Good Sports: Coaching with Class

Kneeling (from left): Gerard LaTour, Dave Parisi, Larry Decore, Neil Goldstein, Joe LoVerde, Glen Bradshaw, John Aliseo. Standing (from left): Tony Barbuto, Joe Parlemini, Mike Regan, John Augello, Lou Liotta, Mark Christie, Gene Forsythe, Tommy Long, Mr. John.

COACHING with CLASS BY JOE LOVERDE A local sportswriter and coach for youth sports on Staten Island for nearly 40 years.

How one coach’s calm and fair approach to leading a team inspired another to follow in his footsteps for life.

He asked us to call him “Mr. John.” I never knew his last name, but he figured that wasn’t a detail we needed to know when he gathered us around home plate at the first practice for our Mid-Island Babe Ruth League team that chilly March afternoon in 1969.

He introduced himself as our manager. He didn’t have any coaches to help him. We didn’t know anything else about him because he had never run a youth sports team before. He had children, but they didn’t play ball. He was a tailor, who owned his own business. He would come to practices and games straight from work, often wearing a white collar shirt and dress pants. He didn’t have to be there; he accepted the role because someone from the league told him there was a team without a manager, and Mr. John met the call.

He was a volunteer in the truest sense.

Mr. John would be my manager the next three years, until I was 15. During that time, he never raised his voice. He laughed a lot. We practiced often. He wanted to win, but it was never life and death. I loved playing for him.

Mr. John wanted all of his players to have a great experience. He treated every player with respect, no matter the ability level. He didn’t embarrass you with harsh words after a mistake or if you failed in a situation. He wouldn’t let you risk further injury by asking you to play when you were hurt. He treated his players the way he hoped a coach would have treated his own children.

Players rarely missed a game when they played on Mr. John’s team. It was too much fun.

When I turned 18, I got the chance to run my own team. I was really young, only three years older than some of my players. I thought about what the best way would be to handle this situation. I had had several good coaches during my years playing youth sports whose style I could have copied, but I wanted to be a coach like Mr. Mr. John John. It wouldn’t be easy. I have a feistier personality. Sometimes, for sure, I got off track. But whenever I did so, I knew I needed to refocus on Mr. John’s example. I managed an all-star team when I was 19. We lost our first game, moving us to the loser’s bracket of the double-elimination tournament. We won our next two games. But in game 4, against one of the top teams, we ran out of pitching and fell behind by 15 runs early. The mercy rule wasn’t mandatory back then. A manager had the option of surrendering if down by more than 10 runs once the game became official. I turned down the chance to do so when asked by the umpires. Why? Because there was no must-play rule in all stars at that time, and I had a few players who hadn’t gotten off the bench in the four games. We were going to lose — what difference would the final score make? I wanted the parents whose boys made the commitment of coming to practice every day to be able to hear their sons’ names announced when they got an at-bat. I took some heat for it, but I never regretted it. It’s something I believe Mr. John would have done. Mr. John didn’t coach much longer. He suffered a fatal heart attack while coaching just a few years later. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the young men who would never experience having him as their manager. I was fortunate enough to coach another 40 years after that, mostly baseball, softball and soccer. I coached a few championship teams, many mediocre teams and some teams that struggled to get into the win column. But I’ve received countless rewards from the experience, and I hope I’ve been a good influence and made it fun for the children I’ve had the good fortune to coach. That some of the players from those early years still call me “coach” today leads me to believe I’ve at least been somewhat successful. Following the example set by Mr. John gave me an advantage not many coaches receive.

SPECIAL NEEDS GUIDE

SPECIAL NEEDS GUIDE

DOES MY CHILD HAVE A

LEARNING DISABILITY?

If you suspect your child might have a learning disability, here’s how to start planning.

BY JACQUELINE NEBER Jacqueline Neber is a former assistant editor and a graduate of The Writing Seminars at Johns Hopkins University. When she’s not focused on writing special needs and education features, you can find her petting someone else’s dog. A lthough many kids may struggle with schoolwork throughout their academic careers, it’s often hard to know if your child has a learning disability. There is no one behavior or learning difficulty that equals a diagnosis and learning disabilities can affect nonacademic areas of your child’s life, too. So, what happens when you suspect your child might have a disability? Educators and experts have shared their thoughts on how to get your child evaluated for a learning disability and how you can support her academically and in everyday efforts.

SYMPTOMS OF A LEARNING DISABILITY

A learning disability can present in many different ways, says Colin Montgomery, a family educator at INCLUDEnyc and a former special education teacher. A learning disability is simply a disorder in one or more of the processes kids use in understanding and using language, and can express itself in reading, writing, or math, according to the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. It can also be nonverbal or look like an attention issue because your child has an auditory processing difficulty.

The many issues that might arise because of a learning disability make it difficult to figure out if your child has one. After all, it’s common for kids have trouble with certain units in science class or resist doing their homework. Sometimes, you need to puzzle it out to see if a learning disability is to blame.

“Inside the classroom you can see kids struggling. Then you can see them come home and be unhappy to do their homework,” says Cassie Reilly, a high school transition coordinator. “Homework gives parents a chance to see if kids are able to apply the skills they’re learning at school, at home independently. And if they’re not able to, that’s a sign to reach

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out to the teacher.”

Another sign of a learning disability, Reilly says, can be that your child is trying so hard to get something right but is making no progress. When you hear “needs to be working more toward potential” or “not trying hard enough” from your child’s teacher, that’s a warning.

“Unlike children with intellectual disabilities, kids with learning disabilities often have average or above-average IQs that their grades don’t reflect. When your child’s intellectual abilities do not match up with his ability to do schoolwork, that’s a red flag,” says Erica Maltz, founder and CEO of a tutoring service in Westchester as well as a former educator. Poor executive functioning can also come into play with learning disabilities.

“If you hear from a teacher that your child is disorganized, disengaged, not completing assignments…it might be a sign of learning troubles,” Maltz says.

COULD IT BE SOMETHING OTHER THAN A LEARNING DISABILITY?

“With some students, you might think it’s a learning disability, but they could be moving from another school or district in New York, or another state, and they just didn’t have good instruction [before],” Montgomery says. “[Learning issues] might be a function of being a multilingual learner, or the student wasn’t given appropriate instruction in the past.”

Transitioning between grades can pose challenges for some students, Reilly says, and sometimes anxiety is just anxiety. Parents and educators need to consider the big picture of the child and evaluate her educational strengths and weaknesses against each other.

Learning disabilities can be attributed to inner ear and cerebellum problems as well—issues that can be fixed with medication. If your child is finding learning difficult but also has memory and speech problems, uncoordinated balance, poor concentration, high activity levels and impulsivity, and was late to walk and talk, he might have an inner ear issue.

ASKING FOR AN INDIVIDUALIZED EDUCATION PROGRAM EVALUATION

The biggest factor in a successful evaluation and Individualized Education Program formation is communication. “Two things parents should think about: advocacy and trust,” Maltz says. “An IEP is the most beneficial way for students to get the services they need in order to learn successfully in the classroom. And parents need to be involved in every part of the process.”

When going through an evaluation, ask questions. Know who is conducting different parts of the evaluation and where it will take place—some kids will benefit from seeing the testing room before the evaluation. And always make sure your child has gotten a good night’s sleep and had a healthy breakfast before testing, Maltz says.

Throughout your child’s evaluation and beyond, especially if she is classified, remain her supporter and cheerleader, Maltz says. Encourage him to take an active role in understanding his learning disability and advocating for himself. Many students have recently started attending their IEP and CSE meetings. If your child understands his IEP, he can notice when standards are not being met in the classroom.

“It’s important to remember, also, that it is not [you] and your child against ‘the system,’” Maltz continues. “Everyone … does want what’s best for your child so [she] will become an independent learner in the future. And when you go in prepared, it’s a different ballgame.”

MAXIMIZING YOUR CHILD’S INDIVIDUALIZED EDUCATION PROGRAM

Your child’s IEP should be responsive and supportive, says Montgomery. The program usually includes two sections: The Present Levels of Performance discusses your child’s current academic standing, strengths and areas that need work, and social and physical development. The Measurable Annual Goals section outlines the skills your child needs to build upon to reach his goals. The IEP should also note the following: • The area(s) the student is struggling and the goal(s) or intervention to help her progress in that area • The family should have a clear understanding of how they can reinforce support at home. • For learning disabilities, teachers should break down instructions into clear steps, organizational tools, and checklists; prioritize foundational skills that students are lagging in [like phonics in reading] while also providing support in grade level standards. • Organizational tools, like graphic calculators and checklists, that can help students access the grade level curriculum • For writing, teachers should use modeled examples and tools that help with each step of the writing process. • Executive functioning skills (and which tools can help) should be mentioned if they are an issue for your child.

“Remember that your goal is to give your child the skills for everyday life, not just get her to grade level,” says Reilly. “It’s about understanding what she can do and helping her reach her potential.”

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Rainbow’s Reach Integration Socialization Program

Open Enrollment for 2020-2021 School Year for Remote Learning Programs, Child Care Programs and Enrichment Classes. Monday-Friday from 8:00am-6pm and Saturday mornings for Enrichment. Clean State of the Art Sensory Gym, Spacious Classrooms, loving, caring, qualified cpr certified staff. All COVID safety protocols in place. Our promise is that every child will be given the opportunity to excel and be part of our family regardless of the previous educational and social experiences. We strive to achieve lifelong goals with personal pursuits to follow.

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Eden II Programs

The mission of Eden II Programs is to support people with autism throughout their lives to achieve their full potential through service, science, and passion. Programs and services include: Preschool, school, SEIT, SETSS, adult services, residential services, community habilitation, respite, afterschool recreation, consultation support, and various other supports and programs for children and adults with autism spectrum disorders. EDEN II PROGRAMS Agency Headquarters | 15 Beach Street • 10304 facebook.com/eden2programs twitter.com/Eden_Two instagram.com/eden2programs/ youtube.com/user/EDEN2Programs

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SPECIAL NEEDS GUIDE

Children With Special Needs: MYTHS AND REALITIES

BY BEHLOR SANTI Behlor Santi is a freelance writer currently living in Bronx, New York. She’s published articles in Minority Nurse Magazine, Women’s eNews, and The Writer, among others.

Bloomingdale resident Cinzia Leon tears up when she talks about the Jewish Community Center’s First Foot Forward program in Staten Island. Her seven year old son, who has autism, attends one of the JCC schools for children with special needs.

“Finding out your child has a disability is heartbreaking,” she confesses. “You have to put aside your emotions and be a strong mom. I work with a great team of people at the JCC.”

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, about one in six American children have a developmental disability. Children with special needs have an array of ailments, ranging from attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, to autism spectrum disorders, and other developmental delays. The researchers at the CDC say that older parents, a rise in premature births, and the use of fertility treatments could be contributing factors to this high number.

Even with the rising number of children with special needs nationwide, many people believe myths surrounding this population. Some are relatively innocuous. Others are malicious and hurtful.

Jennifer Ruoff, LMSW, MS Ed, is a special education advocate in Irvington, New York. For almost 25 years she has served children and adolescents with special needs and their families. She believes the media message urging “tolerance” is part of the problem.

“Our goal should not be tolerance,” Ruoff says. “Why should we want people to just ‘tolerate’ one another? Our goal should be acceptance!”

What are some myths that stop children with special needs from feeling accepted?

MYTH 1: CHILDREN (AND ADULTS) WITH SPECIAL NEEDS ARE ALWAYS “HAPPY AND CUTE.”

This myth especially applies to children with Down syndrome and other forms of mental illness. Don’t let the cherubic faces of many children with special needs fool you -- these children have their temper tantrums, conflicts with siblings and teenage rebellion.

Janet Riley is executive director of North East Westchester Special Recreation in Hawthorne, New York. North East provides therapeutic recreational services for children and adults with developmental disabilities. They have seen their share of children and adults who don’t fit the “happy and cute” box.

“People think that everyone with Down syndrome is always upbeat and having a great day,” says Riley. “A person may be 35, 40 years old, and somebody chats about how cute they are.” Calling adult people with special needs “cute” may seem innocent enough, but it can actually be offensive.

MYTH 2: CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS SHOULDN’T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS

Another myth is the idea that children with special needs can behave any way they want because their disabilities stop them from knowing right from wrong. This idea relieves children of their responsibility to be moral; and in extreme cases, children with special needs may become anti-social as a result.

“Some people try to be overnice,” Riley says. “Some people overcompensate. They see a child with special needs and let him or her go ahead in line.” While they’re merely being polite, Riley says her goal is to teach the children and adults with special needs to be fair and considerate of other people.

MYTH 3: CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS CAN’T CONTROL THEIR IMPULSES

Riley cited the importance of field trips. While they are fun trips, they help students learn manners -- and dispels prejudice among the general population.

It’s not just ordinary people who discriminate against people with physical and developmental disabilities. According to a 2002 study from the University of Minnesota, medical students from the United States and Canada held negative attitudes towards the disabled -- with a higher percent among male medical students. Children and adults with special needs fight against prejudice from strangers, family members, and healthcare providers. The findings appeared in Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation.

MYTH 4: CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS CAN’T LEARN, WORK, AND CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY

Jayne Smith, MS, is the chief program director for Early Childhood & Disability Services at the Staten Island JCC. Smith believes in teaching special needs children self-sufficiency from an early age.

“We believe in teaching children to their level, being patient with them,” she says. “We want to teach the language and model the behavior that helps them develop independence.”

Like all mothers, Cinzia Leon wants her son to be a happy and successful adult. She’s grateful for the assistance she has received from the Staten Island JCC.

SPECIAL NEEDS GUIDE

Her words to fellow parents of special needs children?

“Never give up!”

When you see a child with autism, ADHD, or any other disability, how do you react?

In a society that puts undue emphasis on good looks, physical fitness, and wealth, accepting imperfection -- even among children -- is difficult. Some people use “special” to mask a deviation from the norm. Parents of children with special needs, on the other hand, push a radical notion. The disability doesn’t make them. They live their lives and thrive, despite it.

Want to know how to relate, and not “tolerate,” children and teens with special needs? Here are some tips from Ruoff: • Be patient. You might need to repeat yourself. It might take time to process information or questions, so you might need to allow extra time to receive a response. • Children need to know they should ask an adult to help facilitate positive interactions if they are having difficulty. An adult can model language that will help the child participate in a group, when the he or she is at a loss for the right words. • Children and teens with special needs have interests and talents just like everyone else. Engage them in conversation to discover what they like. Just treat them like you would anyone else!

PRESCHOOL

JCC FIRST FOOT FORWARD

The JCC of Staten Island offers First Foot Forward as part of our continuum of services for people with disabilities. First Foot Forward is a special education preschool program which provides services for children with speech/language, motor, and cognitive delays.

Jayne Smith, Chief Program Director 718.475.5265 • jsmith@sijcc.com 1466 Manor Road • 1297 Arthur Kill Road 2221 Richmond Avenue

SERVICES

INCLUDEnyc

Do you have questions about special education programs and services? Call INCLUDEnyc’s Help Line for info on remote learning, IEP meetings, OPWDD supports, parent rights, and more! www.includenyc.org

212.677.4660 | info@includenyc.org 116 East 16th St, NY, NY 10003 English: includenyc.org • Spanish: incluyenyc.org facebook.com/includenyc instagram.com/includenyc

SERVICES

A VERY SPECIAL PLACE, INC. (AVSP)

A Very Special Place, Inc. provides a comprehensive network of programs and services, including fiscal intermediary services for Self-Direction for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and their families.

49 Cedar Grove Avenue • 10306 info@avspny.org • avspny.org facebook.com/AVSPSI instagram.com/averyspecialplace

SERVICES

CLAIRE GUTTSMAN, MA CCC-SLP

Speech and language pathologist with over 40 years of experience. Services on an individual and/or group basis for all ages. Also providing accent reduction and public speaking programs on an individual basis. Approved by the NYC DOE for CPSE & RSA cases. Fees reviewed on an individual basis. Remote therapy provided.

Claire Guttsman, MA CCC-SLP

1076 Forest Avenue • SI, NY 10310 718.447.5501

Person Centered Care Services

PCCS is a nonprofit organization creating social change within communities by supporting people with intellectual and developmental disabilities on their search for identity and acceptance. Join PCCS as we have our Back to School Virtual Info Sessions on November 10 and 17 at 1PM-3PM and 6PM-8PM. Each session will explain the programs available to your loved ones including Community Habilitation, Respite, Employment Supports, Residential Supports, Independent Living Supports, and Self- Directed Supports. To register, contact Lucia Rossi (LRossi@pccsny.org) or visit our website’s training page at www.pccsny.org.

150 Granite Avenue • Staten Island, NY 10303 718.370.1088 • info@pccsny.org facebook.com/pccsny • instagram.com/pccsny

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