THROWBACK THURSDAY: A TRIBUTE TO THE 1983 CHAMPIONS
PAGE 13
Vol. 92, Issue 2 | Aug. 29 - Sept. 4, 2013
STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI IN CORAL GABLES, FLA., SINCE 1929
CAMPUS LIFE
Chartwells, Unicco negotiate for higher wages Organizations on the verge of strike BY ALEXANDER GONZALEZ NEWS EDITOR
On Wednesday, at the entrance of Stanford Drive, about 50 Chartwells and Unicco employees could be heard shouting “justice.” The full slogan: “What do we want? Justice! When do we want it? Now!” They were holding signs that stated “We Are Worth More” with a backdrop of orange and green. Employees gathered with Eric Brakken, director of 32BJ SEIU, the local chapter of the Service Employees International Union, to review the recent negotiations with Chartwells’ parent company Compass Inc. and DTZ, previously Unicco, the company that employs UM’s custodians and landscapers. The union and Chartwells employees met yesterday morning at the BankUnited Center for a final bargaining meeting. Compass did not budge and are staying with a wage increase of only 20 cents and the same health insurance plan with a $250 deductible and a 30 percent copayment. SEIU’s current offer was a 65-cent wage increase for the first year, a 50-cent for the second year with a modified health insurance plan and the third year follows with a 60-cent wage increase. The union’s proposed health insurance plan involves a $0 deductible and a $0 to $20 copayment that would go into effect in 2015. The current plan is proposed for 2016. Brakken claimed that Chartwells and
Unicco employees make less than the average standard living wage of $12 per hour for Miami-Dade County. Minimum wages for the employees were not specified, but most earn less than $10,000 a year. The federal minimum wage is $7.25 an hour. Linda Bellinger, a Chartwells employee who works at Hecht and Stanford Dining Hall, feels that if wages do not continue to increase, then employees should be committed to going on strike. “We need to stick together,” she said at the Stanford Drive gathering. Chartwells will not have a similar meeting until Sept. 17. Florida Senator Dwight Bullard made an appearance and called on the university to take action. He inspired the employees to shout, “Step it up loud enough for Shalala to hear.” University custodial workers also stood with Chartwells employees. They gathered last Saturday at St. Bede Episcopal Chapel to demand better wages as well. Janitors are being offered a 10-cent increase. DTZ and formerly called` Unicco is a private company hired by UM, which is not involved in the contract dispute between Unicco and its employees, according to a prepared statement from the university. Business will continue as usual “under any scenarios related to these negotiations, and as needed if negotiations are not concluded in a timely manner,” according to the statement. Unicco’s contract with its unionized workers expires on Saturday. If the union’s demands are not met, then they will also go on strike. A specific day for the beginning of
NICK GANGEMI // ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR A WORKER’S WORTH: Chartwells and Unicco employees held a rally Wednesday at Stanford Drive to express their displeasure with current employment compensation.
the strike has not been decided. Like Chartwells employees, Unicco workers feel that their current wages do not allow them to live properly in Miami. “The cost of living is high and our salaries are not being increased,” said Marlene Trejos, a custodial worker. “There will not be cleanliness then.” Unicco’s final bargaining meeting will
happen tomorrow morning at SEIU’s downtown office before a potential strike this weekend. “We are not hopeful with these wage increases on the table,” Brakken said. “If they don’t get the message, then the university will experience what it means not to get fed, not to get cleaned and not to look beautiful.”
PROFILE
Former SG president sees SAC through to opening Gross becomes assistant director BY JESS SWANSON STAFF WRITER
Eight years ago, Brandon Gross wore an orange ‘Vote Yes’ T-shirt to show support for a pricey proposal to centralize student activities. Now, he is assistant director of that actualized proposal, the newly constructed 119,368-square-foot Student Activity Center (SAC). “I’ve been a part of this from the beginning,” Gross said. “From the vote to now, it’s 2
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amazing to see it come to fruition. I know the times change, and the students’ needs as well, but open conversation [with current students] make this center theirs.” During his time at UM, Gross campaigned to improve campus life for students and was electGROSS ed Student G o ve r n m e n t (SG) president his senior year. He graduated in 2009 with a double degree in public rela-
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tions and sports management. Originally from New York, Gross accepted a job after graduating with media relations for the New York Jets. However, he returned to UM the following year to receive his master’s degree in higher education. Afterwards, in 2010, Gross worked at the Office of Admission and led the esteemed P100s for three years. He became Assistant Director of the SAC on July 15. As an alumnus with a background in SG, Gross knows how important it is for administrators to work closely with students. SG President Bhumi Patel has worked closely with
Aug. 29 - Sept. 4 , 2013
Gross since her freshman year when he worked in the Office of Admissions, and most recently while designing the student organization suite. “His background as a previous student body president has absolutely been beneficial to us because he can truly relate to the views and needs of students,” Patel said. “It’s been great having him over in the SAC.” Zipcars, extended dining hall hours and the UBike program are all initiatives Gross worked on when he was student president. Now as assistant director, he still works closely with students to improve cam-
pus by running the SAC’s events, marketing and information desk services. “After planning space allocation, and policies, it was incredible to see the freshmen pushing the doors open behind Shalala when it opened,” Gross said. “Some of these were my own plans.” Gross also advises the Sigma Chi fraternity and reports the statistics for athletic events with UM football, baseball, volleyball and basketball, as well as the Miami Heat and the Miami Dolphins.
HOUSING AND RESIDENTIAL LIFE
Mahoney-Pearson Dining Hall revamp receives mixed reviews Food options raise concerns
“I’m a freshman, so I don’t really know how it worked before, but I did expect that I could go to any station,” she said. “Now that I have less options, and the price is still the same, it’s a little frustrating.” Many vegetarian or vegan students, like sophomore Poonam Patel, are frustrated with the even more limited options they have for both eat-in and take-out dining. Patel in particular would like to see the reinstatement of Tera Vie, the vegetarian specific station that has not been available since the dining hall’s opening. “Whenever they’re making something with meat, they should make it without meat too,” she said, specifically citing a pasta dish with ham mixed in served on Tuesday. Student Government (SG) Press Secretary Adam Orshan said they are aware of some concerns with the new dining hall as students have written on their Facebook and their online suggestion box. “Everybody loves how it looks, and the visual appeal has been overwhelmingly positive,” he said. “The only real complaints I’ve heard are about the vegetarian and vegan options in the take-out option.” Orshan encourages students with comments to contact their respective senators, so SG can then in turn effectively communicate with Dining Services. “We always want to communicate with students as many ways as we can,” he said.
BY JORDAN COYNE COPY CHIEF
This summer, the MahoneyPearson Dining Hall received a major facelift including a complete remodel of the interior design. The revamped dining hall offers students a more diverse seating arrangement, including an outdoor seating patio, along with food prepared in front of students. “I think it looks really nice, and I like how it has a lot of open space,” sophomore Eric-Dillan Smith said. However, Smith also mentioned that he wished there was more designated room for lines. Mahoney-Pearson now accommodates those opting to use the to-go option in a separate area. In a corner when students first enter, they are able to select an entree, a side, a dessert and a beverage, which significantly shortens their visit. “It actually saved me today because I was late for class, and I came in here hoping the lines weren’t ridiculous,” Smith said. “But they were like no you have to get take-out here, here’s five things, and then I got my food and made it to class.” Although the new divided system is more time-efficient, some students, like freshman Catalina Perez, feel that it is not an adequate meal.
NICK GANGEMI // ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR FOOD GETS A FACELIFT: Sophomore Sam Walsh grabs lunch from one of the seven revamped dining stations in the newly renovated Mahoney-Pearson Dining Hall. The official opening will take place on Friday at noon.
Eating at the UM dining halls The Mahoney-Pearson renovation offers students many options.
TAKE-OUT Students may select a total of four items from different categories. The first three categories are defined by each item's sticker color. This includes:
EAT-IN Inside the dining hall, students may choose food from:
One entree (orange) One side (green) One dessert (yellow) One drink (soda, coffee, tea, water)
Eat.Live.Learn
Fresh Market
myPantry
the Kitchen
Baker's Crust
Hearthstones Oven
The stations specialize in different cuisines to give the dining hall an overall at-home atmosphere.
GRAPHIC BY AMILYNN SOTO
NICK GANGEMI // ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR SAVE ROOM FOR DESSERT: Students can now enjoy the improved, diverse seating arrangement in the dining hall. President Donna E. Shalala will host a ribbon-cutting ceremony at noon on Friday outside the dining hall.
Aug. 29 - Sept. 4 , 2013
T HE MIAMI HURRICANE
NEWS
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PHOTO BRIEF
Campus’ crowned jewel OPEN SESAME: Sebastian the Ibis welcomes students and guests to the new Student Activities Center (SAC) at the official opening ceremony on Monday. President Donna E. Shalala welcomed students, staff and alumni and encouraged them to take a look inside. The SAC features a revamped Rathskeller, Starbucks and Made2-Order (M2O). The building also houses several student organizations like Student Government, the Butler Center for Leadership and Outreach and a Student Media Suite. A 24-hour study space is scheduled to open later in the semester.
MONICA HERNDON // PHOTO EDITOR
CAMPUS LIFE
Administrative offices trade places around campus Writing Center is first to move
said.
BY ALEXANDER GONZALEZ NEWS EDITOR
The new Student Activities Center (SAC) that opened Monday is not the only change that students will encounter this semester. Several offices and services are moving to new locations throughout the University. The Parking and Transportation office moved to the McKnight Building Suite 100 on Ponce de Leon Boulevard. All parking-related services and Cane Cards will be issued at this location. “The move is part of an overall University push toward consolidated services,” said Richard Sobaram, director of Parking and Transportation. One of these consolidated services is the department’s role in issuing Cane Cards that were once given at Allen Hall. Parking assumed the responsibility last spring and has since helped new students, faculty and staff get their required items in one place. “Vendors, students and staff all need parking and ID cards,” Sobaram 4
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Sobaram does not know the fate of the former parking office at the Flipse Building. Next door, however, UMPD and emergency services will work together as an emergency management department. Emergency services is responsible for alerting students about severe weather and oncampus crimes. The new parking office can be reached using the fountain shuttle route and stopping at the shuttle stop on Brescia street near the University Village and baseball field. Limited short-term parking is also available in a lot behind the McKnight Building. The Toppel Career Center is also planning a move scheduled some time this fall, said Christian Garcia, executive director for Toppel. It will take the place of the former Writing Center that was located near Pavia Garage. The Writing Center moved last spring to the La Gorce House near the Hecht and Stanford residential colleges. Toppel began renovating the building last December. The construction will make Toppel’s new location twice the size of its original space and equipped with the latest technology
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such as video conferencing and lecture capture that will allow students to view company information sessions online if they were not able to attend. “With these two types of technologies, the goal is to continue to provide our services without allowing geography to be a roadblock,” Garcia said. Though Toppel is moving to a slightly farther location from the student center area that includes the SAC and University Center (UC), students do not seem to mind the move. “The distance is not really an issue,” senior Jordan Schuman said. “Toppel has a good online presence, so I have never really had to go in person.” Schuman emailed her resume to Toppel and was given feedback completely online. Another added feature will be interview labs that will record students in mock interviews. Toppel advisers will then give immediate feedback on students’ performance and send them a personalized link of the video for further practice. Toppel’s current location will soon house the Office of Admissions that is currently in the Ashe Building.
The Study Abroad office, along with International Student and Scholars Services (ISSS), moved from its previous space at Allen Hall to Student Services near the financial aid office. Study Abroad will remain there temporarily with the goal of moving to a different space, said Judith Pen-
nywell, assistant provost for international affairs. “I am pleased to have both units under the same roof physically, and as we work together to off international, cross-cultural and educational experiences for all UM students,” she said.
Mapping the moves and changes Don’t get lost this year trying to navigate campus. Here is a guide to all of the recent office changes. The Study Abroad office and the International Student and Scholars Services moved from its previous space at Allen Hall to Student Services near the financial aid office. They will remain there temporarily with the goal of moving to a different space. The Parking and Transportation office moved to the McKnight Building Suite 100 on Ponce de Leon Boulevard from its previous location in Flipse. All parking-related services and Cane Cards will be issued at this location. The Toppel Career Center is scheduled to move from its location on Stanford Circle to the location of the former Writing Center near the Pavia Garage.
The Writing Center moved last spring to the La Gorce House near the Hecht and Stanford residential colleges. GRAPHIC BY AMILYNN SOTO
Aug. 29 - Sept. 4 , 2013
GREEK LIFE
OBITUARY
Greek campus presence grows Visionary passes
Chi O, Kappa Sig colonize chapters BY ERIKA GLASS MULTIMEDIA EDITOR
This fall, UM’s Greek life is expanding as two new organizations take shape. Chi Omega and Kappa Sigma are joining the University’s Panhellenic and Interfraternity councils, respectively. The Interfraternity Council (IFC) is the umbrella organization for the 14 fraternities at UM. Likewise, the Panhellenic Council is the governing body of the eight sororities on campus. Their main purpose is to strengthen relationships between chapters and keep open communication between the administration and Greek organizations. The Kappa Sigma brothers have been working with their founding class since last spring
and will advance to the rush process in both the fall and spring semesters of this school year. The founding class was initiated Saturday night in the Newman Alumni Center. There were more than 200 guests in attendance including brothers from chapters from universities around Florida. “Everyone was very excited to become brothers and meet all the brothers from various other chapters that came to visit us,” Kappa Sigma President Brandon Rosenberg said. The Chi Omega hopefuls will go through a similar process starting in September, when representatives from the national Chi Omega offices select a founding class of sisters to participate in a formal rush for the upcoming spring semester. “Going through standard recruitment and starting an organization are very different. Regular recruitment … is a fairly struc-
tured and scheduled process,” said Steve Priepke, assistant dean of students and director of Greek life. “When you are starting an organization, you are seeking out a very specific type of person … one who is truly looking to start something from the ground up,” he added. The recruitment process for the new organizations will differ slightly from the traditional deferred recruitment process for existing fraternities and sororities. The deferred recruitment process means that freshmen are not allowed to rush until their second semester at the university. However, unlike sororities, fraternities participate in fall rush for upperclassmen. The addition of these new organizations indicates the growing Greek culture at the university. Last spring, 497 women registered for rush.
Dean remembered for kind heart, generosity BY ASHLEY MARTINEZ ASSISTANT EDITOR
Jim Bauer, who worked as the senior associate dean of enrollment management and the executive director of the Office of Financial Assistance Services for 13 years, passed away Monday. Bauer fought a long and valiant battle with cancer and passed away while in hospice care at the University of Miami Hospital. As the longtime head of financial aid, he was known to always put students first, and his caring and sense of fairness benefitted thousands of UM students. He was nationally recognized as a visionary in the field of financial assistance and enrollment management after a long, distinguished career. “He was a true professional, a key player and leader in the ambitious climb in rankings of the University,” President Donna E. Shalala said in a statement. “More than anything else, he had a soft heart in a tough job.” He is survived by his wife Lois, a member of the registrar’s office, and three daughters. BAUER
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T HE MIAMI HURRICANE
NEWS
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THE MIAMI HURRICANE
Aug. 29 - Sept. 4 , 2013
OPINION tweet UP WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CHANGE ON CAMPUS?
Path connecting Hecht Athletic Center & the Wellness Center #TMHtweetup #muchneeded
@PeteyDamann
Not just the Student Activity Center itself, but seeing it light up the campus at night! #TMHtweetup
@HeatherZWeather
#TMHtweetup Schwartz Center, Schwartz Center, Schwartz Center
@CaneInsider
@MrsARodriguez
Follow us on Twitter at @MiamiHurricane and look for our #TMHtweetup question with answers featured in print every Thursday. Compiled by Amilynn Soto
Raymond La, Staff columnist
something to be expected considering the size of the building. We’ve been given the opportunity to work and study – and technically live, once the 24-hour lounge opens – in a top-notch facility that’s both visually stunning and equipped with modern resources. And the administration didn’t want to put that off any longer. Brandon Gross, assistant director of the Student Center Complex, said the administration planned on opening the center as long as major progress had been made. Rightfully so. Considering there are no safety hazards, it makes sense for the administration to have officially opened the SAC at the start of the academic year. It would be inconvenient to make the move during winter break, for example. In addition to the 24-hour lounge, which is expected to be
finalized early this semester, the Senate room is the only other incomplete area of the building. Meanwhile, students shouldn’t worry about safety, as administration would not have opened the building without full approval from the city of Coral Gables, which issued the SAC’s certificate of occupancy. However, if students have any issues with the building, they can go to the information desk and report the pressing problem. The SAC is the new heart of campus. And its blood will be fully pumping by the time of the building’s dedication during Homecoming Weekend with the official naming on Nov. 7. We can only hope it’s named after President Shalala, the heart of our university.
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An Associated Collegiate Press Hall of Fame Newspaper
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stephanie Parra MANAGING EDITOR Nicky Diaz ART DIRECTOR Carlos Mella
Johnson, who has added weight -- and hence power -- to his frame in the offseason. Meanwhile, on the sidelines, head coach Al Golden gives reason for hope. With his passion for the game, he is surely as ready as the fans are to bring about success for the football program. I mentioned earlier that fans have a reason to be excited. Better yet, fans are the reason to be excited. The fans are what drive the game. UM students and Canes fans in the community show their passion during the good – through supportive cheers for their home team – and the bad – expect raucous jeers toward the visiting team. The die-hard fans are constantly watching ESPN and eagerly await those Saturday games during the fall season. They arrive hours before kickoff time and tailgate outside of the stadium with their vehicles covered in Canes decor. And it all comes to fruition this Friday against FAU. I’m no clairvoyant, but I feel the Hurricanes have something special awaiting them this year. The passion of the players, coaches and, just as crucially, the fans yield a worthwhile season. So buckle up and cheer on. Raymond La is a junior majoring in microbiology. Aug. 29 - Sept. 4 , 2013
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ADVERTISING EDITOR Amilynn Soto
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MULTIMEDIA EDITOR Erika Glass
ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR Nick Gangemi
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NEWS EDITOR Alexander Gonzalez
DESIGNERS Sarbani Ghosh Amilynn Soto
OPINION EDITOR Lyssa Goldberg EDGE EDITOR Margaux Herrera SPORTS EDITOR Spencer Dandes ASSISTANT EDITOR Ashley Martinez
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Editorials represent the majority view of The Miami Hurricane editorial board.
Canes fans determine team’s success ecibels from the roar of the crowd multiply as smoke rises from the tunnel. Sebastian storms out with raised arms and fingers pointing up toward the heavens, and the players and coaching staff follow, emerging from the smoke. This, along with the cheerleaders, marching band and Jumbotron, can RAYMOND LA STAFF mean only one thing. College footCOLUMNIST ball season is here. Our Hurricanes are opening the season Friday night at home against Florida Atlantic University. Coming off a 7-5 season, the team had an opportunity to play in the ACC championship, until a self-imposed bowl ban changed the postseason outlook for the football team. But fans have a reason to be excited this year, as the Hurricanes are destined for an exceptional season. This begins with the players. At the helm is senior quarterback Stephen Morris. Some analysts are praising his football talent and deeming him a refined NFL quarterback in the making. In the backfield is game-changer Duke
HURRICANE
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Patience pays with SAC construction President Donna E. Shalala and Sebastian the Ibis stood under balloon arches by Lake Osceola on Monday for the grand opening of the Student Activities Center (SAC). Students entered the building that afternoon, and the activities began – some hanging out at the new Rathskeller, and others working in new organization offices. Although Monday’s fanfare has come and gone, some hard hats remain. The central stairwell was closed Wednesday, and construction workers stood in the lobby. The 24-hour Kornspan Study Lounge has yet to open its doors – a peek through small glass windows shows that construction has not started. These little things aside, the amount of progress that was made in just two years is impressive. For the most part, only minor details remain, which is
The Miami
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STAFF EDITORIAL
D
I just saw photos of the new UC ... Amazing! Campus has changed so much since I graduated in ‘08. #TMHtweetup
The passion of the players, coaches and, just as crucially, the fans yield a worthwhile season. So buckle up and cheer on.
©2013 University of Miami
The Miami Hurricane is published semi-weekly during the regular academic year and is edited and produced by undergraduate students at the University of Miami. The publication does not necessarily represent the views and opinions of advertisers or the university’s trustees, faculty or administration. Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of The Hurricane’s Editorial Board. Commentaries, letters and cartoons represent only the views of their respective authors. The newsroom and business office of The Hurricane are located in the Norman A. Whitten University Center, Room 221. LETTER POLICY The Miami Hurricane encourages all readers to voice their opinions on issues related to the university or in response to any report published in The Hurricane. Letters to the editor may be submitted typed or handwritten (please make your handwriting legible) to the Whitten University Center, Room 221, or mailed to P.O. Box 248132, Coral Gables, FL, 33124-6922. Letters, with a suggested length of 300 words, must be signed and include a copy of your student ID card, phone number and year in school. ADVERTISING POLICY The Miami Hurricane’s business office is located at 1306 Stanford Drive, Norman A. Whitten University Center, Room 221B, Coral Gables, FL 33124-6922. The Miami Hurricane is published on Mondays and Thursdays during the university’s fall and spring academic terms. Newspapers are distributed free of charge on the Coral Gables campus, the School of Medicine and at several off-campus locations. DEADLINES All ads must be received, cash with copy, in The Miami Hurricane business office, Whitten University Center, Room 221B, by noon Tuesday for Thursday’s issue and by noon Friday for the Monday issue. SUBSCRIPTIONS The Miami Hurricane is available for subscription at the rate of $50 per year. AFFILIATIONS The Miami Hurricane is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press, Columbia Scholastic Press Assoc. and Florida College Press Assoc.
T HE MIAMI HURRICANE
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LinkedIn should be used professionally
L
inkedIn is a useful tool for college students looking for internships or even jobs postgraduation. It’s the Facebook of the professional world. But ALYSSA JACOBSON there are important SENIOR differences. COLUMNIST Unlike with Facebook – a site where you can easily choose to decline or ignore friend requests from random strangers (or even those individuals with whom you have mutual friends, but don’t recognize whatsoever) – LinkedIn etiquette still isn’t very clear. As LinkedIn gains prevalence in our technologically driven world, especially with people in our own generation, we are still figuring out how to define the boundaries for this networking tool. Who are we supposed to connect with? Are friends’ endorsements an accurate measure of our professional capabilities? And should companies base hiring decisions off LinkedIn information? Suppose you receive a contact request on LinkedIn from an individual with whom you’re not familiar, but you happen to have a mutual connection. I am sure this has happened to almost everyone in the LinkedIn world – myself included. Even better, the mutual connection is your supervisor’s
boss. How do you know if this person wants to offer you a job and that this is a relationship worth pursuing – or if this person is, to put it bluntly, a creeper? The decision about which types of contacts and whom to add is still undefined, since these types of online professional relationships are still in their early stages. In my case, the person in question had similar skills, an astounding number of degrees, and an experience list that read off like the supply list of a student returning to school after summer. However, I have not yet accepted this contact because there was no personal message included. LinkedIn provides the option to send a personalized message, and if this individual were truly interested in contacting me about job prospects, it would have made sense for him to add a more personal message. Oh yeah, and he lives across the globe all the way in India. With this much reasoning required (I could finish breakfast faster than making a choice about this contact), it is clear that LinkedIn etiquette still needs to be determined. Facebook is for friends. LinkedIn is for professional contacts. However, there is an option to add friends on LinkedIn, and many people’s networks seem to consist of those same friends from Facebook. Granted, networking with friends is a helpful mechanism when it comes
to finding a job as well. But are friends really capable of vouching for one’s working capabilities? They can certainly speak to one’s character, which is also important, but if you crusade for your friends to endorse or recommend you, this may not be an accurate representation of one’s professional abilities. You can endorse someone for virtually anything. Some of the strangest examples I have found include “groovy,” “blood,” “using the fbomb” and “umbrella insurance.” Not to mention the group endorsement feature that allows you to endorse someone for a whole range of skills with the click of a button, which takes just one second and absolutely zero thought. As the world becomes increasingly more dependent on technology – even finding potential employees and making recruiting decisions based entirely off of LinkedIn – students may wonder how to put their best feet forward in order to use LinkedIn for job prospects. While the question is complex, the answer is thankfully more concrete. Try to obtain recommendations or endorsements from past supervisors. Glowing reviews should hold more weight in employers’ eyes than a review from a friend about just how generally “awesome” you are. Alyssa Jacobson is a junior majoring in advertising and political science.
We would rather wait to see Miley Cyrus again
C
onsider this an open letter to one Destiny Hope Cyrus:
Miley, we get it. You’re all grown up. Gone are the days of Hannah Montana and Mickey Mouse. You no longer fraternize with Emily Osment, and instead of partying in ERIKA GLASS the USA, you party in Amsterdam or MULTIMEDIA somewhere else where salvia is legal. EDITOR I understand your desire to be respected as an adult and break away from the image of your former young self, but I assure you this is not the way to do it. I have to admit that when “We Can’t Stop” came out, I actually couldn’t stop listening to it. It became this notso-guilty pleasure and a constant repeat in my “G.N.O.” playlist. I respected you for doing your own thing and, even though the music video freaked me out, I let it slide because maybe that’s just how you visualized your song. I had no idea this would turn into a permanent thing for you. 8
OPINION
THE MIAMI HURRICANE
Maybe you’re just being Miley, but after your performance at the VMAs, enough is enough. Stop sticking your tongue out. It’s gross. Do us all a favor – stop making yourself look like the Cynthia doll in “Rugrats.” It’s not a f lattering look. You have such good bone structure, so why are you ruining it? Plus that hairdo is so ‘90s that it’s actually giving me f lashbacks of Scary Spice (but not in a chic Victoria Beckham way). And now you have a new song called “Twerk?” With Justin Bieber? Are you kidding me? Have some self-respect and lay low. We’re all still scarred from the VMAs performance, and we don’t even want to think about you “twerking.” If you feel the need to be different, take some pointers from people who do it well, like Katy Perry. P.S. Congratulations on getting what you wanted – at least now people are talking about you. I really wish CNN had better things to air. Erika Glass is a junior majoring in broadcast journalism.
Aug. 29 - Sept. 4 , 2013
Google guilty of spying on its users
O
ne of our peers has asked, “Where are the college students protesting NSA surveillance?” with regards to the recent divulgence about the National Security Agency surveillance program known as PRISM. I saw this question raised RAYMOND LA STAFF in an opinion piece published COLUMNIST online in USA Today College, admittedly bringing up an interesting point. But government surveillance is no new issue. Back when telegraphs were the main means of communication, the government had access to telegraph records early on. During the Civil War, President Lincoln granted his Secretary of War total control of telegraph lines and had them rerouted through his office. More importantly, the PRISM program is only part of a larger discussion about Internet communications. Nowadays, we all have many Facebook friends who constantly post status updates, upload new photos and like pages as if there’s no tomorrow. With just a glance, one can discern where they live, how old they are, what their hobbies are, when they have an exam and more. In essence, people have been volunteering to share this private information for a decade. So why is there this backlash against the government now, when some of these same people have been freely offering up their personal information all along? In the age of social media, there will always be an online footprint that you leave behind. Checking out your Google ad preferences profile is eerie, to say the least. Google can infer your demographics from web searches and history in order to show you relevant ads based on your gender, age, languages spoken and interests. Furthermore, for those who use Gmail, how do you think you are able to access your email remotely from any computer? Your inbox, saved messages and drafts are all stored on Google servers. So no matter what the NSA is doing, your and millions of others’ apparently personal emails are still being kept on distant servers owned by Google. Why should there be disparities in trust between a private enterprise and the government? Both have access to our “private” information. By all means, surveillance is a convoluted issue -- one that can be seen from multiple viewpoints. However, in the midst of all the debate on whether the government is overstepping its bounds, one must not forget the bigger picture. In a time when Google and Facebook can track and collect information on the activity of their users, the issue of online privacy is also applicable to these Internet enterprises, if it is to the government. Raymond La is a junior majoring in microbiology.
SEIU
Aug. 29 - Sept. 4 , 2013
T HE MIAMI HURRICANE
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DESIGN BY SARBANI GHOSH
BY MORGAN COLEMAN CONTRIBUTING EDGE WRITER
Miami is a tricky city for live music. The Miami Hurricane is here to help with our music venue series, bringing you the best local venues by genre. We’re starting with punk rock, and working our way through music styles. Keep an eye out for new finds throughout the year. “Miami’s punk scene feels like an afterthought,” said David Bennett, a member of the local band Dividends and former member of the Miami punk band MEAT. “The punk/metal scene is probably second largest next to EDM, but very far behind, and very DIY.” Being an avid rock fan in Miami is difficult because touring bands don’t often tour so far south. However, this inaccessibility shapes the city’s music scene dramatically. “The Miami music scene is unique in that there is a very fierce sense of ‘Do-It10
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THE MIAMI HURRICANE
Yourself,’ which I believe s t e m s from the fact that we are kind of isolated,” said Testokra member Carolyn Helmers. “We aren’t going to sit around waiting for bands to come down south, so we just have to write our own music.” CHURCHILL’S In a city sorely lacking in rock venues, there is one tucked away within Little Haiti with an almost cult-like following. Every weekend metal-heads and punk rockers alike congregate on the corner of Churchill’s: the most infamous spot for punk music in Miami. With a bathroom resembling the unforgettable toilet scene in “Trainspotting,” what’s not to love? Stocked with two dimly lit pool tables, a large black room with a stage, an outdoor patio and two bars, Churchill’s certainly is not the f lashiest venue in Miami, but it is one of the most down-to-earth. Expect to catch local bands like Holly Hunt, Aug. 29 - Sept. 4 , 2013
Torche and Te s t o k r a thrashing and moshing up the place until the wee hours of the morning.
“I feel like I should personally thank Grand Central for having Black Flag come,” Helmers said. Grand Central is located at 697 N. Miami Ave.
Churchill’s is located at 5501 NE Second Ave. GRAND CENTRAL While Churchills has by far been the most recognized punk venue since 1979, others have begun to catch on. Aside from weekly hip-hop events like Peach Fuzz and a wide variety of artists from STRFKR and Ra Ra Riot to Claude Vonstroke, Grand Central has hosted a number of well-known punk bands in the past few years such as The Casualties & Nekromantix. While the space is much more contemporary (and much cleaner) than Churchills, Grand Central can put on a good show. On Sept. 7 at 8 p.m., the two-story warehouse venue will host Black Flag, and rockers in Miami are pretty stoked about it.
BEEZLEBUB’S CAVE For an even more underground spot, look for a pair of skeletons outside 164 NW 20th St. holding a banner bearing the words of Shakespeare: “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” Enter Beezlebub’s Cave: the home, practice space and bare-bones BYOB venue of the hard-core threesome, Shroud Eater. The chains hanging from the ceiling are used by marauding party-goers to climb and dangle above the pentagram covered the f loor. This is a pretty hardcore spot, so don’t show up expecting to stand passively in the corner. Beezlebub’s Cave is located at 164 NW 20th St.
REVIEWS
One Direction breaks boy band stereotype in ‘This Is Us’ BY NICKY DIAZ MANAGING EDITOR
After the demise of the Jonas Brothers empire and the rise of the Bieber regime, it seemed like it would be a while until the next teen heartthrobs made their way into the music industry. Justin took over Twitter, the radio and the world – even non-Bieber fans can attest to the singer’s worldwide popularity. But as it turns out, we didn’t have to wait long for the next teen phenomenon. After Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik auditioned independently for “The X Factor UK” in 2010, the world of boy bands changed forever. Their perfect hair and cheeky smiles might fool you, but One Direction means business. Just watch the group’s new film, “This Is Us,” to see what I mean. They’re unlike any boy band I’ve ever seen – and as a professional fangirl, I’ve seen it all. These boys don’t dance. They’re covered in tattoos. They don’t coordinate their outfits. Horan plays guitar. And they’re fully aware of the fact that they’re not making life-changing or inspiring records – just feel-good, catchy pop music. Technically, they’re doing it wrong.
That’s not the formula most boy bands follow. But considering the group is on its way to becoming the first billion-dollar boy band, whatever the boys are doing is working. “This Is Us” documents everything the boys have achieved since taking third place in “The X Factor UK,” where Simon Cowell first put them together as a group. Since 2010, they’ve debuted at No. 1 in the U.S. (the first UK act to do so, not even the Beatles managed that feat), won several awards including VMAs and Brits, and sold out world tours. Through individual interviews with each of the band’s members – as well as interviews with family members – “This Is Us” shows fans what it’s like to be part of One Direction. Although most of the movie consists of the boys making their body guards’ lives impossible, there are also several emotional moments: Tomlinson’s mom talks about how Louis has only been home five times since 2010; Payne’s dad explains how he feels as though he has nothing left to teach Liam, considering he’s now a famous pop star who has traveled the world; and the boys reflect on what life will be like after One Direction.
Unlike past 3-D concert films, “This Is Us” gives more of a behind-the-scenes perspective. Rather than filling up time with concert footage, Oscar-nominated documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock gives fans what they want: a look at what life is like on the road and on the band’s tour bus, the boys outrunning security by hijacking a golf cart and Harry Styles walking around his hotel room in just boxers. Fans will leave the theater squealing and anyone who was dragged along to see the movie will gain respect for the five boys who have undoubtedly changed the game for boy bands.
Fans will leave the theater squealing and anyone who was dragged along to see the movie will gain respect for the five boys who have undoubtedly changed the game for boy bands. Rating: 3.5/4 stars Starring: Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson Directed By: Morgan Spurlock MPAA Rating: PG
‘THIS IS US’
STARRING: Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson DIRECTED BY: Morgan Spurlock
PHOTO COURTESY OF BLOG.ZAP2IT.COM
MPAA RATING: PG
MUSIC
Florida to host diverse genres during September SEPT. 6: ZEDD THE FILLMORE MIAMI BEACH
Miami is a city of a thousand sounds, but with so many performances happening at once, it can be easy to get lost in the music scene. September promises to be a month of great shows, with concerts and festivals ranging from hiphop to folk-rock to house and EDM.
If you spent all summer blasting Clarity in your car, you should check out Zedd at the Fillmore. The producer and DJ, who has remixed songs for Lady Gaga and produced Justin Bieber’s track “Beauty and a Beat,” is sure to put on a great show.
SEPT. 14: KASKADE AMERICAN AIRLINES ARENA
MONDAY NIGHTS: THE MIAMI JAZZ JAM CHURCHILL’S PUB
SEPT. 8: JOHN MAYER CRUZAN AMPHITHEATRE
SEPT. 17: STONE TEMPLE PILOTS BB&T CENTER
BY MARLEE LISKER STAFF WRITER
For those who prefer the bar scene to the clubs, check out Churchill’s Pub on NE Second Avenue. Stop by on a Monday to enjoy a night of jazz, as well as Theatre de Underground, an ongoing Open Mic series. This event, which has been happening for more than 10 years, runs from 9 p.m. to 3 a.m. and is open to those over 18.
SUNDAY: KNIFE PARTY MANSION NIGHTCLUB
Start September off right with the electrohouse duo deemed the biggest breakout group of 2012. For anyone who missed the two at Ultra this year, now is the perfect time to head down to South Beach and see them. It’s tricky to get there without a car, so if you can’t get a ride, grab some friends and rent a Zipcar.
Come out to the Cruzan Amphitheatre to hear the newest John Mayer songs. Mayer is currently on the road debuting his latest album, “Paradise Alley,” which many see as some of his strongest work. The Cruzan Amphitheatre is a little over an hour away in West Palm Beach, so load up the car or use the Tri-Rail.
SEPT. 10: J. COLE THE JAMES L. KNIGHT CENTER
For anyone who would rather hear hiphop than guitar riffs, J. Cole is heading down to Florida on the 10th to promote his album “Born Sinner” at the James L. Knight Center, which is less than a 20-minute drive from campus.
If folk alternative isn’t quite your style, you can check out the Kaskade show instead. The performance, which is a part of his Atmosphere Tour, is at the American Airlines Arena on Biscayne Bay, which is about 20 minutes by car or half an hour by public transit.
The Stone Temple Pilots are hosting a show at the BB&T Center this month featuring new lead singer Chester Bennington, formerly of Linkin Park. Located in the suburbs of Fort Lauderdale, the BB&T Center is around a 40-minute drive from campus.
SEPT. 20: THOMAS GOLD STORY
Serious EDM fans should head to Story on the 20th to experience Thomas Gold, a DJ originally from Berlin with sets that are sure to blow your mind. What started as a YouTube sensation has quickly grown into a club favorite, with plenty of remixes to keep you on your feet all night. The club, located in Miami Beach, is around a half-hour drive.
Aug. 29 - Sept. 4 , 2013
SEPT. 27: THE PRETTY RECKLESS REVOLUTION LIVE
Former “Gossip Girl” star Taylor Momsen is hitting the road with her band The Pretty Reckless to debut their sophomore album, “Going to Hell.” The band will be in Fort Lauderdale at the end of September at the newly renovated Revolution Live. With a sound many call old-school rock with a modern twist – not to mention Momsen’s unique vocals – this is sure to be an edgy performance. This is a twist on the classic battle of the bands. Rather than performing with an established band, participants are matched with three other performers and the “band” has one month to get a set ready. Anyone over 18 is welcome to come out and enjoy.
WANT MORE EVENTS? Check out these events and others listed on our online calendar at themiamihurricane.com/calendar. Ticket links and more information will be available on the calendar as well.
T HE MIAMI HURRICANE
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the number of UM athletic teams – out of 18 total – that made the postseason last year in their respective sports
the number of ACC home games scheduled for the women’s basketball team for the upcoming season
BASKETBALL
Former player becomes pioneer in the air BY THE NUMBERS: Miami’s Mike Wittman, who played for the men’s basketball team from 1963-1966, transitioned from a professional basketball career to a life in sports broadcasting. Take a look at the breadth of Wittman’s accomplishments both on the court with the Hurricanes and in the Goodyear blimp during his four decades of camerawork.
15th
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All time in career scoring for Miami basketball
Wins compiled during his three years at Miami
22.3
2,500
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Live events from the Goodyear blimp On the blimp, he covered...
Wittman's scoring average during the 1966 season
6
Olympics
30
World Series
Years in broadcasting
26
Super Bowls
3
Of Miami’s five National Championships
GRAPHIC BY CARLOS MELLA
Wittman inducted into broadcast hall of fame BY PATRICK RILEY STAFF WRITER
When Michael Wittman decided to accept a scholarship offer from the University of Miami, he hopped on a train from New York to Miami in the summer of 1963 for a chance to play alongside the great Rick Barry. It was the beginning of an extraordinary 50-year career in basketball and sports broadcasting. “Everything I’ve done in my whole life really was predicated on that decision and all the success I had,” Wittman said. “I was very fortunate for being at the right place at the right time.” The U at that time was very different from what we now know. Hurricanes basketball home games were played in Miami Beach in front of a mostly nonstudent crowd, and the players shared their locker room with ensemble dancers who worked on famous programs like “The Jackie Gleason Show.” Practices were different, too. Wittman recalls having to practice outdoors and 12
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sometimes share space with the ROTC. Wittman ended up with the Goodyear Logistical issues aside, Wittman and his Wingfoots in Ohio. It was there that his career fellow Canes did well for themselves. Much would really take off. of their success stemmed from Barry, whose “I got involved with the Goodyear blimps number now hangs from the rafters. Although then,” said the man they now call the Father of Wittman was never as good as Miami’s All- Aerial Sports Broadcasting. American, he came stunningly close. Over time, he perfected the art of covering He still ranks 15th on the Hurricanes’ all- sporting events from the blimp. time scoring list with 1,319 career “There were a lot of obstacles points. Wittman is also in the top in the way of getting a picture from 10 in both field goal and free throw a thousand feet,” Wittman said. percentage. “The equipment was too heavy for “After Barry graduated … I the blimp. There was no reliable way think I scored 41 points, I had 19 field of getting the picture down to the goals in a game and the headline of ground.” The Miami Herald was ‘Wittman a After traveling the globe on Barry for a day,’” he said. “On my a quest to find reliable equipment, best day I could be like him, but I Wittman finally encountered a WITTMAN didn’t have that many days. He was Canadian company that used girojust an extraordinary player.” stabilized cameras to locate defunct Wittman was cut from the St. Louis power lines in remote areas. Five years later, he Hawks after a short stint and had to pursue was able to show golf balls soar through the air, professional ball elsewhere. football plays unfold from above and stunning “I decided to go to the industrial league aerial shots of stadiums. which was a great, great move,” he said. “I His work will be honored on Dec. 17, when played there for a couple of years and had good he is inducted into the Sports Broadcasting Hall seasons, but it took me a while to get over the of Fame. fact that I wasn’t an NBA player.” Throughout his career, Wittman covered
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more than 2,500 live sports events from the Goodyear blimp, including six Olympics, 30 World Series and 26 Super Bowls. He also contributed to some ground-breaking television work. Literally. “Probably the biggest event that I did that people remember forever is the 1989 World Series,” Wittman said. “As we opened up, there was an earthquake. A lot of the stadium crumbled, the hill next to Candlestick Park crumbled. But the blimp turned out to be a huge hero, because there were no helicopters and it stayed up in the air almost 17 hours and reported about the bridges going out, and it actually saved lives, because you couldn’t really tell what was going on.” He got to fly in the blimp for three of Miami’s five football championship games, too. Wittman spent his career climbing to the top, but he still aims to ascend a few more peaks. “I’m going to do Mt. Whitney the beginning of next year and then Mt. Kilimanjaro next,” said Wittman, an avid mountain hiker. “I try to get as many of the highest mountain peaks in the United States. I did the highest in the Andes. That’s kind of my new thing.” Seems fitting.
FOOTBALL
Hurricane achievement started with Schnellenberger 1983 title team to be honored at first game BY KRISTEN SPILLANE STAFF WRITER
The year is 1979. A small private university in South Florida is on the verge of cutting its underperforming football program. Enter coach Howard Schnellenberger and the birth of that unmistakable phenomenon we like to call Hurricane swagger. It took Schnellenberger just five years to turn the Hurricanes completely around. On Friday, the University of Miami will honor the 1983 National Champions with a ceremony at halftime of its 8 p.m. game against Florida Atlantic University. Formerly the offensive coordinator for the legendary 1972 Miami Dolphins under coach Don Shula, in 1979 Schnellenberger took the helm of a pitiful Miami football program that needed guidance. “I recognized it had been a lot worse for a long period of time than it actually should have been. It was a graveyard of coaches for 13 years,” Schnellenberger said. “But when I finally got up enough courage to look into it, I could see that they had all of the most important resources you need to win a championship: a grand stadium, and they had that in the Orange Bowl, a great schedule with Florida, Florida State, Penn State and a lot of other great football teams, and the capacity to recruit players.” During the tumultuous decade that preceded his tenure, Schnellenberger noted that six coaches and seven athletic directors “came and went” from UM. But he built upon the pre-existing foundation and brought his own knowledge and vision to strengthen the pillars upon which the University and its athletic program were built. And then Schnellenberger made a bold prediction, setting an unthinkable benchmark. “We came aboard and made the announcement that we would win the national championship in five years,” he said. “I did that because there was such a lack of confidence there and … I had to lay out a plan that would inspire them.” In doing so, the goal was “attract the coaches, attract the players, attract the fans and work our way up to the fifth year of my existence.” MAKING IT TO THE TOP Schnellenberger followed through. The Hurricanes lost their first game in 1983, but then rattled off 10 straight wins to earn a trip to the 1984 Orange Bowl. Miami’s 31-30 win over Nebraska is often called the most exciting game in college football history.
COURTESY OF THE UNIVERSITY ARCHIVES, UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI LIBRARIES LIKE ROYALTY: Coach Howard Schnellenberger and his wife, Beverly, ride along the parade route in celebration of the Hurricanes’ 1983 championship. Miami transformed from an underwhelming, underperforming team to a legitimate dynasty by the end of the 1980s.
Freshman quarterback and future NFL great Bernie Kosar got the Canes off to a 17-0 start with two touchdown passes to tight end Glenn Dennison, adding a field goal from kicker Jeff Davis. Then there was Nebraska’s famous “Fumblerooski” trick play and Miami running back Albert Bentley’s touchdown run, ultimately the game-winning score. “Honestly, for probably the next week or so, it was like waking up in the morning and trying to make sure it wasn’t a dream, that we really did it,” Bentley said. “And even now, I look back on my entire football career, including eight years in the NFL, and that to me was the most exciting win of my life.” Three decades later, most longtime Canes fans will still get goose bumps when they recall Kenny Calhoun’s pass deflection in the final seconds that secured the national title. The Orange Bowl nail-biter was the culmination of Miami’s long, uphill climb. It also marked the beginning of a football dynasty. “That’s the reason why I coined a phrase that has been with me since 1979. To believe is to be strong,” said Schnellenberger, whose confidence never wavered, even after the opening loss to Florida. “So we sell the message, if we believe we can come together and work like we can do it, and it shall come
to pass.” And there was never any doubt among Miami players. “We believed we had the opportunity to compete for a national championship because we played all the major teams around the nation,” Calhoun said. “We weren’t in a league at the time, or a conference, so we played teams from everywhere, and we felt that was an edge to get to the national championship.” BACK TO THE FUTURE The 2013 Hurricanes, which are favored to win the ACC Coastal Division, can draw a lot of parallels with their 1980s counterparts. Schnellenberger likes what he sees from third-year coach Al Golden, saying he is “pretty enthralled” with him. “I think he’s got the idea of recruiting local kids down. The team has speed, a quarterback that can make it in the National Football League easily, receivers and running backs and a wildcard defense,” Schnellenberger said. Golden once asked the former coach to speak to the Canes and provide some perspective about what came before them. “I gave them a history lesson, and I told them if they can reach those heights, what it would do for the student body and the faculty and the staff and the alumni and those football Aug. 29 - Sept. 4 , 2013
fans all over South Florida,” Schnellenberger said. “And how much of an impact that makes not just on the niversity, but on the community.” When Miami takes the field under the lights at Sun Life Stadium, the members of that 1983 championship team will be buzzing with excitement and anticipation just like their glory days at the Orange Bowl. “It’s always good to see your brothers, your teammates, your friends, your classmates from time gone by,” he said. “It’s an honor and a privilege to get together.” Bentley agrees. “I’m excited about seeing those guys,” he said of the more than 50 teammates expected to attend Friday’s season opener. “That game, that national championship, it bonded us all for life.”
FROM THE COVER PHOTO COURTESY OF THE UNIVERSITY ARCHIVES, UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI LIBRARIES 4 After winning the 1983 National Championship, the Miami Hurricanes paraded through downtown Miami in January of 1984.
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PHOTO BRIEF
Hurricanes make final preparations before kickoff
CHARLOTTE CUSHING // CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHER STRETCHING IT OUT: Junior defensive end Anthony Chickillo stretches with his teammates at practice on Tuesday. Miami is making final preparations for its matchup against Florida Atlantic University (FAU) on Friday. Coach Al Golden spoke to the media on Tuesday and expressed his excitement for the first-ever meeting between the teams. Golden said Howard Schnellenberger, the former Miami and FAU coach, was “the genesis” behind the scheduling decision. He also discussed his optimism for the year ahead. “It’s a team that is going into the season with a lot of confidence, which comes from demonstrated performance over a long period of time,” Golden said. “There hasn’t been a lot of setbacks, hasn’t been a lot of distractions. Everything we have asked them to do along the way, they have achieved.”
GET INVOLVED! JOIN UM DEBATE! Visit our Team Site at http://umdebate.blogspot.com/
www.debate.miami.edu The University of Miami Debate Team is currently seeking new members. Participation is open to all UM Undergraduate students. Prior experience in competitive debate is helpful but not necessary. To express interest or learn more, contact: David Steinberg, Director of Debate FLW 3015, dave@miami.edu, 305-284-5553 14
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THE MIAMI HURRICANE
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Dear Bitter Betty,
DEAR V Teach me how to be promiscuous...
Having read the advice you gave me last week, I’m a bit disappointed in your ability to counsel me, V. For one, I’m not 20 years old, and I am by no means a virgin. I am single and on regular birth control given that I am completely open to the idea of casual sex whenever it should occur. You say I’m interested in the thrill of the chase. That’s not true. Trust me, if I could have a relationship with my Vibrating Jimmy Jane, I would. And then you said at the very least I got to relieve stress? It was a very stressful situation! It was the worst. You say it was his technique, I don’t think that was it either. I took a sex class. He knew what he was doing. Why is it that I’ve made a decision to be promiscuous, yet can get turned on the way I’m supposed to? This happened when I tried kissing, touching and having sex too. Alcohol was my best friend this weekend. Sincerely,
Is there a girl version of Whiskey Dick? Because it sounds like your problem may have just been that you were too inebriated to enjoy yourself. On a much larger scale, you can’t just “make a decision to be promiscuous.” Promiscuity is an art form often aided by alcohol (though in this case it seemed to have been your undoing) and fate. The mood has to be right, and the situation has to lend itself to loose morals and slutty thoughts. Once all these stars align, philandering actions will take their course. From what you’ve been sending me, you seem like the type of person that has had everything planned out since they were 5 years old. I’d like to exacerbate the fact that this is not one of those things where you can pull out your pink planner and circle the date three weeks in advance. It will eventually just happen and planning ahead won’t do you
any good. You’re going to end up frustrating yourself and those around you. Also, chill out because no one wants to be around someone who’s whining about how they can’t (or won’t) enjoy sex. Everyone should enjoy sex. Stop killing your vibe. Stop killing my vibe. Stop killing everyone’s vibe. My best advice (since you seem to be dissatisfied with my previous answer) is to just calm the f*@! down. Sip a mojito by the pool, forget your worries and just let things come to you. Trust me, at some point, they will. The next time a boy who “knows what he’s doing” is trying to touch you, stop thinking and just let it ride. You’d be surprised at the things you’ll accomplish with your thoughts turned off. Now go watch “Magic Mike” and play with your “Vibrating Jimmy Jane.” V
Unhappy and Unhorny
GOT AN ACHY, BREAKY HEART? WRITE TO DEARV@THEMIAMIHURRICANE.COM FOR ADVICE.
SAVVY IN SALES
SAVVY IN SALES? SALES REPRESENTATIVE POSITIONS ARE AVAILABLE. FOR MORE INFORMATION, CONTACT TARA AT 305-284-4401 OR EMAIL TARA@THEMIAMIHURRICANE.COM.
LIKE US? WE LAUNCHED A NEW WEBSITE. VISIT THEMIAMIHURRICANE.COM TO CHECK IT OUT. Aug. 29 - Sept. 4 , 2013
T HE MIAMI HURRICANE
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Thursday, August 29th • 9 p.m. Student Activities Center
Come over to the new Student Activities Center for music, food, giveaways, entertainment, and an adventure in every room! You don’t want to miss this new monthly Hurricane tradition! Here’s a preview of the
awesome FREE things planned for this month’s event! Dueling Pianos in the Rathskeller - Street Signs - Stuff-a-Plush Photo Dry Erase Boards - Big Chair Photos - Improv Show - Zumba
miami.edu/calendar Thursday, August 29 Patio Jams ft. Jordan Brown
12:15 p.m. • UC Patio Start a new Thursday afternoon tradition with HP’s Patio Jams! Take a break from classes, bring your lunch, and enjoy the live band!
TIP Orientation
3 p.m. • Toppel Library Have you secured an internship and are interested in the Toppel Internship Program? To particpate in the Toppel Internship Program (TIP) you must attend a TIP Orientation prior to your internship start date.
Club Sports Expo
7 p.m. • Herbert Wellness Center All 45 active clubs showcase their sport and explain how to get involved. Students can walk inside and out to observe each club as they perform their sport and sign up for information or join the club(s) of their choice.
Lowe Art Museum Presents: THE CLANDESTINE CHILDHOOD 7 p.m. • Cosford Cinema
Friday, August 30 Cosford Cinema Presents: AIN’T THEM BODIES SAINTS 6:45 p.m. • Cosford Cinema
Football vs. FAU
8 p.m. • Sun Life Stadium Come support your ‘Canes as they take on Florida Atlantic University (FAU)! Buses depart for the stadium 3 hours before kickoff and the last bus leaves the Coral Gables campus at kickoff time. Coverage availabe via ESPNU and WVUM 90.5 FM. Freshmen may obtain their pre-game onfield credential from the BUC ticket office for Freshmen Walk on Thursday, August 29th from 9am-5pm and Friday, August 30th from 9am-1pm. Buses for freshmen only depart from the BUC beginning at 4pm. Category 5 Tailgate for freshmen outside of Gate B begins at 5pm.
Cosford Cinema Presents: THE BLING RING 8:45 p.m. • Cosford Cinema
Saturday, August 31 Orientation Outreach
9 a.m. • Meet at the Rock, UC Plaza The Butler Center for Volunteer Service and Leadership Development invites you to participate in this volunteer event in the community. Wear comfortable clothes. Breakfast and lunch will be provided. For details, call 305-284-GIVE.
Cosford Cinema Presents: AIN’T THEM BODIES SAINTS
2 p.m., 8:15 p.m. • Cosford Cinema
Friday, September 6 • 4:30 p.m. UC Patio Greek and non-Greeks alike, feel free to come out to this event and meet the newest members of the Greek community! New members please report to the Student Activities Center West Ballroom at 3 p.m. to pick up bid cards. Please be prepared to line up by 4 p.m. New members will be announced at 4:30 p.m. For more information contact the Dean of Students Office at (305) 284-5353.
4 p.m., 10:15 p.m. • Cosford Cinema
Cosford Cinema Presents: THE BLING RING 8:15 p.m. • Cosford Cinema
Lowe Art Museum Presents: THE CLANDESTINE CHILDHOOD 6 p.m. • Cosford Cinema
Sunday, September 1 Student Leadership Institute
1 p.m • Student Activities Center (3rd Floor) The annual training (formally S.O.S. Training) for student organization presidents and treasurers will feature a keynote speaker, breakout sessions on UM policiies and procedures to help your organization, assistance in Org Sync, and new information regarding the new SAC. All COSO registered student organizations are required to attend this mandatory session to maintain their active organization status.
Don’t forget to purchase your Game Day Shirt before this Friday’s game vs. FAU! UC Info Desk - $5
Cosford Cinema Presents: AIN’T THEM BODIES SAINTS 2 p.m., 6:15 p.m. • Cosford Cinema
Cosford Cinema Presents: SALOME 12:00 p.m. • Cosford Cinema
Lowe Art Museum Presents: THE CLANDESTINE CHILDHOOD
September 2, 2013 Labor Day • No Classes
4 p.m. • Cosford Cinema
Football vs. UF
Saturday, September 7 • 12 p.m. Sun Life Stadium The biggest rivalry of the season is here! Buses depart for the stadium 3 hours before kickoff and the last bus leaves the Coral Gables campus at kickoff time!
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THE MIAMI HURRICANE
Aug. 29 - Sept. 4 , 2013
Next week...
IFC Bid Day!
Cosford Cinema Presents: THE BLING RING
Sebastian suggests...
‘Canes Calendar
Canes After Dark: We Welcome U Home