October 2021
When Red Flags Look Green — Ariana González, Assistant Editor-in-Chief Sexual abuse is not uncommon. According to www.rainn.org, others,’” the anonymous student said. every 9 minutes, child protective services finds evidence for a Another anonymous student who was also groomed online child sexual abuse claim. mentioned that they were asked to perform sexual favors. 93% of perpetrators are known to the victims. A common “They would say they would want me to do sexual things tool used by the perpetrators is grooming; a manipulation tactic with them, but then say I could not because I was too young,” abusers use to get close to their victims so they can manipulate the anonymous student said. and/or exploit them. Grooming does not always happen online. It can also be done Generally speaking, most people have gotten the internet by people who are close to the victim’s family, or they could safety talk; be careful when talking to strangers, do not share even be a family member, like in this anonymous student’s personal information, etc. While there are a lot of interesting experience. and fun strangers you can get to know on the internet, that does “When I was 7-8 years old, they would have me lay down not take away the large amounts of creeps and bad people that on either my stomach or back and touch me in places I did not also have access to the internet. know were exactly wrong at the time,” the anonymous student Knowing the warning signs of grooming can keep you from said “I knew they were ‘private parts,’ but we were family and falling victim to someone who is perpetrator of grooming. I thought I could trust them.” These students are sharing their experiences and perspectives Often, victims struggle with coming forth with their stories dealing with the topic of grooming. due to guilt, shame or the fact that they still care about their Whether it is online or in person, anyone can be groomed. abusers. This anonymous student’s experience was online. “While you should tell someone, do not feel guilty if you “I met them in a groupchat with 3 other people on Instagram,” do not. The first time I told an adult was very recently,” the the student said. “I was 14 and they were 17, about to turn 18. anonymous student said. “I do not want to tell my parents We were online friends.” because they are genuinely a better person now, but that does Like in most grooming situations, the conversations between not mean I will just forget what happened.” the abuser and anonymous student were generally innocent, Being a victim of grooming or sexual abuse will never be your while the groomer gained the anonymous student’s trust. They fault. In a situation like that, you were being taken advantage made them feel like they could come to them for anything. of, and you should not blame yourself. A lot of the time people “It was pretty harmless at first,” the anonymous student said. are blinded by their trust for the other person, or how much they “They took a particular liking to me and we were really close. may care for them. They trusted me with a lot of their issues, like their personal The first step to healing is beginning to accept that. If you or and family life, and I trusted them and asked them for advice anyone you know is going through a similar situation, you can about things.” tell a trusted adult and/or contact the National Sexual Assault Soon after gaining their trust, the groomer begins to sexualize Hotline at 800.656.HOPE. their relationship with their victim. “It was not until 3 or 4 months into our friendship According to www.victimsofcrime.org, 28% of U.S youth that things started to get uncomfortable. They started telling me things about their sex life, even going between the ages of 14 to 17 have been sexually victimized. as far as sending explicit pictures and videos,” the anonymous student said. The groomer would also make strange comments about moving a step further in their relationship if the annonymous student was older. “They would always say that if I was their age, they would ask me out,” the annonymous student said. “They also asked me to send explicit pictures and videos to them a couple times.” A lot of the time, the groomer will make their victim feel as their maturity is very high for their age, in an attempt to excuse their actions. “They would always mask their intentions by telling me I was ‘mature for my age’ and I was ‘not like the
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