Cary Living Magazine

Weathering Winter

lighting with

LAMPS YOUR

beastly BACK

bridal guide

J A N UA RY | F E B R UA RY 2 0 1 2

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publisher

Jennifer Robertson Photography

A NOTE FROM THE

Publisher/Par tner Gina Stephens

Happy NewYear!

Adver tising Sales Myra Gammon | Jill Futch Creative Director Travis Aptt Ar t Director Jennifer Casey Graphic Design Heath Hilliker Contributing Writers Christa Gala | April Schlanger | Kate Turgeon Illyse Lane | Bonnie Fischer | Carter & Laura Dalton Carolee Auslander | Richard Hauser, D.P.M.

I love setting up my holiday decorations the day after Thanksgiving so I can enjoy them every day until Christmas, but

by New Year’s Day I want it all down and packed away. This usually involves me dragging box after box up the stairs; it has never been more than an aggravation until last year, when it became a big problem! All that lugging strained my back. I thought I would be a lot older before I had back problems. But I’m not alone.

More than 80 percent of adults over age 30 have back problems.

Car y Living is published six times annually. Any reproduction in part or in whole of any part of this publication is prohibited without the express written consent of the publisher.

Car y Living is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts, photography or art. Unsolicited material is welcome and is considered intended for publication. Such material will become the property of the magazine and will be subject to editing. Material will be returned if accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope. Car y Living will not knowingly accept any real estate advertising in violation of U.S. equal opportunity law.

There are many things I could have been doing to prevent my back problems. Check out “Ouch! Back Pain” (p. 10); maybe you can be part of the 20 percent that never has a backache!

And if you or someone you know is planning their big day, learn more about the great options for wedding planning in Western Wake in our Cary Living Bridal Guide (p. 38).

Plus, in “Weathering Winter” (p. 24), check out the sweaters, jackets, gloves, scarves and boots – everything you need to look great while keeping warm this winter.

We love hearing from you; let us know what you think of this issue of Cary Living. Your opinion matters.

GINA PEARCE STEPHENS Publisher/Partner Midtown & Cary Living 4818 Six Forks Road | Suite 204 | Raleigh, NC 27609 919-782-4710 | gina@caryliving.com

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contents

JA NU A RY | F E B R U A RY 2 0 12

features

10 YOUR BEASTLY BACK It strikes more than 70 percent of the population. Learn its common causes, treatments and prevention.

15

SAY IT WITH LIGHTING Illuminate your space and amplify your style by choosing the right table lamps for your home.

18

RELIGION IN SCHOOLS Religious schools continue to grow, despite a down economy.

24 WHEN LIFE GIVE YOU LEMONS A Cary woman takes a bad situation and makes good happen.

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BRIDAL GUIDE 2012 Planning your wedding? Let us help!

50

PICTURES OF PRIORITIES Three local seniors discuss what matters most about their retirement living.

departments 32 | WINE REVIEW 34 | CALENDAR OF EVENTS 48 | FARM FRESH 37 | NEXT ISSUE 55 | FINANCIAL FOCUS 58 | HEALTHY LIVING 64 | SIGHTINGS

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WEATHERING WINTER Sweaters, jackets, gloves, scarves, boots‌ Great looks for weathering winter!

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YOUR

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By ka Te TurGeon

Its causes, treatments and prevention There’s that nagging back pain. y ou mention it to a friend and the questions begin. Where does it hurt? When did it start? is it like a stabbing pain or more dull and steady? on a scale of one to 10, really, how much does it hurt? y our mind goes back to yesterday, last week or even last month. maybe you lifted a heavy box. y ou did a lot of driving and didn’t get much rest. it’s hard to pinpoint the exact cause, but you know it’s changing your life. gym time isn’t as enjoyable, and you’re avoiding the grocery store and other usual destinations. y ou’re not alone. more than 70 percent of the population will experience low back pain at some point in their lives, explains physical therapist Swati godbole. it’s the fifth most common reason for physician visits in the United States, and it’s the number one cause of activity limitation in people younger than 45.

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“it is fairly prevalent,” explains g odbole, who has worked in physical therapy for 25 years. “most people will develop low back pain that resolves spontaneously over a couple of days. [But] in a large patient population, it will come back again at some point.”

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Ca uses But what caused it? While each situation is different, there are some general causes that professionals see often.

Poor posture is one. a lot of people slouch for long periods of time, which contributes to poor posture, explains g odbole. l ow back pain may also be common in people with weak core muscles. r epetitious movement is another cause. This may mean repeated lifting at work or home. it can also mean sitting at a desk for long periods of time.

Things can be complex, and getting better is almost never a matter of simply holding your shoulders back.

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“[People used to] get up and walk to school. They would walk to the grocery store. [Today] we have gotten lazy…so, we are sitting a lot and it puts a lot of compression on the spine,” says g odbole.

Weight can play a factor, although g odbole points out that a person doesn’t have to be overweight to have low back pain. Here’s where weight does matter: extra pounds will increase your recovery time and affect your overall ability to recover. a s a factor, age can be tricky. a s people grow older, arthritis may be a concern. “a nd when you get older, you probably feel a little different because you’re probably going have more difficulty standing and walking, and actually sitting might give you some relief,” explains g odbole. “The reason being is that your spinal canal gets a little narrow.”

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“

Most people will develop low back pain that resolves spontaneously over a couple of days. [But] in a large patient population, it will come back again at some point.

- Swati Godbole, Apex Physical Therapy and Wellness Center

While advanced age can be a risk factor, g odbole says that pain in the lower back is spread throughout the population. “in the past you’d see patients in their late 30s and early 40s, but now you see it across the board,” she says. c hildren and teenagers may suffer, too. o ften g odbole treats younger patients with pain caused by backpacks, sports injuries and poor posture. (y es, video games and couch slouch, we’re looking at you!) c ar accidents can be culprits, too. a nd neck pain may accompany backaches in those instances. c ommon causes of discomfort include trauma to the soft tissue, disc issues and pinching on the nodes, says g odbole.

Trea Tmen Ts l ike causes, treatments are individualized, which is why it’s best to seek advice on your situation from a

”

medical professional. Things can be complex, and getting better is almost never a matter of simply holding your shoulders back. “y ou may or may not know exactly how to improve your posture, or what is contributing to your personal problem,” says g odbole. “it’s all based on the assessment.”

Forget cookie-cutter solutions. While some people have a flexion bias (better with sitting; worse with standing), others have an extension bias (worse with sitting; better with walking). Tender points and tightness are other problems; they’re treated with manual techniques and joint mobilizations, respectively. a t a pex Physical Therapy and Wellness c enter, where Pilates and mcKenzie are offered, g odbole often finds that patients are surprised by how weak they are. Even athletes feel strong, but may have weak core

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muscles that contribute to back pain. With about six to eight weeks of occasional visits and an at-home exercise program, many of them find relief.

To treat posture issues, g odbole first examines the design of her patients’ workplaces (ergonomics). in addition to checking on computer setups, she looks at seat positioning in the car and even couch/television placement at home. “a lot of it is common sense, but people can’t see it in the situation,” she says. “When you review it with them, they’re like, ‘why didn’t i think of that?’”

Good To kn o w it’s always a good time to think of your situation, whether you have low back pain now or are trying to avoid it in the future. For those looking for an “ounce of prevention,” g odbole recommends: • if you have a desk job, get up every 20 to 30 minutes to walk around.

• Bend over backward. l iterally. We spend so much time sitting, which is, really, bending forward for the spine. So if you did the opposite a few times by bending backward, that would help.

• l ie down on your stomach from time to time and prop yourself up on a couple of pillows. Use the “tummy time” to read.

• Practice Pilates to keep your core muscles strong.

• Walk on flat surfaces and swim when possible.

• a void sit-ups. They’re not good for the spine.

• if you’re comfortable, alternate between sitting on a chair and bouncing on an exercise ball at work. The bouncing keeps your back arched a little, hydrates your discs and works your core. Try 30 minutes on the ball and then back to the chair, because you need a little back support, too.

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lighting Not only are lamps essential to a well-lit room, but they make a huge impact on a home’s overall look and feel. Illuminate your space and amplify your style by choosing the right table lamps for your home.

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Candice Olsen mirrored base lamp with rectangular black linen shade trimmed with pendant crystals and topped with a faceted crystal finnial.

SoHo Consignments, $185

This “Second is World Away” lamp has bright brushed gold leaf and mirrored finishes, making it like a little jewelry box in your room. Adds a nice little sparkle to any space. Ivy Cottage Collections, $299

Enlighten your world with the “Changing Places” lamp from Platinum Bay. Sixpence Accents, $95

Antique brass clouds scroll lamp from the Brett-Austin Group. Sixpence Accents, $295

Straight from the “Mad Men” era, at 51” high and with a 14” diameter amber glass ball, this lamp makes a statement wherever you place it! SoHo

This “Uttermost” lamp has very specific colors, great for tying together a room. Ivy Cottage Collections, $229

Consignments, $257

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say it

with lighting The right lighting can make an average room look spectacular, disguise flaws and enhance assets. Lighting can enhance color schemes and make odd rooms seem intimate and cozy. Choosing the right table or floor lamp can be one of the most important tools in decorating your home.

Table lamps fall into three categories: task lighting, general lighting or accent lighting. Task lighting delivers essential illumination for specific tasks like reading or cooking. It is localized, shadow free and easy on the eyes. When decorating a room, it takes several different types of lighting to truly complete the look. In the ideal room, general lighting, task lighting and accent lighting work in harmony to create an overall effect that is comfortable and engaging.

“When decorating with table lamps, placement is key,” says Lisa Allen, owner of Ivy Cottage.

She says there should be enough table lamps in your home to accommodate the many tasks that you do each day. “If more than one person does tasks simultaneously in the same area, such as if you and your partner read in bed each night, two table lamps should be used,” says Allen.

“Remember, the bottom of the lamp should be placed at eye level when you are seated. For delicate tasks, the light source should be 10 to 12 inches below the user’s eye level.”

As you can see, choosing the right lighting for your home takes more thought and consideration that you may have previously thought. Once you decide on the function of your table lamp, the fun part is deciding on the style of table lamp.

The choices may be a little overwhelming, but if you take a little time now to select the right lighting for your space, you will create a room that is truly complete and comfortable.

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Religion in Schools The world’s a tough place to raise kids these days.

And, frankly, being a kid isn’t always a picnic either.

These factors are likely playing a role in the prominence of religious schools today, even in a down economy.

By chRist

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Just how prevalent are religious schools? The council for american Private Education reports 25 percent of all U.S. schools are private, serving ten percent of all U.S. students. That translates to roughly five million students in grades Pre-K through 12, 80 percent of which attend religiously affiliated schools. stRon g a cadeMics But why? Private school isn’t free, so parents typically have compelling reasons for choosing private over public.

“Unlike the public sector, we offer more stability and consistency in our programs,” says Julia Taylor, director of curriculum and instruction at gr ace christian School. “instead of reducing programs and opportunities, we continue to enhance and add quality to our programs. “gr ace utilizes diverse teaching methods, experiential learning and the latest technology to prepare all students to effectively succeed in college and career while impacting their world for christ,” adds Taylor, who has a secondgrader at gr ace. in fact, the academic focus in private schools may be stronger than some realize. The national assessment of Educational Progress (n aEP) reported private school students had a higher percentage of reaching basic, proficient and advanced levels in 2009 in both math and reading than public school students.

Dell cook, rhetoric school principal at cary christian School, says cary christian ’s curriculum is classical in both form and content. “our students are exposed to and learn from the great ideas and works of the western tradition – from Plato to Plutarch, from aristotle to augustine, from Euclid to Pascal, from rembr andt to renoir, from Beethoven to Bernstein.

“We also draw from and employ a classical methodology known as the “Trivium” (meaning three-fold path), which emphasizes the grammar (the fundamental facts and rules), logic (the ordered relationship of particulars) and rhetoric (the beautiful expression in speech and writing of the ideas) of every discipline.” a n uR tuRin g enviRonMent other parents simply want their children to have more one-on-one attention and encouragement while learning, something that can be hard to come by in public schools with class sizes increasing and state budgets shrinking. at least that’s how Taylor of gr ace christian feels: “We provide numerous opportunities for students to grow academically and spiritually in a loving, safe environment.” car ylivin

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Grace Christian uses the latest technologies to prepare students for their future studies.

r esurrection l utheran School in c ary is a perfect fit for parent Karen r ochester. “i see the development of leaders in these classes, having small, individualized attention. They’re very well-supported; they’re told how special and unique they are because of g od’s love for them and they get that point. That develops their confidence and they carry themselves a little farther. it’s not just the religion classes that bring that home for them, but i think that helps them develop a sense of pride, and that turns them into leaders.”

Reso u Rces a lthough budgets are always considered at any school, private school parents are used to funding schools – first in the form of tuition, but also as other requests arise, whether for technology, supplies, additional instruction or special programs. “it’s a joy to be a teacher at this school,” says l isa v onSprecken, a middle school math teacher at rl S. “We’re so blessed here with students, administrative support and parental support. We have the materials that we need to teach; we have flexibility in the classroom. it’s really a teacher’s dream to come and focus on a subject that you’re passionate about and have freedom and flexibility.” in the classroom, the private schools we talked with all utilized high-end technology like interactive white boards, electronic responders, laptops, desktops, iPads and document cameras. Trips were planned, often for community service projects or team building.

The community service aspect of private schooling is another thing parents appreciate. in fact, the n ational c enter for Education Statistics reported 42 percent of students attending churchrelated schools in 1999 were required to complete community service and that opportunities were arranged for them, compared with just 17 percent of students in public schools.

“Every year our senior class travels to c osta r ica, not for a senior trip but to work in orphanages, schools and churches and to serve underprivileged and needy children,” says c ook. “We love to

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see our students develop their minds in order that their hands may act for the betterment of others.”

Lea Rnin g the f aith more than 65 percent of a mericans reported that religion is an important part of their lives, according to a 2009 g allup Poll, which doesn’t surprise c ook of c ary c hristian. “many families long for an educational environment where their faith is integrated into their child’s learning culture,” says c ook, adding the school is non-denominational, with students coming from 55 different church congregations. “They sense that the values of the home are reinforced by the values of the school. “o ur parents are committed to the notion that all truth is g od’s truth and that what one believes with relation to the nature of g od relates to and effects every other question,” c ook continues. “a secular public school is fundamentally committed to remaining neutral on the issue of the nature of g od.” a nd many parents want their children to learn about c hristianity and faith at a young age, hoping it will be with them the rest of their lives, as is the case with l aura Steckbeck, once a student at rl S and now a middle c reek High School student. “rl S gave me a c hristian education, so i have those core values – and even if there are people at my school who don’t have those values, i still keep mine,” says Steckbeck. “it’s not like they sway me at all, and so i have a strong foundation.” r osie c reasy, director of admissions and school development at rl S, adds: “Parents understand the importance of reinforcing c hristian values in their children as they are developing. Faith

IF CONSIDERING A PRIVATE SCHOOL • Resurrection Lutheran School: Open for ten years, RLS serves students in K through eighth grades. For more information, visit www.rlscary.org.

• Cary Christian School: Open for 15 years, this non-denominational school serves 800 students in grades K-12.

For more information, visit www.carychristianschool.org.

• Grace Christian: Founded in 1984, the school has two campuses – one for kindergarten through sixth grade and one for seventh through 12th grade. Also non-denominational, the school serves 492 students. For more information, visit www.gracechristian.net

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Cary Christian’s curriculum draws from a three-fold method that focuses on grammar, logic and rhetoric.

formation is critical in the early and middle years, and builds confidence in young adults.”

When it comes to religious schooling, denomination does not trump all. mom to new rl S student, Kelly morf says: “We’re not l utheran; we’re Presbyterian and very active in our own church.

We don’t feel any different here. We’ve been welcomed with open arms, and they were open to the fact that we were not interested in becoming l utheran; we’re interested in raising our children in a c hristian environment and to love and honor everyone.” g race c hristian School is non-denominational as well, and attracts students from many branches of the c hristian faith. “We want to equip, challenge and inspire students to love learning, think critically, and apply their knowledge and wisdom to affect their world for c hrist,” says Taylor.

Resu Lts Finally, parents like the results that come from private schools. l ast year at c ary c hristian, four of its 57 graduates were n ational merit Finalists, with many others receiving scholarship offers. rl S has received dual accreditation by both the n ational l utheran Schools and a dvanceED (Southern a ssociation of c olleges and Schools). a nd g race c hristian is accredited by both a dvancED and ac Si

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At Resurrection Lutheran School, students get individual attention in both academic and extracurricular activities.

(a ssociation of c hristian Schools international); g race’s average Sa T score for 2011-2012 was 1,783. a dvice f o R pa Rents if you’ve ever considered private schooling for your children, there are a few things to consider. “i would encourage parents to investigate all of their school options. Each child is different, and each school has a different feel,” says c reasy of rl S. “Parents know where their child will thrive, and they can get a sense of the school environment as soon as they walk through the door.” c ook, with c ary c hristian, adds: “i would encourage them to choose a school that reinforces their most basic and fundamental beliefs and that connects those beliefs to everyday life and learning.”

Taylor, with g race c hristian, recommends visiting schools, including reading the newsletter and publications and attending sporting events to get a sense of the school’s climate and culture. in other words, do your homework.

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When Life Gives You

LEMONS Jennifer Varner shares how made the tastiest lemonade around.

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By iLLyse LAne

By the time Jennifer v arner was pregnant with her fourth child, she’d gotten quite used to juggling the whole working/wife/mother thing. She had settled in nicely to a routine, as head of PureEcommerce.com, a company that sells turnkey websites along with consulting services. at the ages of five, seven and eight, her three children were just stepping out of the very needy phase. and she and her husband, Jeff, had just returned from chicago, where they had celebrated his tenyear cancer-free anniversary. She wasn’t going to be easily thrown for a loop.

That is, until she found out that she had invasive breast cancer.

The diA gn osis Having just begun her fourth month of pregnancy, the shock and confusion v arner felt was understandable. For about two weeks after being diagnosed, v arner would get up, stare at the wall, and then, go into the shower and cry, basically scheduling her grief so her children wouldn’t see her upset. “it’s very hard to be creating life while fighting for your life,” says v arner. “y ou are not supposed to be doing that.”

To make her emotional state even more volatile, v arner was frustrated that she had done all the right things, but had been misdiagnosed. “i had felt a lump,” says v arner. “i had a mammogram and ultrasound, but a biopsy was not ordered, and unfortunately, unless you get that biopsy, there is no way to know for sure.”

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Varner’s youngest son, Kilian, served as the inspiration behind Kilian’s Kids.

The Figh T it could have been easy for v arner to give up, a thought that she had considered. a fter all, her family was no stranger to cancer, with her husband surviving colon cancer a decade earlier. She knew what was in store for her, and the thought of having her children watch her struggle with cancer was almost too much for her to bear.

But instead, the pregnancy served as a constant reminder to fight, making sure she was alive to see her baby. She quickly enlisted the help of a breast cancer consultant, who helped her figure out how to fully dedicate herself to her health. l earning about the most recent studies with regards to food, vegetables and treatments, v arner began juicing, eating seven to ten servings of vegetables a day, and exercising, continuing the regime throughout her treatment, which included chemo and radiation.

“With cancer, the odds only matter if you are on the right side of the odds. i took control of the situation and did everything i could do within my power to get rid of my cancer, and minimize the side effects of the treatment,” she remembers. “it would be very easy to become a victim, because you are a victim, but i didn’t want to see the shock on people’s faces when they looked at a bald pregnant women.”

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“Jennifer’s strength and determination is truly incredible.I am honored to have her as my wife and as the mother of our children,” says husband Jeff.

A BABy Arrives Kilian Scott v arner was born a healthy, strong baby on January 18th, 2010.

But there was no time for enjoying those hectic yet precious newborn weeks, as v arner stuck to a strict treatment schedule, which included chemo and radiation. it was emotionally draining. “it was hard to leave him, because it was such a reality that i had a baby and i had cancer. i should have been home enjoying him,” says v arner. v arner would finally get the chance to truly enjoy Kilian in June, when she was released from radiation, bringing closure to her cancer experience.

But even though she was given the clean bill of health, and in a strange twist of fate, had gotten in the best shape she’d ever been in, the emotional effects of cancer were still very much present. So she decided to do something about it.

MAkin g s wee T Le Mon Ade “i wanted to do something to honor my son, and that tied into what i do for a living but wasn’t the traditional pink ribbon thing,” says v arner.

Enter Kilian’s Kids, an organization dedicated to giving children with life-threatening illness items such as computers, iPod Touches and iPads to stay connected to the outside world and their families while undergoing treatment in the hospital. “Being connected and being occupied was tremendously helpful to me when i was going through treatment,” says v arner.

Three times a year, v arner’s company auctions off websites, where all the proceeds are donated to Kilian’s Kids. To date, Kilian’s Kids has worked primarily with r onald mcDonald House, where, in addition to providing individual gifts for children, it has also provided Thanksgiving dinner and a Wii gaming system for the families staying there. “it’s all about need, wherever it comes from. if someone knows of someone and we have the ability to help them, we will do it,” says v arner. a nd now that life has adjusted back to “normal”, v arner carries her message of strength and giving back with her each day, with Kilian’s Kids serving as a reminder of what can be accomplished when you can take those lemons to make lemonade. “Early on a friend told me that i was bigger than cancer, and i carried that with me, says v arner. “c ancer gives you the ability to be ultra strong and believe that everything is possible.” car ylivin

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favoritethings!

| wine review

a few of my

BY APRIL SCHLANGER, OWNER, SIP…A WINE STORE

I love wine, beer and anything that can enhance my beverage experience. Here is a list of not only my favorite items of the year, but some of the most popular items we have carried. Cheers to a joyous and fun New Year!

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1. Stem Straps For those of you that just can’t balance a plate of food, a wine glass and your cell phone, we have the solution: a stem strap. This is handsfree drinking at its best.

2.’09 Miner Viognier, California The wine is feisty and full of citrus and honeysuckle notes on the nose and a plush feel on the palate. This quintessential food wine was whole cluster pressed and stainless steel fermented to allow the vibrant, tropical and stone fruit characteristics of this varietal to shine. Available in full and half size bottles.

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3. Red Light Chocolates, Homemade Caramels These locally made candies are made with fresh cream, Madagascar vanilla beans, French Fleur de Sel and no high fructose corn syrup.

4. ’08 Lionel Maurel, “Yo No Puedo Mas” It is different, sometimes ornery, sometimes gracious. It offers a deep purple wine with a romas and flavors of mandarin orange rind, spices, red and black berries, plums and a touch of barnyard. Well balanced with ripe tannins and ample acidity, this wine could rock a pig pickin’ party or even an elegant dinner.

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5. Tatsuuma Honke, Plum Infused Sake The unique, original sake with Japanese Plum juice is sweet and refreshing. I love it cold with sushi or Thai food, but it makes the best champagne cocktail.

6. Uinta BABA Black Lager This beer is not only certified organic, but it’s one of the best winter beers around. Rich, robust and smooth, it’s a full-flavored lager that is pitch black in color with a lovely finish.

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L O C AT E D I N H I S T O R I C DOWNTOWN APEX

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calendar

o F e vent S

JANUARY | FEBRUARY 2012

DR. MICHAEL WALDEN PRESENTS THE ECONOMIC FORECAST January 4 | 8am | Prestonwood Country Club | 300 Prestonwood Parkway Cary | dcarroll@carychamber.com

DREAM OF UNITY OBSERVANCE January 16 | 6pm Herbert C. Young Community Center 101 Wilkinson Avenue | Cary www.friendsofpagewalker.org

CAROL STEIN’S GARDENERS FORUM “ATTRACTING BLUEBIRDS” January 14 | 11am | The Garden Hut 1004 Old Honeycutt Road | Fuquay-Varina www.NelsasGardenHut.com

WATER SOLUBLE OILS CLASS January 18, 25 | 10am-12pm The Nature of Art | 870 Sunrise Drive Garner | 919-553-5633 www.TheNatureOfArtFrameShop.com

FRIENDS OF THE PAGE-WALKER HOTEL WINTER CONCERT SERIES PRESENTS BRAZILIAN SOUL January 15 | 4-6pm | Page Walker Arts & History Center | 119 Ambassador Loop Cary | www.friendsofpagewalker.org

LES ENFANTS TERRIBLES (CHILDREN OF THE GAME) January 19, 20 | 8pm January 22 | 3pm | Fletcher Opera Theater | Progress Energy Center Raleigh | www.progressenergycenter.com

MLK DREAMFEST CELEBRATION January 15 | Page Walker Arts & History Center | 119 Ambassador Loop | Cary www.friendsofpagewalker.org

COREN MOORE TRUNK SHOW January 20-21 Bella Bridesmaid | Lochmere Pavilion Shopping Center | 2425 Kildaire Farm Road | Suite 305 | Cary www.bellabridesmaid.com

A DAY IN THE STUDIO WITH ARTIST ANN HAIR January 21 & February 25 10:30am-3pm | Chambers Arts Gallery 200 South Academy Street | Suite 130 Cary | www.chambersarts.com WINTER WONDERLAND AT BOND PARK January 23 & 24 10am-12pm, 1-3pm & 3:30-5:30pm 919-469-4100 FRIENDS OF THE PAGE-WALKER HOTEL PRESERVATION SPEAKER SERIES PRESENTS “WHO IS THAT GUY? THE STORY BEHIND THE CARY MURAL” January 24 | 7:30pm | Page Walker Arts & History Center | 119 Ambassador Loop Cary | www.friendsofpagewalker.org EYE OPENER BREAKFAST “STATE OF THE TOWN” ADDRESS January 25 | 8am | Prestonwood Country Club | 300 Prestonwood Parkway Cary | dcarroll@carychamber.com JANUARY/FEBRUARY FEATURED ARTISTS: JILL CICCONE PIKE & CYNTHIA MOLLENKOPF January 27-February 21 Opening Reception: January 27 | 6-8pm Cary Gallery of Artists | 200 S. Academy Street | Suite 120 | Cary | Ashworth Village | www.carygalleryofartists.org

AMSALE TRUNK SHOW January 20-21 Bella Bridesmaid | Lochmere Pavilion Shopping Center | 2425 Kildaire Farm Road | Suite 305 | Cary www.bellabridesmaid.com

KIRIBILLA TRUNK SHOW January 27-28 Bella Bridesmaid | Lochmere Pavilion Shopping Center | 2425 Kildaire Farm Road | Suite 305 | Cary www.bellabridesmaid.com

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KINDERVILLAGE MUSIC STUDIO GRAND OPENING OF NEW STUDIO January 28 | 9:30am-12:30pm 2425 Kildaire Farm Road | Suite 405 Cary | 919 467-4398

PRUNING DEMO WITH HORTICULTURIST NELSA COX February 11 | 11am | The Garden Hut 1004 Old Honeycutt Road | Fuquay-Varina www.NelsasGardenHut.com

FAT TUESDAY BENEFIT FOR MEALS ON WHEELS OF WAKE COUNTY – THE TRIANGLE’S PREMIERE MARDI GRAS February 21 | 6pm | North Ridge Country Club | Raleigh | www.wakemow.org

CARY ARTS CENTER MARVELOUS MUSIC CONCERT SERIES PRESENTS: NNENNA FREELON January 28 | 7:30pm Cary Arts Center | 101 Dry Avenue | Cary www.townofcary.org

HAMMERED SILVER JEWELRY CLASS February 11 | 1-3pm The Nature of Art | 870 Sunrise Drive Garner | 919-553-5633 www.TheNatureOfArtFrameShop.com

FEBRUARY/MARCH FEATURED ARTISTS: ANN HOWE & EMILY LEES February 24-March 27 Opening Reception: February 24 6-8pm Cary Gallery of Artists 200 S. Academy Street | Suite 120 Cary | Ashworth Village www.carygalleryofartists.org

BRIDAL SHOWCASE 2012 January 29 | 1-4pm The Carolina Inn | 211 Pittsboro Street Chapel Hill | www.carolinainn.com DADDY-DAUGHTER DANCE February 3 & 4 | 6-9pm Cary Senior Center | 120 Maury O’Dell Place | Cary | 919-462-3970 AND THEN THERE WERE NONE

BY AGATHA CHRISTIE February 3, 4 & 9-11 | 7:30pm February 5 & 12 | 3pm Cary Arts Center | 101 Dry Avenue | Cary www.caryplayers.org

FRIENDS OF THE PAGE-WALKER HOTEL WINTER CONCERT SERIES PRESENTS BRIAN REAGIN February 12 | 4-6pm | Page Walker Arts & History Center | 119 Ambassador Loop Cary | www.friendsofpagewalker.org CARY ARTS CENTER MARVELOUS MUSIC CONCERT SERIES PRESENTS: EILEEN IVERS AND IMMIGRANT SOUL February 18 | 7:30pm Cary Arts Center | 101 Dry Avenue | Cary www.townofcary.org

THE CARY TOWN BAND PRESENTS: HUZZAH! THE OLD NORTH STATE February 24 | 7:30pm Cary Arts Center Theater 101 Dry Avenue | Cary www.carytownband.org 10TH ANNUAL IGNITED BY TRUTH CATHOLIC CONFERENCE February 24-25 North Carolina State Fairgrounds Jim Graham Building | 1025 Blue Ridge Road | Raleigh | www.ignitedbytruth.com

SHEN YUN 2012 February 7-8 | 7:30pm Raleigh Memorial Auditorium 2 East South Street | Raleigh www.shenyun2012.com INTERMEDIATE WATERCOLOR CLASS February 8, 15, 22 | 10am-12pm The Nature of Art | 870 Sunrise Drive Garner | 919-553-5633 www.TheNatureOfArtFrameShop.com Send u S y our e vent S Community events you would like published in the calendar can be emailed to myra@caryliving.com.

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Make This Valentine’s

Sweeter

HAND-MADE CHOCOLATES SINCE 1984 Truffles • Nut Clusters & More • Favors • Welcome Bags Boxed Chocolates • Gift Baskets • Homemade Fudge Sugar Free Chocolates & Candies Molded Chocolates • Company Logo in Chocolate

(919) 469-5282 312 W. Chatham St. Ste 101 • Cary www.ChocolateSmiles.com

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COMING UP IN THE NEXT

2012 SPRING FASHION Cary Living’s guide to choosing the must-have pieces for your spring wardrobe. From colorful dresses and heels to handbags and jewelry – great looks from local boutiques!

HOMEBUILDING OR HOME BUYING Whether you are thinking of building or buying a new home, you are living in the right area.

We talk with builders, realtors and bankers about making your new home a reality.

SUPERIOR SPAS The spa choices are endless, just like the sensational services they offer – so how do you choose the right spa or the right treatment for yourself? We take you inside the state’s best spas for a look at their most unique and most popular treatments.

FARM FRESH Great tips from farmers on picking the best fruits and veggies at the farmer’s market!

every issue

• SIGHTINGS • HEALTHY LIVING TIPS • CHEF’S CORNER • CALENDAR OF EVENTS • TALK OF THE TOWN • & MUCH MORE!

Look for the MARCH | APRIL edition on shelves the first week of March.

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bridal guide 2012

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BRIDAL GUIDE 2012

Just what you need TO help plan your special day

If you’re reading this sentence, chances are you have a sparkly ring on your left ring finger. And let’s be honest. There’s something about having that diamond that makes you transform.

Suddenly, the future is incredibly clear.

You’ve gotten your wish, and you’re going to be married. Now, it’s all about planning for the special day. There are dresses to be tried on,

ceremonies to be planned and parties to be orchestrated. And that’s just the top of the list.

How will you keep it all straight?

The modern bride is lucky. In addition to traditional wedding planners that are available at your local bookstore, you also have a wealth of information available to you at the tap of your finger. Apps such as BRIDES Wedding Genius, iWedding Deluxe, Wedding Budget and the Wedding Dress Look Book can add ease to the entire planning process. And let’s not forget social media sites that allow you to quickly share and collect information, allowing you to simplify your to-dos even more.

This perfect blend of modern technology and tradition makes it quite enviable to be a bride these days. Just ask recently engaged Cassidy Harris, 22. While she has become extremely reliant on her wedding planner book, she’s also become a fan of Pinterest, a site where members use pinboards to organize and

The reception Joey Nortridge, special events manager and Sondra Johnstone, director of food and beverage operations, both of Prestonwood Country Club, know that in order to have a rocking reception, careful planning is essential. So they make it their business to help brides and grooms have the smoothest experience possible. Here, they offer their tips for party planning success.

BEFORE YOU LOOK • CONSIDER YOUR TIME FRAME: If you want to get a married in prime wedding months – May, June, September or October – you’ll need a minimum of 12 months to find a place. Any less time, it may be challenging to get your ceremony site and reception site to coordinate. But the good news is that many venues are ready to hold your ceremony on site. Just ask.

• RESEARCH: “The internet offers a very convenient way to narrow down your choices,” suggests Johnstone. “Read the reviews and take them seriously.”

• KNOW YOUR DESIRED EXPERIENCE: Weddings are very personal. Knowing if you want an all-inclusive experience, where you will not have to deal with different ven-

dors, or if you want to take care of more of the details on your own is important.

• HAVE A GUEST LIST AND A BUDGET IN MIND. “The two are intertwined,” says Nortridge. “It can be difficult to judge your capacity a range of 100-300 people makes it hard to find the perfect spot.” Knowing you have a set amount of money to work with will allow you to determine where you want to spend your dollars.

WHEN VISITING A VENUE • HAVING THE VENUE WANT TO GIVE YOU INFORMATION: This may sound silly, but make sure you are working with someone that is interested in your party.

“They should want to ask questions, develop a relationship with you and give you a proposal,” says Nortridge.

• THE CONFIDENCE FACTOR: Trust your gut. You should work with someone who makes you feel comfortable. Ask if your primary contact will be present for your wedding reception. If you request more information upon leaving the venue, notice how long the response time takes. “The person you are working with should be

display their favorite things and share them with their Pinterest friends.

“It’s nice to have people comment on my wedding theme board, but mostly, it is useful for me to help explain my vision,” says Harris.

While Harris’ vision is still in the early stages – she only knows for sure that there will be at least five women in the bridal party and she wants her dress to be strapless - she is sure that she’s ahead of the game and in control of the planning process.

But just to makes sure, Cary Living is here to help. Our local experts have opened their doors and shared their expertise. They’ve shared what’s in style and how to make sure you get what you want. They’ve talked about the importance of knowing your budget and having confidence in your vendors. They’ve let us in on what you should ask for and what you should expect leading up to and on your big day. So read on and let us help you.

© PRESTONWOOD COUNTRY CLUB

© STACEY JONES & SALLY HARRIS

By ILLYSE LANE

willing to talk to you as often as needed and turn requests around quickly,” says Nortridge.

• PREFERRED VENDOR LIST: Many venues have a list of vendors, such as florists, photographers and caterers. If you have someone particular in mind, check to make sure the venue will allow you to bring that vendor in. Check references and make sure you work with individuals that are licensed and have insurance.

• FOOD AND BEVERAGES: A cocktail hour? Buffet stations? A plated dinner?

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BRIDAL GUIDE 2012 This would be the time to inquire as to what your options are for food and drinks. Understand what is being offered in terms of menu choices and packages, as well as what kind of bar will be offered. Discuss any special requests, including those for ethnic types of food. You’d be surprised at how many facilities can accommodate your requests.

BEFORE COMMITTING: • READ OVER THE CONTRACT CAREFULLY: It’s all in the details. Make sure you know what’s included in your contract and ask question such as the extent of time you have the room for, if there is cleanup involved, does the venue provide linens and what involves extra fees. You don’t want any surprises.

• ASK FOR A TOTAL RECEPTION ESTIMATE: “This includes your fees, taxes, bar estimates and gratuities,” says Johnstone. This will really help you determine where you want to spend your money, and is important if you are working within a budget.”

Most importantly, you want to be swept away upon walking into the venue you choose. Once you are able to imagine yourself in the setting, it’ll be easy to make the party your own – which, according to our experts, is the key to a successful reception. “When you tailor it to you and take the time to plan, you’ll have the best time possible,” says Johnstone.

Which is exactly what you want out of your wedding day.

The jewels © STONEHAVEN JEWELRY GALLERY

When it comes to jewelry, your engagement ring is only the first step. Wedding day jewelry is an essential, whether it’s the wedding rings, accessories for your wedding dress, or a gift for your groom or bridesmaids.

To get exactly what you want, it may be time to design your own jewelry. “A custom designed, handcrafted piece can exceed your expectations,” says Ron Lodholz of Stonehaven Jewelry Gallery.

So how do you begin the design process?

First, seek out a professional you’re comfortable with. Then explore all the different ways custom jewelry can fit into your special day: THE WEDDING RING Your wedding ring will be an everyday reminder of the day you decided to take the vow of marriage. “It will also be a conversation starter, so make it special and make it your own,” says Lodholz.

And don’t think that custom has to mean very expensive. “Regardless of your budget, you can create a timeless piece that will tell a story for generations to come,” says Lodholz.

Your jeweler should sit down and talk with you, getting to know you and your groom’s personality as well as your history. This will make your design a true reflection of the love you share and the life you intend to build together. You should also discuss the type of ring you envision. So what’s popular now?

• Platinum is still the most prominent choice for men and women, and the traditional gold band is always in style.

• For men, alternative metals such as titanium and palladium are in.

• Colored stones are gaining in popularity, but diamonds are always a girl’s best friend.

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© STONEHAVEN JEWELRY GALLERY

© STONEHAVEN JEWELRY GALLERY

© BEAUTIMOUS BEADS

BRIDAL GUIDE 2012

WEDDING DRESS ACCESSORIES “Creating exceptionally unique pieces of jewlery is one of our specialties.

We work with brides to make sure they get the right piece,” says Bridgette Bordonaro of Beautimous Beads.

From Swarovski crystals, pearls, and other semi-precious stones to long pendants, sterling silver and gold-filled beads, you’ll have the opportunity to add a twist to the traditional. And if you’re not exactly sure what you’re looking for, there’s no need to worry. “We can use photos for inspiration, or you can bring in your dress,” says Bordonaro. The key is sharing a bit of yourself to make sure you get something that reflects your personality.

WEDDING DAY GIFTS Want to design a pair of cufflinks for your groom? Treat your bridesmaids to a special bracelet? A custom designed piece is a sure-proof way to show that you care. “We once had a bride design a set of cufflinks for a groom using both a Canadian and U.S. penny to symbolize where he was from,” remembers Lodholz. “This became a keepsake for years to come.”

“It’s your wedding day, and nothing makes more sense than getting exactly what you want for yourself and the special people around you,” says Bordonaro. “A handmade piece of jewelry made for each individual can make a very special gift.” And if you are feeling apprehensive about making such a personal decision, consider having a jewelry-making party, where you can spend quality time with your bridal party before the big day arrives, and create something together that will serve as a reminder of your cherished relationships.

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BRIDAL GUIDE 2012

Kristen herrmann

Married May 7, 2011 to Nathan Herrmann

© BIG STAR STUDIOS

Kristen Herrmann, 24, had always dreamed of a Southern wedding, taking her vows under an old moss tree. But recognizing that the 300 or so guests may not be able to make a trip further south for the festivities, she found the perfect alternative. “We had our reception at The Howard House in Dunn,” says Kristen. “It has a big porch, columns, tall ceilings, and a very Southern feel.”

But before the reception came the ceremony, taking place at Butler Chapel on the campus of Campbell University, in nearly the exact spot where Kristen first met her groom, Nathan. “It was freshman orientation and my friend and I decided to talk to Nathan and his friend. And they just did not speak to us!” she remembers with a laugh.

Nathan finally figured out that it would be in his best interest to get to know Kristen. And when he proposed, Kristen began planning for a day she had dreamed about for quite a while. “My mom and I worked to add details that made it very special, original and let everyone feel connected.”

This included replacing the traditional guest book at the church with a photo book highlighting pictures from Kristen and Nathan’s relationship, a program that included bios of all the bridesmaids and groomsmen so guests could understand their connection to the couple, and having each of her seven bridesmaids carry one specific color in her bouquet, while Kristen followed, with a bouquet made up of all seven colors. During the ceremony, Kristen stood next to Nathan in her stunning lace dress with a keyhole back while they shared why they fell in love with each other. “It was a surprise to each of us, we didn’t share them ahead of time,” says Kristen.

As the couple left the church, the bells chimed, and guests then headed to the reception, where they were greeted by 12 tables on the expansive porch, each with unique centerpieces that included various tropical, elegant flowers and even goldfish. “I really wanted to make it different, and to continue to surprise our guests,” says Kristen.

Games in the yard, a dance floor with hanging lights, and a photo booth added to the charm of the party, with the various rooms in the home set up to accommodate traditional Southern fare. And for dessert, a chocolate fountain, with five different cakes including key lime pie and mocha, were offered.

But the most touching moment of the night came in a video that showed Kristen throughout the years. Towards the end, Kristen is seen as a little girl wearing a wedding dress, spinning around with her father as she danced to Butterfly Kisses. Through the use of movie magic, Kristen transitions from that little girl into her present-day self, spinning around in her lace wedding dress. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day.

“We really wanted people just to have fun,” says Kristen. “And it felt exactly like everyone was coming back to our home to celebrate with us.”

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BRIDAL GUIDE 2012

the flowers

© COURTNEY VANKLEEK

While you’ll be taking center stage come wedding day, your flowers will play an essential supporting role. From the ceremony to the reception, the flowers you choose will add to the feel of your entire day, so it’s important to make sure you work with a florist who can meet your needs. Julia Barry of Blossom Shop offers the following guidelines to make sure your flowers are spectacular: THE FIRST STEP: “A good first step is to give a call to the florist you are thinking about working with and get a feel for the shop,” recommends Barry.

THEN, VISIT: The designer should discuss your budget, estimates and most importantly, the types of flowers that will be available come wedding day. Look at the variety and quality of the flowers in the shop. And, keep in mind that certain seasons favor certain types of flowers: • Winter through spring: freesia, orchids and tulips • Summer: hydrangeas, roses and peonies

© BLOSSOM SHOP

LOOK FOR CHEMISTRY: You’ll be working closely with your florist, so make sure you jell. “Too many times I have seen wedding consultants stop listening to what the bride wants and instead, tell them what they want to see them have,” says Barry. “Your florist should be listening to your ideas.”

BE CREATIVE WITH YOUR APPROACH: It’s more than your bouquets and boutonnieres. Consider altar arrangements, pew markers, centerpieces, buffet arrangements, cake flowers and throwaway bouquets. Additionally, consider when flowers can serve double duty. “Depending on the venue, we may suggest altar arrangements being moved to the reception area for the buffet table or to the entrance as the guests arrive,” says Barry.

WHAT ARE THE TRENDS NOW? • FOR THE BRIDE: The hand-tied bouquet is still the number one request, with hydrangeas being the most popular choice.

• FOR THE ATTENDANTS: Barry finds that 98% of her brides choose either a looser look or the tight compact look over a cascading bouquet.

• COLOR: Dependent on the season and the bridesmaids’ dresses. Shade of pink, green and creams are popular, as well as blue with soft yellows or creamy white.

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BRIDAL GUIDE 2012

© KRYSTAL KAST PHOTOGRAPHY

The dress

Let’s be honest. It’s really all about the dress. With all eyes on you, how can it not be?

SHOPPING STRATEGIES Whether you already have your dream dress in mind, or you’re going with a list to choose from, Liz Pogue, owner of Gorgeous Gowns, has a few suggestions before you begin shopping: • Determine your price range: Research the bridal shops that will fit into your budget, and stick to those stores. “Falling in love with a gown that is out of your price range will either break your budget or break your heart,” says Pogue.

• Think about the details: Knowing what kind of fabric, style, shape or even “bling” you may be want can help narrow your choices down.

• Keep an open mind: Trust the consultant. “I find many times we bring a gown for the bride to try on that wasn’t an exact match to her original details, but that is exactly the gown she ends up loving,” says Pogue.

• To share or not to share: Consider who you’ll be shopping with. While it’s exciting to have a whole entourage, it may be more difficult to make a decision when you have so much input.

• Trust your gut: Listen to your own instincts to make sure you end up with what you want. “Just remember when you decide on your dream dress, stop looking,” recommends Pogue.

And when should you begin your shopping? At least nine to 12 months prior to your wedding date. Remember, your dress will need to be ordered and there will be alterations, so start as early as possible.

STYLE ALERT! You’ll surely be turning heads in your dress. What will you most likely be wearing?

Here’s what’s hot now: • A-line • Fit and flair • Ball gowns • Soft flowing chiffon or silk gowns • And an emerging trend – the short dress BRIDESMAIDS STYLE Christy Carver of Raleigh Bella Bridesmaid specializes in making sure your bridesmaids will be well dressed come the big day. How do you choose a dress that makes everyone happy?

• “More brides are allowing their bridesmaid to choose the style that they

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BRIDAL GUIDE 2012 feel most comfortable with,” says Carver. “The bride will choose the designer and color, with each bridesmaid wearing the same dress in different styles.”

• Brides are choosing dresses that can be worn again. And Carver offers these suggestions for making sure you get that next wear: • For the silk shantung and dupioni dresses, make the hem right above the knee, add a cardigan or blazer with a pair of flats and off to the office you go.

• For the silk crinkle chiffon dress, add a high heel and a wide belt for a dinner party, or dress it down with a pair of cowboy boots, a jean jacket, a big bangle bracelet and fun earrings.

WHAT’S TRENDING NOW? • The silk crinkle chiffon, with its airy feel and flow, looks elegant and sophisticated, and flatters all body styles.

• Spring and summer brides are choosing the lime, guava and violet colors.

• Fall and winter brides go toward the wine and navy palette.

• “The two colors that I feel are versatile to the seasons are champagne and charcoal,” says Carver.

the (cup) cake © A CUPCAKE DIVA

Having a wedding cake is always an option for your reception. But brides today are thinking out of the box. And the most popular choice? Cupcakes.

While some brides choose to serve only cupcakes, many choose to pair the traditional, tiered wedding cake with a display of cupcakes, giving guests even more options during dessert. “Cupcakes and mini cupcakes offer more variety,” says Michaele Woodhouse of A Cupcake Diva. “Brides often say that they are very pleased to be able to offer several choices in a way that is easy for guests.”

And it doesn’t get much easier than walking up to the dessert display and choosing any number of delectable flavored cupcakes to enjoy.

Through creative presentations, such as candelabra-type plates with crystals, glass blocks with height differences, and natural elements such as moss, brides can showcase their dessert options in interesting ways, playing up the wedding theme. “You can go casual or elegant with cupcakes; it all depends on what you are looking for,” says Woodhouse. “There are lots of opportunities to add flair.”

So when it comes to choosing your cupcakes, what flavors are the most popular? Chocolate, vanilla, lemon and carrot cake continue to be favorites, pleasing almost every palate. But concoctions such as caramel toffee crunch and red velvet are often used when brides are looking to add a little bit of their own touch to the party. And if you want to make sure all your guests can indulge, check with your baker to make sure that special requests can be handled. “We have created both vegan and gluten-free cupcakes,” says Woodhouse. “They have really taken on a life of their own.”

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BRIDAL GUIDE 2012

© CUTE BUTTONS GIFT AND PAPER BOUTIQUE

the INVITes

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Your invitation is your guest’s first chance to get a feel for what to expect come wedding day. So you want to make sure you are sending the right message. “We tell our brides to look for invitations that speak to them,’” says Alison Kim Perry, owner of Cute Buttons Gift and Paper Boutique.

But with thousands – yes, you read it correctly – of invitations to choose from, how do you pick only one? Perry suggests the following: NARROW YOUR FOCUS: Do you want traditional, eclectic or trendy? “There is no wrong style,” says Perry. Consider your wedding colors, theme, paper style, and special touches such as a monogram, and try to narrow it down to no more than four looks by the time you meet with your local stationer.

And about your local stationer…having the chance to touch and hold your paper can really make a difference when choosing an invitation. Shopping locally provides that opportunity, as well as being able to work with your shop on the proper layout and wording of your entire paper suite.

CONSIDER YOUR BUDGET: Perry reminds us that “budget” is not a bad word. “Let the word guide you in the process. Our brides have several wedding vendors to pay. It is important to figure out where your paper needs fit into the overall picture,” says Perry.

And by paper needs…while you think you may be only going shopping for invitations, you will quickly learn that there are other paper needs to be considered, such as save-the-date cards, programs, menu cards, place cards and thank-you notes. But never fear, there are beautiful products available at every price point.

WHAT’S HOT NOW? • Color is back! Rich reds, greens, blues, plums and even pinks.

• Pockets provide a well-dressed way to neatly package all of the accessory cards.

• Monograms are a favorite because both brides and grooms like seeing their single initials on the invitations in a variety of styles – preppy, traditional, elegant, whimsical and modern.

• Font styles are all about showcasing your personality. Whether you love a girly, scripted look or a modern combination of block and script fonts, the right combination can be perfect for emphasizing certain parts of the paper suite.

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BRIDAL GUIDE 2012 ETIQUETTE TO CONSIDER: “The rules of etiquette for wedding invitations are different than those for party invitations,” says Perry. And even the most modern, technologically savvy brides are still interested in incorporating traditional etiquette when it comes to wording invitations. Perry suggests keeping the following in mind: • It’s not okay to put registry information on your invitation.

• There is a proper way to let your guests know that you are not inviting children to the wedding…and your guests will not be offended.

• The rules for addressing envelopes are different for single and double sets.

Kelly Dobler

Married May 28, 2011 to Lance Dobler

© DARA BLAKELEY PHOTOGRAPHY

Who says passing notes are for school kids? It’s exactly what Lance Dobler did when he noticed his now wife Kelly working at the gym one summer when the two were home from college. “He started leaving notes on what he thought was my car,” says Kelly, 27. “When Lance asked a friend why I never responded, he learned he was leaving them on the wrong car.”

The effort was just enough to spark a conversation between Kelly and Lance, and the rest, as they say, is history. Last May, nearly eight and a half years after that summer, the two tied the knot.

“I moved in 2004 for pharmaceutical school, and soon after, Lance moved,” says Kelly. “We thought that getting married here would be a great way for our family to see the life we’ve made for ourselves.”

The bride and groom kicked off the wedding festivities with a rehearsal dinner at Spanky’s Restaurant & Bar in Chapel Hill, a place where they spent quite a bit of time when Kelly was in school. And while the following day, Kelly, in her strapless gown, headed back to Chapel Hill with her nine bridesmaids to be married at the Chapel of the Cross, they then returned to Cary, the place the couple calls home, to celebrate at Prestonwood Country Club with about 150 guests. And when Kelly walked into the ballroom, she was amazed at how her simple vision of a black and white, elegant reception full of white flowers and candlelight had become a stunning, beautiful reality.

To begin the party, guests enjoyed a full cocktail hour with hors d’oeuvres, followed by a sit-down dinner. Dessert featured an impressive mini dessert display and four-tiered cake, with each tier a different flavor.

“My grandmother said she felt like a queen and that she had never been treated so well in her life,” says Kelly.

But her grandmother wasn’t the only one who felt special that day.

“Before they let everyone into the ballroom, Lance and I stood at the top of the grand staircase, thinking ‘can you believe we pulled this off, that we are married?’” says Kelly. “We were amazed by the beauty of it all and that we had created this for our families and friends, and that we got to enjoy it with them.”

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farm

fresh

CHIVES

ROSEMARY

E RB S

SAGE

OREGANO

BASIL

THYME

Healthy, Local Produce and Foods Every Tuesday and Saturday at the Western Wake Farmers’ Market in Cary!

Please check www.WesternWakeFarmersMarket.org for weekly guest educators and musicians.

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FRESH/DRIEDRATIO • Fresh herbs can be substituted for dried herbs in most recipes with a ratio of one tablespoon of fresh herbs to one teaspoon of dried herbs (which is a one-to-three ratio).

This is because the dried herb oils become more concentrated in the final product.

• The beauty of dried herbs is its availablity during the cold winter months. You don’t have to choose between fresh vs. dried herbs-use them both depending on the season.

FRESHHERBS • When you buy fresh herbs, treat them much as you would fresh flowers. First, snip off the bottom of the stems then throw away the damaged leaves.

• Put the herbs, stems down, in a tall glass of water, leaving the top part of the herb exposed.

• Cover the top with plastic and place the glass in the refrigerator. Change the water every other day or so.

• When you are ready to use the herbs, rinse them again, pat dry, then chop them or use cooking scissors to cut the herbs until they are very fine.

DRYHERBS • Though many people store dried herbs above their stove, it is not recommended since the constant heat and exposure to light can cause them to lose flavor. A dark, cool and dry place is best.

• To dry herbs, your microwave is a great time saver. Begin by washing them, then patting dry and placing the leaves between paper towels. Heat on your lowest microwave setting for around three minutes. Herbs that are great for drying include bay leaves, marjoram and oregano.

• To release the flavor of dried herbs, crumble them between your fingers or use a grinder. To check the freshness of dried herbs, rub them between your fingers. If there is only a little aroma or none at all, it is time to throw out the old and replenish your stock.

• Most dried herbs have a shelf life of about a year.

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n ancy Douden remembers when she and her husband g lenn decided to sell their large family home. There were no more children in the house and a smaller, ranch-style home in c ary made more sense. So they moved. She spent time at church and with friends. He loved being outdoors, often boating, fishing and hunting. a nd they spent time together. The new living situation worked well, she says, for about three years. Then her husband died.

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a ll of a sudden life changed and priorities shifted. Join Cary Living for a closer look at Douden’s experience, as well as the experiences of two other senior citizens who made the choice to move to a retirement community. Find out what matters most to them and how their choices reflect that priority. a nd meet employees of retirement communities to find out what matters most to them in their daily work.

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Nancy Douden, Resident Community: Waltonwood What matters most: Friendship

n ancy Douden never imagined that she’d outlive her husband g lenn. “i have to truthfully say i always thought i would die before him. He always wanted to live forever…he loved life,” she says with a smile. a fter g lenn’s death, she tried to stay busy. With two daughters in the area, friendly neighbors and social groups like the r ed Hat l adies, Douden’s days were full. But the nights were long, lonely and too difficult to maintain. “i need people,” says Douden, a Pennsylvania native who has lived most of her adult life in the Triangle area. She packed up what she needed and downsized to a twobedroom apartment home in Waltonwood.

That was almost two years ago.

Today she can meet friends for Wednesday night Wii bowling, an afternoon at the gym or an evening of card games. She’s developed close friendships with other women, many of whom are also widows. Together they shop, see shows and keep each other’s spirits up. “Everybody understands what everybody else is going through,” says Douden. a nd everyone understands if she needs an occasional evening at home, with its calming green-colored walls, collection of model lighthouses on a living room bookshelf and 8x10 portrait of her husband g lenn just a few feet from her chair. it’s a neatly arranged living space, the kind where there’s a place for everything and everything is in its place.

“Everything is really clicking good,” says Douden with a knowing nod. “i’ve had a very good life…and i still do, really.”

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Nycole Honore, Receptionist What matters most: An at-home feeling for each resident

a s far as n ycole Honore is concerned, every resident needs to feel happy and at-home. “i want to make it feel like they’re moving from a home to another home…that they’re getting new relatives, not strangers.”

With that in mind, she says she does her best to get to know residents and talk with them about their lives. “Just listening to their stories, you can tell what they’ve been through. Television and movies can’t get better stories,” grins Honore, who has worked at Waltonwood since it opened. “i learn a lot from the residents,” she says. “When they get to this phase in their life, they deserve to be treated at a higher level. Everything they’ve ever done for everyone else…it’s time for it to be given back to them.”

Harold Stierhoff, Resident Community: Glenaire What matters most: Location & time with family

a s a young man, Harold Stierhoff was married in r aleigh. But work called him to r ichmond, v irginia, where he spent a good part of his adult life. a fter retirement, Stierhoff and his wife Betty found themselves in a home that was too large for their needs, in a city where they had no relatives.

The couple decided to move back to n orth c arolina, where they could be close to their adult son and daughter. g lenaire, he says, was an easy choice. “We came down to visit our daughter and took a look…once we decided to do it and found out what a good reputation g lenaire had…we met people down here who were obviously very happy here. So, no, we didn’t have any qualms,” says Stierhoff.

Eight years later he still has no qualms about the move, and enjoys spending time with his young grandchildren who live in c ary. (a third grandchild is in college, but she visits during breaks.)

“We do a lot of babysitting if you want to call it that…we see them at least once a week,” says Stierhoff. “They love it. We’re wide open to pick up an ice cream cone any time during the day. a nd they love just walking around on the property. They like exploring.”

When his children and grandchildren aren’t around, Stierhoff can be found at g lenaire’s library, shopping with his wife or enjoying the company of friends in his community. For Stierhoff, getting back to the r aleigh area and being near his family is a piece of good fortune. “We loved r aleigh from the beginning…we were happy to get back,” he says.

Stan Cooley, Dining Services Production Manager What matters most: Cooking with care

For Stan c ooley, preparing meals for the residents of g lenaire is like preparing meals for family. a nd that means cooking with love.

“When i plan or prepare or serve a meal or a reception, i’m doing it for people i really care about,” c ooley, a 16-year g lenaire employee, recently said to the community.

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With Ease, Please Moving isn’t easy. Often people aren’t sure where to begin or how to settle into a new environment. It can cause stress, even when the person moving is happy about making a change.

Enter Susan Stanhope, a senior move manager. “Moving is a pretty daunting task at any age. For seniors, the thought of moving is even more stressful because they know that physically they can’t do as much for themselves as they used to,” says Stanhope. “And they don’t want to appear needy.”

Stanhope’s business, Move Elders with Ease, provides services such as packing, overseeing movers, determining furniture placement and unpacking. For some families, having an organized, unrelated third party is helpful. “There are no emotional buttons to push and the decision making usually goes more smoothly and quickly with me than it would with the adult child helping the senior,” says Stanhope.

Cary Living asked for her best advice about moving and managing stress.

Stanhope’s professional pointers: • REMEMBER TO BREATHE. Taking three deep breaths helps you stay calm and think clearly.

• COMMUNICATE OPENLY. It’s important for each spouse to retain some of his or her favorite belongings. If the china cabinet is important to mom, find a place for it in the new space.

• CONSIDER SAFETY. When deciding what furniture to move, make sure there’s plenty of room for walking, with or without a walker.

• LISTEN. This is the senior’s life and he has the right to make his own choices. As long as the decisions are safe ones, help him remain as independent as possible. Life’s a journey and the most important thing is to take the next step in a safe, loving and joyful way.

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“

It was quite traumatic…selling our home and getting rid of the stuff we had there… but once it was over we were very happy, and have been extremely happy.

– Harold Stierhoff

”

c ooley’s skills include Southern homestyle cooking, l ouisiana low-country cuisine and specialties such as shrimp with sundried tomatoes in wine sauce over angel hair pasta. Freshness is important to him, too.

Sometimes c ooley can be found in g lenaire’s garden snipping fresh herbs for dishes or picking tomatoes for a salad.

“We take steps to make sure eating at g lenaire is a special experience,” he notes.

Dr. Jo Watts Williams, Resident Community: Village at Brookwood What matters most: Freedom

Dr. Jo Watts Williams remembers caring for her parents as they aged during the 1950s and 60s. Things were different then, she says, and retirement communities and their amenities weren’t as prevalent as they are today. memoires of that time are one reason she’s confident that her choice to move to a retirement community was the right call. “it was the very best gift that i could give my two sons…they don’t have to worry about whether or not i’m taken care of,” says Williams, a former public school teacher and university professor. “i was able to free myself of the responsibilities of owning a home… naturally, there was always something that needed to be done.”

Today all that needs to be done is whatever strikes Williams’ fancy. most mornings she’s at Elon University, where she is vice president emerita. a nd many afternoons she can be found cheering on the Phoenix in football, basketball and soccer. “That’s a full-time job…we have very exciting teams,” laughs Williams, an a nson c ounty native.

Patty Scotten, Director of Marketing What matters most: Finding solutions

Patty Scotten loves her job. “i’ve always enjoyed older adults and have learned many life lessons listening to them,” says Scotten. “in my job, i feel i have the opportunity to return a favor by enriching their lives.”

Scotten’s responsibilities include assisting older adults in finding the right home and situation. “Some people exploring a community are already experiencing challenges and limitations, and i love it when i can help them find a solution to their problems,” she says. “o nce they move in, it’s my greatest pleasure to hear them say, ‘g osh, i wish i’d done this years ago.’”

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Fin an cial Foc US If you belong to “Generation X” – generally defined as those born between 1965 and 1980 – you’ve got many years to go until you retire. However, that doesn’t mean you should delay saving for retirement – but that’s exactly what many of your peers are doing. And in the process, they may be jeopardizing the retirement lifestyle they’ve envisioned.

Smart Retirement Savings Moves for

GEN XERS

By Bonnie Fischer,

a am S Fin an cial a

Consider the following: • More than one in three workers ages 35 to 44 aren’t saving anything for retirement, according to a survey by the Employee Benefit Research Institute.

• Nearly half of all Gen Xers are at risk of being unable to maintain their standard of living in retirement, according to the Center of Retirement Research at Boston College.

These figures are daunting – but they don’t necessarily mean that you will fall short of your retirement goals. As a Gen Xer, you have, on your side, the world’s most valuable asset – time. By using it wisely, and by following proven savings and investment strategies, you can make excellent progress toward your important retirement goals.

What savings and investment strategies should you pursue? Here are a few ideas: • Take full advantage of your 401(k). If your employer offers a 401(k) or similar plan, such as a 403(b) or 457(b), put in as much as you can afford each year – and increase your contribution every time you get a raise. Your 401(k) earning can potentially grow on a tax-deferred basis, and you generally contribute pretax dollars, so the more you put in, the lower your annual taxable income. At a minimum, contribute enough to earn your employer’s match, if one is offered. And if you leave your job, try to avoid liquidating your 401(k) account.

Instead, consider rolling over your 401(k) to an IRA or to your new employer’s retirement plan, if such transfers are allowed.

Dvi Sor | EDWar D Jon ES

• Open an IRA. Even if you have a 401(k), you can probably still contribute to an IRA, as well – and you should.

You can fund an IRA with virtually any type of investment, such as stocks, bonds, government securities and Certificates of Deposit (CDs). And you’ll get valuable tax benefits, too – a traditional IRA can grow tax-deferred, while a Roth IRA offers potentially tax-free earnings, as long as you’ve had your account at least five years and don’t start taking withdrawals until you’re 59-1/2.

• Don’t invest too conservatively. Many people are afraid of investing in the stock market, given its ups and downs.

Yet, historically, stocks have outperformed all other financial assets. And while it’s true that past performance cannot guarantee future results, it’s also true that if you only invest in “conservative” investments, such as Treasury bonds or CDs, you might not even keep up with inflation, much less earn enough to reach your retirement savings goals. Consequently, you’ll want to include a reasonable percentage of quality stocks in your investment portfolio.

• Cut down on your debts. The more money you spend paying off debts, the less you’ll have to invest for the future.

Try hard to live within your means and work diligently to reduce your debt load.

It will take effort, patience and discipline, but by following these suggestions, you can boost your chances of attaining a financially secure retirement. Get started soon.

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shopping

SO UTH C A RY elegant stiches_jf.pdf

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H E A LT H Y

LIVING

But, if you have bunions, I can offer you tips that may help you wear the shoes you love – sometimes – and live your life more comfortably.

Let’s first dispel the myth. Bunions are not hereditary. If your mother had bunions, it’s not a given that you will, too. What is hereditary is the type of foot that has the propensity to develop bunions. But, you’re not born with bunions any more than you’re born with breast cancer or psoriasis.

A bunion is simply an enlarged bump or growth of bone on the medial side of the big toe joint. You can develop a bunion at any age.

It’s caused by a complex set of factors, but the most basic is that the big toe starts to move toward the second toe because of faulty biomechanics. The bone behind the big toe joint tends to move to the side, which then makes the head of the bone, or bunion, more prominent. The big toe reacts. It’s Newton’s Law in action – for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

It’s a progressive deformity, and it’s often accelerated by improper shoe gear. If you wear something that’s not supportive and you have poorly functioning feet, it’s going to make the problem worse.

But, the problem can often be corrected. Prescription orthotics – inserts for shoes – can prove very helpful in making the foot function optimally. Putting pads around the bunions and using certain prescription creams, plus anti-inflammatories like Motrin or Advil, can provide relief.

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I’m not going to tell you not to wear high heels or any other shoe you want or need to wear for work or a night out.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in 20 years of treating feet, it’s that people are going to wear the shoes they want to wear.

IF THE SHOE DOESN’T FIT…

It May Exacerbate

BUNIONS By rICHard Ha

user, d.P .M. | PiEdmon t F oo t & anKlE clinic

When bunions start to interfere with what I call ADLs, or the activities of daily living, it’s time to think about surgery. If the timing and life circumstances are right, I ask patients to consider six things. You may need surgery if you:

1. Have pain all the time.

2. Can’t wear the shoes you like.

3. Can’t do the activities you like to do.

4. Notice severe degenerative changes.

5. Have a lot of nerve pain – a shooting pain or numbness 6. Are considering changing careers because of your foot pain.

People in certain professions have to wear a certain type of shoe. If you’re a construction worker with bunions and you can’t wear the steel-toed boots required, you may need to consider surgery…unless you’re willing to switch careers.

The operation can range from a simple bump removal to a more involved operation, where we reposition the bone. The recovery for the first surgery involves two or three weeks in a post-op shoe. For the more involved procedure, you may be in a walking boot for about a month.

I always recommend conservative approaches first. If they don’t work, then I talk to patients about surgery.

But, it all starts with footwear. When the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it!

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LIVING

H E A LT H Y

GETTING HEALTHY IN 2012 It’s as easy as

12 3

By Carolee

5

a uslander |

SUPER SNACKS TO REV UP YOUR METABOLISM LEAN TURKEY. Studies show protein can help boost metabolism, lose fat and build lean muscle tissue so you burn more calories. 3-ounces of boneless, skinless lean turkey breast is only 120 calories and provides 26 grams of appetite-curbing protein.

555

or

Exc El Bod y Fitn Ess

5 WAYS TO SPEED UP YOUR METABOLISM

BROCCOLI. There’s a link between calcium and weight loss. Broccoli is not only high in calcium, but also loaded with vitamin C, which boosts calcium absorption. This member of the nutritious cabbage family also has plenty of vitamin A, foliate and fiber. And, at just 20-calories per cup, this weight-loss super food not only fights fat but also contains powerful photochemical that boost your immunity and protect against disease.

APPLES. With all natural peanut butter or with celery

WATER, WATER, WATER. Putting artificial drinks in your body just makes your body work harder and slows you down.

YOGURT. It includes calcium, protein and a ton of other nutrients as well as good bacteria and pro-biotics for your digestive tract.

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EATING THROUGHOUT THE DAY Starving your body will slow down your metabolism.

EAT BREAKFAST Eating a high fiber - carbohydrate meal is a good way to start your day. Your metabolism slows down while you sleep so eating breakfast revs up your body again.

EAT PROTEIN Eating an extra 150 calories of protein will keep your metabolism working all day

NIBBLE ALL DAY Eat 5 small meals a day to keep your body in gear. It also keeps you from overeating at meal time. Never miss a meal.

CUT OUT COCKTAILS BEFORE DINNER Studies show people eat more during meals if they’ve had a cocktail. Plus your body burns alcohol off first, storing the food you eat as fat.

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5

CHANGES TO A HEALTHIER YOU

2 1

LIMIT SUGAR! Sugar turns into fat, so limit your “bad� sugars or replace with natural sugars.

Bad: ice cream, cookies, cakes, syrups, sauces, etc. Natural: strawberries, blueberries and other fruits.

4

CUT CARBS! Simple carbohydrates turn into fat and make your body tired.

Limit white starches, bread, pasta and potatoes.

3

LESS ALCOHOL! This is a major calorie no-no. These drinks are high in sugar and full of calories.

FORGET FAT! Decrease foods with high saturated fats or processed foods like fried foods.

5

ADD EXERCISE! If you do #1 - #4 and exercise three to five days a week you will truly lose weight, tone up and be a healthier you for 2012!

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H E A LT H Y

LIVING

The Power

of Probiotics

By Car Ter & la ura dal

Ton | gn c a t P arK WEs t villa

gE

If you are like many folks, a trip to the doctor, resulting in antibiotics, is

and colon, and help you build up immunity from germ attacks. Poor

the first time the word “probiotics” was introduced to you. In fact, it’s

eating habits, stress, infection and antibiotics in our food as well as in

likely you’ve heard more about eating yogurt than actually supplement-

medical treatments can wreak havoc in the GI tract, destroying these

ing with a capsule. That’s because yogurt does contain a small amount

good bacteria and allowing undesirable bacteria to multiply. When

of certain probiotic strains, the most commonly known being (lactoba-

this happens, problems begin to arise such as excessive gas, the all-

cillus) acidophilus. But these little powerhouses do so much more for

annoying BLOATING, constipation, intestinal toxicity and poor

you! Probiotics are actually microscopic living organisms that fight to

absorption of nutrients. Two of the most abundant and best known

keep your body in balance. And aren’t we always looking for balance?

probiotics in the intestines are bifidobacterium and lactobacillus

Probiotics are termed “good bacteria” and work hard to metabolize the nutrients you eat, reduce harmful bacteria in your small intestine

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acidophilus. These probiotics attach to the intestinal walls and multiply, helping keep our bodies healthy.

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On a day-to-day basis, maintaining that intestinal balance can help keep fungus and yeast cells at bay, and help keep your stools soft and well-formed, aiding in bowel movements.

(Humility goes out the window once you have kids, doesn’t it?)

They also help make vitamins (Bs and K) and enzymes (lactase, which helps digest milk), help prevent cholesterol from entering the blood stream, and bring balance to the digestive and immune systems.

In terms of treating certain conditions, many integrative doctors and specialists also support the use of probiotics for: • Diarrhea, especially following treatment with certain antibiotics • Lactose intolerance • Helping treat Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis and irritable bowel syndrome • Prevention and treatment of vaginal yeast infections and urinary tract infections • Prevention and treatment of eczema in children • Helping control acne • Speeding treatment of certain intestinal infections • Prevention or reduction of the severity of colds and flu TREATMENT WITH ANTIBIOTICS As the name hints to, antibiotics can wipe out intestinal bacteria indiscriminately, resulting in diarrhea and a compromised immune system. Many specialists have found it best to co-administer high potency probiotics with antibiotics. The secret is not to take them at the same exact time. Separating the two by three to six hours is best. Since most antibiotics are water soluble, they absorb in the upper G.I. tract. Probiotics work mainly in the lower G.I. tract – so giving antibiotics time to absorb and get out of the way is the key. Continue your probiotics well after the antibiotics are finished – one month minimum.

ECZEMA & AUTISM IN CHILDREN When there’s a family history of allergy or eczema, babies receiving probiotics in their first six months of life (and mothers who took probiotics during the last trimester of pregnancy) may be less prone to develop skin problems. Children with autism may also benefit from probiotics, possibly because the beneficial bacteria decrease leakage of large molecules from the gut, a process that can trigger immune reactions that affect brain function.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR For adults, doctors often recommend a probiotic containing anywhere from four billion to 50 billion organisms, depending upon the reason for supplementation. (Though in full disclosure I will tell you I took 50 billion simply for general health and the high potency made me very gassy.) Find a brand with multiple strains and with a delayed release (i.e. enteric coated or biotract), so that they reach your intestines without being broken down by acids in your stomach. Look for a probiotic potency guarantee which assures you that the probiotics are viable through the expiration. Be sure to protect your supplements from heat, moisture and air. Though they are shelf stable, refrigerating your probiotics after opening may help lengthen their lifespan.

As always, consult with a physician before beginning any new program.

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cary living

sightings car y d an ce s tu den ta Ke t o p h o n o rs

t s

Cary Arthur Murray Dance Studio traveled to the Washington Dance-O-Rama ballroom competition during the first week of December and brought home top honors.

h ol id a y s ip & shop Cute Buttons, The Purple Polka Dot and Beautimous Beads held a Holiday Sip & Shop on November 10th for its customers to enjoy in-store specials, sweet treats and complimentary wine while they shopped.

ca ry a cademy h olid a y s hoppe From December 1st-3rd, Cary Academy held its Holiday Shoppe.

More than 100 unique vendors were on hand.

o pen h o use

r e t i re m e n t co m mu n it y o ne s t e p clo s e r t o co ns t r u ctio n

Salem Garden and Gift Shop held its open house on December 4th.

Shoppers were able to pick up gift baskets and other crafts for the Christmas season.

SearStone, a not-for-profit continuing care retirement community (CCRC) planned for Cary, has been notified by the North Carolina Department of Insurance (NCDOI) that it has met the requirements to receive a conditional Preliminary Certificate.

ri BBo n cu ttin

g

Sophie & Mollies Boutique had its ribbon cutting ceremony on November 17th. Guests were able to enjoy a fashion show during the event.

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Want your event featured in our sightings? Email us!

myra@caryliving.com 919-782-4710

1 s t an n u al Bella Ball & g ran d o pen in g The first annual Bella Ball and grand opening for Raleigh Bella Bridesmaid was held on November 20th. Raleigh Bella Bridesmaid is excited to announce that they are under new ownership, the new owner is Christy Carver. The boutique has relocated to the Lochmere Pavilion Shopping Center in Cary.

c u t- a- th o n f o r Ka y y o w rais es $ 5 100 Mitchell’s Academy held the first annual two-day Kay Yow Cut-athon on October 21st and 22nd.

They asked people to pay what they wished to donate for the cause while getting a haircut or a brow wax. Money raised was donated to the Kay Yow Cancer Fund here in the Triangle.

s t oneha ven c h r is t ma s pa r t y Stonehaven Jewelry Gallery, located in Stonecreek Shopping Center in Cary, held its annual Christmas party on December 2nd.

9th ann u al op en ho use Swagger, located in Lochmere Pavilion in Cary, held its 9th Annual Holiday Open House on November 6th.

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