April Fools Issue

Page 1

Non-Profit Org. US Postage PAID Permit #19 Mercer Island, WA MERCER IS SCHOOL DIST 400

in this issue Features 4 my girlfriend (who goes to another school)

PE Credit 5 diary of a pe credit athlete

Spread 6-7 breaking news Facts 9 anti-vaxxer catches feelings

Ben’s water bonanza 10 for full effect, dip in water

Walking For Fitness: A Retrospective One small step for walking, one giant leap for fitness Ben Capuano and Ethan Preston PE Credit Active-ists

Is Walking for Fitness a sport? You pose a difficult question there, but I have to to tell you this: that is the dumbest question I have ever heard. Walking is the most athletically intensive activity offered at our school. The program has been offered for a few years now, but it has quickly garnered significant criticism for not being a real Physical Education activity. Not only is that a complete ignorant and intellectually vacuous position. It is completely and utterly false. Walking for Fitness is the most demanding SPORT at MIHS. Tell me, have you ever had to walk for minutes, tens of minutes through the 100 and 300 halls through the rain and snow? Have you ever been left behind by the group and had to find your way from the megablock to the entrance of the school all on your own? Have you ever had your heart broken by Cree saying today we’re walking to Island Park instead of QFC? Have you ever felt ashamed of yourself, following in the footsteps of the fearless god of walking, Toby Lynn Swanson? (continued on page 5)


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