2016-03-31

ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OF EDITORIAL FREEDOM Thursday, March 31, 2016

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Police called in response to anti-Islam Diag chalk MARINA ROSS/Daily

LSA junior David Schafer presents an award to LSA freshman Linday Lore at the Michigan Difference Student Leadership Awards at Rogel Ballroom in the Michigan Union Wednesday.

Michigan Difference event recognizes student leaders Fifth annual ceremony gives array of awards to groups, individuals

Michigan Difference Student Leadership Awards Thursday night at the Michigan Union’s Rogel Ballroom.

Hosted by the University’s division of Student Life, the event recognized individual students as well as student organizations that have made a positive difference on campus and in surrounding communities. Nominees were selected from a pool of online applications submitted both

By ISHI MORI For the Daily

About 100 University of Michigan students, faculty and staff celebrated the fifth annual

by prospective nominees and recommendations from students.

Steve Bodei, assistant director of student development and experiential learning, said earlier iterations of the awards ceremony have been more academically-oriented, which attendees found discouraging.

“Originally, the award ceremony was drier, academic … it was during (the) day and no one really came,” Bodei said.

“We really tried to spice it up and put a lot of life into it.”

He said the event committee within Student Life remodeled the event to recognize students across campus and disciplines they believe are doing remarkable work.

Awards in multiple categories were given out this year, including Cross Cultural Programming, Excellence in Philanthropy and Outstanding See AWARDS, Page 2A

Messages like “Stop Islam” on Diag draw student calls for action

By ALEXA ST. JOHN Daily Staff Reporter

Several political and religious statements chalked on the Diag this week, including “Stop Islam,” “Trump 2016” and “Build the Wall,” prompted students to call University of Michigan police Wednesday and group together to wash the chalkings off.

Though the phrases were written in chalk, students gathered on the Diag Wednesday afternoon said they thought the effects of them were more permanent on campus climate.

Rackham student Banen Al-Sheemary said she and fellow students who encountered the writing and gathered in the Diag found the sayings hurtful

HEALTH

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Documentary film panel talks mental health Bipolar disorder and solutions to it focus of movie and discussion

By NISA KHAN Daily Staff Reporter

The University of Michigan’s Depression Center aired an early showing of the PBS documentary “Ride the Tiger: A Guide Through the Bipolar Brain” Wednesday along with a panel discussion featuring researchers, activists and Ed Moore, the film’s producer and director.

The film features prominent figures living with bipolar disorder such as Academy Award-winning actress Patty Duke, who passed away Tuesday. Melvin McInnis, research director for the Heinz C. Prechter Bipolar Research Fund at the University, made an appearance both in the film

and as the panel’s moderator.

He discussed hisresearch, which compares the brain matter of those with bipolar disorder to those without, by working with stem cells.

Moore said the film’s initial focus was on bipolar entrepreneurs who, in anticipation of a heavy workload and need for professionalism, stopped taking their medication. This is known as “riding the tiger,” which Moore said is similar to a Chinese proverb about a fear of facing reality, and can result in patients’ driving themselves into hypomania, a persistent state of mood elevation.

The panel discussion, which featured people from the documentary, was livestreamedon the PBS website, following the film screening.

Moore said he was informed early on by one of the film’s advisers that the goal of the documentary should be to spread knowledge about the See PANEL, Page 2A

and disturbing.

“This is so reflective of our student campus and the depths of racism and the things that students of color have to endure and that the administration is continuously silent on,” Al-Sheemary said.

“This is just another example.

This is happening year after year and we’ve been telling the administration the same things over and over again.”

Al-Sheemary said she and other students had been attempting to contact the University’s Division of Public Safety and Security as well as the University’s administration regarding the writing since Wednesday morning without much response.

“I’ve been getting bounced around from one person to another, and I understand it’s after hours, but there should be some kind of emergency number besides the police because a lot of students of color don’t feel comfortable calling the police,” Al-Sheemary said. “They’re our See CHALK, Page 2A

U’ plan for prescription drugs jumps in total cost Benefits Office says economic inflation, FDA regulations played role in hike

By ALEXA ST. JOHN Daily Staff Reporter

SINDUJA KILARU/Daily

Dwayne Barnes, Center for Michigan outreach coordinator, speaks at the Ford School of Public Policy Wednesday.

Nonpartisan polling center gauges opinions of residents Group asks audience about trust in state government

By CALEB CHADWELL Daily Staff Reporter

The Center for Michigan held a polling event in Ann Arbor Wednesday, during which 68 percent of attendees said their

trust in Michigan’s government is “low” or “very low.”

The event, held at the Ford School of Public Policy and attended by 25 community members, aimed to gather research on public trust in state government.

Polling topics included the government’s ability to protect public health, provide services for low-income families and foster economic growth, as well as the fairness of the emergency manager system and term limits in the Michigan

legislature. The group plans to publish their findings with the aim of affecting policy change in Michigan.

The center is a non-profit organization that gathers data to gauge how residents feel about state-wide issues. During the event, each of the 25 people in attendance was given a clicker to respond to a variety of questions regarding their level of trust in the state government.

Public Policy Prof. Elisabeth See FORD, Page 3A

Due to rising prices and the increased availability and use of specialty drugs, the cost of the University of Michigan’s prescription plan through the University Benefits Office increased significantly in 2015.

Specialty drugs are defined as high-cost drugs used in cases requiring specialized medications, such as rheumatoid arthritis, multiple sclerosis and oncology.

The prescription plan itself cost $121.6 million in 2015 — a 15.8-percent increase since 2014.

The total cost on a per-member per-month basis would be 13.4-percent increase, ultimately making the cost of the plan $15 million more than 2014.

Rich Holcomb, senior director See DRUGS, Page 3A

Thestatement (April Fool’s) B-Side the The B-Side celebrates April Fool’s a day early by Then and now: your complete envisioning a University fight guide club. to shopping and dining in style » INSIDE » INSIDE

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universities across the country implementing similar policies.

“This is an extremely An online petition for the “Trans students at the important issue on campus,” University of Michigan to include University of Michigan often Kinesiology junior Katherine student pronouns on class rosters find themselves facing threats Baur wrote in the comments and disclose them to professors to their mental and physical of the petition. “Allowing has continued to gain traction safety,” the petition reads. professors/GSIs to know the over recent weeks and may see “Currently, students must reach pronoun preferences of students action shortly. out to their professors and will not only make students feel Organizers plan to approach GSIs on their own or risk being more comfortable on campus, but administrators such as misgendered in the classroom. will also hopefully augment their University Provost Martha This can be a mentally and ability to learn.”

Pollack and Kedra Ishop, emotionally draining experience LSA senior Joseph Beattie associate vice president for for individuals who constantly commented that a policy like this Enrollment Management, have to inform or correct their would help foster an inclusive once the petition reaches 500 professors of their identity.” environment at the University. signatures. As of Wednesday It cites Harvard as an “Students should feel safe, evening, it had 432. example of one of the other comfortable and included as

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The FBI announced Monday that they unlocked an iPhone 5c belonging to one of the perpetrators of the San Bernardino terrorist attack, despite Apple’s refusal to assist them, the LA Time reported. Apple now wants the FBI to reveal how they unlocked the phone so the tech giant can develop increased security.

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members of this campus, and the University should do all within its power to ensure that students do feel this way,” Beattie wrote.

As well, Public Health student Adam Eickmeyer noted in the comments that implementing such a policy would also be beneficial for instructors.

“As a GSI, this would be a great addition for both instructors and students,” Eickmeyer wrote. “We need to support our trans* and gender nonconforming/nonbinary students on campus, and this is an easy way to do so.”

-EMMA KINERY

In CNN’s Republican town hall on Tuesday night, the remaining Republican candidates Donald Trump, U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz (R–Texas) and Ohio Governor John Kasich backed off to varying degrees from a pledge made earlier in the campaign season to support the eventual GOP nominee, CNN reported.

>> SEE B-SIDE on 1B

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only resource and that I think is ridiculous.”

One DPSS officer arrived at the scene around 6:45 p.m Wednesday, but informed students that there was not much that could be done because it was after hours. In response, a group of about ten students began to wash the chalk messages off the Diag with water and towels themselves, pouring buckets of water to erase the statements and wiping down other concrete with rags.

“It’s irresponsible of the administration that we are actually out here with buckets of water and napkins to clean off these hateful messages and the administration isn’t taking care of it,” Al-Sheemary said. “And not only is the administration not taking care of it, they are putting us through a really difficult process. That perpetuates these really racist and hateful stereotypes that turn into violence and turn into students of color feeling unsafe

WHERE: The Ark, 316 South Main Street

on campus.”

LSA junior Tahany Alsabahi, one of the students who contacted DPSS, echoed Al-Sheemary’s sentiments.

“There needs to be another resource for students, and I think, also, the University has to speak out against these things,” Alsabahi said. “because oftentimes when this happens for other groups, they’re very quick to release statements and say that they don’t condone anti-Semitism or any other type of stuff like that, but it gets really iffy and it becomes really difficult to get them to speak out against Islamophobia.”

University spokesperson Rick Fitzgerald affirmed the University’s stance on inclusivity on campus in a statement Wednesday night.

“Earlier today someone used chalk to write a #stopislam message on the main square in the heart of our campus known as the Diag,” the statement read. “Attacks directed toward any member or group within the University of Michigan community, based on a belief or characteristic, are inconsistent

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Ann Arbor resident Craig Wise balances a passerby’s bike on his chin at the Diag Wednesday.

with our values of respect, civility and equality. We all understand that where speech is free it will sometimes wound.

But our message is this: We are fully committed to fostering an environment that is welcoming and inclusive of everyone.

Tonight we are reminded there is much work yet to be done.”

Al-Sheemary said she was not surprised by either the various writings for and against Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, or statements targeting Muslim students.

“It’s nothing new,” Al-Sheemary said. “Maybe it has just been heightened with the election, but this is just something that happened before 9/11, spiked with 9/11 and it’s not anything new and it affects a lot of students of color.”

Alsabahi also noted that she thought statements like those on the Diag had connotations beyond political.

“When speech can incite violence and aggression and hatred towards another group, that’s when it becomes hate speech,” she said.

PANEL From Page 1A

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WHAT: Members of the University jazz faculty will perform as soloists with the Jazz Ensemble. Drummer Kenrick Scott will also perform as a special guest.

CHALK From Page 1A

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reality of bipolar disorder and treatment, which he said he found surprising.

“I had no idea that there is a segment of the population where they still prescribed, as Patty Duke had put it, may she rest in peace, that you pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

You can do this,” Moore said.

“You just got to get out there and get with it (mentally). And it’s not that simple.”

The film emphasized the biological components of the disorder and the swings between mania and depression.

One of the panelists was activist and award-winning writer Melody Moezzi, whose manic episode was portrayed in the film.

Moezzi said Wednesday she felt like some of her feelings were misrepresented in the documentary as being

AWARDS From Page 1A Market Material. Though many individuals and groups won multiple awards, Men’s and Women’s Club Ultimate Frisbee raked in the most with three: Female Athlete of the Year, Male Athlete of the Year and Club Sport of the Year.

LSA senior Braden Engstrom, presenter for the Club Sports Award, said the event was a great opportunity for club teams to celebrate their progress over the semester.

“It’s really great that we get to showcase club sports with the rest of the Michigan community,” he said.

Some candidates were anonymously submitted and surprised by their invitations to attend. Dental senior Hunter Beaubien said she attended alone because she did not know who nominated her.

Other organizations and individuals were more heavily represented at the event.

delusional, and that the narration of the documentary spoke for her at times. In particular, she said, despite the unusual nature of her actions, the spirit of them was not given proper credit.

“Though my delusion was accurately portrayed as being that I could change the world through hula-hooping and I could bring out world peace through hula-hooping, which is mildly delusional, I get it,” she said. “But I do believe that one person can change the world.”

She also discussed how the stigma of mental illness can be a greater difficulty than the bipolarism itself, saying she now she recognizes the signs and she can take measures to prevent outbursts.

She noted that if she had a cure for bipolar disorder, in the form of a drug, she would not know if she would take it, saying she appreciated that her mind works differently than others’.

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Sophomore of the Year Award recipient Darian Razdar and Fraternity or Sorority of the Year Award recipient Lambda Theta Alpha were greeted by noticeably huge applause as they went up on stage, showcasing crowd support.

The last award given out was the World Leaders Awar, to Rama Mwenesi, a graduate student in the College of Engineering and School of Public Health.

Mwenesi co-founded Kiamani MVMT, a social enterprise that aims to empower Kenyan women and children orphaned by HIV/AIDS. He also won the Graduate Student of the Year Award for his work as a Health Care Management Engineering Consultant in the hospital. For Mwenesi, this year marked his third World Leaders Award.

“To do it once, you’re really humbled. To do it twice, you’re inspired to really believe in yourself and your team and those around you and the idea to actually affect and impact change,” Mwenesi said. “But to win it a third time is …

The film discussed several treatment options for individuals to have a more comfortable lifestyle, emphasizing talk therapy, connecting with the family, exercise, dieting and getting regular sleep.

The film also discussed more unusual methods of approaching mental such as electric shock therapy, which despite its negative history due to its severity, was portrayed as beneficial to bipolar and depressed patients in the film. Ketamine, an anesthetic, was also featured — the film highlighted research that showed how soldiers in Vietnam thought the drug lightened their mood.

Another panelist, Ellen Forney, a cartoonist and award-winning writer, said artists with bipolar disorder sometimes allow the condition to become part of the creative process.

Forney mentioned yoga being

there’s just no words for it.”

Mwenesi said he hoped students will learn from his example and employ sincerity, commitment and passion to affect change.

E. Royster Harper, vice president for student life, said Mwenesi’s enthusiasm was exactly the kind she was eager to see.

“It’s just really affirming others acknowledging the work (the students) are doing,” Harper said. “To me, it’s one of the reasons why the University is really such a special place. And the contributions that students make here, they take it and go out and change the world. I really like that.”

Business senior Jennifer Liu said she appreciated how the ceremony gave recognition to small and quiet groups that contribute greatly to society.

“Group are represented from North Campus, South Campus, Central Campus, and it’s really bringing the entire community together to celebrate student accomplishments,” she said.

a large part of her routine, and emphasized how connectivity and therapy is as important to those with bipolar disorder as well as individual action.

Moezzi agreed, and said her Muslim faith helped her manage her condition.

McInnis said he wanted University students to take away tips to maintain a healthy lifestyle from the film.

“What I want Michigan students to gain from this is to have an awareness of their moods, and awareness that their moods can cycle up and down, and there are pathological states that can emerge from mood,” McInnis said. “I also want them to hear the message of healthy sleep patterns, healthy exercise patterns, healthy dietary patterns and the connectivity that is important in healthy living. Living health implies being health and vice versa.”

The documentary will premiere on PBS on April 13.

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NEWS BRIEFS

Sustainability progress outlined in annual report The University released its 2015 Sustainability Progress Report Wednesday, highlighting their efforts for a healthier and greener planet and University environment.

The report outlined progress the University has made with regard to sustainability goals for climate, waste prevention and community awareness, according to the University press release.

“Like the very best qualities of the University of Michigan, our work in sustainability is more than the sum of our many excellent parts,” said University President Mark Schlissel in the press release.

Multiple efforts are being funded by the University to encourage sustainability and progress in areas including waste and greenhouse gas reduction.

There are multiple goals for the University’s future sustainability programs, including protecting the Huron River through stormwater control strategies, reducing chemical application by 36 percent and purchasing more University food from local and sustainable sources, according to the report.

Lincoln Project brought to campus The Lincoln Project, a project focusing on the importance of access to public higher education, will come to the University’s Ann Arbor campus this Monday.

Former University President Mary Sue Coleman and former chancellor of the University of California, Berkeley Robert Birgeneau have led the Lincoln Project for the last three years to draw attention to the effects that lower state investment in public higher education could have, as well as the role that the government plays in funding public research universities.

Following its introduction to campus Monday, the Lincoln Project will make recommendations encouraging the development of federal, corporate and philanthropic financial sources for maintaining and establishing public higher education nationwide, according to the University press release.

The program will take place in the Vandenberg Room of the Michigan League at 5 p.m. and will explore multiple questions regarding how public universities can address the financial challenges they face.

Research suggests personality could impact e-mail style Recent University research found personality traits will influence how people respond to typos and grammatical errors.

According to the University press release, while extroverted people are more likely to overlook typos and grammatical errors, introverted people judge those who send the e-mail errors more harshly.

Linguistics and Psychology Prof. Julie Boland said in a press release that the study examined social judgments made by readers among 83 participants of the study. The participants read typos and grammatical errors and then were asked to rate the e-mail in terms of the friendliness and level of intelligence from the sender they perceived.

Intuitively, those who reported grammar as important prior to participating in the experiment were also more likely to be bothered by errors following the experiment.

—ALEXA ST. JOHN

FORD From Page 1A Gerber, who previously worked with the center, introduced the event and the center’s goals in research and the state government.

“The center considers itself a think-and-do tank,” Gerber said. “Its primary mission is to go beyond research.”

Gerber said events such as this aim to collect data for research in order to push a nonpartisan, centrist policy agenda in the state legislature.

“This is an important part of what we do,” Gerber said. “Engaging in in-depth conversations about important issues with lots of different people around the state.”

Center Outreach Coordinator Dwayne Barnes, who moderated the polling, said this event is the fourth in their larger community conversation campaign. He added that the center will put on similar events around the state of Michigan for the remainder of the calendar year.

According to data provided by the center, only 20 percent of Michigan residents currently trust the state government “most of the time.” The area where participants typically placed the least trust in state

DRUGS From Page 1A for benefits, said the Benefits Office works with vendors to develop plans for aspects such as dental and visual coverage, prescription drugs and retirement.

“The Benefits Office is responsible for developing strategy and developing subsequently our health and welfare plans for all University faculty and staff,” Holcomb said.

Keith Bruhnsen, prescription drug plan assistant director and manager for the Benefits Office, said the prescription plan specifically covers nearly 103,000 beneficiaries, including faculty and staff members, retirees and the dependents of these individuals.

“The prescription plan is a self-insured, self-administered plan by the University in which we provide coverage for outpatient prescription drugs for all of our beneficiaries that are enrolled in any of the various health plans that we offer,” Bruhnsen said.

The prescription plan is part of University efforts to limit how much beneficiaries pay for health care, according to the Benefits office. The plan recommends a number of ways to save money on prescriptions such as requesting generic medications when possible to pay the lowest available copay, using the preferred drug list to pay a lower copay on brand name prescriptions and using mail order programs to save much of the original copay costs.

“The University took control of managing our prescription drug plan back in 2003 so that we could maintain both a quality plan for the University and its members, but also provide some strong costcontainment strategies in terms of managing the plan toward appropriate use and utilizing the internal expertise of the faculty and staff here to help us in our operations and strategic planning,” Bruhnsen said.

Prior to 2003, prescription drugs were embedded within each medical plan, he said.

Each medical plan — whether through Blue Cross, Care Choices HMO Plan, HAP HMO Plan or other plans — would monitor and manage its own drug plans, but coverage of drugs was sometimes different from one plan to another.

Members were moving from plan to plan in order to get the coverage they needed at a particular time.

As the cost of prescription drugs increased, a University task force studied these plans and made a recommendation to executive officers to include a prescription drug plan with other benefits to better manage cost trends.

Along with general economic inflation and use of specialty

News government was in their ability to protect public health. All 25 people polled Wednesday answered that their trust was “low” or “very low” in this area of the state government, and the Flint water crisis was discussed as a possible cause of this significant distrust.

The participants placed the most trust in the state government to foster economic growth. However, even then, only 32 percent said they had a “high” level of trust.

Barnes said location within Michigan could affect participant responses due to varying political beliefs in certain geographic areas.

“As we go across the state, no conversation is the same, and that’s what makes this job so unique,” he said.

Rackham student Jennifer Mann said she participated in the event because she had heard about the center and was curious about how they facilitated these conversations.

“I think you’re hearing from a lot of different viewpoints and different voter bases,” Mann said. “We’re coming at things from different perspectives, but you end up hearing somewhat similar threads throughout, which is kind of encouraging to hear about a population living in a similar area.”

drugs, an increase in Food and Drug Administration approval for more specialty drugs also contributed to the cost increase, Holcomb said. These specialty drugs require careful management, dispensing and monitoring, and can often result in dramatic health care improvements for some conditions.

In particular Holcomb cited the release of specialty drugs for treating hepatitis C a year ago, which cost patients nearly $90,000 for an eight- to 12-week course of treatment. Between 95 and 100 percent of the patients who used this prescription drug received complete remission of the disease, indicating the necessity for the prescription drug plan to cover particularly costly and specialty drugs.

Though only 1.6 percent of the 949,000 prescriptions that were dispensed last year through the plan are specialty medications, $40 million was spent in 2015 on these prescriptions through the plan. This was a significant percentage — about 37 percent — of the total cost of the prescription drug plan, Bruhnsen said. Due to upcoming developments in the pharmaceutical industry, he said he expects this percentage to increase to nearly 50 percent of the prescription drug plan’s total cost.

Because of these cost increases, the University holds a separate contract for both mailorder pharmacy and specialty pharmacy, due to it being a more cost-effective arrangement.

For example, NoviXus, a mail order pharmacy, supplies larger quantities of maintenance medication at a reduced copay.

Maintenance medications include those taken on a regular basis, such as medications for high-cholesterol or birth control. The University uses its own hospital pharmacy specialty service for narcoticbased medications that cannot be shipped via the NoviXux mail-order pharmacy. “(Mail-order prescriptions) are more cost-effective than retail pharmacies because they automate all of their processing and they mail it and it’s very convenient,” Holcomb said. “They usually turn the prescription around in less than a day and often people receive it the next day in their mailbox.

They have…low error rate and very high satisfaction from the surveys that we’ve done with our membership.”

Ultimately, employees and other beneficiaries are not personally penalized due to these increasing costs — members have the same level of cost-sharing copayment regardless of whether the medication is a low-cost or specialty medication — but in general, the cost of health care will continue to increase due to these medicinal advances, according to Holcomb.

Thursday, March 31, 2016 — 3A

K O R E A N C L AY

SINDUJA KILARU/Daily

Fourteen-year-old Yara Almatroud, a Ann Arbor resident, works on her piece during a Korean clay art class hosted at the University of Michigan Musuem of Art Wednesday.

Opinion

4A —Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

The real beneficiaries of service

Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890.

420 Maynard St. Ann Arbor, MI 48109 tothedaily@michigandaily.com SHOHAM GEVA EDITOR IN CHIEF

CLAIRE BRYAN AND REGAN DETWILER EDITORIAL PAGE EDITORS

LAURA SCHINAGLE MANAGING EDITOR

Unsigned editorials reflect the official position of the Daily’s Editorial Board.

All other signed articles and illustrations represent solely the views of their authors.

FROM THE DAILY

A new start for Detroit schools

O

ver the years of Detroit’s economic decline, the Detroit Public School system has suffered immensely. Since 2003-2004, enrollment in DPS has declined by 200,000 students. In addition, the district has accumulated $1.5 billion in debt that has hindered its ability to remain a safe and functional learning environment. Over the past couple of months, teachers in DPS have successfully gained increased media attention for their “sick-outs” in protest of the horrible conditions in many Detroit schools, which has prompted political officials to take notice as well. DPS was on schedule to run out of money by April of this year when the legislature passed emergency funding to keep the schools open through the end of the school year.

The Michigan House and Senate have drafted two separate packages of bills to deal with the longterm prospects of Detroit schools. Both bills split the current district into two entities, DPS and the Detroit Community School District. But only the Senate bill reorganizes Detroit schools in a way that returns significant autonomy to the people of Detroit while still being cost effective.

Voters should put pressure on their representatives to pass the Senate package because it has gained bipartisan support and provides DPS with a financially viable route to recovery that prioritizes needs of students. Under both packages, DPS would exist only as a fiscal agent dedicated to paying off debt. DCSD would be a new entity funded with federal, state and local money that assumes the same role that DPS has currently, only with a whole new structural organization.

Under the Senate plan elections for a new school board would take place as soon as 2021. Until the election, though, there would be a seven-member school board of officials elected by Gov. Rick Snyder (R) and Mayor Mike Duggan (D). The current Financial Review Commission would oversee the debt of DPS, like the House bill proposes.

In addition, a Detroit Education Commission would be created to appoint a chief education officer, both officials would coordinate community involvement in DCSD.

The Senate package not only offers the most benefit for the community of Detroit, including the schools, teachers, students and citizens, but also has bipartisan support as well as support from Snyder, Duggan and a number of organizations dedicated to education such as StudentsFirst MI, Coalition for the Future of Detroit Schoolchildren, Excellent Schools Detroit and AFT Michigan.

The House package, on the other hand, pushes too hard against educators and leaves the new school district in the hands of government-appointed personnel for too long to be considered beneficial to the Detroit school system.

The bill would additionally end teachers’ rights to collective bargaining for anything other than pay and benefits. A financial review commission would oversee the paying off of debt from the old DPS and a new school board would be phased in, taking full control after eight years to oversee the actions of DCSD. In addition to curtailing teachers’ rights and keeping democracy from the citizens of Detroit, the House bill has not gained bipartisan support.

The House bill also attempts to reform teacher and school evaluations in a manner that could be detrimental to the district.

Teachers would be evaluated based on student test scores, giving each school an overall grade that would be available to parents. While the full details of such a

rating plan have not been worked out as of yet, any method that significantly relies on student test scores as a means for evaluation does not do the students of Detroit justice. It is important that any plan measures a student’s success using a holistic perspective and not simply their test scores. Such a rating system would also not directly account for physical conditions, which were ignored in the previous mechanics of evaluating Detroit schools.

Though some people may believe that DPS should simply declare bankruptcy, doing so would place the burden of DPS’ debt on the state, which is already in a less than excellent financial state, and is therefore not a financially viable option. In addition to these challenges, the bankruptcy of DPS would likely not allow DCSD to enter into existence with a clean slate dedicated to the betterment of the education of Detroit students.

Among all the debate, it is also important to remember that swift action is necessary.

It is likely that even with emergency funding DPS will run out of money by early the end of this school year, leaving 47,000 students without schools. The Senate plan is the right choice for now. But even if all plans run smoothly and DCSD comes to fruition in time to aid the students of Detroit, efforts will need to continue in order to ensure Detroit’s school system not only remains intact, but also delivers to students the education they’re entitled to.

EDITORIAL BOARD MEMBERS

Claire Bryan, Regan Detwiler, Caitlin Heenan, Jeremy Kaplan, Ben Keller, Minsoo Kim, Payton Luokkala, Kit Maher, Madeline Nowicki, Anna Polumbo-Levy, Jason Rowland, Lauren Schandevel, Melissa Scholke, Kevin Sweitzer, Rebecca Tarnopol, Ashley Tjhung, Stephanie Trierweiler, Hunter Zhao DAN PARK

E-mail Dan at dancp@umich.edu

C

HARLIEEEE! That’s why you ain’t got no teeth; your teeth ran away cause you talk so dang on much.” The room erupts with laughter and snickers from a group of 20 men, one woman and one child.

Charlie is a frequent visitor to the ALEXIS Capuchin FARMER Soup Kitchen in Detroit; the staff and other Capuchin guests know his charismatic personality well. The checkered floor was worn with scuff marks, and the air smelled of the stir-fry served for lunch that day. As the laughter gently subsided, more visitors trickled into the doorway, awaiting the meal provided for them.

11 a.m.: The volunteers of Capuchin Soup Kitchen are diverse in gender, race and age.

I went to volunteer with Circle K on its annual day of service.

I was the only native Detroiter and the only Black person of the group. Before we began serving food, we were escorted to a room where we met one of the founders of the soup kitchen. He showed us a video about the history of Capuchin and its purpose — the soup kitchen has been in Detroit since 1929, at the beginning of the Great Depression when national poverty cloaked the United States.

Detroit was not immune to the social ills of the Great Depression.

The friars of Capuchin Province of St. Joseph used their ministry on Mt. Elliott Street to feed those who needed a meal. Since its creation, Capuchin has expanded its programs to include substance abuse counseling, employment opportunities for people who were formerly incarcerated and an organic farm to redevelop Detroit’s food system. I chose to work with Capuchin this service day because I was familiar with Earthworks and the On the Rise Bakery, which are also Capuchin programs, but I wanted to learn more about the soup kitchen.

11:30 a.m.: At least a dozen g uests have come through the lunch line since lunch began, some with faint smiles, others not making eye contact and a few with large grins. I ask each of them how they are, which seems like both the politest question to ask, but also the most trivial. For the brief 20-second interaction, how could I gauge their sense of well-being? Why would they care to share that information with me?

The impersonal engagement of serving lunch made the physical lunch line that divided us more defined. I had hoped our commonalities as Black Detroiters would dilute

ERIN JOHNSON | OP-ED

W

the physical barrier of the lunch line that divided the privileged and the marginalized, but the systemic implications of classism were impossible to ignore.

The video that the volunteers and I watched before our shift described how the need for soup kitchen in Mt. Elliott community arose. I had to think about insufficient access to food, poverty and homelessness that has plag ued the Mt. Elliott community for decades, and how Capuchin is meeting a need that public policy has neglected. That video complicated my presence at Capuchin. I was able to insert myself into this space for a mere three hours and then resume my life. And the g uests of Capuchin?

Well, who knows? The soup kitchen and the volunteers for that meal are a small fraction of their day. We were supposed to be there to help, and yet I felt so helpless, because I knew I didn’t solve anything.

Of all the service learning organizations on campus, how many provoke a discussion about the roots of the systemic issues community-service acts as a BandAid for? Or a reflection about how identity impacts the service we engage in and communities we seek to serve? What message does it send when one of the University’s premier service organizations, the Detroit Partnership, does not have one member from the city of Detroit on its executive board and the majority of its service opportunities are in Detroit?

Without having a personal connection with a community, how can a person work with community members in an authentic manner that actually benefits the community?

If a person does not know the landscape of a community — familiarity with the work that is being done or the specific institutional barriers that allow for community service to exist — and a person’s privileges working with a community go unchecked, how can someone avoid participating in imperialistic charity work? How can you build sustainable models of service that foster a maintainable partnership with student and communityled organizations? None of these things can happen without consistent, intentional reflection before and after the communityservice activity takes place.

A space for reflection is critical, especially when so many community service organizations at the University concentrate the majority of their work in Detroit.

Engaging in service work in Detroit can be a learning experience for University of Michigan students, if done correctly. But even the thought of service being a learning experience privileges education on the plight of people who have been systematically franchised.

Who is community service really

benefiting then?

A number of communityservice organizations and socialservice agencies exist in the city of Detroit. University students can support the organizations that Detroiters have initiated themselves, rather than overlapping services. More often than not, service organizations at the University receive conflated attention in their efforts to “restore” Detroit, without acknowledging or uplifting the organizations already present in the Detroit community who sustain the work that community organizations involve themselves in for brief periods of time.

As Mama Hanifa Adjuman from the Detroit Black Community Food Security Network stated during a recent panel on food and racial justice, “What we welcome (are) allies; we (don’t) need white missionaries.”

Students need to address their biases, privileges, perceptions and motivations before working with communities.

Presently at the University, it is far too easy for community service to become charity work, perpetuating systems of inequality instead of addressing or even acknowledging the roots of the problems. The Ginsberg Center is an example of an underutilized University resource that could alleviate problematic participation in service. My favorite aspect of Ginsberg is its monthly ref lection sessions on engaging in service, and how that service intersects with social justice, social change and identity.

I would be in favor of mandating members of campus service organizations attend at least one of these sessions.

The Ginsberg Center is the only space on campus that challenges students to ref lect on their personal engagement with service, a great example of this being the center’s Check Yourself Community Engagement Checklist provides a fantastic framework for student organizations to structure service ref lections.

Both communities in need and those providing a service can gain from community service in tangible ways if earnest ref lection and genuine interaction are fostered. As active citizens and aspiring public servants, it is imperative that students interact with communities intentionally to gain civic mindfulness. When I return to work with Capuchin, I hope the volunteers and I can interact with Charlie and the other visitors of the soup kitchen in a way in which we equally contribute to and benefit from a meaningful service experience.

— Alexis Farmer can be reached at akfarmer@umich.edu.

Why not you?

hat comes to mind when you hear “social innovation?” Is it entrepreneurship? Technolog y?

Big ideas? When I hear “social innovation,” I think optiMize.

I think unit y, trust, family and communit y — the real things that will inspire people to change the world.

I had one of the hardest days of my life this year. Fortunately, it was a Sunday: the day we always have our optiMize Core Team meetings. I almost suggested cancelling the meeting, unsure if I would be able to avoid crying while reading through the weekly updates. The meeting went on anyway, and, of course, I cried while reading through the weekly updates. The meeting ended, but nobody left. They sat with me; they wanted to know more, learn more and do more.

When I did go home, I received an inf lux of texts, e-mails, Google invites for coffee dates, offers to just sit with me quietly — all from my optiMize family.

You don’t f ind that in many places — that self lessness. It’s diff icult to f ind a communit y of people who are determined to make a difference, no matter how simple or seemingly small that difference may be. The optiMize communit y shares one collective purpose: to make the

world a better place. It doesn’t matter if you’re supporting someone in their time of need or doing g roundbreaking entrepreneurship work.

Ever y thing optiMize stands for can be seen in the daily actions of our communit y members. The love, understanding, empathy and support that was shown to me on that day may have seemed amplif ied at that moment, but this was not a sing ular moment.

This was optiMize. Those intang ible, positive elements that resonate from the actions of ever yone in the communit y are what will drive change in this world.

The central mission of optiMize is to create positive action by replacing the phrase, “Somebody should do something about that,” with “Why not me?”

The teams in our Social Innovation Challenge have fused their intangible, positive elements with optiMize’s mission to inspire the impact we want to see. We have a team combatting Islamophobia by creating thought-provoking artwork, while another is creating virtual reality games for children with disabilities and another is working with Kenyan farmers to create a sustainable fish feed. And that’s just the beginning. Members

of the optiMize community are building their ideas from the ground up, and from the ground up they are aiding in making this world more just, more sustainable and just plain better.

For me, optiMize has served as an active reminder to seek out change wherever change may be necessary. It’s a contagious environment — you discover optiMize, you meet inspiring people who embrace the ability to question and transform, and then, without hesitation, you begin. That’s all it takes — just ask yourself, “Why not me?”

The optiMize Social Innovation Challenge Final Showcase is on April 13 from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. in the Lydia Mendelssohn Theatre at the Michigan Leag ue. This event will feature 10 teams from optiMize’s 2016 Challenge, a seven-month-long program that comprises workshops and mentorship opportunities, allowing hundreds of students to turn their ideas for social change into reality. optiMize awards more than $150,000 in funding and summer fellowships, which allows teams to continue working on their startups all summer long.

— Erin Johnson is the president of optiMize. .

Sports

The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

Thursday, March 31, 2016 — 5A

More than a game for Halle Wangler Senior leaves Michigan with few statistics but a major impact

the fall of 2011.

It wasn’t Michigan, but she didn’t want to experience life without basketball. ***

By BRAD WHIPPLE Daily Sports Editor

In three years, Halle Wangler has played just 20 minutes while donning a Michigan uniform, but she’s content with that.

In 18 games, the fifth-year senior guard has scored only one basket for the Wolverines, but that doesn’t matter to her. She wouldn’t want to be remembered for how many points she scored anyway.

What matters to her is being remembered for how she made people feel.

“I’m a very loud and energetic person,” Wangler said. “That kind of shows (other players) that it’s not just work. It’s just having enthusiasm, love and passion that you show through your work ethic or just being on the court and what you do.”

The road to Michigan was by no means an easy one for Wangler. But for her, basketball is therapeutic. It has always been an outlet for her to escape daily life, and having that opportunity with the Wolverines is one she has dreamt of as long as she can remember.

Michigan has rooted itself deeply into the Wangler family for the past half-century, and it’s why Halle felt like it was the right place to be. Her father, John, played quarterback from 1976 to 1980, and now her brothers play under that same banner.

While her father and brothers are bound to the gridiron, Halle found a place of her own — the hardwood of Crisler Center. It was almost by a stroke of luck that Wangler ended up playing at Michigan under fourth-year coach Kim Barnes Arico, but luck doesn’t explain it all. *** If football in Ann Arbor is a religion, Wangler never skipped church. As a kid, the Royal Oak, Mich., native always went to games with her family, and John’s connections to the program allowed his daughter to meet his former teammates at the alumni tent outside the Big House.

Wangler also met her father’s former coach, Bo Schembechler, who held her at football games and regularly spoke with the Wangler family.

At home, Halle’s grandparents went “the whole nine yards” and have decked out their Christmas tree in maize and blue since the ’70s. According to John, they truly “force-fed” the Michigan tradition to the Wangler children.

“Growing up, it surrounds you,” Halle said. “It becomes a part of who you are.”

Oddly enough, though, Wangler had the Michigan State bug up until her early teens.

In her green and white phase, Wangler had a signed photo of Michigan State men’s basketball coach Tom Izzo as well as an autographed basketball in her room. By chance, she played for an AAU team called the Spartans alongside current Michigan State forward Aerial Powers.

Eventually, Wangler came to the conclusion that Michigan was where she was meant to be. In a household built around the block ‘M’, it was almost inevitable.

“It was a battle, a tug of war for her affections,” John said. “In the end, she came to her senses.” *** John Wangler never wanted to push his kids into athletics.

If they gravitated toward them, he’d do everything in his power to help them be successful. But at the end of the day, he just wanted them to do whatever they were passionate about.

Jack and Jared ultimately picked football and now have spots on the Michigan roster as a wide receiver and linebacker, respectively. Sierra is now a freshman at the University, but isn’t involved in collegiate athletics.

For Halle, having a basketball in her hands just felt right.

“There’s nothing worse than if

DELANEY RYAN/Daily

Senior Halle Wangler has played sparingly since transferring from Oakland, but she’ll leave a legacy in the women’s basketball program with the character she showed.

your parent wants it more than the child does,” John said. “That was never the case. I’m happy with my career and enjoyed every second of it. I don’t have to live through my kids.”

According to John, “genes and ability can only take you so far” in athletics. To him, the number one thing he needed to instill in his kids was a work ethic. If the four Wanglers could put the time in and be willing to work at something, they were going to be great at it.

Once a Michigan quarterback under Schembechler, John knew exactly what it took to be great.

After John worked his way to the top of Michigan’s depth chart, future NFL Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor sacked him in the 1979 Gator Bowl, rupturing two cross ligaments in his knee and sending him on a long journey toward recovery.

John returned for a fifth year once his knee healed, but being less than 100 percent made him so frustrated that he considered quitting the team. At one practice, he wasn’t playing well and Schembechler told him he was the “dumbest quarterback in the history of intercollegiate football,” to which John replied, “That’s a long time, coach.”

Given John’s arduous recovery, Schembechler knew the worst possible punishment and kicked him out of practice. But that, coupled with a major tongue-lashing in Schembechler’s office the next day, didn’t stop Wangler from fighting his way back to the top.

That year, the top was leading Michigan to a 1981 Rose Bowl victory in Pasadena, Calif.

Twenty-five years later, when Halle — then a seventh grader — had a bad game, she didn’t get a “good job” from her father.

Instead, he cut right to the chase.

“You’ll be an average player,” John told her, the same way Schembechler would have told him.

“Average” wasn’t in her father’s vocabulary, which made the comment even more hurtful. But Halle knew she didn’t want to be average. She didn’t want her dad to utter the word again.

That night, Halle went to the backyard and started dribbling.

“If you hang in there, do what you’re supposed do, you keep your nose down and you stay focused,” John said, “somehow you end up coming out on top and end up coming out of the pack.

“It’s not some crazy theory or philosophy. It’s kind of a way of life.”

Whether it was a crazy philosophy or not, it was exactly what his daughter needed to hear years later when she considered quitting basketball. *** During Wangler’s freshman year of high school, her mom passed away.

“That had a very, very hard impact on the kids,” John said.

“That’s a tough thing that no one should have to deal with, and (my kids have) come through it and battled through it. There’s always

setbacks. Everybody gets knocked down, and it’s how you get back up. That’s how you’re judged.”

For an overwhelmed Halle, throwing in the towel on basketball seemed like a highly viable option.

Her father thought differently.

He told her she needed to feel it out for one more game.

If she gave it her best effort and played like it was her last game, she could make a decision.

In that one game, Wangler had a good enough performance to realize basketball was something she needed. She couldn’t afford to give it up.

“I forgot about all the stuff that was going on at home and elsewhere,” Wangler said. “My freshman year is when I realized I can overcome anything that’s thrown my way.

“Basketball was more than just

a sport. It was therapeutic for me. It was my thing, (and) it has helped me get through a lot, too.”

In high school at Royal Oak Shrine, Wangler attended both the boys and girls’ varsity basketball practices.

Outside regular practice hours, John or Shrine women’s basketball coach Bill LeGault would open up the gym for her whenever she wanted. Early in the morning or late at night, Wangler dribbled alone in a dedication to prove her internal strength. Even at home, she’d play pick-up games against her brothers.

John saw his daughter was obsessed with getting better, obsessed with proving herself. For Halle, that meant playing collegiate basketball — something that wasn’t average.

“She threw herself into

“I forgot about all the stuff that was going on at home and elsewhere.”

basketball,” John said. “Even when her mother passed, I think that was her outlet. She really put herself into it, and that really was what took her mind off all the hardship. I think it really was a outlet for her and a release.”

During her early years, Wangler recalled conversations she had with Schembechler as well as the stories she has heard about Michigan’s revered coach through her father. One of Schembechler’s teachings stood out the most: perseverance. “(Bo) really knew how to push you to the point where you didn’t think you’d make it, but then you made it and became great,” Halle said. “Perseverance is something that my dad learned from Bo, because at one point, he didn’t even think he was going to be able to play football ever again.”

Wangler didn’t think she would play basketball either, but in her junior year at Shrine, she was offered a basketball scholarship from Oakland University. She accepted right away and headed to Oakland in

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ACROSS 1 Library recess 7 Brief amt. of time 11 Karaoke need, briefly 14 Slanted 15 With 34-Across, concert band instrument 16 Big fuss 17 Parody involving molten rock?

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In June 2013, Oakland women’s basketball coach Beckie Francis was fired. A month later, the Detroit Free Press released a report in which 15 former players stated Francis had “fixated on their weights … pushed her religious beliefs … (and) engaged in intimidation and emotional abuse.” With the program shrouded in controversy, Wangler decided it was time to transfer.

Wangler had worked hard to make it to the collegiate level, and that progress was at stake.

The first obvious choice was Michigan, which combined academics, basketball and family tradition all into one. The Wolverines didn’t take many walk-ons, so her father called in a favor to Michigan men’s basketball coach John Beilein, whose son Mark had previously worked for him.

Beilein briefed Barnes Arico on what Michigan meant to the Wanglers, and what the Wanglers meant to Michigan.

It was a shot in the dark for Halle, but when Barnes Arico finally met her, she knew she had discovered something unique.

“The minute I had an opportunity to meet Halle, I knew that I wanted her on our team,” Barnes Arico said. “Her enthusiasm, her passion, her zest for life was something I wanted our team to be around.”

Added Wangler: “I feel like God puts you where you’re meant to be at certain times in your life.

I think that my time in Oakland was supposed to be then, and then he put me here.”

The first week of Michigan practice was excruciating for Wangler, and all she could do was laugh.

Oakland’s conditioning didn’t nearly compare to Michigan’s.

From day one, the reality set in: Welcome to the Big Ten.

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Sports

6A — Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

Sheppard starts on new path Michigan set for WOMEN’S BASKETBALL

By LANEY BYLER Daily Sports Writer

Four years ago, Austin Sheppard stepped onto Michigan’s campus as a freshman majoring in movement science, hell-bent on becoming an orthopedic surgeon.

Even in high school, Sheppard knew she wanted to pursue a degree in the medical field — but had no idea where she wanted to go to college. Originally from Murphy, Texas, Sheppard was a well-accomplished gymnast as a sophomore at Plano East High School. She garnered three prominent finishes at the 2010 Junior Olympic National Championships, placing second on floor, third on vault and seventh in the all-around.

And with a record like that, she caught the eye of Michigan.

The Wolverines started recruiting Sheppard her sophomore year. After a little encouragement from her mother to check the school out, she decided she wanted to pursue a higher education at Michigan.

Sheppard committed her junior year of high school, ready to get going when she walked on campus as a freshman.

Now, after four years and one change in career plans, Sheppard not only has maintained her reputation as a successful gymnast, but also hasn’t abandoned her determination to work in the medical field. With such a long-term commitment required to become a doctor, Sheppard made the decision to switch her goals to nursing.

“I wanted to major in movement science because I wanted to be an orthopedic surgeon,” Sheppard said. “But then when I got here, I realized how much of a demand for school that was and how much athletics would be on top of that.

For me, I just figured it wasn’t the route I wanted to go. I still want to do something in medicine, though. I want to go into nursing.”

Balancing a pre-med track and Big Ten athletics certainly

hasn’t been easy, but Sheppard has managed to do it with great success.

Despite being sidelined the end of her sophomore year due to injury and being limited to two events, Sheppard was recently named to the All-Big Ten first team for the second time in her career. She was also on the AllBig Ten Championships Team in 2014 and recently received Academic All-Big Ten honors for the third time in her career — a clear indication that she is pairing her education and her success in gymnastics.

“I’ve always had a passion for how the body works,” Sheppard said. “Being a gymnast, I’ve had a lot of injuries and I’ve been around a lot doctors. I like seeing people succeed after being hurt or sick, and I’ve just always had a passion for it, which is why I decided to become a health and fitness major.”

Not only is Sheppard dominating in the gym, but she is also projected to be one of the first four student-athletes to graduate from Michigan with a degree in health and fitness. The degree is fairly new to the School of Kinesiology (around 2013), and combines a wide range of topics like sport management and anatomy and physiology.

While Sheppard plans to apply to nursing school after she graduates to continue on her medical path, the degree is flexible since it has a foot in both science and business.

“You get the best of both worlds,” Sheppard said. “If someone were to go the athletic director route, this would be really great for that because you have a bunch of history behind sports and you also learn about the marketing and ethics side of business. It’s also good for if you want to be a personal trainer or a strength and conditioning coach.”

And while neither of these career paths apply to Sheppard, she’s positive that she’s picked the right major. With the program offering real-life

WNIT semifinal

By LELAND MITCHINSON Daily Sports Writer

LUNA ANNA ARCHEY/Daily

Senior Austin Sheppard is one of the first athletes to major in health and fitness.

learning opportunities through classes and programs, Sheppard has been able to shadow in the midwife section at the University of Michigan Hospital.

She said she enjoyed her time shadowing at the hospital, but Sheppard really lit up when talking about her experience working with children with disabilities at Ann Arbor Pioneer High School.

“I took a pediatric disabilities class, so we learned all about a bunch of disabilities with children and just people in general,” Sheppard said. “One of the assignments was that we had to volunteer at the high school or a sporting event with kids with disabilities. I learned so much about them and I also learned a lot about myself. I just really appreciated them because they were so committed and determined.”

With her gymnastics career winding down and her medical career just getting started, Sheppard has worked hard at combining both aspects of her life to make her Michigan experience as beneficial as possible. On one

hand, her degree has enabled her with all of the right experiences to continue with her education.

On the other hand, her final NCAA Regional Tournament as a Wolverine is this weekend, and she couldn’t be more focused on contributing everything she has to her team. Anyone on the sidelines might believe that Sheppard’s life in the classroom is separate from her life in the gym.

But for Sheppard, they’re both connected.

“The four years I’ve been here, there’s been people that come and go because they graduate,” Sheppard said. “You have to learn how to work with them and bond with them, and it’s made me a better person to be able to work with a team, because that’s really important for a nurse to be able to do that.”

Sheppard has left her mark on Michigan history, in the gym and in the classroom. Now, equipped with the qualities she has learned from her team and from her education, she will seek to match that success in whatever realm the future may hold for her.

Throughout the WNIT, the Michigan women’s basketball team has gotten a lift from the support of its fans. Each of the team’s first four tournament games have Michigan been played at FCGU at Crisler Center, and Matchup: Michigan 21-13; the Wolverines FGCU 32-5 have won three of those games When: Thursday 8 P.M. by 20 or more Where: Alico points.

Arena Thursday, the Wolverines TV/Radio: will take their ESPN3 high-powered offense on the road, looking to advance to the WNIT championship game with a win over Florida Gulf Coast (325). Michigan (22-13) reached the semifinals last year as well, but the Wolverines fell short, losing to UCLA, 69-65.

“We’re very well-rested compared to a lot of other teams,” Flaherty said. “We’ve (gotten) to stay at home. We’ve (gotten) to practice here. I think that’s a huge advantage. We have to bring our intensity there, our tenacity there.”

The game in Fort Myers, Fla., will be a battle of strengths.

Michigan comes into the game averaging 79.1 points, while the Eagles limit their opponents to an average of just 49.1 points behind guard Whitney Knight’s 61 steals and 87 blocks on the season.

Offensively, Florida Gulf Coast is led by guards Kaneisha Atwater and Knight, who average 14.2 and 13.4 points per game, respectively.

Madison Ristovski, Katelynn Flaherty, Hallie Thome and Siera Thompson are all averaging double-digit scoring for the Wolverines this postseason, and teams haven’t

had an answer for Michigan’s variety of scoring threats.

Despite its offensive success, Michigan may run into a matchup problem against the Eagles, who are 18-3 at home this season.

“They’re a great team at home,” said Michigan coach Kim Barnes Arico after Monday’s game. “They play five guards. It’s going to be really tough for (Thome) to play. But it was a similar matchup tonight.

She had a really hard matchup.

They shoot the 3 like crazy, so it’s a different kind of style.”

Though Knight is listed at 6-foot-3 and is the tallest player on the Florida Gulf Coast roster by four inches, she plays on the perimeter. Beyond Knight, the Eagles have no players taller than 5-foot-11. Thome would likely have an advantageous matchup on the offensive end and in the rebounding department, but she will struggle with the Eagles’ quickness when defending.

Thome heads into the semifinal contest just four points away from becoming the second freshman in program history to score 500 points in a season, and her performance will be a key for the Wolverines.

Michigan is heading into Thursday’s game riding a wave of momentum off a come-frombehind victory over Temple in the WNIT quarterfinals. After falling behind by 15 in the first quarter, the Wolverines mounted a second-half push led by Ristovski and Flaherty and held on for the 77-76 win.

The tournament run for Florida Gulf Coast has also come entirely in front of a home crowd. The Eagles have won each of their four WNIT games by double digits, and took down Hofstra, 61-46, Monday in their quarterfinal matchup.

If Michigan wants a chance to finally bring a banner to Crisler Center, the road goes through hostile territory.

s ’ l o o F l i r p A

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TV REVIEW

FILM REVIEW

Worst ‘Sisters’ ever

By DANIELLE YACOBSON Daily Arts Writer

SUBMARINE ENTERTAINMENT PRODUCTION

Let’s do it, ride it, my pony.

Peggy: Art addict

By REBECCA LERNER Daily Film Editor

In the exclusive circles of the art world, Peggy Guggenheim is infamous.

A patron B+ for some of the most Peggy accomGuggenheim: plished artists of the Art Addict 20th century, today she Submarine Entertainment is known for her Production adventurous Michigan Theater sex life and her lifelong devotion to modern art before it was cool.

But “Peggy Guggenheim: Art Addict” describes, in no uncertain terms, the person behind the heiress to the Guggenheim fortune. Director Lisa Immordino Vreeland, granddaughter-in-law of Diana Vreeland, dives as deep as she can into the intricacies and eccentricities of Guggenheim’s life. However, when dealing with a subject as insecure and, frankly, strange as Guggenheim, it is impossible to get what feels like the full story.

Framed around the audio recordings of an interview with Guggenheim herself during the last year of her life in 1979, the film allows her to speak for herself. But I couldn’t imagine a woman like Guggenheim would let anyone else talk for her. Describing herself as both a nymphomaniac and an art addict, she name drops her various cliques of lovers and artists with casual ease and humor.

The talking heads, including surprising figures such as Robert

De Niro and art critic John Richardson, only add to this carefully drawn portrait of Guggenheim.

Told in chronological order and divided into the different emotional passages of her life, the film describes how Guggenheim has always been “the wayward Guggenheim” — the black sheep of a prestigious family that was the equivalent of American nobility.

After her father died going down in the Titanic, she was left with 450,000 dollars. While this may seem substantial for a teenager, it was a meager allowance for a Guggenheim.

She moved to Paris and opened her first gallery on a whim, deciding that a gallery would be less expensive than a publishing company. In the very nonchalant way to which the viewer must very quickly adjust, Guggenheim affirms that she couldn’t have opened the gallery if her (mother) hadn’t died. Though Guggenheim routinely discusses incredibly sad topics in the film, including the suicide of her daughter, her multiple divorces and the botched nose job that led to her lifelong insecurity in her appearance, she never quite varies from the same posh voice with which she addresses everything.

Guggenheim was revolutionary in so many ways. After opening her gallery in Paris right before World War II broke out and Hitler invaded France, she waited until the last second to move back to America to continue her work.

There’s a fantastic line when her interviewer asks her, “You realize you could have been sent to a concentration camp?” and she responds, “Of course!” in her offhand and erratic manner.

Guggenheim is all at once naïve and sophisticated, intimidatingly smart and alarmingly foolish.

She’s described as not particularly beautiful, but incredibly charismatic and sexual. We see this in every portrait of her and every word that she says — she’s an alluring compilation of contradictions, impossible to tear our ears and eyes from.

After the Nazi invasion, she opened a gallery in New York called Art of This Century. It was here that she became truly known in the U.S. for her avant-garde lifestyle and artistic choices. She opened the exhibit 31 Women, one of the only spaces for female expression in the patriarchal art world. After tiring of New York, she moved to Venice, and her home-turned-art-museum has since become one of the world’s most popular spaces for modern art.

Watching the film feels like opening a scrapbook. The lively colors of the b-roll under the audio of Guggenheim’s interview are reminiscent of the art that she worked so hard to present. The opening titles are splattered with Pollack-esque paint, and the rest of the film seems like a collage pasted together by a modern artist that we should know, but don’t.

The film inspired so many questions in me. It made me want to learn about the artists that Guggenheim loved and was loved by; it made me want to ask about the types of art that people are making right now, the kind that would excite the artists I’d just learned about. But one question really stuck with me as I walked out of the theater: am I in love with Peggy Guggenheim?

MUSIC VIDEO REVIEW “NO,” Meghan Trainor’s ultra-catchy, tell-em-how-it-is dance floor jam had me Cthinking I could like NO Trainor.

The track’s Meghan accomTrainor panying music video reminds me why I don’t.

Nothing seems to add up and everything feels off, at best. The static that opens the video isn’t in tune with the song’s vibe and the opening lyrics play as Trainor’s black boots walk across a

dark sidewalk, leading to the drop of the chorus as Trainor and dancers come together to pump out their routine.

Set in an urban basement, Trainor’s club vibes are lost in the emptiness. The exclusion of male dancers / extras is understandable; “NO” is for the girls. However, in cutting the dance floor along with its male-counterparts, the video only leaves viewers wondering why Trainor and Co. are alone in this basement — a stark contrast to the song’s infectious energy.

Fresh off a Best New Artist Grammy win, Trainor has

released a single that’s, well, actually good. The same cannot be said for the video. Poor dance skills aside, the few moments of magic occur when the song and Trainor’s personality are favored over the idea of a tightly choreographed pop video. The video finds its groove in a series of shots featuring Trainor in a black mesh top, sitting around with her friends serving up some serious sass to the camera, but other than that it feels like rehearsal for a better video.

P.S. Keep the red hair. Burn that silver coat.

- CHRISTIAN KENNEDY

EPISODE REVIEW On the heels of “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice,” CBS’s “Supergirl” is surging ahead in ratings with its own take on the superhero crossover genre.

ABreaking through Supergirl network Season 1, walls, The Episode 18 CW teams up with CBS to Mondays bring Barry at 8 p.m.

Allen (Grant CBS Gustin, “Glee”) into National City with a running start. Over the past season, “Supergirl” and “The Flash” have been relatively successful among the millennial fanbase. The newest episode of “Supergirl,” “World’s Finest,” earned a 21-percent overall rise in viewers, though the fate of “Supergirl” is yet to be

revealed.

Over the two-season run of “The Flash,” we’ve been privy to two crossover events with The CW’s prodigal son, “Arrow.” These teamups, much like “Batman v Superman,” brought the violence, while “World’s Finest” is all lollipops and rainbows — a well-overdue break from the violence surrounding the DC Comics community as of late. The episode explores the “theory of the multiverse,” one of DC’s most popular and attentive elements that has only recently been touched on in “The Flash.” Although they (literally) come from different universes, Barry and Kara (Melissa Benoist, “Glee”) easily find a rhythm, eventually working together, as opposed to the usual herosidekick dynamic, even if Barry does unintentionally

play wingman for a while.

The transformation of Siobhan Smythe (Italia Ricci, “Chasing Life”) into the Silver Banshee, a moment that might have been epic, is slightly undermined by the Flash’s unexpected arrival, and it may have been more effective in a later episode. But you can’t argue with the off beat humor that accompanies Barry to this Earth. Along with the fact that he brought ice cream.

Looking at the episode as a whole, “World’s Finest” is an exposé of everything that separates the worlds of “Supergirl” and “The Flash” from DC’s darker corners.

Adding in the wonderfully adorable and singular chemistry between Gustin and Benoist, this episode has bumped “Batman v Superman” and “Flash vs. Arrow” straight to the curbs of Gotham.

- MEGAN MITCHELL

Numb and raw, a single thought consumed me as Thursday night’s premiere of “Sisters in Law” came to an end: I F just wasted 45 minutes of Sisters my life that I would never in Law get back.

The premise WE TV of the show Thursdays has some at 10 p.m. potential; it documents the careers of five Black, female attorneys in Houston as they navigate through their professional field. A look into the lives of high-powered, minority women kicking ass in a wellrespected profession would be a welcome addition to television, a positive change of pace from the usual mudslinging. Instead, WE TV created a series following the “Sisters” as they “juggle their families, busy careers, and even more demanding social calendars.” It becomes clear that the central struggle of the episode is how much food to order for a socialite fundraiser — and with that, it’s obvious that the show will make no real attempt to

explore the world’s injustices.

The series’ attempt at a clever title is the only true reference to the law at all. Perhaps it’s because disclosing confidential attorneyclient information is illegal. Still, instead of discussing their legal practices or firms, the women spend the majority of their screen time dissecting their love-hate relationships with each other.

However successful these women might be in their off-camera lives, their portrayal on screen is that of little intelligence, egotism and insincerity, completely eradicating any hope of a feminist portrayal of working professionals.

Since the premiere has virtually no insight into the legal system, the episode instead revolves around the backstabbing and finger-pointing that seems to be the foundation of all reality television. In fact, the series was filmed, produced and packaged exactly like an episode of “The Real Housewives.” It even has that awkward intro when each women smiles seductively at the camera as she shifts her weight from one stiletto to the other beside a block-letter projection of her name. From the artificial elevator music added to footage of individual interviews to the heavy hand of the producers’ editing, piecing together seg-

ments of conversations for dramatic effect, “Sister in Law” is significantly less entertaining and more depressing than most reality TV. Which is saying a lot.

At the episode’s climactic fundraiser, the group explodes into an emotionally assaulting debate on whether Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. One of the “Sisters” astutely noted, “It’s getting really ratchet.” Yes. Yes it is.

Enough with the catfighting, people! I don’t care if Jolanda is living proof that, “You can take the girl out of the hood, but you can’t take the hood out of the girl.” It’s about time that women stop ripping each other apart for entertaining television and stepping on each others’ backs to get ahead. Women who break through the glass ceiling shouldn’t be stabbing each other with the fallout of glass shards.

Watching “Sisters in Law” was a life-changing experience.

I might have enjoyed the occasional episode of “Dance Moms” or “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” relishing in the escapism of a world filled with drama that I will never actually get to see. But on the Thursday night that I watched “Sisters in Law,” I made a vow to never watch reality television again. I’ve wasted too much time already.

CONCERT REVIEW

Lean likes pizza, too

By SHAYAN SHAFII Daily Arts Writer

Last Friday night at the Populux in Detroit, I waited in line behind Yung Lean to order pizza.

Just like in his videos, he ordered iced tea in a thick Swedish accent, yet no one identified him besides a handful of kids in obviously fake Japanese streetwear. You’d think the turquoise hair would be a dead giveaway. He was understandably brief with everyone, but I managed to sneak in a quick dap and told him I looked forward to the show. The whole “Sad Boys” label is particularly hilarious after seeing them quietly avoid eye contact while eating pizza in Detroit.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Yung Lean is only 19 years old. He’s been in the public eye for so long, and undergone so many bizarre phases, that he’s now expected to communicate some sort of adulthood. When he burst onto the scene, it was his Nordic interpretation of Western hip-hop culture that caught everyone’s attention. His videos featured all of the choreography and movement of Chicago drill rap, but with white kids in Nike tech fleece. I can’t help but feel that their early obsession with Arizona Iced Tea had as much to do with the word “Arizona” as the vaporwave color palette on the cans.

Aging well was always going to be a test for him, though — how would he transition from kitschy nostalgia to making music that was actually about him? At what point would the N64 references go away? What does he actually have to say, anyway? I entered

the show almost certain that Yung Lean himself had basically expired.

Before his set, fans were treated to an hour of indiscernible wailing from Thaiboy Goon.

While the performance was largely forgettable, I admired his willingness to keep going when not a single person in the audience knew the words. One of my favorite parts of the entire show was when Thaiboy brought out Bladee, who wore an oversized Chucky shirt that went down to his knees. He kept doing this thing where he put his hands up to his temples and his eyes would roll into the back of his head. He might’ve been singing in Swedish for most of his set and no one would’ve known. I don’t know how much of this is for show, and how much is for real; they might actually just be this weird.

After the official Sad Boys Weed Carriers™ finished their set, Yung Lean himself stormed the stage performing “Hoover.”

All hell broke loose. I’ve been to some rowdy shows, but never have I been shoved into a subwoofer that the actual artist was performing on top of. There was a ten-minute period where my sole focus was just finding a way to stand upright. With my palms pushing back on the stage, and the force of ten dudes in Thrasher hoodies pressed against my back, I couldn’t help but wonder what GG Allin shows might have been like. People were being dragged out of the crowd left and right; there were actual screams of pain flying around the stage. Lean chuckled and said, “This is one of the craziest shows we’ve had. I love Detroit.”

The front row was a circus act about as entertaining as the show itself. A guy in a tie-dye hoodie turned to me and said in a deadpan drawl, “I’m on 12 hits of acid right now,” and he wasn’t smiling. A girl in a t-shirt covered in frownie faces reached as far as possible, yelling “Please Yung Lean! Just one touch!” There was a guy in a Windows ’95 sweater.

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

I noticed that Lean had a more noticeably punk sound when performing his newest album, Warlord. He’s definitely trying to transition into some sort of Scandinavian rockstar, but as a teenager who still watches Chief Keef videos. Like child actors who often get typecast into roles before they establish an identity, Lean’s fans have come to expect more of his early meme-rap.

With that said, the crowd was obviously more excited to hear Lean’s older and more playful work. Less than four years old, “Ginseng Strip 2002” already feels like an Internet-rap staple.

Everyone in the audience probably remembered where they were when they heard it for the first time. “Kyoto” had the entire crowd jumping and rapping in unison, though you could tell Lean has largely moved on from the faux-Japanese influence on his music.

When it was all over, the crowd slowly dispersed out of the Populux, mostly limping. As I reached the exit, a tattered can of Arizona Iced Tea caught my eye.

A small crowd quickly assembled around it to take pictures of the symbolic remnants, probably to post on Tumblr or something.

MUSIC VIDEO REVIEW If living in a world where YG makes a diss track about (serious) presidential candidate Donald Trump is wrong, I B don’t want to be right.

Love as a Nothing about any of Weapon this would seem realistic Little Scream in any rational realm of the imagination, yet here we are, on March 30, 2016, and this is a thing that happened.

It’s a thing that doesn’t totally suck. Both YG and fellow Los Angeles rapper Nipsey Hussle come in hot after an opening snippet from black Valdosta State University students who were removed from a Trump rally Feb. 29, and drop F bombs galore on

Trump. They ridicule his plan to build a Mexican-funded wall separating Mexico and the U.S., with Nip pleading “It wouldn’t be the U.S.A without Mexicans / And if it’s time to team up, shit, let’s begin / Black love, brown pride in the sets again / White people feel the same as my next to kin.” They find a way to reach their audience, whether the audience wants to take them seriously or not.

The only major perplexity of the song is due to its production.

The beat is eerily similar to that of “Twist My Fingaz,” a July 2015 single teasing his second studio album, in addition to a lot of YG’s other work. The funky bass, the playful drum machine, even the hints of piano—they’re all there. YG’s sound is super West Coast, but it seems lazy to

rely on nearly the exact same sound for two distinctively different songs.

It still goes, though; YG continues to be one of the easiest rappers to listen to, and more importantly, beyond the generic production are eloquently stated pleas campaigning for the good of this country (“I’m from a place where you prolly can’t go / Speakin’ for some people that you prolly ain’t know”).

The rappers aren’t alone in hoping what they describe as a “Comedy Central-ass n---a” doesn’t lead the country. Their attempt to make sure everybody knows this is a valiant one, if anything, and they manage to entertain using relevant flow. It’s essentially rap lobbying, and they do a damn good job of it.

- JOEY SCHUMAN

The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

the fool-side

Thursday, March 31, 2016 — 3B

Talk about UM’s ARTISTS secret fight club

By REBECCA LERNER and SOPHIA KAUFMAN

Daily Film Editor and Daily Arts Writer

By BEN ROSENSTOCK and NATALIE ZAK Senior Arts Editor and Daily Community Culture Editor

Editor’s Note: All names have been changed to vague character descriptions to protect the identity and privacy of all individuals who participated in these interviews.

Except Shelby. Shelby didn’t care.

In an independent bookstore popular among both students and locals, there exists an exclusive club unbeknownst to all but a select few students at the University of Michigan.

When they aren’t spending their days poring over the written works of Nietzsche and Rimbaud, Michigan’s most ardent anarchists gather in this off-campus location and prepare themselves for an evening of pure, unadulterated aggression.

Punches and kicks are thrown, blood runs rampant and casual conversation ensues amongst members every Sunday and Wednesday night after the sun sets and the streets clear.

This is the University’s Fight Club, an organization absent from the University’s MaizePages and governed by seven imperative rules: 1. You don’t talk about Fight Club.

2.

You DO NOT talk about Fight Club.

3. If someone says “stop,” taps out or decides to take a refreshing water break, the fight is over.

4. One fight at a time. There is limited space so we can’t destroy the premises or else we’ll have to go through the rounds of finding a new location. And we all know how long that took last time. I’m looking at you, Shelby.

5.

No shoes, no jewelry and no children under the age of 13.

6.

Fights will go on as long as they have to. Unless they last longer than five hours. No one wants to be here that long.

7. If this is your first time at Fight Club, you HAVE to fight. If it’s your second, then here, enjoy a blueberry scone.

The president of the club, like all of its members, only agreed to be interviewed on the condition that his identity remain anonymous. When asked about his year and major for this article, he referred to himself as both an LSA senior and a sophomore in the Stamps School of Art & Design.

“It’s kind of the first rule of Fight Club. You can’t talk about it,” Anonymous President said in an interview with The Michigan Daily.

So Daily Arts spoke to him about it. Having experienced a dramatic decline in membership over the past school year, Fight Club has been forced to abandon their holiest commandments in their desperation for fresh, unbloodied faces. As an organization completely independent from the University, membership is imperative.

“Every week, someone is in charge of snacks and someone else has to lead the recovery meditation and yoga session,” Anonymous Member with Nose Ring said, wiping the blood from his nose and reaching for a scone.

“We’re all about teamwork, seeing as we’re entirely selffunded.”

“We originally started organizing here because the owner was generous enough to provide refreshments at their one-of-a-kind cafe,” UnibrowSporting Anonymous Member added as she dodged a swing from an oncoming student, took a kick to the groin and went crashing to the floor.

The club was first invented by Anonymous President in the fall of 2012.

“I originally got the idea from a Chuck Palahniuk book,” he said.

“You should really check it out.

It’s called ‘Lullaby.’ ” Over the years, the University’s Fight Club has morphed and changed with its membership.

Beginning as a Pink Floyd cover band in Anonymous President’s father’s garage, the club initially included three other members besides A.P. himself: Anonymous Drummer, Anonymous Guitarist

and Anonymous Tambourinist.

“First, we were all about the music — it was electric,” Anonymous President said. “But when (Anonymous Guitarist) got electrocuted plugging in the amp one day, everything changed.

We’d never seen anything like it.

After that near-death experience, all we wanted to do was recreate that feeling of terror, of energy.”

It wasn’t until Anonymous Tambourinist took a swing at Anonymous Guitarist for suggesting that “maybe he should turn down his mic, and maybe take a few steps back, and then a few more” that the ragtag group of students realized what they were searching for — pure, unadulterated aggression.

And from there, it took off.

Four members soon became three after losing Anonymous Guitarist to the Ross School of Business, and for a moment the creators considered giving up. Then, membership began to soar.

“I’m still not completely sure how people found out about it, but people just started to show up to my dad’s house on Thursday nights,” Anonymous President said. “I think most of them were trying to get back to North Campus, but when they saw us beating each other up, they sort of just joined in.”

Hospital fees and eviction hit the fledgling group like a bombshell, however, and they were forced out onto the streets.

A picture of a dead body.

It was during this time that the bitterness started to creep up on the members, as the Ann Arbor Police Department repeatedly intervened in their fights in the middle of the Diag.

Officer Hoffman, a firsthand witness to the early meetings of the group, was reluctant to divulge information.

“It was a mess,” Hoffman said.

“They were gathering anywhere they could — the UGLi, the Diag, Meijer, the First United Methodist Church of Ann Arbor.

It was all we could do to get them off campus before they developed political stances.”

And develop political stances, they did.

Enraged by the “disrespect and dismissal” of the Ann Arbor Police Department, Division of Public Safety and Security and Neighborhood Watch, The Periwinkle Sandal (a name elected by early members of UMFC) took to the streets with their rage, painting pink circle-As all over Ann Arbor.

“It was meant to cause an outrage, but we messed up,” Anonymous Member with Sunglasses said, lying in a pool of his own blood. “The As were painted too closely together, and people just thought it was community pride. We accidentally created a brand.”

So they took to the basements, bars and ditches that would support their violent endeavors.

Their punches and kicks revealed the students’ pent-up rage that mostly stemmed from suspended bitterness toward roommates who “wouldn’t load their goddamn dishes,” as Anonymous Member with a Rope Braid Headband described.

“It’s not like I’m asking her to go to a river, stick it in and wash it with some leaves,” he said as Anonymous Member with Crackle Nail Polish understandingly wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “Just place it on a rack and close the door. It’s so simple, and I feel like if she can’t respect her coffee mugs, how will she ever respect me as a long-term partner in this relationship?”

“Over the years, our mission statement has definitely evolved,” Anonymous Member with Crackle Nail Polish said.

“Therapy plays a larger part than it did before. Adrenaline was the focus when it first formed, but as years progressed, a couple heroin

addictions caused the dismissal of certain members and — let’s say we found a new direction.”

Initially an all-male group in the early years, UMFC strove for and achieved gender inclusivity with this new direction. Rules that were originally scrawled on two broken tombstones found in the Bob and Betty Beyster Building by one of the members were finally revisited and thought about in a broader, more politically correct context.

“Originally it was ‘No shirt, no shoes’ but, for obvious reasons, we changed it to ‘No shoes, no jewelry,’” Anonymous Member with Crackle Nail Polish said.

“People kept bringing barbed wire and calling it jewelry.

There’s only so many tetanus shots we can afford to cover.”

Another issue came when Shelby, an LSA junior, brought her 8-year-old brother Joshua to one of the meetings.

“Of course we weren’t going to say anything to her face — her parents are going through a rough divorce,” Anonymous Member with Crackle Nail Polish said.

“The little guy came and watched the whole meeting, and when he just loved it we were all a little relieved. But then, the next week was Festifall, and that’s when shit went down.”

“Festifall 2014,” Anonymous President said. “Boy, was that a day. I remember walking through the Diag — I’d just picked up a flyer for a great new yoga club — and seeing, right by Mason Hall, a booth. Can you believe it? Shelby had actually set up a booth to advertise the club, and her brother Josh created all these adorable posters with all this ClipArt blood and a picture of a dead body.”

“After that, we slipped ‘no children under the age of 13’ into the bylaws,” Anonymous Member with Crackle Nail Polish said. “Of course, Shelby was also removed from the group, and we worked out with Central Student Government that Josh will never be allowed to attend the University. We can’t have people violating the bylaws.”

Since the kerfuffle with CSG, members of UMFC have become more disillusioned about the idea of a central government in general, even advocating for anarchy all together. When asked about their political leanings in the 2016 presidential election, most members of UMFC declined to answer.

“You’re missing the whole point if you’re expecting us to endorse one candidate over another,” Anonymous President said. “That said, if we had to pick one, it’d be Bernie.”

Anarchy, socialism, avantgarde therapy and violence — UMFC embraces it all.

“Society has a stigma on violence and constantly presents it in a bad light,” Anonymous Member with a Rope Braid Headband said. “We’re all about flipping it around, taking a sociological perspective and making people realize, ‘Hey, I could use a safe space to let out my anger at my ineffective GSI, and also integrals.’”

In pursuit of transcendence and survival, the members of UMFC have abandoned the club’s ancient rules requiring strict privacy in hopes of saving it.

While certain legalities prevent UMFC from being considered a student organization, by opening up their doors to the public, they hope to be greeted with an understanding and enthusiastic student population, one that accepts their unique therapeutic rituals for what they are and even provides first aid assistance in emergencies.

“Violence is a turn-off for some people,” Anonymous President said. “Most people, in fact. But we’re looking for that 1 percent that finds it intriguing. After all, Greek life freely exists on campus, so why can’t we?”

Editor’s note: This is part of an April Fool’s parody B-Side issue.

All events and individuals depicted are fictional (to the best of our knowledge). But seriously, Shelby sucks.

“I mean, what can I say? It’s all in the name — everything we want to communicate to our audience, to you, we put into the name,” guitarist Eric Goldman said while drinking his triple shot of espresso, grimacing with every sip.

The name in question is “Pussy Beacon,” and it refers to the Ann Arbor-based indie boy band taking the University of Michigan by storm. After meeting and becoming fast friends in a residential dorm freshman year, the five LSA juniors and comp lit majors of Pussy Beacon realized they had more in common than location.

“It’s actually a really, really, really funny story,” drummer Pat Alcheri said. “We were all living in West Quad, and we realized that we all played instruments.”

Lead vocalist Tom Arizona, formerly Tom Stein before a legal name change, cut him off.

He said, “And then we realized that we all have the same ‘why’ for our music. We all started playing because chicks love musicians.”

“They also love being called chicks,” Goldman said, smirking, spinning his fedora around in his hands.

At first, the members of Pussy Beacon had been reluctant to share that they were musicians first and foremost to get girls.

“Eventually, we just decided to come out with it,” Goldman said. “Not come out in, like, a gay way — not that there’s anything wrong with that. At all! I have a friend who’s gay. We’re just super into girls. And we wanted everyone to know.” Thus, “Pussy Beacon” was born.

When asked if they thought the backlash their band name sometimes received was warranted, all five boys snorted in unison.

“We’re trying to be the most true to ourselves as we possibly can. The name reflects that.

We’re not going to sell out to a major record company or anything like that,” harmonicist Mac Reynolds said, met with a chorus of “Fuck that!” by the other boys. “We just want to be indie-rock. Actually, we want TO indie rock! Can you put that in the article? I just thought of that right now. That was dope.”

The influences of Pussy Beacon span both genre and time period. Citing artists like Eminem and Jack Johnson, they made it clear that they weren’t just listening to artists of this generation — Dave Matthews

IN

PROFILE

Band of the ’90s also played a huge part in their artistic growth.

“I would describe us as a mix between Jason Mraz and blink182, because I think we can get sort of punk-ish sometimes,” pianist Nick Blad said. “But we’re still chill and indie.”

The band takes pride in the fact that besides Blad’s experience learning recorder in third grade, they are entirely self-taught.

“I actually learned how to play guitar from YouTube videos. I’m sort of crazy that way,” Goldman said, flicking his hair to the side.

“I can just pick things up after doing them every day for two or three years. My friends call me Rain Man. I just get things without even trying, you know?”

Despite the lack of diversity in their group, Pussy Beacon sees the dearth of respect for people

“People always ask me if I like pizza.” of color and women in the music industry as a huge problem.

“It sucks, man,” Reynolds said. “I just feel like there aren’t enough chicks making cool music, and that’s really hurting them. I’d love to help them out, if you know any girls who want to play. Harmonica isn’t as hard as people say it is, if you can believe it. I’ll give you my number and you can pass it on to any of your female friends.”

“But sometimes I just feel like girls aren’t as good at, like, real rock music, you know?”

Goldman said. “Or, like, indie music.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” he hastened to add. “Girls are great!

But guys and girls are just good at different things. Like Adele or Taylor Swift with those love songs and pop music? Not my vibe — there’s just not a whole lot of substance there — but, like, good for them.”

“And besides, we write a lot of songs about girls,” Blad said. “Wanna hear some of our favorite lyrics?”

Despite not receiving an affirmative answer, he began what the reporters at The Michigan Daily assumed to be a rap: “I know you slept with my friend / But I still think you’re a 10 / You’re so hot, Naomi / and I just wish you would blow me.”

Though the theme of girls has dominated the band’s playlist on SoundCloud, it has also factored

into challenges for the group.

“There was a time when Arizona wanted to fuck Pat’s hot Italian mom,” Goldman said. “So, yeah, there was some tension there.”

Luckily, the band has channeled their tensions into producing some of their proudest lyrical inventions.

“Arizona and I managed to work through the situation when he wrote a song about it,” Acheri said. “It goes, ‘You’re so much older, got so much on your shoulders / Your breasts are starting to sag / with the weight of your experience / I hate to brag / but I want to see them, I’m curious.’ After Arizona played that for me for the first time, I totally realized how he felt.

I mean, all of us have had that relatable experience of wanting to see a pair, you know?”

In terms of improving racial diversity in indie music, the boys were a little stumped.

“I mean, Pat’s Italian,” Blad said. “I don’t really know how much better you expect us to do.”

“Second-generation, but still. People always ask me if I like pizza,” Acheri said. “So annoying. I guess, in that way, there is a real prejudice problem in the music industry.”

Pussy Beacon hopes to sign with a small record label in Brooklyn after graduation next year. Because of their experience playing in different venues, they see this plan as entirely feasible.

“We’ve actually played at co-op parties, fraternity parties and mixers,” Arizona said.

“Mixers are when a fraternity and sorority socialize in a place that isn’t the house. It’s a totally different vibe. So yeah, I’d say we’re pretty well-equipped to handle whatever comes our way.”

Despite being in a public place and being repeatedly asked not to, Pussy Beacon ended the interview with a song.

“We’re going to play this song because it really speaks to who we are as a band and a collective group of awesome dudes,” Goldman said before sensually raising a disconnected microphone to his mouth. “It’s a cover, but I don’t think you’ll ever have heard of it. It’s a song about trust, and really getting someone, like on a fundamental level, you know? Hope you enjoy.

It’s called ‘Wonderwall.’

Editor’s Note: This is part of an April Fools parody B-Side issue. All events and individuals depicted are fictional (to the best of our knowledge). Pussy Beacon isn’t trademarked yet — jump on that fast.”

Very real review of ‘Future A 2 Wives’

By DANIELLE IMMERMAN Daily Arts Writer

In an effort to diversify their lineup, Bravo has premiered a new spin on their Real Housewives series — unlike A++ “The Real HouseThe Real wives of New JerHousewives sey,” “New of Ann Arbor York City,” “Miami” WOLV-TV and the other series, “The Future Real Housewives of Ann Arbor” centers on, well, women who are 19 going on 20, instead of 40 going on 19.

The diverse cast follows five freshman gals at the University of Michigan as they search for love in this crazy college town.

Rachel, Sarah, Ali, Emma and Apple-North Moses get into a cat fight over the same frat guy within the first 10 minutes of the pilot episode alone. Set at Tau Epsilon Kappa’s “fifths and cuffs” rager, each future housewife, with their long dark hair and cute Adidas Superstars, learns that Timmy asked them all to his

formal in Chicago the following weekend. How did they learn this earth-shattering news, one might ask? Their frat boi dates told them because when you’re handcuffed to a guy you barely know with a fifth of Kamchatka in your other hand, well, shit happens.

So for the remainder of the pilot we see some wild “Real Housewives of New Jersey”-style drama commence; lots of tears are shed, a few dresses are ripped to shreds and fake tans are ruined.

Obviously, Timmy tries to put an end to this drama by reassuring all of the girls that there’s lots of chances to hook up in the future, but alas, Timmy ends up soaked in their cans of Natty Light. Of course Timmy gets pissed — his Timberlands and Canada Goose jacket are completely ruined (why Timmy is wearing a Canada Goose jacket at a steamy frat part is beyond me). But, like the gentleman that Timmy is, he calls each gal a Lyft (not an Uber, because Timmy messed that one up) home.

All this drama is quite entertaining to watch. It’s refreshing to see such intelligent college co-eds put their feelings on display so publicly. If you

think this new reality show is just another “Jersey Shore,” you’d be wrong! We actually learn quite a lot from “The Future Real Housewives of Ann Arbor.” For example, we learn that Rachel, Sarah, Ali, Emma and AppleNorth Moses are all majoring in communications because they want to be able to educate their kids on the ~harmful effects of the media~. We even learn some Econ 101 as they get tutored by Ross students (it’s OK that they’re just taking Econ to find a Ross husband, right?), and we also learn some healthy habits as they fill their plates with kale, workout at the Ross gym and proceed to drink a fifth of vodka later that night!

Overall, I’d say this is the best spin on the Real Housewives series to date. After all, what could be better than watching some goal-oriented kids seize life by the balls, one bottle of Ciroc at a time?

Editor’s note: This is part of an April Fool’s parody B-Side issue. All events and individuals depicted are fictional (to the best of our knowledge). There’s probably someone out there named AppleNorth, though.

the fool-side

4B — Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Michigan Daily — michigandaily.com

ALBUM REVIEW

ROADRUNNER RECORDS

Look at this photograph!

EMPLOY MICHIGAN

Looking back at the voice of a generation

By MATT GALLATIN

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Daily Arts Writer

THE MICHIGAN DAILY is hiring for the SUMMER. contact jobs.tmd@gmail.com for more information

Is This It, OK Computer, In Rainbows, Funeral, Modern Vampires of the City — A+ all modern classics in Dark Horse today’s messy “rock” genre.

Nickelback But there is Roadrunner/ one album frequently Atlantic missing from these lists — something so necessary, so moving, so carefully constructed that I shouldn’t even have to mention its name (but I will): Nickelback’s Dark Horse.

Everything about this album screams nuance and genius.

Take the album art, which acts as an intimate window into the world we’re about to jump into: a steel belt buckle. It’s this kind of beaming strength and fortitude that propels Nickelback’s

career highlight above even the most accomplished of bands.

While Nirvana carried the grunge era with impressive instrumentation and subtle lyrics, Nickelback’s Dark Horse dominates a genre that’s even better — post-grunge. The album finds the band eschewing those pompous, pretentious styles that critics love so much for what the world really wants to hear: just four goodol’ white boys from Canada, speaking to the good-ol’ white boys of the world. While most music writers and audiophiles might see their guitar skills as questionable, their lyrics as shallow and their existence as purposeless, Nickelback’s fans know something those highminded fucks don’t. What that is, though, is more mysterious and cryptic than even the band itself.

I’ll admit, I had some difficulty listening to the album in its entirety. I started to feel a bit queasy by the third track,

“Gotta Be Somebody.” But I’m sure that was just the norovirus setting in from the dining hall food I’d consumed a few hours before, and certainly not the result of Chad Kroeger’s perpetually distressed vocals, which wrap listeners like a blanket of hearty, countryside soil. What I did know, though, from the few tracks my feeble body was able to handle, was that I was listening to the unabridged soul of rock — nay, music as a whole.

The band’s decision to open with “Something in Your Mouth” is a complex one, and I’m still unraveling its meaning.

Kroeger proclaims the damsel in this story is “so much cuter with something in (her) mouth.” My initial thought was that the song was encouraging the woman to utter her feelings confidently, without the interference of a man — a message of feminist empowerment, if you will.

Follow-up lyric “in the spotlight all night dissing everyone”

seems to support this analysis.

My point of confusion came when I heard Kroeger state that the woman will “tease them all by sucking on (her) thumb.”

In certain cultures, thumbsucking is a sign of disrespect, so perhaps he’s speaking both to the woman’s multicultural heritage and her independence.

For North Americans, though, thumb-sucking alludes to childhood, so it’s not inconceivable to think that Kroeger is hinting at a deeper story altogether here, one that centers on the adolescent experience of this woman. Such complexities seethe throughout Dark Horse.

Attempting to pin down highlights on this album is bound to be a fruitless endeavor — they’re all highlights.

Listeners might find it difficult to decipher one track from another, but that simply speaks to the consistency and confidence that Nickelback has with their sound. It warrants no alteration or experimentation.

Why add confusion to perfection?

Nickelback’s most compelling skill, though, is their ability to create a community through the medium of music. There are few places in the world like a Nickelback concert, where a 40-year-old-plus, white, feminazi-hating suburban dad can find so many other people just like him. That unifying sameness is a powerful tool, and one that Nickelback should not — and does not — take lightly.

Dark Horse is their gift to the world, sure, but even more so it’s a love letter to Nickelback’s fan base. Reverence to followers is a necessity, and one that many bands fail to account for. Nickelback makes no such mistake.

Some of those previously mentioned pompous critic fucks have mistakenly accused Nickelback of creating nothing more than reductive, cliché hard rock music. But I ask: could the five million people who purchased Dark Horse have all been misguided? When have millions of people ever been misguided? That’s right: never.

Editor’s Note: This is part of an April Fools parody B-Side issue.

Don’t beat up Matt for his bad opinions.