FAMILY Magazine February 2016 by FAMILY Magazines of Michiana

February 2016 • Moms Just Know • Free

healthy hearts For The

Whole Family

Baby Blues

Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Your Kids Strengthen Your Marriage Muscle

Serving: Granger • Mishawaka • Elkhart • South Bend • Goshen • Niles Edwardsburg • Middlebury & Surrounding Communities

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Sue Heinrich Sue@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com Managing Editor: Jessica Haviland

Jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

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Amanda Oiler Amanda@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

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Zuzanna@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

Medical Editor: S. Jesse Hsieh, M.D. Distribution ManagerS: Leah Elick Family Magazines of Michiana would love to hear from you! Please submit press releases, event information and inquiries to: Jessy@Michianafamilymagazine.com The FAMILY Magazines P.O. Box 577 Granger, IN 46530 PH: 574.387.5420 â&#x20AC;˘ FX: 574.217.4700 www.MichianaMom.com The FAMILY Magazines February 2016 Established in 2006. All rights reserved. Permission from the publisher is required for any reproduction or reprint of this publication. Read The FAMILY Magazines online each month! Go to www.MichianaMom.com and flip the pages, cover-to-cover the organic and green way! Volume 10: Number 1

On the Cover:

Find the Hidden Acorn!

Nick & Halie Ebenroth AND Starring Miss Kendalyn Ebenroth of Elkhart

For your enjoyment and fun!

TheFamilyMagazineOfMichiana

Ann Reiff is one of Michianaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Premiere Real Life

Photographers. Her heart and soul define her style, as she is able to capture the moments we wish to always remember. Ann shoots all varieties of sessions at her studio in Southwest Michigan and also loves doing shoots on location. Contact her at: www.studio513east.com ann@studio513east.com 269-228-0373

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@FamilyMagazines FamilyMagazine TheFamilyMag www.MichianaMom.com Please use the information compiled by Michiana Family Magazines for your research. Michiana Family Magazines recommends that parents and families interview each business or organization to make sure that it is safe and a good fit for your family. The information presented here and provided by Michiana Family Magazines is for informational purposes only and although every effort has been made to present accurate information, Michiana Family Magazines does not, in any way, accept responsibility for the accuracy of or consequences from the use of this information and/or for the businesses and organizations presented herein. We urge all parents and families to confirm any information given herein through additional research. The views and opinions expressed by the writers, event organizers and advertisers do not necessarily represent those of Michiana Family Magazines LLC, its officers, editors, staff or contributors. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY Y 2016

F R O M T H E P U B LI S HER

Things We

Love

(at FAMILY)

With this issue of FAMILY we are

Photography: Ann Reiff

kicking off a new era. Betsy Tavernier, the founder of the Michiana Family Magazines, after 10 years, decided to step down as publisher and sell the magazines’ assets in order to spend more time with her family. She created three amazing magazines with a total readership of over 75,000 loyal followers. Quite an accomplishment!

Let me introduce myself. My name is Sue Heinrich and I am the new owner and publisher. I am really excited to take on this new challenge. Betsy set a high standard of excellence which I intend to maintain. Over time, I hope to expand in a few areas, but for now, we will keep things pretty much the same. Fortunately for me, all three staff members, Amanda, Jessy and Zuzi, have agreed to stay on and continue with the magazines. With their knowledge and expertise, we have been able to continue publishing without skipping a beat, nor an issue. As we move forward, I would love to hear from you. If you have suggestions for content or changes you would like to see, please let me hear from you.

Right Now!

1. New Beginnings 2. Candy Hearts 3. First Crushes 4. Chocolate 5. Flowers 6. Heated Blankets 7. Pregnancy Pillows 8. Planning Spring Break Trip 9. Heart Health 10. Special Date Nights 11. Puppy Kisses 12. De-Cluttered Home

It is February already which means Valentine’s Day. In this issue, you will find 14 Fun Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Your Kids as well as an article on Strengthening your Marriage Muscle. And, since chocolate is a popular Valentine’s Day gift, we have chocolate for you in the form of a recipe for Chocolate Fondue. It is also Heart Month so you will also find an article on Healthy Hearts for the whole Family. I hope you enjoy this issue of FAMILY and I wish you a very happy Valentine’s Day filled with fun, romance and chocolate! Sue Heinrich

13. Baby Giggles 14. Crockpots

Check it Out!

Don’t forget to pick up your copy of the NEW SASSY & Boom Mag azine!

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2016

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4Keeps

By: Casey Kiel

Like '4Keeps' on Facebook or visit CaseyKiel.com

FAMILY contributors

Meagan Church is married to her high-school sweetheart and is the mother of 3 kids. She is a writer and childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book author. She is also the brainpower of the online resource Unexpectant, exploring the realities of birth, babies and beyond.

Noelle Elliott works in publicity. She is a writer and has been published on several websites and print publictaions. She is the owner and creator of the esteemed bowchicabowmom.com where she humorously shares the triumphs and failures of raising her four young sons. She is also the creator of the succesful local staged production, The Mamalogues. She happily lives in South Bend.

Jill Lebbin is a wife, mother, craft fanatic and DIY blogger at www.EveryDayisan Occasion.com. She and her husband Marcel have been married for five years and love living in Granger with their two spunky kids, Marcel Jr. and Lilly.

Lara West completed her degree in Elementary Education and has spent the last several years working as a ghost writer, completing manuscripts, children stories, research papers and article rewrites.

the FAMILY magazine

table

contents

Family Fiction

16 The Diary Of A Modern Mom: The Banana Incident By: Meagan Church

Mommy and Daddy

Live Your Best

4 From The Publisher

4 Things We Love Right Now 5 4Keeps Comic 5 Contributors 8 The FAMILY Month Calendar 20 Centerfold Calendar

Family Recipe

8 Slow Cooker Chocolate Fondue With Fruit By: Katie & Theresa Slott

Family Craft

18 XO Marquee Letters By: Jill Lebbin

Family Movie Review 22 Joy By: Cole Pollyea

Family Book Review

23 Book Review: Creative Play The Steiner Waldorf Way

By Christopher Clouder & Janni Nicol Reviewed By: Sue Reber

23 Student Book Review: The Best Of Me

By: Meagan Church

26 Product Review: Hot Glue Guns By: Lara West

28 Strengthening Your Marriage Muscle By: Noelle Elliott

30 More Than The Baby Blues By: Ruth Hanley

By Nicholas Sparks Reviewed By: Sarah Casey

Family Fun

10 14 Fun Ways To Celebrate Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day With Your Kids By: Alyssa Chirco

Family Kids

12 Healthy Hearts For The Whole Family By: Jamie Lober

14 Raising Grateful Kids In An Entitled World By: Meagan Church

18 18

24 Dear Mom, You Were Made To Thrive

14 Tummy Troubles By: Jamie Lober

16 The Common Cold By: Jamie Lober

TUESDAY APRIL 19TH, 2016 The Morris Inn at Notre Dame

Bring you best gal pals and check out the latest spring fashions in Michiana!

5pm > Red Carpet Arrival & Check-In Cocktails & Heavy hors dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;oeuvres Light and Fabulous Entertainment

6pm > The Glitz & Sass Fashion Show

Featuring local boutiques & fashion-forward businesses

Ultimate SASSY TLC Pack, filled with extra special delights from many of your favorite local SASSY Magazine partners, drawing for fabulous prizes & much, much more! For more Information, see our website www.MichianaSassy.com A portion of the proceeds from this event will benefit the Michiana Chapter of Go RED! for Women.

Groundhog Day

Learn To Skate-With Irish Figure Skating Club,

Youth Cross Country Ski Lesson,

5:30 P.M., Ice Box-South Bend

10:00 A.M. – 12:00 P.M., St. Patrick’s County Park-South Bend

Father And Daughter Dance Class,

Century CenterSouth Bend

Bugs: Rain Forest Adventure,

Daddy/Daughter Valentine’s Dance,

6:00 P.M., Elkhart County Fair Grounds-Goshen

Super Bowl Sunday!

Tapping Day, 9:30 A.M. – 12:30 P.M.,

Bendix Woods County Park-New Carlisle

Michiana Prom Extravaganza,

Leap Day

10:00 A.M., Century Center-South Bend

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Daddy/Daughter Dance, 6:00 P.M.,

10:00 A.m., Goshen Theater

6:30 P.M., PHM Digital Video Theater/PlanetariumMishawaka

Random Acts Of Kindness Day

President’s Day

U Can Paint 2 Fundraiser For Relay For Life, 6:30 P.M., U Can Paint 2South Bend

11:00 P.M., Hilton Garden Inn-South Bend

Cacao Trees & Chocolate, 1:00 P.M.,

Frosty 5K And Mitten Mile,

And Nature Preserve

The Sweethearts Ball, 6:00 P.M. –

Room On The Broom, 2:30 P.M., O’Laughlin Auditorium, Saint Mary’s College-Notre Dame

Tell A Fairy Fernwood Botanical Garden Tale Day

10:00 A.M., Studebaker Park-Elkhart

1 4 5 8 10 16 18 22 23 24 25 28 M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M

Homemade (And Safe!)

Top 5

Playdough

Presidential-

Inspired Names On February 15th, America will be celebrating President’s Day! Below are the top five presidential-inspired baby names! Which one do you like the most? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Lincoln Kennedy Madison Jackson Carter

Ingredients: - 2 Cups Flour - 2 Cups Warm Water - 1 Cup Salt - 2 Tablespoons Vegetable Oil - 1 Tablespoon Cream of Tartar (For Elasticity) - Food Coloring Directions: Mix flour, warm water, salt, vegetable oil and cream of tartar together until mixture starts to form into dough. Then add food coloring of your choice and knead together. ENJOY!

Valentine’s Day School Gifts I Dig You

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2016

(www.nobiggie.net)

I Chews You (www.howdoesshe.com)

I’m Wild About You (www.thegirlcreative.com)

FAMILY recipe

Slow Cooker

Chocolate

Fondue with Fruit

Recipe & Photos By: Katie & Theresa Slott

Time: 10 minutes prep + 45 minutes cooking Makes: 4-6 servings For The Fondue:

For The Dippers:

• 10-12 oz. chocolate - milk, semisweet, dark or bittersweet

• 4 oz. pound cake, cubed

• 3 clementines, peeled and sectioned

• 1 banana, sliced thick

• 1 c. fresh pineapple chunks

• 3/4 c. half-and-half

• 2 c. small strawberries, cored

• 1 T. corn syrup

• 2 c. red and green apple chunks

• 1 pkg. graham crackers, broken into rectangles

• 1 t. vanilla extract

• 2 pears, sliced

• 1 c. large marshmallows

• 1/2 t. cinnamon

• 1 c. cherries, pitted

• 4 oz. pretzels, any size

• 1/2 t. orange zest, optional • pinch kosher salt

Tips: Fondue may be spooned into small bowls for individual dipping.

Steps: 1. In a small (1 quart) slow cooker, place all ingredients. Heat on low until chocolate is melted and smooth, stirring every 15 minutes. This will take about 45 minutes. 2. Serve immediately with the dippers of your choice.

Katie and Theresa Slott are sisters-in-law who write the food blog, Cooking for the Fam, where they share lots of tips, family-favorite recipes and meal plans. For more recipes like this one, or to see step-by-step photos of this recipe, check out their website, www.cookingforthefam.com.

14 FAMILY fun

Fun Ways

to Celebrate

Valentine’s Day with Your Kids

Valentine’s Day may be about passion and romance for some, but for parents, weekend getaways and romantic dinners for two are rarely on the menu. No matter how you celebrate with your significant other, be sure to embrace the fun that you can have with your kids on this special day too.

Ready to create some family-friendly Valentine’s Day traditions that include even the littlest loves of your life? This list of fun ways to celebrate with kids of all ages will help.

By: Alyssa Chirco

1. Get a sweet start. Show your special sweethearts how much you care by preparing a Valentine’s Day breakfast. Use food coloring or berry juice to dye pancake or waffle batter pink, and then top your fluffy creations with sliced strawberries and whipped cream. Bonus points if you use cookie cutters to make the waffles or pancakes in the shape of hearts.

2. Wear your heart on your sleeve (or your shirt). If you have a little girl who loves pink, this is the day for her to shine. Help her shop for a special Valentine’s Day outfit, and accessorize with heart-themed jewelry and hair bows. Not into cutesy and pink? Buy plain t-shirts and bottles of fabric paint at the local craft store and let your kids design their own Valentine’s Day fashions. 3. Make handmade Valentine’s. Handmade Valentines may sound complicated, but with the right materials, they can be easy to make. Cut hearts out of colored construction paper and let your kids decorate them with stickers, glitter and candy conversation hearts. Short on time? Use this method of decorating to turn store bought cards into handmade Valentine’s too.

4. Write letters of appreciation. Take the traditional Valentine’s Day card one step further by sitting down at the table with your kids and writing letters of appreciation to the important people in your lives. Grandparents, teachers and long-distance relatives will all enjoy hearing how much your family cares. 5. Spread the love. In addition to giving your Valentine’s to friends and family, spread the love a little further by delivering some of the cards to a local nursing home or children’s hospital. Take your children with you so they can see how much the simple gesture means to others. 10

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2016

6. Get heart healthy. February is American Heart Month, so use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to educate your kids about the importance of exercising for a healthy heart. Plan an annual family walk or bike ride, or crank up the love songs and get your hearts pumping with a Valentine’s Day dance party.

7. Go on a scavenger hunt. Create a Valentine’s Day Scavenger Hunt for the whole family by writing clues on paper hearts and hiding them all over your home. Each clue should lead participants to the next and, finally, to a special gift or message at the end. 8. Encourage a love of reading. A book like Sam McBratney’s Guess How Much I Love You is perfect to read aloud on Valentine’s Day. Or introduce your family to Robert Sabuda’s Saint Valentine, which tells the story of the ancient Roman priest and physician for whom Valentine’s Day is thought to be named.

9. Decorate your home. You decorate for Halloween and Christmas, so why not Valentine’s Day? Make the holiday fun and festive by purchasing inexpensive decorations like streamers, balloons, silk roses and heart-themed tablecloths at the dollar store. Invite your kids to help you deck the halls of your home with Valentine’s Day cheer. 10. Plan a kid-friendly party. Now that the house is decorated, invite a few your children’s friends (or just their stuffed animals) to a party. Find free printable templates for games like Valentine’s Bingo or Tic-Tac-Toe online. Decorate cupcakes or heartshaped cookies with pink frosting and sprinkles. Make guests feel special by serving a sparkling pink punch made of equal parts pink lemonade and strawberry-flavored sparkling water in plastic champagne flutes. 11. Make chocolate-covered strawberries. Even kids appreciate this classic Valentine’s Day treat. And if you buy a container of microwavable dipping chocolate, it’s one they can (almost) make without help. Dip strawberries into the melted chocolate, and then set them on wax paper to harden. Wrap up these sweet treats to give as a gift, or – even better – enjoy them yourselves.

12. Commit Random Acts of Kindness. Did you know that Valentine’s Day falls during Random Acts of Kindness Week (February 14-20)? Spend February 14th performing kind gestures in your community. Smile at everyone you see. Deliver flowers to an elderly neighbor. Challenge your kids to see who can commit the most acts of kindness throughout the course of the day.

13. Enjoy a Family Date Night. Skip the reservation for two and take the whole family out for a night on the town instead. Get dressed up in nice clothes and dine at a restaurant you all enjoy. End the evening with a horse-drawn carriage ride or a trip to an outdoor ice rink to skate together under the stars.

14. Say “I love you.” How often do you say those three simple words out loud? No matter how else you choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day, there’s no better way (or day) to let your children know how just how special you think they are. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY Y 2016

FAMILY kids

healthy hearts For ThE

By: Jamie Lober

Whole Family

s you continue to pursue your New Year’s resolutions, make sure you keep cardiovascular health on your list. By making small efforts as a family you can keep each other accountable, spend quality time and improve your wellbeing. “Adults should have 150 minutes of physical activity per week and kids should have 60 minutes per day which is a way for families to do something fun together and maintain their heart health,” said Tim Harms, communications director at the American Heart Association. The key is to find something you enjoy doing and stick with it. “If you are not doing anything right now start by walking since that is the easiest form of exercise, there is no cost involved and you can do it anywhere,” said Harms. Gradually increase the time you spend being active whether you are biking, swimming, gardening or playing hide and seek and you will see the results.

It is important to maintain a healthy weight. “Make dinnertime a family time because when everyone sits own together to eat, there is less chance of children eating the wrong foods or snacking too much,” said Harms. You may choose to get your child involved in cooking or planning meals or if he takes an interest, teach him how to read food labels. You should calculate your body mass index every two years to find out if your body type raises your risk of heart disease. A body mass index of 25 or higher means you are overweight and 30 or higher means you are obese. The National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute said that you should choose a variety of grains daily and half of your grains should be whole grains; choose a variety of fruits and vegetables daily; choose a diet that is low in saturated fat, trans fat and cholesterol; choose foods and beverages that are low in added sugar; choose and prepare foods with little salt; if you drink alcoholic beverages, do so in moderation; aim for a healthy weight; be physically active most days; balance the calories you take in with the calories you expend through physical activity; and keep foods safe to eat.

“Make dinnertime a family time because when everyone sits down together to eat, there is less chance of children eating the wrong foods or snacking too much.”

It is also important not to smoke or use tobacco. “Smoking and tobacco use is still the leading cause of preventable death in the United States,” said Harms. To deal with urges, it is helpful to identify your triggers and choose new coping skills. Know that a connection has been found between secondhand smoke and heart disease as well. A sedentary lifestyle is detrimental to your health, so you want to limit screen time to two hours a day.

Know your numbers. “You want to consult with your physician to make sure that your blood pressure is in the appropriate range and that you also know your cholesterol and blood sugar because diabetes is a leading risk factor for heart disease,” said Harms. Healthy blood pressure depends on age, gender and height and it should be checked every two years or more often if you have high blood pressure or prehypertension. The American Academy of Pediatrics has endorsed guidelines from the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute which recommend that all children undergo cholesterol screening once between the ages of 9 and 11 and again between the ages of 17 and 21. The goal is to help pediatricians monitor and intervene in order to minimize the effects of weight and unhealthy lifestyle on wellness.

“Consult with your physician to make sure that your blood pressure is in the appropriate range and that you also know your cholesterol and blood sugar.”

Remember, that while you cannot control genetics, there are some things that are within your reach. “You can modify or control seven major independent risk factors for coronary heart disease which are cigarette and tobacco smoke; high blood cholesterol; high blood pressure; physical inactivity; overweight or obesity; diabetes; and unhealthy diet,” said Harms. The best thing you can do as a parent is to be a good role model. When your child sees you eating right and getting moving, they will be likely to follow suit. You can make a difference. “There is a general awareness, people are paying closer attention and we are doing research over the years that has led to much better outcomes now than when you think of 30, 40 or 50 years ago,” said Harms.

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY Y 2016

FAMILY kids

Raising

By: Meagan Church

Grateful Kids

in an Entitled World

“I

f you ask most parents what they want for their kids, they say, ‘I want them to be happy.’ Most might even have the same answer for themselves. Instead of happiness being a by-product of the life we live, it has become an elusive destination,” Kristen Welch argues in her recentlyreleased book “Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World: How One Family Learned That Saying No Can Lead to Life’s Biggest Yes.” In this latest book, Kristen, a writer and blogger of “We Are That Family,” discusses the struggle of kids feeling more entitled than grateful. She writes, “We live in a culture that is obsessed with the right to have what we want, whether we’ve earned it or not.” This mother of three believes that this desire to give children happy lives is leading to a generation of spoiled kids. “When we try to protect our kids from unhappiness, we make life down the road harder for them. It can be summed up in one word—entitlement.” Kristen explains that her book isn’t a guide or a list of what to do and what not to do, or a fail-proof parenting plan. “I bought into the lie that it’s my job to make my kid’s childhood magical and fun, to guarantee that every day will be an adventure all about them,” she writes. But over time, her perspective, focus and parenting changed. Throughout the book, she offers personal stories and anecdotes of how her family has dealt with entitlement and has taught gratitude instead. Through a Christian perspective, she takes on topics such as wants verses needs, the selfie society and how gratitude is a choice. She gives practical tips on how to move away from being a child-centered home by cultivating obedience and setting limits and boundaries. At the end of each chapter, she gives practical advice and action points to help parents implement the tips she discusses in each chapter. She even includes a cell phone contract between parent and child in the appendix of the book. 14

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2016

“I think it’s important to teach our kids that the effort they give is related to the outcome they receive.”

Kristen’s advice to parents doesn’t always make for easy lessons, especially in a society that values happy, easy childhoods. Let them be unhappy. “If we fix every problem, cater to every need and bend over backwards to keep our kids happy all the time, we are setting them up for a false reality because life won’t always offer them the same courtesy. Sometimes professors won’t accept excuses, bosses won’t make allowances and banks won’t give second chances.”

Teach the importance of effort. “I think it’s important to teach our kids that the effort they give is related to the outcome they receive.”

Make room for boredom. “Our children need to be bored. They need to kick their feet and wait outside bathroom doors, unanswered. They need to be sent outside or to their rooms to play. They need to turn over the bag of tricks and find it empty.”

Serve others. “Underindulgence has led to great joy for our family,” she writes. “Simply put, we have discovered deep satisfaction in serving and loving people other than ourselves.”

Expand their worldview. “If we see life through only one lens, we believe the misconception that everyone in the world has what we do, and our blessings start looking a lot like expectations.” Gratitude may not come easily in our selfie-obsessed society of convenience. But as Kristen writes, “Our kids are watching us. And when we feel like we are failing or we don’t know what to do next, the answer is always to get closer to Jesus because when we do, those around us might just inch closer too.”

“to keep our kids happy all the time, we are setting them up for a false reality...” THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY Y 2016

FAMILY fiction

The Diary of a

Modern Mom: The Banana Incident By: Meagan Church

January 13, 4 A.B. (after-baby) Dear Jo, You know these days you’re not supposed to forget? These “best years that go by in the blink of an eye?” Well, today started with another tantrum over a banana. Who knew fruit could be so frustrating? Of course that’s not how the beauty of your morning began. Lyla woke four times last night. You just got her back to sleep and had transitioned her into her bassinet when Paul’s alarm went off. While you hoped she would ignore it and continue sleeping for another two hours, Paul decided to ignore it instead. How he can sleep through that thing and yet no one else in the room can, is beyond me. After a swift elbow for him to turn off the obnoxious siren, you tried your best to once again soothe Lyla back to sleep. She wanted nothing to do with it. You hoped that maybe she would be like those babies in magazines who lie in their cribs, look around contentedly and coo. But that’s not really her style. Before Paul even got up, you were 16

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2016

out of bed and dressed, though to be honest, you had just slept in your yoga pants last night, so all you really needed to do was put on your nursing bra and a shirt that didn’t smell like sour milk. (Note to self: your laundry really needs to be done.) Given Lyla’s early rise, you had plenty of time to consume your caffeine needs before Emerson woke. If there’s one thing you did right it was to teach that child how to sleep in. Of course being a stay-at-home mom means you don’t have to get him up and dressed and out the door before the sun even rises. Instead, he can sleep until 9:00 a.m., which is especially great when it comes to the weekends. Now to get the little miss on that same schedule. You knew his transition into the day wasn’t going to be a smooth one when the first sounds you heard out of him were crying instead of reciting books to himself in his bed while he waited for you. Of course Lyla had just fallen asleep for her morning nap, so you

tip toed as quickly as possible to his room to see what was going on. “Bluey’s cape won’t go flat!” he said through tears and a pouting lip. Tell me you remember Bluey. On second thought, tell me Emerson still has him. When his grandparents took him to Builda-Bear for his second Christmas, no body knew that the blue bear carcass he dug out of the bin would become his best friend. He may even be more attached to it than he is to me, as unbelievable as that sounds. I cannot imagine him ever fully separating from that stuffed bear, not even for college. Or marriage. Of course the problem that morning wasn’t with Bluey (who could never do wrong). It was with the superhero costume he had dressed him in. Mr. Meticulous could not believe the nerve of that piece of fabric to not. Lie.

Flat. That kid’s precision can be a great strength and one of his biggest downfalls. Tell me he is using it for good and not bad. Surely he’s an engineer of some sort. Or an architect. Or surgeon.

again.

“Did you write this?” you asked him.

“Where’s the sticker?”

He didn’t answer with words. He nodded his head and smiled.

So, you did your best to not just roll your eyes. You tried to engage. You tried to speak soothingly, calmly, to help him take deep breaths and realize this situation was not the end of the world. For the most part, you talked him off the ledge. Of course cuddles helped, too. You thought you had defused the situation. You helped him get dressed (Thomas the Train shirt, of course) and to the bathroom. You thought you were in the clear when you got into the kitchen. You thought his mood had shifted. You thought his sister slept through the entire episode.

“The sticker.”

And then the banana happened. He wanted his typical breakfast of a banana with one piece of toast. You walked to the fruit bowl. You noticed that the bananas were getting low. You looked for the right one (no bruising, has a sticker). Then you noticed it. The bananas were free from bruises. And stickers. You thought back to yesterday. You distinctly remembered taking the sticker off your leg after Emerson had routinely placed it on your thigh after removing it from the banana. You remembered putting it on a banana for the next day. You knew the repercussions of a sticker-less banana and you did not want to suffer the consequences, so you had saved it to be reused. But it was gone. Then you thought about Paul that morning. He had overslept. He hadn’t had time to eat breakfast. On the way out the door, he grabbed a banana. THE banana. THE stickered banana. You took a deep breath, wished for more coffee and then handed Emerson a naked banana, hoping Mr. Observant wouldn’t notice. He took it in his hand, turned it over and over

You attempted ignorance (you should know better). “Hmmm?”

“So, you want a piece of toast, too?” And then it happened. The tears. The cries. “I want a sticker!” “I know you do, Buddy, but this banana doesn’t have one. We’ve talked about this. Not all bananas do.” “I want a sticker!” “Well, after breakfast we can find some stickers in the art box and you can….” “No! A banana sticker!”

In the early days, milestones happen quickly and consecutively. Babies learn to hold up their heads, sit, crawl and talk. But after the walking happens, the noticeable accomplishments become fewer and farther between. But there he stood, with another accomplishment under his belt—one you didn’t even realize he was capable of. “You wrote your name all by yourself?” “Yep.” So you gave him a high five and you put aside the laundry to help him find a place on the refrigerator to hang the picture. It was right next to the place on the wall where he had flung his banana earlier that morning.

And with that, the perfectly bruisefree banana was launched across the kitchen and onto the floor. Of course he got a time out and it was about the moment when you got him settled into his chair that you heard it. One kid had just stopped crying, so the other could start up. But the thing about kids is that the mood can quickly change. About half-an-hour later, you were folding laundry with the TV on for some company, even though it was that morning show that you can’t stand (do they really consider themselves journalists?). Lyla was under her floor gym and Emerson had been quiet since shortly after breakfast. Maybe it was thanks to post-breakfast, leveled out blood sugar. Or maybe it is just because he’s a kid, and to him the banana incident was a lifetime ago because he ran to you with such joy. “Look! Look!” he said as he held out a piece of paper with seven letters on it.

Sometimes those quick mood changes are enough to make you wonder if you’re bipolar. But other times they are exactly what you needed for a shift in perspective. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY Y 2016

FAMILY craft

XO Marquee Letters By: Jill Lebbin

Materials:

Directions:

• Heidi Swapp Marquee Letters Available at Hobby Lobby or Michaels

Step 1: Pick out patterned paper and flip paper over to trace with tracing letter. When you get your Marquee letter kit, you will get a letter form, light bulbs, light bulb caps and a tracing letter. For step one you are going to want to use your tracing letter. Then go pick out some patterned paper. So, after I picked out my pattern paper, I flipped the paper over and traced the letter on it. Now, gentle reminder… if you do flip your paper over to trace, don’t forget to mirror image your letter (trace it backwards).

• Patterned Paper • Pencil • Scissors

Step 2: Cut out your letter and hole punch the circles and place in letter form. Just a little tip: My hole punch wasn’t as big as the tracing holes, but it was ok because I just pushed the bulb caps in and it was fine. Step 3: Push bulb caps into holes. Be careful not to push too hard. I accidentally pushed too hard once and it took the bottom of the letter off the side! Yikes! But it ended up fine. Step 4: Flip the letter over and place light kit into light bulb caps. Make sure to use the paper that is provided in your kit. It shows you the correct order in which to place the light kit. Step 5: Put two AAA batteries into the battery pack and turn it on!

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2016

The FAMILY Magazine Presents...

2016

Starting Saturday

March 19th, 2016 The Virtual Camp & Kid’s Care Fair starts March 19th and will continue to be online through August 31st 2016!

JOIN US! • Summer Camps • Summer School • Classes & Workshops • Daycares • Athletic Camps • Art Camps • Specialty Camps • Faith Based Camps • Day Camps • Many More!

Contests and giveaways during the month of March on www.MichianaMom.com and the FAMILY Magazine’s Facebook Page!

WANT A REMINDER?

Come visit local and regional summer camps and kid’s care from the comfort of you own home!

6:30 P.M., Elkhart Public Library

Family Story Time-Jazz,

10:15 A.M., Wakarusa Public Library

Story Hour,

Groundhog Day

3 PHM Digital Video Theater/ Planetarium-Mishawaka

Bugs: Rain Forest Adventure, 6:30 P.M.,

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris InnUniversity of Notre Dame

Afternoon Tea,

Together Time,

10:00 A.M. – 12:00 P.M., Peace Lutheran SchoolGranger

Elkhart Civic Theatre-Bristol

The Baker Street Irregulars, 7:00 P.M.,

RBIs Unlimited-Mishawaka

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

Afternoon Tea,

Family Fun Night-RBIs Unlimited, 4:00 P.M.,

10:00 A.M., Goshen Theater

Father And Daughter Dance Class,

St. Patrick’s County Park-South Bend

Youth Cross Country Ski Lesson, 10:00 A.M. – 12:00 P.M.,

Afternoon Tea,

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

— The Notebook

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds and that's what you've given me."

FEBRUARY

2016

Want to check out even more things to do in Michiana?

Get connected to our online calendar at MichianaMom.com to see additional events and submit events of your own!

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

Afternoon Tea,

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

Afternoon Tea,

4:00 P.M., DeBartolo Performing Arts CenterNotre Dame

South Bend Youth Symphony Orchestra,

4:00 P.M., The Lerner-Elkhart

Celebrate Youth-Where Dreams Are Born!,

Fernwood Botanical Garden And Nature Preserve

Cacao Trees & Chocolate, 1:00 P.M.,

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Sunday!

Super Bowl

7:30 P.M., Merriman’s Playhouse-South Bend

Day

President’s

Merriman’s PlayhouseSouth Bend

Jazz Open Session (Straight Ahead Jazz), 7:30 P.M.,

10:15 A.M., Wakarusa Public Library

Story Hour,

Leap Day

Jazz Open Session (Straight Ahead Jazz),

Daddy/Daughter Dance, 6:00 P.M.,

Mardi Gras/ Fat Tuesday

6:00 A.M., Goshen Middle School

Water Aerobics!,

6:00 A.M., Goshen Middle School

Water Aerobics!,

Lovers’ Day

Peanut Butter

MAR 1

Century Center-South Bend

Dance Theatre Of Harlem, 7:30 P.M.,

4:45 P.M., Elkhart Public Library

Magic Moment: Draw & Paint,

Wednesday

Ash

Old Stuff Day

The Lerner-Elkhart

Lunchtime Live! Free Piano/Organ Concert With Celia Weiss, 11:00 A.M.,

O’Laughlin Auditorium, Saint Mary’s College-Notre Dame

Together Time,

Afternoon Tea,

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

PHM Digital Video Theater/ Planetarium-Mishawaka

Video Theater/PlanetariumMishawaka

Laser Beatles & Laser Pop, 8:00 P.M., PHM Digitla

7:30 P.M., Southwestern Michigan College-Dowagiac, MI

The Little Mermaid,

Afternoon Tea,

Legends Of The Night Sky-Orion & Perseus/ Andromeda, 6:30 P.M.,

South Bend

Learn To Skate-With Irish Figure Skating Club, 5:30 P.M., Ice Box-

RBIs Unlimited-Mishawaka

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

Afternoon Tea,

Family Fun Night-RBIs Unlimited, 4:00 P.M.,

U Can Paint 2-South Bend

U Can Paint 2 Fundraiser For Relay For Life, 6:30 P.M.,

Ice Box-South Bend

Learn To SkateWith Irish Figure Skating Club, 5:30 P.M.,

Ice Box-South Bend

Learn To Skate-With Irish Figure Skating Club, 5:30 P.M.,

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

Afternoon Tea,

6:00 A.M., Goshen Middle School

Water Aerobics!,

Afternoon Tea,

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

Afternoon Tea, 2:30

5:45 P.M., Tolson Center-Elkhart

Zumba Classes,

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

Afternoon Tea,

10:00 A.M. – 12:00 P.M., Peace Lutheran SchoolGranger

Daddy/Daughter Valentine’s Dance,

Afternoon Tea,

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

6:00 P.M., Elkhart County Fair Grounds-Goshen

7:30 P.M., Elkhart Civic Theatre-Bristol

Guys On Ice,

Afternoon Tea,

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

Room On The Broom,

2:30 P.M., O’Laughlin Auditorium, Saint Mary’s College-Notre Dame

Afternoon Tea,

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

Michiana Prom Extravaganza,

10:00 A.M., Century Center-South Bend

Tapping Day,

Afternoon Tea,

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame 9:30 A.M. – 12:30 P.M., Bendix Woods County Park-New Carlisle

Frosty 5K And Mitten Mile,

6:00 P.M. – 11:00 P.M., Hilton Garden Inn-South Bend

The Sweethearts Ball,

Afternoon Tea,

2:30 P.M. – 3:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

10:00 A.M., Studebaker Park-Elkhart

FAMILY movie review

Joy

Photo Courtesy: www.foxmovies.com

ver the last four years, Jennifer Lawrence has teamed with director David O. Russell and actors Robert De Niro and Bradley Cooper to produce three notable films. These are 2012’s Silver Linings Playbook, 2013’s American Hustle and, their latest, 2015’s Joy. All three have undeniable merit, for certain, but the result of their latest collaborative effort is Jennifer Lawrence’s finest performance to date, the group’s best achievement, and, overall, O’Russell’s second best film (behind I Heart Huckabees).

Yielding an unjustly low Tomatometer score of 58%, Joy follows the plight of an innovative and exceedingly capable young woman, Joy Mangano, who is burdened by her uncooperative, soap opera addicted mother, her dimwitted father (De Niro), her broke ex-husband, two kids and the sole responsibility of paying the bills. After years of working her hands to the bone to keep up with the livelihood of the family living under her roof, she comes to the realization that she has been spinning her wheels with no forward progress since she graduated from high school. With the slight support and cooperation of her father, controlling sister-in-law and ex-husband, she embarks on an entrepreneurial journey in an effort to move up in the oppressive and capitalistic world and to redeem all of her lost time. Joy is, without doubt, O’Russell’s most engrossing and straightforward piece yet. He doesn’t meander, and he doesn’t lose focus for a second. He successfully incorporates crushing themes of consumerism and bigotry, and let’s said themes play out in the despair of the viewer’s eyes. He constructs the characters in Joy’s life very simply, but gets away with it. They are cardboard cutouts in the best sense possible because they leave the viewers very sure about Joy’s family dynamics and the way that she feels about each person in the film. He leaves all of the film's complications to the obstacles that she faces along the journey, and this results in seamless and absorbing plot development. Bradley Cooper comes in after a decent amount of screen time, and he plays the QVC rep through which Joy is able to advertise her product on television. His role, as her personal connection to the non-personal realm of business, is key and his performance is exactly what you’d expect from Cooper. From a wardrobe/makeup perspective, his appearance properly conveys the high stakes associated with his job along with the same level

Reviewed By: Cole Pollyea

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2016

of anxiety that the audience experiences during the majority of his screen time. Despite being draped in professional clothes with his consistently great haircut, he looks like he’s operating on three to four hours of sleep and his tie is tied loosely in every frame.

“Joy is a wonderful tale of a strong woman who made her way in a man's world and, it is suitable for a family viewing.”

De Niro performs on the same level. He delivers lines with gusto and adheres purposefully to the character of Joy’s father: a dull, but goodhearted man who has accepted into his heart the same condemning ideology that threatens to corrupt Joy’s success: that successful business is done by only the elite male. Make no mistake, however, it’s all about Lawrence here. From her first scene, it was clear that she was going to shine as the housewife turned entrepreneur who is tested on every level. She wears anguish on her face when duty calls and kicks butt when she has to. It seems as though this is the role she was meant to play, as her portrayal feels comfortable and just plain right every step of the way. I foresee strong Oscar consideration for her work here. All merits aside, Joy does have two setbacks that keep it from being a near perfect film, and

those are its obligatory ending and its imprecise voiceover. Seen many times before in many different movies, this aggravating sort of ending didn’t hurt Joy but certainly didn’t send itself off effectively by any stretch of the imagination. It was an attempt by the filmmakers to encapsulate all of the movie’s ideals and the characters’ denouements in one scene which was supposed to affirm our faith in what we had just watched for the last two hours. Ultimately, this goal was not reached and this scene was extremely unsatisfying. Furthermore, the movie is sort of narrated by Joy’s grandmother who, from an early age, was the only person in her life who voiced her support of Joy. Many times over, she is shown conveying her faith in Joy and telling her that she can be an amazing young entrepreneur or a great woman or a strong matriarch or a wonderful parent or a good person… Or something like that. And this is the problem; her presence in Joy’s life is too vague and her effect on Joy’s path and self-image is undefined if at all evident. Maybe her effect on Joy was more profound in real life, but based what we see in the movie, she was simply not influential enough to have the sole narration over the proceedings, which was sporadic at best. Conclusively, Joy is a wonderful tale of a strong woman who made her way in a man's world and, unlike the filmmakers' and actors' previous movies, it is suitable for a family viewing. From me, it garners a three-and-a-half (out of four) star rating and ranks second on the list of O' Russell's works. In addition to serving as an inspirational biopic, it is also a film that harbors a moving performance and one that divulges formidable themes about society. It's one that won't be (completely) ignored by the Academy this year, and one that shouldn't be ignored by anybody else either.

FAMILY book review Creative Play The Steiner Waldorf Way Expertise and Toy Projects for Your 2-4-Year-Old By Christopher Clouder & Janni Nicol Reviewed By: Sue Reber, Bittersweet Youth Services Supervisor Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Public Library Bittersweet Photo courtesy: Amazon.com

children have too much media influence at an early age and oftentimes are not able to cope with the over stimulation of electronic devices and entertainment that is not beneficial. Children learn more through simple one-on-one communication and everyday play.

“…children have predispositions and gifts that, if fostered by playgroup or kindergarten, will enable the child to develop into a confident, responsible and free individual.” Randolf Steiner Using Randolf Steiner’s principles, the authors encourage parents to allow children to explore the world around them though creative play and highlight the importance of repetition, structure and making sure the child feels secure. Focusing primarily on 2-4 year olds, the authors talk about how the child develops and what skills are important to learn at each age. Yet, they also remind the reader that the child needs to grow at his/her own development rate and the parent should allow healthy growth rather than push a child to the next milestone. The authors also emphasize that

“Play helps our cognitive and kinetic development, and enhances our problemsolving abilities, aesthetic sensitivity and linguistic skill.” This book suggests ways to use the Steiner theories in everyday play. There are four chapters focusing on self, imagination, interaction and discovery. Each chapter starts out explaining the topic and how to encourage these different elements through play. For instance, the “Imagination” chapter starts out explaining that studies have shown that unimaginative children tend to be more

aggressive and that a child’s imagination gives him a relationship to everything around him. The chapter gives “hints and tips” for parents on how to begin using imagination in the child’s play. There are directions for several charming toys that can be made out of simple materials found in the home. Each toy can be used in several ways to help encourage imagination. Some of the toys to make in the imagination chapter are a riding horse, building blocks and planks, dolls house with furniture, a felt fishing set and crowns and cloaks. The instructions for the toys are easy to follow. Studies and findings from acclaimed professionals who have studied the benefits of supporting creative play in children’s lives are included. There are several books in the series for different age groups and a full list of recommended reading is included.

FAMILY student book review

The Best Of Me

By Nicholas Sparks

Reviewed By: Sarah Casey When you were 18, you wanted to believe that true love was real, that's is exactly what she did…... In the spring of 1984, high school students Amanda Collier and Dawson Cole fell madly in love. They were from the opposite sides of the track, their love for one another seemed to ignore the realities of a small town in Oriental, North Carolina. But, as soon as summer came of their senior year, it would come to an end. They both knew it would mean good for this young couple, sending them both in different directions. Now, 25 years later, Amanda and Dawson are summoned back to Oriental for the funeral of Tuck Hostetler, the mentor who gave shelter to Dawson and to

their high school romance. Neither has lived the life they imagined and neither can forget the love they both shared for each other. As Amanda and Dawson carry out Tuck’s will, they realize that everything they thought they knew about Tuck and about themselves was not as it seemed. Forced to confront painful memories, the two former high school sweethearts will be asked of the living, and the dead: can love rewrite the past?

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY Y 2016

FAMILY mommy & daddy

dear mom, You Were Made to

Thrive By: Meagan Church

Dear Mom, Sometimes as a mom it’s hard to feel like anything more than ordinary. Let’s face it; when your days are filled with the never-ending cycle of diapers, dishes and dirty laundry, you often find yourself longing for something…more. Something that allows you to use more of your brain than another round of Chutes and Ladders. Something that gives you a reason to put on clothes other than yoga pants. Something that gives you a reason to shower, to do your hair, to maybe even apply a bit of make-up. We just want something more than ordinary.

“As moms today, we are flooded with images of things we ‘should’ do and standards we ‘should’ be living up to.”

As moms today, we are flooded with images of things we “should” do and standards we “should” be living up to. We are not only judged by the outside world, but internally we read status updates and wonder if we are measuring up. We re-pin images of what we think is inspiration, but really it’s because we long for something more. We watch celebrities as we lounge in our pjs on our couches, and we wonder if we could ever look like them. We admire Tina Fey and Amy Poehler for their humor and their success. These mothers are doing it. They’re making it and they look like they’re having a blast doing it. And here I am in my pajamas. Here I am with greasy hair and a messy house. Here I sit listening for my sick toddler to wake crying, needing comforting once again. Here I sit, wondering when the sickness will finally pass, when I will get a full night’s sleep, when my routine will return to normal. When will I feel like I’m doing more than just surviving the day-to-day?

“To thrive as a mother is to do more than just survive. We owe it to ourselves, our spouses and our kids to realize this truth.”

I have too often bought into the lie that being a mom is ordinary. That it’s not enough. When I first became a parent, motherhood caught me off guard. It was a fully-consuming, 24/7 job that I was not prepared for. I thought I’d feed him a bit, rock him some and he’d magically sleep for hours. Of course I’d bathe him and change diapers as well, but what more could such a tiny person need? I had no idea. So, I spent those first few months of parenting a high-needs, colicky child just surviving. I counted down the milestones to get me through. I told myself that if we made it four weeks, things would improve. Then six weeks. Then it was two months and four months. Surely after six months things would get easier. I spent too much of those early months counting down and wishing away, wondering when life would return to “normal” instead of embracing my new reality, my new role, my new calling.

To answer this question, we must understand what our calling as mothers is. It’s to love our children. It’s to teach them, feed them, care for them, meet their basic needs, provide a safe environment for them to grow, discipline them, encourage them and comfort them when they are sick, even if it messes up our own schedules and agendas. No where on that list does it say we must maintain an immaculately clean house; cook a five-course meal that is not only highly nutritious, but also easily palatable and enthusiastically enjoyed; maintain a full and fulfilling social calendar; or craft every season into oblivion. No where in the job description does it mention all. Instead it means forgetting your agenda and making time for a tea party, stepping on the occasional Lego and wiping noses. It also means getting paid in hugs, giggles and wet kisses with the pay-off sometimes coming far later than we’d like it to.

Rarely today is motherhood referred to as a calling, but when we are blessed with these precious little ones, how could it be anything but that? How could we diminish our roles as mothers as anything less than a calling with a purpose far greater than ourselves? Because too often we sideline the talk of a “calling” and instead focus the conversation on how we moms must do it all and have it all. So, how can we not feel a bit inadequate when we can’t balance, attain or achieve it all?

To thrive as a mother is to do more than just survive. We owe it to ourselves, our spouses and our kids to realize this truth.

But here’s the thing: all isn’t possible. Just as a child can’t eat all the cake he wants, all isn’t possible and even it if was, it isn’t good for us. It’s not what we were made for. We must remember this: We know we were made for so much more than ordinary lives It’s time for us to do more than just survive We were made to thrive. ~ Thrive, Casting Crowns So, dear mom, the question is: are you thriving? I’m sure if you answer from your gut, your response is a quick “no.” But think again. Sure, I’m tempted to say the same, especially when the family room floor is covered by a layer of toys, the TV has a thick coating of dust and I can’t remember the last time I left the house for a reason other than school pick-up. But to answer this question with honesty, we need to look deeper than the surface. And, as much as we admire Tina and Amy, we can’t judge ourselves compared to their Hollywood appearances. After all, we have no idea what their lives behind the screen look like. Who knows? Maybe they trip over Legos, fold laundry and diffuse tantrums just like the rest of us.

So, don’t settle for ordinary. Don’t settle for just surviving. Instead, remember that with every diaper change, every meal prepared, every nose wiped and cry comforted, you are choosing to show up, to make a difference, to love through action. I’ll be honest; I don’t have it all. And I don’t want it all either. All isn’t reality. It isn’t possible. It isn’t what we are made for. But thriving is. Even on those days when I wish I could be as glamorous (and funny) as Tina Fey, I need to remember what really matters. What matters is that my sick little girl needs her momma to hold her tightly and cuddle her to sleep. That’s my job. That’s my calling. That’s how I am thriving.

FAMILY mommy & daddy

Product Review: Hot Glue Guns

By: Lara West

Strong winter winds can keep even the most adventurous nature spirit indoors and longing for something deep and meaningful to accomplish. Even the non-craftiest people can find themselves testing their handiwork to avoid the pitfalls of a snow and ice induced cabin fever. Most of the time, we find ourselves pulling up the Internet and scavenging for a breathtaking project to decorate our home or gift to a lovely person in our life. Crafty, or not, we can all agree that a glue gun is going to be our best friend for the completion of our project, but will the $5 glue gun work as well as the $32 one?

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2016

Let’s find out! For this test, the cheapest hot glue gun (high temperature) on the shelf was pitted against a more expensive one. I timed them both to see how long they took to heat up, whether or not they dripped, and the quality of the stand. Let’s begin with the results: Heating Up: Although it is becoming more popular, neither glue gun has an off switch. They continue producing heat from the time they are plugged in until they are unplugged. The cheapest glue gun was heated up and ready for use within three minutes, while the expensive glue gun needed just over five minutes to be ready.

“The less expensive gun ‘leaked’, or dripped a small amount of glue after each use.”

Dripping: Both glue guns were comfortable to hold, and the trigger was relatively similar to squeeze. The less expensive gun ‘leaked’, or dripped a small amount of glue after each use. This caused glue to land in unwanted areas, of both, my project and table, thus making me slightly more frustrated as I had to carefully peel it off parts of my project to not leave a noticeable mark. The leakage also meant that it took between 1/3 and 1/2 more of a glue stick to complete the same project than the more expensive glue gun. Standing Up: The glue guns had their own standing device attached to them. The more expensive gun had a metal stand that swung forward for resting and backward during use. The less expensive glue gun had two small plastic triangles attached at both sides near the tip of the gun. There was not a problem standing either of the guns. The more expensive gun was useable without flipping the stand back, but when using it in a tiny pace between other objects it had to be kicked back. It was a bit of a nuisance, until I got really good at flipping it back into place with my thumb before setting it down.

Results: Both guns were successful in doing their job and helping me complete a project with ease. They both performed well, and outshined the other in some way. If you’re completing projects with a younger artist, that two minute wait to get started may be important enough to spend a little extra on glue sticks because there will be a good amount that is useless (unless you save it and find a way to incorporate the small drops into another project). For large projects or if you plan on using the glue gun frequently, you might consider the more expensive one, as it uses less glue and has a slightly bigger shell giving bigger hands a better grip.

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FAMILY mommy & daddy By: Noelle Elliott

your

Marriage

Muscle

n January, we were inundated with the New Year’s craze to get healthy and work out, eat right and save money. We are told we need to love ourselves enough to take care of our health. It has become a month of resolutions and by the next month, we have abandoned or even forgotten about them. When February rolls around, we are bombarded with Valentine's Day, paper hearts and love, yet now the focus has shifted from ourselves, and we are supposed to show our love to our partner. It goes without saying that we should make both loving our partners and ourselves a priority every single month. One could argue that those are the most important people to take care of, yet we often put our partner last, or, at least, second to last after ourselves. With work, friends and children this is easy to do. There are weeks when I realize that my husband and I have had more communication via text than face. This is, simply put, not acceptable. I realized that although our marriage appeared to be strong, underneath it was starting to weaken. With any muscle, if you don’t use it, it will atrophy.

I decided to make our 15-year marriage a priority and work on our marriage muscle.

The following are some ideas I used: Commit

The best way to make something a habit is to repeat it often. If you have fallen out of a routine, it is easy to return to familiar and bad habits. I put a little heart on my calendar to remind me to keep my husband on my mind.

Do the Unexpected

Some nights our bedroom seems like it has a revolving door and each hour a different child needs something. Knowing that he was probably as exhausted as I was, I used my lunch break to get him a triple shot mocha. I delivered it to his desk with a note that said “From your secret admirer.”

Focus on what is Right

All too often we point out the pet peeves that drive us crazy. My husband leaves his socks next to the bed despite my reoccurring request that he didn’t. I decided to cast a blind eye to this and highlight the fact that he folded all of our children’s laundry. 28

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Get a Babysitter

We often avoid getting a babysitter because it is too costly to go on a date and pay a babysitter, especially when you are trying to save money. This is true, but uninterrupted time with your spouse is crucial if you want to maintain your marriage muscle. Make it a priority at least once a month.

Make a To-Do List

Give your partner a list of things you would like to do with them this year. This can be taking a dance class or simply trying a new cocktail or recipe. It gives them direction if they want to surprise you.

Phone Free Zone

When you arrive home after work, put your phone on the charger and leave it there. I found that I always had my phone in my pocket or hand and it sent the message to my family that they were not important. Everyone I should need to communicate with was within arms reach, so there was no need to see what my college roommate was doing on her vacation via Facebook. By not having my phone, it makes me accessible for personal interaction.

Create a Time Hop

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a storyteller by nature and so this comes easy for me. I like to tell our sons about the first time their father and I met. I do this with great detail. Sometimes I embellish it just to make my husband laugh but because he was the only one there, he is the only one that picks up on it. It is fun to remember what life was like when we first fell in love. It also serves as a good reminder that I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forgotten what it is that I love about him.

Read to Each Other

When watching a TV show together, it is easy to focus on the television and not each other. Last summer my husband and I read a book together. Reading to someone forces you to concentrate on the person who is reading and you are literally on the same page. It is fun and a great way to relax at the end of the day.

Even if you choose just a few of the ideas listed, it will send the clear message that you are making an effort. Sometimes love can best be shown through our actions.

Yar, ADEC Case Coordinator, runs with Kyle during the 2015 Chicago Marathon.

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FAMILY mommy & daddy

More than the

Baby Blues: When A Friend Has PMD By: Ruth Hanley

Post-partum mood disorder (PMD) is the number one complication with childbirth. It affects fifteen to twenty percent of new mothers and is often undiagnosed in women, leaving new moms worrying and wondering why they don’t feel “normal”. PMD can affect women who have had a baby, stillborn child or miscarriage, women who are pregnant, or after weaning their child from breastfeeding. PMD can include any number of symptoms: obsessive-compulsive behavior, depression, anxiety, or anger. Lindsay Bagley, a licensed mental health counselor and masters-level therapist in Washington suggests that talking with a trusted friend is the first step in reaching out for help. Though you can’t diagnose PMD unless you are a professional, if you have a friend who you think is struggling after having a baby, there are ways that you can help her. 30

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2016

The Gift of a Nap Offer to babysit so that she can take a nap. Sleep not only helps ease symptoms of PMD, it will help any mom who is feeling the toll of sleep deprivation. If she is willing, take her baby out on a walk with your own little one or let her drop her baby off at your house. You can babysit while your child is busy playing or walking and she can take a nap back at her house or at yours.

Dinner’s on You Schedule a day and time when you can bring dinner to her house. Bringing dinner to a friend after she’s had a baby not only helps because it’s one less thing to try to do in the day, it can also help alleviate the surge in expenses that happens after a baby is born. These pressures can add to symptoms of PMD. If you are short on time, you can always pick up a premade chicken, bagged salad, slice up some apples and a frozen side dish or a homemade one. And don’t forget to throw in some chocolate!

Bring Coffee and Leave Judgments at the Door Bring her a cup of coffee or her favorite decaffeinated drink and listen to what she is feeling and experiencing right now. Don’t dismiss or try to solve her problems, but listen and let her feel heard. It might be hard to listen without trying to fix all her problems, but a listening ear is what she really needs right now. If she says something that truly concerns you, encourage her to reach out to a professional who can help her.

Share Your Experience Perhaps you've been through PMD yourself. If you feel you can, share your experience with her and let her know that she is not alone. Sharing your experience, Bagley says, can help others feel less isolated and alone. PMD can be a very misunderstood condition and undiagnosed for so many moms. Let your friend know that she deserves health and happiness.

Resources For Moms With PMD

Share your feelings with your OB or primary care doctor

Talk to supportive friends and family

Join a local parent/baby group

Contact PSI’s warm line for information and resources 1-800-944-4773.

Find a therapist who fits with your schedule, insurance, and specializes in PMD

Hook Her Up With a Community Did you have a baby group that helped you feel a part of a community? Perhaps you found one through the hospital, or perhaps there is a walking group or a mommy and me class that helped you meet other moms. Let your friend know which organizations and groups were helpful to you or that you have heard about. It is empowering to have the support of new moms with babies the same age as hers, who provide a community. There is a normalizing power to realize that other moms are going through the same challenges as well.

Help Her to Reach Out Further If your friend would like more support, she can start by contacting Post-partum Support International. PSI has a national “warm line” at 1-800-944-4773. This number is staffed by trained volunteers, some of whom have had PMD themselves. They quickly return the messages left on their confidential voicemail and can help with support, information, and resources. PSI also has information on local area coordinators who can give resource suggestions in the local area. Bagley says that if a friend thinks she may have PMD, it’s important to get help as soon as she can. Not because she needs to feel guilty, but because she is worth it.

It can be hard to just listen to a friend without trying to “fix” her. You may even feel like you’re not doing enough to make a difference. However, sharing your own story and being open about your experiences lets her know she is not alone. It also creates a better climate for others to share their thoughts and feelings. Sometimes helping a friend means being present with her through her storm and reminding her that she is not alone, it’s not her fault, and there is help.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY Y 2016

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