Spring Issue of Faith Filled Family

Fai†h

Family Spring 2013

Everything Under the Sun With Plumb

Handling Teenage Explosions!

First Aid Kit for Bullies You are in Your Parent's Army Now!

____________________________________ EDITORIAL PUBLISHER Michelle Danko I mcdanko@faithfilledfamily.com PUBLISHER PRO TEM Jill King I jillking@faithfilledfamily.com EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Helen Murray I hmurray@faithfilledfamily.com ADVERTISING SALES Holly Tripp I Holly@faithfilledfamily.com Mary Knuckles I mknuckles@faithfilledfamily.com Michelle Danko I mcdanko@faithfilledfamily.com COPYWRITER Elisa Cibrario IMAGES: COVER PHOTO privilege2010@photos.com PHOTOGRAPHERS @Photos.com : Comstock, Mikael Damkier, Jason Stitt, Andrey Popov, George Doyle, Jose Elias, Comstock , Brandon Alms, James Pyle, and Jupiterimages. AIMSTOCK, Pauline Breijer, paul hill and Sergiy Bykhunenko PUBLISHED BY: Faith Filled Communication Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada SUBSCRIPTIONS AND FEEDBACK: For subscriptions or feedback, please visit our website at : www.faithfilledfamily.comI info@faithfilledfamily.com Š Calameo 2013 All material is strictly copyright and all rights reserved.

Reproduction whole or in part without the written permission of Faith Filled Communication is expressly forbidden.

CHILDREN

Trouble of 48 The Molestation

Molestation affects many children and often goes undetected. What do you do when your child confides in you?

How do you handle it?

RELATIONSHIPS

8 29

52

PARENTING

The Importance of Obedience Why obeying your parents is important.

Are 12 You Parent’s

First Aid Kit for Bullies What do you do when your child is bullied at school? What does your child go through, and how can you deal with the constant assault of bullying.

20 Handling Teenage

Talk to Me! Discussion on teen substance abuse.

in Your Army

Now! How to effectively discipline your teen.

Explosions What do you do when your teen rebels?

How do you handle their anger- the godly way.

Your 57 Helping Child Deal with Divorce.

How to effectively handle communicating to your child after divorce.

Reality of Cyber 54 The Bullying The effects of bullying online

Contents REVIEWS

Structure 19 The of the Cross

Poem

God, 72 Please Hear Me Now!

Story by Don Ford

Review 79 Book Laughter is Sacred SpaceThe Not-So-Typical Journey of a Mennonite Actor

NEWS

Give Fifty One 34 How one business

chooses to combat homelessness.

Old Debate: 37 Age Creation or Evolution

Part two of a two part interview.

75 Christian Camp and

Conference Association

Interview with Gregg Hunter CEO/President of Christian Camp and Conference Association.

INTERVIEWS

17

Persecuted

Interview with Producer Andy Salmen on his newest movie

with 23 Interview Roma Downey

Discussion of her career and her latest accomplishments

42 Katelyn McCarter:

Behind the Music

Katelyn McCarter has been gathering quite a bit of attention on the music scene.

Discover the person behind the music.

62 Everything Under the Sun with Plumb

Discover who Plumb is and what motivates her behind the scenes

Journey 67 The Ted Swartz

of

Welcome!

Publisher’s Letter

This issue centers around “trouble at home” and topics range from obedience, to dealing with children on drugs.

Raising up the next generation to follow Christ is very important, and yet challenging in today’s society. What society often deems as acceptable is indeed an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. Standing up for one’s self in also more challenging today than in previous generations.

Living in a world where you are being bombarded by unhealthy and ungodly media images constantly, and messages that are contrary to biblical belief become stumbing blocks for most teens. The temptation to gain the souls of our youth is probably at an all time high, which is why we need to guard and guide our children so closely.

We need to take back our families, and our children now more than ever! Otherwise we face the risk of loosing another generation to a feel good, acceptance of everything society.

Let’s make the decision to take back what is Gods!

Blessings, Michelle Danko Publisher Faith Filled Family Magazine

T

he concept of obeying one’s parents is a challenging topic on both sides of the coin.

Children are at a stage where they want what they want, when they want it and must learn selfcontrol. Teens are at an age where they yearn for independence, and feel that their parent’s advice is antiquated. They feel that their parents are out of touch with what is going on in their world and can’t relate when in fact some issues are timeless.

Parents, on the other hand, are frustrated because they want to help and be heard. They have “been there, done that” and don’t want to see their children go through the same thing that they did. However, despite their best efforts, children don’t always obey, and often the kids discover that their parents knew what they were talking about after all. So how do we solve this conundrum?

Why does the Bible command us to listen to our parents, and why is it so important?

The Bible says two things: “Train up a child in the ways in which he should go and he will never depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) “Children, obey your parents in the Lord [as His representatives], for this is just and right. Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother—this is the first commandment with a promise. That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3) God is very specific about obeying your parents, but why is this so to Him? Why does He command

children to do this with a promise? What can children benefit from obedience?

Teens prefer to discuss situations with their peers over confide in their parents. This, in part, may be due to the fact that they fear punishment, or not being allowed to do something that they want to do. Most often they feel that their parents can’t relate, and that they don’t know what it is like to be a teenager.

Obedience to one’s parents is indeed important.

They have lived longer than you have, and have more knowledge whether they have personally experienced the situation, or were a spectator. They know right from wrong, and what consequences come with bad decisions. Their goal is to help you avoid the hurt that comes with making bad choices. With experience comes wisdom, which is often what your peer’s lack.

Your friends can sympathize with what you are going through, but they often lack the wisdom and knowledge as to how to best handle a situation to avoid negative consequences. Often, as an adult, it is through experience and reflection that we gain understanding. From this understanding comes wisdom to know how to handle various situations.

It is that same wisdom that will either get you through a situation, or help you to avoid it.

God placed parents in your life to guide you and to impart wisdom. It isn’t so that your parents can control you, or so that you can’t have any fun.

Sometimes it’s that same sense of “having fun” that can end up getting you into trouble because you aren’t aware that for every decision that you make, there are consequences: both good and bad. For example, you are a sophomore girl, and the most popular boy asked you-the most popular

senior boy. Attending would gain you instant popularity, and maybe that hottie will ask you out. On the surface, it appears as if there is no risk. You can handle yourself- you are almost an adult. However, if going were fine, you wouldn’t have a problem asking your parents.

Why don’t teens ask their parents? It is because they

with a lack of experience makes an easy target. Popularity can be leveraged so that the girl complies, or the ever popular phrase, “but everyone else is doing it” and mocking someone because they are young.

Sometimes even though a girl says no the boys thinks that she is being a tease and forces her to have sex anyway. Often there

are you, and how strong can you be?

Teens are too often irked when what their parents said proves to be right, and that they should have listened. Who knew? If they would have only obeyed, they could have avoided the pain associated with making a bad choice. Often teens wish that they could have just gone back in time

feel that they can handle the problem, but lack the experience to get out of a situation when it arises. Peer pressure is an awesome force especially when you are trying to get someone of the opposite sex to notice you.

Parents know that the person is too old for you, and it is a concern. It is not because they don’t want you to be popular and have fun, but because they want to protect you.

Protect you from what? Protect you from the inevitable. A senior is often interested in one thing, and that is experimenting in sex. A much younger female

are no parents around at these parties, so where can a teen run when there is a problem.

Pregnancy can often result as a result of making a bad decision at a party and being caught up in a moment.

Maybe you can handle yourself.

However are you prepared to be bombarded by requests to drink or experiment with drugs just to fit in? Are you prepared to be made fun of when you say no?

Are you prepared to be talked about just for standing up for your convictions?

Too often teens comply out of fear of being socially ostracized. How strong

and made things different…but of course, you can’t, and are forced to deal with the consequences.

Many teens have been forced to grow up too fast because of a lack of judgment at a moment in time.

As a teen, what road will you follow? Who will you listen to for advice? Your friends who often lead by emotion and not by experience, or to your parents who aren’t emotionally involved and can see the consequences?

Why wouldn’t you listen to those that can save you from harm even though it may mean that you might not always make the popular choice. What you don’t

know is that often the best decisions aren’t always the easiest. If they were, none of us would ever make any mistakes. Life would be easy.

The most important part of this scripture is that “all will be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.” Why is that? You will live well if you obey because God has given you parents to watch over you to ensure that the decisions you make are godly ones. Listening to your parents will help you to function in society because many house rules mimic what is expected of you out in the real world. It prepares you for it.

Listening to your parents helps you to make wise decisions and to avoid pitfalls in life. Someone who may seem like they are a good friend to you at first may turn out to be your greatest enemy.

Parents with their experience can often detect this because they are better able to read people.

You will live long because God honors obedience.

If you are obedient to your parents, you will be obedient to Him. The only case where it is acceptable to not listen to your parents is when they ask you to do something that is unlawful, or goes against the Bible. In either case you should respect that they are your parents, and this is not cause to be confrontational, but rather to approach the situation in love. You will live long if you obey because you will avoid common pitfalls in life, and lead a better life than the previous generation.

What could be better than that?

Parents, however, should also be warned.

Scripture has instructions for them too.

like who your children are dating, it may be a time for reflection.

Scripture also warns us to not be too harsh with our children and mentions the consequences.

Verbal abuse is very harmful to children in so many ways. These children often do not know the love of Christ because they have never experienced it. They have difficulty in believing that God loves them unconditionally, and can’t relate to God’s love because their own earthly father was so hard.

We are to treat our children with love and respect.

They may be young, but if we don’t respect them, then how can we expect that they will respect us?

Isn’t respect mutual?

Love also comes not from always being agreeable, but to addressing issues in a tactful, sensitive manner. It is not yelling at your children just to get your point across, but by explaining why certain rules are being made, that there are consequences that they may not see, and that you are genuinely concerned for their welfare. It is being tactful as opposed to being confrontational.

If the goal is to be understood and listened to, then love must be involved.

For the most part, Jesus spoke in love to people who had sinned, and warned them to sin no more.

He didn’t yell at them, or get confrontational no matter what the sin. He did get angry at those who were selling at the temple because what they did was an abomination to the Lord. It was a righteous anger at the sin being committed, and it was being committed against God. Children, if you desire to have a long life and to “Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and make good decisions for yourself, listen to your sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or parent’s wisdom. They do know what they are bitter or resentful toward them. Children, obey talking about. What they advise may not be easy, your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to but it can save you from a lot of trouble. Plus you the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret know that they are usually right anyway.

Parents, guide your children to make godly your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen choices. Do not be harsh, condemn them, or and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do speak with contempt as it will damage them beyond what you could fathom. God has instructed you not break their spirit.]” (Colossians 3:19-21) to raise your children up to know Him, and to Why did I include “love your wives”? Because follow His ways. His ways are ways of love, not loving your spouse is the best example to set for exasperation. Always remember that children are your children. It creates security. It also teaches a gift from God, and therefore a blessing. If you them about the type of person they should marry, raise them according to God’s instructions, pray and in turn, how they should be treated by the over them, and always follow the prompting of the opposite sex. The type of relationship you have Holy Spirit, you will never fail.

The biggest question is: Who are you going to with your spouse will dictate the type of people your children will gravitate towards. If you don’t listen to?

You Are in Your Parent’s Army Now!

By Helen Murray

T

the (ridiculously ignorant) bossman. rain up a child in the way he should go, and So the suggestion is that you treat the home when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs as a boot camp for life, sensitively setting goals and targets for everybody according to their age, 22:6 This is a promise attached to a command. talents and passions, and EXPECT RESULTS! Sometimes we wonder how this works. The issue, Results can then be rewarded, but remember that in boot-camp there is respect for the seargeant etc for us, is TRAINING, so let’s look at that.

If you have responsibility for a department in the and don’t be afraid to demand that respect – for firm you work for, including the training of staff the position if not for the person (of mother, father to complete their work to the betterment of the etc).

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE your child’s capacity company, how do you go about it?

Firstly you set out objectives – what you want to to achieve his right goals. Soon he’ll be setting them himself, and that’s the whole aim. When s/he see happening on a day to day basis.

Secondly you ask yourself “How do we meet these can set his own goals and achieve them he is on the path to success in his life. He does this best as objectives?”

The answer to that question brings about the kind he sees goal setting happening in the family and is enabled and supported to do this for himself. of training programs the company will endorse.

These training programs will be rigorous. There Leave Dr Spock’s pandering to the child back in will not be questions of the nature of “I prefer not the 1970s where it belongs and know exactly what to do that but I’ll go about it this way”. Why bother standards are required of him in your family. The to have a training program if this is the result. The trained horse is highly desirable and worth a lot employee will accomplish the required training or of money. The trained and well-behaved child is acceptable in many homes and places, and find himself another job.

What if the employee declares “Yep. I’ll do it later.” therefore has more opportunities before him. An untrained horse will end up in the knacker’s yard.

Not acceptable.

Or he might say “In that other company down the The untrained child will end up depending on drugs road they do such and such. I think that’s better.” and lesser pleasures to replace the love, time and attention that should have taught him the ropes.

OK. You go down there and get a job with them!

“Too early in the morning for me. I don’t function The child’s sense of identity comes from his early training and family responses. It is so important. until 10 o’clock” “Well, don’t bother coming in at all then. We’ll all To build this sense of identity we must pass on family values (so the child doesn’t have to be on the way by the time you get here.” re-invent the wheel) and family history, so he has “It would be simpler if we did this…….”

“Maybe, but we wouldn’t get the same results. a sense of where he comes from and what kind of When you run the company you can dictate the achievements are behind him.

The child should be effective in the home with terms.” responsibilities he carries out for the benefit of “I want some …………………………………”

“I beg your pardon. This is work time, and I’m your everyone.

The child should be effective to his best possible boss, not your slave!”

All these cop-outs seem ridiculous in a work standards at school – with a little help from Mum situation, yet at home they get away with these and Dad, especially in the encouragement to read, because he can educate himself to anything if he things all the time. NO. NO. NO. Home is a training ground for life, and should be becomes a reader. a place of discipline, respect, thoughtfulness and The child should be effective socially – knowing work contribution. It’s not the place to be waited how to share and care for other children, to use on, pandered to, and apologised for. It’s a place his strength to protect and encourage the weaker where you practice the skills needed for effective child. living. If you achieve a skill there can be a reward, The child should be effective spiritually – having but no rewards without achievements. It’s a place his own deep relationship with the Lord of all where children try out their abilities and develop creation, prayer times, bible study times etc. them under coaching, not a place to pretend to be The child should be able to self-discipline for his

own purposes, set his own goals in all areas, and celebrate his achievements with his congratulating family. Towards this end he needs to be resourceful, entrepreneurial, and active.

The child needs intimacy – a mentor – someone to whom he can go with his deepest worries and know that he’ll get wisdom, time, patience, love, and challenge. It’s all part of the truth that will set him free.

His parents are responsible for planning and developing a family lifestyle that will enable him to achieve all this in a warm, attentive, challenging environment.

Do not underestimate – or overestimate – the potential of the child, but encourage and strengthen him. If some withdrawal of privilege is required to make a point then so be it. Remember, this is bootcamp, where privilege is earned, not assumed.

As the Amish do, when the child is eighteen he is considered adult and boot-camp is over. He goes out to find his own way in the world, but when he comes home it is with RESPECT to those who spent the first eighteen years training him. This can be achieved even though the child remains with the family. In the old days, when a child turned 21 he was given the keys to the family home literally, and no further questions were asked about his comings and goings after hours.

This was a specific, tangible change in parental behaviour and can be applied now at age eighteen, releasing the child to become an adult and to be treated as such. He will, of course, retain some responsibilities if he remains in the house.

If parents are secure about what is expected at different ages, the young person will be secure too. It’s largely a question of security when it comes to taking one’s place in the world and establishing one’s identity. There is a balance between expectation and kindness – they should be co-operative, not competitive.

I’ve heard young men say things like “I’m glad my parents taught me table manners, because now I can be confident in any situation.”

The cultures that teach a rigorous work ethic give a great foundation for achievement to their children.

Laisse-faire has no value as a preparation for anything. It’s a negative – ‘can’t-be-bothered’ attitude with demonstrably damaging outcome. It probably causes as much rebellion or depression as does domination.

Fathers, your role is incredibly important in the training of your children. Firstly make them honour their mother, both by example and by teaching it.

If mother says it, they do it – and don’t come to you for a different answer. Show the children what their mother does for them, and demand their respect and helpfulness for her.

Mothers, honour the children’s father in a thousand ways. If he says something, that’s it. Some things are open for discussion, and some things are not.

Point out to the children the ways in which their father provides for them daily, and teach them, both by example and by instruction, to be grateful for this. Gratitude is one of the greatest and most eye-opening lessons a child can learn – and he learns it best at home.

Above all, remember that the children are with you for about twenty years. Then they are off into their own worlds and you are left with each other for another thirty plus years. Yours is the most important relationship - that of husband and wife – even more than parent and child. Why? Because that is what the child observes intensely and absorbs by osmosis, for twenty years, and will perpetuate when finally s/he leaves you on your own. The patterns you set are THE TEMPLATE for

…………………………………”

“I beg your pardon. This is work time, and I’m your boss, not your slave!”

All these cop-outs seem ridiculous in a work situation, yet at home they get away with these things all the time. NO. NO. NO. Home is a training ground for life, and should be a place of discipline, respect, thoughtfulness and work contribution. It’s not the place to be waited on, pandered to, and apologised for. It’s a place where you practice the skills needed for effective living. If you achieve a skill there can be a reward, but no rewards without achievements. It’s a place where children try out their abilities and develop them under coaching, not a place to pretend to be the (ridiculously ignorant) bossman.

So the suggestion is that you treat the home as a boot camp for life, sensitively setting goals and targets for everybody according to their age, talents and passions, and EXPECT RESULTS! Results can then be rewarded, but remember that in boot-camp there is respect for the seargeant etc and don’t be afraid to demand that respect – for the position if not for the person (of mother, father etc).

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE your child’s capacity to achieve his right goals. Soon he’ll be setting them himself, and that’s the whole aim. When s/he can set his own goals and achieve them he is on the path to success in his life. He does this best as he sees goal setting happening in the family and is enabled and supported to do this for himself.

Leave Dr Spock’s pandering to the child back in the 1970s where it belongs and know exactly what standards are required of him in your family. The trained horse is highly desirable and worth a lot of money. The trained and well-behaved child is acceptable in many homes and places, and therefore has more opportunities before him. An untrained horse will end up in the knacker’s yard.

The untrained child will end up depending on drugs and lesser pleasures to replace the love, time and attention that should have taught him the ropes.

The child’s sense of identity comes from his early training and family responses. It is so important.

To build this sense of identity we must pass on family values (so the child doesn’t have to re-invent the wheel) and family history, so he has a sense of where he comes from and what kind of achievements are behind him.

The child should be effective in the home with

responsibilities he carries out for the benefit of everyone.

The child should be effective to his best possible standards at school – with a little help from Mum and Dad, especially in the encouragement to read, because he can educate himself to anything if he becomes a reader.

The child should be effective socially – knowing how to share and care for other children, to use his strength to protect and encourage the weaker child.

The child should be effective spiritually – having his own deep relationship with the Lord of all creation, prayer times, bible study times etc.

The child should be able to self-discipline for his own purposes, set his own goals in all areas, and celebrate his achievements with his congratulating family. Towards this end he needs to be resourceful, entrepreneurial, and active.

The child needs intimacy – a mentor – someone to whom he can go with his deepest worries and know that he’ll get wisdom, time, patience, love, and challenge. It’s all part of the truth that will set him free.

His parents are responsible for planning and developing a family lifestyle that will enable him to achieve all this in a warm, attentive, challenging environment.

Do not underestimate – or overestimate – the potential of the child, but encourage and strengthen him. If some withdrawal of privilege is required to make a point then so be it. Remember, this is bootcamp, where privilege is earned, not assumed.

As the Amish do, when the child is eighteen he is considered adult and boot-camp is over. He goes out to find his own way in the world, but when he comes home it is with RESPECT to those who spent the first eighteen years training him. This can be achieved even though the child remains with the family. In the old days, when a child turned 21 he was given the keys to the family home literally, and no further questions were asked about his comings and goings after hours.

This was a specific, tangible change in parental behaviour and can be applied now at age eighteen, releasing the child to become an adult and to be treated as such. He will, of course, retain some responsibilities if he remains in the house.

If parents are secure about what is expected at different ages, the young person will be secure too. It’s largely a question of security when it

comes to taking one’s place in the world and establishing one’s identity. There is a balance between expectation and kindness – they should be co-operative, not competitive.

I’ve heard young men say things like “I’m glad my parents taught me table manners, because now I can be confident in any situation.”

The cultures that teach a rigorous work ethic give a great foundation for achievement to their children.

Laisse-faire has no value as a preparation for anything. It’s a negative – ‘can’t-be-bothered’ attitude with demonstrably damaging outcome. It probably causes as much rebellion or depression as does domination.

Fathers, your role is incredibly important in the training of your children. Firstly make them honour their mother, both by example and by teaching it.

If mother says it, they do it – and don’t come to you for a different answer. Show the children what their mother does for them, and demand their respect

and helpfulness for her.

Mothers, honour the children’s father in a thousand ways. If he says something, that’s it. Some things are open for discussion, and some things are not.

Point out to the children the ways in which their father provides for them daily, and teach them, both by example and by instruction, to be grateful for this. Gratitude is one of the greatest and most eye-opening lessons a child can learn – and he learns it best at home.

Above all, remember that the children are with you for about twenty years. Then they are off into their own worlds and you are left with each other for another thirty plus years. Yours is the most important relationship - that of husband and wife – even more than parent and child. Why? Because that is what the child observes intensely and absorbs by osmosis, for twenty years, and will perpetuate when finally s/he leaves you on your own. The patterns you set are THE TEMPLATE



Movie Interview with Producer Andy Salmen

By Tabitha Venasse

During the fall, Faith Filled Family had the opportunity to chat with Andy Salmen, one of the producers on an upcoming Christian film called Persecuted. The movie, which stars former Hercules: The Legendary Journey lead Kevin Sorbo, addresses some of the forms of persecution Christians are starting to face in North America. Unlike many Christian films, this movie aims to show the darker side of things, removing the typical fluffy feel of religious films past. It’s raw, it’s real, and it cuts through the wistful with a sharp dose of reality.

Faith Filled Family: What is Persecuted about?

Andy Salmen: It’s a thriller really. We’ve kind of turned it a bit like Fugitive and the Book of Eli. It’s really a fast-paced action-thriller at its heart. It’s faith-based, but it’s not an in-yourface, being preached at for 90 minutes film. It’s a story about an evangelical, Billy Graham type, who is framed for something he did not do by the Senate Majority Leader of the US Senate. The reason for the blackmail is to really get him to back this bill, which is a religious reform, kind of the old adage of ‘One World, One Nation’ instead of just the US and all of our religious beliefs and religious freedoms. So at it’s heart it’s an action thriller that is based in the freedom of religion and expression.

Faith Filled Family: Is there a specific purpose or message that you are intending to get across with Persecuted?

Andy Salmen: The underlying message is the encroachment and the increasing encroachment of the government and draconian ways of overreaching into the individual lives of you and me —all of us— and in our religious lives. A lot of people are turning a blind eye to it. When we called the film Persecuted, a lot of people immediately started thinking that this was the story of political dissident in China. Well it’s not, because persecution in America, or Northern America is quite different. It really is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s political incorrectness.

Or, having to talk politically correct, not being allowed to voice your opinion – really, you’ve seen such a charge of freedom from religion rather than freedom of religion. That’s really a driving force. At the heart, it’s an over-reaching government into the heart of our individual lives and our ability to maintain our freedom of religion.

Faith Filled Family: As far as the actors that are involved, they’re all fairly big-named actors. Did they have an opinion either way about this being a religious statement movie?

Andy Salmen: Well, Kevin Sorbo plays our headliner, the hero. John Luther is the character’s name.

He has been in the faith-film industry as well in the mainstream. What he and so many people who came on board for this project say is that they see it, yes as a faith based film, but truly a crossover film that’s more mainstream. It doesn’t beat the message over you, you’re not being preached at – it’s not a ‘bible-thumping’ film, if you will. There is certainly scripture within the dialogue and definite religious undertones, but it really is an entertaining piece that has a message. That message has been interwoven into the storyline rather than other films where it really does sound preachy. And I’m not saying anything bad about those other films, that’s just not the style we wanted.

As far as Kevin and everyone else, they really, really believe in the message and they believe in the story and the fact that it can be a crossover and not just stuck in a genre that may not cross over to a mainstream audience.

Faith Filled Family: Many of the people involved in producing the film have been involved in darker films like the Godfather. Will this film be pursuing a darker overture rather than taking the more fluffy route of some past Christian films?

Andy Salmen: Yeah, I would say you are correct but it’s not due to their past movies like the Godfather.

It’s not that influence which has made this film a different type of Christian film. It’s not white, billowy clouds. It’s a darker tale. The Director, Daniel wants people to experience the gospel in a different way.

The Bible is not the golden gate everything. Quite frankly, it’s scary as hell if you really read it. In his eyes, this is a cinematic way of telling it how it is and not sugar coating everything, but doing so in an entertaining way. You won’t look at this as a low-budget Indie film with bad acting, bad screen quality and production value; it’s all going to be top-notch.

Faith Filled Family: When is the movie aiming to be released?

Andy Salmen: We’re still looking for our optimized release window. There are many factors that play into that. One is competition and the second is timing.

Faith Filled Family: Is there anything else that you would like the public to know about the movie?

Andy Salmen: The one thing I would say that I didn’t get into is that the other aspect of this is bringing to light an issue that really isn’t talked about. There’s been a lot of studies conducted, and something like eighty-percent of Christians throughout the nation want to hear about persecution that’s going on within America. However, fifty-percent of Americans said they won’t talk about it, what’s going on and how they are being restricted. The government is pushing things and twisting hands, and changing the tax rules for non-profit status. It all comes out in this and it’s really to bring some things to light that are not talked about.

For more information on the movie, you can visit their website at http://solsticefilmfestival.wix.com/ studio-mogul#!__the-persecuted-main-site/story

The Structure of the Cross

By Shannon Kresge

The cross which held our Lord and whose beams supported the blessed arms and feet of our Beloved should always be in the forefront of our mind.

It is only by significant reflection on the torturous death he willingly endured in obedience to God and in tender love of us, that ware are able to properly examine the sufferings in our own lives... which seem but tiny droplets before the great and magnificent downpour of suffering our beloved Savior endured.

Every calamity of my heart, that wrenches about in my chest at each bend of the road on which I travel and the upheaval of my fickle emotions, that, day in and day out cause such stress and anxiety... and even more the pains in my body the everlasting ache in my head and my turning stomach, Oh Lord, are but droplets upon your brow as you took on all of me and my weakness; took on the wrath of all the world, in your one body!

These beams of the cross which are both vertical and horizontal must remind us always of the relationship we have with God and how it must be maintained and then dispensed.

First, the vertical beam.

This beam erects our Lord and lifts him up before our eyes... while it also it points up to Almighty God, This vertical beam is to mirror our prayers and our union with God through which we gain strength to endure the excruciating pains which present themselves to us in our lives.

Second, the horizontal beam, which is supported by the vertical one.

The horizontal beam is to mirror our reaching out to others and to the world around us.

Our love of God comes from above, and moves us from within to reach out to stretch out our arms and reach to those who need us.

It is only with both beams working together, that the love of Christ can be outpoured in our lives like His precious blood was outpoured upon the cross bringing healing, hope and salvation to all the world.

E

Image courtesy of imagery mejestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Raising kids isn’t easy. If anyone knows that, it’s God!“

Handling Teenage Explosions

By Julie Cosgrove

"B

staring straight ahead and not ut, Mooommmm. I don't turn around to give this mom a camaraderie hug. But, of course want to."

I heard the preteen girl whine her that would have embarrassed complaint as she and her mother her. It would have brought descended the escalator behind out what she already knew. me. The background store music Everyone in a ten foot radius meant to ensure pleasurable could hear what should have shopping failed to drown out her been a private conversation.

I don’t know what task the high pitched voice. preteen dreaded so much doing.

“It doesn’t matter. You have to do this, You know that.” Perhaps it was babysitting a An older female voice said in younger sibling, or temporarily giving up her bedroom for a quiet, firm tones.

“And I hate it. I hate you.” visiting great-aunt. Maybe it A momentary pause. entailed shopping for a dress to Then, a deep sigh. “That wear to some occasion which doesn’t change the fact you meant socializing with boring know it is what you have to do.” grown-ups. Big or small, it was The sternness in the mother’s important enough in her mind to voice ineffectively masked her evoke strong emotions and start frustration. Obviously, they’d had the hormonal volcano spewing.

How do you stop up a this conversation before.

“Whatever. I am NOT volcano from erupting? You don’t. If you try, the pressure doing it. You can’t make me.”

A determined stomp will continue to build. When the vibrated through the steel grid explosion occurs, all you can track as it disappeared into the do is try and divert the flow so it floor ahead of us. It’s impact doesn’t burn as much. It seems rippled through my heart. It kids pick the least opportune took everything in me to keep time to explode. When you are together in public places seem

to rank the highest. Or when you are dead tired and on edge anyway. It’s like an alarm goes off in a teen’s head saying, “Hit ‘em with it now.” KA-BOOM! The escalator ran out of steps and my foot thudded against the first floor of the store. As I got off, I turned and gave the mom a sympathetic smile. Her lips curled up at the edges in response, but her eyes were swimming. As mine momentarily locked with hers, the “I understand, I am a Mom, too. You will make it through these years.” thought was telepathically conveyed.

I turned and walked on about my business, trying to find the perfect gift for my grown child’s new apartment that stated I cared but was not interfering in his individuality.

Raising kids into adulthood is perhaps one of the hardest tasks imaginable.

Nothing will lift you out of yourself like the sacrificial, “I am going to love you even if I don’t like your behavior right now” attitude a mother, and hopefully a father,

adopts towards their child. But truth be told, is that not the attitude God calls us all to have towards each other?

If you want a role model for parenting, turn to the ultimate example - Our Father who is in Heaven, and everywhere else for that matter, even in the midst of our explosions of anger, sorrow and frustrations. At times, aren’t we like that preteen girl, stomping our feet and telling God we hate the situation we are in or we don’t want to do something?

Even Christ, as he knelt in the Garden, momentarily asked for the cup to be taken from Him. But He already knew the answer. Like that mother with her preteen in the store, God told Jesus it didn’t change the fact the event must to come to pass. But also like that mother, God didn’t walk away. He stayed and listened as His son sweated blood and tears in prayer, then eventually whispered, “Thy will be done”.

Are you so different from your kids in God’s eyes? Don’t you rebel, want your own way, want it now or want it to be easy? I think we all do. Thanks be to God that He is, as the Psalms tell us, slow to anger, long suffering and loving. He can help us be

that way as well towards our kids, and everyone else we bump into along the way.

Your Heavenly Father won’t give up on me or you as we go through the process of growing in His will. So, don’t give up on your kids, either.

No matter what their age, just like us, they too are learning the fine line between individuality and obedience. They must figure out their way may not be the best after all, that they need advice and guidance. It is a learning curve in the biggest lesson of all - life.

God stays by each of us on the escalator of life, listening to our angst, our fears and our “I don’t want to” moments. Our temporary lack of faith and obedience may hurt Him, but He loves us anyway.

Just like we love our kids, despite the fact that they are not acting or being as we know they should.

Let Him turn to you and give you a hug, just like I wanted to give that mom. Rely on His strength and expertise. He understands. If anyone knows what you are going through in raising a child, it is your Heavenly Father. He is, after all, in the process of raising you.

A Conversation With Roma Downey

By Lois Loba Websiteslightworkersmedia.com - can also be found on Facebook www.facebook.com/Roma.Downey www.littleangels.com - can also be found on Facebook, Amazon.com, and Itunes.com, also available on CD, and DVD’s.

Twitter @RealRomaDowney www.operationsmile.org www.facebook.com/BibleSeries Bio- Born in Ireland, she lost her Mother at age ten and her Father while in her early twenties. Roma attended Brighton College of Art in England with the goal of becoming an Artist and she graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in Art. As Roma’s interest turned towards the Dramatic Arts she attended the Drama Studio London. Roma continued her education and earned a Masters Degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica.

Roma Downey is married to Mr. Mark Burnett; they have three children.

Her acting career has varied from Classical Shakespeare on Stage, Broadway, and Television roles including the starring role of Jackie Onassis in the Emmy nominated Miniseries, “A Woman Named Jackie”; and, of course, the kind hearted angel in “Touched By An Angel”.

Roma won the TV Guide award for favorite actress for her work on TBAA and earned two Emmy nominations for best actress as was well as Golden globe nominations.

Roma produced an Album titled “The Healing Angel” in 1999 with RCA. Roma’s first Children’s book is

titled “Love Is A Family” and was published in 2001.

Her latest book is “A Story of God and All of Us: A Novel based on the Epic TV Miniseries ‘The Bible’,” a companion book to the epic “The Bible”, the mini-series. This book is also available in a Young Readers Edition.

Awards include: 1998 Golden Globe: Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama - Nominee 1999 Golden Globe: Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama - Nominee 1997 Emmy: Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series - Nominee 1998 Emmy: Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series – Nominee Faith Filled Family: I would like to start with the T.V. program, “Touched By An Angel.” The episode titled, “The Spirit Of Liberty Moon”. Several of the scenes have stayed with me over the years, when Monica takes the beating intended for Jean, Tess is very unhappy with your interference, and then as Jean is thrown down a flight of stairs and dies in your arms, it was the look in your eyes. That single episode was a reminder about how precious a society based on Freedom truly is and that often that freedom is and has not been extended to many of our fellow human citizens around the globe. It was a very strong message that when you make a stand for freedom there are at times heavy prices to pay.

Thirdly, even when you are an Angel or you follow all the rules, God does not promise us easy sailing.

How did the story come about, what was the spark?

Roma Downey: We had a wonderful team on “Touched by An Angel” – our screenwriters, story editors, directors. They always put such heart and thought and passion into the stories for the show.

Faith Filled Family: Was it a politically charged or emotionally tough episode to produce?

Roma Downey: It was never our goal to make a political statement with the show. We just wanted to spread the simple message of God’s love to a world that needed – still needs – to hear it. Some episodes were certainly more “topical” than others, but it was never about using God to make any point other than how much he cares about us.

Faith Filled Family: What was the response to that episode after it aired?

Roma Downey: I don’t specifically remember the reaction to that episode, to be honest. We made more than 200 episodes and ran for almost 10 years but it was always very gratifying to hear from viewers who came to understand more about God’s character, more about His love for us, by watching the show. All these years later I still hear from people who were touched by the show. It continues to be run on GMC. Faith Filled Family: Did that episode have a personal effect on you?

Roma Downey: Playing Monica was the role of a lifetime because it allowed for such a vast array of emotions. There was a lot of comedy, a lot of lighthearted stuff – and a lot of earnestness and opportunity to demonstrate the depths of God’s love for us. And, of course, like in this episode, some really dramatic and deeply moving moments. As a believer it was a privilege for me to deliver a message of God’s love every week.

Faith Filled Family: One of your projects is the animated series, “Little Angels,” which by the way has been approved by Mothers of Preschoolers. Congratulations! The primary characters are a set

of paternal twins, Alex and Zoe and eight Angels! The series is educational, (letters, numbers, etc.), however, it is not the entire focus. The Angels also teach family values, being kind, sharing with each other, truthfulness, honesty, gratitude and of course love for one another.

It is a bright cheerful series!

The following prayer, (found on the Little Angels Website), is from your childhood, where did it originate?

“God in Heaven, my Savior dear, Watch over my children and draw thou near.

Send your little angels to be at their side to light and to guard to love and to guide.”

Roma Downey: It was based on a prayer my Dad would pray with me each night when I was a child. It is special to me and was a way for me to honor my Dad through my work. He was a good man, a loving man, a kind man filled with integrity and faith.

Faith Filled Family: What was your reason for producing a preschooler series? Why did you believe there was a need for a new series when many have already been produced?

Roma Downey: I don’t think it’s ever too early to begin sharing with our children the truth that God loves them and lessons like the Golden Rule. There are other shows that have relayed similar messages, but I felt it was really good idea to make the little angels the lead characters and “coaches” of the children.

They are inspiring and cute and educational too!

Faith Filled Family: How did the idea of eight Angels, painted, upon the ceiling above come about?

Roma Downey: Well, I love that the angels are ever-present. They are painted on the ceiling of the children’s nursery and when the parents are not around they come to life and fly down to engage with the kids, teaching them how to be in the world. Kids love it and parents have loved it, too, as it has real value in their preschoolers’ lives.

Faith Filled Family: Tell us a about the little Angel named Ariel, her assignment, and some of her advice to avoid trouble.

Roma Downey: Ariel is our guardian angel. We felt she was such an important character because one of the things God promises to do for us as his children is to protect us, look after us. Ariel represents that to the children – helping them when they get into trouble, as you say, but also helping them learn things like remembering to be thankful and showing forgiveness and the joy of sharing.

Faith Filled Family: Your latest project, “The Bible” miniseries -- spectacular is an understatement!

Congratulations, on all the success, it is well earned.

I would like to focus on a few scenes that are priceless and may have changed a few dogmatic perceptions with relevance to our lives today as well as a couple of observations. I am limiting my questions to the first three episodes only, “In the Beginning,” “Exodus,” and “Homeland”.

Faith Filled Family: What was the time span from concept to airing of the first episode?

Roma Downey: This has been a great journey and my husband Mark and I first started talking about it four years ago .It has been a blessing in our lives and in our marriage.

Faith Filled Family: The message that rang out over and over again is, “God is with us”; Was this deemed a primary message or theme?

Roma Downey: While we were so grateful to get 10 hours on primetime TV, we knew that in only 10

hours it would be impossible to cover the entire Bible. So Mark and I made the decision to spotlight those stories that had a connective thread of God’s love for all of us. From Genesis to Revelation, that’s what we feel is the overriding message of Scripture, and that’s hopefully what we captured with the series.

Faith Filled Family: In regards to the writing of the miniseries there were two powerful, well written scenes that reach out and grab you!

The scene by the river Nile, Pharaoh is swimming and the water is turned into blood, Joshua watches in amazement and states, that he will “never be a slave again.” It is such a statement of hope to the viewer that there is the possibility of God talking to us in the here and now, if we displayed just a bit of faith. The scene broadcast volumes of words, in a matter of seconds. It was a direct statement of the realization that with God there is true freedom; it does not matter which circumstance you may find yourself in today, for tomorrow will be different even if it currently looks the same.

Another scene is when Joshua can not find a way into Jericho a city of great walls, thinking, he asks himself, “Moses, my old friend, what would you do?” Joshua knows and kneels down to pray. An Angel appears, and states, “For Moses God parted the sea, and for you…God will split rock.” God doesn’t just put a hole in the wall; no, he removes the entire wall! It reminded me of Isaiah 49:15-16, (KJV). Again, the message is there that what God has done in the past, he is able to do today.

How important was the quality of the writing for the miniseries due to the limits of the allotted time and resources for such a large volume of material?

Roma Downey: We had an incredibly talented team of writers who had the benefit of really great source material, too – after all, the Bible is rich and lush and epic; it is the greatest story ever told. To help the writing team, we enlisted the help of dozens of pastors, theologians and ministry leaders to ensure that the scripts were biblically accurate and reverent.

Faith Filled Family: The miniseries is also not sanitized or candy coated, it appears very realistic, from Adam rising out of the dust from which he was made, all the babies that were collected and thrown off the cliff by Pharaoh’s order. In viewing each scene it was if each millimeter of space was packed with significance, and then audio was added. The attention to detail is amazing. As an example, we see a bloodied Christ drop to his knees under the weight of the Cross he is carrying. The camera then guides the viewer into the pupil of his eye to see Creation, and then the next sound you hear is, “In the beginning”. It is a powerful reminder that Christ was present at the moment of Creation, (Ephesians 1:4 New Living Translation), very powerful. How did you manage such a monumental task, for each and every scene?

Roma Downey: Prayer works!

Faith Filled Family: While filming in Morocco was there a favorite food that you or the crew really enjoyed?

Roma Downey: We all enjoyed the local cuisine of couscous. The food was great in Morocco and the local hospitality warm and welcoming FYI-Cleft Lip and Cleft Palate, which can also occur together as cleft lip and palate, are variations of a type of congenital cleft misalignment caused by abnormal facial development during embryonic stage gestation. A cleft is a fissure or opening—a gap. It is the non-fusion of the body’s natural structures that form before birth. This condition can also affect other parts of the face, such as the eyes, ears, nose, cheeks, and forehead. Operation Smile reports that every three minutes world wide a child is born with a cleft which is about one in 700 births.

Since this misalignment is facial, it can affect the physical ability to eat, speak clearly, and thrive. Due

to the facial presentation it is not easily hidden, therefore, in many places around the globe there are social economic prices that are paid by the children and the families that are affected. It is correctable with surgery.

Faith Filled Family: You have been involved with Operation Smile for about 20 years. What is it that this organization does to inspire such loyalty?

Roma Downey: It is a remarkable organization that provides an excellent example of what Jesus says when he tells us to look after those less fortunate. This volunteer group provides free surgeries and changes the world one smile at a time. I am proud to help draw awareness to their life changing work.

Operation Smile is a blessing to the world.

Faith Filled Family: You are not only a spokesperson, you and your family have also traveled to places like Granada to participate, tell us a little about the experience from your point of view.

Roma Downey: Yes, I have traveled the world with them over the years and have been able to see up close the amazing transformational work they do. I have visited the Middle East, Asia and Central America, and it always moves my heart to see and feel firsthand the difference they make in the lives of these children and their families Faith Filled Family: How can the Readers and Staff of Faith Filled Family Magazine be of assistance?

Roma Downey: There are many ways to help. You can find one that works for you at www.operationsmile. org Faith Filled Family: I am told that in your home that there is always time for tea, especially when there may be a difference of opinion. How did you foster and cement such peaceful uplifting behavior?

Roma Downey: I was born and raised in Ireland, and we love our tea! When any event occurred, happy or sad, we would create time for tea. I know that between stimulus and response there is a space. When we learn to be conscious and prayerful in that space we don’t have to live a life in “reaction.” Making tea and the ritual of taking the time and creating space in the moment helps us to become conscious and aware. To take the time to be present, and to connect; to share this with another is a beautiful gift!

Faith Filled Family: In my research I learned that dinner; together, uninterrupted is an everyday occurrence! Most of us have schedules that continue to become increasingly busy. How did it become a priority? How did you put into practical reality?

Roma Downey: You just have to make a commitment and stick to it. You won’t be perfect; things come up, especially as the kids get older and get busier. Mark and I have busy schedules. But if it’s something you value, you’ll find time to do it more times than not. And that goes with any goal you set for yourselves as a family. We make an effort to eat together, no phones, no texting at the table, and giving thanks for our food beforehand by saying grace.

Faith Filled Family: Who is someone that you admire that made an impression upon you? Why? Roma Downey: My friend, costar and “Mother” Della Reese. She has been an angel to me and I am grateful for her loving presence in my life Faith Filled Family: What is your first memory of God being real to you?

Roma Downey: When I was very young my Daddy encouraged me to listen to my God voice within. I remember hearing that voice when I was just a young child reminding me to be kind. It was just an inner knowing, not a burning bush moment, but a still quiet inner awareness. Either there is no God or there is only God. For me there is only God. Faith Filled Family: Do you have a favorite Bible verse?

Roma Downey: Many, but my Dad loved the 23rd Psalm. I have been comforted myself by it many times over the years. I made sure it was included in the Bible series to honor My Heavenly Father and My Old Irish Dad. Faith Filled Family: What is an activity that you do just for the fun of it?

Roma Downey: I love walking the beach here in Malibu. I have three giant Irish Wolfhounds and there is nothing I love better than a daily walk by the water’s edge.

FYI-According to Petfinder.com – Irish Wolfhounds are aptly known as the gentle giant, the Irish wolfhound is a soft-natured, easygoing breed. He is calm around the house, sensitive, patient, easygoing and sweet. Despite his great size, he is good with children, pets and other dogs. It can be reserved with strangers and courageous when the need arises.

Faith Filled Family: Are you able to discuss your next project from Light Workers Media? Are you able to tell us an expected release date?

Roma Downey: Right now, we’re working on turning the New Testament portions of the miniseries that focus on the life and ministry of Jesus into a feature film. We’re very excited about that! And, of course; the launching of, “The Bible”, series globally to spread the good news throughout the world.

The First Aid Kit for Bullies “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.�

M

By Brenda Stapleton

ost kids have been teased before. When these kids are teased, it is a form of mutual play between siblings or friends and it is done in friendly way in which the kids, the teachers, and the parents know it is harmless. This type of teasing is a normal part of growing up. It is a part of building friendships and learning to understand and cope with different personalities throughout the growing years. At some point, teasing can change. It can become an everyday experience in the life of your child changing their personality, their grades at school, and their desire to attend school. It is at that point, teasing is no longer a growing change, it becomes hazardous to your child, to you as a parent, and to the safety of the school where children just like yours, attend on a daily basis.

Bullying is intentional. Bullying begins when physical, verbal, or psychological ways range from pushing, hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking - to taking lunch money and treasured possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others, forming groups and alienating others and while spreading rumors about them. Others use email, Facebook, and text messages to -Romans 12:17-18 continue tormenting others on a broader basis. As parents we long to think our children would feel confident enough to come to us. However, sometimes fear from a bully can build a bridge between parent and child, teacher and child, and even best friend and child. It is one thing to struggle with inner

fear, but when a bully moves from psychological torment to physical retaliation; silence becomes a child’s best friend to protect himself/or herself. It is fear.

It’s important to take bullying seriously. Many teenagers have taken their lives, leaving notes behind expressing their agony. Desperate cries for help written in ink and tears, but the next day parents, teachers, fellow classmates, and close friends sit wondering why they never knew. In severe cases, bullying has contributed to tragedies, such as school shootings involving teachers, students, and the person with the weapon; people dying for unexplained reasons. Just broken forms of miscommunication in which some or all persons could have been saved from such a hazardous display of hatred or the influence social media has on the portrayal of violence in their home life.

Dr. Harriet Klopper, a criminologist in Pretoria, has concluded that the media is playing a key role: “It is estimated that children see more than 8,000 murders and 100,000 violent acts on T.V. before they reach high school.” Up to 80% of computer games aimed at youngsters between the ages of 8 and 14 realistically portray blood, beheadings, mutilation and death in graphic color, with all of the associated sound effects.

“And heroes who die in these games come to life again, which teach children that violence has no consequences.” Some people say, “It is just a game.” Even adults spend hours playing these games. These games captivate the mind. They intrigue the player to continue until everyone dies.

Everyone is an enemy. If a game can captivate the adult mind for hours at a time, who is to say this game can’t convince a child during an angry outburst, the game is not real? It is okay to inflict pain, stab, or kill your opponent. They will be here tomorrow, right?

Earlier this year my daughter came to me and told me some of her female classmates were acting out against her. This is her first year in the high school, as the school combines their 7-12th grades in one school. Some of the girls were on the basketball team with her in the Fall. The group had moved to the Winter and transitioned to the tennis team. It was not like this child to have difficulties. She is an honor roll student taking Honors classes. She is involved in 4-H and the Christian Club on campus. Therefore, coming to me with what appeared to be guilt, I

could not understand why she had suddenly, after seven years, began to have problems in school.

I didn’t want to see my child working so hard and suffering at the criticism of some child (or children) out of jealousy or spite. I knew that I could not get defensive. I had to believe that prayer would help my daughter, and me.

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31 Faith would see us through this ordeal without harm befalling anyone involved.

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-21 As a former teacher, I immediately sat down and demanded the full recount. When talking with a child that feels he or she has been bullied, I remembered from classes in education never tell your child to ignore the bullying and never blame your child for the bullying. Anytime a child comes to you as an educator or a parent, to empathize with the child or student your child. Tell him or her that bullying is wrong, that it is not his or her fault, and that you are glad he or she had the courage to tell you about it. Do not encourage physical retaliation.

“But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil.

But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” Matthew 5:39 As a parent, contact the school counselor or principal at your school immediately and share your concerns about the bullying your child has experienced. However, as a parent we talked about how we view ourselves, and how view others.

“I thank him who has given me strength, Christ

Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service.” 1 Timothy 1:12

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

resentful attitudes toward anyone in authority and arrogant disdain for learning. Their parents give them no support…”

All of girls were called in. Since Hammond, P., Christian Action.

It’s never too early to talk to your then the girls are back in the Unfortunately they have become child about your game, sitting together, overnight deadly. More than likely a result values. Your child needs to know stays, and calling or texting of increasing violence from right from wrong in how they constantly. One girl did not bullies in grade school growing treat people. choose to remain with the group. up to be bullies in high school All of the other girls seem to get and continuing this pattern into “So flee youthful passions and along once again. college and maybe even at pursue righteousness, faith, As a parent, I worry about home. In a world where violence love, and peace, along with both of my children. My oldest continues to grow, our children those who call on the Lord from child is in college and I haven’t become adults and make their a pure heart” 2 Timothy 2:22 encouraged her to join a Sorority. own way. As parents, we must I have reviewed Professional continue to trust in the Father If you teach your child well, they Organizations in her field. When I to watch over our children. In will recognize bad behavior was in grade school, teasing was trusting though, we must provide when they see it; whether it’s to something you did, but it never an example for these children to them or others. Teach your child was harmful. When I entered follow. We must openly talk with that the standard is treating all college, I was in a Professional our children. We must monitor people with respect. Treat others Fraternity in my field determined what they watch and who they the way you want to be treated by grade point average and a talk to on the computer. If your and with the values you would letter of recommendation from a children play games, they will like to receive: respect, love, Faculty member. Within the first swap games. Know what your kindness, grace. week I had heard a multitude of child is playing, and who he/or hazing rituals. Just recently a she is playing with. Furthermore, “These things I command you, so Florida University band member talk to your child, pray with your that you will love one another.” was beaten to death during a child, and talk to our Father.

John 15:17 hazing ritual.

We have to trust the values instilled in them as children and The school was consulted in “These have indeed an teenagers will follow them into my daughter’s situation. The appearance of wisdom in principal was not as concerned promoting self-made religion as I was about my daughter’s and asceticism and severity to safety. I had to contact the the body, but they are of no value school board and have the in stopping the indulgence of the superintendent for secondary flesh.” Colossians 2:23 education get involved. My daughter began to get fearful These are still common today. when I advised her that I would Educationists are reporting have someone from the school that violence amongst school board come talk to her. She children is increasing. Many began to worry more about the teachers are complaining students, and the principal might about the violent character and also look upon her negatively. destructive habits of so many of Everyday I took her to her the children they are assigned to bedroom door and she read the work with. As one put it: “They sign she created for herself as a come saturated with the popular reminder, culture, foul mouthed language, Image courtesy of m_bartosch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

their adult years. These values will continue to guide them by faith and grace at the hand of the Father.

you have what is necessary to keep your child covered in Christ when you aren’t with him? Do you have band aids for those scrapes and cuts in the forms “Behold, all who are incensed of words that Christ will protect against you shall be put to your child from and to keep the shame and confounded; those faith to turn the other cheek? who strive against you shall be Did you add a cold compress for as nothing and shall perish. You your child’s eyes, for those days shall seek those who contend when the tears swell them from with you, but you shall not find hurt, the compress will be placed them; those who war against by the hand of the Father to you shall be as nothing at all. bring comfort and trust. Did you For I, the Lord your God, hold provide multiple tapes, gauze, your right hand; it is I who say to and ointments to cover with you, “Fear not, I am the one who grace all for your child you know helps you.” Isaiah 41:11-13 Christ has given freely. Finally, did you provide a pair of scissors Is your first aid kit ready? Do to cut the child loose, installing

in him the knowledge of trust of him/ or her in the hands of Christ.

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6 Brenda Stapleton lives in Choudrant, Louisiana. She has a BA/MA. She has backgrounds in the fields Criminal Justice, Nursing, Teaching-Education, and Technical Writing. Brenda is an editor and writer by skill, and a believer in Christ by choice.

Image courtesy of cbenjasuwan/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

““For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11

M

any people spend years of their life pursuing what God has called them to do. Some try to find their passion, skill or dream: others create it. Give Fifty One Co-founders did just this!! On August 28th, 2011 two students, Alexander Greer and Jonathan Jones, met at Elevation Church’s volunteer orientation in Charlotte, NC. The men discovered that they not only attended the same law school, but also that they both had a

passion to inspire social change concerning youth through entrepreneurship. In pursuit of impacting youth socially in their own lives, they decided to work in an after-school mentoring program where they found that some of the mentee students were homeless.

GIVE FIFTY ONE defines homeless children as those who are living in unstable conditions that include: shelters, payby-week motels, doubled-up not by choice, cars/buildings or other areas not suitable for habitation, foster children awaiting permanent placement.

The duo began to research child homelessness and learned that each year over 1.6 million

FIFTY ONE Foundation.

Because Acts 20:35 states that it is better to give than to receive, the team wants to give away more than half of their profit.

So, 51% of the brand’s profit is given to bring awareness to child homelessness, provide direct support to homeless children, and support other programs that help homeless children through strategic partnerships. Ultimately, GIVE FIFTY ONE seeks to erase child homelessness both in the U.S. and throughout the world. “We have a Passion to DREAM BIG, BELIEVE BIG, and GIVE BIG. We give more than half because we believe that ‘it is better to give than to receive.’” These men

What One Business is Do children in the United States and 100 million children worldwide are without homes. Jonathan and Alex soon became aware that in their own community of Charlotte alone the number of homeless children had risen from 1,038 in 2004 to 4,711 in 2011. Their direct encounter with child homelessness through the mentoring program inspired them to create a humanitarian based brand, fusing an idea of social entrepreneurship with their desire to help support homeless children. Their inspiration to help homeless children is also based on James 1:27 which states religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. Since then, GIVE

FIFTY ONE was formed to meet the needs of homeless children.

Their website offers watches, tees, and hoodies which not only contribute financially to ending child homelessness, but also helps bring awareness to the global mission by having supporters like you wear the vision and share the vision.

You can also purchase an iGFO membership or give a tax deductible donation to the GIVE

have heard God’s bold calling not to assist in child homelessness, but ultimately their vision is to end this issue in the lives of kids around the world. An inspiring example that GIVE FIFTY ONE hopes to pursue is a unit similar to the Los Angeles, CA Dream Center. It was created in 1994 by one man with a valiant heart.

The Dream Center is a volunteer driven organization that finds and fills the needs of over 50,000

Give Fifty One. ..

oing to Help Homelessness

By Megan Poole

By Margo Venter individuals and families each month. They actively assist in skill training, relief programs, shelters and life skill counseling with a passion to share the gospel in these activities. “We work to meet people where they are at, to bring them hope and a way off the streets. Find a need and fill it, find a hurt and heal it,” Pastor and Founder Tommy Barnett.

When asked ‘What makes your organization stand out?’

Alexander Greer gave some unique insight: “A big part of it is the how young our followers are that volunteer with us and encourage our campaign. A majority of the support we receive derives from students who get involved with our outreach and spread the word through wearing the watches/

apparel which actively markets what we’re doing.

Another factor is there are 9,000 nonprofits in Charlotte and some recent feedback showed we are one of the only apparel/social entrepreneurship conjunction in the city!! As far as the purpose behind that, our apparel brings awareness which is essential for our mission and much more effective than solely watches.

It also allows us to fund our outreach/mission work through profits from sales and donations.

Ultimately more people are able to support what we’re doing and we do not have to solely rely on donations and ourselves.”

GFO has stepped up and stepped out in both the community and internationally through partnerships including A Child’s Place, Faith hope

and Love Mentoring, Walter G Byers Elementary School, Stand Up for Kids, Urban Life, The Surge, Mushaymunda Christina Development Fund, Salvation Army’s Center of Hope, Go Bear Fruit Ministries.

They also launched a Campus Club at UNC Charlotte that will bring awareness to the university population and funnel students into mentoring and volunteering roles.

GIVEFIFTY ONE sponsor 6 orphans in Zimbabwe, Africa through MCDF and one youth monthly through Stand Up for Kids. GFO provides mentoring at Faith Hope and Love and helps plug in new mentors.

The team has hosted several functions to raise money and awareness including a blue jean bash where the organization

gave away 500 jeans to a local elementary school that has the highest rate of homeless children in attendance out of any school in the city, they hand delivered over 120 teddy bears with partner Go Bear Fruit for a second chance Christmas event for children in desperate need, the foundation created a Super Hero day to inspire and help local homeless children, and in November Paschal Promotions hosted a Red Hot Turkey Bash to fight child homelessness and GFO made a donation to sponsor a homeless child’s family with every purchase made on givefiftyone.org! GIVE FIFTY ONE makes it easy to get involved and plugged in to their movement: the team recently began creating new fundraising opportunities so that you can help support their mission!

When listening to Alexander Greer’s testimony of launching GIVEFIFTY ONE he shared how God has transformed his and fellow co-founder Jonathan Jones’s lives through Jesus Christ. They were no longer fulfilled with just being law school students, instead, they knew God was calling them

to do more and be more for His glory! Alexander spoke of how their faith in Jesus has given them boldness and audacious faith to believe that through Christ anything can happen! Furthermore, he explained that GFO is really a journey of taking one more step in faith, and believing that God works all things for the good of them that love Him. ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight’ Proverbs 3:5-6 GFO is an evident example of the wonderful works God has in store for each and every one of our lives if you walk by faith and not by sight.

Alexander and Jonathan started with a mustard seed, a simple conversation, which has grown into a movement for Jesus. Please continue to pray for the hearts of everyone in this ministry and make a decision to support an end to child homelessness at www.givefiftyone.org

Age Old Debate: Evolution or Creation?

By Lois Loba

What does the Hebrew Letter Called Bet, And Two Clocks Have In Common With The Book Of Genesis?

Suggested Study Tools: Interlinear Bible-For those of us who do not speak Hebrew or Greek The Complete Strong’s Concordance

T

he Age of the Universe and our Origins has been a topic of discussion, political upheaval, and bitter dispute since our beginning, and will be until the end of our age. Every theory and every myth of legend has left us with more questions than answers. In times past those who dared to ask those questions often met with an untimely horrific death, we refer to them as Saints or Martyrs. Today, we have the ability to ask questions without the fear of being executed or imprisoned. Science and Theology need not be on opposite ends of the spectrum in our pursuit of the truthful Light of Knowledge. God knows it will lead us directly to his Footstool.

I am reminded of an anecdote that I heard many years ago. It goes something like this…A group of Scientist are climbing a mountain of information in there search for the Truth. Each generation of Explorers leaves a marked path towards the summit for those who will follow. The final generation finally sees the mist covered summit, the route is tough and treacherous. The explorers reach a point in where they can climb no farther. Disappointed and clinging to a rock face a hand suddenly appears through the mist and offers assistance to the explorers. Once the Explorers are lifted onto the summit they find a long standing camp all set up, living quarters, a roaring fire, good food and a first aide station. The lead explorer asks, “Who are you?” The reply, “We are the Theologians, and we have been waiting for you. We were told to have all comfort measures ready, for you would need them.” Science and Theology are and should always be a team of, “Best Practices”, for both disciplines of study are and always will be hard work!

This article is about information and not dogma. The goal of this article is to present a safe place to ask questions since not one of us alive today has all the answers. Yet, every nanosecond of our lives is governed by Science that is in motion with us from conception unto death and as a people we are Science illiterate. It is the hope of this article that we will see that God does in fact speak to us through the language of Science, (it is a language of love from a Father to his created children), and we as a people will be inspired to learn a few of those words or musical notes of poetry by going back to, “The

Beginning”…

Please Welcome….

Dr. Gerald Lawrence Schroeder Website: geraldschroeder.com Email-Gerald_schroeder@alum.mit.edu Bio- Dr. Schroeder is an Orthodox Jewish physicist, author, lecturer and teacher at College of Jewish Studies Aish HaTorah’s Discovery Seminar, Essentials and Fellowships programs and Executive Learning Center, who focuses on what he perceives to be an inherent relationship between science and spirituality. Dr. Schroder received his BSc in 1959, his MSc in 1961, and his PhD in nuclear physics and earth and planetary sciences in 1965, from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT). He worked five years on the staff of the MIT physics department. He was an Advisor of the United States Atomic Energy Commission. In 2012 Schroeder was awarded the Trotter Prize by Texas A&M University’s College of Science.

Books Authored by Dr. Schroeder:

God According to God: A Physicist Proves We’ve Been Wrong About God All Along, (2009).

“Well, what about dinosaurs? And 35 other Bible challenging questions kids [and parents] ask.”

This is an EBook which can be found at-People of the Ebooks.com Highly recommended! Cost is 5.00 USD. “Age of the Universe” by Dr. Gerald Schroeder can be found in it’s entirety at aish.com-This article is also highly recommended! Easy to read and understand. This article will make you want to read Genesis all over again!

Faith Filled Family: The questions from Children in all their innocence are often shocking, appear sacrilegious, or the motive for the question is hidden. In your eBook, “Well what about Dinosaurs”, you offer some insight. Please, could share some of your wisdom?

Dr. Schroeder: Genesis and the Big Bang (1990).

Imprecise Question Formation-When a question is posed, it is crucial to understand the motivation The Science of God: The Convergence of Scientific factors-the real reason why the student is asking. and Biblical Wisdom, (1997).

What REALLY is the student’s question? Often the terminology used by the student is ambiguous The Hidden Face of God: Science Reveals the and leads the teacher to believe that the student Ultimate Truth, (2002). is coming from one vantage point when, in fact it’s another. The questions are usually very short with little elaboration.

For example: Jacob asks his parents where he came from. The parents give Jacob a two hour lesson on human reproduction. All Jacob wanted to know is what their address was before they moved into their current home.

Avoiding Hasty and Emotionally Charged Responses-Care must be taken to avoid an emotional response to a “disturbing inquiry” by the student. There are many variables that motivate a student to ask a “loaded” question. Often the student himself has not fully reflected upon the meaning of his question. The best approach is always to respect the question no

matter how it grates against the grain. Engage the student and don’t repel him. It is possible that in past experiences, others may have responded in anger thereby, alienating the student. Responding calmly increases the probability that the student will drop an adversarial stance. The student, in turn, will come to realize that this teacher is truly interested in him and his doubts.

Faith Filled Family: You have a preference for Ancient Biblical Commentary. How did you develop this preference?

Dr. Schroeder: Ancient commentary avoids bending the Bible to match modern science. So the ancients saw in the wording of the Bible their conclusions, by not bending the bible.

Faith Filled Family: Can you give us a short list of Ancient Commentary that we could add to our libraries? Especially for those of us who are part of the Christian Community.

Dr. Schroeder: The major commentators would be Rashi [1090]; Maimonides [1190]; Nahmanides [1250]. Their works are available in many languages, including very good translations into English.

Faith Filled Family: Most of us in the Christian community are like the preverbal Bull in Hebrew Language Shop, we haven’t got a clue! Enlighten us about the written first letter of Genesis? For me your explanation was like remembering the day I found out that my parents had a life before I arrived! God had a life before us, as well!

Dr. Schroeder: The first letter of the Bible is pronounced bet. From it comes the English letter B, the 2nd letter of the English alpha bet and also the 2nd letter of the Hebrew alphabet, called the aleph-bet. Bet is shaped like a backwards C, closed in all directions except the forward direction, implying that we can never see before the beginning of our magnificent universe, (recall that Hebrew is written right to left).

which we can not investigate, that is Planck time and may be the smallest unit of time. The question revolves around whether time is continuous or is time granular, coming in specks, each speck being so small as to be not measureable.

Faith Filled Family: In 1959 a survey was completed of leading American Scientist what did that survey reveal?

Dr. Schroeder: 2/3 of the scientists questioned said that they think the universe is eternal, never had a beginning. Note that that is in direct contradiction to the opening sentence of the Bible.

Faith Filled Family: In 1965 a discovery was made that shattered the results of that Survey.

What was that discovery? What did it prove?

Dr. Schroeder: Two scientists, one a Christian one a Jew, working together discovered that the entire space of the universe is filled with a very weak, background radiation. This is believed to be remnant radiation, now cooled, of the original creation.

Faith Filled Family: Cosmic Background Microwave Radiation is often referred to as an Echo, Fossil Record, or a Relic of God’s Verbal Command, “Let There Be Light”. Is this a fair assessment?

Dr. Schroeder: That is certainly one way of understanding the hint in the Bible of that event.

Faith Filled Family: Since God did not create our Sun until the fourth day, what type of light was spoken into existence? What is the difference?

Dr. Schroeder: The Sun not being mentioned till the 4th day may have two meanings, both ancient, not modern. One is that the Sun was already there, but the earth was so overcast that the light could get through, the sun itself could not be seen through the overcast. Alternatively, the original light was not sun light; it was the high energy Faith Filled Family: This first letter for me is also radiation of the creation. like Planck Time. Can you give us a basic definition Faith Filled Family: Since the Universe is of Planck Time? still expanding then so is Cosmic Background Dr. Schroeder: There is a limit, physically before Microwave Radiation, correct? In a theological

sense could one describe the Cosmic Background Microwave Radiation as Bat Kol (Hebrew-definition literally daughter of a voice, concerns a “heavenly or divine voice which proclaims God’s will or judgment)? For the Christian Community for an example of Bat Kol refer to Matthew 3:16-17 KJV Dr. Schroeder: Yes, as the universe expands, the CBMR stretches as the wave length gets longer, the energy density weaker. In a sense it is indeed the echo or bat kol of the creation. Hence it is often referred to as the echo of the big bang creation.

Faith Filled Family: At what temperature is Cosmic Background Microwave Radiation found?

Is there an everyday example that we can compare that number, too?

Dr. Schroeder: CBMR is approximately, 5 Fahrenheit degrees above absolute zero, or minus 455 degrees. At absolute zero molecular motion ceases. Recall that water freezes at plus 32 degrees Fahrenheit.

The Bible describes time from the creation up to Adam in a unique manner, “there was evening and morning.” The calendar after Adam begins again in Chapter 5. There we read that every passage of time is human based, earth based. The fact that the description of time changes from before Adam to after Adam teaches this- two perspective of time measurement.

Faith Filled Family: Is the term, “First Day” found in most translations, incorrect?

Dr. Schroeder: Absolutely incorrect. The first day is numbered in the Hebrew as day one; not a first day and that nuance is crucial in understanding the Bible calendar.

Faith Filled Family: Our Universe was created in three dimensions, space, matter and time, correct?

The essence of time is a creation just as a tree, a star, or human is that correct?

Dr. Schroeder: Yes on both questions!!!

Faith Filled Family: In your article, “Age Of The Universe” you talk about two clocks and the Jewish Calendar. You point out a few details that may be unknown to those of us who were not raised in a Jewish home.

The Jewish New Year-Rosh Hashana it celebrates what event?

What does the Jewish calendar exclude?

Faith Filled Family: What did Einstein’s Law of Relativity teach us about time?

Dr. Schroeder: The Jewish New Year-Rosh Hashana celebrates the creation of the soul of humankind, the Neshama. Not the body of Adam, but the soul that was instilled into Adam and Eve and changed a Homo sapiens sapiens into a human. So the first 5 and half days of the six days of Genesis chapter one are not in the calendar.

They predate the creation of Adam and Eve (Genesis 1:27).

Faith Filled Family: How can a single event be measured in Time as three minutes and three years and both be correct?

Faith Filled Family: You propose that there is one clock for the six days of Creation and one clock for the Generations of Adam, true? Your proposal comes from the words used in Genesis from the Talmud, “there was evening and morning”, please explain.

Faith Filled Family: In your article you make a statement, “Time grabs hold”. Did Time always exist or was Time created after Matter? Must time be attached to Matter in order to travel forward, (like a couple walking hand in hand)?

Dr. Schroeder: The two clocks are not my invention.

Dr. Schroeder: That there is no such thing as absolute time. How one measures time and from where one measures time determines the answer you get. Different perspectives of time are and can be equally correct. Strange but proven to be true.

Dr. Schroeder: Depends on either differences in the relative velocities or relative gravities, one location relative to the other – hence the name, the laws of relativity. Or on a different scale, measurements of one event from two locations.

Dr. Schroeder: Time was created at the creation of the universe. And time moved forward from that

point of creation. But until there was stable matter, such as protons, there was nothing permanent in the universe “aging’ with the passage of time. That occurred approximately 0.00001 seconds after the creation. That is the starting point of the Biblical calendar for the first 6 days.

making ear shattering noises. In my creative mind I hear the most beautiful music ever composed, is there music in our Universe? Can you give us an example? Is there a way we can listen?

Faith Filled Family: The Term “Big Bang” is the common term used for describing the theory of our Origin. However, in my heart I do not picture God banging around the kitchen with pots and pans

Dr. Schroeder: The most basic question is Why is there existence?

For that I have no answer.

Dr. Schroeder: Look at the stars and read Psalm 19 . The heavens tell and talk of God’s greatness.

Faith Filled Family: The Higgs Boson or the We do not speak star language, we speak people “God Particle” is defined as the subatomic particle language. The heavens have their own voice and that gives weight or mass to Matter, true? Is this language. where Time would, “Grab Hold” as Matter passed through the Higgs Field (which in my mind is like Faith Filled Family: In all your studies is there a curtain or a Vail)? Is the Higgs Field predicted to one creation that is your favorite? be everywhere like Cosmic Background Radiation A discovery that made your soul just want to jump up and dance? was found to be?

Why is it your number one?

Dr. Schroeder: The Higgs Boson does give mass to fundamental particles but I do not think that this Dr. Schroeder: The creation itself and realizing is related to the phrase that time grabs hold, as that every item we see from stones to life itself is made from that creation. The beautiful simplicity used by the ancient commentator, Nahmanides. of the world. There is a Oneness in all the world.

Faith Filled Family: You offer a mathematical Hence, Deut. 6:4 and Jesus in Mark, Hear Israel, formula for calculating those six days of creation; the Lord our God the Lord is One. That one is not would you please share it with us? Will we need a number which is followed by other numbers. It is a calculator or can it be done with pencil, (with an a One that encompasses all.

Eraser) and paper?

Faith Filled Family: I want to ask you a million Dr. Schroeder: A bit too complex for here. You more questions, truly! However, this world has can see it in my book The Science of God or on my limits. My final question belongs to you. Is there web site, geraldschroeder.com, in the article titled, anything you would like to add to this article that I may have forgotten or missed?

The Age Of The Universe.

“We all get off

track with life, but if we can steadily remind ourselves He is the only way through life, we will be sustained by Him.”

Image courtesy of www.katelynmccarter.com

Katelyn McCarter: Behind the Music

By Lisa Carter

CD (not yet released) Faith Filled Family: “Ms. McCarter, you are a young, up and coming Christian music artist. How were you discovered?”

Katelyn McCarter: “I was discovered by John Degrazio who worked for a division of Virgin Records through a summer convention called AMTC (Actors, Models, and Talent for Christ). He then got me involved with people in New York and I was introduced to Jim Cooper. I recorded my first single, “Free From Me” with Jim Cooper who used to be in the famous Christian band Petra. I then was contacted by Arthur Payne of Dreamin’ Out Loud Entertainment through the website, REVERB NATION.” Faith Filled Family: “Was that your family’s first time hearing about AMTC?” Katelyn McCarter: “It was the first time my family or I have ever heard of AMTC. My mom heard it on a radio commercial and decided to take me to the audition for it! I got on the Richmond team for the convention! I was so excited to be doing something I finally loved outside of learning classical opera

at my music school. It was such a blessing that it came to my mother the way it did.”

Faith Filled Family: “I’ll say it was. But then again, that’s the way God works. Who wrote the lyrics to your new single ‘Free From Me’?”

Katelyn McCarter: “Yes! God is so wonderful and just so amazing. I am in constant admiration of the love He has shown me. The song was written by Jeremy Drinkwine and produced by Jim Cooper and Tommy Collier. They are an amazing team!”

Faith Filled Family: “Is there a writer in you as well?”

Katelyn McCarter: “Well that writer inside of me is still being worked and tweaked! I love to write and when I do it takes me to another place. I have to really focus to get a song through to a piece of paper but in the end, I think my writing has improved!”

Faith Filled Family: “Well, keep it up and it surely will. How long did you study ‘classical opera’?

Katelyn McCarter: “Thank you, Lisa! I studied at Virginia Commonwealth University. I studied

that

Image courtesy of www.katelynmccarter.com

classical opera for four years and they were the TOUGHEST years of my life! I was so used and comfortable with singing in a different style that opera was very exhausting and hard for me.

BUT I can say now that it was the best training I have ever received for singing! I learned so much from my teachers and coaches.

I will forever be changed through the training I’ve gained through them. It was very hard but it has made me a smarter musician and a much better singer.”

Faith Filled Family: “Very interesting, Katelyn. That also tells us something about you and your character. Tell us in what ways your life has changed since becoming a signed musical artist?”

Katelyn McCarter: “My life has changed dramatically since becoming a signed singer. Wow even saying that still gives me chills! People take me a lot more serious, it has driven me to keep pursuing my goals, I feel accomplished but I still have a desire to go further. I wanted this my whole life and I prayed about it since I was a young girl. God answers prayers and I know this was what I am supposed to do with my life.”

Faith Filled Family: “It’s interesting that you say, ‘I know this was what I am supposed to do with my life.’ How is it you feel so certain?”

Katelyn McCarter: “I am certain in many ways. It’s my passion and it’s what I love to do. I have known in my heart that I always wanted to do music and I feel anointed by God when I am singing.”

Faith Filled Family: “Katelyn, there are many young people

Image courtesy of www.katelynmccarter.com

who grew up in church like you, and who are gifted and talented musically. What advice can you share about honoring God with their talents and not going to secular music?”

Katelyn McCarter: “God is everywhere and in anything. I sing secular music as well and find that God can still be honored through that music. My advice would be just to do what God has called you to do!”

Faith Filled Family: “What advice would you have to parents who want to nurture their children’s talents but aren’t quite sure how?”

Katelyn McCarter: “Parents should pay attention to their child’s natural talents and support them. They should take control by signing them up for lessons, auditioning for shows and roles, and taking them places where they can watch what they love to do. It is vital that parents are interested in their child’s natural talents!”

Faith Filled Family: “How did your parents nurture your talents

in order to help you reach your goals?”

Katelyn McCarter: “My parents nurtured my talents in many ways.

They got me involved with doing vocal lessons, piano lessons, dance lessons, and acting. My parents would always come watch me perform in recitals, shows, and competitions and that support has always meant so much to me! I feel so loved by them just by seeing their face in the crowd of people. They have supported me throughout my entire life and I am very thankful to God to have such amazing parents who have always been there for me.”

Faith Filled Family: “Tell us about your family. Do you have other siblings?”

Katelyn McCarter: I have three brothers and one half brother.

Jeremy is the oldest, Micah, (then me the only girl), Adam, and my youngest brother, we call him ‘Puff”! Growing up with brothers has definitely shaped me in more ways imaginable...I love them all very deeply.”

Faith Filled Family: “Is your family musically inclined? Do they sing and/or play instruments?”

Katelyn McCarter: “My grandfather played the guitar and was somewhat vocally inclined, as well as my grandmother. She sang in choirs her whole life. I think that my family has a lot of rhythm with great taste in music!”

Faith Filled Family: “You’ve been compared to the likes of Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and Brit Nicole, to name a few. Have they influenced you musically?”

Katelyn McCarter: “They have influenced me in many ways!

I love all of them all differently.

Each artist is unique and each carries a different style that I absolutely adore.”

Faith Filled Family: “Who are some of your other musical influences?”

Katelyn McCarter: “I love Ella Fitzgerald, Etta James, Beyonce, Alicia Keyes, Karen Carpenter, Stevie Wonder, Celine Dion, and Christina Aguilera.”

Faith Filled Family: “How old were you when you came to know the Lord?”

Katelyn McCarter: “I did as a very young child, but when I grew up and became more mature, I knew at the age of eight that God was my Lord and Savior.”

Faith Filled Family: “How do you think being a young follower of Christ influences your music?”

Katelyn McCarter: “I feel as though God will bless any music I do. Since I can remember, I have sung for him and it is the most rewarding feeling in this world. I know he will always use me for his glory.

Faith Filled Family: “You mentioned that you also sing secular music. What are your thoughts

about some of the secular music that is popular but does not contain a positive message for young people?”

Katelyn McCarter: “I do not like music that is negative for any type of listener but younger listeners I feel are most vulnerable. They should be nurtured and hear about how much they are loved by God just by being exactly who he made them to be.”

Faith Filled Family: “There’s much talk these days about young people who walk away from their faith in their teen and young adult years. What has sustained you in your walk with God?” Katelyn McCarter: “His constant love and forgiveness has sustained my walk with God. We all get off track with life, but if we can steadily remind ourselves that he is the only way through life, we will be sustained by Him.” Faith Filled Family: “I watched a You Tube video of you singing a praise song and there were dancers performing in front as you sang. How important is it to you to incorporate dancing into your performances?”

Katelyn McCarter: “Dancing has always been a huge part of my life. My parents enrolled me into dance at the age of two and I have always loved it I guess because of the music! I view it as praise to God and also entertainment! It is so amazing to watch people dance but to see them give God the glory, is amazing.

Faith Filled Family: “Some people have mixed feelings about the ‘praise dance’ phenomenon that has swept the nation in recent years. What would you say to those who may have a difficult time embracing

the idea of dance in church services?”

Katelyn McCarter: Dance is a symbol of praise to God. We all have different ways we praise him.”

Faith Filled Family: “What are some long-term goals you can share with us that you’d like to see happen in your career?

What are some things you’d like God to help you achieve?”

Katelyn McCarter: “I have MANY goals ahead of me! I pray that God will provide me with an amazing album and be able to sell out tickets to my shows! I want to be and perform EVERYWHERE! I absolutely love to perform for God.” Faith Filled Family: “I ran across a website called ‘The Giovanna Talent Agency’ and they had some pretty remarkable things to say about you and your promising career. What is your connection with them?”

Katelyn McCarter: “The Giovanna Talent Agency is run through the label I am signed with, ‘Dreamin’ Out Loud Ent’.

They do an amazing job! I love my team!!!:)” Faith Filled Family: “They mention you are an ‘active member of her community, staying involved with ministry work and committing time to volunteer when she is able.’ Tell us about your community and volunteer work?”

Katelyn McCarter: “I sing at a lot of free, fundraising events.

It is very beneficial not only to myself, but for the focus of the event.”

Faith Filled Family: “According to yet another website, Top40-

Charts.com, you are ‘the multi-talented McCarter...who sings, dances, plays piano and

guitar...’ Did you take lessons for piano and guitar? Or do you play by ear?

Katelyn McCarter: “I have taken lessons for all of it! Even though I can play a little by ear, I am trained to read actual music!”

Faith Filled Family: “When can we expect the release of your new CD?” Katelyn McCarter: “Hopefully this summer!”

Faith Filled Family: “What else is in store for Ms. Katelyn McCarter? Upcoming concerts?

Events?”

Katelyn McCarter: “Hopefully BUNCHES!! More local things right now but larger events I am hoping come up very soon after my CD releases!”

Faith Filled Family: “How do

you stay grounded? And what steps do you see yourself taking in order to remain humble and grounded in the face of success?”

Katelyn McCarter: “I stay grounded by thinking of where I have been in my life and the obstacles I have overcome to get to where I am now. I have prayed about this my whole life and now that it is actually happening, I stay humbled by thinking of when I didn’t have so much luck or happiness with my life. God humbles me every day and I feel very blessed that he chose me to do this for a living!

It is such a blessing and I made a promise to him that I will never let him down!”

Faith Filled Family: “Is there anything else you’d like for our readers to know about you?”

Katelyn McCarter: “God is good and patience is everything.

It is his timing, and his timing is perfect.”

Many thanks to Katelyn McCarter for a great interview. We pray God’s blessings upon her music and her every endeavor to glorify Him.

Image courtesy of www.katelynmccarter.com

The Trouble of Molestation

By Lisa Carter

W

hat exactly is molestation also known as sexual abuse?

Molestation usually occurs in childhood and is known as CSA or Childhood Sexual Abuse. It is described as “any sexual activity that a child cannot comprehend or consent to”, according to the County of Los Angeles Public Health Newsletter for Medical Professionals. This abuse can occur in children in ages anywhere from infancy up to 18 years of age. Studies have shown that the longer the duration of the child abuse, the worse the adverse affects can be on the child. That is why it is critical as parents, teachers, caregivers, and especially as Christians, that we do what we can to help prevent this type of abuse from occurring and protect our children.

Types of Molestation

Sexual

It is possible that some may not be aware of the various kinds of molestation or abuse that occur.

It is also possible that someone may have been exposed to these things themselves not realizing that it was in fact abuse. The kinds of things that qualify as molestation as defined by the Legal Dictionary is as follows: “touching of private parts, exposure of genitalia, taking of pornographic pictures,

rape, inducement of sexual acts with the molester or with other children, and variations of these acts by pedophiles. Molestation also applies to incest by a relative with a minor family member, and any unwanted sexual acts with adults short of rape.”

What is sad to learn is that this kind of tragedy happens and often goes undetected by other family members. The reason being is because children do not tell. They are often sworn to secrecy by their abusers and are afraid to confide in anyone to their detriment. Sometimes, the abuser will threaten to do them harm, or threaten to bring harm to a family member the child is close to. The abuser may even threaten to tell on them as if the child is at fault. Whatever the case, children realize it is their word against the word of their abuser, and will likely keep quiet.

This is because the molester or abuser seeks to control the child.

Another way an abuser may keep a child under his control is to threaten to take away gifts.

If the person uses the tactic of giving gifts to the child in the form of toys, money, candy, video games, etc., they can threaten to take these things away, or stop giving them altogether if the child won’t cooperate. This is a form of manipulation and is very much a skill abusers learn to use effectively.

Some abusers seek to first gain the trust of the child by

befriending them and becoming especially close to them. They do this through a process called “grooming”. During this process, they learn the child’s likes and dislikes, pay extra special attention to them, give them gifts and/or show them favorable treatment. The person will likely have watched the child for awhile in order to study them before choosing to groom them for themselves. They seek out children who are often left alone, or have few friends, children with low self-esteem, or who are extra vulnerable in some way. This is why molesters are known as predators – because they prey on the most vulnerable and most precious members of our society – the children.

Molestation is clearly a “work of the flesh” as found in Galations 5:19-21 which reads, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.

I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (ESV).

It is the opinion of psychological experts that those who commit molestation were themselves molested. It follows therefore to consider that someone who deliberately takes part in committing such an act against a child is sick and in great need of help. They are in need of a healing: both spiritual and psychological. We know God is able to do it all, but the person would have to realize they have a problem first. They must realize they are in need and then begin

to reach out for help before they can be helped.

I realize it’s difficult to think of a sexual predator as someone who is ill. In fact, empathy is probably the last thing a parent would feel toward someone who molested their child. But except we begin to understand just how ill such a person can be, and better understand the illness itself, how can we help them?

Better yet, how can we begin to prevent this madness from taking place? I believe information and education about the problem is first and foremost. Educating our children about how important it is to be careful of strangers is a continual must. Perhaps with diligence, much prayer, and a heightened awareness, we can see a decrease in the incidents of molestation taking place among children.

Signs of Sexual Molestation The after affects of molestation can linger well into adulthood and have been proven to last throughout the child’s lifetime. It is something none of us want to have to deal with. Unfortunately, though, because we live in a world where the enemy is the god of this present age, we see such heinous acts such as these.

If you are a parent, teacher, coach, or anyone who may have the opportunity to work with minors, you are in the position to be observant and take note of children who may be in distress.

Here are just a few signs given by the Canadian Centre for Child Protection that could potentially point to children that may have been molested: What is Concerning Behavior?

1) Advanced sexual knowledge – The child has sexual knowledge beyond his/her level of development.

2) Sexualized behavior – The child “acts out” explicit sexual behavior.

3) Withdrawn/depressed – The child becomes increasingly withdrawn, and resists playing with usual friends or doing activities previously enjoyed.

4) Clingy – The child becomes extremely clingy to one or more particular person(s) and resists doing anything independently.

5) Decline in school performance – The child’s performance in school declines and grades drop significantly.

6) Distressed around a particular adult – The child shows distress or resistance to spending time with a particular adult.

7) Excessively seeks time with a particular adult – The child excessively seeks time with a specific adult as he/she is given extra attention, gifts and/or privileges.

8) Aggressive – The child seems agitated and acts out aggressively towards others, (e.g. yelling, hitting, putting others down).

9) Self-destructive – The child is physically

harming themselves and sharing feelings indicating a lack of self-worth (e.g. “I wish I was dead”).

10) Physical symptoms – The child shows obvious physical signs of abuse in the genital region (e.g. pain, bleeding, discharge).

was a virgin, and therefore “it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her.” In our society, trying to have a relationship with your half-sister would be considered improper even if she was not a virgin. But in ancient times, and in Middle Eastern culture, it was only considered improper if a girl was a virgin or a maiden.

Therefore, Amnon solicited the Of course, these are just help of a friend by the name of examples of some of the Jonadab who we are told was potential signs of distress in a “a very crafty man.” Jonadab child. They are not to be taken suggested to Amnon to lie down as proof of sexual molestation. and pretend to be ill. When his A child could display any one father came to visit him, he was or several of these signs at any to ask that the king allow Tamar given time. It would be wise for to come and prepare food for anyone who sees such signs as him. The king agreed, not aware these repeated in a child, to talk it of the evil that was being plotted over with someone right away. If against his daughter. Tamar possible, a licensed professional came as instructed and when such as a school counselor or she had finished preparing the therapist could suggest some food, Amnon instructed everyone steps to take next in order to else to leave in order to be alone further evaluate the situation with her. He asked her to bring and ultimately protect the child.

It is possible that we all know someone who has been a victim of molestation, and we are not aware of it. Unfortunately, this kind of victimization is more prevalent than it is rare. There is a story in the Bible that spells out both the “sickness” of the molester, as well as the despair that overwhelms the victim of molestation. 2 Samuel chapter 13 details an incident that occurred in King David’s family.

The incident involved his son Amnon and his daughter, Tamar, Amnon’s half-sister. Amnon had developed an infatuation with his half-sister, who we are told was “lovely”. The Bible says about Amnon that “he was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick”. She

the food into the bedroom where he was lying, then Amnon took hold of his sister Tamar. He demanded that she lie with him.

She begged him not to do such a disgraceful thing. Verse 13 says, “And where could I take my shame?...” Clearly, she was aware of the lifetime of shame and despair that befell a woman who had been victimized in such a way. But her trying to reason with her brother Amnon fell on deaf ears. His heart was intent on forcing her and he raped his sister Tamar. Interestingly, after doing such a horrible thing to her, verse 15 says “Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, ‘Arise, be gone!’”. The Bible sums up the rest of her life by simply saying, “So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.”

This story paints a sad picture for us of what becoming a victim of molestation looks like. It indicates a life of hopelessness, loneliness and misery for the victim. The victim in those days was likely to remain unwed all of her life, never having a family of her own. She was considered “damaged goods” and was never to be given to a man in marriage. Today, victims of molestation are not as easily noticeable. You can’t tell just by looking at a person that they have been victimized any more than you can spot a predator just by looking at them. Moreover, the victim these days could be either male or female, unlike in Bible days when it was mostly women who were victimized.

-Active Parenting Active parenting includes getting to know your children’s friends and their families, if possible. It doesn’t mean we need to have dinner with them or visit their homes, but we do need to take care to ask them questions whenever appropriate.

For example, if your child is invited to a friend’s house for a sleepover and you’ve never met the parents, it would be smart to ask for a contact number to introduce yourself to the parents, and to ask any questions you feel are appropriate. It would also be wise to obtain full names of the parents and phone/cell numbers, and finally pray about whether or not it’s even a good idea to allow your child to attend the sleepover. Some may think this a bit extreme, and that some parents may not appreciate being questioned. But when it comes to your child, it is better to err on the side of caution. Besides,

as a parent myself, I wouldn’t mind being asked questions by another parent. In fact, I would welcome them.

-Active Listening Active listening includes really hearing our children when they speak to us about someone new in their lives. This could be a new friend, a friend’s parent or siblings, even a coach or teacher.

We need to hear what they are saying as well as what they are not saying. This means really tuning in, temporarily forgetting about whatever else is on our minds at the time. How often has your child come to you to tell you something and you were busy doing something else at the same time? How well do you think the child feels like you’re listening to them? It’s a sobering thought, and one that requires reflection. We’re all busy as parents and therefore guilty at times of not really tuning in to our children when they speak. I would suggest that rather than beat ourselves up over the times we didn’t listen well, there is no better time to start becoming a better listenerthan right now.

Keeping the communication lines open with our children is one way to help them feel secure. It helps us feel a little more secure as well.

-Active Learning Active learning includes all of the above as well as gaining knowledge of what’s going on in your child’s world. Who are their best friends and what are their interests? It helps to gain an awareness of the atmosphere your child is in on a daily basis.

What is high school like for a teenager today as opposed to

when you were a teen? We all know that a lot has changed over the years, indeed. Our children are exposed to ideals and philosophies daily that go against the biblical principles we strive to teach them. It’s up to us as parents to be aware of these ideals in order to counteract with gentle reminders of what the Word of God says about our world and this present age.

There are no easy answers as this is a very heavy and sorrowful subject for parents who have been through it.

However, it is good to know that God is a healer and a restorer, and that anyone who was once a victim can be a victor in Christ.

We read in Isaiah, “The spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” Isaiah 61:1-3. ________________________ Sources cited: “ T h e Public’s Health” Newsletter for Medical Professionals in Los Angeles County, Volume 9 No. 4 – April 2009 Canadian Centre for Child Protection – August 2011

Talk to Me!

By Jessica Price

A

s parents, we can feel the risk of drugs hovering over our children. What is the best way to steer our kids away from drugs? The scary truth about drugs are that they do offer teenagers things that appeal to them. Drugs can be fun and are considered cool by society.

Drugs do appear to bond people and make life exciting. They are easy to get. They do counteract boredom. They do make young people feel good. They do give people a time to escape from anxieties. Parents, if you have not come up with a list that provides your kids with reasons not to take drugs, how do you expect them to respond when society tells them the truth about drugs?

Believers may be apprehensive about discussing drug use with their children because they have not found enough Biblical ammunition to use to back them up in their conversation.

The Bible does not specifically address smoking weed, snorting cocaine, shooting heroine, or popping “E.” There is no

reference in the Bible for the pain killer epidemic that is crippling those involved. However, God has not left us empty handed.

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.

God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13.

The Bible talks about the necessary state of mind that believers have to maintain in order to conduct their lives in a way that is pleasing to God. We can not dedicate our lives to Jehovah when we are involved with a substance that will drain us of time and energy. If we are doing drugs, our job to do God’s will is taking a back seat.

We are wasting the life that God gave us to serve Him. The devil has won in his attempt to offer a distraction to get us off course.

Drugs set us back emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Our children need to know this.

“Be sober-minded; be watchful.

Your adversary the devil prowls

around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

1 Peter 5:8 If we can provide sensical reasons to stay away from drugs, more children would steer clear of addictive substances. Since it has been made clear to society that cigarettes are directly at fault for causing many types of cancer and other horrible illnesses, cigarette smoking has decreased. Give concrete reasons to stay away from something, and kids do listen.

Provide them with answers that will ring true to them. The National Crime Prevention Council recommends that parents educate themselves about drug use before speaking with their children. “Explain how drug use can hurt people in several waysfor example, the transmission of AIDS through shared needles, slowed growth, impaired coordination, accidents.” In “The 4 Deadliest Drugs Teens are Taking,” an article by Michele Borboa, MS, parents are advised to be familiar with the growing use of bath salts, glass

cleaner, and huffing dust off as ways teenagers are getting high.

Parents need to be very careful about keeping painkillers in the home. Skittle parties are events where teens meet up to share medication that they have taken from parents‘ and grandparents‘ homes, according to Borboa.

Children need God in their lives from the very start. As believers, we are hopefully able to raise our children with God as part of all that they do. Young children can be encouraged to build their own relationships with God. The older children get, the more difficult it may be to give them all the right messages. When kids start listening to their friends, parents get tuned out to some extent.

If we help our kids connect to God at a very young age, they will feel his presence strongly by the time they are teenagers. It is never to late to communicate or introduce God to your children.

God can change lives instantly.

A truth that society will not tell teenagers is that God is so much better then drugs. He offers all of the positives that a drug can momentarily provide without any of the negatives. A teenager with a close relationship with God is a teenager that may feel secure in saying “no” to drugs. They have received what others are still searching to find. God offers confidence, security, and peace in a healthy, beneficial way.

To be vigilant in protecting your children from drugs, God has provided us with empowering commandments. We are never helpless in our fight to ward off evil. If we do our part as parents, God promises to do His part.

1. Pray with your teenager to have the strength to refrain from drug use.

Acknowledge the temptation. It is there.

Your child needs to know that you and God are supporting them in their attempt to counteract evil. We as parents need to respect that it is admirable for our children to resist temptation. When we leave the battle against drugs out of our prayers with our young people, we are not fully following God’s commandment in Ephesians. We are to pray “on all occasions” with “all kinds of prayers and requests.” Do not assume that because your child is a Christian that they will say “no” to drugs. Satan targets us. He knows when we are weak, and he finds the kinks in our armor. Do not let drugs be Satan’s

avenue to get to your child. Make them aware of the dangers, and equip them with prayer to fight back.

2. Be realistic with your children about drug use.

Teenagers know when we are lying. They observe adults intently for inconsistencies. They are truth seekers. When they realize that we have not been fully honest with them, we are no longer a credible source of information to them. Tell them what drugs offer. Tell them about the glamour and temporary fulfillment that goes along with addiction.

Then explain what happens next. If we are not building ourselves up in Scripture, the world is breaking us down. Over time even recreational drug use strips us of all that God

wants for us. Our confidence, strength, focus, happiness, health, and emotions are all negatively impacted by drugs.

3. Do not talk down about drug use to your children.

Drugs do exactly what they promise to do.

Respect the power that drugs have over society.

If you talk down about people who get caught up in drugs, you will loose the trust of your young person. Some of the most brilliant individuals have been tormented by addiction. The Bible is filled with people who battled against urges of the flesh. Respect your child’s struggle to do what is right.

4. Remember that we are role models for our kids.

Do not wait until your child comes to you to begin praying and speaking about drug and alcohol use. They are picking up messages about the topic from the time they are toddlers. They witness adults drinking wine at parties, smoking cigars at a celebration, and toasting at holidays.

We all need to find the path we need to be on in order to walk with the Lord. Some Christians may be able to have a glass of wine; some may not. It is not for us to judge others, but we need to be very careful about how our personal

choices may look to our children. As parents we are an example under a microscope to our kids.

“Do what I say, not what I do” is not an effective way of parenting. Our example means more then our words.

5. Remind our children about the responsibility that Christians have to obey the laws of the land.

We have been instructed to follow the laws of the governing society.

“Let every person be subject to the governing authorities.

For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted

by God.” Regardless of the corruption of our governing leaders, we have been instructed

by God to respect the rules. Jesus followed the laws of the land even to his death. Laws themselves have not been effective in deterring young people from drugs; however, when we discuss with our children why God wants us to follow the law, we are giving them the best chance to make fully informed decisions. Penalties for drugs in the legal system can include jail time, fines, loss of driver’s license, and interference with acceptance to college or opportunities for college loans.

6. Know your children’s friends. “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morales.’” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.

Speak with your child’s friends. The company that your teenager chooses is a direct reflection of who they are.

Parenting is a process of layers. We start messages early so we can help our children form the healthiest foundations. Healthy selections in friends come from layers and layers of the right messages to our children. When your child is not choosing the right friends, go back and check your layers! Have you provided your child with Biblical knowledge on a daily basis? Have you built your child’s self esteem in a Christian way? Are you there for your child’s needs before your own? Are you providing a healthy example for your child in the relationships that you have selected? I love the saying, “If you think that being a parent is easy, you are doing it wrong.” Every minute of every day, we are teaching our children somethingwhether it is want we want them to know or not.

If we are instructing our children along the right path, they are more likely to be drawn to the right kind of people. Use your child’s friends as a mirror for seeing your child.

In my position as a school counselor, many parents have come to me to speak about their concerns regarding a friend that their child has that they feel is a “bad influence.” In many situations, the parents of that “bad influence” have been to my office to discuss how they feel the same way about the other student.

7. Remind your child daily how important they are to you and to God. Youth is such a powerful time. Jesus accomplished all that he was sent to do by the time he was 33 years old. God does not need time to accomplish great things. He needs willingness and availability. Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12.

How pleasing to God when a young person commits to Him by making the right choices and setting a good example.

When we remind our children how valuable they are, there decisions will mean more.

Teenagers need to know that their parents love them, and God loves them.

8. Discovering your child has tried drugs or is doing drugs is a gift that many people do not get. The early detection of a drug

problem can help to prevent major life impairments. Many parents do not acknowledge a child’s drug problem until far along in the addiction. Be aware of early warning signs.

According to the D.A.R.E. website, the following are some physical and behavioral signs of drug use: change in sleeping pattern, weight loss

or gain, emotional instability, depression, loss of interest in activities, prescription medication missing, change in friends or clothing attire, or avoiding eye contact. If you discover that your child has been involved in drugs, pray immediately for guidance.

Acknowledge your role in the issue at hand. Speak with your spouse about the situation and come

up with a plan together about how to approach the topic with your child.

Do not attack your child in anger. Drug use is a family problem.

Forgive your child before they ask. Start a conversation from a place of love and concern.

Let your child know that you are concerned and not angry. You do not want to punish but to support. There will be consequences, but they are to keep your child safe. Remind your child that you love them, but you are very worried and disappointed in the choices they have made.

Make an appointment with a family counselor who is familiar with the Bible. “Denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present world.� Titus 2:12.

Our mission is clear, but our path is riddled with obstacles. Keeping in mind that our earthly lives are just a test we take to prepare ourselves for eternity, we need to stay strong in our plight. Our children follow us on our path for only a short amount of time before they branch off to find their own way. When we support our children in developing strong Biblical knowledge and morals, we are protecting them from drugs as well as from other snares thatthey will encounter in life.

By Don Calbreath

Helping Your Child Deal with Divorce

D

ivorce is epidemic in the United States. According to the Center for Disease Control National Survey of Family Growth (2012), the current rate of divorce is roughly 50%. The age range for the highest rate of divorce is 20-24 years old (36.3% of women and 38.8% of men in that age group are divorced. The rates drop markedly in the 25-29 year old range, with 16.4% of women and 22.3% of men being divorced. For older populations, the rates are even lower.

There are no really solid statistics on divorce among Christians, but some data suggest 38-40% for regularly attending church goers as opposed to 60% for nominal attendees. These statistics deal with selfidentified Christians, so there is no good way to validate the degree of Christian commitment among those involved in the surveys. According to a 2008 survey by the Barna Group (a leading source of information about modern church trends), evangelicals and Catholic appear to have the lowest rates of divorce: 26% for evangelicals and 28% for Catholics.

Although the major grounds offered for divorce by the population in general deal with financial issues, failure to communicate, and other incompatibilities, the major causes for many Christian divorces appear to be adultery, abuse (substance, physical, verbal), and abandonment.

Stages of Divorce Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D., was a psychiatrist who wrote the ground-breaking book On Death and Dying in 1969. In this book she outlined five stages that people go through in dealing with grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Her work initially was applied to people facing death, but the concepts she covered soon began to be applied to any situation that involved a loss.

Charles Bryner, M.D. published an important review of the literature dealing with children of divorce in the Journal of the America Board of Family Medicine (2001). Dr. Bryner looked at the emotional stages that children go through as a result of divorce. He followed Kübler-Ross’ five-stage outline and saw the following: 1. Denial: Children just don’t want to accept the fact that their parents are getting a divorce.

After all, these are the people that have fed them, provided shelter and support, and assured the children of their love This situation if often exacerbated by one or both of the parents.

Mom and/or dad are dealing with their own feelings about the situation and frequently put the children’s emotional needs on hold.

If the parents move through the denial stage sooner that the children do, the children can get hung up on this stage for a long period of time.

2. Anger: This stage is accompanied by a great deal of acting-out. The children feel betrayed that their parents would do this to them. No matter who initiates the divorce or what the circumstances are, anger will often be directed toward both parents. When a separation finally occurs and one parent moves out, the anger may then become focused on that parent, since this is the person who seems to be abandoning the marriage.

3. Bargaining: In many instances, the children may get the feeling that the divorce is (at least in part) their fault. “If I had kept my room cleaner or gotten better grades, Mom and Dad wouldn’t be getting a divorce.”

There will be a stage where they try to undo the assumed damage that they believe they have created. The problem comes when they see that their actions had nothing to do with the divorce and they swing back to angry behavior and blaming, at least for a while.

4. Depression: As the reality of the divorce becomes clearer to the child, depression will set in. A real sense of grieving will occur and the child will lose interest in many of the daily

aspects of their lives.

Interest in school will drop off, as will their level of performance.

Quite often the child will be chronically tired and have little energy for much of anything. They may withdraw from friends and family, just wanting to be left alone. They may strive to be overachievers in school or else where, trying to cover the depression they feel.

5. Acceptance: This stage occurs when children have worked through at least most of the issues they have faced. They see the situation with a little more perspective. There may be much less strife at home, both parents may be happier than they were before. However, this acceptance does not always come. Bryner highlights studies that show over half the women and one-third of the men who went through a divorce were still vety angry ten years later. He also points out that the acceptance by the children generally does not come until they are in adolescence or early adulthood. Some of this delayed acceptance may be due to the fact that the parents are still engaged in conflict with one another.

Who Gets the Kids?

Child custody issues are extremely messy, with a great deal of conflict and bitterness on both sides. The U.S Census Bureau published a report in December 2011 looking at the latest custody figures (mainly 2009 with some 2010 data). The overall number of children living in some type of custodial arrangement has not changed significantly since 1994. Approximately 26% (22 million) of the 86 million children in the U.S. under the age of 18 lived with a custodial parent.

Roughly 82% of the custodial parents were the mothers, while over 17% were the fathers of the children. Of the custodial mothers, some 44% were either divorced or separated, while another almost 37% were never married. Custodial mothers who had remarried constituted 18% of this population with another 1% being widowed. Custodial fathers were more likely to have been divorced (some 54%) and less likely never to have been married (about 25%).

The data show that the majority of custody awards are to women. In reading many sites on the internet, it becomes clear that there is a great deal of controversy about why this situation exists. At one time, most women were stay-athome mothers who provided the primary nurturing for the children.

However, in today’s society, that situation is rapidly changing as more women enter the work force, either by choice or the need for a higher family income.

Nonetheless, in most cases, custody is often automatically awarded to the mother. While many fathers will agree to this arrangement (somewhat

grudgingly in many cases), there are a growing number of fathers that will contest the custody situation, either holding out for full custody or at least working to set up a joint custody arrangement.

Child support arrangements often get messy. The Census Bureau study shows that 66% of custodial parents get at least some child support, with 36% receiving all the child support due them either by mutual agreement or court order. What creates a lot of conflict is how that support is spent. Discussion sites on the internet are full of stories on both sides of the issue. Noncustodial parents often have a sense that the money requested is too much or is not being spent strictly on the children. When the custodial parent shows up with a new car or a lot of new clothes, questions will arise. Custodial parents often wonder if the noncustodial parent is being honest about income figures. If the noncustodial parent loses their job (in today’s uncertain economic climate, more men are becoming unemployed or having their jobs reduced), there is the suspicion that the person quit voluntarily to avoid making child support payments.

sexually and become more sexually promiscuous.

Having laid out a rather grim scenario regarding divorce (and hoping that this information will cause some rethinking on the part of couples with marital difficulties), let’s take a look at some ground rules that will at least make the situation less stressful for the kids.

Changes Children will Experience in a Divorce The Purdue University Department of Child Development and Family Studies has a short list that covers the experience of the children of divorce. Some of the changes they will need to deal with include: •less money available for the things needed or for “extras”.

•possibility of having to move to a new home and a new school.

•less energy on the part of the parents (especially the custodial parent).

•loss of contact with one set of grandparents.

•custodial parent made need to get a different job.

•transportation issues become more complicated.

•possible loss of some How does this situation of friends due to moving. custody impact the children?

One 1995 study showed that These factors need to be 25% of children of divorce had included in any consideration not seen their father in the last of how to handle the practical year. Another study showed that aspects of a divorce.

75% of children felt rejected by their fathers ten years after the divorce. Research shows that Issues for Custodial Parent father-daughter relationships •Safety for self and are particularly important. As children – If the divorce is adolescents, these girls are due to abuse, safety is much more likely to act out a primary issue.

Whether the abuse is physical or emotional, both the spouse and the children are at risk. The abusive parent should not be in the home at all.

Police are increasingly aware of abuse issues and can be of great help if needed. Promises of “it will never happen again” turn out to be empty words in the vast majority of cases.

Safety for the children will become critical if the other spouse has begun a new relationship. If a woman enters into a new dating situation, the possibility of sexual abuse of the children is fairly high since the new partner does not have the boundary issues established that a biological parent would.

For men, the abuse by a new female partner will tend to be either physical or emotional.

•Issues of anger – the custodial parent will often be extremely angry at the other spouse (especially

in cases of adultery and abandonment). The tendency will be to disparage the other person and direct a lot of anger toward them.

Depending on the age of the children, they may not understand what the issues are and can become very confused.

They will then either begin to defend the other parent (increasing the anger of the custodial spouse) or take the mother’s side (thus alienating their relationship With the father). As much as possible, try to keep the personal anger and hurt out of the lives of the children. Friends and support groups are much safer places to vent.

A number of churches offer specific and helpful ministries to single-again parents.

•Financial issues – during and after a divorce,

money will be tight.

Depending on the settlement arrangement, the custodial parent may need to look at other health insurance possibilities. If the custodial parent does not work, the income stream will be less than it was when the other spouse was living in the home. Budgeting becomes very important and the amount of spending on the “nice to have” stuff will definitely need to decrease. Since many non-custodial parents are very suspicious about “where does all that money go?”, it helps to be very open about this aspect of the situation. Knowing that the money is truly being spent on the legitimate need of the children will go a long way toward reducing some of the tension between the parents.

Issues for Non-Custodial Parent •Time with the children – whatever the problems with the other spouse, the children should not have to pay the price. The tendency is for the noncustodial spouse to become less and less involved with the children.

Sometimes this is due to interference by the custodial spouse (sudden changes of schedule, “the children have other plans”), but often it is due to inertia and r

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

reluctance to deal with a delicate situation.

The non-custodial parent who caused the divorce (whether due to adultery or abuse) is going to feel very uncomfortable being with children they know they have betrayed.

The anger felt by the kids needs to be faced and dealt with honestly, but not by maligning the custodial parent.

•Money issues – Many non-custodial parents get very testy when it comes to talking about money. Maybe they honestly have no idea what it costs to raise a child and they need to learn about that important aspect of parenting. Maybe they feel the custodial parent is being extravagant. Any communication about money needs to be handled in a non-judgmental way. It is also important that the non-custodial parent not try to “buy” the children with excessive and/or extravagant gifts.

Issues for Both Parents •School – the school needs to know the situation at home. The teachers can be more aware and alert for behavior issues.

Who to contact in case of emergency needs to be established. Signed statements about who is allowed to pick the children up are critical especially in cases of abuse and abandonment or if there is a custody dispute.

•Health Communication – a plan needs to be in place for providing health care coverage for the children. Both parents need information about medical records, family physician, permission to get care for the children, and any other issues that pertain to their care.

•Contact with Friends – this issue gets very sticky for both children and adults. Many families will be reluctant to “choose sides”, so may drop both parents from their social circles. Some families will side with one or the other parent, usually the custodial parent. The children lose out in the end

because they will lose some friends.

•What about Church? – This may be less of an issue on most cases, especially if adultery is involved. The person committing the adultery will most likely move on.

Abusive situations can get more difficult, since the abuser is often in denial about the wrongs they have committed. It is never a good idea to have both parents attend the same church after a divorce. The situation just becomes too difficult to handle for everyone.

Christians need to conduct themselves in a godly way, no matter what the circumstances. Developing solid relationships with other Christians who can be supportive and encouraging is extremely valuable. It is a difficult and challenging road, but keep in mind the word of the apostle Paul: “11Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. 12 I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. 13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13 (NASB) Donald F. Calbreath, Ph.D – retired university chemistry professor who was both a child of divorce and divorced/remarried. He has led single-again groups for both secular and Christian organizations and has done some divorce counseling.

Everything Under the Sun with Plumb

By Lois Loba Website: www.plumbinfo.com Latest Release by Plumb: Need You Now Release Date February 26, 2013 Plumb’s music is available for purchase or download at iTunes and Amazon.com Bio: Throughout her decade plus career as an award-winning songwriter and chart-topping recording artist, Tiffany Arbuckle Lee (a.k.a. PLUMB) has established herself as a multi-faceted musical force.

Even while juggling her role as wife and mom to three, Lee has achieved what many artists only dream to accomplish with a full-time career. With multiple #1 songs and albums in the Christian, Mainstream and the Dance/Club worlds, a successful songwriting career and numerous song placements in movies and television, the past fifteen years have seen PLUMB establish a legacy of remarkable breadth. Now, with the advent of her sixth studio album Need You Now, and hot on the heels of the #1 breakout title-track single, PLUMB reaffirms her place as a respected voice and writer in multiple genres.

Lee’s otherworldly voice has made Plumb a perfect fit in numerous film & TV soundtracks (including Bruce Almighty, Vampire Diaries, and One Tree Hill). Widely embraced in the dance/remix community (including 5 top 5s and 3 #1 Billboard Hot Dance singles for Hang On, Cut, In My Arms, and I Don’t Deserve You), PLUMB has seen recent collaborations with the some of the most elite names in the dance and EDM scenes, including Paul Van Dyk and BT. Faith Filled Family: How did the name “Plumb” make the final cut?

Plumb: It was from a song by Suzanne Vega, who I love, called ‘My Favorite Plum’…the label liked it…we went with it.

Faith Filled Family: Introduce us to the primary members of the musicians who make up the Band and some of their special contributions that make,” Plumb “a great team effort?

Plumb: PLUMB is a girl. Once marketed it as a band…but truthfully it’s always been just a girl. I’m the only one signed and I write the songs so when I moved from my first label to the second it was top priority to not waste any time with marking Plumb as it truly is and always will be…a girl. Me. **When Christ walked the face of this earth he went where the pain was. He did not sugar coat the problem. Christ was always talking to people and saying things that the political powers felt HE should not… an example of courageous love not easily followed, i.e. peer pressure. ***

Faith Filled Family: The music that is written and produced by you is not reserved. The topics are often raw with real life pain. As an example from the album, Chaotic Resolve, track number 6, called “Cut”. It is a song about the troubling growing numbers of “Cutters”, who mutilate their flesh to relieve a very deep indescribable pain.

The pain is so very deep that it hurts less to cut your own flesh there by allowing the greater pain to escape. What has been the response from your fans, parents and/or the Christian community?

Plumb: Thankfulness. Songs about a tough relatable subject matter makes that subject, in this case, self injury, less hidden and more easily talked about. The hope in knowing you are not alone…that there are others just like you, priceless. It’s a tool to create conversation and out of both conversation and relationship, healing can happen.

Faith Filled Family: Your music is like a platform for Hopeful Communication that we all can gather around to begin to recognize the suffering in our very midst, have you found that to be true? Is there an individual success story you could share with us?

Plumb: 100% TRUE. I’m a big believer in the hope of ‘me too’. When you relate to a song, you feel less alone in your circumstance. There’s hope in that. And when you can see beyond that to where your circumstance can have purpose… your perspective changes immensely. You almost welcome the adversity or conflict or pain with something you’re being entrusted with rather burdened by.

The stories are many…but one I can share that’s more recent is in my own life. I went through the darkest hours of my life last year after this record was complete…my husband and I suffered a terrible attack on our marriage and the song, “Need You Now”, met me in a completely different way than when I first wrote it. I needed him like never before and knowing that the song was about how he never grows tired of our need for him and that he truly is with us at all times, never leaves and carries the weight we’re too weak to carry…gave me just the breath I needed to get through to the next hour…next day or week. Hearing, my cry out to him, I was reminded that there are others crying out as well…and that I truly was not alone.

Hope is oxygen. And we all need to breathe.

Faith Filled Family: Your music also has an uncanny

ability to crossover into other genera’s. Why do you think the music has such a wide appeal?

Plumb: I certainly hope and don’t’ think you have to be a Christian to relate to my art. You just have to be human. It’s music about pain and joy, celebration and loss, love and heartbreak; with innate hope throughout…I’m intentional to just write about where I am at or the truth in a circumstance that moves me…its music about real life.

Faith Filled Family: The Title Track for your current release “Need You Now (How Many Times)" was written regarding your suffering of panic/anxiety attacks as a teenager. Please tell us a little about your experience…

Partial Lyrics from “Need You Now (How Many Times) How many times have you heard me cry out?

"God please take this"?

How many times have you given me strength to Just keep breathing?

Oh I need you God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn't plan Wondering how I got to where I am I'm trying to hear that still small voice I'm trying to hear above the noise…..

Plumb: I was 13 when they began. It was years before I related them to anxiety. I just knew I didn’t know what brought them on and when they came it was both a physically excruciating pain as well as socially paralyzing. I was 19 before I went a day without at least one. They have lessened greatly as I have grown up but I still struggle. I don’t think God caused or allowed them as much as I believe we live in a fallen world and in our sorrow he promises to suffer with us and not leave us and use that sorrow to be close to us if we let him and at the same time still giving us the beautiful gift of choice in choosing to let our pain have a purpose or not…its certainly kept me connected to him because doctors certainly couldn’t fix it. However, I can look back and see how God has used it in my life and feel thankful. Joy comes from sorrow and knowing he’ll never leave or forsake us or give us more than we can bear. I use what pain I encounter, it gives me just enough faith to press forward when I feel like giving up. It’s still a very prevalent challenge in my life…it’s only now that I can truly praise God for how it’s shaped me.

Faith Filled Family: When the attacks first startedAGE 13-What were your

symptoms?

Plumb Intense lower stomach cramps often so terrible I truly wanted to die One tangible way that God helped you- Hot baths, many a trip to the restroom and close friends who know how to talk me down from them…

A Bible verse that you would hang onto-

disorders than non-sufferers.

Stat for Generalized Anxiety Disorder: 6.8 million, 3.1%.

Women are twice as likely to be afflicted as men (we believe the number of men who struggle with generalized anxiety is much higher because many don't report it to their doctors). Anxiety Disorders are very likely to co-exist with other disorders.

ISAIAH 41:10 ‘Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God I will strengthen you, Panic Attacks or Anxiety Attacks are real. You are I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous not crazy! Seek help in your area, while there is no right hand. cure as yet there are many treatment options! God is faithful and in our darkest moments He is there One management skill you have learned- To be with us! Consider yourself on our prayer list, for vocal about my feelings and thoughts and concerns as long as it takes. God is available and HE loves and fears. To not bottle them up…because they you, HE will hear you when you call HIS name and only make it worse. Journaling, song writing and stay with you through it all. That is his promise to long talks with Jesus or my husband or a friend is all of us! incredibly helpful. Getting it out…both emotionally Faith Filled Family: Your 1997 Album titled, and spiritually.

“Plumb”, track number three, “Unforgiveable”.

Faith Filled Family: How this adversity has made The last verse is such an embodiment of John you stronger?

3:16. The lyrics are impressive for either victim or Plumb: It’s allowed me to trust God more and perpetrator; there is a forgiveness that is limitless have less fear. I didn’t die. I’m still here breathing for miraculous change in one’s life. in and out. God is using it to help others…so I embrace it verses the resistance I felt years ago. “No matter what I've done He has never left me and the confidence I have in Or is done to me him through it all is exponential. I still get scared Nothing's unforgivable every time…because it hurts. I’m not gonna lie.

Or unable to be set free. No matter what I've done A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear Or is done to me that triggers severe physical reactions when there Nothing's unforgivable is no real danger or apparent cause. Panic attacks Or unable to be set free.” can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you might think you're losing control, having a Faith Filled Family: What led up to the moment heart attack or even dying. that led you to give your life over to Christ, to Anxiety Disorders affect 18.1 percent of adults in become a Christian? How old were you? What the United States (approximately 40 million adults were your prevailing thoughts in that moment? between the ages of 18 to 54).According to "The What moved your soul?

Economic Burden of Anxiety Disorders," a study Plumb: I was scared of going to hell when I was commissioned by the ADAA and based on data 8 at Vacation Bible School (VBS) one summer. gathered by the association and published in the Ha, but it was at 16 at church camp where I better Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, anxiety disorders understood the privilege of a relationship with him cost the U.S. more than $42 billion a year, almost and him always being with me and loving him. But one third of the $148 billion total mental health bill I don’t think I had a healthy fear and respect of for the U.S. More than $22.84 billion of those costs him till I was in my 20’s after I met my husband. are associated with the repeated use of healthcare I grew up a bit scared of God. So, I think some services, as those with anxiety disorders seek of that unnecessary fear was a contributor to my relief for symptoms that mimic physical illnesses. mental and physical health. It was in realizing how People with an anxiety disorder are three-to- much he loved me and that he felt that way about five times more likely to go to the doctor and six me no matter what that gave me more a sense of times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric freedom in him to become more of who I thought

he wanted me to be. But in this past year I think is when I fell ‘in love’ with Jesus for the real 1st time.

I had never needed him quite like I did when my husband and I went through our marital crisis… and he was so good…so faithful…that I developed a romantic love for him. It’s a testament to how our spiritual journey is just that…a journey. We never ‘arrive’…until death of course. It’s a constant living breathing thing being saved from ourselves and each of us with new mercies and 2nd chances and buckets full of grace and mercy and hope to feed us on the path. I am more excited now than I have ever been to see where the next season will take me…trusting it’s even deeper into him. I love him.

Faith Filled Family: Your album “Blink” released in 2007 is a totally different type of music, an album of lullabies. The album is a favorite at Baby Showers. I am told it is a must have item. I really enjoyed track number 1, “My sweet, My Lovely”.

Tell us about one unexpected facet of being a parent, something you did not expect.

Plumb: I didn’t realize how selfish I was. I am selfish. God helps me every day.

Faith Filled Family: What is one thing each child has taught you about what really matters in this life?

Child #1 Solomon… patience and wisdom.

Child #2 Oliver…living fully alive.

Child #3 Clementine… how to love myself.

Plumb: They are gifts!

Gifts that at times…many times…have saved my life.

Faith Filled Family: In an interview for TitleTrakk. com you stated that your music began as a “hobby” a profession that you did not intend to join. What were the circumstances that God’s direction took you towards the profession of music? How did the music “find” you?

Plumb: I was invited to sing back up for a band…

and that led to opportunity after opportunity…

Faith Filled Family: What direction did you believe your life would have followed before God’s will for your life became clearly evident?

Plumb: Wife, Mother, Nurse.

Faith Filled Family: The lyrics of your music are bull’s eye to the heart of those who suffer the anguish you describe. Tell us how about the very first song that you wrote. How did the process allow you to realize that you had a God given talent for song writing as well as singing?

Plumb: I think it was quite a few songs in that I saw that I had a gift…when my producer was affirming of my ideas and I saw fans responses. I did feel more confident that this was exactly what I was created to do.

Faith Filled Family: Tell us about a favorite standard Hymn that speaks directly to your heart, and why?

Plumb: “Because He Lives.” It’s a song of total and complete hope. ‘because he lives…I can face tomorrow…because he lives…all fear is gone… because I know….he holds the future…and life is worth the living… just because he lives.’ I needed that song in my dark hours…and I need it still.

Faith Filled Family: God has given you fullness in your life, Christian, Singer, Songwriter, Wife, and Mother of three.

What is one thing you do everyday to keep it all in perspective?

Plumb: I pray, and I thank God every single day for what he has done, will do and is doing. and I try to enjoy my life…not let it pass me by…that can be hard when you have 3 little ones…but writing songs about moments and perspective and the journey helps to almost freeze time like a picture…and that’s been special to me as a writer to capture both on paper and on record

this beautiful thing called, my life…

long closed window. This is music that can and will produce communication between many, includFaith Filled Family: I read a statement that you ing the generations to bridge that ever growing are pretty good with Lego’s. Please, tell us about abyss. For as Ecclesiastes 1:9 states, “What has one funny Lego building event. been will be again, what has been done will be Plumb: I have an 8 year old son and a 6 year done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” old son; if I’m not good at Lego’s…I’m in trouble! The challenges we encounter in life are not going I’m the one that sorts the colors as we turn each away any time soon. It is what we do with our page on what the project needs next…so I’m par- resources to meet these challenges and changes ticipating and right there in the moment but allow- that is the action that matters for all of eternity. ing them the sense of satisfaction of being the one Our only true resource is Christ himself for it is who truly builds it…if I make up a funny Lego thing through him that we can abide in places above they usually cheer me on…or make fun. one or the the sun. This is music that can dissolve those other. Ha. cloudy closeted cataracts and maybe produce Faith Filled Family: Besides being home, where more than just safe conversation by fostering a is one place you have traveled to that you really sense of truthful relevance to the daily struggle enjoyed? around us in an example set by Christ himself, Plumb: Berlin. It was recently that my husband lovingly courageous. and I went there for a performance where I sang Plumb: It was my privilege. Thank you! ~ with Paul Van Dyk. Not only was the show a wonderful energetic experience with a demographic PLUMB For the Readersmore diverse than I am used to, which is beautiful, my husband and I had an absolutely wonder- Here is a fun challenge. Plan a generational family ful time making a new memory there…something dinner, and while you are cooking together, listen we needed this Christmas as it was the previous to music by PLUMB, discuss the lyrics and then year where we hit rock bottom. So it was very ask each other for an opinion or a thought…you redemptive to walk through the Christmas villages just never know what you may share in common. holding hands and making a new memory being It is on my “To Do” list. somewhere neither of us had ever been…and the Ciao! May God Bless Thee, Always people were lovely.

Faith Filled Family: Last question is What are a few of your favorites?

Plumb: Favorite Biblical Hero- Ruth and James…I’m such a fan of both A more current Hero/Heroine or Mentor- In fashion, Audrey Hepburn, in life, my co-writer of “Need You Now”, Christa Wells. Her balance of faith, marriage, family, career and self is simple, peaceful and so beautiful…she’d deny it, but God has given her a countenance to inspire.

An activity that you do just for the fun of it- Pressure washing! I love it. I love to pressure wash. It’s productive and mindless and you get to see immediate results. It’s so clean and summery. I know its weird, but I love it. I need to buy one now that I think of it and quit borrowing my dad’s. Ha. A favorite food - Black Licorice…or is that a candy?

Faith Filled Family: Thank you very much for taking the time to participate in this interview with us. Your music is like a breath of fresh air through a

the journey of ted swartz

By Jessica Price

Ted Swartz, Class Actor and Author Whether as a meat cutter or an accomplished actor and author, Ted Swartz has attempted to live his life with integrity. He opens up to Faith Filled Family about his journey.

Ted Swartz has worn many hats over the course of his life. He worked in his family’s meat cutting business during his twenties. When he felt that he was called to be a Mennonite pastor in his early thirties, he began seminary school. After quickly figuring out that being a pastor was a wonderful calling… but not his calling, Mr. Swartz found where his “soul fit.”. He was a Mennonite born to be an actor. At the time he realized this, it may have been easier for him to have been born a fish destined to be a marathon runner. Convincing the Mennonite community that acting could be used as a way to pull closer to God was no easy task. Through tireless and, at times, hysterically funny efforTed Swartz, Ted established himself as a Christian celebrity through his performances and the creation of The Ted and Lee Company, a theatrical production company that he built with his business and acting partner Lee Eshleman. Lee and Ted toured the country, writing and performing. They gave people the chance to connect to Scripture through laughter. Their shared love for God and humor in life drew people in to their performances and their personas. In 2007, just when Ted assumed that he was settled on the appropriate path, tragedy struck. His best friend and collaborating partner Lee Eshleman committed suicide.

Laughter is Sacred Space- The Not-So-Typical Journey of a Mennonite Actor is Ted’s honest story of hope and healing. Ted spoke with me over the phone in the midst of his Canadian Tour. Ted’s book and subsequent performances (or as he describes them, “conversations”) of Laughter is Sacred Space have provided him and others with a new type of forum in which to connect. As Ted shares his story, his readers and audience are given an opportunity to fill in their own holes that may have been left by

a loss or tragedy they have experienced. Ted reminds us that laughter should not be limited to the happiest times in life. Laughter iTed Swartzelf is sacred. It can be used as a powerful tool for growth during even the most difficult momenTed Swartz. Ted talks to us about his book, his love for acting, and his favorite curse word (almost).

Faith Filled Family- The first half of your book Laughter is Sacred Space focuses on your experience of growing up Mennonite. How do you feel that your religious background has helped, or at times, hurt your creative process?

Ted Swartz- Acting was misinterpreted (in the Mennonite culture), in my opinion, as disabling and lying.

When you pretend to be someone else, it is dishonest. I think that theater is a metaphor for faith, and that is tied to my upbringing. The best actors are the ones who are fully present in the moment. I call that the “Theology of the Now.” Good acting is truth telling. It is not dissembling or lying but telling the truth in a way that is more profound than anything else. Vulnerability and empathy are big parTed Swartz of acting and huge parTed Swartz of Mennonite theology. To walk in someone else’s shoes and to love your neighbor as yourself are profound pieces of what we grew up with (as Mennonites). I think those ideas are also what makes a good actor. In that sense (my religious background) is helpful.

I think now, at my age, I draw much of the positive. I was 36 when I said, “You know what I think I am, an actor!” I had a 9-year-old, a 7-year-old, a 5-year-old, and a church that was starting to open up to what theater had to offer. I would much rather live in a community and push the edges out a little.

Faith Filled Family- Have you been approached by young Mennonites who have credited you and Lee with paving the way for them to pursue their passion for the arTed Swartz?

Ted Swartz- Yes. That is the thing that is always humbling and exciting to hear. Young Mennonites are now saying, “We do not have to leave (the community) to pursue the arTed Swartz.” They can stay within this community that has so many benefits. Ted Swartz for them, and to which they feel so strongly tied. There is a way to do this (combine theater and Mennonite culture). That is really profound, humbling, and very pleasing. You reach a certain age, and you ask what have you left behind. There is a whole generation of Mennonites who have always known that we (the Ted and Lee Company) were there. That is bizarre to me!

Faith Filled Family- In your book, you spoke very honestly about your relationship with God after Lee’s death. How would you say your relationship with God is now?

Ted Swartz- I think intentionality would have been and could be a good thing for that kind of relationship building. I have equated my relationship to a creative God to the work I do in art. We are called to be co-creators in an ongoing creative process. The greatest pronouncement of my distance from God would have been to say, “I am not going to do theater anymore. You did not take care of me when I thought I needed it the most. I am going to stop doing this.” That is what continues to draw me back.

The easiest answer to that question is that God and I are still working that out.

Faith Filled Family- What do you do to pull closer to God at times when you feel that disconnect?

Ted Swartz- I continue to work in the as Ted Swartz. I continue to connect to people who share the same struggles. I continue to be vulnerable about my experiences. That draws me closer. I wish I could say that there is a lot of meditation and anguished prayer going on, but for me, it is simply about getting back on stage and connecting to people.

Faith Filled Family- Is there anything you learned about yourself or your relationship with Lee as you were working on Laughter is Sacred Space?

Ted Swartz- Mourning is an act. It is something that you intend to do, and you should do in whatever form that takes for you. That is why certain traditions have a time for mourning. They say - this is your time to be doing this. Grief is different because you never know how it is going to come up and hit you.

I call it a shape shifter. I made the decision to not go into a period of mourning. It is like taking a piece of meat, throwing it behind a couch, and hoping that no one notices. Without the opportunity to write and perform, I think I would have had an even more significant breakdown. One of the things that I did when Lee died was that I threw myself into the next project. I threw myself into the next project for four years. I wrote constantly for 4 years. I think that psychologist Ted Swartz would say, “Well, it is obvious what you are doing.” That would be true.

I have discovered the most, post publication of the book, through doing the live show. (Ted is currently touring and performing “Laughter is Sacred Space”). I think that is how I experience art. I believe that a piece of theater is not art until people react to it. There is an alchemy that has to happen. So for me, what I continue to discover is in the play iTed Swartzelf. I have found more healing and a calmness about the suicide since September than I have in the years before. It is because of doing the live show in response to the book. It is having people read the book and respond to it (that allows me to discover the most).

Faith Filled Family- People who suffer through the loss of a loved one do not always feel that they have an opportunity to speak openly and honestly about that individual. Do you feel that your opportunity to speak openly about Lee has helped you to heal?

Ted Swartz- Absolutely. My mind goes back to the story that I tell in my book. Right out of high school, we lost a classmate (in an automobile accident). All of the adulTed Swartz were sitting around [talking] in hushed tones not knowing what to say. The kids were talking about their friend. That is where the parent Ted Swartz wanted to be. It (Laughter is Sacred Space and the live performance of it) gives people a way to grieve that they could not before. When Lee died, there were thousands of people across the country who lost someone they knew. They did not have any way to express that grief. I think it gives people a way to bring some closure to things. It gives them a chance to express their own grief, not just about Lee, but about other things as well.

Faith Filled Family- You have mentioned in interviews the importance of living in the moment, both on stage and in life. Recently, on your website www.TedandCompany.com, you were very hard on yourself about not truly living according to this principal. How do you think it is possible for people to live in the moment?

Ted Swartz- I am still working on it. The capitalistic system is based on increasing peoples’ wants. The way that you increase peoples’ wants is to tell them that they do not have everything. We are constantly bombarded by our inability to be satisfied. There is a greater need in the world, and it is to be connected to people. I am really good at being present on the road. My biggest challenge is how do I do that at home? If we make a list of our most important things, it would hopefully include community, companionship, relationships, and all of those higher things. We need to be aware. I think art can help us. Cell phones, smart phones, and things like that continue to push us away from relationships with people. Technology has it good and bad. Instead of being right with someone

in the moment, the internet has given us the opportunity to be connected to the world. That is very seductive. It is a constant struggle for me (to live in the moment). If I say it constantly enough or publicly enough then I will actually feel guilty and remember what I say.

Faith Filled Family- When you worked as a meat cutter for years before finding what you were meant to do, how did you make the most out of that experience?

Ted Swartz- My dad gave me responsibilities at 15 and 16 within the meat market. That was really profound for me to learn the identity of someone who was responsible. I was learning a skill. So many people do not have that opportunity.

Faith Filled Family- You have been a stage actor for over 20 years. How have responses from people to your book been different from the responses that you have received from being an actor?

Ted Swartz- Writing a book, you are in essence writing for one. When you do a stage show, you are creating an identity with a group of people. Stage is the act of taking all your clothes off. The book can be very vulnerable, but I do not think that anything quite matches the stage vulnerability. The book does not have the immediate gratification or the immediate fear that the stage brings.

Faith Filled Family- Do you still experience stage fright before you perform?

Ted Swartz- Lee had a lot more anxiety than I did. It might be as simple as, who is the extrovert and who is the introvert? Who needs more energy to be in front of people, and who get energy by being in front of people? I gain energy by being in front of people because I am a classic extrovert. For an introvert, it is draining and anxieties are high.

Faith Filled Family- You wrote that when you and Lee laughed at something you were working on together, you knew it was funny. How have you found the humor in things since Lee’s death?

Ted Swartz- I have a pretty good sense of what is funny. Lee was so integral in expanding and developing how to take those things that were funny. It is not as if I discovered I was funny when I met Lee. I already knew that. (Laughs) Lee would say the same thing (about himself). That was what was so nice about meeting and discovering each other. I know that I am funny, and I know that you are funny. What can we do together? That was what was so beautiful about it.

Faith Filled Family- Do you offer any advice for individuals who have a loved one who is suffering from depression?

Ted Swartz- You can not take complete responsibility for someone else’s mental health. There are some days when there is nothing that you can do. It is not your fault. You need to find pieces of yourself outside of that (your loved one’s depression). Lee’s wife would say, “Today, it can’t be about you.”

There are other things that are going to happen. Life is going to go on. I did not say it quite so upfront.

I would say, “Okay, we have a show. We have something to write.” Lee might have been even better without the depression and the illness, but he was pretty darn good. My advice is that you need to make sure that your life has fulfillment. Everyday can not be about that (your loved one’s depression).

That is hard sometimes.

Faith Filled Family- Do you have plans to write another book?

Ted Swartz- I think there is something coming. I have some ideas and thoughts. I will probably wait and be surprised. I do not know what it is yet.

Faith Filled Family- I have 5 quick answer questions. I borrowed the idea from James Lipton.

Ted Swartz- You did not ask me my favorite curse word, right? (Laughs) Faith Filled Family- No. (laughing) I left that question out due to the nature of the publication that we are interviewing for, but you are welcome to share that with me.

Ted Swartz- (Laughs) Faith Filled Family- What is your favorite Bible verse?

Ted Swartz- I like the passage from Micah, “And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8) I also love Colosians 3:23, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”

Faith Filled Family- When or where do you feel most connected to God? Ted Swartz- I feel most connected on stage and in the process of writing and creating art together.

That brings me the closest. I feel a connection to the Creator, and I feel a connection to the community.

Faith Filled Family- What is a decision that you have made that you think God would be proud of you for making?

Ted Swartz- That I keep going.

Faith Filled Family- What is one prayer request that you can share with us that you have made through the years?

Ted Swartz- Before I talk I pray, “What do these people need? How can I help them find it? How can I get out of the way?”

Faith Filled Family- When you get to meet God, what do you hope that He has to say about your life?

Ted Swartz- “Well, wasn’t that fun.”

A book review of Laughter is Sacred Space, the Not-So-Typical Journey of a Mennonite Actor is included in this edition of “Faith Filled Family.” To find out more about Ted’s performances and how you can see him live, please visit his website at www.tedandcompany.com.

Please God, Hear Me Now!

By Don Ford

W

e need Justice and Redemption. The Creator of this Universe is just such a God. While the world goes merrily on its way, preaching God is LUV, they seek a god of their own making. Crafting a mouth and eyes and ears on a statue do not breath life into it, so that it hears our cries, sees our misfortunes, and speaks to our deliverance for life’s trials and adversities. We need a God who is touched by our infirmities and who will come and remain at our sides at all times. Such a God - I seek. The God of the Heavens is just such a God and in times of trouble he is a present HELP. I called to Him and he came!

Let’s get down and practical and if you have ears to hear my story, listen closely while I share it. Find comfort in difficult times, not in your own self, but in ONE who is much greater than any of us could possibly imagine.

It was the week before Christmas and my wife and I were newly married. WE both had a faith in an unseen God who had never before let us down. I had just lost a job due to a plant closing. Did my God turn his back on me? Certainly not and we remembered him also in that we prayed for help, that God would make a way where there was NO Way! I’m a sewing machine mechanic of 40 plus years and consider myself one of the best. My wife suggested we ask God to open doors for repair work for me during this time - the week before Christmas. In my own mind I couldn’t see how God could fix our situation. We prayed anyway, asking God to provide the money we needed at this difficult time in our lives.

Then the phone rang and it was Jamestown Royal, an upholstery firm in our city. The owner was on the line and wanted to know if I would be interested in repairing 17 of their heavy duty industrial sewing machines, during the week before the holiday as his workers were off on break during this time.

Talk about God hearing us and providing a table in the wilderness, so to speak, our God heard and answered RIGHT AWAY!!! Tell me you would deny that God is real in my life. You might call it a crazy fluke, but we both knew better. It’s the fool, we are told, that has said that there is no God. He is our Creator so I see no reason on this Good Earth why he wouldn’t come to help his creation - us!

Humility plays a part as we both CRIED out to our God for help and deliverance and he sent it in LIKE KIND. Why would anyone be ashamed to ask their Creator for help in this world he designed for us all to live in? Are we afraid that if we call upon God in our distresses in life that he might just be there for us? Is that a Bad thing?

Christian Camp and Conference Association

By Jan O’Kane

Gregg Hunter CEO/President Christian Camp and Conference Association. www.ccca.org Faith Filled Family: Mr. Hunter, can you give us some of your background?

Gregg Hunter: When I was 17, I was a struggling teenager with a chip on my shoulder, heading down the wrong path. A youth leader offered me the chance to go to camp, and a kind woman paid my way in exchange for pulling some weeds in her garden. My life was forever changed at camp.

Now I’m honored to lead Christian Camp and Conference Association. We provide resources for camps across the nation, and help raise funds for scholarship opportunities for kids like I was, who could never afford the cost of camp on their own.

Faith Filled Family: Can you tell us how you came to be involved with Christian Camp and Conference Association?

Gregg Hunter: I was serving as a vice president of a non-profit in Atlanta when I received the announcement of the search for a new president of CCCA. Because of my personal camp experience and my belief in the power of camp to impact lives, I pursued the position and have been CCCA president since November 2009.

Faith Filled Family: Can you tell us about the goals and mission of the CCCA? Gregg Hunter: CCCA’s mission is to maximize ministry for member camps and conference centers.

That means we provide the leaders of member organizations with resources, encouragement and training that will help them foster God’s work in their guest’s lives. We want to help them improve in areas that need to be strengthened, and to get

even better in things they already do well – all for the purpose of introducing their guests to Jesus Christ and helping them grow in their faith.

Faith Filled Family: Can you explain how large or how many members there are in the CCCA? Gregg Hunter: Currently the CCCA serves over 830 camps across the country, of all shapes, sizes and denominations.

Faith Filled Family: I noticed in the web site www.ccca.org that you have values that are very strong in the organization. Can you tell us how you initiate these values into the camp life?

Gregg Hunter: The values on our website communicate to members and non-members who we are, what we think is important, and what guides the way we serve. CCCA’s values inform every interaction with members, who may call with questions, or seeking advice or making suggestions. In this way, our values flow over to our members and perhaps impact their service to their guests.

Faith Filled Family: Mr. Hunter, again reviewing your web site, I see you have educational resources for your members. Can you tell us what these resources cover?

Gregg Hunter: Once a camp becomes a member of our organization, we try to give them all the education and resources they need – including (but not limited to) help with staffing, marketing, food service, guest services, programming, ministry support, prayer support. And we deliver the information in the form of publications, conferences, regional gatherings and online training.

Faith Filled Family: Among the educational resources I noted the focus series. Can you tell us about this feature?

Gregg Hunter: These are four-page documents that deliver insights on key issues facing camp leaders, summer staff, the parents of campers, donors, church supporters and others. We have about 20 titles available that cover everything from survival guides for new counselors to

counseling at-risk youth, to the values of Christian camping. These resources are available for purchase on our website, to both member camps and non-member camps.

Faith Filled Family: I can see from your web site that communication is very important to the CCCA. I noted the InSite Magazine, Thursday e-mail newsletter, Kindling Blog and Marketing Plan in a Box. Much of this information pertains to camp administration. Is there information that for to the parents or the campers?

Gregg Hunter: CCCA itself is an organization that not only helps camps and the camp at staff, but we also want to help families as well. Our http://www. thepowerofcamp.com website has a lot resources for parents and families including a camp finder and job finder.

Faith Filled Family: Again looking at the web site, it denotes wide spread coverage. Your site covers worldwide affiliations. Can you expand on this outstanding ministry?

Gregg Hunter: Christian Camp and Conference Association serves exclusively camps in the US, but we work with and support the worldwide movement of Christian camping.

CCCA is a member of an association that includes organizations like ours in 20 countries called Christian Camping International – Worldwide. I

participate in a worldwide summit hosted by this group every several years, to share information and encouragement with other Christian camping leaders around the world. We truly believe in the life-changing ministry that is camping, anywhere around the globe.

Faith Filled Family: Has the ministry been effective in its impact the campers lives?

Gregg Hunter: The short answer is yes, absolutely, the ministry of camping changes lives. Some of our members report that between 33 and 40 percent of campers in a summer make a first-time decision to follow Jesus Christ. Others report that 60 percent of campers decide to commit themselves to Jesus or to rededicate their lives to Him. The power of camp to change lives is undeniable, and it is built upon temporary community and the power of being exposed to, and immersed in, nature.

When teenagers in particular -- but really, people of all ages – pull away from their daily routine and surroundings, they leave behind the expectations of others, the pressure to be something they are not, temptations and habits that may be harmful to them. At camp, in temporary community, they actually have time and freedom to consider their future – without all the “noise” of their life back home – and at Christian camps, to learn about a God who loves them and offers a relationship with them, now and throughout eternity.

Faith Filled Family: What are the age groups of the campers?

Gregg Hunter: Our camps literally serve people of all ages. Some think of camping being strictly in the summer for teenagers, but that is so far from accurate. Many of our camps and conference centers have opportunities year-round for families, men’s groups, women’s groups and are happy to serve guests of all generations.

Faith Filled Family: Is there anything in particular that you would want our readers to know about your organization?

Gregg Hunter: Please follow us on Facebook and Twitter for information on the importance of camping. We hope that every child, no matter what their situation, gets to have the best week of their life at camp. If you would like to help support sending an underprivileged child to camp, please donate to our Corners of the Field campaign. https://www.ccca.org/public/donate/corners.asp Going to camp changed my life. I believe that Christian camping is critical to the health of the global Church in the coming years. It’s a place where faith is begun and fostered, unlike any other venue, location or ministry in the world. We believe we can raise up the next generation of Christian leaders at camps across the country.

Book Review:

By Jessica Price

Laughter is Sacred Space- The Not-So-Typical Journey of a Mennonite Actor Written by Ted Swartz Herald Press-Harrisonburg Virginia/ Waterloo, Ontario Copyright 2012 ISBN # 978-0-8361-9559-0 On sale at Amazon.com $16.49 (5 star reviews) In association with Ted & Co.- www.tedandcompany.com/shows/laughter-and-lament/ Copy of Laughter is Sacred Space was provided for review, at no cost, by FrontGate Media (www. frontgatemedia.com) Laughter is Sacred Space - The Not-So-Typical Journey of a Mennonite Actor is, as it promises, an anything but typical story. Ted Swartz writes his first book, an autobiographical account of his life as a Mennonite actor, as a tribute to more then just his craft and his beliefs. He reveals the details of the depression that his best friend and business partner Lee Eshleman struggled with for years. The two men built a surprisingly successful “Church drama” theatrical company appropriately named the Ted and Lee Company. From 1997-2007, Ted and Lee wrote plays and traveled the country performing. They found laughter in between the verses of the Bible. Their artistic interpretation of Scripture gave their audience a chance to connect with God’s message in a unique way. Against all odds, the Ted and Lee Company established themselves in the Mennonite community. At the

point when all their hard work was finally paying off, Lee committed suicide. The trauma that overcame Ted as a result of his friend’s death is tangible in his writing. Ted’s book is a tribute to one life cut short and another life temporarily shattered as a result. Ted battled to keep his company afloat as he came to terms with the death of his business partner and best friend. Ted was no longer a half of the Ted and Lee Company. He was left on his own with a creation that needed its two designers. Ted made the choice to keep going. Though Ted was unable to directly confront his pain for a long time after Lee’s death, he found healing in his play writing. Ted Swartz writes in a down-to-earth tone that allows readers to connect with his struggles and successes. If he has an ego, he hides it well in his writing. He reveals himself intimately in such a way that you will feel as if he has been a friend for years. You may not have had a book about a Mennonite actor on your “top ten list” to read this year, but you will not regret getting to know Ted Swartz.

Mr. Swartz relates short tales from childhood at the beginning of the book. While it is entertaining to hear Ted’s view of growing up Mennonite, there is disconnect between the first and second halves of his work. After reading about Ted’s experiences as a Mennonite, it is surprising that he remained so connected to his community and beliefs. In his accounts from childhood, one feels that he was a round peg in a square hole. He attempted to express himself at times, but that type of expression was not encouraged in the Mennonite religion. The reasons that Ted stayed tied to his Mennonite culture remain unanswered throughout the book. (Read the interview with Mr. Swartz for more insight). As unlikely as it may seem after his depiction of his childhood, his search for his “calling” led him to begin training to be a pastor in the Mennonite church. Ted took an acting class at a nearby college while in school to be a pastor. Even though it was clear that Ted should not become a pastor, it took the experience from his acting class to pull him off that course. Just as he struggled with the question, “Is it possible to fail a calling?” he came to terms with the fact that being a pastor was not the calling for him.

From that point forward, he knew that he was born to be an actor.

The main premise of the book begins when fate??? brought Ted into contact with Lee early on in his acting career. The men had an instant connection even though there were differences in age and personality. Ted was married with children while Lee was single when they met. Lee would go on to marry later in life. Lee was subject to the inconsistencies and insecurities brought about by his depression.

Ted fought to maintain the stability of the duo. They both made each other laugh, and they turned that into something much larger. They respected each other in spite of their differences. Their first fulllength show, “Ted and Lee Live: The Armadillo Tour,” came to be during the summer of 1992. They went on to write 6 full-length plays in total. The characters that Lee and Ted created jump off the pages as Ted recalls them in his book. From their first production to their final act, it is clear that Ted and Lee shared an appreciation for their performances, not only because of what they brought to others, but also because of the joy that performing brought to them.

Readers are made aware of Lee’s death from the start of the book. Even though it is not a surprise, it is no less shocking. With the opportunity to get to know Lee through this account, it is painful to experience his death. There are many questions that readers will be left with that Ted does not attempt to answer. It allows us to focus on the main point. There was a man who made people laugh with his talent and charisma. He will be greatly missed by many, especially Ted Swartz.

I had no intentions of connecting with this book. Against my initial bias, the message behind this book is sticking with me. Ted Swartz’s vulnerable and honest account of his life will give you a chance to connect to him. In his choice to walk down the road less traveled in his own life, Ted empowers us to do the same. In his unpretentious accounts of his relationship with God, Ted challenges us to find our own relationship with Him. In his healing from the loss of his best friend, Ted allows us to heal with him.

My Opinion - 5 stars (out of a possible 5 stars) Mr. Swartz’s book will bring you something that you do not expect. There is great value in the surprise.

For more about Ted Swartz and his book Laughter is a Sacred Space, please read the interview with Ted in this edition of Faith Filled Family.