Michigan Golf News, August 20, 2010

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Michigan Golf News

August 20, 2010

Vol. 10, no. 33

Marsh Ridge Resort and the Natural Golf Course http://www.marshridge.com • Marsh Ridge Resort Television Network http://glsp.com/marshridge/ • 2010 Golf Package Rates: http://tiny.cc/yf99k • Labor Day Madness Registration: http://marshridge.com

Photo © Brian Oar

Hidden River Golf & Casting Club http://www.hiddenriver.com • Golf Information: http://tiny.cc/xkf4m • Golf Packages: http://tiny.cc/ihm6o

Sweetgrass GC was designed by Paul Albanese and has gathered some impressive awards since it opened last year.

In This Issue: __/ __/ __/ __/ __/ __/

Treetops Resort http://treetops.com • Treetops Television Network http://glsp.com/treetops/ • Golf Packages, 2010: http://tiny.cc/497ku • Patriot Golf Day Registration http://tiny.cc/mtzrj • 23rd Annual Pepsi Charity Invitational Registration: http://tiny.cc/ie75d Sandy Ridge Golf Course • New course video introduced by Jerry Matthews http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhDSOrxw3z Half Off Golf • Jeff Lesson'sWebsite: • http://lessonongolf.com Michigan Golfer Magazine

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2010 PGA & ETC, By Jack Berry Assessing the Dustin Johnson Ruling, By Brad and Bill Shelton MGN On the Road: Sweetgrass and the "Perfect 4-some" Hawk Hollow to Host Michigan PGA Championship, By Tim Hygh View from the Forward Tees: By Sherlynn Everly New Shows on GLSP Network Stephen Kircher Interview– Reflections on the Winter Olympics at Cypress Mountain, the Golf Market and Pure Michigan Scott Hebert at the PGA Championship Wisconsin Golf with Peter Allen and Mike Duff Scenes From the Porcupines A Tour of Sweetgrass GC Cary Baker Wins 9th GAM Championship at Flint Golf Club Thad Gutowski - The Cyber-Beezer Labor Day Madness at Marsh Ridge Resort Minzey's Musings The 92nd PGA Championship: Soap Opera or "Glory's Last Shot?",

By Brad Shelton Michigan Golfer Magazine - Summer Issue Michigan Golf Calendar Michigan Golfer Television Upcoming Shows Michigan Golf Archives http://michigangolfer.com/mgn/archives.html Michigan Golf History

http://michigangolfer.com/mgn/history.html __/

Michigan Golf Association Links

http://michigangolfer.com/mgn/associations.html

============================= 2010 PGA & ETC, By Jack Berry ============================= Herb Kohler is a big bear of a man and he’s proud of the 1200 or so ugly babies that Dr. Frankenstein, AKA golf course designer Pete Dye, presented him with on what was described as wasteland, toxic dump, military field, whatever, on the Lake Michigan shore of Wisconsin.

Neither Kohler, head of the huge restroom implement manufacturer, nor Dye know precisely how many ugly babies are out there. In joint appearances last week during the 92nd PGA Championship it was said that the number varies depending on winds and encroaching grasses. With all that, the name Whistling Straits seems appropriate.

So how is one to know whether your golf ball rests in what rules officialdom calls a bunker or what most folks who play golf, including touring professionals, call a sand trap? Especially on the last hole of a major championship, in a heated dash to the wire, as it were.

I learned that the Local Rules, which apply to that course, were posted on the wall and mirrors in the lockerroom for the 2004 PGA Championship, which Vijay Singh won, and for last week’s event. And, each player received a rules sheet and at the top of the list it was noted that all those spits of sand, small, large, inside and outside the gallery ropes, were considered bunkers and thus it was a penalty to ground your club prior to taking a shot.

In normal circumstances, bunkers/sand traps, are raked and a rake is on the ground for handy use.

When there isn’t a rake, and spectators have been standing in it, one would suppose it’s what is called a “waste area.” Like the whole property used to be before Kohler hired Dye who ordered more than 13,000 truckloads of sand and dirt and then pushed them every which-way with big graders. It cost a ton but Kohler has it.

Besides the porcelain works he has a five star resort 10 miles south of Whistling Straits in the town named, fittingly, Kohler, Wisconsin. He also owns two hotels on the 18th hole of golf’s most hallowed ground, the Old Course at St. Andrews.

Personally, while the Kohler-Dye sandscape looks spectacular from the blimp, I was there in 2004 and against last week and I think it’s a gimmicky course. You need steel spikes or mountain climbers' crampons on the slick hills, and we shouldn’t be surprised at the weird happenings, topped by Dustin Johnson’s two shot penalty that took him out of a playoff with Martin Kaymer.

Bill Fields of Golf World, one of my favorite writers, reported that David Price, a Dallas club pro and veteran official who has worked 34 majors and two Ryder Cups, was with Johnson. On two occasions earlier in the round Johnson, or his caddie, asked what he could do. When Johnson’s drive went outside the gallery rope on 18, into an area where the fans were standing, Price asked Johnson if he was O.K. and Johnson just asked Price to go forward and move the huge crowd back.

After he made the shot, an official who watched it on television, radioed Price who then asked Johnson if he had grounded his club. Johnson said he didn't think so but later he saw the TV picture, and agreed that he had grounded it. Price said Johnson didn't cuss, didn't argue and accepted it.

I think players should be reminded on the first tee even though it is the player's responsibility to know the rules.

I’ve been asked that if it was Jack Nicklaus or Tiger Woods would the result have been the same. I think Nicklaus knew the rules as good as any official but he always asked. Woods is the same. Johnson is inexperienced and sometimes moves too fast. He did it at Pebble Beach in the U.S. Open and disintegrated.

Now he’s lost two major championships he could have won, just two months apart. I don’t recall that happening to anyone else in that brief a span. In golf you’re supposed to learn from your mistakes.

Will Johnson, with so much talent, learn?

And, speaking of spans, with global players winning the last three majors this year, Northern Ireland’s Graeme McDowell the U.S. Open, South Africa’s Louis Oosthuizen the British Open and Germany’s Kaymer winning the PGA, American domination of golf’s greatest prizes is, as the late Ernie Harwell would say, long gone.

Non-Americans have won eight of the last 12 majors and not since 1982, a 28-year stretch, have Americans won all four in the same year. Craig Stadler won the Masters (beating Dan Pohl in playoff), Tom Watson won the U.S. and British Opens and Raymond Floyd won the PGA. America’s Ryder Cup chances aren’t looking too good to retain the trophy in Wales in October. America, the downtrodden underdog.

SUMMER is waning and I've had a great one, been on the Sunrise Side and played Lakewood Shores' multi-flowered course, Seredella, and on the Sunset Side it was Boyne Mountain and the Tournament of Champions, Grand Traverse and the 25th anniversary of the Bear, wineries on Old Mission Peninsula and the well-renamed Manitou Passage (formerly King's Challenge) on the Leelanau Peninsula.

Manitou is a work in progress with huge improvements made after Bob Kuras, of the Homestead, and friends bought it in May 2009. It takes time for everything to settle in. From the eighth tee, the highest point of the golf course, on a blue sky day, the Manitou Passage, the stretch of Lake Michigan between Pyramid Point of the Sleeping Bear National Lakeshore and North Manitou Island stood out like a Pure Michigan commercial. And a sailboat was gliding through the water. Kuras said he presses a button that cues the sailboat.

This summer has been a complete change from 2009. Bob Koutnik, president of the Michigan Golf Course Owners Association and professional at Fox Run, just off I-75 and US-127 at Grayling, said last summer was cold and wet.

“This year it's been too hot,” Koutnik said. “People come to play early in the morning and when it heats up they go to cool down and canoe the Au Sable or go to beaches at the lakes.”

As Roseanne Roseannadanna said, “It's always something.” Like getting sweet cherries in cherryland.

Many years ago when I was at the Free Press I wrote about the difficulty of getting a cherry pie in Traverse City (well, it was winter, during the ski season). Couldn't find any sweet cherries in TC this week and stopped at Cherry Street Market on M-72 in Kalkaska. Bags of sweet cherries. From Washington state.

========================================================== ASSESSING THE DUSTIN JOHNSON RULING: By Brad and Bill Shelton ========================================================== Ignorantia Juris Non Excusat By: Brad Shelton Kohler, Wisconsin - The ruling against Dustin Johnson was unfortunate, controversial, and unpopular, but most importantly the decision to assess Johnson a two-shot penalty for grounding his club in a hazard on the last hole of the 92nd PGA Championship was absolutely correct.

Rule 13-4b (Ball in Hazard; Prohibited Actions) in The Rules of Golf is quite clear – “…the player must not… touch the ground in the hazard… with his hand or a club. The Penalty for breach of rule in stroke play is two strokes.”

Ignorance of the law, or in this case ignorance of the rules, does not excuse the violation. Not only is the rule clearly stated in the rule book, but the PGA made it abundantly clear to the players that there were more than 1,000 bunkers on the course, both inside and outside the ropes, and that each should be played as a hazard.

Whether on the last hole of a major championship or during a weekend game of $2 Nassau, it is on all of us as golfers to follow the rules to the letter of the law and maintain the integrity of the game. Johnson had a rules official with his group, was aware of the rule and PGA rules notice, and could have consulted his caddie, playing partner or rules official before proceeding.

The onus, and thus the consequence, is on Johnson.

The outrage against the PGA and its ruling are nothing more than a commentary on the softening of society as it pertains to what is right and wrong. In this case Johnson was wrong, as he openly admitted, and received a just penalty for his action. ***** Dustin Johnson: Dyed in the Dust Bill Shelton You may have a several academic degrees, played competitive golf, and be able to quote the USGA Rules verbatim, but Brad when did you lose your common sense? Dustin Johnson was robbed of a chance to be the winner of the PGA Championship. How many chances will he have to join that elite group of golfers? Sure, the Chairman of the Rules Committee piously explained to Peter Kostis on national television that there was no choice but to penalize Dustin for the rules infraction—grounding his club in a bunker. Just as you did, he cited the chapter and verse. Then he cited the myriad of actions that had been taken to make the players aware that all of those nearly 1000 sand “traps” would be in play. Let’s be honest, it was a masterful ploy by the PGA to cover up several mistakes.

The first mistake was deciding that all of those little sand pits (some no bigger than a pizza pan) would be played as regular bunkers. Surely, Pete Dye did not envision that when he designed the course.

More than 90 percent of those would never come into play for the average golfer and less than half of that number for the pros. The majority of those bunkers (and it is difficult to even call them bunkers) are for aesthetic value. The rules committee had three choices: consider them all as regular bunkers

where club could not be grounded; designate all bunkers “outside the ropes” where fans were standing as waste bunkers; or define them as part of the rough. I am not sure that Dustin Johnson was the only golfer who hit out of similar areas in the earlier rounds. The difference was that his shot was covered on television.

The second mistake resulted from the first. Fans were standing in those areas all along the course. If the PGA had determined that they were sand bunkers, the gallery ropes should have been adjusted further away from the fairway. How many tournaments can anyone identify where the fans have been allowed to stand in the sand traps? So, if the PGA wanted to be so strict about the bunkers, why didn’t they reroute the spectators.

The third mistake is that a PGA rules official was standing alongside Dustin Johnson and never indicated that it was a bunker. With all the footprints, loose grass, cigarette butts, and trampled down edges, it would have been prudent to inform Dustin. But, my guess is that the rules official did NOT recognize it as a bunker!

If someone saw what was happening in the rules tent, why didn’t they radio the official?

Dustin played the shot, made a bogey, qualified for the playoff, then was assessed a two shot penalty and was left in the sand. Come on PGA, don’t penalize others for your mistakes! **Editor's Note: Dr. William (Bill) Shelton, was the President of Eastern Michigan University, for 11 years, before he returned to the faculty. He was also our original host of the Michigan Golfer Television Show, serving in that capacity for three years, before moving to the Carolinas. Brad, his son, is in the educational consulting business, after a stint with the University of Kentucky. Both have compassion for the game and considerably skill. Brad is a scratch golfer and Bill plays to a nine handicap. ========================================================== MGN ON THE ROAD: SWEETGRASS AND THE "PERFECT 4-SOME" ========================================================== This week's GolfWeek Magazine has a cover wrap that features the "Perfect 4-some", Timberstone, Greywalls, Sweetgrass and you, the golfer. This campaign has done well in attracting Wisconsin and Illinois golfers as well as some golfers from lower Michigan and Canada. We have golfed all three and can vouch for the excellence of the courses and the overall experience.

Timberstone is a Jerry Matthews course that is located at the Pine Mountain resort. Our reporter, Mike Duff, did a story on the course a few years back: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cr4P3H59rE Mike Beckman, one of our writers that grew up in Marquette, speaks with excitement about Greywalls, now a home town wonder of courses: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzaQYSrLWQQ This past week, we had the opportunity to play Sweetgrass GC, a course that we originally visited in November of 2008. The course was designed by Paul Albanese and has gathered some impressive awards since it opened last year. Albanese and his partner Chris Lutzke have developed an international design firm http://www.golf-designs.com that has projects in the far east, Central Amerca and Europe.

We have followed the career of Albanese, with his early work with Jerry Matthews, a former partner-

ship with Ray Hearn and of late, his partnership with Lutzke. We did a fun show with Albanese, when he was remodeling some bunkers at Christiana CC with a team of horses. It was a hoot to shoot and has gotten some nice traffic. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1fOgOlbsZw We really enjoyed our golf at Sweetgrass. Dave Douglas, the Director of Golf, had previously worked at Terrace Bluffs Golf in nearby Gladstone, prior to his getting the job at Sweetgrass. After our round, we had the opportunity to interview Douglas about his work at the Island Resort and his thoughts about the new course. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQ5g4spcm40

==================================================== VIEW FROM THE FORWARD TEES: By Sherlynn Everly ==================================================== It appears Jim and I are two steps (days) behind you two, as usual. We spent three days playing golf in Michiana last week, including a round at Harbor Shores two days after the Grand Opening celebration. Sorry we missed you!

Our first stop was a fundraising golf scramble for Young Life at the Warren Golf Course at Notre Dame University. This course is a “Certified Audubon International Cooperative Sanctuary” and is a surprising oasis nestled between the campus and the Indiana Tollroad. Forward tee players get a 1000-yard advantage over the regular white tees, and there are few tough carries from there. Ben Crenshaw designed the course in 1999, and it has lots of tall grass and sand traps. It resembles a links course on some holes with trees surrounding the others. The beverage cart server told us that originally the fairways were much narrower, but “alumni” pushed for cutting back the fescue and creating wider fairways – thanks, Alumni! Overall, a beautiful course (just block out the tollroad noise) that looks like it’s been there forever!

I’ll be pondering the whole concept of Harbor Shores for quite some time. It’s truly an “urban” golf course and you’ll find everything along the 18 holes. Dunes, Lake Michigan views, new housing starts, sculptures, wetlands and the St. Joe River are all positives. Industrial power lines, at least six road crossings (including one six lane highway!), and convoluted lay-out with minimal signage were definite negatives. The three signature holes in the dunes were beautiful, but was it really necessary to add the raised sand mounds with tall grass in the middle of the fairways and in front of the greens? It was overkill for us, and for the seniors from Chicago that we played with it was enough for them to decide to cancel their second rounds the next day. I understand this is a new course, and it will take time for them to build a clubhouse and all the amenities one would expect when paying $125 per round. One more thing – the forward tees at this course are BLUE and in my mind, that’s just wrong!

Our third day of play was another Michigan Golf Course Owner’s Golden Passbook freebie. With 27 holes, Indian Lake Hills is a great layout, nestled along Indian Lake in the rolling hills of Eau Claire, MI. We played the West and North nines, measuring around 5500 yards. There were few hazards on the West Course, but the North Course offered sand, water, trees and orchards! It is not a resort course by any means, but the staff are friendly and the atmosphere is family oriented. Overall, an excellent local course.

=============================================================================== MICKELSON, MAHAN LEAD EIGHT AUTOMATIC QUALIFERS LANDING BERTHS ON RYDER CUP TEAM =============================================================================== Masters Champion Phil Mickelson and Hunter Mahan, who combined for three victories this season, lead eight players who earned automatic berths on the 2010 United States Ryder Cup Team. The top eight players were determined following the conclusion of the 92nd PGA Championship at Whistling Straits on Sunday.

U.S. Team Captain Corey Pavin will complete the 12-member roster by announcing his four Captain's selections on Tuesday, Sept. 7, at 10:30 a.m. EDT, at the New York Stock Exchange in New York City.

The European Ryder Cup Team will be determined on Aug. 29, with Captain Colin Montgomerie announcing his three Captain's selections that day at 1 p.m. EDT, following the Johnnie Walker Championship at Gleneagles, Scotland.

The Ryder Cup is among the last great professional sporting events where winning, and not prize money, is its own reward. The United States owns a 25-10-2 advantage in the biennial competition, including a victory in 2008 at Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville, Ky. 2010 U.S. Ryder Cup Standings (as of 8/15/10) Top 8 Positions Earned Automatic Berths Place/Player Points Years/Ryder Cup Overall Record 1. Phil Mickelson 6095.063 1995, '97, '99, 2002, '04, '06, '08 10-14-6 2. Hunter Mahan 4,095.6208 2008 2-0-3 3. Bubba Watson 3894.3188 Debut -4. Jim Furyk 3,763.6428 1997, '99, 2002, '04, '06, '08 8-13-3 5. Steve Stricker 3,697.9750 2008 0-2-1 6. Dustin Johnson 3,573.8051 Debut -7. Jeff Overton 3,553.1478 Debut -8. Matt Kuchar 3,074.25287 Debut -================================================================== HAWK HOLLOW TO HOST MICHIGAN PGA CHAMPIONSHIP: By Tim Hygh ================================================================= Scott Hebert will attempt to win his 5th consecutive Michigan PGA Championship at the Hawk Hollow Properties in East Lansing August 23rd through the 25th. Hebert has been the only winner since the event moved to the Eagle Eye and Hawk Hollow golf courses in 2006. Hebert set the course record at Eagle Eye, eight-under 64, last year and coasted to a 13-stroke win.

“Scott is our section’s most celebrated player,” Michigan PGA Executive Director, Kevin Helm said.

“He just returned home from playing in the PGA Championship at Whistling Straights, he’s played in a number of PGA Tour events this year and it was just announced he’ll be inducted into the Upper Peninsula Sports Hall of Fame next year.” Hebert’s four titles tie him with Grand Rapids’ Lynn Janson. Legendary golfers Chick Harbert (six-championships) and Al Watrous (nine-championships) are the only players in the history of this tournament with more wins.

161-players will be in the field. The 54-hole event features a cut after the second round. Players in the

top 70 positions and ties will be vying for a piece of the $65,000 purse. The winner’s share is $7,000.

“We’re proud to host the championship and house the Michigan PGA Headquarters on our complex” Alex Coss, General Manager of Hawk Hollow Properties said. “PGA Professionals add so much to the game of the golf on the consumer level. It’s a privilege to have them playing here and receive such positive response to the quality of our courses.”

Past champions in the 2010 field include, two-time winners Brian Cairns from Fox Hills Golf Course, Steve Brady from Oakland Hills Country Club and Barry Redmond of Boyne Highlands. Other past champions include, John Traub of TNT Enterprises. Tom Harding of Kendall Academy of Golf, Joe Pollack of Boulder Creek Golf Club, Bob Makoski of Grosse Ile CC and Randy Erskine of Great Oaks Country Club.

The Michigan PGA Championship is open to the public. There is no admission charge. Players will be on both courses between 8am and 6pm the first two rounds/. The final round is played at Eagle Eye starting at 8am and concluding around 2pm.

Taken from a Michigan PGA, Tim Hygh release ============================================================= CARY BAKER WINS 9TH GAM CHAMPIONSHIP AT FLINT GOLF CLUB ============================================================= Casey Baker was nearly perfect today in the final round of the 89th GAM Championship at Flint Golf Club. He had no bogeys and didn’t miss any putts in his round of 65 which secured the championship for the Ann Arbor resident. His total for all three rounds was an eight-under-par 208.

“I was up and down a lot and my putting was really good today,” said Baker. “That had a lot to do with it. I sunk a lot of six and eight-foot putts today and that was key.”

Baker said his 15-foot putt on the 335-yard par 4 15th hole for birdie was the highlight of his round.

Tuesday’s round had a lot less interference from Mother Nature than Monday’s first two rounds.

Baker said he and the rest of the field were battling the wind on Monday.

“It was definitely a lot better out there today,” said Baker. “Monday it was so windy that you really had to keep your shots low and there were certain shots you couldn’t take. I’m sure everyone found it more comfortable today.”

Baker said the first person he planned to call to tell about his victory was his wife, who is home with their three-month-old baby. The second call will go to his dad.

“My dad used to be a member here years ago so I can’t wait to tell him that I won the GAM Championship here,” said Baker.

Baker was the 2005 GAM Champion at Country Club of Detroit.

Full results are available on the GAM web site at http://www.gam.org.

Taken from a Susan Smiley GAM release

=========================================== LABOR DAY MADNESS AT MARSH RIDGE RESORT =========================================== September 3rd-6th 2 Nights Lodging 3 Days Unlimited Golf 2 Breakfasts' 1 Dinner $199.98* *Per Person/based on Double Occupancy *Cart & Taxes Included =========================== NEW SHOWS ON GLSP NETWORK ============================= Michigan Travel Television Scenes From Porcupine State Park http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxIq0yBh1H0 Michigan Skier Television Stephen Kircher -Winter Olympics, the Golf Market and Pure Michigan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8ecYP9c_cc Michigan Golfer Television Scott Hebert at the PGA Championship - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-B_2Y2PGJM Wisconsin Golf- Peter Allen and Mike Duff discuss their favorites: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTmzwSPmA7w Sweetgrass GC - Jennie McCafferty interviews Dave Douglas, Dir. of Golf http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQ5g4spcm40 =================================== THAD GUTOWSKI - THE CYBER-GEEZER =================================== I remember when communication in America took a quantum leap forward - the Pony Express began delivering “Fast Mail” coast-to-coast in a breathtaking ten days. Okay, so I don’t go back quite that far, but I do remember when the mailman delivered twice a day and a first-class stamp cost a staggering 3 cents.

The venerable US Postal Service, part of the American way since 1774 is getting hammered by something developed just a few decades ago. Most of us remember from fifth-grade history that Eli Whitney invented dry gin, but few know it was Ray Tomlinson an MIT engineer, who sent the first electronic message via the internet. His @ locater mark is a part of a zillion messages sent world-wide every day.

Email marketing is the best way today to get your message to a target market. Though the cost of delivery is infinitesimal (about a penny a piece) the true cost comes from developing a good list and creating an appropriate message, But to achieve maximum results there are some rules that must be followed to insure that your efforts are going to pay off.

Sending relevant messages to a segmented audience is the single most effective way to turn prospects into customers and customers into significant revenue producers. Emailing senior scramble details to a twenty something is not only a waste of time, but you run the risk of the recipient not opening future communications. The mission is to maximize openings – to do whatever is necessary to achieve this.

Though the layout and template are important it’s the message and not the messenger. The reader is interested in an answer to his/her unconscious question: What’s in it for me? Tests show you have only about seven seconds to answer this question. No matter how your email looks, with a charming header and a nice layout, the reader is most interested in what you have to say. The goal of course is to keep the reader on the page longer than the seven seconds and that takes a bit of creative skill.

Give the reader what they are looking for and it is not just about price, unless unfortunately that is the image you have created for your facility. But it’s never too late to rally, so now is the time to consider a new approach.

Start by including a feature or two that separates your facility from the crowd. Be sure to tell the reader what they want to hear, not just what you want to say. To achieve this, segmenting your list is critical. This could be one of the more time consuming elements of successful internet marketing.

Follow the KISS principle – keep the story (s) short and sweet. This may be the toughest part of the assignment. Authors write, rewrite and rewrite again. John Gresham one of today’s most prolific novelists said what he writes today often is unacceptable tomorrow, requiring a rewrite. If it works for Mr. Gresham it should work for us. Let’s face it, everyone can’t manage a golf course and everyone can’t write interesting copy.

Try to project your personality (presuming it’s pleasant!) because the reader is more likely to stay on your message. Equally important, they will have a stronger tendency to open future messages because he/she trusts you and is eager to hear what you have to say.

In future issues we will look at many other important considerations in developing a successful email marketing program.

Are you pleased with your present efforts in email marketing?

If so, I would like to see a sample.

Please send to: cybergeezer@inbox.com ================== MINZEY'S MUSINGS ================== FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH: 1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS. 2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR. 3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION. 4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM? 6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELFHELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE. 7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS? 8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP? 9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION? 10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM? 11 WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT? 12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT? 13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES? 14. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE? 15. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY? 16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED? 17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS? 18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT? 19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES? 20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS? 21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD? 22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. 23. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO? Note: Dr. Jack Minzey, now retired, was one of Eastern Michigan University's finest professors, The wit he brings to this page, was also the wit he brought to his classroom. ============================================================================= THE 92ND PGA CHAMPIONSHIP: SOAP OPERA OR "GLORY'S LAST SHOT?" : By Brad Shelton ============================================================================= Without question, the 92nd PGA Championship has taken on a character unlike its predecessors. In an attempt to boost the sagging status of the final major, the PGA nabobs christened it “Glory’s Last Shot.” The best players in the world (except the injured Lee Westwood) gathered at Whistling Straits in Kohler, Wisconsin; the 7,500 yard course was immaculately manicured; course designer Pete Dye and owner Herb Kohler continued their mutual admiration society; and the global question was seemingly who would emerge (or perhaps crash even further) by Sunday night.

But, before the first tee starter announced the pairings for the 7:00 am pairing on Thursday morning, more non-golf story lines had developed than plots in a television soap opera!

The Tiger Saga--Media attention to Tiger Woods is nothing new but it was most often on his golf dominance (until a minor traffic accident). But the Tiger Saga has taken on several new sidebars recently. First, he fired Hank Haney and has been “coachless” over the last several tournaments. Who will be given the honor or horror of trying to recover Tiger’s swing? Well, caddie Steve Williams not only carried Tiger’s bag in the practice round but also spent a great deal of time holding a golf club

shaft against Tiger’s head when he swung. Stevie, remember to hold it not swing it against your boss’s head!

The rest of the coaching speculation currently centers around Steve Foley, coach of Hunter Mahan and Sean O‘Hair. On the Whistling Straits practice range, Woods ask Foley to film a few of his swings. The speculation that Foley was destined to be the new coach grew as Foley expressed an interest in serving as Tiger’s coach and Tiger confirmed that it was a possibilty. The capping moment occurred during Wednesday’s practice round as the media noted that Foley followed Tiger through nine holes. The caveat--Tiger was playing with O‘Hair and Mahan, both students of Foley.

The Tiger Saga II--Tiger fulfilled his obligation to “endure” a media interview on Monday of the PGA Championship. Coming off his worst performance ever as a professional golfer, Tiger clearly tried to control his sensitivity and frustration and most of his answers, though brief, were generally delivered in a non-defensive manner. Nearing the end of the mandatory 30-minute session, the mood abruptly changed when a reporter began by qualifying his question with the words, “Tiger, you have gone from the greatest golfer in the world to the worst golfer on the planet . . .” Tiger apparently never heard the question as his response was to the effect that “I may be the worst golfer on the planet but I can beat you!” For all practical purposes, the media interview was over.

Phil in Pain, But Maybe no Gain--As if the Monday interview with golf’s number 1 player didn’t offer enough excitement, Phil Mickelson (like Avis trying harder because he is number 2) made two shocking announcements during his press conference. First, he acknowledged that he had been suffering from psoriatic arthritis for several months. “Five days before the US Open I woke up and I had some intense pain . . . so much so that I couldn’t walk.“ Though not using the pain as an excuse for his recent poor play, he did acknowledge that only recently has he been able to get relief by self-administered injections. Could the pain which made it difficult for Lefty to swing and even walk have brought about his recent collapses on the course? Would the new medication allow him to capture his second major of the year AND #1 world ranking? Or, will Bones need to carry 2 drivers and 4 wedges in Lefty’s bag?

The second announcement was equally as jolting to those who know Phil. He will no long eat meat!

Phil has become a vegetarian. What about those burgers, Lefty? Weren’t they so good that you wanted to buy the franchise? Are you on a health kick or experiencing temporary insanity? Let’s meet at the Big Burger and talk this over.

He Said, She Said, He Said--By Tuesday of the PGA Championship, a Lake Michigan whirlwind was whipping across the fescue fairways and through the media center regarding the confrontation between Ryder Cup Captain Corey Pavin and Golf Channel analyst Jim Gray. Gray had earlier reported that during a conversation with Pavin, the Captain said emphatically that Tiger Woods would be one of his picks for the team. Pavin denied the statement through an on-course tweet during the practice round early the next morning and later at a press briefing. Following his statement, Gray confronted Pavin and, according to Pavin’s wife, called the Captain a “liar” and with pointed finger declared “You’re going down.” While Gray has not refuted his comments, he did suggest that that was a private conversation. Rumor is that Pavin and Gray will have a duel with six irons at dusk on Sunday.

Bitten by the “Golf” Bug--For players, staff, and spectators, the “golf bug” at Whistling Straits has been the mosquito, or more aptly swarms of mosquitoes! In the early morning and late afternoon, the pesky creatures attack with vengeance. The result is that bug spray outsold sunscreen, but on a positive note the pace of play (traditionally slow) improved dramatically--especially near the water holes!

Weather or Not-- Warm temperatures with high humidity are not unexpected in August even in Wisconsin. Add two inches of rain on Wednesday and the course became very soggy to the point that Anthony Kim finished his practice round barefooted. The grass parking areas for spectators became a muddy muck quickly. Thursday morning dawned with cloudless skies and bright sunshine--until you were within five miles of Whistling Straits. Sitting on the west shore of Lake Michigan, the course was totally enshroud with a blanket of thick fog. Round One starting times had to be delayed by 3 hours and 10 minutes and then play was suspend later as the fog rolled back onto the course. Completing the first round had become problematic especially with scattered thunderstorms predicted for the afternoon.

A Long Drive – With the narrow fairways and a major championship course setup at more than 7,500 yards this week, everyone knew before the first tee time on Thursday that the contestants would need accuracy and distance with their drivers. But what about the accuracy and distance needed for the patrons drive just to get to Whistling Straits? Located 90 minutes north of Milwaukee and 100 miles south of Green Bay, Whistling Straits is seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Despite the drive, the PGA is expecting a sell-out crowd from the passionate Wisconsin sports fans. Considering there were more than 30,000 at a Brewers games Wednesday night against the cellar-dwellers Arizona Diamondbacks, I believe it.

All of this and not one ball had been struck from the tee in the 92nd PGA Championship! I went to cover a golf tournament but it feels more like watching “The Days of Our Lives.” On a positive closing note, I had an unexpected opportunity to see the countryside of Wisconsin as the media bus driver got lost on the trip from Milwaukee to Kohler--at least, until the fog reduced visibility to zero! When the final shot has been played, how will the 92nd PGA Championship end? Maybe the final day will be more like a soap opera than a major championship.

Reporting from somewhere in eastern Wisconsin… ========================================== MICHIGAN GOLFER MAGAZINE - SUMMER ISSUE ========================================== Table of Contents Alma Scots - Chris Lewis Walter Hagen Returns to French Lick - Brad Shelton French Lick Defies Economic Downturn - William Shelton Forest Dunes - Mike Duff Acquinas Golf - Chris Lewis http://issuu.com/michigan_golfer/docs/mg0610 Past Issues 1996 - 2010 http://michigangolfer.com/#pastissues ============================= 2010 MICHIGAN GOLF CALENDAR ============================= August 21 MIAGT at Calderone Golf Club, Calderone Golf Club, Jackson, MI http://www.miagt.com/index.php?pg=schedule

Aug. 21-22 Treetops Resort hostsGolfweek's Junior Series Qualifier http://www.golfweekevents.com/Juniors2010.shtml 23-25 Michigan PGA Championship, Eagle Eye GC 23-29 U.S. Amateur, Chambers Bay, University Place, Washington September 3-6 Labor Day Madness at Marsh Ridge Resort, Gaylord, MI Registration: http://marshridge.com/golf/proto/marshridge/calendar/calendar.htm Videos of Past Tournaments http://glsp.com/marshridge 3-5 3rd Annual Patriot Golf Day Shootout, Treetops Resort, Gaylord, MI Registration: http://treetops.com/index.php?method=golf&subpage=patriotgolfday Videos of Past Tournaments http://glsp.com/treetops 11 MIAGT at Coyote Preserve GC, Coyote Preserve Golf Club, Hartland, MI http://www.miagt.com/index.php?pg=schedule 13-16 Michigan PGA Match Play, Oakland University, Sharf 18 MIAGT Tour Championship, The Grande Golf Club, Jackson, MI http://www.miagt.com/index.php?pg=schedule 26-28 23rd Annual Pepsi Charity Invitational, Treetops Resort, Gaylord, MI Registration: http://www.treetops.com/index.php?method=golf&subpage=pepsitournament Videos of Past Tournaments http://glsp.com/treetops October 1-3 Ryder Cup, Celtic Manor Resort, Newport, Wales 2 Golf League Championship Tournament. Eagle Eye Golf Course, Bath http://www.migolfleague.com or http://www.mgcoa.org 9-10 Toughman Scramble, Treetops and Black Bear GC, Gaylord and Vanderbilt, MI http://www.treetops.com/index.php?method=golf&subpage=Toughman_Tournament November and December 30 - Dec 2 Michigan Golf Business Conference and Vendor Fair,Amway Grand Plaza Hotel, Grand Rapids http://www.mgcoa.org

- MG -