Cary Living Magazine by Midtown, 5 West, Triangle Family

a look at APex

“There was so much history that was already here, we’re just tapping into it as business owners,” Monaco said. “It’s really neat to be able to pull out a 100-year-old photograph and say ‘That’s what my store used to look like.’ People appreciate that kind of history. I know I would not have a book store in a strip mall or shopping plaza. That was just not going to happen. I would not have gone anywhere else.” Stores owners in Downtown Apex seem more like close friends than economic rivals, pushing business to each other on a regular basis. “They are the ingredients to the soup that makes Apex special,” town manager Bruce Radford said. “And those merchants are down there day and night, weekdays and weekends; they are committed to making it a special place. They are the cause of the success of downtown.”

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calendar

OF EVENTS

MARCH | APRIL 2013

CARY ART LOOP FINAL FRIDAY March 1-26 | Cary Gallery of Artists 200 S. Academy St. | Suite 120 | Cary www.carygalleryofartists.org

“SELLING ACROSS THE GENERATIONS” March 13 | 11:30am-1:30pm | WBON Prestonwood Country Club | Cary | RSVP at www.womenbusinessassociation.com

WESTERN WAKE FARMERS’ MARKET Every Saturday in March | 9:30am-12pm Carpenter Village Marketplace 1225 Morrisville Carpenter Road | Cary

WBON ANNUAL SPRING CHARITY FASHION SHOW AND FUNDRASIER March 13 | 11:30am-1:30pm Tony’s Oyster Bar | Cary | RSVP at www.womenbusinessassociation.com

ST. BALDRICK’S SHAVE EVENT March 16 | 2-7pm | J&F Gemelli Hair Salon | Stonecreek Village 113 Ledgestone Way | Cary www.stbalsricks.org/events/jfgemelli WESTERN WAKE FARMERS’ MARKET ST. PATRICK’S DAY CELEBRATION March 16 | 9:30am-12pm Carpenter Village Marketplace 1225 Morrisville Carpenter Rd. | Cary www.westernwakefarmersmarket.org

TOBACCO ROAD MARATHON March 17 | 7am-12pm USA Baseball Training http://tobaccoroadmarathon.com KINDERGARTEN – 5TH PROSPECTIVE PARENTS March 21 | 9:15-11am | The Raleigh School | RSVP at 919.546.0788 ext. 117 www.raleighschool.org KNOWLEDGEABLE NETWORK OF WOMEN (K.N.O.W.) SPRING EQUINOX March 21 | 5:30-7:30pm | Chatham Hill Winery | Cary/Morrisville www.morrisvillechamber.org COREN MOORE TRUNK SHOW March 22-23 | Raleigh Bella Bridesmaid 2425 Kildaire Farm Rd. | Suite 305 Cary | www.bellabridesmaid.com TOWN EASTER EGG HUNT March 23 | 10-11am | South Park 900 South Main Street | Fuquay-Varina www.fuquay-varinadowntown.com

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Quiz:

Are you an introvert? Where do you fall on the introvertextrovert spectrum? Choose the answer that applies to you more often than not. The more often you answer “True,” the more introverted you are. If you have about the same number of “Trues” and “Falses,” you may be an ambivert. True

even farther than that: the animal kingdoms also boast introverts and extroverts, from fruit flies to pumpkinseed fish to rhesus monkeys.” THE ‘EXTROVERT IDEAL’ The problem is that introverts aren’t celebrated in today’s culture. “Introversion is now a second-class personality trait,” writes Cain, “somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.” The statement resonates with me as a parent. I have, on more than one occasion, urged my son to “get out there!” either by raising his hand to volunteer for something or by calling attention to him when he’d rather I didn’t. Does the “Extrovert Ideal,” as Cain calls it, play a role in that? Is it affecting, however subtly, the way we raise our kids? Cain says yes. What’s more, when we push an introverted child to be extroverted, we could be doing that kid a disservice. “One of the things we know from psychology is that self-esteem comes from competence as opposed to the other way around,” says Cain. “If you help your child find an area they’re competent in and that they enjoy, that’s where their self-esteem comes from.” “If you’re raising the natural cheerleader or football player, the path is more clearly marked,” continues Cain. “But if you’re not raising that child, it may take a little longer to find the right path, but it’s important to find that path. Parents get caught up in labels as much as kids do. Who is this person we’re raising, what do they like to do?” ADAPTING TO THE CULTURE In a twist of irony, Cain, a self-described introvert, now makes a living as a highprofile speaker. She used to lose sleep

before big events, but she’s adjusted. “I would say it still takes a lot of energy for me to be ‘on’ in that way,” says Cain, previously a corporate attorney. “Writing ‘energy’ is much easier for me to come up with than speaking energy. It’s actually been amazing to me the extent to which it’s possible to overcome the fear of speaking and even to enjoy it. It’s because I care so much about what I’m saying.” Cain brings up an important point: can introverts become more extroverted? More importantly, should they? Most people exhibit at least a little of each quality and others are true ambiverts – more or less equally half introvert and extrovert. Certainly, people change to fit their environment; it’s what humans do. In fact, the people you peg as extroverted might simply be adapting to the culture, particularly if their profession demands it. Cain found this to be true of Arianna Huffington, president and editor-in-chief of The Huffington Post. “I think of her as pretty extroverted, but she says she has a really introverted side. She said when she was a little girl she had a birthday party and she tried to send everyone home in the middle of the party so she could go back to reading.” Cain herself brought a suitcase of books to summer camp as a kid and couldn’t understand why all the counselors kept urging her to be loud and sing camp cheers. And yet now she travels across the country speaking to auditoriums full of people. “A year ago if you told me I’d be making my

False

o I prefer one-on-one conversa-

o I often prefer to express

tions to group activities. myself in writing.

o o

o I enjoy solitude. o I seem to care about wealth, fame and status less than my peers.

o People tell me that I’m a good listener.

o o

o I’m not a big risk-taker. o I enjoy work that allows me to

o I like to celebrate birthdays

dive-in with few interruptions. on a small scale, with only one or two close friends or family members.

o People describe me as

o I prefer not to show or

o o

o I tend to think before I speak. o I often let calls go through to

“soft-spoken” or “mellow.” discuss my work with others until it’s finished.

voicemail.

Excerpted from Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

living partly as a public speaker, I would have thought that was insane, but that’s my reality.” RAISING KIDS Being adaptable is a good thing. Certainly there are times when introverts might need to speak up even if it’s uncomfortable and, frankly, can’t we all think of a few extroverts who might benefit from taking it down a notch? There’s a fine line, though, between adapting and changing who you are, says Cain. “We should be encouraging children to find activities they’re really passionate about,” says Cain. “It doesn’t mean being president of the

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