FAMILY Magazine October 2015

November 2015 • Moms Just Know • Free

Quality Time =

Quality Thanksgiving Fun

20 Ways to

Honor

Veteran’s Day The Other Side of

Adoption

Premature

Birth Awareness Serving: Granger • Mishawaka • Elkhart • South Bend • Goshen • Niles Edwardsburg • Middlebury & Surrounding Communities

Magazine is honored to highlight the 2016 class of Women to Watch!

SASSY

Women from all over Michiana were nominated by their peers, colleagues, friends and family for their embodiment of the sassy spirit, combining work, life, balance and sass—at home, in their communities and in the workplace.

We are truly pleased to bestow the honor of being named a 2016 Woman to Watch to all of these women who are working tirelessly to make a difference in the lives of others.

With an entire stack of nominations received, our panel had their work cut out for them to choose this year’s class—but these women all stood out for their professionalism, work ethic and spirit of volunteerism. These are all qualities that make up a SASSY woman—and will never go out of style!

Congratulations to all of our 2016 Women to Watch!

LISA BANASIEWICZ COOK

Indiana Sales Broker, Bounce Logistics South Bend

NOELLE ELLIOTT

Publicity & Concert Coordinator, Department of Music at University of Notre Dame, Blogger of BowChicaBowMom & Creator and Producer of The Mamalogues Notre Dame

SHERRY ENGLISH

ERIN HURST

MS, RDN, CD, CPT, Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, Certified Personal Trainer, Owner of Erin Hurst Nutrition & Wellness Mishawaka

NICOLE KORTE-KELLEY

Child & Family Therapist, Lincoln Counseling Center Mishawaka

KRISTINE LAIDLAW

Practice Manager, General & Vascular Surgery South Bend

Business Owner/CMT, Ray of Light Holistic Health, INC Elkhart

JULENE FRANZ

DENISE LONGLEY

Salon Owner/Salon Affiliate Coach, Fix Salon/Spa and Hello Gorgeous Elkhart

CHRISTINE CARON GEBHARDT Director of Gender Relations Center, University of Notre Dame Notre Dame

GAIL A. HICKEY

President/Owner, The Bend Executive Shuttle South Bend

REDGINA HILL

Director of Diversity & Inclusion, Bethel College Mishawaka

Events Coordinator, Hello Gorgeous! Of HOPE Inc Granger

JAMIE LEE MADISON

KELLEY PENROSE

Owner & Physical Therapist, Penrose Physical Therapy Granger

KATHY ANN REINHARDT

Sr. Vice President Relationship Manager, Key Bank South Bend

SHERY A. ROUSSAIRE

President & CEO, Allied Physicians of Michiana South Bend

VIRGIE L. SMITH

Breastfeeding Peer Counselor, WIC Office Memorial Prevent Child Abuse Program Director, Prevent Child Abuse St. Joseph County Mishawaka

RN House Supervisor & Adjunct Professor of Nursing & Business, IU Health Goshen Hospital Goshen

ANGELA SNIDER

SHAUN MCALLISTER

DENA WARGO

Teacher & Coach, Elkhart Community Schools Elkhart

KRISTINE OSTERDAY

Associate Attorney & Elkhart County Magistrate, Sanders Pianowski Elkhart

Legal Assistant, Jones Obenchain South Bend Assistant Director, Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Public Library Mishawaka

IN THE NEXT ISSUE:

Fit Mama

Contributors President & Publisher: Betsy Tavernier

Betsy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

If you would like your business and/or service to be included in the next issue, call The FAMILY Magazines at 574.387.5420 to reserve your space. Space is limited.

Managing Editor: Jessica Haviland

Jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

AD COORDINATOR & INSIDE SALES MANAGER

Amanda Oiler Amanda@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

GRAPHIC DESIGN Manager: Zuzanna Zmud

Zuzanna@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

Medical Editor: S. Jesse Hsieh, M.D. Distribution ManagerS: Leah Elick Family Magazines of Michiana would love to hear from you! Please submit press releases, event information and inquiries to: Jessy@Michianafamilymagazine.com The FAMILY Magazines P.O. Box 577 Granger, IN 46530 PH: 574.387.5420 • FX: 574.217.4700 www.MichianaMom.com The FAMILY Magazines November 2015 Established in 2006.

All rights reserved.

Permission from the publisher is required for any reproduction or reprint of this publication.

Read The FAMILY Magazines online each month!

Go to www.MichianaMom.com and flip the pages, cover-to-cover the organic and green way!

Volume 9: Number 11

Find the Hidden Acorn!

On the Cover:

For your enjoyment and fun!

Thank you Wesley and Warner of Mishawaka!

Ann Reiff is one of Michiana’s Premiere Real Life

Photographers. Her heart and soul define her style, as she is able to capture the moments we wish to always remember. Ann shoots all varieties of sessions at her studio in Southwest Michigan and also loves doing shoots on location.

Contact her at: www.studio513east.com ann@studio513east.com 269-228-0373

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TheFamilyMagazineOfMichiana @FamilyMagazines FamilyMagazine TheFamilyMag www.MichianaMom.com Please use the information compiled by Michiana Family Magazines for your research. Michiana Family Magazines recommends that parents and families interview each business or organization to make sure that it is safe and a good fit for your family. The information presented here and provided by Michiana Family Magazines is for informational purposes only and although every effort has been made to present accurate information, Michiana Family Magazines does not, in any way, accept responsibility for the accuracy of or consequences from the use of this information and/or for the businesses and organizations presented herein. We urge all parents and families to confirm any information given herein through additional research. The views and opinions expressed by the writers, event organizers and advertisers do not necessarily represent those of Michiana Family Magazines LLC, its officers, editors, staff or contributors.

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F R O M T H E P U B LI S HER

Things We

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Love

(at FAMILY)

Right Now!

Things

We Learned Making

The October Issue

1. Thankful Kids 2. Turkey 3. Pumpkin Roll 4. The Countdown to Christmas

1. Honor our veterans on November 11th.

Visit page 12 to see how you can honor those who have served.

5. Our Settlers

2. You get what you pay for. Check out our product review on kid shoes on page 32.

6. Rich, Dark Brown 7. Tranquility

3. Talk to your child about what to expect when baby arrives. See how you can make the transition easier on your kids before the newborn comes on page 24.

4. Keep your private matters private when it comes to your inlaws. Learn how you can keep a positive relationship with your husband’s parents on page 34.

5. Birth that occurs between 20 and 37 weeks of pregnancy is defined as preterm labor. Learn more about premature birth on page 26.

6. Adoption is not an easy decision on either parties.

Turn to page 14 to read how one mom made the difficult decision to place her child up for adoption.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2015

8. Board Games 9. Cyber Monday 10. Smells of Cinnamon & Nutmeg 11. Sweater Weather 12. Crafts & Projects 13. Giving Thanks

Check it Out!

Don’t forget to pick up your copy of the NEW SASSY & Boom Mag azine!

7. Construction begins on the new Memorial Children’s Hospital. Visit page 16 to learn what the new building will offer!

Novem

ber 2015

Social Protec Media tion What re Matte ally rS? coMM to thoSitted Who Se e rve

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4Keeps

By: Casey Kiel

Like '4Keeps' on Facebook or visit CaseyKiel.com

READER

tesitmonials “I love the Dear Mom column! It makes me laugh, cry and inspires me to be a better mother to my children.” – Jess B. “I was so nervous while I was pregnant with my daughter but reading the FAMILY Magazine has helped ease my concerns!” – Kourtney V. “I was fortunate to meet the FAMILY Magazine staff a few weeks ago.

It’s obvious that this magazine is so wonderful because the people behind it are amazing!” – Rebecca W.

the FAMILY magazine table

Of

contents

Family Fun

10 Quality Time Equals Quality Thanksgiving Fun By: Jackie Folkert

12 20 Ways To Honor Veteran’s Day By: Meagan Church

By: Meagan Church

Family Kids Live Your Best

4 7 Things We Learned Making This Issue 4 Things We Love Right Now 5 4Keeps Comic 7 Contributors 8 The FAMILY Month Calendar 20 Centerfold Calendar

Family Craft

7 Thanksgiving Turkey Cookies For The Kids!

By: Jill Lebbin

10

14 The Other Side Of Adoption

16 Not Just Another Building By: Dan Przybyla

28

22 Contentment Over Entitlement By: Meagan Church

Family Pregnancy

24 Introducing Child To Newborn By: Jamie Lober

26 Premature Birth Awareness By: Jamie Lober

24

SPECIAL SECTION:

Family Recipe

Christmas Break Fun

9 Mini Pumpkin Pies

28 Embracing The Winter Cold

By: Katie & Theresa Slott

By: Lara West

Family Book Review

Mommy and Daddy

36 Book Review: Sarah Gives Thanks

30 Dear Mom, Be Thankful For Your Envy

By Mike Allegra Reviewed By: Kate Rhoton

By: Meagan Church

Family Movie Review

32 Product Review: Kid Shoes

37 Holiday Break Movie Watch List

By: Lara West

By: Cole Pollyea

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34 Maintaining A Positive Relationship With Your In-Laws By: Noelle Elliott

38 Don’t Fall For Your Old Diet Tricks By: Sandra Gordon

FAMILY contributors

Meagan Church is married to her high-school sweetheart and is the mother of 3 kids.

She is a writer and children’s book author. She is also the brainpower of the online resource Unexpectant, exploring the realities of birth, babies and beyond.

Noelle Elliott works in publicity.

She is a writer and has been published on several websites and print publictaions. She is the owner and creator of the esteemed bowchicabowmom.com where she humorously shares the triumphs and failures of raising her four young sons. She is also the creator of the succesful local staged production, The Mamalogues. She happily lives in South Bend.

Jackie Folkert is a mother of three and lives in South Bend.

She is a freelance writer and an English teacher.

Jill Lebbin is a wife, mother, craft fanatic and DIY blogger at www.EveryDayisan Occasion.com. She and her husband Marcel have been married for five years and love living in Granger with their two spunky kids, Marcel Jr. and Lilly.

FAMILY craft

Thanksgiving Turkey Cookies

For The Kids!

Photos Provided By: Jill Lebbin

By: Jill Lebbin

Materials: • Nutter Butters • Candy Eyes • Squirt Frosting

• Archway Lemon Cookies • Red Icing • Yellow Icing

Steps:

1. Gather Supplies.

2. Squirt Frosting on back of Nutter Butter and place Nutter Butter on Lemon cookie 3. Squirt frosting on the back of eyes and place on Nutter Butter 4. Squirt yellow frosting on Nutter Butter to make mouth and Squirt red frosting to make the snood of the turkey.

5. Enjoy!

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2015

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1

29

Halloween Ghost Train & Fall Festival, 11:30 A.M., Hesston Steam Museum-La Porte

7

Fernwood Botanic Garden And Nature Preserve-Niles, MI

3

Tail Waggin Hayride,

U.S. General Election Day

11

Miracle On South Division Street, 2:00 P.M., Beckwith Theatre Company-Dowagiac, MI

13

Artisans Unleashed Fall Arts & Craft Show, 10:00 A.M., M. R. Falcons

7:30 P.M., Elkhart Civic Theatre-Bristol

21

Miracle On South Division Street, 7:30 P.M., Beckwith Theatre CompanyDowagiac, MI

7:30 P.M.-9:45 P.M., Century Center, Recital HallSouth Bend Meditation Yoga, 5:30 P.M.,

9

Elkhart Environmental Center

3:00 P.M., The Lerner-Elkhart

22

The Addams Family Musical,

Singing & Dancing Into The Holidays, 2015, A Merry Como Christmas,

Happy Thanksgiving!

5:00 P.M., Downtown St. Joseph-MI

9:00 A.M., St. Patrick’s County Park

7:00 P.M., Jimtown High School-Elkhart

6

26

Luminary Festival,

Mom And Me Pottery,

Harlem Wizards,

1:00 P.M., Bendix Woods County Park-New Carlisle

20

14

Holiday Market, 10:00 A.M.,

Contemporary Nutcracker,

National Adoption Day

17

25

27

Get Your Shopping On! Happy Black Friday!

Lunchtime Live! Free Movie: ELF-Presented By Edward Jones Investments, 11:00 A.M., The Lerner-Elkhart

Letters To Santa!, 7:00 A.M., Goshen Public Library

2 4 5 8 10 12 15 16 18 19 23 24 28 30 Su M Tu W Th F

Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F

Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M

Easy Two Ingredient Pumpkin Spice Cookies

Ingredients: • 1 (18.5 Ounce) Package Spice Cake Mix • 1 (15 Ounce) Can Solid Pack Pumpkin

Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease cookie sheet. In a large bowl, stir together the ingredients until well blended.

Drop spoonfuls onto the cookie sheet. Bake for 18 to 20 minutes. Enjoy!

Black Friday Shopping Tips Tis the season to start shopping and the biggest day of the year to start is Black Friday! Below are a few simple, yet always overlooked, tips to make the best of your shopping spree:

1. Do your research and browse for deals before you go! Some websites will have the sales ads “leaked” so you won’t have to spend all Thanksgiving looking over them.

2. Circle or highlight the items you want in each ad and bring the ads with you when you shop. Makes it easier (and quicker) to get in and out of the store.

3. Write down a schedule of which stores you want to stop by and the times they open. Make a plan of which store to hit first, second, third and so forth.

4. Always look for “Early Bird” and “Night Owl” specials.

Be Thankful (www.yourhomebasedmom.com)

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Gold Décor (www.upcycledtreasures.com)

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2015

The Thankful Tree (www.thethriftycouple.com)

5. Can’t find exactly what you are looking for in the store or your item got bought out? No worries because you always have Cyber Monday!

FAMILY recipe

mini

By: Katie & Theresa Slott

Pumpkin Pies Time: 30 minutes prep + 35-37 minutes baking Makes: 48 mini pumpkin pies Ingredients:

Steps:

Tips:

• 15 oz. pumpkin puree

1. Preheat the oven to 350F. Mix all ingredients in a large bowl with a spoon or spatula. Do not use an electric mixer or the mixture will be too runny.

• Use this large batch of mini pies for a school class treat!

• 2 eggs • 2 T. corn starch • 1/2 t. salt • 1 T. pumpkin pie spice • 1 c. sugar • 6 oz. evaporated milk • 2 unbaked pie crusts

2. Roll out the pie crust on a floured surface and use a 2 3/4 –inch circle cutter to cut out 48 circles, scraping and re-rolling as necessary.

Press pastry circles into two mini muffin pans sprayed with oil. Place a scant tablespoon of pumpkin mixture in each cup.

• This list of ingredients can also make one 9-inch pumpkin pie, using just one unbaked pie crust.

Bake at 400F for 15 minutes and then at 350F for 45 minutes more, or until knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

3. Bake for 35-37 minutes, rotating pans halfway through.

4. Remove to cool on a wire rack.

Katie and Theresa Slott are sisters-in-laws who write the food blog, Cooking for the Fam, where they share lots of tips, family-favorite recipes and meal plans. For more recipes like this one, or to see step-by-step photos of this recipe, check out their website, www.cookingforthefam.com.

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FAMILY fun

By: Jackie Folkert

Quality Time Equals

Quality Thanksgiving Fun

Grandma got creative one holiday when she directed us in a play about the pilgrims’ first Thanksgiving. I played the turkey; my big scene included running into the living room—gobbling, of course—so one of my cousins could shoot me dead and proclaim, “Now we shall have turkey.” It’s a priceless memory, right?

Always the busy cook on Thanksgiving, Grandma was glad she left the kitchen that year to play with us. The recipe for family fun on Thanksgiving calls for only two ingredients: time with a dash of creativity.

It’s the quality time spent with his family that he remembers from his childhood, said Jason Snyder, principal of Meadow’s Edge Elementary in South Bend and father of two. He is intentional about engaging with his kids—especially during the holidays.

“Take the time to slow down. We get so busy and the pace is frantic. It’s nice to have that holiday to really slow down and be in the moment,” he said. You don’t need to steal an idea from Pinterest to make the day special. Conversation at the dinner table is enough to create a lasting memory.

I Wonder

Snyder suggested the game I Wonder, which is the simple sharing of what each family member wonders. Why do dogs pant?

Why is Candy Crush so addicting? Why do the raccoons like our garbage cans better than the neighbors? Let the kids lead the discussion. The game naturally leads to researching the answer via a trip to the library. It’s an opportunity to reinforce the learning process by letting curiosity direct questioning and speculation. “We can take some time to wonder and question instead of jumping online,” Snyder said. “It’s powerful to hear them go through the thought process.” If you use paper placemats, children can illustrate their I Wonder choice. Tack their art to the refrigerator as a reminder to research the answers.

The Power Of Giving Back

Another icebreaker is the Attitude of Gratitude, or, the power of giving back. Snyder said that it is a theme in the elementary schools because research shows that gratefulness and happiness go hand in hand. He said, “It opens their eyes to not everything is about ‘me.’” Spark conversation about gratitude by spinning the game Show and Tell. Each person chooses an object that represents gratitude and shares about it at dinner. The object serves as a prop, but it also brings tangibility to the abstract idea.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2015

Be The Reporter

Inspire entertaining discussion with the game Reporter. Sharon Obert teaches first grade at Meadow’s Edge Elementary in South Bend. When her own kids were younger, they played Reporter on Thanksgiving Day to jumpstart conversations before dinner. Her son interviewed guests one-on-one, repeating the same questions with the same multiple-choice answers. Draft questions with your child that anyone can answer: What is your favorite Thanksgiving dessert?

For what are you the most thankful? Your child makes a tally mark next to the available answers. With the help of a clipboard, it is fun and easy to poll the party and report back the results during dinner.

Dinner Doodling

Prepping for dinner guests and having fun with the kids combine when you transform the dinner table into a blank canvas. Purchase a plain tablecloth and fabric markers, or roll out art paper lengthwise on top of your traditional one. Use stencils to make a pattern, or sketch place mats, place cards, etc. Leave behind colored pencils or markers for dinner guests to jot down why they’re thankful this year.

Personalized Place Cards

Paper place cards can be special, too, when your kids add their commentary. Obert suggested spicing up place cards with added text from the kids. Your kids write on the card what they appreciate about each person. When “you’re told you give great hugs. It makes you feel fantasic,” Obert said. The cards could become a guessing game if the kids direct guests to their seats one at a time by asking the group whom they guess is described as the best cookie baker or the one with a warm smile.

Thanksgiving Themed Games

If you want to splurge, browse online at sites such as Amazon.com for Thanksgiving themed games and toys. They run the gamut from Thanksgiving Bingo to a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Monopoly game. The Lego Thanksgiving Turkey would be fun for kids to build at a designated game table. In the same tone of the Ugly Christmas Sweater Party, challenge guests to wear quirky outfits (a headband with turkey drumsticks mimicking antlers). Provide foam bricks for football fans to hurl at the television when the referee makes a bad call.

When you brainstorm your Thanksgiving Day menu, consider serving up a fun activity for you and the kids.

The family may forget the delicious dinner you made, but they won’t forget the fun.

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FAMILY fun

20

Ways to Honor

Veteran’s

O

Day By: Meagan Church

n November 11, people around the nation will stop to honor those who have served to defend our country and our freedoms…or at least that’s the intention behind the day. As important as the day may be, people often don’t know how to show their appreciation and how to get their kids involved.

First, let’s start with a bit of a history lesson. Veteran’s Day came about after the end of World War 1. In 1918, France and England buried unknown soldiers in their highest places of honor. In England, that was Westminster Abbey and in France, the Arc de Triomphe. The ceremonies took place at 11:00 A.M. on the eleventh day of the eleventh month on what became known as “Armistice Day.” In 1921, the United States followed suit, laying to rest at Arlington Cemetery the remains of an unknown World War 1 soldier. In 1954, President Eisenhower signed a bill that changed the name to Veteran’s Day to honor all veterans— dead and living—who have served in the military.

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The question is: how do we stop to honor those who have served when we are so busy with everyday life? The answer is that displays of gratitude don’t have to be time consuming, but they can show those who served that their bravery matters.

MAKE A DIFFERENCE MAKE A LIVING

The following is a list of 20 ways to honor the day:  Attend a Veteran’s Day parade.  Call a family member who served and thank him/her for his/her service.  Write a letter to someone who is currently serving in the military.  Fly an American flag at your house.  Place flowers at the gravesite of a veteran.  Visit a veterans’ memorial.  Ask a veteran to tell his/her story.  Take a care package of non-perishable food and toiletries to a homeless veteran.  Donate to a non-profit that serves veterans.  Take dinner to a homebound veteran.  Write a thank you card to a veteran you know.  Pray for those who are currently serving.  Observe a moment of silence in honor of those who have served.  Read the poem “In Flander’s Fields” by John McCrae.

BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!

Check out this great opportunity for Birthday Fun!

 Tell your children about your family members who have served in the military.  Discuss what it means to be an American.  Watch a patriotic movie.  Take a moment to listen to the song “Taps.”  Tell family members of someone who is actively serving that you appreciate their loved one’s service.  Hug a veteran or someone who is actively serving.

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FAMILY kids By: Meagan Church

The Other Side of

Adoption

What one mother wishes you knew about placing a child for adoption.

Meghan Esau’s senior year of high school was not how she imagined it would be. “When I first found out, my initial reaction was a state of shock, which is to be expected at the age of 17 when starting your senior year of high school. You don’t expect to be thrown a curve ball of, ‘Hey, you’re going to be carrying a child,’” Meghan said. “There was a period of grieving where I had to come to the realization that my childhood had ended in one swift movement. I went from being a carefree, very free, 17-year-old to a pregnant 17-year-old.”

After receiving the results, Meghan told her boyfriend and her parents.

She didn’t know exactly what to do, but for her there were two options: keep the baby or put her up for adoption. Meghan began researching adoption and found a family she thought would be a good fit, but when they received a placement the day before her agent contacted them, Meghan reconsidered.

“I took it as God closing that door,” she said. Then she started considering keeping the baby. “I just thought I’m going to figure out a way to make this happen. I can do this. I can do this. My mom sat me down with all the costs of having a kid. She made me figure out rent and food, and how much I was bringing in. We put together a budget and I realized I just couldn’t make it work.”

Meghan turned her attention back to adoption. “Somewhere in all that, God put it in my heart that she was never going to be mine. I never felt that happy, ‘Oh, my gosh! I’m having a baby!’ That was never really my situation.”

Meghan poured through more couple’s profiles and eventually found a new family. “Once I met them and I knew they were the ones. They felt like family. It felt the whole time like I was carrying their baby.”

That was 11 years ago.

Being on the other side, as the parent who chose to place her baby with another family, Meghan has a few things that she wishes other people knew about adoption.

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I had my doubts.

“Once she was there, I wasn’t totally convinced,” she said. By law, Meghan had to wait three days before signing the adoption papers, so during that time, she spent a lot of waking hours with the baby. “I actually had a moment after my boyfriend signed his papers that I kicked everyone out of my hospital room, except my parents. I almost didn’t sign my papers. Part of me wanted to know her and have those memories with her. Now that she’s 11 and we don’t get any communication from them anymore, all I have are those three days.”

It’s lonely.

“I don’t think I had any clue what was happening. I felt the shame and embarrassment of the situation. Being pregnant in high school is a very weird situation,” she said. “You don’t know what’s normal with pregnancy and you don't have peers to ask or talk about it with.”

It’s a grieving process.

“It was a painful situation. I grew a child for nine months that I chose to place for adoption.

It’s a grieving process.” Meghan continued, “My relationship with my grief would change. But there is no moving on from placing an adoption.

It’s your child and it’s one of those things that sticks with you forever.”

There is a stigma.

“There is a negative stigma for parents who place a child for adoption. When it’s a parent who adopts, everyone says, ‘You’re amazing! You’re amazing that you are raising someone else’s baby.’ But they don't’ think about the birth mom.

She made the choice to save that baby’s life. She found a place for her child.”

I don’t regret it.

“After 11 years, I don’t regret a thing. I still cry.

There are still days, but I don’t regret it,” she said.

“They are giving her the life I couldn’t. That's the thing about 17; I wasn’t emotionally equipped to parent a baby at that age. To see now, years in the future, that they have done just that is wonderful.”

Healing does come.

“Healing does come,” said Meghan, who now has two daughters with her husband. “I am at a point where I don’t feel like my heart is missing something anymore. I’ve reached a point where I’ve said, ‘This is our family and that’s okay.’ It didn’t happen after our first baby, but after our second one, I realized I do have two babies and I’m good.”

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FAMILY kids

Not Just

Another Building

Construction Begins on New Home for Memorial Children’s Hospital By: Daniel Przybyla

The secret’s out – there is a children’s hospital in Michiana. It still comes as a surprise to some that Memorial Children’s Hospital – the only comprehensive children’s hospital within a two-hour radius of South Bend – exists. Since the Children’s Hospital isn’t contained inside its own freestanding facility or even a designated section of the hospital, you can more readily understand their position.

But that’s all changing – forever!

Along with the generosity of philanthropists from across our region, Beacon Health System is investing $50 million to enhance children’s health care services in our region by building a new home for Memorial Children’s Hospital. The 100,000-square-foot expansion above the existing Memorial Childbirth Center is slated to open in 2017. Construction on the three-story addition began this summer.

Every day, Memorial Children’s cares for the tiniest of babies to children with diabetes, developmental disabilities, asthma, epilepsy and cancer.

The new facility will allow the staff to care for an even broader range of injuries and illnesses and will include a growing number of pediatric specialists and subspecialists, including: • Neonatology

• Cardiology

• Hematology/oncology

• Neurology

• Pulmonology

• Clinical psychology

• Infectious disease

• Endocrinology

• Sleep medicine

• Gastroenterology

• Behavioral and developmental pediatrics

• Hospitalists

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• Intensivists

Photos Provided By: Memorial Children's Hospital

Welcome home Memorial Children’s Hospitals serves as the regional referral center for 28 area hospitals across southwest Michigan and north central Indiana. The expansion will have a look and feel that will bring comfort and healing to the more than 3,800 children treated every year.

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“The general pediatric rooms and Pediatric Intensive Care Unit rooms will be acuity adaptable – we will have the ability to adjust the spaces as patients’ conditions change,” says Jen Tonkovich, R.N., BSN, CPN, Pediatrics Unit Director.

Because the well-being of families is important to the staff, each patient room will include a private bathroom and a shower, for example, as well as truly comfortable furniture for two parents to stay overnight.

Large windows and a central atrium will allow natural light to suffuse patient rooms, and garden views will enhance experiences for patients, families and staff. Welcome lobbies, play spaces and gathering rooms will offer the opportunity for respite from patientcare rooms.

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For more information on all these programs please visit our website:

www.SkiSwissValley.com 13421 Mann Street, Jones, MI 49061 269-244-5635

The new Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU) will be the first one in the country built with the extra space and special design needed to offer couplet care for even the most critically ill babies. The practice of keeping families and babies together throughout their hospital stay originated in Sweden and is thought to enhance bonding via skin-to-skin contact, among other benefits. Some couplet care is now available at Memorial and, once the new NICU is in place, world-renown neonatologist Robert White, M.D., anticipates conducting research on the practice with colleagues from the University of Notre Dame.

GAIRFDTS C

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* Parent passes available when you purchase either a Valley Kids Frequent Visitor Card or an Unlimited Season Pass for your child and are making your first ever Swiss Valley Season Pass purchase.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2015

17

FAMILY kids The New Memorial Children’s Hospital at Glance: • 9 pediatric hematology/oncology infusion rooms • 23 general pediatrics patient rooms • 12 pediatric intensive care unit patient rooms • 9 NICU couplet care rooms • 21 NICU private, single family rooms • A two-story atrium providing natural light to patient rooms • A roof garden and terrace • The Butterfly Room, a sanctuary for families to gather with their critically ill child during the final hours of his or her life’s journey

“We will see if couplet care reduces parental stress, improves parental bonding, enhances breastfeeding with all of its benefits, and leads to reduced infections and improved growth in the babies,” Dr. White explains. “I expect that if our model of couplet care for virtually all NICU babies is successful, it will become the standard of care throughout the developed world within the next 20 years.”

Long Time Coming An expanded Memorial Children’s Hospital has been talked about for more than a handful of years. The lack of single family rooms, cramped space and services spread part across the hospital have made it challenging for patients and medical staff alike.

How to Give For information about Shine: The Campaign for Memorial Children’s Hospital, please contact Memorial Health Foundation at 574.647.6613. Online gifts may be made at https://qualityoflife.org/childrenshospital/ shine-for-kids/. You can also donate by texting “Beacon Kids” to 20222.

“In spite of the physical-space challenges we face, what we have here is a world-class children’s hospital … pretty remarkable, considering that there’s nothing about this place that was built for kids,” says Kate Dutkiewicz, M.D., Medical Director of the Pediatric Hospitalist Program.

“Fact is, Memorial Children’s is a rehabbed adult unit, with parts of it built as far back as the 50’s. Thankfully, because of the caliber of advanced technology and medical expertise found here, we’re able to provide the same level of care you’d expect only at a big-city children’s hospital. So just imagine what we can become when we have a new designed-just-for-kids facility.”

Thanks to the support of many throughout the region, what has been imagined for so long will become a reality in 2017. And for people like Jeffrey and Jenni Blye, and Jocelyn Bell, whose children have received life-saving services at Memorial, the new Children’s Hospital will be a blessing to many for years to come.

Jocelyn is excited about the expansion because she believes it is greatly needed “to treat these precious little people in our lives.” Her 10-year-old daughter Hannah receives chemotherapy for t-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Like so many other families, the Bells appreciate the level of care and kindness at Memorial.

“Memorial means family to me,” says Jocelyn. “It means having a support system in those that take care of my child and me when family is so far away.”

“Time and again we've entrusted our daughter's life into the hands of Memorial's staff and every time they've not just been a health care team, they have been our extended family,” explains Jenni, whose daughter Katie Joy, 2, received care for spina bifida at Memorial. “Families need hope and room to be able to be real people while receiving the top-quality care at Memorial Children’s Hospital. Already Memorial offers the best care in the area. It is the natural step to take to have the best facilities to match the best doctors and nurses.”

A Rockin’ Holiday Auction In our region, Memorial Children’s Hospital has the only: • Ground and air pediatric emergency transport • High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine Program • 24/7 Pediatric Hospitalist Program • Level III NICU • Ground and air newborn transport emergency transport team • Pediatric Intensive Care Unit • Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Program

ESC Fundraiser Auction Music by Vyagra Falls Price $40 per person hors d’oeuvres stations, cash bar Saturday, December 5th, 2015, 5:30 p.m.

Our Lady of the Lake social hall 24832 U. S. 12 East, Edwardsburg, MI For tickets and information visit our website: edwardsburgsportscomplex.org or contact Patty Patzer 574-903-5228 Proceeds from this event will build the first nature inspired playground at ESC

• Comprehensive pediatric outpatient programs (13) • Continuous Renal Replacement Therapy for critical pediatric patients • Child Life Program THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2015

19

The Lerner-Elkhart

4th Annual Choral Tapestry, 3:30 P.M.,

11:30 A.M., Hesston Steam Museum-La Porte

Halloween Ghost Train & Fall Festival,

1

7:45 P.M., Goshen Theater

Zumba Fitness Class,

2

3

U.S. General Election Day

The History MuseumSouth Bend

Fantastic Facial Hair, 10:00 A.M.,

4 6:30 P.M., PHM Digital Video Theater/ Planetarium-Mishawaka

Into The Deep,

– John Clayton

being thankful and expressing that appreciation to God and to one another.”

7:00 P.M., Century CenterSouth Bend

The History MuseumSouth Bend

Hoosiers: A New History Of South Bend, 7:00 P.M.,

“Meet The Artists” Promotional Concert,

5

Elkhart Civic Theatre-Bristol

The Addams Family Musical, 7:30 P.M.,

7:30 P.M.-9:45 P.M., Century Center, Recital HallSouth Bend

Singing & Dancing Into The Holidays, 2015, A Merry Como Christmas,

6

“Thanksgiving is a time when the world gets to see just how blessed and how workable the Christian system is. The emphasis is not on giving or buying but on

2015

Fall Holliday Bazaar,

8:00 A.M. – 2:00 P.M., Calvary United Methodist Church-Elkhart

Tail Waggin Hayride, 1:00 P.M., Bendix Woods County Park-New Carlisle

Holiday Market, 10:00 A.M., Fernwood Botanic Garden And Nature Preserve-Niles, MI

Trinity Christmas Bazaar, 8:00 A.M. – 2:00 P.M., Trinity Lutheran ChurchElkhart

7

November

Scan this QR Code to get connected to our online calendar at MichianaMom.com!

Want to check out even more things to do in Michiana?

4:00 P.M., IUSB Administration BuildingSouth Bend

Miracle On South Division Street,

The Lerner-Elkhart

South Bend Chocolate Café-South Bend

Live Music, 6:30 P.M.,

Contemporary Nutcracker, 3:00 P.M.,

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M. R. Falcons

Artisans Unleashed Fall Arts & Craft Show, 10:00 A.M.,

2:00 P.M., Beckwith Theatre Company-Dowagiac, MI

22

Elkhart Civic Theatre-Bristol

The Addams Family Musical, 3:00 P.M.,

15

1:00 P.M., St. Patrick’s County Park-South Bend

Geocache Chili Dump,

South Bend Youth Symphony Orchestra,

8

7:00 A.M., Goshen Public Library

Letters To Santa,

5:30 P.M., Elkhart Environmental Center

Meditation Yoga,

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23

Stay At Home Because You Are Well Day

7:00 A.M., Goshen Public Library

Letters To Santa!,

Goshen Theater

– Dr. Seuss

“How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before its afternoon.

December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flown. How did it get so late so soon?”

DEC 1

– Oprah Winfrey

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

24

7:00 A.M., Goshen Public Library

Letters To Santa!,

Zumba Fitness Class, 7:45 P.M.,

Little Sprouts: Wiggly Worms,

10:00 A.M., Wellfield Botanic Gardens-Elkhart

17

7:00 A.M., Tolson CenterElkhart

Build A Community Benefit Breakfast,

6:00 P.M., Lakeland Medical Center-St. Joseph, MI

Breastfeeding Class For Moms and Dads,

10

Woodlawn Nature CenterElkhart

Woodlawn Nature Preschool, 9:30 P.M.,

16

9 Harlem Wizards,

Season Of Light,

6:30 P.M., PHM Digital Video Theater/PlanetariumMishawaka

2

11:00 A.M., The Lerner-Elkhart

7:30 P.M., DeBartolo Performing Arts CenterNotre Dame

Little Shop Of Horrors,

Lunchtime Live!

Free Movie: ELF-Presented

By Edward Jones Investments,

25

18

Veteran’s Day

7:00 P.M., The History Museum-South Bend

The Gallery After Dark: Amelia Earhart,

7:00 P.M., Jimtown High School-Elkhart

11

Randy HouserWe Went Tour,

8:00 P.M., Morris Performing Arts CenterSouth Bend

Rat Pack Christmas,

3

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7:30 P.M., Morris Performing Arts Center-South Bend

19

7:30 P.M., Everest Rohrer Auditorium, Bethel CollegeMishawaka

A Christmas Carol-Adapted By Jaqueline Goldfinger From The Novel By Charles Dickens,

12

Luminary Festival,

Baking Spirits Bright!

Lory’s Place Crew Cookie Walk,

Wellfield Botanic GardensElkhart

Where’s Santa?

Holiday Hunt, 6:00 P.M.,

5:00 P.M.-9:00 P.M., Corner of State and Broad StreetsSt. Joseph, MI

4

Black Friday!

Happy

Get Your Shopping On!

27

7:30 P.M., Elkhart Civic Theatre-Bristol

The Addams Family Musical,

5:00 P.M., Downtown St. Joseph-MI

20

Beckwith Theatre CompanyDowagiac, MI

Miracle On South Division Street, 7:30 P.M.,

Elkhart Civic Theatre-Bristol

The Addams Family Musical, 7:30 P.M.,

13

Reindog Holiday Parade,

4:00 P.M., Downtown St. Joseph, MI

Holiday Open House,

10:00 A.M. – 1:00 P.M., BellaNova Women’s Health-St. Joseph, MI

7:00 P.M., The Lerner-Elkhart

Contemporary Nutcracker,

Downtown Three Oaks, MI

Van Dyke Revue, 9:00 P.M.,

The Lerner-Elkhart

My Sinatra, 8:00 P.M.,

NIBCO Water & Ice Park-Elkhart

2015 Ugly Holiday Sweater Run & Walk, 2:00 P.M.,

5

28

National Adoption Day

Holiday Open House,

9:00 A.M., Holiday Bazaar-Mishawaka

Holiday Bazaar,

Mom And Me Pottery,

9:00 A.M., St. Patrick’s County Park

8:30 A.M., Osceola United Methodist Church

Holiday Fantasy Bazaar,

Jennifer Nettles,

8:00 P.M., The Lerner-Elkhart

9:00 A.M., Zahl’s Elevator And Feed MillNew Carlisle

21

14

FAMILY kids

Contentment Over

Entitlement Three ways to teach your child to be grateful By: Meagan Church

N

ovember is a month to give thanks. It’s also a month to fine tune wish lists, while counting down to Christmas. Of course, if your kids are like mine, the first draft of those wish lists was probably written months ago.

Parents want to raise grateful kids who appreciate what they have, and yet we all have moments of realizing that somewhere along the way, a sense of entitlement has crept in. Let’s face it; most of us don’t have little Laura Ingalls who would be delighted to receive a cup, a penny, a heart-shaped cake and a candy cane for Christmas.

Oftentimes, kids need to be encouraged towards gratitude because it is not something that is inherent in them. Yes, I’m sure most kids would be grateful if they received the latest gaming system for Christmas. But what if they found a penny under the tree? Or what if they were content with what already fills their rooms?

Lisa DeJesus and her husband Bruno have worked hard at teaching their three boys to be grateful. She is quick to say, “My little men still struggle with wanting more, things not being ‘fair’ and with ungratefulness in general, but overall I feel like they are more content than the average 9-to-11-year-olds.”

Looking back over their more than a decade of parenting, Lisa pin-pointed three things that she believes have helped her little men be more grateful.

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Cultural Awareness From early toddlerhood, all three boys have traveled to different countries, sometimes visiting family and other times on mission trips. “One of the reasons they have learned to be grateful is because of us going to Nicaragua, Mexico and Brazil, and seeing people have very limited things in life, but they are some of the happiest people we have met,” Lisa said. “This has taught my boys that it is not things that bring us joy, but our relationship with Jesus and the people we surround ourselves with.”

Intentional Friendships Friends can greatly influence one another, so careful choices about whom our children surround themselves with can make a big impact. “I think that constant voice of the world in our ear telling us who we should be and what we should have makes a big difference,” Lisa said. “So, as our boys have gotten older and are being more influenced by friends and TV, we stress to them how important it is to surround themselves with people who will build them up.”

“Oftentimes, kids need to be encouraged towards gratitude because it is not something that is inherent in them.”

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NOVEMBER 21 • 7:30PM DECEMBER 11 & 12 • 7:30PM DECEMBER 13 • 3PM

CALL FOR TICKETS

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Owning Nothing The DeJesus’ are not extreme minimalists, but they do believe in sharing what they have, instead of giving ownership of an item to one person. “Our boys and family share everything, even birthday and Christmas gifts that have been given to just one person.

We talk about them as if they belong to anyone who needs it. We feel this takes away the idea of being entitled to having anything.

As a result, anything we get is a blessing, so we should be incredibly grateful for it.”

Raising gracious children rarely happens by accident, but with a bit of focused intentionality, parents can guide children to being more grateful. They still may not appreciate a heart-shaped cake as a Christmas gift, but perhaps they will start showing traces of contentment over entitlement.

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FAMILY pregnancy

By: Jamie Lober

Introducing Child to Newborn When planning to introduce your child to your family’s new addition it is important to consider his age and maturity level. The one thing that is truly essential is to make sure that he/she is involved on your pregnancy journey and has a role to play.

“Being a mother of five, I know how important it is to really talk to the other siblings throughout the pregnancy so they know what is happening, maybe take them to some of your prenatal visits and if they have questions there are a lot of good picture books out there,” said Keely Paston, administrative director for maternal child services at St. Joseph Mishawaka Medical Center.

For the child who is eager to learn and step up in the family, there are sibling classes offered at the local hospital which can be a great opportunity for kids to express their feelings about the newborn coming and to learn how to hold a newborn or take on small tasks. Your place of worship might offer group settings where your kids can receive much-needed social and emotional support during the adjustment period.

Just because a newborn enters the scene does not make the other children any less significant. “The big thing is to make the siblings feel very special too so we encourage the family units to stay together after delivery so that the mom, support person, baby and other siblings are allowed to be in that room with mom and see what is going on, see the baby after birth and feel like they are the helper so they can be excited too,” said Paston.

Some kids want to make a difference while others may act out or feel jealous. “Some help pick out the baby’s name and you may ask them if they want to be involved in taking care of the baby because it can make them feel important and like they are needed,” said Pamela Dziadosz, manager of the family birthplace at St. Joseph Mishawaka Medical Center. Some parents may even choose to put some of their kids’ artwork on the walls of the baby’s room as a way of making them feel more valued.

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There are so many ways kids can make the transition easier on the family. “They can help change diapers, pick out outfits, hold the baby or support the baby’s head if he is feeding,” said Paston. It may be helpful to visit friends who have infants so your kids can see what it is like and how others may chip in at home.

Talking about what to expect can make your child feel at ease.

“Sometimes especially when the child is younger than two they are thrown off because mom is not home and they are feeling the loss of mom for 48 hours after a vaginal delivery or 72 hours after a c-section, so the nurse should reinforce that mom is healthy and everything is good,” said Paston.

This can help the child feel better about the situation. Some kids are armed with more information than others. “Some families are having gender parties where they have a big celebration, bring the ultrasound to the bakery and bake either a pink or blue cake and everyone comes to find out the gender of the baby,” said Dziadosz.

Following the mom’s progress can be exciting as well. “Some people show their little ones pictures of where the baby is at during the different stages of development but it depends on the child’s age, development and whether he is interested or not,” said Dziadosz.

Be as inclusive as possible. Naturally guests may come and bring presents for the baby so it can be a good idea to stock up on a few small gifts for the siblings as well so they do not feel left out. If the baby is given a toy like a rattle you may ask an older sibling to test is so he feels important.

“Just because a newborn enters the scene does not make the other children any less significant.”

If you get a sling and wear your newborn it may free you up to be able to play games or do other activities with the rest of the kids in your home. Sometimes you may find there is sibling rivalry and of course should never leave an angry or aggressive child alone with the baby. If you take a lot of pictures or videos of the baby, make sure you are taking a lot of pictures and videos of your other kids too.

Make the newborn a family affair. “Enroll your kids in the care, show them one-on-one attention and focus on them for a while without the baby,” said Paston. You may read your older child a few extra bedtime stories or take him out to the movies or something he enjoys without the newborn. If none of your kids are left out and everyone takes part in the transition, you should be okay. “As long as you include all of the siblings with the new member of the family and be excited and enthusiastic about it, I think the emotions of the parent really affect the acceptance of the children to the new baby and for the most part it is very positive,” said Dziadosz.

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12:25 PM

FAMILY pregnancy

Premature Birth

Awareness By: Jamie Lober

“The good news is that the number is dropping.”

T

he American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists defined preterm birth as a birth that occurs between 20 and 37 weeks of pregnancy and defined preterm labor as regular contractions of the uterus resulting in changes in the cervix that start before 37 weeks of pregnancy.

It is worrisome when babies are born between 20 and 37 weeks of pregnancy because they may not be fully developed and are prone to health issues.

“Preterm babies can have problems feeding, problems keeping temperatures, have lung problems or major complications in development like infections and sometimes even developmental delay,” said Dr. Zhiquan Zhao, obstetrician/ gynecologist at Ob/Gyn Associates of Northern Indiana and laborist with St. Joe Health System.

While preterm birth is an issue across the country, our state is slowly but surely making some progress on their report card. “On average there are 9,828 babies born in five different northern counties and 958 of them are born early,” said Melanie Kellogg of the March of Dimes in Michiana and South Bend. The good news is that the number is dropping. “It used to be in one in eight babies and now we are one in 10,” said Kellogg.

Fortunately the medical community is learning more about preterm birth and trying to make pregnancy a smoother journey. “We push for every baby in Indiana to be tested with newborn screening and are funding research to figure what in your body tells you to have a contraction and what is going on because a lot of people’s bodies push the baby out at 23 weeks which is halfway done,” said Kellogg.

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Some women are more predisposed to preterm birth than others.

“Common risk factors include smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, using drugs like cocaine or heroin, having a preexisting medical condition like diabetes, chronic renal disease or high blood pressure, frequent infections and a strong family or personal history of preterm delivery,” said Zhao. Other risk factors are having a short cervix or a short interval between pregnancies and should be shared with the obstetrician so he can act accordingly.

There is a lot you can do to increase your chance of a healthy pregnancy. “Optimization should include smoking cessation, cutting out alcohol consumption, not using drugs, getting physical exercise and feeling confident that you are healthy before you proceed to conceive,” said Zhao. Low-impact activities like swimming and walking are wonderful and you should stay away from high-impact aerobics and contact sports where you are more likely to get injured.

Try to get plenty of rest and sleep on your side with your knees bent so you are most comfortable.

The best kept secret lies in the importance of getting good prenatal care and knowing what is normal versus atypical during pregnancy. “Some women commonly complain about back pain, feel tightening in the uterus, have increased vaginal discharge or vaginal bleeding and those are all signs they should share with their providers,” said Zhao.

The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists listed the signs and symptoms of preterm labor as change in type or increase in amount of vaginal discharge; pelvic or lower abdominal pressure; constant low, dull backache; mild abdominal cramps with or without diarrhea; regular or frequent contractions or uterine tightening that is often painless; and ruptured membranes where your water breaks.

Maintaining open dialogue with your obstetrician is critical. “The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has endorsed the recommendation for universal cervix screening around 20 weeks of pregnancy and if someone has a shortened cervix we may offer vaginal progesterone to reduce the risk of preterm delivery,” said Zhao. If someone had preterm delivery in the past, it may be suggested to have a weekly progesterone injection starting at around 15 or 16 weeks.

There are measures that can be taken based on gestational age to promote the best possible outcome. “At 34 weeks we want to offer steroids to help with fetal lung maturity and we offer different antibiotic coverage for certain infections,” said Zhao. Under 32 weeks, magnesium sulfate may be administered to reduce the risk of cerebral palsy.

“Maintaining open dialogue with your obstetrician is critical.”

Preterm labor is basically identified through changes in the cervix which are often noticed through something as simple as a pelvic exam or monitoring contractions. A transvaginal ultrasound is one way of measuring the length of the cervix and sometimes the obstetrician may choose to measure the level of fetal fibronectin, a protein in the vaginal discharge, because it can be associated with preterm birth.

Remember that medications can often be given to delay birth and just because someone experiences preterm labor does not mean they will necessarily have a preterm delivery. Drugs called tocolytics can delay delivery up to 48 hours which in some instances is just enough time to get corticosteroids or magnesium sulfate or to be transported to a medical center that specializes in high risk pregnancies for the best care.

Being armed with information can make things easier. “Some women with a history of preterm delivery will be nervous and ask what they can do to prevent it from happening so we offer as much information as possible,” said Zhao. Usually you can expect a team of healthcare providers to be at your side that includes a neonatologist which is the fancy name for the doctor who specializes in treating problems in newborns. Pre-conception counseling is highly encouraged and together with your partner, family and obstetrician, you can enter your labor feeling comfortable and ready.

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FAMILY christmas break fun

Embracing

The Winter Cold By: Lara West

Things To Do With Your Kids On A Snowy Day There’s a reason why life seems a little less exciting during the winter, and that’s because it usually is. We could zip off into the sky and retreat to our favorite Caribbean beach, but who has the money for that on Christmas Break?

I know that sounds a lot more exciting than bundling up with a coat, scarf, mittens and boots every time you step outside, but it’s a guaranteed cold for us here.

Unfortunately, the outside gatherings of lounging in the yard or at the park come to a halt. This means meeting up at the park is no longer an option, because it’s too cold to have the children out for too long, and someone has to clean the house and extend the invite.

The good news is that you don’t have to stay in with the family to enjoy this winter recess together.

Here is a list of fun and affordable things to do this winter with your family:

1. Volunteer – You can ladle soup and wash dishes at a community kitchen together, help prepare for and entertain at a nursing home holiday party, ring bells for the Salvation Army kettles, or help with gift distribution.

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2. Ice Skating – Show off your skills by lacing up a pair of skates and gliding around one of the outdoor rinks at Merrifield Complex or Howard Park for just a few dollars each.

3. Skiing – You will really be embracing the winter cold by strapping into a pair of boots and riding the slopes. Don’t fret if a downhill race isn’t your cup of cocoa, because country skiing is just as much fun. You can rent equipment at St. Patrick’s County Park (skis) or Wilson Park (tubes).

4. Spectator Sports – Stay warm if you prefer by checking out the local sporting events. Notre Dame makes for a great source of entertainment with men and women’s basketball, hockey and volley ball.

5. Cruise Christmas Lights – Keep warm by the car heater by

spending a lovely night cruising the surrounding neighborhoods and being amazed by the effort they put into decorating their homes for the holiday.

6. Year-Round indoor fun – Stay warm indoors and continue to get all the exercise your family needs. Feel the wind in your hair while you zoom around the roller rink, or at the very least, you can enjoy watching your children do so (visit www.kidsskatefree.com for two (2) free passes per kid every week!) Work those biceps by visiting the bowling alley and pump out a few strikes and spares.

There are plenty of ways to make this Christmas break fun while staying inside, but why keep the family at the house every day when you can get out and have fun together with no mess and no tempting screens? Make this break fun and affordable by getting out and staying active this winter.

S C S

THE

STANLEY CLARK SCHOOL

ESSE Q UAM VIDERI

You're Invited!

COMMUNITY OPEN HOUSE November 12, 5:00pm-7:00pm Preschool 3-Grade 8 www.stanleyclark.org THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2015

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FAMILY mommy & daddy

Dear Mom,

Be Thankful for Your

Envy

By: Meagan Church

Dear Mom, So my three-year-old has this adorable phrase she uses when she has asked for something, but has been told she won’t receive it: “but I want it.” Okay, maybe “adorable” isn’t the correct term. Perhaps “annoying” is more appropriate.

She whines those four words as if, because of her proclamation, her father and I will change our minds. Because she has whined her injustice, we will permit her to bring home every stuffed animal she sees at the store. Or, we will shower down marshmallows upon her as if she is one of those bear things in “The Lorax.” Or, maybe, just maybe, if she puts enough emphasis on the word “want,” we will let her adopt every kitten she sees, encouraging her towards a future as a crazy cat lady.

As frustrating as it can be to hear her declare those words, that phrase has taught me something: she only envies what she is passionate about. She doesn’t ask to consume massive amounts of kale. She doesn’t request to stockpile lizards. She breaks out that phrase when it is something she really enjoys.

“Envy can show you a truth that has perhaps been long hidden.”

Now envy might not be something that we typically encourage, but it can actually be a good thing. Hear me out; recently I was talking with a mom who is tired. She is exhausted from life. She wants more, but she feels pulled in so many directions. She wants to live well and with passion and purpose, but she doesn’t know exactly what that means or looks like.

When we are kids, passion seems much easier to define. But as we get older, passion often takes a backseat to every day life, to paying bills, making dinner, changing diapers and carpooling. After a while, it can be hard to remember what it is that we really want other than to take a nap. That’s where envy comes in.

As Glennon Melton of Momastery said, “Envy might be admiration that is bottled up.”

Think about it this way; you don’t envy what you don’t like. For instance, Alaska may be a beautiful state, but I don’t envy anyone who vacations or lives there. I prefer distance between myself and snow. Now, Hawaii is a different story. Sand, beaches, sunsets and palm trees calm and center me. Throw in a hammock and you have my perfect happyplace scenario. So, if I’m scrolling through Instagram, while I might appreciate a picture from an Alaskan cruise, I won’t feel the same sense of longing to be there as I would from a sunset landscape of Pacific waves cresting and breaking.

While we are not meant to live from a place of desiring what others have, being tuned in to what causes that envy to build might just be our ticket to finding our passion. We don't long for what we have no desire for. We want what makes our heart beat faster.

So maybe that twinge you feel as you scroll through social media can be useful. It’s not a reason to feel disgruntled or inferior. It’s a way of finding that deeper sense of who you are. Maybe it means you want to be a stay-at-home mom or you long to go back to work. Maybe you wish you could run a 5K or take a barre class. Perhaps you always wished to be a teacher, a writer, a musician or a world changer.

Envy can show you a truth that has perhaps been long hidden. So give thanks when you feel it. Make friends with that sense of frustration, but then move on, gather your courage and resolve to not live from that state of discontent. It’s not enough to whine, “But I want it!” It’s time to take action and live out that purpose. Because to live from that state of envy will only bring frustration, but to learn from it could open up the life you’ve been longing for.

Specializing in pediatrics, MOTC is committed to providing exceptional care, offering a full range of orthotic and prosthetic solutions. We strive to meet our clients’ needs in a way

2015

is winding down!

Be sure to call and schedule an appointment before the end of the year.

that enhances their independence, mobility and quality of life. Contact MOTC to see how our clinicians can play a role in helping you discover your full potential.

South Bend Office: 17530 Dugdale Dr. South Bend, IN | 574.233.3352 | midwestorthotics.com THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2015

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FAMILY mommy & daddy

Product Review: Kid

Shoes By: Lara West

N

othing excites me quite like browsing the store to find items that are so similar in functionality, and yet, on such opposite ends of the pricing spectrum. I try to stay away from items that are largely based on a personal preference, such as foods, but I have abandoned this notion to examine the very soles that protect our feet, our shoes.

If you’re wondering why I struggled with comparing shoes, it is because I know the price doesn’t make a difference to the comfort of a lot of people, and the comfort is subject to a personal preference for what feels nice on our individual feet. However, I stumbled across a pair of $3 nobrand shoes for my daughter and just had to buy for them. (Name brand or not, passing up $3 shoes is crazy…or is it?)

For this test, I purchased the clearance shoes at $3 ($10.99 regular price) and a pair of name brand kids shoes for $34.99. Because I keep a pretty consistent weekly schedule with my daughter’s activities, you can be confident that the shoes were both worked in pretty much the same way and in close to the same environment. The original test was scheduled to be concluded after each pair of shoe was worn for two weeks, but I extended it to a month long test for each to offer more conclusive results as to the dependability of the materials.

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Two weeks:

The least expensive brand was the first to show visible wear. It only took two days at school to see cracks on tops of the toes, and after a week the toe tops were an ugly grey against a still white base shoe.

The name-brand shoes showed hardly any wear and still appeared new and in excellent condition after the first week.

A month: The cheaper shoes are still hanging in there for functionality, but they are not attractive in anyway. The outer shell of color has cracked and peeled from top to bottom of these shoes, and there is no way to bleach or clean up their appearance. The Velcro straps are worn and no longer stick easily, often times coming undone, and causing a shoe to fly off during play. They can no longer be considered as anything other than shoes for the dirtiest of play.

The more expensive shoes, however, are not made of the same layer of outer materials and consist of a woven top and thick which had some mud on it, but a little scrub cleaned it up. These shoes are still in very good condition, and can still be worn to church functions and school. The Velcro straps have held up, and still easily hook together, holding them securely to her feet.

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For long-term multi-function use with a good appearance, the expensive shoes are the way to go. The inexpensive shoes are great for looking good for one or two events, but I wouldn’t buy them with the hopes of having them serve a purpose for the long haul. The quality is not there are you are getting what you pay for. I can say that are a good choice for play shoes; while the appearance is no way desirable, the structure of the shoes have remained intact and are still taking a good beating. The expensive shoes have held up in appearance and structure. They are still acceptable school day shoes, church shoes, and look nice to wear for other events.

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FAMILY mommy & daddy

Maintaining a Positive Relationship

with your In-Laws By: Noelle Elliott

I met my husband’s parents after we were engaged. We lived in Los Angeles, and they lived in Florida, so we got on a plane to travel across the country to share the news. It was panic inducing. Thankfully, it went very well and I was grateful that I liked them, but more importantly, that they liked me.

Fifteen years have passed and my relationship is still positive with my husband’s parents, but it has had its challenges. The biggest one was in regards to our children. We have very different opinions on things.

they did, but I wasn’t going to threaten him or promise him a reward if he stopped. The tantrum went on, and I could sense my husband getting more embarrassed with each agonizing minute.

Even as adults, we want our parents to say we are doing a good job.

One particular topic we don’t agree on is discipline. There have been tense situations when one of our children has misbehaved when they visit. It was apparent that they disagreed with the way we handled the situation.

My son was four-years-old and had a complete temper tantrum at a restaurant. It was stressful enough, but having my in-laws there made it even worse. I wanted the tantrum to stop just as much as

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When we got in the car, his parents offered advice on how they would have handled the situation. Which not surprisingly, was the opposite of what we did. Looking back, they were trying to be helpful. All of us were crossing new territory as parents and grandparents. Although it is a work in progress, the following are things I do to keep a positive relationship with my in-laws.

Be Respectful

If you disagree with your mother-in-law’s opinion, you don’t need to tell her. I remind myself that she raised the man that I love. That helps to keep my opinion in prospective and reminds me of a job she has done well.

“Our children look forward to trying new things with their grandparents.”

Find Common Ground and Explore It

Because my in-laws live out of town, when they visit, they stay in our home. One thing we have fun doing is going to local events together. We have gone to the Farmer’s Market, a South Bend Cubs game or a Notre Dame game.

We don’t do this very often, so our children look forward to trying new things with their grandparents.

Highlight their Best Qualities

I am not a very good cook. This used to be a subject of worry for me. Especially when I cook for other people. I asked my mother-in-law for a recipe she used to make when her children were younger. We go to the grocery store and get all the ingredients and make it together. She loves to feed her grandchildren meals that her children enjoyed. My children love it.

Ask For Advice

“Discuss limits with your spouse about what you want to share.”

I used to feel like asking for help was a sign of weakness. My oldest son is now 12, and I have gotten over this feeling. I am no longer too proud to ask for help. Some of the most special moments I have had with my in-laws was asking them for advice about something. Whether it is about a career move or even a parenting question.

Keep Private Matters Private

Any discussion about our marriage is off limits. That may not be the case with other people, but if I have a problem with my marriage only one other person needs to know about it, and that is my husband. What I have learned is that parents accept their child’s spouse, but ultimately they will protect their own child’s feelings no matter what their child’s age. Discuss limits with your spouse about what you want to share.

Let Them Be Grandparents

Something my parents like to do is take our boys to McDonalds. My husband dislikes this very much for several reasons. However, it is an activity that my parents enjoy doing, and the boys love it. There are a few things that as parents you want to keep a firm and steadfast rule, but in this case, it is okay to let it slide.

The common denominator in any relationship is respect. In most cases, in-laws just want what is best for their children, just like you want what is best for yours. This relationship will last a long time; it is worth investing quality time in it to create happy memories for generations to come.

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FAMILY book review

Sarah

Gives Thanks By: Mike Allegra Reviewed By: Kate Rhoton, Children’s Services Assistant Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Public Library

Thanksgiving is fast approaching. This is a good time to start planning your family holiday activities. One great way for families is to spend time together is through reading together. There are many good books to choose from and one such book is Sarah Gives Thanks by Mike Allegra.

In this book, Allegra gives the untold history of Sarah Hale, the woman responsible for making Thanksgiving a national holiday in the United States. The story is written in such a way that makes it easy for children to understand the significance of Sarah’s life and work.

In addition to learning the history of the Thanksgiving Day Holiday Sarah Gives Thanks includes some important life lessons. Allegra tells of the many hardships Sarah faced throughout her life, both personally and professionally. Sarah overcame these difficulties through perseverance and hard work.

Sarah was passionate about making Thanksgiving a national holiday because she believed that everyone needed a day to remember all of the things that they we’re thankful for, especially during hard times (much of Sarah’s fight for Thanksgiving took place during the Civil War when many were in need of a little hope). Allegra teaches children the importance of gratitude and staying positive through difficult times.

Sarah Gives Thanks is a great story for the whole family, especially for young girls, because it tells the story of a woman breaking the barriers that were set for her during her lifetime. As the widowed mother of five children, Sarah entered the workforce to support her children. Women during this time were not supposed to go out in public and vocalize their concerns and desire for change. Sarah did not let this stop her for fighting for what she believed in. Sarah was able to inspire such change because “her opinions mattered”, letting young girls know that their opinions matter and they can use those opinions to do great things.

Sarah Gives Thanks, is an entertaining and educational story to share with the whole family. The book will teach children about the history of the Thanksgiving holiday while giving them important life lessons along the way.

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Photo courtesy: Amazon.com

FAMILY movie review

Holiday Break

I

Movie Watch List

By: Cole Pollyea

t’s rare that a film version will surpass the book version of any story and, when this happens, it’s certainly worth seeing--if the book was successful. That’s right, I’m talking about the widely praised “Hunger Games” series, whose final installment, Hunger Games: MockingjayPart 2, is set to release on November 19th. Whether or not the first two installments match the book’s quality is not a discussion I’m interested in leading. It is, however, safe to say that the third novel was comparatively uninteresting, and this was not true of the film version, Hunger Games Mockingjay-Part 1, which leads me to believe that these filmmakers will yield their fourth consecutive certified fresh rating from Rotten Tomatoes with their latest project.

Furthermore, November is the in-between month for seasonal film watching; this means that nostalgic Halloween fans’ viewing preferences clash with those of all who are eager for snow to touch ground.

Since Thanksgiving films are not as prevalent as either of the aforementioned categories of seasonal films are, before you is a list of wellblended films that are arguably fitting for both October and December.

Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas is an obvious addition to this list because of its inclusion of both Halloween and Christmas in its proceedings, and the director’s indistinguishable ability to skillfully illustrate a unique story. It follows the evil doings of one Jack Skellington who has apparently become bored with

Halloween and wants to take over Christmas by kidnapping Santa Clause. What must go along with it is one of the best horror films of all time, set in the below-zero arctic cold, John Carpenter’s The Thing, an R-rated, Kurt Russell-starring exercise based around an alien’s invasion of an American scientist base camp. This is easily the director’s best work and boasts tremendous special effects for having been produced in 1982.

On the Christmas side of the suggestion list is a timeless film, To Kill A Mockingbird, which isn’t quite holiday oriented, but its conclusion is set around Thanksgiving and its tellings are as universal as any; furthermore, it’s a faithful and well-made film whose lead performance by Gregory Peck is both inspiring and insightful. Furthermore, A

Miracle on 34th Street, which is regularly touted as a Christmas film, is based around events that take hold on the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and is a charming, classic, magical tale about a man who claims that he is Santa Clause and who tries to restore belief in the holiday for a little girl he meets while occupying the position of Macy’s toy department Santa Clause.

Conclusively, these are the majority of recommendable Halloween/Thanksgiving/ Christmas films, but among them are titles like Nobody’s Fool and, without doubt, the Charlie Brown installments which include a charming Thanksgiving version. In short, bundle up and check some of these out or get to the theater to see the final plight of Katniss Everdeen.

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FAMILY mommy & daddy

Don’t Fall

For Your Old Diet Tricks By: Sandra Gordon Little white lies aren’t so bad when, say—your mother in law gives you an ugly sweater.

But with your diet, honesty really is the best policy. That’s because the small food fibs you tell yourself as in “I’ll just cut off a tiny piece” from a batch of brownies can sabotage your diet goals. Do any of these other common self-deceptions sound familiar?

You tell yourself:

“I’m not losing weight because my metabolism is slow.”

Reality check: Your resting metabolic rate—the rate you burn calories when say, you’re

glued to the TV--could be to blame for those stubborn pounds. But chances are, you’re just eating more than you think and not exercising enough, says David Edelson, M.D, an obesity medicine physician. With any weight gain, behavior is often a big component.

Diet fix: Still, why not test your theory? You can get your metabolic rate checked at

an obesity medicine physician’s office (some upscale gyms offer it too) with an indirect calorimeter. This simple test, which runs $50 to $100, measures the level of oxygen and carbon dioxide going in and out of your lungs to calculate your metabolic rate and determine your caloric output. An abnormal (slow) result could signal a thyroid problem or a sleep disorder. But those are rare. To budge the scale, you’ll more than likely need to track calories with a food diary, get a good night’s sleep and exercise more to build muscle—the engine that drives metabolism. Doing all of those things may raise your metabolic rate by 5 to 10 percent, or an extra 100 calories per day.

You tell yourself:

“I can just eye-ball my portion sizes to gauge calories.”

Reality check: “Most of us aren’t good at perceiving how much we eat,” says Sandria Godwin, RD, PhD, professor of dietetics at Tennessee State University in Nashville. In fact, with Godwin’s research in which subjects judged portion sizes just by looking at them, they underestimated amounts by an average of 23 percent.

Diet fix: If you’re serious about controlling portions, don’t guesstimate. Weigh meat with a food scale

(aim for 3 ounces per meal) and measure everything else with teaspoons, tablespoons and measuring cups for at least a week and track it all in a food diary. After that, you can just eyeball amounts.

Return to weighing and measuring every few months, however, to tweak your portion-size perception.

“Portions tend to get a little bigger and bigger over time,” Godwin says. To outwit your appetite, use a 9 to 10 inch dinner plate so portions don’t look too small and tempt you to go back for seconds. Of course, you can’t exactly haul this equipment to restaurants so keep eating out to a minimum or just eat less of what you’re given because no matter how much you think you ate, it’s probably more than that.

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You tell yourself:

“My body needs a detox every once in a while.”

Reality check: Forget the seasonal juice fast. You actually need to detox every day. The good news? You don’t need to do anything special beyond eating a healthy diet. “Your body is wellendowed with the apparatus to take care of the job,” says David L. Katz, MD, MPH, president of the American College of Lifestyle Medicine. Your liver, spleen, kidneys and gastro-intestinal tract constantly filter “toxins” out of your system—breakdown metabolic gunk such as fat molecules, spent red blood cells, urea (a byproduct of protein metabolism), and other waste products, all of which comes out in your poop, pee or sweat.

Diet fix: To keep these systems in good working order so you can continuously detox more efficiently, load up on unprocessed foods, such as fruits and veggies. Their high water and fiber content speeds waste through your GI tract. Get plenty of fluids, too (anything watery counts) so your kidneys can flush water-soluble by-products through your system. (You’re getting enough if you pee every three hours and urine is pale or clear and odorless.)

Regular exercise also helps keep your blood circulating through your arteries and delivers a robust supply of blood to your spleen, liver and kidneys. Meanwhile, avoid “toxins” by not smoking, shunning secondhand smoke and steering clear of foods high in refined sugar and artery-clogging saturated fat and trans fat.

You tell yourself:

“Calories don’t count if I drink them.”

Reality check: Liquid calories count just as much, if not more, than solid-food calories do. That’s because they’re not as satiating. “When people drink water, milk, fruit juice, Pepsi, Red Bull, a smoothie, or whatever beverage, they don’t compensate for those calories by reducing their food intake,” says Barry M. Popkin, PhD, Kenan Distinguished Professor at the UNC Gillings School of Global Health in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. In other words, liquid calories can slide in under your brain’s calorie-counting radar. And consider: Adults down an average of 533 beverage calories per day, which has doubled over the past 30 years. Gulp!

Diet fix: Aside from nonfat milk to help reduce the risk of bone-weakening osteoporosis, don’t drink your calories. Stick to water or noncaloric beverages like unsweetened iced tea between meals. And realize that when you do drink something caloric, including alcohol, it won’t fill you up but it will fill you out unless you exercise more or make a conscious effort to account for the calories, by saying to yourself, for example, “this is lunch,” while sipping a smoothie.

You tell yourself:

“I’ll eat less if I skip breakfast.”

Reality check: An major study that analyzed the breakfast patterns of 12,316 men and women for five years found that breakfast skippers were more likely to have a higher body mass index than breakfast eaters. The breakfast eaters also set a healthier tone for the rest of the day. They consumed fewer foods high in fat and sugar.

Diet fix: The study found you’ll only get that AM advantage if you start the day off

with foods low in energy density, such as unsweetened hot or cold cereal, or whole-grain bread, fresh fruit and nonfat milk. Otherwise, breakfast can backfire. Your overall daily calorie tally will be higher if you feast on the likes of pastries and sausage/egg/bacon sandwiches, says Ashima Kant, PhD., professor of nutrition at Queens College in Flushing, New York, the study’s lead researcher, which can lead to weight gain.

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