The Miami Student | April 23, 2019

ESTABLISHED 1826 — OLDEST COLLEGE NEWSPAPER WEST OF THE ALLEGHENIES

Volume 147 No. 24

Miami University — Oxford, Ohio

TUESDAY, APRIL 23, 2019

AND THEY’RE OFF!

ASG fails to censure Secretary for Communications

Sigma Chi Alpha holds annual Derby Days Fundraiser, raises over $20,000

ERIN GLYNN

ASST. NEWS EDITOR

SORORITIES AND FRATERNITIES CAME TOGETHER TO SUPPORT THE HUNTSMAN CANCER FOUNDATION. PHOTO EDITOR BO BRUECK

IZZY OWEN

THE MIAMI STUDENT Laughter and cheers filled the air at Millet Field on Wednesday, April 17. The afternoon marked day three of Sigma Chi Alpha’s Olympic Games-themed second annual Derby Days Fundraiser.

The week began on Sunday, April 14 with the opening ceremonies and wrapped up on Thursday, April 18th with the closing ceremonies. Donations were taken until Sunday, April

20. Sigma Chi philanthropy chair, junior Jacob Smith, and Derby Days Chairs, sophomores Jack Lipovich and Davis Kurz, planned the week’s events.

Beginning with the Sigma Chi Alpha chapter at the University of California, Berkeley in 1922, the Derby Days event spread to Sigma Chi chapters nationwide. By the 1960s, Derby Days raised funds for different charities.

In order to participate in the events, sororities donate money to the charities chosen by the fraternity. In 2012, Sigma Chi declared the

Huntsman Cancer Foundation as their main charity. According to the foundation’s mission statement, donations go toward treatment and a better understanding of cancer, so that facilities can improve the quality of life for patients and survivors of cancer and their loved ones.

After donating their entry fees, 12 Miami sororities participated in the Olympic-styled events. They included a dodgeball tournament on Monday, a jousting tournament on Tuesday

Despite bringing articles of impeachment against Secretary for Communications and Media Relations Michael Zele, Associated Student Government (ASG) voted against censuring Zele during senate session on April 16.

To censure a member of ASG means that there has been “formal disapproval of an action

by Senate,” according to the ASG bylaws. The censured member is not relieved of their duties or removed from ASG. ASG’s Oversight Committee recommended senate censure Zele on the grounds that he failed to fulfill his duties, chiefly his responsibilities to keep the ASG website updated and to use ASG social media to keep constituents informed of new legislation and ASG-sponsored events.

On April 1, Chief of Staff Madeline Zinkl filed a complaint regarding Zele’s performance with the Oversight Committee. Zinkl said she had been concerned about Zele’s work since the fall semester, when the ASG website displayed graduated students in positions they had vacated the previous year. Student Body President Meaghan Murtagh received complaints that ASG events were not publicized in a timely manner.

Many of the complaints focused on an incident in which a flyer informing students of the Outstanding Professor Awards was not distributed to the student body until April 1, one day before nominations were due.

The committee decided there was enough evidence to investigate on April 9, and held a hearing that included testimony from Zele that same day.

Speaker Pro Tempore Benjamin Mitsch, who leads the Oversight Committee, presented the evidence against Zele at the beginning of the April 16 senate session with the recommendation that senate vote to censure the secretary.

Zele testified after Mitsch presented the committee’s findings.

Zele said his ability to keep the website updated was dependent upon whether information such as legislation and office hours times

CONTINUED ON PAGE 2

CONTINUED ON PAGE 2

ARENA

Sustainability committee has yet to agree on climate commitment MADELINE PHABY

THE MIAMI STUDENT The Miami University Sustainability Committee did not reach a consensus on whether or not Miami should sign the Presidents’ Climate Leadership Commitment at their meeting on Tuesday, April 16.

The commitment, which has been signed by over 400 colleges and universities, requires each institution to develop a plan to become carbon neutral by a goal year of its choosing.

The meeting began with a review of the commitment, which had been summarized by a subcommittee headed by Director of Sustainability Adam Sizemore. This summary gave a detailed account of all aspects of the commitment as well as the changes Miami must make to attain the de-

sired goals.

One of the main concerns for the committee is achieving carbon neutrality in “Scope 3” emissions, which include car, bus and airplane travel.

Since these emissions are unavoidable, Miami would have to purchase offsets to be considered carbon neutral.

According to Terrapass, carbon offsets are credits that can be purchased to help fund projects that reduce the amount of carbon dioxide in the air. These credits balance out an institution’s carbon emissions and allow it to be considered carbon neutral.

Professor of geography David Prytherch and assistant professor of geography Jessica McCarty explained several types of offsets that could be explored by the university. They also discussed projects at other institutions, such as Duke Uni-

versity’s partnership with Delta Airlines. To offset the carbon emitted during Duke’s airline travel, the university and Delta made a joint purchase of 5,000 carbon credits.

Director of Energy Systems Doug Hammerle presented another potential obstacle to completing the commitment — Miami’s reliance on its gas-powered heating system will continue until 2051 at the earliest. This means that achieving carbon neutrality earlier than this date would require purchasing more offsets.

Despite these possible setbacks, several committee members remained supportive of Miami signing the commitment.

Molly O’Donnell, Secretary for Infrastructure and Sustainability in Associated Student Government (ASG), created a petition earlier this month encouraging Miami to sign the commitment. This

student perspective was taken into account during the committee’s deliberations.

Jonathan Levy, director of the Institute for the Environment and Sustainability, said that Miami has a “moral obligation” to at least attempt to fulfill the goals of the commitment.

“I recognize that [failure] is a possibility, but all this commitment is doing is saying, ‘we’re going to try,’” Levy said.

The meeting ended before a consensus could be reached, so more discussion will be necessary before information on the commitment is presented to University President Gregory Crawford.

The committee has until June 1 to decide how to continue. phabymr@miamioh.edu

This Issue Pedaling creativity

Best athlete in the family

Our Managing Editor jumped on the bandwagon

Stela Kukoc creates her own legacy at Miami

That’s a first

News » page 5

Our Designer takes signs of white supremacy on campus personally.

Culture » page 7

Opinion » page 12

Growing up in college has a whole new meaning

Humor

pages 8 & 9

How can we be better allies?

Sports » page 10

News »»page Culture page5 8

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AND THEY’RE OFF!

Sigma Chi Alpha holds annual Derby Days Fundraiser, raises over $20,000 FROM FRONT

and the chariot race on Wednesday.

“I love participating in other philanthropies,” said sophomore and Kappa Alpha Theta philanthropy chair Amanda Nelson. “It provides more opportunities for all of Greek life to come together for a good cause.”

Sophomore Hanna Israel, a member of Phi Mu, said she enjoys Derby Days because it brings her sorority together.

“It’s a fun thing to do with our sisters and we get to support the whole Greek community,” Israel said. “It’s a fun thing to do outside when it gets warmer.”

Miami’s Sigma Chi Alpha chapter began participating in Derby Days events last year and raised $13,000. This year, the chapter raised over $20,000, which earned them a brick with the Sigma Chi Alpha insignia and their winning year, 2019, on it at the Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City.

“I’m really proud of the Derby Days event because we raised $20,000, which is huge for our fraternity,” Smith said.

In the chariot race, sorority members raced each other while riding in boxes on tarps. Two Sigma Chi Alpha fraternity brothers pulled each tarp, which each represented

different sororities.

First-year Caleigh McNeil, a member of Delta Zeta, enjoyed the race.

“It was pretty fun actually. I’d do it again,” McNeil said After the chariot races, Sigma Chi members and the sororities went across the street to the fraternity house to participate in the Dunk-A-Sig, the dunk tank activity. Participants had time to socialize, listen to music and dunk a fraternity member in a bucket of water.

Fraternity brothers took turns taking a seat on the dunking bench, and participants paid two dollars for three balls and three dollars for five balls to attempt to soak the “Sig” brother.

After having been dunked in the booth first-year, Ben Skaggs was itching to get dunked again.

“For the cause of this, I’d go in as many times as I’d have to,” he said. “As long as we keep raising money for it.”

The Zeta Tau Alpha sorority won Derby Days, and the total amount of money raised was $28,129.

happy belated earth day

owenip@miamioh.edu

ASG fails to censure Secretary for Communications FROM FRONT

were uploaded to ASG’s Google Drive, a task that falls to the Speaker of Senate. Zele said that Speaker Cole Hankins had failed to upload the information.

“I asked him multiple times in person and once in writing on February 26 to provide me with records to reflect the current state of senate. He provided me the senate roster but did not include anything else,” Zele said.

Hankins responded that he was confident in the job senate leadership has done.

Zele testified that he had also asked Mitsch, as Speaker Pro Tempore, to provide him with the information needed to update the website. Zele displayed screenshots of his emails and the ASG Google Drive as evidence.

“I also requested updated minutes from the Speaker Pro Tempore on multiple occasions,” Zele said. “I asked them to be upload-

ed to the Google Drive on April 4 or emailed to me directly on March 3. As of Sunday, April 14, they are still not uploaded into the Google Drive.”

Though Zele asked Hankins, Mitsch and Parliamentarian Max Mellott to witness for him, all three declined.

“My job as Speaker of Senate is to be presiding officer of senate,” Hankins said. “I feel that takes precedence over being a witness.”

Zele also defended himself when it came to the Outstanding Professor Awards flyer, saying that he had needed to change the graphics so that the flyer would better fit with ASG’s branding, and felt it would be better to distribute the new flyers April 1, as reminder emails had already been sent March 17 and March 31.

After deliberation, senate voted against censuring Zele. glynnee@miamioh.edu

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4 NEWS ROR takes over scheduling CAROLINE HAUBENSTRICKER THE MIAMI STUDENT

A new system called Registration Override Request (ROR) is being implemented within some departments at Miami University as a waitlist for class scheduling. This system will compensate for the previous force-add procedures.

Previously, force-add protocols varied among all Miami Adepartments, which confused students and required professors to manually accept or deny students’ class requests. The university registrar, Mandy Euen, thought that this process led to miscommunication between professors and students and allowed for too much bias on the part of professors.

Phyllis Callahan, university provost, and Michael Kabbaz, senior vice president of enrollment management and student success, pushed for the implementation of a single process for registration that would allow students to request placement in closed or otherwise inaccessible classes.

With consultation from the university registrar, Euen and two teams of Information Technology Services developers began Phase I of the ROR project in January 2017 and concluded in October 2017.

Phase I entailed the initial use of the tool, but after a student was accepted into a class, the departmental reviewers had to manually enroll students in the course on Bannerweb.

Following the feedback, Euen worked with the two teams in the Information Technology Services to implement Phase II, which launched in September 2018 and concluded in in March 2019. Phase II included the implementation of a button that automatically enrolls a student into a course from the application.

A few departments volunteered to pilot the program, including computer science and engineering, theatre, history and music.

Each department utilizing ROR must have departmental reviewers to assess class enrollment requests. These reviewers are usually the chairs of the department that houses classes in which the student desires to enroll.

The management of class requests shifts from individual faculty members to an authorized department reviewer to provide more transparency and fairness in enrollment with the use of ROR, Euen said.

Submitting a ROR request authorizes the departmental reviewer to access the student’s Degree Audit Report System (DARS) information and class schedule to assist in determining the student’s needs for the requested course.

Euen believes that the ROR system keeps a human touch while also allowing for a better decision-making tool for class enrollment based on facts, academic records and undergraduate status. Each department using ROR has its own timeline for when it decides to manage class requests.

“Students must understand that ROR is a tool to manage and process course enrollment more holistically than in the past,” Julia Guichard, a professor and chair of the theatre department, said.

For students to better understand the ROR process, the developers inserted a help button that is accessible while requesting classes with the ROR system. Students are able to view the departments and courses that are involved in the ROR system, as well as hints for the ROR request process.

In order to access these helpful tips, students must press the question mark beside the ROR information on the top of the webpage.

Junior Sarah Baumgarther used ROR to enroll into ENG 407 for fall 2019 because she wasn’t able to enroll into the class during her registration period.

Baumgarther needed the class to fulfill her English requirement for her strategic communication and professional writing double major, but she was also interested in the subject.

“The application is pretty straight forward; finding it was the hard part. I had to go find an email that detailed how to use ROR because there weren’t any clear instructions anywhere else,” Baumgather said. “But once I applied it became a waiting game. And luckily I got into the class I needed before I needed to stress about being able to graduate on time.”

All university departments will either use the ROR application or Banner Waitlist for all student force-add requests beginning November 2019 for Spring 2020 class registration.

Banner Waitlist operates on a first come, first serve basis when a class becomes available, which only gives students 24 hours to register for the class in Bannerweb before the seat offer expires.

Banner Waitlist requires students to be fully eligible for the course in order to join the waitlist, meaning they must have completed all prerequisites and fulfilled major requirements.

Mark Morris, the assistant chair and chief departmental advisor in political science, decided to abstain from the use of ROR after a year of implementing it to ensure easier enrollment in the political science department’s abundance of courses for their limited departemental reviewers.

Morris said that departments that have large numbers, like political science, find that ROR is relatively challenging to use with the abundance of course requests and opt for Banner Waitlist. haubence@miamioh.edu

TUESDAY, APRIL 23, 2019

NEWS@MIAMISTUDENT.NET

Miami Credit Union breaks ground on new building for 50th anniversary RYAN DERN

THE MIAMI STUDENT The Miami University and Community Credit Union (MUCCU) held a groundbreaking ceremony on Thursday, April 18 for their new office located between 1 and 21 Lynn Street.

The new office will replace one of their current offices on Wells Mill Drive, which is one of four total offices. The opening of the new location marks MUCCU’s 50th anniversary.

A credit union is a business that provides loans to people for things like houses, vehicles and other personal matters as well as offers credit and debit cards. The difference between a credit union and a traditional bank is that a credit union is a non-profit organization, while banks are traditionally for-profit.

Former university President Philip Shriver opened the very first account at MUCCU in 1969, ingraining the credit union into the university.

The groundbreaking ceremony was held at the LaRosa’s on Lynn Street and at the adjacent lot. A meeting and discussion of the project was held in the banquet room of the restaurant. There was a presentation discussing the history of MUCCU and the plans for the new building.

“We hope that this new building will allow us to further our community outreach and engagement with not only Miami students and faculty, but the Oxford community as a whole,” MUCCU president and CEO RickParker said at the ceremony. dernre@miamioh.edu @ryan__dern

EVERYONE WHO ATTENDED LAST THURSDAY’S CEREMONY GOT TO PARTICIPATE IN THE ACTUAL GROUNDBREAKING. THE MIAMI STUDENT ZAIM HAQ

National headquarters suspends Sig Ep for alcohol use CÉILÍ DOYLE,

MANAGING EDITOR The national headquarters for Sigma Phi Epsilon (Sig Ep) temporarily suspended Miami University’s fraternity chapter after a staff member stopped by the fraternity’s house for a scheduled visit and found discarded beers cans and signs of drinking games on Sunday, April 14.

The national organization decided to suspend Sig Ep the following day while they investigate whether or not the chapter violated the organization’s substance-free facility regulations.

Those rules, passed in August 2017 by Sig Ep’s undergraduate legislative body, strictly prohibit the presence and use of alcohol, marijuana or any controlled substances without a prescription in the fraternity house.

“We decided to pause operations at the Ohio Eta chapter while we investigate the situation and determine necessary next steps to enhance safety and promote the personal

development on which the Sig Ep experience should be based,” Sig Ep’s chief communications officer, Heather Kirk, wrote in an email to The Miami Student.

No one has reported or shown any sign

Both Miami’s interfraternity council president and junior Grant Zehnder and Sig Ep chapter president and sophomore Sam Demmler did not respond to requests for comment.

Sig Ep is the third fraternity this semester to face sanctions from Miami and/or their national headquarters. Theta Chi and Delta Tau Delta (Delts) were summarily suspended by Miami earlier this semester while the Office of Community Standards (OCS) reviews their

Sig Ep is the third fraternity this semester to face sanctions from Miami and/or their national headquarters of injury resulting from Sig Ep’s alcohol use, Kirk wrote.

Miami has not received any reports involving SigEp, either, director of university news and communications, Claire Wagner said.

“Miami has not received a complaint and is not investigating,” she wrote in an email to The Student.

cases. Phi Delta Theta, Phi Psi Omega, Phi Kappa Tau, Sigma Nu, Kappa Sigma and Zeta Beta Tau are the seven other fraternities currently on summary suspension from Miami or removed from campus. doyleca3@miamioh.edu @cadoyle_18

Miami semi-finalists selected for Fulbright awards ERIN GLYNN

ASST. NEWS EDITOR Five Miami University students, one faculty member and two alumni have been offered Fulbright awards for the upcoming academic year.

Congress created the Fulbright program in 1946 to foster international relationships in education and research. It is the largest U.S. exchange program for students and young professionals. 1,900 grants for study, research and teaching were given this year to send American students to positions in 160 countries.

“It’s a tremendous opportunity for students,” said Director of Global Partnerships Karla Guinigundo.

There is a set number of awards for each country, so some countries’ positions are more selective than others.

“This is a strong year,” Guinigundo said.

“The last two years the number of applicants have increased. The program is more wellknown on campus, which is pushing numbers up.”

Graduate student Alexandra Fair is the first Miami student since 2010 to be granted a research/study award. Fair will be continuing her graduate work in history in the United Kingdom, the most popular country for U.S. applicants.

2017 graduate Jane Winsett was awarded a grant-at-large — meaning she applied outside of an U.S. institution — to be an English teaching assistant in Kosovo. 2018 graduate

Cyrus Green will have the same position in Argentina.

The remaining students are all seniors who will be serving as English teaching assistants.

Sarah Berg will be in South Korea, Madison Cook in Ecuador, Emily Erdmann in Russia and Lauren Voegtle in Brazil.

Global and Intercultural Studies assistant professor Tani Sebro was awarded a Fulbright Scholar Fellowship to research Thai migrants in Myanmar.

The amount of students who were awarded is a testament to Miami’s nationally-ranked study abroad programs, Guinigundo said. glynnee@miamioh.edu

NEWS@MIAMISTUDENT.NET

NEWS 5

TUESDAY, APRIL 23, 2019

Sweet Sixteen in college Kelsey Mahoney uses her age as an opportunity BRIAH LUMPKINS STAFF WRITER

First-year psychology and classical languages major, Kelsey Mahoney, came to Miami University excited about all that college had to offer, but understood beforehand that her college experience would differ from the majority. After all, she’s 16, and being at least two years younger than most first-year students in a college town is not always easy.

Mahoney attempts to have the college experience she’s always wanted by looking at her age as an opportunity, rather than a hindrance. Instead of participating in the common party culture present at many universities, Mahoney spends her time paving a path for success after graduation.

As a little girl, Mahoney always knew she was gifted. Every academic year, she was recommended by her teachers to skip to the next grade.

Initially, she and her mother decided not to advance her education, in fear that the change may be too drastic. But Mahoney’s attitude toward school quickly began to change.

“I was not being challenged — to the point [that] I wasn’t even motivated to do my homework,” Mahoney said. “Why would I do homework that I already know how to do?

It seemed completely pointless.”

With her struggle in mind, Mahoney’s grandfather heard through one of his law clients about Covington Latin School in Covington, KY. The high school is college-preparatory and, according to Mahoney, the

majority of the students who attend have skipped at least one grade in their academic careers. In order to enroll, prospective students are required to take a placement test.

As a fifth grader, Mahoney took the placement test and was recommended to skip directly to her freshman year of high school.

Despite the recommendation, Mahoney decided to only move to the eighth grade. She thought the process of integrating to a new school would be easier if all of the students were in a similar situation.

“Everyone coming into school didn’t know each other,” Mahoney said. “I thought this would be a really good opportunity to start on the same playing field as everyone else.

And I’d be challenged in school, which is what I wanted.”

Mahoney, a Cincinnati native, always had college in her sights. Her aunt went to Miami, and Mahoney remembers coming to campus at a young age. She has fond memories of going Uptown to You’re Fired and Bagel & Deli. The Oxford area was familiar to her and was ultimately the reason she chose Miami over other universities, like the University of Dayton and The Ohio State University, both of whom offered her full-tuition scholarships.

At Miami, she has found that making friends can be difficult. She’s always been open about her age, but feels it factors into some of the relationships she makes.

“Making friends is not the easiest thing because I’m the person who gets along well with people who go out Thursday, Friday and Saturday,”

ASG elects new executive cabinet members ERIN GLYNN

ASST. NEWS EDITOR Associated Student Government (ASG) elected seven executive cabinet members during senate session on April 16.

Academic senator Collin O’Sullivan ran against sophomore Frannie Hillyer for the Secretary of the Treasury position. O’Sullivan emphasized his desire for a better relationship between the Funding and Audit committee and senate. O’Sullivan was elected to the position.

On-campus senators Mariana Niekamp and Spencer Silbey both ran for Secretary for Advancement and Alumni Affairs. The main duties associated with the position are to “maintain relationships with students and work with the Alumni Association Board,” according to the ASG bylaws.

Silbey said he would work to define the duties of the position in the bylaws and rewrite them so there would be less ambiguity.

Senate elected Silbey as Secretary of Advancement and Alumni Affairs.

Off-campus senator Edith Lui ran against academic senator Matej Turk in the Secretary for Academic Affairs election. Lui said she hoped to continue current Secretary Annika Fowler’s work in making textbooks more affordable for students. Senate confirmed Lui for the position.

Academic senator Shelby Frye

challenged the incumbent Secretary for On-Campus Affairs Effie Fraley.

Fraley has held the position since the elections in early February, and won the spot again.

The races for Secretary of Finance, Secretary for Off-Campus Affairs and Secretary for Infrastructure and Sustainability were all unopposed.

Current Secretary of the Treasury William Hoffman ran and was elected to be Secretary of Finance.

Hoffman said he would strive for better communication between the Funding and Audit committee and student organizations so that the organizations would have a better idea of what the funding requirements are each semester.

Claire Keller, currently an off-campus senator, ran for Secretary for Off-Campus Affairs. Keller said she wished to continue the relationship current Secretary Charles Kennick has fostered with the City of Oxford, particularly through the Student/ Community Relations Commission (SCRC). Senate confirmed Keller for the position.

Senate elected sophomore Antonio Vazquez Lim Secretary for Infrastructure and Sustainability. Lim has three years of experience with the international group Citizens’ Climate Lobby and said he hopes to improve the accessibility of the Butler County Regional Transit Authority (BCRTA). glynnee@miamioh.edu

KELSEY MAHONEY PLANS TO GRADUATE COLLEGE BY AGE 19.

THE MIAMI STUDENT ZACH REICHMAN

Mahoney said. “[But] I can’t go out.

I’m not going to get a fake. I don’t want to. It’s not worth the trouble.”

This year, she became a member of Phi Mu and has found that she is unable to participate in many of the traditional sorority activities such as date parties at the Uptown bars. She was not able to participate in her sorority formal, because the venue did not allow anyone under the age of 18.

Mahoney notices that her older friends are watchful over her. Although she appreciates their concern, she also said there are downsides.

“My closest friends here are very protective of me because I am young.

One thing that I don’t like is that they feel that have to scream, ‘She’s

16!”’ to everyone,” Mahoney said, “or the ‘Oh, I have to take care of you because you’re a little baby’ thing. I like it because I feel that I have people who are protective over me, but at the same time, I’m in college just like you are.”

In addition to being a part of her sorority, Mahoney is also the secretary of Tappan Hall’s Community Leadership Team (CLT) and volunteers at food shelters in the surrounding area.

“At my high school, you had to have 20-25 [volunteer] hours depending on what grade you were in.

Because I wasn’t old enough to have a job [in Oxford], I volunteered instead,” Mahoney said.

Mahoney refuses to let her age

hold her back from seizing every opportunity. She is unsure what exact career she wants to pursue, but hopes to graduate early in three years, when she’s 19.

“Once I’m out, I’m out,” Mahoney said. “The quicker you get out of college, the quicker you get to work and pay off debt … College is important, but life after college is also important. The earlier I get out of college, the quicker I get to enjoy it. I just wanna make sure whatever I’m doing is with people, and [that] I’m able to make them feel like who they are is the best that they can be.” lumpkibm@miamioh.edu @briah_lumpkins

Tri-Council collaborates with TOPSS SARA BEY

THE MIAMI STUDENT The Interfraternity Council (IFC), National Pan-Hellenic Council (NPHC) and Pan-Hellenic Association are teaming up with Talawanda-Oxford Pantry and Social Services (TOPSS) to raise $200,000 over the next three years for construction costs of a new building and the revamping of the food pantry’s services.

TOPSS, formerly named the Oxford Community Choice Pantry,

secretary of the TOPSS executive board.

Food insecurity means not having consistent access to nutritious foods. An estimated 1000 students in the Talawanda school district qualify for free or reduced lunch.

Fuehrer approached the Cliff Alexander Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life in January and presented the Tri-Council with the partnership opportunity. “[She] informed us of all the changes they were trying to make, such as beautifying the building and serving a wider audience in

“About 11 percent of the population of Butler County experiences food insecurity.” is constructing a new building on College Corner Pike.

TOPSS’ goals under its new name include continuing to serve as a food pantry for Oxford while implementing a nutrition and health curriculum. TOPSS will also offer after-school programs with gardening, compost and exercise classes.

“About 11 percent of the population of Butler County experiences food insecurity,” said Ann Fuehrer,

Miami University and Community Federal Credit Union

-Ann Fuehrer

Oxford,” said Jake McCorkle, vice president of community service and philanthropy in IFC and a member of Delta Chi. The Tri-Council will help with construction and financial efforts and will continue to volunteer time and knowledge to patrons when the business is running. “[They are] building on a commitment they already have,” Fuehrer said. “Now it’ll be more of a long-term investment in the com-

munity.”

One of the five pillars of Greek life is service and philanthropy.

The Tri-Council members accepted Fuehrer’s idea to further their community service involvement.

“We were all very excited to jump at the opportunity [to get involved],” said Jermaine Thomas, president of NPHC and a member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc. “It’s important to build a partnership not only as a Tri-Council, but also with Oxford as a whole.”

Claire Drew, vice president of service and philanthropy in Pan-Hellenic and a member of Delta Delta Delta sorority, agreed.

“Some of our students use it. This isn’t just for Oxford, but [also] for Miami University,” Drew said. “I think the reason this is a Tri-Council effort is because we all saw someone local approach us and say [they needed] help with this. This was a great way for us to step up and serve our Oxford community.”

The Tri-Council has planned a 5k run for the 2019 Miami Family Weekend in the fall where proceeds will go to TOPSS’ efforts. “[Getting involved with] TOPSS creates a sense that everybody in the community is working toward one thing,” Thomas said. “It becomes less of, ‘I’m NPHC, and they’re IFC or Pan-Hellenic,’ and more of, ‘We’re all Greek.’” beysc@miamioh.edu

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6 CULTURE

TUESDAY, APRIL 23, 2019

HEADLEDDMIAMIOH.EDU

Bangladesh Student Association emerges with the New Year

THEO MESNICK

THE MIAMI STUDENT

DESPITE MOVING THE VENUE INDOORS, THE FESTIVAL BROUGHT ENOUGH COLOR AND CREATIVITY TO COMPENSATE. THEO MESNICK THE MIAMI STUDENT

The first thing I heard was the music – three floors down from where it was playing.

As I mounted the stairs to McGuffey 322, the room where the celebration of the Bengali New Year (“Pahela Baishakh” in Bengali) was being held, the music grew louder and louder until I found myself in the midst of a lively celebration.

The typically drab lecture hall had been completely transformed.

Colorful banners, streamers and kites hung from the walls. The lights had been dimmed, and the room was lit by string lights dangling from the ceiling. Dancers in traditional clothing performed on the raised platform at the front of the room. Young children ran to and fro, and the room was buzzing with energy.

In Bengali culture, the new year typically falls on April 14, but the celebration was held later due to limited space, Bangladesh Student Association (BSA) President Akand Sabik explained.

The holiday was originally based around the harvest but eventually grew into a cultural event. A secular celebration, Pahela Baishakh is observed across the Indian subcontinent with parades called “Mangal Shobhajatra,” festivals and traditional dance and food.

“Food is integral,” Sabik said. “It’s like a feast right now.”

Indeed, the event featured a wide array of traditional rural Bengali food including stewed lentils, mashed potatoes (although this flavorful dish did not at all resemble the American version – it included various herbs and spices), shrimp curry and more.

“Curry is a given,” Sabik said.

Anika Anisha, the organization’s social chair, said the BSA did not exist until the end of February this year. Anisha described the organization as “a baby” – in fact, this is the first public event they have ever hosted.

“We had a great time planning it,” she said.

The celebration truly was a labor of love: it was entirely funded through donations and fundraisers, and the members of the club cooked all of the food themselves. Performers from other universities attended, and Anisha hopes that someday Miami’s BSA will perform at other universities as well.

Pahela Baishakh is usually celebrated outdoors, but Anisha explained that the BSA tried to bring as much of the flavor of the holiday to McGuffey Hall as they could.

“Colors are important,” she said.

As per tradition, many of the guests were wearing white and red clothing.

Inspired by the success of the event, both Sabik and Anisha expressed desire to throw an even bigger celebration next spring. Sabik will be graduating this semester, but he explained that the BSA has already started planning next year’s Pahela Baishakh celebration. “[This event] is very close to our heart,” Anisha said.

Those interested in getting involved with the BSA can find more information on the Hub. mesnictr@miamioh.edu

Creativity City aims to re-teach creativity to college students BELLA ZARLENGO

THE MIAMI STUDENT Last week, the Farmer School of Business (FSB) celebrated World Creativity and Innovation Week with its Creativity City project for the third year in a row.

“This is the most organized iteration, as far as the look of it,” mayor of the “city,” junior finance and entrepreneurship co-major Maryanne Smith said.

Smith said she and her committee decided to create backgrounds that resembled brick walls for each exhibit, which they call properties. In the previous years, each team could set up their exhibit however they wanted.

Miami professor Jim Friedman’s Creativity in Entrepreneurship class – ESP 351 – and the Igoodea Creatives, the creativity and innovation in entrepreneurship organization, participated in the event.

“Each team is tasked with designing an event that’s supposed to engage passersby with a creative activity,” Smith said.

Some of the events included a pedal wagon that participants could actually ride through the Oxford streets. Another activity was a ‘diner’ that allowed students to come up with as many ways as possible in a limited amount of time for how eating utensils could be used in different ways.

A group of ESP 351 students, including junior IMS and entrepreneurship double major Gabe Safier and senior IMS major Breton Ballas, also created a ‘classroom confessional,’ for students to acknowledge the ways in which the classes they are taking are hindering their ability to be creative.

The group facilitated an experience that

combined an interview with a church confessional. Participants sat with a curtain between themselves and the facilitator while the facilitator asked about the student’s experiences within their classrooms. Safier and Ballas said their group ideated for almost two months before they got their final product.

“We focused on getting feedback from students in relation to their experiences with creativity being encouraged or stifled in the classroom over the course of the event with the goal of communicating said feedback directly to professors via a dossier,” Safier said.

Creativity City was held for four days past the gates leading into FSB. Smith said the event falls between Leonardo Da Vinci’s birthday and Earth Day, which signifies the start and end of World Creativity and Innovation Week.

Each property is the same every day, but teams iterated their events based on the success or lack thereof they saw the day prior.

“Some teams did completely different activities everyday,” Smith said. “Some teams did slightly different themes and some teams just kind of, if they failed the first day with one activity, they would try adding another element.”

While Creativity City is not a contest, Smith said the members of the entrepreneurship program are extremely competitive, and the teams who participated worked to get more engagement at their property than the others.

“In entrepreneurship, everyone is so close.

We have such a good community. It’s all of my friends working together,” Smith said.

At the finish of the event on Thursday afternoon, participants worked quickly to tear down the city in order to beat the approaching storm. zarlenim@miamioh.edu

CREATIVITY AND INNOVATION FLOURISHED ON THE “STREETS” OF CREATIVITY CITY, AND THIS YEAR THE EVENT EXPANDED TO INCLUDE MULTPLE COLLEGES ACROSS MIAMI’S CAMPUS. JUGAL JAIN PHOTO EDITOR

DATTILEC@MIAMIOH.EDU

CULTURE 7

TUESDAY, APRIL 23, 2019

Innovative wheels:

Pedal Wagon attracts attention across campus CÉILÍ DOYLE

MANAGING EDITOR I slammed the side door to my house shut, and began my weekly Wednesday jog to art history. I glanced down at my phone and noticed the time: 10:02.

Class started in three minutes.

I was going to be late … again.

I reached the intersection of Spring and Campus when the sound of a bell pierced through the chatter of the podcast playing in my headphones.

“Do you need a ride!?” someone shouted from what appeared to be a pedal wagon.

Quick glance at my watch: 10:06.

“Yes!” I yelled back, abandoning all apprehension I felt about this strange contraption if it meant I could avoid walking into the art building 15 minutes after class started.

I hopped onto the pedal wagon and gripped the metal bar as a woman handed me a pen and a waiver to sign.

“What’s this?” I asked, completely disoriented.

“We’re the Pedal Wagon,” the woman said.

“Dylan brought us here for Creativity City,” she added, gesturing to a kid across the wagon from me who waved.

What? I thought to myself. *** “How can you grab attention differently?”

Senior Dylan Castner is a finance and entrepreneurship double major who wanted to figure out how to make Miami University students stop and stare.

Dylan helped plan Miami Farmer School of Business (FSB)’s annual Creativity City during World Creativity and Innovation Week (WCIW).

“It’s like a farmer’s market of ideas,” Castner said.

Castner and Creativity City mayor and junior Maryanne Smith believed that the next big step to promoting both the event and creativity overall was to find a way to get the whole campus involved.

“People here [in Farmer] know it,” Dylan said.

“But creativity runs through everybody.”

One way Dylan and Maryanne wanted to emphasize that belief was by reaching out to the Pedal Wagon, a “multi-passenger, pedal-powered, rolling celebration,” according to its website, to see if they would be willing to donate a wagon to Oxford’s campus for a day to give rides to students.

Maryanne, also a finance and entrepreneurship double major, saw the Pedal Wagon as an opportunity to build a bridge between FSB and the rest of the Miami community.

Dylan had reached out to the company’s owner, Miami alum and former entrepreneurship major Jack Heekin, last year, but the company couldn’t make it work because of timing.

This year, Jack was happy to make the request come together.

“This year we tried to get as many colleges involved as possible,” Maryanne said. “And if the relationship with the Pedal Wagon continues next year, we want it to be a way for students to travel to different city centers across campus.”

Alumni find Miami different than they left it KELLY MCKEWIN

THE MIAMI STUDENT

PEDDLING THROUGH THE PETALS OF OXFORD, THE WAGON GAVE STUDENTS A FUN ALTERNATIVE TO WALKING. JUGAL JAIN PHOTO EDITOR

While Jack did not invent the Pedal Wagon technology, which was developed in the Netherlands, his company continually strives for the innovation Creativity City promotes.

“Nationally speaking these things are geared towards pub crawls,” Pedal Wagon manager and Miami alumna Jen Bergman said. “That’s what they’re known for, but what we really like to do is look at it from the basic standpoint as a transportation vehicle … we’re one of the only companies in the U.S. that allow kids on board, so we do kid-friendly rides, we focus on parks and landscapes and put art murals into our tours.”

Pedal Wagon is focused on drawing a connection between their wagons and the residents of the communities they serve.

While the wagons may be used as a tourist attraction, the company wants to promote local businesses and encourage residents to see their city from a different point of view.

“It goes pretty hand-in-hand with what [Maryanne and Dylan] are doing here,” Jen said.

Maryanne is hopeful that next year they will be able to expand the event beyond FSB’s gates.

She wants the ideas Creativity City inspires and espouses to combine inventive and expressive

DESTIGMATIZING PERIODS

New student outreach combines philanthropy and policy to combat period poverty JILL COFSKEY

THE MIAMI STUDENT Periods Rock! That’s the message that junior Maddie DePaoli and first-year grad student Molly Little are working to create through their new student-led outreach program of the same name.

On April 30 and May 2, Periods Rock! will be collecting boxes of unopened feminine care products at tables in Armstrong from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

DePaoli and Little are looking for products including pads, tampons, diva cups and panty liners to donate to women who are struggling to gain access to them due to poverty. Donors will also receive a free raffle ticket for each box donated.

Along with battling poverty, destigmatizing menstruation is crucial for Little and DePaoli.

“Instead of hiding or being embarrassed, just kind of owning it and making it a part of everyday conversation is a really important piece,” said Little.

Returning to ‘Such A Place’

“That’s why we are calling it Periods Rock!

With an exclamation point,” said DePaoli.

“Gotta have an exclamation point in the name.”

Periods Rock! is a new program as of this semester, driven by Richelle Forbotta, the Coordinator of the Dennis L. Carlson Sexuality Education Studies Center, and DePaoli and Little’s passion for meeting the practical needs of the community.

“If you’re in poverty, and your decision is food on the table for my child, or get myself a box of tampons, you’re going to go with the former,” DePaoli said. “But it’s still important. It’s a need. You can’t avoid your period.”

DePaoli and Little have already been busy collecting donations and expect to make their first large donation at the end of the month.

They are currently in contact with local middle schools, the Hope and Haven Houses in Middletown and Hamilton and an organization called Street Beat in Milwaukee. (Street Beat is an outreach that works with impoverished and homeless teens).

“We try to keep it as local as we can, but

creativity.

“Creativity is naturally unlearned through school, and so what we do in entrepreneurship is try and reteach it and relearn it and practice it actively,” Maryanne said. “[Creativity City] is just an opportunity where we can show people what we do and give them, even just the smallest piece, of a tool to practice it.” *** Back on the Pedal Wagon, I watched students’ bemused faces look up as we pedaled down Spring towards Armstrong, ringing a bell every so often.

This is utterly ridiculous, I kept thinking. But so fun.

As we neared the intersection of Maple and Spring, I smiled and thanked the woman who had shouted at me earlier, asking if I needed a ride.

I hopped off my seat and took off for class.

As I reached the door to the art building, I glanced down at my watch: 10:11 a.m.

Not too bad, I thought to myself. doyleca3@miamioh.edu

we try to think out of the box a little bit too,” Little said. “If for some reason we couldn’t find a donor here, we could send it to Street Beat.”

While Periods Rock! is primarily focused on the immediate needs of providing hygiene products, the vision goes beyond that. Feminine hygiene products are taxed at rates that are much higher than taxes on other items, an obstacle that can’t be overcome without policy changes.

“We’ve got folks like Maddie and I who are drumming up donations and we’ve got other undergraduate students who are working on policy,” said Little. “ We’re trying to take a multi-faceted approach to it. It’s great to donate tampons and do those things but we’re also thinking about how to make the future better, trying to change some of these policies that have created period poverty in the first place.”

Periods Rock! is taking on a massive social issue, one that requires diverse talents and resources to overcome. While donations are the most immediate need, there is a long term need for multi-disciplinary advocacy.

“I think it’d be a good experience for anyone from political science to marketing and business majors to just understand what philanthropy looks like from your discipline,” Little said. “If you are a woman or know a woman, this is the place.” cofskeje@miamioh.edu

With dorm renovations and building updates, Miami University’s campus changes slightly every year, but still feels like home to returning students. However, for Miami alumni — some of whom make return visits over the course of decades — coming back to Oxford and all its changes can bring with it a mix of emotions.

For Ben Garbarek, a 2008 graduate, returning to campus is a reminder of both his years in Oxford and all the years that have passed since graduation.

“It can be bittersweet. On the one hand, you can go to a place where nothing has changed, and it makes you nostalgic for the time you had on campus and the life you had when this was your home,” Garbarek said.

“But this is a different place than when I was in school. This campus has moved on just like I’ve moved on in life.”

The ever-present construction on Miami’s campus is one of the biggest indicators for many alumni that time has passed since their days on campus. There are more buildings on campus today than there were even 10 years ago, and the construction of the Armstrong Student Center in 2011 astounds most alumni who were students before that time and recall the days when Shriver acted as the student center.

Garbarek believed the renovations have extended Uptown as well. He recalled many of the “dingy” bars during his day as unsuitable places to bring a visiting parent or relative to dinner during Family Weekend, but has found on his return trips to Oxford that most of the establishments feel nicer and more recently renovated.

Lara Bentley, a 1989 graduate of Miami’s Western Program, has also found that much of the construction on Miami’s campus seems to be aimed at upgrading the buildings, but said the timeless restaurants and locales around Oxford still make her recall her days on campus fondly.

“This campus has moved on, just like I’ve moved on in life.”

“There’s a lot of things missing, but there are a few classic, iconic places. Dorsey Hall is still there. Uptown still has Bruno’s, which I was exceedingly pleased to find out,” Bentley said. “When I was at Miami, if you had a dollar you could have a slice of pizza and a Coke from Bruno’s. I remember the pizza being better though.”

Bentley says she often finds herself noticing the things that are missing when she’s on campus. While she’s always nostalgic upon returning to Oxford, she feels a sense of loss every time she learns about a historic Miami building being torn down.

“My husband and my son always joke that when I’m on campus, I run around saying ‘That wasn’t that way when I was here,’” Bentley said.

Garbarek has had similar experiences, but says it’s long-standing traditions and the things that make Miami special that ultimately stand out. For as many changes as he’s noticed, Miami ultimately still feels like Miami whenever he returns.

“It’s that old Miami, new Miami thing.

As much as things change, they stay the same,” Garbarek said. “Red bricks don’t change. Slant Walk hasn’t changed. Upham Arch hasn’t changed. Sure, there might be a new student center, but the places you go to take pictures on campus are the same places you’ve always gone to take pictures.” mckewikm@miamioh.edu

Humor

8

SERIOMP@MIAMIOH.EDU

TUESDAY, APRIL 23, 2019

The Humor section’s takes on salmon The following reflects the various opinions of the Humor section.

Editor’s Note: This past week, the Humor section delved deep into the controversies swirling around salmon. Due to confusion and a sudden fight that broke out between two of our writers, our team could not reach a consensus on the subject. Below are just a few of the more thoughtful ideas about the topic.

actually seen a salmon? I don’t think so. The people pulling the strings want you to think that salmon is real. NASA wants you to believe that a pink fish served best with lemons and dill swims the rivers. Big Fish wants you to think that a fish that scales waterfalls are feasted upon by bears. And don’t get me started on bears. Big hairy raccoons? I don’t think so. Wake up, sheeple – the only fish that exists is cod. Everything else is brainwashing.”

-Michael Serio, anti-salmoner

“Salmon! The official color of aggressive responses to rejection! Salmon! It’ll have you saying ‘I shouldn’t have boarded his dad’s boat!’”

“Scientists have recently developed a pants color scale ranging from black to salmon in order to measure how much a young male looks up to his father.”

“It’s good” -Name redacted, due to fear of waterfalls

“Yum”

-Name Redacted

“Salmon! Why have a personality when you can wear pink pants? Sa-lmon!”

-Sean Mullee, color urologist “Yum.” -Name redacted, due to fear of bears “Salmon doesn’t exist. I am confident about this. Think about this: have you ever

“Salmon. Oh, salmon. They are the elk of the sea, the meerkat of the chilled tundra waters. I’ve fought my fair share of hearty beasts, fleshy and strong like John Stamos. My father, a bricklayer, once took me to a supple stream in the summer of ‘09.

As the water gushed down the slender, curvy river, my father, a bricklayer, thrust his rod into my hand. I had never felt a rod so strong before. I felt like a man, a man like my father, a bricklayer.

As the scaly beast tugged at my rod, I fought hard as the pulsating vibrations shook my core. Finally, at long last, my rod was satiated, expended of its raw energy. The juicy, thick salmon that lay in my hand could not compare to the bondage my father, a bricklayer, and I felt. It was a union strong as can be, like my aunt Kathy and a pack of Marlboro Reds.”

-Noah Bertrand, prospective bricklayer “It’s a common bacterial disease that affects the intestinal tract, and Tucker Carlson says I’ll get it if Jesus sees me talking to minorities.”

-Name redacted, due to fear of change

MU changes school mascot to an Inostrancevia named ‘Sketchy Pete’ NOAH BERTRAND

ASST. HUMOR EDITOR Miami University has recently changed their official school mascot from the RedHawk to the Inostrancevia: a canine, hairless predator with a heart of gold.

The official explanation given by the Miami administration was that the new mascot,“Sketchy Pete”, will give them the “edge” that Miami needs.

“We felt that we weren’t doing enough for our students,” said spokeswoman Lisa Braune, “So, we decided to bring in a carnivorous therapsid from the Late Permian era.”

The mascot was unveiled on the opening day of the 2019 football season to thunderous applause. Sketchy Pete ran from the locker room straight to the center of Yager Stadium , like a true showman. He then darted left, attacking and subsequently eating three cheerleaders – an event dubbed “unfortunate but necessary” by the head cheerleading coach.

Sketchy Pete is adored by staff and alumni alike. Donations to Yager, academic buildings and administrative salaries have increased dramatically since Sketchy Pete’s arrival.

However, some of the student body still remain confused.

“It just doesn’t feel very different,” said sophomore Daisy Bryan. “When they said they were going to change our mascot, I was expecting something new and cool like a Teletubbie, not a sabre-toothed predator from 250 million years ago.”

These feelings are being echoed across campus as displeasure grows. A student-led petition

calls for a vote on a new mascot. The petition has garnered attention as its signature count rises.

The Student spoke with the petition’s creator, Doolie Cowl, about why he felt the need to act.

“I think that the administration rushed to the easiest option without considering any alternatives,” Cowl said.

Some of the mascot alternatives Cowl listed on the petition include: a turtle, mud, windmills, Teflon, God and a horde of lizards, among others.

In an official press release to address this displeasure, representatives for the Miami administration issued the following explanation: “We understand the displeasure with change.

It’s hard. But when it is a change for the better, such as a change towards an 11-foot mass of muscle, it is necessary to face this difficulty,” Miami president Prawn wrote in an email to the student body. “We are so committed to change that we have decided to allow a vote for the new mascot, as requested. Students will have the opportunity to vote to keep Sketchy Pete or to bring back the classic Miami RedHawk.”

The vote will take place during commencement weekend.

Miami has already purchased dozens of voting booths, and said that the voting will be in-person only, as they “don’t want fair-weather students voting online.”

Will students decide to go back to the old ways, or to leap forward into the distant past?

“Either way , the university seems committed to making the changes that they think their students need,” Cowl said. bertrant@miamioh.edu

THE INOSTRANCEVIA HAS A HEART OF GOLD DESPITE ITS CARNIVOROUS TENDENCIES. ASST. HUMOR EDITOR NOAH BERTRAND

THE ILLUSTRIOUS SALMON HAS CAUGHT EVERY MAN WHO HAS TRIED TO CATCH HIM. DESIGN EDITOR CONNOR WELLS

Theater program stuns with latest production of ‘Three Straight Hours of Yelling’ MICHAEL SERIO HUMOR EDITOR

The voices of the theater program fell on what are now deaf ears last Saturday after their recent production of “Three Straight Hours of Yelling,” a play heralded by critics as perfect for amateur theater.

The play, written by an old hermit Josiah, who is known for screaming at kids about famed singer-songwriter Kelly Clarkson, features a series of actors on the stage screaming about various issues and events.

“Theater majors love to be angry about things, if we’re not angry, we don’t feel at home,” whispered sophomore Larry Stedson, a theater major wearing tight short shorts.

“We feel like this play is important for our acting muscle because it allows us to be angry about everything.”

What starts off as a night of yelling about the pain of being a teenager in a world, slowly devolves into incoherent screeching, which might be described as that of a fruit bat fondling a supple – yet firm – honey dew melon, or, “a great college theater performance,” as sophomore Samantha Niamore put it.

“The topic that went on for the longest were just the words ‘we important!’” said audience member and junior Jerome Polman while get-

Please send hate mail directly to the author.

On second thought – don’t bother.

ting his bloody ears checked. “No one seemed to dispute this, but they kept screaming about it for about an hour anyways.”

The play also incorporated moments to yell about Bowflex, Culture Club’s 1983 hit “Karma Chameleon” and the word “environment,” which seemed to confuse audiences with what, exactly, they were trying to get across.

Though the play started off with screaming, it found its stride within the characters themselves — played by pale, gaunt actors who look like they haven’t slept in years.

“I really wanted to dig into the character of ‘screaming man number two,’” Stedson said.

“There is just so much to delve into, like, why exactly is he screaming about hip-hop dance shows for children?”

Other characters included were screaming woman number four, shrieking child number two and Chuck, a character that didn’t scream at all, staring menacingly at the audience, like he was about to tell them how they were going to die.

Audiences were expected to stay for the entire three hours, and anyone that tried to leave in the middle of the performance was stopped by two greased-up, shirtless men.

It was good. But it wasn’t “Othello.” seriomp@miamioh.edu

SERIOMP@MIAMIOH.EDU

HUMOR 9

TUESDAY, APRIL 23, 2019

Trickle-down win!

FSB to donate spare chandeliers to College of Arts and Sciences SEAN MULLEE

THE MIAMI STUDENT

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL THIS?” DESIGN EDITOR CONNOR WELLS

Five schools Miami could fucking destroy in woodland combat WILL BABBITT

THE MIAMI STUDENT Before buckling down and becoming petals of the ever-blossoming flower that is the Miami community, many Redhawks visited other schools in the U.S.A and throughout our dying planet to see if they might fit in.

Most of those Redhawks came to the conclusion that everyone at the following schools is a dumb, little, good-for-nothing wastoid. The assclowns attending the “universities” listed would absolutely get crushed by our bitchin’ skills.

Buckle in for some fuckery in the foliage.

Kent State University (Kent, Ohio) Kent State University is a public research university in Kent, Ohio. The university also includes seven regional campuses in Northeast Ohio and additional facilities in the region and internationally. Jesus Christ, it’s like they’re begging for us to kick their asses. With stupid unsuccessful alumni such as Michael Keaton (loser) and Chrissie Hynde (loser), we could easily wreck these pathetic barbarians in the deep woods.

Coastal Carolina University (Conway, South Carolina) Coastal Carolina University, commonly referred to as CCU or Coastal, is a public liberal arts university in Conway, South Carolina, which is located in the Myrtle Beach metropolitan area. Man oh man, just think how underprepared they would be for a ragtag woodland scuffle in an unpredictable midwestern climate! They’re sitting ducks.

We are fueled with passion and vigor, and our blows would rock them to their core.

How sweet, how satisfying it would be to really brawl these folks in the woods. Mother of Christ and all things holy, do these flaccid, puerile ruffians think they can surf down a switchback trail, catching us off guard with their peaceful aquatic auras and stifle our efforts by convincing us to embrace the principles of peace and love for all men? Hell no.

We own the woods. Taste our tomahawks, you insolent buffoons of the south.

Arrowhead Bible College (Fishtail, Montana) Arrowhead Bible College offers a oneyear program of study, centered around personal development and discipleship. In turn, Miami University offers destruction from above as the tree cover allows our communications majors to descend from choppers blasting “Fortunate Son” like paratroopers and charge these Arrowhead dorks with the force of a thousand dragons. Oh, they’re gonna fire arrows at us? Pathetic. I bet their arrowheads are dull and ineffective. I mean, it’s almost laughable how unsharp their arrows probably are. They’d probably bounce right off of our strong midwestern bodies like a coy pebble flirting with the placid surface of a body of freshwater.

American University (Washington D.C) With eight schools and over 160 programs including bachelor’s, master’s and doctoral degrees, American University students choose a personalized curriculum of theoretical study and experiential learning, taught by internationally-recognized faculty in courses that take them from the classroom, to the nation’s capital, and all around the globe. Good God, it would just be so damn easy to spook those Massachusetts Avenue plebeians by running around them in a big circle in the darker part of a North American forest and making really scary animal noises. They’ll be rendered useless by our scary circle as our furious tootsies carry us with weightless ease across the uneven terrain that we know and love.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (J.K Rowling’s HP Extended Universe) There’s a reason why those pathetic wand-wielding little shits are scared of the Forbidden Forest. It’s because we’re sitting in there on our haunches disguised as bushes with molotov cocktails, waiting for that perfect moment to strike. They can bring all the stupid creatures and special spells their little hearts desire, but it won’t matter. They can’t stop the ‘Hawks. babbitwc@miamioh.edu

In a perfect display of the benefits of supply-side economic policy, this week the Farmer School of Business (FSB) plans to donate 15 spare chandeliers to the College of Arts and Sciences (CAS) for installation in Upham Hall.

“We were running out of room in our treasure dungeon and just weren’t ready to part with J.P. Morgan’s cryofrozen brain,” proclaimed Cory Hammond, a representative of the Dean’s office from atop his golden throne whilst being fed grapes by shirtless Dividends employees. “It was a gift from Deloitte, after all!”

The decision comes after a recent donation to FSB from yet another C-suite bourgeois with a son who needs to manage their estate. The donation funded this year’s new chandelier models, the installation of which cost only the lives of several maintenance workers.

FSB students offered glowing reviews of the donation to the CAS. “We’re all happy to help them,” said finance major Asher Lang. “It’s good to give them this experience now, because none of them will ever work hard and become rich like my daddy.”

Lang’s father recently gave FSB a marble centerpiece for the foyer, which depicts in-

dustry titan John D. Rockefeller spewing oil upon blue collar laborers hoisting him up; an elegant interpretation of the ways wealth spills over from the lips of the wealthy to those below.

The Dean’s representative also urged those “who feel that $100,000 is simply not enough to pay for education” to continue sending donations to FSB, as that money will “eventually” find its way to the hands of a

“It’s good to give them this experience now, because none of them will ever work hard and become rich like my daddy.”

- Asher Lang starving theatre major.

The generous chandelier donation also includes several gold-plated trash cans, marble pillars, and an out-of-tune grand piano no one in FSB could figure out how to fix.

“What the fuck are we supposed to do with all this?” history professor Alan Barnes said, who now has so much wealth, he doesn’t know how to handle it! mulleesp@miamioh.edu

Local woman debates whether to stop by office hours as suggested KIRBY DAVIS COLUMNIST

Sophomore Karen Bailey, 19, was spotted anxiously pacing outside her history professor’s office in Upham Hall on the afternoon of Monday, April 23.

Bailey said Byron Fields’ office door was ajar, possibly for welcoming students in to chat. However, she said she also heard some papers rustling, which meant he was probably busy.

“He definitely seemed frustrated last Thursday when he asked why none of us except that kiss-ass in the front row were going to office hours,” Bailey said. “But there are, like, a lot of us, so if we all went he’d probably be annoyed.”

Bailey arrived at Upham approximately 20 minutes into Fields’s scheduled office hours, which she meticulously timed so she would seem conscientious but not irritatingly enthusiastic.

As she climbed the stairs to the second floor of the academic building, Bailey contemplated

whether she really needed to consult Fields on her recent paper. She’d learned a ton about the American Civil War in high school, so she felt pretty confident she nailed this essay on why Abraham Lincoln was actually a dick. Bailey had even done some of the readings for this unit.

Fields said he was well aware of Bailey’s presence outside his office, and wished she would just make up her mind already, because the sound of her Hunter boots squeaking back and forth on the hallway tile floor was getting annoying.

“I already read her paper, and would be more than happy to suggest some edits,” Fields said.

“It would probably take five minutes. Maybe 10, if she wants to discuss the rest of the paper, too, but I have office hours until 3 p.m. and it’s only, what, 1:15?”

At press time, Bailey decided that she probably shouldn’t bother him, and that she would totally start going to office hours next semester. daviskn3@miamioh.edu

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Sports

10

VINELCA@MIAMIOH.EDU

TUESDAY, APRIL 23, 2019

Competition remains as spring practice ends

STELA GENERATES HER OWN KUKOC LEGACY

CHRIS VINEL

SPORTS EDITOR When Chuck Martin looked around the David and Anita Dauch Indoor Sports Center on Saturday, he didn’t spot as many experienced faces as he was accustomed to seeing.

Gus Ragland and Brad Koenig are gone, and Kenny Young and Alonzo Smith left, too. They and the rest of the first recruiting class Martin signed after becoming Miami’s head football coach graduated, leaving a large flock of younger RedHawks wrestling to replace them.

“We lost 19 seniors, and a lot them were starters, obviously,” Martin said after Saturday’s spring-practice-ending Spring Showcase. “But, you forget about the ones that are really good backups that played a lot of reps. There’s not only starting positions open but, even more so, even backup positions that you’re trying to create that depth at certain spots.”

Before Martin, Ragland, Koenig and co. arrived, the RedHawks had gone 0-12 the previous season. Over the next few years, Miami steadily increased its win total, topping out at six in both 2016 and 2018.

AJ Mayer and Jackson Williamson are engaged in the highest-profile position battle, as the two quarterbacks are vying to replace former stalwart Ragland. Neither separated himself during spring practice, so the competition will continue into the summer.

“They both had good days, today,” Martin said. “It seems like, when one of them is a little off, so is the other one. They’ve been pretty mirrored.”

While the group returns more experience than the quarterbacks, the starting running back position remains open. Martin expects to utilize a three-player committee, staffed by Maurice Thomas, Jaylon Bester and Davion Johnson. Thomas missed all of the spring with an injury.

“Hopefully, I’ve got three that can do the job, and then we’re developing two younger kids,” Martin said. “Tyre [Shelton] showed some stuff and [Mitchell] Burton showed some stuff.”

Even the incoming freshmen, who arrived a semester early, started to establish themselves.

Linebacker Luke Bolden flew across the field to deliver a highlight reel hit while tackling running back Brandon Labrie.

The play was shown on multiple local television channels.

No matter the position or class, Martin likes the improvement he’s seen during the past month.

“There’s a lot of younger guys that, three or four weeks ago, couldn’t even really function, that are now understanding and playing football the way it’s supposed to be played,” Martin said.

Fall camp is scheduled to kick off on Aug. 2. Twenty-nine days later, Miami begins the regular season at Iowa on Aug. 31. vinelca@miamioh.edu @ChrisAVinel

STELA KUKOC DOESN’T SEE HER DAD, TONI, AS A THREE-TIME NBA CHAMPION. HE’S JUST HER DAD, LOUDLY CHEERING HER ON FROM THE STANDS. THE MIAMI STUDENT SARAH BROSSART.

BENNETT WISE STAFF WRITER

To Stela, Toni is her dad.

She doesn’t make him out to be a superhero. He’s just a 6-foot-11 inch Croatian man with three NBA Championship rings.

She doesn’t remember much about his 13year NBA career.

She remembers moving to three different cities before returning to her birthplace in Highland Park, a northern Chicago suburb, once Toni Kukoc was traded to the Milwaukee Bucks in August 2002.

That was just her life.

“A lot of people ask me, ‘Oh, what is it like to have your dad play in the NBA?’” Miami volleyball senior Stela Kukoc said. “Like, I know and understand that he did a lot in the NBA and in Croatia, but I don’t know anything different than that. He’s just my dad.” *** Inside Millett Hall, Stela’s different.

She’s energetic, constantly supporting her volleyball teammates and coaches around her.

She’s passionate, celebrating modestly after winning a point before dialing back into the match.

She’s a leader, directing mid-point traffic and encouraging the younger players on the RedHawks roster.

Well, she puts up that facade for the public.

“Until the end of her junior year, I don’t think she took a reason to step into my office and look me in the eye,” volleyball coach Carolyn Condit said. “I think she realized that we could talk, and I was willing to help her. She’s just one of those kids who would meld into the cement if she wanted to. She just doesn’t want any attention on her.”

STELA KUKOC ATTEMPTS TO SPIKE THE BALL DURING HER SENIOR SEASON. AS AN OUTSIDE HITTER, STELA AND HER 207 KILLS FINISHED THIRD ON THE 2018 REDHAWKS IN THAT CATEGORY. CONTRIBUTED BY MIAMI ATHLETICS.

Attention came to her at a young age, as it was something she couldn’t avoid due to the name on the back of her jersey.

“Sometimes I felt the pressure, because I knew that during high school games or here, people would sometimes mention my dad,” Stela said. “I kind of felt like I had to play well for him.”

One of Stela’s defining qualities is her independence. She’s had it since she started playing sports as a child.

Her two-time Olympic silver medalist father never pushed her to play basketball, but she tried: Wasn’t her style.

“For some reason, she liked volleyball better, and I was okay with that,” Toni said. “I only wanted her to get the No. 7, which she refused. She has her own mind and opinion about things. There’s not much you can influence her with. That’s her trademark, and everyone knows that.” She elected to wear No. 4.

Stela gravitated toward volleyball and soccer.

“For the longest time, I thought I wanted to play soccer,” Stela said. “I have an older brother (Marin) that played basketball at the University of Pennsylvania, so my dad kind of got his basketball fix from him. I did my own thing, and he never really pushed anything on me.”

Toni did, however, push his booming, Eastern European input among the crowd at both of his children’s sporting endeavors.

“You can usually hear him screaming from behind the bench,” Stela said. “Whether it be here or in a teeny high school gym. He would not hold back being super loud and screaming.”

It even got out of hand sometimes, Stela said.

It’s nothing uncommon – Toni’s just a supportive soccer dad (minus the minivan, mainly because he wouldn’t fit).

During one of her youth soccer games, he didn’t always agree with some of the referees’ calls or plays made by Stela’s opponents. So much so, that at one of her soccer games, the referee blew the whistle, turned to him and told him to be quiet.

“Maybe I’m just too focused on the game to hear any of that,” Stela said. “I know that my brother or my mom would have to hit him to be quiet because he’ll be yelling about random stuff.”

In Toni’s defense, he just wanted to support his kids.

“You want to follow your kids and encourage them. You have to give them support on whatever they do,” Toni said. “I actually pride myself on knowing what sport is all about, so yes, I did say those things.”

Other parents would look at him, irritated by his antics. Not because of his complaining, but because of what he would try to do from the stands.

“I would actually anticipate what is going to happen,” Toni said. “I would tell her where to run and what to do. That’s what the problem was. That’s why they didn’t want me to yell.

They would always say, ‘Oh, they have a coach.

You don’t need to do this yelling stuff.’”

To put aside the chaos of sports and screaming dad, the Kukoc family takes some time off every summer.

The family sojourns to Split, Croatia, where both Toni and his wife, Renata, grew up. It’s a time when Marin and Stela could be away from their responsibilities, and Toni away from his advisory role with the Chicago Bulls.

After finishing her final season of volleyball late last November, Stela will graduate next month with a degree in kinesiology. Still undecided about graduate school, she’ll have an opportunity to relax and think about her future.

“I wanted to go into physical therapy for a while, but I switched to clinical and mental health counseling,” Stela said. “As mental health has become more important, it has played a bigger role for me. I just had a liking for it.”

They spend the first part of the vacation

week with their extended family before drifting around the Adriatic Sea, fishing and hopping to Brac, Maslinica or the other islands along the Croatian coast.

“At that time, we have nothing to do here in the States,” Toni said. “We go there to see the family, and you know how mad the grandparents would be. They’d kill us if we didn’t bring our kids to them!”

Separate from her Croatian roots and her team, Stela connects with a third family: her sisters of Kappa Kappa Gamma (Kappa).

“We are with the team basically 24/7 and practice five hours a day with each other,” Stela said. “It was nice to have a separate outlet.”

She even decided to live with three Kappas, rather than with other athletes.

The sorority allowed her to miss certain events due to volleyball, but she still tries to be involved with as many events as possible, even the ones that take place during the season.

“It has been a very easy time to be able to balance [academics, volleyball and Kappa],” Stela said. “Unfortunately, I can’t do as much as I want to, but it hasn’t been too difficult, because they have been so understanding about everything.”

Little to Stela’s knowledge, Condit used her as a test.

A few of her players have approached her since with the interest in rushing a sorority.

The ground rules were simple: school first, volleyball second and sorority third.

“She got really into it her first year but never missed a step with volleyball or academics,” Condit said. “That was important to her, I could tell. I’ve even had two kids ask me about it since, and I told them the same thing. ‘Keep your priorities straight.’”

This never presented an issue for Stela, a three time Academic All-MAC selection. *** Stela took the “Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” approach when it came to Miami.

She went on an official visit to a Big Ten school, the University of Iowa: too big. Next, came Wake Forest University: too small. Finally, Miami: just right.

She already knew Olivia Rusek, the 2017 MAC Player of the Year, from their days of club volleyball in high school.

“I met the rest of the team and loved them all,” Stela said. “They were all so funny and so welcoming, and that’s been true throughout all my years. All the teammates I’ve had have become some of my best friends.”

But there was a connection to Miami that the big man had in mind: Ron Harper.

Toni collected his three championships with Harper during their run with the Chicago Bulls from 1996-’98. Harper graduated from Miami in 1986 after taking the RedHawks to two straight NCAA Tournament appearances.

The Miami connection stuck out to Toni.

“When Stela was being recruited by Miami, I talked to him,” Toni said. “He always told me that if I ever needed to talk to someone over there, or if I needed any type of advice or something, to let him know.”

He said that it was Stela’s own decision to pick the right school, but he has always been there to help.

“She always had a feeling I wasn’t a volleyball player,” Toni said. “I would always tell her it doesn’t matter what game it is. I know the game aspect, the stuff that comes in order to win games, play the right way and play hard.”

Stela said she knew he tried to help when it came to any sport – mainly basketball. But volleyball?

“Her dad always told me she was the athlete of the family,” Condit said. “I know she had to get through a lot because he was probably too loud in the stands in high school, cheering her on or getting on her case. But, he doesn’t know a damn thing about volleyball.”

Well, that’s why he’s not a volleyball player.

He’s just Stela’s dad. wisebm@miamioh.edu @bennettmwise

VINELCA@MIAMIOH.EDU

Ball State and weather submerge Miami in weekend series CHRIS VINEL

SPORTS EDITOR For the first time this season, an opponent had the Miami RedHawks reeling in a weekend series.

The Ball State Cardinals (25-14, 9-4 Mid-American) claimed the opening two games of the three-game set, before Miami (30-9, 11-4 MAC) won Game Three to avoid the sweep.

It was the RedHawks’ first series loss of 2019.

Statistic of the weekend Ball State came to Oxford and, with a 3-2 Saturday victory, became the first team to defeat Miami at Hayden Park this season. The Cardinals repeated with a 6-1 victory in the first game of Sunday’s doubleheader.

The RedHawks were previously a perfect 14-0 at home but now sit at 15-2.

Before playing Miami, the Cardinals had a subpar 5-9 away record.

They now sport a 7-10 mark in that category.

What happened On Friday, Miami freshman Sam Bachman was dealing. Through 5 2/3 innings, he struck out seven and hadn’t allowed a hit. His effort was matched

SPORTS 11

TUESDAY, APRIL 23, 2019

by Ball State sophomore Drey Jameson, who allowed only one hit and K’d nine through five.

Neither team could break the 0-0 tie.

Then, the rain started.

The game, to be picked up exactly where it left off in the top of the sixth, was postponed until Saturday morning.

an RBI bunt single to bring home the first run of the ballgame. An RBI single into right field — Ball State’s second and last hit — tacked on two more runs.

Down 3-0 in the bottom of the ninth, the RedHawks loaded the bases with one out but plated only two of those runners. They fell 3-2.

Once again, weather forced Saturday’s second game to be canceled,

“I really will give a lot of credit to our guys for grinding it out and finding a way to win a baseball game when you have that much frustration built into the beginning of the game.”

-Danny Hayden “It was a really good start for Sam,” Miami head coach Danny Hayden said.

“I mean, it was fun to watch. That’s one of the first true pitchers’ duels, I would say, we’ve had ourselves. We’ve had some good starts from our guys. We’ve run into a couple good starts from other teams, too. Watching those two guys [Bachman and Jameson] go back and forth was pretty cool to watch.”

The Cardinals got on the scoreboard in the top of the seventh inning.

After two Miami errors, they utilized

Spencer Mraz used only his fastball in near no-hitter

turning Sunday into a doubleheader.

Junior starter Spencer Mraz, after taking a no-hit bid into the eighth inning in his last outing, didn’t have the same type of luck against the Cardinals. He allowed five runs in the first three innings, and Miami never recovered.

Each team scored a run in the ninth, as Ball State won 6-1.

“Game One [on Saturday] was frustrating, when you have that many opportunities to score, and you just can’t get the big hit,” Hayden said. “I didn’t think we played a bad game offensively, but we just could not get a big hit when we needed one.”

In the opening inning of the series finale, the RedHawks earned their first lead of the series on a one-run single by junior catcher Cal Elvers.

Starting in the top of the third, the two squads bounced the lead back and forth.

The Cardinals jumped ahead with a two-run double, but Miami knotted up the score with a run-scoring double play in the bottom of the inning. In its next at-bat, Ball State added three more tallies to take a 5-2 lead.

In the bottom of the sixth, junior infielder Landon Stephens chopped an infield single that scored a run. During the same play, a second runner crossed home plate on a Ball State throwing error to make it 5-4.

The next inning, Miami seized the lead for good.

Redshirt junior left fielder Kyle Winkler walked with the bases loaded to tie the game, before junior infielder Will Vogelgesang delivered a base hit into right-center field that brought in two more.

The RedHawks held on for the 7-5 victory.

“I really will give a lot of credit to our guys for grinding it out and finding a way to win a baseball game when you have that much frustration built into the beginning of the game,” Hayden said.

AT 7 1/3 INNINGS, SPENCER MRAZ ‘S START AGAINST BOWLING GREEN WAS THE LONGEST OF HIS COLLEGIATE CAREER. THE MIAMI STUDENT MATT HECKERT

CHRIS VINEL

SPORTS EDITOR Spencer Mraz almost threw Miami baseball’s first no-hitter since 1980 by using only one pitch.

During his April 13 start against Bowling Green, the junior starter fed the Falcons 110 consecutive fastballs and, for seven innings, he looked to be writing his name in the record books.

Mraz completed seven full frames before allowing his first and only hit of the afternoon — a single to Neil Lambert.

After Mraz got one more out in the eighth, his head coach, Danny Hayden, removed him. The righty ended the game with 13 strikeouts and only dished out two runs, three walks and one hit while earning his fifth win of the season.

But, during the outing, no one congratulated him. Not even his coaches dared to talk to him, and he was OK with that.

“I don’t even think anyone was looking at me when I was in the dugout,” Mraz said.

Junior catcher Cal Elvers gave Mraz a fist bump at the end of every inning before heading for the water cooler and leaving his batterymate alone.

The RedHawks didn’t want to jinx what they knew was turning into a special performance.

Coming into the game, Mraz felt like he had his good stuff.

“I was extremely confident,” Mraz said. “My [pregame bullpen session] was one of the best I’ve had this year … My curveball was looking really good and so was my changeup in the bullpen. But, after the first two innings, we [Mraz and Elvers] realized we didn’t really need them, to be honest.”

Indeed, Mraz didn’t need them.

He located his heater well, especially down around the hitters’ knees. The

majority of his career-high 13 strikeouts came on pitches at the bottom of the strike zone.

“He just froze them,” Elvers said.

“It was just gross. It was coming in very hard, and it was the best I’ve seen him throw.”

Mraz utilized two fastball variations: a two-seamer and a four-seamer. His velocity stayed right around his normal clip, hovering between 91-94 miles per hour.

After the first five innings of catching those bullets, Elvers started to become aware of what his teammate was doing.

“Right after the fifth inning, I walked into the dugout, and I looked up,” Elvers said. “I was like, ‘Wow, he’s striking guys out with just a fastball. He’s got no hits.’ And then in the sixth, he went out and did it again. It was just like, ‘Ah, I think he might have a shot to actually throw a no-hitter here,’ which is pretty impressive, and I was excited to be a part of it.”

Though, for Mraz, it wasn’t meant to be.

He gave up that leadoff base hit to Lambert to open the eighth but immediately turned his attention toward throwing a nine-inning shutout.

He followed the hit by allowing a walk and then striking out his final victim of the afternoon.

With a 9-0 lead, Hayden decided to pull Mraz after 7 1/3 frames, leaving two runners on base. Both came around to score later in the inning, tagging Mraz with two earned runs.

The RedHawks eventually won 15-2.

“When coach came out to pull me, I was like, ‘Damn, I know I should’ve had that,’” Mraz said.

“But, that’s baseball.”

And, for Mraz, baseball doesn’t always have to be complex. Some days, he needs only one pitch.

What’s next After Miami’s series against the Cardinals ended its nine-game road trip, the RedHawks will remain in their friendly confines for four more games.

Tonight, they host the Xavier Musketeers (16-23, 7-1 Big East) at 5 p.m. before the Northern Illinois Huskies (12-27, 8-7 MAC) travel in for a threegame weekend series, starting at 5 p.m. on Friday.

Based on the typical midweek rotation, senior Bailey Martin is Miami’s probable starter for tonight’s game. vinelca@miamoh.edu @ChrisAVinel SENIOR STARTER JACK CORBELL DIDN’T ALLOW A RUN ON FOUR HITS AGAINST THE YOUNGSTOWN STATE PENGUINS ON MARCH 10.

THE MIAMI STUDENT MACY WHITAKER

vinelca@miamioh.edu @ChrisAVinel

TUESDAY

BASEBALL Miami �����������������������������������������������������������������5 Cincinnati ������������������������������������������������������� 15

FRIDAY

BASEBALL Ball State ����������������������������������������������������������� 3 Miami ��������������������������������������������������������������� 2

SOFTBALL

’Hawks Talk “Every day, he does something where you say, ‘That’s the way you do it.’ Then, every day, he does something where, ‘Hey, that guy’s a freshman.’ It’s like, ‘He’s a long ways away. No, no, he’s a star! No, no, he’s a long ways away!’”

-Head football coach Chuck Martin on the spring development of freshman wideout Cam Blakely, who has received extra reps due to injuries.

GAME ONE (DH) Buffalo �������������������������������������������������������������� 0 Miami ��������������������������������������������������������������� 4 GAME TWO (DH) Buffalo ��������������������������������������������������������������� 1 Miami ���������������������������������������������������������������� 8

TENNIS

Western Michigan �������������������������������������������� 2 Miami �������������������������������������������������������������� 4

SUNDAY

SATURDAY

BASEBALL GAME ONE (DH) Ball State ����������������������������������������������������������� 6 Miami ��������������������������������������������������������������� 1 GAME TWO (DH) Ball State ����������������������������������������������������������� 5 Miami ��������������������������������������������������������������� 7

SOFTBALL

Buffalo ��������������������������������������������������������������� 2 Miami ���������������������������������������������������������������� 3

Opinion

12

GORMANWM@MIAMIOH.EDU

TUESDAY, APRIL 23, 2019

STAFF EDITORIAL

Letter to the editor: By naming her campus peregrinations, “The Lies Feminists Tell,” Kristan Hawkins, president of Students for Life of America, positions herself as an opponent of everyone who considers themselves supportive of the rights of women to self-determination.

Her targeted emails to faculty that she has identified as “feminists,” by a wholly exclusionary metric, intensify the feeling that she is banging her metaphorical shield with her spear.

I am sure that some feminists have told lies, but deceit cannot be regarded as a defining feature of this diverse demographic.

Founded on her religious fundamentalism, Hawkins’ crusade reflects the generalized deterioration of the national debate. She has a perfect right to speak against clinical practices of pregnancy termination, just as the majority of Americans are free to proclaim that the preservation of the fetus is secondary to the decisions of its mother. But to vilify all thoughtful Miamians who regard themselves as feminists with the panoptic title for her April 25 talk suggests that Kristan comes dripping with contempt for our community.

As a scientist, I have learned that the best way to deal with buffoons who contend that Earth is 6,000 years old, or those that deny the increasing warmth of the globe, is to ignore them. Kristan deserves the same response from Miami.

Nicholas P. Money Western Program Director moneynp@miamioh.edu

Do you have something you want to submit to be published in our paper? visit themiamistudent.net/submit

This should be a no-brainer, Crawford The following reflects the majority opinion of the Editorial Board Last week, Miami University’s Sustainability Committee failed to come to an agreement as to whether university President Gregory Crawford should sign the American College and University Presidents’ Climate Commitment (ACUPCC).

This comes despite the fact that 400 other institutions for higher education, including Miami’s peer institutions like Ohio State, Ohio University, Denison University, Bowling Green State University and the

“There aren’t equal sides to the climate crisis.

Giving credence to anything else is to give priority to things like monetary concerns and structural barriers that are nothing compared to the human cost of the looming environmental threat.”

University of Cincinnati have all taken the necessary steps to pledge their willingness to do everything in their power to be carbon neutral in the foreseeable future. Some of them did so nine years ago.

Miami has a moral obligation to do the same, and The Student believes the university’s hesitation in the face of such an impending crisis speaks volumes about what

Take signs of white supremacy seriously. It’s always personal.

OWEN BERG DESIGNER

Since April 5, signs promoting the white supremacist hate group Patriot Front have been spotted on Miami’s campus. Although the posting of these signs is not a violent attack, it adds a new level of reality to the Miami community’s racist reputation. It suggests there is organization and encouragement behind it.

Upon reading the news, a feeling of unrest washed over me. As an Asian-American from Oxford, I suddenly felt unsafe in the surroundings I’ve called home for the last 19 years.

Being a student of color at a mostly-white school, working at a mostly-white newspaper, I felt troubled by the reactions I saw in a couple of my white classmates and fellow TMS staffers. Even though they were concerned, some spoke in a lighthearted way about the story and its consequences. It showed they clearly felt distanced enough from the issue to feel more or less unaffected. This displays an ugly unawareness of their privilege as white Americans.

“I take these signs personally. I feel like someone has organized against me. Me as a biracial person. Me as a first-generation American.”

Acting this way doesn’t mean you are a racist person, but it shows that your attitude towards racism is clouded by the advantages you have as a white person. When it comes to being an ally to your minority friends, the unchecked use of this advantage marks the distinction between concern and empathy. You can worry

TENT SALE S H R I V E R W E S T PAT I O

the university actually prioritizes.

Crawford has promised to promote a “culture of sustainability” on Miami’s campus, but that promise rings hollow when we look at all the ways the university has failed to build on the momentum after achieving its own small sustainability goals set nine years ago.

It’s all too easy for the university to greenwash that progress and encourage complacency with what has managed to be done. But Miami students cannot afford to let the university skirt by so easily.

“Environmental stewardship, social

all you want about your minority friends and classmates – but you are not helping until you understand that our lives have been different because of our race.

And even as much as you empathize, there will always be a difference between caring about minorities and actually living as one.

Our day-to-day experiences that add up to feeling discriminated against are unique to us.

As much as you care about me (which I do appreciate), you really won’t ever quite understand what I’m going through.

If you are white, you are allowed to have a level of apathy for the Patriot Front signs that people of color do not. However shocked you may be, the worst possible implications of this story do not affect you to the extent that they affect minorities. As much as you may hate Patriot Front, their ideal future still includes you.

The white supremacists are glad you’re white, regardless.

These signs take on a different meaning to minorities. They amplify and warp the alienation I already feel as a student of color. They turn my loneliness into fear. I don’t just worry that my race is seen as a separator anymore. I feel like I’m seen as a problem.

I take these signs personally. I feel like someone has organized against me. Me as a biracial person. Me as a first-generation American. Me as the child of an interracial marriage, born and raised in their precious, majority-white college town. To them, my family and I threaten the nation’s “ideal” lifestyle, so much so that they banded together to “Reclaim America” (their motto) from us.

My mother left South Korea for the U.S. after college to further her studies. She teaches biochemistry at Miami in English, even though she didn’t grow up speaking it. She is no longer a Korean citizen, only an American one.

She’s shown me that white ancestral ties and patriotism have nothing to do with what’s so great about America. But according to Patriot Front, she is a threat to their essential “pan-European” culture simply because of what she looks like, despite the sacrifices she’s made for American students.

I don’t mean to gather pity by talking about my mom, but rather to explain some of the experiences that people of color have that make joking about these signs inappropriate, and how our version of America directly contradicts everything that Patriot Front stands for.

Caring about minorities is not a game of self-preservation. Making an edgy joke about these signs doesn’t automatically mean you are racist, but it’s an inconsiderate thing to do. It shows that you don’t understand your advantages enough to respect the experiences of people unlike yourself. Besides, isn’t “not a white supremacist” kind of a low bar to set for yourself? bergoe@miamioh.edu

responsibility and economic viability for current and future generations” should include making sure the environment is hospitable to the next generation of students – otherwise, the “economic viability” of the university isn’t going to matter when people are more concerned with the climate meltdown.

The Student isn’t alone in feeling as

though the university is on the brink of failing the entire community. Nearly 500 Miami students have signed the petition to ask Crawford to sign the commitment. Even though many of us will only be on campus for four years, we all have a stake in this.

And while student input was taken into account at last week’s meeting, it’s clear that wasn’t enough to tip the scales in the discussion.

The Student was dismayed to hear that the university’s own Sustainability Committee was “gathering information on all sides.” There aren’t equal sides to the climate crisis. Giving credence to anything else is to give priority to things like monetary concerns and structural barriers that are nothing compared to the human cost of the looming environmental threat.

As The Outline wrote, “Climate change still has enough plausible deniability for the White House to feel able to establish a special panel essentially tasked with finding reasons not to act on it.”

We just hope Miami is not so foolish.

The Institute for Environmental Sustainability is on our side, though. Jonathan Levy, the director of the institute, agreed that Miami has a “moral obligation” to at least attempt to fulfill the goals of the commitment.

“I recognize that [failure] is a possibility, but all this commitment is doing is saying, ‘we’re going to try,’” Levy said.

We can’t afford to simply try. The planet can’t afford a half hearted ‘We tried’ when the global south is already feeling the heat.

President Crawford, sign the ACUPCC. If that’s the best we can do, it’s the least you can do.

Dealing with loss from a distance

EMILY DATTILO CULTURE EDITOR

I spent the past few days fumbling for an idea for my column, Good Morning Miami, and completely blanked. I wasn’t in a social commentary mood, and I wasn’t in a happy, advice-giving mood either. I wanted to just pick a random topic and write. But, as a journalist, I didn’t think that would be fair.

I shouldn’t ignore my personal circumstances and pen a piece about student life or politics when, really, those are the last things on my mind.

So, this week, I removed “GMM” from the title out of respect for the topic, and chose to write about something personal that I’m still working through.

It was Tuesday, April 9, but I couldn’t tell you what the weather was like.

That day is a blur, and one I still haven’t processed. I declined a phone call from my dad at 9:24 a.m., one minute before my psychology research methods class ended. Then, I received a text message from my mom at 9:25 a.m. asking me to call her.

It was during that phone call, five hours away from my family, that I learned my grandfather had passed away.

I knew he’d been sick for a while, but I wasn’t expecting him to go so soon. After hanging up the phone, I wandered around campus for a while, grateful for the hat that hid the tears dripping from my eyes.

I went to class because I didn’t know where else to go.

I spoke about seven words during the 90 minute class, but the familiarity of the classroom comforted me. Sitting with my classmates and listening to them talk silenced the countless thoughts racing through my mind.

I’ve studied grief and loss in my psychology classes, but reading definitions on a textbook page does not prepare you for the unpredictability and instability of your emotions. I spent Tuesday afternoon writing a tribute to my grandpa, but I couldn’t get myself to finish it.

I told a few close friends at first, all of whom offered condolences and were willing to help me in any way possible. I’m very grateful

to all of them, because they made being alone in Oxford bearable.

One of my best friends offered to get dinner with me Tuesday evening, and we spent three hours talking and laughing. We talked about my grandpa a little bit, but she said she knew talking about it too much would make me more upset, so we settled on Midwestern jokes and our Italian families.

In the past couple weeks, as I’ve attempted to deal with loss, I’ve learned that distractions are invaluable. For a few days, I channeled nearly all my mental energy into not thinking about the situation because I didn’t want to confront it alone.

But driving home for the services on Thursday afternoon, after holding it at arm’s length for a few days, hit me. I could hardly drive as tears blurred the cars ahead of me.

I could not, and still cannot, imagine life without my grandpa, or as my siblings and I called him, “Papa.” He was one of the most supportive people I’ve ever known, and he believed that I could do anything. I don’t know where it came from, but since I was five years old, he’d tell me that I could be president.

He was so incredibly proud that I went to Miami. He’d affectionately call me “The Emerson Kid,” a play on my name and the dorm I lived in first year.

“I’ve studied grief and loss in my psychology classes, but reading definitions on a textbook page does not prepare you for the unpredictability and instability of your emotions.”

I know I’m not alone in losing a relative or a friend while away at school, and I also know that it’s impossible to face something like this alone. Surrounding myself with family and friends allowed me to take the steps to start working through this sadness and keep going.

The last time I talked to my grandpa, we FaceTimed and he got to see my dorm room for the first time. Later in the conversation he smiled and told me, “Oh, I’m always proud of you, Emily.” I think about that conversation now with tears in my eyes because I’m going to miss his positive spirit, his generosity and his love more than anything.

And Papa, I just wanted to say I miss you and thank you, for everything. dattilec@miamioh.edu

RAIN LOCATION:BRICK & IVY CAMPUS STORE