A legend laundered

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M I C HAEL S M AL L, W RITER MONDAY, 7 FEBRUARY 2011

A LEGEND LAUNDERED ‘I notice at mass, Nora, you mangle your hands instead of holding them palms facing in the traditional gesture of reverence. You must show far more self-control and genuine contrition when you pray for your trespasses to be forgiven. Otherwise you will never find salvation, only exacerbate your nervous condition.’ Am I truly penitent? I know that my Redeemer liveth, yet I’m bid go down on my knees as soon as the morning bell rings and say that many Hail Mary’s til’ I’m ready to pass out, while those nuns what are supposed to be watching over our souls, even if it be too late to guard our bodies, these pious old biddies wear their pride on their sleeve, always seeking to find fault, hardly ever smile, their lips pinched uncharitable and mean. In the shadows of these cold, grey walls they grow whiskers and rustle like rats. At times my anger bubbles up like a steaming copper and it’s me as wields the stick, but the nuns are that strict you don’t dare answer back. Forgive and forget, as the saying goes, but I can’t forget and forgiving is terrible hard to come by, that’s what I confess to my Maker, even as I seek forgiveness from Him. Those hard-boiled harpies and the other crows, them what helps, what trimmers they are, calling us unmarried girls in trouble, them what’s expecting, bad girls. But it’s themselves that wears black, inside and out. Do they truly pray for our salvation? So I says to them I wouldn’t sign the adoption papers asked of me on my day of admittance. I wouldn’t give no consent. What, give my baby up to a complete stranger! Whisked off as soon as bub sees light of day. Huh, didn’t they half kick up a stink, by jingoes! I know for a fact Ernest will come to the Convent and take me away. So starving hungry am I that several times I’ve brought up a yellowish bile as soon as I get a sniff of breakfast, huh, so-called, porridge bubbling away in a large vat in the refectory kitchen. What gluggy lumps gets left over then gets thrown in to thicken the watery soup for lunch. The nuns show no pleasantness, no feeling, not to no-one, saving Sister Bede, who’s kind and caring and permits herself a slight smile of encouraging but can speak harsh when the other nuns are having a sticky, but they


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