O COLLEGIALITY!
O Collegiality! Art thou driven by fear of litigality? Thou dancest the hokey-pokey with bumptious zeal, But thy all-embracing kneez-up is too warm and fuzzy, plain unreal. Thou art the new chum on the block. Wilt thou too be axed like Heideggerian hermaneutics and construct validity post hoc? What was wrong with ornery Supportivity? Or collectivisation? O Collegiality! Thou who fraternises and sororises with Duty and Unity and Immunity, Impunity, Anonymity and Dozy, Thou wearest an earnest face beneath thy boater, Blessed with enough iota to tote a tertiary education quota. Thou art so politically correct in thy allegiance, Expecting thy colleagues to pledge to thou obejience. But even thou art notorious for knifing thy legends in the lumbar region, For thy volte-faces are legion. O Collegiality, o calamity! Where is thy sting of individuality? In the kibbutzim and kolkhozzes thou may be legit, But above a collegiate lectern Independence of Mind should be large writ. Methinks thy catch-cry begins to sound as syrupy as college pudding, For all thy intentions honourable and genial do-gooding. Though thou art invoked in reverential tones to ingratiate and please, Yet I fear thou sufferest from Collegionaire’s disease. O Collegiality! In thy heart lies false egality.
Michael Small March 21-23, 2000