The Miami Hurricane: October 1, 2019

Vol. 97, Issue 6 | October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

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GUILTY OR INNOCENT? UM WEIGHS IN ON IMPEACHMENT NEWS // Pages 8-9 Austin Lent // Art Director

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NEWS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

COMMUNITY

Gandhi Day provides students opportunity to give back

By Amir Mahmoud Staff Writer

Gandhi Day is the largest day of service at the University of Miami. With a yearly average of about 400 students, Gandhi Day has impacted the lives of many in South Florida for 17 years.

Meghana Chapalamadugu, a senior majoring in neuroscience, and James Lai, a junior majoring in biomedical engineering, are the co-chairs of Gandhi Day. They are tasked with leading the organization and ensuring that everything runs smoothly.

“My role is really to take a backseat; however, my team is the most important thing, and without them, I couldn’t do anything,” Lai said.

On Sept.

28, student volunteers went to 14 different sites to volunteer their time for the community surrounding UM. These sites included elementary schools, women’s shelters, public parks and beaches.

According to Ajiri Uzere, a sophomore political science and psychology major who volunteered this year for the

event day committee. “Even if you just go to a park and do some work there, it gives you a sense of appreciation for what the city has to offer,” she said.

“People come back, and they’re dead tired, but you can just see and sense that they’re happy to spend their day giving back,” said Muria.

Shrey Patel, a political science and communications sophomore, was a site leader for the first time this year. According to him, Gandhi Day hopes to “foster a passion for civic engagement and service.”

Gandhi Day usually falls around Mahatma Gandhi’s birthday––Oct. 2. Gandhi was a champion for service, civic engagement and peace and today, still serves as an example to the rest of the world.

“He had a sense of civic duty that inspired his life,” said Chapalamadugu. “He would do things to inspire but also take care of his fellow citizens.

As UM students, we have an obligation to the community we live in and anyway we can help it we should.”

“As people who are privileged, as people who have the ability to do something, it’d be nice if we did.”

Ajiri Uzere, sophomore first time, all of the different sites have different effects on the volunteers.

“A lot of students when they come to the University of Miami think Miami is so glamorous, but they don’t realize that there are a lot of areas of Miami that aren’t rich,” said junior Albany Muria, a political science major who served this year on Gandhi Day’s

Pre-med freshman Sebastian Khairkhahan, majoring in music, said, “Giving back to the community is one of my passions.

I’ve been involved in community service for my entire life, as long as I can remember.”

Khairkhahan volunteered at the Lotus House, a shelter in Historic Overtown for women who have been domestically

For more news coverage, visit themiamihurricane.com

CREATIVE COLORING: Junior Noor Khaled works with a young boy to create arts and crafts during the Gandhi Day of Service.

Natalia Rovira// News Editor

abused. During his time there, he entertained the children of some of these women who were preparing for a dance that took place that night.

“I love working with kids.

It’s really important to create a strong community,” he said.

Uzere helped clean up the shores of Bill Baggs beach in Key Biscayne. She spent the day picking up bits of plastic and litter that were buried in the sand and seaweed with other volunteers.

She said, “As people who are privileged, as people who have the ability to do something, it’d be nice if we did.”

Ashley Chapelle, a senior triple majoring in criminology, sociology and Spanish, was another site leader this year.

“I would like for us to see that with all of the different sites we are able to go to and impact in one day, it doesn’t only have to Natalia Rovira // News Editor be one day, this can be something SAND SANITATION: A group of UM volunteers walk down a beach and pick up littered pieces of trash along the way. we do on the regular,” she said.

TECHNOLOGY

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

NEWS

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Lula carshare app makes its relaunch debut at UM

By Emmalyse Brownstein Contributing News Writer

Lula, a car sharing app that enables university students to rent their cars to each other, is relaunching with UM as its focus campus.

“Think Airbnb, but for cars,” said Michael Vega-Sanz, one of the co-founders of Lula. VegaSanz and his twin brother Matthew grew up in Miami.

The idea for Lula came about late one evening about two years ago while the twins were attending Babson College, a business school near Boston. One night, they had a craving for a slice of their favorite pizza but couldn’t order food delivery service to their remote campus location.

“I was sitting in my dorm starving, looking at all the cars in the parking lot not being used,” said Vega-Sanz. “I said to myself, ‘Wouldn’t it be cool if I could rent from another student to get the pizza?’”

And thus, Lula was born.

Here’s how it works: Lula shows customers available cars, rented by the hour or the day. One click and the owner meets the renter to hand over the keys. After the rental period, renters replace the gas they’ve used before returning the car to the original meeting point.

Aryanna Peters, a freshman in the business school, was among the first UM students to try Lula. Last Friday, she rented a car for a day to run errands with a few friends.

“I had a very positive experience,” Peters said. “Michael from Lula was very helpful, so I wasn’t really worried going into it.

I would do it again.”

A car rental is usually about $7-$12 an hour and $30-$60 a day. There are no underage, membership or insurance fees. Car owners set their own rental rates and rentals are 100 percent insured

by Lula.

“Depending on the severity of an accident, the renter may be required to pay a deductible. For the car owner, their car is fullyinsured for all damages and there

is no deductible,” said Manoj Aggarwal, the Lula head of marketing.

Cars for rent on Lula must be newer than 2005 and have less than 125,000 miles on their odometers. Upon creating a profile, users submit their driver’s license and go through a vetting process. Within 24 hours, most users will be approved to begin using the platform, the company said. Approval for international students will take about 48 hours.

The twins started out renting between friends at Babson.

Students, professors and administrators from schools like MIT, Notre Dame College and FIU began requesting Lula’s service on their campuses, too. The Lula app launched in September of 2018 and soared onto the app store’s “Top 100” list after just eight days.

“We had our share of growing pains,” said Vega-Sanz.

The founders struggled to meet customer service needs and match cars over wide areas while running Lula on their own.

In order to meet demand, Lula’s approach and app design has since gotten a face lift. “We are now taking a campus-by-campus approach,” Vega-Sanz said. “We want to make sure the platform is a much better customer experience.”

The University of Miami will be Lula’s first and only operating campus this year as the company focuses on establishing its marketplace. A dozen designers, technicians and marketers operate out of a new office located in Sunset Place, right across the street from UM. Lula has also hired six student brand ambassadors and is organizing partnerships with greek life organizations.

According to the company, UM is an ideal relaunch location because it’s a repeatable model that can be scaled for large schools once Lula is ready to expand.

For freshmen and other students without cars, Lula could be an alternative to other car sharing services.

“Uber is like seven dollars or more to go to one place,” said

Nicole Gueriero, a freshman living in Stanford Residential College.

“With this, you could go to more than one place in the hour for a similar price.”

Richard Sobaram, executive director of parking and transportation at UM, said students should do their research first. According to him, Lula has not officially contacted university administration about their services.

“We at the university have an official business relationship with Zipcar because we have vetted them through our risk management and our legal process to make sure they meet all the legal and insurance requirements,” Sobaram said.

Sobaram fears students who live on-campus and rent out their cars could run into issues. It is against university policy to run a business out of a dorm room.

“I don’t know enough about this to say students should or shouldn’t use it,” said Sobaram.

“I would just say buyer beware. Make sure you check everything out first.”

He also advised Lula to work with university administration before it engages in business on UM’s campus. To Sobaram, this service may be better for students outside the residential colleges.

Jenny Hudak, a senior majoring in media management, had a similar thought. She keeps her car near campus and sees potential in Lula.

“My car doesn’t get much use other than when I run errands or go eat with friends,” she said.

“For most of my school day, I’m within walking distance.”

Lula is looking for more car owners to use the platform and be a part of their “pilot program.”

To start off, car owners will get to keep 100 percent of their rental income.

This program will help car owners navigate the rental process, teach them to maximize their earnings and encourage feedback that could help the company improve. Car owners will be paid

$15 per hour during the training, get a $15 bonus the first time they rent out their cars and receive $25 when they recommend another car owner to the program.

“Our goal right now is not to make money; our goal is to build a brand. UM is our marketplace.”

Aggarwal said. “Not only is it extra cash, but [users] get the inside scoop of a start-up, and learn some business and marketing as well.”

After six months, Lula will switch back to its normal rate of 75 percent earnings for car owners.

Students interested can email pilot@lularides.com with any questions about the program.

Lula creators see a future in student transportation far beyond cars. They have visions of a rental system of bicycles, scooters and more all on a single platform.

“Steve Jobs used to describe the iPod as having a thousand songs in your pocket.” Vega-Sanz said. “We like to describe the future of Lula as having millions of cars, bikes and scooters in your pocket.”

Emmalyse Brownstein // Contributing News Writer

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NEWS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

STUDENT LIFE

From campus tours to coral reefs: UM leaps into virtual reality

By Leena Yumeen Contributing News Writer

The third floor of the Richter Library is now a launchpad that allows students to travel far from the building’s rows of books and computers. Participants can explore coral reefs and battle intergalactic warriors, all without leaving campus. How? Through the power of virtual reality.

Magic Leap, a spatial computing tech giant, has partnered with UM to integrate virtual reality technology into campus life. The university now offers several Magic Leap virtual reality sets for student use.

VR lenses include applications that range from educational tools to video games for entertainment.

The main application, “U Experience,” which was created by UM faculty, projects a 360 degree holographic model of campus.

The model realistically carves out each physical feature of the university, from the Shalala Student Center to the residential colleges.

Nick Tsinoremas, the executive producer of the U Experience virtual reality program, said this was no easy feat.

“We had to have drones with cameras flying all over the campus.

And then [we used] lighters, which

are instruments that project light and basically map the whole campus,” Tsinoremas said. Just this first step in the development of the program took the project team a month to complete.

The aim of this intensive three-dimensional mapping was to create a virtual landscape that could be viewed from all sides. The U Experience application allows viewers to peer across, behind and through many of the on-campus buildings. This level of movement and interaction is what the U Experience team aimed to offer its users.

The basis of the software is referred to as “spatial computing.”

In contrast to the typical stationary interaction between humans and computers, spatial computing aims to elicit movement from the user. Rather than interact with a two dimensional screen, the U Experience application forces the viewer to move through the various planes projected by the Magic Leap device.

“Where currently the user experience is to sit and watch the computer change, in spatial computing, the human changes and the computer changes at the same time based on the space,” Tsinoremas said.

Many of those who tried

Jared Lennon // Staff Photographer GAME-CHANGING GOGGLES: Daniel Benayoun, an employee at Richter Library, demonstrates the virtual-reality headset.

the program agree that they are compelled by its ability to shift according to the user’s motion.

“It was way more interactive than I thought it was going to be,” said Natalie Benaypun, a graduate student in the School of Law, after

Jared Lennon // Staff Photographer PAIRED UP: Magic Leap, a spatial computing tech giant, has partnered with the University of Miami to integrate virtual reality technology into campus life.

using the device.

Students who have not yet tried the program are also intrigued by its premise.

After learning about UExperience, Ethan Ford, a student in the Frost School of Music said, “This school is really with the times, and that’s one of the reasons I came here. The university is really modern.”

Tsinoremas and his team aim to continue to develop the program, remaining on the forefront of the technological revolution. While the projected map currently shows only stationary objects and buildings, the U Experience team will soon develop ways to show the campus activity in realtime. “[It’s] is a little too static for now, so we want to make it a lot more interactive with real time data actually feeding the application,” said Tsinoremas. This includes tracking and integrating the motion of shuttles, students and cars. Tsinoremas said the program may eventually allow users to take

a virtual tour through the Frost School of Music and listen to an orchestra playing in realtime.

Although this is just the first iteration of the program, Tsinoremas said he believes that this preliminary glimpse into what virtual reality can do could serve as an inspiration to students, faculty and visitors alike. The program reflects a collaboration between a breadth of graduate and undergraduate UM students, as well as university faculty. From script writers to computer scientists and even theater majors, the program represents a collaborative effort between multiple disciplines.

Consequently, Tsinoremas said he hopes the program will trigger students’ interest in new technologies and reveal the scope of extracurricular possibilities available to them on campus.

“No matter what major you are, I want students to think that they can see themselves being part of an effort like this,” Tsinoremas said.

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

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THEMIAMIHURRICANE

OPINION

The Miami

HURRICANE Founded 1929

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The Miami Hurricane is published weekly during the regular academic year and is edited and produced by undergraduate students at the University of Miami. The publication does not necessarily represent the views and opinions of advertisers or the university’s trustees, faculty or administration. Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of The Miami Hurricane’s Editorial Board.

Commentaries, letters and cartoons represent only the views of their respective authors. The newsroom and business office of The Miami Hurricane are located in the Student Activities Center, Student Media Suite 200.

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October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

Opinion EDITORIAL

Making the best out of living with roommates We are a month into undoubtedly suffer if our home are emailing us about right Even though most of UM’s the school year and by now, lives are unhealthy. It doesn’t now is probably a good idea. student population comes from everyone should be settled into matter if you’re five or 500 miles What is better than writing out of state, many students evade their housing accommodations. from home; everyone deserves to out all your boundaries on a random assignment and end Returning students are trying be comfortable. tangible document and having up pairing with someone they to gain their footing in their know or at least like. In this case, new living spaces but for many work still needs to be done to freshmen, this is probably their maintain a good relationship. A first time sharing a space with big misconception is that living another student. with your friend will be void of University life normalizes disagreements and struggles. living with a roommate, offering This is almost never the case. an opportunity for us to enrich We’ve seen best friends move our life by broadening our out because trying to coexist in perspectives through the eyes the same space is just too much. of someone else. And while Communication is key in all this is true for the most part, relationships, especially when the university left out one you’re sharing a living space. important part: It is not easy.

We can’t do much to change We have grossly underestimated the state of the dorms— the new the struggle of living with housing project is still under someone who is basically a construction— but we must stranger. Students come with do what we can to enrich our their different schedules and roommate experience. Who we ways of surviving, and to think If you are living with a it legitimized?

Roommate live with has a big impact on that it will magically mesh with roommate, you have to work agreements offer the space for our lives; a 2013 study published another student’s is unrealistic. on creating a good relationship. discussion on everything from in the Journal of Abnormal Add the reality of our tight- We know you may not want what temperature you prefer to Psychology followed nearly spaced, cramped, sometimes to hear it, but filling out the whether or not you’re okay with 1,000 former college roommates outdated dorms, and the roommate agreements our RAs having guests sleep over. over 10 years and found that situation escalates. women who had an That is probably eating disorder in why if you walk their early 30s were into the housing more likely to have office in Eaton, had college roommates you are guaranteed who frequently dieted. to see a student Roommates aren’t or two waiting to forever, but they are switch rooms or what we have to deal roommates. There is with right now. Put in no use in staying in a some effort and make room with someone sure everything works you hate or a space out for the best. that doesn’t suit you. It is a privilege to attend UM. But, Editorials represent as students, we the majority view of must feel secure.

The Miami Hurricane Source: UM Housing & Residential Life editorial board.

Our academic and personal lives will ROOMMATE RELATIONSHIP: The close quarters of Hecht and Stanford Residential Colleges can make dealing with a roommate difficult.

“If you are living with a roommate, you have to work on creating a good relationship.”

THEMIAMIHURRICANE

OPINION

October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

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HEALTH

Ban on vaping is reminiscent of war on drugs R e c e n t l y, a significant number of 18 to 24-yearolds have been hospitalized for mysterious lung illnesses related to e - c i g a r e t t e s,

By Jonathan Buckley and 12 have Staff Columnist died so far.

As a response, public opinion has shifted to a negative view of vaping, which was once viewed as a healthier alternative to cigarettes. Public officials are also pushing for restrictions and even outright bans of these devices. San

Francisco has already enacted such a measure, and other cities are considering following this path as well. There are even reports of former vape users switching to traditional cigarettes. So should these deadly devices be banned? Moreover, are people considering banning these devices before they ban cigarettes, which kill nearly half a million people each year?

Neither of these products should be banned. This moral panic resembles the hysteria our country experienced at the height of the war on drugs, which saw a fearful population calling for big government to eliminate drugs without

considering the consequences.

What resulted from that era should never happen again: increased violence in inner cities, an explosion of the illegal market and overcrowded prisons that burdened taxpayers and the families of thousands of men of color. Surprisingly, it’s some of the same progressive voices that criticize the war on drugs who are at the forefront of the proposed vaping ban (think San Francisco).

With e-cigarettes and Juuls, there is no doubt an illegal and even more unsafe market would be created because the ingredients are easy to order online. Due to vaping’s popularity, there will be

an immense demand for illegal copy cats. History has repeatedly shown that prohibition is rarely the best course of action.

Secondly, the whole scare is misguided. Why is there this much panic over 12 people dying in total from vaping when close to half a million die every year from traditional cigarettes?

Clearly, big tobacco is making the most of the scare. Also, it is important to consider that a good chunk of these illnesses come not from legitimate vape products but from counterfeit THC cartridges, which are crudely made compared to their counterparts in states with legal marijuana. Lastly, the

government doesn’t deserve the right to tell adults what they can and can’t put in their bodies, be it marijuana, alcohol or any type of cigarette, traditional or electric.

If there are genuinely unsafe chemicals in vape products that are creating the phenomenon we hear about on the news, of course, there should be some regulation. But this shouldn’t be an excuse to control people’s behavior based on hysteria.

Jonathan Buckley is a sophomore majoring in political science.

CULTURE

Shane Gillis’ SNL firing shows mishandling of offensive jokes A few weeks ago, Saturday Night Live announced that it would be firing newly-hired comedian

By David Gordon Shane Gillis after a Staff Columnist podcast clip went viral in which Gillis mocked Chinese accents and uses racial slur.

Gillis has since released a statement on the matter, writing, “I am a comedian who pushes boundaries. I sometimes miss. I’m happy to apologize to anyone who’s actually offended by anything I’ve said.”

Some found SNL’s decision to fire Gillis commendable while others viewed it as political correctness intruding on the art of comedy.

While Gillis’ hurtful language and weak apology make him a difficult person to defend, Gillis’ situation with SNL is just another example of how we fail to adequately deal with offensive language, especially in comedy.

Presidential candidate Andrew Yang expressed similar views on the topic.

Yang, who was one of the subjects of Gillis’ racial slur, came out in defense of Gillis, expressing his belief that Gillis should not have been fired from SNL.

Yang wrote on Twitter, “As a society, we have become unduly punitive and vindictive about people making statements that some find offensive or distasteful” and later saying, “I think that he deserved another chance to keep his job.” Yang even reached out to Gillis about meeting to discuss why Gillis’ jokes were hurtful.

While Yang does not represent the entirety of the Asian-American community, his response to Gillis’ antiAsian jokes offers a refreshingly nuanced approach to how we should deal with offensive language.

Giving people a second chance is not downplaying the pain that racially hurtful

language can cause, it is merely a recognition of the fact that we are all humans who say regrettable things.

As Yang put it, Gillis “does not strike me as malignant or evil. He strikes me as a stillforming comedian from central Pennsylvania who made some terrible and insensitive jokes and comments.”

For comedians, determining what constitutes edgy humor and what is legitimately hurtful is often difficult. And the boundaries of what topics are acceptable to joke about are constantly changing with time.

I’m not arguing that comedians should be exempt from the professional costs that come with using racial slurs. But

a lot of the outrage that comes from TV shows such as SNL is over the top and disingenuous.

If we are going to be able to progress as a society, there has to be some form of rehabilitation for those who have said offensive things. A sincere apology and proof of how one has changed should be enough to earn our forgiveness.

Continuing to boycott and shun those who have said stupid things will get us nowhere. When we are unable to distinguish between poor comedic taste and bigotry, we diminish the evil of genuine racism.

David Gordon is a sophomore majoring in business.

For more opinion columns, visit themiamihurricane.com

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NEWS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

NEWS 9

UM reacts to Trump impeachment inquiry: canes split over house investigation What is impeachment

By Rebecca Goddard Editor-in-Chief

University of Miami architecture student Andrey Nash was on the treadmill at the wellness center when the word “impeachment” jumped out of one of the television screens in front of him.

Nash, a Democrat, said he was stunned but also “kind of excited” to hear about the news. However, his excitement soon diminished.

“He’s gonna fight it,” Nash said, dismayed at the thought of Donald Trump remaining in power.

But not everyone had the same reaction.

Sophomore finance major Gustavo Alexanian is a registered Republican and a passionate Trump supporter.

He called the impeachment inquiry “another sad attempt to take down Trump.”

Varying viewpoints sprung up around UM’s campus last week after Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi announced that House Democrats would move forward with an official impeachment inquiry against Trump.

The inquiry follows the release of a whistleblower complaint, which accused the president of pressuring the Ukrainian president to investigate nowdebunked corruption claims against vice president Joe Biden and his son, Hunter.

In response to the report, the White House released an official transcript of the phone call between Trump

and Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky. The transcript, which did not contain any classified information, had been stored on a secret server.

In the call, Trump tells Zelensky, “I would like you to do us a favor,” and asked him to work with Attorney General William Barr and Trump’s lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, in investigating Joe Biden, who could be running against Trump in the 2020 presidential election.

Trump also reminded Zelensky that the United States has done a lot in the past to help Ukraine, which many Democrats say insinuates an illegal quid-pro-quo request.

Should Trump be impeached?

While some members of the UM community say the transcript is evidence of Trump abusing his presidential power, others say it doesn’t prove any wrongdoing.

“I don’t think we have enough information yet on whether impeachment is a necessary step or not,” said Micaela Stoner, the president of the UM College Republicans. “I don’t know if there is a quid pro quo or not, and if there is none, I will not be supporting impeachment.”

Alexanian agreed, saying, “There is nothing that anyone has that would be a strong enough case for impeachment.”

But others support the impeachment proceedings, including Democrat Redmond Willis, a senior

Donna Shalala pivots on impeachment

By Ben Estrada Managing Editor

majoring in political science and economics. Willis said Trump should be called out for his actions during the phone call with Zelensky.

“I believe that is a clear case of corruption and involving outside parties to undermine the very democracy that the U.S. strives to uphold,” he said.

Sam Terilli, a lawyer and the chairman of the Department Journalism and Media Management, said, although he needs more information to decide whether or not he supports impeachment, Trump’s words to the president of Ukraine were “very troubling.”

Terilli said he has no doubt that a formal impeachment inquiry is not only appropriate but necessary. If Congress walked away from this controversy without getting to the bottom of what the president tried to do, it would be a disservice to the American people, he said.

“The American public is entitled to the facts,” Terilli said. “This is not some silly reality television show, and the president doesn’t get to say or do whatever he wants – directly or by implication.”

Alexia Lucas, a junior premedical student from Canada, said she supports impeachment because Trump’s presidency “has been extremely compromised on multiple occasions.”

“This situation in particular seems unrecoverable,” she said in reference to the phone call between Trump and Zelensky. “How can a country put faith and leadership in someone who has done something so suspicious?”

Donna Shalala (D-Florida) is on board. This marks a significant pivot for Shalala and her colleagues in Florida’s Democratic congressional delegation, many of who were recently undecided or opposed impeachment.

The shift in support comes after Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi announced that she would open an impeachment inquiry following President Donald Trump’s recent talks with Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky. Trump asked When it comes to impeaching the Zelensky to investigate Joe Biden and president, Florida Congresswoman his son’s involvement in a Ukrainian

Will impeachment make a difference?

not the Democrats.”

However, others disagreed, saying the Democrats are more of a problem than Trump.

However, for some people, the Professor of sociology Roger question of whether or not Trump Dunham said this inquiry is just should be impeached is secondary to another example of Democrats another question: Will impeachment trying and failing to eject succeed in removing the president from Trump from office. office?

“I think all of this ‘get Sy Lam, a senior legal studies Trump’ movement and major who identifies as a moderate activities have and will Republican, said he doesn’t think so. continue to discredit the “It’s definitely a symbolic Democrat party,” Dunham movement as of right now,” he said. said.

“I don’t think the Senate will remove him.”

As of Monday afternoon, 224 of the 235 Democrats in the blue-controlled House of Representatives supported impeachment proceedings, but the Senate maintains a Republican majority. In order for Trump to be removed from office, a supermajority of the Senate would have to find the president guilty of “high crimes and misdemeanors.”

But Terilli said politicians should not be focusing on party lines. Instead, he urged them to realize the real issue: “a president who doesn’t seem to care about the rules.”

“The time has long since come for everyone in the Senate to put partisanship aside and think about the welfare of our democracy,” said Terilli, who refers to himself as an Independent. “This doesn’t mean that the Democrats are always above crass partisanship, but the issue right now is

gas company and allegedly withheld $250 million in aid unless his demands were met. Trump maintains that the phone call and the delay in aid were not connected.

In early September, Shalala told The Miami Hurricane that presidential impeachment would be a distraction from the more pressing issues.

“My lack of enthusiasm doesn’t mean that I don’t believe the president has done things that are impeachable offenses,” Shalala said. “But, it does mean that I’d like to keep my eye on the ball and get things done for the

people in my district, for students, for young people and particularly for the most vulnerable people in our society.”

Shalala referenced Bill Clinton’s impeachment process, explaining that it overshadowed some of the administration’s achievements while also drawing focus away from other problems. However, Shalala is now one of the 224 Democrats who support impeachment, aligning her priorities with her party’s views.

Jaime Harn and Noor Khaled contributed to this report.

Pranav Chugh, a senior majoring in political science, agreed that the inquiry is a waste of time. Rather than a constructive investigation, he said he thinks the investigation will turn into a “political witch hunt.”

Trump expressed similar concerns via Twitter, calling the inquiry “presidential harassment” and writing, “There has been no president in the history of our country who has been treated so badly as I have.”

Rather than further alienating Republican voters, Chugh said the

Democrats would be better off focusing on their 2020 candidate.

“The people who hate him will continue to hate him while the people who support him will continue to do so,” said Chugh, who doesn’t identify with any particular party.

Gabriela Coteron, a first-year law student and a registered Democrat, said impeachment would be a “relief ” but agreed that the inquiry will not affect Trump’s campaign for re-election.

She pointed out that Trump has been associated with numerous scandals, none of which ended his campaign or presidency.

“I think at this point in America’s history, he is the candidate to beat,” Coteron said. “The problem is I don’t think there is enough moral obligation in this country right now to get him out.”

next,” Florez said. “Who knows what can come with Pence and that type of power?”

Neha Reddy, a junior biochemistry major, said she’d be happy if the inquiry were successful but worries that Trump’s impeachment would create “more commotion in our government” and intensify existing political divides.

Michael Werner, a registered Republican and an accounting professor at the Miami Business School, has a different concern: the economy.

A power-shift could hurt America’s economy, Werner said, especially since many people perceive Trump to be the main contributor to its success.

“Even without a tangible underlying problem with the economy, the media hype and negative news of an American president being removed from office and the fear of losing what many feel is a driving force for business will negatively impact commerce and the economy,” Werner said.

But regardless of its outcome, many people say the impeachment inquiry is essential for the sake of America’s democratic integrity. Paul Driscoll, an expert in media law and the vice dean of academic affairs at the School of Communication, said, “It’s about time that the country realizes the extent of Donald Trump’s criminal actions.

Nancy Pelosi said it herself: ‘Nobody is above the law.’”

?

By Inés Eisenhour Contributing News Writer

Impeachment is a multistep process that goes beyond just the articles of impeachment.

It is important to understand that impeachment itself is not removal from office. Articles of impeachment are a formal collection of charges drafted to initiate the impeachment process.

The U.S. House of Representatives is responsible for drafting these articles.

The House must first vote on and pass the articles with a simple majority vote. The defendant at this point has been impeached.

No formal action is further taken in the House. It is then the responsibility of the Senate to hold a trial and convict the defendant, which cannot happen without a supermajority vote, which is generally considered to Victoria Anzola, Jacqueline Bajric, Sydney be a two-thirds majority.

Boyo, Joseph Cid, Jayda Graham, Jaime Harn, The current U.S. House Gabrielle Lord, Daniela Perez, Isabel Tragos, of Representatives holds a MacKenzie Trexler, Joanna Ugo, Madelyn

Effects of impeachment

Other students and faculty worry about the long-term impacts of impeachment proceedings. Many say that if Trump was removed from office, Vice President Mike Pence would not offer a better alternative.

Laura Florez, a senior exercise and physiology major, said a Pence presidency could cause fear among members of the LGBTQ+ community, as the evangelical Christian holds notoriously anti-gay viewpoints.

“We can be left in a state of uncertainty because of what’s to come Werder and Greta West contributed to this report.

?

What is a Whistleblower individual known publicly as a whistleblower.

Whistleblowers have been influencing politics House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s since the beginning of our nation, call for impeachment proceedings often changing the course of was jump started by an anonymous history.

By Amanda Gonzalez Contributing News Writer

A whistleblower is a person who reports or exposes wrongdoing or illegal activity, usually in g ove r n m e n t institutions.

A l t h o u g h whistleblowers are caught in the center of a political scandal, for the most part, they are legally protected. The Whistleblower Protection Act protects whistleblowers working for the

federal government, and many protection programs exist in both the public and private sectors.

Like the whistleblower in this case, many individuals have caused a stir in national news. One of the most famous whistleblowers was former associate director of the Federal Bureau of Investigations, Mark Felt, who used the alias “Deep Throat” to report former president Nixon’s involvement in the 1972 Watergate Scandal.

Another well-known whistleblower is former White House employee and friend

majority Democratic body of 235 Democrats and 198 Republicans.

A majority vote in the House would require 218 votes and a supermajority in the Senate would require 67 out of 100 votes.

Although there have been efforts to impeach four presidents, including John Tyler and Richard Nixon, only two have been impeached throughout U.S. history: Andrew Johnson in 1868 and Bill Clinton in 1998.

Neither impeached president was convicted by the Senate. Nixon resigned before proceedings began.

The Constitution only vaguely includes “high crimes and misdemeanors” as impeachable offenses. The word “high” in this context refers to the office not the offense. The Harvard Law Review specifically highlights offenses that subvert the Constitution and “include an unforgivable abuse of the presidency.”

of Monica Lewinsky, Linda Tripp. Tripp exposed former president Bill Clinton’s affair with Lewinsky, revealing the president had lied under oath. The actions taken by both whistleblowers led to impeachment proceedings in Congress.

At this time, the whistleblower in the Trump-Ukraine scandal remains anonymous but has expressed interest in testifying against Trump before Congress.

10

EDGE

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

Celebrate

c

By Shruti Mishra Contributing Writer

There’s no doubt that coffee is America’s drink of choice.

Business professionals and students alike thrive on it — and so does Miami, the international blend of the city makes consuming café something extra special.

For National Coffee Day (Sept. 29), The Hurricane asked students what they love so much about the caffeine-filled drink and found out their favorite places to get it. Without further ado, here is a list of some of Miami’s mostloved coffee spots.

Crema Gourmet Espresso Bar

Source: Instagram, @crema_gourmet

Crema Gourmet Espresso Bar offers some of the smoothest espressos in the city, and there’s nothing Miamians love more than an espresso. All espresso lovers are encouraged to venture out of their daily-drink comfort zone and into the world of innovative flavors— you’ll never guess how flavorful that little shot of caffeine can be.

Crema Gourmet Espresso Bar

ffee

the Miami way

Cafe Grumpy

is located at 169 Miracle Mile R40.

Situated in Miracle Mile, Cafe Grumpy is an adorable coffee shop with creative, innovative flavors. If you’re thinking of taking someone who doesn’t like coffee for a cup, try the dulce de leche latte with oat milk.

Cafe Grumpy is located at 2516 Ponce de Leon Blvd.

Dr. Smood

Dr. Smood promises organic,

Panther Coffee Source: Instagram, @madrugabakery

Source: Instagram, @drsmood

unprocessed and crafted coffee, and that is exactly what they deliver.

With locations in Brickell, Wynwood, South Miami, Aventura and Miami Beach, Dr. Smood’s coffee is renowned for their healthy options. Simar Dyal, a junior studying neuroscience, let us in on her go-to order: “half cashewmilk, half almond-milk latte, extra hot. Thank me later.”

Coffee shops such as Dr. Smood provide more than a good drink, said Dyal; they are also hubs for socializing.

“You can never go wrong with coffee,” Dyal said. “Wanna catch up with a friend? Get a coffee. It’s different than getting a meal— you can talk more, and you’re not starving, so the food doesn’t distract you.”

Dr. Smood South Miami us located at 5801 Sunset Drive.

solitude. If you’re looking to grab a cup while studying, try Madruga Bakery. This breadshop and cafe located across from campus specializes in crafted breakfast bread and pastries, even milling their own baking flour and incorporating organic ingredients. This bakery has the ambiance of a cute French café but with plenty of seating for working. A perfect change of scenery for anyone looking for a quieter study spot.

“I’m over franchises,” said Cory Levy, a finance student and self-proclaimed coffee aficionado. “I really like bakeries and going into coffee shops and to get gourmet coffee.”

Madruga Bakery is located at 1430 S Dixie Highway Suite 117.

Madruga Bakery

Coffee dates are great for catching up with friends or meeting someone new, but they’re also a wonderful component of

Source: Instagram, @cafegrumpy

Source: Instagram, @panthercoffee

Perhaps one of Miami’s most famous chains, Panther Coffee started in Wynwood and later expanded throughout the city.

This coffee shop emphasizes the individuality of each brew, and the unique roasts with sweet, creamy and fruity blends are meant to effortlessly transport you to any country of your choosing. From Guatemala to Ethiopia to Brazil, Panther Coffee is as international as Miami itself.

Panther Coffee Coconut Grove is located at 3407 Main Highway.

Your Local Cuban Cafe

Lastly, you can never go wrong with a classic Cuban joint.

Quintessential to the city, these cafes often have windows facing the streets — perfect for anyone on the go.

“Specific to Miami, my favorite coffee spot would be any Cuban cafe because Miami’s best coffee is Cuban coffee,” said Dalia Ali, a senior studying neuroscience. “It’s just so strong, fresh and tasty.”

When asked why she loves coffee, Ali explained, “I love coffee because it’s smooth, it wakes me up, and it reminds me of starting my day. To me, it’s automatic to have a cup of coffee.

It’s the best to me after dinner, having coffee as a desert when I can have it just to enjoy it.”

Whether it be a cafecito, a latte or a simple cup of black, Miamians adore their coffee.

For National Coffee Day, grab a friend, visit a new coffee shop and explore the flavors Miami has to offer.

Source: Instagram, @pinecrestbakery

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

TELEVISION

EDGE

October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

11

Modern Family Season 11: Farewells for Dunphy-Tucker-Pritchett clan

By Savannah Olivas Contributing Writer

With the final season of “Modern Family” having premiered Sept. 25, the beginning of the end of a revolutionary television era has begun.

Amplifying simple stereotypes into complex characters over the course of 10 seasons, “Modern Family” has resonated with hundreds of thousands of viewers across the nation.

As opposed to the shock value of tackling extreme, divisive topics, “Modern Family” focused instead on everyday, mundane issues, exploring common crises of the average person. The core ideal of family was preserved, exploring the different dynamics and mechanics of the family units that make up their entire clan. Topics such as sexuality, the effect of technology on different generations and unresolved relationships are present under layers of subtlety in the way characters interact with themselves and others.

One of the many filmography tactics used to endear American audiences to the family’s varying plights was the testimonial format and private character confessionals. Shows such as “Parks and Recreation” and “The Office” use this formula to add layers of nuanced humor that a simple punchline couldn’t perform. The generation that grew up with “Modern Family” also grew up in the age of Internet, meaning it became a more jaded generation compared to those before.

Camera testimonials rely on the dry wit of vocalizing emotions that aren’t usually displayed in public, not only nudging at the humor of two-faced sarcasm but also inviting the audience in on the

joke. Instead of just watching the show, the audience is a part of the universe.

Above all, what’s kept the nation watching “Modern Family” for 10 years is the colorful cast of characters, each of whom have toyed with, subverted and completely rejected basic stereotypes. Instead of focusing on how each character and family interacts with situations outside of their bubble, each episode almost solely relies on the internal interactions of each family. The show’s characters provide something for everyone, each with their own definition of “modern.”

Dunphy Clan: Dysfunctional Traditionalists

For those who feel more comfortable with familiar alignments, the main Dunphy family consisted of the everyday nuclear structure. With a mother, a father and three kids, this branch of the clan focused not on diversity but the struggles of parenting, growing up to explore different branches of life and the confrontation of a family home maturing into an empty nest over the course of 10 years.

Real parents watched Alex (Ariel Winter), Luke (Nolan Gould) and Haley (Sarah Hyland) grow from children to university-aged adults with TV parents Phil (Ty Burrell) and Claire (Julie Bowen) Dunphy.

The shenanigans ensued within the household until each child moved out, and America was left watching Phil and Claire come to terms with the opportunities and choices adulthood provided to their children.

The Pritchett-Tucker Clan: Subversive Opposites

Known to be one of the more revolutionary family units in 21st century television, the Pritchett-Tucker clan have been

at the forefront for mainstream homosexuality in television during a dynamic time of growth in the Internet age. Although shows such as “Will and Grace” and “Golden Girls” included gay characters, Cameron Tucker (Eric Stonestreet) and Mitchell Pritchett (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) updated how sitcoms include and portray members of the LGBTQ+ community. Representing two different personality types— Midwesterner Cam taking on the more flamboyant, dramatic role while city-slicker Mitchell exudes a dry sardonicism— the pair balanced each other out throughout the run of the show.

With their adopted daughter Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons), the Pritchett-Tuckers provided a well-grounded model of a gayparented family and displayed that no matter the gender and sexuality of the parents, the core values of a strong family bond remained.

The Pritchett Clan: Generational Revolutionists

While the Dunphy clan explored the deconstruction of the traditional family structure, and the Tucker-Pritchetts offered mainstream media a better look into the workings of a queer household, the Pritchett clan explored the dynamics between four different generations in one household. Made up of patriarch Jay Pritchett (Ed O’Neil), Gloria (Sofia Vergara), Manny (Rico Rodriguez) and Joe (Jeremy Maguire), the conflicts within this family came out of stigmas surrounding agegap relationships, mixed-race relationships, remarriage and creative expression. Claire and Mitchell— Jay’s children— are forced to come to terms with their father’s marriage to a woman their age from the very beginning of the show. Manny’s growth

Source: ABC

into the creative field through his varying hobbies of the week often clashed with his more traditional father’s ideals of masculine identity. By far, this family unit saw the most contention, with four different perspectives, ideals and experiences coming to clash together.

Wrapping up an Era

At the end of each episode, regardless of the conflict, the strings tying the families together always remained strong. It’s commonly said that family consists of the people who offer love and support unconditionally,

guiding with confidence and trust. For most people, family extends beyond the traditional blood relations to those they truly hold dear in their lives.

As fans prepare to say goodbye to their favorite households, the show’s legacy will last far beyond its series finale. Spreading across the characters’ expanse of different personalities, philosophies and ideologies over the past decade, “Modern Family” has taught viewers everywhere that family can be found anywhere, no matter the shape or size.

For more Edge coverage, visit themiamihurricane.com

12 SPORTS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

FOOTBALL

Trevon Hill eager for match up against former team

By Anthony Kean Assistant Sports Editor

The Hurricanes (2-2) have a bye weekend before facing Virginia Tech (2-1). Defensive end Trevon Hill is using the extra week to prepare to face his former team.

Hill was a three-star defensive end coming out of Salem High School in Salem, Virginia when he committed to Virginia Tech.

He was redshirted his freshman year and played there for three seasons after that. During his time as a Hokie, Hill recorded 94 tackles, 20 tackles for loss, and 11.5 sacks. Hill only played in three games in the 2018 season and was dismissed from the team

by Hokies coach Justin Fuente following a halftime locker room confrontation against Old Dominion University. He was not part of the team when the Hokies played Miami in 2018.

After graduating from Virginia Tech with a degree in property management, Hill entered the transfer portal. He came to UM for his final season of eligibility as a graduate transfer.

“I just feel like the tradition they had, the type of defense they had, the people that I was going to be around was a home outside of a home,” Hill said of his decision to continue his career at Miami.

Hill is still close with many of his former Virginia Tech teammates, but said he is happy to be a Hurricane.

“We have a great relationship,” Hill said. “Me and them guys are close, so I mean, it was hard to leave, but I’m here now and I’m happy to be with these guys.”

While preparing to face his former team, Hill is trying to use his experience as a Hokie as an advantage to his teammates on offense.

“I tell them things that they should look out for, some things that I have seen on film and some things I already know to help these guys out. ‘Cause I mean, we all want to win,” Hill said.

Hill also acknowledged that facing his former quarterback, Ryan Willis, will be different now that they are on opposing teams.

“Willis is a good quarterback man, I respect his game,” Hill said. “But at the end of the day he’s wearing VT and I’m wearing the U, so I gotta get after him.”

Hill’s production on the field has picked up just in time.

He recorded three tackles last week against Central Michigan, including his first sack as a Hurricane.

“It felt good, but I’m not satisfied,” Hill said about the sack. “It took me four games to get one sack, so I’m pissed off about that. There’s more to come.”

Head Coach Manny Diaz also acknowledged the improvement in Hill’s play.

“I’m sure it’s an important game for him, but to me what I’ve enjoyed about him is the way he works, he’s gotten better every week,” Diaz said. “He’s just been eager to learn, eager to work and I think his production has increased every week through the first four games of the season.”

“I couldn’t even express to you how bad I want to play this game,” Hill said.

Josh Halper// Staff Photographer

TOUGH TACKLE: Trevon Hill (94) tackles a Central Michigan player during a game on Sept. 21 at Hard Rock Stadium.

Josh Halper// Staff Photographer

HURRICANES HOORAY: Trevon Hill (94) celebrates after making a tackle on Sept. 21 against Central Michigan University.

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

SPORTS 13

ROUNDUP

Hurricanes suffer losses across board last week

By Austin Pert Staff Writer

Volleyball

The women’s volleyball team opened up ACC action this weekend with two games in North Carolina. The Hurricanes went 2-0 as coach Jose “Keno” Gandara became the second-winningest coach in program history.

The duo of matches began on Friday at Wake Forest, where UM swiftly took care of the Demon Deacons 3-0 (25-17, 25-21, 2521). The Canes hit .297 as a team.

Kennedy Prince, Janet Kalaniuvalu and Elizaveta Lukianova each shared a game-high 10 kills. Prince led the team in blocks with six, and Savannah Vach recorded a gamebest 35 assists.

The Canes defeated Duke 3-1 on Sunday at Cameron Indoor Stadium (25-21, 25-19, 20-25, 2521). Miami’s hitting percentage dropped to .205, but certain players loaded the stat sheet. Prince

recorded a double-double with 11 kills and 11 blocks. Lukianova registered a team-high 17 kills.

Kalaniuvalu was right behind her with 16 kills ,and Vach added 48 assists.

Miami (6-4, 2-0 ACC) will return home for another pair of games next weekend. They will take on defending ACC champs University of Pittsburgh on Oct. 4 and University of Virginia on Oct. 6. Both games are at the Knight Complex.

Swim and Dive

UM opened their fall season with meets against in-state rivals Florida State and FIU, falling short in both competitions. A 90-203 loss to Florida State at the Norman Whitten Pool kicked off the Hurricanes’ season. Nevertheless, freshman Andrea Todorovic represented the Canes well. She did the 100-yard breaststroke in 1:05.60 and the 200-yard breaststroke in 2:27.17. In diving, freshman Mia Vallee led UM in the 3-meter event,

finishing second individually with a score of 305.63.

The team crossed town Saturday morning for 131-169 loss at FIU. Sophomore Zorry Mason won the team’s first individual event in the 100-yard breast stroke with a 1:03.60 time. Todorovic also picked up an event victory, finishing the 200-yard backstroke in 2:04.74.

The team is in action next on Oct. 11-12 at the Southern Methodist University Classic in Dallas.

Golf

The Canes finished 11th overall at the Schooner Fall Classic in Norman, Oklahoma, shooting 27over par during the three-day event.

Senior Renate Grimstad finished 10th on the individual leaderboard, a team best, as she shot an even par.

Junior Kristyna Frydlova placed 20th while shooting two-over-par, and sophomore Anna Backman tied for 59th and shot 12-over.

Freshmen Daniella Barrett and Morgan Pankow rounded out the

group for Miami, shooting 13 and 33-over, respectively.

Their next tournament will be on Oct. 12 at the Betsy Rawls Invitational in Austin, Texas.

Men’s Tennis

Four Canes traveled to Athens, Georgia for the Southern Intercollegiate Championships over the weekend. Doubles partners William Grattan-Smith and Stephen Madonia fell in the consolation finals 6-0 to a University of Georgia doubles pair. Sophomore Franco Aubone fell in the singles consolation 6-3, 6-3. While Aubone and partner Benjamin Hannestad were defeated

by Texas in a separate doubles bracket, Hannestad won 6-1, 6-1 in his singles consolation game.

The team will head to Tulsa, Oklahoma for the ITA Men’s AllAmerican Championships on Oct. 5.

Women’s Tennis

The women’s tennis team split up at two competitions. Nada

Dimovska and Lucia Marzal went a combined 4-5 across both doubles and singles at the ITA Hall of Fame Classic in Williamsburg, Virginia.

Meanwhile in Orlando, four other Canes combined to go 13-10 overall at the USTA Fall Ranked Spotlight.

Doubles duo Selma Cadar and Yuna Ito advanced to the final of their doubles bracket, falling 7-5 to an Oklahoma State doubles pair.

Sophomore Daevenia Achong advanced to the final of the singles consolation draw before being defeated by Kolie Allen of Ohio State, 6-4, 5-7, [10-8].

The highlight for the team was defending national champion Estela Perez-Somarriba’s three set singles championship win over Shiroi Fukuda, also of Ohio State.

Perez-Somarriba would recover from dropping a first set tiebreaker to win 6-7 (2-7), 6-2, 7-5.

The team will split up again next weekend between the Bedford Cup in Fort Myers and the ITA Women’s All-American Championships in Tulsa.

SOCCER

Miami ties 3-3 with Pitt in ACC home opener

By Isabella Didi Sports Editor

The Canes women’s soccer team fought hard through two halves and an overtime period but could not pull away. They tied 3-3 with University of Pittsburgh on Sunday night, remaining winless for their first three games of ACC play.

“It sucks,” defender Selena Fortich said after the game.

“They played a good game, and they fought back, but I definitely think we should have come out on top with a win.”

Miami was on the board early in the game on a goal from senior Bayleigh Chaviers. She raced up the left side of the field before cutting back towards the goal and kicked what appeared to be a cross, but her shot found the back

of the net just two minutes and 51 seconds into the game.

The score would remain 1-0 for the rest of the half. Both teams put up five shots in the first 45 minutes of regulation gameplay.

After the break, Miami scored in the 49th minute. This time, Michelle Giamportone scored on a cross from Tia Dupont. Dupont passed the ball to Kristina Fisher before it made its way to Giamportone and into the goal.

Four minutes later, Pitt got its first goal of the game by Sydney Marasco. Shortly after, a goal from Anna Rico evened the score to 2-2.

In the 71st minute, Pitt goalie Katherine Robinson came out of the goal in attempt to make a stop, allowing Fortich to handle a pass from Ine Østmo and punch

it past the goalie for the Canes’ third goal of the game. Fortich’s goal was the first of her career.

“I honestly had no idea it went in,” Fortich said. “I was like, ‘Oh my god, I scored.’ But it felt good to get us on top and hopefully more to come.”

Despite the two goals scored in the second half, Miami took only three shots, which paled in comparison to Pitt’s nine.

“I think we kind of fell back a little in the second half and they were definitely dominating,” Chaviers said.

Pitt’s Marasco tallied her second goal of the game with four minutes left in regulation, tying the game up at 3-3.

The teams entered overtime with a tie, and the score would remain that way for the two 10-minute periods.

Miami

Jared Lennon // Staff Photographer SPLIT SPEED: Tia Dupont (23) splits between two of Pitt’s defenders. Dupont had one assist in the game.

was able to put up five shots, overshooting Pitt by three goals, but the teams were both unsuccessful in scoring.

The Hurricanes will play Virginia in their next game at Cobb Stadium on Friday, Oct. 4 at 8 p.m.

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CURIOUS CATS. SPORTS GENIUSES. TECH GEEKS. GRAMMAR FREAKS. ZINE QUEENS. PHOTO FIENDS. VIDEO ADDICTS. SOCIAL MEDIA FANATICS. We think you should get paid to do what you love.

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V’S TAKE

October 1, 2019 - October 7, 2019

Beware of the horse girl Dear V, I just got out of a 4 year relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Jumping back into the dating pool, I am worried that I’m too off my game to recognize the most obvious red flags. Any types of girls I should make an effort to steer clear from?

Love, Ready For Action

Have a question for V? Email

dearv@themiamihurricane.com.

Dear Ready For Action, Like a penis, women can make life hard for no reason. The complications of a female brain make it difficult to recognize who isn’t psychotic. This doesn’t mean that men are any less frustrating, just more simple minded.

We won’t even need them once a

woman invents a vibrator that can mow the lawn.

Now that I have evened the playing field a bit, there are a few types of girls in college to avoid at all costs.

You will never find the love of your life on Tinder. Women practically sweat with desperation for attention on the revolting app. I wouldn’t even seek out a hookup on Tinder. Everything should happen naturally. It’s that moment of calm when you’re not even thinking about it, just happy; that’s when the right girl will burst into your life like a hurricane.

New forms of self-expression and female identities have entered the dating arena: e-girls and VSCO

girls. You can easily identify an e-girl with a cross hung around her neck ironically like a sad, bisexual version of “The Fault In Our Stars.” Different from VSCO girls, who are built like a reusable straw that sucks the fun out of everything. Entertaining a trend won’t last, so find yourself a classic.

Being a horse girl is a congenital illness. You don’t even need a horse to have horse girl energy. One time I went to the wellness center and saw one galloping on the treadmill. Read my next words carefully: She is the female equivalent to the bubonic plague.

Best, V

' RESUME BUILDER// WORK EXPERIENCE // MAKE MONEY

The Miami Hurricane is looking for hardworking individuals to join our sales team for the 2019-20 academic year.

austin@themiamihurricane.com for more information, contact:

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