Midtown Magazine by Midtown, 5 West, Triangle Family

GRILLING, SK YDIVING, BEER, APPS, MUSIC, MOVIES & MORE!

WHO IS

THE

MODERN MIDTOWN

MAN?

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P. 5

2011

UT -O NG LL DI PU ED E W UID G

M AY / J U N E

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2010, 2011 â&#x20AC;&#x201C;

coloring â&#x20AC;˘ cuts â&#x20AC;˘ makeup â&#x20AC;˘ straightening & conditioning â&#x20AC;˘ nails â&#x20AC;˘ waxing $BMM 6T 5PEBZ 'PS "O "QQPJOUNFOU XXX MVYTBMPOTQB OFU mm 002-025 toc_letter.indd 11

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a note FROM THE

PUBLISHER

Something for the Men! Every year as we plan our May/June issue, we always discuss Mother’s Day or Father’s Day as a potential story idea, and this year was no different! But our conversation quickly turned to how different our fathers were and how much more is expected of men today. So, in this issue, check out “Who is the Modern Midtown Man?” (p.26). How does he juggle work and family? How does he stay in shape? We asked more than 50 men to answer questions about their roles as husband and father and how their fathers shaped who they are today. One of the men, Travis Aptt, is part of the Midtown family; he is the creative director for Midtown Magazine. Travis is responsible for the wonderful design and layout of each magazine, so we’re thrilled to introduce him to you. Speaking of men doing amazing things, my business partner Ronny Stephens took the plunge in April (just after his birthday) and went skydiving. Yes, jumping out of an airplane has been on his “bucket list” for many years. He did it, and in “Drop Zone” (p.80) he shares his experience and explains why you shouldn’t wait to do what you’ve always wanted to do. If you’ve ever wondered why you dream what you dream, don’t miss “Sweet Dreams” (p. 50). It turns out, you are the best interpreter of your dreams, but some dreams have common meanings, like the back-to-school failure dream. We’ll decode the most common dreams and also show you how you can use your dreams to problem-solve and expand your creativity. You’ll never dream the same again after reading this piece. For fashion lovers; don’t miss “Day To Night Fashion” (p.54). We feature the best looks for day with suggested accessories to make that look awesome for evening. Just think: two looks for the price of one! Finally, I always want your help. For our summer issue, we want to hear from you. We invite you to share your most embarrassing moment. If it’s just too embarrassing to share, send it anonymously. We’ll look at how and why we get embarrassed and how we recover from it. Don’t be bashful; I’ve got so many that I can’t decide which one to share. We also would love to know what you think of this issue of Midtown Magazine. What do you like? What would you like to see more of? Your opinion means a lot to us.

Gina Pearce Stephens

Publisher/Partner Midtown, Cary Living, Pinehurst & Premier Baby & Child gstephens@midtownmag.com

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20 1 1

publisher/partner

gina stephens

advertising sales

gina stephens myra gammon regina alston

creative director graphic design

contributing writers

photography

travis aptt heath hilliker jennifer casey christa gala kate turgeon dan bain illyse lane jenni hart page leggett april maness kristy stevenson darcy brennan-huante fiquet bailey carter & laura dalton chuck hill susan m. weeks, md april maness photography jennifer robertson photography

subscription inquiries call 919.782.4710 or visit midtownmag.com

Printed on 100% Recycled Paper

Midtown Magazine is published six times annually. Any reproduction in part or in whole of any part of this publication is prohibited without the express written consent of the publisher. 4818 Six Forks Road, Suite 204 Raleigh, NC 27609 Phone 919.782.4710, Fax 919.782.4763 www.midtownmag.com Midtown Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts, photography or art. Unsolicited material is welcome and is considered intended for publication. Such material will become the property of the magazine and will be subject to editing. Material will be returned if accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope. Midtown Magazine will not knowingly accept any real estate advertising in violation of U.S. equal opportunity law.

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contents m ay / j u n e

features 26 The moDerN miDToWN maN

we asked over 50 men from Midtown and beyond to help us uncover the answers. Here, we highlight the insights of ten men that represent the Modern Midtown Man.

36 GoT iNK?

As we usher in a world of bare arms, visible thighs, open backs, and beach ready stomachs, it seems that everyone has gone tattoo crazy. Have you?

50 SWeeT DreamS

we all dream, but what do our dreams say about us?

54 DaY To NiGhT faShioN

tweak your outﬁt to make it work for day or night!

66 aBcS of arV

ever wonder if the piece of furniture that’s caught your eye is an antique, reproduction or vintage collectible? we’ve got the answers!

2011

74 TeeNS aND TWeeNS come cLeaN

bubble baths and rubber duckies give way to serious hygiene.

80 DroP ZoNe

Skydiving thrill Fuels triangle enthusiasts

84 We’re iN The moNeY it’s time for a ﬁnancial spring cleaning.

96 fiNGer LicKiN’ GooD

when you mention North Carolina barbeque, everyone has their favorites. From the mountains to the coast, we searched high and low for some of the best – taking you across the state to sample all that NC has to offer

102 TriaL rUNS

duke Raleigh Hospital doctorsand clinical trial participants are playing a crucial role in developing life-saving cancer treatments.

SimPLY eLeGaNT & SimPLY DeLicioUS

Simple food, good company and a convivial setting

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contents m ay / j u n e

2011

departments 40 midtown reviews 48 bainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beat 62 beauty 64 calendar 72 GRILLING Midtown meets Downtown 88 HOW ABOUT A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC 91 CHECK IT OUT! 92

ARTSPLOSURE 2011

TALLY-HO!

106 healthy you 117 midtown mingles

chef mario

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the modern midtown man

By illyse lane

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It’s almost Father’s Day. As we get ready to pay tribute to the men in our lives, Midtown Magazine was curious. Who is the Modern Midtown Man? We know today’s man is different from his father. More is expected of him as a man, as a husband and a dad. So how does he do it all? What inspires him? What’s his style and what are his interests? And how has his own father shaped the man he is today? We asked over 50 men from Midtown and beyond to help us uncover the answers. Here, we highlight the insights of ten men that best represent the Modern Midtown Man. The Modern Midtown man is different. He’s different because of the times in which he lives. Times that encourage him to read The Wall Street Journal, Money Magazine and Men’s Health. All while taking breaks to text the office, his friends and his wife from his smartphone, which at times appears to be superglued to his hand. He’s different because he cares about his health and well-being. To stay fit, he hits the gym. He knows his way around a grocery store and can whip up a healthy dinner for his significant other when she’s working late. And he contributes to the more than 16 billion dollars spent worldwide on personal care products. But he’s also different in the way he’s embraced the more egalitarian role in relationships today, juggling his career and pulling his weight at home, whether he’s single and dating, part of a childless couple, or married with children. The modern Midtown man is Gaurav “G” Patel, 27, who in-between owning several successful restaurants, can be found planning a last-minute getaway for he and his wife because they need to escape and reconnect. He’s Tom Fritsch, 48, a commercial real estate professional whose short commute to

the office allows him to drive his children to school in the morning and occasionally drop in for lunch with his daughter. And he’s Jim Belt, 59, a retired corporate executive who instead of settling in a lakeside community, opted for Downtown Raleigh, where he works to make Raleigh a better city. He’s Shon Hardy, 40, who in addition to being a husband, father, teacher and coach, also serves as a Fellowship of Student Athlete huddle coach where he’s able to share stories about his life and his choices to help the youth of today. And he’s Michael Marshall, 45, who, in-between working as a CFO and coaching his sons’ baseball and basketball teams, will head down to the Spring Outing for the ninth consecutive year. This time, with his daughter, for Indian Princesses. “The Midtown men I meet are very driven in their work. They want to be a success but they also make time for family and faith,” says Rev. Dr. Jeff Roberts, senior minister for Trinity Baptist Church. “They also enjoy their play time, including making time for physical fitness, and giving back to the community.” What Roberts has observed first-hand is the trend that has occurred slowly over the past few decades: men’s desire to live a more balanced and fulfilled life. The Balancing Act It’s not always easy for the modern, Midtown man to balance his many roles. The Center for Men and Young Men found that men receive conflicting messages and can be caught between being the thoughtful, passionate, fathering types they are expected to be yet still demonstrate the more masculine, macho traits

my life and I try to do it to the fullest, much like my father does,” says Aptt. “It also helps to have a strong support system. For me, it’s my girlfriend, friends and family. They understand who I am and where I’ve come from.” The Kid Factor While the balancing act can be tricky for the single guy, it gets even trickier for the married man, and can be the trickiest for the man with children. “Fatherhood adds a whole new dimension for the identity of the modern man. You go from making a living to the stress of providing,” says Dr. Jeff Krepps, a licensed marriage and family therapist. When this happens, a man can struggle between the traditional role of years past and the egalitarian role that he and his significant other discussed before the arrival of the children. With a wife who has her own, successful career, and four children under the age of nine, Krepps, 43, has first-hand experience with the challenges that can come with having a modern relationship. But figuring out how to balance it all is achievable. A report from the Shriver/Center for American Progress stated that 84 percent of couples are negotiating the rules of relationships, work, and family, including a willingness to make sacrifices with their careers for the benefit of their family. “My wife and I make that extra effort to share duties in order to make our life smoother and less stressful,” says Mark Ference, 41, a regional manager for a software company and father of two. “Of course we get stressed and have our occasional tiffs, but it is soon forgotten and we move along. I could not have found a better half.”

“He knows his way around a grocery store and can whip up a healthy dinner for his significant other when she’s working late” that are valued by society – especially women. “There are a lot of influences on men my age. At times it can be hard to keep up, because it seems like many things, such as always being well groomed, staying in shape, having a good job and a nice place to live, are just expected. But it definitely takes some effort and dedication,” says Travis Aptt, 28, Midtown Magazine’s own creative director. “It’s tough to be your own person when so many different variables are thrown at you.” So how does the modern Midtown man figure it out? For Aptt, it’s the simple matter of making choices that allow him to be his own man. “I look at myself and how I want to live

Led By Our Fathers As different as day-to-day life is for the modern Midtown man compared to the day-to-day routine of his father, what has remained the same are the fundamental values that guide the modern Midtown man’s choices – values that were handed down from his father. “My life is different than my father’s life in many trivial ways. But in most every way, I strive to live up to the standard he set for me,” says Bonner Gaylord, 33, General Manager of North Hills and Raleigh City Councilor. For the modern Midtown man knows that even as times change, there are some things worth holding onto. midtownmag.com | 27

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biographies

modern the modern midtown man

Tom Fritsch, 48

Marital Status: Married 20 years, 2 children Profession: Senior Leasing Agent, Highwoods Properties

Jeff Krepps, 43

Travis Aptt, 28

Marital Status: Single, Girlfriend of 4 years Profession: Creative Director, Midtown Magazine

Marital Status: Married 11 years, 4 children Profession: Marriage & Family Therapist, Private Practice

Gaurav â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gâ&#x20AC;? Patel, 27 Marital Status: Married 3 years Profession: Owner/Operator of Eschelon Hospitality

Michael Marshall, 45

Marital Status: Married 17 years, 3 children Profession: Chief Financial Officer, The Halifax Group

Shon Hardy, 40

Dr. Jeff Roberts, 49

Marital Status: Married 27 years, 2 children Profession: Senior Minister, Trinity Baptist Church

Marital Status: Married 10 years, 2 children Profession: Teacher/Coach, Ravenscroft

Jim Belt, 59

Mark Ference, 41

Marital Status: Married 13 years, 2 children Profession: Regional Manager, Enterprise Software

Marital Status: Married 34 years, 2 children, 2 grandchildren Profession: Retired Corporate Executive, International Finance

Bonner Gaylord , 33

Marital Status: Married 9 years, 3 children Profession: General Manager of North Hills and Raleigh City Councilor - District E

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fun facts

modern the modern midtown man

What’s

on his playlist? While the modern Midtown man shares many common characteristics as far as drive and dedication, when it comes to music, it’s too diverse to narrow it down. Artists are all across the board, in every genre. Here are just a few:

There are only two rules for success. 1) Never tell everything you know. ~ Travis Aptt

He reads exactly what you would expect:

Smart Phone A

ARE YOU

Fun time includes: “MY PRIORITIES ARE FAMILY, LORD, PROFESSION…AND THAT’S NOT THE ORDER IT SHOULD BE, BUT I THINK NUMBER 2 UNDERSTANDS.” ~ MICHAEL MARSHALL

Dinner out with the wife or girlfriend Guy time Beach or lake time with family

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THE APPS HE LIKES

SHOPPING? ONLINE OR IN-PERSON?

He wears... Levi’s Gap JCrew Guess Raleigh Denim Rock & Republic

Both

SORT OF...

They research online but like shopping locally! “I like to check the quality of my investment.” ~ Shon Hardy

e Addicted?

But definitely a love-hate relationship. The phone of choice: iPhone 4.

Success is only one idea away. ~ G. Patel

he’s not working he’s with his kids, staying fit. doing yard work.

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Gr oming While most Midtown men would take a massage if their wife booked one, the way they get ready to face the world is with simplicity. Most have a pared down regime for heading out the door, and their biggest indulgences are:

FASHION

BEHIND EVERY GREAT MAN IS AN EVEN GREATER WOMEN (SUGGESTED BY A WIFE)

• good face soap • moisturizer • sun screen • hair gel

(if they’re fortunate enough to have hair)

HIS “Treat others as you OWN want to be treated” ~Tom Fritsch WORDS…

THE MIDTOWN MAN VARIES FROM BEING STYLE CONSCIOUS TO COMFORTABLE CASUAL

“I enjoy wearing a suit and tie during the week. For the weekend, I tend to go casual,” says Tom Fritsch “I love fashion. It is always evolving and there are always new items to be discovered. My interest in fashion is what really inspired me to get into retail with Dapper Style House,” says G Patel “Iʼm not interested in style, but my wife is into ME being stylish,” says Mark Ference “Most times my fashion consists of sweats, shorts and sneakers due to my profession. When called for, I have been known to clean up pretty good,” says Shon Hardy “I am not interested in being stylish in the general sense. I am interested in expressing my own personal style up until it becomes expensive, time consuming, or otherwise burdensome,” says Bonner Gaylord

A Modern Midtown Man Is: Funny Driven Inspired Athletic Family Man Creative Inspired Professional Loving

“TIME, ALONG WITH OUR HEALTH, IS THE MOST PRECIOUS COMMODITY WE HAVE, SO WE MUST SPEND IT WISELY.”

~ JIM BELT

THEME

MUSIC What gets you going? What gets you moving?

fun facts

modern the modern midtown man

Burn It To The Ground Nickelback Still Got the Time Darius Rucker Training Montage from Rocky IV Vince DiCola Boulevard Jackson Browne Party Up in Here DMX Dynamite Taio Cruz Canon Johann Pachelbel

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insights

modern the modern midtown man

In short, what I do substantially differently from my father is attempt to adopt his 62 years of spiritual wisdom at 33. That wisdom is only partially learned and marginally understood, but it wholly impacts me each moment. Bonner Gaylord My father valued a strong sense of stability, making sure he was in a sound position before he made important decisions. Early on, I was the exact opposite, thinking that making these decisions on the fly would help me to grow and mature. But since those days, I have started to follow a little more in my father’s footsteps. Travis Aptt

I had great parents, but they worked all the time. Never threw a ball with my dad, but he would make every attempt to be at my games if I had one. That always bothered me, and I have tried to allow my life to revolve around my kids and be there for each and every activity. I probably have missed many professional opportunities because of it, but I never want my kids to say Dad was never there. Mark Ference

My father is a good man who taught me much. He was a disciplinarian with expectation and I always knew he was looking out for my interest, even when I didn’t agree with him. I have tried to do the same with my sons, also incorporating what God’s expectations are for them, not just mine. My prayer is the fruit of that labor will pay off for them one day; to be able to carry over to their children as well. Shon Hardy As a father, I did my best to not only attend ballgames, plays, recitals and ceremonies in which my children participated but also to serve as a coach. My role with adult children has become one of consultant and coach. I encourage them to make good decisions and to own their decisions. Dr. Jeff Roberts Having a happy, healthy and close family is most important to me. I’ve even left a job because of the travel and the amount of time I was away from home. In order to have more flexibility in my work schedule, I’ve opened my own business. Dr. Jeff Krepps I am grateful to have both my mother and father as such an inspiration in my life. After

moving from India, I have been able to live the American Dream. I was able to attend college and build a restaurant group in just a short period of time. In that sense I am doing a lot different than him. But, without him, I could do none of this. G Patel Both my wife’s father and my father worked, and our mothers were responsible for the daily activities of the children and the household. As for my wife and I, we share responsibility for the children. I cherish this family time and have a hard time imagining the kids going off to college. Tom Fritsch One thing my dad and I agreed about was the necessity of a companionable marriage. Without a wife who could share exploring, learning and serving in the community, early retirement wouldn’t be nearly as appealing. Jim Belt My dad has always been a Christian-based, family-focused person. My dad wasn’t as involved as I am, but he always taught us the core values of doing the right thing. I proudly take those qualities from him. Michael Marshall

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RECIPES BY CHEF MARIO COPY BY DARCY BRENNAN-HUANTE PHOTOGRAPHY BY APRIL MANESS PHOTOGRAPHY

grill

get ready for the

Summertime is here and that means it’s time to fire up the grill. And guess what? The grill isn’t just for meat anymore...

LOGON! www.midtownmag.com for additional recipes from Chef Mario!

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SIGNATURE RECIPES: BLACKBERRY BARBEQUE SAUCE • CHEF MARIO’S BARBEQUE SAUCE • SPICY BEER BARBEQUE SAUCE AVAILABLE AT WWW.MIDTOWNMAG.COM

TICKLE MY FANCY RIBS

To Grill the Ribs Heat one side of the grill to high, leaving the other side off. Place ribs on the off side of the grill, turning ribs every 15 minutes, slathering them with barbeque sauce each time. After 45 minutes, the bone should start to pull away from the meat. This is how you know your ribs are done perfectly. Remove the rack from the grill and let rest for 10 minutes. Cut them into individual ribs by holding the slab vertically and slicing down between the bones.

Two Slabs of Baby Back Ribs serves 4-6 Rub Ingredients 2 Tbsp chili powder 2 Tbsp black pepper 2 Tbsp kosher salt 1 Tbsp paprika 2 tsp coriander Preparing Ribs for Grilling Mix ingredients for rub and set aside; and preheat oven to 300º. Trim ribs of excess fat and remove membrane. Season ribs with the prepared rub and place rib slabs in a shallow pan. Cover with aluminum foil and roast in oven for about 2 ½ hours, or until you can see an inch or so of the rib bone on the slab. Cooking times may vary depending on the size and fat content of the rack.

GRILLED CORN ON THE COB Serves 6

Ingredients 6 ears of fresh sweet corn, shucked and halved 1 stick of melted butter 2 tsp orange juice 2 tsp chipotle in adobo Salt and pepper (to taste) 2 Tbsp sliced scallions Directions Preheat grill to medium high heat. Grill corn, turning often, for 10-15 minutes or until grill marks appear. Combine melted butter, orange juice, chipotle and salt and pepper in a medium bowl. Brush mixture over grilled corn and garnish with scallions.

GRILLED PINEAPPLE POPPY PARFAITS

Remove from oven and allow to cool while preparing fruit and cream.

Ingredients 3 cups rolled oats 1 cup sliced almonds 1 cup cashew nuts 1 cup shredded coconut 1/3 cup brown sugar 1/3 cup honey or maple syrup 1/3 cup vegetable oil 1 tsp salt

Grilling Pineapple You can also use mangos, peaches, plums or bananas. Slice fruit, then lightly spray slices with cooking spray. Grill for 1 or 2 minutes, or until lightly charred. Cut into bite-size pieces and set aside to cool.

6 parfait glasses 3 sprigs of fresh mint for garnish For the Cream 1 cup sour cream 1 cup plain yogurt 2/3 cup sugar 1/2 tsp vanilla 1 Tbsp poppy seeds

Heating Granola Do this before preparing cream or fruit. Preheat oven to 250 degrees. In a large bowl, combine nuts oats, coconut, and brown sugar. Then add the honey, oil and salt. Mix well. Pour into a foil-lined sheet pan. Cook for about one hour, stirring every 15 minutes to ensure it browns evenly.

Preparing Cream Combine sour cream, yogurt, sugar, vanilla and poppy seeds. Mix well and set aside. Layering Parfait Glasses Layer 6 parfait glasses beginning with fruit, then granola, then ending with cream. Then garnish with fresh mint and serve!

BLUE CHEESY POTATOES Serves 6

Ingredients 4 cups red potatoes, sliced 1/3 cup bleu cheese, crumbled 2 Tbsp olive oil 2 Tbsp fresh rosemary, chopped Directions Fill a large saucepot with water. Add salt and place on high heat. Add potatoes and bring to a boil. Boil for 15-18 minutes, or just until tender. Preheat grill to medium high heat. Drain potatoes and leave to cool. Toss potatoes with olive oil, salt and pepper and place on preheated grill. Grill lightly, until potatoes have slight marks on them. Remove from grill and place on a serving dish. Sprinkle with crumbled bleu cheese and chopped fresh rosemary. midtownmag.com| 35

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GOT

INk? mm 034-037 tattoo.indd 1

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ummer’s almost here. As we usher in a world of bare arms, visible thighs, open backs and beach-ready stomachs, it seems that everyone has gone tattoo crazy. Have you? BY ILLYSE LANE

They were the words Anne Elsea never expected to hear. Her 79-year-old mother, a member of the garden club, the gourmet club and St. Anne’s Catholic Church, uttered the unthinkable: She had always wanted a fl ower tattoo on her calf. Just what was she thinking? Apparently, she was thinking the same thoughts as 45 million other people. People that, according to Byron Wallace, owner of Warlock’s Tattoo and Body Piercing, include teachers, doctors, managers, everyday laborers, salespeople, students, soccer moms, police offi cers, business executives, athletes, judges and even retirees. People that are turning to tattoos as a way of expressing themselves, whether it’s to symbolize a belief, signify an accomplishment or remember a traumatic experience. The NeW aCCeSSorY All it takes is a quick look around the grocery store, gym or coffee shop to grasp just how many people have embraced tattoos. And those are just the people who are willing to show off what they have done; most tattoo lovers choose to keep their ink private. midtownmag.com midtownmag.com| | xx 25

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The appeal spans generations, with a 2010 Pew Research Center study finding that 15 percent of Baby Boomers, 32 percent of Generation Xs and 38 percent of Millennials have tattoos, with half of the Millennials having between two and five. Tattoos have become so mainstream that they’ve been called the new middle class accessory – which doesn’t surprise Wallace, who finds that these days, the most popular demographic showing up in his local shop is the over-30 crowd. “These people know where they are in life; they are confident and comfortable in their own skin,” says Wallace. But this doesn’t mean that those in the 18-30 generation – the students, the recent grads, the young professional, and the newly married – act impulsively in their decisions to be permanently inked. As it turns out, regardless of age, the majority of those who get tattooed do it after careful consideration of both the design and placement. Wallace, who has been in the tattoo business for 31 years, thinks this careful planning is a smart approach. “Sometimes, especially for young kids, there’s a shock value associated with getting a tattoo,” he says. “Don’t think in the moment. Remember that you have a job and a life ahead of you.”

To See or Not To See It was exactly this train of thought that prompted one Midtown professional to place her tattoo in a discreet location. While many employers have become more open-minded about tattoos, some tattoo fans aren’t quite convinced that all professions have caught up to this more modern way of thinking. “I love my tattoo and would like to get more, but I also know that not everyone in the workplace is accepting of them,” said one 26-year-old female professional who works with children. With all but two of his 25 tattoos being visible, John DeLuca, a musician, father and telecomTelecommunications technician by day, rocker by night – John DeLuca munications technician who works face-to-face shows off a few of his 25 tattoos. with clients on a regular basis, has taken a different approach. And because of this, he’s gotten his fair share of ‘the look.’ “I can tell when someone stops to stare, or get fixated on them,” says DeLuca. But he wouldn’t have it any other way. “I am very comfortable and confident with myself,” he says. “I have always loved tattoos and I don’t regret any of them. Each one reminds me of a place in time.” People such as DeLuca, who got his first tattoo over 24 ago, have helped blaze the path for the younger generation while helping to melt the old-fashioned, negative stereotype of tattoos that’s been left over from decades ago. The Changing Face Kelsey Culbertson, 24, got her first tattoo at the age of 18, after graduating with honors from high school. She now has six. Kevin Brandon, 30, described himself as the quiet, slightly nerdy type with straight As and a burning desire for a tattoo, even at the age of 16. He now has over 20. And while you will likely never see the (1, 2) With over 20 tattoos, Kevin Brandon’s ink shares the story of his accomplishments and meaningful, life events. 1

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4 (3, 4) Kelsey Culbertson got her first tattoo at 18, and has slowly added to her collection over the years.

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TattooFinder.com offered these questions to consider: • Are you prepared for the pain? • Do you accept its permanence? • Do you accept that, even under ideal circumstances, there may be some health risks?

• Are you ready to accept tattoo criticisms and attention? • What are your reasons for wanting a tattoo? • Do you accept that the tattoo will change in appearance over time? • Is the decision to get tattooed your own, or are there other influences?

tattoo that belongs to Jenn Hoey, a 41-year-old mother of three who also works full-time in sales, it’s certainly there, as she decided to get one five years ago after contemplating it for quite some time. “In high school I was the preppy Catholic school girl, the responsible one that all parents trusted,” remembers Hoey. “It does shock people from my youth to find out that I did get a tattoo.” But Hoey herself is not surprised by her decision. “It’s against what people expect, but for me, it makes sense. It’s actually more me to have one,” she says. Interestingly enough, both Brandon and Culbertson, who each work in the restaurant and hospitality field, express a deep acceptance and understanding of how they could be judged based on their body art. And instead of issuing a rebel yell against those that may pre-judge their intelligence, demeanor or professional abilities based on their tattoos, they instead hope to dispel the notion that if you are young with tattoos, you must be deviant. “I can tell when I meet someone, they may at first think that I’m a bit rough,” says Brandon. “After they have a chance to speak with me, they’ll realize nothing could be farther from the truth. Then, my tattoos become conversation starters.” Culbertson has found it refreshing to work for a company that not only doesn’t mind tattoos, but encourages them. “At my interview, I flipped over my arm to show off my tattoos, just to make sure that it was going to be ok,” remembers Culbertson. “And the comment back to me was, ‘absolutely.’” The Regretful Decision What happens if you realize you’ve made a hasty decision? If that flower on your stomach has lost its colorful petals? Or you suddenly determine you no longer want to be asked about the tattoo on your lower back? These feelings ring true with one Midtown woman. “I got a tattoo as a way to help me deal with my grief over a tragic situation,” she recalls. While she did give the decision some thought, she now realizes that nearly a decade later, having the tattoo is a permanent, daily reminder of a part of the past she has already worked through. “I wish I had chosen to express my grief a different way,” she says. “I recommend giving yourself plenty of time to heal before you make this type of decision.” And while removal is an option, the process is tedious, painful, and needs to be done by someone with experience, or scarring can result and ink can remain. So Should You Tattoo? If it’s been on your mind, should you tattoo? It’s a question only you can answer. And these days, it’s likely you’ll find more people encouraging you to do so. So consider how you spend your time and where you are in life. Close your eyes and picture your life with your permanent addition. If you love what you see enough to grow old with it, maybe a tattoo is for you. As for me, well, I’ll be admiring from afar. midtownmag.com| 37

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mIdtown

reviews

hot day, CoLd SummeR BeeRS

beer

ANCHOR SUMMER BEER Brewed by: Anchor Brewing Company California, US

Summer is a thirsty season, one for which beer is tailormade. Delicious, nutritious and refreshing, beer is a perfect way to unwind after a long, hot day. Even better, beer is so cost effective that even the finest brews rarely set you back more than a couple of bucks. From wheat beers to summer ales and brisk lagers, the ﬂavor possibilities are endless, so why not break out of the mold this summer and try something new? Next time you’re shopping, check out one of these world-class summer beers, and follow these simple steps: Chill. Sip. Chill. Repeat.

Style: American Pale Wheat Ale, 4.60% ABV

SAMUEL ADAMS SUMMER ALE

Style: American Pale Wheat Ale 5.20% ABV

Best paired with: Goat and tart cheeses, guacamole, salads, seafood, sushi and key lime pie. Price: $7.99/six-pack

Price: $10.99/six-pack

HARPOON SUMMER BEER HARPOON SUMMER BEER

BY DAVID SENDALL, Assistant Manager – Total Wine & More

Brewed by: Boston Beer Company Massachusetts, US

Tasting notes: Light, crisp, clean ﬂavor. Perfect for a barbeque.

dId you Know? Store your bottles upright. It minimizes oxidation and

contamination from the cap.

SIERRA NEVADA SUMMERFEST Brewed by: Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. California, US

Best paired with: Spicy meats and sauces, specialty mixed salad greens.

Style: Czech Pilsener 5.00% ABV

Price: $7.99/six-pack

Brewed by: Harpoon Brewery Massachusetts, US

Best paired with: Salads, pasta, seafood.

Style: Kölsch, 5.50% ABV

Price: $7.99/six-pack

BLUE MOON SUMMER HONEY WHEAT Brewed by: Coors Brewing Company Colorado, US Style: American Pale Wheat Ale 5.20% ABV

Best paired with: Salads, seafood, and grilled summer fare like pork with honey mustard. Price: $7.99/four-pack

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midtown

reviews

apps

In the Know, and on the Go... Try these for staying in touch and informed about everything from friends to current events… even new grilling recipes. Hopefully you will find a new favorite app on our list. YELP • Free

Looking for a burrito joint open now? An Irish pub nearby? A gas station you can drive to before your tank hits empty? Yelp for your iPhone is here to help. Use us to search for places to eat, shop, drink, relax and play, then read reviews from an active community of locals in the know. you don’t know jack • $2.99

twitter • Free

Instant updates from your friends, industry experts, favorite celebrities, and what’s happening around the world. Real-time search reveals breaking news, while trending topics and maps show what’s happening now around the world. seeclikfix • Free

It’s the game where high culture and pop culture collide. Covering everything from Bigfoot to bigamy, YOU DON’T KNOW JACK is the only trivia game that makes you laugh and think at the same time. To succeed at YOU DON’T KNOW JACK, you’ve got to be smart and you’ve got to be quick!

Encourages residents to become citizens by participating in taking care of and improving their neighborhoods. (See) a non-emergency issue in your neighborhood, (Click) and open a ticket describing the issue and what can be done to resolve it, and publicly report (Fix) the issue to everyone for resolution.

usa today • Free

gasbuddy • Free

The latest news stories, sports scores, weather and photos you’ve come to expect from USA TODAY. Browse and read stories from News, Money, Sports, Life, Tech and Travel. Stories can be shared via email, text message, Twitter, or Facebook. Staying informed on the go has never been this quick!

Find the cheapest gas on the go. In one click, locate gas stations near you and see their current gas prices. Never overpay for gas again. For every gas price reported, you’ll earn points toward prize giveaway entries. They even give away a $250 gas gift card every week. Weber’s On the Grill™ • $4.99

265 classic Weber recipes plus 40 recipes for rubs, marinades and sauces. You can tag your favorites, and even create and share a master grocery list for your grilling recipes that you can take with you to the store. There’s a timer within the app, too, so you know exactly when to take your food off the grill.

sleep cycle • $.99

An alarm clock that analyzes your sleep patterns and wakes you in the lightest sleep phase. As you sleep you go from deep sleep to light sleep. The phase you are in when your alarm clock goes off is a critical factor regarding how tired you will feel when you wake up. Sleep Cycle uses the accelerometer in your iPhone to monitor your movement to determine which sleep phase you are in, and wake you in your lightest phase.

TeuxDeux • $2.99

TeuxDeux is a simple, designy, to-do app. If you like making to-do lists, you will love TeuxDeux. Use the free browser-based TeuxDeux (www.teuxdeux.com) at work/home and then take your to-do’s on the road with the iPhone app.

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midtown

reviews

movies

Get Ready to Laugh Again… This will be the summer of sequels from adult and family comedies to action adventure. You’ll get a chance to enjoy some of the most popular movies of the last five years again this summer. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Starring: Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz Rated: Not yet rated Opens: 5/20/2011 Plot: Captain Jack Sparrow is swept aboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge, the ship of the formidable pirate Blackbeard, on an unexpected mission to find the elusive fountain of youth.

Green Lantern Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively Rated: Not yet rated Opens: 6/17/2011 Plot: A test pilot is granted a mystical green ring that bestows him with otherworldly powers, as well as membership into an intergalactic squadron tasked with keeping peace within the universe.

Kung Fu Panda 2 Starring: Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogen Rated: PG Opens: 5/27/2011 Plot: Po (voice of Jack Black) and the Furious Five venture to China to battle a villain and uncover the secrets of Po’s mysterious origins.

Bad Teacher Starring: Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake Rated: R Opens: 6/29/2011 Plot: Dumped by her sugar daddy, an unsaintly schoolteacher (Diaz) targets one of her colleagues (Timberlake) as her next lover – a plan that pits her against a popular co-worker.

The Hangover Part II Starring: Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms Rated: R Opens: 5/26/2011 Plot: In the follow-up to the record-breaking hit comedy “The Hangover,” Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms), Alan (Zach Galifianakis) and Doug (Justin Bartha) travel to exotic Thailand for Stu’s wedding. After the unforgettable bachelor party in Las Vegas, Stu is taking no chances and has opted for a safe, subdued pre-wedding brunch. However, things don’t always go as planned. What happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but what happens in Bangkok can’t even be imagined. 42 | midtownmag.com

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midtown

reviews

music

A Rocking Summer… From old classics to new hip-hop and pop, look for some blockbuster releases this summer. Chart topping performers such as Lady Gaga and Lil’ Wayne headline the months ahead. Hot Sauce Committee Part 2 (Beastie Boys) Release Date: 5/3/2011 The wait is over, again: Hot Sauce Committee Part Two, Beastie Boys’ long anticipated eighth album. We’re hoping the Beasties revisit their Check Your Head and Ill Communication days.

In Your Dreams (Stevie Nicks) Release Date: 5/3/2011 Rock ‘n Roll’s reigning queen Stevie Nicks will be releasing her first CD of new material since the release of her Grammy nominated “Trouble in Shangri-La” ten years ago.

Born This Way (Lady Gag) Release Date: 5/23/2011 Born This Way, promises to be a club-friendly successor to the pop star’s slew of hits. Gaga says “the album’s music combines electronic music with these sort of major, epic-I dare to even say metal, rock’n’roll, pop, anthemic styles-melodies with really sledgehammering dance beats.”

Destroyed (Moby) Release Date: 5/17/2011 Moby newest album was written while he was touring in 2010, a goal that he set for himself as well as bringing his camera along in order to document the life of a musician on the road.

The Carter IV (Lil’ Wayne) Release Date: 6/21/2011 The rapper/MC is finally out of prison and back in the studio. For The Carter IV, Weezy has gone back to the drawing board and collaborated with superstars like Drake, Rick Ross and Cory Gunz. midtownmag.com| 43

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Simply Elegant Simply Delicious

You’ve heard the expression “less is more…” and that simplicity is the perfect recipe for an outdoor luncheon – simple food, good company and a convivial setting. Whether you are entertaining for four or 40, remember that a memorable menu doesn’t need to be complicated – it only needs to be delicious and inviting. We asked Kristen Anderson, owner of Quintessentials, for ideas on creating a simply elegant table and Tudi Martin of Ladyﬁngers Catering to share simply delicious recipes. This will inspire you to plan your next luncheon!

PHOTOGRAPHY BY APRIL MANESS PHOTOGRAPHY AT THE OAKS AT SALEM xx | midtownmag.com 44

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Key Lime Pie Graham cracker crust: 1 package of graham crackers 5 Tbsp melted unsalted butter 1/3 cup sugar Filling: 3 egg yolks Grated zest of 2 limes 1 14oz can condensed milk 2/3 cup freshly squeezed lime juice 1 tsp powdered sugar Topping: 1 cup heavy cream 3 Tbsp powdered sugar

Crust: Butter a 9' pie pan. Break up crackers in a food processor. Add melted butter and sugar. Mix until well combined. Press mixture around edges and bottom of pie pan. Bake the crust at 350 degrees for 8 minutes or until golden brown. Filling: Beat the yolks, sugar and lime zest about 5 minutes until very fluffy. Gradually add condensed milk and

beat until thick, usually about 3-4 minutes. Slowly add lime juice until just mixed. Pour into pie crust and bake for 10 minutes at 350 degrees. Refrigerate and freeze for 15-20 minutes before serving. Topping: Whip cream and sugar until nearly stiff and refrigerate until serving. Serve pie very cold with a dollop of whipped cream and a lime wedge for garnish.

Poppy Seed Dressing for Fruit 1/2 cup salad oil 2/3 cup sugar 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar 1 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 cup onion (grated) 3/4 cup poppy seeds Mix sugar, salt and mustard in a food processor or blender. Add vinegar and onion. Slowly add in salad oil. Transfer to a mixing bowl and whisk in poppy seeds. midtownmag.com| 45

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look, smell and touch. Those are the three best tips when buying scallops. The look should be cream, beige or even orange (if female) in color. If they have a pink tint, they are old. Scallops look relatively dry, so if they have they have a milky liquid around them, stay away. The smell should be a little sweet; they are no good if they smell strong. They should be firm to the touch, but not tough or rubbery, with a little spring when touched. Scallops should be used within two days of the purchasing date.

Shrimp and Scallop Fricassee 6 Tbsp unsalted butter, divided 3 shallots, minced 1 large leek, white parts, sliced 1/3 cup diced red pepper 1/2 tsp seasoned salt 4 large sea scallops 6 large shrimp 1/2 cup dry sparkling wine

1 1/2 cups whipping cream 1 Tbsp lemon juice Tabasco to taste 1/3 cup parmesan cheese Salt and pepper to taste Linguine 3 cups baby spinach

Melt 2 Tbsp butter in a skillet. Sauté leeks, shallots and red pepper until tender, about 5 minutes. Remove vegetables from pan and set aside. Season shrimp and scallops with seasoned salt. Add remaining 4 Tbsp of butter to skillet over mediumhigh heat. Sauté shrimp and scallops 1 1/2 minutes per side. Pour wine into skillet and remove shrimp. Set seafood aside, separate from vegetables. Increase heat to high, bring to a boil and reduce wine by half. Add cream, lemon juice

and Tabasco. Reduce heat to low and simmer. Whisk in parmesan and simmer until thickened. Add vegetables and seafood. Salt and pepper to taste. Simmer until shrimp and scallops finish cooking. Bring a pot of water with salt and oil to a boil. Drop in linguine and cook for 7 minutes. Stir in spinach and strain immediately. Make a bed of linguine and spinach, then add sauce and place shrimp and scallops atop. Garnish with a little fresh parsley and a lemon wedge.

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What’s what? This simply elegant table was created using beautiful and affordable china, ﬂatware and glass from Quintessentials at North Hills.

China

“Perlee” White by L’Objet Dinner plate – $34 • Dessert plate – $30

Flatware

Vintage Silver Plate “Hotel Flatware” by Cake 5-piece place setting – $28

Wine Glasses

“Hampton” by Simon Pearce Large (cabernet/shiraz) – $60 Small (chardonnay/pinot) – $60

Vase

“Corinth” by Simon Pearce – $195

Tablecloth & Napkins

“Tanger” Cobalt by Le Jacquard Francais Starting at $195 and $21, respectively

Napkin Rings

“Cypress Bloom” by Deborah Rhodes $23.50/each

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bain’s beat

The Elephant in the Womb BY DAN BAIN

en years ago, my wife gave me the best gift a man can get for Father’s Day – fatherhood, itself. Our first son’s arrival had started two days prior, when she went out to eat with some colleagues. (Technically, I guess it had started the previous September, when we made up following an argument – but I’m specifically referring to her labor.) Desperate to kick-start the labor process, Kim remembered an old wives’ tale about spicy food doing the trick. She chose Mexican for lunch and came home from work complaining of gas pains. Once we noticed they were occurring at precise fiveminute intervals, we realized tacos weren’t the only thing trying to get out of her. Her parents had come to visit for the weekend, gambling that the due date – the next day – would be correct. That was risky, considering no one in my family had ever been on time. (In fact, the baby in question hasn’t been on time since.) Regardless, they were convinced. They followed us to the hospital, where my father-in-law did his duty

after he arrived – he nagged me about having driven too fast. He wasn’t the only person to disagree with my rushed outlook – the registration clerk was in no hurry to get us checked in, and even the doctor took her sweet time getting there. I couldn’t understand this; didn’t this obstetrician know anything about babies? We had one arriving, stat! Or so I thought. Before I could freak out too much, a helpful nurse showed us to a waiting room and told us to make ourselves comfortable. Too bad every seat was taken by the siblings, parents, cousins and every other family member imaginable of another pregnant woman. I felt weird having my in-laws downstairs in the lobby; this woman had no problem inviting her entire extended family – none of whom cared that a woman in labor was left standing while they sat comfortably and watched Wheel of Fortune. I was about to read them the riot act – every vowel and consonant of it – when the nurse came back. She’d finished preparing Kim’s room, so we were able to settle in

and get down to the business of having a baby. I still don’t know what I was thinking; this wasn’t an express service. That became more obvious as the night progressed. Time was the only thing progressing in that room; our baby certainly wasn’t. He eventually needed surgical motivation, but Christopher arrived the next morning at 11:11 – wishing time. We had to wish for tissues; the nurse told us she “always forgets” to stock them in the OR. (Because why would tissues be a high priority in a birthing center?) We had to simply let the tears (and snot) flow as she brought our son around the barrier and showed him to us for the first time. My first thought was, what an alert newborn – I could swear he’s not only looking at us, he also recognizes us. My second thought was, is that the creature that burst out of John Hurt’s chest in Alien? Nevertheless, I was instantly in love with him. We spent the next four days alternately bonding with our new baby and leaning on hospital staff to help take care of him. It was a blissful, restful period – probably the last

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time that either of those adjectives applied to our life. It was also the last four days of ignoring the obvious and putting off the answer to the question that had been looming since September – “Now what?” That question is impossible to answer ahead of time; you simply have to live the experience. Until that time comes, parents-to-be pretend there’s not a big, hulking unknown bearing down on them. My friend Steve Scafidi addressed this in a poem about his newborn daughter. I know little about poetry, but I know his is good; he doesn’t try to rhyme “Nantucket.” Although poems’ meanings typically elude me, the meaning of this portion of Steve’s “The Ten-Ton Blessing” seems evident:

“…nothing else before is real anymore and here comes

the hippopotamus of my new life gingerly taking the stairs to the front door breathing fog on the glass and staring in at me now with its tender yellow eyes

and here comes the magnificent silence of knowing everything is different now…”

Because everything was different. In the time that Kim and I call “B.C.” (Before Christopher), we’d never contended with friends asking us to babysit their kids so they could go to a movie – when our baby wasn’t even a week old. Or church moms calling us repeatedly before he was two weeks old, insisting that we choose a Sunday to volunteer in the nursery in order to earn our right to drop him off there on other Sundays (which we never did). Or peers getting upset because they happened to get sick after I brought him to an event while he was sick, sending us passive-aggressive emails with subject lines like, “Your baby tainted many people.” Those things happened, and they served to remind us of what was truly important. In the end, they happened outside of our little circle (or triangle), and didn’t matter. Equally different and more important were the new things we faced inside that triangle – the worries over every sniffle and cough, the inconsolable crying jags, the scrapes and falls, the poopy bathwater and other bizarre moments we’d never dreamed of. Because no matter how hard your friends and family may try, no matter how many books you read and courses you attend, nothing can truly prepare you for becoming a parent. Nobody tells you that beforehand, even though it seems obvious in retrospect. But it’s okay, because nothing can prepare you for the love you feel, either. The more you parent, the more you love – and the more you love, the more you parent. Funny how that works out. By the way, that unusual alertness I thought I saw in newborn Christopher’s eyes? I’m convinced I didn’t imagine it. I’m admittedly biased, but I watched it grow into an almost preternatural intelligence. I also watched an amazing sense of humor develop, as well as an extraordinary love for all living things – even his little brother, who came along four years later to turn our triangle into a square. Matthew’s talents lie in a different direction. Charisma, for one – he could charm the Devil out of the deed to Hell. That’s sure to come in handy, but I prefer to focus on Christopher’s strongest asset. As his tenth birthday approaches, I’m pinning my hope on his brains; I want him to discover how to stop time. Because there’s one other thing that’s impossible for expecting parents to prepare for – how an entire decade can seem to pass in the blink of a teary eye. Dan Bain, Dumbfounded Daddy mail@danbain.net

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SWEET

DREAMS We all dream, but what do our dreams say about us? BY CHRISTA GALA

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You’re in school and suddenly it’s time for your final exam. It can’t be! You’ve never even been to the class. How could you have forgotten? To make matters worse, you can’t find your locker or remember the combination. You have no books or pencils, no directions and no knowledge. What are you going to do? Welcome to one of the most common dreams documented – a typical anxiety dream. “It has to do with exactly what’s portrayed in the dream,” says Dr. Lucy Daniels, a clinical psychologist who uses dream analysis in her practice and is also the author of several books, including Dreaming Your Way to Creative Freedom. Anxiety dreams typically mean that you’re feeling you have to do something you can’t do or you’re faced with something you’ve long neglected, says Daniels.

What are dreams, anyway? There’s not a simple answer to this question because scientists and psychologists often disagree on whether or not dreams have a purpose in our lives. A dream is loosely defined as a form of thinking that occurs when there is minimal brain activation (usually while sleeping, but you can also dream when really relaxed). Dreaming occurs when external stimuli are blocked from the mind and when what’s called your self-system (the conscious “I,” “me”) is shut down. Since your external “real world” stuff is blocked out and your self-system is shut down when you dream, your brain forms consciousness from internal sources, usually memories. And our brain accesses those memories through our feelings. “Our memories are filed inside our brains according to the feelings that we had at the time,” says Daniels. “When we’re asleep, we’re less defended, less hanging onto reality. The feelings that we have leftover from the day can trigger these memories from the past, and we see something. We just experience it or observe it, but it’s going on in us.” Researchers may not agree on whether dreaming has a specific adaptive purpose regarding the maintenance of our body or psychological health, but most agree that dreams definitely have meaning.

“There is information in our dreams you can get no other way.”

You as interpreter Theresa Yuschok, M.D. is a Chapel Hill-based psychiatrist who uses dream interpretation and analysis with midtownmag.com midtownmag.com| | xx 25

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patients from all over the Triangle. She is also the President of the CG Jung Society of the Triangle and an advanced candidate in the Psychoanalytic Education Center of the Carolinas (PECC). “I’m in the camp that dreams have meanings, and they can be the most direct symbols to express something you’re not aware of.” Both Yuschok and Daniels are adamant that dream interpretation is very individual. “Our dreams are very personal,” says Daniels, also the founder of the Lucy Daniels Foundation, Inc. and the Lucy Daniels Center for Early Childhood in Cary. “There is a lot of symbolization in dreams, but each person has their own symbols. You have to pay attention to what your symbols are.” Adds Yuschok: “Dreams can be a source of wisdom and greater self-understanding, but you have to understand them in a context. It’s usually not a literal translation.” So if you dream someone is pregnant, it doesn’t mean that’s going to happen. The pregnancy is likely a symbol of something else. Yuschok and Daniels both help patients interpret dreams, using the information to solve problems, work through feelings and even inspire creativity, but both agree that the dreamer is the best interpreter for his or her dreams. “If you really want to know about your dreams, go to bed planning to dream,” says Daniels. “If you have a dream, write it down right after you have it or record it without even thinking about it. The important thing is not to think about them when you’re writing them down. What that does, it makes it too cognitive. Mindlessly record it and think about it later.” Then, go back to sleep and take a look at the dream the next day. Eventually, patterns will emerge. “If you do that over time, you’ll begin to learn what your symbols are,” says Daniels. What could that dream mean? Okay, let’s have a little fun here. We asked Yuschok and Daniels to give general interpretations of some of the most common dreams. Keep in mind, every dream is individual. It all depends upon what’s going on in your life and the context of the dream. Disclaimer noted, let’s have some fun: Being chased: Also an anxiety dream. It could mean you want something you can’t have; something psychologically is chasing you that you need to deal with; or you feel threatened that someone is out to get you. Nudity: Usually deals with how you’re feeling about yourself (exposed, shy, embarrassed, empowered). Teeth crumbling or falling out: Often has to do with loss. You’ve lost something or feel you may lose something by not being assertive enough or not speaking up for something you believe in. Flying: Often seen as a very happy dream; you feel free, empowered and happy. Dreaming of old loves: Although this dream can be worrisome, typically it’s a feeling you’re having that might mirror the feelings you had with that person. Past events, places: Maybe you dream you’re in your childhood home or at the lake with family and it feels like you’re watching a reel of old movies. “It’s quite possible that something from the present can put you in touch with some happiness from the past,” says Daniels. Yuschok adds that it can also be that you’re wishing you were back in those happy times. Nightmares: “Nightmares have to do with strong feelings that scare you and wake you up,” says Daniels. “Most people who deal with dreams would say that nightmares are an attempt by the 52 | midtownmag.com

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unconscious mind to solve very distressing problems; instead of solving them, it just kind of dumps them,” says Daniels. Which is why you wake up in a cold sweat. Recurring dreams: Usually means there’s an unresolved conﬂict or problem in your life. If you deal with the feeling or the problem, the dream often stops.

Why do some people remember their dreams more than others?

GettinG creatiVe Dreams have been around a heck of a long time. Dreams are in the Bible. Dreams have inspired music, art and writing for years. For example, in the late 70s Billy Joel dreamt the melody and chord progression of his 1982 Grammy-winning hit “Just the Way You Are.” He wrote the lyrics a few days after the dream re-occurred to him in a meeting. He bolted from the meeting saying, “I have to go home!”, and did just that, writing the song in a few hours. Daniels offers a class through the Lucy Daniels Foundation called Our Problems as the Roots of our Power, designed to

help artists understand and utilize their dreams in their work. Classes are open to the public. Yuschok has taken the class to foster her passion for creative writing and now attends a monthly meeting at the center. “Dreams can give you a lot of material for whatever your art is and also for understanding yourself better,” says Yuschok.

“It has to do with how much you value them. There are a lot of people in the world who would rather not deal with unconscious conﬂicts and feelings. They would rather just pretend they don’t exist. It also has to do with how comfortable you feel with your feelings. If you do pay attention to your dreams, you begin to dream more. ~ Lucy Daniels

“The group of friends that still meets to discuss this is filled with artists and writers. We are looking at our dreams and what’s going on in our life and what we’re creating, and seeing what the themes are. The idea is that the themes in your life will show up in your dreams and can be expressed in your creative work.” “My own analysis is what got me into it,” continues Daniels. “We all have problems. They are never going to go away. No therapy can make your problem be gone. What you can do is learn better and better how to deal with them.”

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day night TO

photography By april maness photography

The only thing better than finding the perfect outfit is finding an outfit you can tweak to make

night

it work for day and night. We asked local boutique owners to share tips on taking their best day look and creating a great evening look. We found itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all about the right accessories.

day

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day night

Day: Esley dress $89 | Gold coral earrings $34 | Stretch bracelet $48 | White leather handbag $78

Night: Gold flower ring $46 | Gold coral necklace $68 | Blue silk clutch $62

night Day: Peter Millar sport coat $750 | Paisley blue & green tie $95 | Ike Behar white shirt $165 | Graham & Gunn navy pants $125 | Allen Edmonds shoes $295 Night: Green Turrau linen shirt $125

day

night

day

Day or Night: Rosemarie top $348 | Babette pant $278 | Belt $268 | FRNC handbag $650

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night day

night

Night: Gold chandelier earrings $30 | Gold & silver bracelets $40 | Sand patent Pour La Victoire shoe $250 | Stone & gold necklace $50 | Gold Tory Burch clutch $275

Day: Skirtin Around dress $221 | Jack Rogers topaz sandals $178 Night: Moon & Lola earrings $64 | Mollybeads turquoise & gold necklace $89 | Jack Rogers wedge sandals $178

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day

Day: Rebecca Taylor dress $295 | Silver flip-flops $24 | Hoop earrings $58 Night: Crystal necklace $135 | Missoni scarf $198 | Diane von Furstenberg shimmer shoe $330

night day

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day

Day: Black & white Samantha Sung dress $505 | Castaner Navy peeptoe shoe $195 | Cream fedora $230| Beirn Resort weekend bag $575

Night: Loeffler grey pump $550 | Coral & turquoise beads $75/ea | Megan Park cuff bracelet $275 | Valorie black glitter clutch $395

night

day Day: Maternal American black skinny jeans $98 | Grey Delia screen tee $58

Day or Night: Coral Papillon Blanc dress $188

Night: Maternal American halter top $78

day night

â&#x20AC;&#x153;A great look that transitions from day to night effortlessly!â&#x20AC;?

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day

day Day: Long Jasmine dress $159 Night: Short Jasmine dress (zip off the bottom)

night

Day: Gant wild raspberry shirt $109 | Reversible plaid short $74 Night: Navy tie $48 | Wesc Grey cardigan $79 | Reverse shorts to khaki side |

night

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day

Day: CP Shades linen top $155 | Hard Tail cotton tank $40 | I Am Beyond capri leggings $77 Night: Freshwater pearl & sterling necklace $215 | Young Essence leather belt $36 | Dolce Vita wedge sandals $89

day

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Day: Twelfth Street green dress $284 | Halston gold sandal $128 Night: Sylvia Benson gold necklace $84 | Halston Bella shoe $244

night

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MAN the essentials for a well-groomed

Women aren’t the only ones who want to look great! Gone are the days when men secretly stole their wives’ products. Today, men can choose from a bevy of lotions & potions created just for them.

shave

BEAUTY TIPS COURTESY OF FIQUET BAILEY, LUXE BEAUTY BOUTIQUE Check out Fiquet’s blog at: thebeautyofitall.net

Chances are, you use it every day, so step up to one of the many luxurious shaving creams available today. Jack Black Beard Lube. $16, available at getjack black.com.

cleanse Harsh deodorant soaps don’t cut it! Chances are, the soap in your shower is way too aggressive & will strip the natural oils from your face. Gillette Fusion Pro Series Sensitive Face Wash. $6.99, available at Target.

style This doesn’t mean you have to spike your hair; it simply means that you should put a little effort into your hair. Grooming clays and wax give hold and add thickness to hair. Look for matte formulas so that your hair doesn’t scream “I use product”. Aveda Men Pure-Formance Grooming Clay. $22, available at Von Kekel.

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moisturize Choose a lightweight lotion designed specifically for the face. Sun protection is a must for everyone, so look for double duty formulas that moisturize and contain a SPF of at least 15. Kiehlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Facial Fuel SPF 15. $25, available at Luxe Beauty Boutique.

DID YOU KNOW?

Keep your chin up Gravity pulls fluid downhill as you sleep. The result? Puffy bags. Reduce them by slipping an extra pillow under your head.

scent Whether for every day or reserved only for special occasions, every man should have a bottle of great cologne on hand. Creed is known for their menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fragrances and has been making killer cologne since 1760. Creed Green Irish Tweed. $130-$270, available at Luxe Beauty Boutique.

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calendar

may JUNE buRning coal TheaTRe comPany PResenTs FiRsT FRiDays kiDs camP simon sTePhens’ PoRnogRaPhy May 6 | 5:30-8:30pm May 1-8 | 7:30pm | 919.279.3903 www.burningcoal.org maRbles moTheR’s Day membeR Tea May 7 | 10am – 12pm “The oRDinaRy beeR Run” eveRy monDay May 2, 9, 16, 23 | 6:15pm | 1750 Ordinary banD TogeTheR chaRiTy conceRT 919-851-5300 FeaTuRing ThiRD eye blinD May 7 | 6pm | Outside Lincoln Theatre leona TRunk show www.bandtogethernc.org May 4-7 | Monkee’s of Raleigh 919-785-1400 hello Dolly PResenTeD by ncT May 7-15 | Progress Energy Center bailey’s Fine JewelRy iPPoliTa TRunk show www.nctheatre.com May 5 | All day | Cameron Village www.baileybox.com bRick magic FesTival May 7-8 | 10am – 5pm | Hilton North Raleigh galleRy a – evening oF www.brickmagic.org aRT, wine, & live music May 5 | 7-9pm caRy PaRk 5k anD 1 mile Fun Run www.gallerya-nc.com May 7 | 8:30am www.fsseries.com DaPPeR sTyle house celebRaTes FiRsT FRiDay wiTh kaRaoke The Raleigh Dance TheaTRe’s May 6 | www.dapperstylehouse.com 26Th annual sPRing RePeRToiRe May 7 | 2pm & 7pm buTTeRFly Days aT cameRon village Raleigh Progress Energy Center May 6-7 | www.shopcameronvillage.com www.raleighdance.org buTTeRFly walk FoR kiDs by PRoJecT bikeway museum oF liFe anD science May 7 | City Plaza Downtown Raleigh May 6-7 | Cameron Village tent near Charlotte’s www.go.ncsu.edu/projectbikeway www.shopcameronvillage.com “PamPeR mom” aT FiRsT FRiDay aT maRbles wiTh The shoPs oF baileywick aDF PRoJecT Dance May 7 | 10am – 6pm | 919.845.5520 May 6 | 6:30pm & 7:30pm www.TheShopsofBaileywick.com Marble Kids Museum “senD a giRl scouT To camP RaFFle” aT The shoPs oF baileywick May 7 – June 4 | 919.845.5520 www.TheShopsofBaileywick.com

2011

TRenDseTTing Fashion anD TRunk show May 7 | 6pm | Art Space www.avanceenterprise.com moTheR’s Day May 8 nc masTeR gaRDeneR conFeRence May 8-11 | Raleigh Convention Center www.ncmastergardeners.org bookmaRkeD! 2011 wiTh lucy’s book club May 10 | 10:30am www.marbleskidsmuseum.org a walk FoR wishes – “a ReD caRPeT evenT” May 11 | 6-9pm | Vivace patio 919-787-7747 Fix skin PRoblems wiTh DeRmalogical micRoZone! May 12 | 4-7pm Skin Sense, a day spa in North Raleigh 919.870.0700 | www.skinsense.com suPeR kiDs saTuRDay May 14 | 9am – 4pm www.marbleskidsmuseum.org sevenTh annual bike FoR hoPe seT May 14 | 8am | Trek Bicycles of Raleigh www.walkforhope.com laFayeTTe village sPRing Fling May 14-15 | www.lafayettevillageraleigh.com nc chaPTeR asiD meeTing May 17 | 7:30-9pm Hunt & Gather Glenwood Avenue www.huntandgathernc.com bbQ 1 cooking class May 18 | 6:39-8pm | Savory Spice Shop 919.900.8291 wine DinneR May 18 | 6:30pm www.saintjacquesfrenchcuisine.com save aFTeR 6Pm May 19 | 6pm | Hunt & Gather, Bernard Street www.huntandgathernc.com

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Jack Rogers Trunk Show May 19 | Monkee’s of Raleigh 919.785.1400 ArtSource Fine Art Gallery Presents “Perspectives” May 20 | 7-9pm | ArtSource North Hills www.artsource-raleigh.com St. Francis of Assisi Run for Peace May 21 | 8am www.fsseries.com Carole Tanenbaum Vintage Jewelry Trunk Show May 21 | 919.787.9780 www.vermillionstyle.com “Design Seminars” at The Shops of Baileywick May 21 | 12-4pm | 919.845.5520 www.TheShopsofBaileywick.com Cooking Class May 24 | 4:30pm www.saintjacquesfrenchcuisine.com The Foxhunt 5k May 26 | 7pm Natty Greene’s Pub & Brewing Company www.fsseries.com Memorial Day May 30

The Literacy Council of Wake County – Read to Succeed BBQ June 4 | 4-7pm Lake Wheeler Waterfront Conference www.wakeliteracy.org Rex Hospital Open 8k Road Race June 5 | 8am | Wake Forest www.fsseries.com “The Ordinary Beer Run” Every Monday June 6, 13, 20, 27 | 6:15pm | 1750 Ordinary 919-851-5300 Kaplan Catering Bridal & Catering Open House June 7 | 5:30-8:30pm | 230 Newton Square lisa@tarheelweddingsandevents.com

Seth Rudetsky’s Big Fat Broadway Show June 13 | 3:30pm & 8pm www.hotsummernightsatthekennedy.org BBQ 2 Cooking Class June 15 | 6:30-8pm Savory Spice Shop 919.900.8291 Cooking Class June 16 | 4:30pm www.saintjacquesfrenchcuisine.com “Summer Celebration” at The Shops of Baileywick June 18 | 10am – 6pm | 919.845.5520 www.TheShopsofBaileywick.com

Father’s Day Alfred Hitchcock’s 39 Steps June 19 June 8-11 & 15-18 at 8pm | June 12, 19 at 3pm www.hotsummernightsatthekennedy.org Wine Dinner June 21 | 6:30pm Fix Skin Problems with www.saintjacquesfrenchcuisine.com Dermalogical MicroZone! June 9 | 4-7pm First Day of Summer Skin Sense, a day spa in Brier Creek June 21 919.870.0700 | www.skinsense.com Smile Train Sprint Triathlon “Design Seminars” at June 26 | 7am | Wake Forest The Shops of Baileywick www.fsseries.com June 11 | 12-4pm | 919.845.5520 www.TheShopsofBaileywick.com Midtown Magazine Bridal Show June 26 | 2-5pm | www.oaksatsalem.com Jordan Lake Open Water Challenge June 12 | 7:30am The Marvelous Wonderettes www.fsseries.com June 29-30 & July 1-2, 6-9 at 8pm July 3, 10 at 3pm “Sing for the Cure” www.hotsummernightsatthekennedy.org Triangle Premiere Concert June 12 | 7pm | Progress Energy Center Have an important event? We would love to hear www.ticketmaster.com about it. Please send the details of your calendar events to: gstephens@midtownmag.com.

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BY KATE TURGEON

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When it comes to furniture, most shoppers know what they like when they see it. Who wouldn’t fall in love with the elegant lines of an Empire sleigh bed or the high-back style of a Windsor rocking chair? But here’s where things may get a little, well, rocky. Unless you’re a professional or serious collector, you may wonder if the piece of furniture that’s caught your eye is an antique (voila, A), reproduction (R) or vintage collectible (V.)

Leave it to Midtown to make it as easy as A-R-V, and to give some hints about restoration, refinishing and custom pieces.

is for AntiQue Many professionals are staying true to a traditional definition of antiques – the 100-year rule. To Joe Hinge, it’s the gold standard and how he defines antique at his shop, Revival Antiques in Raleigh. If it’s at least 100 years old, it’s an antique. Hinge isn’t alone. Numerous professionals and book authors cite the traditional rule, too. In other circles, however, the word antique is defined in a way that’s broader. For those who don’t adhere to the 100-year rule, an antique piece of furniture is simply an older piece that’s valued for its appearance or significance. “One hundred years was the magic for years and years,” says Sallie Jackson of Affordable Chic Shops in Raleigh. “But some of the antique specialists have backed off from that definition.” To Jackson, a handmade piece from 1925 may be as much of an antique as something made in 1890, and a dovetailed brandy board (or sideboard) is a perfect example of an antique that may be used today. While age is significant, other factors, such as condition, rarity and demand, are important as well. To some, an object isn’t valuable simply because it has existed for a century. It’s also true that a piece of furniture that’s less than 100 years old may be extremely valuable depending on its appearance, function and marketability. In other words, midtownmag.com midtownmag.com| | xx 25

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At Revival Antiques, Joe Hinge focuses on giving new life to older pieces of furniture. Here a fresh coat of black paint has turned this solid wood buffet into a new piece that a shopper may use for its original purpose, or a new, more modern way as home to a flat-panel television and accessories.

each piece is unique and deserves to be well researched. “All antique pieces are worth saving…especially if you have an emotional attachment,” says Tula Summerford of Designs by Tula. “If the piece cannot be used as is…I believe it is better to restore it to its original state. [Restoration is] much more acceptable than refinishing a piece, which can sometimes devalue the furniture.”

is for reproduction While Summerford adores European antiques, she would never overlook a well-made reproduction. “A reproduction is furniture that is hand crafted to replicate furniture from an earlier period,” she explains. For many shoppers, reproductions work well because they may be more affordable than antiques. (Although, in some cases, they may even be antiques themselves.) Take an 1880 Renaissance Revival table with a white marble top. If you can’t inherit it or purchase one (about $400 for the small 28-inch-tall table according to The Antique Hunter’s Guide), there’s good news: It was reproduced in the 1930s and some are still being made today and sold at prices less than the cost of an antique. Another benefit of reproductions is that they are sometimes made using a larger scale to better fit the size of more modern homes. Although they have been made for centuries, reproductions have gotten a bad rap, says Hinge. For instance, consider the original Queen Anne period (1700s), when craftsmen began using details such as the carved scallop shell motif and cabriole leg. “Technically everything after that in that style is a

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QUESTION: I have a great piece of old furniture. Should I paint it? “There are definitely some pieces that are too precious to paint. If the piece is rare, signed or just a beautiful piece that cannot be replaced, I wouldn’t paint it,” she says. “If it must be restored, I would suggest stripping and refinishing the piece to expose the beauty of the wood. This should be done by an experienced craftsman.” ~ Tula Summerford, Designs by Tula

reproduction from this original period,” he says. “The distinction lies in how a piece is represented. Many poorly made pieces are being made overseas, and imported as reproduction furniture. Other pieces were made by skilled craftsmen in the late 1800s. This is where the buyer needs to ask questions and have confidence that the shop will stand behind its pieces.” continued on page 68

Antique, Reproduction and Vintage? Can they work a room together? “Yes. And it makes it more interesting to have different things, just so they work well together. Put a piece of modern art over an antique chest…a gorgeous French painting with contemporary things… or do some dark furniture and then throw in some painted things to lighten it up. It’s the unexpected that looks really good.” ~ Dianne Thomson, Affordable Chic Shops

Game room in need of a little personality? This card table at Affordable Chic Shops has cabriole legs, soft lines, seating for four to six people and drawers for cards.

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“ Truly grand, truly great pieces – antique or vintage – speak to the eye and almost always draw the viewer in. [They] make you want to touch the piece and ask yourself: What stories could this piece tell? Who made it? What was life like?” ~ Jeffrey Hudgins, Hunt & Gather

is for VintAGe Hunt & Gather’s Jeffrey Hudgins embraces creative ways to use furniture in non-traditional places. He says this mahogany, George III chest-on-chest could be used in a bedroom as a chest of drawers, in a library for flat storage, in a dining room for linens and large serving tray storage or in a living room as a statement piece. Nearly seven feet tall, it certainly makes a grand statement.

”

Vintage is a word that’s often tossed around, but it isn’t simply a catchall term for anything that’s old. “Vintage should really refer to items crafted between 40 and 99 years ago,” says Jeffrey Hudgins of Hunt & Gather Fine Estate Furnishings. He notes that when referring specifically to furniture, the term vintage carries an expectation of high quality craftsmanship that harkens back to a specific time period. Think 1960s dining table with breakthrough style, suggests Hudgins. Mod and hip, right? For movie star glam, imagine a 1920s sleek, waterfall style dresser with a huge, round mirror. The good news is that it can be relatively easy to find this type of furniture. In some cases, it may even be handed down to you. Depending on your opinion, the piece may be ready to use, or may require a little care. But how do you know what’s worth putting to use in your home?

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Adore French style and time-worn charm? Recently reupholstered in warm white velvet, this antique bed has a barrel-back headboard and footboard, as well as intricate hand-carved floral designs. It will be the focal point of any bedroom, says Tula Summerford, Designs by Tula.

“If you’ve discerned what your personal style is…and the piece is your style and serves your purpose, it’s worth saving,” says Jackson. From vintage to reproduction to antique, there’s a lot to consider. For many people, the perfect style is often achieved through an eclectic, collected-over-time look that incorporates all three types. Easy as A-R-V.

Terms to Know If you’re not clear on the terminology, Midtown Magazine is here to help! Antique? Reproduction? Or vintage? And what’s the deal with the worn look? Let’s find out. Antique Many professionals agree that antique furniture is furniture that’s at least 100 years old, although some pros aren’t as strict regarding the age of the piece. Often valuable (depending on condition and other factors), authentic antiques are increasingly rare. Reproduction New furniture that’s a copy of an antique style. According to author Patricia Petraglia, most reproductions have been constructed using contemporary techniques and tools and were not intended to deceive, but rather to mimic a particular style. Vintage Collectible A piece of furniture that’s generally

between 40 and 99 years old, although some professionals say it may be as little as 20-30 years old. Antique Reproduction/ Vintage Reproduction As years pass, more and more furniture meets the criteria for these two, separate, terms. These are actual copies of originals, but the original is so old that the “newer” copies are more than 100 years old (antique reproduction) or about 40-99 years old (vintage reproduction.) Patina Mellow and worn aspect a surface acquires through age and use. Patina is highly desirable on most antique furniture. midtownmag.com| 71

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It’s summer and

time to light the grill!

We asked Cindy Jones of Savory Spice Shop and Bethany Perkins of Midtown Olive Press to join forces in the kitchen to create new grilling marinades for steak, chicken and seafood. Your taste buds will never be the same!

Chicken

Eureka Lemon Extra Virgin Olive Oil Eureka Lemon is produced by pressing whole lemons together with olives. Notes: A light refreshing flavor of lemon is just perfect to sauté shrimp or scallops in or to drizzle on chicken or fish.

Pike’s Peak Butcher Rub Black pepper, sea salt, white pepper, red bell pepper, garlic, minced green onion and parsley.

steak

Black Truffle Oil This late fall/early winter truffle is made using the tea method, which steeps ripe truffles for extended periods of time in olive oil. This closely guarded, proprietary process yields our heady, complex black truffle oil. Notes: No extracts or chemicals are used in its production. Also fantastic in cream-based soups, risotto and mashed potatoes.

Flat Irons Prime Rib Rub Onion, salt, black pepper, paprika, lemon peel, garlic, celery, rosemary, thyme, dill weed, dill seed, turmeric, oregano, marjoram, caraway, coriander and parsley.

seafood

+ By christa gala

Blood Orange Extra Virgin Olive Oil Luckily for us, Tunisian Blood Oranges ripen at the exact time as their olives. We have them pressed together to obtain this beautiful citrus olive oil. Notes: Blood Orange is one of our most popular since it is so versatile; use it on fish and seafood, chicken, summer salads, etc…

GRILLING directions

Cherry Creek Seafood Seasoning Salt, lemon peel, our Four Corners Peppercorn blend, red bell pepper, dill weed, cracked dill seed, onion and citric acid. Take chicken cutlets and rub with Eureka Lemon Extra Virgin Olive Oil, then generously rub Pike’s Peak Butcher’s rub until evenly coated just prior to grilling.

Generously rub steaks with Black Truffle Oil. Press and coat with Flat Irons Prime Rib Rub. Let sit for half an hour at room temperature and put on a flaming grill.

In a bottle combine 1/3 cup balsamic vinegar with 2/3 cup Blood Orange Extra Virgin Olive Oil and 1 tsp Cherry Creek Seasoning. Cap and shake vigorously. If a more robust flavor is desired, add more seasoning, 1/2 tsp at a time, to taste. This also makes a great vinaigrette! *For shrimp, immerse in Blood Orange Extra Virgin Olive Oil and sprinkle 2-3 Tbsp of Cherry Creek Seafood Seasoning directly onto the shrimp (2 lbs of shrimp) before grilling.

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shoPPing & grilling We asked Jeff Gregory and his team of expert butchers and grillers at The Meat House to share tips on shopping and grilling your favorite meats this summer.

CHICKen CHICKen SHOPPING:

Make sure the chicken is a nice, bright color with no dark spots. The fat should be white, not yellow. Chicken should be used within three to four days of buying.

GRILLING:

All grills are created differently, but a 1-inch thick boneless chicken breast should take 6-7 minutes per side to be done. A bone-in chicken breast on medium heat should cook 10 minutes per side. Consider investing in a probe thermometer – it is a great way to check your meat without cutting into it and losing some of those precious juices. Using a probe, white meat should be 165 degrees and dark meat should be 180 degrees. If you are not marinating your chicken but want to add a sauce, do it at the end when your chicken is almost done. This will keep the outside from burning before the inside is done.

steaK steaK

SHOPPING:

Regardless of the cut of meat you are choosing, look for cherry red color. The fat should be white, not brown. Steak should be used with 3 days of buying. If you are marinating the steak, it can go up to 5 days if you know it was fresh when you purchased it.

GRILLING:

Remove steak from the refrigerator about 40 minutes before grilling. This will allow the inside of the steak to come to room temperature and reduce the amount of cooking time, thereby reducing the time it could burn. On a gas grill, set one side to high heat and the other to medium. Start your steak on the hot side, searing your steaks for 2 minutes on each side. Then move them to medium heat and cook for 7-8 minutes per side. This should give you a medium-rare steak. The most important key to grilling a great steak is what you do when you remove the steak from the grill…let it sit for 10 minutes before cutting into it. This allows the juices to be redistributed inside the meat. If you are worried your steak will get cold, wrap it in aluminum foil. If you don’t wait the 10 minutes you will be eating a dry medium-rare steak and all the shopping, seasoning and grilling tips won’t matter.

sPeCial thanks

Midtown Olive Press The Lassiter at North Hills 4421-105 Six Forks Road, Raleigh 919.510.5510 midtownolivepress.com

Savory Spice Shop Lafayette Village 8470 Honeycutt Road, Raleigh 919.900.8291 savoryspiceshop.com

The Meat House 1225 Kildaire Farm Rd Cary 919.465.3082 5045 Falls of Neuse Rd Raleigh 919.809.8914 themeathouse.com

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tweens and teens itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to come clean By jenni hart

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Remember nuzzling into the downy sprouts of hair that topped your newborn’s head? I don’t think there’s anything more joyous than that indescribable, intoxicating smell that wafts from a baby’s noggin. Fast-forward about a decade and, well, that’s a different story. If you’re lucky enough to be carting a few tweens home after school or soccer practice, you may find the drudgery of driving a minivan doesn’t really come from its lackluster exterior or bulky handling – it’s from the near-visible stench that collects in the air as you bump down the road with your precious pre-adolescent cargo. As any fifth grade teacher will tell you, the return to school come late August can offer an olfactory overload like no other. While your child may have long since taken over the reins in the bath or shower arena, it may be time to resurrect your role as official nag and controller of the universe – just long enough to introduce some much-needed toiletries and odorbusting strategies to the daily routine. While we’re at it, let’s do a head-to-toe inventory of preteen hygiene. Oxymoron, anyone? Child experts agree that being gentle, but direct, is the best way to broach the subject of changing hygiene needs in your preteen. “You stink!” is probably not going to set the right tone for the important conversation that needs to take place. Begin by explaining the bodily changes that are going to be occurring, including the effect of hormones that accompany puberty. This talk ideally takes place before the changes begin to occur – and of course that’s a different age for every child. Your child’s pediatrician will typically weigh in on anticipated changes based on his or her observations during regular check-ups. But let’s be honest here – your nose will tell you if you’ve avoided the conversation for too long. Soap and Water We take for granted as adults that at the end of a shower, every external body part needs to have come in contact with water and soap. You may be stymied when your 10 year-old emerges from a 20 minute shower with dry hair and dirty fingernails. I don’t know how it happens either, but this just takes practice and gentle reminding. Sometimes, lots of reminding. It helps to know your child and offer nudges that he or she will respond to best. Some children are eager to embrace the next stage in life and will rise to the challenge if they associate their new, more vigorous bath routine with getting older. Others are motivated for health reasons. And for the stragglers, a first crush or some peer pressure will be their only turning point. Explain to your child that bacteria love dark, damp places, like underarms, so getting those places clean is a must.

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As a parent, it may help to get your child involved in the process by taking them with you to the store and letting them have input when it comes to their soap, shampoo and deodorant. Let them find products they can live with and half your battle may be won. While marketers extoll the virtues of antibacterial washes, many dermatologists contend they’re unnecessary; some even warn against the dangers of some of the chemicals used in antibacterial products. A mild soap, used effectively and often enough, is all a child needs to put them on the path to being healthy and socially acceptable. Antiperspirant vs. Deodorant Yes, there is a difference between antiperspirants and deodorants. An antiperspirant contains chemical compounds that effectively block the pores and prevent them from releasing sweat. No moisture, no odor. A deodorant, on the other hand, allows the release of perspiration, but reduces odor with an antiseptic agent. Both antiperspirants and deodorants often contain fragrances as well, which work to counteract the offensive odor of sweat. The use of some chemicals in these products has periodically come under fire by consumer groups for questionable safety; in particular, aluminum, which is present in many antiperspirants. So as with all things that go in and on our children, parents should educate themselves and choose products they feel comfortable with. For me, I’ve weighed the potential risks against the likely outcome if I had to abandon my children on the side of the road because I simply couldn’t bear to smell them on the drive home. Antiperspirant seemed the way to go. For the wary, there are many natural, organic, chemical-free and essential oil-based alternatives. Better safe than smelly, I always say. Things That Go Bump Among the many adolescent milestones, the first zit can be the most traumatizing. Or not. While your daughter may liken a breakout to a life-altering tragedy, your son may not even notice, or seem to care. Acne is a natural part of growing up, and few escape the teenage years without at least a few pimples. For mild acne, a twice-daily cleanser containing salicylic acid may be beneficial. For tough cases, seek the advice of an esthetician or dermatologist. And you’re going to sound like your own mother, but try to encourage your teenager to keep their hands off their face. Picking at a blemish really can cause permanent scarring. Hair Today – Gone Tomorrow? From Rogaine to Latisse, we grownups can’t seem to get enough hair, while teens seem determined to eliminate it. Shaving faces, legs and underarms is a rite of passage for most American teenagers, and you can help smooth the way with a little advice. Exfoliate before, moisturize after, and make sure the razor is clean and sharp. 76 | midtownmag.com

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It really is that simple. The toughest part is grappling with the shock that only yesterday it seems you were wiping pureed squash off your little boy’s upper lip – and now, it’s covered with whiskers. Hide the Hardware Parents of teenage girls, beware. Peers may try to tempt your child with alcohol, tobacco and drugs. The other dastardly vice she should avoid at all costs? Tweezers, of course! Many parents have felt that strange mix of pity and horror as they’ve gazed upon the ghoulish aftereffects of their teenage daughter’s first brow-busting free-for-all. A little pre-emptive communication can save her from self-inflicted tweezer torture. If your daughter seems over-ambitious when it comes to plucking, a visit to a salon is a worthwhile investment. An esthetician can give her expert advice on the proper shaping of her brows, and may suggest at least one initial professional waxing to clean up stragglers and give a natural, clean shape that she can then maintain on her own. Somewhere between kewpie doll and Frida Kahlo is an elegant, age-appropriate happy medium. Soon enough, our teens will be heading off to college and deciding for themselves just how clean and manicured they want to be. Knowing that’s just around the corner, I’m planning to hug my three as tightly and as often as they’ll let me, funny smells and all.

QA &

The Inside Scoop

Fifteen-year-old Taylor Lord, a student at Raleigh Charter High School, weighs in on how her parents shaped the decisions she made regarding make-up, shaving and tweezing.

Q: How old were you when your mom let you start wearing make-up? A: My mom let me wear make-up for church when I was in about 6th grade, and by 7th, I was allowed to wear make-up to school as well.

Q: What was some advice your mom gave you that you really appreciated? A: One bit of advice from my mom was that if I wore too much make-up, I would look like I was wearing costume make-up. Also, I only went to a salon to get my eyebrows done because my mom said that if I did my eyebrows by myself, I would probably mess them up. For shaving, the only advice I got was to make sure to be extra careful when I had a new razor blade. Q: How old were you when you started shaving? A: I was allowed to get my eyebrows done by 6th grade, and I started shaving sometime around 6th grade, also.

Q: What advice do you have for preteens who are just now navigating all of these new hygiene issues? A: My advice to preteens is not to stress out if they leave the house without make-up. Another thing is that make-up looks better when it’s subtle. Before tweezing, get somebody to show you how to do it, so you do not get uneven brows and have to grow them back. For shaving, always remember to use shaving cream; otherwise you can get bumps on your legs. Q: How much make-up do you currently wear? A: I do not wear very noticeable make-up, just some concealer, foundation, mascara and lip gloss. By not wearing a lot of makeup, most people don’t notice if you forget to wear make-up one day. Also, less make-up makes you look more natural. For my eyebrows, I went to a salon for a while, but now I just do touch-ups by myself.

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ÂŠ Peter Biro/todd Whit

DROP BY KRISTY STEVENSON

ZONE Skydiving Thrill Fuels Triangle Enthusiasts

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Have you ever wanted to experience the 120-mile-per-hour rush of freefalling from 14,000 feet? Tandem skydiving (with an instructor) allows you to savor the sixty-second exhilarating journey, followed by the serenity of a fi ve to six minute ride under canopy – all while being safely attached to an experienced jumper whose job is to make your skydive safe and enjoyable.

Ronny Stephens, a publishing partner at Midtown Magazine, thought about it for a long time. “Sure it was a bucket list item, but I also wanted to see if I had the chutzpah to follow through at my age,” says the 68-year old who set out to earn bragging rights. Even though his wife, Kathy, had also wanted to jump for years, this peaked her interest and she was ready to give it a try. “The time under canopy is so peaceful and the views spectacular,” she says. “My favorite part was looking down over the beautiful landscapes from a mile above the earth.” Both plan to jump again. Gregory Upper, President of the Triangle Skydiving Center in Louisburg, says he sees 2000-3000 fi rst time jumpers each year who come due to a list of their own, a celebration of some sort like an anniversary, a birthday, or even as the recipient of a gift. Triangle Skydiving says most people that visit come with someone else, and from a gender perspective, there are probably just as many newbie women as there are men. The mid-30s to mid-40s age group comprises the majority of Upper’s fi rst-time clientele. “We get a lot of professionals out here, and a lot of big groups,” he says, referencing a number of team-building events from companies like SAS, Glaxo, and IBM.

ronny Stephens on the day of his ﬁrst jump.

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Raleigh’s John Cooke was invited to jump by a friend on IBM’s Extreme Blue Team. Skydiving was the “extreme” event they chose, and Cooke has since been back seven times. “I’m terrified of heights, so I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to do it,” he says, “but after I jumped, all my fears went away, the adrenaline kicked in, and it was amazing!” If this is something that’s on your bucket list, or just an adventure you’ve considered tackling, here’s how you can get in on the action. “Because of the advent of tandems, it’s very easy,” says Upper. “Even though we teach as we go, the instructor does 99% of the work.” The process is as easy as calling or going online to schedule an appointment. Be sure to allow three to four hours for your first experience as all skydiving is weather-dependent, and safety sometimes requires a wait for clouds to pass or winds to drop down to acceptable levels. Participants have the option of ordering a DVD that documents their jump, and in a couples or group dive, each person receives their own. Triangle Skydiving Center’s plane holds 23 people, so groups as large as seven can be accommodated at the same time (seven tandem jumping guests, plus instructors, plus videographers, and fun jumpers). On the day of your skydive, wear soft-soled shoes as well as loose and comfortable clothing suitable for the temperature of the day; you will be provided with a jumpsuit to wear over your street clothes. Drink plenty of water and eat normally. Upon arrival, you’ll be asked to fill out some paperwork, and a United States Parachute Association (USPA) instructor will brief you on the equipment and technique for 82 | midtownmag.com

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Thinking of Skydiving? Triangle Skydiving Center 480 Airport Drive • Ste 200 Louisburg, NC 27549 (919) 497-JUMP triangleskydiving.com (clockwise from bottom left to right) A skydiving tandem coming in for a beautiful stand-up landing; 4-way “fun jump” turning 10 plus points and Kathy Stephens doing a tandem jump with instructor Gregory Upper.

tandem parachute freefall and landing (this includes safety features, body position, how to exit the plane, make turns and read an altimeter). Your instructor will outfit you with everything you need to make your dive and introduce your videographer where applicable. You will then be put into the rotation to board the next available plane. On the way to exit altitude, instructors will again go over the skydive, answer questions and prepare the equipment. Then – once you are securely attached to your instructor – you will move to the door, complete the exit count you practiced on the ground, and exit the aircraft. Upper reveals that once you leave the plane, any apprehension disappears. “You don’t feel as though you’re falling, you feel like you’re flying,” he says. And once your tandem chute is deployed, you learn a great deal about canopy control and how to fly the canopy. Triangle Skydiving strives to constantly improve facilities, equipment and training methods. Additionally, you can rest assured that each of their instructors pass regular medical exams, hold the highest qualifications possible and have thousands of jumps under their belts. “Our goal is to expand interest in the sport of skydiving and provide a world-class drop zone to support the tandem and fun jumpers in our area,” says Upper. Although students must start with the tandem progression program, an accelerated freefall program is available for those who return for the next steps.

Saint Raphael Catholic School Faith in Every Child Advanced Math Courses Technology and Science Labs Spanish Classes K-8 Art, Music and Physical Education Competitive Sports Program Science and Drama Clubs Before and After School Care

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SRCS

865-5750 5815 FALLS OF NEUSE RD., RALEIGH WWW.SAINTRAPHAELSCHOOL.ORG

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WEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;RE IN THE

MON E

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Tired of spring cleaning? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s okay. Take a break; we want to talk to you about something more important anyway: your finances.

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Wait! Come back! You’d rather clean out the garage than talk about your finances, right? We understand. It’s stressful and overwhelming because there’s so much you don’t know. Not to mention there’s so much you don’t want to think about. Who’s going to raise the kids if you pass away unexpectedly? How should you save to pay for your kids’ college? How much will you need for retirement? What about life insurance, a living will? Before you plug your ears and start humming a happy tune of denial, check out what our experts had to say. First, James M. Richardson, a certified financial planner with Richardson, Carrington, Weaver and Associates of Ameriprise Financial in Raleigh, answers some of your most confounding financial questions. MIDTOWN MAGAZINE: First, how important is it to have our finances in order? I

think a lot of people would rather not think about it, especially in this economy. James M. Richardson: Having your finances in order is a crucial part of any financial planning. This not only makes things easier if something unexpected should happen, but allows you to take advantage of opportunities as well. If for any reason someone else needed to take over your finances (due to incapacity or premature death), it’s much easier for them to follow the blueprint that you have laid out rather than create one from scratch. MM: How much should we have in liquid cash or savings? JR: The general rule of thumb has usually been three to six months of expenses in liquid cash and savings. Given the uncertainty in today’s job market, it’s probably more advisable to have a year’s worth if possible. For retirees, the number may be higher since they need to fund their living expenses during times when their investment portfolio may be down due to bad markets. MM: Where should we put that money? JR: For money that needs to be very liquid, we still need CDs and money markets in spite of their low yields. Bonds could be used for some of the longer-term reserve as long as we remember that bond values can fluctuate in different markets. MM: What about the stock market? People are more scared than ever after so many lost so much. JR: The long-term history of the stock market still shows it to be a good place to invest. It is critical to have a strategy for investing in equities that include diversification, asset allocation and a knowledge of your own risk tolerance. You also have to have the time to invest in case you encounter bad markets. For that reason, you need to know your goals, time frame and risk profile to determine how much money you can allocate to stocks. MM: What about retirement? How much will we really need?

N EY

By christa gala

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JR: Although this is a much more complicated

example. Will it still be around? JR: Most analysts believe that people over 40 (45 and up) will probably still receive Social Security. There may be more modifications in the amounts and ages of eligibility for some people in this group. MM: What about saving for a child’s college education? What happens to the money if he doesn’t go to college? JR: Some education accounts allow flexibility, but many do have penalties if the For example: money is used for something other Retirement Income Need = $56,250 (75% of $75,000) than education. Depending upon the Social Security Income = - $21,600 amounts you save and your overDifference needed = $34,650 all financial situation, it may make You will need: $34,650/year divided by 4 percent more sense to save enough for colwould equal a retirement savings of $866,250. lege but keep the account available for other purposes as needed. MM: What if I can’t save that much? MM: What should I save for first: my retirement or my child’s education? JR: Keep in mind that there may be many other ways to achieve the income needs or live on less JR: Many advisors prioritize retirement goals than this example. Trying to save the $866k before education goals. This is mainly because would depend on your age, investment choices, the retirement needs are much larger and there amount you save, etc. For this area, compreare few alternatives if you fail to plan and save hensive planning as early as possible is still the effectively. College expenses may be defrayed by scholarships, loans and grants, whereas best solution for a comfortable retirement. MM: You mentioned Social Security in your retirement has no such options. question, there are some simple guidelines. 1) Determine how much of your current income you would need to live on during retirement – 70 percent, 80 percent, etc. 2) Subtract the amount of income you will receive during retirement (pension, Social Security) from that number. 3) Take the difference between these two numbers and divide by 4 percent.

WILL YOU? Our second expert: Attorney Thurston Debnam, partner at Smith Debnam Narron Drake Saintsing & Myers, LLP in Raleigh. Debnam has seen firsthand what can happen if you die without a will. “Several years ago I had a client who refused to make the serious decisions that are required for drafting a Last Will and Testament. Consequently, the client died without a will. He was survived by a wife and three children. Two of the children were minors. The client’s main assets included valuable farmland, which the client had purchased in his sole name. Without a will, the widow and children inherited the farmland. “A couple of years after the client died, his family needed to sell one of these farms in order to generate cash,” continues Debnam. “With a will, the client could have placed the property into a trust which would have allowed for it to be sold in a normal business transaction. However, without a will, the family was required to employ legal counsel, have a guardian appointed for the minor children, petition the court to allow for the sale of the

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Are you ready for retirement? • More than half of Americans (54 percent) have less than $25,000 saved for retirement. • Twenty-seven percent have less than $1,000. • In 2010, 33 percent of American workers expect to retire after age 65. That has tripled from 1991. From the 2010 Retirement Confidence Study sponsored by the Employment Benefit Research Institute (EBRI).

farm, and obtain the approval of a Superior Court Judge.” None of us want to think about going on a big trip and never returning or having a disabling accident that renders us incapable of making decisions. But the only thing certain about life is that it’s uncertain. Mapping out what you want to happen is the most thoughtful thing you can do. If you make the decisions, it will be easier on the ones you love. If you die without a will, the state legislature has established a set of rules for the distribution of property. That doesn’t mean your property will go to the state. However, the preparation of a will gives you much more control, including providing for unequal distributions, providing for non-relatives, giving to charity, instituting restrictions, appointing an executor and appointing guardians for minors. One last reminder: “In order to execute a will, it’s required that the testator (person signing the will) be mentally and physically competent,” says Debnam.

WHAT ELSE? In addition to a will, Debnam explains other issues that need to be addressed: Financial Power of Attorney: Allows a trusted friend or relative to transact business in your absence or upon your physical or mental disability. Health Care Power of Attorney: Allows a friend or relative to consult with health care providers to make health care decisions in the event that you’re incapable of making such decisions. Living Will: Instructs your health care providers not to prolong your life by artificial measures in certain circumstances. “The existence of a Living Will takes the burden of this decision off of the family and provides great comfort in such a crisis,” says Debnam. “Since Living Wills are authorized by statute, it is extremely important that the form approved by the legislature be utilized.”

How much life insurance do you need?

• The rule of thumb is seven to ten times your annual salary, but there are lots of things to consider. Visit www.lifehappens.org to calculate how much you might need. midtownmag.com| 87

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Veronica Tomany Photography

downtown

How about A Little Night Music? By jenni hart

onky tonks, juke joints, music clubs...whatever you call them, live music venues are an irrefutable bellwether of a diverse and vibrant downtown, no matter the city. Raleigh is no exception. From relaxed to raucous, featuring local hobby musicians to international recording artists, these stages are lighting up nearly every night of the week.

Kings Barcade In its first incarnation, Kings was open from 1999 to 2006 on McDowell Street. From its current location at 14 West Martin Street, which opened August 2010, Kings has resurrected its reputation as a hub of creativity and fun, with offerings as diverse as live bands, to game shows, comedy nights and even the occasional play. Co-owner Steve Popson has seen smaller, independent acts play on the Kings stage on their way to bigger venues. “Since our original opening in 1999, we’ve had a lot of different types of bands, but indie rock is how I would describe most of them,” he says. Acts like The Shins, Calexico, Mastodon, and Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings have all entertained Kings audiences. Popson describes the average Kings By Christa Gala patron as young and energetic, but he adds that the attractions are so diverse that every

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(left) Electric colors and gleaming bartop await patrons at the new Kings Barcade location.

night can draw a different type of crowd. Primarily a live music venue, averaging three to six shows a week, Kings also honors civic sensibilities, as one of its first events since reopening was ideaSPARK during SPARKcon 2010. For more information on upcoming shows and events, visit www.kingsbarcade.com.

The famed Lincoln Theatre is a favorite stop for bands and fans alike.

Lincoln Theatre Otherwise nondescript, Lincoln Theatre’s exterior is emblazoned on its west-facing side with a shining blue Lincoln – hearkening back to the year the building was first erected in 1939. A movie theatre for decades, Lincoln Theatre has had many incarnations since, including several bars and an internet café. Mark Thompson and his partner, Pat Dickenson, have been in the entertainment business for years, and opened Lincoln Theatre as a live music club ten years ago. It’s hosted some of the music industry’s best-loved performers, including American Idol contestant and North Carolina native Chris Daughtry, in a show that sold out in a record one and a half minutes. A vintage-style marquee displays the venue’s featured acts, and inside, the balcony was added along the back and sides about five years ago, offering more prime spots for viewing one of Lincoln Theatre’s live shows. The venue holds 800, with upcoming bands as wide-ranging as Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (Paris – Ooh-la-la), to Robin Trower, of Procol Harum fame (remember Whiter Shade of Pale?). “We do a little bit of everything,” Thompson says, “so one night, we’ll have a lot of young kids coming out to see a band like the Plain White T’s. The next night, we might have George Clinton, and the crowd is all over 40.” Consistently ranked a favorite for live music entertainment, Lincoln Theatre’s schedule can be found at their website, www.LincolnTheatre.com. The Pour House Music Hall When it opened 13 years ago, The Pour House was Raleigh’s first true tap room. Owner Eric Mullen settled on the Pour House name after considering many others, and says they’re now proud to serve 30 beers on tap. “At first, we were a beer bar that had music in the background; now we’re a music venue that just happens to have a great selection of draught beers,” Mullen says. Featuring local, regional and national bands, The Pour House puts on an avermidtownmag.com| 89

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age of 360 shows a year, spanning all genres. “We started out with a lot of jam bands, now we do a little of everything,” says Mullen, “bluegrass, rap, country, jam – we have crowds that span from early 20s through their 60s, and everything in between. It’s probably the most diverse venue you can find inthe area.” The Pour House is located in the Moore Square Arts district at 224 South Blount Street, a location that’s urban but accessible. Past bands have included such well-known names as The Avett Brothers, Marshall Crenshaw, Percy Sledge, Widespread Panic, Leon Russell, Robyn Hitchcock, and Chapel Hill’s own Chris Stamey, of the dB’s. For more information, see www.The-Pour-House.com Quench your thirst for good beer and good music with a visit to The Pour House Music Hall.

Boxbomb performs at The Brewery.

The Brewery A fixture of Raleigh’s live music scene, The Brewery has been rocking non-stop since 1983. From its location at 3009 Hillsborough Street, The Brewery has hosted some of the most successful music acts of the past three decades, including Sheryl Crow, Hootie and the Blowfish, Korn, The Killers, Jane’s Addiction, Paramour, Cartel, Boys Like Girls, and Panic at the Disco. Owner Tom Taylor, who took over in 2004, has continued The Brewery’s long-standing tradition of keeping the lineup diverse. “One night we’ll have hip-hop, the next night an acoustic show, heavy metal the night after that, and then a night where you’d call the music pop-punk,” Taylor says. The Brewery is only open when a show is booked, which can vary from four to seven nights a week. This may be the venue in Raleigh most likely to inspire music lovers to reminisce, “I remember seeing that band before anyone had ever heard of them”. To make your own music memories, check out their website at www.brewerync.com.

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downtown

Award-winning children’s author and illustrator, Molly Bang, will give readings in the Triangle in May for Bookmarked 2011, sponsored by Lucy’s Book Club, an educational outreach program of the Lucy Daniels Center for Early Childhood.

Check it out! By Christa GALA

ucy’s Book Club presents its second annual Bookmarked event May 6th22nd, featuring three-time Caldecott Honor Award winner and children’s author Molly Bang. Bang is the author/illustrator of numerous books, including The Paper Crane, All of Me! A Book of Thanks, When Sophie Gets Angry – Really, Really Angry, and Ten, Nine, Eight. Bang is the second recipient of The Lucy Daniels Award, which recognizes outstanding contributions to children’s literature that support social and emotional health. At the inaugural event last year, Judith Viorst was honored. Lucy’s Book Club is an educational outreach program of the Lucy Daniels Center for Early Childhood. More than 30 readings will take place across the Triangle to promote both literacy and emotional health for kids. Each reading will feature a local celebrity and a kid-friendly activity. A few to check out: • Saturday, May 7th The Green at North Hills, 10am and 11am • Tuesday, May 10th Marbles, 10:30am, cast member from N.C. Theatre’s Hello Dolly • Saturday, May 14th Quail Ridge Books, 10am; NC Museum of Natural Sciences, 1:30pm and 2:30pm, Molly Bang • Sunday, May 15th Family Fun Concert, 2-5pm, Fletcher Park, cast members of PBS’ Betsy’s Kindergarten Adventures • Wednesday, May 18th The Green at North Hills, 10am, airline pilot Tom Sylvester • Sunday, May 22nd Artsplosure Kids’ Stage, 10:30am-1pm For more information and additional dates and locations, visit lucysbookclub.org. midtownmag.com| 99

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downtown

Artsplosure 2011

With 175 artists, live music venues, performing artists, food, beverages and kid’s activities, Artsplosure has something for everyone.

A tremendous Art Market. Live Music in the Park. Kidsplosure. Endless food choices. And did we mention the cold beer? There’s no better way to spend the day than enjoying Artsplosure, The Raleigh Arts Festival. By illyse lane

he first thing you need to know about Artsplosure is that it’s the big time. Sure, this community festival promoting both visual and performing arts is inviting to all audiences, whether you’re young and single or coming with your stroller. And yes, the live music, beer, extensive food and kid’s activities make you feel as though you’ve discovered the perfect, laid-back way to spend either a day or an evening. So much so that as you walk around, it can be easy to overlook the fact that you are surrounded by artistic greatness. Yes, you need to remember that the 175 visual artists displaying and selling their work in the Art Market were chosen out of an estimated 300 applicants through a juried process; a process that requires artists to submit four images of their current work, along with an image of the planned booth. “We do not reveal the identity of the applicants to the jurors, so our judges can be as unbiased as possible,” says Dylan

Morris, Operations Manager. “Afterwards, the scores are totaled and the top-scoring entries from each medium are accepted to the show.” “This process allows us bring in artists who are not only extremely talented, but also understand the value of having a good display and the amount of product necessary for a festival of this nature,” says Terri Dollar, Program Director. It also helps ensure the perfect balance between the types of handmade art that will be shown, allowing all visitors to have a full experience. While Artsplosure definitely has a distinct North Carolina flavor, with resident artists comprising an estimated 50-60 percent of the total show, artists come from all over the country to participate. This is the 32nd year for Artsplosure, which began in Cameron Village as Art in the Village. The original festival was due to the vision of Christaartist Gala Bob Rankin, aBy locally-based and a former Sanderson High School art teacher. “At the time, there was no place to showcase the artwork

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At Artsplosure, the Sand Sculptures are always a source of wonder, motivating people to start building their own.

of my students or the amateur artists in our community,” says Rankin. Over the years, the show continued to grow, eventually evolving to become Artsplosure. And while the name Artsplosure may be more highly recognizable to locals based on this spring festival, Artsplosure is actually the independent, non-profit arts festival presenter responsible for other festivals in the community, such as First Night Raleigh. The free festival, set for May 21st and May 22nd at Moore Square and City Market in Downtown Raleigh, will host artists of all disciplines, including painting, jewelry making, fiber arts, photography and performing arts. Once again, UK-based Architects of Air will provide a luminarian – an 11,000-square foot “sanctuary of the senses” sculpture where people can explore a world of light and color. Both Kidsplosure and the Sand Sculptures return, as well as the annual Kid’s Visual Artists competition, open to middle and high school students from Wake County interested in showcasing their work. “This competition is an unusual and wonderful opportunity for us to encourage our future artists of tomorrow,” says Dollar. “The Artsplosure experience is about coming together as a community to appreciate and be exposed to different types of unique art, even if you are not inclined to create it.” So bring your outdoor chairs, your appetite and comfortable shoes. You’ll end up staying a while. For more information, visit www.artsplosure.org.

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downtown

tally-ho!

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to go hunting in Downtown Raleigh. The good old-fashioned kind. You know, boys chasing girls, girls chasing boys. And did we mention, there will be beer? By illyse lane

emember how much fun it was to play chase on the playground? Boys would run after the girls, and then, as soon as they stopped with the attention, the girls would begin the charge. Nowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your chance to go back in time with the Foxhunt 5K. The first inaugural 5K, sponsored by Inside-Out Sports and hosted by FS Series, will help channel your elementary school self, as the ladies will be given a three-minute head start over the men. Best of all, this chaser event will be donating a portion of the race proceeds to the Liddy Shriver Sarcoma Initiative.

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This is a cause near and dear to Sue nelson’s, general manager of natty greene’s, heart. Two years ago, she lost her dear friend, Kristen Hoodak, at the age of 39 to ewing’s Sarcoma, an aggressive, rare sarcoma. “I believe that when Kristen was diagnosed, she was the only adult in the state of Colorado with the disease,” recalls nelson. “It was so hard to find resources and people that had it for support.” The race will begin and end at natty greene’s, with the pub hosting a block party right after the event. A little bonus? each runner will be able to enjoy two free beers. Here’s what you need to know when you go:

FoXhunt 5K ---> Thursday, May 26th

Downtown raleigh in front of natty greene’s, 505 West Jones Street

natty greene’s is both the starting and finishing point for the first annual Foxhunt 5K. And of course, beer will be served.

7:00 PM: LADIeS STArT 7:03 PM: Men STArT To register, visit: www.fsseries.com and click on “running event”.

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around the state

FINGE

R â&#x20AC;&#x2122; N I K C I L GOOD By kristy stevenson

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When you mention North Carolina barbeque, everyone has their favorites. From the mountains to the coast, we searched high and low for some of the best – taking you across the state to sample all that NC has to offer.

R ’ N OD

Pass the wet wipes because it’s BBQ time! The locals call it gettin’ their ‘Q – and for North Carolinians, barbeque is a staple that’s been enjoyed for generations. Not surprisingly, many of the best barbeque joints have also been family-owned for years. From chopped pork and ribs, Brunswick stew, baked beans, cole slaw, boiled potatoes, collard greens, black-eyed peas, okra, chitlins and hushpuppies to pecan pie, peach cobbler and banana pudding – the menu variety is purely Southern and 100% delicious. Wash that down with a refreshing glass of sweet tea (with lemon or without), and you’ve got the makings of some finger lickin’ favorites. TOWARD THE COAST Grandpa’s Kitchen (Halifax County) Near Lake Gaston, this quaint place makes you feel at home and offers some rare but delicious turkey barbeque. Family run, they are only open for business Thursday-Sunday, 11am-8pm. Locals will warn you, though, that it’s a standard post-church hot spot – so Sunday lunch usually involves a line out the front door. King’s Restaurant (Lenoir County) King’s is on the way to Atlantic Beach, Beaufort and Emerald Isle. Launched in 1936, they have one foot in the past but have always tried to move forward with the times. Serving classic eastern barbeque, their menu items have changed over time – but not their recipes. Additionally, the Carolina Oink Express was established in the mid-90s to ship a full line of “Southern goodness” anywhere in the continental US.

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IN THE PIEDMONT Allen & Son Barbeque (Orange County) Call first and come hungry. Serving pit-cooked barbeque and ribs, they’re a little off the beaten path in Chapel Hill. But in an age where gas cookers and machine shredders are the norm, they continue to bronze shoulders over live hickory coals and chop by hand. Their sauce and unique hickory-smoked flavor is what keeps regulars coming back – and their desserts often get as many raves as the main course. Blue Mist Barbeque (Randolph County) Serving a crossover between eastern and western barbeque, Blue Mist opened just outside of Asheboro in 1948. Amid mid-60s décor, the first-shift crew is said to be particularly attentive. Other hallmarks include: their meat’s exotic hickory flavor, the tangy slaw with large flecks of carrot, crispy but not greasy hushpuppies, and decent sized portions at good prices. Breakfast, lunch and dinner served daily. Bullock’s Bar-B-Que (Durham County) A family owned and operated fixture since 1952, Bullock’s has served celebrities, sports teams and television crews, in addition to the hometown community. There is usually a line out the door for

their exhaustive array of comfort foods. They have been compared to eating at your grandparents’ house – succulent pulled pork, deep-fried everything with honey butter spread on the side, and good folk. Clyde Cooper’s Barbeque (Wake County) Nothing fancy, just good ol’ barbeque served on red and white checkered tablecloths since 1938. Chopped, sliced or coarse – their Carolinastyle fare is made fresh daily with cholesterol-free oil. The pork is lighter because it’s cooked in vinegar rather than sauce, and the slaw is finely chopped and does away with the mayo. Cooper’s environment is noisy and animated, but always extends good hospitality. Delish! Keaton’s Barbeque Inc. (Rowan County) Just west of Statesville, Keaton’s has been around since 1953 and their sauce is designed to “wake up” the flavor in all meats. Although the menu calls their chicken barbecued, it’s also fried. The hot sauce

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penetrates and caramelizes around its outside edges – resulting in hot, sweet and savory all at once. Lunch hours are 11am-2pm, and dinner is 5pm until the chicken runs out. Parker’s Barbeque (Wilson County) Some barbeque spots go the buffet route, but Parker’s meals are sold by the plate or familystyle, all-youcan-eat. Their homespun décor takes you back to the 50s (and no credit cards are accepted). Waiters don aprons and white paper hats, serving classic eastern barbeque and corn sticks in multiple dining rooms. There is scarcely any sauce, just a hint of vinegar and peppers to accentuate the wood-smoked flavor.

White Swan Bar-B-Q (Johnston County) The Swan is a JoCo landmark just outside of Smithfield. It was quite the hot spot on US301 long before I95 existed. Many eastern barbeque locales had a long history of selling meals out the front door and moonshine out the back – White Swan was no different. There were loud speakers hung in the trees and dancing in the sand parking lot. But the chopped pork is what has kept folks coming back all these years. Wilber’s Barbeque (Wayne County) Since 1962, Wilber’s moist and smoky barbeque has been called “good enough to slap your first born over.” Although we don’t recommend that, we did note that the Southern charm of an indoor picnic atmosphere has been enjoyed by both Presidential parties, and extends to ambiance, taste and customer service. Even ketchup-based lovers are said to enjoy Wilber’s vinegar-based sauce, and you don’t have to specify “sweet” tea, as it is understood. midtownmag.com| 99

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TOWARD THE MOUNTAINS Hursey’s Bar-B-Q (Burke County) Owned by a former Hursey’s-Burlington employee and situated just a few minutes from the Morganton interstate, this locale uses a wood coal pit and has undergone a remodel. Traditional smoked barbeque is the specialty – chopped fine – along with amazing thick-sliced onion rings and piping hot Brunswick stew. Come hungry and arrive early as the chicken wings go fast. Red Bridges Barbeque Lodge (Cleveland County) Originally known as Dedmond’s Barbeque, Bridges changed their name and moved to Shelby in 1949. The diner is open Wednesday-Sunday, 11am8pm, and slow-cooking pork over hickory all night long is the way they do things. There is no menu, just the slip of paper used by the waitress to take orders (although she will

elaborate if you are not an experienced barbeque connoisseur). Your food is delivered to the table wrapped in foil, but that only adds to the old-fashioned ambiance. Y’ALL COME BACK One reviewer said, “When I first moved [to the South], people would ask ‘Do you want some barbecue?’ I would reply ‘Barbecued what?’ and they would shake their heads. In this neck-othe-woods, it only means one thing.” As the very definition of comfort food, North Carolina barbeque is a time-intensive recipe served with fixins like your momma used to make. It is, quite literally, hog heaven and people travel for miles just to taste it. The big difference between eastern barbecue and western (or Lexington-style, as it’s sometimes called) is that ketchup is commonly added to western sauces. The other distinction is that the eastern serves the whole hog – both white and dark meat – while western cooks only the pork shoulder, which is dark and thus more fatty, rich and moist. Neighboring states seem perfectly content with a single dominant barbecue identity: South Carolina is happy with the mustard-based sauce of choice, and Tennessee appears satisfied being identified with the sweet, tomatoey Memphisstyle flavor. But North Carolina remains split by both passion and culture (or ketchup and vinegar, if you prefer). Regardless of your preference, there’s some good eatin’ out there. So what are you waiting for? Give some of these recommended favorites a try – your mouth will thank you.

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NOW TH

G N I K A M AT IT AT

YOU KNOW

Y R T O T E R E H W

BBQ ACROSS TH

STATE...

CONSIDER

HOME! Savory Spice Shop at Lafayette Village

Class 1 – Wednesday, May 18th Class 2 – Wednesday, June 15th

6:30-8pm 6:30-8pm

Cristopher Prieto, the owner of PRIME, will be teaching both classes. Prime Barbecue is a new grade of barbecue developed to inspire, educate and demonstrate the true nature of the processes, techniques, and traditions behind barbecue. Class 1 (technique class) will cover what many here in North Carolina consider to be “The mother of all barbecue” – the pork shoulder. Prieto will be demonstrating the process of meat selection, preparation and flavor profiling with spices in addition to pit maintenance, fire management and wood selection. Space is limited, so hurry and call Savory Spice Shop (900-8291) to reserve your spot. The details of Class 2 will be released shortly at simplysavorynews.com.

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trial runs D u k e R a l e i g h H o s p i ta l d o c t o r s a n d c l i n i c a l

t r i a l pa r t i c i pa n t s a r e p l ay i n g a c r u c i a l r o l e

i n d e v e l o p i n g l i f e - s av i n g c a n c e r t r e at m e n t s

We’re used to thinking of doctors as heroes. They’re saving lives, after all. But some of the patients at the cancer center at Duke Raleigh Hospital are doing heroic work, too. The patients who are part of clinical cancer trials commit their bodies and their lives to finding new and better cancer treatments. Joseph O. Moore, MD, medical director of the Duke Raleigh Cancer Center, said these patients volunteer to participate not just for their sakes, but to make a contribution to humanity. It’s a noble sacrifice for both the patient and his or her family. This life-saving work goes on every day at Duke Raleigh. Living near a world-renowned research hospital has significant benefits. Carol Hahn, MD, medical director of Radiation Oncology at Duke Raleigh, points out another benefit: expertise that comes with specialization. “At Duke, physicians are able to subspecialize,” she said. “When doctors have an area of focus, it By page leggett

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(left) The Duke Raleigh Cancer Center team offers the latest in oncology medicine with access to clinical trials and cutting-edge therapies.

(right) The Duke Raleigh Cancer Center is conveniently located on the campus of Duke Raleigh Hospital.

can lead to better outcomes for patients. Our patients in Radiation Oncology additionally benefit from our team approach, as every patient’s case is reviewed by all of the Duke Radiation Oncology physicians.” The people in that department are some of the nation’s foremost authorities on cancer research. “I think one of the things that sets us apart from your average community hospital is our relationship with Duke,” said Chad S. Seastrunk, MS, MHA, administrative director of oncology services at Duke Raleigh.“Through Duke and the great physicians we have, we are able to offer some of the clinical trials and cutting-edge therapies that [other] hospitals are not able to offer.” Clinical trials can take very different forms. “Some clinical trials can be as quick as filling out a questionnaire or giving a blood sample, while others are long-term and complex and may involve participants from all over the globe,” said Dr. Moore. “Some trials for new treatments for leukemia can go on for three or more years.” Progress is slow, but steady And, cancer researchers know they have to take a long-range view of their work. Dr. Moore said it’s important for people to know that progress in the field is “very incremental.” He said, “It’s a little at a time. There have been occasions where we’ve made quantum leaps, but by and large, our progress is slow.” The clinical trials that take place at Duke are individually designed to treat any one or more of a variety of cancers. “Brain tumors; various leukemias and lymphomas; breast, lung, colon, prostate, gastrointestinal and kidney cancers are among those we’re seeking to treat with the trials we’ve got going on,” said Dr. Moore. “Duke is leading innovative programs in all these areas of cancer research.” Dr. Moore says that one of the most promising trials currently going on at Duke involves stem cell transplant. Stem cell transplant has proven to be an effective way to treat primarily leukemias and lymphomas in adults and a broader range of disease in children. Dr. Moore explains: “In this procedure, we substitute stem cells derived from the patient – what’s called an auto-transplant – or from a matched, but unrelated, donor. The donor cells are given intravenously – like a blood transfusion. Most of the time, this involves chemo, radiation or both to destroy or inhibit a patient’s cancerous cells and allow the donor cells to grow.” midtownmag.com midtownmag.com| | xx 33

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Carol Hahn, MD, Medical Director of Radiation Oncology at Duke Raleigh Cancer Center.

Joseph Moore, MD, Medical Director of Duke Raleigh Cancer Center.

These miraculous stem cells can also come from umbilical cord blood. Dr. Moore said more and more parents have been saving their newborns’ cord blood and making it available through blood banks. These cells must be harvested at birth, so potential donors should discuss the option with their obstetricians. Duke maintains the Carolinas Cord Blood Bank that’s been providing life-saving cord blood cells to unrelated, but matched, donors since 1998. This cord blood can be made available to patients who need it through a donor match program. Dr. Moore said there’s a one-in-four chance a sibling’s blood would be a match for a brother or sister who needed it. There’s a one-in-100,000 chance that a potential recipient would be a match with an unrelated donor. Yet, it does happen. Being part of the solution Being part of a clinical trial can come with risks. Those risks are explained in detail to the patient so he or she can weigh all options and give his or her informed consent. “Not everyone will be a candidate for a clinical trial,” said Seastrunk. “There is a screening process to determine if a patient would be appropriate for a given trial.” Dr. Moore said each clinical trial has its own unique criteria for inclusion. Once patients have volunteered to be part of a trial and it’s under way, they are monitored extremely closely. In fact, before a trial ever gets to the phase where patients have the option to participate, it’s gone through an incredible amount of rigorous testing. Seastrunk explains how a trial for a new drug works: “Most clinical trials start off in a laboratory phase where the research begins. Physicians will then develop protocols around length of time of treatment, [criteria for selecting patients, and so on.] Once all the initial research and protocols have been completed, it will go to the FDA for review before it can begin to be rolled out in practice.” “Once rolled out, it can go through four phases,” Seastrunk continues. “Phase 1 trials are generally done on a small sample of patients to refine the delivery process of the new drug and focus on the safety and side effects. Phase 2 involves more patients – sometimes several hundred – and this phase can last for a couple of years. Phase 3 trials are then expanded to even more patients. This phase involves randomizing which patients will receive the new treatment and which ones will not, so at the end, they can compare the two groups to see if 104 | midtownmag.com

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the new treatment was more successful than the conventional treatment. Each step of the way requires FDA review and approval. The trials offered at Duke Raleigh are in [the second and third phases.]” Many times, a trial can involve a fourth phase which serves to evaluate side effects, risks and benefits of a drug over a longer period of time and over a larger number of people than phase 3 trials; a fourth phase could involve thousands of people. Dr. Moore elaborates on the phases. “Before a drug is ever tested in humans, it’s gone through extensive testing in animals,” he said. “In the early phases, we’re looking not at efficacy of a particular drug, but at tolerability.” Researchers have to first determine if patients can tolerate the drug before they ever begin to look at its effectiveness. But, trials don’t always involve new drug therapies. When they do, a pharmaceutical company is the sponsor, and that company will work closely with Duke and other research hospitals on the trial. But, Dr. Moore said some trials come through cooperative groups, such as the National Institutes for Health (NIH), and still others are generated by the Duke doctors themselves. The national stage Because of Duke’s reputation as a leading cancer research center, national research groups seek out Duke physicians to serve on their boards. In turn, the Duke staff is able to bring cutting-edge trials and therapies to the Triangle area. “Part of the strength of our physician staff is how they are involved in the medical community by serving on national boards,” Seastrunk said. Dr. Moore, for example, is involved with the National Cancer Center Network (NCCN), a consortium of the major cancer centers in the United States. The organization has developed treatment guidelines that have become the standard for cancer care. Dr. Hahn is also involved in cancer research on a national level. She is heavily involved in the American Society for Radiation Oncology (ASTRO) and is chair of ASTRO Guidelines, the committee which develops national standards for radiation oncology treatment. “My work typically extends well beyond the walls of Duke Raleigh, although I am actively engaged in bringing a number of protocols to Duke Raleigh that are open at the main campus,” she said. One of Dr. Hahn’s most exciting current projects, which received a $1.35 million grant from the American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO) Cancer Foundation’s Improving Cancer Care Grants Program (funded by Susan G. Komen for the Cure), has developed a web-based platform for patient case reviews for radiation oncologists across the nation. Dr. Hahn explains that the standard of radiation oncological care across the country is not always consistent, and it’s especially challenging in rural areas. Dr. Hahn’s research is focusing on connecting local physicians with experts from centers such as Duke to educate community physicians and elevate the standard of care across the country. All the Duke oncologists’ work – both in the Raleigh area and on the national level – is aimed toward one goal: finding better and better ways to fight cancer. Dr. Moore says there’s reason to be hopeful. “When you look at how far we’ve come in the past few years, our progress is almost astounding,” he said. “There’s still a huge amount of work to be done, but we’re learning more and getting better every day.” “We want to give people the best possible treatment. And, we hope to learn something in the process,” Dr. Moore said. “We’re at our best when we’re doing both at the same time.” To learn more … If you’re considering participation in a clinical trial, check out the “Questions to Ask” section at dukehealth.org/health_library/health_articles/your_participation_in_a_clinical_trial. To learn more about cancer services at Duke Raleigh Cancer Center, please visit dukeraleighhospital.org. midtownmag.com| 115

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healthy you

D VITAMIN

Epidemic or Hype? by carter & laura dalton, GNC at North Hills

I wrote an article two years ago on how vitamin D (people’s lack of it, that is) had become the most discussed topic within the medical community. Studies with titles such as, “Risk of Dying Linked to Low Vitamin D” and “Low Vitamin D May Mean Worse Breast Cancer” topped the headlines and perked up everyone’s ears. The studies continue today with newer headlines: “Low Vitamin D common in early Parkinson’s” and “Low Vitamin D common with lung disease”. Doctors and specialists are recommending anywhere from 800IUs all the way to 10,000IUs daily! With all this hype, there are those that are also concerned about how much is too much. Picking up the paper or listening to the news can be confusing. What are we to believe – what’s the real deal? What has caused the deficiency Doctors and scientists agree that one of the primary reasons for such a high deficiency stems from our lack of sun exposure due to heightened awareness of skin cancer (and use of sunscreens), increasing sedentary (and indoor) lifestyles as well as air pollutants in the environment. Previously, vitamin D deficiency surfaced primarily in the form of rickets in children (resulting in skeletal deformities) or osteomalacia in adults, resulting in bone and muscular weakness. The relationship of vitamin D to other health conditions, however, is becoming more and more apparent. The Science Vitamin D, often referred to as the “sunshine vitamin,” is actually a fat-soluble hormone that the body can synthesize naturally. There are several forms, including two that are important to humans: D2

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and D3. Vitamin D2 (ergocalciferol) is synthesized by plants, and vitamin D3 (cholecalciferol) is synthesized by humans when skin is exposed to ultraviolet-B (UVB) rays from sunlight. Vitamin D helps to maintain normal blood levels of calcium and phosphorus. Sources It isn’t that easy to get enough vitamin D from your diet. While fortified foods such as milk and cereals are available, most provide vitamin D2, a form which is much less well utilized by the body than D3. Dietary sources include fortified foods, eggs, salmon and cod liver oil (have I conjured up yummy memories from childhood?). Since sunlight causes our bodies to make vitamin D, limited daily exposure (without sunscreen) is helpful. The Hype Studies from Johns Hopkins University, published in the Archives of Internal Medicine, showed frightening evidence that inadequate levels of vitamin D may be correlated with an increased risk of death. Research has also linked shortages of Vitamin D to: • Increased rates of breast, colon and prostate cancers • Hypertension • Osteoporosis • Depression, particularly in the elderly • Inflammatory/autoimmune conditions: i.e. psoriasis, rheumatoid arthritis, MS, Crohn’s Disease Thousands of studies are currently underway to note the effects of vitamin D on helping treat these conditions as well as diabetes, chronic pain, fibromyalgia and more. Your Risk Populations at a higher risk for vitamin D deficiencies include the elderly, people who are considered obese or have undergone gastric bypass, exclusively breastfed infants, and those who have limited sun exposure, which include darker-skinned individuals. Over the past several years, the spectrum of people low in vitamin D seems to have broadened, almost exponentially. People are getting vitamin D injections, and prescription high-dose Vitamin D used to “spike” levels have almost become the norm. RDA Changes In November of last year, the US Institute of Medicine tripled vitamin D intake guidelines. The new reference values are based on much more information and higher-quality studies than were available when the values for these nutrients were first set in 1997. The committee assessed more than 1,000 studies and reports and listened to testimony from scientists and stakeholders before making its conclusions. How Much is Enough? The Institute of Medicine has declared 600IUs as the new RDA with 4000IUs as the safe upper daily limit, though no adverse effects have been seen with supplemental vitamin D intakes up to 10,000IUs daily. (Vitamin D is measured in IUs – international units – not milligrams.) Most doctors are recommending higher amounts, most in the 1000IU-3000IU range, and many specialists believe high physiological levels of vitamin D can improve health under certain specific circumstances. Get tested If you are hopeful this wonder vitamin may help with a condition or you are confused as to how much you should be taking, testing your level is the best way to answer those questions. We are not talking uncomfortable prep drinks, scans, etc. It is a simple blood test. You don’t have to fast for it, and it takes less time than waiting for a latte some days. Don’t ASSUME you aren’t at risk, just because there are no outward signs of a problem. I was low in vitamin D in 2008, and I have no risk factors. I did the standard prescription of 50,000 IU to “spike” my level, and I now supplement with 2000IU/day. D3 is inexpensive. The pills are small, easily crushed. There are softgels, liquid and sublingual forms. In other words, there is NO EXCUSE!

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healthy you

Spring hair IS IN THE

by chuck hill, david wade salon

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Hair on the runway and red carpet this spring has a nostalgic vibe with a twist, literally. One of the biggest hair trends from top designers uses twist to form a sleek and no-nonsense up style that is a great alternative to the ponytail. Another long hair trend is down and wavy tucked behind one ear with a deep side part…the perfect look for an event on the town. A great haircut that stands out in a crowd is the “Pixie”. It is effortless, but sophisticated and glamorous, showing us that short hair can be exceptionally feminine. Reminiscent of the 20s and 30s, the twisted roll-up style was very popular among top designers this spring. Gucci, Prada and Louis Vuitton, to name a few, all used the style this season for its simplicity to contrast the bold stripes and colors of their collections. A more wearable adaptation can be achieved by first blow-drying the hair smooth. Part where desired. Next, twist the hair just behind the ear, along the perimeter of the head on both sides until they meet at the center of the nape, forming a ponytail. Then, fold the ponytail into itself and secure it in a relaxed manner. This style looks very pulled together, without a lot of effort. It is perfect for day or evening. The romance of the 40s and 50s Hollywood were revisited at the 2011 awards shows. One of the most enjoyed was the long hair swept to one side cascading over the shoulder. To get started, set hair on hot rollers or use a big-barreled curling iron to achieve natural looking waves. Comb a deep side part into the hair. Twist or braid the hair behind the ear on the side where the part begins and anchor it into place. Let the other side drape in front of the shoulder. This is a key style for any elegant function. The 60s introduced an iconic haircut that is being embraced today…the “pixie”. The new pixie is being worn with more length on top and a more asymmetrical fringe. The sides and back are headhugging to create a sleek silhouette. This haircut is extremely easy to style and is very versatile. Hair this spring proves that the classics are always relevant. Simplicity and ease are always in fashion.

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healthy you

Varicose veins:

What you need to know about treatment by Susan M. Weeks, MD, Wake Radiology

They ache and burn. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s difficult to stand or sit for an extended time. Nearly everyone with varicose veins experiences swelling, heaviness and even tingling in their legs. While varicose veins can develop at nearly any age, they are more common in middle to older aged adults. In the United States, more than 80 million people are reported to have symptoms related to venous insufficiency.

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Over the past decade, the greatest population growth in the United States has been in those over age 55. From 2000 to 2005, this age group increased 13 percent, and the rate of growth was more than four times the rate of those under age 55. This trend is expected to continue. As the population ages, more people are developing varicose veins that impact their quality of life. While most think that it’s a problem primarily for middle to older aged women, about 25 percent of patients are men. Women are more likely to develop problematic veins due to multiple risk factors such as hormonal influences during pregnancy, puberty and menopause, and use of oral contraception. Men usually have a family history of the condition. Other contributing factors may include high blood pressure, being overweight, lack of exercise and smoking. Most patients will first notice a slight pain or burning in their legs, followed by swelling, aching, throbbing, itching and heaviness in the affected area. “While these symptoms are the same for both men and women, women are more likely to seek medical attention for them earlier,” says Susan Weeks, MD, an interventional radiologist who specializes in minimally invasive vein treatments at Wake Radiology. “Men, on the other hand, often times wait until the condition has worsened.”

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In many cases, according to Dr. Weeks, men seek medical intervention after they have pain, swelling, skin changes and difficult-to-treat ulcers. “Men should not wait until their symptoms are debilitating or significantly affecting their lifestyle. Many therapies are available for patients that allow them to quickly recover so that they can return to normal activities.” What are varicose veins and why do they cause so much discomfort? Varicose veins are swollen, enlarged veins that appear purple or blue on the skin. Varicose veins form when the valves inside the veins that open for blood to flow to the heart stop working correctly, resulting in blood pooling in the veins. It is the large, superficial veins that usually cause problems. Smaller spider veins form on the surface of the skin and can also cause symptoms, including burning and itching. Malfunctioning venous valves are diagnosed through a physical examination and ultrasound testing. In many cases, secondary varicosities are visible, but ultrasound can identify the underlying malfunctioning superficial vein. Using sound waves through Doppler ultrasound, physicians can locate the exact point of the valve malfunction. “Some patients who are only having minimal pain or fewer symptoms may choose a conservative treatment, such as wearing compression hose,” explains Dr. Weeks. “The hose compresses the veins, hopefully resulting in diminished venous pressure to the superficial veins to promote blood flow through the leg veins and inhibit fluid accumulation. Leakage of fluid from the veins into the surrounding soft tissues is also decreased. However, this does not in any way repair the valves or improve the varicose veins.” If a patient has more severe symptoms or if the hose do not

provide adequate relief, other treatments are available. “We treat chronic venous insufficiency or valvular dysfunction by using catheter-directed ablation of the underlying problem vein, removing secondary varicosities through tiny access sites, and sclerosing any smaller varicosities or spider veins as needed.”

What are the Most Common Procedures to Treat Varicose and Spider Veins Endovenous Laser Treatment (EVLT) – a minimally invasive procedure using imaging guidance and laser technology. Ablates the main superficial veins to allow decompression of secondary varicosities and allows healthier veins to take over. Sclerotherapy – an injection that irritates the lining of the vein and causes it to fibrose and be absorbed by the body. Used to treat spider veins and small- to medium-sized varicose veins. Ambulatory phlebectomy – an in-office procedure where medium and large varicose veins are removed through tiny puncture holes in the skin. The vein is hooked through the small opening and gently removed one section at a time. Cosmetic laser technology – a topical laser is directed on small spider veins, causing them to seal and be absorbed by the body.

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mingles

Charlotte’s Bridal Fair Charlotte’s in Cameron Village held their Bridal Fair on February 22nd. Brides received free gifts, met with vendors and registered for gifts as they enjoyed drinks and refreshments.

Compassionate care award On February 25th, Duke Raleigh Hospital and The P.G. Fox Society awarded the first annual Compassionate Care Award to Ralph Moore during the annual P.G. Fox Society dinner at the Carolina Country Club. Moore received the award in recognition of his lifetime of leadership and passion for selfless service and civic duty.

dsparada Color Salon Blues Festival dsparada Color Salon hosted a blues festival March 19th for Spare Some for Autism. The afternoon included the sounds of three blues bands, a hat fashion show, silent auction and pig picking, raising money for Raleigh’s largest autism foundation.

C.T. Weekends Fashion Show C.T. Weekends held their fashion show on April 7th. They named Assistance League of Raleigh the charity of choice for their fashion show luncheon held at Solas Restaurant. The Assistance League of Raleigh received a portion of the proceeds from ticket sales. Guests enjoyed a fabulous show featuring the latest trends and accessories.

PURE BARRE GRAND OPENING PARTY Pure Barre’s held its grand opening party March 5th at their new North Hills location. The new studio offers calorie burning, total body workouts.

Saks Fifth Avenue

Saks Fifth Avenue, in partnership with Crape Myrtle Festival Inc., LGBT Center of Raleigh and Alliance of AIDS Services Carolina, held a fashion show on Thursday, March 10th with Eric Jennings, Saks Fifth Avenue Men’s Fashion Director. Guests learned the new rules of business dressing and enjoyed 15 percent off shopping with five percent of the proceeds benefiting Crape Myrtle Festival Inc., LGBT Center of Raleigh and Alliance of AIDS Services Carolina. midtownmag.com| 117

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mingles SCHOOL AUCTION On Saturday, April 9th Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic School held their annual auction to benefit the school. Over 250 people attended the gala, which was held at the Woman’s Club of Raleigh. The highlight of the evening was a “Diamond Drop” which was sponsored by Diamond’s Direct Crabtree followed by a live auction. Proceeds of the event go toward technology in the classrooms and school enrichment.

The 2nd Annual Spring Soiree to benefit National Students of AMF The Spring Soiree fundraising event was held on March 26th to benefit National Students of AMF, a non-profit that provides support for college students coping with an illness, or grieving the death of a loved one. The evening featured silent and live auctions as well as live entertainment. All proceeds will benefit college students who need help coping during times of despair.

USO Grand Opening On March 15th, the USO held their grand opening ceremony at RDU in Terminal 2. Guests enjoyed refreshements and a tour of the new facility.

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shops of baileywick holds open house

The Shops of Baileywick held their Spring Open House April 8th-10th. Guests enjoyed lots of giveaways, samplings and great deals throughout the shops, in addition to book signing and decorating seminars throughout the weekend.

Scout & Mollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Re-opening Party!

Scout & Mollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s celebrated their grand re-opening March 12th with a cocktail party at the new store in Cameron Village. Party-goers met shoe and jewelry designers while enjoying cocktails and music.

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upward basketball at trinity baptist church Upward Basketball and Cheerleading was a huge success again this year at Trinity Baptist Church. 414 children from all over Wake County played on 36 basketball teams and five cheerleading squads. Approximately 200 volunteers including prayer partners, coaches, referees, directors, clock operators and scorekeepers made this a greatÂ 7th year of Upward at Trinity.

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wedding guide mm tip in wedding.indd 1

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BY ILLYSE LANE This is not your traditional wedding guide. We’re not going to give you a timeline that must be followed. We’re not going to tell you that everything from your save-the-date cards to your thank you notes has to match. We’re not going restate what the etiquette books have written regarding what’s acceptable and what’s not. We’re not going to tell you that you must have a bride side and a groom side in the church. And we’re certainly not going to tell you that you have to have formal,

posed photographs. Because this is Midtown Magazine. And the Midtown bride is different. She’s a woman who knows what she wants. She’s timeless and classic, but can do a trend without being over-the-top. She’s good with a budget and makes choices well-suited to it, without forsaking style or elegance. She’s not afraid to register for what she wants, along with what she needs. And while she loves her ring, she loves her fiancé much more.

She’s mature in her mindset, regardless of her age. She’s intelligent and able to make her own decisions, but still wants to do things traditionally, with the help of her mother. And she’s not afraid to ask for help. She’s also a woman who squeezes in her wedding between business school finals. A woman who can plan and flawlessly execute exactly what she wants in only three months. She’s a woman with her own household and her own business. She’s a woman that may be getting married for the second time, yet wants and deserves all the bells and whistles. A woman who wants her wedding day to be one fabulous party with everyone, including her and her groom, having fun. So we’re here to point you in the right direction. To have our Midtown experts help get you moving. And with their suggestions, you’ll be able to make the day your own. Because that’s what a Midtown bride does.

The Midtown Bride:

FIQUET BAILEY SWAIN Married October 16th, 2010

Fiquet Bailey Swain may have been the ultimate Midtown bride. From her Midtown shop, Luxe Beauty Boutique, Fiquet, 33, applies make-up to those models you see in magazines. She’s the go-to girl for a bevy of Midtown beauties who are dedicated to her skincare and make-up lines. And over the years, she’s made hundreds of Midtown brides look fabulous for their wedding day. So it shouldn’t be surprising that all eyes were upon Fiquet as she planned her own wedding. Her story began on the night she met her husband, Darden Swain, at Vivace, just a stone’s throw away from her shop. “I was with friends, he was with friends, and we ended up standing by each other,” says Fiquet. “We

discovered all sorts of coincidences, such as him being suitemates with my college boyfriend and that we attended the same church growing up but went to different services.” For Fiquet and Darden, a short, threemonth engagement was the way to go. Knowing exactly what she wanted as far as ambiance and style for her wedding, Fiquet decided to handle all the details on her own. “I wanted it to be an intimate celebration of our marriage, with everything coming into the space being intentional,” she says. This meant finding the perfect blend of traditional elements that paid homage to their North Carolina roots, and mixing those up with a more urban feel that reflected Fiquet’s love of fashion and style. They chose to hold both the wedding and ceremony at The Stockroom at 230, a newly restored event space located in the heart of Downtown Raleigh. With the help of her mother, who generously decided to do all the flowers for the evening, the urban, sophisticated setting was transformed to a magical, outdoor night, complete with tree trunks spewing blooming flowers and tea lights that transformed into fireflies.

Fiquet was also transformed, channeling the 1940s in a strapless, trumpet-fit gown with a crumb catcher neckline from Priscilla of Boston and a veil bearing similarity to a dainty hat, complete with a flower and small birdcage. And of course, keeping with the times, her hair, styled by Von Kekel Salon, also reflected the era. While guests enjoyed a cocktail hour back at the Stockroom, Fiquet and Darden met at the capitol, spending a bit of time together before joining their guests. Upon arriving back at the venue, she and Darden made their entrance and walked straight into the warm, welcoming setting that she envisioned. They headed straight down the makeshift aisle while the bluegrass band played, to be married by the minister in a traditional ceremony, surrounded by an actual, standing circle of friends and family, cheering them on. After, guests enjoyed delicious Southern food provided by Ladyfingers Catering, including shrimp and grits, deviled eggs, fried green tomatoes with pimento cheese and of course, ham rolls. And no North Carolina tribute would be complete without a healthy dose of barbeque, followed by two sweet, local staples that partygoers were sure to enjoy as they danced liked mad to the tunes of the DJ – Krispy Kreme doughnuts and those signature cupcakes from The Cupcake Shoppe. “I want it to feel like it just happened, that it was effortless and not staged. Those are the best nights Darden and I have ever had,” says Fiquet.

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the wedding guide:

the wedding guide

the venue

PARTY HARDY:

While it’s absolutely essential to fall in love with the space where you’ll hold your wedding reception, it’s just as important to make sure the venue can meet all of your needs. And there are many elements to consider. So how do you find that perfect combination? Our Midtown experts help you through the process.

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF? When it comes to venue choices, options are endless, ranging from urban, upscale hotels to farmhouse settings, with everything else in-between. “You want to have an emotional connection to the space, and be able to see yourself there,” says April Maness of The Oaks at Salem, a private property offering numerous options for outdoor events. If you are having trouble narrowing down your choices, Kristie Taylor, catering sales manager for the Renaissance Raleigh North Hills Hotel, suggests considering what’s important to you. “It may be that the venue has a special meaning, offers a convenience factor with its location, or has guaranteed fabulous food,” says Taylor. As you consider your priorities, take into account your budget. THE NATURE OF THE SPACE: Wondering where the cocktail hour will be? How the food will be presented? If there’s space for a dance floor? The best way to answer your questions is to visit the venue. Taking a tour of the site will allow you to get a feel for the flow of your event. “This is also the time to gather all your information, discuss any wedding packages and services that will be offered as well as the pricing structure for the venue,” says Taylor.

The Oaks at Salem

TREND ALERT: “The outside tented ceremony has continued to be very popular, with many couples choosing to add touches that bring warmth and beauty to their day,” says Maness. “Brides are very interested in adding their own, modern flair to their wedding,” says Sandy Maccioli of Awesome Abode and Shops of Baileywick, a one-stop shopping destination filled with independent boutiques, tailored to meet many of your wedding day needs. “We’ve recently seen a demand for custom designed gazebos, covered with fresh flower or silk flowers.” These are especially desirable when the ceremony and reception are being held in the same location, and the bride and groom want to add something that is beautiful and also practical, whether it’s an indoor or outdoor wedding. When it comes to the layout of the reception, recent trends have emphasized creative table arrangements, using a mixture of square and round tables to provide some variety and extra dimension. Other couples are incorporating lounge furniture to deliver more of a club vibe.

GETTING THE HELP YOU NEED: Find out if your venue has an on-site coordinator dedicated to making sure your reception goes smoothly. “A full-service venue will have a wedding coordinator who will help you secure your details leading up to your day, and then, on the wedding day, manage your event from start to finish, including troubleshooting,” says Taylor. If your venue doesn’t offer an on-site coordinator, consider hiring a wedding planner. “The fact is, weddings go a lot more smoothly if there is an event planner,” says Maness. “A good planner can actually save you money in the long run by guiding you as you make decisions.” THE FINISHING TOUCHES: Your wedding day is one of the few days in life that can be all about you. Embrace the opportunity to find original items that can add a finishing touch that everyone will be talking about. “Whether you’re searching for greenery to mark a path or a flower cart to fill with fresh flowers at your reception, go exploring in your local boutiques,” says Maccioli. “You can get great ideas from designers willing to help you get what you want to make your reception look fabulous.” Most importantly, make sure you select a venue you trust that can meet all your needs. “You need to have a good working relationship with the venue, feel they are knowledgeable and also, willing to be flexible,” says Taylor. © JIM COLEMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

caterer. Regardless of the venue, you will be bringing in some of your own vendors. And it’s up to you if you want to hire someone on your own or work with a vendor from your venue’s preferred vendor list.

IT’S IN THE DETAILS: Read your contract carefully and ask about any surcharges that may be part of your wedding package. “Additionally, ask the venue what they supply so you know exactly what you’re responsible for,” suggests Maness. This will also help when it comes to determining the true cost of your event, eliminating any wedding day surprises. WORKING WITH VENDORS: The photographer. The flowers. The cake. The Renaissance Raleigh North Hills Hotel

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the wedding guide

the menu

FLAVORFUL FARE: may find that certain foods make more sense than others.

Tudi Martin of Ladyfingers Catering knows that a well-chosen menu, presented in a way that lends itself to the venue, can be one of the most memorable elements of your wedding reception. She offers tips on how to make sure that your caterer or venue delivers delicious fare on your wedding day. BE OPEN-MINDED You may think you’ve made up your mind about what you’d like to serve at your wedding until you begin discussing the details with your caterer. “Just like buying your wedding dress, it is possible that, after meeting with your expert, you walk out with something different,” says Martin. By discussing what you like, what you dislike, your budget and the type of venue, you

SIMPLICITY REIGNS When it comes to your menu, think in terms of simplicity. “You want food to be recognizable, and it’s good to stay away from extremes,” recommends Martin. Many Midtown brides opt for including a taste of Southern fare as a tribute to the area, with fried green tomatoes with pimento cheese, country ham rolls, shrimp and grits, and even oysters fried on site being popular. TASTE THE FLAVORS Most caterers will give you and your groom a tasting event, with some venues inviting you in for a sampling and others sending a meal home to be enjoyed in the privacy of your own home. This can be a fun date night, allowing you and your groom to connect over the planning details. PRESENTATION IS EVERYTHING In addition to the types of food, discuss whether

you envision a wedding with heavy passed hors d’oeuvres, scrumptious stations, a more formal, sit-down dinner, or perhaps a combination of all of the above. “We can help direct you on what style may be best for the flow of your event,” says Martin. “Additionally, if your caterer is familiar with your venue, she can offer suggestions on what has worked well in the past.” Serving Trend: Guests sitting down for a seated salad after a cocktail hour with passed hors d’oeuvres, followed by a controlled migration to a buffet. “This gives your guests the feeling of being waited on, yet shortens the actual act of waiting during dinner, which can help keep the party moving and have a dollar savings,” says Martin. FUN WITH FOOD Brides are recognizing that all that dancing can lead to even more hunger. These days, it’s not uncommon to offer snacks such as cheeseburger sliders and fries as the party winds down, leaving everyone to go home full and happy. Is there anything better?

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the invitations SETTING THE TONE:

You’ve got a stunning ring and have chosen a beautiful dress. You’ve reserved the church and the reception space. But nothing sets the tone for your wedding day more than your paper trousseau. Yes, you’ve read it correctly. By the time the big day arrives, you’ll likely have an entire paper suite. It begins with basics, such as the save-the-date cards and invitations. It can expand to include response cards, enclosures referencing hotel accommodations, programs, place cards and thank you notes, depending on the type of event you’re having. “Your paper trousseau is a sneak peek for your guests, giving them a preview of what is to come,” says Charlotte Harris of Charlotte’s. With many choices to be made, Harris suggests setting up an appointment with your professional. “It’s common to think that choosing invitations will only take a short time,” says Harris “But once a bride begins looking around, she realizes there are lots of wonderful choices.” Besides being able to browse through numerous books that highlight all the diverse options that are available, what should you expect during your meeting? DISCUSS YOUR VISION “The location as well an any colors you may

have chosen will all come into play when choosing your paper,” says Amy Grace of the Invitiationbox.com. This is also the time to decide how much of your personality you want to shine through. “You may be a floral girl, a whimsical girl or an urban girl,” says Alison Kim Perry of Cute Buttons. “Whatever your style, you can find an invitation to fit your personality.” One recent trend? Brides who desire a more traditional invitation are opting to add a little spark through save-the-date cards, using photographs or styles reflecting favorite interests. DISCUSS YOUR BUDGET Before you fall in love with an invitation, know how much of an investment you’d like to make. “Modern brides are much more cost conscious. The good news is we can make an invitation beautiful at any price point,” says Perry. The biggest factor impacting price is the type of printing style you choose, with options such as letterpress, engraving, flat printing and calligraphy. “Brides should realize that as long as they select fine paper, we can guarantee a phenomenal, expensive look, regardless of the printing style,” says Harris.

Cute Buttons

Invitationbox.com

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Va Men

Charlotte’s

THE SECOND TIME For some women, venturing down the aisle for the second time holds even greater meaning and significance. Don’t be afraid to celebrate and announce your news. “There’s no right or wrong way and you don’t have to be traditional or subdued,” says Perry. Most importantly, as you begin your search, remember that the rule is there are no rules. Let your invitations reflect the way you feel. Show your guests the good time that they’re in for. “Your wedding day is the first day of the rest of your life,” says Grace. “There’s no reason it shouldn’t be perfect.”

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TIMELY TRENDS Simple, clean and elegant reign supreme, with traditional invitations in ecru or white with black ink being popular. “However, brides today are choosing to add a twist through a ribbon or monogram,” says Harris. And when it comes to monograms, brides are not afraid to go against what the traditional etiquette books state as being acceptable. “The result is a custom look that blends the best of traditional timelessness with a modern flair,” says Harris. “Layered cards, shimmer tones, pockets and brides using multiple colors are popular,” says Grace. “Color choices we see trending include Tiffany blue paired with white or black, orange and pink, black and lime, and purple and gray.”

the wedding guide

Varsity Men’s Wear

the tuxedo

DRESSING THE GROOM:

If you’re planning your wedding, you are probably close to saying yes to your dress. But have you thought about your groom? Brides today want their grooms to look and feel just as fabulous as they will. And one of the easiest ways to accomplish this is by encouraging your husband-to-be to invest in a tuxedo. So grab your man and pass him this page, as Harry Pollack of Varsity Men’s Wear explains the benefits to owning your own tuxedo.

THE PERFECT FIT It’s your wedding day. There’s no excuse to show up in a jacket that doesn’t sit quite right on your shoulders or pants that are too baggy in the rear. Investing in your own tuxedo guarantees you a custom fit suited to your physique. THE COST BENEFIT “Keep in mind that if you rent a tuxedo only four times, you’ll have paid for a nice tuxedo,” says Pollack. In addition to your own wedding,

you’re likely to have other formal occasions to attend. It’s an investment that makes financial sense.

TIMELESS STYLE If you go with a traditional cut, you’ll also guarantee yourself years of use. And what is traditional? “It’s black, single or double breasted, with either pleated or plain front pants,” says Pollack. “And the lapel would be either a shawl, peak or notch.”

The Midtown Bride:

PARKER SWANN WILSON Married October 10th, 2009

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chandeliers with crystals, circular couches, and mirror-tabletops supported by table legs made out of orchid-filled vases. Parker also had a few surprises of her own, including changing into a white J. Crew sheath dress, chosen only two days before the wedding. “I was glad the gown I was married in was more traditional,” says Parker. “But I was ready to have something a little lighter and more comfortable for the reception.” For Parker, the day couldn’t have gone any better. “Our goal was to honor God, our families and our friends with everything we did, and of course, have fun,” says Parker. And she can’t help but smile when she remembers that football game, many years ago.

Thomas Wilson had an effect on Parker Swann Wilson, 26. So much so, that this very Southern lady went so far as to place a quick phone call to him after their brief meeting at a UNC-Chapel Hill football game, just so he knew a few essential facts. Thank goodness she did. For that phone call was followed up with a date, and the rest, as they say, is history. For Parker, who was getting ready to begin her first semester of business school at UNC-Chapel Hill, enlisting the help of a wedding planner was essential. “I was going to have five finals the week of my wedding,” says Parker. “I knew I was going to need help.” Even though Parker grew up in Lexington in a home well suited to host a wedding, she and Thomas decided on a Raleigh location. Wanting their out-of-town guests to enjoy

themselves without having to rent a car, she immediately reserved a block of rooms at the Renaissance Raleigh Hotel at North Hills, located close to the church, Holy Trinity Church at St. David’s School. With a meticulously planned reception, to be held at the Umstead Hotel, was in store for nearly 400 guests, Parker and Thomas wanted to make sure the ceremony was planned with the same consideration. “For both, we wanted to blend traditional elements that we knew were important to us and our families, but also, add a bit of modern, funky touches,” says Parker. “All, of course, with excellent food.” On her wedding day, Parker prepared to walk down the white aisle, surrounded by pillar candles and white orchids on pews facing each other that blended the seating for both families, signifying the beginning of her and Thomas’s life together. She emerged in a traditional gown with slight embellishment designed by Austin Scarlett, the winner of Project Runway. Her bridesmaids each carried a traditional bouquet with their initials and a personalized scripture verse embroidered on the ribbon. As a tribute to her grandfather, Parker carried a loose bouquet of orchids from his home, as music handpicked by Thomas played. Then, it was time to celebrate at the Umstead. The night’s biggest surprise? The patio, which had been transformed to feel like a South Beach night club, with purple lighting,

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the wedding guide

COMPLETING YOUR TABLETOP:

the registry

Maybe you’re the kind of girl that’s been dreaming about your china pattern since you shopped for your best friend’s wedding. Or maybe you’re more the type to grab takeout from your favorite restaurant on your way home from the office, without much thought to your everyday dishes and flatware. Either way, one thing’s for sure. You’re about to be a bride. And it’s time to make some decisions. “We recommend you start by talking with the consultant about your lifestyle,” says Kristen Anderson, owner of Quintessentials. “This will help make sure you end up with what you need.” To begin, consider how much you entertain, what kind of pieces you currently have, and how much you are interested in adding to your current collection. Remember, this is more than just asking for presents. This is about setting up your future home. It’s essential to ask for items that you not only want, but items that you can actually see yourself using. So what exactly does a woman need as she transitions from bride to newlywed? Anderson helps us break it down. THE COMPLETE TABLETOP APPROACH Even if you have already established your own

household, you may want to start fresh. This means considering items such as: • • • • • • •

Flatware Everyday dishes Glassware Service Pieces and Accessories Crystal Fine China Linens

ABOUT FINE CHINA If you are unsure about registering for fine china, consider whether or not you plan on entertaining. If you envision a house full of dinner parties and holiday get-togethers, fine china is an essential. The trend today is to mix and match. “A classic white dinner plate sitting on top of a fabulous charger with a funky salad plate is something we see a lot,” says Anderson. If you’re inheriting a pattern from a grandmother or you are tying the knot for the second time and want to mix with your current dishes, you have plenty of options. Anderson suggests bringing a few of your pieces into the store when you shop.

down that’s more expensive,” says Anderson. “But remember, if you truly need it and love it, it’s the time to ask for it.” THE SHOPPING EXPERIENCE With many choices to be made, you may feel more comfortable bringing in reinforcements, such as your mother, your sister or your closest friend. Most importantly, while it can be tempting to run to the closest big box store and zap bar codes to pull your registry together, there’s something to be said for the personal service that can be found in a smaller shop. “Not only is the service going to be better, but once your wedding day comes and goes, your registry will still be on file, so family and friends can add to your collection when special occasions arise and help with replacements if needed,” says Anderson.

SPAN THE PRICE GAMUT So you’ve fallen in love with crystal that’s $250 a stem. Should you feel guilty about registering for it? Absolutely not, as long as you balance your higher priced items with those that are more reasonably priced, offering various gift options for all. “Sometimes, brides do feel they could be judged for putting something

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PERSONAL PROTECTION:

the prenup

What? Did you read this correctly? In the midst of discussing flowers and paper and pictures, we’re going to preach about prenups? Yes. You see, we know you’ve got the love goggles on. And you’re thinking, why would I ever need a premarital agreement? To be fair, there is a chance that a prenup may not make sense for you. “A prenup is designed to protect an asset that you have, and many young couples walking down the aisle for the first time are not bringing a lot to the table,” says Marc Sokol, founding partner with Wake Family Law. But if you’ve worked hard to accumulate assets, if you’re a successful business owner or professional, or if you are getting married for the second time and want to look out for your children, a prenup may be in your best interest. IT’S SMART BUSINESS SENSE: “A premarital agreement should not be looked at as planning to fail,” says Lynn Wilson Lupton, partner with Smith Debnam Attorneys at Law. “It’s making a conscious decision about how to deal with money ahead of time, so if it your marriage were to dissolve, you can address it without the emotional component.” FACE THE DIVORCE FACTS: Unfortunately, many marriages do end in divorce, with the rate being even higher for second and even third marriages. “This is chance to lay all the cards on the table, talk about your expectations in terms of contributing to your family,

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and become aware in advance of any financial obligations,” says Sokol. THE FINANCIAL AND EMOTIONAL IMPACT: North Carolina has specific laws on how to deal with property, assets and spousal support. A prenup is your chance to bypass those laws and reach agreement based on your own situation, which can save you significant heartache and dollars should your marriage end. “We don’t see the couples that can agree. We see couples that are emotional, where someone is being unreasonable,” says Lupton. “Emotions are raw.” “The legal fees associated with a divorce can range from $25,000 – $50,0000. A prenup can eliminate this,“ says Sokol. So if a premarital agreement makes sense, how do you begin the discussion? Our experts agree that the number one rule is to have these discussions far enough in advance of the wedding day, perhaps even before the engagement. If you think you are a good candidate for a premarital agreement, have a consultation with an attorney. And, if you are being asked to sign an agreement, don’t view it as a negative – instead, take the time to get your own lawyer and approach the topic as a business decision. View it as an opportunity for full disclosure and open discussions. For if you can have that going into your marriage, you are already headed in the right direction.

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the wedding guide

the photography

PICTURE PERFECT:

You’ll always have your wedding day memories, but your photographs will be your keepsakes. They’ll take you back to those butterflyinducing moments and you’ll end up showing them to your children, who will never believe that at one time, you were that young! So take careful steps to make sure the photographer you hire is well prepared to do the job – and it’s the job you want. “It’s important that you have a connection with the photographer,” says April Maness of April Maness Photography. “The wedding day is very busy, it can be hectic, and your photographer will be right there with you for much of it.” “It’s also important to make sure the photographer has the artistic ability to create exactly what you are looking for,” says Julianne Corso of Corso Photgraphy. “Take the time to familiarize yourself with the photographer’s style.” The easiest way to find a photographer is to tap into referrals from friends, families and the vendor list from your venue. During your initial conversations, be sure to discuss your budget, as there are many factors that can influence the cost, including the number of albums and prints you

order. If your photographer is unfamiliar with your venue, make sure she is willing to visit the location ahead of time to get an idea of the layout. This is also a good time to check credentials. “In today’s day and age of digital photography, it’s important to know that you are hiring a true professional,” suggests Corso. Plan on having your photographer with you most of the day, as the trend now is to not only get traditional, portrait-type shots before the ceremony, but to document the day by telling the whole story. “Right now, when it comes to trends, a more photojournalistic approach is in, with brides desiring more candid shots, beginning earlier in the day,” says Maness. “Black and white photos have also remained popular, as the simplicity of the photo really allows you to see the emotions of the moment.” While you’ll have all the professional photos to remember your wedding day, Maness suggests adding a fun element to the reception by considering a photo booth. “This has been a tremendous hit at parties, letting not just the bride and groom, but guests, capture the good time they’re having.”

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the wedding guide

the cake

HOW SWEET IT IS:

Back in the day, wedding cakes were all about stacked tiers of decadent décor, designed for the ideal photo of the bride and groom making the ceremonious cut, only to be sliced, distributed and often left behind without much regard for whether or not guests truly savored the taste. Oh, how times have changed. “The modern bride is more interested in an understated yet elegant cake with a guaranteed good taste,” says Sara Coleman, owner of The Cupcake Shoppe. And the cake no longer takes the spotlight. Instead, it’s made room to share premier billing with the cupcake, which has long surpassed its time as the trendy must-have and more recently, secured its place as a wedding staple. While there are brides who choose to serve only cupcakes, the most common trend is to pair the two, offered as presentation of cupcakes alongside a smaller-sized cake that’s appropriate for cutting and sharing.

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the wedding guide When it comes to flavor, the classic vanilla cake with buttercream frosting continues to reign supreme as the choice for a more traditional wedding cake, often decorated with just one or two flower blooms or the single monogram. “We are seeing a more toned-down trend; the simple, classic design with an added touch,” says Coleman. The result is a clean look that’s a throwback to a traditional elegance with a twist. What about those delicious cupcakes? This is the place for you to inject your personality by choosing a custom, fun flavor. “Both red velvet and carrot cake are always popular,” says Coleman. And there’s no right or wrong as far as the cake and cupcakes having to match. It’s strictly a personal choice. If you just can’t decide between dark chocolate cake with chocolate icing or coconut cake with vanilla buttercream, there is a solution. To help you choose, the baker you hire should offer you a tasting, where you’ll be able to sample the various concoctions. “We’ll also guide you with regards to your budget, the number of guests you are having and your wedding theme to make sure you get exactly what you want and what you need for your big day,” says Coleman. And what could be sweeter?

The Midtown Bride:

JANE SMOTHERS FERGUSON

The boy next door does exist. And Jane Smothers Ferguson, 28, married him. This Wake County ESL teacher met Drew Ferguson after finishing grad school at UNC-Chapel Hill and moving to Raleigh. “He was right on the other side of the sidewalk,” remembers Jane. “Our friendship developed, and then, we started dating.” In April 2009, there was an unexpected twist. Just as Jane prepared to give Drew his birthday gift, he turned the tables, surprising her with a marriage proposal. They decided on a fall wedding, right before the holiday season kicked in. With only six months to plan, Jane chose

to be her own wedding planner, knowing that she’d have help from her mom, her sister and Drew if need be. “I didn’t overanalyze my choices. It was actually pretty easy for me, I just went with my gut,” says Jane. The first order of business? Securing the church. Jane knew they’d be married at Edenton Street United Methodist Church by Drew’s childhood friend. But deciding where to hold the reception required some thought. “I’m from Greensboro and we knew there’d be outof-town guests. It was important to have the reception at a place where our guests could stay, but also have lots to do,” says Jane. The Renaissance Raleigh Hotel at North Hills fit the bill, with the North Hills area serving as the perfect backdrop for the wedding festivities. Jane’s wedding day kicked off with a bridesmaid’s luncheon at Coquette, where the ladies enjoyed brunch with a French flair. “I really wanted to be surrounded by the women in my life who supported me,” says Jane. Later in the day, the guests gathered for the traditional ceremony. As her eight bridesmaids waited in classic, long navy dresses alongside her groom for Jane to enter the church, guests were treated to a surprise. When the doors opened, the organ stopped and bagpipes began playing. “Only Drew and I knew we were going to do this,” says Jane. “It was a great moment.” Back at the Renaissance, the 200 or so

guests gathered for the celebration, where they danced into the night and dined on a scrumptious buffet with a Southern feel, including shrimp and grits, grilled vegetables and ham and biscuits. There was also a potato bar, with servings dished out in martini glasses – a twist guests couldn’t stop talking about. “We got a lot of feedback on how outstanding the food was,” says Jane. In addition to the traditional wedding cake, a custom cake, based on the save-thedate card that had incorporated Jane’s favorite children’s book, The Giving Tree, was served. And at the end of the night, guests bid farewell to the happy couple with candles in hand, singing Christmas carols, joining the tree-lighting ceremony already in progress at North Hills. “It was such a great wedding, and I would do it all over again without changing a thing,” says Jane. “But most importantly, it was all about the marriage and finding the right guy.” © LAUREN MANN PHOTOGRAPHY

Married November 21, 2009

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the wedding guide

the flowers

As your wedding evolves and takes shape, your florist should be open to meeting about two more times, including at the venue, so your floral plan can be tweaked if need be. “It’s normal to change your mind on some of the details as you make other decisions,” says Davis-English. “Our goal is that when you look at your flowers, you will see yourselves.” For in the end, your flowers should work cohesively, telling your own, petal – perfect, beautiful story.

Flowers have come a long way. Gone are the days of perfectly mounted bouquets, tight and formal. “These days, your wedding flowers should show your personality,” says Cydney Davis-English of The English Garden. Brides have embraced a more artistic, soft approach to their flowers, treating them as an accessory as opposed to a required element. For the ceremony, brides are gravitating toward free-flowing, cascading

bouquets, with their bridesmaids using more unique flowers that expand the color palette. “The sophisticated, mature bride cares about her flowers; it’s an affordable luxury for her,” says Davis-English. And it’s more than what the bridal party is wearing and carrying. From church weddings to garden receptions, from the country clubs to the renovated older building, flowers can take a prominent role in reflecting the flavor and feel of the both the ceremony and the reception. “Roses, peonies, stephanotis, gardenias and hydrangeas never go out of style,” says Davis-English. So how do you begin? Do your homework and choose your florist just as you would any other vendor, through the use of referrals and your venue’s vendor list. “You should plan on having an initial consultation, where you can review your budget as well as begin to think about the role flowers should play in your day,” says Davis-English.

PETAL PERFECTION:

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