Pinstripe Meditation

Pinstripe Meditation Six practical meditations to reduce stress and improve concentration Meditation 1. Breathing Meditation Meditation 2. Visualisation meditation Meditation 3. Walking meditation Meditation 4. Relaxation meditation Meditation 5. Healing meditation Meditation 6. Compassion meditation

Introduction Recent studies have shown that work related stress is widespread in the UK and accounts for over 13 million lost working days every year. Almost 1 in 7 people claim they find their work extremely stressful and 80% of all G.P. visits are stress related.

The definition of stress is a physical, mental, or emotional response to events that causes bodily or mental tension. Therefore, stress is a mentally originating phenomenon, which will also have an effect upon the physical body and can manifest in many forms such as: Tension, frustration, anger, weakened immunity, ill health, and poor concentration.

According to 2010/2011 HSE statistics, 34.7% of all work related illness is stress related and 1 in 6 people claim their work is either very or extremely stressful.

Prolonged exposure to stress will inevitably have an adverse effect upon the immune system. A fully functional immune system may only be minimally affected by stress.

However, major stress events such as; a death in the family, change of job, redundancy, or moving house, can severely compromise immunity, and an already weakened immune system can be further damaged by even small causes of stress.

Therefore, some form of intervention is required that will empower employees to manage stress effectively. There are many stress management programs in place, but the most effective is when the individual takes personal responsibility and meditation can provide the necessary tools to manage stress successfully.

Meditation is an ancient practice dating back many thousands of years. It is a method by which we look internally, rather than externally, for the causes of our well-being and happiness. Most of our lives are spent dwelling in the past or anticipating the future and rarely do we focus our full attention in the present. We search outside for the things that we think will bring us happiness and contentment, but inevitably if we are unhappy within ourselves, then nothing external will provide us with any long lasting satisfaction. We must therefore look for methods that will develop our sense of inner peace and calm. This in turn allows a more rational behavioral response that leads to intelligent decision-making and simultaneously, allows us to enjoy life to the full. By recognising the habitual patterns that give rise to negative emotions it is

possible to tame the mind over a time thereby changing our usual ‘roller-coaster’ emotional responses to stressful situations.

Scientific research has shown that a daily meditation practice can increase blood flow to the brain and this increases muscle relaxation and decreases the output of stress hormones such as cortisol. The psychological effects of meditation reinforce how mind and body affects each other, and many scientists have begun to study the medicinal effects of meditation, specifically in reducing stress-related ailments.

The new scientific field of Psychoneuroimmunology (PNI) has given credibility to the relationship between stress and its physiological effects on the body. Scientists in this growing field have discovered that stress modulates the activities of the nervous, endocrine, and immune systems.

Meditation directly opposes the "fight-or-flight" mechanism that is directly related to stress and meditation techniques are now being implemented by the medical profession to enable patients to reduce stress and promote self-control and positive well-being.

Implementing a meditation practice in business can benefit everyone at all levels using simple techniques that can reduce stress and improve general well-being and health.

Many think of meditation as a formal practice involving sitting in a lotus position, or removing themselves from society and living in a cave, but this is not necessarily the case. Meditation is simply mindfulness or being aware. The mind is always active and never switches off and even in sleep we dream. The mind is filled with millions of thoughts every day, most of which do not seem to be under our direct control and very often lead to actions that we regret.

Meditation can therefore train our mind to behave in a more positive way and rather than ‘react’ we can ‘act’ to situations and circumstances in order to achieve a beneficial outcome.

Meditation 1.

Breathing Meditation Benefits – calms the mind and reduces internal chatter.

We all experience “busy minds” when we can not seem to be able to switch off, especially before sleeping when the days activities provoke a stream of thoughts about what should have, could have, or might have happened. Even during the course of the day the mind never takes a break, thousands of thoughts constantly arise and fall away. Some of the thoughts may well be constructive and lead to positive actions, but the reality is that many do not and often lead to negative actions.

In ancient philosophical texts, the untamed mind is likened to a monkey, constantly being attracted to this and that, pulled in different directions according to attraction or aversion.

Thus the untrained mind is pulled here and there, fuelled by feelings of desire or dislike, this gives rise to emotions that will inevitably determine our state of mind throughout the day. We all experience times when for no apparent reason we feel agitated, disturbed or just ‘stressed out.’ Yet the reasons are very obvious, these disturbing emotions are the result of a lack of mindfulness or more simply put, a lack of awareness as to what is going on around us.

So often we try to concentrate on a task only to become unfocused at the slightest distraction. The reason for this is habit. Throughout our life we encounter situations and develop habits to deal with them. Every time we encounter a similar situation the mind searches its database of habits and applies the one most prevalent to the situation. The stronger the habit the more automatic the response will be. The busy mind has no time to take a step back and truly evaluate a situation, as it really exists.

Instead it simply applies a habit and response that is closest to the circumstance prevailing at the time. Most of the time it is an incorrect response, a reaction rather than an action.

Therefore the busy mind is also a habit, the habit to be busy. Unless this habit is broken then the busy mind will become even more busy and this will lead to a continual round of high’s and low’s, emotional turmoil, or disturbing emotions. A disturbing emotion is defined as an emotion that causes our minds to be agitated, distressed and stressed.

Meditation is the antidote to a busy mind. Simply sitting and concentrating on the breath one observes but does not participate in the mental gymnastics. The habit of the mind will try to disturb the meditation by very cunning methods. Thoughts will arise that seem interesting or provocative, even to the extent that something will seem urgent. This is just the old habit.

Through a regular practice of sitting in meditation the habit is changed and the mind becomes less busy, less frenetic, more calm and stable. This calm state will eventually allow us to slow down so that when familiar situations arise that would normally provoke our old habitual response, we can step back and ask the question, “is this response beneficial to myself and others, or is it simply reactionary?”

Meditation need not always be a formal ‘sitting meditation’ we can meditate whilst working, simply taking a little space to concentrate on the breath. Therefore meditation on the breath is the foundation of all meditations, indeed every meditation session regardless of the type, should begin with the breathing meditation.

Breathing Meditation Technique It is best to adopt the SEVEN POINT posture for this meditation as follows:

Point 1 Straight Back - Begin by sitting comfortably, you can sit cross-legged on a cushion or sit on a chair. Make sure your back is straight. If sitting on the floor in a cross-legged position, make sure that you have a cushion under your backside to raise you seat from the floor. Make sure that your hips are slightly above your knees, this take the pressure from your knee joints. If you sit in a chair make sure your feet are planted firmly onto the floor and that your back is straight.

Point 2 Legs – The legs should be crossed or straight (if sitting)

Point 3 Hands – Make sure you hands are relaxed by placing them on your thigh just below your navel. The right hand should rest on your left hand, and the thumbs just touching to form a triangle.

Point 4 Chin – The Chin should be tucked slightly.

Point 5 Eyes – You can meditate with closed eyes, however it is better to have the eyes slightly open just enough to allow in light to enter.

Point 6 Tongue – the tongue should be placed on the upper palate just in front of the teeth, this stops saliva forming.

Point 7 Lips – The lips should be slightly apart; the teeth should not be clenched.

First of all it is important to generate a good motivation, for a few minutes think about why you are meditating. The main purpose is to be happy. If you wish you can also generate kindness and compassion for everyone who you come into contact with.

This develops the intention and habit to be kind, which brings about a calmer and more peaceful mind.

Next take a few deep breaths then settle your mind. Now just sit and watch your breath. There is no need to change your breathing, just breathe in and out normally.

Let your mind settle into watching the breath. Observe how the air flows over your nostrils and passes up through the nasal chamber and down into your lungs. Feel the coolness of the air coming in and going out. Try to concentrate your mind at the entrance to your nostrils. Initially your mind will wander off, but be gentle with yourself, don’t get annoyed or frustrated. Years of habit will cause your mind to wander and thoughts to be followed. Just be aware that this will happen and gradually bring your attention back to the breath. Rest in the spaciousness of breathing in and out. If your mind wanders slowly bring it back again.

Do not be hard on yourself but use humour; let your mind be light not heavy, this is not a torture but a method by which you will gain a calmly abiding mind. Sit for no more than 5-6 minutes to begin with. At the end of your session take a short break then begin again for another 5-6 minutes.

Let your mind simply observe, do not get caught up in the thoughts that arise, simply observe that they exist and let them pass by.

It is better to practice several times a day for short sessions rather than try to maintain long sessions, at least when you begin to practice. The mind has developed habits over many years and it will take time to change and transform the mind. Be patient, do not get angry or annoyed and in time transformation will take place. Much like developing a skill such as learning to play an instrument. Constant practice, correct motivation and diligence are essential. At first it is difficult but eventually the instrument will almost become a part of you. Meditation is a skill to be learned gradually. It will transform your life, but it will take time.

Notes Try to formally meditate first thing in the morning for 5-10 minutes each day and again at night before bed.

Before an important meeting, take a few minutes to concentrate on the breath and set a motivation such as being calm and relaxed.

If you encounter a situation that is causing some stress, take a walk and focus on the breathing, notice if the breath is fast or slow and try to allow the breath to flow naturally.

If someone in the office is causing you some problem, try to step back and look at the situation from his or her own side. We all want to be happy, none of us want stress and conflict At least we have this in common.

Meditation 2.

Visualisation meditation Visualisation meditation uses our mind’s eye to picture an object or scenario.

Athletes use visualisation in their training sessions to imagine winning. Research has shown this to be a very effective tool. We very often have ‘negative visualisation’ that reinforces the habit to see everything as negative. The power of visualisation is therefore extremely strong, but used in a positive way it can help us to achieve our goals and see beyond our normal narrow perspective.

Visualisation meditation is also used to increase the power of concentration.

Normally our mind tends to scatter from one thought to another, the ability to concentrate allows us to focus on the present moment with clarity.

Initially one can use anything as the object of visualisation but it is best to have an actual object or picture. Chose something pleasant to look at such as a flower or open landscape. It should not be too complicated.

Firstly sit on a chair or cross-legged as in the breathing meditation posture. For the first 3-5 minutes practice the breathing meditation as described in meditation 1.

Once the mind is settled and relatively calm, sit and look at the object to be visualised such as a flower or landscape. Look carefully at the object, try to observe each detail as much as possible then close your eyes and try to imagine a mental image of the object. At first this may well be difficult, as the object will come in and out of focus. Alternate between the real image and closing your eyes and imagining the mental image.

Do not worry too much initially if you cannot hold the image, it will take a lot of practice to gain any stability. At first try to see something, even if it is just a shape or colour. With practice the image will become clearer.

Once the object of visualisation has been chosen then it is better not alter the image at all. Do not change the image, its colour or shape, this is important. If the image keeps being changed in favour of another then no stability will arise.

Practice this technique for several minutes at a time until there is at least a level of clarity. This may take some time but it is very important not too get frustrated when the image is not clear, it is the habit of the mind to be distracted but with time and practice Once you have become accustomed to the practice you can use visualisation to develop several objectives.

Busy mind – if you suffer from an overactive mind and find yourself unable to concentrate then visualisation of a wide-open space, especially a mountain vista or ocean view can help to pacify the mind. You can use a photograph initially and using the same technique as shown above switch between the actual picture and the mental image. Once you have a good mental image of the photograph stay with the visualisation for as long as you can.

Projects – If you have set yourself a particular project such winning a contract, applying for a job or studying for a course, you can visualise a positive outcome.

Imagine yourself winning the contract or obtaining a qualification and rest in that visualisation every day until you have completed your objective. This does not always mean of course that visualisation will guarantee success, but it will set the

correct mindset to enable you to have a positive outlook and give you the best possible chance.

Objectives – Another way to use visualisation is to clarify an objective. Sometimes it is difficult to identify clearly what your specific objective may be, especially in work.

This technique is very useful to ascertain a clear objective: Technique Sit in a chair or cross-legged as shown in the breathing meditation technique. For 3-4 minutes clear the mind using the breathing technique.

Visualise that you are sitting on a beach, in front of you is a wide expanse of clear still water, like a still lake in summertime. The sky is clear and blue. Surrounding you on the beach are many smooth pebbles. The air is warm on your face and you are alone.

Pick up a pebble in your hand, feel its smoothness and softness. As you look closer at the pebble you will see there is writing on the pebble. The writing is quite clear and says, ‘What is my objective.’ (You can also substitute objective for intention) You look at the pebble for some time contemplating the writing.

You now throw the pebble high into the sky and as if in slow-motion the pebble tumbles through the air in a wide arc and lands into the still water. As the pebble hits the water ripples glide out gently in waves.

You see the pebble as it hits the water and then continue to watch as it gracefully and gently falls to through the crystal clear water down and down towards the bottom of the lake.

As you watch the pebble fall you can still see the writing, “what is my objective/intention” Eventually the pebble rests on the bottom of the lake and as you continue to look you see that the writing has now changed to show you very clearly what your objective/intention has become.

Sit with this visualisation for several minutes and reinforce your objective or intention.

Every day remind yourself of this intention or objective. It could be to become calmer, kinder, less agitated, or simply to become more focused and clear. Begin each morning by reminding your self of this intention.

Visualisation for health – we shall discuss health meditation later but again you can utilise the power of visualisation to enhance health of your self and others. This will be discussed in more depth in section 5 Healing Meditation.

Meditation 3.

Walking meditation Walking Meditation is an excellent practice for beginners of Meditation. It is easy to practice, and enhances physical, mental and spiritual well-being. It is especially effective for those who find it difficult to sit still for long periods of time. Some people enjoy practicing in a beautiful outdoor setting, like a park. Others prefer to practice indoors, due to poor weather, or desire for privacy.

Walking Meditation should generally be practiced for between 15 minutes to 20 minutes initially but can be extended to an hour.

A 10-minute walking meditation can also be used as a break between two sitting meditations.

You can practice indoors by walking around the perimeter of your largest room. If you practice outdoors choose a scenic and quiet setting. Walk without a destination.

Wander aimlessly without arriving, being somewhere rather than going somewhere.

Technique Begin the practice by calming the mind using the breathing technique for 3-5 minutes. This can be done whilst standing still with the arms at your side.

Start out walking a little faster than normal, and gradually slow down to a normal walking speed, and then continue to slow down until you start to feel artificial or off balance. Speed up just enough to feel comfortable, physically and psychologically. At first you may need to walk fairly fast to feel smooth in your gait, but with practice, as your balance improves, you should be able to walk more slowly.

Be mindful of your breathing, without trying to control it. Allow the breath to come from the diaphragm if possible, but always make sure your breathing feels natural, not artificial. Allow the breath to become circular, and fluid.

Walk with 'soft vision' allowing the eyes to relax and focus upon nothing, while aware of everything. Smile softly with your eyes and gradually allow the smile to spread from your eyes to your face and throughout your body. Let all worry and sadness fall away from you as you walk.

Walk in silence, both internal and external.

Be mindful of your walking, make each step a gesture, so that you move in a state of grace, and each footprint is an impression of the peace and love you feel for the universe. Walk with slow, small, deliberate, balanced, graceful footsteps.

After a while, when both the breath and the walking have slipped into a regular pattern of their own accord, become aware of the number of footsteps per breath.

Make no effort to change the breath, rather lengthen or shorten the rhythm of your step just enough so that you have 2, 3 or 4 steps per inhalation and 2, 3 or 4 steps per exhalation. Once you have discovered your natural rhythm, lock into it, so that the rhythm of the walking sets the rhythm for the breath like a metronome.

After several weeks of regular practice you may experiment with the ratios adding a footstep to your exhalation and later to your inhalation as well. Whatever ratio of steps-to-breath that you settle on, it should feel comfortable, and you should be able to maintain it for the duration of the meditation comfortably. After several months you may find your lung capacity improving.

If you are comfortable, lengthen your breath an extra step but avoid trying to slow the breath too much or you will do more harm than good. Notice the beauty of your surroundings, both externally and internally. Smile with every cell in your body.

Meditation 4.

Relaxation meditation

Many people associate relaxation with meditation. Whilst this is not the main purpose of meditation, you can utilise the technique shown below to become more relaxed especially before sleep at night. This practice calms the mind and prepares you for rest.

Begin with the breathing meditation and practice this for 3-4 minutes to calm the mind.

Technique: You can do this meditation in bed, make sure you lie flat with your arms at your side and that your legs are straight not crossed. Make sure your head is comfortable and flat then begin by calming the mind using the breathing technique for 3-5 minutes.

Starting at the top of the head place your attention on the crown of the head, notice any sensation on the top of the head and especially the scalp, imagine that you can relax the skin covering the scalp area. Then gradually shift your attention to the neck area, notice any tension in the neck muscles, make slight adjustments to the head so that the head is balanced on the spine, if there are areas of tension in the neck then tighten those muscles then relax them.

Shift the attention once more to the shoulders and again be aware of tension in the shoulders and shoulder blade area, relaxing the tension where necessary. Bring the awareness down to the upper arms, relaxing the muscles completely. Move down to the lower arm, wrists and hands again fully relaxing the arms, wrists and hands, even down to the fingertips.

Move the attention down the spine and become aware of any tightness in the back muscles. These are some of the largest muscle groups of the body so pay particular attention to this area and relax tension where you notice discomfort.

Note: Whilst doing this practice make sure that you are not judgmental in any way. Even if you experience some discomfort or pain, simply register this as “discomfort” or “pain” try not to focus on the exaggerated thoughts of pleasant or unpleasant simply observe what you experience rather than engaging in the inner dialogue, which can cause even more tension.

Now move the attention to the chest, notice your breathing, the rise and fall of the diaphragm, relax any tension and make sure your breathing is natural and unforced.

Slowly move to the abdomen and observe sensation in this area relaxing any tension.

Bring the attention to the hips; make slight adjustments to align the hips to the spine in a straight line all the time relaxing muscle groups. Move down the upper legs, relaxing the muscles as you move down to the knees and lower legs, ankles and feet and toes.

Now reverse the entire process starting at the toes and working your way back up the lower legs, knees, upper legs, hips, up the spine. Move to the abdomen, chest, fingers, hands, and wrists, lower and upper arms to the shoulders. Then finally back to the neck and head and finally to the crown of the head. All the time scanning for areas of tension and relaxing those areas where possible.

End the meditation again by focusing on the breath for 2-3 minutes. This is a very relaxing technique and will enable you to achieve a good nights rest.

Using this meditation to relax before sleeping establishes conditions to gain a good night’s sleep. If the mind is too active then sleep is difficult. Therefore do not watch any violent or high action movie just before bedtime as this over stimulates the mind.

Sit or lie down with a straight back and focus on the breathing for 5-10 minutes before sleeping. Again using this relaxation meditation relaxes the entire body using the scanning method above. This will enable you to free the mind from the daily clutter and allow for a restful sleep.

Meditation 5.

Meditation for Health This practice uses visualisation technique and can be used if you are sick or suffering from pain. Studies have shown that recovery from sickness can be prolonged if the mental attitude is negative. A positive attitude is therefore imperative in the recovery process. Stress affects the immune system in an adverse way and by reducing stress and developing a positive compassionate attitude the immune system can be strengthened thereby enhancing the effectiveness of treatment and the healing process.

For those suffering long-term pain, this meditation can be very helpful. Focusing on pain and ten entering into the inner dialogue of how bad it is, how painful, etc. actually exacerbates the pain itself and gives it more power. A recent study referred in the USA showed that just 1 hour of meditation each day can reduce pain by up to 50% Technique for Pain Begin the meditation by using the breathing technique to calm the mind for 3-5 minutes.

Once the mind is calm visualise your body using your imagination. Visualise the body as almost transparent, lit has no weight and is made of light. Look at the skin, the muscles and bones of the body, imagine the organs, the blood vessels even the individual cells of the body. Everything is transparent and has no weight. Stay with this image of the body for a while.

Gradually bring your attention to the area where the pain exists. It is important to reduce the inner dialogue associated with the pain, such as: this is so bad, this hurts so much, or, why is this happening to me.

Look at the area of pain, visualise what the pain looks like, does it have shape, colour or size and without judgement try to focus on the exact location of the pain, where is the pain located? Visualise the area where the pain exists for example if it is a sore ankle then visualise the bones of the ankle, the muscle groups (it does not matter if this is not anatomically correct) then begin by visualising the muscles actually relaxing around the joint, if there is swelling imagine the swelling actually reducing. The visualisation is still showing the body to be transparent, lightweight and made of light.

You can apply this technique to any area of pain, the important factor is not to focus on the sensation of pain in terms of how bad it is, simply observing the pain without judgment removes its power.

Using visualisation expand the awareness to the entire body, seeing the body as relaxed and free of tension. End the session using the relaxation method shown earlier.

Technique for ill-health There are many specific meditation practices for healing and sickness. One in particular that can also be used for ill health is called Tonglen meditation.

Tonglen Meditation, which means 'Taking & Giving' in Tibetan, is a special healing practice, with an emphasis on the breath. Tonglen Meditation enables a person to take in the 'negative' aspects or energies of life, transform this energy into a useful purpose (destroying one's selfish ego) and then give out positive healing energy and it is an effective practice to help others who are sick as well as oneself.

Tonglen is a meditation done in conjunction with one's breathing, and in relation to oneself as well as others such as your parents or friends and ultimately to every living being.

1) TAKING: Begin by representing whatever you feel is negative as black smoke.

Simply imagine, sense or pretend that there is a cloud of black smoke in front of you.

Begin to inhale this cloud of black smoke through your nostrils. Imagine the smoke entering into your body and settling at the area of your heart chakra. Pause your breath there for a moment as you allow that energy to destroy negative health or your own self-cherishing ego!

2) GIVING: Now slowly and gently exhale pure white wisdom light through your mouth. You could if you wish imagine beautiful rays of white light radiating from your body. You are giving away all that is pure healthy and positive. As you exhale imagine the white light is healing all negative emotions and unhappiness even sickness.

3) REJOICING: As you're exhaling allow yourself to feel joy at practicing giving peace and happiness to others. Pause for a moment at the end of the breath and indulge in it!

What does this meditation accomplish? Generally, happiness & suffering occur as a result of one's good or bad actions. If someone has done a good action, then naturally from that there will come a result of happiness. That person will receive the result of happiness that cannot be denied him or her. Likewise, suffering occurs as the result of bad actions. If someone has done a bad action then the only result that can be obtained from that is suffering, which cannot be avoided.

In doing this meditation one changes the attitude of seeing oneself as more important than others. The normal attitude that people have is to think that it does not matter if other beings are not happy, it does not matter if others are suffering or sick, but it is important that oneself is happy & free from suffering.

By doing this meditation you can actually relieve your own pain and certainly help others. You can also imagine the light that comes from you as blue. This blue light can be directed at your own illness. As you inhale imagine all the negative sickness entering your own heart as black smoke. Then as you exhale the blue light enters your body at the crown of your head and fills the body with a cleansing light dispelling sickness as black smoke through the pores of your skin. You can also do this meditation for others in the same way. It is very powerful and effective.

Meditation 6 Compassion and kindness

Every one of us responds to kindness, even animals. A dog can be taught to behave using a stick to beat it, but it will become neurotic and stressed when told to do something. Yet the same discipline can be achieved through kindness and compassion and the dog will be calm and happy.

We all like to be around calm individuals and the sense of warmth we experience when someone just holds our hand or talks to us in a loving way is remarkable. The physiological effects are also measurable, our blood pressure decreases, our face relaxes and the tension dissolves throughout our body.

A kind word rather than a harsh reprimand achieves so much more. There is already so much hatred in the world already, we do not need to participate in it or contribute to it. A kind and compassionate nature naturally makes the mind more calm and at ease. The development of kindness is crucial to our own happiness. T is a form of selfish action in one way, not only does this type of mind help others it helps us even more.

Tonglen meditation, which we discussed earlier, is excellent for encouraging a kind and compassionate nature. It trains our mind to be more tolerant and reduces the ego clinging that we all embrace. We all put ourselves first we are the most important people in our lives. This is a selfish viewpoint and encourages pride and an inflated ego.

This strong attachment we all have to ourselves is misguided and does not help us to become relaxed. When we really think about it this all important, “I” is actually very elusive.

Ancient philosophers actually dispute the very existence of an “I” at all. The "I" we imagine to exist is really a collection of body parts and mind. When we go to analyse where this, “I” exists we actually do not find it at all, it is not the bones or skin, or cells or organs. It is not even the mind because the mind is made up from thousands of thoughts; if the “I” were the mind then there must be thousands of "I’s" to represent each thought.

So really this all-important “I” or “ego” is not actually findable at all. We simply construct this I as a label then cling to it as being our very centre of being. This makes us cling very strongly to a self-identity and when we are insulted or praised, the sense of ego is either revolted or becomes proud. Either way this gives rise to an emotional response which then determines an action.

For example, someone praises us for a good job well done. Our sense of pride is inflated and our sense of ego becomes very exaggerated. We then feel superior, better than someone else. Then when we are insulted we feel very hurt, our pride is wounded and our ego damaged, we then react with hatred or jealousy. These are all very disturbing emotions and result in us acting in a way that can also be damaging.

We all feel guilty after we have “lost the plot” and shout at someone. If we had a kinder nature our sense of ego is reduced and we become much more calm.

By examining this “I” or “ego” in meditation we see it for what it really is. A mental construct that we cling to as being very real and concrete.

Develop kindness and compassion in your life, it will reduce the sense of ego and allow a more calm nature to evolve.

Meditation on equanimity To develop compassion we must try to maintain equanimity in our life. Equanimity does not mean that we are cold hearted, quite the opposite. During the course of our

life we form attachments, likes and dislikes, loves and hates, friends and enemies.

We also like to place people into convenient compartments, which often we see as being permanent features rather than changing and inter-dependent situations.

This can easily be seen in relationships, at first we fall in love and everything is wonderful, then over time we see faults, these faults become intolerable and eventually the relationship tears apart causing anger, disappointment and hatred.

This happens all the time. Friends do something to us and become enemies, enemies show us kindness and become friends, and those to whom we were once indifferent become close friends and so on.

Friends, enemies, lovers, divorcees, these are all categories that we exaggerate and can change in the blink of an eye. Therefore developing equanimity enables us to be less turbulent in our lives and to see everyone as being human beings.

Technique Visualise in front of you three persons: at the left a good friend, in the middle a stranger, to the right an enemy or someone you cannot stand.

Concentrate on the friend in front and examine your feelings towards him or her.

Observe the sensations you experience when thinking of this person, how you may have a warm heart or generally relaxed feeling towards them.

Now concentrate on the stranger and examine your feelings towards him or her.

Observe your indifference towards this person, perhaps coldness or a feeling of distance.

Now concentrate on the enemy and examine your feelings towards him or her.

Observe the discomfort that arises, or the stress and tension that occurs.

Now return to the stranger and realise that this person can easily become your friend or enemy in the future.

Next, look at the friend and realise that this person may become your enemy in the future when cheating or hurting you.

Now, look at the enemy and realise that this person may become your friend in the future when helping you.

Again look at your friend and try to strongly feel love and appreciation.

Now look at the stranger and try to hold this feeling towards this person.

Again look at your friend and try to strongly feel love and appreciation.

Now try to hold this feeling while looking at the enemy; is it really impossible to feel some love and compassion for this person? Try to realise that all three, friend, stranger and enemy are completely equal in trying to become happy and trying to avoid suffering.

This meditation will generally allow you to develop compassion for all living beings; everyone simply wants to be happy and not to suffer in any way. Even the smallest insect wants to avoid suffering; in this we have a commonality with every living being.

Therefore try to practice this meditation on a daily basis.

Summary

Meditation and mindfulness allows us to cultivate the causes of happiness and abandon the causes of suffering. Done every day it will transform your life. But like any medicine, it is not good sitting on a shelf; you have to take the medicine for it to work.

Meditate every day even for a few minutes. Be aware of what you are doing and enjoy the moment. Develop a kinder more compassionate nature and at the end of every meditation session wish all living beings a happy life. This will cultivate within you a more caring nature; you are creating new habits that will embellish your life.