Generations
DECEMBER, 2015 | A SUPPLEMENT TO THE JEWISH LIGHT
Hitting the Chai notes Meet a few of St. Louis’ Jewish musicians performing today
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2 Nissan, 5774 / April 2, 2014 / Vol. 67 / No. 14
STEAM-ing ahead
Light names 2014 class of Unsung Heroes BY DAVID BAUGHER SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH LIGHT
Oy! Magazine The latest edition of our quarterly Oy! Magazine is inside this week’s issue. The 52-page magazine focuses on the theme of ‘Generations.’
COHNIPEDIA Read all about it Editor-in-Chief Emeritus Bob Cohn looks at the history of Jewish journalism in St. Louis, which began long before the Light. — Page 6
ONLINE Latest blogs Read the latest from Laura K. Silver and fitness blogger Cathleen Kronemer. stljewishlight.com/blogs
Index ChaiLights ....................... 18-20 Classifieds ............................22 D’var Torah ............................20 Features .......................... 14-15 Healthwatch ................... 14-15 Jewish Lite ............................24 Jews in the News ............ 16-17 Local news .......................... 2-5 Nation/world news ............. 7-9 Obituaries .............................23 Opinions ......................... 10-11 Simchas ................................21
Candlelighting Shabbat starts Friday, April 4, 7:08 p.m. Shabbat ends Saturday, April 5, 8:07 p.m.
Saul Mirowitz Jewish Community School students Max Lagoy (right) and Jonathan Teagan work on a class project as part of the school’s first STEAM day, which challenged students to find creative solutions to their given projects, utliizing science, technology, engineering, art and mathematics. For more, read Editor Ellen Futterman’s ‘News & Schmooze’ column on page 2. Photo: Yana Hotter. For a gallery of images, visit stljewishlight.com/multimedia
Hobby Lobby case splits Jewish groups BY RON KAMPEAS JTA
WASHINGTON — For 20 or so minutes last week, the issue of religious freedom was cast as a struggle between working women and Muslim and Jewish butchers. The pointed questions posed March 25 to the Obama administration’s chief lawyer by three U.S. Supreme Court justices got to the heart of whether businesses have the same constitutional religious protections as individuals. National Jewish groups, united 20 years ago in passing the law that consolidated the religious freedom protections, are on opposite sides in the current battle at the Supreme Court, which is considering two federal court decisions concerning President Barack Obama’s signature legislation, the 2010 Affordable Care Act. Seven Orthodox groups in an amicus brief said rights
established under the Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 1993 should extend to companies that do not wish to provide certain kinds of contraceptive coverage to their employees. Nine Jewish advocacy groups in two separate briefs said the rights of women seeking such coverage should be preeminent. Under the Affordable Care Act, commonly referred to as Obamacare, companies must make available to their employees in their health insurance policies the full range of mandated coverage, including contraceptive services. There is an exemption for religious institutions and a work-around for their affiliated nonprofits. Two for-profit companies, Hobby Lobby, a crafts chain, and Conestoga Wood Specialties, a cabinet maker, both privately owned by devout Christians, objected to the contraceptive mandate.
Hobby Lobby won in court, Conestoga lost and the Supreme Court is now settling the case. While the case is about contraceptives, the issue of kosher slaughter ended up being a big part of the backand-forth during oral arguments. Citing recent Danish legislation, Justice Samuel Alito, an appointee of President George W. Bush, asked Solicitor General Donald Verrilli what rights would be available, given the administration’s arguments on behalf of the contraceptive mandate, to kosher and halal butchers should Congress ban their ritual slaughter methods as cruel. “What would a corporation that is a kosher or halal slaughterhouse do?” Alito asked. “They would simply have no recourse whatsoever.
See COURT CASE, page 8
From a seventh-grade philanthropic entrepreneur to a 90-yearold High Holiday service leader, this year’s Unsung Heroes lineup has someone to fit every flavor of volunteerism as it highlights those whose vital contributions have flown under the radar for too long. Eight individuals, one couple and one group will be recognized this year as part of the St. Louis Jewish Light initiative begun in 2010 to spotlight people who give generously of their time. “People aren’t doing the good things that they are doing just to be honored,” said Jan Baron, one of three co-chairs for the event, along with Milton Movitz and Faith Berger. “They are doing it because they know it is the right thing to do and they get great joy out of it. I know that it is a two-way street. People who give to the community also get benefits themselves because it is such a great feeling to be able to help.” Baron, herself, was previously honored with the award. She said that often the individuals involved don’t think of themselves as doing anything special. “The people that I called were so surprised and so humble,” she said, referring to this year’s class of Unsung Heroes. “It was so sweet to talk to them because they’d say, ‘Me? Oh, there are so many others that are more deserving of this award.’”
See UNSUNG, page 22 The 2014 Unsung Heroes • Marvin Beckerman • Toddy Goldman • Judy and Dr. Bob Hellman • Crown Center’s home meal delivery volunteers
• Sanford “Sandy” Jaffe • Sam Klein • Kathy Lebedun • Buddy Lebman • Neil Marglous • Myra Rosenthal
Help the Light honor this year’s group of ‘Unsung Heroes’ at the annual program and dessert reception at 7 p.m. May 21 at the JCC. The cost is $18 a person. For more information or to RSVP, call 314-743-3660 or go to stljewishlight.com/unsungrsvp
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December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
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Elaine Wernick Richard Svoboda Founded 1963 The Newspaper of the Jewish Community of Greater St. Louis 314-743-3600 • Fax: 314-743-3690 E-mail: news@thejewishlight.com Address for payments: P.O. Box 78369 St. Louis, Mo. 63178-8369 General Correspondence: 6 Millstone Campus Drive, Suite 3010 St. Louis, Mo. 63146 PROFESSIONAL STAFF EXECUTIVE Larry Levin Publisher/CEO Robert A. Cohn Editor-in-Chief Emeritus EDITORIAL Ellen Futterman Editor Mike Sherwin Managing Editor Eric Berger Staff Writer Elise Krug Editorial Assistant Barry Gilbert Copy Editor BUSINESS Kelly Richter Rebecka Wyrde SALES Shane Blatt Kelly Morris
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BOARD OF TRUSTEES OFFICERS Jane Tzinberg Rubin, President; Steve Gallant, Vice President; Jeff Golden, Vice President/Business Chair; Peggy Kaplan, Vice President; Diana Iskiwitch, Treasurer; Laura K. Silver, Secretary; Gary Kodner, Immediate Past President COMMITTEE CHAIRS Editorial: Ben Lipman; Business: Jeff Golden; Development: Sheri Sherman and Vicki Singer SUBCOMMITTEE CHAIRS Teen Page: Caroline Goldenberg and Lauren Sagel
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from the editor
F
or about 25 years, I was an adjunct instructor in the media department at Webster University. One of my students was a young man named Dave Simon. Dave’s focus in college was on music — he even had his own rock band — but he knew writing was important, which is why he was taking my class. Either that, or it was a requirement. I can’t say that I ever really knew. In any case, he once invited me to see his band play in the Duck Room at Blueberry Hill. I remember thinking he was a talented kid, and I figured he would go on to do something meaningful in music. I was right. Although he left St. Louis for a while, Dave eventually returned and started a music school for youngsters. It opened right as the movie “School of Rock” with Jack Black was being released in 2003. Given the fortuitous timing, I assigned one of my writers at the Post-Dispatch to do a story about Dave Simon’s Rock School. While Dave continues to operate a successful music school in Olivette, he has incorporated other changes into his life. Now 48, married and the father of three, Dave and his wife, Keri, have adopted an Orthodox lifestyle (he grew up Conservative). In a story by staff writer Eric Berger, Dave and other Jewish St. Louisans talk about their decision to become Orthodox as adults — and the reactions of family members and friends. Other stories in the magazine explore different generational bridges. One, by writer Bill Motchan, introduces readers to a half-dozen notable local Jewish musicians of various ages, some of whom grew up in musical families,
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contents DEPARTMENTS & FEATURES
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FOOD • Jewish Light food columnist Margi Lenga Kahn looks at the delicious knish.
14 CHERISHED JUDAICA • As a vol-
unteer educator about Judaism through Interfaith Partnership, Lenny Frankel keeps handy a Judaica kit ready to grab on the go.
Ellen Futterman, Editor St. Louis Jewish Light others who came to playing or singing on their own. Writer Lorraine Kee takes us inside a 60-year-old Jewish organization that, as she puts it, has inspired generational loyalty from its customers as well as from its volunteers. In addition to these stories, our regular magazine departments feature a story about everyone’s favorite Jewish delicacy, the knish, along with a profile of a local man whose passion is educating people of all faiths about Judaism. As I’ve stated before, the goal of Oy! Generations is to highlight stories that connect generations of families and friends in the St. Louis Jewish community and beyond. So, without further ado, as my friend and former student Dave Simon might say, rock on!
18 FEATURE • Several St. Louisans
discuss why they’ve become a ba’al teshuvah, choosing to embrace Orthodox Judaism.
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GENERATIONS OF VOLUNTEERS • For 60 years, The Miriam Switching Post has benefited from a dedicated group of volunteers.
30 FEATURE • A look at some of the Jewish musicians ‘hitting the chai notes’ in the St. Louis music scene and beyond.
ON THE COVER Clockwise from top left are musicians Mike Silverman, Alan Oxenhandler, Sandy Weltman and Ben Wheeler. Read their stories on pages 30-36. Photos: Bill Motchan
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The Knish Warm, tasty memories in a pastry wrapper
BY MARGI LENGA KAHN • SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH LIGHT
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rich cooking tradition born from a poor people with culinary ingenuity describes Yiddish cuisine at its best. Take, for example, the knish. Traditionally filled with a mixture of cooked potatoes and onions, both abundant and affordable in the shtetels of Eastern Europe, the pastry-wrapped snacks were a healthy, satisfying and delicious food that could feed large families on a tight budget. Today, this gem of a pastry continues to delight generations of Americans and people of all cultures and ethnicities the world over. Knishes came to America by way of Jewish immigrants who settled here in the late 1800s. While some families may have prepared the savory pastries in their apartments, most were working long hours and had neither the time nor the energy to devote to making them. Along came Yonah Schimmel, 8
December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Margi Lenga Kahn’s potato knishes (see recipe on page 42.) Photo: Mike Sherwin OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
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a Romanian immigrant scribe who began selling his wife’s knishes in 1890 from a pushcart on Coney Island. This gave many Jewish immigrants access to the iconic pastry, and other immigrants in the neighborhood — Irish, Italian and German — grew to like them as well. With business booming, Schimmel opened a small shop on Allen Street on the Lower East Side. In 1910, the shop moved to East Houston Street, where my daughter Kayla and I bought some knishes last year. For journalist Laura Silver (unrelated to Jewish Light blogger Laura K. Silver), the love and obsession of knishes led her to write the entertaining and well-researched book, “Knish: In Search of the Jewish Soul Food.” In her book, Silver traces the origins of
In the three photos at top, food columnist Margi Lenga Kahn rolls out the dough for her knishes until it is thin enough to be slightly translucent. Above, knishes fresh from the oven. Photos: Mike Sherwin the humble knish through her family’s journey from Eastern Europe to America. She celebrates the famous shop owners, such as Schimmel, Schwebel and Stahl, who popularized the knish in the United States. She also shares delightful knish-related stories and folklore. As a love for knishes grew beyond New York City, so did the number of delis and restaurants offering them. In St. Louis, store-made knishes, both meat and potato, can be found today at Pumpernickels, Kohn’s Kosher Deli, Protzel’s and the Posh Nosh.
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I spoke briefly with Michelle Boland, owner of the Posh Nosh, which will celebrate its 50th anniversary next summer. “I’ve been making knishes for the past 14 years,” she said. “I learned to make them from the woman who had been hired for that sole purpose by the previous owner. I still use her recipe. “It’s not hard, just time-consuming. I make a batch of over 100 knishes every 10 days. Our meat filling is made up of 50 percent roast beef, with a combination of corned beef, pastrami, turkey and salami, onions and our gravy mixture. The potato knishes
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feature our delicious mashed potatoes, Durkee’s French Fried Onions, and butter.” Posh Nosh was Amy Spetner Doughty’s go-to when she just had to have a knish. During the week, Spetner Doughty works as a school nurse; on the weekends, she is an on-call hospice nurse. She and her husband, Chad Doughty, have three kids. In other words, Spetner Doughty is not someone with a lot of free time. For her, however, knishes evoke childhood memories of wonderful Sunday night dinners at her baba and zayde’s house. She recalls her parents stopping to pick up corned beef, rye bread and knishes on the way to her grandparents’ house. Her baba would make the spaghetti with red sauce. “I really loved knishes as a kid,” she said. “So much so that I always ordered them at restaurants when we traveled on vacation. Now that her family has expanded, Spetner Doughty and her husband host Sunday night family dinners at their home in Olivette. Rather than buy the knishes, she makes them. “My mother gave me a cookbook, ‘Arthur Schwartz’s Jewish Home Cooking: Yiddish Recipes Revisited,’ which had a threepage-long knish recipe that was very difficult to follow,” she said. “I did a lot of research online and found a photo of a knish that reminded me of the ones from my childhood. “I followed the post to a blog, which led me to an instructive SERIES AT LEFT: A thick line of the potato filling is laid out on the dough, which is carefully stretched over the filling and rolled several times, brushing with oil in between rolls. Photos: Mike Sherwin 12
December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
See the recipe
Potato Knishes page
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YouTube video on making knishes,” she laughed. “Though they took the entire day to make, it was totally worth it.” Her kids enjoyed watching as she and her husband stretched the dough the length of their kitchen counter. Once she added the filling, it took both of them to roll it up. “I made at least 100 knishes and froze them by the dozens, unbaked, in freezer bags,” said Spetner Doughty, who attends Kol Rinah. “I have given a few bags away, and my family has enjoyed the rest. A fter Hanukkah, I plan to spend a day in the kitchen making another big batch.” Given that New York City is the American birthplace of the knish, it is little wonder that some of the most vivid childhood memories of this savory pastry are from St. Louisans who grew up on the East Coast. Brooklyn-born and raised Dan Sokel, a retired lawyer now living Clayton, viewed knishes as a special treat. He recalls after a long day of shopping, stopping at one of the many delis that lined the streets leading back to his neighborhood. “You’d pick up a knish the way you’d pick up a slice of pizza,” said Sokol, who belongs to Central Reform Congregation. “They really weren’t considered ethnic food. One usually did the job. They were big and plump and hot. I often burned my mouth biting into it, but the fire could
See KNISHES, page 42
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December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Tattered bag of treasures speaks to faith, family
By Susan Fadem Special to the Jewish Light
Like an endearing salesman, the kind the world could use more of, Leonard “Lenny” Frankel carries his wares. Expect no fancy-schmancy satchel here. Just a tattered paper bag, this one from Trader Joe’s grocery, missing its handles. Frankel, a graduate of Washington University School of Law 50 years ago, and the first name in the Clayton firm of Frankel, Rubin, Klein, Dubin, Siegel & Payne, obviously could afford better. Certainly cardboard, or even genuine leather. But that’s not the point. Frankel grew up part of a minority in East St. Louis. There, he and his young Jewish buddies, whose home locations and proximity to this one’s grandpa and that one’s aunt he’s never forgotten, attended Hebrew school four days weekly. Then they returned for Sunday school. The social lives of their parents revolved, invariably, around the synagogue. In Frankel’s case, his grandfather served as president for nearly 20 years, to be succeeded in time by Frankel’s cousin, who was so close to
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the family that Frankel affectionately call him “uncle.” Somewhere in this process, young Lenny must have learned that it’s the contents of your heart, not outer adornments, which matter most. Thus, as board vice president and a volunteer educator on Judaism with the Interfaith Partnership of Greater St. Louis, it seems fitting that Frankel schleps meaningful objects in a brown bag, cradled in his arms, lest its bottom fall out. Among those objects: a prayer shawl, yarmulkes, kiddush cup, hanukkiah (nine-branch candelabrum for the eight days of Hanukkah), a six-branch menorah, “The Jewish Book of Why” (both volumes), a prayer book and shofar. So that onlookers can safely experience firsthand what it means to blow a shofar, Frankel thoughtfully tucks a small bottle of rubbing alcohol and some cotton into his bag. “People really enjoy the shofar,” he says. At least three times annually, with help from other Jews who sometimes supplement his collection, the contents of Frankel’s bag are arranged on a table. Frankel’s table is one of several similar tables, each with a different faith’s symbols, displayed at the Interfaith Partnership’s fall dinner and celebration in early November and during the annual Festival of Nations in August under a tent in Tower Grove Park. Frankel has ample items for a preliminary conversion class. But, God forbid, that’s not his aim. Though some lawyers thrive on provocation, he takes an even-handed approach to religion. So, apparently, do those of other faiths who approach his table. “You do your best to answer questions,” he says. “If you’re really stumped, which you’re generally not, you can get back to someone.”
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December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
ABOVE: Lenny Frankel, with the grocery bag holding a variety of Jewish ritual items that he uses to help educate interfaith audiences about Judaism. PREVIOUS PAGES: A close up of Frankel’s menorah. Photos: Kristi Foster
For Frankel, another interfaith pleasure is meeting others, seeing them at subsequent partnership events and nurturing friendships. Many of Frankel’s personal items come with special sentiment. Why he
cherishes a particular item, however, usually goes unmentioned. Instead, he refers to the items of Judaica as “typical pieces you can find in any
See JUDAICA, page 41
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Choosing Orthodoxy, & loving it J
immy Fendelman, who grew up at Congregation Shaare Emeth in Creve Coeur, wanted to become a rabbi and lead a similar, large Reform congregation. After graduating from the University of Michigan in the late 1980s with a degree in psychology and then starting at Hebrew Union College in Jerusalem, he changed his mind. He decided to go to law school. Why didn’t he become a rabbi? He wanted to observe more of the Jewish rituals than was typical within the Reform movement, he said. Fendelman, 57, became more spiri-
Adults who take leap of faith have challenges to face an Orthodox lifestyle,” he said. “But it just seemed like a lot to take on, so I backed off and became a lawyer.” The paradox of Fendelman’s decision — a rabbinical student becomes more spiritual, so he becomes a lawyer — is only one of many interesting stories among Orthodox Jews in St. Louis who became more observant as adults.
By Eric Berger | Jewish Light Staff Writer tual while studying in Israel and then working as an assistant to the rabbi at Congregation B’nai Amoona. “I started to have this feeling that if I really had the guts, I would adopt
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December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Many people also move to University City because, they say, of a sense of community that comes from living near Orthodox synagogues and others who are religious.
(Chesterfield also is home to an Orthodox congregation, Tpheris Israel Chevra Kadisha, and an outreach organization, Aish HaTorah, an outreach organization.) But despite the convenience that comes with relocating to an Orthodox community, those who became more observant face many other challenges. The stories of how and why Jews like Fendelman became observant and what their lifestyles are today are more different than the characteristic kippah and conservative dress might indicate. “For some people, it’s about getting back in touch with their traditions that are thousands of years old,” said Rabbi Hyim Shafner of Bais
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Abraham Congregation, a Modern Orthodox synagogue in University City. “For other people, it’s a desire for the intense community that one finds in the observant world.”
A growing movement The ba’al teshuva – the Hebrew phrase that refers to Jews who become observant – have contributed to the significant growth in the University City Orthodox population. For example, in the past decade, Bais Abraham has doubled in size, to 150 members from 75, although most of its members didn’t grow up observant, Shafner said. Local Orthodox rabbis say more than half of the members at other synagogues in the area didn’t grow up observant. Orthodox organizations such as Aish HaTorah and the St. Louis Kollel have expanded their outreach efforts over the past two decades. This includes organizing group excursions
to Israel with a more religious theme than some Birthright trips, as well as programs such as a Torah & Turf football league, and Jewish medical- and business-ethics classes. As a result, “there have been a number of families that have chosen to move into UCity to be shomer Shabbos,” said Rabbi Shaya Mintz, director of programming and development at the St. Louis Kollel, a Jewish education resource. Some of the differences among the stories of ba’al teshuva, or BT, as they are sometimes called, relate to what stage in their lives they started to investigate Judaism more deeply. Differences also occur among those who keep Shabbat according to traditions ranging from Modern Orthodox to Chabadnik to haredi. Within each stream are varying degrees of engagement with the secular world. And then people have to figure out how to maintain relationships with family and friends who
Jimmy Fendelman 20
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are not as observant. In short, people don’t become observant Jews in a vacuum.
Inspired by romance Fendelman decided to take a year off from Hebrew Union College when he became disillusioned with “a much more political environment” than he expected. He started learning at the Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies in Jerusalem and then came back to St. Louis, where he made the decision to become a lawyer. When he was about 30, he attended an Aish HaTorah singles event and met Elana Magence, who grew up Orthodox. “I was working 50-hour weeks and knew if I was going to see her, it was going to have to be on weekends” in Chesterfield, where she attended an Orthodox synagogue, Fendelman said. The two have been married for 20 years and have four boys and a girl ranging in age from 5 to 17. Elana works as the office manager at Fendelman’s commercial law practice in Olivette. But like many people who become observant as adults, Fendelman had to figure out how to adapt his lifestyle. President of the board at Yeshivat Kadimah, an Orthodox high school in Olivette, Fendelman said he is one of a handful of lawyers in the St. Louis area who wears a yarmulke in court. “At first, it was pretty crazy not being able to touch a telephone for 25 hours, but you get used to it,” he said Fendelman. Shafner said he encourages people to become observant gradually because “if it happens too fast, it often doesn’t last.” “It has to be a process where they don’t give up themselves,” said Shafner, who has been at Bais Abe since 2004. “Rather, they cultivate themselves in addition to their Jewish lives.” Another consideration among spiri-
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December 2015
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Photo: Kristi Foster
Keri and Dave Simon
tual leaders is making sure both spouses are interested in learning more about Judaism, said Mintz, who has been at the Kollel for a decade. “If a husband walks into my office by himself, I say, ‘How come your wife is not here with you today? Does she know you’re here today?’ ” he said. “Because if a guy walks in by himself, that’s a red flag that one of them is inspired and the other isn’t. “We’re not here to break up marriages. We want the grip to get stronger.” Dave Simon, a musician and founder of Dave Simon’s Rock School, said he and his wife, Keri, probably became observant too quickly. The drivingforce six years ago was their two children. (They have since had a third.) “When we had kids, we were concerned that it seemed like the younger Jewish population was detached from being Jewish,” said Simon, 48, who was reared Conservative at B’nai Amoona. “We really started becoming more interested in how we could create 22
December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
a Jewish home that was going to inspire our kids to remain connected to Judaism.” Within six months, they decided “no more driving on Saturdays,” Simon said. He said the biggest “public coming out as Orthodox Jews is when we switched our kids to an Orthodox day school.” They also moved last summer to University City from Olivette. Despite that acclimation, Simon said, he still grapples with racy music lyrics in his business and keeps “one hand on the mute button” when listening to the radio with his children in the car. He is also concerned about what his children see on the Internet and while standing in the checkout line at Schnucks next to tabloid headlines. Simon suggested that all Orthodox Jewish are committed to keeping Shabbat and kosher but differ in how they “navigate through the secular world and outside influences that might be a little inconsistent with
Torah values.” “If you’re not comfortable with your kids listening to pop music, it’s going to be a little more challenging if the kids next door are,” he said.
‘Friction at first’ When Fendelman told his family that he was marrying an Orthodox woman, he said their reaction was: “ ‘Oh gosh, what’s this going to be like? Is he going to grow a beard down to his belly button? Is he going to try to convert us?’ “There was a little friction at first but, over the years, that has mellowed out.” His sister Jane Fendelman, 56, who lives in Phoenix, said family members occasionally have been annoyed because her brother and his family can’t come to events on Shabbat or eat at most restaurants. “There are times when others in the family would love to be able to have them over and cook for them, but they can’t because they don’t have a kosher
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December 2015
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The Silverman family
Photo: Kristi Foster
kitchen,” she said, describing herself “as similar to Jimmy in the depth of our spirituality.” “It’s kind of the same thing as when a person decides to become a vegetarian or vegan and the people around them have to adjust,” she said, adding that there is no resentment anymore about her brother’s lifestyle decision. Another sister, Maggie Peck, who lives in St Louis and owns a bed and breakfast, said her brother has become “the guy I go to when I have questions about Judaism.” Jennie Silverman, 46, a fellow University City resident, also has had to find ways to maintain relationships with family members even though she grew up in a kosher home in Clayton. It was actually the death of some family members that pushed her to search for a deeper meaning in life, she said. Her father died when she was 10; her grandparents died when she was in high school; and an uncle who had become a father figure died when she was 21. About that time, after graduating 24
December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
from Tulane University in 1991, she came back to St. Louis and was working at a restaurant, not thinking twice about eating cheeseburgers. She started learning with an Orthodox woman through Aish HaTorah and then went to Israel to spend a year studying. After going back and forth between Israel and the United States, she returned to St. Louis with plans to make aliyah but instead met her husband, a neurologist working at Scott Air Force Base. Todd Silverman grew up Reform but started learning more about Judaism because he played basketball at an Orthodox school where he met boys his age who were observant. He and Jennie were engaged after seven weeks and now have four children. Their relatives try to accommodate them, Jennie said, but still, they often have to miss family events. “One of the toughest parts is (missing) out on family simchas when they are on Shabbos,” she said. “We have to come after Shabbos. Everyone works with us and tries to do their best so we can be included.”
Conversely, their families love “coming for Shabbos and love coming to our seder, even though it goes till 2 in the morning.” For every Fendelman, Silverman and Simon, there is someone who grew up Orthodox but moved away from the commitment to Jewish laws, holidays and rituals. Among those raised Orthodox who are 30 to 49 years old, only 57 percent still identify with the movement, according to the Pew Research Center Survey of American Jews conducted in 2013. From ages 50 to 64, the number is 41 percent. However, those who are “FFB” (frum from birth) feed off the energy of the BTs, the Kollel’s Mintz said. “The beauty of having these new members come and join is there is a certain freshness and a spark and a thirst for Yiddishkeit and for Judaism that these adults are experiencing for the first time,” he said. “That enables those of us who have been doing it for a long time or doing it by rote to get inspired.”
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December 2015
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Sisters and Miriam board members Susie Luten and Linda Kintz are great-granddaughters of Fannie Landau, one of the founders of the Miriam Switching Post. Photo: Kristi Foster
Generations T Volunteers OF
Nonprofit resale shop with Jewish roots continues to rely on dedicated core By Lorraine Kee | Special to the Jewish Light
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December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
he Miriam Switching Post, founded 60 years ago by a group of philanthropic Jewish women, has a way of inspiring generational loyalty whether it is from its customers or its extraordinary volunteers and other supporters. For its customers, the appeal is the Switching Post’s upscale-resale inventory. Everything — from coffee table books to cookbooks, china to collectibles, lamps to table linens and furniture to fancy jewelry — is in gently-used condition, priced to sell and tax free. All donated, its eclectic inventory can move rapidly. For its volunteers and other supporters though, the source of their constancy is the store’s raison d’être. “I volunteer because of the good the store does for a lot of children,” said Sam Heyman, among the nearly 50 volunteers who largely run the Switching Post. The children, referred to by Heyman, attend The Miriam School and The Miriam Learning Center in Webster Groves, for young people with learning disabilities. All of the proceeds from sales at the Switching
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Post benefit the children who attend the school. Last year, that meant about $370,000 for student tuition assistance. The sum represented 37 percent of all aid raised by the Miriam Foundation for the school, where about 60 percent of students receive financial assistance. Naturally, the volunteers followed when the Switching Post moved in September to a more spacious location at 292 Hanley Industrial Court (at Strassner Drive) in Brentwood. “Our volunteers are very dedicated,” store manager Anne Carr observed. Take Heyman, 86.
Dedicated Men and Women Volunteer Elaine Morros calls Heyman “the best china wrapper” at the Switching Post. He’s had plenty of practice. Only sickness — including a bout with throat cancer — has kept Heyman from the store for his appointed shift. He was introduced to the Switching Post’s benevolence by his late wife, Helen Jean, a past president of the Miriam School Board. “Her baby was the Switching Post,” said Heyman, whose own family once operated the well-known millinery manufacturer, the Bertha Hat Company. Now her baby is his. After his wife died in 2002, Heyman started volunteering on Wednesdays at the store. He is instantly recognizable — behind the store’s counter on Wednesday afternoons — with his easy smile, sunny disposition and thick, white hair. Age has slowed him down a bit, Heyman said, but he continues to contribute the best he can. Volunteers work three-hour shifts at the Switching Post. They sort and unpack donations, clean and polish items, and wash and iron linen. They answer the telephone, check out customers and address envelopes. Some pick up donations; others repair furniture. They sell. Heyman recently marveled at the new location’s relatively luxurious 8,000 square feet compared to 5,200
Longtime Miriam Switching Post volunteer Sam Heyman checks ou a customer at the store, located at 292 Hanley Industrial Court in Brentwood. Photo: Kristi Foster square feet at its old location on Big Bend Boulevard. In its history, this is the Switching Post’s biggest showroom by far. The store traces its roots to the St. Louis chapter of a national
Jewish woman’s organization, the United Order True Sisters, founded in 1910. The store got its name as a place where people could switch out items, donated to the store, for new ones.
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t ter
Since its first store in St. Louis’ Central West End, Miriam has operated resale shops in Clayton, University City and for 15 years, in less generous quarters in Maplewood until its recent move. The new store also boasts more customer parking along Strassner Avenue, handicap accessibility and a larger workroom. The more donations the Switching Post takes in, the more merchandise can be put out on the floor and the more it will sell. Regular shoppers — including antique dealers, home stagers and interior decorators or people downsizing or moving — now have more one-of-a-kind and classic pieces to see staged. “Oh this is twice as big as what we had on Big Bend,” Heyman said, surveying the new showroom. “I think everybody likes the new place. You can see everything on the floor.” Heyman volunteers partly out of his wife’s memory. His other motivation is evidenced by the bright, smiling faces of Miriam students in large, full-color posters hung on the walls above the showroom floor. The images are a reminder of why they volunteer. “The volunteers are like a family,” Heyman said. “We care.” Take Barbara Silver, who for more than 50 years, has either volunteered at the school, the store or on the Miriam board.
Committed to the Cause A former Miriam classroom aide, Silver worked alongside the school’s talented teachers. She observed the difference the teachers – and the Switching Post’s contributions to its tuition assistance fund – made in the lives of students and their families. Miriam believes money should not be an obstacle to students getting the education and other services the school and learning center provide. About 100 students attend pre-kindergarten through eighth grade at the school. They have learning, communication, sensory/motor and attention dis28
December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
The Miriam Switching Post’s new home in Brentwood. Photo: Kristi Foster abilities. To help students succeed, the school takes a team approach to teaching, keeps classes small and provides special instruction to meet their academic needs and develop social skills. Through its learning center, Miriam serves another 700 students, ages three through 18 years of age. The center provides services to Miriam School and at about 25 partner locations in the St. Louis area including schools where students with learning disabilities attend regular classroom settings. “The aides were another pair of hands, another pair of eyes for the teachers at the school,” said Silver, who still serves on the Miriam board of directors and as chair of its annual giving campaign.
“When you started working with the students in September and saw what they were able to do in May…it was very rewarding to see,” she said. “I was learning more than I was giving.” Andrew Thorp, Miriam executive director, called “inspiring” the level of loyalty among the store’s volunteers and other supporters, especially given that people have so many different pulls on how they spend their time, talent and treasure. Yet, Thorp said, the support for Miriam has remained remarkably steadfast. That support is even passed from generation to generation in the same family. “The commitment to the kids is so strong,” Thorp said. Barbara Silver, current longtime supporter is shown (at right) in this undated photo.
Take sisters Linda Kintz and Susie Luten, who were born into their association with Miriam.
Generous Generations Their mother, Margie Frank, was a past president of the Miriam board and their great grandmother, Fannie Landau, was one of Miriam’s founders. By their teens, Linda and Susie were volunteering at earlier incarnations of the store: the Switching Post in Clayton and The Miriam Shop in University City. Yes, once upon a time, two stores operated simultaneously. One store was like a thrift shop; the other more upscale, they said. The sisters were put to work pricing items, cashing people out and setting up for sidewalk sales. It really never seemed like work though. It was fun. They loved spending time with their mother, witnessing firsthand a passion second only to her family.They recalled how their mother would bring home a broken lamp so it could be repaired for resale. “She’d fix it herself,” said Luten, 57, who furnished her first apartment with items from the store. “Mom held every position that could be held.” Added Kintz, 51: “The store was what she did. She didn’t preach giving. She practiced it.” Through their mother’s example,
“I didn’t know that,’’ Kintz said, sitting recently next to her sister on a sofa in the Switching Post showroom. The sisters had drifted away from volunteering at the store – to attend high school and college and then to start their own families. First Luten and then Kintz, nudged by their father’s subsequent passing, joined the Miriam board of directors. They think their mother and father, whose names grace a Miriam School playground, would be proud. “I know it is something that would Miriam Switching Post co-founder Fannie make them happy,” Kintz said. “But Landau is shown with granddaughter Margie that’s not the only reason why I am Frank. back. It’s for the children. It makes they learned about volunteering. They me feel good inside to be a part of it.” also came to understand that the more Near the store’s entrance, there is a merchandise they were able to sell, hand-written sign. Call it a sign of the more children could be helped. appreciation. It reads: “We knew where the money was “Thank you to our 2,500 generous going,” said Kintz, who tagged along donors, 4,000 frequent shoppers, 46 with her mother when she volunteered amazing volunteers, dedicated staff!!” at Miriam School. During those visits, after watching the Miriam teachers The Miriam Switching Post is open and students, Kintz fell in love with six days a week: Monday, Tuesday, teaching. She has taught pre-kinderThursday through Saturday from 10 garten and elementary school stua.m. to 4 p.m. and Wednesday from 10 dents for 22 years. a.m. to 7 p.m. For more information on Toward the end of her life, while she the resale store, visit tomiriamswitchwas in hospice in 2011, Margie Frank ingpost.org. For information about The asked Luten to take care of their father Miriam School and The Miriam and siblings. She also urged Luten, Learning Center, go to miriamstl.org/ “Please go back to Miriam.” school.
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Hitting the Chai Notes A look at some of St. Louis’ Jewish musicians performing today Story & photos by Bill Motchan • Special to the Jewish Light
T
The Brother Act
he life of a professional musician is a series of gigs, late nights, applause, and adulation. It also means many hours of dedicated practice and rehearsal. What led him to the bright lights of the stage? Everyone has a unique story. The stand-up bass play-
er went into the family business—his father played the instrument. The singer-tap-dancer-percussionist started out banging on a set of drums his father brought home from a pawnshop. One of St. Louis’ most prominent jazz players (and an academic) belted out Al Jolson tunes while other kids listened to rock and roll. While their musical styles and instruments vary, the musicians featured in this article have one thing in common: all were raised in Jewish households in University City. They are all music men and these are their stories.
The Brother Act
M
ention the subject of successful St. Louis area jazz musicians and the names Mike and Rob Silverman usually come up. The brothers have played together since they were kids growing up in University City, Mike on keyboard and Rob on the drums. They are nationally known for their unique take on Bach, Beethoven and other legendary composers. The brothers Silverman just jazz it up. They started out in a distinctly musical household. Mike and Rob’s father played cello for the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra and their mother taught piano and cello. Rob started out on cello, too, but after it was stolen, he
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December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
switched to drums. “It seemed like every kid in our neighborhood had a drum set,” Rob said. “There were a lot of kids from U. City who went on to become professional musicians. When we got a little older, we started hanging out in the Loop, because it was close to our house and we heard music at all kinds of places, Cicero’s, Blueberry Hill, Riddles.” Rob, 48, the older of the brothers (by four years), was into heavy metal and wore out his Rush “2112” album. He joined a rock band that needed a keyboard player, so Mike was recruited. They’ve been playing together ever since. Rob’s first paying gig was as the drummer for Ken Jannis and the
Golden Greeks, playing at festivals and restaurants, often sharing the bill with a belly dancer. For Rob, it was good experience, and paid for his car insurance. Their signature style—morphing classical and jazz music—was born when Mike was teaching piano. He knew a lot of classical music, and for fun, he’d tinker with the tunes. “During lessons, I’d improvise things, like take happy classical pieces and turn them into minor keys to be scary,” Mike, 44, said. “That gave me an idea that you could turn these classical pieces into something quite different, and Rob would change the rhythm and time signature and eventually they
The Ba
The Bassist
The Harmonica Player
turned into real songs.” Rob has taught drumming and wrote five instructional books on the subject, published by Mel Bay. One of those is called “Drum Lessons For Kids Of All Ages” and features cartoon versions of the brothers, Rockin’ Rob and Musical Mike. The Silvermans started playing their signature style with Bach To The
The Composer
The Crooner
Future. They’ve been going strong with a growing fan base and a respectable discography. They’ve also attracted the attention of some heavyweight national talent. Their album “The Rebirth of Fusion” includes collaborations with Eric Marienthal, David Benoit and Dweezil Zappa. Marienthal has played with the brothers on a number of occasions
including the Old Webster Jazz Festival in September. The noted master of the saxophone has now become not only a professional partner, but also a friend to the Silvermans. Thanks to technology, they can continue working with him and other musicians from their home base in St. Louis. Growing up in a musical household certainly paved the way for the Silvermans to carve out their own musical careers. “We were not classical musicians our whole lives, as our parents were, and gradually as we got older we started to appreciate it and put our own spin on it, and that was probably welcomed by our parents, too,” Mike said. Added Rob: “This may actually be a way of atoning for my failure as a classical musician, by being able to do it my way.”
The Bassist
H
e bears more than a slight resemblance to Cardinals third baseman Matt Carpenter. University City resident Ben Wheeler doesn’t play baseball. He plays the bass. Specifically, it’s an old-school upright double bass, the largest—and lowest-
Mike and Rob Silverman at a November concert.
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Ben Wheeler performs on double-bass at the Dark Room. pitched—string instrument. It’s basically a violin on steroids, weighing in at anywhere from 25 to 50 pounds. Wheeler, 37, is a freelancer, a bassist for hire. He’s also one of the best in the business, making him a sought-after player in the St. Louis area. “I’m totally freelance so I wait for the phone to ring, and I play jazz gigs around town,” he said. “The most ‘Jewish gig’ I played was at Jazz At The Bistro a couple of months ago. I got together 32
December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
an all-Jewish combo for that. “I’ve been able to carve out a niche, and I play with a lot of different groups, and get requested to play a lot, probably because they always need a bass player and there aren’t that many professional musicians who specialize in the stand-up bass.” There may be something in the Wheeler genes that made the bass a logical choice. Ben Wheeler’s father played bass and his brother does, too. “When I was in the sixth grade and joined the band, the teacher told me to pick out an instrument. I started with the violin, but I was tall, and since we were a bass family, it was like ‘you’re going to play bass,’” he said, laughing. His expertise was aided by one of the better music education programs, in the Parkway School District. In high school, he played electric bass and was a fan of rock. He fondly remembers attending the Guns N’ Roses concert on July 2, 1991 that ended badly—the socalled “Riverport Riot”—when lead singer Axl Rose took umbrage at a fan taking pictures. Rose slammed down his microphone and the show abruptly ended, infuriating the audience. Wheeler took a left turn from alt rock and studied classical bass at Truman State University. He played in a St. Louis retro-swing group known as “Swing Cat Swing” in the late 90s. Later, he completed his education in jazz at Webster University. Wheeler’s first paying gig was with a group known as Doc Butts and the Original Knights of Swing. “It was a big band, super old jazz from the 20s and 30s,” he said. Fast-forward to 2015: Wheeler is a regular suburban husband and father of two, taking out the trash like any other guy. His workplace just happens to be on stage. He’s played with some of the top players, including piano virtuoso Ptah Williams and the Jeff Lash Trio. Currently, Wheeler plucks his bass every Wednesday at 9 p.m. at The Darkroom (615 N. Grand Blvd.) where he plays with the Kasimu Taylor Trio. In addition, Wheeler is passing his knowledge on to aspiring musicians. His teaching experience started with a teaching assistantship at Southern Illinois University. He went on to teach at St. Louis Community College, Washington University, and Jefferson College. Currently, Wheeler is an adjunct professor of jazz and music history at Webster University.
The Harmonica Player
A
ny number of legendary musicians helped make the harmonica cool: Bob Dylan. Jimmy Reed. “Fingers” Taylor. Little Walter. Junior Wells. Add to that list a skinny kid from U. City: Sandy Weltman. “I grew up playing the banjo, the only Jewish banjo player on my block,” Weltman said, laughing. “ Then, one night, I was listening to the radio, jamming along and I heard a harmonica solo. It caught my attention, because I’d never heard anything like it.” That experience was transformative for the 20-year-old Weltman. He sought out Howard “Flecktone” Levy (coincidentally, also a Jewish harmonica player) and followed Levy to West Virginia where he was teaching a workshop. “I was captured by his musicianship and what he brought to the instrument, which was something nobody else had done,” Weltman said. “I got together with him. Howard was doing stuff on the harmonica that nobody had done before. He actually found some notes that weren’t inherently on the instrument.” Weltman alternated between the banjo and harmonica, and right out of high school, he became a professional musician, playing bluegrass on the four- and five-string banjo on Mississippi riverboats. He dabbled on the bass, too, with a country-western band. But the harmonica captivated him. That was due in part to his mentor Levy, who was experimenting with Middle Eastern music. “I was in my 30s and I put my own band together, with a lot of my banjo original music,” Weltman said. “The group—called the Sandroids—did a lot of really cool stuff, a lot of eclectic music.” That includes a CD of Klezmer music Weltman released in 2003. “The Klezmer Nuthouse” offers his interpretation of Jewish soul music, but replacing the traditional Klezmer clarinet is, naturally, the harmonica. Like many professional musicians, Weltman has mastered a variety of
instruments. Partly due to age and the physical toll banjo takes on the finger muscles, the 59-year-old recently gravitated to a new passion: the baritone ukulele. Weltman still performs before live audiences, but now, he is primarily a teacher, both online at sandyweltmanmusic.com and in person. “I work through the Sheldon Concert Hall, and we do a show called ‘Folk Music in the Melting Pot.’ I also work
for Springboard to Learning, which was originally called Young Audiences. I do harmonica residencies and 45-minute shows on the blues and music of the Mideast.”
The Crooner
A
musician often adopts a style or genre that originated at an early age. For Alan Oxenhandler — who goes by Alan Ox — it may have been a foregone conclusion that he’d be a
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Alan Ox sings at the Sheldon in October (above) and plays the drums during a September performance. Photos: Bill Motchan crooner. “My father used to croon all the time,” Ox said. “He’d walk in the door and he’d be singing.” More often than not, the elder Oxenhandler would croon the tunes of Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby. Fortunately, Ox has the pipes to pull off a creditable Old Blue Eyes. He’s also a versatile performer, accompanying himself on the piano. And, at the tender young age of 64, he’s a nimble tapdancer, too. It began with Ox’s father’s crooning and the LPs he brought home from a pawn shop, along with a drum set. Music ran in the family—Alan’s brother Harry played the congas. “I learned drums from my godfather and uncle, Gerry Sandweiss,” Ox said. “He was a drummer and a drum teacher and he used to watch Gene Krupa play. “My brother Harry was into Latin music and my father had a bunch of records sitting around the house— everything came from the pawn shop—from classical to Dixieland to 34
December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Drummer Alan Ox, guitarist Vince Martin and keyboardist (in background) Curt Landes make up the trio Landes, Martin, and Ox. jazz. So I got to listen to all kinds of stuff as a kid. And there was that drum kit I got to bring home, which was either the smartest thing I ever did or the dumbest thing my parents ever did.” Ox’s first gig, in the mid-60s, was playing drums for a fraternity party. He made a whopping $5 (the equiva-
lent of $38 today). He doesn’t remember how he spent the money but he remembers the thrill of performing for a live audience and that hasn’t changed. “I’ve had a lot of small victories in music,” he said. “Some of the most satisfying stuff I’ve ever done is playing for places like the Covenant House.
When you play for these people it really brightens their day.” Ox also performs regularly with the trio Landes, Martin and Ox. The group is comfortable with any genre, pivoting from rock to jazz to a bit of country and western, like Curt Landes’ hummable “I’ve No One To Cheat On Anymore.” Ox has rhythm and a drummer’s ear for percussion and beats. He’s also a master of voices, displayed ably by his recent “Songs of Great American Crooners” show at the Sheldon Concert Hall. Earlier this fall, he was putting the finishing touches on the crooner work, an homage to the greats like Perry Como and Bing Crosby. The show offered a bit of opera with a piece from Guiseppe Verdi’s “Rigoletto.” And just to keep it light, he tossed in a little of the Bee Gees. Practice is a mundane but a necessary part of the days leading up to a performance. “If I have a gig coming up where I’m playing piano, I’ll have to spend an hour or two a day just to get in shape. It’s the same thing for drums. I just started taking tap-dance lessons at the J when I was 53. I was the only guy in the class. When you start tap dance at 53 it’s not the same as starting at 8. I’ve got to practice every day now because I’m going to do some steps in the show. It’s physically demanding, but it’s a natural exercise.” A few weeks later, at the Sheldon, Ox’s practice paid off—he was pitchperfect in his rendering of the classic crooners of yesteryear and the crowd loved every minute of it. Even his tap skills were on display. On stage, Ox is completely at ease and the audience relates to it, clapping, singing along, laughing. The houselights dim and the show is over, but the work doesn’t end. Ox spends his non-performing days practicing, videotaping himself, fine-tuning his act. “And just trying to get gigs,” he said. “There’s always a gig waiting for you, you just have to get out and hit the pavement.”
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Ox has been around the block and performed with many other local artists. They’ve all crossed paths at one time or another. Ox’s musical roots go even deeper—his mother’s best friend was the grandmother of Ben Wheeler, the bass player profiled in this article.
The Composer
O
ne of St. Louis’ top composers and professors of jazz theory started out singing “Swanee” and “Toot Toot Tootsie” along to Al Jolson records in his parents U. City living room. “I was kind of a weird little kid,” Kim Portnoy said with a laugh. That kid, now 61, went on to become a respected authority in jazz composition and orchestration, though equally at home in classical music. Portnoy is an associate professor of music at Webster University where he directs the music composition program. Portnoy also regularly performs as a member of the Webster Faculty Jazz Ensemble. He also plays keyboard with his own trio and big band. Leading musicians have performed his compositions and arrangements. They include The St. Louis Children’s Choir, the St. Louis Low Brass Collective (including the trombone section of the St. Louis Symphony), The Phoenix Brass of the USAF Band of Mid-America, the Hanser/ McClellan Guitar Duo, the Euclid String Quartet, jazz vocalist Erin Bode, and David Halen, concertmaster of the St. Louis Symphony. This distinguished body of work all began when Portnoy’s mother brought home records from the U. City Library. “They were mostly musicals, so I’d listen to Rodgers and Hammerstein, Lerner and Lowe, Leonard Bernstein,” he said. “I really glommed on to it.” Portnoy was wowed by a biographical film of George Gershwin. His aunt gave him a recording of Oscar Levant playing “An American in Paris,” “Concerto In F,” and his favorite at the time, “Rhapsody In Blue.” The records were well worn from daily after-school
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December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Kim Portnoy performs on keyboard in September. Portnoy is a composer and jazz theory professor at Webster University. Photo: Bill Motchan listening sessions. “I remember hearing ‘Rhapsody In Blue’ and what an affect it had on me. And it started me to write music, too,” he said. Each summer, Portnoy’s parents took him to The Muny where he absorbed show tunes, and his mother was active in the City of Hope, which put on musicals like “South Pacific,” “The Pajama Game,” and “Oklahoma.” By high school (at Parkway Central), he knew he wanted to be a musician. That’s also when he wrote a rhapsody for piano and orchestra, which was performed by the Parkway Orchestra. Composing music is a unique skill. For Portnoy the process starts by coming up with a theme or concept. “I always have the urge to write,” he said. “I always have ideas or concepts kicking around. The process is just to sit down and start. I might have a little snippet of an idea that acts as inspiration, but then it’s a matter of figuring out where can I go with this idea and
what can I do with it. “A lot of composing is just slogging through the process and trying to make the piece work. That could be to accomplish what one of my teachers at Washington University, Roland Jordan, used to say—his biggest accolade was ‘oh that works!’ so that’s what I try to do and make things work.” As a teacher, Portnoy tries to give his own students some structure. “I see my role as giving them some craft so whatever they decide to pursue they have some technique they can use,” he said. “As an academic, I think that’s my role.” Portnoy’s first paying gig, somewhat faded in his memory, was most likely a New Year’s Eve job, perhaps a high school dance. The compensation: roughly $15. He does a little better as an academic, but it’s clear he considers music and composing a calling, not just a job. “It’s a great gig, it beats working,” he said.
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COMMENTARY
While planning my son’s bar mitzvah, I decided to start planning my own By Stacey Steinhart | Kveller via JTA
I
didn’t grow up in a very religious home. That said, my parents gave me the option to attend Hebrew school and have a bat mitzvah. Obviously, as a kid, my friends were shocked that I had a choice and told me not to do it. I opted out. It wasn’t until I became an adult that my spirituality kicked in. My faith was truly tested when my oldest son was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, a form of highfunctioning autism. He has sensory issues along with a high level of anxiety. His meltdowns tore me to pieces. While he cried, I cried. While he raged, I tried to stay as calm as possible … then I cried. I cried for him and his struggles, I cried for the people he hurt or offended, I cried for my family. I cried because on the surface, he is the epitome of a kind, sweet, typical kid and you can’t see the volcanic infernos bubbling up inside him. Friends, family and strangers would constantly tell me there was nothing wrong with him, he’s fine. Yeah, he’s fine until he’s not fine. I still cry. He is 12 now, about to turn 13 — a pivotal moment in the life of Jewish children as they start to get ready for their bar or bat mitzvah. My son has attended several bar and bat mitzvahs over the past couple of years, and we have discussed them at length. Talking about things with him and front-loading him helps him cope with his anxiety. He has a difficult time with the crowds (party
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December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
guests) and the loud music of the DJ. Typically, his choice is to wait outside the party area until our family is ready to leave. On one particular occasion, he was invited to a classmate’s party. I was to drop him off and pick him up later. For several reasons he had a complete meltdown and insisted on Stacey Steinhart has a degree in design and a degree in journalism.
leaving. We thanked the hosts and apologized for our abrupt departure. Fortunately the hostess was more than empathetic, having a child with similar issues. It was while we were driving home together that we had a most special moment. After he calmed down, I told him that he was going to have to deal with a similar situation when he has his bar mitzvah. He promptly told me he wasn’t going to have one. I gave him the option of having a small ceremony and luncheon in New York with just the immediate family (our family is all on the East Coast, while we live in California) or here at our synagogue. He was still reluctant, although he did like the idea of just the grandparents and
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reluctant, although he did like the idea of just the grandparents and immediate family there. His fear of getting up in front of all those people would send him into a downward spiral. I thought for a moment and realized that we have been on this journey together as a team since he was just a baby. I am his mother, his advocate and his coach. We are teammates. We should do this together. So I proposed to him that I would do this with him. He loved the idea. Of course I don’t want to take away from his special day. It is still about him. But the idea of having someone there with him puts
Kveller is a thriving community of women and parents who convene online to share, celebrate and commiserate their experiences of raising kids through a Jewish lens. Visit Kveller.com.
his mind at ease — somewhat anyway. As for me, I have always felt that I missed out on something big not having a bat mitzvah as a girl — I never became a part of the world that my
March. We have set the wheels in motion. I have been taking Hebrew lessons. We are both preparing to learn our Torah portions, and we practice together. I have to say he is
I have always felt that I missed out on something big not having a bat mitzvah as a girl — I never became a part of the world that my friends all know, a special club. friends all know, a special club. I wish I had learned Hebrew as a child. I would have loved to have understood the whats and the whys of the traditions in synagogue. I’m glad I’m getting my chance now. Our b’nai mitzvah is scheduled for
definitely doing a better job than I am. We have embarked on this journey together. It has brought us closer, and even though I am doing this for him, I can’t help but feel the blessings that he has given me. He has taught me so much; he has no idea.
Share your simchas with the community Celebrate your family’s cherished moments with an announcement on the Light’s simchas page
For more information call 314–743–3660 or visit www.stljewishlight.com/simchas 40
December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
ABOVE: Items from Lenny Frankel’s bag of Judaica items, which he uses as a volunteer educator through Interfaith Partnership, including a shofar (left). Photos: Kristi Foster
JUDAICA, continued from 16 Jewish home.” In fact, Julie Frankel, Lenny’s wife of 47 years and a semiretired guidance counselor and substitute teacher in the Ferguson-Florissant School District, has deep roots in Israel, where the Frankels purchased many of the items. Julie’s mother, whose maiden name was Abbo, belonged to one of the oldest families in Israel. Prosperous merchants, the Abbos departed their native French Algeria to settle in what was then the British Mandate of Palestine, several generations before Israeli statehood in 1948. While Julie was born in Virginia, Julie’s older sister was born in preIsrael Palestine. In Safed, Israel, where many of the Abbo relatives settled and remain, generations of them rabbis, officials named a street after the family. In further recognition of the family’s philanthropy, officials likewise
designated the Abbo family home in Safed the place where Lag b’Omer, a festival of joy, begins. “We have visited during Lag b’Omer,” Frankel says. No bravado here. Just a statement about family heritage. Julie is not surprised that her husband focuses on educating others about Judaism. She encourages him belonging to and helping lead various
Jewish organizations, attending services almost every Saturday at Congregation B’nai Amoona and forming part the synagogue’s morning minyan on Sundays. “It’s the way he was raised,” she says. “He’s always done it.” And should his Trader Joe’s bag finally rip open? Don’t despair. A brown paper Schnucks bag stands ready to accept Frankel’s treasures. OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
December 2015
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SERIES ABOVE: Margi Lenga Kahn twists off and forms each individual knish from the long roll of the filled dough. Photos: Mike Sherwin
KNISHES, continued from 12 easily be put out with a swig of Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry Soda.” Sokol remembers ordering knishes whenever the family went out for dinner. When I asked him whether his mother ever made them at home, he laughed. “She could burn a pot of water,” he said. Dr. Lenny Weinstock, of Clayton, grew up in suburban Long Island, New York. “I lived to have enough money to buy a knish,” said Weinstock, who would save up his allowance, hop on his bicycle and ride three miles to the nearest deli in Searingtown, located on Long Island’s North Shore. “The knishes were rectangular and huge,” he said. “They were stuffed with a Jewish version of the besttasting mashed potatoes. The crust was crisp enough so that you could hold it in your hands, but soft enough so that when you bit into it, it didn’t fall apart. I dipped my knishes in that yellow grainy deli mustard they gave you, and washed it down with a bottle of Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray. Nothing was better than that.” Though Weinstock, who belongs to Temple Israel, is on record as claiming that his grandmother and mother made the best matzah ball soup at home, he told me that knishes were something they always bought. I, too, have wonderful memories of eating warmfrom-the-deli knishes but had never thought about trying to make them until now. Here’s the recipe I used, which I adapted from the one Spetner Doughty shared with me. While I admit that they do take some time to make, you’ll be delighted with the result. Margi Lenga Kahn is the mother of five and grandmother of five. A cooking instructor at the Kitchen Conservatory, she is working on a project to preserve the stories and recipes of heritage cooks. She welcomes your comments and suggestions at margikahn@gmail.com.
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December 2015 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Potato Knishes INGREDIENTS Dough 4½ to 4¾ cups all-purpose flour 2 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. salt 2 eggs 1 cup canola oil, plus more for brushing on dough while rolling it out 2 tsp. white vinegar 1 c. warm water
Filling ¼ cup canola oil or schmaltz 2 lbs. yellow onions, peeled and diced 5 lbs. russet potatoes, peeled and quartered 1½ tsp. salt ½ tsp. black pepper 1 tsp. garlic powder 1-2 tbsp. additional schmaltz or butter (optional) DIRECTIONS Mix together 4 1 3 cups of the flour, baking powder and salt in the bowl of a mixer fitted with the dough hook. In a small bowl, whisk together eggs, oil, vinegar and warm water; add to the dry ingredients. Set mixer on medium and process for 8-10 minutes, sprinkling dough with additional handfuls of flour until it just clears the sides of the bowl (I used just over 4½ cups). Transfer dough to a lightly floured counter and knead for 30 seconds. Cut dough in half and form each one into a ball. Place onto a lightly floured counter and cover lightly with plastic wrap for at least one hour and up to two. (Alternatively, the dough can be refrigerated overnight in two plastic storage bags. Let dough come to room temperature before rolling it out.) While dough is relaxing, prepare the filling. Heat oil in a heavy skillet over medium-low
What do
YOU need?
heat. Add onions and sauté until tender and caramelized, stirring every few minutes for 30-40 minutes. You don’t want the onions to get brown and crispy. You want them to be soft and caramel in color. While the onions are cooking, place the potatoes in a pot of water and bring to a boil. Reduce heat until it’s just enough to maintain a simmer and cook until the potatoes are forktender. Drain well and mash well (or press through a ricer). Add the browned onions, salt, pepper and garlic powder, and mix well. Taste and adjust seasonings as needed, adding butter if desired. Let cool. When the dough has relaxed and the filling has cooled, heat oven to 375 degrees and line one or two baking sheets with parchment paper. Clean and dry a table or long countertop. Roll one dough ball out into as thin a rectangle as possible, about 12 inches by 30 inches. (For larger knishes, roll into a larger rectangle. Don’t worry if your dough has small holes. These will be covered once the dough has been completely rolled around the filling.) If the dough becomes too difficult to roll, simply cover it, as is, with plastic wrap and let it rest for 10 minutes; then continue rolling. Arrange half the potato filling in a 2-inch-long strip, 1 inch down from the long edge of dough furthest away from you. Pull the 1-inch edge of dough over the filling and brush a light 2-inch strip of oil along the dough just in front of filling. Roll dough over oiled dough, one
revolution. Continue brushing with oil and rolling rope until you are one to two inches from the long edge closest to you. Do not oil bottom edge of dough; simply lift filled rope over onto final edge of dough and pinch edges together to seal along the full length of the rope. Turn dough seam-side-down on counter. Pinch the rope where you’d like to cut the first knish, slightly stretching the dough and pinching once again. Twist it around a few times, creating a little twist of dough between the knish you’re shaping and the main rope; then pinch off the knish with your fingers, or use a sharp knife to cut it away. Repeat until all the knishes have been formed. If any of the pinched-off edges open, gently draw the dough over the top and pinch the ends together to reseal. To finish the final shaping, gently press the top twist of dough into the center of the knish and flatten each one into a plump disc. Repeat until all knishes have been shaped. Place knishes on parchment-lined baking sheets and bake until lightly browned, 40-50 minutes, depending on size of knishes. To freeze unbaked knishes, cover pan of knishes with plastic wrap and place in freezer. Once frozen, transfer knishes to freezer bags and store for up to a month. To bake, arrange frozen knishes on parchment-lined baking sheets and bake for 45-55 minutes, or until lightly browned. Makes 40-60 knishes, depending on their size.
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