The Miami Student | April 9, 2019

ESTABLISHED 1826 — OLDEST COLLEGE NEWSPAPER WEST OF THE ALLEGHENIES

Volume 147 No. 23

Miami University — Oxford, Ohio

TUESDAY, APRIL 9, 2019

Miami basketball player arrested Guard Darrian Ringo faces domestic violence charges Thursday CÉILÍ DOYLE EMILY SIMANSKIS

THE MIAMI STUDENT Three weeks ago, after pounding at the door of the mother of his child’s apartment at 3:30 a.m., Miami University senior and RedHawks men’s basketball guard Darrian Ringo allegedly shoved his child’s mother to the ground and rushed to the bedroom to find him. The mother got up to stop Ringo, and he put his hands around her neck and pushed her on the bed.

The Oxford Police Department (OPD) filed an incident report on Tuesday, March 12 and a warrant was issued for Ringo’s arrest.

Ringo was arrested three days later on Friday, March 15 for a first-degree misdemeanor charge of domestic violence, was taken into custody and spent three nights in the Butler County Jail. *** Ringo demanded to take his child away from the mother after he had failed to pick up the child the previous evening, after arriving at the mother’s Miami Commons apartment off CONTINUED ON PAGE 3

“THEY WOULD DRINK OUTSIDE, PLAY GAMES, TAKE PICTURES, POSE CERTAIN KIND OF WAYS,” CHEMERE MERRIDA ‘05 SAID. DESIGN EDITOR CONNOR WELLS

BRIAH LUMPKINS STAFF WRITER

In February, The Miami Student uncovered almost two dozen accounts of racist imagery in the university’s old yearbook publication, Recensio, from 1960 until the publications’ end in 2015. Some of the images we found showed incidents of blackface, mock lynchings and students wearing white hoods.

These photos demonstrate that Miami University’s complicated relationship with racism

has been apparent for decades.

One of the most well-known examples was the formerly annual party, Ghetto Fest. Ghetto Fest was the last big party of the school year that took place in the north end of town, which was a densely populated student housing area.

The party spread between Sycamore Street and University Avenue.

Ghetto Fest began in the mid 90s and lasted until 2010, when it ended because students argued that the name of the event was racially insensitive. Although many Miami students

participated, it was unaffiliated with the university. Information about the event was spread through word of mouth communication, and the organizer of the event was not documented through city records.

In the Oxford community, Ghetto Fest held different meanings for different groups of people.

John Buchholz, Community Outreach Specialist for the Oxford Police Department (OPD), CONTINUED ON PAGE 3 CONTRIBUTED BY MIAMI ATHLETICS

ARENA

‘Let’s go to work. Let’s go to work.’

Miami athletics names Bergeron head hockey coach EMILY SIMANSKIS

SPORTS EDITOR-AT-LARGE

“HE’S PASSIONATE, HE’S LOYAL,” SAYLER (RIGHT) SAID. PHOTO EDITOR JUGAL JAIN

The Club Lounge of the Goggin Ice Center buzzed as Cincinnati television stations set up their cameras on a stage in the back of the room, and alumni, press and Miami staff filed into several rows of seats while current Miami hockey players crammed against the right wall.

The temperature rose as people chatted to fill the time before 1:30 p.m. yesterday afternoon, when Chris Bergeron was to be introduced as Miami hockey’s sixth head coach in program history.

After opening remarks from Athletic Director David Sayler and an introduction from for-

This Issue

Humor pages 8 & 9

mer Miami head coach Bill Davidge, Bergeron stepped behind the podium and to the helm of Miami ice hockey.

“Don’t mistake my emotion for lack of excitement, because I’m extremely excited to be standing here right now,” Bergeron said with tears in his eyes, after composing himself.

Miami Athletics announced Friday morning that Bergeron, the former Bowling Green State University (BGSU) head hockey coach and a Miami alumnus, will be Miami hockey’s head coach.

“He’s passionate, he’s loyal, he cares about where he is, and he cares about the kids that he’s coaching,” Sayler said. “I must have had 20 alums call me through this process to recommend Coach Bergeron to me.”

The announcement came only 18 days after long-time head coach Enrico Blasi was fired, and 10 days after former associate head coach Peter Mannino was named interim head coach.

Bergeron called all 20 returning players on Friday and, before the press conference, he met with the RedHawks and introduced himself.

“The transition with Coach Blasi and everything, that was tough,” rising senior forward Karch Bachman said. “It’s been a tough couple weeks for us, with the transition and the uncertainty, but we knew Miami was searching for one guy, and we’re really happy that they got the guy they were looking for.”

The ’Hawks said they could feel Bergeron’s excitement and intensity, as he asked them to choose if they were “all in” as part of his mission CONTINUED ON PAGE 3

Nike just does it

Relay for life takes Goggin

‘Haunted’ hall to Hyperbole helps be demolished no one

Sophomore guard Nike Sibande enters his name into the 2019 NBA Draft.

Students and staff stay ‘round the clock’ for the fight against cancer.

95-year-old Wilson Hall will be put to pasture this summer.

Our columnist digs into why joking about death is anything but.

Sports » page 11

Culture » page 7

News » page 4

Opinion » page 12

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NEWS 3

TUESDAY, APRIL 9, 2019

A DIVIDED HISTORY FROM FRONT

has worked with OPD for 44 years and assisted in patrolling Ghetto fest from its birth until its end. He said that in his years of monitoring the event, he never saw anything that would constitute as racist or racially insensitive.

He described Ghetto Fest as a “huge college party.”

Participation grew with each year of its existence. In the beginning, it was mostly limited to students, then later evolved to include the participation of families in the Oxford community and individuals from out of town. He recalled even seeing families bring their young children to participate.

Buchholz said the name of the event wasn’t meant to be associated with any particular race or ethnicity. From his understanding, the name was based upon the region of town in which Ghetto Fest took place.

“They called it Ghetto Fest only because that area of town was not associated with any race, but was the last part of town to be developed.

The conditions up there were not as good as other places in town,” Buchholz said.

Rodney Coates, coordinator of Miami’s Black World Studies program, was teaching at the university through the duration of Ghetto Fest’s existence. He felt that the name of the event had an obvious racial connotation.

“When you say ghetto, who does that make reference to?” Coates said. “This term is not an innocent one in and of itself. It has unique meaning within the U.S. context. You cannot escape that.”

Chemere Merrida, a ‘05 Miami graduate, said she and a few other African American students drove by and saw the event up close out of curiosity. She remembered seeing white students dressed up and behaving as their idea of the stereotypical ghetto individual.

“They would play very loud rap music, and they would pretend to stereotypically be black,” Merrida said. “They would drink outside, play games, take pictures, pose certain kind of ways.

They would participate in things they thought the ‘ghetto’ was like.”

In 2010, after a series of racist and homophobic incidents that took place on and off campus, students took matters into their own hands.

There was a town hall meeting conducted to discuss Ghetto Fest and the meaning the word ‘ghetto’ had to different groups of people.

Soon after, students held a “No More Hate on My Campus” rally. About 250 students gathered on Spring Street outside the Shriver Center protesting against the events that had taken place.

According to previous coverage by The Miami Student, the rally was organized by Miami’s LGBTQ+ advocacy group, Spectrum, and other students on campus.

The protest was so effective that Ghetto Fest ceased to exist.

Coates was impressed with the unification among students during that time and their courage to speak out against the events taking place.

“The way students came together against racial lines and condemned [Ghetto Fest],” Coates said. “It was a great moment of protest and counterprotest.”

Coates said he believes that the students who organized the event weren’t thinking about the meaning of the word “ghetto” or the implications that word had on black students and Oxford residents. . Coates believes these students were just trying to understand an experience they didn’t have any attachment to.

He compares these students’ interpretation of the ghetto, to the audience who saw the Oscar nominated film “Black Panther” and assumed they understood what it mean to be African.

“I don’t think they planned to do this. I don’t think there was any thought of this word.” Coates said. “It’s very much like me watching Wakanda

total enrollment that year.

In an attempt to recruit more students of color, Miami has implemented initiatives such as the Bridges Program, which reaches out to students of color and those who are from low-income backgrounds.

Merrida knew of racial tensions on Miami’s campus as a prospective student. Her senior year of high school, Miami’s mascot was changed from the Redskins to the Redhawks, and she recalled many people were displeased. She said the change “brought all the racists out.”

Through experience and by attending Miami while Ghetto Fest was held every year, she was not surprised to hear The Student had uncovered the racist images in Recensio.

“We’re in the Midwest in a very conservative university, in a very conservative county, of a very conservative state,” Merrida said. “Nothing like that can really shock me. What does surprise me is that they had the gall to flat-out take pictures and publish them as if it weren’t wrong.”

Coates feels that people should be aware and

“This term is not an innocent one in and of itself. It has unique meaning within the U.S. context. You cannot escape that.” and having an ‘African experience.’ The film was so far from Africa that it wasn’t even funny, but so many experienced Africa through the eyes of a cartoon. It’s the same kind of thing. This [Ghetto Fest] has no real connection to reality. They were having a Wakanda experience without any experience of what the reality of a ghetto is.”

Buchholz acknowledged there were a series of racial and homophobic incidents that preceded the “No More Hate on My Campus” rally and feels that Oxford and Miami have come a long way in their promoting social awareness about these systemic problems..

“There were a series of racial events in Oxford not associated with Ghetto Fest,” Buchholz said.

“Now, people are a lot more attentive and intune with racial and homophobic type of things, whereas back then, I think that was when Oxford and Miami were just beginning to wake up to these events.”

Like many universities, Miami has historically had low minority enrollment. As of Oct. 15, 2017, there were only 1,034 African American students enrolled across Miami’s main and regional campuses. This is only 4.2 percent of the

not only respond to acts of racism when it directly affect them.

“If the only time I’m upset about something is when it’s my group, there’s a problem,” Coates said. “ If I am indeed concerned with social justice, then that means that I understand that there is this rainbow of people and identities that I need to be concerned with.”

Merrida said she enjoyed Miami’s social scene, but feels Miami must put in more effort to make students of color comfortable.

“The university needs to do a better job of how they welcome and integrate their first-year students,” Merrida said. “The majority of students at that school will always be white; they will always be of a certain class and always be of a certain financial background. So, how do you make these students who come in [and] have experienced a privileged life for so long, how do you shape them to be more aware?” lumpkibm@miamioh.edu @Briah_lumpkins

Miami basketball player arrested Guard Darrian Ringo to face domestic violence charges Thursday FROM FRONT

Oxford Reilly Road, on Sunday, March 10, OPD officer David Morgan wrote in the incident report.

Ringo said the mother “began pushing, shoving, and slapping him before he pushed her down to get away.” The mother told Morgan she did nothing but tell Ringo to leave, at which point he shoved her down before kicking and striking her, and putting his hands around her neck.

Morgan responded to the disturbance call at 4 a.m.

He wrote the mother had no markings at all, except “a small red mark on her right knee” and “a very small red mark on her collarbone.”

Ringo did not cooperate with Morgan’s attempt to inspect him.

At first, the mother told Morgan she wanted to file charges and was willing to provide a written statement and photographs of her injuries.

As Morgan started to take Ringo into custody, he heard the mother crying in the apartment and “softly say, ‘stop.’” When Morgan reentered the apartment, the mother said she no longer wanted to press charges and that she would not provide a statement, allow photographs to be taken or show up to court.

When Morgan asked why the mother had changed her mind she said that Ringo’s family supported her, and “she didn’t want to do this.”

It’s not clear in the report what kind of support the mother was referring to.

Because Morgan no longer had a victim, written statement or evidence of injuries, he removed the handcuffs from Ringo and the mother allowed Ringo to say goodnight to their child.

Morgan drove Ringo back to his apartment because he had a suspended license and filed an informational report for future reference. *** As a member of Miami men’s basketball team, Ringo travelled to Akron and played with the RedHawks on Monday, March 11. Miami Athletics was unaware of the incident. Athletic director David Sayler said, “I 100 percent assure you, if he had been arrested or charged, [head coach Jack] Owens wouldn’t have played him.

“I know Jack 100 percent, integrity-wise would not play someone who was arrested or charged.”

But, even though the mother of Ringo’s child did not want to pursue charges, Morgan was forced to report the incident to the state (as required by Ohio Revised Code) and a warrant was issued for Ringo’s arrest the day after he played in Akron.

Ringo was arrested on Friday, March 15 and placed in Butler County Jail.

After spending three nights in jail, Ringo met with Judge Robert Lyons via video conference for his initial hearing on Monday, March 18.

After speaking on the phone with Ringo, while the student’s image was projected on a monitor in the Oxford Courthouse, Lyons granted Ringo an OR bond – a written agreement between Ringo and the court that allowed him to be released from jail without posting bail as long as Ringo promises to appear in court for all of his future proceedings, a representative from the Butler County Area 1 clerk’s office said.

A domestic violence temporary protection order was also filed by the court, which instructed Ringo to stop abusing the mother of his child and to stay away from the mother while his criminal case was still active, according to court records.

Ringo was subsequently released from jail and later hired local, private defense attorney, Neal Schuett.

The Student reached out to Schuett, who had “no comment” at this time.

Ringo’s initial hearing was set for Thursday, March 21, but Schuett’s motion for continuance, to postpone the hearing a few more weeks, was granted, according to the court docket.

He is scheduled to appear at 8 a.m. on Thursday, April 11 at the Oxford Courthouse in front of Lyons to be formally indicted.

But, this isn’t Ringo’s first brush with the law.

The Miami basketball star has a history of legal troubles in Butler County. *** During January 2018 the Alabama-based real estate company, CDC-Oxford LLC, filed a civil suit against Ringo for not paying his rent.

CDC-Oxford LLC initially served Ringo a three-day notice to vacate the premises on Nov. 10, 2017, and again on Dec. 12, 2017.

Ringo ignored the eviction notices, forcing CDC-Oxford LLC to file a lawsuit against him to pay for the missing rent.

The real estate company eventually dropped the suit and the dispute was settled out of court.

Four months later, at 11:54 p.m. on May 14, 2018, Ringo was ticketed for going 40 miles per hour in a 25 mph zone and summoned to appear in court 10 days later.

He failed to appear in court was fined $275 in total costs. On June 1, 2018 the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV) warned Ringo if he failed to pay the fine again, the BMV would notify his home state, Indiana, to suspend his license.

The following month, Ringo’s license was suspended. *** On July 9, 2018, Miami men’s basketball announced on Twitter v Ringo would no longer be a member of the team.

Sayler said this was unrelated to Ringo’s civil

suit and traffic violations, because there was no way for the department to have known without Ringo self-reporting his legal run-ins.

“Athletics would not know of these things unless the kid told us,” Sayler said. “And it’s their choice to do that.”

According to university policy, Ringo is an “uncharged suspect” and has the right to privacy when working through his legal issues.

If Ringo is found responsible for his domestic violence charge then Miami’s Office of Community Standards will investigate and sanctions will be enacted in accordance with the student conduct policy.

Three days before Miami University fall classes were set to start for the 2018-19 school year, men’s basketball head coach Jack Owens told Steve Baker in a video interview posted to Twitter that Ringo was in the process of working himself back on the team.

Ringo started in Miami’s first game of the regular season against Butler on Nov. 10, 2018. *** Earlier this year, at 10:43 p.m. on Feb. 19, 2019 Ringo was again cited for going 40 mph in a 25 mph zone and summoned to court on Feb. 28.

After failing to appear in court on Feb. 28, an additional order to appear was sent to Ringo on March 1 and then subsequently resent on March 11 after the original order was returned with a forwarding address.

After being released from Butler County jail following his domestic violence arrest, Ringo paid his outstanding $275 fine from his May 2018 traffic violation.

Schuett also filed and was granted two motions for continuance regarding the 2018 and 2019 traffic violations, the same day the court granted Schuett the continuance for Ringo’s criminal charges.

The dispute over Ringo’s two traffic violations will be settled at court next Thursday, during his hearing regarding the domestic violence case.

Correction: Originally the headline of this article referred to Ringo as a former Miami basketball player. Ringo is a senior and the men’s season is over, but he is currently still a member of the team.

This is a developing story. Follow us on Twitter @miamistudent, check back to miamistudent.net and pick up a copy of the paper in print on Tuesdays to follow future coverage of this case. doyleca3@miamioh.edu @cadoyle_18 simansec@miamioh.edu @emilysimanskis

‘Let’s go to work.

Let’s go to work.’

FROM FRONT

to win games and revamp the program.

Bergeron says he will call recruits and ask them to do the same.

“Leaving the meeting, all the players were fired up and ready to play,” rising senior goaltender Ryan Larkin said. “We went away from the meeting, finally getting our first taste of what Coach Bergeron is going to be like, and I think all of us were very, very excited about what he can bring for us.”

Bergeron spent the past nine seasons coaching the BGSU Falcons of the Western Collegiate Hockey Association. The Falcons were 171-15444 all time under Bergeron, and most recently finished 25-11-5 (16-8-4 WCHA).

The University of Minnesota Duluth beat the Falcons’ 2-1 on Saturday, March 30, in the first round of the NCAA Tournament and ended BGSU’s historic 2018-19 season – the Falcons’ tournament appearance was their first since 1990.

“I need to thank Bowling Green,” Bergeron said. “Bowling Green gave me the opportunity to be a head coach and the last nine years, I poured everything I had into it.”

Miami offered Bergeron a contract last Wednesday, according to College Hockey News, and Bowling Green offered Bergeron a new contract on Thursday, according to The Toledo Blade.

Bergeron ultimately decided to return to his alma mater.

“The one place that would get my attention was the one place that called,” Bergeron said.

Bergeron played for the RedHawks from 1989-93 and served as a two-year team captain.

From the 1990-91 through the 1992-93 season, Bergeron played with Blasi. The two helped the RedHawks to the program’s first Central Collegiate Hockey Association Championship in 1992-93.

After his collegiate career, Bergeron played professionally for seven years before returning to Oxford as an assistant coach for the 2000-01 season.

Bergeron coached under Blasi for 10 seasons and helped the RedHawks to a 226-13937 overall record and 161-83-28 conference record. The ’Hawks made six NCAA Tournament appearances, two Frozen Four trips and two first place finishes in the CCHA with Bergeron as an assistant. “[Blasi] had an unbelievable impact,” Bergeron said, pausing for 10 seconds to compose himself. “He had an unbelievable impact on me as a coach. He called me summer of ’99 after he got the job, and ever since then, he’s had an impact on me as a coach, and me as a human being.”

Bergeron was part of Blasi’s inception of “The Brotherhood.” “‘The Brotherhood’ is something that is a lifestyle,” Bergeron said. “It’s being the best version of yourself and trying to help the guy beside you to be the best version of himself.

That is what it is to me. I’m going to take that opportunity to be the best version of Chris, so I can help everyone around us, and me, be the best version of themselves.”

The Brotherhood has struggled of late and just finished its fourth consecutive season under .500 with a 11-23-4 overall record and 5-17-2 National Collegiate Hockey Conference record.

A 15-game winless streak and nine-game losing streak defined the RedHawks’ 2018-19 season. The last time Miami was winless for 15 games was during the 1990-91 season, when Bergeron was a sophomore.

Bergeron is also familiar with tough seasons as a head coach – the Falcons won 10 games during his first season at the helm of the program and suffered three under-.500 seasons before Bergeron pulled the Falcons to an 18-156 record in 2013-14.

After that season, Bergeron led his team to five straight 20-plus win seasons, a WCHA Championship in 2016-17 and this year’s NCAA Tournament.

“Because I’m not totally sure of the things that are needed at this time, right now, I’m just going to rely on those experiences [being part of a turnaround] and surround myself with the best people possible, and we’re going to try to figure out what’s wrong and try to fix it,” Bergeron said.

Bergeron is unfamiliar with the NCHC, as it was established in 2011 and hosted its first games during the 2013-14 season when Bergeron was coaching Bowling Green.

For the past three years, an NCHC team has won the NCAA National Championship, and five of the eight NCHC teams, including No. 1 St. Cloud State, were ranked in the USCHO. com’s top-20 poll during the last week of the season.

The last time a WCHA team won a national title was in 1994, but two of the 10 WCHA teams were ranked in the USCHO.com’s poll, including the No. 15 Falcons and No. 3 Minnesota State.

“In my nine years at Bowling Green, I expected to win championships, I expected to go to the national tournament, I expected to win a national title,” Bergeron said. “So my expectations, sounds to me, that they’re the same.”

There is no definite timeline for Bergeron to announce his staff. His first official day on campus is next Monday, Sayler said. In six days, Bergeron will begin the process of trying to lead Miami hockey to a National Championship.

“I can’t be more excited to go to work,” Bergeron said, then turned to address the players. “It’s not going to be a light switch, right fellas?” He turned back to the crowd. “Let’s go to work. Let’s go to work.” simansec@miamioh.edu @emilysimanskis

4 NEWS ASG narrowly votes to support university workers

NEWS@MIAMISTUDENT.NET

TUESDAY, APRIL 9, 2019

Allegedly ‘haunted,’ 95-year-old Wilson Hall will be demolished this summer

ERIN GLYNN

ASST. NEWS EDITOR Associated Student Government (ASG) passed a resolution supporting in-person union representation at new employee orientations during senate session April 2.

Senators also held a Q&A session with Senior Director of Food and Beverage Geno Svec.

Though the previously proposed bill to restructure executive cabinet received enough support to be introduced, it was not brought to the floor due to concern that senators were being unduly influenced, said Meaghan Murtagh, student body president.

Senators Adrian Radilla and Bobby Adler authored the resolution, which calls for a representative from any and all unions associated with university employees — such as the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees (AFSCME) and the Fraternal Order of Police — to be present at all employee orientations.

Radilla and Adler were unable to speak with any union representatives while researching the legislation due to laws against union and management collusion, though they did speak to some university employees.

The resolution was met with resistance from some senators who did not think it was ASG’s place to pass legislation on issues that do not necessarily affect students.

Radilla responded that he felt it was important that senate acknowledge the “economic situation we’re living in.”

“I don’t see the con to this. Either you support these workers or you do not,” Radilla told senate.

Senate voted to approve the resolution with 21 for, 17 against and two abstentions.

Svec clarified some misconceptions about staffing and food waste when it comes to Miami’s dining program, namely that low wages are deterring students and community members from applying to dining jobs and that the program fails to donate enough extra food, and he explained the difficulties he encounters with his work.

“It’s the hardest job in the world because everyone has an opinion about food, and there’s 13,000 of you,” Svec said.

Senators asked Svec if he believes the issues Miami has with staffing dining halls stem from low wages.

Svec said the program had ruled that out as a possibility after completing a wage study last year and raising student wages by one dollar.

Svec also discussed his efforts to reconfigure the dining program to waste as little food as possible, such as introducing batch cooking for buffet lines.

“I am not in business to give food away,” Svec said. glynnee@miamioh.edu

WILSON HALL USED TO BE A SANITORIUM FOR WOMEN BEFORE IT WAS TURNED INTO A RESIDENCE HALL THE MIAMI STUDENT COLLEEN GRIMM

SARA BEY

THE MIAMI STUDENT Wilson Hall, a 95-year-old building and former residence hall, will be demolished and replaced with green space this summer.

Located on East Quad next to Cook Field, the ex-sanatorium for women with “mild mental and emotional disorders” has not housed students since the 2015-16 school year, said Rob Schorman, professor of history, humanities and creative arts.

Wilson Hall, originally named “The Pines,” was an annex of The Oxford Retreat private hospital. It was leased to Miami in 1936 as a women’s residence hall. In 1986, it was renamed after Dr. Charles Wilson, a former Miami provost.

The hall has a history of alleged hauntings.

“I heard that if you left your shoes out in the hall, Dr. Cook would polish them overnight,” said Robert Bell, Miami’s interim university architect. “I’ve also heard stories about past patients haunting the hall, because supposedly many patients were sent there against their will.”

Despite this storied history, there is no need for halls that can house only 71 students when there are newer four-story halls such as Presidents and Withrow, Schorman said.

The plan for demolition began in 2010 when the Planning, Engineering and Archi-

tecture subdivision of the Physical Facilities Department assessed all 41 residence halls.

Wilson was deemed “higher risk” and “less adaptable to modern standards and generally in poor condition,” Bell said. These factors make a renovation costly.

Like many buildings constructed in the early 1900s, Wilson uses balloon-framing, meaning a foundation made of long wooden pillars. This is a fire hazard, as flames can spread rapidly from the bottom of the wood to the top, engulfing entire buildings.

The Campus Planning Committee approved demolition in February 2019. Molly O’Donnell, an undergraduate member of the committee, said there were no plans for renovation.

Typically, demolitions are not publicized widely.

“Buildings are torn down over the summer, and there’s little public knowledge about it until you show up next [school] year and they’re gone,” Charles Kennick, another undergraduate committee member, said.

Both students said there is an underlying problem with demolishing old buildings.

“Miami was built in 1809, but you walk around campus and see many buildings that are a century old at most,” O’Donnell said.

“For a university with a history of being a public ivy, it seems to me we’ve torn down most of our historic buildings.”

POVERTY SUCKS. PERIOD.

Though buildings such as Wells Hall and Alumni Hall are both around 100 years old, others, such as those in Central Quad, were constructed in the 1950s.

O’Donnell said she wants to see more renovations of old buildings on campus.

“Reconfiguration and restoration is expensive, but you see it all the time,” she said, citing warehouses made into lofts in cities and Armstrong Student Center on Miami’s campus as examples.

Kennick said the building plan for the university campus could alienate Alumni connections.

“I think it’s going to be difficult for Miami to see their alumni come back and feel [at home] because the campus is so different,” Kennick said.

Last summer, Swing Hall on North Quad was demolished after housing its last cohort in the 2017-18 school year. Mary Lyon Hall on Western was demolished at the end of the 2015-16 school year. Both buildings housed Miami students for nearly a century.

“Having historic buildings is important,” O’Donnell said. “It’s not just the fact that [each] new building is made out of brick; it adds something in addition to the uniformity of the architecture across campus.” beysc@miamioh.edu

City Council discusses Airbnb regulations

MU student hopes to help provide hygiene products

TIM CARLIN

STAFF WRITER

RYAN DERN

THE MIAMI STUDENT Jillian Cofskey, a sophomore art and architecture history major, is gathering up old makeup bags and filling them with hygiene products to benefit local women.

For millions of women living below the poverty line in America, the monthly cost of hygiene products like pads and tampons can be insurmountable when they can barely afford to put food on the table.

Cofskey plans to donate the bags to local homeless and women’s shelters.

“I was doing some spring cleaning over break and noticed I had about 30 or so old makeup bags that I just didn’t use, and I wasn’t sure what to do with them,” Cofskey said. “[I] figured that I could put my old bags to use and donate them.”

Cofskey posted on the Oxford Talk and Miami Class of 2021 Facebook pages asking for donations and advice on which shelters she should donate to.

Cofskey has filled the bags with hygiene products and expects more bags to come in soon. Cofskey hopes to fill a need that isn’t being served in the community.

“While we try our best to accommodate all of our patrons, the products in question tend to be quite expensive and [are] not a top priority,” said Bobby Musgrove III, the public relations representative for the Haven House Emergency Shelter located in Middletown, Ohio.

For shelters like the Haven House, most funding goes towards food and clothing.

Feminine hygiene products are subject to a luxury tax, commonly referred to as a “period tax” of 7%, so it can be difficult to afford these products.

The Hope House, also located in Middletown, offers separate shelters for both men and women and provides meals and personal care items. Similar to the Haven House, this shelter relies primarily on donations both of products and funds.

“In our shelter designated for women

JILLIAN COFSKEY HELPS THOSE IN NEED WITH OLD MAKEUP BAGS THE MIAMI STUDENT SARAH BROSSART

and children, we offer the things that make [women’s] lives easier and more comfortable,” said Jeri Lewis, the public relations director and board member from the Hope House.“These products are very expensive relative to other personal care items, so we ask for any donations possible to help the less fortunate.”

Shelters like these do receive donations

and funding but still struggle to provide the goods and services that they ensure to their patrons. For those who donate, all monetary donations are tax deductible.

“Any help would be greatly appreciated.

I’m not sure where this will go, but I think we can help at least a couple of people,” Cofskey said. dernre@miamioh.edu

Regulations for Oxford Airbnbs were introduced at the city council meeting on Tuesday, April 2, and road repairs were approved.

The legislation on short term rental properties, such as Airbnbs, would require operators to register their properties with the city via an online form.

There has never been a formal survey of Oxford’s short term rental properties, but Councilor Glenn Ellerbe said that the number of Airbnbs in town averages around 55.

Some members of the community expressed concerns that the legislation was too lax. Some citizens said if council waits much longer to regulate short term rental properties, the task will become impossible.

“If we wait another year, we’ll be further behind the curve,” said Councilor David Prytherch, who recused himself for the legislation’s discussion due to his previous involvement with the Planning Commission.

“We’re either going to deal with this now, or we need to commit ourselves to the fact that we won’t really realistically be able to.”

City Council passed two resolutions authorizing repairs and resurfacing to Campus Avenue, and the installation of handicap ramps cut into the curbs at various crosswalks along Withrow Street, Campus Avenue and Church Street.

Repairs to Campus Avenue will be from Chestnut Street to High Street beginning sometime this summer.

Service director Mike Dreisbach said that the city now has mobile speed radar display units that it will rotate through various targeted enforcement zones to make drivers aware of their speed in town.

The Oxford Bible Fellowship (OBF), located on the corner of Maple and Chestnut Streets, submitted its renovation plans to council at the meeting.

OBF plans to build an extension to their existing place of worship to increase the number of seats.

The renovation will remove street access from Maple Street, but will leave the two street access points on Chestnut.

City Council will vote on the renovation plan next week. OBF plans to break ground on the addition in September.

City Council meets next week at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, April 16 in the Oxford Courthouse. carlintm@miamioh.edu

NEWS@MIAMISTUDENT.NET

NEWS 5

TUESDAY, APRIL 9, 2019

Miami food pantry serves students in need LUCY GREANEY

THE MIAMI STUDENT The Miami University student food pantry is a resource for students on campus suffering from a shortage of food. It started with two small bins in the Student Success Center (SSC) and has since expanded to the third floor of the Crossroads Outpost.

There were many people who were instrumental in the making of the pantry, one of them being Senior Assistant Director of SSC Ashley Hopkins. When Hopkins started at Miami two years ago, the idea for an on-campus pantry was already underway.

“Being a new faculty member at the time, I did not have the capital to make a food pantry,” Hopkins said.

She reached out to Sharman Willmore, a faculty member of the kinesiology and health department, who helped her organize the first meeting.

Crossroads Outpost board members, Hopkins and Willmore, Oxford Community Choice (OCC) pantry director Bob Ratterman, a Miami international graduate student and a few undergraduate students were all present at this meeting.

“We knew that the international perspective and the graduate perspective were both very important,” Hopkins said.

THE CROSSROADS OUTPOST HOSTS PART OF THE MIAMI FOOD PANTRY THE MIAMI STUDENT ZAIM HAQ

The current food pantry opened its doors in March 2018. The food pantry is organized mainly by the SSC and is partially located at the Crossroads Outpost. Both of these locations are branches of the same food pantry.

“Due to its success and necessity, the food pantry has considered opening a third location at the Interfaith Center,” Hopkins said. However, the

ASG constitutional amendment to come to senate floor tonight ERIN GLYNN

ASST. NEWS EDITOR A bill coming to the senate floor tonight proposes changes to the Associated Student Government (ASG) constitution. These changes would remove Article III, which concerns the duties and composition of student court, and redefine the checks on the power of senate and its committees.

As is, Article III says that ASG

Senate sometimes challenges what they’re allowed to do in the Constitution. That’s never happened with student senate. We’re trying to get, you know, more forks in the dining halls.”

Mellot agreed.

“The constitution almost never applies to day-to-day affairs and student government,” Mellott said.

“Ultimately, we think we want that legislative power to still remain vested in the senate. Senate can then decide later on, for instance, if

‘I think that just reflects the reality that most people are not super interested in the details determining the ASG constitution’ - Max Mellot

related student court responsibilities include conducting ASG officials’ impeachment trials, interpreting the ASG constitution and ruling upon Student Body President Election campaign violations.

The impeachment trial duties will be moved entirely under the purview of the Oversight Committee, but a different check will be necessary for issues raised on how ASG will monitor Elections Committee or Funding and Audit Committee decisions.

Parliamentarian Max Mellot, with senators Chelsea Kao, Edith Lui and Benjamin Waugh, authored the bill. It proposes a judicial council composed of seven students: the student body president, the student body vice president, the secretary for on-campus affairs, the secretary for off-campus affairs and three senators. These senators will be selected by the Speaker of the Senate and approved by the senate. They cannot serve on the Elections or Funding and Audit Committees.

Speaker Cole Hankins said student court hasn’t needed to interpret the constitution in recent memory.

“We never really write legislation that challenges what’s in the constitution,” Hankins said. “The U.S.

they don’t like this reform, they can change it.”

The constitution states that amendments must be approved by two-thirds of the senate, and then presented before the student body for a vote.

Should the changes pass senate, they will come before the student body for approval April 29, coinciding with the elections for off-campus and academic senators for next year.

“Because everyone has a major and a division, everyone will be eligible to vote in those elections, so we’re going to have the constitutional referendum alongside that,” Hankins said.

Voter turnout for constitutional referendums has been historically low, and no one expects this year to be an exception.

“I think that just reflects the reality that most people are not super interested in the details determining the ASG constitution,” Mellott said. “But I’m not sure that turnout is going to be lower in this senate election timeslot than it would have been in the presidential election.

Everybody still has their opportunity to vote.” glynnee@miamioh.edu

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project has been delayed due to renovations at the Interfaith Center.

Its location in the SSC mainly serves undergraduate students but would not turn away any person in need. The Outpost, on the other hand, sees a diverse group that includes undergraduate students, graduate students and community members.

Access to the OCC pantry requires

identification for Butler County, which poses an obstacle that makes it harder for Miami students to acquire food, Crossroads Outpost Manager Vanessa Parsons said. Also some students live off their own income; however, their parents make too much money to qualify for assistance, so they are denied access to the OCC. The food pantry would not be pos-

sible without fiscal support from the community, namely that of Oxford Empty Bowls and the Oxford Community Foundation. Oxford Empty Bowls and the Oxford Community Foundation granted the student food pantry a donation which allowed the food pantry to install refrigerators at Crossroads Outpost, allowing them to offer perishable food items.

The main source of food comes from food drives held on campus, which typically occur four times each year in SSC. During the most recent food drive, 40 bags and five flats of canned goods were donated, stocking both the closet in SSC and the Crossroads Outpost location with bags left over.

“We keep inventory and make sure that foods do not reach their date of expiration, and if it is getting close, we send it to the OCC pantry,” Hopkins explained.

Although the main purpose of the Miami food pantry is to provide for the hungry student community, it also stores toiletries, feminine products, laundry detergent and some cleaning supplies. The food pantry also accepts unopened products that have not reached their date of expiration. Donations can be brought to room 112 of the Campus Avenue Building located at 301 S. Campus Ave. greanelj@miamioh.edu

Student body VP represents ASG at pro-Israel policy conference RACHEL BERRY NEWS EDITOR

Student Body Vice President (VP) Vincent Smith traveled to Washington D.C. for the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) policy conference over spring break from March 24-26.

AIPAC is a bipartisan lobbying group that advocates for pro-Israel policies. The conference had over 18,000 people in attendance, including over two-thirds of U.S. Congress and over 3,600 students, according to AIPAC’s website.

Smith was first approached about attending AIPAC last fall. He attended a different, smaller conference in January with about 80 other African-American student leaders.

After that experience, Smith said it piqued his interest in attending AIPAC’s policy conference. Smith’s entire trip was funded by AIPAC, and he was able to attend talks specifically geared toward student leaders as part of the conference.

Smith said previously he did not know much about AIPAC or its politics, but became more interested in attending after speaking with students in Hillel about the anti-Semitism bill they wrote in conjunction with Associated Student Government (ASG).

“I thought it was interesting to learn more about [U.S.-Israel relations],” Smith said. “I was interested in that and the foreign policy.”

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict centers around which nation has a right to the land upon which Israel currently inhabits.

“It just doesn’t make sense why [ASG] would get involved in politics at all,” said Zaim Haq, president of the Muslim Students’ Association [Haq is a photographer for The Student]. “It just seems like a move that would alienate people on either side.”

The conference held general sessions with high-profile speakers including VP Mike Pence, Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. There were breakout sessions where attendees could choose which topics they wanted to learn more about, with subjects like innovation or international law in Israel.

Smith said one of the main focuses of the policy conference was bipartisanship.

“Hearing about both sides of it, as well, was kind of interesting that there’s people on both sides of the aisle, at least with this issue, working together,” Smith said.

Smith said one of his biggest takeaways from the conference was seeing how federal government functions in a similar manner to ASG and how Congress is working together toward a common goal.

ASG’s Secretary for Diversity and Inclusion Courtney Rose had planned to attend along with Smith, but could not go due to illness.

In total, 17 Miami students attended the policy conference. The majority of these students are involved with Hillel, Students for Israel or other pro-Israel organizations.

All of ASG’s executive cabinet was invited to attend, but everyone else declined. “[AIPAC] wants us to reach out to student government because they know all the leaders of these clubs are the future leaders of the United States, so it was really exciting to have Vince [come to the conference],” said Hannah Stein, co-president of HawkPAC, a political subcommittee within Students for Israel that works with AIPAC. “I’m just hoping to continue building that relationship and get more people from ASG and College Republicans and College Democrats to go in the future.”

However, Haq was confused why ASG would send a representative to AIPAC. ASG has solicited the Muslim Students’ Association for opportunities to collaborate on legislation before, such as the recent anti-Semitism bill, where Haq gave feedback.

But ASG’s choice to appear at AIPAC could be interpreted as choosing sides of the Israel-Palestine conflict, Haq said.

“I don’t know how that would specifically help the student government,” Haq said. berryrd@miamioh.edu

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6 CULTURE

TUESDAY, APRIL 9, 2019

HEADLEDDMIAMIOH.EDU

Humans of Oxford Massman finds a home in the outfield EMILY DATTILO

CULTURE EDITOR In kindergarten, Parker Massman’s throw from shortstop to first base broke the first baseman’s glasses.

Now a sophomore business major and division one baseball player at Miami, Massman stands 6 feet tall, a backwards hat clapped onto a wave of dark blonde hair, his face drawn in a serious expression.

He’s always had a strong arm, and even when he started playing t-ball at age four, there

was something else that set him apart from every other pint-sized kid wearing cleats and a jersey. Unlike the other kids, who showed up to practice because their parents had signed them up, Massman really enjoyed being on the field.

Massman was born in St. Louis, and even after moving to Indiana at age five, the St. Louis Cardinals remained his favorite team. Growing up, he loved fishing and spent most of his weekends at his family’s lake house on the Lake of the Ozarks.

As a kid, he had both passion and talent for the game. Today, he dreams of playing professional baseball.

When Massman was younger, he frequently alternated between pitcher and shortstop until he was 12 years old, when he got moved to the outfield.

“I had a lot of natural instincts out there and was good at it, so I stuck out there and never went back,” Massman said.

Massman grew up playing football as well.

His hometown of Carmel, IN is a big football town. Since missing games or practices wasn’t really an option, he stopped playing football to focus more on baseball after his freshman year.

Recruitment for college athletics begins at different times for different people, but Mass-

man was recruited at the end of his freshman year and the beginning of his sophomore year. He’d also played for a couple summers on a travel team in Ohio, which was where the Miami coaching staff first noticed him.

Massman said he had a pretty specific idea of what he wanted for his college experience. A strong academic program and not being too far from home were high priorities. After a couple of visits to Oxford, he realized Miami fulfilled those requirements and many others.

Miami was one of the first schools to recruit him and, unlike other colleges that require a scholarship offer to be accepted within a couple weeks, Miami coach Danny Hayden allotted him nearly a year to contemplate his decision.

Massman’s favorite part of the team is the chemistry and camaraderie. It’s that close-knit dynamic that helps the team through tough practices and “Hell Week,” a set of intense workouts like running sprints in the scorching summer heat.

“We all get along, we mess around with each other all the time,” Massman said. “And that’s kind of why you play sports: to connect with people and build relationships that you would never have.”

When asked to describe himself in three words, he says he’s deliberative, sarcastic and serious. He’s always joking around with his closest friends, but doesn’t do anything without reason and purpose.

Massman’s friends often comment on his serious facial expression.

“They think it’s like angry or mad, but I’m not angry or mad, I’m just thinking about things,” he said.

He loves epic films like The Lord of the Rings and shows like Game of Thrones, and his music taste ranges from rap to country, depending on the season.

He says his proudest moment is the day he committed to play baseball at Miami.

“That was a huge moment in my life,” Massman said. “College is a big step in anybody’s life and the fact that I had a dream of always playing division one athletics and finally cemented that dream and made it a reality, and just making my parents proud.”

MASSMAN’S STRONG ARM BROKE A KID’S GLASSES IN KINDERGARTEN. IT LATER MADE HIM A LOGICAL CHOICE FOR MIAMI’S OUTFIELD. SEBASTIAN NEUFUSS THE MIAMI STUDENT

ZOEY BECKER

THE MIAMI STUDENT

This weekend, the Students for the Promotion of Writing (SPW) club will put on their eighth annual Oxford Writing Festival. Events will take place in multiple locations across campus, including Bachelor Hall and the Shriver Bookstore from Friday, April 10 - Sunday, April 12.

Three featured authors – Therese Anne Fowler, John Scalzi and Mindy McGinnis – will come to the Shriver Bookstore for readings and book signings.

Each of the authors have written books that correlate with this years theme: Written in the Stars.

John Scalzi is a prominent science fiction author, and Therese Anne Fowler, who is known for “Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald,” writes about fate and destiny. McGinnis writes books that deliver “grit, truth, and an unflinching look at humanity and the world around us,” according to her website.

Some other events include alumni panels, like one where participants can take part in a book swap with former Miami grads. The Miami Student Magazine will host a concert with graduate student Hannah Scheppler, and Happy Captive Magazine will hold a flash writing contest. There will be a guided walk across Western campus, where writers can look for inspiration under the stars. Participants can also enter a “collage poetry” event that seeks to combine writing and art.

“I think there’s something for everyone,” said sophomore Aliyah Cruz, secretary for SPW. “We have a range of authors — from sci-fi, to young adult, to historical writing and we have different events in between.”

SPW has been working on this year’s festival since last year; after each yearly festival concludes, the club gets right back to work on the next one, splitting the effort between the ten members that make up the organization.

“We’re small but mighty,” club president Anna Jankovsky said. “All of us are really passionate about the festival.”

Anna joined the club four years ago when she attended Mega Fair as a first-year student. As president, she’s aimed to get the first-year and sophomore students involved, so they can get the most out of the club and gain the internships and experience that she has.

“When I graduate, I would like to see [the festival] continue,” Jankovsky said. “The writing festival is a strong tradition that has been growing every year. I think we have

dattilec@miamioh.edu

It’s been written in the stars

Oxford Writing Fest is back

THE WRITING FESTIVAL’S THEME INCLUDES NATURE WALKS UNDER THE STARS, A STAR-STUDDED AUTHOR PANEL, AND RISING STAR ALUMNI MACY WHITAKER THE MIAMI STUDENT

“The festival is a time to celebrate being at Miami, and being a writer.” some good people to help carry on the tradition.”

Anna has watched the club grow for four years, and though there have been challenges along the way, each year the club has been able to put on a big festival, each stronger

than the year before.

“The biggest challenge is the fact that we’re students,” Jankovsky said. “We have a million other things going on … It can be difficult to balance putting together a really big festival with a lot of money, but

also having a lot of schoolwork to do.”

But the challenges have never deterred the club, and their motivation and passion for writing helps them put on the festival each year.

Cruz said she enjoys the community within the club and hopes to have more events outside of the festival in the coming years.

“Last year we did a writing contest for the Talawanda students,” Cruz said. “I like when we come together and decide the winner for our contests, because it really builds community.”

The club judges the festival’s

main writing contest, and this year the winner will be announced during the writing celebration on the last day of the event.

SPW invites anyone interested in writing, in any capacity, to come out and enjoy the festival.

“People should look forward to socializing with other people who like writing or reading,” Jankovsky said. “The festival is a time to celebrate being at Miami, and being a writer.” beckerzf@miamioh.edu

DATTILEC@MIAMIOH.EDU

TUESDAY, APRIL 9, 2019

CULTURE 7

A ‘round the clock’ relay for a cause DUARD HEADLEY CULTURE EDITOR

For 12 hours straight beginning last Friday night through Saturday morning, Goggin Ice Center bustled with activity and color. Balloon arches of pink and white hung over the doorways, a bright yellow and black inflatable slide sat invitingly on the outside lawn, and booths and tables of all colors filled the chilly hallways, wreathing the center ice rink.

Decked in leotards of deep, sparkling blue, figure skaters twirled and leapt across the frozen rink while therapy dogs in bright red vests happily wagged their tails from the floor above.

The members of this vibrant gathering had all come together for the same reason: to raise money and awareness for the fight against cancer.

The event that filled the halls of Goggin last Friday was Miami’s annual iteration of Relay for Life, a fundraiser that works directly to benefit the American Cancer Society in its mission to combat cancer.

The relay took place from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m., and was put on by Miami’s branch of Colleges Against Cancer, a student organization that strives to promote awareness and understanding of the disease year-round.

Participants in the relay donned wristbands to signify their involvement and walked the circuit around the center ice all throughout the night. In addition to participating in the relay itself, each team set up a game or activity for attendees to enjoy.

Around every corner of the ice center, there was a different booth or activity set up; some teams sold

STUDENTS FROM ACROSS CAMPUS CAME TOGETHER IN A CHORUS OF SUPPORT IN THE FIGHT AGAINST CANCER ZACH REICHMAN THE MIAMI STUDENT

refreshments like cookies and pizza, some hosted games like cornhole and others offered things like photo booths and homemade blankets.

Student attendees took to one activity with particular gusto; along one wall of the arena, a row of Miami professors sat in a line. Behind them, a hand-painted sign read ‘Pie-a-professor.’ For a small fee, anyone could revel in the act of smearing a pie in the face of one of their instructors.

Angela Curl, assistant professor of family science and social work,

said she was pleased to participate, despite the messy nature of the activity.

“When I received an email from my department chair, I volunteered right away,” she said. “It’s a really fun sort of activity to do for a great cause and I was glad to do it. I think my daughter, who is eight, was happy to. She pied me four times.”

Over the course of the 12 hour event, the various teams and organizations raised over $8,000 in the form of donations and item sales.

Alex Macauda, a junior finance and urban planning major and director of recruitment for Miami’s branch of Colleges Against Cancer, said he was happy with how the

event turned out.

“The money we raised was up from last year,” he said. “And because we held the event at Goggin this year, I think a lot of students were able to come and enjoy the activities.”

Macauda said that he’d love to see the event grow even more in future years.

“I’m looking to find ways to engage people outside of the Miami community,” he said. “I’d like to figure out a way to work with the Oxford Relay for Life, because I think we can do even more good if we work together.”

While students and staff were both involved with the relay, Macau-

da said he wants members of the Oxford community to come out as well.

“We’d like to have families and children at the event too,” he said. “I think having a mix of all ages there would be great. We’ve got a lot of ideas on how to change and improve the event in coming years, and that’s definitely one of them.”

Miami’s branch of Colleges Against Cancer is always looking for anyone with interest in raising support for the fight against cancer.

They fundraise year-round, and are already looking ahead to next year’s relay, hoping to make it as large and engaging as possible. headledd@miamioh.edu

“WE’D LIKE TO HAVE FAMILIES AND CHILDREN AT THE EVENT TOO,” MACAUDA SAID. “I THINK HAVING A MIX OF ALL AGES THERE WOULD BE GREAT. WE’VE GOT A LOT OF IDEAS ON HOW TO CHANGE AND IMPROVE IN COMING YEARS...”

ZACH REICHMAN THE MIAMI STUDENT

Sustainable shopping abounds at Zero Waste pop-up thrift shop HANNAH MONTGOMERY THE MIAMI STUDENT

If you’ve only got twenty dollars in your pocket, you can pop some tags in the Zero Waste Oxford Pop-Up Thrift Shop in the Armstrong Student Center. The student organization that promotes sustainable living returns on Monday, April 22.

Zero Waste Oxford teaches students how to reduce waste in their everyday lives and hosts the Pop-Up Shop around the corner from Café Lux. The Pop-Up Thrift Shop has made two week-long appearances in Armstrong this semester and will return for two weeks from April 22 until May 3.

The shop was inspired by other thrift stores that senior Katja Diekgers, co-founder and treasurer of Zero Waste Oxford, and other members of Zero Waste Oxford learned about at a zero waste conference earlier this year.

“Some colleges have permanent

thrift stores on campus that anyone can donate clothes to at anytime,” Diekgers said. “And it creates student jobs, and what they do with the proceeds is they make student scholarships out of it, and we thought that was the coolest thing ever.”

Though this pop-up shop is not permanent, Diekgers hopes that one day Miami can house its own on-campus thrift store.

“The goal for the thrift shop is to show Miami that it’s feasible, that it’s possible, that people want to be supporting a second hand industry on campus and that it will be successful,” Diekgers said. “Waste is our main focus, but we really prioritize in making Miami a more sustainable campus in general because it really isn’t the most sustainable and it could do a lot better.”

Volunteers who worked at the shop ranged from members of Zero Waste Oxford to residents of the Oxford community.

“I think it’s fun to have a thrift shop in the student center for stu-

dents just to browse,” said Chantel Raghu, a store volunteer and Oxford councilor. “It’s such a good stress relief.”

Later this month during Earth Week, Bea Johnson, zero waste guru and author of “Zero Waste Home,” will be at Miami to talk about her story and the waste-free lifestyle. Johnson and her family have been living a nearly zero waste lifestyle since 2008, with their annual trash compiling to fill one jar, according to her blog.

Until then, the Pop-Up Thrift Shop gives students a chance to reduce their environmental footprint and look stylish doing it. You might find someone’s granddad’s coat. You might even look incredible.

Donations can be dropped off between 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Wednesday, April 22 through Friday, May 3 at 201 South Main St. and 39° 84° Center in Peabody Hall. montgohr@miamioh.edu SAVE THE EARTH AND LOOK GOOD DOING IT AT THE POP-UP THRIFT SHOP. CONTRIBUTED BY ZERO WASTE OXFORD INSTAGRAM

Humor

8

SERIOMP@MIAMIOH.EDU

TUESDAY, APRIL 9, 2019

BIZARRE FRATERNATY RITUALS EXPOSED

DESIGN EDITOR CONNOR WELLS

MICHAEL SERIO NOAH BERTRAND

THE MIAMI STUDENT This week, The Miami Student’s humor section, the leading investigative reporters, went undercover in Miami’s Greek system.

The Student’s reporters looked for the inner workings of each fraternity, but uncovered so much more.

What you are about to read may be difficult for readers with a weak stomach, PTSD or astigmatism. Reader discretion is advised.

DKE constantly tries to impregnate one of their brothers with the antichrist.

Theta Chi sacrifices one pledge each year in order to satiate Ür-Kan, the blood god.

SigEp has pledged themselves to a Japanese feudal lord intent on becoming emperor.

Beta uses a giant pledge hamster wheel to power their house.

Fiji runs a covert operation to destabilize the government of Fiji and instate a communist leader.

DU is behind the 1881 assassination of President James A. Garfield.

Every Delta Chi pledge muAst recite the entire Azerbaijani national anthem, or face the wrath of the fraternity bear.

***

Delta Tau Delta has written a 200 page fan fiction on the extended universe of “Bring It On” each year since their founding in 1963.

Sammy reportedly goes through pounds and pounds of kitchen grade rosemary, and no one knows why.

Alpha Sig runs an illegal, underground whale fighting ring for old Serbian men.

TKE first-years reportedly had to raise a caiman from birth, only to shoot it on the last day of pledging (That’s gotta hurt!)

Every member of Delta Sig goes commando daily in order to show their support for the troops.

ADPhi pokes holes in the sandals of their pledges so their sweat just gets everywhere.

Into the lion’s den! Any pledge named Daniel will be brutally mauled by lions in the SAE basement.

All of Chi Psi is composed of three, eight-year-old boys in a trench coat trying to get into an R-rated film.

AEPi replaces all of their shoelaces with spaghetti (whether it is cooked or uncooked is up to the pledge).

Pike has not officially ratified the 1925 Geneva Convention, despite increased economic sanctions from the UN.

KATE RIGAZIO

The world looks a little different for Miami students Anna Rickard and Luke Thorton after studying abroad in predominantly white, English speaking countries.

“It’s totally crazy how much bigger the world feels after leaving the states,” said Rickard, a junior English major studying in Dublin, Ireland.

Rickard said the initial culture shock she experienced upon arriving in Ireland was dif-

ficult to overcome at first, stating that food, class structure and even money felt new to her.

“They use euros in Ireland, so for the first few weeks I felt like I was just using monopoly money,” Rickard said.

Despite the bumpy start, she eventually came to feel at home in the culture of which she was now a part.

“In the end, we’re all people,” Rickard said. “I came to realize that just because you drive on the other side of the road doesn’t mean you won’t reach the destination.”

Phi Delt pledges must spend at least an hour with the Forbidden One. He who keeps his mind keeps his bid.

Lambda Chi is just a very complicated AI, one who is searching ... for love.

Sigma Pi doesn’t believe in tadpoles, for they are not in the Bible.

Every member of Pi Kapp must roll in pudding once a month.

Sigma Chi pledges breed owls for war.

KA members take the phrase, “hungry enough to eat a horse,” very seriously.

seriomp@miamioh.edu bertrant@miamioh.edu

Students’ worldview ‘forever changed’ after studying abroad in a predominantly white, English speaking country FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT

Every member of Kappa Sigma cries at the end of “Titanic” because they truly believed Jack would never let go.

Thorton experienced a similar culture shock during his time abroad.

“I wanted to challenge myself,” said Thorton, a first-year finance major. “I chose not to do the Luxembourg program because I thought it was too safe. It was too alike what I was used to experiencing here at Miami.”

Thorton instead chose to participate in a winter, J-term, program based in Toronto, Canada. “It was for sure different, as it was not the United States,” Thorton said. “I could drink legally there, which was a very interesting cultural change that I had to adjust to.”

Please send hate mail directly to the author.

Both students found their time abroad helped open their eyes to the diversity of the world, as well as expose them to new cultural experiences.

“One kid in my class grew up with parents who taught him French before English,” Thorton said. “That was so interesting to hear, and almost difficult to wrap my head around at first.”

Language played an important role in Rickard’s experience as well.

“Even though they speak English in Ireland, the accent basically makes it a different language,” she said. “I finally understood what it was like to live with a language barrier.”

Even though the experience came with its fair share of challenges, Rickard and Thorton ultimately agreed studying abroad is an incredible opportunity to more fully appreciate the world.

“You just really can’t appreciate how diverse the world is until you immerse yourself in a culture different from your own,” Thorton said. rigazikm@miamioh.edu

SERIOMP@MIAMIOH.EDU

HUMOR 9

TUESDAY, APRIL 9, 2019

Rest of friend group unsure how to proceed after Beth admits Kevin has always been her favorite Jonas Brother KIRBY DAVIS

MANAGING EDITOR-AT-LARGE Friends Maddie Miller, Kaitlyn Burnett and Claire Jacobs, all seniors, held an emergency meeting the night of Sunday April 7 — without their friend, Beth Pullman — to discuss her standing.

The group learned the day before, April 6, during a discussion about the Jonas Brothers’ recent comeback, that Pullman’s favorite band member has always been, “and always will be,” according to her, Kevin Jonas.

Jacobs said she was “really surprised” by Pullman’s statement, and wondered if maybe she’d made it ironically.

“Beth loves attention,” Jacobs said.

“And this definitely got our attention.”

Burnett agreed, saying she was used to Pullman’s “attention whore” ways, but questioned why her friend hadn’t tried something less offensive to the rest of the group.

“She usually just texts her ex,” Bur-

nett said, then clarified: “The gross one, with the Tamagotchi and the trenchcoat.”

Miller said she felt compelled to defend Pullman, since she once favored Kevin, too. In 2007, Miller recalled, she had a poster of him she’d ripped out of J-14 magazine taped to her bathroom mirror.

“Well, it wasn’t a poster, exactly,” Miller said. “I don’t think they made Kevin posters. But he was definitely on the page.”

“Miller realized Nick Jonas was her favorite brother and maybe only man she’d ever love.”

NOAH BERTRAND

Miami University approved a controversial budget cut to the College and Arts and Sciences (CAS) and Student Counseling Services (SCS) in lieu of a more concentrated approach toward “high priority issues”: mustard.

Miami plans to invest millions of dollars into a variety of mustard-related improvement efforts. Garden Dining Hall will upgrade all of its drinking fountains from Heinz to Grey Poupon.

Multiple curricula will be diverted to incorporate more mustard in the classroom. And Miami as a whole has changed its stance on the 1925 banning of sulfur mustard.

“It’s becoming a little much,” said Keith Goorb, a sophomore finance major who is feeling affected by the changes.

Goorb was forced to consume a full bottle of mustard last night for his mustard economics class.

“It was really tough, and I know that it’s building skill for the future, but I just don’t know if I can cut it,” he said.

Goorb has received three failing grades in a row on his homework assignments, and one more could result

“It would be really awkward if they kicked me out now,” Pullman said. “I’m not, like, super attached to these people, but I’m also not gonna make new friends one month before graduation.”

As Pullman began deliberating whether she really needed to make new friends since she’d be starting an internship at P&G in Chicago in one month and would probably never see these people again, Burnett called her back into the living room.

Jacobs and Burnett issued their verdict to a visibly apathetic Pullman, who scrolled through Instagram while her housemates spoke.

“We’ve decided to keep you as a friend,” Jacobs said. “Because, while we don’t agree with or condone your life choices …” “ ... It could be worse,” Burnett said.

“At least you didn’t know who Olivia Jade was before the college admissions scandal.” daviskn3@miamioh.edu

MIAMI INVESTS IN YELLOW GOLD ASST. HUMOR EDITOR

After the Disney Channel Original Movie “Camp Rock’s” release in 2008, though, Miller realized Nick Jonas was her favorite Brother, and maybe the only man she’d ever love.

“What?” said her boyfriend, who spoke to The Student on the condition of anonymity.

The friends deliberated for most of Sunday night about whether to keep Pullman in the group or oust her. Pullman waited, in the home all four share, in her and Burnett’s room.

in a trip to the vats.

While the changes seem unprompted, some reports suggest that the changes could be motivated by outside lobbying pressures.

Big Mustard has never been afraid to insert themselves in higher education, and the swiftness with which these changes are being made has some feeling suspicious.

The Student reached out to Miami’s university president at his newly-painted yellow estate on campus, but Crawford declined to comment, other than to say that he would “prefer to be called Colonel now.”

CAS’ academic offices will take the greatest hit, with the majority of their funding slated to be reallocated for mustard purposes.

Reports pointed to SCS funding reductions as a likely response to the growing rates of mental health issues across campus.

“It was a bit of a bummer when my counselor was fired due to the budget cuts, I think my mental health has taken a hit,” senior analytics major Leonard Regent said. “But at least yellow is an aesthetically pleasing color. bertrant@miamioh.edu

The art of the deal: Crawford traded his soul for blues guitar skills WILL BABBIT

THE MIAMI STUDENT University president Gregory Crawford has wowed audiences throughout the Miami University community with his newfound blues guitar skills.

Students were blown away at his “inclusive jam sesh” in the dining area of the student section last month, and since then has fielded record deal offers from big names in the blues industry.

Crawford offers “a brave new sound” to the people of Oxford, OH. But reports from a collection of residents suggest he may not have come by this new talent honestly.

“It was like something out of a southern folk tale,” said Jimmy John’s Assistant Shift Manager Jaysin Brough to The Miami Student. “It looked like he was burning this sort of, I don’t know, poorly-sculpted satanic offering made of Juul pods and eco-friendly Starbucks straws.

He was literally kneeling at the crossroads of Tallawanda and High, like he was just, like, waiting for someone.”

Ogden Hall resident and sophomore Trista Niekamp was shocked to witness that fateful night.

“The fire went out, all the streetlamps went dark and this dark figure with a shiny blue Fender Squier guitar emerged from

behind a bush,” she said. “I was looking out my window, so I couldn’t hear very well, but it sounded like Crawford offered to sacrifice his soul and remove student input from the disciplinary system if he could be given the skills to become the best blues artist in the land.”

The Crawfords have fought to rise above this university-wide scandal as they prepare for their upcoming event, “Energy Chews, Running Shoes and Silky Blues with Greg and Renate!”

“I’ve got no idea, quite frankly, where these gross accusations are taking root,” Crawford said in a statement to The Student.“I’ve devoted my time here to making sure the fabric of our Miami community has been inclusive, so I can shred the grooviest solos southwestern Ohio has ever seen.”

Crawford declined to comment whether or not he traded his soul in exchange to “tame those wild strings.”

As Renate’s drum skills have rapidly advanced, and Ivy has blown audiences away with her bass guitar ability, suspicious fans have only just begun to question Miami’s first family.

Look out for Energy Chews, Running Shoes, and Silky Blues with Greg and Renate! Now streaming on Zune! babbitwc@miamioh.edu

ASG condemns three student orgs to labor camp for funding requests MICHAEL SERIO HUMOR EDITOR

Last Thursday, a handful of Miami University students stood by as an old prison steam engine departed north to transport three student orgs to a labor camp after the clubs requested funding from Associated Student Government (ASG).

The orgs sent to the gulags include Anime Club, “Support the Poor” service club and Wine Tasters United. All came before senate last Tuesday to receive their sentence after they submitted their funding requests.

“All we wanted was eight more dollars to buy a Naruto film on Blu-ray,” said labor camp prisoner and ex-anime club president, Prisoner 23341. “When I asked for it, I was immediately yelled at in Russian by several bearded men, put in ankle shackles, which consist of a large ball and chain, and given an old-timey prison uni-

form to put on.”

The prisoners were last seen shackled together, boarding the train as they sang a solemn, soulful rendition of Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville,” a traditional song passed down from generation to generation.

The labor camps are located in a cold, desolate wasteland similar to the frigid tundra of Siberia, which the native peoples refer to as “Cleveland:” a place where everything exists only in black and white, and no one smiles. The only crops that grow in the hard, infertile soil are radishes, which the prisoners must cultivate and eat in order to survive.

This was not the first time an organization has been sent to the labor camp.

Before this incident, the “I Love Latin” club was sentenced to 30 years of hard labor in a chain gang for asking for three dollars to buy a platter of Kroger soft cookies for their next meeting.

“We made it clear that any organiza-

tion that requested more money would be punished severely and without restraint,” said ASG Supreme Magistrate Aaron Yechilson. “We simply cannot allocate more money to student organizations when we need to sweep it back and spend that money on nuclear submarines and fancy hats.”

ASG plans to ramp up the current system in the future. There is an initiative to be proposed on the senate floor which proposes that every member of a student

org be required to show residency papers and a passport to an old, gaunt border guard every time they enter and leave Armstrong Student Center.

“The student orgs need to learn their place,” whispered Yechilson as he slowly slid a knife between the ribs of the late reporter Catherine Riogazie, “Everyone imposes their will as far as their army can reach.” seriomp@miamioh.edu

“Everyone imposes their will as far as their army can reach”

If you can’t reach the author, or want to harass a sad man, my assistant’s email is bertrant@miamioh.edu.

Sports

10

VINELCA@MIAMIOH.EDU

TUESDAY, APRIL 9, 2019

BASEBALL REMAINS TIED WITH 1972 TEAM FOR PROGRAM’S BEST START

FRESHMAN LEFT-HANDED PITCHER TYLER BOSMA THROWS A PITCH AGAINST ST. BONAVENTURE ON FRIDAY, MARCH 15.

THE MIAMI STUDENT ZACH REICHMAN.

CHRIS VINEL

SPORTS EDITOR

With a chance to make history, Miami baseball wasn’t able to break any records against Toledo, but that doesn’t mean it was a bad weekend.

This season’s RedHawks are still tied with their 1972 counterparts for the best start in program history at 24-6 (7-2 Mid-American). They won their seventh straight series by taking two out of three from the Rockets (10-17, 1-6 MAC) this weekend.

Miami claimed Friday’s game 10-6 and Saturday’s 3-2, before falling 7-5 in the series finale on Sunday.

Today and tomorrow, the team will take a quick break from MAC play

to participate in the 11th annual Joe Nuxhall Classic.

Outfielder Parker Massman gets it going After hitting just under .260 during his freshman year, Massman started his sophomore campaign in an under-.200 slump. He came into the three-game set against the Rockets with a .193 average but broke out with a pair of strong performances. His batting average currently sits at .235.

Massman starred in the first two games of the weekend, tallying four hits and driving in four runs in eight at-bats. He entered the series with seven RBIs on the season and now has 11.

Massman’s two-run home run — his first dinger of the season — was

the difference between a Miami win or loss on Saturday, as the RedHawks grinded out a 3-2 victory.

In his team’s lone defeat of the series, Massman went 0-for-3.

Cristian Tejada stays hot Tejada has been a pleasant surprise for Miami head coach Danny Hayden’s ballclub this season. After a 2018 in which he started less than a third of Miami’s games, the sophomore outfielder leads the team in hitting with a .353 average and 11 extra-base hits this season. He’s grabbed control of centerfield, moving Massman to right field.

Even when he’s held hitless, like in Game One against the Rockets, Tejada manages to make an impact.

He went 0-for-3 with two strikeouts, but he walked three times and

Nike Sibande enters his name into 2019 NBA Draft

SOPHOMORE GUARD NIKE SIBANDE WILL SHOOT HIS SHOT AT HIS NBA DREAMS. HE DECLARED FOR THE 2019 NBA DRAFT ON FRIDAY. ASST. PHOTO EDITOR BO BRUECK

scored two runs.

Tejada bounced back at the plate in Game Two and Three, going a combined 5-for-8 with two RBIs and another run scored.

Miami set to defend Nuxhall Classic crown In what former Miami catcher Hayden Senger once called “probably the most important week of our season,” the RedHawks will take part in the Joe Nuxhall Classic at Cincinnati’s Marge Schott Stadium today and tomorrow.

Since 2009, Miami has competed with Wright State, Cincinnati and Xavier for Southwestern Ohio baseball supremacy in the annual showcase. The RedHawks have claimed the last two Nuxhall Championships after enduring the first eight years

CHRIS VINEL

SPORTS EDITOR

Nike Sibande plans to test National Basketball Association (NBA) waters.

Miami head men’s basketball coach Jack Owens announced in a statement Friday morning that Sibande will enter his name into the 2019 NBA Draft.

“We are taking the necessary steps to get the proper feedback for Nike, so he can make an informed decision about his future,” Owens said in the statement. “He will evaluate his feedback and has an open mind about returning to Miami.”

Sibande later posted a statement confirming his decision on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

“I’m eager to embrace this opportunity and put everything I’ve learned toward being the best player I can be at the next level,” Sibande wrote in the post.

The sophomore guard will spend the next two months being graded

by NBA talent evaluators.

“I’m super excited,” Sibande told The Student. “This is what I’ve dreamed of doing since I was a kid.

Now, it’s the time to do it. It’s like, this is about to be crazy. It’s about to be fun.”

He can pull himself from the player selection pool and decide to come back to Miami by 5 p.m. on June 10. Still 19 years old, he turns 20 on June 6.

He does not currently plan to hire an agent. He could sign with one and still return to the RedHawks, as long as he ends his deal with the agent before coming back.

“Right now, it’s a good time for me [to declare] because I just had a solid year and had some good accomplishments,” Sibande said. “I’m thankful for my team and my coach-

of the tourney without a title.

Miami opens against Wright State at 3 p.m. today. Senior Bailey Martin is the probable MU starter. The RedHawks and the Raiders didn’t play in last season’s “Nuxy.”

Tomorrow, Miami will play either Xavier or Cincinnati at 3 or 6:30 p.m. The opponent and time both depend on which teams win the first-round matchups. With a victory over the Raiders, the RedHawks will advance to the tournament finals. With a loss, they’ll have to settle for the third-place game. vinelca@miamioh.edu @ChrisAVinel

es, and I had a good year. I feel like I can do something at the next level or try to make some noise and get some type of interest or feedback.”

If Sibande has played his last game in a RedHawks’ uniform, he leaves Oxford with many awards and accolades in tow.

During his freshman season, Sibande won the 2018 Mid-American Conference Freshman of the Year award with 15.1 points per game, while leading Miami to its first postseason tournament berth since 2011.

The Indianapolis native, who attended Crispus Attucks High School, followed that by dropping 16.1 points per game and earning a third-team All-MAC selection in his sophomore campaign.

Last month, Sibande became the first sophomore in Miami men’s basketball history to reach 1,000 career points.

“I’m definitely proud of what I’ve done here,” Sibande said. “Each year I’ve been here, this school’s been getting better and better. If I have played my last game as a RedHawk, this school is definitely on the come up. It’s definitely going to be a top team in the MAC, for sure.”

The RedHawks have gone 1618 and 15-17, respectively, since Sibande’s arrival in the fall of 2017.

Before that, they hadn’t won more than 15 games since the 2010-2011 season.

Sibande said he’ll listen to the feedback he receives and use it to his advantage, if he decides to return to Miami.

“I just want to know everything,” Sibande said. “I want to know what I need to get better at. The things that nobody wants to hear, I want to hear.” vinelca@miamioh.edu @ChrisAVinel

VINELCA@MIAMIOH.EDU

TUESDAY, APRIL 9, 2019

SPORTS 11

Women’s basketball looks to sustain success next season EMILY SIMANSKIS

SPORTS EDITOR-AT-LARGE

Two weeks ago, Miami’s women’s basketball season ended in a 67-63 loss to Western Kentucky in the first round of the Women’s National Invitation Tournament.

The game – where the RedHawks led by eight at the half, but were outscored 24-12 in the third quarter leading to the narrow defeat – epitomizes Miami’s season.

The ’Hawks won 11 games through the months of January and February —good for the program’s fifth-longest winning streak — but lost three of their last four before the Mid-American Conference Tournament.

Finishing third in the MAC after the regular season, Miami secured a first-round MAC-Tournament bye and handily defeated Toledo 72-54 in the quarterfinals, but Ohio crushed the RedHawks 74-48 in the semifinals.

“The hard part was keeping [the streak] sustained for the whole season,” head coach Megan Duffy said.

“That’s what we saw a little bit at the end of the season — not having enough pieces playing well together at the right time. But, I mean, I don’t know how many other programs in the country could say they won 11 straight. I thought that was something to be proud of, too.”

In her second year as head coach, Duffy led her team to finish 23-9 overall and 13-5 in the MAC. After last year’s 21-11 (12-6 MAC) record, this is the first time the women’s basketball team earned back-toback 20-win seasons since the 1980s.

The RedHawks were led largely by experience and, for all but five games, their starting lineup consisted entirely of juniors and seniors.

Junior guard Lauren Dickerson had already amassed 1,000 heading into the 2018-19 season, but senior forward Kendall McCoy and senior guard Leah Purvis joined the elite list during the year. The threesome made history, as they became the first trio to play together with 1,000 points each.

“It’s special to have three players on one team to have scored that many points,” Duffy said. “I think Leah’s the one that sticks out that she scored that many points because we looked at her so much, especially this year, as a defensive stopper, and doing whatever it takes.”

Senior forward Kristen Levering became a dependable sixth wom-

MIAMI’S BENCH CHEERS ON THE REDHAWKS DURING THE ANNUAL LOVE.HONOR.CARE. GAME AGAINST BOWLING GREEN ON SATURDAY, FEB. 23.

THE MIAMI STUDENT ZACH REICHMAN

bounds per game compared to 1.3 last year.

McCoy, Purvis, Levering and other starter senior guard Baleigh Reid helped the RedHawks to their best finish since 2007-08 (23-11 overall). They were part of Duffy’s historic turnaround last season and bought into her gameplan again this year.

“The four seniors, can’t say enough about them continuing to buy in and accepting change – that’s always a hard thing,” Duffy said. “They were great the entire year with that.”

Another standout was Kluesner, who was the most improved RedHawk between 2017-18 and 201819. She started in all but four games, and her average points per game improved from 8.4 to 13.4.

Her average rebounds per game jumped from 4.6 to 8.1.

Freshman guard Nia Clark started six of her nine games played and averaged 10.6 points, before suc-

“The hard part was keeping [the streak] sustained for the whole season.”

- Megan Duffy

an, as she often replaced McCoy or junior forward Savannah Kluesner when the RedHawks needed a defensive boost and rebounding.

Levering averaged only 2.4 points per game last year but collected 7.1 per game this season, and she pulled down an average of 5.2 re-

cumbing to a knee injury that kept her out for the rest of the season.

“We’re excited about getting her back and having an offseason to rehab and really improve,” Duffy said. “That hurt us a little bit with our depth and athleticism.”

Clark and Miami will petition the NCAA to grant the RedHawk a redshirt year.

Though star performances from upperclassmen led Miami to its 11-game win streak, the stars’ consistency fizzled down the stretch.

For the RedHawks’ last four games, Dickerson, McCoy and Kluesner all averaged several points less than their season averages, while Purvis, Reid and Levering averaged slightly better.

“We played really good competition down the stretch and, when you get to that point and you’re playing with a championship and you’re playing Ohio [University], who’s at the top of the league, you have to play great to beat them,” Duffy said. “I didn’t think we played our best game that one night, and trying to get that balance of all players playing great at the same time, we just didn’t do.

The Bobcats would go on to make the WNIT quarterfinals, whereas the RedHawks suffered the firstround loss.

For Miami, which was picked to finish second in the MAC East and indeed finished there, Duffy is pleased with her team’s play, though unsustained through the last stretch of the season.

“We weren’t catching people off guard anymore, and people took us a lot more seriously, and there’s a little bit more of a target on our back and pressure situations down the stretch in March, which is a great thing for your program to be in,” Duffy said. “I think that’s one of the big things moving forward — figuring out one, how to keep it at that level, and how do you win some of those really close games down the stretch.” simansec@miamioh.edu @emilysimanskis

’Hawks Talk “Did we win that one? No? Still lost? That game will always be a part of me.” ⁃⁃ Chris Bergeron said after being asked about the 4-3 overtime 2009 National Championship loss he was part of as an assistant coach.

“I want to be the first Miami hockey coach to win a national championship.”

TUESDAY

SOFTBALL GAME ONE (DH) Miami ������������������������������������������������������������� 10 Bowling Green �������������������������������������������������� 6 GAME TWO (DH) Miami ����������������������������������������������������������������7 Bowling Green ������������������������������������������������� 2

WEDNESDAY

BASEBALL Northern Kentucky ����������������������������������������� 3 Miami ��������������������������������������������������������������� 7

FRIDAY

BASEBALL Miami ������������������������������������������������������������� 10 Toledo ��������������������������������������������������������������� 6

SOFTBALL Miami ��������������������������������������������������������������� 3 Northern Illinois ��������������������������������������������� 1

TENNIS Toledo ��������������������������������������������������������������� 3 Miami �������������������������������������������������������������� 4

SATURDAY

BASEBALL Miami ��������������������������������������������������������������� 3 Toledo ��������������������������������������������������������������� 2

SOFTBALL GAME ONE (DH) Miami ��������������������������������������������������������������� 3 Northern Illinois �������������������������������������������� 4 GAME TWO (DH) Miami �������������������������������������������������������������� 4 Northern Illinois ��������������������������������������������� 3

TENNIS Dayton ������������������������������������������������������������� 0 Miami ��������������������������������������������������������������� 7

SUNDAY

BASEBALL Miami ��������������������������������������������������������������� 5 Toledo ��������������������������������������������������������������� 7

Opinion

12

FINFROBD@MIAMIOH.EDU

TUESDAY, APRIL 9, 2019

STAFF EDITORIAL

Editorial Endorsement

Perkins and Rossi promise real change, not platitudes The following reflects the majority opinion of the editorial board.

Beginning today, Miami students have the opportunity to vote for who they want to represent the student body as the Student Body President (SBP) and Vice-President (VP). This is a crucial choice for Miami students, as Associated Student Government (ASG) controls nearly $1.2 million in student fees and has direct lobbying influence over many aspects of student life.

After meeting with both campaigns, The Miami Student Editorial Board endorses Jaylen Perkins and Dante Rossi as the best candidates to lead ASG and the Miami student body through the next year. We believe Perkins and Rossi are the best candidates to represent the varied interests of the Miami student body.

Perkins and Rossi have carefully crafted ideas and real-world advocacy experience to lead ASG in a new direction. They have worked as leaders within the Miami community over the past three years to fight for issues that truly matter, especially regarding the experiences of minority populations on this campus. The Perkins-Rossi ticket has a clearly defined vision for diversity, student wellness and the betterment of the Greek community at Miami. They offer a new perspective to ASG as students who have been a part of the Black Action Movement 2.0 (BAM 2.0) and as students who are not tied to the internal drama that has plagued ASG this past academic year. We expect our student leaders to hold themselves to a higher standard than we have seen, and The Student believes Perkins and Rossi are more than capable of doing so.

This is the kind of leadership which ASG desperately needs.

The Perkins-Rossi campaign has made Greek life a central pillar in their campaign. Given the events in recent weeks within Delta Tau Delta, our next student leaders must be equipped to recognize both the importance of Greek life to nearly a quarter of students on campus and the problems it needs to address, especially within IFC. While all candidates running for SBP and VP are a part of Greek life, the Perkins-Rossi campaign is the only one to place Greek life as a central platform of their campaign. Their plan includes working with the Tri-Council to recognize the issues facing the Greek community while also promoting the values of philan-

thropy and leadership that are integral to many of the Greek organizations on our campus.

Their campaign has the most comprehensive plan to address the lack of diversity on campus, which starts with changing the environment on campus. Their plan includes creating more multicultural LLCs and diversity training workshops at convocation and orientation, and hosting more cultural events on campus that take center stage, rather than one-off attempts at town halls that fail to garner real student attendance. These are real plans, not platitudes, which will actually help foster and promote diversity on campus and encourage more students from underrepresented communities to enroll at Miami.

Not only that, but Perkins-Rossi expressed a desire to promote more transparency between ASG and the student body.

Our job here at The Student becomes unnecessarily difficult

ROSSI AND PERKINS AIM TO CHANGE MIAMI’S CULTURE PHOTO BY JUGAL JAIN

We stan an April Fool king: George Clooney (and no one else)

HALEY MILLER STAFF WRITER

“I didn’t at all mean to be insensitive to people who can’t have children,” read the E! News graphic of a pensive-looking, bleachblonde Justin Bieber.

This photo and caption were the first things I saw when I rolled over, turned off my alarm, and began my morning scroll on April 2. Bieber offered his apology after he pulled an April Fools joke on his Instagram followers, attempting to convince them that he and his new wife, Hailey Baldwin, were expecting.

When the newlyweds posted a photo of an ultrasound on Instagram, they joined the illustrious cohort of “Celebrities who pretended to be pregnant” this year. Arie Luyendyk of former Bachelor fame commented “Made this mistake last year… definitely learned my lesson,” on the same E! post.

Lil Xan and his YouTuber girlfriend were accused of faking their pregnancy once fans noticed that the ultrasound they posted was the first picture to come up in a Google Image search for “9 week ultrasound.” Lily Collins also posed with a prosthetic baby bump on April 1, proving that fake pregnancy pranks are having a moment.

It seems that in the age of social media, celebrities have co-opted April Fools Day and turned it into “National Post a Lie or Badly Photoshopped Image Day.” Have we fundamentally forgotten the difference between a prank and a lie?

In addition to the Bieber post, I was bamboozled by posts from two Real Housewives of New York, and Dr. Phil. Countess LuAnn lied about switching cities, Dorinda Medley posted a sad photo of an engagement ring and Dr. Phil appeared to have shaved his iconic ‘stash.

Instagram was a minefield of blonde Mindy Kalings and spoilers for Game of Thrones (a show which apparently has a massive, rabid fan base.) As if Instagram weren’t enough, I received multiple-paragraph texts which seemed to be serious, only to end with the question, “Do you know the muffin man?”

I couldn’t help but wonder, when did we forget how to prank? And why did every B-list celebrity seem intent on sharing a lie, only for

TENT SALE S H R I V E R W E S T PAT I O

me to tag my sister in a panic, then for her to comment, “Haley, it’s April Fools Day still?”

Also why am I still following Dr. Phil on Twitter?

All of these are equally important questions. So I unfollowed Dr. Phil and did my best Carrie Bradshaw impression, which is to say, I was a bad friend and spent all my money on shoes. After that, I still could not help but wonder why we all were so willing to deceive and be deceived, rather than cover toilet seats with plastic wrap.

Ask George Clooney – a good prank can sustain you for years. After moving in with Richard Kind following his divorce in 1993, Clooney dutifully cleaned Kind’s cat’s litter box every day, eventually convincing his roommate that his cat was constipated. Until one day, when Clooney placed his own human poop in the litter box and said that it was the cat.

We could fill the paper with excellent pranks from George Clooney. We could probably fill the paper with excellent pranks that George Clooney played on Richard Kind only.

And that is because Clooney understands what makes a good prank.

For those who may have forgotten, a prank is defined as “a practical joke or mischievous act.” Technically, a lie can be classified as a mischievous act, but if every other former contestant of Survivor is lying about writing a book, it’s high time you start relying on practical jokes.

Using the Clooney Guide to pranking, let’s help these B-list celebrities celebrate the true meaning of April Fools Day. Firstly, the best pranks take time. Play the long game, like when Clooney had the costume designer on Monuments Men take in Matt Damon’s pants a little bit each day, driving Damon to dieting madness.

Secondly, the best pranks incite shock, awe and disbelief. In theory, a lie can cause as much, if not more outrage than a practical joke. Yet, it is the effort that will be the most disturbing element and drive the prankee to the edge of insanity. Why do you think Sally Field gets so upset at the end of Mrs. Doubtfire? Not because her husband lied and said he was the kids’ British nanny, but because the twisted prank lasted months and required meticulous drag makeup, hair and wardrobe every day!

We need to rediscover the glory of a true, unbridled prank. Usually, I roll my eyes when old people (anyone over the age of 25) tell me to stop ruining my wellbeing and physical health by staring at a tiny screen all day, then tweet condescendingly about the interaction.

But in this instance, we need to stop living online and start proudly performing shenanigans, tomfoolery and jest IRL. millerhh@miamioh.edu

when our reporters struggle to gain access and information from ASG — information that should be public in the first place.

There are many students on this campus who have never heard of ASG and do not know its purpose or who their representatives are. This is a perennial problem that we try to fight with our reporting, but only so many people can be enthralled by our ASG coverage every week. It is ASG’s responsibility to make themselves available to their constituents.

This culture must change, and the Perkins-Rossi campaign has a plan to do it. They have measurable ideas to reach out to constituents, like a monthly newsletter sent out from ASG to the student body, which would include the minutes from ASG meetings.

These are steps in the rights direction in not just promoting more transparency between ASG and The Miami Student, but between ASG and the whole student body.

We believe in Jaylen Perkins and Dante Rossi and in their platform, because they have the experience to back up what they stand for.

Perkins serves as a Resident Assistant, the president of the Black Student Action Association, the financial secretary of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity and was one of the leaders of BAM 2.0.

Rossi is the president of the Honors Student Advisory Board, a member of the Chi Psi fraternity and an undergraduate teaching assistant. His research and advocacy has focused on the experiences of members of the LGBTQA+ community.

They are both members of the marginalized communities at Miami and they seek to include and represent these communities more fully.

It’s all too easy for career ASG senators to become complacent in their role and do little to measurably change the Miami community. Perkins and Rossi’s perspectives as outsiders give them an edge, and they will be less likely to take “No” for an answer from the Miami administration. Their history of community organizing is encouraging when we look for real changes we hope to see on campus.

Perkins and Rossi have the chance to make history at Miami and create real social change on this campus. We encourage the Miami community to see this as an opportunity to change the narrative.

Empathy is important, even when you’re joking

ERIN GLYNN

ASST. NEWS EDITOR It really snuck up on me.

I was sitting in class last week, waiting for lecture to begin, when two girls walked by.

“I have so much homework this weekend, it just makes me want to kill myself,” one of them said.

Suddenly, there was no way I could focus on astronomy. I spent the next 15 minutes taking deep breaths and trying to blink back tears.

Our generation has a twisted way of talking about issues sometimes. We’re prone to exaggeration in general, and the more dramatically we complain, the funnier we find it. I’m no exception. But since losing my brother to suicide in August, hearing these kinds of comments is a shock every time.

It’s true that dark humor can sometimes function as a coping mechanism. However, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, these comments, even if they are meant as jokes, can be warning signs of suicide, and no passerby can necessarily tell what you mean. To joke about suicide and mental health can trivialize these issues and be stigmatizing for the people who are actually struggling.

Those people make up a great deal of any campus population. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, one in four Americans ages 18 to 24 have a diagnosable mental illness and suicide is the third leading cause of death on college campuses.

This “edgy” humor problem is very specific to our generation, possibly stemming from the internet culture we’ve grown up with.. Perhaps the ways in which the majority of our social interaction has moved online have desensitized us to the human reactions our words can cause.

The need to express what we think and how we feel in punchy tweets and Instagram captions has led to ridiculous hyperbole as

we search for the words with the most emotional impact.

It’s one thing when I can see it coming.

But if I’m sitting in class, I don’t want to hear that your workload makes you want to kill yourself.

On my best days, a comment like that will throw me off balance – maybe just a discrete tear. On my worst, I have to walk out of the room.

I don’t mean to imply that I’ve never made these kind of stupid comments. I shudder to think about the consequences, if the worst off-hand comments I made in high school were overheard by people suffering.

But, the fact is, comments like that were never really funny.

Recently Roseanne Barr joked about being suicidal after being fired from ABC. “I’d never kill myself because that would make too many f***ing people happy, and I’m not about making people happy,” she said.

I know people don’t generally mean to be hurtful, but the fact is that kind of attempt

But if I’m sitting in class, I don’t want to hear that your workload makes you want to kill yourself. at humor is really upsetting and, yeah, triggering. It’s seen as sort of avant-garde. It’s meant to be provocative. But at the risk of sounding like a total hippie, isn’t the most radical, the most counter-cultural thing we could do is to conduct ourselves with as much love for our fellow humans as possible?

Having realized just how precious life is, I would rather spend it making sure the people around me feel loved, or at least comfortable, and are laughing at actual jokes.

We have no idea what the people around us are going through at any given time, and it costs us nothing to act with as much empathy as possible.

If you or someone you care about is depressed or may be at risk of suicidal thinking, please refer to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or call 1 (800) 273-8255. glynnee@miamioh.edu

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