Bridal Magazine - Spring/Summer 2012

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Spring/Summer 2012

And other lifetime celebrations.

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Transform a venue The right colors and lighting can make a reception hall sing, page 4.

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What’s new? Visiting local bridal shows is a great way to get ideas for little (or big) things to add to a wedding, page 6. Shopping day Picking a dress can be a fun and memorable experience. Read about a day in the bridal shop, page 8.

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And other lifetime celebrations.

Seating how-to Tips for organizing the biggest part of the reception — the people, page 10. I do Portraits from local photographers at local venues, page 12. Planning makes perfect Tips for keeping the big day fairly stress-free, page 18. Rings? Cake? Read about where these customs came from, page 22. Finding ‘the dress’ A wedding gown skeptic finds the perfect dress, page 24. In writing Letters add deeper meaning to ceremony, page 26.

On the cover: Weather permitting, the outdoors can provide a unique setting for a wedding. Read about a few local outdoor favorites on page 14. Cover photo Studio Graphics Photography | www.sgphoto.com

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Transform a venue BY CINDY CRAIN NEWMAN for the Daily News

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hen you enter the wedding room inside the picturesque Paper Moon storefront at 510 S. Saginaw Road in Midland and sit down with wedding specialist and owner Sue MacKellar, the conversation quickly turns to the art of transformation. How, for example, do you turn a large hotel event room where everyone in town has attended business meetings into a breathtaking fantasyland for your wedding reception? Or how do you turn a township hall with 150 mismatched chairs into a color-coordinated banquet room where guests enter and go “Wow!”? It’s all about managing the details, and the answers are to be had from MacKellar who has been a regional leader in the business of planning corporate events and weddings for the past 32 years. “Above all, you want a pretty room for event impact, and to achieve that you need to color it,” MacKellar said. “Ninety-nine percent of the time, the chair color at your facility is not the color of your event. No matter how much money you put on the table in pink flowers, you’re not going to have a pink wedding. But put on white chair covers with pink sashes, and for under $20 a table you’re done. Then you can do a simple flower and simple candles. People will remember the room when they walk in. They’ll say: ‘This room is beautiful!’.” MacKellar’s team includes her partner Ed Morris and their staff at Paper Moon and their new division called “Linens & Chair Covers by design”. MacKellar talks to brides first of all about budget. “Then within their budget, the linens, chair covers, and sashes will have the biggest impact of changing the room to their wedding colors.” Since every facility has different kinds of chairs-even many kinds within one facility — MacKellar has learned to carry a wide inventory of styles and colors of chair covers. Unless she knows the facility, she recommends that the bride bring a sample chair from her reception hall. She’s also become a fabric expert, carrying a wide variety of colorful fabric sashes to tie around chair backs in fabrics from polyester and satin to organza. She works with fabric swatches from bridal companies to match bridesmaid dress colors. “Popular sash colors change with fashion. Chocolate brown was the top color for the last two years. Three brides recently have asked about charcoal grey. This year, popular colors are navy blue, a turquoise/jade blue, yellow, black and white, and a hot pinkish color they’re calling honeysuckle. They’re also mixing colors-like hot pink with kiwi green and tangerine with hot pink. They’re using colors from the color wheel in ways that you just didn’t see traditionally done before. That’s great, because color just makes people happy,” MacKellar said. MacKellar uses a variety of other transformational tricks in reception halls to enhance mood and decor. She’ll install curtain backdrops to hide kitchen doorways behind the head table. She’ll custom-make colored cushions for chairs or add colored runners on tables. She’ll hide remote-controlled sparklers in centerpieces which are set off when the bride and groom are toasted. She’ll use colored accent lighting on a bare wall or curtain and mirror tabletops to reflect lighting. Or she’ll often use colored or white twinkle lights under skirting on the head table and cake table. “When the lights go down for dancing, it’s nice to have those tables glowing. Lighting has been our biggest investment in the last two years to keep up with lighting trends. With energy-efficient LED lighting, PAGE 4

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with color and lights

If reception halls have mismatched chairs, the solution can be to use chair covers and decorative sashes to upgrade the look. This hall was staged by Sue MacKellar and her team from Linens & Chair Covers by design of Midland. we can mix the colors in the computer and better match colors or even project a rainbow of color.” One impact-producing decoration which has been popular with brides recently is an 8-foot crystal tree which is on display in her wedding room. “Bling is in this year-everything crystal and glittery. The crystal tree was the hit of both wedding shows (in January). You can up-light color it. You can add fresh flowers, ribbons, dried flowers. You can use it indoors or outdoors. Small ones can be used as cost-effective table centerpieces instead of flowers.” Other ideas to be found are wedding card mailboxes, over-sized, framed table assignment lists on easels, decorative cake stands, confetti cannons and feather

banners. The Paper Moon store can provide invitations, escort cards, place cards, and table menu cards. “We can assist with the full wedding as bridal consultant and coordinator,” MacKellar said. Over the years, MacKellar has collected endless ideas from working with hundreds of brides, grooms, and their parents. She has acquired cake decorating skills, and she even earned a builder’s license so she would know how to construct things and would understand how they work. She’s provided inspiration, creativity, detailfocused implementation, and budgetary counsel. Often she’s even had to be a mediator between couples and between parents and their children as they make decisions.

“Most brides come in with pictures from bridal magazines of things they like. If they tell me what they like about each picture, I know exactly what they really want for their wedding. We can take the design elements from their inspiration pictures and bring it to something they can afford. “It’s a lot of work, but it’s my passion. When the bride and mother walk into the room and start crying and say that everything they’ve been dreaming of is there in front of them-well, it’s very satisfying to see the emotion they feel from the work that you’ve done.” F o r m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n : w w w. papermoonrentals.com, info@papermoonrentals.com, (989) 8351351 or (877) 727-3766. PAGE 5

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What’s new? What’s fun? What’s different? BY CINDY CRAIN NEWMAN for the Daily News

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his season’s bridal shows are great sources of ideas for weddings, receptions, and showers. Besides the ever-popular fashion shows with the latest in bridesmaid and wedding dresses on the runway, vendors offer a multitude of fun and different ways to create memorable and enjoyable events for your special wedding guests.

Rent a photo booth W h e n t h e re ’ s a n All Smiles Foto Booth at the wedding reception, guests can have fun posing together for pictures. Up to six people can be in the booth together for four different shots to be taken five seconds apart. The resulting photo strip is given to guests, and an on site booth host then puts a second photo strip into a scrapbook for the bride and groom. Guests can also sign the scrapbook page with their photos. Photos can be taken in black and white or color. The booth can be color-coordinated to the wedding colors and is stocked with silly hats, crowns, funny glasses, fake noses, and stuffed animals to include in photos or not. The bride and groom also receive a CD of all the photos. “It’s an awesome memory of all of your guests at your wedding,” said Carol Dembowske of All Smiles Foto Booth, Pinconning. For more info: www.allsmilesfotobooth. com, allsmilesfotobooth@gmail.com, (989) 213-6697

Capture great memories on video With a video camera positioned over the reception’s dance floor, the whole night can be captured—father/daughter

dance, first dance for bride and groom, conga line, and more. Anthony Lazzaro of Sound Productions in Clare said that watching the video “makes for a great laugh 10 years down the road.” To ensure that the bride and groom make a great entrance on video into the reception hall, Sound Productions also offers two fun special effects. “One big thing we just added on is the carbon dioxide cannon,” Lazzaro said. It produces a fog-like effect. “Imagine going to a big concert or sporting event, and when they introduce the players, the cannon goes off, and their grand entrance is unique and memorable. We treat the wedding couple as if they are the stars for the night—which they are.” The use of confetti hand throws makes for another photogenic and colorful entrance. “You select 10 people and give them confetti hand throws which produce little streamers. It doesn’t stick to you. When done, the people with it in their hands just wad it up into a little ball and throw it away. Halls love it. It’s mess-free and clutter-free,” Lazzaro said. For more info: www.soundproductions. com, sales@soundproductions.com, (989) 386-2221.

Have a unique bridal shower Stoneware, cookie sheets, skillets, and kitchen gadgets are needed by the bride and groom setting up their first kitchen, and all are available from The Pampered Chef. A bride can register online with The Pampered Chef wedding registry and have a friend or family member host a special wedding shower. A company sales consultant can provide a recipe demonstration, cooking tips, and the opportunity to sample the results. “At the shower, I demonstrate or highlight the things the bride wants,” said Sue Ellen Spaedt, Saginaw-based independent sales director for The Pampered Chef. Then guests can select a gift for the bride and groom from their wedding registry and even order something for themselves. “It’s a very nice way for brides to stock their kitchens,” Spaedt said. For more info: www.pamperedchef.biz/suespaedt, chefspaedt@charter. net, (989) 799-3717.

Why settle for just one cake flavor? When a selection of multi-flavored gourmet cupcakes are offered, every wedding guest will find a favorite. creamy dreamy orange, peanut butter cup, white chocolate peppermint, rocky road, and carrot cake are just a few of the more than 60 flavors offered for weddings in mini and large cupcake versions by The Gourmet Cupcake Shoppe of Midland. It also has a new location in Saginaw. Arranged on tiered cake stands, cupcakes can emulate the look of a tiered wedding cake. Brides can also order a 6-inch round cake for the cake cutting ceremony. At a scheduled appointment, up to 10 flavors can be tasted. For more info: www. TheGourmetCupcakeShoppe.com, (989) 631-4103.

Brighten up your outdoor venue When an outdoor wedding venue needs a little brightening up, wedding specialist Sue MacKellar of Midland’s Paper Moon recommends feather banners. “They’re a nice backdrop behind the wedding party that doesn’t interfere with nature. They’re simple, they flutter in the wind, and they kind of define your space. They can be on the outside of where the bride and groom are standing, or bordering the aisle where she’s walking in and you turn toward her and take her picture. They add some extra color and height to the already beautiful surrounding of nature,” MacKellar said. “We’ve done them in wildflower fields that parents planted knowing their daughter was getting married, on

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Highlights from area bridal shows beaches at Traverse City, or in people’s yards. They’re flowing and soft, especially on a lakefront with a breeze off the water. Lighting gives them a whole different look at night.” For more info: www. papermoonrentals.com

Just sail away! Hold your wedding or reception on the water and even under sail. The BaySail nonprofit organization in Bay City charters its two Appledore schooners for special events from 25 to 48 people. The schooners have been chartered for events on the Saginaw River out of their

docking location in Bay City and also out into Saginaw Bay. “It’s definitely a nontraditional and unique experience to have an onboard wedding ceremony,” said Ciara Velasquez of BaySail. “We provide catering services with a full menu. The wedding couple can have little bands. We can provide the officiator. It can be a river ceremony or they can go out on the bay. The boat is usually stopped when you’re having your ceremony. A lot of couples tend to get married by the lighthouse (on the river).” For more information: www.baysailbaycity.org, info@baysailbaycity.org, (989) 895-5193.

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A day at the dress shop Left,Tiffany Walker helps her sister Kasie Nowosatka pick her dress for her wedding on Aug. 11.

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Story and photos by Cynthia J. Drake

t’s a fact of life: Anytime you’ve got a group of women together and a roomful of gowns, “the girls” are going to get a lot of attention. “The girls,” of course go by lots of different names — “ta-tas” being one of the more benign euphemisms (though in the company of women, the terms are certainly not always benign). Today, nearly all the names are invoked to express the agony of wrangling the equally praised and maligned anatomical part into a bridesmaid’s dress. On a Saturday morning, Sempliners Bride and Formal of Bay City — Michigan’s oldest bridal salon — is buzzing with bridesmaids and their ringleaders (a.k.a. the brides). The women descend upon the gown racks near the back of the store to examine the creations of Alfred Angelo and After Six, all in hopes of finding something that will flatter a range of body types. “Kristy, if you make us wear this, we might not be in your wedding!” shouts one of Kristy Lysakowsky’s relatives from behind a dressing room curtain. Laughing ensues. PAGE 8

A bridesmaid who is too small for the sample size gown she’s trying on is stuffed with something resembling a bolster pillow behind her back, giving her the illusion of being a hunchback. Other bridesmaids struggle with zipping the dresses and come out holding up the bodice with both hands. One by one, they bravely emerge wrapped in variations on the same satin theme, and the group voices its collective opinion. “I like the other one better.” “If that doesn’t look good on her we’re not even going to bother.” “I don’t like how this one squishes ‘the girls.’” Marion Seelinger is working her magic in a tiny workshop in the belly of Sempliners. Next to her no-frills basement workspace sits a miniature Christmas tree and other assorted holiday decorations. Seelinger pulls a needle through a beaded applique to tack it to a dress. “It came to us this way,” she says, pointing to the line of droopy appliques on the bodice.

Seelinger is actually a seamstress by title, but it might be more accurate to call her an engineer. When everyone is “oohing” and “ahhing” over the intricate beadwork and lace, the slight, curly blonde woman with glasses dangling around her neck is mainly looking at the inside, the guts, of the dresses. She’s getting a sense of how they’re constructed, how much fabric each one will allow her to take out or nip in to best wrangle those pesky busts, waists and hips into place. She tells brides and bridesmaids what’s possible, and after 30 years of working at Sempliners, they’d better believe her. At 68 years old, she says, “I will probably work here until I have to slide down the stairs and climb up on my hands and knees. I wouldn’t know where else to work.” Upstairs another bridal party is assembling — mothers of the bride and groom, bridesmaids and the flower girl — to watch bride Kasie Nowosatka of Bay City try on her dress. In the meantime, 8-year-old Jenna Kusmierz of Munger has been keeping the party entertained with her comical reac-

Jenna Kusmierz, 8, slips a bridal heel over her colorful socks while the other women in Kasie Nowosatka’s bridal party pick out dress colors. tions to the proposed flower girl dresses they’ve been trotting out. Frilly juvenile ones get a wrinkled nose, soon tossed out in favor of more mature bridesmaid-style gowns. A few weeks ago, Nowosatka and her sisters came to Sempliners and had their “Say Yes to the Dress” moment. There actually wasn’t any need for Nowosatka to say “yes” to anything, said her sister, Tiffany Walker: “All her sisters loved it.” And that was enough for Kasie. After Walker finishes lacing up the back of her sister’s gown, she steps back for a moment and the group takes in the vision of the bride in the mirror. “I would say my son’s heart is going to melt even more,” said Julie Kellerman of Essexville, dabbing at her eyes. “She looks like an angel.” Kusmierz is over in the corner slipping oversized high heels over her colorful print socks. Later on when activity at the shop dies down, sales associates — in earlier years Brandi Keene of Midland sweeps through of Sempliners history, they would’ve the rack of gowns at Sempliners looking for been referred to as “shop girls” — Helen “the one” for her September wedding.

Sabot and Stephanie LaGore rest their heels behind the cash register talking to Seelinger. It hasn’t been a day for high sales, but then again, it often isn’t in an industry where it isn’t unheard of for a customer to pay 12 visits before deciding on a bridesmaid’s gown. “I just have to stay patient,” says LaGore. “People don’t like to be pushed.” In an era of high-pressure sales à la TLC’s “Say Yes to the Dress” and big box bridal stores, the little shop on Water Street stays afloat by offering a more intimate experience. It’s not uncommon to run into a bride who is the third generation of her family to purchase her wedding dress there. Grandmothers and mothers who also shopped at Sempliners share in the moment, remembering what it was like picking out their own gowns. The styles may have changed — Seelinger said they’ve gone “from big and poufy to strapless,” but the customer service remains the same. And that’s good news for the girls, no matter which ones you’re talking about. PAGE 9

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eddings are filled with many emotions:happiness, excitement and anticipation, to name a few. With all of the positive emotions a wedding may drum up, in the mix there may be a few negative ones, including feelings of being overwhelmed at all the details that need to be completed on a deadline. One aspect of wedding planning that tends to send people into panic is wedding reception seating arrangements. The thought of having 200 friends and family members together under one roof -- and then attempting to seat them next to an acceptable group of people -- can cause some couples to hyperventilate. Every family has its ups and downs, and there are certain people who get along well and a few who clash. Ensuring that a wedding is memorable for all the right reasons (and not for the brawl at table 3) is why seating arrangements are so important. Many couples can use a little advice when seating guests, while others would love another person to handle the seating arrangements for them. Here are some guidelines for setting up reception seating arrangements. • Place yourselves, as well as the bridal party, at a separate table that is in a prime location in the room. Be sure to allow the spouses or dates of bridal party members at the same table so couples remain together. • Some couples choose to seat both sets of parents at one table together -- the parents' table. Grandparents may also be seated at this table, depending on the number of people each table can accommodate. • If children under the age of 7 are invited, they should be seated with their parents. Children between ages 7 and 14 can

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be seated at a separate kids' table. • Be mindful of guests with disabilities or mobility issues. Seat them close to the door, bathrooms or food station. • Instead of separating the bride and the groom's family to separate sides, intermingle the tables to promote conversation. • Consider arranging guests by common interests at each table, seating business associates or parents' friends together. • Take into consideration people who have relationship rifts and try to seat them separately. But don't stress about this too much because it won't be possible to accommodate everyone. You'll have to hope that at your wedding a certain level of decorum will preside. • It's not unheard of to let guests seat themselves. This takes the pressure of finding a seat for everyone off of you as a couple and enables you to think about the other tasks at hand. This can take place at a buffet wedding or a smaller affair —Metro

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I Do Top left, Emily (formerly of Midland) and Jacob Packer at Dow Diamond.

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Above, Christina and Nick Curato of Midland.Wedding and reception at Dow Gardens. Right, Michael and Natalie Simpson outside The H Hotel. Left, Jessica (formerly Bay City) and Jeremiah Ward of Elizabeth City, N.C. Pere Marquette Train Depot, Bay City

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The Great Outdoors BY CINDY CRAIN NEWMAN for the Daily News

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hen nature is the setting for your wedding, your event’s memories and photos can include beautiful river or wetlands scenery and natural flora and fauna. But the bride and groom do have to keep in mind that there are variables in nature, said Deana Beckham, rental coordinator for the Chippewa Nature Center, just three miles from downtown

Midland. She tells the humorous story of a wedding that occurred at the Center’s boat launch last year on the Chippewa River’s riverbank. “They had written their own vows, and the wind picked up and blew the vows right into the river while they were reading them. But the groom just got down into the river and got them, and they continued.”

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CONTINUED ON PAGE 16

Alex and Ashley McKelvy

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Let the outdoors be your wedding venue CONTINUED FROM PAGE 15

That sort of flexibility and informality can make a wedding very successful at the Chippewa Nature Center which has been making its facilities available for weddings just since last year. “It can be a no-fuss approach to a wedding for nature enthusiasts,� Beckham said. “It’s a natural, quiet, and peaceful setting. It lends itself well to simple ceremonies. You can just walk up to your space and start your ceremony.� A recent wedding couple invited its guests to first hike the trails and enjoy the outdoors before having a chili meal in one of the classrooms, followed by the wedding ceremony. For small weddings of 15-20 guests, on site covered pavilions can be rented at three locations within this 1,200-acre property of woodlands, wetlands, rivers, and upland fields. One is on the Arbury Trail and overlooks the Pine River. A second, at the end of Homestead Road, connotes the feeling of being out in a meadow. A third is at the Wetlands site and offers guests views, hikes, and photo opportunities of Muskrat, Heron, Treefrog, and Dragonfly Marshes.

The larger River Overlook setting inside the Visitors Center can be used for up to 100 guests who can view through glass the surrounding panorama of the Pine River and trees, flowers, and wildlife. This vista is ever-changing based on the season, and may include the occasional canoe or kayak passing by or even bald eagles, mink, and herons. Alex and Ashley McKelvy were the first couple married at CNC in its River Overlook setting in July 2011. “We chose it for its natural setting,� Alex McKelvy said. “I grew up (in Midland) volunteering at CNC and brought Ashley to the grounds the first time she visited Midland while we were dating. A love of nature and the outdoors is something we have always shared. We especially value the aesthetics of an undomesticated landscape over that of a cultivated area such as a garden or golf course. For us, it’s what really sets CNC apart from any other option in the area. We ultimately chose the shelter of the River Overlook as it combined the beauty of the river without having to worry about the vagaries of weather.� Alex and Ashley are both now working on their PhDs in biology at City

University of New York in New York City. Ashley studies the ecology of bird populations and how they are influenced by fragmented habitats. Alex studies the historical biogeography and evolution of snakes and other reptiles, primarily in North America.

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For a more groomed and landscaped outdoor wedding setting, hundreds of couples have chosen Dow Gardens in the middle of the city of Midland. During the prime wedding season of May through October, this 110-acre botanical garden has hosted up to six weddings on a weekend day in two key locations, said Ben Tierney, rental coordinator for Dow Gardens. Up to 300 wedding guests can be accommodated at the Peninsula Site which is a grassy peninsula surrounded by water with views of a scenic Alden B. Dow red bridge and a stone-like bridge which are the often-used setting for wedding party photos. “Depending on the time of year, there may be blooming rhododendrons, crabapples, and hydrangeas, and

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the magnolia trees can be pretty spectacular in the spring. We purposefully don’t have big beds of annuals at this site, because we don’t want to clash with a particular color scheme of the wedding party,” Tierney said. A second location, the Pineside Site, is described by Tierney as having “a more rustic, woodsy, and intimate feel to it. There are large pine trees and a big row of blooming rhododendrons in the spring. There’s a very large ostrich fern bed which is light green in color to contrast nicely with the dark greens of the pines in photos. And there is the Herbert H. Dow reflecting pool with a fountain in the middle of it.” The Pineside Site can seat up to 100 guests in chairs with additional standing room. When planning a summer outdoor wedding, Tierney makes easy-to-implement suggestions to the wedding couple which can add to the comfort of their guests’ experiences. “For really warm weather weddings, I recommend that bottled water be provided so guests can reach in the cooler and grab one before they sit down. The couple can also make their wedding program into a useful, handheld fan shape.” Just as at the Chippewa Nature Center, the outdoor setting of Dow Gardens can provide some surprises at times. “Last

Photo courtesy CNC

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Trent and Shannon Lamblin year, we had a chipmunk that walked they’re in a garden. We do have a golf right up the officiator’s leg. That added cart available for rent to transport guests some comedy to the ceremony!” Tierney back and forth, if needed. Footwear can said. “We’re right in the middle of the also be an issue. I usually tell the bride city and Midland is sprayed for mosqui- to test shoes out on her front yard before toes, so that’s not an issue. But we are a choosing what shoes to wear. large property, and wedding guests will be walking quite a bit outside. So couples CONTINUED ON PAGE 25 need to make sure their guests are aware

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Tips for stress-free wedding planning BY RACHEL M. ESTERLINE For the Daily News

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ne of the biggest mistakes brides make in the beginning of planning a wedding is being unrealistic about their budget, said Darcie Johnson, certified wedding planner and owner of Happily Ever After Events, an event company serving the Great Lakes Bay Region. In 2011, the average wedding cost $25,631, according to The Wedding Report. “It’s very important to sit down at the beginning of the planning process and get a firm handle on how much money you have to work with,� she said. “And, don’t put your wedding on a credit card. Your wedding is one of the most important days of your life, but you shouldn’t spend the rest of your life paying for it.� Johnson recommends focusing the bulk of the budget on the things that are most important to the bride and groom. “If flowers don’t matter, but a great DJ does, spend less in one area so you have more for the other,� she said.

It also is important to research the quality and re p u t a t i o n o f vendors, especially those that will take up a large chunk of the budget. “Looking back, I wish I would have done a little Darcie Johnson more research on the vendors we chose,� said Kristen Squires of Midland. “I was very unhappy with our photographer. I decided to book the photographer at a bridal expo about a year before the wedding. I made a decision that day to put a deposit down. I wish I would have just taken her information, but kept my options open.� The guest list also can be a point of contention within some families. Ultimately, the guest list should be up to the bride and groom, according to Johnson. “Invite the people whose presence means something to you,� she said. “Friends or co-workers of your parents, neighbors from years ago, old friends

The perfect celebration begins at

that you haven’t spoken too in years aren’t who matter that day. The people you love and care about are.� Johnson said planning the big things, such as the photographer, DJ and cake, are the easiest tasks to take care of, but there is much more to planning a wedding. “They say the devil is in the details for a reason,� she said. Squires spent a year and half planning her June 2011 wedding. “We couldn’t do all the work ourselves and delegated the work we could to family and friends we trusted,� she said. “They all came through for us and helped us tremendously. I felt prepared the day of my wedding. I wasn’t scrambling to get last minute things done and I felt comfortable that I had everything I needed. It allowed me to just relax and enjoy the wedding. It still went by so quickly, but I was able to enjoy the little moments and take it all in.� To minimize stress, Johnson recommends assigning key tasks to people you trust on the day of the wedding. “It’s the little things that cause the most stress,� she said. “Who will pin on all the corsages and boutonnieres? Who takes care of the unity candle? Who will make

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The wedding party of Sean and Kristen Squires. sure all the bridal party is together for the bridal dance? Who’s going to take care of the gifts?� Johnson recommends hiring a wedding planner for the wedding day to help make sure everything goes according to plan. Many wedding planners, including herself, offer rehearsal and wedding day only packages. “A wedding planner will make sure all your hard work and plans are executed correctly,� she said. “They’ll make sure the day runs smoothly and you aren’t bothered with 101 problems. And, no matter how hard you plan, there will always be problems.� CONTINUED ON PAGE 20

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Stress-free wedding planning CONTINUED FROM PAGE 19

Brides need to be ready for the unexpected because not everything can be within their control. “The zipper on my sister Nicole’s dress was broken, so when she was getting zipped up you could still see her back,” said Stephanie Miller, a May 2011 bride from Saginaw. “So, my mother-in-law had to sew her into the dress.” Squires was prepared for emergencies as well. “My maid of honor put together an emergency kit,” Squires said. “She had the obvious essentials, such as extra bobby pins, hair ties, gum, a mini sewing kit, stain remover and perfume. However, she also had some items in there that I thought would be unnecessary, but were actually lifesavers.” Johnson said “family drama” is one unavoidable problem that comes up in every wedding. “The best advice I can give is to try to not take any of it personally and try not to let it, in any way, ruin your big day,” she said. “Let people vent if they need too, let them complain, let them give their ‘advice’ but remember that it’s your wedding and your happiness that matters most.” Both Squires and Miller agree that lastly, on the big day, it’s most important to relax and enjoy the moment. “I really do not think you can really be fully prepared for your wedding day,” Miller said. “There are so many emotions and everything happens so fast. If it is possible, try not to blink!”

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hances are those who have attended a wedding have witnessed some popular traditions take place. The bride wears a veil, a court of wedding attendants accompanies the bride and groom, and birdseed, rice or fl ower petals are tossed. But have you ever wondered why? The wedding customs are ripe with tradition and harken back to days when superstition and myth often ruled the day. • Throwing rice: Today it has become de rigueur to blow bubbles, toss birdseed or release doves when the bride and groom leave the house of worship newly betrothed. That's because savvy individuals found that raw rice can pose a hazard to birds pecking in the area. However, rice throwing is an old custom that dates back to the Middle Ages, when wheat or rice where thrown to symbolize fertility for the couple. • Bouquet: Nowadays, the bride carries a beautiful bouquet of fl owers. But the purpose of the bouquet held different meanings in the past. Saracen brides carried orange blossoms for fertility. Others carried a combination of herbs and flowers to ward off evil spirits with their aroma. Bouquets of dill

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were often carried, again for fertility reasons, and after the ceremony, the dill was eaten to encourage lust. • Bridesmaids: There may be arguments over dresses and how many bridesmaids to have in a wedding party now, but in ancient times it was "the more the merrier." That's because bridesmaids were another measure to keep the bride safe against evil spirits. Essentially the bridesmaids were decoys for the spirits -- dressing like the bride to confuse the spirits or maybe help deter them to leave the bride be. • Wedding rings: Wearing of wedding rings dates back to ancient Egypt. The round shape of a ring symbolizes eternal love. The ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it is believed this finger has a blood vessel that goes directly to the heart. • Wedding cake: The traditional wedding cake evolved from Roman times when the cake was originally made from wheat. It was broken over the bride's head to ensure fertility. All of the guests eat a piece for good luck. Single women used to place a piece of wedding cake under their pillows in the hopes of finding their own husbands. • Father accompanying the bride: This tradition symbolizes that the bride's father endorses the choice in husbands and is presenting his daughter as a pure bride to that man. • Kissing the bride: In older times, a kiss symbolized a legal bond. Therefore, the bride and groom kissed to seal the deal on their betrothal. There are many traditions surrounding a wedding that people simply accept. But understanding their origins can make the ceremony more meaningful. — Metro Newspaper Services

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Dress shopping: keep an open mind

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ome might call me the anti-bride. I hate dislike wedding gowns. White washes me out, they’re too expensive and I don’t want to look like a damn princess. And, as a 5foot-tall frugalista, I take issue with the fact that wedding dresses are made for 8-foottall women who clearly don’t have thousands in student loans to pay off. After stalking a dress on eBay last fall, I went to Unique Bridal in Auburn, to try it on. I thought that if I loved the dress, I’d buy the pre-worn version online and be done with it. I ended up hating the dress, but patiently tried on all the others the saleslady brought out for me since I was already there. One dress stood out in the sea of poofy, beaded, lacy options. It was a cocktaillength chiffon dress. It didn’t feel like a typical wedding dress, which I loved. But, it only had one strap (I hated) and had these huge chiffon roses on the chest and strap (I despised). Since it was my first time at a bridal shop, I decided to check out a few other places. After visiting a few consignment shops, I went to David’s Bridal with friends. The shop’s tea-length options were minimal. One dress appeared to be something my mother would have bought for my eight-year-old self. Katie, my maid of honor, was able to find one nice thing to say about it: “Most girls can’t pull off vertical stripes.” Another tea length dress came to my dressing room as a size 18W. I really couldn’t imagine how it would look since it hung like a heavy curtain on my size 4 frame. Shortly after the disappointing trip, I went Unique Bridal again to try on a lacy Alfred Angelo dress I had found on Pintrest. It was beautiful and

Try on everything they throw at you in the bridal salon. Make fun of the ugly dresses and have a sense of humor.

Columnist Rachel Esterline poses with one of the dresses she tried on on her quest for “The Dress.” “Pretty, but I’m not spending that much money on a dress that will just get dirty on the beach.” it was on sale — for $650. I could have made room in my budget, but I knew purchasing that dress would have been followed by intense buyers’ remorse. I couldn’t justify spending that kind of cash on a dress that I would wear only once and would ultimately end up dragging across a sandy beach in Tra-

verse City. Then, I asked to try on the cocktail-length chiffon dress again. I had been mentally comparing it to every other dress I tried on, even though I hated parts of it. I thought I might be able to ignore the asymmetrical design and poofy roses since I couldn’t get it out of my mind.

I still had reservations about the strap and roses, but the staff was helpful. They showed me how the dress could easily be altered to become a strapless dress and the roses were removable. We tucked the strap under my arm to hide the roses — and then it happened. I knew that it was “the dress.” I could see myself walking barefoot on the beach towards Jeremy in this lightweight dress with a flower in my hair. I had found my dream dress. And, as a discontinued dress, it was the last one in stock and was on sale. I knew I wouldn’t find a better deal when I heard that the dress would only cost me $152, including tax. The best part: I can dye the dress black after the wedding and truly wear it again. My advice to brides: Try on everything they throw at you in the bridal salon. Make fun of the ugly dresses and have a sense of humor when they put something you that is 14 sizes too big. Go in with an idea of what you want, but don’t be afraid to try something different. Give yourself time to mull over the options. Then, if there is a dress that you can’t get out of your mind, go back to try it again. It might end up becoming “the dress” with some alterations. Rachel Esterine is a freelance writer for the Daily News.

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Sarah and Garrett Seaver

Outdoor weddings: concluded “Many brides switch into slipper shoes for taking pictures after their ceremonies when they’re doing a lot of walking around to different locations in the gardens.” There’s no time limit for wedding couples for taking pictures in the gardens on their wedding day, and for many local couples these photos are an addition to family albums which include baby pictures in the gardens and high school prom or homecoming pictures, too. “The waterfall is definitely a popular photo site for couples. We’ve had some fun pictures of the wedding party running on the Bumps or jumping up in the air on the Bumps. The whole party is often posed across the Sun Bridge or the Alden B. Dow red bridges or even spread out among the boulders in the Boulder Pass. Our garden staff works so hard on our annual beds in the summer, and those are spectacular photo backdrops,” Tierney said. Even if a wedding is not held in Dow Gardens, many couples choose to just go

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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 17

Kelly and Jeremy Powell

there for photos. For a special rate of $20, the entire wedding party is admitted if coming to take pictures. “But it has to be on your wedding day,” Tierney said. Another outdoor wedding recommendation always made by Tierney is for what he calls “rain insurance” — the additional booking of an indoor backup site. Nearby options include space in the Midland Center for the Arts or Whiting Forest. Whiting Forest can also be a reception site for up to 80 people in its unique Visitor’s Center which features a fireplace, a view of the forest, and a spacious outdoor deck area. For more information: Chippewa Nature Center, 400 S. Badour Road, Midland. www.chippewanaturecenter.com. Deana Beckham, (989) 631-0830, rentals@chippewanaturecenter. org Dow Gardens, 1809 Eastman Avenue, Midland. Whiting Forest, 2303 Eastman Avenue, Midland. www.dowgardens.org. Ben Tierney, (989) 631-2677, tierney@dowgardens.org

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Couples’ letters move marriage ceremony to ‘deeper place’ BY JENNIFER DOBNER The Associated Press

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SALT LAKE CITY - The task assigned by the minister ahead of our May 1999 wedding seemed simple enough: a letter from each of us telling her why - out of all the possible people in the world - we had chosen to marry each other. The answer, too, seemed simple: love, of course. “But you can’t use the word love,� the Rev. Constance Redding Sidebottom said. “That makes it too easy.� Sidebottom, 68, a retired United Methodist minister and my aunt, always asks couples for wedding letters, and is certain they have transformative power. “Often weddings are for show,� said Sidebottom, of Polson, Mont. “The sacredness is removed by the glitz and the money spent. But when couples are asked to write the letters, they often move to a deeper place. Their effort to be honest and genuine for one another is honored by God and made holy.� Beyond the ban on the word “love,� Sidebottom has other rules about the letters, which she reads out loud during the ceremony. Bride and groom

are forbidden from sharing their letters with each other ahead of the wedding, and Sidebottom won’t officiate without receiving them. During her 11 years of fulltime ministry, not one person has failed to write the letter, although some have cut it close, Sidebottom said. One groom delivered his to her door at 7 a.m. on the day he was to be married. “Every single bride and groom says they agonize over writing the letters because they understand how important they are,� Sidebottom said. Nearly every faith tradition has a well-scripted formula for wedding ceremonies. There are specific prayers to be offered, scriptural passages to be read and vows to exchange. But the letters bring something different. Through their own words, the couple essentially writes their own sermon about life, love and their expectations for marriage, Sidebottom said. They add a personal touch to a ceremony much like self-written vows, a trend that began in the 1960s as some couples moved away from religious tradition, said Diane Warner, author of the “Complete Book of Wedding Vows� (New Page Books,

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27 2006). Warner had not heard of Sidebottom’s letters, but said that, especially in stricter faiths where customized vows are discouraged, they might be a way to satisfy both clergy and the couple. "And for those who have children, someday those letters will be a really valuable gift,” Warner said. The letters can reveal more about a couple’s individual personalities and tell the “truth about what’s really going on” between hearts, Sidebottom said. A carpenter she married some years ago, for example, scrawled his thoughts on a bid sheet, while his bride carefully penned hers on beautiful stationery. The contrast made the congregation giggle. Another groom, a Naval officer, compared the bride to his favorite sandwich, peanut butter and jelly. “He said all these things about the stickiness and the sweetness and the savory, how all the right elements for a perfect dish had just happened to show up in her,” said Sidebottom, who confesses the letter is her all-time favorite. “We couldn’t stop laughing, and we couldn’t stop crying.” The simple act of reading the letters out loud can add emotional heft to a ceremony. “It’s like the Holy Spirit infuses the place and it becomes (the couple’s) wedding with God,” Sidebottom said. “Everybody that is there is affected.” She said many wedding guests have told her their own stories of transformation. Some have been inspired to begin writing anniversary

letters to their spouse. Sidebottom often hears from couples she has married that the letters have had a lasting impact on their marriage. At a visit to a church where she once was pastor, Sidebottom was approached by a man whose wedding she performed more than 16 years ago. “He and his wife are still married - always a relief to me - and they read their letters every anniversary, and at times in between when life was so hard that they had to remember why they wanted to marry,” she said. Thirteen years after my own wedding, my husband, Bill Keshlear, and I are also still married, and still writing letters. We write a new one each year and read them out loud to each other on our anniversary. “It seems to help us re-commit somehow, through the ups and downs,” he said. We keep our letters in a wooden box carved with X’s and O’s, on the dresser in our bedroom. The box was a gift from Sidebottom. Even now, the letters aren’t easy to write. Some read like long book reports. Others are shorter, more literary and sweet. What’s most interesting to me is how the threads from those first letters continue through each of the 24 we’ve written since. Our commitment to the idea of marriage hasn’t changed, despite our mistakes and missteps. We love each other and like each other. We respect each other, and in each other we have found a comfortable place to call home.

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