The Miami Hurricane: December 3, 2019 by The Miami Hurricane

Vol. 97, Issue 13 | December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

THE PRICE OF LAKESIDE LUXURY Students react to new housing rates

NEWS // Page 2 HIGH-PRICED HOUSING: Housing & Residential Life recently released the housing rates for the Lakeside Village apartments and suites, sparking conversation among students about the high cost of living on-campus.

Jared Lennon // Photo & Visuals Editor

NEWS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

HOUSING

Students raise concerns about housing changes for next year By Amir Mahmoud Staff News Wroter

UM students squeezed into a lecture hall Thursday, Nov. 21, to learn about the housing situation for those looking to live on campus next school year. With the first phase of the new student housing at Lakeside Village nearing its final stages, there are going to be major changes to where students will be living next school year, Jon Baldessari, the senior director of strategic facility management and housing administration, said during the housing informational session. Currently, most sophomores on campus live in the Mahoney and Pearson Residential Colleges. However, students who will be sophomores next year get first priority for housing at Lakeside Village. Though the promise of nicer living conditions at Lakeside Village is enticing, many students are concerned about the price of the living space. A freshman currently living in a double room at Hecht, Stanford or Eaton can expect a minimum of a $3,490 increase in housing costs per year if they choose to live at Lakeside. That is for the cheapest possible suite, according to the new housing rates. For $23,300 per year, students can opt to live in the Oak unit, a private apartment complete with a full kitchen, in-unit laundry, living room and upgraded finishes and furnishes. “It is exciting. The cost isn’t exciting. I don’t know how I’m going to live,” said Cherise Clough, a freshman majoring in biochemistry. Clough, an Eaton resident, is now considering off-campus options. She is still unsure where she will live next school year. “I was under the impression that I could live all four years on campus under the same price. Now, I get that they’re trying to make the living space more luxurious, I guess, but the pricing for this is not for everyone,” said Jan Lin, a junior majoring in civil engineering who currently lives in Mahoney but now will possibly have to find another place to live on campus. The range of rates at Lakeside Village were created through extensive research the university

LAKESIDE LIVING: The Lakeside Village is located along Lake Osceola and will house primarily sophomore students during the 2020-2021 academic year.

has been conducting since the first conceptualization of the Housing Facilities Strategic Plan back in 2012, Baldessari said. “Surveys and focus groups of students and their families helped us determine what they value in oncampus housing,” he said. “These retail locations will include a Smoothie King, 1950s style diner and a barber shop. Along with the brand new construction, students asked for significantly increased privacy, in-unit amenities with modern furnishings, upgraded finishes and fixtures, as well as a range of individual and group study spaces and several retail locations.” Baldessari said the rates released for next year are estimates and are awaiting approval from the Board of Trustees. With Stanford Residential College going down, freshman, too, will face a big change in their on campus living situation. Mahoney and Pearson will primarily house freshmen next year. Students expressed concerns about how this will affect the freshman experience. “I feel like a big part of HechtStanford was the interaction between the entire floor, and that’s something that the freshmen had an active RA. Now that they’re moving them to Mahoney, they’re not going to have as much interaction with other people on their floor,” said Lin.

Will Riddle, a sophomore majoring in psychology who currently resides in Pearson, shared that sentiment. He described it as a “give and take” situation. “The community in Stanford really helped me through my first year and I hope that freshman don’t lose that,” he said. However, Riddle, a current resident at also recognized that Stanford was aging and needed a remodel. In response, Pat Whitely, the vice president for student affairs, put the onus on students and those who work in Housing & Residential Life. “Much of the residential experience is shaped by the residents themselves,” she said. “While there may be some architectural differences between Hecht Residential College as compared to Mahoney and Pearson, the RAs, residential faculty and area directors will continue to support community building in our residential colleges,” she said. Owen May, a sophomore majoring in marine sciences, is especially displeased with the shakeup to the housing. “It seems like [current] sophomores are the only ones who aren’t prioritized anywhere,” he said. Rising juniors will be able to live at the University Village, Eaton, Lakeside Village and possibly at Mahoney-Pearson if there is available

space. May initially planned to live on campus next year but is now weighing his options. “When I came to campus, I was under the impression that we would live in the new housing, but knowing that those dorms will be filled by mostly sophomores is tough,” said the Mahoney resident. Lakeside Village was originally set to be completed by 2019 and available for current sophomores to live in, but the project was delayed. Others, including Riddle, were less upset about the impacts on current sophomores. He said he is considering many options as a result of the prices at Lakeside but said he thinks the new housing will certainly be worth it for the university. Baldessari responded to these concerns saying, “Between Lakeside Village and Eaton, one of our main goals was to provide rising sophomore students with more on-campus beds in a variety of unit types and rates than ever before– all in alignment with the extensive student-centered research we conducted over the past years.” He said HRL aims to keep more students on campus. While some current sophomores feel overlooked in the plans, Baldessari said, “There will be more beds available for non-firstyear students than ever before.”

Source: Housing & Residential Life

Students also raised concerns about the new centralized packaging system at Lakeside Village. The housing village will feature a UPS center where all student packages, except for those going to the UV will be processed and kept for pick up. Baldessari explained that HRL made this change because the front desks at the residential colleges are becoming unable to handle the high volume of packages due to limits in staff and space. “Centralizing the mail and packaging services will be more efficient for everyone involved and will offer resident students with more services including access to overnight lockers, more robust tracking and an added retail service for shipping packages from campus,” he said. For some such as freshman Blessing lyiegbu, the new student housing brings tremendous hope for the future of campus. “I had a lot of issues with my room this year,” said Iyiegbu, who is an Eaton resident. She is hopeful that the new student housing will ultimately be better for freshman looking to stay on campus next year. Anna Timmons contributed to the reporting of this story.

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

NEWS

Tel Aviv University Sackler School of Medicine

New York State/American Program

Source: Housing & Residential Life

Lakeside Village Housing Rates SUITES LSV Double (2/1 or 3/1) LSV Single (3/1) LSV Single (2/1) LSV Efficiency

PER SEMESTER

PER ACADEMIC YEAR

$5,975 $8,225 $8,725 $9,575

$11,950 $16,450 $17,450 $19,150

$8,650 $9,200 $9,275 $9,525 $9,750 $9,800 $9,800 $10,250 $10,450 $11,000 $11,650

$17,300 $18,400 $18,550 $19,050 $19,500 $19,600 $19,600 $20,500 $20,900 $22,000 $23,300

APARTMENTS Merrick (4/2) Gables (2/1) Mangrove (4/2) Banyan (3/1) Cypress (2/1) Ocean (4/2) Sunset Studio Tropical (2/1) Sawgrass Studio Osceola (1/1) Oak (1/1)

The Tel Aviv University Sackler School of Medicine-New York State/American Program offers an outstanding four year medical school curriculum, taught in English, leading to the M.D. degree. The Program is chartered by the Regents of the University of the State of New York and is accredited by the State of Israel. Students do their clerkships and electives in hospitals in Israel, U.S. and Canada. One of these hospitals, Sheba Medical Center, was selected by Newsweek magazine as one of the top 10 hospitals around the world. Graduates participate in the National Resident Matching Program and return to the United States for their residency training. The 2019 graduating class had a 100% match rate! Since its commencement in 1976, over 2,000 alumni have completed their residency training at the most distinguished hospitals in the United States and Canada.

Applications for the class of 2024 are available on our website. www.sacklerschool.org provides extensive information about Sackler SOM For further information, e-mail sacklermed@sacklermed.org

NEWS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

ACADEMICS

Female representation in administration increases By Amanda Gonzalez & Jesse Lieberman Contributing News Writers

For 14 years at the University of Miami, a woman topped the helm of leadership –President Donna Shalala. Four years after Shalala stepped down in 2015 to eventually become a U.S. congresswoman, women are once again running the academic show at UM – not as president but as leaders of the faculty senate, the board of trustees and student government. The 2019-2020 academic year marks the first time when both the faculty senate and board of trustees leadership comprises all women. They are Faculty Senate Chair Linda Neider, First Vice Chair JoNel Newman, Second Vice Chair Helen Bramlett and UM Board of Trustees Chair Hilarie Bass. Together, these women help lead a total of 3,179 full and part-time faculty at UM. For many, their positions bring hopes that increased inclusivity and representation of women in power is no longer an exception, but the norm. “It gives our students role models, and I hope makes them feel that we’re approachable and interested in their issues,” said Neider, who served as first vice chair for four years prior to being elected senate chair. “It really emphasizes the fact that we embrace diversity, which is a key objective of the faculty senators, board of trustees and university administration.” Faculty senate is the representative body of the university made up of 49 elected faculty senators through which faculty may channel their voices and ideas. The senate meets monthly and officer elections are held annually. Bramlett said she believes the new leadership will move forward a continued interest in increasing representation at the university. “Based on some of our recent conversations with the administration at both the Coral Gables and medical campuses, this topic is at the forefront of their issues to address,” said Bramlett, a professor of neurosurgery and psychology. “I would like to think that having female role models in leadership

positions would impact not only our female undergraduates but our male students as well.” All four women elected to leadership roles have a long list of exemplary achievements. Neider has served as vice dean for various academic programs, Newman has held leadership positions in the American Bar Association, Bramlett has been a recipient of a prestigious National Institutes of Health research grant and Bass was former co-president of renowned Miami-based law firm Greenberg Traurig. Bass is only the second woman in the university’s history to chair the Board of Trustees. The first was Marta S. Weeks who was elected in 2007. At a “Diversity and Inclusion” conference sponsored by the Miami Herbert Business School in September, Bass talked about the importance of women changing the way they might see themselves in leadership roles. “I am working closely to ensure we are educating our young women to go into the workforce fully prepared,” said Bass, who is the founder and president of the Bass Institute, an organization she started this year to help companies, law firms and institutions retain and elevate more women to senior management. Paying close attention to the kind of dialogue that takes place both in and out of the boardroom is one way implicit bias impacts women, Bass said. Using herself as an example, she said when her male coworkers would walk into a board meeting she was hosting, she would ask, “Can I get you some coffee?” That simple offer is perpetuating the idea that women are supposed to cater to men, she said. By changing her language to “Help yourself to anything you want to drink,” she attempted to shift the dynamics of the meeting. “I had to train myself to sit at the head of the table, communicate to the community that I am in charge; I am in fact leading this meeting,” Merike Blofield, director of the university’s Gender and Sexuality Studies program, complimented the faculty senate’s female leaders on their established record of excellence.

“It has to be emphasized that these three individuals are extremely competent,” said Blofield, who is also a former member of the faculty senate’s Equity and Inclusion Committee. “I just have strong faith in them as faculty and as representatives of faculty interests.” Blofield said that the work of the faculty senate’s Equity and Inclusion Committee, such as studying opportunity disparities occurring among university faculty, highlights the importance of women leadership in administration. “It’s important for faculty to see that women can rise to the top of faculty senate leadership,” Blofield said. “As a woman, you have that bias working against you that you’re somehow less eligible for these positions.” Student government, which works closely with the faculty senate and UM administration, also has two female students in top positions: Emily Gossett is student government president and Millie Chokshi is vice president. Having women in power in UM administration allows for initiatives that may have otherwise remained stagnant, Chokshi said. In 2018 student government began an initiative to provide free feminine hygiene products in the majority of campus restrooms. This was a significant move considering the number of students it would impact on campus: 53 percent of graduate and undergraduate students are female and 59.6 percent of faculty are female. Chokshi said Vice President for Student Affairs Patricia Whitely’s influence was vital in getting the proposal implemented. “It is important that we have leaders who are conscious of the things that affect every student, including females,” said Chokshi, a public health major. Chokshi said she has faced bias as a female leader on campus. “When it’s an aggressive male leader, that’s normal,” said Chokshi. “But if you’re an aggressive female leader, people might say you’re sassy. It’s one of those things where you have to take what people say about you and just keep going.” Isabel Tragos contributed to this reporting.

Meet the new female leadership at UM Linda L. Neider, chairwoman, faculty senate Neider is a tenured professor of management with a secondary appointment as professor in the Department of Health Management and Policy in the Miami Herbert Business School. She is also chairman of the Department of Management. JoNel Newman, first vice chair, faculty senate Newman is a professor of clinical legal education and director of the Health Rights Clinic at the University of Miami School of Law. She also serves on the Board of Directors for the American Civil Liberties Union of Florida.

Helen Bramlett, second vice chair, faculty senate Bramlett is the director of the Undergraduate Neuroscience Program at the University of Miami, as well as managing editor of Therapeutic Hypothermia and Temperature Management for the Journal of Neurotrauma and Translational Stroke Research.

Hilarie Bass, chairwoman, University of Miami Board of Trustees Bass is a prominent attorney and cofounder of Greenberg Traurig LLP. She is also the president and founder of the Bass Institute for Diversity and Inclusion, working to ensure inclusivity in the field of law. Photo source: University of Miami

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

NEWS

COMMUNITY

Professor charged with money laundering, appears in court By Jaime Harn Copy Chief

After being charged with money laundering, Bruce Bagley, a University of Miami international relations professor, appeared in a federal courtroom Thursday, Nov. 21. Bagley, 73, was seen in front of Magistrate Judge Jacqueline Becerra, where he agreed to be transferred to New York federal court. His arraignment is pending. While Bagley declined to comment after his court appearance, his lawyer, Daniel Forman, said, “I don’t want him to make any statements. We’re confident at the end of the day he’s going to be exonerated.” Bagley was seen on campus

by students Wednesday, Nov. 20. He also declined to comment on his pending charges. According to the U.S. State Attorney’s Office, Bagley allegedly laundered about $2.5 million dollars from Venezuela into his personal bank account and kept 10 percent for himself. “[Bagley] allegedly opened bank accounts for the express purpose of laundering money for corrupt foreign nationals,” said U.S. Attorney Geoffrey Berman. “Moreover, the funds Bagley was allegedly laundering were the proceeds of bribery and corruption, stolen from the citizens of Venezuela.” Bagley is officially charged with one count of conspiracy to commit money laundering and two counts of money

laundering. They each carry a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison. The university was made aware of the indictments against Bagley on Monday, November 18, the day he was arrested by South Florida FBI agents. “In light of this development, professor Bagley is on administrative leave. As this is a personal matter in an ongoing investigation, the university has no further comment at this time,” the university said in a statement. Liam Graf, a junior majoring in international relations and economics, took Bagley’s Latin American Foreign Policy class in the spring. He said the professor’s class was interesting and insightful

Photo source: University of Miami MIAMI MONEY: Bruce Bagley, a UM professor, was recently charged with laundering $2.5 million of Venezuelan money.

but “nothing that would make it seem like he did insider trading when it came to organized crime or money laundering.” “We talked heavily about

narco-trafficking,” Graf said. “And he does actually seem to indicate that he was on the side of the angels, at least when it came to that.”

ACADEMICS

Students learn financial literacy at business school By Jesse Lieberman Staff News Writer

“What’s a good credit score?” asked a University of Miami student at a “Financial Literacy” event on Nov. 4 put on by UM. In conjunction with Miami’s Security and Exchange Commission office, the hour long seminar presented by volunteer SEC employees, is part of a greater effort by UM’s Herbert Business School to educate students on everyday financial matters. “I wanted to learn what it means to build credit and a budget,” said Chris Carson, a sophomore studying history and philosophy. Carson was not alone in this desire. Students peppered the presenters about what will affect their credit score and how to get low interest rates. “It’s not just students with these questions, it’s adults as well,” said Eric Bustillo, the regional director of Miami’s

SEC office. He explained that the SEC offers these seminars all over, from high schools to large employers. As student and credit card debts climb to all time highs, the SEC aims to educate students on how to be smart with their finances. At the end of the presentation, attendees were given a booklet titled “Saving and Investing for Students” that gives student-focused investing information and a DVD that discusses the psychology of money based decisions. The presentation is just one of the ways the business school is trying to teach students across UM about how to be “financially smart.” Seth Levine, a CPA and lecturer at the Herbert Business school, explained the idea to teach financial skills first came up when the administration asked him, “What’s a topic students should learn about, but aren’t being taught?”

“Immediately this idea came to me,” Levine said. The idea was a class that would teach “basic life 101,” and cover topics such as buying insurance, balancing a checkbook and investing basics. Together with several other faculty, Levine created a class called “Money” that would be taught in the Herbert Business School but open to all students. According to the syllabus, the class teaches students how to manage their money to meet their personal and business financial independence goals. The class is part of a three-class cognate in the business school designed to help teach students life skills that they may have never learned. Although most classes in the Herbert Business School are only available to business students, all the classes in this cognate are open to nonbusiness majors. “Students today are basically financially illiterate,” he said, arguing that financial literacy is

something that should be taught at the high school level, but is often neglected to a detrimental effect. “Students get here and they immediately start making money mistakes… they get into debt and are spending more than they make.” Levine isn’t alone in his belief; many students agree. Carson said school never taught him about how to manage his finances. “It’s ridiculous,” he said. Carson also said he knows fellow students who have taken out thousands of dollars in loans, yet don’t know how to pay them off or understand the consequences of failing to do so. “You accept ridiculous amounts of loans at 18, yet no one has talked to you about financial literacy once,” Carson said. Outside of UM, Florida politics have been in a battle about how to properly teach financial literacy at the high

school level. The dispute is over whether these lessons should be required or optional. At UM, the class and seminars are all optional. Carson said the university should host financial literacy seminars every month, arguing that the classes and seminars could be more broadly marketed and frequented. The seminar was only held once, leaving students with scheduling conflicts unable to attend. Carson noted the only way he knew about the seminar was because he used to be in the business school and still receives its emails. “I don’t think it’s marketed as good as it could be,” Levine admitted. Levine encourages students to not only take the class on money, but read books such as “Rich Dad Poor Dad,” a book about financial literacy and how to invest, and to do everything they can to become financially literate.

NEWS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

TRANSPORTATION

Bicyclists complain about lack of infrastructure By Noor Khaled Senior News Writer

Several students have been complaining about the lack of a bike-friendly space at the UM Coral Gables Campus. “I almost f**king hit a squirrel,” said Bhargavi Pochi, a junior majoring in ecosystem science and policy and public health, who regularly rides her bike around campus and Miami. Since 2012, UM has been recognized by the League of American Bicyclists as a Bicycle Friendly University, receiving the bronze award for their efforts, the lowest metal. According to the BFU criteria, the bronze award entails the following characteristics: “May not necessarily feel very welcoming. These colleges and universities may only have a couple bike lanes in place and few opportunities for bicycling events. However, important steps are being taken in all five E’s [Engineering, Education, Encouragement, Enforcement, Evaluation & Planning] but particularly in one or two Es. For example, a university might have several cycling instructors that give regular cycling skill classes, and there is great bike parking at all major destinations.” According to Lluvia Resendiz, the university’s Department of Parking and Transportation mobility manager, UM is working diligently on improving their status with the League of American Bicyclists. “Our goal is always to look at what the results are and take some of the recommendations that the ALB provides as a term of improving our ranking from bronze to silver which is our next goal,” she said. “One of the programs that we had in mind was the bike share program that would definitely not only support our campus community

but also help us in improving to silver.” Regardless of the university’s standing with the ALB, Pochi, a member of the UM bike club, does not believe that the campus is safe for bikers. “I don’t agree with the fact that UM advertises this campus as bike friendly when it really isn’t. The infrastructure doesn’t really support bike-ability,” she said. She cites the unstable bricks near the sidewalks of the Frost School of Music that often affect students who bike, walk, and skateboard through as a major problem on campus. “If you’re riding a road bike, which has really thin tires, it is a lot easier to get impacted by these infrastructure issues,” said Pochi. An avid bicyclist, she believes that UM’s campus favors pedestrians. A frequent complaint cited by bicyclists is the absence of enough bike racks for the volume of bikes on campus. “Often times I find myself locking my bike to railings, which is putting my bike in danger,” said Pochi. Sydney Knapp, a senior majoring in international studies and Spanish, agreed with the deficit of bike racks within the UM community. “There is frequent struggle to find a bike rack. Especially by [the Hecht] Athletic [Center]”, said Knapp, a D-1 swimmer for the university. “We [athletes] often get our bikes locked up by UMPD which is very annoying, but there is nowhere else to put the bikes,” she said. Resendiz spoke about the lack of bike racks, an issue which she has personally seen passing sidewalks that are full and messy with scattered bikes. “Each year, we would like to add more bike racks based on the different locations that we see is a trend. One of the recent locations that we identified as a need for additional bike racks

CYCLING SOLUTION: To build a better biking infrastructure, students are calling for more bike racks around campus. Jared Lennon // Photo & Visuals Editor

is the Schwartz Walkway just behind Hecht Athletic Center,” she said. Knapp is also concerned about the lack of coexistence between footers and wheelers. “People need to be a little more conscious of where they walk because often times people will walk right in the path of bikers or skateboarders,” she said. Another student, Trevor Robhon, a sophomore majoring in biomedical engineering, is not a biker, but is affected by the lack of bikeability on campus. On the pedestrian end of the duality, he feels that there is a lack of infrastructural support to house both parties. “I’ve ran into bikers several times while I was walking and not paying attention,” Robhon said. “It’s not their fault because there literally isn’t room for the both of us at the same time.” Repair stations and pumpus in poor shape are another problem for bicyclists, junior Bradley Lewandowski explained.

Resendiz addressed this issue that her office is currently trying to tackle. “We are working towards putting together a committee that could talk about bike repairs on campus,” she said. “It is a conversation we’re having since I brought it up with our liaisons.” P&T will work further on this project once they find a group of university stakeholders to identify that there is a need for bike repairs on campus. The Student Government liaison for P&T, Godard Solomon, said that his team has been working with the parking and transportation office to ease life for bicyclists. Solomon is working with the Office of P&T on projects that include adding more bike repair stations, some of which have been implemented in the UV. The junior majoring in political science and public administration is a bicyclist himself and is currently working passionately for a cause that affects him too.

“I bike from my house to campus, park at the law school, and then walk for the rest of my day. There’s no point in even biking through campus because there’s literally no space to navigate,” said Solomon. Student Government is working with administration to get the university from bronze to silver bike-ability, which would entail the campus feeling “welcoming to bikes but there is still usually work to be done in two or three of the Es to undergird the bicycling culture and opportunities. Solomon reported that they are looking into adding more bike racks on campus and possibly some covered bike racks as well. “It takes a lot of planning that goes into the actual paths and taking the pedestrians into consideration and all of that,” said Resendiz, the P&T representative. “Creating a bike-ability community is not something that happens overnight.”

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

Opinion

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HURRICANE Founded 1929

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December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

OPINION

EDITORIAL

We need more reading days Ever since we went off for Thanksgiving break, we all k new f inals season was rapidly approaching, but somehow the realit y of st udying and writing numerous papers in a shor t amount of time creeped up on us any way. The gr ueling, coffee-chugging, paget ur ning, tiring time is upon us, and the major consensus among st udents on our campus is that we need more time to prepare. There is an extremely quick t ur naround time from the end of Thanksgiving break to the beginning of f inals, and to make mat ter worse, we have only one reading day. U M’s Fall 2019 schedule was par ticularly complex this semester. Syllabi and test dates had to be changed because Thanksgiving came later in the month this year, and st udents have been complaining about having to st udy and catch up on assignments over Thanksgiving break. During a time when st udents should be relaxing, connecting with family and recharging, we had to be preparing for the

last t wo days of classes and f inal exams. It is especially insensitive to those st udents who live out of state who had to deal with the stress of traveling back and for th. If you have ever been to the Miami Inter national Air por t, you k now how exhausting traveling can be. It’s impossible for us to

why we are calling on the school and administration to extend our reading days. In the past, we were given three f ull days, but since 2013, they have been cut down. We are a school that takes our academics extremely serious and we k now that f inals week is an impor tant, but stressf ul, time. Reading

“We are calling on the school and administration to extend our reading days.” decompress and get ready for all these tasks in just one day, but this is what the school is asking us to do. This is

days are extremely helpf ul in allowing st udents to decompress from class life and get into the clear

headspace needed for f inals. W hat administrators don’t think about is how impor tant reading days are to our mental health. Finals week can bring a lot of anxiet y and stress into st udents’ life. The feeling of being extremely over whelmed or under prepared can negatively impact st udent performance. Not only will more reading days help us st udy and retain more information, but it will be a step for ward in the f ight for improved mental health on campus. More reading days will be a huge relief, not just for st udents but for professors who need time to catch up on grading assignments. This is something our st udents need again, and it shouldn’t be a huge task for the school. Due to our st udents’ caliber, we demand it. St udents at the Universit y of Florida get t wo reading days and st udents at Yale get slightly less than a week. W hy are we not treated the same as these st udents? Next semester, we absolutely need more reading days.

OPINION

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

CULTURE

Democratic Primary debates are the key to beating Trump in 2020 When it comes to politics, the presidential elections tend to receive the most attention and response from American voters. While millions tune in to the debates toward the end of By Britny Sanchez the cycle, with a Contributing 2016 debate between Columnist President Trump and Hillary Clinton reaching an audience of 84 million viewers, the debates held prior to the primary elections don’t receive the same amount of acknowledgment. The most recent Democratic primary debate only drew in 6.6 million viewers, making it the least-watched of the five debates that have been aired on

television thus far. This lack of views has led to the question of whether or not these debates still serve a meaningful purpose in the election cycle. As an avid debate watcher and political junky, I will always argue that these debates are not given proper recognition. If Americans dedicated a bit more time to watching these candidates discuss prominent issues, we would have a better idea of who is truly right for the job of not only taking on President Trump next November, but of ultimately serving as our next president. With so many American Democrats feeling angry, frustrated and disillusioned with politics since Trump’s 2016 victory over Hillary Clinton, it’s crucial that we pay attention to these debates so that when the primary elections come around in a few months,

we know who will fare the best against President Trump in the presidential debates. Gauging the way that these candidates go head-to-head with each other serves as our first sign as to whether or not they’ll be able to take on that challenge. With Trump’s reputation of interrupting Hillary Clinton in the presidential debates four times as often as she interrupted him, marking a record of 35 times in 90 minutes, the Democrats need to choose a candidate who is going to be able to fight back without allowing Trump to sustain his objections. While these debates are not meant to be a verbal boxing ring, it is essential that Democrats elect someone who is not going to allow Trump to steal the floor wherever he feels it’s appropriate.

Without these Democratic primary debates, Democrat voters would not be able to see how their favorite candidate would stand against President Trump. It’s not just about finding a candidate who is likable and presidential, but one who is also capable of restoring these voters’ faith in politics. If the Democrats’ objective is to defeat Trump in November 2020, the first step to accomplishing that goal lies in these next six debates. From now until February and through June, Americans who want to see this desired outcome must keep up with these primary debates so that the chosen candidate gives Democrats the best chance at taking back the presidency. Britny Sanchez is a senior majoring in political science.

COMMUNITY

Netflix really shouldn’t worry about Disney+ After slowly dragging all of their content off of streaming ser vices such as Netflix and Hulu for the past year or so, it was huge news that Disney was announcing its own streaming By Jarrod ser vice. Ever yone Houseknecht star ted asking the Contributing question of whether Columnist Netflix should be worr ying about the largest media company coming for its brand. Tr uthfully, Netflix shouldn’t worr y. Netflix paved the way for ever yone else in the streaming industr y. Hulu, Prime, HBO and now Disney+ should all be thanking Netflix for breaking the ground and star ting the empire that is television and film streaming. This competition between ser vices is all one big game of follow the leader, and Netflix is that leader. Netflix has mastered creating its own original content as well. It seems like ever y time I log on there’s another original film or television series being

promoted. I could never picture myself giving up Netflix’s original series such as “Stranger Things.” Music powerhouses have been tur ning to Netflix to pump out new content. Beyonce and Cardi B have used Netflix to premiere new shows and documentaries in the past year. Beyonce’s “Homecoming” was one of the largest musical events of the year, and critics raved about both the documentar y and Beyonce’s performance. “Rhythm and Flow,: the television series that Cardi B has been starring in has been hailed by critics as the “American Idol” for rap. The company’s original content is huge. Netflix has racked up one of the most impressive collections of accolades for a streaming series that just debuted this decade. From Academy Awards to Guild Awards to Golden Globes, Netflix has it all. It has collected a whopping 280 Emmy nominations, with 94 wins for standout shows such as “Orange Is the New Black,” “Black Mirror,” and “Stranger Things.” This is all just from recent years, as Netflix only introduced streaming media this decade. Sure, awards

don’t mean ever ything, but that’s an impressive feat for anyone and proves how monumental of a ser vice it is. Disney+ might have the appeal of a great deal of nostalgia, given that the company produced some of the television shows and movies that defined our childhood. Netflix has already tackled that problem. In recent months, Netflix has reached an agreement with other children’s networks, and they have been uploading content from Nickelodeon and Car toon Network. I couldn’t get on Twitter for the past month without seeing someone talking about “Victorious,” which was just added to Netflix, and I am definitely not complaining. If Netflix releases “Drake & Josh,” “iCarly,” “Zoey 101” or “The Amanda Show,” you can bet I am having a huge streaming par ty with all of my friends. Disney+ currently maintains a lower price than Netflix. However, this is likely because there is a lack of content on there in comparison to competitors such as Netflix. As Disney uploads more of its content to the ser vice, it can be expected that the price will go

up, creating no monetar y difference between either ser vice. There are still technological pros to keeping Netflix as the dominant streaming ser vice. It is undeniable that Netflix’s user interface is the best of any of its competitors. Netflix also allows users to download content for offline viewing, which other ser vices do not currently allow. None of this is meant to say that Disney+ will not be madly successful. Disney is a brand that’s vir tually unstoppable, and its new ser vice is already a craze for anyone who is a fan of film and television. I have already found myself watching the platform with friends to see some of the shows that star ted our obsessions with the biggest celebrities of today, including Miley Cyr us and the Jonas Brothers. Only time can tell which ser vice will tr uly take the industr y by storm, but one thing is clear: Netflix is currently far too powerful to be taken out by anyone. Jar rod Houseknecht is a sophomore majoring in communication studies and public advocac y.

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

OPINION

CULTURE

Advice for white people meeting their partner’s black family this holiday season There are few things more stressful during the holiday season than meeting your par tner’s family for the first time. That stress only intensifies for interracial couples. There is a good By Jordan Lewis amount of reading Edge Editor available on the inter net detailing how white people can suppor t their par tners of color at family gatherings (and rightfully so, since the concer ns range from simply remembering names to dealing with microagg ressions to wondering if your future in-laws are full blown bigots). But what about the other way around? While being white is in no way a hindrance in life, being white in a room full of your black par tner’s family members (who are more than likely side-eyeing you) for the first time can be, at the ver y least, uncomfor table. So, what is the best way to go about making your first impression, your best impression? The first step is always an honest and open conversation with your guy, gal or non-binar y pal. Ask about the things outside of your control. What is their family like? What are their expectations of a significant other, and do they have a histor y or giving said significant other the third deg ree? Do they know that you are...of the fairer-skinned kind? This applies to all relationships, not just interracial. Your par tner should be your number one fan, your biggest

suppor ter– meaning they should always be in the business of preparing your for whatever life may throw at you (within reason, of course). Now, onto the things you can control. You have exactly five minutes after walking in to get over the initial discomfor t of being the only white person in the room. Why, you may ask? This may a first for you, but this phenomenon (being in a room where no one else looks like you) is guaranteed to be something your par tner has experienced before. It is okay to feel ner vous, scared and a bit shy, but leave it at that. Put your big girl/big guy panties on and power through, because the weirder you make it, the weirder it will be for ever yone. And take this as a miniscule introduction to the things your par tner of color deals with ever y day. Even before fully processing the initial shock, this next step is ver y impor tant. While this is probably advice no one has ever had to give you, especially in the case of white men in par ticular (because they tend to do it naturally, unapologetically and a bit annoyingly), now is the time: walk in as if you have ever y right to be there. Exude confidence, because black families can be br utal. Once they sense a hint of fear of discomfor t, you will never hear the end of it. This is usually not done in a mean or agg ressive way, but black families are the kings and queens of roasting. And if you do not have the skillset to give it back 10 times harder, save yourself the trouble. Senior Mikayla Telasco compares

it to the 2005 movie “Guess Who” starring Ashton Kutcher and Ber nie Mac. If you have not seen it, she recommends doing so, but either way, Telasco suggests, “Don’t come off too soft. Be asser tive, because they will tease.” This next tidbit is usually common cour tesy for the first time meeting anyone, but just in case: steer clear of politics. Bringing things like religion and who you voted for in the last election up early on in the relationship is a sure-fire way to cause chaos and arguments in which no one ever wins. And in this case in par ticular, you already have all eyes on you. So, do not make it any harder. This includes adding in comments you think make you sound “woke,” because there is nothing more cringe wor thy than a white person tr ying too hard to prove they are not a “regular” white person. Even worse, in your quest to sound more culturally aware than you actually are, you are bound to slip up and say something at least the slightest bit problematic. So, tread lightly, and realize that, probably for the first time, your opinion is not going to be the default, nor will it always be the one that is needed at the time. Lastly– and this is said with complete and utter respect and kindness– do not bring food if you cannot cook. That means that someone other than you has confirmed that you are indeed the next Paula Dean (minus the n-word scandal and casual racism). This may seem like a low blow or a play on the ever so popular “white people

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don’t season their food” joke, but in this case, it is tr uly in your best interest. Food is integ ral to the black culture and experience. It is often an oppor tunity to show love and fellowship, and well, bringing in a casserole made of all the random food left in your pantr y is bound to upset the natural order of things. You do not want to become a viral Twitter meme. See Niall Horan’s 2017 unseasoned turkey debacle to clear up any confusion. If you absolutely know your food is good, go for it. That is the perfect way to get your foot in the door. Otherwise, there is no shame in picking up some f lowers or a store bought desser t. It will save you the embarrassment and the family the pain of having to pretend it tastes good...or worse, hur ting your feelings. Lastly, be yourself. Black people are just people, and you should never have to change who you are in order to be with the person you love. Disclaimer: I am not a racial theorist nor a relationship exper t (hence, why I am a long term member of the single women’s club)– just a black woman doing some holiday charity by helping white people not embarrass themselves. Fur thermore, keep in mind that all families are not the same. There will never be any one-size-fits-all, sure-fire way to impress your par tner’s family, no matter the color. All of that is to say– take this advice with a g rain of salt.

EDGE

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

MUSIC

10 modern pop, Christmas bops you need on your holiday playlist By Jarrod Houseknecht, Staff Writer With Christmas just around the corner, it is time to turn up the speakers and bring in the holidays with the best seasonal jams. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, but having to reuse the same selection of old, overplayed songs from the 1900s isn’t the most wonderful thing. In order to decorate that Christmas playlist with extra spice, here’s some hidden holiday tracks from this decade that may have flown under your radar.

“Hey Sis, It’s Christmas” – RuPaul and Markaholic

Grab your sisters and get down to this bop right now, because it’s infectious. In an explosion of fierce and joyous dancepop, RuPaul shows you how to death drop into the New Year.

“Cozy Little Christmas” – Katy Perry A rather lighthearted track, Perry aims to make listeners smile on “Cozy Little Christmas.” Grab a flannel blanket and fuzzy socks and turn on your favorite holiday movie, because Perry didn’t lie when she said this song was cozy.

“At Christmas” – Kylie Minogue

Like Santa on his sleigh, Minogue is here to give us a delightful present in the form of pop perfection. Sticking to her diva style, she serves up everything you could want in this perky, holiday original.

“Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” – Miley Cyrus and Mark Ronson

Another song that’s been performed countless times, Cyrus proves why she has one of the best covers. On a track meant to empower and bring people together, her voice sounds tougher than ever as she belts out impressive high notes.

“Merry Xmas” – Fetty Wap and Monty

“Christmas in New Orleans” – John Legend

A merry and festive ode to trap life and his gang, this song is pretty much everything anyone could ask for in a holiday song. Fetty is here to show us that no matter how hard the rapper may seem, the Christmas spirit is infectious for anyone.

2019’s sexiest man alive brings the jazz flare of New Orleans into the holiday season with this groovy selection. This track will sound perfect in your kitchen as you whip up some of gingerbread cookies and a hot drink.

“Oh Santa!” – Mariah Carey

The queen of Christmas is back with another upbeat and warm holiday track for your party this winter break. Although Carey might never be able to recreate the career-defining “All I Want for Christmas is You,” this track is at least another fun, poppy song to enjoy with a glass of eggnog in hand.

“It’s Not Christmas Without You” – Victoria Justice/Victorious Cast “Victorious” definitely had some hot tracks that defined our childhood, so why not throw it back with another one of the show’s upbeat bops? This one is so merry it’s sure to bring back some of your favorite childhood holiday memories.

“Christmas in Harlem” – Kanye West, CyHi The Prince and Teyana Taylor

Everyone knows Christmas in the city is gorgeous, and this trio captured the sensation of an NYC Christmas on this critically-acclaimed track. Between West’s icy flow and Taylor’s smooth hook, you can just feel the Manhattan snowfall on its way.

“Glittery” – Kacey Musgraves & Troye Sivan The Kacey Musgraves Christmas Show truly didn’t disappoint, and an appearance by Lana was much appreciated. With a stripped-down cover of the classic song, both stars encompass the warmth and happiness of the holiday season.

Photo Source: Spotify

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

MUSIC

EDGE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

The 2010s: Recounting a decade of iconic music By Jordan Lewis Edge Editor

2019 is wrapping up, bringing with it the end of an iconic decade of music that won’t be easily replaced. The past ten years brought with it everything from the holy trinity of pop

music (Kesha, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga), the era of Rihanna and Beyonce, the resurgence of female rappers and, of course, Taylor Swift. They brought us unforgettable hits such as Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep,” Pink’s “So What,” Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite,” Lorde’s “Royals,” Pharrell’s

MUSIC

by the

terribly overplayed “Happy” and even Robin Thicke’s controversial “Blurred Lines.” They brought dance crazes that were popularized by platforms such as Youtube— including 2012’s “Gangnam Style” and 2013’s “Harlem Shake.” And, they ushered in a new generation of flippy-haired pop-stars such

as Justin Bieber and equally as flippy-haired boy bands such as One Direction. The 2010s completely redefined the music industry. When the decade began, spots on Billboard’s coveted charts were based solely on album sales, download sales and radio airplay. That quickly changed

Songs by Total Weeks at #1 (on Billboard’s Hot 100)

NUMBERS

With 2019 quickly coming to a close and 2020 beginning a new decade, let us take a look inside the top songs, artists and albums of the past 10 years.

‘Official’ Christmas Anthem by State: (based on the top trending songs from 2016)

Most Popular Streaming Services, Worldwide in 2018 (by monthly users, in Millions)

Apple Music, 49.5

Soundcloud, 34.2

Spotify, 47.7

Pandora, 36.8

as consumers bought less and streamed more. Soon, most music charts followed suit. Simply put, this decade in music is one we won’t soon forget. And with it coming to close, The Miami Hurricane thought it necessary to take a look back at the songs, artists and albums that defined it.

Most Globally Streamed on Spotify 1. Drake 2. Ed Sheeran 3. Eminem 4. The Weeknd 5. Rihanna 6. Kanye West 7. Coldplay 8. Justin Bieber 9. Calvin Harris 10. Ariana Grande

Best Selling Albums by Year, Worldwide 2010: Eminem, “Recovery” 2011: Adele, “21” 2012: Adele, “21” 2013: Justin Timberlake, “The 20/20 Experience” 2014: Taylor Swift, “1989” 2015: Adele, “25” 2016: Drake, “Views” 2017: Ed Sheeran, “÷” 2018: Drake, “Scorpion” 2019: TBD Sources: billboard.com, spotify.com, statista.com Photo: freepik.com Design by Jordan Lewis

12 SPORTS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

WOMEN’S BASKETBALL

Photo courtesy UM women’s basketball

THANKSGIVING TRIUMPH: The Hurricanes celebrate their Saturday win over the Redhawks at the Watsco Center.

Miami loses and wins big in Thanksgiving tournament By Kayson Davis and Sydney Boyo Contributing Writers

While students were at home feasting on Thanksgiving leftovers, the women’s basketball team hosted a tournament at the Watsco Center this past weekend. On Friday, the Hurricanes lost their second game in a row, 75-53 to seventh-ranked Oregon State. “I didn’t see an A effort tonight,” said head coach Katie Meier after the loss “it needed to be an A effort mentally; it needed to be an A effort with discipline. I think discipline was the biggest issue tonight.” Miami struggled for most of the night, finishing the game shooting only 35.2 percent from the field and 15 percent from the three-point range. Redshirt senior Beatrice Mompremier led the Canes with 13 points and seven rebounds. Endia Banks also added 12 points. Mompremier and Banks were

the only two Miami players to score in double digits. “We didn’t enforce our will on them,” Banks said. “We had no heart and no desire to come back.” It was a slow start to the game for Miami, as they scored only 11 points and turned the ball over five times in the first quarter. Miami kept the score close, but the Beavers held the lead for most of the quarter. Oregon State scored the last four points of the quarter to take a seven-point lead into the second quarter. Miami came out strong to start the second quarter, using a 9-3 run to cut the lead to three with 5:37 remaining in the half, but the Beavers hit their next three three-pointers and went on 13-3 run to take a 10 point lead. Miami ended the half making two free throws to cut the lead to 3628 at halftime. Oregon State continued their hot

shooting in the third quarter, hitting their first three three-pointers, while Miami only made three of their 13 shots in the quarter. The Beavers ended the quarter shooting 57.1 percent from the field and 55.6 percent from three-pointer range. Miami went zero for four from the three-point range in the quarter and shot just 23.1 percent from the field. Miami went into the fourth quarter trailing by 18 points. “I think the start of the third quarter was very inflating. There was a lack of focus,” Meier said. “We took two crazy, horrible shots and then didn’t defend to the scout on the back end and that was nine points right there. It seems like at that point we just wasn’t smart enough to chip away.” The Beavers held on to their double-digit lead for the rest of the game as Miami’s defense continued to struggle to get stops in the fourth quarter.

“I think on the defensive end we just didn’t play hard at all,” Banks said. On Saturday, the Hurricanes defeated the Miami (Ohio) RedHawks 80-62 to end their two game losing streak and regain some much needed confidence after the 22-point blowout to Oregon State. The offensive was led by Mompremier, who scored 13 points in just 15 minutes of play. Mompremier continues to lead the ACC as one of the best forwards in the nation. In a win that was definitely a team effort, the bench played a key role in sealing the game. The Canes scored 40 points off the bench and for the first time this season every player on the roster scored. Junior guard Taylor Mason put up 10 points and freshman guard Kenza Salgues recorded her first career basket as a Hurricane. “The most important thing is

that everybody was concerned about the Miami Hurricanes,” Meier said after the game. “They all just wanted to give to their teammates and we really cheered and supported our way through the game.” Freshman center Sydnee Roby post a career-high 11 points, the first time she scored double digits as a Cane. Jamir Huston, who Meier described as an Energizer bunny, reeled in 13 rebounds. The RedHawks fought back hard, with freshman Peyton Scott scoring a career-high 18 points and guard Bree Paulson putting up 12 points. However, with 52 of 62 points coming from its starting five, it was clear the team couldn’t match the talent on the Cane’s bench. Miami will continue their nonconference play on Dec. 4 at the Watsco Center, as the team looks to upset the 17th-ranked Indiana Hoosiers.

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

SPORTS 13

FOOTBALL COMMENTARY

Miami football ends embarrassing season with loss at Duke By Isabella Didio Sports Editor

They started the season 0-2 for the first time since 1978. They suffered one of the worst losses in program history to FIU. For the first time ever, they lost to Duke for the second consecutive season. Miami did not make any progress this season. They regressed. Manny Diaz and his staff finished his first regular season as head coach with a 6-6 record, the first since 2014, and the third six-loss season Miami has had in the past six years. Losing to FIU and Duke in the same season should not be acceptable for a program that has won five national championships and was once sitting at the top of the college football kingdom. Someone has to be held accountable for the countless mistakes the program has made this season and Manny Diaz should be at the top of the list. One of Diaz’s biggest faults even before the season began was the hiring of offensive coordinator Dan Enos and defensive coordinator Blake Baker. Enos has done an insufficient job at calling an offense that has so much talent and potential. Baker inherited some of the most dominant defensive players in the country, and he coached the defense to a 30-point loss to FIU. “That is not something that at this moment I am prepared to think about,” Diaz said about changes being made to his coaching staff after the Duke

Jared Lennon // Photo & Visuals Editor

SOMBER STANCE: Manny Diaz participates in the alma mater following the loss to Virginia Tech on Oct. 5.

game. “We have to change the way that we are playing. Now there is a lot of things that go into how that happens. As you get through the year and you step back and you look at the entirety of the year, you evaluate your staff and you evaluate anything in your program.” Talent is either something you have or you don’t, and quarterback Jarren Williams showed how talented he is when he threw six touchdowns against Louisville. So then why can’t Miami maintain consistent

quarterback play for more than two games? Is it the offensive line, play-calling, poor practice or just an overall mentality problem throughout the whole program. Diaz has reiterated countless times throughout the season that the culture of the team needs to be changed. “It is about building a culture of sustained excellence, and I can’t sit here today and act like we’re any closer to that than we were nine months ago,” Diaz said in a press conference two

days after Miami’s loss to FIU. “But in terms of establishing and laying the groundwork and foundation of that, those things are going on right now, and we’ve seen that.” After the loss to Duke Saturday night, Diaz emphasized that the effort is there from his players, but the lack of execution was the fatal flaw. “I’m proud of the way that we competed and I’m proud of our effort. However, our issues are obvious,” Diaz said. “It is simply our ability to execute that

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gave us no chance to win this football game. When you look at 13 completions out of 35 pass attempts and you throw in nine sacks on top of that, our passing game—we had no chance.” If talent is not an issue and effort is not an issue, then it sounds like coaching is the issue. The inconsistency and lack of preparedness that the Miami football team exhibited all season is something that is so below the standard of the program, it’s embarrassing and has to be changed.

14 SPORTS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

VOLLEYBALL

Hurricanes volleyball hoping to end season on a positive note By Kayson Davis Contributing Writer

In a season filled with adversity, accomplishments and some surprises, the 2019 Hurricanes volleyball team has a lot they can learn from this season. Miami finished their season at 10-16 (6-9 in ACC) The Canes will miss the postseason for the second consecutive season, but that didn’t stop them from using their last few games to build momentum for next season. “We are working on talking about new things, different things so individually we are growing, as a team we are growing,” head coach Jose “Keno” Gandara said. “Just learning stuff you have to do during the season in the ACC. A lot of teams were more mature than us this year and that’s been tough.” Miami lost outside hitter Chloe Brown in the offseason last year when she announced that she would be transferring to Oregon State. Brown was expected to be one of Miami best players this season. Miami also lost multiple returning players to season ending injuries, including Cameron Dobbs and Bridget Wallenberger. Gandara said it’s been tough to lose them but likes how they are

contributing in other ways. “It’s always tough to see them going through that, but they have been unbelievable. They are working really hard on their task, which is recovery. They are ahead of schedule,” Gandara said. “They’ve been a big part by how much they support and how much they are learning from the sidelines. They just been a great addition by subtraction. We lost them as players, but they have been a really good support group for the freshman.” These injuries have forced Miami to rely on a slew of freshmen this season. The freshmen have shown tremendous growth as the season has progressed, most notably leading Miami to a victory over Syracuse, but the lack of experience has hurt the team overall. “They are young players that are learning fast and they have to learn in the heat of the battle,” Gandara said “We’re really proud of them, how they are doing, what they are working on and how much they have improved, but it’s tough being a freshman in college volleyball or in any sport. I think the jump from high school to college is a big jump and they have done a pretty good job managing it. There is a lot

of them out there and it’s not like they have some seniors out there helping them.” Freshman outside hitter Kennedy Prince has played well for Miami in her first season with the team. She has a total of 265 kills this season, including a career high 18 kills against Auburn earlier this season. Prince believes that she and her fellow freshman teammates have learned a lot from this season that will help them for next season. “We are a pretty young team, so I feel like we are going to grow a lot,” Prince said. “I think we can be better next year because of the experience we got this year.” The season did bring some accomplishment for Miami. Gandara moved into second place on Miami’s all-time wins list after a win over Wake Forest earlier in the season and freshman setter Savannah Vach was named ACC freshmen of the week late in September. Prince finished the season ranked second place for most kills by a freshman in Miami history. Miami hopes the experience they gain from this season, plus getting some key players back from injuries will help the Canes return to the postseason next year.

2019 Season Review in Numbers

10-16 overall record 6-12 conference record Jared Lennon // Photo & Visuals Editor

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

V’S TAKE

How to schedule a d*ck appointment Dear V, There is this guy I used to hook up with a lot in the beginning of fall, and the sex was incredible. Between studying for exams and going home for breaks, we haven’t been getting busy as much as I’d like to. How do I reconnect with him for some finals week stress relief ? Sincerely, Horny and Stressed

Have a question for V? Email

dearv@themiamihurricane.com.

Dear Horny and Stressed, Being college students means we must keep track of appointments our parents used to handle, whether it be academic advising or visits to the health center. However, there is a type of appointment that your mom definitely should not be involved with. This appointment won’t lead you to frantically

rearrange your class schedule in the spring and won’t end in finding out you have meningitis. You are going to have to schedule a dick appointment. With exam season in full swing, there is no time for games. A dick appointment is the most efficient and direct way in getting the action you so desperately crave. Simply craft a text that states, “I would like to make a dick appointment. What time works best for you?” I myself have a clit appointment scheduled this weekend with someone I met over fall break. Our first encounter was in St. Augustine, and her vagina is the only Fountain of Youth worth revisiting. There are no mixed signals regarding what’s going down, and it’s incredibly refreshing. There are many reasons I stand behind the dick appointment. It promotes

direct communication, which has unfortunately become a lost art form. Since you already have an established sexual relationship, there is no reason for him to find the message weird or unexpected. Get inspired by Art Basel this weekend and make your pussy the exhibit. Once the time and location is arranged, there is nothing more to do than look forward to that much needed study break. This will also give you some time to channel your inner sex goddess and make sure your genitals aren’t looking like the arboretum. Just text him. I promise you won’t be dickappointed. Best, V

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

December 3, 2019 - January 21, 2020

' RESUME BUILDER// WORK EXPERIENCE // MAKE MONEY

The Miami Hurricane is looking for hardworking individuals to join our sales team for the 2019-20 academic year.

austin@themiamihurricane.com for more information, contact: