FREE to Good Family Men
JUNE 2012
FIGHT CLUB
INTRUDER ALERT! ADVICE FOR KEEPING YOUR
WHERE MEN ARE LEARING TO
FIGHT FOR WHAT MATTERS
VOLUMIZE Your Chest
WITH THESE THREE SIMPLE MOVEMENTS
5 HEALTHY
RIB-STICKING MAN MEALS
FOR SUMMER
HOME AND VEHICLE SECURE
CSI MICHIANA
THE FICTIONALIZATION OF FORENSICS
LOST.
THOUGHTS ON FINDING YOUR WAY BACK TO THE MARRIAGE OF YOUR DREAMS FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
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LETTER FROM THE
publisher
Photography: Traditions Photography Makeup: CamellIa Cosmetics, Granger
Publisher & Editor-in-Chief: Betsy Tavernier Betsy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com
EXECUTIVE Editor: Kerri Hagens
F
Kerri@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com
Advertising Account Manager: Jessica Marietta Jessica@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com
FAMILY MAN
Some Quality Man Time
Advertising Account Manager: Brianna Armato Brianna@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com
Creative Director: Jena Bontrager
Jena@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com
GRAPHIC DESIGNER: Zuzanna Zmud
Zuzanna@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com
MEDICAL EDITOR: Dr. Jesse Hsieh Distribution Managers: Richard Cox – St. Joseph, Cass & Berrien Counties Wes Bontrager – Elkhart County Joe Dixon – St. Joseph County
Hey, Family Man … Thank you for taking the time to check out our special, annual edition of Family Man Magazine. You are a very important part of the family unit so we hope that you enjoy the selection of articles and information on the following pages that we designed specifically with you in mind, as a family man. We had great success with our men’s publication in 2011 and we raised the bar this year for 2012. This issue covers everything from great reads, to exercise and fitness, parenting, health, business, grilling, forensics, work/life balance and much more. If you like what you see here, please let us know as we would like to be able to provide this men’s magazine much more often for you in the very near future.
Have a wonderful Father’s Day with your family!
FAMILY Man Magazine is a division of Michiana Family Magazines, LLC established in 2006. All rights reserved. We would love to hear from you! Please submit press releases, event information and inquiries to: Media@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com Michiana Family Magazines 1233 E. University Drive Granger, IN 46530 PH: 574.387.5420 • FX: 574.217.4700 www.MichianaFamilyMagazine.com Permission from the publisher is required for any reproduction or reprint of this publication. Read FAMILY Man Magazine online! Go to www.MichianaFamilyMagazine.com and flip the pages, cover-to-cover the organic and green way! June 2012 Volume 2: Number 1 Thank you to Family Man cover dad, Dan Ianello, for sharing his great business and family balance cover story. Happy Father’s Day!
Betsy Tavernier Publisher & Editor-in-Chief
LOOK WHO’s TALKING
follow us on Twitter, and become our fan on Facebook. www.MichianaFamilyMagazine.com
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FAM FAM
FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
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The Man Cave 6 How to Throw a Winning Poker Night 7 Check These Out 8 Welcome to the Future: Cars to Love in 2013 Great Reads 6 The Theif: An Isaac Bell Adventure
Reviewed by Michael Zeiger
Men’s Health 10 Ask Dr. Irreverent
Got a Medical Question? He’s got an Answer
By Dr. Irrevernt, aka, Dr. Scott Eshowsky
12 E.D.ucation
A Course in Erectile Dysfunction
By Stephanie J. Salisbury
Y MAN 14 Volumize Your Chest
With These Three Simple Movements
Real Men Cook 16 Five Healthy, Rib-Sticking Man Meals for Summer!
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By Zach Lucchese
Table of Contents The FAMILY Man’s Castle 18 Intruder Alert!
Advice for Keeping Your Home and Vehicle Secure
By Rich Freeman
Mr. Mom 20 A FAMILY Man’s Perspective
Successful Outings with the Kids
By Doug King
The Sensitive Guy 22 Lost
Thoughts on Finding Your Way Back to the Marriage of Your Dreams
By Lucas Miles
24 Fight Club
Where Men are Learning to Fight for What Matters
By Meagan Church
Myth Busters 26 CSI Michiana
The Fictionalization of Forensics By Joseph Prahlow, M.D.
The Businessman
28 The FAMILY Man Executive Forum
Advice from Area Execs
30 The Balance Game
Finding What’s First
By Kristin Baker
FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
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T H E M A N C AV E
How to Throw a
Winning
P ker Night
“Money won is twice as sweet as money earned” ~ Paul Newman as Fast Eddie in “The Color of Money”
If you’re looking to host a poker night that isn’t a bust, look no further. We have some surefire ways that will make your poker night one for the books.
It’s Not Tea and Crumpets for Pete’s Sake
It’s a thin line; just because you’ve invited the boys over and have graciously taken on the role of “host” doesn’t mean it needs to be made into a big ordeal. That said, you’re the captain of this ship, and it’s your job to make sure your party doesn’t get lost at sea. So, here’s how you keep the balance when it comes to providing food and drink. Go ahead and ask the guys to BYOB, but let them know that you’ll supply some munchies, and if the group gets hungry later, everyone can chip in for pizza. The key is to keep it casual – this is poker night, not a ladies afternoon luncheon. Buy chips and dip, some M&M’s and other easily handled treats, and keep the pizza on speed dial. Also be aware that people will need a surface to keep their food and beer while they play. Have a few small tables placed strategically around the main poker area. Also, don’t forget to make room in the fridge or have a couple of coolers packed with ice for everyone’s drinks.
Power Off
Don’t get us wrong. We’re big advocates of the boob tube, but when it comes time to sit down and play, it’s better to leave the TV off, at least during the beginning of the game to help set the tone. Opt for some tunage instead. You can always turn on the TV later if your guests want something mindless to do in between hands or when the game is starting to wind down.
Invest in a Table
Sure, you can always use the dining room table, but if you plan to make poker night with the boys a semiregular event, it might be a good idea to buy a poker table. You can find some great buys online.
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Some Tips: Don’t be Caught with Your Pants Down
If you’ve taken it upon yourself to throw a poker night, be sure you have the supplies needed to see it through. Always have extra poker chips on hand in multiple colors, so you can handle all denominations. And it’s always a good idea to have two decks of cards so that while one deck is being dealt, the other can get shuffled.
It’s All About The Numbers
When it comes to setting a buy-in, the goal is to keep things interesting without scaring your guests into thinking that little Bobby’s college fund is up for grabs. Set the buy-in between $20 and $50. Another important figure has to do with the number of guest you’ve invited to play. Too few and the game will lag – too many and it can just become a mess. We think between 5 to 7 people is the sweet spot to keep things interesting.
Checklist: Two decks of cards At least one medium-sized set of multi- colored chips Space for drinks and food while playing Munchies Room in the fridge for beer or pack coolers with ice Cash Poker table
• Don’t fall in love with pocket pairs. They have the opportunity to make you a lot of money; they also have the opportunity to lose you all your money. Watch the flop. A lot of people will play any hand with a few face cards in it. If your low pocket pair is facing a flop where there’s any number of face cards, then you’re setting yourself up to get a major beat down. • It’s fun to chase outside chances and crazy odds – and once in a while, it even pays off! But in the long run, it’s much more fun to come out ahead at the end of the night. Play smart and know your odds. • Don’t get caught up trying to spot your opponents’ tells. If you can easily spot one, super! But your real focus should be on playing tight, technical poker. Your chances of winning that way are much better than trying to figure out whether or not that thing your opponent does with his hand is a tell. It takes a lot of practice to get good at reading people in this way, so don’t base your entire game strategy on it just yet. Picking up tells should be something you hone and build on over time – not something to be mastered before, or during, next Saturday’s game. • Your position at the table is almost as important as your cards and determines how aggressive you can be. It’s best to act last whenever possible. By going last, you get to see how other people bet before you make your move.
“Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn’t play poker.” ~ Amarillo Slim
T H E M A N C AV E
Check
These Out
Here’s some stuff we’re pretty much enamored with at the moment. We think they’re worth you taking a look at as well…
HBO’s Game of Thrones
Cardmunch
Why it’s Worth a Look: You don’t have to be a die-hard fantasy geek to get invested in this series. While a fantasy, the series is gritty and heavy on the political intrigue. But keep the kids out of the room. This is for adults only. Retail Price: $59.99
Why it’s Worth a Look: Take a picture of a business card and this app will convert it into a phone contact. The card you snap a photo of is actually transcribed by a real person, not a computer, and there are multiple eyeballs on it to ensure accuracy. The transcriber will even crop the company logo. Price: Free
This HBO breakout hit is based on a series of fantasy books by George R.R. Martin. Currently in its second season, you can catch up by buying the first season on DVD.
This powerful app from LinkedIn will free you from the shackles of business card organizer and holders.
Book Review
Brunswick Poker Table
While you might be enjoying the great weather now, fall and winter will be here before you know it! That’s why we love the idea of investing in a poker table for the months ahead, like this gem from Brunswick. Why it’s are Worth a Look: This 54” Brunswick’s Centennial poker table not only looks amazing, it has great features, like a leather playing surface that’s spill resistant as well as cup and chip holders. And it’s wife approved, too. The tabletop flips into a beautiful dining surface, and there’s a storage area underneath to hold all your gaming pieces. This table is available for purchase through The Great Escape in Mishawaka. Price: $1,999
The Thief: An Isaac Bell Adventure Reviewed by Michael Zeiger Reference Librarian Harris Branch of the Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Public Library
By Clive Cussler and Justin Scott
O
bserving the centenary of the Titanic’s tragic sinking in April, James Cameron’s enduring blockbuster and cinematic masterpiece was recently re-released theatrically in 3-D. Much like filmmaker Cameron, New York Times bestselling author Clive Cussler has made an incredibly successful career out of exploring the history and mysteries of both the seas and the storied vessels that have traveled them. Continuing this tradition, “The Thief,” the fifth title to chronicle the cases of Van Dorn Detective Agency chief investigator Isaac Bell, sets its opening action upon the deck of the Cunard Line superliner RMS Mauretania, where the promise of a momentous occasion in Bell’s life is quickly disturbed by a mysterious attack. Wasting no time, Cussler, along with co-writer Scott, thrust readers directly into the action as Isaac Bell foils the abduction of two scientists at sea. Set in the tense days preceding the First World War, “The Thief ” follows Bell as he attempts to thwart a German plot to steal a revolutionary device that could determine the victor of the coming conflict. Indeed, the authors keep the action taut, the atmosphere mysterious, and the stakes sky-high
as events unfold at a breakneck pace. A joyous wedding, a shocking death, and an alarming fire are served up within the first few chapters as mere appetizers to the exciting main course of “The Thief’s” action and intrigue as Bell and company travel from coast-to-coast trying to stay ahead of “The Akrobat,” one of Kaiser Wilhelm II’s most ruthless operatives. Readers of “The Spy” (2010), the third Isaac Bell novel, will welcome the authors’ decision to further progress their believable treatment of covert actions leading up to the Great War. Similarly, loyal fans of the series will appreciate “The Thief’s” significant attention to progressing Bell’s personal life and bringing change to the Van Dorn Detective Agency’s roster. With its detailed descriptions and veritable host of notable figures, including inventor Thomas Edison and filmmaker D.W. Griffith, enthusiasts of historical and adventure fiction alike will find much to enjoy in this latest thriller from Clive Cussler.
FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
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T H E M A N C AV E
Welcome to the Future
While we might be impatiently waiting for the flying cars Hollywood led us to believe we’d be enjoying by now, 2013 promises to satiate our appetite for high-tech gadgetries with a series of cool vehicles making their way into the market. Here are some of our favorites we can’t wait to take to the road – since apparently we are still some ways off from taking them to the sky…
Cars to Love in 2013
Ford Escape
For a long while, the Ford Escape has dominated the family SUV market. And for 2013, they’ve been working hard to live up to their well-earned reputation. The revamped model is boasting better fuel economy and 11 new exclusive features. Among them is the Escape’s hands-free technology, which includes liftgate with motion sensing technology, a new Ford Intelligent 4WD System for better traction when off-road, and an upgraded MyFord Touch system for more ease when connecting digital devices. Beyond all the bells and whistles, we dig the slick new design! The 2013 Escape is proving that it’s once again a family SUV not to be ignored. MSRP: $22,470
Chevy Malibu Eco
This mid-sized family sedan’s all-new sportier design doesn’t take away from the spacious interior, useful storage space or its ecofriendliness. The Malibu employs eAssist technology, delivering an estimated fuel economy of 25 mpg in the city/37 mpg on the highway – which just might make it the most fuel-efficient Malibu to date. We also like the lane departure/forward collision warning system and rearview camera system. And the Chevy MyLink in-car infotainment system incorporates some of our favorite things, like Pandora and Stitcher SmartRadio. The Malibu’s new radio face also moves up and down to reveal a hidden storage space – how we do love more places to store our stuff!
Tesla Model S
This much-anticipated sedan proves that electric doesn’t have to be lame. A sleek exterior, cutting-edge technology and family-friendly features like the sedan’s eight airbags make this a fully electric car a family man can get behind and not feel dumb about. The Model S doesn’t use a drop of gasoline and plugs into 240-volt outlets, standard 120-volt wall outlets and public stations. Batteries come in 40 kWh, 60 kWh and 85 kWh options. The 85 kWh battery’s estimated range is 300 miles at 55 mph. It can also go zero to 60 in 5.6 seconds and has a top speed of 125 mph. The car’s electric powertrain is three times more efficient than a gas burning engine. And it’s thoughtful design, low center of gravity, and almost 50/50 weight distribution means this sedan responds more like a sports car. And did we forget to mention…no gas? Starting: $49,900 (After US Federal Tax Credit)
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MSRP: $25,235
Mazda CX-5
As a compact crossover SUV getting 35 mpg/hwy and starting at a very competitive base price, the Mazda CX-5 has understandably been getting a lot of attention. Mazda designed the CX-5 from the ground up, reengineering everything to work together for greater efficiency. That’s why Mazda calls its CX-5 “the crossover without compromise,” offering consumers fun drivability and versatility while still getting great highway mpg thanks to their Skyactiv Technology. According to Mazda, the CX-5 beats out other American SUVs, even hybrids, when it comes to highway mpg. The CX-5 has other great features as well, like the 103 cubic feet of passenger volume, the Bluetooth hands-free system, standard 5.8 inch touch screen – which also acts as the display for the rearview camera – and the Bose surround sound system that automatically adjusts volume levels to accommodate for noise. With tons of features, loads of space and great gas mileage, the Mazda is a super buy.
Dodge Dart
It’s a compact sedan with a big punch. This brand new model from Dodge not only looks great and has some great features and options – it’s also competitively priced: MSRP for the base model is $15,995. It’s offered in three fuel-efficient powertrains, has 10 standard airbags, reactive front head restraints, and the option for other safety features like Blind Spot Monitoring and Rear Cross Path Detection. Also available on the SXT and Rallye and standard on the Limited and R/T models is a 8.4 inch touchscreen that will help you do everything from playing your music, finding sports and movie listings to checking the weather. With great safety and technology features and options, the Dodge Dart seems like a new generation of reasonably priced compact cars that work to deliver a luxury ride. MSRP: $15,995
MSRP: $20,695
Porsche Boxster S
Lighter, faster, and dare we say, sexier? This might not be the best family car, but doesn’t dad deserve his own ride? The brand new Boxster design includes an increase in both the length and width of the wheelbase, allowing for more room in the interior. It’s also lighter than its predecessors, and new sound-deadening material has cut down a bit on noise levels. Ultimately, we hear this car is as fun to drive as it is to longingly stare at. And we hear it’s a comfortable ride, too, meaning you can take it on longer highway trips and not kill your back in the process. If you’re looking to turn heads, this is the car to do it. Here are a few other stats: • 315 hp at 6,700 rpm • 0-60 mph: 4.8 seconds • Top Track Speed: 173 mph MSRP: $ 60,900.00
Mercedes-Benz GLK
It might be a compact luxury SUV with a sportier design, but don’t worry – it still shouts “Benz,” which is what you want if you’re driving one. The GLK includes a number of cutting-edge assistance and efficiency systems such as the ECO stop/start function, the BlueTEC diesel emission control system, a six speaker sound system, Bluetooth interface and a central controller with 5.8 color display, all standard with impressive upgrades available; after all, it is a Benz. The interior has some flair as well, like the newly redesigned dashboard in burl walnut and the leather multifunction steering wheel with shift paddles. All in all, we just love the look and feel of the 2013 GLK. Starting: $35,880
Cadillac XTS
Cadillac is making waves and giving other luxury family sedans a run for their money with the XTS. It’s hard to deny just how good this new model looks. But beyond the glitz and glam, the new XTS harbors top-notch technology, like the CUE driver interface which uses capacitive touch (think about the technology used in fancy tablets and smartphones). Chances are that CUE’s capabilities will make you feel like you’re at the helm of the Enterprise instead of your family sedan. The XTS also comes standard with Magnetic Ride Control, which Cadillac touts as “the world’s fastest-reacting suspension.” And we like the Safety Alert Seat which vibrates to alert the driver to obstacles or dangers, giving the driver more time to make a course correction. It’s just one of the many high-tech safety features the XTS offers. For all these reasons, when it comes to checking out the new XTS, we enthusiastically say – in a Picardian British accent – “Make it so!” Estimated MSRP: $44,995 *Pricing does not necessarily reflect destination charges, taxes and other fees. MSRP and starting prices are for base models and do not represent pricing for available options. Pricing is subject to change. Please check with dealers for official prices and estimates.
FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
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men ’ s health
Ask
Dr. Irreverent Got a Medical Question? He’s got an Answer.
Answers provided By DR. IRREVERENT, AKA, DR. SCOTT ESHOWSKY
Q: I turned 53 last month, and recently I’ve had to get up a few times in the middle of the night to pee. What’s the deal with that? “Sleepless in South Bend” South Bend Sleepless, Nighttime trips to the bathroom can become increasingly common for men as we age. The good news is that it usually doesn’t indicate any serious problems. Most commonly, it is a symptom of an enlarging prostate. In almost all men, the prostate tends to slowly get bigger in the middle-age years (along with rapidly receding hairlines!). What happens is this – when you go to the bathroom, urine from your bladder travels through a tube called the urethra. Along its path, the urethra travels through the prostate gland. As the prostate enlarges, it can squeeze the urethra and make it more difficult for urine to pass through freely. This can result in trouble starting the stream, a weaker stream and more frequent trips to the bathroom. There are some medications available to reduce the symptoms, but sometimes surgery may be required to open things up a bit. The tendency over time is for this to slowly get worse. Talk to your doctor if you’re having these symptoms to make sure there isn’t something else going on with your urinary tract.
Q: My wife and I have been trying to have a kid for a while now, but still nothing. I’m starting to wonder if it has something to do with my swimmers, but I dread the idea of going to the doctor’s office to get tested. Is it a big deal to do? What’s the likelihood that it’s me and not her? “Swimming Upstream” Mishawaka
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Swimming Upstream, Not a big deal at all. It can take some couples up to six to 12 months to get pregnant. But if you’ve been giving it an honest, good “old college try” for longer than that, it probably is worth talking to your doctor. There could be a variety of issues with either one of you – one of which has to do with your “swimmers.” It’s understandable to feel some apprehension about getting your “manhood” checked out, but that’s what docs are for, right? Even though this stuff is commonplace for docs to deal with, it’s probably the first time for you. But don’t worry; your doc and his or her staff will remain professional and keep your privacy a priority. The test itself is not a big deal at all – the trick is collecting the sample and getting it to the lab while it’s still warm (usually within 30 minutes). There are a few other instructions regarding collecting the sample, so talk with your doctor so you don’t have to repeat the process.
Q:
I’ve been smoking for years, want to quit, but every time I try, I end up caving a few weeks or even months later. What are the best treatments to kick the habit for good? “The Human Chimney” Mishawaka
Human Chimney, Over the years I’ve been practicing medicine, I’ve developed a deep respect for the strength of the nicotine addiction. However, I’m happy to report, I’ve seen lots of men and women beat this nasty habit for good. Anyone can conquer nicotine. The most important thing has nothing to do with medications but has everything to do with your level of motivation. There are a variety of medications on the market to help you quit, but all the medicine in the world won’t help if you’re not ready mentally. A few quick tips that may help you in your quest for fresher breath: 1. Set a quit date. Choose a date wisely, one that will set you up for success (don’t choose a day or week that you already know will be stressful). 2. Plan to quit cold-turkey – on your quit date. Studies show there is better success with this method than with weaning down your smoking. You can wean until your quit date, but that is the day you are no longer a smoker – period! 3. If you think you’ll have trouble on your own, make an appointment with your doctor to talk about medication options. This can really help make the process a bit more tolerable, for you and your family! Good luck!
Q: I’m confused about vitamins. I heard recently that vitamins aren’t good for you? How on earth could this be right? “Adios Vitamins?” Elkhart Adios, This is a really common question, so I’m glad you asked. For most people, taking extra vitamins is completely unnecessary and hasn’t been shown convincingly to lead to any health benefits. And it’s true – there are actually some research studies that have shown that too much of certain vitamins can be bad for you. While there is likely no harm in taking a once daily multivitamin, there are some differences between the various vitamins on the market. It’s always a good idea to talk to the pharmacist or your doctor before choosing which one to buy (a 50-year-old man shouldn’t take a vitamin that’s designed for a menstruating 20-year-old female). The best option, however, is to eat a healthy diet with plenty of fruits and veggies. If Mother Nature wanted us to take pills for vitamins, they’d grow on trees. The produce section of your local supermarket is probably the best source of vitamins around! Sometimes your doctor will prescribe vitamins for medical conditions, and it’s important to take them as prescribed. It’s also key that you’re monitored by your doctor if taking prescription-dose vitamins.
Q: My wife and I have three kids, and we both agree that this is a good number. She wants to get off the pill and mentioned that I could get a vasectomy. How exactly does a vasectomy work? Will I notice a difference once it’s done? “Vasectomy Worries” South Bend Worries, Speaking from experience, a vasectomy is an excellent method of long-term birth control. But it’s important to be really sure you don’t ever want to have any more kids – no matter what. It’s considered a permanent procedure. Some people try to have it reversed years later, but it’s expensive and doesn’t always work.
The vasectomy should have absolutely no effect on your sexual desire or function, except some men may notice a slight decrease in the volume of ejaculate. It’s also very important to remember – you are not sterile immediately after the procedure. You still need to “clean the pipes,” which usually takes 15 to 20 ejaculations over a few months. And it’s important to give a couple of samples to get checked to make sure you are “shooting blanks” before formally stopping birth control (i.e. “pulling the goalie”). You certainly don’t want any little surprises!
Dr. Scott Eshowsky serves as the medical director of Memorial’s Main Street Medical Group. He received his medical degree from Indiana University School of Medicine and completed his residency in family practice at Ball Memorial Hospital in Muncie. He is board-certified in family practice.
Now Available at
Heritage Square Granger | 574.271.1000
The procedure usually only takes about 30 minutes, but then plan on renting some movies and laying low for a few days. After your initial recovery period, you can ease back into business as usual, including sexual activity.
FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
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men ’ s health
E.D.ucation A Course in Erectile Dysfunction
By stephanie j. salisbury
It happens at least twice a week. I’m sitting on the sofa watching television with my husband and a commercial comes on for an erectile dysfunction medication. It shows these older men, strong and outdoorsy, with smiling women who are happy to be with them. It offers an array of platitudes to reassure everyone of their manhood. Then, you get the rest of the commercial where the fast-talking-background-disclaimer-man tells you the plethora of things that could possibly go wrong if you take this drug. My favorite says something like, “If an erection persists for longer than four hours, please call a doctor or go to the emergency room.” This is when I subtly stare at my husband and make the same comment, every time: “If that ever happened to you, I would not call the doctor. I would not take you to the ER. And I would not let you leave the bedroom.” When it comes to bedroom issues for guys, there are a few things to take into consideration. Jeffrey Eck, M.D., of Family Practice Associates in Elkhart, has a question he always asks. “A patient once told me, ‘I can go to the parade, but I can’t salute.’ I’ve asked other patients if that’s the problem, or if they just don’t care.” There is a difference between erectile dysfunction (ED) and simply a lack of libido. “Age sometimes has an effect,” says Dr. Eck. “It can start in the 40s or later, and testosterone levels go down.” First, testosterone levels are checked to see if that is the issue. “If the testosterone is there, I’m not going to
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replace it. I’m going to try another angle,” explains Dr. Eck. Other tests are done such as checking the blood flow to the penis, sensory testing to measure nerve impulses, and blood tests to check all hormone levels. If testosterone is replaced, however, you’ll need to be on the lookout. “There is a small chance that testosterone replacement can stimulate prostate cancer,” Dr. Eck mentions, “so we have you come in for a checkup of your levels after three or four months.” Sometimes the problem with performance can be psychological, too. Not only can past negative experiences play a role, so can depression, anxiety, stress, or self-consciousness. “Sometimes, if you’re in the middle of something and your partner mentions something off topic, your mind goes somewhere else,” Dr. Eck says. “Some guys, if it’s a new mate, will have a problem, or if there is an age difference, and the woman is more active than the man at that age.” When it comes to drugs like Viagra, they can be used for such occasions. Dr. Eck notes, “If he is self-conscious, or trying too hard, sometimes Viagra can be just a placebo. There’s nothing in those drugs he can get hooked on. He can take it for awhile, feel better about himself, then he doesn’t need it anymore.” Be careful of your intake of drugs and alcohol if you’re having issues in the bedroom. “Cigarettes are a likely cause of vascular problems, as are high blood pressure and high cholesterol,” says Dr. Eck. Alcohol is a well-known inhibitor of sexual performance, at least in an overabundance. (From personal experience, it can also lead to stupid, stupid, stupid choices. So, you know, don’t drink to excess and make boom-boom.) And The Best News of All… Something to take into consideration is that many of these initial problems can be pinpointed and solved, whether by medications like Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra, or communication with your partner, or therapy to deal with past sexual trauma or self-consciousness. “I’ve been doing this for twenty years,” Dr. Eck tells us. “There’s no reason why a guy can’t have a normal sex life because we’ve got a lot of stuff out there that really helps and makes a big difference. If a doctor looks into it and figures out what’s going on, there’s no reason a guy can’t perform naturally.”
FORLY I FAMUN F
College Football FRIDAY JULY 20 Hall of Fame �
Join Deion Sanders, Eddie George, Coach Lloyd Carr and others at the 2012 Enshrinement Festival in Downtown South Bend. EVENTS INCLUDE: �
� �
Ribs Cook-Off & Downtown Block Party Cornhole Tournament Hall of Famer Blazer Presentation
� � �
Live Music Fan Fun Zone Fireworks Spectacular
Hall o Museumf Fame Special HoursExhibits &m 9 a.m. - ore 11 p.m.
Dr. Eck still has erectile aids like pumps in his office to use when medications don’t make a difference and swears by them as the invention that revolutionized the problem of ED. If you do your research, find the right doctor, and work through whatever the problem might be, chances are you’ll not only be at the parade – you’ll be saluting in no time.
Stephanie J. Salisbury, University of Michigan graduate, has published two books and maintains a well-followed inspirational blog. She and her husband sing, act, direct and work together.
Complete details online: www.enshrinementfestival.org
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5/23/12 4:29 PM
men ’ s health
Volumize Your Chest
With These Three Simple Movements
Meet Your Trainer
As Training and Development Manager at Fit Stop, Mark Samson lives, works and breathes fitness. Mark has 20 years of training experience, which includes strength training, power lifting, bodybuilding, weight-loss management and sports training. He is certified through the American Council on Exercise and is also pursuing a career in physical therapy. Mark is also a competitor and tries to compete in bodybuilding shows at least once a year. “I’ve always been a very competitive person when it comes to sports. But with bodybuilding, it’s more so a competition with myself. I’m always trying to better myself by improving my symmetry and adding lean muscle.”
Currently, Mark is training for the Indiana State bodybuilding show and will be assessing his condition soon to see if he’s ready to compete. He’s in the heavy weight class and would compete in the masters division. Outside of the gym, Mark is a devoted dad to his 9-year-old son, Nathan, who motivates him to excel as a father: “I think watching my son grow and learn has been amazing for me. He surprises me all the time with things he has learned. Just knowing he looks up to me and depends on me to always be there motivates me to be the best dad I can be.”
The Exercises
The three exercises shown here are meant to work the entire chest area. Mark believes that by combining these three movements, it will give the most mass gains, with perhaps a greater focus on the upper chest. When a man has a full upper chest, it makes the entire chest look much larger. The first of the three exercises is the Smith Machine incline bench press, which works the upper chest. The second exercise is a flat bench dumbbell press, which works the middle chest (Pectoralis Major). This muscle group makes up the majority of the chest. Finally, the last exercise is the chest fly, which works the entire chest, and according to Mark, recent studies are showing that this movement might be one of the best mass gainers for the chest. While the chest isn’t necessarily a hard muscle to work, Mark says that most men don’t understand that they need to incorporate the negative portion of the exercise to get the full benefit. When you perform these three movements, be aware that the push is the positive movement and slowly resisting on the way down works the negative movement. By doing this, the muscle will fatigue much faster. When doing these exercises, start out with two warm up sets, light weight. For the three working sets, adjust the weights so that you fail at eight to 10 reps.
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1.
Mark’s Training Schedule Mark says: When I train, I try and concentrate on adding more lean muscle to my physic. I train five days a week and train one or two muscle groups per day. I break up my legs into two separate days. My workout week looks like this: Monday: Biceps/triceps Tuesday: Back Wednesday: Hamstrings Thursday: Chest/shoulders Friday: Rest day Saturday: Quads Sunday: Rest day
2.
3.
FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
15
REAL MEN COOK
Five Healthy, Rib-Sticking MAN Meals for Summer! By ZACH LUCCHESE
Now that the weather has gotten a little warmer and you’ve put away those baggy winter pants and shirts, you may have found that your summer clothes just don’t fit the way they used to. Most of us dive into extreme diets to get back to our pre-winter weight, which means that we resign ourselves to eat tiny portions with little flavor. I think it’s time to change all that. I’ve put together five healthy, rib-sticking man meals that will help you lose weight without losing flavor, and most importantly, they’re meals that will fill you up!
Grilled Ahi Tuna with Romesco Sauce
Serves 4 This is a great recipe for all of those grill-masters out there. By using your grill to cook some ingredients in the sauce, you’ll introduce an incredible smoky flavor that will enhance a nice piece of Ahi tuna steak. You can also do this recipe with mahi mahi, halibut, swordfish, chicken or pork chops. (4) 1 pound Ahi tuna steaks 1 jalapeno 2 tomatoes 2 red bell peppers 1/8 cup almonds 1/8 pine nuts 2 large basil leaves Sprig of parsley Sprig of cilantro Clove garlic 1 lemon halved 1 lime halved 2 teaspoon ground cumin divided 2 teaspoon ground coriander divided 1/8 cup + 1/8 cup extra virgin olive oil Salt and pepper to taste
*Image not of recipe showcased
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1. Season tuna steaks with half an 1/8 of olive oil, salt, pepper, cumin and coriander. 2. Toss peppers, tomatoes, jalapeno, lemon and lime in other half of the 1/8th of olive oil, salt, and pepper. 3. Grill peppers, tomatoes, jalapeno, lemon and lime until they start to char. Remove stems and seeds from the peppers and the stem from the tomatoes and add to blender. Squeeze juice from lemons and limes into blender. 4. Add pine nuts, almonds, basil, parsley, cilantro, garlic, cumin, coriander, salt, pepper and 1/8 cup of olive oil to blender. 5. Puree till smooth. 6. Grill Ahi tuna on hot grill 3-4 minutes per side for nice rare steak. 7. Serve tuna and sauce over couscous, brown rice or grilled vegetables.
Sea Scallops with Lemon-Rosemary Bean Salad
Italian Pork Chop with Garlic Herb Brown Rice
12 (or 2 per person) dry-packed large sea scallops U-13 count 1/4 cup + 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil 2 lemons 2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary 1/2 yellow onion diced 2 cloves garlic minced 1 red bell pepper diced 1/4 tablespoon Parmesan 4 1/4 canned white beans, drained and rinsed 2 pinches of hot pepper flake Salt and Pepper to taste
(4) 12 ounce pork chops 18 ounces pork or chicken stock 3 lemons 1/8 cup dry white wine 1/8 cup red wine vinegar 1 1/2 cup sliced baby Portobello mushrooms Jar of mild cherry peppers in vinegar Pinch of chili flake 1 pound brown rice 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil 4 cloves garlic minced 1/8 cup Parmesan 1/8 cup Feta 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley Salt and pepper to taste
Serves 6 This is a perfect dish to show off your cooking skills at a dinner party! It’s a simple recipe that you’d see on most restaurant menus for upwards of $30 or $40. And guess what? It’s a protein-rich, healthy meal that men and women will both enjoy.
1. Season scallops with 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil, one pinch of chili flake, salt and pepper. Heat 1/8 cup of olive oil. Add scallops to pan and sear. The pan should sizzle when scallops are added. Cook for 3-4 minutes and flip. Cook for 4 more minutes and remove from pan to rest. 2. In separate sauté pan, heat olive oil and add onion, garlic and diced bell pepper. Sauté for 5-6 minutes and add white beans, a pinch of chili flake, Parmesan, juice from two lemons, rosemary, salt and pepper. Toss and stir for 2 minutes over moderate heat. 3. Plate beans and place scallops on top. Dress place with lemon zest, a drizzle of olive oil and a sprig of rosemary.
Whole Wheat Fettuccine and Chicken Carbonara
Serves 6 This is a great substitute for those of you who love chicken Alfredo. Growing up, there was nothing more satisfying than a big bowl of creamy fettuccine Alfredo with lots of cream and cheese. By substituting heavy cream with fresh eggs in this recipe, you still get that creamy texture but without all the grams of fat and calories, and you’re adding lots of protein. 1 pound whole wheat fettuccine (I prefer DeCecco) 6 large fresh eggs Lean bacon or turkey bacon, diced 1 cup diced Portobello mushroom 1/4 cup sweet peas (3) 6 ounce grilled chicken breasts 1 clove chopped garlic 1/2 cup Parmesan 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil Salt and Pepper to taste 1. Bring 8 cups of water to boil. Add enough salt that your water should taste like saltwater. When water begins to boil, add pasta, stirring occasionally. Cook for 8-9 minutes or al dente. Strain and reserve 1/2 cup of pasta water. 2. Crack eggs into mixing bowl. Add sweet peas, grilled chicken and Parmesan. 3. Sauté bacon, mushrooms and garlic in extra-virgin olive oil for 5 minutes. Turn pan down to low and add pasta, reserved pasta water, egg mixture and salt and pepper. Cook and stir for about 2 minutes. 4. Serve with Parmesan or Asiago on top. You can add other vegetables into this dish as well like sun dried tomatoes, roasted red peppers, or zucchini. Zach Lucchese has been executive chef at Lucchese’s Italian Restaurant for the last five years. After attending AI Chicago and honing his skills at one of the top county clubs in Chicago, he returned to Elkhart to oversee Lucchese’s kitchen. Zach resides in Elkhart with his wife Amy and their two daughters, Bella and Zoie.
Serves 4 Pork chops are a great source of protein, and a 12 ounce pork chop has only about 425 calories in it. That means you can eat a lot more than the recommended 4 ounce serving (who only eats 4 ounces of pork chops?) and still only have 425 calories! The garlic herb brown rice gives you a satisfying, healthy side as well.
1. Season pork chops with salt and pepper. Heat large skillet with olive oil. Sear pork chops on high on one side until golden brown. Flip and sear for 3 minutes. 2. Add mushrooms, chili flake and salt and pepper. Sauté for 3 minutes. 3. Deglaze pan with wine. Add stock, vinegar, juice of three lemons, 12 cherry peppers and about 3 tablespoons of the cherry pepper vinegar. Cover and reduce on medium for 12-14 minutes. 4. In pot, boil 4 cups of salted water. Add brown rice and cook until al dente. Strain. 5. Return to pan and add olive oil, garlic, Parmesan, feta, parsley, salt and pepper and cook for 2 minutes. 6. Plate brown rice and place chop on top. Reduce sauce down until thicker. Drizzle over chop. You can also add mushrooms, peppers or asparagus to yours as well.
Grilled Bison Rib Eye with Roasted Sweet Potatoes
Serves 1 We live in the “steak and potatoes” Midwest. This recipe is a great alternative to that grilled steak and baked potato that we all love. Compared to beef, bison has about 25% less calories and about 55% less grams of fat. Sweet potatoes are also high in vitamin C, B6, fiber, copper, potassium, and feature many antioxidants. 9 ounce center cut bison rib eye 1 prig Rosemary 1 tablespoon chopped garlic 1/2 sweet potato (peeled) 2 tablespoons Parmesan 1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary 1 tablespoon chopped parsley 3 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil 3-4 large stalks of asparagus Salt and pepper to taste 1. To season the rib eye, pull the leaves off of the rosemary sprig and rub onto steak with garlic, salt, pepper, and 1 tablespoon olive oil. 2. Dice the sweet potato into large chunks and toss with 1 tablespoon olive oil, Parmesan, chopped rosemary, and parsley. Place in 425 degree oven for 25-30 minutes. Potatoes should be tender when done. 3. Toss asparagus with 1 tablespoon olive oil, salt and pepper. 4. Grill rib eye on hot grill. Steak should sizzle when you put in on. Grill for 3 minutes then turn 90 degrees. Grill for three more minutes and flip, 3 more minutes and turn, then 3 more minutes. Pull your steak off the grill and rest for 5 minutes. 5. Grill asparagus until tender, about four to five minutes. 6. Serve rib eye on plate with side of asparagus and sweet potatoes. FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
17
T H E FA M I LY M A N ’ S C A S T L E
Intruder
Alert!
Advice for Keeping Your Home and Vehicle Secure By rich freeman
In the thousands of home invasions and burglaries that have been reported in the area, a good portion of them could have been avoided. Let’s face it. When a home is broken into, police involvement usually occurs several hours or even days later when the homeowner returns to find their property has been stolen. Here are a few things you can do to avoid having your home or vehicle broken into:
Close the Door of Opportunity
Don’t leave the window (or door) of opportunity wide open. You’d be amazed by the number of people who feel that they live in a “safe” area and, therefore, make it a common practice to leave their homes and vehicles unlocked. Thieves are looking for a quick and easy grab. Breaking windows will only draw unwanted attention. A lot of times, thieves just walk through a parking lot or street and check car door handles to see which ones were left unlocked. The same goes for homes. Make your house a “hard target” by implementing some of the following security measures: If your house has locks on the doors, use them. This will cause the thief to come up with another method
18 JUNE 2012 | FAM ILY M AN
for gaining entry, which is usually by force. Anytime forcible entry is used, the thief is more likely to leave evidence behind such as fingerprints, shoe prints, tool marks and even blood from broken glass. Not to mention that the noise alone will draw the attention of possible witnesses. Install motion lights. Motion lights are cheap and provide a great deterrent for thieves. While lurking in the shadows, the last thing a thief wants is a bright light to illuminate the scene and draw unwanted attention. This helps turn your neighbors into great witnesses by enabling them to give a description of the suspect as well as a time frame of when the incident occurred.
Install video cameras. In an event like a burglary where police have to try to find the suspect, any information is better than no information at all. Contrary to popular belief, investigations do not take place like they do on CSI. Video footage can provide invaluable information about the suspect and possibly vehicle information that can help us find that “needle in the haystack.” Alarm systems. I’m not going to endorse any particular system. There is an entire market out there for alarm systems that offer a wide variety of security in accordance with pricing packages. However, something that needs to be understood is that an alarm system is exactly that – it alerts authorities
to an unauthorized entry. Once the alarm is tripped and the correct code has not been entered within a set amount time, the alarm company is notified. The alarm company then tries to call the residence and attempts to get a verbal password from someone at the residence. If the proper password isn’t given, then the police are called. Once the police are called, the officer then has to drive to the residence. Just keep in mind that all of this can take several minutes by which time the suspects can have everything they want packed into their vehicle and disappear prior to police arrival. If an alarm system is something you’re ready to invest in, I suggest one that encompasses all of the elements that have been listed already. Find one with motion lights, video and a loud siren.
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Good criminals will usually conduct some kind of reconnaissance prior to committing the act to increase their chances of not getting caught. If you equip your home with some of the things mentioned, then hopefully the criminal will move on and find a “softer” target. The only time a criminal may take the chance and ignore the security measures is if they feel the payoff is worth the risk. For example, if the criminal walks by a vehicle and notices a GPS mounted on the windshield or a bag in plain view that can be perceived as a purse or a computer case, they may ignore the fact the door is locked and the blinking LED light from the alarm system.
Take Some Notes Record the serial numbers to valuable items such as TVs, laptops, game consoles, lawn equipment and firearms. Keep these numbers in a safe place hidden in your home or even a safe-deposit box at the bank. Should these items be successfully stolen, the police can enter the serial numbers into a nationwide database where it can be searched by any law enforcement agency. For example, if your property shows up at a pawnshop, the person has to provide a picture ID in order to receive money for the items. The pawnshop then checks the number with the police department prior to placing it on the shelf for sale. If the items are stolen, then the police now have a possible suspect to interview. Another example would be if the handgun that was stolen from your home in Indiana ends up in an impounded vehicle in California. When the officer enters the serial number, it will alert them that the handgun was reported “stolen.” I hope the information provided in this article will help you turn your home and vehicle into a “hard target” and discourage criminals from stealing your property. If your property ends up being stolen, you now know what to do to help police recover your property as well as help provide suspect information to bring the criminal to justice.
Make sure you put those types of items in a locked trunk or at least out of sight. This principle is the same for houses. Shut your blinds at night so criminals can’t see you watching movies on your 55 inch flat screen TV. They may also see the pile of Christmas presents under the tree, which would make it easy to smash and grab your child’s new videogame console.
Thinking of
Rich Freeman joined the Marine Corps after high school and served as an MP on the Special Reaction Team. Rich is currently a Mishawaka Police Officer where he serves on the Honor Guard and is a Close Quarter Combat Instructor.
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574-202-2000 | josh@creekstoneinvestments.com FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
19
MR. MOM
a FAMILY Man’s
Perspective Successful Outings with the Kids By doug king
Staying locked up in the house sounds awfully tempting sometimes. It contains a controlled set of variables that usually work in the parent’s favor. Food is available, it is generally clean and there are plenty of toys and games to keep everyone occupied. Naptime is consistent, which aids in maintaining an overall positive mood for the little ones. And while the kids are playing or napping, you can even get some productive things done, too – not that it’s fun to do laundry, clean or cook. But at least it gets done, and your wife doesn’t think you sat around and watched ESPN all day. But even too much of a good thing can get old, and there are times when we must venture out from the safety and predictability of our homes with the kids in tow – though it doesn’t have to be a minor catastrophe in the making. I’ve learned a few lessons from going on outings with my two kids, and the most important one has been that scheduling is key. When I say scheduling, the only “scheduled” event we have each day that is pretty darn important is naptime. I’m told that as the kids get older, this is not an issue. But this part of the ownership cycle pretty much requires this important daily maintenance procedure. For us and many parents I speak with, missing naptime can have disastrous and unpredictable consequences. The short list includes – but is not limited to – screaming, defiance, crying and the world imploding. So, with that in mind, many of our outings take place either before or after naptime. Trust me – I’ve messed this up enough times to make this the most important consideration when going out. With that said, let’s talk about some of our destinations! Hopefully, my experience might lead to some inspiration on how to best handle your next outing.
Oh, The Places You’ll Go!
To the Grocery Store… Ever go to the grocery store on a weekend afternoon? If you have, you know that is the worst time to take your family if it can be helped. We are pretty fortunate in that we can go in the morning, right after everyone gets up and has had breakfast. The store is incredibly vacant during those hours. So, even if my son wants to go “bah, bah, BLAH!” through the entire store, we are offending only a fraction of the people we would be bothering on a busy weekend.
20 JUNE 2012 | FAM ILY M AN
Less people also means less friction going through the aisles, so we get through our shopping list much quicker. No father wants to spend more time at the grocery store than necessary. In fact, I can often be spotted grabbing items off of the shelves without stopping. Less time in the store equals more ESPN, right? The grocery store isn’t exciting for anyone, especially the kids. For my older daughter, Meijer has a wonderful incentive for good behavior. Not candy, nor toys. I’ll give you a hint; it costs just one penny and is shaped like a horse. Meijer (at least the store we go to in Goshen) has a wonderful mechanical horse named Sandy that only costs a penny to use. If my daughter is good while in the store, she gets to ride. Only once have we had to leave without letting her on. My 16-month-old son doesn’t negotiate yet, so if he starts getting punchy, handing him objects like the car keys or the grocery list usually grabs his attention long enough to finish. To the Fair… As summer approaches, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the Elkhart County 4-H Fair. Calling it a “fair” is an interesting euphemism for the experience. Dirt paths, sloppy food, gooey candy and farm animals (I don’t care how often they get washed) all conspire together to make your kids unrecognizably filthy. My kids aren’t old enough to vomit on the rides yet, so I can’t even begin to imagine that nightmare. But I know it’s coming. So if you’re like me and want the kids to be tidy, either stay clear or just relax a little bit and open yourself up to the fact that they will get a bath that night.
Edible Arrangements
Now here is the upside: My kids have the time of their lives at the fair, and it warms my heart every year to see them have so much fun. My daughter will patiently visit every type of animal and pets all of them (except the chickens; I think she got pecked one year). She loves the food and some of the shows now that she’s getting older. To the Church… Once a week, we go to see one of my daughter’s favorite friends, Lenny the Lion. At some point, our church decided to get a mascot for the younger kids that attend Sunday school. I know, it sounds totally weird for a church to have a lion as a mascot, or to even have a mascot at all, but the kids love it. And we love the fact that our church has a wonderful children’s program. All people volunteering have background checks and are trained on how to handle the kids. So we feel it’s a safe yet fun environment, and our older child actually looks forward to church each week instead of grumbling about it.
Visit us and Save $5
We have found that a church with an excellent kids’ program is important to all of us having a great experience with a minimal amount of trauma. Everyone learns something each Sunday, and as a family, we are better for it.
on your next arrangement or box order.
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Offer valid on select products. Cannot be combined with any other offers. Offer code must be used when placing the order. Offer expires 07/31/2012 Code: FMOM1348
$ To Infinity and Beyond… on we your next arrangement or box order. These are just a few of the places we visit and some examples how on your next order. onof your nextarrangement arrangementororbox boxyour order. on next arrangement or box order. survive and even enjoy the journey. From myarrangement experiences, I’ve that on your next or learned box order. Fruit® ®Experts® Offer valid on select products. Cannot be combined with a well-rested kid with a full stomach is, for the most part,Offer pretty fun to Fruit Experts valid onon select products. bebe combined any other offers.Cannot Offer code must bewith used Fruit Experts Offer valid select products. Cannot combined withwhen placing the Fruit Experts® anyany other offers. Offer code must be00/00/00 used when placing the Offer Cannot be combined with Since 1999 order. Offer expires Code: XXXX0000 other offers. Offer code must be used when placing the valid on select products. ® Since 1999 hang out with. That said, there are always exceptions. Often, I find we have order. Offer expires 00/00/00 Code: XXXX0000 any other offers. Offer code must be used when placing the Since 1999 order. Offer expires 00/00/00 Code: XXXX0000 Fruit Experts Offer valid on select products. Cannot be combined with EdibleArrangements.com Since 1999 order. Offer expires 00/00/00 Code: XXXX0000 offers. Offeriscode must be used placing the Yes, kids the most problems when I’m any theother one who rushing orwhen impatient. EdibleArrangements.com EdibleArrangements.com Since 1999 order. Offer expires 00/00/00 Code: XXXX0000 are kids. But ultimately, it is our attitude that can have the greatest effect ® ®® EdibleArrangements.com on them. So, next time you go out, relax, have fun and enjoy the ride! ®
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City 000-000-0000 Phone 574-247-5757 | Fax 574-247-5899| City 000-000-0000 City 000-000-0000 |Orange City 000-000-0000 Blossom with dipped strawberries and dipped bananas. ©2011 Edible Arrangements, LLC. All rights reserved. Available in a variety of sizes. Containers may vary. Franch
Rich Freeman joined the Marine Corps after high school and served as anOrange MPdipped on Blossom with dipped strawberries and©2011 dippedEdible bananas. ©2011 Edible Arrangements, LLC.Available All rightsinreserved. Available in a varietymay of sizes. Containers may vary.call Franchises available;orcallvisit 1-888-727-4258 or visit eafranchise.com Orange Blossom with strawberries andand dipped bananas. Arrangements, LLC. AllAll rights reserved. of of sizes. Containers vary. Franchises available; 1-888-727-4258 eafranchise.com Blossom with he dipped strawberries dipped bananas. ©2011 Edible Arrangements, LLC. rights reserved. Available ainvariety a variety sizes. Containers may vary. Franchises available; call 1-888-727-4258 or visit eafranchise.com the Special Reaction Team. Rich is currently a Mishawaka PoliceOrange Officer where serves on the Honor Guard and is a Close Quarter Combat Instructor. ®
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FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
21
Lost. THE SENSITIVE GUY
Thoughts on Finding Your Way Back to the Marriage of Your Dreams As someone who often travels internationally for a living, I’ve been lost more times than I can count. Not just, “Where’s the library?” sort of lost, but I’m talking lost on multiple continents, stranded at border crossings, and at least one time, I wasn’t even certain in which country I was. I’ve been so “Lost” that I considered calling Kate and Sawyer to ask them for directions. But what does this have to do with marriage, you ask? Well, it just so happens that in the marriage arena, getting lost is perhaps just as easy to do as when traveling the world. Certainly the consequences can be greater. Get lost in a remote part of Uganda and in many cases the worst you’ll usually end up with are a few mosquito bites, a couple of new Swahili-speaking friends, and a great story to tell the grandkids. Losing your way in love within your marriage, though, is considerably more painful.
to where you’ve been and can also help point the way to where you’re going.
Like most journeys, marriage starts as an adventure. No one ever sets out wanting to get lost, but as problems arise and unhealthy emotions get ignored, couples can quickly find themselves in uncharted terrain, unsure of how to return to the better days of the past. For men, if the stereotype is true, this can be especially difficult as we don’t often share the same propensity to dialog with others about our feelings as our female counterparts do. It doesn’t matter if we’re trying to find the location of a business luncheon or the key to our wives’ hearts, the fact of the matter is we probably aren’t going to stop for directions along the way.
Deal with Immediate Danger
So for my stubborn readers out there, here are a few “suggestions” to help your marriage find its way back home. (I won’t call them “directions,” however, for fear of you not wanting to take them, right?)
Locate Your Landmarks
As any good circumnavigator understands, knowing where you’re at is often more important than knowing where you’re going. This is where landmarks are crucial. When traveling, these might include the position of the sun or the stars, a high mountain peak, or a cool jungle stream, all of which help you pinpoint your exact location. These markers serve as permanent reminders as
22 JUNE 2012 | FAM ILY M AN
By lucas miles
In marriage, landmarks are no different. When journeying back to the marriage of your dreams, you have to know where you are. Talk with your spouse in order to survey your relationship. Is this just a challenging time in your relationship due to present circumstances? Or is this something more serious that needs special consideration and possibly even professional help. Additionally, landmarks could also be key points in your life where your relationship was best. A special vacation, a funny moment that only the two of you share, or your first night together could all serve as landmarks reminding you of your love for one another and pointing you back to a lasting, healthy relationship – no matter how lost you both may seem. When you’re lost, dealing with impending weather or any medical emergencies must take immediate precedence over finding your way back home. Likewise, in a marriage that is losing its way, dealing with emotional emergencies should be adequately addressed before expecting the other person to move forward in your relationship. For instance, if it was an affair that caused the marriage to get “lost,” then don’t expect to move forward until that fire is put out and trust is regained. Perhaps the immediate issue is simply a heated argument or some unresolved conflict. If that’s the case, then it’s time to get over yourself and show some humility in order to make things right. Either way, you can expect for the relationship to go nowhere until these circumstances are cared for properly.
Build a Shelter
In survival situations, often the biggest mistake people make is failing to stay put. Some mistakenly venture out into unfamiliar territory in order to find their way home, yet find themselves in worse trouble than if they would have just stayed where they were. In marriage, when things are at their worst, there exists the same temptation to venture out, for some even to contemplate a new partner. Though not always the case, too often divorce can be simply
trading one set of problems for another. The best alternative is to remain where you are and to begin to actively work, not just on your survival, but in building a relationship that lasts (ideally your spouse will take part in this). When you don’t know what to do, then do what you do know how to do. As the saying goes, “make a house a home.” In my own marriage, we have to work really hard to create a healthy relationship. Schedules and activities can very quickly control your life, and unless you intentionally build a safe haven for you and your spouse, when trouble comes, neither one of you will feel very safe or protected.
Embrace the Adventure
Finally, I think the reason why so many feel “lost” in relationships vis because they’ve been looking for something that doesn’t really exist. As long as you have unrealistic and unfair expectations for marriage, you’ll always be disappointed. For my wife and me, what really brings us back on the path to the marriage of our dreams is unconditional love. We don’t have a perfect marriage, but we truly enjoy learning how to love one another perfectly. No one knows how messed up I am like she does, and in the same way, no one loves me more. Marriage isn’t about being perfect, and despite what you’ve been told, it’s certainly not about getting your needs met – it’s about making the choice to love one another with no regard for condition or expectation. As a world traveler and a husband for the last 11 years, I’ve learned this – if you make a decision to enjoy every moment and embrace where you are as part of the adventure, then you can never get lost.
THE RULES OF THE ROAD
To help you achieve investment success and avoid problems on your journey toward your financial goals, you’ll want to observe these 10 “Rules of the Road”:
Edward Jones
Rule #1: Develop a strategy. Rule #2: Stick with quality. Rule #3: Diversify.
Rule #4: Invest for the long term. Rule #5: Address mistakes quickly. Rule #6: Understand risk, and take steps to help reduce it. Rule #7: It’s not just what you make, it’s what you keep. Rule #8: Quality stocks have historically outperformed quality bonds. Rule #9: Focus on what you can control.
Lucas Miles is the President of the Oasis Network For Churches and the Senior Pastor of Oasis Granger. He and his wife, Krissy, have a passion for seeing couples experience God’s best for their lives and relationships.
BEInG A DAD cAn BE tOuGh & Messy AnD ThAT’S WOrTh cELEBrATInG!
Rule #10: Review your strategy annually.
R Scott Puckett, AAMS®
Edward Jones® | Financial Advisor
209 Concord Mall Dr | Elkhart, IN 46517 (574)-875-0828 | scott.puckett@edwardjones.com
June 17 • 9:30Am One service… Outside… ArOund the pOnd A morning full of fun, worship, competitions and manly prizes! Oh, and did we mention MUD? Bring your own lawn chairs and blankets. Park at Goshen Middle School (Shuttle transportation will be provided).
Grace Community Church
huge pre-service Motorcycle ride (Leaves at 8am with a bike blessing to follow) stAy fOr lunch! We’ll have a hog roasting and ready for purchase right after the service. Lots of free giveaways for dads including: A shotgun, kayak, grill, camping and fishing gear, gift certificates and cooler full of MEAT!
GrAce cOMMunity church 20076 County Road 36 • Goshen, In 46526 info@gracecommunity-church.com • 574.533.7546
children register inside for Kidfest A special morning of fun just for KIDS!! (Sorry kids, but the mud is for dads only... your moms agree).
FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
23
THE SENSITIVE GUY
Fight Club Where Men are Learning to Fight for What Matters By meagan church
When Georgia’s son was young, she and her husband did the best they could to set his life on the right path. Even still, he made his own choices as he grew up and not all of them were for the best: “When he was just getting ready to go into Jr. High, we pulled him from the public school and put him in a Christian school. He had some of the best Bible teachers, and he just chose not to follow what was being taught. He chose the world instead of God’s way.” Of course, this troubled Georgia, but thankfully her now 38-year-old son has begun to turn things around, thanks in large part to a new group called Fight Club. “Through this Fight Club, he has been able to kick his alcohol addiction. He has been able to turn his life around and follow the Lord and make God the priority in his life instead of the afterthought. He is making his family the priority instead of doing things that aren’t family oriented. It has been an amazing change. He is an entirely different person.” Jeff Tinsley understands just how powerful Fight Club can be. “For me, I think Fight Club is a return to the discipline that God expects from us anyway, but so many men fail on that daily – that having accountability and the brotherhood of men who are
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all walking through and trying to live the life expected of us, helps us get to the next step, whatever that is.” So what exactly is Fight Club? It’s a new offering for men at Grace Community Church in Elkhart. It is a 12-week course where men come together in small groups to learn and grow together, keeping one another accountable along the way. “Fight Club was born out of a desire to see men come alive,” explained Jim Brown, pastor of Grace and creator of Fight Club. “It has been brewing in our hearts for the last 10 years. I have personally had a desire to reach out to men. I knew that men needed a forum and discipleship method. After prayer and doing what we’ve been doing for a while, we finally developed the Fight Club discipleship journey.” To kick-off the first Fight Club earlier this year, Jim made a simple announcement that a new offering for men was going to be available. Those interested were to meet at the church at midnight. That first night, nearly 400 men showed up. “It has been electric what has happened,” Jim said.
The idea came about when Jim noticed something was missing in the lives of men. “I think for far too long men have sat on the sidelines in the local church. These are high-capacity men who have sat on the sidelines. They haven’t had a calling and passion to get them excited. They walk in on Sunday mornings and nothing is calling them to come alive.” The goal of Fight Club is to light that passion by helping men strengthen their relationships, get in physical shape and get right with God. Each week, men have assignments to complete, such as showing their wives they love them, helping a neighbor in need, memorizing scripture or running eight miles in a week. “It’s basic discipleship stuff we should be doing,” Jim said. “If we aren’t being nudged by another brother or sister, we will default to mediocrity. There is something about achieving something and the reward that comes at the end of this.” In the end, 145 men completed the full challenge and graduated from the course. Now, 185 are enrolled in chapter two, including Jeff once again: “There really wasn’t any decision. It was kind of a given. It was a great walk and a great journey to take. I couldn’t come up with a single reason to not do it again, at least none that weren’t excuses.”
The core message and purpose behind the club deeply resonated with those who took part and touched not only the men, but also their wives, children, friends and more. As Jim said, “All in all, it’s lighting a fire in men’s hearts. I could tell you the hundreds of stories from wives of how their men have radically changed. Women and men have been in tears. They realize that for so long they have been sitting on the sidelines.” The impact Fight Club has made has been noticed not just locally. “I have been contacted all across America by church leaders who want something for men,” Jim said. In response, he and his team are developing Fight Club to make it available through the Web beginning in July. Jeff is a true believer in the program and hopes others will discover it for themselves. “I would recommend it to any air-breathing man who wants to take a better walk. There isn’t anyone who wouldn’t benefit from more discipline in their life.” After the transformation she witnessed in her own son, Georgia wholeheartedly agreed: “It really made a big difference in my son’s life. He allowed the Lord to use it and turn his life around. It has just been totally amazing.”
Underwritten by The Elkhart Group of
Gilsingers Book, Music & Lyrics by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey
Friday, July 20, 2012 Saturday, July 21, 2012 7:30 pm Sunday, July 22, 2012 3:00 pm
Meagan Church is a writer and mother of 2.5 kids. Her current projects include DefiningMotherhood, and Unexpectant where she explores the realities of modern motherhood for her book project.
ALL-YOUTH CAST Saturday, July 21, 2012 3:00 pm Sunday, July 22, 2012 7:30 pm $18 Adults
www.premierarts.org
$15 Senio rs & St $12 Chil udents 12 and undren der
Heritage Square Summer Activities • Heritage Square Art Fair Saturday, June 2, 10 AM - 4 PM • Heritage Road Show Saturday, June 23, 10 AM - 2 PM, Get verbal appraisals on antique items. $5 per item
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• Free Concert: Vyagra Falls at Heritage Square on Friday, July 13, music starts at 5 PM in front of Uptown Kitchen.
• Classic Car Cruise-In’s every Saturday from 5-8 PM
• Books, Buddies, and Blankets (starts June 6) The children’s reading program is every Wednesday from 10:30-11 AM, at Urban Swirl. Heritage Square • Mishawaka, IN www.shopheritagesquare.com • 574.855.3774 facebook.com/HeritageSquare
ShopHeritageSq FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
25
MYTH BUSTERS
CSI MICHIANA The Fictionalization of Forensics By Joseph Prahlow, M.D.
When I performed my first autopsy in the late 1980s, the closest point of reference many people had to the study of forensics was probably the popular TV show, “Quincy” (198693), which starred Jack Klugman as a forensic pathologist in Los Angeles. Even so, the existence of one former TV show that was quickly fading from popular culture memory was not enough for the masses to view my chosen profession as particularly interesting or topical. But that was then.
Today, based on the proliferation of TV shows devoted to the topic – like the “CSI” franchise, “Bones” and “NCIS” among the many – my title as a forensic pathologist with the South Bend Medical Foundation now solicits a considerably different reaction from those I meet than it would have 20 years ago. While the attention such shows have cast upon our profession is somewhat flattering for all of us in the field, the recent exposure of forensic pathology in pop culture has created some common misconceptions among the general public. And while most of these misconceptions are basically harmless, they do become more than trivial when they spill over into a criminal courtroom. This is what we call the CSI Effect. This describes the expectations of jurors that evidence presented in an actual homicide trial should always be based on various high tech, scientific tests. Or, if the evidence isn’t perceived as high tech – as it is often portrayed on television – that somehow the police, prosecutors or forensic scientists didn’t do their job properly. With the CSI Effect in mind, the following are three common areas where Hollywood frequently gets a little creative with the facts:
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Quick Turnaround Times for Test Results
On TV, we all observe that you get autopsy and other test results back in less than an hour. However, actual turnaround times are not so short. Usually, not even close. For instance, getting toxicology tests back can range from a few days to a couple months depending on whether they involve a particularly unusual or complex test. The standard is at least a few days to a few weeks. DNA testing as well as histology testing – where we look at tissue samples under a microscope – can also require days to weeks to complete. The bottom line is that the final report in a forensic autopsy can typically take one to two months, or even longer, to complete – not one to two commercial breaks.
Establishing Time of Death
This is one area where Hollywood continues to perpetuate the myth that forensic pathologists can accurately determine the time of death down to the hour, sometimes even down to the minute. However, it’s usually just not possible.
Obviously, writers do this because it makes for good drama on television. If you can find a body and go back three days to determine that the time of death was between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m., that helps identify possible suspects or support alibis. The reality is that, in most cases, there is no reliable test to establish time of death. We can use changes that occur to the body after death – like decomposition – to determine if death occurred closer to the time the deceased was last seen alive or when the body was found, but we cannot pinpoint it like they do on TV. One truly scientific way of estimating a range for time of death is soliciting the assistance of a forensic entomologist if insects are found on the body. The entomologist can help us arrive at a relatively accurate determination based on their assessments. But, again, this simply allows us to get closer to a possible time of death; it may narrow it down to a span of a few days, but usually not a specific day – let alone the hour or minute.
Crime Scene Details and Sequence
This is a huge myth. The perception that we can reliably determine the sequence and details of events that led to a death is seldom possible. For example, let’s say a body has two gunshot wounds, a stab wound and some abrasions on the knees and the backs of the hands. I’m typically not going to be able to testify that the abrasions on the backs of the hands resulted from fighting and that the injuries on the knees occurred when the victim fell to the floor. And that, then, they sustained the stab wound and were shot shortly afterwards. In a vast majority of cases, I simply can’t determine the actual sequence of events. Now, I can be presented with possible scenarios, such as the prosecution or defense attorney asking me, “Could these injuries have happened this way, yes or no?” and I will give my opinion, but I cannot determine with certainty the actual sequence of events. I can specify, for instance, some detailed information about gunshot wounds, such as this was a gunshot wound, and here is where the bullet entered and here is where it exited the body. But I can’t usually say, for example, this bullet wound occurred first, followed by this one, and then this one. If I see a bruise, I can’t say if it happened an hour or seven hours before death and is unrelated to the events that caused death.
Classic Photography
With all this said, I do know that many of these forensic crime dramas have medical consultants involved on the set. So, I don’t doubt that they are at least making an attempt to get the facts correct as best they can. At least as long as those facts don’t come at the expense of a compelling storyline or really great ending!
Joseph Prahlow, M.D. has been a forensic pathologist with the South Bend Medical Foundation since 1999. He has performed well over 3,000 autopsies throughout the span of his career.
FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
27
THE BUSINESSMAN
The
FAMILY MAN
Executive Forum Advice from Area Execs
As a business man and father, you know only too well the challenge of maintaining a healthy balance between home and the workplace. That’s why we decided to take a reader’s question on the topic and pose it to three successful area executives: Dan C. Adams, vice president of Manufacturing Technology, Inc.; Michael Garatoni, president of Growing Kids Learning Centers; and Tim Leman, president and chief executive officer at Gibson. Each offered insightful answers that may help you in your own quest to achieve balance.
Question: Over the past three years, the economic
slowdown caused us to reduce staff in the business and for me to pick up additional duties. Now that the recovery is beginning and we are short staff, the level of hours has not decreased. Our children are at that age where they are active, and I am unable to be present as much as I would want. How do other executives balance the demands of business and of their families? Tim Leman: It’s a challenge and something I constantly have to stay focused on. Some things that have worked for me include scheduling “my time” when it doesn’t conflict with family or business. For example, I get up every day at 4:45 a.m. to work out and read the news. It was tough getting up that early at first, but I’m used to it now and actually look forward to that quiet time in the mornings. I also look for “two for one” opportunities. Community service is important to me and something I think comes with our roles as executives, but where do we find the time for that? In my case, at different times
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I’m involved in coaching or teaching Sunday school at church, but always insist I have my kids’ class or team. I usually rotate between our kids, too, so I’m not doing more than one team or class at a time. They each know they’re on a cycle and will get me next. And most importantly, my wife and I find that scheduling eight to 10 weeks of date nights at a time and prearranging babysitters ensures that we’ll always have our alone time together.
more time, whether the economic times are good or bad. I used to think that work and family time competed with each other. The old idea was that if I was with my family then work suffered. Actually, the opposite is true. At work, I am evaluated on how effective I am at getting the job done, not pounding out the hours. When I work too much, I am less productive and effective. When I have a better balance, I am actually better at work and get more done.
I feel like I’m better about it now, but earlier in my career, I wasn’t doing a very good job on the husband or father front. I’ll admit though, there are still days when I feel guilty for leaving work early to go to basketball practice. But I know it’s the right thing to do, and I love my time with my family.
What has helped me find better balance is using my personal goals and objectives to “design” my position as company president rather than letting the position drive my life. While my position as company owner perhaps has more flexibility than some others, I think that most positions have some flexibility, especially in the long term. What creates flexibility is designing work systems and procedures that reduce me as the key part of the process or make me the bottleneck of the operation. For example, if I don’t want to be on-call whenever the office is open, then I need to design a system to address 80-90% of the routine problems that come up. This is remarkably simple to do and stops me from getting too many/any emergency calls in the middle of the night or on weekends.
Tim Leman President and Chief Executive Officer, Gibson www.gibsonins.com Mike Garatoni: Balancing the demands of the business and family is always a challenge. Work always needs
Surprisingly, many owners and executives unknowingly make themselves indispensable to the functioning of their business. With that structure, they have the weight of the entire organization bearing down on them. At some point, it becomes impossible to continue driving or growing the company through sheer force of the owner or president. Creating systems – policies, procedures, personnel and capabilities – that enable the business to function at some level without the direct involvement of the owner, president or executive enables that person to take time to review the competitive landscape, see new opportunities, and take some time off to be with his or her family. One book I would recommend you read is “E-Myth” by Michael Gerber. Michael Garatoni President, Growing Kids Learning Centers www.GrowingKids.com Daniel C. Adams: The balancing act of business demands and family can be particularly difficult for an executive or business owner. My personal experience as a business owner is that work is personal; it is family. It is impossible to avoid bringing work home because my mind tends to wander towards solving the problems of the day. One of the Core Values of our business has to do with the fact that we operate a family business, and we want the business environment to resemble family. We expect our employees to put family first, and we encourage business decisions that demonstrate that behavior. This gets more difficult when you try to apply this approach to your own life. Therefore, I try to set the scales for these decisions on a solid foundation of core values. I have decided that the following are important to me, which means they take precedence over work activities. • Kids’ Activities: I want to be at as many sporting or extras-curricular activities as possible. • Family Celebrations: I want to be present for all celebrations and holidays. • Family Daily Patterns: I want to be home for family meals and family rituals (reading, game time, bedtime, etc.). • Spouse Daily Time: I want to be able to spend time at the end of the day with my wife after the kids are in bed. • Family Weekends: I do not want to miss weekends with my family. It is important to me to be focused on my family during these times, and I do my best to schedule work and travel plans around these family events. I hold these times as sacred, which means I may need to give up some of my activities (golf, workouts, “my-time,” etc.) as a trade off when I need to do work at home. I trade “my time” before I trade family time. I also recognize that these values cannot be executed flawlessly, but it is my belief that I have built creditability with my family through consistent decision making. They know that when these values are violated that there is no other way around it, and I am asked (as I should be) to occasionally justify my decisions. My family knows that I cannot avoid the occasional imbalance, but they trust me to make the difficult decisions.
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THE BUSINESSMAN
e c n a l Ba
The
Game Finding What’s First By Kristin Baker
“If you’re interested in ‘balancing’ work and pleasure, stop trying to balance them. Instead make your work more pleasurable.” ~Donald Trump “Man, I love Mondays. It’s one of my most favorite days of the week!” says Dan Ianello, CEO of Nello Corporation. “Business is like a game. We have competitors, and I wonder, what can we do today to beat them? I tend to be the dreamer, the risk-taker. The one who says ‘How hard can it be?’” Dan inherited his drive for business from his parents who have owned two beauty salons, a truck company, a laundry mat and a gym. Dan began his own company, Nello Corporation, in 2002 with just six guys in their twenties and now has over one hundred employees, four locations and has expanded internationally. Back in 2002, Dan was a mid-level manager at a small company that built cell phone towers. He definitely knew this season was a stepping stone in his career. When his company was facing a buyout from a larger company, Dan’s entrepreneurial engine kicked into high gear. He continues, “You need to emulate the next level if you want to get to it. You act, dress, think and talk like the next level. Sometimes it’s ready, shoot, aim. You just have to go for it.” Where others might have viewed the buyout as an ending, Dan saw an opportunity for a new beginning. So he pitched his idea to his dream team of co-workers. “I told them, ‘Collectively, we can do this. We’re smart enough to control or own destiny. The writing is on the wall. Let’s make some real money.’” Dan stresses the importance of “getting the right people on the bus” when starting out with your own business. “I may get to be the dreamer, but my team is crucial to the success of our company. They’re brilliant. They ask all the right questions when I want to take the mountain. When I want to jump off the cliff, they ask ‘How much rope do we give Dan today?’ I get to lead and dream without fear because I have such a strong team.”
“Balance, peace, and joy are the fruit of a successful life. It starts with recognizing your talents and finding ways to serve others by using them.” ~Thomas Kinkade Dan has full confidence in his lead team, and the feeling is mutual. Matt Gustafson, VP of sales says, “Dan is very willing to listen and try new ideas. Very rarely does he dominate a meeting at work or force ideas upon you. Now, he is the boss and ultimately it is his decision, but seldom do you feel like your input is not carefully
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member of the team. Everyone working with him has the same goal. Dan raises the bar and then convinces everyone we can still clear it.”
“My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.” ~Winston Churchill “The thing I love about Dan the most is that even though he’s a very driven, intelligent man, he’s also a positive person who doesn’t take himself too seriously. I love that we can laugh together,” says Julie Ianello, Dan’s beautiful wife of eighteen years. Dan and Julie were high school sweethearts. “If you can survive driver’s training together, you can pretty much survive anything as a couple,” she adds as they both laugh. It’s obvious that, like Dan’s colleagues, Julie knows she’s valued and appreciated. “Even though Dan’s busy, if I really need his help, he’ll do everything he can to be there for me. The key to any successful marriage is keeping the lines of communication open. Even in the challenging times of those first few years of his business, I realized you just can’t give up. Yes, it’s about togetherness, but it’s also your individual choices. It’s about choosing selflessness and finding ways to balance each other out.” considered. He has been very successful, and he wants the same thing for his employees.” Kevin Goggins, sales manager, confirmed this: “Dan affirms team member’s strengths and encourages or teaches in areas where development may be needed. He’s one of the smartest guys I know, but never talks over your head or makes you feel inferior. He displays a confidence in us all, which, in turn, makes us more confident. He genuinely wants for us all to grow and develop.” Kevin Brisson, Nello’s chief financial officer, echoed the sentiments of his colleagues: “Among Dan’s greatest qualities as a leader is his drive for success and how he translates that into an ability to get those working with him to push themselves to achieve things beyond what they otherwise would have. Dan does not have all of the answers, nor do I. Without specifically expressing it, we both understand that about each other. Professionally, we are always working towards the same goals. This allows us to have an open and often frank discussion about business without the pressures of worrying about credit or politics; we both just want the best path to success for all parties involved. This type of interaction – and the success it breeds – makes me feel like a valued
“She’s always right; it’s just sometimes it takes me longer to realize it.” Dan jokes, but is quick to give credit where credit is due. “Julie makes it all work. I couldn’t do any of this without her. She’s my advisory board, my sounding board, and my positive attitude is because of her. Virtually any issue that comes up at work, I can bring home to her for the best advice. If I’m struggling with an employee, she’ll be the one to remind me that everyone has baggage, and you never know what they might be going through outside the office. I may the one driving, but she puts up the guard rails to keep me on track.”
“Looking at the balanced whole – the work needs, the family needs, the other needs – you’ll try to come up with the best solution taking all factors into consideration. We are limited but we can push back the borders of our limitations.” ~Stephen Covey
respect him. He’s busy, but I also know he loves me because he comes to my track meets and basketball games.” Their second oldest Allie shared that she wants to become an engineer, a rare dream for a 10-year-old girl. Allie says her favorite thing about her dad is how he encourages her. Katie, the 9-year-old, adds, “He’s funny, too. The other day I was talking about a trumpet, and he thought I said jump your armpits!” The whole family laughs. Zoe, the youngest (4) adds that her favorite time is when he reads her stories and plays Indiana Jones on the computer. Throughout most of the interview, she has been practicing her handstands while her dad holds her feet, trying out her own personal balancing act. Dan says, “In those busy seasons, I try to pick at least one thing a day. When they were little, it was rocking them to sleep and reading them The Little Engine That Could.” The family laughs as they realize that his determination and drive even carries over into the books he chooses for them. “Now that they’re older, it’s dinnertime. ‘Unplugging’ is a big word in our house, thanks to Julie. So we turn off all cell phones and laptops and sit down to eat and talk about our day. The kids tell the funniest stories. It’s about being intentional. It may not always be fun, but quantity time results in quality time with your kids. I tell people at Nello, we work hard so we can go home and play.”
“Faith gives you an inner strength and a sense of balance and perspective in life.” ~Gregory Peck For Dan, his faith comes first. He is a committed member of Granger Community Church. “It’s great to look at Bill Gates, Michael Dell, and read great books like Jim Collin’s Good to Great. But the man I look up to the most is our pastor Mark Beeson. He is the closest tangible person I always learn- the most from. In those first few years of the business, it was win or die. We never took vacations. My faith has made me a better man in all areas. I first came to our church with questions about faith, but I also learned how to be a better businessman, husband and father all in a one stop shop. I know it’s cliché, but I really do ask myself what Jesus might do in each situation. In the morning, I always pray for my family and my company before getting out of my truck to head into work. It’s still a daily balancing act. On those days when it feels complicated, I get down to that simple question “What’s the next right thing to do? And then… I do it. It’s just about finding what’s really first.”
Kristin Baker is the creative arts project manager for a local church and a former high school teacher. She lives in Osceola with her husband and young daughter.
Dan has four kids. His oldest Daniel (13) says, “My dad was born to be a businessman. He’s a leader. People FAMILY MAN | JUNE 2012
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Trust your heart to Elkhart General Hospital.
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A place that provides collaborative care, and always has. A place that’s the leader in the region for clinical research of the heart. A place with diagnostics on par with anything you’ll find at a major university. These are the things that should be important to you. This is your heart we’re talking about.
To learn more about the only hospital rated #1 for Cardiac Surgery in all of Indiana, visit egh.org.
600 East Boulevard • Elkhart, Indiana 46514
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