The FAMILY Magazine July 2012 by FAMILY Magazines of Michiana

Complimentary • Priceless • Free

Nearcations

For Fun Nearby!

How to Train Your Dragon – Er, Teenager Recipes From My Family To Yours

Bathing Suit Etiquette

And Other Tips to Swim/Live By

Sallie Mae Not

Why It’s Not Too Late to Start Saving for College Serving: Granger • Mishawaka • Elkhart • South Bend • Goshen • Niles • Edwardsburg • Middlebury • Plymouth • St. Joseph • New Buffalo & Surrounding Communities

The FAMILY Magazine: Live Your Best:

Family Arts:

7 Find the Acorn Contest

20 Premier Arts

The Art of Character

8 The FAMILY Month Calendar

By Stephanie Graham

Kids Book Review:

SPECIAL FAMILY FEATURES

Reviewed by Clay

For Fun Nearby

10 The 39 Clues, Book 1: The Maze of Bones

24 Nearcations

By Evelyn Kirkwood

Book Review:

10 Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children Reviewed by Alicia Ford

26 Own It!

Why Putting Your Kids In Charge of Vacation Planning Might Be Your Best Idea Yet! By Michelle Wegner

Family Fashion:

28 Our Adventure at KeyLime Cove Indoor Waterpark Resort

And Other Tips to Swim/Live By

34 Sallie Mae Not

By Amy Allen Clark

14 Bathing Suit Etiquette By Kathy Friend

Why it’s not too late to start saving for college By Stephanie Graham

Family Matters:

16 Preventing and Stopping Sexual Abuse Tips to Help You Talk with Your Kids

36 How to Train Your Dragon – Er, Teenager

By Stephanie J. Salisbury

By Meagan Church

Family Cooking:

18 Recipes From My Family To Yours By Diane Fisher

Calendar of Events:

40 Go to www.MichianaFamilyMagazine.com for tons of additional family events – updated daily!

MiChild:

44 Special Parenting Resource Section

MiCorner: 46 Yadda Yadda

Storytime:

47 Bringing Up BĂŠbĂŠ: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting Reviewed by Sue Reber

Mommy & Daddy: 48 Pick your Battles By Laurie Puhn

Newborn:

50 Cloth Diapering FAQs

Dispelling the Misconceptions of Using Cloth By Meagan Church

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. ~ James Dent

Parenting:

52 Mean Moms Rule

Interview with author and blogger Denise Schipani By Meagan Francis

54 The Invisible Woman By Jane Suter

Play Dates:

56 Fun things to do with your kids this month!

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Things We

Happy Independence Day to our precious country! I hope this issue finds you in the thralls of a wonderful summer and great time with your family! This July issue is full of fabulous resources for your family from staycations and nearcations to bathing suit etiquette and college savings info. Enjoy Instagram pics from our local readers, play dates, summer family activities, savory recipes and much, much more! We never have enough pages to print all that we’d love to give our readers … but we are working on it … stay tuned for more very soon. Growth is good! Special thanks to our beautiful angels on the front cover of this issue – Lauren and Alexa from South Bend. If this pic doesn’t depict the epitome of childhood silliness and fun, I’m not sure what does! Enjoy every minute that you can with your family – time is so very precious. Until next time,

(at FAMILY)

Love

Right Now!

1. Kids Playing Dress-Up 2. S’mores 3. Silver Beach 4. Fresh Fruit 5. The Buzz of a Dragonfly 6. Convertible MINI Coopers 7. Baked Beans 8. A Flattering Beach Cover-Up

Betsy & Family

9. The “it” color of the summer:

Tangerine

10. True, Loyal Friends 11. Family Photos 12. A Great Book (omg! Fifty Shades of … ??) 13. Lake Houses (owned by friends or family) 14. Fresh Linen Scent

Want the "organic"/green version of The FAMILY Magazine each month with bonus articles? Sign up for our Email Newsletter on our website and get your own organic copy delivered to your email inbox each month!

Find the Hidden Acorn!

For your enjoyment and fun!

Check it Out!

Don’t forget to pick up your copy of the NEW SASSY Magazine!

midlife

CRISIS OR CROSSROADS?

brain matters

THE DIFFERENECES BET

regina

EMBERTON

DEVOTED MOM AND VICE PRESIDENT OF BROKERAGE SERVICES FOR CBRE|BRADLEY

WEEN MEN & WOMEN

on the road to

investing

A ROADMAP FOR BEGINNERS

model hair

TRENDS AND TIPS FOR FABULOUS HAIR THIS SUMMER

GIVE YOUR FEET SOMETHI

TO SMILE ABOUT

SUMMER RULES!

MAKEUP

DO’S AND DON’TS FOR

THE SEASON

FISHING FOR THOSE

SUMMER BARGAINS

live your best

The FAMILY Month Calendar 4

Happy Independence Day!

• To Our Friends in the North, Happy Canada Day!

La Porte County Fair

• International Joke Day

Yard Sale at A Rosie Place, South Bend

Ronald McDonald Show: Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Bittersweet Branch

First Fridays, Downtown South Bend

Family Day at The Snite Museum of Art, 1 PM

I nde p endence D ay S tat Back in July 1776, the estimated population of the United States was 2.5 million. My, how we’ve grown! Today, the estimated population for this July 4th is 313.9 million! Happy Birthday, U.S.A! *Stats from The United States Census Bureau

Our Summer Rental Movie Picks Tired from your hectic day of lounging at the pool and just want to relax and get cozy on the couch? Here are some of our favorite movies to rent, which include some new releases along with classics you just have to see! 1. For a family crowd pleaser: Captain America 2. For something to inspire: The Help 3. For a classic romance you’ll love: Jane Eyre (The Masterpiece Theater Version!) 4. For a retro sci-fi favorite: The Last Starfighter 5. For a black-and-white screwball comedy: The Major and The Minor 6. For something to make you dream again: October Sky

Our County Parks! Our writer Evelyn Kirkwood is an expert when it comes to the outdoors. This summer, she recommends checking out the many fabulous county parks we have in the area. “Berrien, Cass, Elkhart, St. Joseph and La Porte counties all have magnificent county parks. These properties are usually larger than city parks, less developed and often feature outstanding natural landscapes. From Madeline Bertrand County Park’s disc golf course in Niles to St. Patrick’s County Park’s canoe rental on the St. Joe in South Bend and the working grist mill at Bonneyville Mill County Park in Bristol, county parks have a huge variety of outdoor opportunities to explore.” Fun Activity: Have a picnic! Pack a picnic basket and visit a local park. We recommend using a cooler to keep your food fresh and safe. Remember, some foods, like onions, quickly go bad, especially in the heat!

LOL! In honor of International Joke Day (July 1st), here’s an almost funny joke: How does the man on the moon cut his hair? ECLIPSE IT! *Joke found on theoatmeal.com

Safe Swimming at Lake Michigan In case you missed it, our fabulous writer Amy Cahill did a great article in our June issue on safety at the lake (be sure to check it out). In the article, she reports that last year, at least 44 people drowned in Lake Michigan. A flag system is used at the Michigan State Parks and some other beaches. Here is the system so you are aware of it on your next trip to the lake: Green Flag: Lake conditions are safe with a minimum of wind and wave action. Rip currents are not expected. Yellow Flag: Lake conditions are moderately dangerous with 2- to 4-foot waves, or there are strong winds offshore. Rip currents are not expected. Red Flag: Lake conditions are extremely dangerous and swimming is not advised. Waves are expected to be larger than 4 feet, and rip currents are possible. A red flag is also used when the water is contaminated.

• Neil Armstrong Takes “One Small Step for Man…” 1969 • Elkhart County 4-H Fair

In 1955, Disneyland Opened!

Lemon Creek Winery Vintage Blue Bash, Noon to 8 PM

Smart Packing! Planning on flying somewhere this summer? If so, think ahead to get the most out of your luggage space. Amy Clark of momadvice.com reminds us to note the Transportation Security Administration rules requiring passengers only carry liquids in three ounce containers in no more than one clear quart-sized bag. When planning for a trip, check out freebie sites like Freebies4Mom. com, DealSeekingMom.com or SavingsLifestyle.com to find sample size toiletries that comply with the federal guidelines.

Cheers! Try this simple and refreshing drink. It’s a favorite for Diane Fisher, owner of Catering By Design, LLC, and her family! 1/2 glass Squirt, the soft drink 1/2 glass Cranberry Grape Juice Simple and refreshing. Enjoy!

22 Su

Amelia Earhart was born on this day, 1897

23 M

Love Your Lips! In the summer, we can’t get enough of Neutrogena’s Lip Moisturizer. It offers great protection and softens chapped lips without the waxy feel. We also love that it contains a PABA-free SPF 15 sunblock for added protection!

Sizzling Summer Events Street Beat Concert at the 4H Fair Head on over to the St. Joseph 4H Fairgrounds on Friday, July 6, for a concert you won’t forget! Street Beat is a maximum energy explosion of urban rhythm and dance utilizing junk, household items and found objects for drums and percussion and featuring modern “parkour” choreography. There is no charge for this concert after admission to the fair. Adults $8, children age 8 and under free. Starts at 8 PM. For more info, visit 4hfair.com.

Jack of All Games: An Organized Game Tournament Don’t miss this organized tournament from 6:30 to 8:30 PM on Thursday, July 19, at the Bittersweet Branch of the Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library. Bring your family and enjoy playing organized games like chess, checkers, Chinese checkers, Canadian checkers, backgammon, Mancala, Scrabble, and Nine Men’s Morris. If you don’t know how to play a game, help will be available. The event is free and all ages are welcome. Snacks will be provided, and all participants will receive small prizes. For more info, call 574.259.0392. Term to Know: MMO Summer is synonymous with video games, so be sure you’re in the loop with what your kids are playing. You might hear them throw around the term MMO. This stands for Massive Multiplayer Online games. MMOs are played through the internet, which means kids and teens are interacting with other players from all over the world. Some of the most popular MMOs are World of War Craft (WOW) and most recently Star Wars: The Old Republic. If you have a younger child, be sure to closely monitor their online activity.

live your book reviews best

The 39 Clues, Book 1: The Maze of Bones By Rick Riordan Reviewed by Clay If I were to sit on the most comfortable chair in my living room, take out a book and read it, that book would be one of “The 39 Clues” books. The entire series is about two orphan siblings who live in Boston, Massachusetts, named Dan and Amy Cahill. They have to find all 39 clues in this hunt against their other family members. But they also have to reunite their family because they have been fighting for thousands of years over the clue hunt, and the only way to win the clue hunt is to work together. The book I would recommend in this amazing series is “The Maze of Bones” because it is the first book in the series and one of my favorites. In the first part of the book, Dan and Amy go to their grandmother Grace’s funeral. They are given a choice along with many, many other family members. Either they take two million dollars, or they are given a clue taking them through the clue hunt. The hunt could lead either to possible death or a prize beyond their wildest dreams. Dan and Amy both choose the clue and are sent through the craziest clue hunt there could ever be. If you’re looking for a book with adventure, action, sacrifice, life and death, and even some humor, “The Maze of Bones” includes all of this. So, I encourage you to start the series today. If you were a part of the Cahill family, would you walk away with two million dollars or would you take a chance, find the clues, and then possibly find the Cahill family’s most wanted treasure?

My name is Clay, and I am a seventh grader. I participate in track and soccer. One day, I hope to be an author of children’s books.

Summer Fun at Heritage Square Free Concert: Vyagra Falls and The Bergamot Friday, July 13, from 5-10 PM in front of Uptown Kitchen. Bring lawn chairs!

Classic Car Cruise-In’s

Every Saturday, from 5-8 PM, music and door prizes!

Books, Buddies, and Blankets

Our children’s reading program is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 AM, at Urban Swirl! facebook.com/HeritageSquare

ShopHeritageSq

Heritage Square • Mishawaka, IN (Located on the Corner of State Road 23 & Main/Gumwood) www.shopheritagesquare.com • Guest Services: 574.855.3774

live your best

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

Reviewed by Alicia Ford Assistant Director Maud Preston Palenske Memorial/St. Joseph Public Library If you are looking for a unique, captivating book for the summer that has had a lot of buzz, “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children” is one not to miss. Written for the Young Adult genre, it has cross appeal to children, teens and adults with its language of writing and depth of story. Unlike most books where authors write their novels and then add pictures, author Ransom Riggs first discovered the strange, circus-like photographs he includes in the book and then crafted his plot around them. The novel centers on teenager Jacob who has grown up his entire life not only hearing stories about “peculiar children” that his grandfather knew, but also seeing pictures of them: a child with bees that swarm constantly around him, another with superhuman strength who is able to lift an entire car, an invisible boy. But Jacob has been told by his parents not to believe these stories. He questions them until the night of his grandfather’s death when Jacob witnesses a creature leaving the scene that he cannot explain away (even though he is the only one to see it). To find out the truth for himself, Jacob travels to the same island off the coast of Wales where his grandfather allegedly encountered Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. What awaits Jacob on the island is far more than he bargained for. There are a lot of different aspects of this book that might hold one’s interest. For some, it will be namely the vintage photographs, starting with the photo of a young girl seemingly levitating on the book’s cover. For others, it might be the time-travel element, where Holocaust history is introduced as Jacob discovers the time trap the children are in on the island that allows them to survive unharmed. And for others, it will be the good story with an Corporate Events intriguing set of characters you journey along with, School Events waiting to see the outcome of events. And for those College Events interested, there’s already a sequel in the works, with a whole new set of peculiar photographs…

Michiana’s Largest Selection!

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• Giant Slides MechanicalBull Bull • •Mechanical Rock Climbing Walls • Dunk Tank Tank • Concessions Mechanical Bull • •Dunk • Sumo Wrestling CarnivalGames Games • Carnival Dunk Tank Bouncers • •Bouncers 574-247-0657 GiantSlides Slides Carnival Games • •Giant Licensed and Insured • Concessions • Concessions Bouncers • Sumo Wrestling • Sumo Wrestling Giant Slides www.xtremefunparty.com 574-247-0657 Concessions574-247-0657 Licensedand andInsured Insured Licensed Sumo Wrestling

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THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

“rawr.” ~maddiewegner

“When I woke up this morning, I didn’t know I’d end the day on a boat.” ~ellewhite7

“A little light reading.” ~jencrutch

Proud parents of septuplets out for an afternoon stroll! ~tishamattei

Use Instagram, a fun photo editing and sharing app for the iPhone, to show us what you see around town and what your family and friends are up to. Your photos may make an upcoming issue! Include the hashtag #michmag in your photo captions, and follow us on Instagram too: thefamilymag.

“God be in my head and in my understanding. God be in mine eyes and in my looking. God be in my mouth and in my speaking. God be in my heart and in my thinking. God be at mine end and in my departing. Sarum Primer, 1527” ~michellewegner

“Loving Summer.” ~michellewegner “If you were a sailboat, I’d sail you to shore.” ~ courtneyekema

“Nap time cuddles.” ~meaganchurch

“Rock. Star.” ~momadvice

~ justashleigh

Books, Buddies Blankets &

Every Wednesday from 10:30a - 11:00a Wednesday, June 6 – Wednesday, August 1 At Urban Swirl Heritage Square, Granger Each week Heritage Square Merchants will offer exclusive sale prices for all Books, Buddies, and Blankets participants!

Reading Time!

Community Reading

Get a Card and Win Prizes!

Family Time with Heritage Square

This is a fun 9 week program that gets kids excited about reading. We will meet at Urban Swirl in Heritage Square. The program lasts from June 6 through August 1, every Wednesday from 10:30AM to 11:00AM. Kids get a card that’s stamped every week they attend. At the end of the program, everyone will be awarded a prize! There will also be a grand prize for the boy and girl who attend the most story times.

Each week, an influential community member will read to the group. After 20 minutes of reading, kids will enjoy 10 minutes of Q&A time where they get to know the community members and what they do! Heritage Square is a family oriented lifestyle center attracting families from across Michiana for shopping and dining. We strive to offer families a fun, interactive way to spend time with their children in a unique setting.

Books, Buddies, and Blankets is brought to you by Heritage Square & Michiana Family Magazines!

www.shopheritagesquare.com

Make it a

Mathnasium Summer! Most students lose 2 to 2.5 months of grade level equivalency in mathematical computation skills over the summer months.

Summer Hours:

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays 9am-2pm Tuesdays and Thursdays 2pm-7pm

Now Open at two locations:

7321 Heritage Square Dr.• Ste. 170 • Granger, IN 46530 • 888-850-MATH 5651 Cleveland Ave • Stevensville, MI 49127 • 855-429-MATH

www.mathnasium.com THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

family fashion

Bathing Suit

Etiquette

And Other Tips to Swim/Live By

By Kathy Friend

I’ve been spending a lot of time at the pool, the lake and on a boat this summer, and something is bugging me. Doesn’t anyone understand bathing suit etiquette? I posed this question to a friend who works at a boat club, and she replied, “Bathing suit what?” So, I guess that answers my question. There are appropriate bathing suits for given summer activities. Think of this just like you would about the right dress for the occasion, or the right shoe for the activity. The first rule when it comes to bathing suit etiquette 101 is to find the right bathing suit that fits. I ask you this: do you want to see a poorly fitting, skimpy bathing suit on anyone? The truth is we simply don’t want to see that much of each other, so cover it up, especially when it comes to the bathing suit top. Make sure your top is appropriately covering…well, your top! In an effort to make our area pools and beaches friendlier, politer and fashionable places, I offer the following tips:

I agree it would make for a perfect end to the day to stop for an ice cream or cocktail at that cute little bistro. However, it isn’t okay to go bikini clad into a non-beach establishment. Out of respect to others, put on that adorable cover up.

Getting a Good Fit

Now that we’ve all been schooled on the Miss Manner’s way of wearing things around the beach and pool, let’s dive in to finding the perfect swimsuit for the season! Getting a great suit is all about dealing with your situations, or as some of my friends call it, fluff – those fluffy situations that seem to sit right at our midsections and on our hips.

Conceal Midsection

• The first thing to look for is a bathing suit with a lot of Lycra or spandex. • Consider finding a tankini-style with ruching and a patterned top. The pattern will act like camouflage. • A deep ‘V’ in the neckline will also distract away from your problem area.

Cover-ups

Heavy Arms

Carry a cover up with you wherever you go, and make sure that the cover up is one that dries quickly. In my opinion, there are few things more unsightly than a wet pair of shorts over a bathing suit.

• If you fall into this category, shifting attention away from the neckline and shoulder area will be key for you. • Look for a suit with detail at the center. • Cover ups should match your bathing suits. Going monochromatic here is a good choice.

Tops

Small Bust

We all have those “company appropriate” bathing suits as well as other suits we would only wear in the private confines of our backyard. Be honest with yourself as to which occasions your bathing suits are for.

Beach Attire off The Beach

Yes, we’ve all had a great time on the boat or at the beach. And 14 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

• Look for suits that have a lot of detail or embellishment on the top, things like ruffles, and maybe metal rings on the straps. • Contrasting colors (like pink and orange) will also make the top “pop.” Stay away from darker colors on the top, or a top that is simple. • Of course, always look for a little padding!

Large Bust

• Make sure you choose a top with an underwire support. Many manufacturers offer bathing suits in bra-sizing. This makes it simple to get a very good supportive fit. • Darker prints without a lot of contrast will help to minimize the chest area. • Make sure that the coverage (in the neckline and around the underarm area) does just that…cover.

Disguise Hips

• Skirted suits have made a comeback and are cuter than ever! Look for a skirt that is longer than the widest part of your hip. • Plain (without pattern) on the bottom with an interesting contrast on top will help to balance your hips and draw attention away from your hips and bring it to your face. • Don’t love the skirted idea? Then the opposite is best for you. A high cut leg will elongate your leg and help to minimize your hip. • No halter tops; choose bra-style straps. This will help to balance your hips.

THE RULES OF THE ROAD

To help you achieve investment success and avoid problems on your journey toward your financial goals, you’ll want to observe these 10 “Rules of the Road”: Rule #1: Develop a strategy. Rule #2: Stick with quality. Rule #3: Diversify. Rule #4: Invest for the long term. Rule #5: Address mistakes quickly. Rule #6: Understand risk, and take steps to help reduce it. Rule #7: It’s not just what you make, it’s what you keep. Rule #8: Quality stocks have historically outperformed quality bonds. Rule #9: Focus on what you can control. Rule #10: Review your strategy annually.

Plus Size Bathing Beauties

• Looking for suits with extra Lycra will serve you well (about 15-20% of the fabric content). Try the brand Miraclesuit. It really is a miracle! • Ruching and support will be important for you. • Try a bold print.

Other Quick Tips No Curves? Halter tops are best! Diamond or ‘O’ Body Shape? Find structure in the fabric and straps that will hold ‘things’ in place.

R Scott Puckett, AAMS®

Edward Jones® | Financial Advisor

209 Concord Mall Dr | Elkhart, IN 46517 (574)-875-0828 | scott.puckett@edwardjones.com

32 Pearls T Conservative

Family Dentistry... Treating Patients Of All Ages

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Our Website For Information On Procedures Provided...

Feeling Bottom Heavy? Choose wide shoulder straps to balance your hips. Halter isn’t the best for you.

Kathy Friend is a fashion expert, image consultant, speaker and writer. She is a regular on the WFRN Morning Show and on WSBT-TV. She is also the fashion expert for Goodwill stores. She is joyfully married to Marty, and a mom to one little fashionista in training.

Like Us on Facebook! 32pearlsfamilydentistry.com

574.855.3829

15045 State Road 23 • Granger, IN 46530

“She has a smile that can light up a room.” - John Link Equipment Specialist

Avis L. Barker, D.M.D.

THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

family matters

Preventing and

Stopping

Sexual Abuse

Tips to Help You Talk with Your Kids By Meagan Church

Sexual abuse is not a topic most parents want to think about, let alone talk to their child about. But, consider this, according to RAINN.org (Rape Abuse & Incest National Network): • 15 percent of sexual assault and rape victims are under the age of 12. • 7 percent of girls in grades 5-8 and 12 percent of girls in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused. • 93 percent of juvenile sexual assault victims know their attacker. That’s why, according to Becky Callender, project coordinator for S-O-S, Indiana’s oldest rape crisis center, “The most important thing a parent can do to help reduce risk is to talk to their children about personal safety.” Having such a conversation might not always be easy, but it is part of our role as parents and protectors. As Dawn Bontrager, local therapist, LCSW, said, “While we can’t always protect them, we can give them tools and always be there for them as a support system.” So when and how should a parent talk to their child? “Conversations will be much less awkward if they’re started at an early age,” Becky said. “Also, the more uncomfortable a parent acts when broaching the subject, the more awkward it’ll be for their child. They can sense our fear.”

Start Early

According to Becky and Dawn, the key is to start when the child is young. “The conversation should start early and continue into early adulthood, always at an age-appropriate level,” Becky said. “As soon as a child is old enough to identify body parts, they can be told ‘those parts covered by a bathing suit are private’ and that only parents or doctors with parental supervision should see or touch those parts when necessary for health reasons.” As Dawn pointed out, in teaching children about their bodies, parents need to remember that their bodies are their own. “A lot of times our kids’ bodies aren’t their own. We tell them to go hug so-and-so and they aren’t allowed to say no. Do we hug someone we don’t want to? No, but we often unknowingly teach our kids to forget about their own feelings, so they don’t hurt someone else’s.”

16 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

When School Starts

The conversation becomes even more important as children enter school and spend more time away from their parents. “Pre-K and elementary-aged students should be taught about good touches and bad touches, and that it’s okay to say NO when they’re being made to feel uncomfortable, that they have the right and responsibility to protect their own bodies,” Becky said. Dawn pointed out that parents need to teach their kids that it’s not just about strangers. The conversation needs to include family members. “We need to teach our kids that nobody has the right to touch their body and this includes relatives. We think about strangers, but nobody has the right to touch their body. But if anybody does, they need to come and tell their parents. Whether it’s a stranger or family member or if the perpetrator says not to tell anyone, the child needs to know that the mom and dad will protect them. Our children need to know they are safe – emotionally and physically – and that their home is a place where they can talk about what’s going on.”

Tweens and Teens

When kids enter middle and high school, the conversation needs to grow as peer pressure and dating relationships enter the picture. “There is a lot of pressure by peers to be in relationships even early in grade school, so it’s never too early to start conversations about age-appropriate behaviors, personal responsibility, and setting and respecting boundaries,” said Becky. “Students feel so much peer pressure to be doing what their friends and classmates are doing. They need to hear that it’s okay not to participate in those activities and to say no when they are pressured to do so.

“Other very important topics to discuss with middle and high school aged students are date rape drugs, which are used prevalently in our community, as well as dating violence. As many as one in four students will experience some type of violence in their relationship. That’s extremely disturbing! All of these should be regular topics of conversation long before students reach college age. Again, the ability to approach and converse with a parent about any and all of these topics is the most important thing in reducing risk.”

Keep Talking

It’s important to remember that conversation is key, but it’s not just a one-time shot. “Don’t overwhelm them with one long conversation. Start early and make it an ongoing conversation. Let them ask questions and answer them honestly. Assure them that they can come to you with any question or curiosity,” Becky said. She went on to warn, “Don’t force your child to rely on their peers for accurate information because the information they have is rarely 100 percent accurate!”

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Keep Watching

Just as important as the ongoing conversation is ongoing observation. As Dawn said, “Observation is key to knowing if something is going on. You need to talk to them, but you also have to pay attention to their behavior. When somebody has violated them, their behavior changes. Know your child. If a violation happens, they will be quiet, withdrawn, angry and act out more. When you see a behavior change that is not what they are used to, you need to talk to your child and get to the bottom of it. You need to stay in communication with your kids. Talk to them. Have evening meals together. Pay attention. I believe creating an emotionally safe environment for your child will help protect them, but make sure they know your job is to take care of them. It’s not their responsibility to hold on to something as big as someone being hurtful to them.”

Meagan Church is a writer and mother of 3 kids. Her current projects include DefiningMotherhood, and Unexpectant where she explores the realities of modern motherhood for her book project.

Underwritten by The Elkhart Group of

Book, Music & Lyrics by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey

Friday, July 20, 2012 Saturday, July 21, 2012 7:30 pm Sunday, July 22, 2012 3:00 pm

ALL-YOUTH CAST Saturday, July 21, 2012 3:00 pm Sunday, July 22, 2012 7:30 pm $18 Adults

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$15 Senio rs & St $12 Chil udents 12 and undren der

THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

family cooking

Recipes From My Family

To Yours By Diane Fisher

Every fourth week of June, my mother’s side of the family has a reunion – large and fun! She had nine siblings, so there are many cousins (even second and third) who attend, with the few remaining uncles and one last aunt. I love reunions. My mother passed away 30 years ago, and I love that they still honor her memory at every event. She was born of Italian immigrants, so the food is always amazing! We play games like corn-hole, horseshoes and egg-toss, and the men usually break away to play a few games of poker. Some of our favorite recipes were collected together a few years ago and put into a family cookbook. This is a great way to hang on to those recipes that no one wants to lose. At one of our earlier reunions, the hostess asked the attendees to teach, through demonstration, one of their favorite recipes. My son Phil and I demonstrated a pumpkin roll that our family cherishes. It’s actually one I received from my husband’s mother, but why can’t family reunions cross lines sometimes? Here are a few of our family favorites...

Pumpkin Roll (Grandma Elliott)

(Freezes and travels great!) Cake: 3 eggs, well beaten 2/3 cups canned pumpkin 1 cup sugar 1 teaspoon lemon juice Beat eggs, gradually add sugar. Stir in pumpkin and lemon juice. Fold in the following mixture...except nuts. ¾ cup unsifted flour 1 teaspoon ground ginger 1 teaspoon baking powder ½ teaspoon ground nutmeg 2 teaspoons cinnamon ½ teaspoon salt 1 cup nuts, optional Spread cake batter into greased and floured jelly roll pan. Sprinkle with 1 cup chopped nuts (I like walnuts). Bake at 375 degrees for 14 minutes. Turn out onto towel that has been heavily sprinkled with powdered sugar. Roll cake and towel together into a tight roll, starting with the short end. Cool and unroll. Filling: 1 cup powdered sugar ¼ cup butter 6 ounces soft cream cheese ½ teaspoon vanilla 1 tablespoon brown sugar 18 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

Mix with hand mixer until well blended, and spread on cool cake. Re-roll into log shape. Can be cut into three long pieces to make smaller appetizer size logs (my personal favorite). Freezes great and makes a great gift, or take-along for last minute get-togethers. Just wrap in plastic wrap, then in foil, twist ends and refrigerate or freeze.

Aunt Theresa’s Cobbler (my mom) Cobbler Crust: 1 ½ cup sifted flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 2 tablespoons sugar ½ teaspoon salt ½ cup shortening ½ cup milk (may need more or less) Sift first four ingredients together. Cut in shortening. Add mild gradually. Should be a soft dough. Knead for 30 seconds – don’t over work it! Roll out and place on cobbler filling. Sprinkle with sugar. Bake as directed below. Peach Cobbler Filling: 2 tablespoons flour 1 cup sugar ¼ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon nutmeg 4 cups sliced fresh peaches or 3 cans (29 ounces each) peaches in light syrup, drained thoroughly 1 cup water 2 tablespoons lemon juice (optional) 2 tablespoons butter Stir all ingredients together, except butter, and transfer to 13”x 9” baking dish. Dot with butter and top with crust. Place baking dish on cookie sheet or foil and bake at 450 degrees for 10 minutes then 350 degrees for 40 minutes, or until hot, browned and bubbly. Apple Cobbler Filling: 14-16 tart apples peeled and sliced or 3 quarts canned apples ¾ to 1 cup sugar 2 tablespoons flour 1/8 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon cinnamon ¼ teaspoon nutmeg 2 tablespoons butter Mix all but butter in bowl. Transfer to 13" x 9" pan. Dot with butter and top with crust. Bake at 450 degrees for 10 minutes then 350 degrees for 40 minutes. Test with fork for doneness.

Layered Lasagna (my very own)

½ pound ground chuck 1 pound medium (heat) sausage 3 ounce package pepperoni, chopped 1 medium onion, chopped 2 tablespoons olive oil 6 cloves chopped garlic 8 ounces sliced fresh mushrooms 3 large cans tomatoes, Italian style Fresh herbs (Rosemary, Oregano, Basil), about 1/3 cup each Red pepper flakes, optional Fresh whole spinach leaves 12 ounces Ricotta Cheese 2 eggs Dried Italian Seasoning Salt and pepper 2-4 cups Mozzarella cheese Fresh Parmesan cheese Fresh Asiago cheese 1-1 ½ boxes no-boil lasagna noodles Brown meats, onions and garlic (using oil) in a large pot just till browned. Add mushrooms, tomatoes and fresh herbs. Bring to boil and simmer till flavors marry. Bring to taste with salt and pepper (may want to add some red pepper flakes). While sauce is cooking, prepare ricotta cheese by adding 2 slightly beaten eggs, dried Italian seasoning, salt and pepper. After sauce is ready, spray a lasagna pan with coating, and add 1 cup of sauce. Place raw noodles in pan, slightly overlapping edges. Put additional sauce, then dollop tablespoons of ricotta cheese mixture and 8-10 spinach leaves. Sprinkle a layer of the cheeses, repeat 2-3 more times. Top with additional sauce and cheese then sprinkle dried Italian seasoning to garnish. Cover with foil. Bake at 375 degrees for 1 hour, or until hot and bubbly. Remove foil during the last 15 minutes.

Grilled Corn on the Cob (Uncle Rich always made the corn) To grill corn, peel back husks; do not remove. Discard silk. Rinse and fold husks around ears; tie with string. Soak ears in cold water for 10 minutes. Grill on rack over medium coals (heat) for 20 minutes (uncovered) turning occasionally until kernels are tender. Carefully unfold husks from corn, re-tie with string and trim short, if you like. Season with butter mixed with your favorite herbs or seasonings. You can use chili powder, cumin, pesto, cheese or even sugar and cinnamon! Try a few different things! You’ll be surprised at the great taste combos you’ll come up with Diane Fisher owns Catering By Design, LLC in St. Joseph, Michigan. She is married to Mike and they have three grown children and one granddaughter. She gives cooking classes for all ages at Perennial Accents in downtown St. Joseph.

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family arts

Premier Arts The Art of Character By Stephanie Graham

It may sound a little backward – a theater program that doesn’t focus primarily on talent and doesn’t necessarily want to create the next big star – but it’s exactly how they want it at Premier Arts of Elkhart.

also entertain around the area throughout the year. Frost-Mayse says, “People want us to do something at special events. Relay For Life wants some entertainment from us, so ambassadors will do part of the entertainment.”

This doesn’t mean, however, that just anyone is accepted. According to Sue Frost-Mayse, youth and education director at Premier Arts, there is a stringent audition process to become a part of the program. What’s one of the first things they look for in a young person? “We want good citizens, responsible and dependable,” she says.

Frost-Mayse says they want the kids to develop a love and appreciation for the theater, have confidence in themselves, and “we want to give the opportunity for them to feel that feeling, being on the stage.”

Executive Artistic Director Craig Gibson agrees: “We’ve always said from the beginning that we’re not interested in creating the next Broadway or Disney star; our objective was to create good citizens.” The kids are even called “ambassadors” because their roles in the plays and program are much more than just acting. FrostMayse says, “They’re the front line; they represent us.” Premier Arts is a service program for children in grades 6-12, teaching them music, dance and acting, but the scope reaches broader than this. They also offer classes throughout the week on anything from etiquette and writing thank-you notes to electing officers and teaching them how to conduct meetings. It broadens even further as it becomes a multigenerational effort for volunteers and actors alike. Gibson says, “What I see is kids auditioning, and the next thing you know dad’s auditioning, mom’s helping with costumes, and grandma’s auditioning, too.” Premier Arts puts on larger scale productions like “The Sound of Music” and this year’s upcoming “Grease” musical, but they 20 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

However, Gibson says, “For us it’s more than having a kid stand up there and let people clap. If you’re cast, you’re responsible for rehearsals, and 5-10 hours in another capacity, like passing out posters or working in the costume shop. They learn that it’s not just all about standing and singing and being cute and applause. There’s hard, real work involved in it.” Apparently, the focus on hard work and character shows. On a recent trip the ambassadors took to New York City, they participated in a Broadway workshop. Gibson relates that the workshop leader sees many high school groups, but “he said he has never seen a group that works together better and genuinely likes each other and works as a little community.”

Going Global

The ambassadors’ sense of community will go global this July when they host a group of teenagers from China. Twenty-six Chinese students between the ages of 13 and 17 will make the trip to get a taste of life and theatrics in Elkhart County.

Over the course of seven days, they will visit the ArtWalk in downtown Elkhart, spend a day in Shipshewana where they will perform at the Davis Mercantile, and learn about what a typical day is like in Amish Acres. They’ll have lunch with the mayor at the Lerner Theatre, have a tour of the facility, watch the Premier Arts “Grease” performance, and be a part of the huge after party. They will also perform with the Premier Arts kids, adding their own soloists, instrumentalists, traditional Chinese dance, makeup and costuming. At least that’s the plan. Last year, the same trip was planned and ultimately canceled due to trouble with visas. So far this year, Gibson says, it looks like everything is falling into place.

Getting Involved

Opportunities for acting, classes, and volunteering abound at Premier Arts. Gibson says, “We have about 2,500 people volunteer a year in the office, costume shop, tech crew, with set building, an active board of directors, and helping raise money.” Gibson also says the best way to find these opportunities is to visit their web page at Premierarts.org. Another big way to support the program is to come to the productions. “Buy a couple of extra tickets and introduce someone to our theater,” he suggests. Both Frost-Mayse and Gibson are confident that no matter what role is taken with Premier Arts, it will be worthwhile and possibly life-changing. Frost-Mayse says, “The kids grow up and latch on to you, and it’s like having your own kids. We’re like proud parents.”

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JUNE 19 – SEPTEMBER 2 AT SCIENCE CENTRAL

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Potawatomi Zoo East Race Waterway New Climbing Wall Rum Village Park & Nature Center O’Brien Skate Park

• East Race Concert Series - Seitz Park (Sunday afternoons, 2420-August - August 26) (Sunday afternoons,June June 15)

• Barbara Warner Concert Series Chris Wilson Pavilion in Potawatomi Park (Sunday afternoons, 2420-August - August 26) (Sunday afternoons,June June 22)

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family features

Staycations and Vacations!

Nearcations

For Fun Nearby! By Evelyn Kirkwood

This summer, check out these nearcation sites, perfect for daytrips and offering plenty to do for families or adults. Each destination is about an hour’s drive from South Bend. Shop. Pedal. Eat. Repeat.

Snugged up against the lake that gives this place its name, The Village at Winona in Winona Lake, south of Warsaw, Indiana, is perfect for low-key strolling with wide sidewalks and interesting shops. Its quaint lakeside architecture has landed it on the National Registry of Historic Places. Inside the shops, you’ll find handcrafted fine hard maple kitchen utensils, skin care products, fine olive oils and art galleries. Eagle Creek Market features homegrown meat and imported cheeses. Families can decorate their own pottery at Pottery Bayou. Winona Lake and Warsaw have outstanding biking trails, too. If you don’t have your own, Trailhouse Village Outdoor Store rents bikes in all shapes and sizes. Mountain bikers can pedal 10 miles of wooded trails designed for beginners to advanced skill levels. Root and log crossings and bridges and jumps provide interesting terrain. Road and recreational bicyclists will enjoy the paved Heritage Trail. After a bike ride, stop in at 1000 Park Bãkafé for a delicious hearthbaked pizza, or enjoy ice cream at Kelainey’s Ice Cream Shop.

Fun in the Sun or Shade

Although it is popular with adults for the dining, shopping and taking strolls along the pier, St. Joseph, Michigan, has plenty of opportunities for families. If a day in the sand is your calling, try Silver Beach County Park on Lake Michigan, named one of the top family beaches by “Parents Magazine.” The guarded beach also hosts sand volleyball nets, playground equipment and outdoor art. Kids (and playful adults) will go nuts in the 24 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

enormous Whirlpool Compass Fountain splash pad featuring fountains and water jets guaranteed to generate squeals. The Silver Beach area once was the site of the Silver Beach Amusement Park and Shadowland Ballroom, a popular destination that had a beloved carousel in the early 1900s. Today, across from the splash pad, you’ll find the re-created carousel at Silver Beach. You can ride a variety of “horses” from Indian ponies to dinosaurs and flamingoes. Next door, the Curious Kids Discovery Zone features an energy efficient “green” roof covered with plants and great golfing activities for kids. When it’s time to wind down, head up to town and pick up something delicious from the takeout menu (or dine in) at Caffe Tosi. Menu items include yummy baked goods, soups, salads and breads. Next, sprawl in the shade at Lake Bluff Park, which overlooks the splash pad and Lake Michigan sunsets.

Wildlife. Wild Flight.

For nature lovers, travel up to the Kalamazoo Nature Center, just five miles north of Kalamazoo, Michigan. The center is recognized as one of the top nature centers in the country. After the kids explore the dynamic indoor exhibits, venture out to one of the 14 trails, such as Habitat Haven, easily accessible from the Interpretive Center. This .6-mile flat loop is perfect for a family hike and is stroller accessible. In July, an observing eye is likely to see painted turtles and green frogs in the ponds, Joe-pye Weed and butterflies at the fen overlook, a Stickleback fish or Brook trout in the stream, or a basking garter snake alongside the trail. Bring binoculars and watch for the bright red and black flash of a Scarlet Tanager in the wooded areas. Look high in

F FAMOR I FUNLY

the majestic beech trees for bird nests and insect homes. Check the schedule for public programs with an interpretive naturalist, including Butterfly Hikes and Barnyard Bonanzas.

FRIDAY JULY 20

After the nature center, drive north to the little town of Plainville to Plainville Ice Cream Company for fabulous freshly made ice cream (molten chocolate cake anyone?). Or, go south to Portage, Michigan, to AirZoo which has loads of historic aircraft, fullmotion flight simulators and a 3D movie theater airing an animated feature based on the Apollo 11 moon mission that kids will love.

Join Deion Sanders, Eddie George, Coach Lloyd Carr and others at the 2012 Enshrinement Festival in Downtown South Bend.

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Easily done in a day, these nearcations won’t drain your fuel budget, and since they can be done in a day, you can pack in more than one this summer!

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Ribs Cook-Off & Downtown Block Party Cornhole Tournament Hall of Famer Blazer Presentation Live Music Fan Fun Zone Fireworks Museum Spectacular Hours : 9 a.m. 11 p.m.

Evelyn Kirkwood is Director of St. Joseph County Parks in Indiana and host of Outdoor Elements, which is broadcasted Sundays at 9am and Wednesdays at 5:30 pm on WNIT Public Television.

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family features

Staycations and Vacations!

Own It!

Why Putting Your Kids In Charge of Vacation Planning Might Be Your Best Idea Yet! By Michelle Wegner

The worst family vacation I remember growing up was when I was 12. I was way too cool to hang out with my parents and three brothers for any length of time, and I dreaded being dragged across the country in my parent’s station wagon, fighting my brothers over who got the coveted “backwards” seat. My parents rode in the front seat, endlessly playing the same Neil Diamond tape again and again and again – Side A: “Coming to America.” Side B: “Song Sung Blue.” I still remember every single word. My dad is a huge Civil War enthusiast, so on our trip to wherever we were going (no one, not even my parents, knew what our final destination would be) my dad pulled over at any and every Civil War historic site. On this particular day, the temperature outside was 115 degrees – this was before cars had thermostats, but my memory tells me it was at least 115, or maybe even 140 degrees. We walked along a path, sat on some cannons, got our pictures taken on said cannons; I have the photo my dad took of me with my feathered blonde hair, purple and white Olivia Newton John work out short set, an orange soda in my hand and an incredibly irritated look on my face. My little brother was also in the photo, orange soda in his hand and with an incredibly goofy look on his face. We ate Fritos with that orange soda and sat at a little picnic table at the Civil War battle site. I remember the snacks well because they remained on the side of our station wagon from that day until we sold the car many years later. Why? By some stroke of luck, I got the “backwards” seat after that excruciating stop. After we had been on the road for 10 minutes, Joel, who was sitting in the middle, looked at my older brothers Kevin and Mark and said, “I feel sick.” Both older brothers literally threw his head out the window and – you guessed it – he vomited up the Fritos and orange soda all over the wood paneled side of our family station wagon. The stain was etched in our memories, and literally on our paneling, for years to come. Now we laugh about it. And laugh. And laugh some more. It’s the memory that stands out above all the others from past family vacations. 26 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

Twenty-five and some years later, my husband and I are the geeky parents in the front seat of the minivan rocking out to 80s music. Our kids are the ones sitting on random objects at historical parks with smirks and sarcastic faces. But this summer, we are doing something very different for our family vacation. Instead of enduring scowls and eye rolls with every decision Rob and I make for vacation, we decided to hand the planning over to the girls. Yep. The whole vacation. We gave them a map and a dollar amount. We drew a certain radius that they had to stay within, and then we walked away. (Anyone who has lived in Indiana for very long knows that no matter where you go from here, it’s always better, so I was not worried one bit.) The girls did a stellar job. Within one weekend, they had chosen our destination, how much money we needed to save and what activities were available once we got there. They showed us the website, and by the end of the weekend, we had a signed contract with a rental home 16 hours from our house in good old Indiana. Aside from mercilessly screaming on Christmas morning when they were 7, 6, and 3 when we told them we were going to Disneyworld, this is the most excited they have ever been for a family vacation. Why? Because it was “their” idea. If there is anything I have learned about having children, it’s that they love what they own. If it was their idea, it’s the best idea. If it is their finger painting, it is the best finger painting. We give our kids as much ownership as possible. When they ask if they need a jacket for school, we have always asked them to go outside and decide for themselves. These little choices we make them decide on day to day is helping to build their own character and self-esteem. We let them plan their own birthday parties, schedule play dates, etc. You’d think these freedoms would turn our children into greedy monsters, but it has done the exact opposite. When they plan the party, they own the party. When they decorate their room in eleven shades of purple and green, they love and adore it because they own it.

Planning an entire vacation is a pretty big step, but here are some ideas to ensure your kids feel like they are in on the deal, and they are not just at the whim of every Neil Diamond tape-playing parent with a station wagon:

NATURALLY refreshing

Start Small. Let your children plan a family outing if you have a day together. If you have children of multiple ages, let each choose one thing to do. Start Simple. Transferring responsibility for decisions does not have to be a major event. It can be as simple as asking the youngest child what he or she would like the family to have for dessert and then following through to the best of your ability. Give more as they grow. Once a child has earned your trust, and the trust of their siblings, allow them to spread their wings further. Allow them to not only choose the dessert, but to make it for the entire family. The very wise Peter Parker, aka Spiderman, once said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” We don’t give our children “Power without responsibility.” Being a contributing part of a family is hard work. At the end of the summer, I hope to report back and say, “It was the best vacation we ever had. Our kids will forevermore plan every vacation from now until the end of time.” But I doubt I’ll say it. Someone will eat Fritos and orange soda and throw up on our minivan, or worse yet, on a sister. Someone will get bit by a thousand hungry mosquitoes. Someone else will poke her sister to death because it’s the sixteenth hour in the car and she just can’t take one more 80s rock song coming from the front of the car. But, they will own it, and they will glow in the light of a good choice they made that their parents respected and honored. And somehow building that strength of character and confidence in our girls will be worth every single blip along the way.

Michelle Wegner is mom to three spirited little girls, Maddie-12, Whitney-10 and Isabelle-6. Her husband is a pastor at Granger Community Church, and they have been married for 17 years.

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Staycations and Vacations!

Our Adventure at KeyLime Cove Indoor Waterpark Resort By Amy Allen Clark

ur family was invited on a trip to review and share our O experience on the KeyLime Cove Indoor Waterpark Resort in Gurnee, Illinois. To say that my children were

more than thrilled about this trip opportunity would be an understatement. Although Gurnee is just a few hours from our home, we could not have been more excited to experience the waterpark for ourselves and to enjoy a fun vacation just a couple of short hours from our home. KeyLime Cove Waterpark is situated in the town of Gurnee, IL, just three short blocks away from Six Flags Great America. We not only had fun exploring the waterpark, but also had the opportunity to check out the restaurants in town and got to see all of the cool things Gurnee has to offer. TripAdvisor actually named Gurnee one of the Top Ten Vacation Destinations in 2009, and we could definitely see why. With outlet malls, an amusement park, a waterpark and great restaurants, it’s definitely a town we would like to visit again and again. As a resort and indoor waterpark all in one, we had everything we needed at KeyLime Cove. The rooms had a tropical feel to them, and we were in a Queen Deluxe Stateroom that offered two queen beds, a sofa bed, a refrigerator, a dining table for two and a flat screen television. The room was spacious and had plenty of space for the four of us. The hotel rooms can house parties up to twelve by giving everyone adjoining rooms that connect, and each room can hold two to eight guests. There is truly something for everyone in the KeyLime Cove Waterpark area. My children are 5 and 9-years-old, and they both had an incredible time at the waterpark. And with over 65,000 square feet of waterpark space, it’s no surprise that we had no cries of boredom during our stay. Younger children have their own separate area with small slides and shallow depth, perfect for toddlers. Children that are a little bit older can enjoy splashing in a larger waterpark structure complete with oodles of slides that accommodate children both big and small. For the older and braver kids (and adults), the Hurricane Vortex boasts a 44-foot drop and makes you feel like you are spinning in a top. Wahoo and Screaming Banshee are two other fun slides you can ride on with inner tubes, have 40-foot drops and they 28 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

loop through the exterior of the building. For the really brave, two enclosed body slides are also available. My 9-year-old just made the height requirement for the Hurricane Vortex, which is 48" tall. Thanks to his recent growth spurt, he was able to do every single one of these slides, and he truly loved them. He even did the body slides on the last day. Despite being of the old and not-so-brave variety, I did try the Hurricane Vortex, the Wahoo and the Screaming Banshee. Our entire family also enjoyed hanging out in the Washout Wavepool, where the water is meant to simulate the ocean, and you can lounge around in beach chairs or on an inner tube to enjoy the waves. Ride the waves into the KeyLime Creek, and you can loop all through the waterpark and coast along in your inner tube on the lazy river. Both the wavepool and the creek can be enjoyed with children of all ages. Parents can double up on one inner tube with their smaller children or laze around solo, holding on to the handles of their child’s tube. Lifeguards were present in a big way at the park and were vigilant about watching children in the play area and also reminding them of safety when exiting the slides. They also did a great job keeping everyone safe when going down the slides. I saw one child who could not find his mom or dad, and a lifeguard was there in three minutes flat to take care of him. A first aid station is located within the facility, and lifejackets are available for smaller children to ensure their safety. Just as impressive as the waterpark itself was the Leapin’ Lizards kid’s activity center, which was my kids’ favorite hangout and where they wanted to spend all of their downtime. They had everything from a beanbag toss game, to checkers, to oodles of

art supplies and toys. My daughter spent hours coloring princess pictures, and my son and I enjoyed a few rounds of checkers between water sliding. The most impressive part was the activities available to the kids each day. A dry erase board outside of the activity center listed that day’s activities and included things like making a foam hand for high-five day to celebrating birthdays for that particular month to Mario Kart Wii racing in the evening. My son talked the employees’ ears off about video gaming, and no one ever seemed anything but interested in what he had to say. He had a blast in the Mario Wii Kart competition, which yielded him coins to spend at the RipTide Arcade while my daughter submitted endless coloring sheets for the coloring contests and came home with jewels from their prize boxes. A dance party was held in the evening, and our daughter Emily got the party started with the employees, which made us so proud that all of our Just Dance Wii game practice has been paying off. Of course, my son’s favorite part was the RipTide Reef Arcade with over 8,000 square feet of gaming fun. My husband kept remarking how impressed he was with the game selection as well as how up-to-date the games were. The boys spent some

money at the arcade, which led to tickets, which led to spider rings, which led to tears because only brother got a spider ring, which led to more games, which led to a purple jelly bracelet for someone else, which led to happiness. In all seriousness, there were so many great family-friendly games to choose from, and the boys had a blast playing there in the evening. When we asked the kids if they would like to spend a day at Six Flags, they declined. No, they wanted to spend the last day on the water slides. Playing in the activity center. Eating the food at the resort. Playing in the arcade. I think that should speak for itself as to how much fun we had together and how thankful we were for the opportunity to explore this resort. I have a very, very good feeling that we will be back soon! *Our family received a free stay at this hotel in exchange for our thoughts and opinions on the waterpark and its services. All opinions expressed are our own and we received no additional compensation.

Amy Allen Clark: Foodie. Bookworm. Novice photographer. Java junkie. Knitter & hot glue gun toting extraordinaire. A lover of the simple and family-centered life. Happily living this contented existence within a penny-wise budget and showcasing it on momadvice.com.

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Mathnasium

7321 Heritage Square Drive, Suite 170 Granger, IN 46530 mathnasium.com

Hey Kids! Color this page and 3 coloring winners will each receive a $25 gift card to “Explorations! Toys for Curious Minds”! One winner will be selected from each of the three following age categories: 3-5, 6-9 and 10-12 years of age.

NAME: _________________________________________ AGE: ______ ADDRESS: __________________________________________________ CITY: ___________________________ STATE: ______ ZIP: _________ DAY TIME PHONE: __________________________________________ PARENT’S NAME: ___________________________________________ E-MAIL: ____________________________________________________

For your chance to WIN, color your best picture and mail or drop entries to: MATHNASIUM • 7321 Heritage Square Drive •Suite 170 Granger • IN 46530 -- Coloring contest is open to children 12 years and under, and entries must be mailed or dropped by August 2nd. Winners will be notified via phone or email service by Mathnasium by August 12th, and their artwork will be featured in an upcoming issue along with their first name, age and city. For additional coloring contest entries, this coloring page may be photocopied and printed off. THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012 31

Mathnasium

7321 Heritage Square Drive, Suite 170 Granger, IN 46530 mathnasium.com

E R A U Q S I F U E E C P K E B G T R S

R A N G E Z R U K N L L V Q S Z E P M E

S U B T R A C T I O N I C T Y Q Z C J D

S I Y O C F E L N S T V T R B L L K Y N

L R J T P N B E H N M P S N I X K G V A

Have Fun! Addition Subtraction Fraction Divide Multiply Digit Dimensions

32 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

J W I C I P W M E O U G D W E C P X C E

F O P L E A C M R I L D D H R C I A I U

N S J B S Q E X V S T X O D O C R Q X Y

Z I E Q Y R U Y B N I M A A T N V E E B

C Q D C U D P A J E P R U A C K C D P R

F B B S I A V K T M L Y A S A O I Z E V

L A A G D U G V R I Y L B T F V D P V M

D E I T W W J D M D O Y N F I Z W N E N

M T D F O R M U L A A N Y D D O X H N B

N O I T I D D A U K B U D K L O B N S I

Find the words below in the Mathnasium Crossword puzzle. Words can be forwards, backwards, diagonal, vertical or horizontal.

Equation Factor Formula Line Circle Measurement Odds

Evens Percentile Ratio Range Sum Square

We have it all more at &

St. Thomas the Apostle Catholic School!

Now Registering for NEW Students! • Outstanding Academics • Safe Environment • Excellent ISTEP Scores • SMART Board Technology • Before and After School Care • Christian Family Atmosphere • Community Service Activities and Involvement • Specialty Classes: Art, Music, Computer, Physical Education • Extracurricular Activities ranging from Sports, Band, Scouting, Drama & More! • 21st Century Learning Facility Recently Renovated and Expanded St. Thomas the Apostle School is Catholic in character, but open to all faith traditions. Approximately 12% of our current enrollment is non-Catholic. Please call our school office at 574.264.4855 for more information or to schedule a tour. Visit us at www.stselkhart.com or www.stthomaselkhart.com! St. Thomas the Apostle Catholic School 1331 North Main Street • Elkhart, IN 46514

THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

family features

All About Teens!

Sallie Mae Not

Why it’s not too late to start saving for college By Stephanie Graham

In a foot race, the first few steps off the starting block are often the most crucial. Lose focus, stumble or hesitate, and you might catch up, but rarely will you get ahead. Too often the case is, start late, finish last. The same can be said for starting out financially in life. The decisions your teenagers, specifically your recent grads, make about paying for college can make or break them money-wise, all the way through to retirement. So what if you don’t have much, or anything, saved? Maybe it’s because you’re still paying off your own student loans, a growing phenomenon in recent decades. Whatever the reason, college is coming down the pike, and it is tempting to think the same thing millions of Americans have been thinking in increasing numbers; the only way to afford college is to take out loans. Loans seem so easy, taking a relatively short time to apply and sign up for, but they will take years for your child to pay off. This choice will cause them to leave that starting block yards behind, as they will begin their adult lives with a financial burden on their shoulders. Nationally, the average student graduated with about $25,000 in debt in 2011, but many students end up with significantly more than this. Loan defaults rose considerably for those beginning repayment in 2008 (based on students who default within the first three years of repayment), and even the financial extreme, bankruptcy, does not free them from student debt.

Sallie Mae: Affordable Loans – on Your Terms?

First and foremost, if you need to borrow money for college, you cannot afford it. I’m picking on Sallie Mae, but anyone who tries to make loans sound affordable is wrong; the very fact that you need loans means you’re about to do something you can’t afford. Loans are dangerous for multiple reasons. Interest and the teens’ lack of understanding what it will take to pay off (they will have loan payments plus living expenses after college) for starters, but it goes further than that. E.J. Bast, financial aid counselor at Southwestern Michigan College, says, “The school can’t limit the amount a student is given. We can only counsel them.” So if they meet all the standards for federal aid and can get more money than they actually need for school, they can use the full allotted amount and put it toward things not school-related. This is a slippery slope, as kids can feel like this is “free money.” So what do you do if you feel the only option would be loans; just keep them home? Unless they are going into a special field where only experience is necessary (and, of course, they have a way to gain that 34 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

experience), then future employers will be looking for that degree. There are more options than you might think. Bast offers that they could work full time and go to school part time. This would lengthen the amount of time it takes to graduate, but with the pay-as-you-go approach, it can be a good alternative for some. Joan Langmeyer, college-career counselor at Niles High School, sees a growing trend of students attending two years of community college and then transferring. “Community colleges offer very good education, but part of the reason students do that is financial,” she says. Attending a community college for one or two years can cut thousands of dollars off the financial load while still moving them in their desired direction. If your family chooses this path, communication with the colleges is key. Local mom Mary Hartsell and her husband made it a family goal early on to help all three of their children go to college debt-free. All of their kids had jobs in high school and were responsible for saving a portion for college, but they thought ahead in more ways than this. They had their children decide on the colleges they ultimately wanted to go to, and then began calling those colleges to ensure that the class credits would transfer before registering at Southwestern. Not only were the community college courses less expensive, but two of the children were able to graduate in three years, further cutting the costs at their more expensive universities.

Day Late and a Dollar Short

For those of you who don’t want loans but can’t imagine being able to put anything significant toward college now, think again. “It’s never too late to start saving for college. Never ever. Start today,” Langmeyer says. Bast agrees: “It’s never too late; it’s just that the longer you wait the more sacrifices you’re going to have to give in your daily life.” This applies to both you and your students. If you take a team approach with your children, you will be amazed at what can be done in these next few short months. For example, fifty to sixty hours of students’ summer weeks at $8.00 an hour gives them about $5,000 before taxes. Cut that in half and you’ve got what they could make the rest of this summer, but then include the next three summers after that. This, coupled with shortterm sacrifices like downgrading cable, internet or other luxuries, would make sizable payments to a community college. Rachel Stout of Niles had a debt-free goal for herself when she attended college. She says of graduating debt-free, “It’s such a blessing; you basically put yourself ten years ahead financially, just

working like crazy all the way through.” Rachel was able to graduate with zero debt thanks to working as many hours as possible during summers and the school year. She also shared an apartment with friends and bought her own groceries, which cut her tuition at Calvin University – about $26,000 at the time – in half. Along with working as many hours as possible, ask the financial aid department at your child’s school of choice for help. Langmeyer says, “I don’t think it ever hurts to talk with the financial aid department at the university you want to go to. You never know what is out there, what they might say, or what is their flexibility. Ask, ‘how can we work together to make this work?’”

The Young and the Penniless

How about your younger children? You may have one child who has to sacrifice more right now, but your younger children have an advantage. They can start working now a few hours a week and putting money toward college, and

they can think about where they want to go and what scholarships might be applicable. Bast recommends, “Don’t wait until their senior year to look for scholarships; look during the sophomore and junior years.”

Generally, these are things teenagers do not think about now, but they will be glad later that you brought it up. Hartsell says, “We saw the blessing in our own lives, that when you weren’t paying for the past, you could always save for the future.”

It all comes back to the concept of team effort. Hartsell says, “We told our kids from the beginning, you work hard, and we’ll do what we can to help you.” It’s up to parents to walk their kids through these decisions, guiding where necessary and helping them see the big picture. Here are some questions to get them thinking:

For Stout, the sacrifices before and during college allowed her to get married, buy a house with a down payment, and buy a car with cash her first year out of college. If she had been strapped with student loans, she would have had to wait years for these things. “I’m going on sixteen years out of college, and I believe I would still be paying off my loans,” she says. “There’s never been a time where I wished I had $10,000-$20,000 in debt so I could’ve had a little more fun in college.”

Would you like the freedom: • To choose a low-paying job in your field right after college? • To get married? • To own a house? • To have kids? • For you (or your spouse) to stay home with your kids? • To save for retirement? • To give generously to others?

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family features

All About Teens!

How to Train Your Dragon – Er,

Teenager

By Stephanie J. Salisbury

You’re having a good day. You and your 17-year-old daughter have been to the mall, bought some clothes, had lunch along with a few laughs, and now you’re back home. With no warning, she emerges from her bedroom with fire coming out of her mouth and nose. She has “the crazy eyes.” She’s screaming and crying and claiming you just don’t understand. She’s right – you don’t understand what in the name of C.S. Lewis happened to the sweet little pixie you’d spent the day with to turn her into the brimstone-breathing dragon you see before you. Whether you want to blame it on emotions, hormones or stress, one thing is certain: you’re not alone, my friend. This week, for instance, my son told me that he absolutely had to see his girlfriend or else he would “just lose it.” Lose what!? His mind? His ability to form intelligent conversation? Not sure. But he was very serious. His entire existence, for him, boiled down to that very moment. I just blinked at him, aghast and confused. After we talked for a bit, he more coherently explained himself – it just took awhile to get there. Lori Holewczynski, MSW, from Keys Counseling in Elkhart, sheds some light on this in a way we are certain to understand: “A teen brain is similar to driving a car with your foot always on a gas pedal without knowing how or when to use the brakes.”

“When parents can understand and empathize with the fact that the teen human condition includes a few more conditions than adults face, this may help quell intense emotions teens can exhibit.” Many different factors can come into play when we are trying to pinpoint how exactly our teen is being overwhelmed. Jami Presswood, LCSW, is the owner and a clinical therapist at Turning Point Counseling Services and is also a social worker at West Side Middle School. She tells us that, in addition to changing hormones, conflict at home or with peers can also be an issue: “When there seems to be unexplained meltdowns and mood swings, it is important to explore situations at school with teachers and peers, as well as family environment and relationships. Bullying can be a big cause of changes within teens.” There are certain things that both Holewczynski and Presswood tell us to be on the lookout for when it comes to major changes in our kids. “When a teen is failing in one of three areas – home, school, or community – an intervention may be needed,” says Holewczynski. If you see a massive change for the worse in their classroom grades, or their “normal” behavior, likes and dislikes, you need to start asking some questions.

Often we, as parents, will assume that the teen should know better than to make certain mistakes, or to have a certain attitude in a given situation. But recent technology in brain scans has proven this to be untrue. Holewczynski says, “Parents can trigger a teen meltdown when they assume more than what the teen is capable of comprehending. The reality is that their frontal cortex is not yet fully developed, as once thought.”

Presswood warns, “One of the biggest things with teens who are upset, depressed or overwhelmingly stressed is cutting or other self-harming behaviors. Be aware of kids switching to long sleeves to cover their arms.” She also says, “You might notice a loss of motivation in school or other interests, frequent behavior problems at home or school, sleeping a lot, or avoidance of family, friends or situations.” These are all signs that there might be more than meets the eye.

As the frontal cortex is important in planning behavioral responses to both external and internal stimuli, you can see why this might trigger something you perceive as a bizarre emotional response in your teenager. Holewczynski points out,

The good news? There is hope for all of us to get through this most trying of times with our teens. “Parents are the first teachers for a child,” says Holewcznski. “Pattern and repetition are the keys for parents to help a teen motivate through these rough years. A

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Here are some pointers from Presswood when you find yourself in the midst of a teen meltdown: Don’t react out of anger. Everyone needs to take a deep breath before addressing an issue. Don’t get into a power struggle. Listening to your child doesn’t mean you are agreeing, but it can make a huge difference for them to feel validated and heard.

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Don’t put your child down. Even if you think they are acting like a 2-year-old, telling them this is only going to add more fuel to the fire. Communicate. Learning and growing together will help with problem solving. Learn to compromise and apologize. Parents make mistakes! When you take responsibility for these mistakes, you are modeling the same behavior for your teen.

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Smile

Positive reinforcement is important. Hug your kids every day, tell them you are proud and you love them. Be involved – ask them about their day using open-ended questions. With just a few small changes in our own behavior, we can make miles of difference in the behaviors of our teens. Though it’s frustrating, it takes what everything else in life takes: time and patience. Our kids are worth it – don’t you agree?

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Visit Us at Our HealtHy lifestyle tent Friday, July 20 • Healthy Lifestyle Day • Open from 10 am - 8 pm elkhart General Hospital and experts from iOPO, elkhart General Home Medical equipment and the The Centre, P.C. will give you and your family the tools and information you need to live a healthier lifestyle. information on fitness, stress management, bariatric surgery and much more will be available. free screenings and fitness demonstrations will be held throughout the day too! 10:00 am - 8:00 pm

non-fasting Cholesterol, Blood sugar, Body fat and Blood Pressure screenings

Saturday, July 21 • Cancer Prevention & Awareness Day • Open from 10 am - 8 pm The highly skilled professionals from elkhart General Center for Cancer services will equip you with the information you need to keep cancer at bay. learn about the latest research and technology as well as all of our support groups available. specialists from Ribbon of Hope, elkhart General Center for Wound Healing, elkhart General Home Care and The Centre, P.C. will also provide information. 9:00 am - 10:00 am

Jazzercise Demonstration on Park stage

10:00 am - 8:00 pm

Peak flow and Oxygen saturation screenings

10:00 am - 8:00 pm

Zero Balancing Body/Mind Therapy by The Centre, P.C.

11:00 am - 1:00 pm

Oral, Head and neck Cancer screenings

Sunday, July 22 • Healthy Heart Day • Open from Noon - 6 pm The award winning elkhart General Center for Cardiac Care will educate you on preventing heart disease and the latest techniques in recovery and therapy. Physicians and nurse practitioners from north Central Cardiovascular specialists and Cardiothoracic surgery of northern indiana will be providing lectures at various times throughout the day. 12:00 pm - 8:00 pm

non-fasting Cholesterol, Blood sugar, Body fat and Blood Pressure screenings

12:00 pm - 8:00 pm

Peripheral arterial Disease screenings

12:00 pm - 8:00 pm

Peak flow and Oxygen saturation screenings

Monday, July 23 • Women’s Health Day • Open from 10 am - 8 pm elkhart General Center for Women and Children will keep you healthy with information on nutrition, bone health and breast care. if you’re expecting, learn about our special Beginnings Maternity Center and for Women Only OB/Gyn, conveniently located within the Hospital’s West Wing. 10:00 am - 8:00 pm

Bone Density Heel scans

Begins Friday, July 20 and runs through Saturday, July 28, 2012. Located on Rotary Boulevard within the Elkhart County 4-H Fairgrounds.

Tuesday, July 24 • Senior Health Day • Open from 8 am - 6 pm elkhart General will help keep you feeling young with information on arthritis, senior swing classes and nutrition. alzheimer’s & Dementia services of northern indiana, elkhart audiology and elkhart General Home Care and Home Medical equipment will also offer education and resources to those who are young at heart.

Wednesday, July 25 • Kids Health Day • Open from 10 am - 8 pm Whether you have children already or are expecting, gain useful information on kid’s nutrition and fitness, how to keep them from spreading germs and the elkhart General special Beginnings Maternity Center. and definitely stop in for entertainment by Balloon artist stephen Coyne and Magician James Pierce!

Thursday, July 26 • Diabetes Prevention & Awareness Day • Open from 10 am - 8 pm learn how to either prevent or control diabetes from elkhart General diabetes educators. experts from the elkhart General Center for Wound Healing and elkhart General Home Medical equipment will also be providing invaluable medical information. 10:00 am - 8:00 pm

Blood sugar and Blood Pressure screenings

Friday, July 27 • Emergency Medicine Day • Open from 10 am - 8 pm Don’t know what to do in an emergency? elkhart General emergency Medical services and emergency Department will provide you information on CPR, medication lists, Hazmat and help your teenager become a super babysitter with classes available throughout the year. 10:00 am - 8:00 pm

Blood Pressure screenings

Saturday, July 28 • Family Health Day • Open from Noon - 6 pm elkhart General Medical Group will offer fun, interactive games for the entire family. Kid’s Corner includes Minute to Win it and name that Body Part. teens and adults can test their sensory skills and play Diabetes MythBusters.

Physicians and clinicians will be available at various times to answer your health-related questions. Mother’s Room, our private breastfeeding area, will be available all week. Screenings are first-come, first-served. Times are subject to change. To stay up-to-date on the schedule of events, visit egh.org, find us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.

JULY 2012

Calendar of Events

Sunday

songs, finger plays and fun for children up to two years. Call 574.282.4641 for more info.

Imagine That! Toy Store, Mishawaka

Toddlertime

Drop-in Craft Day Every Sunday enjoy “Drop-in” Craft Day from 1 to 5 PM. All ages are welcome and an adult must accompany children. Pay $5 for the craft of the day to create and then take home with you! Call 574.254.1600 for more information and for a schedule of upcoming classes also available at the store.

Monday

Storytime Sampler Bittersweet Branch Library, Mishawaka

Storytime Sampler is held every second and fourth Monday of the month from 10:30 AM to 11 AM. This fun library time provides a sampling of the materials used in the preschool and toddler programs. Registration is not required. Call 574.259.0392 for more information.

Tuesday

Storytime at Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore

Every Tuesday near the fireplace in the bookstore, join story time with books, interactive songs and an art project or other activity for young children. Story time is at 11 AM and 1 PM and lasts 45-60 minutes. Check out the Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore Facebook page for an upcoming list of readings (click on the ‘Storytime’ tab).

Storytimes Francis Branch Library, South Bend

Every Tuesday at 10 AM, enjoy stories, music and movement that build early literacy skills and help your young child prepare for future learning success while developing a love of books. Open to children ages 5 and younger; families welcome. Call 574.282.4641 for more info.

Lapsit for Prewalkers St. Joseph County Public Library, Storytime Room

Every Tuesday at 10:10 AM, enjoy books, songs, finger plays and fun for children up to two years who haven’t yet mastered walking on their own. Pre-register online at www.libraryforlife.org or at 574.282.4607.

Wednesday Lapsit

Francis Branch Library, South Bend

Every Wednesday at 10 AM enjoy books, 40 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

St. Joseph County Public Library, Storytime Room

Every Wednesday at 10:10 AM and 11 AM, enjoy early literacy activities for children ages 2 to 3 ½, including stories, songs and games. Pre-register at www.libraryforlife. org or at 574.282.4607.

Storytime at the Library 10:15 AM– Centre Township Branch, South Bend; Lakeville Branch, Lakeville 10:30 AM – South Bend Branches: River Park, Tutt, LaSalle, German Township

Every Wednesday enjoy stories, music, and movement that build early literacy skills and help your young child prepare for future learning success while developing a love of books. Open to children ages 5 and younger; families welcome. Visit www. libraryforlife.org for more info.

Drop-in Craft Day Imagine That! Toy Store, Mishawaka

Every Wednesday enjoy “Drop-in” Craft Day from 3:30 PM – 5:30 PM. All ages are welcome and an adult must accompany children. Pay $5 for the craft of the day to create and then take home with you! Call 574.254.1600 for more information and for a schedule of upcoming classes also available at the store.

Mom and Baby Exercise Class Thomson’s Physical Therapy, Niles, Michigan

Come get that pre-pregnancy body back while you stimulate your child’s development and learning. Classes are offered every Wednesday morning at 9:30 AM, and free childcare is provided for toddlers during the class (for mothers with more than one). Call for pricing info. For more info call 269.687.9110.

Thursday

Storytime at Hammes Bookstore & Café on Eddy Street

Every Thursday at 11:30 AM, join story time with books, interactive songs and an art project or other activity for young children. Story time is at 11 AM and 1 PM and lasts 45-60 minutes. Check out the Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore Facebook page for an upcoming list of readings (click on the ‘Storytime’ tab).

Drop-in Craft Day Imagine That! Toy Store, Mishawaka

Every Thursday enjoy “Drop-in” Craft Day

from 3:30 PM – 5:30 PM. All ages are welcome and an adult must accompany children. Pay $5 for the craft of the day to create and then take home with you! Call 574.254.1600 for more information and for a schedule of upcoming classes also available at the store.

Friday

Downtown South Bend’s First Fridays

The first Friday of each month explore downtown South Bend from 5 PM-9 PM. Visit www.dtsbfirstfridays.com for a listing of events taking place, including activities and experiences for kids, adults and families.

Saturday

Family Programs at Curious Kids’ Museum Curious Kids’ Museum and Discovery Zone, St. Joseph, MI

Every Saturday from 12 PM – 4 PM, the museum hosts family-friendly programs that are fun for all ages. Check out the new Discover Zone (for children ages 3 and up); also hosting Saturday family programming at the same time. Call 269.983.2543 for more information. Admission fee or membership to museum is required.

July

Sunday, July 1

Country Music and Fireworks at the 4H Fair! St. Joseph County 4H Fairgrounds, South Bend

Jimmie Robbins and the CMR Band perform on the grandstand stage starting at 8 PM followed by the annual fireworks display at dusk. CMR Band performs country, classic rock, blues and gospel music. All entertainment is free after admission to the fair. For more info, visit 4hfair.com.

Tuesday, July 3

New Buffalo Independence Celebration New Buffalo, MI

Start your holiday early with New Buffalo Business Association at a beach celebration. Free concert by Southwest Michigan Symphony Orchestra, made possible by Pokagon Fund, with a huge fireworks display as grand finale on Tuesday July 3rd. Several family events scheduled for the rest of the week and weekend including: professional volleyball tournament, surfing demos, movies, live music and sand sculpting!

*Please be sure to call ahead to confirm times and information. Have an event you’d like to submit? Visit www.michianafamilymagazine.com! Celebration lasts from July 3 to July 8. Free admission. For more info, newbuffalo.org.

Thursday, July 5

Comedy Night at the 4H Fair St. Joseph County 4H Fairgrounds, South Bend

Three favorite comedians from the Bob & Tom radio show perform together. Bob Zany of the Zany Report, Tim Cavanaugh, the oneminute song guy and Scott Dunn, history wiz will keep us laughing all evening! There is no additional charge for this show after admission to the fair. Adults $8, children age 8 and under are free. Show starts at 8 PM. For more info, visit 4hfair.com.

Friday, July 6 First Fridays

Downtown, South Bend

Bring the family and explore downtown South Bend. Local businesses host events, and you’ll be able to explore interesting boutiques, galleries, cafes, restaurants and more. Most events are free or at a reduced cost. 5 to 9 PM. For more info, visit hdtsbfirstfridays.com.

Street Beat Concert at the 4H Fair St. Joseph 4H Fairgrounds

Street Beat is a maximum energy explosion of urban rhythm and dance utilizing junk, household items and found objects for drums and percussion and featuring modern “parkour” choreography. There is no charge for this concert after admission to the fair. Adults $8, children age 8 and under free. Starts at 8 PM. For more info, visit 4hfair.com.

Saturday, July 7

Jollay Independence Day Celebration Jollay Orchards, Coloma, MI

Explore the orchards for red, white and blue items, enjoy a hayride, ride on the Ferris wheel, try the fishing pond, enjoy pulled pork sandwiches or hot dogs, check out the petting zoo animals, and play fun family games. The Emerald Avenue invites you to explore all of their properties on Friday Rd. at Exit 39 off I-94. Visit Grandpa’s Cider Mill at 2941 Friday Road to sample cider, explore the dinosaur farm and fly a kite with the dinosaurs. Visit Jollay Market at 3401 Friday Rd. for a sandwich, cup of LavAzza coffee, apple salsa or a scoop or two of Sherman’s hand-dipped ice cream. Two day event. From 10:30 AM to 5:30 PM. $7 per person. For more info, visit jollayorchards.com.

Sunday, July 8 La Porte County Fair

La Porte County Fair Grounds, La Porte

It’s Indiana’s oldest county fair! From July 8-14, enjoy the great food, demonstrations and entertainment, including performances by Eli Young Band, Colt Ford and Ted Nugent! Learn more about the great acts taking place by visiting laportecountyfair.org.

Monday, July 9 Vacation Bible School

Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, South Bend

Children in grades K-6 are welcome to join the evening VBS, entitled “Sky: Everything is Possible with God.” Enjoy incredible music, amazing experiments, wild games, lipsmacking snacks, surprising adventures, and new friends! All participants will receive a t-shirt! Please print a registration form from the website and send in by July 1st. Cost $10.00. From July 9-13, 6 to 8:30 PM. For more info, visit holytrin.com.

Summer Art Classes at the SBMA: Session 3 South Bend Museum of Art, South Bend

SBMA is scheduling 4 one-week sessions offering 15 different classes for kids ages 6-14. Session 3: July 9-13: Choose from among 7 classes: learn to use the potter’s wheel and hand build with clay; explore the basics of art with a new medium every day; create original art based on the Museum’s collection, learn basic drawing skills, turn family photos into works of art with the basics of bookmaking, or learn to work with copper, bronze, or silver in the metal studio. Classes meet for two hours in the morning (9:30 to11:30 AM) or afternoon (12:30 to 2:30 PM); or pack your lunch and stay all day! $100 per class for SBMA members; $125, nonmembers. For more info, visit southbendart.org.

Pioneer Life Day Camp Elkhart County Historical Museum, Elkhart

For children entering 1st thru 3rd grade. Kids can experience life long ago as they participate in pioneer era games, crafts, chores and other activities. Go to school in a one room school house and learn how grain is turned in to flour using the power of water. Campers will visit the Elkhart County Historical Museum, Bonneyville Mill, and the One Room School House. $25 per child. July 9-10, 9 AM to 12 PM. Preregister by July 6. Call 574.535.6458 or

visit elkhartcountyhistory.org for more info.

Tuesday, July 10

Breastfeeding Class for Moms and Dads at Lakeland HealthCare

Lakeland Center for Outpatient Services, St. Joseph, MI

Breastfeeding provides the best nutrition for your baby and is a special time for mothers and babies to bond. The class will cover: The benefits of breastfeeding, how to know when your baby is hungry, proper latch-on methods, checking your baby’s input (feeding) and output (dirty or wet diapers), how to prepare to return to work, weaning. Parents should attend the class prior to their baby’s birth. $30.00 (due at registration). From 6 to 8:30 PM.

Wednesday, July 11 Summer Movie Extravaganza

Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Harris Branch

Are you looking for a good movie this summer? Coded signals and mysterious islands are at the core of this adventure at the Harris Branch Library on July 11 at 2 PM. The movie is free, but tickets are required and are available at the library. For more information, call 574.271.3179.

Ronald McDonald Show Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Bittersweet Branch

It’s Magic Time! Families are invited to join the fun with America’s beloved clown, Ronald McDonald. Ronald will visit on July 11 at 11 AM. Tickets are required. For more info, call 574.259.0392.

Friday, July 13

Yard Sale at A Rosie Place A Rosie Place, South Bend

Don’t miss the 3rd Annual Yard Sale at A Rosie Place, Indiana’s first specialty hospital offering respite services to medically fragile children and their families. Call 574.235.8899 to arrange drop off of donations. Come and shop Friday and Saturday, July 13 and 14. From 9 AM to 4 PM. For more info, visit arosieplace.org.

Saturday, July 14

2012 MMGA Garden Tour Harrison Christian School, Goshen

Join the Michiana Master Gardeners for their 16th annual Garden Tour. The tour will take place in the rural surroundings of Wakarusa. The Hospitality Center for 2012 is the Harrison Christian School, 64784 County Road 11, Goshen. You will begin your journey here, guided by the map located in THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

your ticket book. Ticket books cost $10 in advance, $12 day of, if any remaining. The Hospitality Center boasts unique gifts and garden related items for sale. Center open from 9 AM to 1 PM with gardens open from 10 AM until 4 PM on Saturday only. For more info, visit michianamastergardeners.com.

ShakeScenes University of Notre Dame Washington Hall, South Bend

Calling all Shakespeare fans! Don’t miss this event where area actors perform and put their own mark on some favorite Shakespeare plays and scenes. It’s a free event. Starts at 2 PM. For more information, visit shakespeare.nd.edu.

Sunday, July 15

Family Day at The Snite Museum The Snite Museum, Notre Dame

Bring a little art and culture into your family. For family day, the museum will have fun activities, gallery games and even some refreshments. From 1 to 4 PM. For more info, visit snitemuseum.nd.edu.

Monday, July 16 Recycling Camp

Woodlawn Nature Center, Elkhart

There are so many fun recycling crafts to make. There are so many good reasons to recycle. Spend a week learning more about recycling and creating beautiful crafts. You can spend time in the woods exploring and collecting sticks and leaves to use in your crafting. We will spend time in the museum creating crafts and just enjoying all the museum has to offer. Cost $60. July 16-20, 8 to 11 AM. For more info, call 574.215.3895.

Mishawaka Olympics Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Downtown Branch

While London is the official host of the summer Olympics, Mishawaka is hosting its own version! Children entering grades 4-6 can show off their athletic skills involving simplified feats of get-up-andmove-it fun at 2:30 PM. Registration is required and begins July 2. For more info, call 574.259.5277, ext. 242.

Tuesday, July 17

July Diggin’ in the Dirt: Kids Garden Club Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Bittersweet Branch

Children entering grades 1-6 are invited to have fun gardening at 11 AM. A variety of hands-on activities are planned including beautifying the library grounds and learning gardening tips and techniques to use at home. Space is limited. Registration is required and begins July 3. For more info, call 574.259.0392. 42 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

Wednesday, July 18

Jeff Dunham “Controlled Chaos” Morris Performing Arts Center, South Bend

Jeff Dunham’s new “Controlled Chaos” tour offers his millions of fans brand new laughs to his famed troupe of sidekicks. From 8 to 10:30 PM. $54 for all seats. For more info, visit morriscenter.org.

Arts in Bloom Garden Walk Resurrection Lutheran Academy, South Bend

Sponsored by The Art League in support of projects at the South Bend Museum of Art, enjoy a walk showcasing gardens of individual style and design on the northwest side of South Bend. Tickets are available the day of the walk for $10 at Resurrection Lutheran Academy, across from Blackthorn Golf Course. From 10 AM to 5:30 PM. For more info, visit southbendart.com.

Lose Weight: Free Health Education Seminars Lakeland Comprehensive Weight Loss Center, Niles

The Lakeland Comprehensive Weight Loss Center is offering free seminars to learn about solutions to permanent weight loss. Dr. Michael Schuhknecht, one of Michigan’s most experienced bariatric surgeons, and staff members of the Lakeland Comprehensive Weight Loss Center will discuss programs available for losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight for years to come. Free event. From 6 to 8:30 PM. For more info visit lakelandhealth.org/weightloss.

Thursday, July 19

Jack of All Games: An Organized Game Tournament Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Bittersweet Branch

Don’t miss this organized tournament from 6:30 to 8:30 PM. Bring your family and enjoy playing organized games like chess, checkers, Chinese checkers, Canadian checkers, backgammon, Mancala, Scrabble, and Nine Men’s Morris. If you don’t know how to play a game, help will be available. The event is free and all ages are welcome. Snacks will be provided, and all participants will receive small prizes. For more info, call 574.259.0392.

Friday, July 20

Elkhart County 4-H Fair The Elkhart County 4-H Fairgrounds, Goshen

Don’t miss one of the largest county fairs in the nation. For 9 days from July 20-July 28, attendees will enjoy all the fair has to offer, including national acts performing in front of the free grandstands. Among the events are the RV rallies, Michiana Mennonite Relief Sale,

and performances from Styx and Thompson Square. For more info, visit 4hfair.org.

Enshrinement Festival College Football Hall of Fame, South Bend

This favorite festival offers a weekend of fun activities for fans and families as everyone celebrates the induction of football greats into the Hall of Fame. Fans can even meet with the Enshrinees and other football stars at the event. Fun lasts through Saturday. From 11 AM to 10 PM. For more info, visit collegefootball.org.

Monday, July 23 The Rosie Golf Classic

Warren Golf Course, Notre Dame

O’Hana Heritage Foundation is hosting its 8th Annual Golf outing to raise funds for A Rosie Place. A Rosie Place is a specialty hospital that offers respite and support services to families of medically fragile children in our community. This year’s event is at the Warren Golf Course at Notre Dame, a Coore & Crenshaw Course. Event includes lunch, a complimentary golf clinic and hors d’oeuvres and cocktails following the game. $750/Foursome / $1000 Foursome + Hole Sponsorship. 11 AM. For more info, visit arosieplace.org.

Tuesday, July 24 Reading Bubble

Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Harris Branch

Children entering preschool through grade 5 can earn up to 30 summer reading minutes and enjoy a unique experience by reading in an inflatable reading bubble from 10 AM to noon and 2 to 4 PM. Parents of children aged 8 and under must accompany their child into the reading bubble. Parents of older children will need to remain in the room during the reading event. Registration is required. For more info, call 574.271.3179.

Christmas in July Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Downtown Branch

Why wait until December to have the cool fun of all things Christmas? Children entering grades 1-3 can make a snowman, have a snowball fight, and sing a carol or two at 2:30 PM. Registration is required and begins July 10. For more info, call 574.259.5277, ext. 242.

Wednesday, July 25

Stroke Awareness Lunch & Learn Salvation Army, Niles

The Margaret Beckley Upton Center for Health Enhancement will offer a series of free “Lunch and Learn” events designed with your health and well-being in mind. Learn what a stroke is, warning signs,

prevention and more from 12:30 to 1:30 PM. Registration is encouraged, but not required; walk-ins are welcome. For more health education classes and information, visit lakelandhealth.org. For more info on the event, call 269.556.2808 or 866.260.7544.

Thursday, July 26 Minute to Win It

Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Downtown Branch

At 2:30 PM children entering grades 3-6 are invited to see if they have a ‘Minute to Win It!’ Based on the popular TV show, minigames will be played using everyday items such as cereal boxes, paper cups, and soda bottles. Children will have sixty seconds to successfully complete each game. Small prizes will be awarded. Registration is required and begins July 12. For more info, call 574.259.5277, ext. 242.

Saturday, July 28

Bonneyville Millers Vintage Base Ball Match Ox Bow Park, Elkhart

Come see your Elkhart County Vintage Base Ball Team take on the Munster Centennials and the Laffayette Couriers in two “gloveless” games of historical base ball. The “ballists” will dress in Civil War Era game attire and use rules from the 1860s! Fan participation is welcome. Fun for the whole family! From 11 AM to 3 PM. $3 per car admission to Ox Bow Park. For more info, visit elkhartcountyparks.org/ bonneyvillemillers.htm.

Hospice at Home Wine and Beer Tasting Dan and Mary Nulty’s home, South Haven, MI

Hospice at Home, an affiliate of Lakeland HealthCare, will hold its annual Wine & Beer Tasting event at 6 to 9 PM on the bluff of South Beach at Dan and Mary Nulty’s home. With the generosity of OK Distributors and many local wineries and breweries, fine wines and specialty beer selections will be available to taste. Heavy hors d’oeuvres will be provided by Jay Marcoux, Phoenix Street Catering and Restaurant and there will also be a silent auction and a raffle. Wine & Beer Tasting tickets are available for $50 per person. Tickets are available at the South Haven Hospice at Home office on Blue Star Highway, South Haven Visitors Bureau, and Wolverine Hardware, or online: hospiceathomecares.org.

THANK YOU

to our monthly distribution partners 32 Pearls Dentistry Allied Pediatrics Babies R Us Chic-Fil-A Clay Preschool & Church Debbie Werbrouck School of Dance & Music Early Childhood Development Center at Notre Dame Elkhart General Hospital Eye Site Optical Family Sports Time Pub Fiddlers Hearth FitStop Friends Preschool & Daycare Granger Community Church Granger Family Medicine Growing Kids Learning Center Gymnastics Michiana ICE Athletics Kumon Learning Center Lakeland Healthcare Menno Travel Midwest Orthotics Mutual Bank Notre Dame Federal Credit Union Once Upon a Child Soccer Zone South Bend Clinic South Bend Medical Foundation South Bend Orthopedics Stacks Pancake House St. Thomas the Apostle School Strikes & Spares South Bend Chocolate Traditions Photography Trinity Lutheran School Urban Swirl Victorian Pantry YMCA of Elkhart If you would like to receive The FAMILY Magazine at your familyfocused business or organization each month, please email your request to: media@michianafamilymagazine.com. THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

Special Section Yadda Yaddas

Pick Your Battles

Cloth Diapering FAQs Mean Moms Rule

The Invisible Woman Play Dates

Photography: Classic Image Photography, Granger

The Local Parenting Resource for Expectant Parents and Families with Younger Children

44 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

BACK TO LIFE AFTER MINIMALLY INVASIVE SPINE SURGERY

Jodi began experiencing pain in her lower back and left leg. The pain interfered with her lifestyle, and everyday activities like work and exercise became unbearable. Jodiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lower back and leg pain are in the past after successful spine surgery at South Bend Spine. Using a minimally invasive approach, her orthopedic spine surgeon removed a portion of her lumbar disc that was damaged.

Have a back or neck problem? Call 574-247-6556 to request a FREE 36-page Home Remedy Book.

574-247-6556 www.southbendspine.com 60160 Bodnar Blvd., Mishawaka MI CHILD MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

M i C H I L D • S P E C I A L PA R E N T I N G F E AT U R E S E C T I O N

mi Corner Our tips, picks, news and advice.

a d d a Y a d d a Y Have a Yad you'd like da Yadda to share? S e n d it to kerri@mic hianafam

ilymagazi

ne.com!

We love how kids think! Just check out the examples below. They’re sure to make you smile. I was frantically cleaning the house before a dinner party when my son asked me why I was doing so much work. I told him I didn’t want our guests to think we were slobs. Soon after they arrived, my son asked them, “So, did we fool you, because our house is NEVER this clean!” ~Jane

6-year-old Madison, as always, corrects her little sister by stating, “It’s not ‘Apricot.’ It’s ‘Apple-cot.’” ~Lea

Kenna, age 3, explaining how people are made: “First you put on the feet, then the body, then the tushy.” ~Meagan

My 3 1/2 year old granddaughter, Brooke, was helping me fold a huge basket of laundry. We found a random very small piece of white fabric and wondered what it was for. Her eyes suddenly got large and she exclaimed, “Oh, my goodness, we washed a paper towel!” ~Kathy

My 7-year-old exclaimed she was “as hot as a mouse in a cat parade” on one of our recent warmer days. ~Sarah

I overheard this conversation between my two sons, Jack who is 8 and Cade who is 7, as they were doing their homework:

My son Patrick and I recently had the dreaded talk about how babies are made. After listening intently to my explanation, Patrick said, “You went through all that to get Ainsley and me? That sounds like a lot of work.” ~Amy This week, while on our Disney vacation, my 3-year-old Kaitlyn asks, “When can we go to Apricot (meaning Epcot)?” My 46 MI CHILD MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

Jack: “You know, it seems like people from Texas act like they are the best and that Texas is the biggest and are always saying stuff like ‘don’ t mess with Texas.’ I just don’ t get it.” Cade: “Are you serious? Who are these people? Have they ever seen or heard of the size of Russia?! What about Alaska even!? That is ridiculous!” Jack: “Tell me about it.” ~Sarah R.

Story Time Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting By Pamela Druckerman

Reviewed by Sue Reber Reference Librarian Bittersweet Branch of the MishawakaPenn-Harris Public Library American journalist Pamela Druckerman gives birth to her first child in France, and so begins “Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting.” Druckerman quickly discovers the difference between the French and the American way of parenting. She starts compiling a notebook of observations on how the French parent from birth into the school years. She notices that, in France, the children are so well-behaved and the mothers are relaxed, but how could this be? How can babies be sleeping through the night at two to three months old? Why is learning and reading not encouraged at a very early age? How do they get their children to eat the right foods? Many of these questions are answered as the author experiences firsthand how the French parent. Druckerman also notices that when she goes out to eat, the French families are able to get through dinner quietly without disruptions. How do they get their children to be so patient? The book has information from French pediatricians and general studies comparing parenting in America and France. Yet, Druckerman does not agree with everything she notices in France, and writes how every parent should decide the best way to parent their children. “Bringing Up Bébé” gives an insightful look into the everyday life of European culture, and it is fun to be an armchair traveler to France. The author’s observations are entertaining and thought provoking. MI CHILD MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

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Mommy & Daddy

Pick Your Battles By Laurie Puhn

We’ve all heard the saying, “pick your battles.” That sounds like a good way to reduce unnecessary fights, but exactly how are we supposed to pick the right ones? When I ask audiences at my speaking events about this, many respond with comments like, “just pick the ones that are worth it” or “pick the ones you think you can win.” But, if you follow that advice, prepare yourself for more battles, not less! If we want to reduce the number of fights we have with our spouse, children and/or friends, then there is only one way to do it: smarten up! How do you do that? It’s easy. Before you open your mouth to give some unwanted advice or criticism, ask yourself this single best question: Does this affect me? If your answer is no, then say nothing and don’t pick the battle. To give this wise question a reality check, I’ll share a little story. A husband (who shall remain nameless) was heading to work one summer day when his wife thoughtfully suggested he take an umbrella because according to the weather report there was a high chance of rain. When that same husband returned home that evening with dripping wet hair, his wife watched him shake off his coat and pull off his wet shoes. She instinctively blurted out, “I told you to take an umbrella,” to which the husband naturally and expectedly replied, “I don’t mind getting a little wet.” “A little wet?” questioned the wife. “You look like you were in a hurricane.” And so, the husband responded a little louder, “I 48 MI CHILD MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

like the rainfall on a warm day, and I will never take an umbrella because they are too annoying to carry around.” The wife felt she couldn’t let such a ridiculous comment go unchallenged… and then the fight began. In retrospect, it’s clear that this was the wrong battle to pick. But in the moment, how could this woman have known? The answer is that she could have smartened up and asked herself how this situation personally affected her. Was she sopping wet? No. Was her husband asking her to blow dry his hair or dry his clothing? No. His getting wet did not personally affect her, even though it did annoy her. Therefore, picking that battle was a bad choice. I’m sure there are many things that your spouse does that may bother or annoy you, but how many of them truly affect you and take up your time or money? Remember that your spouse is not perfect, but you are not there to fix him or her. Rather than jumping in with unnecessary criticism that sparks a fight, be smart, take a breath, and hold your tongue. This too shall pass.

Laurie Puhn is a Harvard-educated lawyer, couples mediator, relationship expert, and bestselling author of “Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In,” who appears on Good Morning America, 20/20, Fox News and CNN. Most importantly, she is a wife and mother to two young children. Visit her interactive site at www.fightlesslovemore.com.

S E V O , -3 ILL

W 'OOD

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

When you attend our first Goodwill Loves Moms event, you’ll receive a Reward Card and re-useable Donation Bag. Each time you fill your Donation Bag, we’ll validate your Reward Card. When your card is full, we’ll send you a gift valued at $25.00!

Thanks Mom! And thanks for donating to Goodwill.

Clutter Diet Tip: The clothes in your closet should fit & flatter you TODAY. Don’t give yourself negative messages every morning! For more information on organizing and tips to reduce the clutter in your home, visit our website: www.goodwill-ni.org and click on: The Clutter Diet.

Goodwill Loves Moms Celebration Lunch Thursday, September 13th Windsor Park Conference Center Mishawaka, Indiana Friday, September 14th Strongbow Inn Valparaiso, Indiana Guest Speaker Lorie Marrero, Certified Professional Organizer® & author of: The Clutter Diet. Information & Tickets www.goodwill-ni.org (574) 472-7300

Our Mission: Provide jobs, training and placement services for people with barriers to employment. Like Us

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10:15:37 AM

Cloth Diapering FAQs

M i C H I L D â&#x20AC;˘ S P E C I A L PA R E N T I N G F E AT U R E S E C T I O N

Newborn

Dispelling the Misconceptions of Using Cloth By Meagan Church

1 2

ging a Cloth Steps to Chan Diaper: e open old on top of th 1) Lay out the prr. ef

diaper cove d wipe dirty diaper an er e th e ov em R 2) the clean diap the baby. Place . under the baby baby as er around the 3) Fold the diap . up ver you pull the co r and done! Close the cove

50 MI CHILD MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

Six years ago as we began our journey to parenthood, we had a lot of decisions to make, from birth plans to nursery décor and everything in between. One choice was an easy one: we would cloth diaper our kids. Six years and three kids later, we still cloth diaper. Why? A combination of frugality, environment, health and simplicity. Yes, that’s right; using cloth is quite simple. What we’ve discovered along the way is that a lot of misconceptions surround cloth diapering and prevent many from trying it for themselves. For us, it took some research, and trial and error, but we quickly fell into a diapering system that works for our family. We have gotten plenty of questions over the years, and we are always happy to answer them and to do our best at dispelling those misconceptions.

What Style of Diaper Do You Use?

Once we made the choice to use cloth, the research began. I explored the various types to choose from. In the end, we chose to go cheap with pre-folds and Velcro covers. I had wanted to try all-in-ones, but they had two negatives for me: cost and the amount of dry time. Our decision was further sealed when we used Diapers Unlimited Dydee Service for the first couple of months. Before investing a lot of money in buying our own diapers, we thought we would try it out with minimal commitment. Once a week, the service would deliver clean diapers and covers to our doorstep and pick up a trash bag of dirty ones. When we needed a new size, more diapers or had any questions, all we had to do was call. Using the service helped us realize just how easy diapering could be, so we eventually made the decision to save even more money by purchasing our own diapers. Since we had used pre-folds through the service, we stuck with them.

How Do You Fold Them?

People can get easily intimated when they see a pre-fold. All-inones resemble more of a disposable, where as pre-folds are a large rectangle that needs to be folded around the baby and be kept in place with a cover (by the way, pins are no longer required). Here’s the secret: it really doesn’t matter how the diaper is folded as long as it is all tucked inside the waterproof cover. My husband and I have our own folding styles. It’s all a matter of preference. What really matters is that all the cloth is inside the cover so when the cloth gets wet, it won’t leak and soak onto the baby’s outfit…or more.

doesn’t have to be a messy deal. While there are sprayers you can attach to your toilet to wash off a dirty diaper, we have never had to use one. We prefer to use rice paper liners. They are something like a dryer sheet that lay on top of the diaper before it is folded onto the child. Then it catches the solid waste and is easily dumped into the toilet and flushed away. No mess. No worries. Incidentally, it is advised that waste even in disposable diapers be flushed down the toilet instead of put into the landfills to help prevent groundwater contamination.

How Do You Wash Them?

A lot of people assume using cloth means a lot of extra laundry. With a 4-month-old, we do a load once every four to five days. We use a very small amount of Tide Free detergent with a scoop of Oxyclean for good measure. We wash on the whitest whites cycle, so it has an extra rinse and hot water. Then we dry them. We have never separated diapers from covers. In fact, we even use cloth wipes (square pieces of flannel that we wet with water right before use). Everything, including the wet bag, goes into the machine together. When the load is dry and done, we stack the diapers and wipes, put them under the changing table and that’s it. In fact, once our kids get old enough, we have them join in and stack with us.

Doesn’t It Take A Lot Of Time?

No. Changing a cloth diaper takes as much time as a disposable. Instead of tossing it into the trash, we toss it into the diaper pail. As for the laundry, I’d estimate it takes up 10 minutes a week to get them into the washer and dryer and then stacked and put them away.

Does It Really Save Money?

Absolutely. Our diaper system includes 36 small pre-folds; 48 large pre-folds; six doublers (absorbent inserts for over-night use); between five and 10 covers in each size small, medium and large; rice paper liners; wet bags in sizes small, medium and extra large; trash can; and deodorizing disks for the diaper pail. Most of the items have been new, but the small pre-folds and some covers were found gently used on Craig’s List. My best estimate for the total cost is $600. That cost has gotten us through two children with number three in them right now. And did I mention that if they remain in good condition, we can sell them in the end? Now that is music to a frugal mom’s ears!

Where Do You Put The Dirty Diapers?

No fancy diaper pails are necessary. All we use is a trashcan with a lid. With the diaper service, we lined the trashcan with a trash bag. Instead of wasting that plastic with each load of diapers after we quit the service, we purchased a large wet bag that fits in the can. When we place the diapers into the washing machine, the bag goes with them. The bag works so well that we decided to buy smaller ones for the diaper bag to put dirty diapers in when we are out and about.

So What Happens To The Pooh?

In the olden days (when I was a kid in cloth), most people used a wet pail, meaning it had water or some sort of cleaning solution in it. The thought of emptying a can full of wastewater doesn’t sound ideal to me. When a baby is exclusively breastfed, the diaper can go directly into the pail with no rinsing or disposal of any sort. It all washes out in the machine. When formula and food are introduced, it becomes necessary to clear out the waste before putting it into the pail and eventually the machine. But even this

Meagan Church is a writer and mother of 3 kids. Her current projects include DefiningMotherhood, and Unexpectant where she explores the realities of modern motherhood for her book project.

Escape to Home.

Beautiful Plants. Fresh Produce. Unique gifts.

5865 Sawyer Road • Sawyer, MI 49125 • 269-426-8810 • sawyergardencenter.com MI CHILD MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

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Parenting

Mean Moms

Rule

Interview with author and blogger Denise Schipani

By Meagan Francis

When I was growing up, I remember thinking my mom was “mean” for the following: • Expecting me to dry the dishes. • Expecting me to re-dry the dishes after I put a soaking stack of plates in the cupboard. • Grounding me after I tried (and failed in a most epic way) to lie about where I was going with a friend. • Refusing to allow me to see the Kevin Bacon/Elizabeth McGovern movie “She’s Having A Baby” at the movie theatre when I was 11, even though “everyone else was going.” Though I stomped my feet and groused around the house after these displays of motherly authority, I also remember, down deep, feeling a little glimmer of respect for my mom each time she put her foot down or drew a hard line. I might not agree with her standards – or at least, I wished I could get around them – but I secretly liked that she had them. Maybe that’s why I’ve always been such a fan of my friend Denise Schipani’s take on modern motherhood. Even though we don’t agree on everything and have somewhat different baby-rearing styles, Denise and I share a respect for a mom’s position as an authority figure in the house, a deep aversion to mom guilt, and an understanding that mothers deserve to be happy. In other words: we don’t have to do everything the same to “get” each other as moms. (Mommy wars? Pfft.) Denise’s brand-new book “Mean Moms Rule” just hit bookstores recently, and I was thrilled to have a chance to interview her. Denise is witty, down-to-earth, and a champion of happier motherhood – you’re in for a treat! Meagan: I think when people hear the word “mean” they sometimes think grumpy, sour or negative. But I know you, and I know that’s not what you’re about at all. So tell us, what do you think it really means to be a “mean” mom? Denise: Well, I can be grumpy (we all can!), but as you say, my definition of “mean” has nothing to do with that, or with being cold, unfeeling, harsh or negative. I called my approach mean because it’s not easy to do. It takes a hard (or “mean”) line against the permissive, helicopter-y, indulgent brand of parenting I’ve been seeing all around me since well before I had kids. I call it “squishy” parenting. So, to me, “mean” is being in charge. Mean is being unafraid of seeing my children temporarily uncomfortable (if they can’t do what they want when they want, or if they encounter one of the many life occasions that are unfair). Mean is staying true to myself, not drowning in the pool of motherhood. Mean is thinking more about the endgame of raising kids than about the here-and-now. Mean is not overprotecting my children to the point where they are unable to take a step later – as adolescents and then as men – 52 MI CHILD MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

without looking back at me (or texting me!) to see if it’s okay, or to assume I’ll fix what’s not okay. Meagan: How has being mean made you happier, more confident and more functional as a mother? Denise: It makes a lot of things clear, or clearer. For example, if I’ve decided (with my husband) on certain house rules, the hard part is already over. If bedtime is at 8, then that’s that. My boys may not have to be tucked up in the dark at 8 pm, but they do have to be ready for bed and upstairs doing whatever it is they do before we call for a lights out. They also know that if things get too crazy upstairs, one of us will be making the actual lights-out time earlier. Things like this make me more confident as a mom because I’m not always bracing myself for protracted nightly negotiation sessions. It makes me happier because there’s this point in the evening where I simply need my “mom” switch to slide to the off position, you know? Not that I wouldn’t go to them if they need me, naturally (let me tell you about the times I’ve rocked a 7-year-old in terrible pain from an ear infection for hours on end). It’s like this: When you make well-considered decisions about how you want things to more or less turn out down the line, you remove a lot of second-guessing from your life, which has translated, for me, into a greater confidence as a mother. I call it “starting as you mean to go on.” Meagan: Along those same lines, I think we’d both agree that there are certain things mothers do to try to be “nice” that can just end up making them crankier in the end… Denise: Absolutely! I think there are a lot of very well-intentioned attempts among modern mothers to be the “nice mom,” the one who says yes all the time, who always has the ice cream, who does a lot of things that, on reflection, she may not have wanted to do. And a lot of times it happens because she made a decision in the moment that had mostly to do with instant gratification, such as buying the toy she really didn’t want to buy – either because she doesn’t find it appropriate or it’s too expensive or because the kid already has 10 similar toys. She did it to bring that smile to her child’s face, or to head off a tantrum (when they’re tiny) or exhausting pushback (when they’re older), or to “make a memory.”

But all those zillions of yeses, those attempts to appear as the “nice” mom, have a knockon effect, both for you and for your child. For you, well, you end up doing things (like buying the toy or allowing the violent video game or whatever) you didn’t really want to, which leaves you unsatisfied and unhappy. And for your child, you run the risk of ending up with a child who has heard yes so many times, he expects to hear yes all the time – and not just from you. (“What do you mean I can’t postpone that college final? I’m tired!” Or, “What do you mean I don’t get to go straight from entry level to the CEO suite?” Meagan: When moms choose to draw firm boundaries and stick to them, it’s inevitable that their kids will think they’re mean once in a while. But not all the time, of course! When do you think your kids would say that you’re “nice”? Denise: Um….never? Just kidding! My kids think I’m awesome, and I use “awesome” in its proper way, which is “full of awe.” Honestly, I don’t think my kids think of me as the nicest mom on the block, in the same way that I never thought my mom was the nicest on the block. But in the same way that my mom, even though she was pretty strict, was the only mom I wanted (the other moms didn’t make good grilled cheese, for example), I think – I hope – my kids respect me and also appreciate what’s cool about me, even if they’re still kinda young. They know that I’m strict, but they also know that I’m someone they can look up to. And they also know me as someone who is unbelievably silly with them. Some of my best moments are when I get silly (talking in an exaggerated British accent; making up dialog for the birds that gather in our yard in the morning) and my younger son says, “Again! Again!” I guess what I’m saying is that while I quite naturally want my sons to like (and love) me, I’d prefer that “like” to arise first from respect. Oh, that sounds so old school! But there are times old school just fits. I don’t see a disconnect between respect and love; I think there’s something we lost, collectively as parents, when we tried – over the last several generations – to be our kids’ friends. We got down on their level and started dancing too fast trying to please them. That left a vacancy at the top, where the parents (like my mom, and her excellent grilled cheese) used to be. Meagan Francis lives in St. Joseph, Michigan and is a mother of five children. She is also the author of the books “The Happiest Mom: 10 Secrets To Enjoying Motherhood” and “One Year to An Organized Life with Baby.” MI CHILD MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

M i C H I L D • S P E C I A L PA R E N T I N G F E AT U R E S E C T I O N

Parenting

The

Invisible

Woman By Jane Suter

ife is a series of snapshots, frozen moments in time that serve as proof you were “here.” From the long ago black and white, often yellowed and mustysmelling photos of yourself as an infant, to the presentday digital downloads, it’s all documented. But something peculiar happened right after I gave birth to my first child. I became invisible. Mysteriously, I disappeared from all family events and summer vacations. My husband was there. So were my kids. I have proof. But where was I? Oh, now I remember – I was the one taking the pictures.

Now, what does my invisibility have to do with the Department of Motor Vehicles? Everything! You see, my driver’s license photo is the only evidence I have that I even exist. So, I was more than a little giddy when I received my renewal letter from them to update my plastic card. But this year I was going to be smart about it. Against all odds, I was going to be the first person, ever, to thwart their insidious fugly filter – because we all know the DMV makes you look unfortunate on purpose. They do this in case you’re ever arrested for an unnatural or otherwise serious bell-tower-like crime. The media will splash this lone, freakish snapshot of you to convince every viewer, and future jury member, that you really are guilty. “Good grief,” they will say. “She totally looks insane. Did you see that picture?” 54 MI CHILD MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

So I took countermeasures before I went in. I put on lipstick and eye shadow. I tweezed my brows and even shaved my upper lip. But we all know this was an exercise in futility. Let’s review the facts: The lady behind the camera, the same camera Mathew Brady used at Gettysburg, is still working at the DMV. I think she came with the building. Anyway, this woman is obviously the mastermind behind the ugly-picture generator. To prove my point, eight years ago my driver’s license photo made me look like I was a drunk homeless person. Four years ago she took, what I can only describe as “constipated serial-killer Jane.” And today, after all of my primping and plucking, this happened...I walked into their concrete jail and took a number. The smell of industrial disinfectant mixed with the broken dreams of the pilgrims assembled here told me I was in the right place. I sat down in one of the plastic chairs and rooted nervously through my purse for more lipstick. But there was no time. My number was called almost immediately. As I approached the counter, I was directed to answer a bunch of questions and then told to have a seat. In my mind, I was on a break. So I spaced out until I vaguely heard, “Look at the red dot and smile.” *CLICK* Apparently I had suffered a stroke when she pushed the button. I know this because the photo displayed was me with half of my mouth sagging downward and my left eye firmly paralyzed in the “holy cow!” position. She then asked if it was a “keeper.” Um, no. So we went for round two. On this spin, the expression on my face this time was somewhere in between “I just saw a naked old guy run past me” and “why did you toss a dead squirrel at my head.” Unfortunately, I now had to choose between the two distinctly regrettable poses. I picked the stroke picture. I figure it will garner me more sympathy at my imaginary future trial. So, thank you DMV. Despite your fugly filter, I can rest well knowing you have given me proof of life, albeit in a series of unflattering life chapters. And now, when my children get older and ask me why I never showed up at their school play, soccer game or birthday party, I can open my wallet and present them with an assortment of demented pictures of myself, all covered by a fancy hologram, each endorsed by the U.S. Government and every one a reminder I am really not invisible.

Jane Suter is an award-winning writer and mom of two very energetic boys, one in kindergarten and the other in second grade. Born in Chicago, she is proud of her Midwestern roots. MI CHILD MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

M i C H I L D • S P E C I A L PA R E N T I N G F E AT U R E S E C T I O N

P lay Dates

Welcome to the heart of summer! You’ve made it this far, and for this we applaud you. At this point, you’ve hopefully developed a summer routine, but we’re guessing you’re always looking for more fun activities to occupy the kiddos. We’ve got you covered. Here are some fun activities for the month of July we’re sure you and your kids will love!

It’s a Jollay Independence Day Celebration!

When we think summer, with think of sunshine, the outdoors and delicious fruit! That’s why we love the idea of taking a trip to Jollay Orchards for their Independence Day Celebration! Dress the kids in red, white and blue and enjoy a day on the farm! There’s a ton of things for the kids to do, and for you as well. You and your little ones can explore the orchards in search of the red, white and blue items, enjoy a hayride, ride the Ferris wheel, try your luck in the fishing pond, savor some pulled pork sandwiches or hot dogs and visit the petting zoo animals. There will be some fun family games as well! Explore and enjoy all of Jollay’s properties on Friday Road at Exit 39 off I-94. Be sure to visit Grandpa’s Cider Mill at 2941 Friday Road to sample some cider and explore the dinosaur farm. Kids can even fly a kite with the dinosaurs. Then head on over to the Jollay Market at 3401 Friday Road for a sandwich, cup of LavAzza coffee, some apple salsa or a scoop or two of Sherman’s hand-dipped ice cream. Admittance is only $7 per person, and the 56 MI CHILD MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

celebration is from July 7-8, from 10:30 to 5:30 PM. Jollay Orchards is located at 1850 Friday Road, Coloma, MI. Visit jollayorchards.com for more info.

Hello Little Picasso!

If you need a creative outlet for your little artist, here it is. The South Bend Museum of Art has tons of classes this summer for kids ages 6-14. They are about to head into Session 3, which is from July 9-13. Kids can choose among seven classes: learn to use the potter’s wheel and hand build with clay; explore the basics of art with a new medium every day; create original art based on the Museum’s collection, learn basic drawing skills, turn family photos into works of art with the basics of bookmaking, or learn to work with copper, bronze, or silver in the metal studio. Classes meet for two hours in the morning (9:30 to11:30 AM) or afternoon (12:30 to 2:30 PM); or pack your lunch and stay all day! It’s $100 per class for SBMA members; $125, nonmembers. For more info, visit southbendart.org.

Experience the Good Ol’ Days!

If you have a kid who’s a fan of history, “Little House on the Prairie,” or is just a pioneer at heart, send him or her to Pioneer Life Day Camp at the Elkhart County Historical Museum. It’s just for kids entering 1st through 3rd grade. The camp lets kids experience what it was like to be a pioneer as they participate in crafts, games, chores and other activities. Your little pioneers will go to school in a one room school house and learn how grain is turned in to flour using the power of water. On the campers map of “places to visit” will be Elkhart County Historical Museum, Bonneyville Mill, and the One Room School House. It’s $25 per child, July 9th and 10th. Camp is from 9 AM to 12 PM. If you’re interested, you’ll need to pre-register by July 6. Call 574.535.6458 or visit elkhartcountyhistory.org for more info!

It Will Be A Fair Day in July!

Fairs, fairs, they’re everywhere! It’s just one of the many reasons you and your kids will love the month of July! Here are some fairs you should plan on checking out!

We’ve We’ve got a got a fetching fetching offer! offer!with your Discover America

St. Joseph County 4H Fair, South Bend From June 29 to July 7: It’s a 9-day event that is sure to have something for the entire family! Fun events and entertainment includes fireworks, a laser show, fun demonstrations, and much more. General admission at the gate is $8, children 8 and under get in free. Enjoy a special rate of $4 on July 4th! From 1 PM to 10 PM. For more info and a listing of all the great activities, visit 4hfair.com.

An Now is a great time to enjoy big savings at select Unforgettable family – and save $300* WaltNow Disney Resort hotels,bigforsavings stays most is aWorld great time to enjoy at select SAVE nights 8/15–9/29/12. baskingfor in stays the sun or La Porte County Fair Walt Disney WorldWhether Resort hotels, most UP SAVE Summer taking a dip in the pool, you’ll be surrounded by magic 30% nights 8/15–9/29/12. Whether in the sun or From July 8 to 14: It’s Indiana’s oldest county It’s not too lateTO toUP book that unforgettable summer vacation you’ve always wanted to give your family. basking Departure withtaking legendary Disney service and special benefits a dip in thethey’re pool, you’ll by magic 30% of our most popular North American itineraries are still available–but fillingbe upsurrounded fast. fair! Among the great food, demonstrationsdates of some TO available nowhere else. Plus, with great rates available Vacation with legendary Disney service and special benefits Save up to 20% at select Disney Value Resorts; up to 25% and entertainment are performances byImagine Eli exploring some of the most amazing places on the continent andinexperiencing every category – fromadventures–like Disney Value Resorts incredible riding to aT a selecT Walt Disney WorlD® aT a selecT ResORT hOTel fOR sTays Walt Disney WorlD® mOsT nighTs 8/15–9/29/12 ResORT hOTel fOR sTays mOsT nighTs 8/15–9/29/12

at select Disney Moderate Resorts; up to 30% at select

available nowhere else. Plus, with great rates available

Save upthe to 20% at select Disney Value Resorts; upglaciers to 25%in Disney Young Band, Colt Ford and Ted Nugent! LearnhorsebackDisney Deluxe Villa Resorts –Disney there’sValue a price to fit to through Wyoming wilderness; encountering Alaska; or rafting down the Colorado River. in every category – from Resorts DeluxeDisney and Deluxe VillaResorts; Resorts. number of at select Moderate upThe to 30% at select every budget. more about the great acts taking place by rooms allocated for these offers is limited. Minimum stay Disney Deluxe Villa Resorts – there’s a price to fit Disney Deluxe and Deluxe Villa Resorts. The number of requirements may apply for Friday or limited. SaturdayMinimum arrivals.stay Justevery budget.park tickets and you can take visiting laportecountyfair.org. add theme rooms allocated for these offers is

$300 off Elkhart County 4H Fair, Goshen From July 20 to July 28: Don’t miss one of the largest county fairs per in the nation. For 9 days, Reservation!

Savings based on the apply non-discounted price of the same advantage entire world fun andcan excitement. requirements for Friday or North Saturday arrivals. Adventures Book select departuresmay of select 2011 season American bythe Disney before Just addoftheme parkitineraries ticketsofand you take room. Additional peronadult charges may apply if more Savings based theJune non-discounted price of thethan same Fetch some magical savings today, and start planning advantage of the entire world of fun and excitement. May 19, 2011 for travel between 14, 2011 and September 24, 2011 and receive $300 off per reservation.* 2 adults per room. Excludes suites, 3-bedroom villas and is room. Additional per adult charges may apply if more than a vacation your magical family will cherish forever. Fetch some savings today, and start planning notselect valid at Disney’s Art of Animation Resort. No group rates *Guests who book departures of select 2011 season North American Adventures by Disney itineraries between April 19, 2011 and May 19, 2011 2 adults2011 per room. Excludes suites, 3-bedroom villas and is for travel between June 14, and September 24, 2011 will receive $300 off per reservation. applies to thefamily purchase the non-discounted a Offer vacation your willatcherish forever. Book 5/1–8/14/12 or other discounts apply. valid atitineraries Disney’s Artdeparture of Animation No group Regular Rate of thenot following and datesResort. ONLY: Quest for therates West; 6/15, 6/22, 6/29, 7/4, 7/13, 7/18, 7/20, 8/22; Rocky Trails & Mountie Tales: 6/18, 7/16, 7/23, 8/6, 9/3; Southwest Splendors: 7/5, 7/16, 7/19, 7/26,Book 7/30, 5/1–8/14/12 8/6, 9/24; Sprit of America: 7/8, 7/19, 8/9, 9/16; or6/25, other7/9, discounts apply. Taming the Last Frontier: 6/24, 7/3, 7/13, 8/10, 8/19. Regular Rates vary depending on departure date and time of booking and are subject to change.

attendees will enjoy all the fair has to offer, ©Disneyonly. Bookings must be made through Adventures by Disney Travel Services, Inc. You must advise the Concierge Agent of this Valid on new bookings Land packages are subject to availability. Not transferable or redeemable for cash in whole or in part. Not applicable toward including national acts performing in frontofferofat time of booking. ©Disney deposit amount. Cannot be sold or transferred for commercial use. Void where prohibited. Subject to conditions, restrictions and change without the free grandstands. Among the events notice. are Cannot be combined with any offers or promotions. Insert Agency Information Adventures by Disney Travel Services, Inc. CST# 2082519 As toHere Disney artwork/properties: ©Disney GS2011-5163 the RV rallies, Michiana Mennonite Relief Sale, Information HereAVAILABILITY. SERVICEInsert AND Agency BOOK EARLY FOR BEST and performances from Styx and Thompson CALL MENNO TRAVEL Insert Agency Information Here Square. For more info, visit 4hfair.org. 574-534-1521 1-800-635-0963 www.mennotrav.com

Thinking of

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Interest Rates are at an All Time Low!

Call Josh Hendricks for all your Real

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574-202-2000 | josh@creekstoneinvestments.com

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58 MI CHILD MAGAZINE | JULY 2012

Mathnasium

31-32

The Doctors

Will See You Now New Patients

Welcome

Lakeland Family Medicine, Niles Invites You to an Open House • Thursday, July 12 • 4:00 to 6:30 p.m. Get to know John Howard, MD, Rosa Johnson, DO, Doug Tacket, DO, Tracy Tacket, DO, and Ellen Tambunan, MD, before you schedule your appointment – meet them on July 12, tour their newly remodeled practice, enter drawings and enjoy light refreshments.

Lakeland Family Medicine, Niles 4 Longmeadow Village Drive Niles, MI 49120

(269) 684-6000

www.lakelandhealth.org/physicians

The little things are important to us.

When it comes to your newborn’s health and safety, the little things are probably pretty important to you, too. Which is why we offer a Level 2-B Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, along with certified neonatologists and experienced neonatal nurse practitioners right here in our Special Beginnings Maternity Center. This way, you can be sure that should a situation arise, we’ve got the right people in place, ready to help. Because when it comes to watching over your little one, no amount of caring is too big, or too small.

To schedule a personalized tour of the Special Beginnings Maternity Center, call 574-523-3444.

600 East Boulevard • Elkhart, IN 46514