wrestling and seek. someone inlo load. oIlvn...23443

Baltimore TAU BLACK MIN: 23 yeor old i. seeking )'CU and woifing for a <XlII at home. 5'9' with a football build. Inlo the clubs and portying. ..17310

fisponic, <>..Ie, Iklb ~...18929

MO TRAPPED IN THE 'BURlS: GWM, 41 seek. dark haired men for great encounlen...22929

MO BIGGER IS BETTER: 81k mole, -., 5'8', 150 seek. blk mose guys <Mt: 2301. Any age i. OK. "23099

MO /'U DRM: 5'10', beefy, muse WM. Gm eye. and very ottrocti"". Inlo sports and quiet fimes. Seeking a WM, 5'8' or shorter. Please be submissive. No smoke/drug.... 23489

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JR's- 1519 17th Street, N.W 202-328-0090 Video Bar/Restaurant, mostly men

EI Faro - 2411 18th Street, N.W 202-387-6554 - Latino Dance Bar/Restaurant for men and women. Open 7 days - lunch & dinner.

Mr. p's - 2147 P Street, N.W 202-293-1064 - Video Bar, mostly men

Paramount Steak House (Annie's) 1609 '7th St., NoW - 202-232-0395 Restaurant, men and women

Jolt 'n Bolt - 1918 18th Street, N.W, #4 202-232-0077 Coffee & Tea House

NOR

THE:

Pop Stop- 1513 17th Street, N.W, 202-328-0880. Coffee House.

Delta Elite - 3734 10th Stret:t, N.E. 202-529-0626 - Dance Bar, mostly men weekends only. CAPlrUL

Trumpets- 17th and Q Street, N.W 202-232-4'41- Restaurant/Video bar, men and women

HILL

Bachelor's Mill - 1104 8th Street, S.E. 202-544-193 I - Dance Bar, mostly men, upstairs

Brass RaIl - 476 K Street, N.W 202-371-6983 - Dance Bar/Restaurant, mostly men

Back Door Pub - 202-546-5979 (top floor of Bachelor's MilQ

DC Eap - 639 NewYork Ave, N.W 202-347-6025, Leather/Levi Bar Country-Western, mostly men

Mr. Henry's - 601 Pennsylvania Avenue, S.E. 202-546-8412 - Victorian Pub and Restaurant

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Green Lantern - 13 13 L Street, NW (rear) •

202-638-5133, Video Cruise Bar, mostly men

Blue Pen,uln 801 Pennsylvania Ave, S.E. (202)547-4568

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R.mil1JtOn·... 639' Pennsylvania Ave, S.E. 202-543-3113 - CountrY-Western Dance Bar; serves food, mostly men

Club 55 - 55 K St., S.E. - Drag Bar (Sundays Only). •

La Cap Aux Follies - 180 St , S.E.

202-554-3615 -

Phase One - 525 8th Street, S.E. 202-5....-6831 Dance Bar; mostly women U

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Lost Ir Found- 56 L Street, S.E. 202-488-1200 Dance Club, mostly men, open after hours

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Tracks- 1111 First Street, S.E. 202-488-3320Super Disco Club and Video Bar, serves food men and women, open after hours

Annex - 1413 22nd Street, N.W (above Badlands) 202-293-0064 - Video Bar, mostly men

Badlands- 1415 22nd Street, N.W 202-296-0505 - Dance/Video bar, mostly men

Ziegfelds - 1345 Half Street, S.E. 202-554-5141 - Dance Bar, drag shows, male go-go dancers, men and women

The Ci~1e Bar j 1629 Connecticut Ave., N.W (202)462\s57Y

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Fraternity House - 2122 P Street, N.W (rear) 202-223-4917 Dance/Video Bar, after-hours, mostly men

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The Zone- 52 L Street, S.E. 202-488-1200 Male go-go dancers, Video Bar, mostly men •

Escandalo - 2122 P Street, N.W- (202)822-8909

The Fireplace - 22nd & P Street, N.W 202-293-1293 - Video Bar, mostly men

Male go-go dancers

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French Quarter Caf. - 808 King StJeet Alexandria, VA - 703-683-2803 Restaurant/Video Bar, men and women

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bySeanBugg

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the morning. around four a.m., there's always a crowd that Also essential-is some form of electronic enrefuses to give up the ghost and go to bed. In- rertainment,prerernbo/audioorvideo(lea~ stead, with the desire to continue the stimulat- the vibrntor under the bathroom sink where it • ing conversation (and have that one last chance belongs). Music provides the best background at getting lucky), they decide to check out an for re-hashing the entire evening. If the televiafter hours party. sion must be on, mute the volume. A strungAs with most other forms of social interac- out group of queens trnnsfIxed at fIve in the tion, some rules need to be set to ensure that a morning by a Thighmaster infomercial is a terhost will risk having another one next week. rifying sight. Invitations. Custom dictates that an invita- Porno movies tion cannot be given until after two o'clock. All make an excellent invitations must be verbal. Pre-printed invita- backdrop for after tions kill the spontaneity associated with these hours, especially A s t run g - 0 u t events. Besides, half the fun of an after hours when the converparty is trying to remember where it is (and sation has become . then trying to prove you were actUally invited). particularly in- g roup of queens The bane of the after hours existence is the sipid and you ·uninvited guest, which usually comes in a pack want to break t ran s fix e d of ten. Handle these creatures preemptively at everyone's con• the club by giving them invitationS to someone cenrrnuon. at five in the else's apartment on the other side of town (for This is what . example, your ex-boyfriend's). • they mean by morning by What do you do when a friend decides to open house. host yet another after hours party when the last Check your beqthree have been disasters? Send him home to room, batl¥'oom a Thighmas.ter get the place ready. When he's gone, change and closets peri• the location. . odically for those infomercial is a Essentials to have on hand. Planning for unexpected • the party goes against the letter and spirit of couplings and. terrifyi ng sight after hours law. Guests should feel as if they are triplirtgs that can making a party out ofwhatever and whoever is occur. If yo~'re . available. The only additions they need are what not careful they they have left from the bar and what they can may use your , pick up at the 7-11. lube, leaving you high and dry for your own Still, there are basic essentials that all Party private sunrise service with some guy whose Queers should have on hand: an ice maker, Diet name yo,:! can't quite remember, but he sure is Coke, tonic, a large bottle ofcheap vodka (hide cute. , . the Stoll), and a collection of McDonald's JuYou may want to take the precaution oflockrassic Park glasses. The importance of having ing the bedroom doo~. Some guests make think plastic glasses cannot be underestimated oth- you're rude, but screw 'em, it's your house. Plus erwise, all your good crystal will be smashed by there's nothing worse than rolling over onto a some twisted queen who's moving to Miami in wet spot you had nothing to do with.

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'VE NOTICED ,mAT when a club begins to clear

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Click your heels and come on in. Nightly specials!

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1519 17th Street NW Washington DC 20036 202-328-0090 Play Safe Party Smart