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INSIDE
GENERATIONS
| NextGen Mah-Jongg | Tracing Your Family’s Past | Holy Boundaries | Heritage Recipes
OY! is the quarterly magazine of the St. Louis Jewish Light | April, 2014
OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
April 2014
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from the editor Founded 1963 The Newspaper of the Jewish Community of Greater St. Louis 314-743-3600 • Fax: 314-743-3690 E-mail: msherwin@thejewishlight.com Address for payments: P.O. Box 955519 St. Louis, Mo. 63195-5519 General Correspondence: 6 Millstone Campus Drive, Suite 3010 St. Louis, Mo. 63146 PROFESSIONAL STAFF EXECUTIVE Larry Levin Publisher/CEO Robert A. Cohn Editor-in-Chief Emeritus EDITORIAL Ellen Futterman Mike Sherwin Elise Krug Cheryl Barack Gouger BUSINESS Kelly Richter Eedie Cuminale Debra Gershenson Helen Neuman SALES Julie Schack Elaine Wernick Shane Blatt Beth Feldman Julie Spizman
Editor Managing Editor Editorial Assistant Editorial Assistant Business Director Business Assistant Admin. Assistant Admin. Assistant
Director of Sales & Events Account Executive Account Executive Events Coordinator Account Executive
PRODUCTION & TECHNOLOGY Director of Operations Tom Wombacher Graphic Designer Myriam Mistrih Graphic Designer Kathy Huster BOARD OF TRUSTEES OFFICERS Gary Kodner, President; Diane Gallant, Vice President; Jeff Golden, Vice President; Jane Tzinberg Rubin, Vice President; Steve Gallant, Treasurer; Sheri Sherman, Secretary; Jenny Wolkowitz, Immediate Past President COMMITTEE CHAIRS Editorial: Ben Lipman; Business: Jeff Golden; Development: Diane Gallant SUBCOMMITTEE CHAIRS Teen Page: Peggy Kaplan., Caroline Goldenberg TRUSTEES Michael Corson; Caroline Goldenberg, Harvey Hieken; Diana Iskiwitch; Peggy Kaplan; Ben Lipman; Jill Mogil; Ed Musen; Gary Ratkin; Daniel Rubenstein; Barbara Rubin; Jennifer Schmitz; Laura Silver; David Singer; Vicki Singer; Rabbi Lane Steinger; Toby Warticovschi; Richard Weiss ADVISORY COMMITTEE Terry Bloomberg, Nanci Bobrow, Ph.D., Lewis Chartock, Ava Ehrlich, Charles C. Eisenkramer, Richard Flom, Dodie Frey, John Greenberg, Yusef Hakimian, Philip A. Isserman, Gianna Jacobson, Linda Kraus, Sanford Lebman, Michael Litwack, Dr. Ken Ludmerer, Lynn Lyss, Rabbi Mordecai Miller, Donald Mitchell, Milton Movitz, Michael N. Newmark, Adinah Raskas, Marvin J. Schneider, Irving Shepard, Richard W. Stein, Barbara Langsam Shuman, Sanford Weiss, Phyllis Woolen Markus, Vivian W. Zwick. Founder Morris Pearlmutter (1913-1993)
The St. Louis Jewish Light does not assume responsibility for the quality or kashrut of any product or service advertised in its pages, nor is the Jewish Light responsible for the content of its inserted supplements. 4
April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
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’m not a huge fan of Westerns, but my dad enjoyed the occasional John Wayne film, so as a little girl I would watch with him. One in particular, “The Searchers,” had a bit character named Jeremiah Futterman. “That, there, Jeremiah Futterman, is ‘awr kinfolk,” my dad told me, mimicking the Duke’s deliberate way of enunciating every word. Of course my dad was joking around. But at the time I really thought we had a relative named Jeremiah Futterman who was in a movie with John Wayne. And I proceeded to tell this little tidbit to anyone who would listen. Years later, I interviewed my “faux” brother Dan Futterman, who is an actor and a writer. You may Ellen remember him from the TV show Futterman “Judging Amy” (he played the lead character’s [Amy Brenneman] brother in the show). He also was nominated for an Academy Award for adapted screenplay for the film “Capote,” which won the late Philip Seymour Hoffman an Oscar. Although Dan is not my brother, he could be a cousin or some distant relative; after all, Futterman isn’t all that common a surname. As of yet, I haven’t bothered to find out, but after reading the story about Jewish genealogy in this issue of OY! Generations, I have a strong desire to investigate my family tree and see what famous Futtermans (and Bernsteins/Katzes, my mother’s side of the family) I might uncover. Speaking of uncovering information, who knew mah-jongg was being played by anyone other than bubbe? As the cover of Generations suggests, youngsters, families and thirty-somethings are among the latest fans of the age-old game. Another story that has a timeless quality about it is the one on the eruv, which for the past 20 years has served the Orthodox Jewish community in mid-St. Louis County. In addition to these stories, our regular magazine departments feature a story about heritage recipes and the people who preserve them; a burgeoning flower farm on the outskirts of St. Louis run by a Jewish couple and a local woman whose Israeli jewelry seems to have special healing power. When we began OY! Generations magazine three years ago our hope was to showcase stories that connect generations of families and friends in the St. Louis Jewish community and beyond. Or as John Wayne would say: “Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday.”
contents The power of heritage cooking page 6 Cultivated Couple St. Louis couple among Jews leaving behind suits and ties, working the earth page 14 Power of prayer found in simple Israeli jewelry Olivette woman is sought out by those seeking spiritual help facing life’s trials page 22 Mah-jongg Not (only) your grandmother’s game page 24 Tracing Family History page 30 Setting (spiritual) boundaries After two decades, core group continues to quietly monitor, maintain the St. Louis Community Eruv page 38 ON THE COVER: The Sentnor family of Creve Coeur — Bryn, 13; parents Jamie and Dave, and Noah, 10 — enjoys playing mahjongg on the set that belonged to the kids’ great-great grandmother. Photo: Lisa Mandel
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Heart Health Specialists Welcomes Keith Mankowitz, MD, FACC Keith Mankowitz, MD joins Craig Reiss, MD in the Heart Health Specialists practice. Dr. Mankowitz brings extensive heart care experience to St. Luke’s Hospital and has practiced in St. Louis since 1996. He is board-certified in cardiology and internal medicine. Dr. Mankowitz received his medical degree from University of the Witwatersrand, Johannesburg, South Africa and completed his residency and fellowship at Washington University School of Medicine.
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Dr. Mankowitz is the director of the Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy Center at St. Luke’s Hospital. He has a special interest in screening athletes for suspected cardiovascular disorders specifically to prevent sudden death in those ages 18 and above. He has been recognized as one of the “Best Doctors” in St. Louis from 2006 to 2013 and is a member of the American College of Cardiology. He is also a published author for various research publications on topics related to heart disease. Dr. Mankowitz is accepting new cardiology patients.
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The power of heritage cooking “Food is not just what we put in our mouths to fill up; it is culture and identity.” – Jonathan Safran Foer
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ABOVE: Rudy Oppenheim’s Chopped Herring Salad — a dish he learned from his mother, and one his children also make today (recipe on page 44). Photo: Lisa Mandel
ood is at the heart of many of our most vivid memories. It brings to mind special memories that link our families to earlier generations and to our cultural heritage. We recall the stories told around the family dinner table. Our memory of a Shabbat meal, a Rosh Hashanah meal, a seder meal or even an ordinary weeknight meal can last a lifetime. We recall the smells, the tastes and even the plates BY MARGI LENGA KAHN and silverware used for SPECIAL TO THE LIGHT those meals. These are the childhood memories that we share with our own children. These are the memories that we create in our own homes and that we hope our children will share with theirs. These are the memories that become our traditions, and at their core is the food. In our fast-paced, computer-driven society, we have become so mired in the minutiae of everyday life that we often fail to recognize the importance of preserving the family recipes that fueled those powerful memories. Too often, we realize the need to preserve these recipes only after they have been lost. So many of those recipes, never written down, disappear with the generation that knew them. Fortunately, there is increased inter-
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ABOVE: Sofia Kent at her home in the Creve Coeur area. One of Kent’s favorite meals as a child was sweet and sour tongue (See recipe on page 10). Photo: Mike Sherwin
est by many families and avid cooks to collect, preserve, and in some cases, publish these precious heritage recipes in books. One such effort has resulted in a stunning new collection entitled, “Monday Morning Cooking Club” (Harper Collins, 2013). That book is the work of six Jewish women in Sydney, Australia, who have spent the past five years meeting every Monday morning to prepare food from heritage recipes passed down to them and other members of the Sydney Jewish community. The combination of the stories that precede each recipe and the recipes themselves resonated with me and became a powerful reminder to preserve my own family’s recipes. Inspired by the women in that book, I spoke with three cooks in our local community who, to varying degrees, are preserving some of their own family’s beloved recipes.
Sofia Kent Sofia Kent was born in Poland and grew up in Germany. She came to the United States in 1967. She and her husband Jerry have four grown children and live in the Creve Coeur
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area. Kent remembers watching her mother cook. Her mother took pride in the food she served, and everything she prepared had ta’am, i.e., was perfectly seasoned and had character. Kent recalled going with her mother to the market to buy a live fish. They would take the fish home and let it swim around in their bathtub until it was time to make gefilte fish. When they came to the United States, her mother simplified that elaborate process. She would buy jars of cooked gefilte fish at the supermarket, empty them into a large pot with water, onions, carrots, almonds, sugar, and salt and pepper, and re-cook them so that the result tasted like her own. Kent explained, “I make my gefilte fish just the way I remember my mother making it. Now my daughter makes it the same way for her family. It’s always been a part of my life, and my family’s life, and I want to be sure it remains a part of my kids’ lives and the lives of my grandchildren.” One of Kent’s favorite meals as a young child in Germany was sweet and sour tongue. “When I was 5,” she said, “I had the chickenpox and was put on bed rest with a strict diet
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ABOVE: Sofia Kent’s mother, Dora Liwer. RIGHT: Sofia’s Sweet and Sour Beef Tongue.
of tea and zwieback. Our kitchen was close to the bedroom and I could smell the aromas. I knew my mother was cooking tongue, and also knew that I would not be allowed to eat it in my present state. I was terribly disappointed and cried to no end. My mother was adamant and would not relent. Days later, she prepared that recipe again, and I remember so well how wonderful it tasted.” Though she still enjoys eating it, Kent doesn’t cook sweet and sour beef tongue as often as she would like. That’s because everyone in her family is bothered by the texture.
Elaine Spielberg Elaine Spielberg was born in Des Moines, Iowa, which is where her grandparents immigrated from Russia and Lithuania back in the early 1900s. Spielberg met her husband Skip at the University of Oklahoma. They settled in St. Louis and have two sons and four grandsons. “I have such lovely childhood memories of celebrating the Sabbath and other Jewish holidays at my grandparents’ house,” said Spielberg. “Their home in every way spoke to Jewish life and tradition. My grandfather always wore his yarmulke at home with his
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April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Sofia Kent’s Sweet and Sour Beef Tongue INGREDIENTS
Tongue: 1 beef tongue, 2-3 lbs 1 tbsp. white vinegar 6 whole cloves 6 peppercorns 1 tsp. salt 1 whole garlic clove, split in half Sweet and Sour Sauce: 2 cups liquid in which tongue has cooked 1 large onion, diced 1 tbsp. schmaltz or shortening 1 tbsp. flour 1/2 tsp. salt 1 cinnamon stick 4 whole cloves 1/4 cup chopped almonds 1/4 cup seedless raisins 1 teaspoon honey Juice of 1 lemon DIRECTIONS
Tongue: Carefully lower tongue into a large pot of boiling water. Bring water to a boil again and skim off the scum. Stir in vinegar and seasonings and reduce heat to a simmer.
Cook tongue for 3-4 hours, or until a fork easily penetrates the center. Remove pot from heat and let tongue cool down in the liquid. When cool enough to handle, remove skin and discard. Let tongue remain in the liquid while making sauce. Sweet and Sour Sauce: Heat schmaltz in a large heavy skillet over medium heat; add onion and sauté until golden. Sprinkle onions with flour and slowly add warm tongue liquid, whisking constantly. Continue to cook and whisk over medium heat until mixture is smooth and slightly thickened. Stir in remaining ingredients. Simmer mixture over low heat, stirring, for 10 minutes. To assemble: Remove tongue from liquid and slice; add to sweet and sour sauce. Simmer over low heat until tongue is completely heated. Remove cinnamon stick from pot. Transfer meat to a platter and top with sauce.
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siddur close by. And my grandmother turned out an abundance of Jewish delicacies for her large family. That’s how I remember them.” As she explains, “Nothing says it’s Rosh Hashanah more than walking into a Jewish home and smelling fresh challah baking and chicken soup warming on the stove. It fills the senses and lifts the spirit. It just doesn’t get any better.” Spielberg has a package of her grandmother’s recipes, all handwritten in Yiddish, which she would eventually like to have translated. She found her Bubbe Bassman’s recipe for Hasenblusen among them. “Hasenblusen,” she explained, “is a German word that means rabbit blouse when spelled with an ending of e-n. When it ends in i-n, it means rabbit bubbles. I have such vivid memories of my bubbe in her kitchen making this melt-in-
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April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
your-mouth confection for the Jewish holidays. She was small in stature and always wore a flowery-patterned pinafore apron when she cooked.” Spielberg hopes that her sons and See RECIPES, continued on page 44
Elaine Spielberg in her kitchen, preparing her bubbe's recipe for Hasenblusen (above, see recipe on page 44). Photos: Lisa Mandel
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Washington University and Barnes-Jewish Heart & Vascular Center GENERAL CARDIOLOGY Anita Bhandiwad, MD David Brown, MD Andrew Kates, MD Scott Nordlicht, MD Michael Rich, MD Lynne Seacord, MD Alan Weiss, MD ELECTROPHYSIOLOGY Daniel Cooper, MD Jane Chen, MD Mitchell Faddis, MD, PhD Marye Gleva, MD Timothy Smith, MD HEART FAILURE Greg Ewald, MD Edward Geltman, MD Susan Joseph, MD Shane LaRue, MD HYPERTENSION Angela Brown, MD
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Cultivated Couple St. Louis couple among Jews leaving behind suits and ties, working the earth.
For the past four years, Jack Oglander and Vicki Lander (inset) have lived and worked on a 35-acre farm in Beaufort, Mo., which they call Flower Hill Farm. Photo: Lisa Mandel 14
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By Susan Fadem • Special to the Jewish Light
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ith apologies to nursery-rhyme favorite Old MacDonald and his mooing, oinking menagerie, many small farms today are a far quack from what they used to be. And some Jews, stereotypically associated with business-suited and seemingly more cerebral pursuits, are playing a role. Take St. Louisans Jack Oglander and Vicki Lander. He’s a retired company president and, at age 64, a woodworker, farm maintenance guy, beekeeper, digger of farm trenches and photographer of countryside sunsets. To that, add painstaking Internet researcher and something of
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a Talmudic ponderer, willing to explore, for however many days or months it takes, such issues as: On a farm, what do you do with a giant TV satellite dish, now replaced by a discreet, 100-mileradius antenna? Should the dish be turned into a planter? Yanked out and disposed of? But where? And what will be its effect on the environment? With a resumé lengthy enough to fill an “Old Farmer’s Almanac,” Oglander’s wife, Vicki Lander, 49, is an outdoorsy, serenity-seeking, stick-your-hands-inthe-dirt kind of woman. As a kid, she volunteered at a neighbor’s farm. Her wages were bags full of zucchini, which she whomped like baseball bats or pulverized into lumpy soup. Current pastimes for Lander, often all pursued during the same week, include farmer, yoga instructor, meditation proponent, teacher and lecturer on “slow” (as in “no pesticides, herbicides, fungicides or anything else that might cause harm”) flowers and foods. Oglander and Lander have been married for 11 years. This spring marks their fourth as owners and sole employees of a 35-acre swath in Beaufort, Mo. – population about 300 and pronounced BUE-ferd – that they call Flower Hill Farm. Located about an hour west of St. Louis, the property was named by Lander for its rolling fields and hills. The farm’s main product, at this point, is cut flowers, from zinnias to lilies, which Lander and Oglander truck to florists, farmers markets,
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ABOVE: A photo from August 2012 shows some of the farm's cut flower offerings. Photo: Jack Oglander. BELOW: A view of the fields last fall. Photo: Lisa Mandel
special-event planners and brides. Conveniently for the couple, their property came well-equipped. The purchase price included two greenhouses, two ponds, a rebuilt barn, the 1999 ranch house they occupy, and a 1920s Sears, Roebuck & Co. Catalogue house, its ready-to-assemble parts shipped by railroad boxcar and delivered by horse and buggy. It was the greenhouses that posed immediate problems. How to water? The previous owner had done so by hand. Lander and Oglander wanted something safe but more efficient. On the Internet, Oglander learned to install an automated drip system pioneered in Israel. Following the system’s aim of maximal water and minimal waste, he glued together
more than two miles of perforated piping. Some, Oglander hung above the greenhouse tables. The bulk, he sunk 18 inches deep into trenches he dug in Lander’s fields. The system works well, Lander brags. But should a mouse chew a hole, repairs by Oglander will be required. Regular upkeep is needed, too. Whether experimenting with mixed flower-and-vegetable beds or hammering and chiseling, to the point of exhaustion, to replace a whole hydrant just because its obstinate spigot won’t budge, farm work is never done, Oglander and Lander have learned. Given Oglander’s more recent prefarm endeavors, this lesson came as an even bigger surprise to him. For more than a quarter-century, he
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Senior Living Your Way Senior living is what you make of it, so make it the best it can be! At The Gatesworth, the opportunities for leading a fulfilling life are as interesting and unique as the Residents themselves. Our Residents find a variety of choices such as fitness classes, lectures, book clubs and outings to support their physical, mental and educational well-being. Call (314) 993-0111 today to see how The Gatesworth can customize a lifestyle to fit you. The Gatesworth is committed to equal housing opportunity and does not discriminate in housing and services because of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin.
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worked, eventually rising to president, at St. Louis’ Commercial Letter. The directmail and marketing firm was founded by his maternal grandfather, David Fleischer, in 1912. Oglander retired in his early 50s after putting his four children from a previous relationship, now ages 35 to 43, through college. He attempted to write a novel. But during that period, the health of his dad, Allen Oglander, and then his mom, Doris, worsened. “Although my dad and I had worked together, he was in one office. I was in another,” Oglander says. It was “really special” getting to spend time with both of them. Lander, meanwhile, had grown up planting seeds with her dad, Ed Lander, so that her mom, Marlene, could enjoy the bounty. Lander, in fact, has saved practically every seed packet from every flower and vegetable she ever planted. As if reciting poetry, she can also recite the horticultural composition of each of her childhood friends’ gardens. Moreover, years as a camper and counselor deepened her affection for the outdoors. A founder of Camp Ramot Amoona, a day camp still operating at Congregation B’nai Amoona, she spent six summers at Herzl Camp, a Zionist-
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Organic, sustainable and co-op movements cultivate a modern take on Torah teaching Jewish farmers have biblical roots and regulations. For six years, the Torah instructs, one can plow, plant, nurture, harvest and sell the output from the land of Israel. But for the seventh year, the land must lie fallow. Like the Jewish people themselves, told to rest on the Sabbath, or seventh day of the week, the land is to receive a respite. Fast-forward to 1900, when Baron Maurice de Hirsch, a Flower Hill Farm's barn (top) and greenhouse. utopia-seeking German-Jewish All photo this page: Lisa Mandel philanthropist, founded the 1970s and ’80s proved a watershed. Curious Jewish Agricultural Society in New York. After helping Eastern European Jews about alternative lifestyles that would not flee anti-Semitism, he lent them money to harm the environment, they explored pesticide-free organic farming and feed-thebuy American land, seeds and equipment. For further immersion into agriculture, community concepts such as food co-ops. about which many knew next to nothing, Among those Jewish organic farmers who immigrants and others received the society’s went on to big-time success were Ben Cohen Jewish Farmer, a Yiddish and English and Jerry Greenfield, Gary Hirshberg, and Drew and Myra Goodman. They founded, magazine. Sukkot and Shavuot, Jewish respectively, Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream, holidays celebrating the harvests, also Stonyfield Yogurt and Earthbound Farm. Today, in addition to memberships in such have biblical significance. Shavuot marks God’s giving the Torah at Mount groups as International Slow Food (“don’t rush to harvest by artificial means”), Slow Sinai, as well as the ripening of the grain. When Time magazine reported in 1938 Flowers (in-season and locally grown) and that America had 100,000 Jewish various organic agriculture associations, farmers, the concept to many Jews have started some of their own: Hazon, sounded more like the punch line to a an organization “dedicated to creating a joke than reality. Yet about 30 years healthier and more sustainable Jewish later, at least one New York dairy farmer community as a step towards healthier and made international headlines. Not far from more sustainable world for all”; the Jewish where Borscht Belt comics had entertained Farm School; and Jewish Farmers of America. Organic grower Vicki Lander heard recently Jews on summer vacations, Max Yasgur, the son of German-Jewish immigrants, leased about a panel on female Jewish farmers. one of his alfalfa fields for the Woodstock “Who would have thought?” she says. Music and Art Fair in 1969. — Susan Fadem For some young suburban Jews, the
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Everyone Has a Story... Have You Told Yours? In a world where so many forces pull loved ones apart, our family story brings us together. That’s where personal historian Kathy Evans of “Write for You” Life Stories comes in. Since 2001, Evans has been capturing and preserving memoirs in heirloom books and now also offers artful video memoirs by a gifted videographer. Through relaxed weekly interviews, she guides her clients through the process of recording the history of their own lives for their families. She includes information about ancestors and weaves in the popular culture of the
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rooted overnight camp in Wisconsin. Lander and Oglander first met at a party, then met again in 2001 at a Friday night service at Central Reform Congregation. That evening, Lander had paid her membership dues and joined the congregation. Oglander invited her to dinner the next Friday, after services. That evening they talked until 2 a.m., way past Lander’s usual 10:30 p.m. bedtime. The following Friday, she and Oglander had another post-services dinner. On the third Friday, they skipped services. The couple felt overwhelmed by similarities. For two summers while studying at Washington University, Oglander had worked at what is now Missouri Botanical Garden’s Shaw Nature Reserve in Gray Summit, Mo. As a project, he created a model organic garden. “It was instrumental in my development in terms of the things that made a difference,” he recalls. Zen meditation, for a time, was a staple in his life. Oglander left Washington University in 1970 in the wake of the Kent State University violence in which Ohio National Guardsmen killed four students and wounded nine others. “I couldn’t return to the classroom,” he says. Instead, he traveled to Europe and hitchhiked. He also camped up and
Oglander installs irrigation lines in a 2012 photo. Photo courtesy Flower Hill Farm
down the West Coast and into New Mexico and Colorado. Though he once participated in a pear-tree harvest, he was “more interested in the experiment of living communally.” Ten years later, he returned to St. Louis, worked at the Jewish Center for the Aged, earned a degree in linguistics and joined his family’s business. When he and Lander met, he was about to take a sabbatical from the office to go camping, visit friends and spend time with his sons, both recent college grads. Lander, who had worked with such mentors as Vivian Gellman of Ladue, the unofficial area queen of azaleas and zinnias, and organic farmer Paul
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April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Krautman of Bellews Creek Farm in Hillsboro, Mo., talked with Oglander about the importance of meaningful work at every stage in life. In the process of finding her own way, she had completed a degree in social work, attended massage school and trained in meditation, the bodymind connection and yoga. She also graduated from the St. Louis Master Gardener Program established by Missouri Botanical Garden in partnership with University of Missouri Extension. Vicki and Jack married in 2002. About that time, she was growing flow-
See FARM, continued on page 45
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7511 Olive Blvd, St Louis, MO 63130 (314) 721-5070 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
April 2014
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Cherished Judaica
Power of prayer found in simple Israeli jewelry Olivette woman is sought out by those seeking spiritual help facing life’s trials.
By Susan Fadem Special to the Jewish Light The other week, Joyce Kabak of Olivette prayed over three stents, a gallbladder and malignant kidney stones. The stents were to be surgically inserted. The gallbladder and stones were removed. But when Kabak receives a phone call, she doesn’t pry for details. She complies. In what’s turned into nearly a quarter-century tradition, its efficacy known in both the local Jewish and gentile communities, Kabak offers prayers. Callers, who may be relatives, friends, friends of friends and, occasionally, those whose connection to her is even more remote, ask whether she’d mind getting out her jewelry. Catholics, accustomed to rosaries as prayer counters, usually ask her to use “your beads.” And then Kabak prays, either wearing or holding a hammeredmetal necklace with pale purple stones and matching dangle earrings she purchased one rainy day in 1990 in Jerusalem. Her benediction, silent or spoken, is approximately: “Please watch over (appropriate name inserted here). Protect them. Give them strength.” If callers supply the time of a procedure – “My cousin is having a liver
Joyce Kabak • Photo: Lisa Mandel
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April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
See JUDAICA, continued on p. 45
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Lory Cooper, age 26 Young Professionals Division board member Grandaughter of Holocaust survivors Simon (z”l) and Bobbie Kohn, founders of Kohn’s Kosher Market Gives to Federation to pay it forward
“Giving back is just part of my family’s story.” Jewish Federation of St. Louis was there for Lory's grandparents when they arrived at Union Station in 1949 with no money and no connections. Federation gave vital resources needed for them to build a meaningful Jewish life—and St. Louis' longest-standing Kosher deli. Today, Lory helps build community in programs like YPD that engage and involve young, talented Jews. Lory’s story is our story. Learn more. Get involved. Give today: JFedSTL.org/OurStory
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April 2014
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Mah-jongg not (only) your grandmother’s game
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April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
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By Ellen Futterman | Editor Nicole Hudson hates playing games, but she says there’s something about mah-jongg that’s irresistible. “I think it has to do with the camaraderie and the tradition of the game,” says Hudson, 40, who works as a media consultant and lives in Edwardsville. “Plus, it’s the Jewish thing. All my friends in college secretly joked that I was Jewish. So when I told them I started playing maahj, well, let’s just say that confirmed it for them.” Hudson is the only one of the Maahjettes, as they sometimes call themselves, who is not Jewish. The group of six St. OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
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TOP: The Maahjettes, as they sometimes call themselves, try to play maahj once a week. From left to right are Randi Papke, Gayle Lazaroff, Julie Lazaroff (facing front), Sarah Schwartzman-Palermo (with back to camera) and Karen Weberman. Missing from the picture is Nicole Hudson. ABOVE: A maahj hand, at left; at right, healthy snacks and whiskey, the Maahjettes’ drink of choice. 26
April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Louis-area friends, all of whom are in their 30s and 40s, get together weekly — or at least most weeks — to play mahjongg and drink whiskey. “I didn’t drink whiskey until I started playing maahj,” says Karen Weberman, 33, a tile-carrying member of the Maahjettes. “My mother and her girlfriends have been playing maahj for years, they’ve even taken vacations together. When she heard I started playing, she about fell off her chair.” While American mah-jongg has long conjured up images of Jewish matrons clacking tiles, kibbitzing and wagering
(modestly, of course!), interest in the game continues to grow among old and young alike. Some people maintain that after a slump in the 1970s and ’80s, mah-jongg is not only back in vogue, but also enjoying something of a renaissance. Countless websites dedicated to all things maahj sell everything from vintage game sets to tile-themed tsotchkes and offer games 24 hours a day. Though still mostly played in living rooms and at social clubs, tournaments abound, and there are even mah-jongg cruises. Project Mah Jongg, an exhibition created in 2010 by New York’s Jewish Heritage
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The Sentnor family of Creve Coeur — Bryn, 13; parents Jamie and Dave, and Noah, 10 — enjoys playing mah-jongg on the set that belonged to the kids’ great-great grandmother. Photo: Lisa Mandel
Museum — A Living Memorial to the Holocaust, travels to other cities. It shows how the game was adopted from its Chinese ancestors and embraced by American Jewish women in the 20th century. “The game is bigger than ever, crossing over cultures, race and ethnicities as well as generations,” says David Unger, a spokesman for the nonprofit National Mah-jongg League, created in 1937 and based in New York. His mother, Ruth Unger, 89, the grand dame of mah-jongg, is celebrating her 50th year as the league’s executive director. The group has almost 400,000 members; anyone who spends $8 on the annual mah-jongg card required for play automatically becomes a member of the league. Proceeds from the sale of the cards go to more than two-dozen charities, including several Jewish ones. “Whereas older Jewish women are still the majority, they are teaching 28
April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Some helpful mah-jongg websites: • National Mah Jongg League: nationalmahjonggleague.org • The American Mah-Jongg Association: amja.net • Official National Mah Jongg League Internet Game: nmjl.org • Mah Jongg History: mahjonged.com • Project Mah Jongg Exhibit: projectmahjongg.com
younger family and friends the game, and they all love it,” David Unger says. Bryn Sentnor, 13, first learned about mah-jongg as a third-grader at Saul Mirowitz Day School-Reform Jewish Academy (now Saul Mirowitz Jewish Community School). “The fifth-graders kind of showed us
how to play,” says Bryn, who recently celebrated her bat mitzvah at Central Reform Congregation. “Then my Grandma Ilene (her father’s mother) came to visit from Florida, and she really taught me and my brother and my mother and father how to play. She plays in leagues.” Soon after she learned how to play, Bryn was on vacation with her family in Colorado when a cousin came over and asked what she liked to do for fun. “Play mah-jongg,” Bryn said. “The next day,” recalls Bryn’s maternal grandmother, Joy Sterneck of Chesterfield, “the cousin brought the mah-jongg set that had belonged to Bryn’s great-great grandmother and gave it to her. She absolutely loved it, and the fact that it has such a strong familial connection.” Eager to join the family’s mah-jongg games, Sterneck and her late husband, David, signed up to take lessons at the Jewish Community Center. “We figured it would be a nice, inter-
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generational thing we could do with our kids and grandkids,” says Sterneck, adding that David was an especially good sport, given that he was the only man in the JCC class. Susan Kaplansky, director of adult services and programs at the JCC, said, “We never had a class that wasn’t filled. And we’re seeing many more younger participants. We often have classes with people in their 80s as well as their 30s.” Pam Lazaroff of Clayton taught daughters-in-law Julie and Gayle — two of the whiskey-drinking Maahjettes — to play. Now Pam is teaching the game to a third daughterin-law, who lives in Colorado. “My introduction was through Julie’s (late) mom, who was my good friend and had a regular game,” says Pam, explaining that back then, she didn’t have time to learn, or to play, because she worked full time as a registered dietitian. But about seven or eight years ago, she recalls looking at her friend Sheila Cohen “and almost simultaneously us saying to each other, ‘I’d like to learn how to play maahj.’ ” They took a few lessons, then recruited some friends and taught them how to play. The friends continue to play regularly, rotating households, and bank the night’s winnings to go out to dinner periodically.
Maajh variations Maajh comes in several versions, but each falls under one of two broad categories: American Mah Jongg and Chinese Mah Jongg. American Maajh differs from International Maajh in several ways: • It uses a card of Standard Hands, against which all games are played. These cards are changed annually. • It uses more tiles, notably the Joker. • The game is started with “Charleston,” or the passing of three unwanted tiles from one player to another. • It uses Jokers to complete quints and sextets in several combinations of hands. – National Mah Jongg League
“It’s always a wonderful time because we all enjoy one another so much,” says Cohen, of Olivette, a member of Congregation Shaare Emeth. The game also evokes a sense of nostalgia for her, memories of generations past and how, as a little girl, she loved to clean her mother’s ivory tile mah-jongg set. “I can’t picture myself playing bridge, because I don’t have that kind
of mathematical mind,” Cohen says. “Maahj is just stimulating enough challengewise, but it also allows us to have a good time because none of us takes it too seriously.” Cohen says the game is part strategy, part luck. “You can be an experienced player, but if you’re not dealt the tiles, there isn’t much you can do,” she says. Similar sentiments were echoed on a recent Monday night at Gayle Lazaroff’s home in University City. The six Maahjettes take turns rotating in and out of lively games (only four can play at a time). Shouts of “four crack,” “three bam” and “seven dot” pierce the din. During downtime, whiskey is poured and snacks are served. The group is playing on a vintage set that belonged to Julie Lazaroff’s mother, who would have turned 65 on this day. Pam Lazaroff bought Gayle, 33, a maahj set for her birthday; Weberman and Sarah Schwartzman-Palermo, 43, each got one for Hanukkah. Randi Papke, 46, recalls a time when the group got together and no one remembered to bring a set. That gets the Maahjettes laughing. In fact, they laugh a lot throughout the evening. Having fun together clearly is the draw. That and working on Hudson’s latest big idea: “Mah-jongg, the Musical.”
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OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
April 2014
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BY PATRICIA CORRIGAN • SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH LIGHT
hen Ilene Kanfer Murray teaches people to research their ancestry, she emphasizes how exciting it is to give a face, a history — a life — to those who came before. “We wouldn’t be here without them, and the more we can put flesh on their bones, turn them from ghosts from the past into living people, we realize how like them we are,” Murray said. Murray, 66, is the publications director of the St. Louis Genealogical Society and co-leader of the Jewish Special Interest Group (J-SIG), which is affiliated with the St. Louis Genealogical Society (see related story, page 34). Genealogy started out as a hobby for Murray, and she has mastered it so fully that she now knows that her grandmother not only fudged about her age, but about the place of her birth. Murray and several other St. Louisans who have researched their ancestry spoke to the Light recently about what inspired them to begin and how they went about it, and they also shared some of their interesting findings. Murray’s interest in genealogy 30
April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Ilene Kanfer Murray shows some of the materials she unearthed on her greatgreat grandfather, who was a whiskey company spokesperson. Murrray is publications director of the St. Louis Genealogical Society and co-leader of an affiliated group, the Jewish Special Interest Group (J-SIG). Photo: Lisa Mandel
was sparked when she met the man who became her husband. “Ed was a science teacher at Brittany Woods Middle School and I was a language arts teacher,” said Murray, who lives in University City. “When we started team-teaching, Ed had been working on his family’s history for
10 years. That’s how I got hooked.” This was in 1981, when genealogy was relatively new. “It was hard to find material outside the national archives or large libraries, though there were a couple of Jewish journals out there like Avotaynu and some basic guide-
Bob and Pat Denlow at their home in Clayton. Photo: Lisa Mandel
books,” Murray said. “Of course, the Internet changed everything. Doing research is infinitely easier now.” After Ed died in 2006, Murray set aside her own research and worked on her husband’s family tree, but not before she unraveled a tangled tale told by her maternal grandmother. “My grandmother told me repeatedly that she was American-born,” Murray said. “My grandfather came from Ukraine at 16 and my grandmother made fun of him, called him a ‘greenhorn.’” In census records, Murray found one notation that said her grandmother was born in Poland and a second that recorded her birthplace as Russia. Looking at passenger ship records, Murray confirmed that her grandmother was born in Poland and was two years old when she came to the United States. Why did Murray’s grandmother lie about her past? “Your guess is as
good as mine,” Murray said, laughing. “Stories that families tell are not necessarily true.” Catching your ancestors in fibs isn’t always easy, Murray said. “Depending on where your people are from, you may or may not be able to get your hands on the records. Some records have been destroyed. Many are still here, but in archives that are in deplorable condition, not even indexed. And some archives are not available to researchers.” Still, Murray encourages people to prevail. “When I teach people to do Jewish genealogy, I tell them we owe it to the memory of all the people who died in the Holocaust,” she said. Pat Denlow takes that to heart. Pat, a Catholic, married Bob, who is Jewish, in 1986. While raising their children as Jews, Pat became close to Bob’s mother, who shared some of the family’s stories. As a result, Pat Denlow started reading more
about the Holocaust. “I became obsessed with finding the names of each and every family victim,” Pat Denlow said. Over the years, her research has uncovered the names of many of Bob’s ancestors and also the towns in Poland where they lived. “The data also revealed the names and number of family killed in the Shoah,” she said. “One hundred and fifty Denlow relatives – including aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews — were murdered. The family was stunned by the number of relatives murdered.” In 1994, the Denlows traveled to Poland to find Bob’s relatives’ homes and learn more about them. “We went to Wegrow, where Bob’s dad, Sol Dzienciolowski, lived, and then we went to Poland’s eastern border, to a shtetl called Sarnaki, where Bob’s mother grew up,” Pat Denlow recalled. “There we met an OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
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LEFT: Ed and Barbara Barbarash at home in Creve Coeur. ABOVE: Binders hold some of Ed Barbarash’s genealogy research. Photos: Yana Hotter
elderly woman who knew Bob’s mother, and we found birth records in Wegrow for Bob’s father and relatives.” The couple also visited Israel, where they met relatives who had survived. The Denlows live in Clayton and are members at Central Reform Congregation. Pat said she continues to research the Denlow family history. Her favorite online resources include JewishGen, ancestry.com and two programs for Mac users, Reunion and Family Tree Maker.
Online research sites are helpful and Facebook may help you connect with some newly found relatives, but Ed Barbarash, 74, recommends starting any family research with yourself, documenting your own memories. Growing up, Barbarash knew that his grandfather’s sister had married his grandfather’s brother-in-law, and that connection ignited Barbarash’s interest in family history. “I started researching my parents’ families in 1975, when you had to
write letters or make phone calls and visit court houses and city halls to obtain information. Then as my family and career grew, I set it aside until I retired on 2007 after a 50-year career in information technology,” Barbarash said. He lives with his wife, Barbara, in Creve Coeur. They are honorary members of Congregation Shaare Emeth. “Today, websites like ancestry.com are a goldmine of information, but it saddens me that I didn’t get started on
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this when my parents and grandparents were still alive. So many stories and facts are lost and may never be found,” Barbarash said. “Genealogy shouldn’t be just a list of names and birth, marriage and death dates. It needs a human face. What were these people like? What hardships did they endure and what successes or failures did they encounter during their lifetime? This is why I will never be finished.” Alan Barasch concurs. “It is a neverending saga. Sunday morning is my family-tree time, unless someone asks a question other times,” said Barasch, a computer programmer. Originally from Birmingham, he lives in unincorporated St. Louis County and is affiliated with United Hebrew Congregation. The former second president of the now-defunct Jewish Genealogical Society of St. Louis, Barasch has tracked his ancestry for about 50 of his 64 years. He considers himself lucky that both his parents asked lots of questions when they were growing up. “My father asked questions while his brother was out having a good time. Now, my uncle calls me for the answers,” Barasch said. “As the eldest of four children, I felt it was my duty to collect all that stuff.” When Barasch was in his 20s, a cousin who lived nearby used to invite family members over to trade family pictures and stories. “Because of those visits, my first real exposure to our genealogy was through my paternal grandmother’s side,” Barasch said. “With the foundation I got there, a large chart that another cousin built and my parents’ stories, I have traced that line to 1735 and have 600-plus names. I have also researched both my sisters-in-law’s families back to Europe.” Like everyone who researches family history, Barasch has lots of stories. One is about his maternal and paternal grandmothers, whom he traced back to a shtetl in Lithuania where more than a thousand people lived. “One family left
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April 2014
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Lithuania in 1880, and went to Birmingham, Ala. The other family went to Glasgow, Scotland, and didn’t reach Alabama until 1917,” Barasch said. “On first meeting in 1948, both grandmothers discovered they had the same style of engagement ring.” Barasch has made copies of all his data and given it his nieces. “They don’t have much interest now,” he said, “but I am hoping by the time they have children, they will want to pass along all of it.” Moritz and Henriette Freund, who founded Freund Bakery shortly after coming to St. Louis in 1848 from what was known as southern Bohemia, likely had no idea that some 166 years later, a host of relatives would be still be celebrating their existence – and even that of their ancestors — and also telling tales about their company, which grew to become one of the largest wholesale bakeries in the country. Four generations of family members operated the bakery until 1972, when it was sold. And yet, the baking goes on. “My nephew is still baking buns in Los Angeles,” said Gladys Barker, who at 96 says that she is the oldest living member of the Freund family. “If there is anyone older, they are in no condition to talk,” she said, laughing. Barker lives at the Gatesworth and is affiliated with Temple Israel. To
So what is the secret to successfully researching your family’s history? “You want relatives who are scoundrels,” advises Ilene Kanfer Murray. “When people followed the letter of the law, no one paid attention. But if your relatives did things that were wrong, that means there will be records, and you can find them.” Murray is publications director of the St. Louis Genealogical Society, said to be the largest such organization in the country. The job is a volunteer post, one Murray has held since she retired from teaching 14 years ago. Also, along with Phyllis Faintich, Murray is co-leader of the Jewish Special Interest Group (J-SIG), which is affiliated with the St. Louis Genealogical Society and a member of both the International Association of Jewish Genealogical Societies and the National Federation of Genealogical Societies. Murray’s family has its share of scoundrels. “When my grandmother’s father’s brother went to Chicago to make his for-
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April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Gladys Barker and her cousin (and family historian) Andy Schwartz are shown in front of the extensive family tree created by a relative in the 1950s. Photo: Lisa Mandel
tune, he got involved with some saloon keepers who ran a house of ill repute. He knew that meant trouble, so he changed the family name,” she said. The father of this infamous brother, Murray’s greatgreat grandfather, was a bit of a celebrity. He served as the spokesman for Duffy’s Pure Malt Whiskey, which was advertised as a heart tonic. His face appeared in newspapers “from one end of the country to the other,” Murray said. Whether or not your family tree boasts scoundrels, the St. Louis Genealogical Society offers tips for beginning researchers, summarized here: Begin with yourself. Keep your records straight, using a system that works for you. Enlist the help of relatives who may know family stories or traditions. Seek out every source, including government records, county histories, legal documents, ships’ passenger lists, financial papers and religious records.
Go to libraries, courthouses and archives – everything is not online. Cite your sources. The St. Louis Genealogical Society will hold its 44th Annual Family History Conference on April 26 at the Maryland Heights Centre, 2344 McKelvey Road. The theme is “Genealogy in the Computer Age.” The society also offers classes on researching family history. For more information, see stlgs.org or call 314-647-8547. A revival of the Jewish Genealogical Society of St. Louis, the J-SIG meets quarterly at the St. Louis County Library and provides speakers on genealogy for local organizations and groups. Membership is open to all researchers of Jewish genealogy. For more information, email jewishSIG@ stlgs.org or call 314-647-8547 from 9 a.m. to noon on Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday and ask for Murray or Faintich. — Patricia Corrigan
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date, her list of relatives has some 2,000 entries on it, dating back to about 1700. Andy Schwartz, a cousin of Barker’s who lives in Olivette, is the Freund family historian, following the lead of his late mother, Ellen Jane Schwartz. Before that, some 60 years ago a cousin had put together a family tree in preparation for a reunion that drew “a couple hundred people,” Barker said. In 1992, a Freund family reunion drew more than 400 people from all over the country. Though Barker is not in charge of keeping track of the family history, she retains a deep interest in the topic and has many fond memories. “My father had 10 brothers and sisters in his family, and they all lived in St. Louis with all their children. All of us — maybe 50
of us — would go to my grandparents’ house on Hawthorne every Sunday night for dinner,” Barker said. “The house was built in 1904 or 1905, and when it was for sale recently, I went through it. Though the kitchen and baths had been modernized, a lot of it was the same, and it was still beautiful.” Barker’s son, Larry Barker, collects Freund Bakery artifacts. “He has some of the bread boxes that were placed outside St. Louis restaurants, for delivery from the Freund horse and wagon,” Barker said. “He also has little Freund watch fobs from 1912, enamel set in copper, and a lot of signs. I think he is the only one in the whole wide world who collects Freund stuff.” Tangible artifacts are one benefit of researching a family history. Insight
into your parents and grandparents, a better understanding of what made them the way they were, is a different sort of reward. A trip in 2012 to Seirijai, Lithuania, provided that for Mark Kruger, who lives with his wife, Debbie Benoit, in Clayton. Both are lawyers; she is in private practice and he teaches history at St Louis Community College. Both agree that Benoit gets the credit for initiating the research into Kruger’s family. “I got interested in genealogical research in the early 1990s, and did a lot of work on my family history,” Benoit said. “When I told Mark I was willing to look into his family history, he said I wouldn’t find anything. That was the challenge that I needed.” The two spoke with relatives, put
..
St. Louis Jewish Community Archives WHERE: Part of the Saul Brodsky Jewish Community Library, located in the Jewish Federation Kopolow Building, 12 Millstone Campus Drive HOURS: 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays and by special appointment MORE INFO: Email archivist Diane Everman at deverman@jfedstl.org. Visit the archives online at brodskylibrary.org/ archives.php
or local Jewish genealogists, the St. Louis Jewish Community Archives is a resource that shouldn’t be overlooked. The archives, part of the Saul Brodsky Jewish Community Library, were founded in 1989 and offer more than 200 separate collections, with records of numerous Jewish organizations, including the Jewish Community Center, Jewish Federation and Jewish War Veterans; some congregations; Jewish newspapers including a full set of the Jewish Light and predecessor newspapers; and extensive family collections. 36
April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Archivist Diane Everman points out some of the collections housed in the St. Louis Jewish Community Archive. Photo: Yana Hotter Archivist Diane Everman said she frequently helps genealogists put a human face on the names they’ve gleamed from their preliminary research — using a genealogy website such as Ancestry.com, HeritageQuest.com or FamilySearch.com; looking at census records or death certificates.
“From regular historical research using the census and web searches, they can probably say when the person lived, when and where they died, possibly, but they don’t know much about their lives,” Everman said. “And that to me is the most
See ARCHIVES, continued on page 43
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together a family chart and went to Chicago, where Kruger grew up, to take pictures of family gravestones. Benoit found the naturalization certificate for Kruger’s grandfather and also his application for naturalization. That document mentioned the town of Seirijai. The couple also visited the YIVO Institute for Jewish Research in New York. “When Debbie discovered where my father was born, I decided to go see it,” Kruger said. In Seirijai, Benoit and Kruger met with the deputy mayor, walked the streets and visited the Jewish cemetery. They also went to the woods where all the Jews were killed on Sept 11, 1941, when the Nazis came through the city. “All the Jews in the city — 951 Jews — were killed on one day, machinegunned next to a huge ditch in the woods. There is a plaque where the killing took place, but it is deep in the woods and there are no signs as to how to get there. Prior to that day, Jews made up half the town of about 2000 people,” Kruger said. “From what I have read people in Seirijai cheered when the Nazis took away the Jewish population, and then rushed in and took all their possessions and their houses.” The visit to Seirijai enabled Kruger to better understand his father, Kruger said. “My father never talked about the old country,” Kruger said. ““Although he came to the U.S. when he was only a year old, he lived with his mother, who seemed to have brought the shtetl with her from Russia. When I was very young, we lived upstairs from my grandmother. She did not speak much English, so I never talked to her about the past.” At the Jewish cemetery in Seirijai, the couple had hoped to find well-marked gravestones, but Benoit said the cemetery is not in good repair. “We brought stones from our home to put on graves at the cemetery, and we brought home soil from the cemetery, which we then put on Mark’s father’s grave,” said Benoit. “A full circle.” OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
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Setting (spiritual) boundaries After two decades, core group continues to quietly monitor, maintain the St. Louis Community Eruv BY DAVID BAUGHER SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH LIGHT
R
abbi Chona Muser seemed to be making steady progress as he trekked up a slight incline. But suddenly his feet lost their purchase in the gooey early March mud. For a moment, he wobbled unsteadily and seemed to be in real danger of toppling back into the muck. Fortunately, he stabilized his position and trudged forward unfazed. “I’ve also gotten stung numerous times,” he said with a chuckle. “It’s part of the job.” Most rabbinic jobs don’t require time spent negotiating muddy hills or battling bees but Muser has been doing this like clockwork every Thursday for two decades, dutifully donning his hard hat to go about his appointed rounds. It is his job to examine the eastern portion of the St. Louis Community Eruv, a border established under Jewish legal tradition that few outside Judaism even know exists — and one that can be confusing even to those who are a part of the Jewish community. Stretching some 20 miles or so, the delineation encompasses nine syna-
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April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
During his weekly check, Rabbi Chona Muser looks out near the former Brith Sholom Kneseth Israel synagogue in Richmond Heights to visually check that a line making up part of the eruv — a symbolic enclosure allowing observant Jews within to carry objects outdoors during Shabbat.
gogues within its bounds, allowing observant members to carry objects outdoors during Shabbat without running afoul of Jewish law. This is only permitted so long as the border is unbroken, which is why Muser is out on his weekly inspection, an hour-and-a-half journey that leads him down cul-de-sacs, through backyards and up brush-covered hills
from Pagedale Avenue to the University City Loop, over to Washington University and into Richmond Heights to visually inspect the eastern half of the eruv and ensure that it remains intact. “Usually, they think I’m working for the electric company,” said Muser, not long before a quizzical local resident inquires as to his activities. “I have my
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hard hat on and I’m looking at wires.” Examining those wires is a big part of the job description. Many of them belong to utilities but often eruv officials have to attach their own strings where gaps are present. Unobtrusive, the fishing line-like strands are nearly invisible unless one knows just what to look for. Other parts of the border aren’t even composed of wire at all. The eruv can also be defined by fences, the faces of buildings and even the Interstate 64 sound wall, an appropriate barrier since the original concept of an eruv descends from the idea of a walled city. And much like a city wall, the eruv has helped protect the Orthodox Jewish community in mid-St. Louis County, though not from external hazards but rather the dangers of population loss. Without the eruv,
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WHAT IS AN ERUV?
ST. LOUIS AREA ERUVS
Since traditional Jewish Law prohibits carrying objects outside the home on Shabbat, some Jewish communities set up an eruv in order to legally allow carrying of certain small items outdoors. An eruv essentially creates a private domain out of multiple public spheres by recognizing an unbroken border, often composed of fencing and wire, surrounding the area in question. An eruv must be inspected carefully before Shabbat in order to ensure it is intact or it is not considered valid.
Eruv (stleruv.org) in the University City area (above). The eruv is inspected weekly. To check its status, call the eruv hotline at 314-863-1811 after 12:30 p.m. Friday. • The Chesterfield eruv, at points, runs as far north as Olive Bouelvard and as far west as White Road with an eastern limit running as far as Woods Mill Road. The eruv is maintained by Tpheris Israel Chevra Kadisha. See a map at tickstl.com/eruv-of-chesterfield. html. Call 314-469-7060 for more details.
observant Jews might decide to move elsewhere. “The eruv in St. Louis has done nothing less than transform the community,” said Rabbi Ze’ev Smason of Nusach Hari B’nai Zion in Olivette. “It
has made Shabbat a day where it is now possible for families to share meals with each other, for families to walk and come to synagogue who were previously unable to.” That’s because carrying children to
• The St. Louis Jewish Community
OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
April 2014
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April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
synagogue or using strollers is often logistically vital to the process of attending services. Both Smason and Muser note that younger families often look to see if there is an eruv present when they plan to relocate to an area. Muser recalled one Maryland community near his hometown of Baltimore. “They got their eruv finally but by that time it was too late,” Muser said. “The Orthodox shuls closed and the whole area just stopped growing. If the eruv had been there five years earlier, that community could have stayed.” The St. Louis region has two eruvs, one in Chesterfield, the other in the University City area. The latter is now celebrating its 20th year. In the beginning, it wasn’t easy to get things rolling. Eruv advocates had to ask permission from a variety of municipal officials and utility companies to move forward with the project. The reaction wasn’t hostile but there was a good bit of confusion. “They were kind of scratching their head and going ‘What?’” remembered Alan Haber, who helped create the eruv. “But once we had all the agreements signed, the utilities have been magnificent to deal with.” Today, eruv leadership pays a nominal fee to use power poles across the area, whether the eruv employs existing line or whether it attaches its own. An annual fundraiser defrays costs for things like insurance. In some instances, lines have had to run through private property. In such cases, eruv representatives ask the property owner in question for permission. “If we don’t get their agreement, we don’t have any arguments,” said Haber. “We just find some other way to route it somewhere else with someone more agreeable.” Smason, who is not directly affiliated with the local eruv, said that there can be resistance to an eruv in some communities because some people are so unfamiliar with the concept. “They don’t know what’s going on,” he said. “The Jews are coming in and
41
doing this religious thing. [People think] they want to buy up the property and practice their religion in the public domain. Anything that’s unknown has some questions associated with it.” The solution is usually to try and explain the process fully. “Because of misinformation, it takes, as it always does, respectful, friendly communication with homeowners, municipalities and utilities to impress upon them how innocuous it is and what a kindness it is that they do by enabling us to have an eruv and how it facilitates community connections,” he said. Haber said that most people are cooperative. Still, even without the human factor, there are challenges. An eruv can tackle some pretty rugged terrain and some obstacles have required an innovative frame of mind to overcome. “We had to be pretty inventive at times,” Haber said. “If you try to cross a particular creek that is pretty wide, shooting a bow and arrow [with a line attached] so you can get it across, I
think is pretty inventive.” In other instances, physical challenges have been the problem. Years ago, Haber remembers eruv work that had to be done near an underground concrete drainage culvert. “I have pictures of a rabbi rappelling down the side of the wall of this thing,” he said. “The angle was pretty steep but we managed.” They also manage to keep the eruv up most weeks. In two decades, the border has been down only three or four times. Minor repairs can be made by Muser or his counterpart, who examines the western half of the eruv. Bigger fixes require action from professionals who can climb poles or use ladders. The biggest culprit in taking down an eruv isn’t rain or high winds though. These may occasionally cause a branch to drop a wire somewhere but a larger problem is ice, which can accumulate on lines and cause them to fail. The organization even runs a special hotline so that individuals can check the eruv’s status. It is Haber who records the mes-
sage. Friends joke he is the “voice of the eruv.” Rabbi Hyim Shafner of Bais Abraham, which sits towards the east end of the eruv, noted that the concept has a long history, one that didn’t always translate to modern times in an uncontroversial manner. In Europe, eruvim were often serving small villages, so they were simpler to create. “The idea of whether you could do it in a large city with a lot of people going through in cars was very public domain. It was a halachic issue,” he said. In fact, in St. Louis, it was a contentious one as well. Long before the modern eruv, the Gateway City was the staging area for what may be the first eruv established in the United States. According to the blog Eruvonline, a local rabbi wished to establish such a boundary near South Broadway just before the turn of the century but quickly found himself embroiled in an intense debate over Jewish law with a fellow rabbi who disagreed. Their papers and
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April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
responses formed some of the earliest American dialogue on the topic. Eventually, the eruv was established and continued to see use until the 1930s, when the Jewish community began to migrate westward. Rabbi Yosef Landa of Chabad said that today the issue is generally something most people can agree upon though implementation of eruvs didn’t become commonplace until more recently. “In America, it kind of didn’t take hold until about the ’80s,” he said. “As it spread from town to town, people saw that it was a wonderful community tool.” Stuart Zimbalist, head of the eruv, said that the boundaries have changed over the years. Sometimes it is because the community expands. In 2005, the eruv was lengthened to encompass part of the Washington University campus for Jewish students. Other times, the move is one of necessity. Construction is a constant problem. The massive redesign of Interstate 64 was one example. “There was also the time we moved it because they were building the MetroLink across Forest Park Parkway,” recalled Zimbalist, who founded the eruv with Haber, Dr. Joel Garbow, Dr. Michael Ariel and others. There are also periodic improvements to consider. “Every once in a while, you make a change to it because you find a better way like a new fence has been put up somewhere or a new wall has been built. Things like that,” he said. Regardless of the legalities, the logistics, the weather and the occasional questions from curious onlookers, the weekly ritual of eruv examination continues. Smason sums up why the boundary is so important. “It facilitates the creation of a closer community,” said Smason. “That’s what Judaism in the broader sense is about.”
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ARCHIVES, continued from page 36 interesting part — which is probably why I’m a historian.” The archives don’t include birth, death or marriage records — what they do offer is what Everman calls “putting the flesh on the bones,” providing context about what their lives were like. Some materials at the archives are digitized, so Everman is able to help researchers take the names they have found and run them in the archive’s databases. One volunteer created a hard-copy index of the Jewish Light from 1947 to 1970. Another has created a digital database of almost 10,000 obituaries through 1981. Other searches require a bit more legwork. One mother and son came in searching for information about the woman’s mother. They knew she had been in one of the Jewish orphanages in town and wanted to learn more. Everman directed them to the orphanage’s minutes during the approximate time the woman might have been there. The records were unindexed, so they searched, file by file, for the woman’s name. Sure enough, numerous mentions turned up. “They were ecstatic,” Everman said. Everman, who is now in her sixth year with the archives, said the best way for genealogists to contact her is by email (deverman@ jfedstl.org), and if possible, include any relevant names and vital information so she can start running them against her databases. — Mike Sherwin, Managing Editor
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RECIPES, Continued from page 12
Elaine Spielberg’s Hasenblusin
their spouses will be able to carry on these traditions and will derive the same pleasure she does from cooking dishes using recipes her grandparents used so many years ago.
INGREDIENTS
Rudy Oppenheim
Margi Lenga Kahn is the mother of five and grandmother of five. A cooking instructor at the Kitchen Conservatory, she is currently working on a project to preserve the stories and recipes of heritage cooks. She welcomes your comments and suggestions at margikahn@gmail.com.
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April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
DIRECTIONS
Lightly beat eggs; set aside. Sift salt, sugar, and flour together in a mixing bowl. Make a well in center of mixture and pour eggs into well. To mix by hand, use a wooden spoon to gradually work in all the flour from the sides of the bowl until dough forms a ball. (Alternatively, mixture can be placed into the bowl of a food processor and pulsed just until the dough comes together. Do not over mix. Gather dough into a ball and transfer to a mixing bowl.) Cover bowl with a towel and let it rest at room temperature for 20 minutes. Cut ball of dough in half and dust
each half lightly with flour Dust countertop lightly with flour. Roll out one piece of dough at a time until very thin and almost transparent. (The dough is elastic, so roll from the center out to the sides.) Using a paring knife, cut dough into 4 x1-inch rectangles. Repeat with remaining dough. Fill a pan (a Dutch oven works well) with 1/4 inch of oil; heat oil to about 325 degrees. While oil is heating, line a cookie sheet with 2 layers of paper towels; set cookie sheet alongside pan. Drop cut rectangles, a few at a time into hot oil for about 1 minute. The dough will bubble and turn a light golden brown. Using a slotted spoon, flip dough over and fry an additional 15-20 seconds. Using a slotted spoon or tongs, remove golden crisps from pan to paper towels; drain. Let cool for a minute, then sprinkle both sides generously with confectioner’s sugar. Serve warm on a colorful platter.
Rudy Oppenheim’s Chopped Herring Salad INGREDIENTS
3 large eggs, hardboiled, peeled and chopped 1 medium yellow onion, peeled and chopped 2 medium sour dill pickles, chopped 1½ medium apples, cored and chopped 1, 16-ounce can red beets, liquid drained and beets chopped 1, 8 oz. jar of herring in wine sauce, liquid drained and herring and onions chopped 2 tbsp. mayonnaise ½ tsp. salt 2 tbsp. granulated sugar
Photo: Lisa Mandel
Rudy Oppenheim inherited his love of cooking from both his grandmother and his mother. He was born in Elmshorn, Germany. His family fled to Shanghai to escape the Nazis. Two years later, Oppenheim and his mother and father moved to St. Louis by way of Granite City. He met his wife of 58 years, Francis, when they were both students at Washington University. They have three daughters and a son, eight grandchildren, and six greatgrandchildren, with two more on the way. Oppenheim recalls fondly when his mother made her plum dumplings. “On those nights, the dumplings would be preceded by a thick potato Rudy soup so that our stomachs Oppenheim would be full when we got to the dumplings. My brother and I could still eat five or six of them at one meal!” Oppenheim also loved his mother’s herring salad, which she often made for New Year’s Eve. People would come together to celebrate at their home in Germany, and at his mother’s home here in St. Louis. The bright fuchsia herring salad was served in a bowl as part of a buffet. Oppenheim remembers that his mother’s good friend, Ida Wolfsberg, especially looked forward to that salad. Oppenheim made both the dumplings and herring salad for his family when his kids were young. He tweaked the herring salad recipe every so slightly, substituting herring in wine sauce for the Matjes herring originally called for. “My adult children now make this same salad for their families,” he said.
4 eggs Dash salt 1 tsp. sugar 2 ½ cups all-purpose flour Canola oil for frying Confectioner’s sugar (powdered sugar)
DIRECTIONS
Combine all ingredients together in a medium bowl; stir well and refrigerate for 3-4 hours for flavors to blend, and the beet color to bleed. Makes 6-8 servings.
JUDAICA, continued from page 22 scan at 7 a.m.” – she tries to pray as close to the moment as possible. Yet, as Kabak knows all too well, bad things happen. Her first husband, Kenny Cherry, died in 1970 at age 40, less than a year after he was diagnosed with leukemia. Kabak, married nearly 18 years, was left with three young children. Because inpatient care was then the norm, Kenny spent much of his final year hospitalized. “People from all over the hospital would pray for us,” she says. “We were very close with all of the doctors and nurses. Kenny was so young and had such a positive attitude. Everybody fell in love with him.” Good-luck letters would arrive in the mail. So would novena cards, or notifications of prayers to be said for Kenny on nine consecutive days by Catholic friends. “Knowing that others care really means a lot,” Kabak says. She and her second husband, Gene Kabak, met during a bingo night for singles at Hillel House at Washington University, sponsored by B’nai B’rith. With Gene, Joyce took her first and only trip to Israel, in 1990. Initially,
FARM, continued from page 20 ers and vegetables on land she leased inFerguson on the oldest organic farm west of the Mississippi. What she raised, she cooked or gave away, often to someone unsuspecting, whose scowl invariably disappeared when Lander asked: “Hey, do you like tomatoes? Here’s a sack.” When EarthDance, an organic farming apprenticeship program, began leasing the plot next to Lander’s, she became the group’s farm manager, at one point with 30 apprentices. From that program, she was chosen by Slow Food
she didn’t want to go. Even though she had completed radiation treatments after being diagnosed three years earlier with breast cancer, she told Gene that her mother needed her. She protested that property she owned required tending, that a million things demanded her attention. But Gene insisted. On the soggy afternoon that they ducked into a Jerusalem jewelry store, Joyce didn’t buy herself anything. But when they got back to their hotel, she couldn’t forget a particular necklace and earrings. Parts of that day still mystify her. “Why I told Gene we had to take a cab and go back, I don’t know,” she says. But she loved her purchases so much that she began wearing the jewelry every day. Especially because the pieces were from Israel, Gene praised them, too. Then, all of a sudden, Kabak says: “I decided that whenever I had a mammogram, I would put on the jewelry, say a little prayer and I’d be watched.” That’s how it all started. When she accompanied Gene to his doctors, she wore the jewelry, too. Somehow, word spread. These days, Kabak receives up to five phone
requests weekly. That frequency might increase. As she and her friends age, their number of ailments and procedures likewise seems to grow. To keep her prayer schedule straight, Kabak plans to begin writing it all down. She declines all requests to pray for the stock market, but she has prayed for everything from births of grandchildren to organ transplants. Afterward, people often phone to thank her. “I feel you were there with me,” one woman said. “I really was,” Kabak replied. A member of Nusach Hari B’nai Zion congregation, Kabak keeps no tally of successes. That’s not the idea. As she learned during her first husband’s ordeal, sometimes you pray because you don’t know what else to do. After a lengthy illness, Gene Kabak passed away in 2006. He was 73. He and Joyce were married 28 years. She wore her Israeli jewelry to his funeral. Without hope, Kabak believes, there’s despair. And sometimes, she says, “the most you can pray for is that someone has an easier time and is strong enough to go with the flow.”
International to be a delegate at Terra Madre in Turin, Italy, the equivalent of a Slow Food Olympics. Galvanized by the conference’s message to increase the capacity of local communities to provide good, clean, fair and sustainably grown food, Lander found the experience “life-changing.” Three months later, she and Oglander bought their farm. Now on a joint quest for an ever-more meaningful life, they have enough ideas to raise a barn roof. If Oglander’s bee colony succeeds, they’ll have honey. By making farm space available, Lander would like to teach families,
school groups and scouting troops to grow and harvest their own food and flowers. A yoga studio could fit in the hayloft. Elsewhere on the farm, book groups, photographers and other artists could gather. Oglander and Lander are not looking to reinvent the world. Instead, they hope to model in “some teeny” fashion, Oglander says, a wholesome way of doing things. As Lander wrote recently, success would be to share with others “a Sabbath-like sense of peace and oneness and communion. … Time to just ‘be’” and space for “restoration, contemplation and renewal.”
OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
April 2014
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8435 Olive Blvd
ST. LOUIS, MO 63132
Must present coupon when ordering. Cannot be combined with another offers. Expires 6/20/14
1/2 OFF Dinner
Purchase 1 dinner & get 2nd of equal or lesser value at 1/2 off. Present copon prior to order. Must present coupon when ordering. Cannot be combined with another offers. Expires 6/20/14
New Hours: Open Late Night, Tues-Sun 11:30 am-2 am OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
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Bassman OrthOpedics \\ dr. donald bassman m.d. \ board certified orthopedic surgeon
The Manhasset Strings
Sports medicine, arthroscopic knee and shoulder surgery and total hip and knee replacements
522 n. new ballas rd., suite 199 creve coeur, mo 63141 314-567-9400 www.bassmanortho.com
A String Quartet for your Special Simcha ConTACT: Marilyn • (636) 537-0405
www.manhassetstrings.com Whether you are planning a wedding or other simcha, we will add a touch of elegance. our repertoire includes a wide variety of music, creating a special program. We are experienced and professional, having performed in the area for many years.
Maintain your quality goods with ONE STOP & shop Men’s Shoes Featuring: Alden, Mezlan, Neil M, Tauer, Johnson & Wolverine.
Extend the life of your Christian Louboutin Footwear with our red sole protectors
LADUE • 8855 LADUE RD. • 314.727.4080 (SCHNUCKS LADUE CROSSING)
WWW.COBBLESTONESHOEREPAIR.COM 48
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PERSONALIZED HOMECARE SERVICES
schonbrun@sbcglobal.net | www.schonbrunrealtors.com
To find out if you’re overpaying for homecare, call for a FREE consultation.
Nurses, CNAs, NAs and Homecare Companions Live-In or Part Time • No Contract Required Now Accepting V.A. Benefits Providing assistance since 1987
314-646-8131 seniorservicesofstlouis.com
Senior Services Unlimited ALL EMPLOYEES SCREENED/BONDED/INSURED
Schonbrun Realtors 7382 Pershing 1E, University City, MO Multi-Million Dollar Agent Broker/Officer
Gloria Schonbrun 314-721-3121 | 314-330-3813 cell
**Ceiling Fan Experts for over 25 years** Locally Owned & Operated
It's not "like home." It is home. • Around the clock Live-In Care • Flexible Hourly Care • Hospital Sitters / Hospital to Home
Our Best Fans Are Our Customers * INSTALLATION AVAILABLE *
314-863-8989 HomeCareAssistance.com
636-394-9515 • 15805 Manchester Rd. www.dansfancity.com
Gitt Team
the 636-532-0200
Susie “Gitts” it
Chesterfield West Office
SOLD!
Susie Gitt Terry Safron 314-757-GITT (4488)
Susan Burack
Mazal Tov!
600 Mason Ridge Center Drive, Suite 100 St. Louis, Missouri 63141 314-514-8881
www.lopataflegel.com
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YOU DESERVE THE BEST
Call Us Today for all of your Real Estate Needs
Lynnsie Balk Kantor (314) 406-1214 www.Lynnsie.com
Valerie Beilenson
Carol & Ben Katz
Hannah Locks
(314) 517-4854 hannahlocks11@gmail.com
(314) 503-5186 carolandbenkatz.com
Charlee Steiner
(314) 974-4780 www.charleesteiner.com
Renee Dreyfus
(314) 276-7770 (314) 322-3343 vbeilenson@prudentialalliance.com homes_4_u@yahoo.com
Karen Wagner
Barb & Jake Glassman (314) 913-2272 glassmans@mail.com
(314) 307-4663 www.karenwagner.com
Sara Willick
(314) 322-1164 www.sarawillick.com
Diane Patershuk 314-477-7673 dpatershuk@gmail.com
CALL or LOG-ON TODAY... www.prudentialalliance.com Ladue/Frontenac (314) 997-7600 50
April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
Chesterfield/Wildwood (636) 537-0300
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Our Tradition Continues
In Olivette
The Berger Memorial Chapel directors and staff you already know have moved west to better serve your family. We couldn’t transport our Central West End chapel in one piece. But we’ve done the next best thing: • All-new chapel, entrance and
facilities made warm and comfortable with familiar fixtures from our previous location. RICHARD W. STEIN • The same compassionate staff and EMILY STEIN MACDONALD directors you know and trust. Our new space will provide the entire St. Louis Jewish community with a larger, brighter, more convenient location where tradition and value meet. To learn more, call us at 314-361-0622 or visit us online at bergermemorialchapel.com.
Compassion Helpline® National Transferability Bereavement Travel Personal Planning Services Grief Support Veterans Benefits
A Proud Dignity Memorial® Provider.
BERGER MEMORIAL CHAPEL 9430 Olive Boulevard | St. Louis, MO 63132 | 314-361-0622 www.bergermemorialchapel.com OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light
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April 2014 OY! Magazine - St. Louis Jewish Light