pregnancy200906

There’s a new mom in town…

dad!

Today’s fathers are making their own rules —but where do you fit in?

plus

• 5 things HE dOEs BETTER • Dad-approved

GEaR HE’ll lOVE

• 5 great looks right

from His clOsET

Ricki Lake’s best-birth tips

aLso: green cleaners, digital scrapbooking, and cheap getaways

JunE 2009 Vol. 10, No. 6

5 pregnancy myths BUSTED by MythBusters’ kaRi ByRon

T MEN E V D MO R PA O S SEN

June 2009

52

There’s a new mom in town.

His name is “Dad”

Today’s dads know and do way more than their forefathers. We explore how this trend started, why baby’s better off with more dad time, and what you can do to get your partner involved, too.

By Emily Bloch

61

Your no-cost babymoon

67

Pregnancy myths busted!

MythBusters’ Kari Byron shows you how to rock your guy’s duds—hey, they fit and the price is right!—during pregnancy while debunking a few of those wacky old wives’ tales.

Wishing for a getaway but can’t afford a splurge?

You can still escape with your sweetie...and you don’t even have to pack your bags. Give him these instructions for a weekend of pampering mom-to-be at home!

By Jonathon Reynolds On the cover: model: Randy Stanley, Look Model Agency, San Francisco, CA; photographer: Mark Madeo; stylist: Lisa Fremont; hair and makeup: Meaganne McCandess for Artist Untied; clothing (Randy): Converse by John Varvatos Slubbed Polo in Blue Haze, 7 For All Mankind Relaxed Jeans in

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June 2009

Vintage Anguilla; (baby) Dagmar Daley ‘Unmentionables’ Shimmy Top in Natural, Swaddle Designs Cashmere Blanket in Pastel Pink With Ivory Trim.

word of mom 77

5 minutes with...Kari Byron dishes about navigating pregnancy on the hazard-filled MythBusters set.

By Bob Gulla

32

79 Relationships

You’ve got the hard job in this “making a baby” gig and he knows it. How you can use dad’s guilt to your advantage! By Bob Gulla

85 Dad is the new mom Today’s fathers deserve more than crashing an all-girl baby party. It’s time for the “Man Shower!” By Jason Brand

89

Nanny Stella Get moving!

There’s no time to waste before baby comes; here are your marching orders.

By Nanny Stella of Nanny 911

92 Need to know Our team of

must-haves 23 Staff picks Great finds we’d buy ourselves!

28 Styled by...The hottest trends, brought to you by top experts and stylists. This month: perfect gifts for every type of father, by Hillary and Laura from TheCradle.com; a wild nursery, by the MiGi Girls; and practical must-haves for the new dad, by Chris Pegula, Diaper Dude

39 Be well We reveal the real secret to saving your skin from stretch marks.

By Alyson McNutt English

42 Let’s eat The everything-you-

96

There, I said it Every mother should have her best birth, no matter what form it takes. By Ricki Lake

in every issue 6 Pregnancy360.com Where to find the best info, the hippest moms online, plus big giveaways!

8 Editor’s Letter Papa’s got mad skills. By Abigail Tuller

need-to-know guide to preparing a perfect bottle of formula. By Kate Geagan, M.S., R.D.

10 Our Extended Family

46 A green life

birth stories from our readers.

Make your home sparkle safely with an arsenal of nontoxic cleaners. By Anna Getty, Eco Editor

49 The digital mom Digital scrapbooking: less dough, less mess, and less fuss than paper. By Ana Cabrera

4

experts is always on call. Stephen H. Weiss, M.D.; Jill Wodnick, M.A.; and Lisa Dana, M.D.; answer your pregnancy, birth, and child-care questions.

June 2009

12 Real Moms Talk Letters and 14 Mommywood Hot Moms Club guide to celebrity babies.

17 Mommy Blips News, trends, and factoids from the mommysphere.

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Editor’s Letter

Papa’s got mad skills

things I sing every night, in this order: “The Star-Spangled Banner” “You Are My Sunshine” “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” (And, for an occasional encore, “Silent Night”)

As with many first children, Mason always gravitated to his Mama. “I want Mama to dress me.” “I want Mama to read tonight!” My guilty self always assumed this was because I work full-time, depriving him of an ever-present mother and therefore messing him up for life. And my husband, Robert, always took it personally. Eager to help and desperately wanting to show his firstborn the ways of the world, he often ended up feeling defeated and unwanted as Mason inevitably pushed him away, clamoring for my involvement instead.

I remember one particularly late morning we were trying to get out of the house.

Robert was patiently tending to a dawdling Mason, who was on the toilet; I was frantically trying to get dressed. Sent away to “go get Mama” for the wiping part, an exasperated Robert came flying into the bedroom yelling, “I can’t believe I’m begging my child to let me wipe his ass!”

When our second, Rex, was due to arrive, Robert often wondered aloud how he was “supposed to bond with this baby” through all the nursing that more or less cements a mother-child relationship. Then, when Rex was about 8 months old, he surprised us all as his round little infant head and face morphed into an exact replica of his father’s.

From then on, the two of them fell madly in love with each other and have been inseparable ever since. It also helped that four months later Rex was weaned from the breast and Robert became a superstar full-time SAHD (stay at home dad). I happily assumed the role of Rex’s B-team.

These days when I go to wipe Rex, I’m sent away to get Papa because I’m “not fast enough.” In fact, it is with great pride that Robert is summoned for this special duty.

No matter what he’s doing, he stops, smiles to himself, and instantly makes his way to the bathroom to be granted the privilege of tending to his little buddy.

Fortunately Robert and I each have our own special parenting skills that work for both of our children pretty much all the time. Papa, for example, is the supreme tickler, wrestler, and playground-tag player—three activities I gladly bow out of. I, however, maintain the position of household songstress, with a regular bedtime nightclub act, which involves a requested, fixed set list.

It took a while to figure all of this out, but once we did, we discovered the zone. I wish you all the best in finding your zone. The stories you’ll end up with are definitely worth the trial and error!

Abigail Tuller Editor in Chief

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June 2009

Our Extended Family

We asked Paul Banas...

JUNE 2009, Vol. 10, No. 6

What makes a great dad?

“Great dads live in the moment with their kids, because there is no ‘next year’ to be with them at the age they are now and with the needs they have today.

Being a dad is the one responsibility you can’t postpone until tomorrow. “

EDITORIAL EDITOR IN CHIEF Abigail Tuller MANAGING EDITOR Clary Alward SENIOR EDITOR Kendra Smith EDITOR AT LARGE Ziba Kashef ONLINE EDITOR Eve O’Neill EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Jon Phillips editors@pregnancymagazine.com ART ART DIRECTOR Tracie King ASSOCIATE ART DIRECTORS Katrin Auch, Mark Rosenthal PHOTOGRAPHERS Samantha Berg, Mark Madeo

The Advisory Board Paul Banas

Dr. William Camann

Dr. Lisa Dana

SALES AND ADVERTISING VICE PRESIDENT, PUBLISHING DIRECTOR Stacey Levy NATIONAL DIRECTOR OF SALES & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT Debbie Klett debbie@pregnancymagazine.com WEST COAST SALES DIRECTOR Brandie Rushing brandie@pregnancymagazine.com EAST COAST SALES DIRECTOR Summer Stowe summer@pregnancymagazine.com SENIOR MARKETING MANAGER Alison McCreery 650.238.2550 amccreery@futureus.com SALES AND MARKETING AD COORDINATOR Jose Urrutia 650.238.2498 jurrutia@futureus.com PRODUCTION PRODUCTION DIRECTOR Richie Lesovoy SENIOR PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Lewis Lee PRINT ORDER COORDINATOR Linh Chau-Ward

Founder and editor of GreatDad.com and father of two

Kate Geagan, M.S., R.D.

Director of Obstetric Anesthesia at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston and co-author of Easy Labor

Pediatrician at Golden Gate Pediatrics in San Francisco and mother of three

Anna Getty

Dr. Alan Greene

Award-winning dietician and author of Go Green, Get Lean

Holistic lifestyle expert and founder of Pregnancy Awareness Month

Nanny Stella

Dr. Stephen H. Weiss

CONSUMER MARKETING DIRECTOR OF CONSUMER MARKETING Richard McCarthy DIRECTOR, CONSUMER MARKETING OPERATIONS Lisa Radler CIRCULATION MANAGER Stephanie Blake NEWSSTAND DIRECTOR Bill Shewey SR. ONLINE CONSUMER MARKETING MANAGER Jennifer A. Trinkner CUSTOMER SERVICE MANAGER Mike Frassica mfrassica@futureus.com FUTURE US, Inc. 4000 Shoreline Court, Suite 400 South San Francisco, CA 94080 futureus.com

Pediatrician, author of Raising Baby Green, and founder of DrGreene.com

Jill Wodnick, M.A.

PRESIDENT Jonathan Simpson-Bint VICE PRESIDENT/CFO John Sutton VICE PRESIDENT INTERNET DEVELOPMENT Tyson Daugherty GENERAL COUNSEL Charlotte Falla HUMAN RESOURCES DIRECTOR Nancy Durlester DuBois

Pregnancy (ISSN 1540-8485) is published 10 times a year by Future US, Inc, 4000 Shoreline Court, Suite 400, South San Francisco, CA 94080, USA. Newsstand distribution is handled by Time Warner. Future US, Inc. also publishes Maximum PC, Mac|Life, PC Gamer, Official Xbox Magazine, PlayStation: The Official Magazine, Nintendo Power, Guitar World, and Revolver. Entire contents copyright 2008, Future US, Inc. All rights reserved.

Reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited. Future US, Inc., is not affiliated with the companies or products covered in Pregnancy. PRODUCED AND PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Future US, Inc. is part of Future PLC. Future US, Inc. produces carefully targeted special-interest magazines for people who share a passion. We aim to satisfy that passion by creating titles offering value for money, reliable information, and smart buying advice, and that are a pleasure to read. Today we publish more than 100 magazines in the US, UK, and Italy. More than 100 international editions of our magazines are also published in 31 other countries across the world.

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FUTURE PLC 30 Monmouth St., Bath, Avon, BA1 2BW, England thefuturenetwork.plc.uk Tel +44 1225 442244 CHIEF EXECUTIVE Stevie Spring GROUP FINANCE DIRECTOR John Bowman REPRINTS: For reprints, contact Reprint Management Services, 800.494.9051

Celebrity family consultant, author, star of Nanny 911

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June 2009

Asst. Professor, Dept. of Gynecology and Obstetrics, Emory University School of Medicine

Certified doula and prenatal yoga teacher; founder of jillwodnick.com Under suspension of service

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Real Moms Talk

The

digital MOM

Mom talk with Gossip Girl’s Kelly Rutherford

9 easy tech prOjects tO

brace yOurself fOr baby (one for each month!)

plus

10 iphONe apps new moms will love!

7 sanity-saving Nursery gadgets

Kerri Walsh shares her Gold-medal fertility secret NaNcy O’dell: “What I wish I knew when I was pregnant”

May 2009 Vol. 10, No. 5

charlie sheeN and brOOKe Mueller Check out their shower and their nursery!

Just doin’ our job This is my first pregnancy, so I love reading to find out what’s new in fashion, and what toys are good for my baby. I have learned more from your magazine than from my mother and mother-in-law!

Sometimes when I have my “pregnancy moments” and just feel like giving up, I take a warm bath and read your magazine. It helps me remind myself I’m so lucky to be pregnant and have a magazine that helps me. I feel Pregnancy is my best friend with the best advice I can get. It’s my favorite part of my day!

Thank you!

Josephine Saltares Houston

Have a smart pregnancy I love the magazine. I am only four months pregnant with my first child and already feel so educated and prepared for the journey ahead of me…all thanks to the great articles in Pregnancy!

Brooke Weaver Hoover, AL

Letters from our readers

Beauty bargain for you I was pleased to see your article “A Little Bump Worship” extolling the virtues of the belly facial in your March issue. I agree, too, that they can be a special treat at home for mommas, which is why my company Eternal Maternal created Bellyfacial. It’s 100% natural, comes in beautiful Earth-friendly packaging, and includes enough product for three applications for just $23.

I’d like to invite Pregnancy readers to visit our online store, eternalmaternal.com, and get a 15% discount on their purchase. Just enter the code PREGMAG in the discount code box at checkout.

Thanks again for bringing belly facials into the spotlight! Expecting mommies deserve all the at-home pampering they can get!

Karen DeSemple, Owner Eternal Maternal CORRECTION: On p. 17 in our April issue, the photographs of the fetal monitors came to us courtesy of Phillips Healthcare.

Birth story of the month: The overnight shift “My shift ends at 7:00 a.m.,” Sadia said.

“What does that mean?” I asked. My head was cloudy.

“It’s 6:40 a.m. and I leave at 7:00,” Sadia said very calmly. I now understood. I wasn’t happy.

“I just spent nine hours with you. I don’t want to have this baby with another labor and delivery nurse. You’re the best.”“The other nurse will be just as good,” she assured me.

At the beginning of the night, Sadia held my hand when the pain was getting to be too much too handle. She was the one who let me put my head on her shoulder while I

Want to see your name in print? Write and share your opinion!

Or tell us your funniest pregnancy and parenting stories. Send your letters, stories, and photos to letters@pregnancymagazine.com, or Pregnancy

12

June 2009

was getting the epidural. When the epidural kicked in, Sadia laughed at my jokes.

“But she won’t be you.” I stopped speaking because I felt another contraction coming.

My husband, Ira, supported my head and whispered that everything was going to work.

“Push! Push! You can do it, Joanne!” Sadia and the doctor both coached me. I tried as hard as I could, but it was not enough. Once that contraction passed, I looked at Sadia’s sweet sympathetic face, and I knew that I could not have the baby with another nurse.

“No way am I letting you leave without seeing this baby!” I said. “All right,” she told me, “Let’s do it then!”

Ten minutes later, at 6:50 a.m., I pushed one last time for Sadia. Joseph Black arrived into the world. Sadia was able to leave on time, but not before having a chance to hold him.

Joanne Flynn Black Morristown, NJ

magazine, 4000 Shoreline Court, Suite 400, South San Francisco, CA, 94080. Please include your address, email, and phone number. Letters will be edited for clarity and length; photos cannot be returned.

©2009 P&G

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Hot Moms Club guide to celebrity babies

Photos by Jillian Bisinger Modern Photography.

Mommywood

This belly’s the real deal Mom-to-be Amanda Detmer chills with Hot Moms Club for a long-overdue break She had a complicated birth full of physical and personal drama on TV in her much-discussed recurring role on ABC’s Private Practice.

But when Amanda Detmer booked the role of Morgan Gellman, a pregnant patient of Dr. Addison Montgomery, she didn’t yet know that she was actually pregnant! She even wore a prosthetic belly for all her scenes. When she found out, Amanda leaked the news to her stylist and makeup crew on the set. Giggling, she says, “They’re always the first to know everything, and then you can be sure everyone else knows, too.”

Unlike her troubled character—a woman enduring a high-risk pregnancy whose husband is madly in love with her ob/gyn— Amanda’s real life is blissfully free of such drama. Due in July with a baby boy, she’s sailing through her pregnancy without a bit of morning sickness. Her husband, John, has been great about indulging her cravings; “Menchie ice cream with tons of toppings” is her top request, he says.

Recently Amanda spent the day out with Hot Moms Club’s Nat-

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June 2009

alie Klein and Jessica Denay at Spa Luce (spaluce.com), where relaxing massages, facials, manicures, and lots of girl talk were on the agenda. Amanda had been working long hours up until the week before on the set, so we decided a spa day was more than overdue!

With its serene décor and organic products such as Red Flower, Malie Organics, and Sparitual, Spa Luce is a true Hollywood treat!

Take a cue from Amanda and splurge on your own spa day. Pregnancy is the perfect time to treat yourself well and start a relaxation routine. But it’s crucial that the spa you go to has a pregnancy package, as well as a masseuse who’s knowledgeable about maternity massages and the lotions and oils that are safe for a mom-to-be—so be sure to call ahead.

And look for Amanda next season on Private Practice as the drama continues!

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Mommy Blips

News, trends, and factoids

Don’t switch early If you’re like 59% of licensed drivers, according to a survey from GMAC Insurance, you’ve no idea that kids shouldn’t be moved to a forward-facing car seat until they’re at least 1 year old and weigh 20 pounds. That’s right, it’s not an either/or proposition—it’s both.

And you might not have heard that the American Academy of Pediatrics recently upped its car seat safety guidelines to recommend that kids rear-face until age 2; new research shows it’s five times safer. When baby reaches the max for his infant seat, move him to a convertible seat facing backward, and keep him there into toddlerhood.

Wish ish we ented it invented What if—in ving addition giving it a cute your outfit layered look— ou wear that tank you under it all could y tuck in and actually wn your smooth down y? post-baby belly? hat Ta-da! That’s what Yummie Tummie ear does.

Shapewear irst look, At first Yummie Tummie tops aren’t much different than those hanging in your closet. But the secret minimizing panel and the available extra-long cut cleverly hide any hint of a muffin top while you get back to feeling like your pre-baby self. They even have a nursing version. Now the baby on your boob will be the only clue that you’re a new mom. From $62, yummietummie.com

Self-tanner: Is it safe?

OK, lying in the sun to tan is a no-no whether you’re pregnant or not, but does a mom-to-be have to sacrifice her sun-kissed glow entirely?

You’ve probably peered at the label on your sunless tanner and wondered if you should still be slathering it on.

“In general, sunless tanning lotions are safer than tanning beds or actual sun exposure for the mother,” says Alexandra Solosko, M.D., a senior pediatric resident in central Pennsylvania. “During pregnancy, the skin is especially sensitive and may burn more easily.” Significantly raising your temperature by lying in the sun or a tanning bed could also be harmful to baby, she adds. So, if you love to worship the sun and just can’t do without your glow, a sunless tanner might be a good choice for you.

But there’s still no concrete info on the safety of self-tanners for you and baby. Scrutinize the ingredients on your favorite tanner the way you do any other product you apply to your skin. Avoid formulas with potentially harmful ingredients, like parabens, or better yet, check your brand’s safety on cosmeticsdatabase.com. p re g n a n c y 3 6 0.c o m

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Mommy Blips

News, trends, and factoids

Website we can’t live without:

KeepEmCookin.com

Trend watch:

Mommymoons

Almost one million American women are put on bed rest each year, according to keepemcookin.com, our new favorite site. Prescribed for mothers who are at risk of preterm birth, bed rest unfortunately means more than catching up on your Netflix and having someone else do the grocery shopping.

Side effects of bed rest include loss of muscle mass, boredom, frustration, medical complications, and even depression. That’s why keepemcookin.com provides support through education and a community of moms who’ve been through the same ordeal.

There’s plenty of info about the possible causes of preterm labor and ways to prevent and treat symptoms. So if you’re on bed rest, spend your newfound free time reading up—and keeping that baby cookin’.

You named him what?

Sure, the polka-dot outfit was crazy, but we loved watching rapper M.I.A. show off her über-pregnant belly at the Grammy awards earlier this year (she actually performed on her due date!). Then, we were alarmed when rumors began swirling that she had named her newborn son “Ickitt.”

Close. Ikhyd Edgar Arular Bronfman was born February 11 in Los Angeles. Prounounced “ick-hyde,” the name’s

18

June 2009

No diaper changes, no bedtimes, no feedings, no laundry, no daily grind. Sounds like heaven, right? That’s just the idea behind the new trend of all-girl, all-mom getaways, aka “mommymoons.”

Ironically, a mommymoon has nothing to do with being a mommy, and that’s just the point. As fantastic as a weeklong vacation, or as simple as dinner out with friends, this all-girl getaway is about giving yourself a chance to identify with all of the things you loved pre-pregnancy.

One of the most popular activities for the package trip versions of these mommybreaks? “Typically, wine tasting,” says Claudia Schou, representative for Paris Perfect, a vacation rental service in Paris that offers a “Girlfriends Getaway” specifically for women seeking to spend time with their best gal pals and take a break from being mom.

In addition to staying in one of Paris Perfect’s chic apartments on the Left Bank, the package includes all the things girls like to do, Schou says. “There’s an appointment at a very upscale salon in Paris; there are tickets for a cruise on the river Seine; and they also have a really nice wine lunch planned. Of course, there’s also a little gift basket included with chocolate, pampering items, and other girlie things.”

Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself. After all, it’s only a matter of time before the “daddymoon” becomes all the rage.

meaning is still a mystery. “Arular” is the moniker M.I.A’s father adopted after becoming a political activist in his native Sri Lanka.

M.I.A (whose real first name is Mathangi, a Hindi name referring to the patron of inner thought, says The Complete Book of Baby Names) blogged about her choice of name on MySpace, saying “My baby is not called Ickitt, Pickit, or Lickit, thank you very much….” But it’s not hard to see where all the confusion came from!

Mommy Blips

News, trends, and factoids

Dad

Mompreneurs of the month:

John Brosseau and Scott Shoemaker, DadGear (dadgear.com)

Celebrity bump watch

One day over bar food, DadGear founders Scott Shoemaker and John Brosseau started talking about how they couldn’t find parenting gear that reflected their style—instead of their wives’.

Eventually, they developed the idea for their company, which makes baby gear designed by dads, for dads, including the famous diaper vest—an ordinary-looking fleece vest accessorized with the perfect pockets for diapers and wipes. The birth of Carson, Shoemaker’s now 6-year-old son, was the inspiration for the company.

“I was always complaining about all the stuff I had to carry,” Shoemaker says.

Their genius design originally came from activities the two friends enjoy in their spare time. “We’re pretty outdoorsy people,” Shoemaker says, “and the diaper vest idea came to us as a fly-fishing vest/let’s-go-hiking vest. We literally went and bought some Columbia and North Face–style jackets, and John and I went into what my wife called ‘mad scientist mode’ down in the basement. In the end, I think we had 17 versions of the vest that we had Frankensteined together.”

Founded in December of 2003, DadGear is entering its sixth year of business with big plans for the future. Shoemaker says, “We’re not a flash in the pan, we’re going to be a stronghold.”

who plays Natalia Rivera on daytime soap Guiding Light, is expecting and due this June. We love her darling pregnancy style, which she says is all about “upping the cuteness factor.”

“I’m into things that are form-fitting right now,” Leccia adds. “After a winter of frumpy sweaters, George DeSota / jpistudios.com

“There was no way I was going to carry my wife’s diaper bag, it just wasn’t going to happen.”

Actress Jessica Leccia,

I’m looking for the skinniest jeans possible.”

Some of her favorites include 7 For All Mankind and True Religion maternity jeans, both of

which she splurged on at A Pea in the Pod. “When you gain 30 pounds out of nowhere, you need all the help you can get. I can’t wait for summer dresses!”

Who knew?

More babies were born in the United States in 2007 than any other year in U.S. history.

The 4,317,119 births reported topped the existing record, set 50 years earlier.

SOURCE:

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June 2009

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.

New in 2009 • Superior side impact protection • Rear-facing or forward-facing • 5 to 80 lbs in a 5-point harness • Steel alloy frame • Memory foam for comfort • Folds flat for travel

• Booster expands in height and width • For children up to 120 lbs and 63” in height • Deep side impact protection • Can be used as a backless booster • LATCH compatible • Dual cup holders • 2 recline positions

Available nationwide at independent baby stores. For additional information and to see our full line of car seats and travel accessories, visit skjp.com

TM

BellaBand Organic Laura: 25 weeks The BellaBand, pulled up over her belly, holds up too-loose maternity jeans and supports her growing belly.

Saam: 32 weeks The BellaBand keeps her pants up when her belly pushes them down.

Stephanie: postpartum The BellaBand helps with too-big maternity and still-tight prepregnancy pants.

Amber: 18 weeks With the BellaBand folded under her belly, she still wears her favorite pre-pregnancy jeans...unbuttoned!

US Patent 7,181,775. © 2008 Ingrid & Isabel.

Just slip this little number on at your waist, over your unbuttoned pre-pregnancy jeans or too-loose maternity styles.

Instant hold. Instant comfort. Instantly smooth.

More wear out of the clothes you already have means less consumption.

Organic Cotton means earth-friendly.

Sustainability and better-fitting clothes?

Now that’s a beautiful idea.

®

Yes, you look beautiful.

Visit www.ingridandisabel.com for our full collection: Everyday and Lace BellaBands, Everyday Cami, Ruched Tank, Everywear Pant, and Belly Leggings.

Must-Haves

Staff picks

A little baby luxe Times are tough, which is all the more reason to choose your splurges carefully. We deem these quality classics worth the extra coin

Yes, cashmere for baby…and, of course, cashmere for you since you’ll be attached at the hip for a year or two. Swaddle Designs Luxury Collection Cashmere Baby Blanket in Pastel Pink With Ivory Trim, $200, bunnyburybaby.com

Sometimes nothing but gold will do. This opulent rattle’s soothing 16-tone chime is guaranteed to never get on your nerves. Harmony Ball Single Sphere Rattle With Loop Handle in German Silver With 14k Gold Overlay, $130, cocoacrayon.com

This gorgeous stainless-steel rattle can be chilled to soothe a teething babe—we love it when form and function come together so stylishly. Baby Nambé Baby Rattle Designed by Sean O’Hara, $50, nambe.com

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Must-Haves

Staff picks

Is it over yet?

“Don’t get me started on how bad my skin has been during this pregnancy. I don’t know what I would’ve done without the “Zit Zapper,” as we call it around here. I heart it—I really do.” ThermaClear Device, $150, thermaclear.com

A few final recommendations from Art Director Tracie King before she goes on her muchdeserved maternity leave “Like all moms, I have my low moments, but nothing cheers me up faster than reading about other insane households. This book brings a guaranteed chuckle and a quick fix for the I’m-a-bad-mom blues.” True Mom Confessions: Real Moms Get Real, by Romi Lassally, $14, penguin.com

“I’m about to pop and this is the only top that doesn’t make me feel like a stuffed sausage. It’s super soft, stretchy, and I actually feel great in it!” Fit2Bmom Roundneck Tee, $49, fit2bmom.com

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June 2009

“I’m more of a texter than a thank you– note writer, but these fun, not-too-cutsie designs make me want to go all old school…with an actual pen.”

Paper Shouts Thank You Cards in Teal and Black Pirate, $1.70 each, papershouts.com

Automated Processing

Only $1,295

First Year of Storage

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The

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NeoCellsTM gives you the best choice in quality, technology and value And NeoCellsTM uses the top automated processing systems for higher quality and quantity of collected stem cells, over manual collection methods

NeoCells™ Setting the Standard in Cord Blood Stem Cell Banking CATEGORY

NEOCELLS

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Price

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Most $125

Use of CPD liquid anticoagulant collection bag (no heparin content)

YES

Some NO

Sterile kit for c-sections

YES

Many YES

AXP AUTOMATED processing system by Thermogenesis/GE Healthcare*

YES, as well as the Sepax functionally closed bag specimen processing system

Most NO

IATA approved AND independent laboratory tested cord blood UmbiliCord™ collection kit**

YES

NO

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CLIA, CAP, FDA, AABB1, NY, NJ and CA

Many NO

ContaCt neoCellS For PeaCe oF Mind that no inSuranCe CoMPany Can ever Provide

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*The AXP AutoXpress and Sepax Processing Systems are functionally closed bag stem cell processing systems operated under suggested processing methods contained in FDA and AABB guidelines. Research has shown higher total mononuclear cell recovery averages and higher yields for viable CD34+ cells using these systems.

Mononucleated cell recovery rates of up to 97% are achievable vs. alternative manual methods which yield only 40%-80%. CD34+ cell recovery is up to 99.3%. **To insure safe transport of your newborn’s precious cord blood specimen, NeoCells pioneered the development and introduction of proprietary UmbiliCordTM Collection Kit Packaging as the only packaging certified by an independent laboratory to meet the UN 3373 Diagnostic Specimen transportation requirements as called for under applicable drop tests, vibration tests, internal pressure and temperature tests, as described in the International Air Transport Association (IATA), Dangerous Goods Regulation, 45 Edition, 2004, and Code of Federal Regulations Title 49, Transportation.

1

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A subsidiary of ViviCells International, Inc.

Must-Haves

Staff picks

All about the boys For her two sons —and herself !— Editor in Chief Abbie Tuller loves items that are timeless, useful, and simple

“My boys play with their dad’s old toys a lot (God forbid he throw anything out), so I love decorating with a retro feel.”

Retro Toys Baby Bedding, $558, poshtots.com

“I’m not a big jewelry gal, but this simple, durable design makes this ring a perfect right-hand complement to my wedding band. Plus, it makes me smile.” Carved Creations LifeNames Ring in Platanium™ stainless steel, $170, ccforlife.com

“These stickers are cheerful without being too babyish. We have them in red, green, and yellow, zooming across their wall.” dVider Kids 12 removable wall sticker (33˝ W x 15˝ H) in Red, $27, store.dvider.com

“My motto is ‘make do with what you have,’ so I turned our useful (but unsightly) metal shelf into an adorable toy holder.” Under the Big Top Storage Tent in Green, $119, landofnod.com

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June 2009

“I have no time to fill baby books; it’s one of my biggest sources of mom-guilt. Cute fill-inthe-blanks like this tell me that I can have a life and document the Hallmark moments.” Rag & Bone Twelve Wishes for Baby Book in Yellow Robots, $29, ragandbonebindery.com

Registering is as easy as 1-2-3!

Join Baby Depot’s National Baby Registry at Burlington Coat Factory.

You can register at more than 320 locations nationwide, or online at babydepot.com. Registering is fast, easy, and free! Once you are registered, you can direct your friends and family to any of our Baby Depot locations to shop for gifts for you and your little one.

Baby Depot features the best baby brands at the guaranteed lowest prices.* That means that you can get what you want, at the prices you love, on everything for your baby. And it means that your friends and family are going to save money, too!

Visit BabyDepot.com or call 1-800-444-2628 for the location nearest you.

STROLLERS • CAR SEATS • FURNITURE SAFETY GEAR • FEEDING ACCESSORIES INFANT BEDDING

CLOTHING • TOYS

BOUNCERS • SWINGS • HIGH CHAIRS

10% Off

Any Single Regularly Priced Baby Depot Item

Valid through 7/4/09. One coupon per customer. Coupon must be presented at time of purchase. Not valid toward prior purchases, gift cards or on layaway payments. Valid on Baby Depot merchandise only, other departments excluded Cannot be combined with any other percentage or dollar off promotional offer, coupon or employee discount. Employees not eligible.

Copies not accepted. Additional coupons not available in stores Discount and/or the value of a promotional item or gift card is applied on a prorated basis to all qualifying items purchased; any applicable refunds will be given in the prorated amount.

(Cashier – Scan Item; Ring MKDN%)

*Low Price Guarantee: If you find a lower price on the exact item at a competitor, notify Baby Depot as to the item, the price and the store. Once we substantiate the price, we will offer you the same item at a lower price. Floor samples and irregular merchandise not included.

Must-Haves

Styled by The Cradle

Go ahead, make his day Whether he’s a guy’s guy or a gadget geek, these gifts can’t lose this Father’s Day

Hilary Zalon is the founder of The Cradle (thecradle.com), a stylish and fun pregnancy website and social community.

Laurie Grossman is The Cradle’s content director, as well as the arbiter of “crushworthiness” for its blog, The Cradle Crush.

Laurie: “With a baby and a toddler, mornings start early in our household. Might as well make a 6 a.m. wake-up more comfortable with a cozy robe. I love that this one is made of 100% sustainable organic cotton. Everyone will want to snuggle up to daddy.” Under the Canopy Hooded Organic Cotton Robe, $100, redenvelope.com

Laurie: “Dads need a night out with the boys. For my husband, that means hosting a bi-weekly poker game in his ‘man room’ (aka our garage). This set will make them feel a bit more pro, even though he and his pals may be playing among tools, boxes, and bikes.” Aluminum Poker Set, $45, elitepokerchips.com

Hilary: “We’re expecting our second daughter in June and don’t want her to suffer from ‘second-child syndrome’ (10 times more photos and videos of the first child than the second). I know this mini video camera would be the perfect addition to our collection of multimedia devices.” Creative Vado Pocket Video Cam in Silver, $100, creative.com

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June 2009

Must-Haves

Styled by The Cradle

Tip: Still stumped for a Father’s Day gift? Ask him to tell you his perfect day with the family, then try to make it happen.

Hilary: “OK, this gift might be more for me than for my husband, considering that he can actually play a real guitar. I just wish I could! But with this game, we could jam together like he did as a teenager in New Jersey.” Rock Band 2 for Nintendo Wii, $50, rockbandstore.com

Laurie: “We love riding our bikes to the farmer’s market because it’s both fun and eco-friendly. Since we recently added a new baby to our family, we’ll soon need to add a new seat to his bike, and there’s something so fabulous and funky about this design.” iBert Safe-T-Seat, $95, ibertinc.com

Hilary: “I bought my husband a remotecontrol helicopter for the holidays. I never saw him act so giddy. He said it was—and I quote—the best gift I’d ever gotten him.

Unfortunately, one of the blades broke when he was playing with it in the house.

(Won’t these boys ever learn?) At this price, I can afford to replace it for Father’s Day.” ThinkGeek Dark Blade R/C Helicopter, $30, thinkgeek.com

Special Advertising Section

DELIVERY IN STYLE Gownies wnies – fun and practical ery gowns. Perfect fit, stylish delivery and simply just yours! And get this – snaps in the back and ont for total coverage, medical front aminations and breastfeeding. examinations www.babybeminematernity.com .babybeminematernity.com

Fabric detail

YOUR BABY’S FIRST SET OF HEADPHONES Yes, parents report, their young children REMEMBER hearing sounds while in their mother’s womb. Moms-to-be can now be in control of what their baby listens to. More and more expectant parents are using bulky headphones on their belly to play soothing music and relaxation sounds to their baby inutero. With Bellysonic Speaker Pouch, mom and baby can now share these special moments in comfort and joy. A well rested mom is a happy baby.

Made in USA of Organic Sherpa Cotton. MP3 & CD player compatible. www.bellysonic.com/special

BURPIEBLOCKER® BABY BURP CLOTHS

Introducing a burp cloth that doesn’t fall off your shoulder! BurpieBlocker® features an elasticized strap to comfortably hold it in place while in use.

Perfect for experienced and new moms alike, BurpieBlocker® makes a great gift. 10% off all orders. Use code Preg10 at checkout.

www.burpieblocker.com what’s kickin’

Special Advertising Section

Milk Saver

Simply slip a milk-saver into your bra-cup on the non-nursing side before you breastfeed.

Save every drop.

PHOTO BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENTS

SHOWER INVITATIONS

BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENTS

THANK YOU CARDS

to learn more visit

www.mymilkies.com Pregnancy360.com

Must-Haves

Styled by The MiGi Girls

Survival of the cutest!

We’re wild about animal-themed nurseries, especially when given a mod makeover

Know as “The MiGi Girls,” Michele Adams and Gia Russo bring their charm and fresh style to everyday living through TV shows, books, and products at migistyle.com.

Place favorite flash cards in affordable frames for easy wall art. The Land of Nod A is for Armadillo Cards, $29, landofnod.com Gotta love a bright shade, especially when it’s eco-friendly. Mythic Paint Interior Eggshell in Wild Garden, $46 per gallon, mythicpaint.com for stores

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June 2009

More to see on page 34!

perb style, u S ace of min e P d an d a

und inve So stment

Tuscany 4 in 1 Crib Shown in Cherry Finish

Please visit our website to locate a dealer near you.

www.sorellefurniture.com 201-531-1919

Must-Haves

Styled by The MiGi Girls

Classic animals and letters blend with trendy polka dots in this colorful, 100% cotton set. MiGi Alphabet 4-Piece Crib Bedding Set, $180, migistyle.com Petit Collage Jungle Friends Mobile, $76, velocityartanddesign.com

Go for a solid, classic style—this one’s made in the United States—in a less expected finish. The Land of Nod Straight-Up Crib in Espresso, $600, landofnod.com

Sozo Tiger Babies Swaddle 2-Piece Set, $20, target.com

This soft, whimsically patterned rug from the hip store is ideal for a nursery.

Anthropologie Dream Menagerie Rug, $78 for 2.5 foot round, anthropologie.com

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June 2009

Starbright Baby Organic Giraffe Teething Toy, $18, craftsburykids.com

Must-Haves

Styled by Diaper Dude

Dude up for baby Fatherhood is one of the biggest changes in a man’s life.

Take this dadpreneur’s advice so your partner will be prepared!

“Come on, matching anything for dads and kids is just priceless! I have matching hats for my two sons and me, and we wear them all summer long.” Goorin Brothers Hats Oliver and Buster, $38 and $25, goorin.com

“The Baby Björn helps make everyday life easier for parents and kids alike, and it’s made with outstanding quality, safety, and style. This one features cool fabrics that make it an even more comfortable ride for baby.” Baby Björn Air Baby Carrier in Gray, $100, csnbaby.com

“Simply put, the absolutely coolest diaper bag out there for dads who don’t want to carry around their wife’s frilly pink bag with bows on it.”

Diaper Dude in Red, $60, diaperdude.com

“This is the Rolls Royce of strollers and a necessity for every dad. Your wife will be stoked you’re getting so much fresh air with Junior, and the girl behind the counter at Starbucks will be impressed.” Bugaboo Bee in Red, $530, buybuybaby.com

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June 2009

Chris Pegula, the founder of Diaper Dude, created the original bag for dad that has both functionality and style. He continues to crank out musthave gear as well as offer up much-needed dad advice.

Use BabyPlus® now, be thankful later.

Have a calmer, happier, brighter baby The BabyPlus® Prenatal Education System® offers parents the opportunity to give their baby a head start on early learning.

A recent survey of BabyPlus parents show their babies were:

Began sleeping 6 + hours Bp Babies avg Babies 0

1 2 3 4 Number of months

80% of BabyPlus parents consider their baby a good sleeper.

• 96% Alert at Birth • 83% Calm at Birth • 72% Nursed at Birth

First Word Bp Babies Before 6 months

97% BabyPlus parents would recommend to a friend

avg Babies

75%

9 months 0

1

2

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9

10

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Must-Haves

Be well

Stretch mark survival guide The key to beating stretch marks? Surprise! It’s stretching the skin Pregnancy can really do a body good: glowing skin; thick, shiny hair; and a bustier bosom are all physical perks that we love to flaunt while carrying baby. But the byproducts of having a bun in the oven aren’t all good news. And while swollen ankles and extra weight are temporary, stretch marks can be forever.

Those squiggly pink lines sprout when the collagen and elastin fibers in your skin break, which usually occurs during periods of rapid weight gain, says Beverly Hills–based dermatologist Zein Obagi, M.D. “When the body mass increases, the skin stretches,” Obagi explains. “In certain people, the skin stretching will cause fractures or ruptures between the collagen fibers that can leave gaps. These gaps are what we call stretch marks.”

If your mother and sister were spared these stripes when they were pregnant, you’re more likely to avoid them, too. The skin’s ability to stretch without fiber breakage does seem to have some genetic basis, Obagi says. On the other hand, just because you helped your mom earn her pregnancy stripes doesn’t mean you’re doomed to follow in her footsteps.

By Alyson McNutt English

Skin fibers, like muscle fibers, are more likely to break when they’re pulled too far too quickly. So just as you stretch your muscles before a run, you need to stretch your skin to prep for your baby-growing sprint. (You’ve likely heard of a similar technique to prep a more private area of your pregnancy body for delivery.)

For this skin-stretching massage, Obagi recommends choosing a lotion or oil that’s safe for pregnant women, then massaging the areas most likely to develop stretch marks—the belly, hips, and breasts—by gently pulling the skin, then allowing it to retract, and repeating this process over these delicate areas regularly throughout your pregnancy. That way, when your baby packs on pounds in the final weeks of gestation, you’re more likely to finish your pregnancy stripe-free. For our product picks for before and after baby, turn the page.

Alyson McNutt English developed stretch marks from chest to hips when she was pregnant, but she’s OK with it—she was never much of a bikini person anyway. She’s also written for Conceive and Kiwi magazines. p re g n a n c y 3 6 0.c o m

39

Must-Haves

Be well

Creams for before and after PRE:

POST: If you do get stretch marks, you can topically treat them with these clinical creams after baby arrives. Other treatment options include laser resurfacing and dermabrasion.

From left: A mother who wanted to massage and strengthen her

From left: It’s gotten fame as a wrinkle reducer, but was originally made for stretch marks. Research says it reduced their appearance in 93% of users. And you can always try it on your face, too.

StriVectin-SD, $135, strivectin.com

There’s no magic cream to prevent stretch marks, but you can help your skin out by massaging and stretching it with these safe salves during pregnancy.

skin without the not-so-great ingredients in traditional lotions created this combo of organic, food-based oils. Muti Expecting Organic Stretch Mark & Massage Oil, $20, mutioils.com Not only is this cream great for massaging stretched bellies and breasts, it’s also recommended for sunburns, cracked nipples, and even your hair. Ande Super 16 Creme, $10, andecosmetics.com Every ingredient in this oil is screened for safety during pregnancy.

And it works: A clinical trial showed a 39% reduction in the chance of developing stretch marks. Belli Elasticity Belly Oil, $42, belliskincare.com

Tip: Vitamin A’s a super skin booster, but it can be harmful to the baby if used while pregnant. Check labels for “retinol” and “retinyl palmitate” to be sure your choices are safe.

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June 2009

No Vitamin A in this one, but its combination of extracts from blackthorn blossoms, birch leaves, and sunflower seeds replenishes, soothes, and tones stretch-marked skin. Plus, it smells fantastic!

Dr. Hauschka Skin Care Blackthorn Body Oil, $29, drhauschka.com Designed by Obagi’s own skin-care company, this lotion features anti-oxidants that stimulate new skin cells and can reduce the appearance and rough texture of stretch marks.

ZO Skin Health Oraser Body Emulsion, $80, zoskinhealth.com/shop

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Robert Sears

10:32 p.m. A family is born.

10:41 p.m. A future is protected.

One of America’s leading pediatricians answers a question on every expectant parent’s mind.

Ask Dr.Sears

Should I bank my baby’s cord blood?

I strongly recommend cord blood banking to my patients. Using your own family’s cord blood has been shown to significantly improve medical outcomes compared to using cord blood from someone outside your family.

One of the most compelling reasons to save cord blood stem cells is that new findings indicate you may be able to use them to treat conditions like brain injury and juvenile diabetes. And they have already been used to treat nearly 70 diseases, including leukemia and other cancers. As new treatments develop, having cord blood on hand will be invaluable.

The decision to store my son’s cord blood was easy. Deciding which bank to trust took time and research. I feel confident recommending the bank I chose, Cord Blood Registry® (CBR®).

Parents have only one chance with each child to bank his or her cord blood stem cells. The importance of banking is clear, but the financial commitment may deter some families.

Thankfully, payment plans make the cost well within reach for most people.

I believe cord blood banking is well worth the investment for a family’s future, and parents should strongly consider making use of this valuable service.

Pediatrician Robert Sears, MD, FAAP, is a noted author, CBR medical advisor, and the father of three boys.

Saving your baby’s cord blood stem cells may offer a lifetime of protection.

There is nothing more important than protecting your family. Although your child will never be immune from accidents or illness, you can still have the ultimate peace of mind: knowing you’ve done everything possible to protect your child. It begins with banking your baby’s cord blood stem cells. Cord blood is showing promise in the treatment of brain injury and juvenile diabetes. And for years has been used to treat nearly 70 serious diseases, saving many lives from leukemia and other cancers.

Save your baby’s cord blood with Cord Blood Registry,® the world’s largest and most experienced cord blood bank. Don’t miss your one chance.

Call CBR® today for you free information kit

1-888-595-6490 And visit cordblood.com

In addition to current uses, new medical applications for cord blood stem cells are being discovered rapidly; however, banking cord blood does not guarantee that the cells will provide a cure or be applicable for every situation. Source for Ob/Gyn claim: Blind survey, GfK Market Measures, 4/07. © Cbr Systems, Inc. • 0509 • MA01654.00

Must-Haves

Let’s eat

The infant formula cookbook Prep dad for mixing duty with this 411 on making formula and our suggested tools Now that you’ve picked the perfect formula, what’s next? You need a system! For some semblance of control in your otherwise unpredictable new-baby routine, make formula prep turnkey.

It’s a perfect task to hand off to dad—bottle-feeding involves him in care-giving, provides priceless bonding time with baby, and (perhaps even more important) lets you take a break. Use this formula cheat sheet to teach him the ropes, then tack it up in the kitchen for future reference.

Munchkin Glass Bottle, $4 for 4-ounce size; and Silicone Bottle Sleeve, $3, available at Target Stores

By Kate Geagan, M.S., R.D.

Clean up Always wash your hands before you get started, and be sure to use only tools that have been thoroughly washed in hot, soapy water. Even the table or countertop should be cleaned to minimize the risk of tummy upsets from any bad bugs.

Do a safety check Check the expiration date to be sure the formula’s still good. If you’re using new bottles or nipples, boil them for five minutes to sterilize. After that, wash them in the dishwasher’s top rack or by hand (see above). Let them air dry; kitchen towels can be germy.

What’s the ratio?

One level scoop of powder for every 2 ounces of clean water is the general rule, but follow the brand’s directions. Too little water can cause dehydration and overtax a baby’s kidneys, while too much can dilute the nutrients important for healthy growth. Add powder to water in the bottle; shake to mix well.

Where do I store it?

Once you make a bottle, keep it in the fridge until feeding time. If you’re heading out, put it in an insulated bag and tuck that in the diaper bag. You can also wait and prepare formula on the spot.

How long does it keep?

At room temperature, prepared formula will keep for two hours.

If you put it in the fridge right when you make it, it will keep for 24 hours. After that, throw it out. If you’ve already started a feeding, toss unused formula after an hour—naturally occurring bacteria from the baby’s mouth can get into the bottle, contaminate the formula, and make the baby sick at the next feeding.

The question of warming It’s perfectly OK to feed a baby formula that’s slightly cool, at room temperature, or slightly warm. Personally, the best tip I ever got was to skip warming. My kids never knew any better, and it made my life a whole lot easier, especially when warming wasn’t an option. If you do warm your bottles, use a bowl of warm water, not the microwave. Test warmed formula on the inside of your wrist before feeding; it should feel warm, not hot.

Kate Geagan, M.S., R.D., is an award-winning dietitian in Park City, UT, and author of Go Green, Get Lean: Trim Your Waistline With the Ultimate Low Carbon Footprint Diet. She is the mother of two toddlers.

Must-Haves

These rock! BPA-free, U.S.made, with a design that helps reduce colic, spit up, burping, and gas by mimicking the flow of breastfeeding without suction or pressure build-up.

Dr. Brown’s Baby Bottle, $15 for three 4-ounce bottles, lullabylane.com

Your formula BFFs FYI: Besides the breast, powdered e option. formula is the most cost-effective

A bottle bag that keeps things cold and soaks up spills…genius.

Then consider the snap handle that attaches to your diaper bag, stroller, wherever—we’re sold! Made of baby-safe soft and absorbent neoprene. Built Double Thirsty Tote, $11, built.com

Let’s eat

Two pluses: No messy plastic bags, and no worries that dad might get the ratio wrong.

These handy, BPA-free dispensers make mixing anywhere even easier than pie—just tuck one in your diaper bag and go. Includes one triple- and one single-serving (pictured on the left page).

Munchkin Powdered Formula Dispenser Combo Pack, $6, amazon.com

OK, it’s kinda pricey, but you won’t mind seeing this bottle rack on your kitchen counter. It looks sculptural rather than utilitarian, yet it’s totally functional—the handle in the middle is a brush! Skip Hop Splash Bottle Drying Rack, $28, skiphop.com

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Only NEW immunity-building

Enfamil® PREMIUM™ has Triple Health Guard.™

*Studies compared infants fed Enfamil LIPIL® vs. discontinued Enfamil® without DHA and ARA; improvements shown to 18 months for mental and visual development. Studied before the addition of prebiotics. © 2009 Mead Johnson Nutrition

Because som some things you do don’t want them to share.

The formula clinically pr proven to benefit your baby in all three ways: • Promotes healthy growth • Improves Impr brain and eye development* • Builds immune system and supports rrespiratory health With Enfamil® PREMIUMTM, now you can do more to give him a solid foundation. For the only reason that matters.

TripleHealthGuard.com

Because it’s your baby.

Must-Haves

A green life

Get it sparkling green Dump that caddy of toxic potions and make your nest as safe as it is clean I’ll never forget the moment I found out I was pregnant for the first time: the excitement, the overwhelming joy, and then, of course, the panic. The idea of being responsible for something so small and vulnerable was enough to make me…well, it actually made me open my cleaning cabinets and take a good, hard look at the chemicals that made my house sparkle and smell fresh.

I’d been eating organic foods for years, avoiding toxins from the inside out, but what about the everyday exposure to chemicals I intuitively knew could be dangerous, not only to the planet but to the baby growing inside me? Clearly, going through my household cleaners was the next obvious move.

So there I sat on the kitchen floor, just a few weeks with child, surrounded by the products I’d grown up with. All of them came under review: brightly colored detergents, disinfectants, cleaners, powders, and sprays. I began to read their ingredients lists, although many of the bottles and containers didn’t say what was in them at all, since it’s not required by law; those that did listed ammonia, toluene, formaldehyde, xylene, benzene, and methanol. Say what?

I eventually learned that many of these chemicals

46

June 2009

By Anna Getty, Eco Editor

are linked to serious health issues. After that, making the switch was easy. (Changing to green cleaners is actually step 2 of Healthy Child Healthy World’s “5 Easy Steps”; check out healthychild.org for more information.) But do non-toxic cleaners really get your home clean? Yes, they do. It just takes time to find the right ones.

The growing green market now offers many wonderful products from Seventh Generation, Mrs. Meyer’s, Shaklee, Method, Begley’s Best, and more, that are formulated to be efficient and compete with their more toxic counterparts. You can even make hardworking cleaning products at home from basic ingredients like vinegar—an excellent window cleaner and fungus-fighter in the bathroom.

Either way, I promise, you’ll feel good knowing that the products in your home get your house clean and are safe for your kids to be around. Turn the page for our suggestions to green your clean.

Anna Getty is a holistic green lifestyle expert, author, and mom. She also created the DVD collection Anna Getty’s Pre and Postnatal Yoga Workout. Her first book, I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas, is due out this October.

Find out if your favorite cleaning supplies are safe. The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services’ Household Products Database (householdproducts .nlm.nih.gov) has ingredients lists for more than 8,000 consumer brands!

Must-Haves

1

A green life

3

2

5 6 4

9

7

8

Clean, green dirt-busters 1. Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Liquid Soap, $15, drbronner .com; 2. Begley’s Best All Purpose Cleaner, $6, amazon .com; 3. Seventh Generation Baby Laundry Detergent, $9, drugstore.com; 4. Sweet Grass Farm Farmhouse Laundry Sachets in Lavender, $7 for 3, sweetgrassonline.com; 5. Green Clean: The Environmentally Sound Guide to Cleaning

Your Home, by Linda Mason Hunter and Mikki Halpin, $16, amazon.com; 6. Method Go Naked All Surface Wipes, $4, methodhome.com; 7. Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Day Stain Remover in Baby Blossom, $5, mrsmeyers.com; 8. Twist European Sponge and Bamboo Cloths, $3 and $4, buygreen.com; 9. Toy Tips Toy Cleaner, $6, toytips.com

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The digital mom

Layout design by Ana Cabrera. Digital elements available at scrapartist.com and twopeasinabucket.com.

Must-Haves

5 reasons to go digi!

By Ana Cabrera

Digital scrapbooking captures those once-in-a-lifetime memories and lets you express your creative mojo—without the scissors and glue If you’ve wanted to try scrapbooking but couldn’t afford the gear, the time, or the space, you’ve got to check out its digital sibling.

Forget struggling with paper, inks, cutters, and glue—digi scrapping makes it easy and affordable to play with your ideas and undo what you don’t like. And that’s not the only reason to fire up your computer when you want to create family memories.

It’s not expensive Have diapers, bottles, and other baby necessities left your bank account in need of a bailout? One of the best things about digital scrapbooking is that you can get started for little or no cost.

Like any hobby, there are plenty of ways to spend your bucks, but these resources allow you to get started before making a big investment. Take advantage of these free goodies.

Free kits Many of the online design houses offer free kits and templates. Check out Scrapartist.com where you’ll get access to several free kits after registering for a free account. (And there are many more for purchase.) Craftification.com is offering a

free kit exclusively for Pregnancy readers at craftification.com /pregnancymag.

Trial offers Adobe Photoshop Elements is a favorite among experienced digital scrapbookers. And it’s great for editing photos and creating cards, invitations, and announcements. You can even download a fully functional free trial before buying!

Mac: adobe.com/products/photoshopelmac Windows: adobe.com/products/photoshopelwin

Endless inspiration The online scrapping community offers so much to the newbie. Tons of sites provide sample layouts and run theme challenges to inspire scrappers.

At many sites, you can get ideas and free kits in one spot. Two Peas in a Bucket (twopeasinabucket.com/digital.asp) has been a destination for both traditional and digital scrapbookers alike for 10 years. Users proudly upload their creations to the galleries providing tons of free ideas and creative inspiration. The site also offers dozens of free kits! p re g n a n c y 3 6 0.c o m

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Must-Haves

The digital mom

FIVE

Month

Expert designs You can buy digtal templates and kits created by the best designers in the scrapbook industry.

Scrapblog.com appeals to the scrapbooking novice and as well as experienced crafters. The site offers drag-and-drop templates, along with more advanced functionality, so you can allow your imagination to run wild.

Digi’s fast and easy

At five months, you were growing very fast and eating... a lot! We started you on solid foods this month, mainly oatmeal and fruit. You weighed in at 17 pounds at your checkup, just over 25 inches. It's really hard to believe you've grown five inches in five months. Amazing! You babble constantly and are particularly vocal with our dogs, Max and Erma. We think you'll be sitting up next month because you are growing stronger every day. We love you!

HowFastTheyGrow.com is the “Home of the 7-minute scrapbook page.” You choose a theme, drag photos into templates, and add your own words. Once you’re finished, you can have your designs printed on high-quality paper in one of their designer albums. Layout courtesy of HowFast TheyGrow.com.

Unlike its paper counterpart, digital scrapbooking is super user-friendly. Don’t like that paper? Swap it out. Hate the overall design? Click delete and start over. There’s no commitment required until you are ready to make it.

And creating a page with the help of a drag-and-drop template takes only minutes to complete. You can crank out a couple of layouts while baby naps!

When you want to expand your creativity, check out Designerdigitals.com, which specializes in ready-made digital scrapbook elements, templates, and kits.

Must-Haves

Show off your creations If you’re creating pages with Photoshop Elements, sharing memories is as simple as sending an email. After creating a page, just save it as a JPG file. Or, if you’re using an online service, you can order books of your pages to send to grandma, email your creations to friends, and even post them on Facebook.

Get help any time Want to take some digital scrapbooking classes or brush up on a new technique? You can do it from the privacy of your own home. Take in a class after a 4 a.m. feeding, or learn a new technique in your jammies with one of the many great digital scrapbooking books out on the market—there are even Kindle versions available on Amazon!

Hands down, Jessicasprague.com is the place to go for digi education. Jessica offers classes for everyone from the novice to the

The digital mom

expert, and be sure to check out her photo-editing course. And you can get 20% off your first class! Just use coupon code JS20DIGI when you check out.

There’s no mess Here’s another vote for digital—it leaves no mess! You can start projects and put them on hold, leaving plenty of room for all those new baby toys. (It’s hard enough keeping the house clean, right?) With your laptop, you can create pages in bed, on the plane to grandpa’s house, or anywhere you go. No glue stick required!

Ana Cabrera has been a paper and digital scrapbooker for more than 15 years, and she’s the Social Media Manager at CK Media. Ana runs Craftification.com, a blog dedicated to all things crafty. She’s also a busy mom of three beautiful daughters, who inspire all her creations.

There’s a new mom in town.

His name is

“Dad”

With some gentle prodding and a little light instruction, the modern father cooks, cleans, diapers, feeds, and takes care of all manner of household issues. Is this a miracle from above or another stroke of genius from mommy’s little bag of tricks?

QuIck QuIz: As a kid, when you woke up in the middle of the night, whose name did you call: Mom or Dad? If you were having trouble with a friend at school, which parent would you talk it over with?

Who made your dinner? Reminded you to clean your room?

Took you to the doctor? Kissed your boo-boos?

If you grew up in the 1970s or ’80s, chances are the answer to all three is “Mom.” Dads were important, sure, but for most of us, they weren’t day-to-day parents. As a result, we didn’t know them quite as well (what exactly did they do all day?), and they didn’t know us (could they even name our friends?) as well, either.

FolloW-up QuIz: In 20 years’ time, how do you hope your child answers those three questions?

Here’s where things have gotten interesting. In the past 10 years, there has been a sea change in how we define a “good father.” We now expect dads to be involved in their kids’ lives in a way fathers have never been before. And we expect this of them even though they lack the luxury of role models, flexible workplaces, or a whole lot of instruction.

The great news is that being an involved father brings a wealth of riches—to kids, to moms, and most especially to the dads themselves. But what are we expecting of them, exactly? And is it possible that they might even be better at this parenting thing than us?

By Emily Bloch

HoW dId We get Here?

What explains this evolution of the species? Three words: the women’s movement. Once moms began working, it became a lot more difficult for any dad shirking family time to hide. Pop culture also helped the cause. In 1972, Free to Be You and Me gave us messages of gender equality. Seven years later, Kramer vs. Kramer gave us a divorced dad who wins custody of his son; and in 1984 the message was completed by The Cosby Show, featuring Dr. Huxtable as a WAHD (work-at-home dad) and wife, Claire, as a high-powered attorney.

This shift toward involved fatherhood happened not because men stormed the barricades, but because they kind of…um, didn’t have a choice.

“This was started by women,” says John Badalament, author of The Modern Dads Handbook and director of the PBS documentary All Men Are Sons. “But it’s also because when Gen X—the first generation in which divorce and latchkey kids were commonplace—became parents, there was a critical mass of men who knew what they didn’t want, even if they couldn’t say what exactly they did want.”

Dads used to be expected to provide for their families financially. But in the course of a generation, they now need a whole new set of skills. “It doesn’t hit you until you have your first kid.

Suddenly you run into a completely reinvented role for men, and it’s one you don’t have any preparation for,” says Clay Nichols, co-creator of dadlabs.com and co-author of the new book DadLabs Guide to Fatherhood, Pregnancy, and Year One. This accidental second sexual revolution—connecting men to their nurturing, caretaking sides—is still in progress. “If women have traveled the road leading from the home and into the world of work, from the qualities of caring and nurturing into the world

p re g n a n c y 3 6 0.c o m

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of assertiveness and strength, men have just begun traveling the road from work to home,” Badalament says. “But most guys see that they have an opportunity their dads didn’t.”

The here and now Dads are more involved in their kids’ lives than they were even 10 years ago. It’s no longer unusual to see men holding babies in a front carrier, changing a diaper, or at story hour. According to the US Census Bureau, there was a 62% increase in the numbers of stay-at-home dads between 2003 and 2006. The National Center for Fathering found that between 1999 and 2008, there were big increases in the percentage of dads who take their children to school, attend class events, help their kids with extracurricular activities, and attend parentteacher conferences.

But the parenting distribution in most families is still far from even-steven. Time-use studies have found that women are still doing about 70% of the housework. “The norm is probably a guy who helps, who’s doing way more than his dad ever did, but certainly not as much as his wife is doing,” Nichols says.

“Dad might be doing twice as much as his father, but half as much as his wife expects. He thinks she should be grateful, but instead she’s pissed off.”

be preparing for fatherhood—as opposed to girls, who are given dolls and instructed in the fine art of nurturing. The first baby Will Craig ever held, for instance, was his own newborn daughter, just moments after being born.

Just like moms, dads have also come to see that “having it all” isn’t always as fabulous as it sounds. “I’m supposed to be at the pinnacle of my career, but this is also the moment that the kids are little, and need the most one-on-one care,” Aron says. Jeff, who was writing his dissertation when his daughter was born, says trying to balance his two realities was stressful. “I don’t want to idealize just how much work it is to take care of the kids,” he says. “It’s a full-time job.”

If all of these challenges weren’t enough, dads also have to deal with attitudes from those who haven’t quite caught the wave. “I’d go into a coffee shop with my infant son, and get really helpful advice from the ladies who thought as a dad, I couldn’t quite hack it,” Nelson laughs. “They’d say to the baby, ‘You’re so cute! Say, ‘Daddy, I want some socks! Oh, Daddy—I’m cold!’ ” But Nelson says you have to just roll with it. “So much of raising kids is funny,” he says.

“Dad might be doing twice as much as his father, but half as much as his wife expects. He thinks she should be grateful, but instead she’s pissed off.”

he’s a producT of his environmenT So why aren’t all men getting with the program? Top of the list is that too few men were raised with the idea that they should

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June 2009

why iT’s worTh iT Make no mistake: Dads have a profound impact on their kids’ lives. Pick a concern, any concern: street gangs, teen pregnancy, dropping out of high school, substance abuse. Experts say each

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dad snapshots Will Craig, New York

“When kids see their dads taking care of housework, they learn cooperation and ‘democratic family values’— that we’re all in this together.”

Will, 35, has two girls, ages 4 and 6.

When his eldest, Radia, was born, he was an elementary school teacher, and his wife, Laurie, ran a tutoring business from home. A year later, they decided to rely on Laurie’s burgeoning business. Five years later, “Laurie’s the stereotypical businessman, coming home at 6, and I’m the stereotypical housewife, doing most of the cooking and cleaning and caretaking of the kids,” Will says. “It isn’t always easy, but it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.”

Jeff Helgeson, Chicago problem improves when an involved dad is in the picture. And there’s no doubt that fathers help boost their children’s grades. A study by the U.S. Department of Education found that students whose fathers were highly involved at school were 43% more likely to receive A’s, and were 55% more likely to enjoy school than those with uninvolved dads.

But what about all those unpleasant chores? Sure, he can take Junior to the park, but does it really matter if dad is involved with cooking and cleaning? Yes. A recent University of California, Riverside, study found that school-aged kids who did housework with their fathers are more likely to get along with their peers, less likely to make trouble at school, and are less depressed or withdrawn. The theory is that when kids see their dads take care of housework, they learn cooperation and “democratic family values”—in other words, that we’re all in this together, and no one gets out of doing his share.

If that isn’t enough, it turns out that being close with the kids is also good for Papa. A National Institute of Mental Health study found that when fathers were actively involved in their children’s lives, those fathers experienced fewer accidental deaths, fewer premature deaths, less substance abuse, and fewer hospital admissions. And as for the housework, research out of the family studies “love labs” at University of Washington demonstrates that when husbands contribute more domestic labor, their wives interpret that work as a sign of loving and caring—and are more likely to get “in the mood.” Not a bad domino effect, especially for those postpartum months!

What can moms do?

The chances of a dad succeeding at being intimately involved in his kids’ lives are much better if his wife is behind the mission,

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June 2009

When Jeff, 36, was in fourth grade, he announced: “When I grow up, I want to stay home with my kids and be a freelance writer.” Where did he get that idea? Maybe in part from his own father, who put his construction business on hold in the ’80s while the family relocated from Minnesota for New York, because Jeff’s mom got a job there.

Today, Jeff is a professor of labor history, and his wife has a full-time job. He’s the primary pick-up and drop-off parent for their two kids, ages 3 and 1. He also makes dinner every night and spends more time with the kids during the week than his wife does. “I really enjoy spending that much time with the kids,” Jeff says. “It has probably slowed down my career, but I think it’s worth it.”

Aron Goldman, Shutesbury, MA Aron, 35, shuttled between his mom and dad as a child, and as hard as that was, he says there was a silver lining. “I only saw my dad on Wednesdays, and every other weekend,” he says. “But that meant that when we were together, he was my primary caregiver. He was very present and involved.” Aron works full-time, but drops his daughters, ages 1 and 4, off at day care in the morning, and is home in time to be with them while his wife makes dinner.

“Finding enough time to work is a constant struggle,” he says. “But I’d never sacrifice how close I am with the kids.”

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things dadS do bEttEr

1. Go with the flow Last-minute playgroup cancellation? Disney on Ice sold out? Unexpected meet-up with another parentbaby combo at the coffee shop? No problem! Involved dads are good at switching gears and coming up with something fun—just not necessarily by the book.

2. WWF-style antics Count on a dad to toss his kids in the air, wrestle on the playroom floor, and encourage gross-motor development in every possible way.

3. teach kids to shrug it off Dads might not be as tuned-in to playgroup etiquette, and maybe that’s a good thing. So what if Susie took Johnny’s ball? Let’s play on the swings!

4. Make every day an adventure Instead of seeing the post office, an oil change, and grocery store as a list of chores, dads see opportunities for fun.

5. Encourage kids to stay on-task Moms are more likely to bring a lovey to the almostcrawling baby, but dads will let the baby whine and squirm around a little before giving in. Kids need both the reassurance of mom’s approach and dad’s tough love.

Badalament says. “For a dad to know his child, the mother has to allow dad in,” he says. To that end, here are some ways to do that: Lay off. Does he dress the baby in mismatched clothes? Forget to plug in the humidifier in her room at bedtime? Leave the diaper bag at home and “wing it” on an outing? Let it go. Either he learns on his own that your system works better, or he invents a system of his own. By harping on him to do it “right” (meaning your way), you’re undermining his confidence in being an equal parent.

See him as your equal. Even if scheduling demands mean that he doesn’t have as much time with the kids as you do, try to give

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June 2009

him the information he needs to be up to speed. Don’t be greedy about your primary caregiver role—share it.

Speak up for what you want. Instead of complaining, or just resentfully doing something yourself, Badalament says you should own your expectations. “Say, ‘It’s important to me that you spend time with our children.’ If dad isn’t living up to certain realistic expectations, it’s time for mom to get it on the table in the healthy way. Don’t nag, ask,” he says.

What can dadS do?

According to Badalament, there are three basic lessons dads-to-be should follow: Know and be known. “Know” means that dads today should strive to be experts about their kids—everything from their daily schedule, to the best way to get them to sleep, to the sweetest ticklish spot under their chins. And “be known” means that it’s up to you to be yourself with your kids. “We gave up the mystique that dads of a different generation had, disappearing to the study to drink whiskey,” Nichols says. “Dads today are right there, in sweaty T-shirts, doing bedtime. Our kids trust us fully.” talk about where you’re coming from. Put your experiences with your own dad into words. Make sure you and your partner both understand just how much, and how little, you want to recreate the dynamic you had with him. don’t just be “the fun dad.” When fathers don’t have as much time with their kids as moms do, they may choose the “good cop” role, leaving “bad cop” to mom. “If you want your child to learn from you, and to rely on you, you have to set reasonable limits with them,” Badalament says. For dads with infants, this means not keeping the baby up late just so you get to play with her after work, for instance.

Emily Bloch has also written for Real Simple and Marie Claire. She’s blessed with a husband who knows just as much about baby poop as she does.

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If you’re not familiar this word yet, you probably

The specifics

will be soon: “babymoon.” It’s a chance for the two of

Breakfast in bed: Although morning

you to reconnect before baby comes. After all, it may be the last time for a few years that you’re actually alone in your house, never mind have the luxury to finish a sentence or savor a meal.

But times are tough, and hotels and spas got cut out of the budget back in early ’08. So what’s a guy to do? As

sickness strikes many women, there’s still something wonderful about not having to get up to eat. So let her sleep in and prepare breakfast for her. Yes, this means you need to get a clue as to what she likes.

If someone brought me oatmeal, prunes, plain yogurt, and tea with milk, I would have just rolled back over, but my wife loved it! And don’t forget: Doing the dishes is also part of the deal.

expecting fathers we feel that there’s nothing we can do during the pregnancy—after all, she’s doing all the hard work growing the baby.

But it’s all about the “P” word, gentlemen. That’s right, pampering. And if we roll up our sleeves and do it ourselves, she’ll appreciate both the act and the thought that we’ve put into it—and it hardly costs a thing!

firsT, a couple of rules This is not about you—it’s all about her. And for her, it is all about the baby growing inside. Even if the mother of your child is a basejumping, free-climbing adventure diva, chances are this will change during pregnancy. Whether it’s a walk in the woods or a cuddle on the couch, be aware of her limits right now. These are different for everyone. Some women don’t feel comfortable in a bath while pregnant and others relax in bubbles regularly. Once again, it is not about you, so don’t plan something she’s not into.

It’s also not about how much it costs, it’s about how you do it.

If there is ever a time for a man to learn how to be sensitive, it is now. Not only is your loved one going through huge hormonal fluctuations while watching and feeling her whole body change, she is also unsure about how you feel about how she looks now.

This is the time to make sure your partner knows that she is the most important woman in the world and that she is beautiful— even more beautiful—when she is pregnant. Make sure you let her know how you feel. Yeah, I know feelings are not your strong point, but suck it up.

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June 2009

Don’t forget: Make hers a decaf!

Tip: if you have no idea what your wife would enjoy, ask her friends! You’ll earn points for doing your research and making them jealous.

Treat her to a light massage: Carrying an extra 20 to 30 pounds around gives an mom-to-be plenty of aches and pains, but you can help. Have her lie on her side and make sure she’s comfortable. Focus on those lower back muscles and the muscles around her neck. Avoid the abdomen and make sure your strokes are light, especially on the legs and thighs. Use a nice massage oil that will be safe to use on the baby in a few months. .

Lafe’s Organic Baby Oil, $16, lafes.com

Give her a foot massage and paint her toenails: While you’re busy working,

Watch a favorite movie together—lady’s choice: This is a time for chick flicks, even

talk about your future plans, baby names, and make sure you take time to enjoy the parental anticipation. Sharing these thoughts often gets lost in the preparation for the new family addition.

if she’s a fan of Alien. Ask her what she wants to watch, or choose a light comedy with a baby as part of the plot. Some pregnancy winners—Juno, Angie, Father of the Bride 2, and Junior. And if you really want to up the ante, read to her instead!

Burt’s Bees Mama Bee Leg & Foot Creme, $9, burtsbees.com

OPI Sahara Sapphire and Venus di Violet nail color, opi.com

Get all the fixins: Popcorn, her favorite candy, and a bubbly lemonade

When you’re feelin’ so money Consider “The Ultimate Babymoon Package” at The Westin Resort & Spa, Los Cabos (westinloscabos.com). For $328 per night you get: Sparkling cider and chocolate-covered strawberries when you arrive Breakfast in bed for two each morning A prenatal massage and pedicure for mom An in-room dessert for two each evening

p re g n a n c y 3 6 0.c o m

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BONUS POINTS Bring the spa to her by splurging on Mama Mio’s Supermama Kit (shower cream, body buff, body cream, and balm), $100, mamamio.com

Create some ambiance: No, I’m not talking about cleaning up your dirty laundry, or even repainting! I’m just suggesting adding flowers or scented candles to each room, or bringing in special accents to make it feel special and different. A string of Christmas lights (even in June) can add a festive, happy atmosphere to any room. Be creative!

Make her a nice dinner: Or, if you’re no chef, call one of her favorite restaurants that offers takeout and delivery. If you need to grab something quickly, there are also prepared gourmet dishes available at many grocery stores.

Spa Moments Candles in Tranquil Oasis, $14 for 3, skin-spa.com

Feel like playing it safe? Try gourmetgroceryonline.com

Draw her a bath: Fill the tub with warm water—not hot—to help relax her body.

For a special treat, sprinkle rose petals in the water, then make a trail from the bath to the bed. These can be found at most local florists or online at petalgarden.com.

And instead of scented bubble baths, try bath salts. You can get regular Epsom salts at most drug stores. Turn down the lights, add candles, and put on her favorite music. Don’t forget to set out fresh, clean towels and her robe and slippers.

Verikira Naturals Aroma Bath Fizzies in Lavender, $22, verikira.com

IT’S NOW OR NEVER You’ll create perfect babymoon for the mother of your child with these basic guidelines. Actions do speak louder than words, and I promise that your efforts will be appreciated. Heck—you might even get some! The added bonus is that you get to spend quality

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time with your partner before she forgets your name altogether.

Jonathon Reynolds writes about adventure travel around the world as well as food and wine. His latest trip has been being a father—it is the most challenging and most rewarding adventure of all.

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Pregnancy myths

MythBusters’ queen of blowtorches and beakers Kari Byron gets to the bottom of old wives’ tales about pregnancy. And her adorable looks—lifted straight from the guys—prove there are no hard-andfast rules when it comes to looking great with a bun in the oven

Pregnant women crave pickles and ice cream.

Salt cravings may indicate a lack of certain minerals. Ice cream may soothe a stressed mom-to-be. The rule?

Photographed by Mark Madeo Styled by Lisa Fremont

Mary Green Printed Silk Satin Pajama Set, $117, marygreen.com; Giant Pickle, $98, greatbigstuff.com; Giant Ice Cream Cone in Strawberry, $32, greatbigstuff.com

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Hair and makeup: Meaganne McCandess for Artist Untied

Eat what you want!

Hang your wedding ring on a string over your belly. If it moves in a circle you’re having a boy. If it swings back and forth, it’s a girl.

Something’s got to entertain all those ladies at the baby shower. Freak ’em out—slip a magnet under your shirt!

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June 2009

Pregnant women should avoid spicy foods; they may trigger labor.

Go ahead, try telling that to Betty with the belly who’s just ordered up her weekly dose of Kung Pao chicken!

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June 2009

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If you’re carrying high it’s a girl, and if you’re carrying low it’s a boy.

It’s all about your body type, people!

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Vince Ruched Neck Cashmere Cardigan in Heather Slate, $265, available at A Pea in the Pod; Vince Racerback Cashmere Vest in Sunflower, $195, nordstrom.com; Calvin Klein Classic Ribbed Tank in White, $22 for 3, macys.com; Burberry Patent Strap Watch with Brown Mock-Croc Leather Strap, $295, available in select Nordstrom Stores; Motherhood Maternity Boyfriend Jean, $45, motherhood.com

We believe every child is entitled to a life free from violence and full of possibilities. – Mariska Hargitay, actress & Peter Hermann, actor

Today, four children will die as a result of child abuse in the United States. Help protect children and save lives. Join Mariska Hargitay & Peter Hermann and 67 other celebrated Champions for Children and help stop child abuse. Visit safehorizon.org.

The resulting color of mixing urine with Drano predicts the sex of your baby.

Do not try this at home!

It is extremely dangerous to mix Drano with urine, not to mention just plain gross.

And check out our interview with Kari on page 77!

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“Absolutely no stretch marks” Tracy with Liam at 6 months

“The one thing my pregnant friends and I discussed at length was stretch marks – once you’ve got them, they’re there for good! I used Bio-Oil throughout, morning, noon and night… in fact, I haven’t stopped using it since Liam’s birth. Now that I’m pregnant with twins, I’m going to be using it more than ever! What’s also nice is that it’s not oily – you can put it on and then get dressed immediately and it doesn’t stain your clothes. You’ve no idea how many friends and family I’ve told about Bio-Oil!”* Bio-Oil® is a specialist skincare product that is specifically formulated to help prevent the appearance of pregnancy stretch marks. It should be used twice daily from the first trimester.

Bio-Oil contains the breakthrough ingredient PurCellin Oil™, ensuring that it absorbs quickly and leaves no oily residue. Bio-Oil is suitable for all skin types. Bio-Oil is available at Walgreens, CVS/pharmacy, Rite Aid and other leading retailers from $11.99 (2fl.oz.) and $19.99 (4.2fl.oz.).

For more information ask your pharmacist or visit bio-oil.com. * The possibility of developing stretch marks during pregnancy is influenced by many factors including diet, skin type and age. Bio-Oil helps increase the elasticity of the skin as it expands, thereby helping to reduce the possibility of stretch marks forming. Individual results may vary.

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Word of Mom

5 minutes with…

Kari Byron This first-time mom—a huge reason to check out the Discovery Channel’s edgy show MythBusters—is more than ready to face the challenges of motherhood I have weird little worries…like how loud does a gunshot have to be for the baby to hear it? And how much nitrogen can be in the atmosphere before it’s a danger to the pregnancy? I now know that I have to be 5,000 feet from an exploding bomb instead of 2,000 feet! [Laughs] A lot of parents write me to say…thanks for being a women’s role model who’s not Britney Spears. I’m finding out that little girls look up to me, which is really cool, but sort of an unexpected side effect of all this.

When I get really tired I…make a little bed for myself under my desk with a sleeping bag and blankets. When they can’t find me, they know to look under my desk!

I’m a vegetarian, but…I had a huge craving for my mom’s beef stew from when I was 10. My husband had to cut the meat up— that part was too gross for me!—and he prepared it. I ate it for a week straight. I guess the little baby wanted to taste beef! Not even a gateway meat like chicken!

I don’t know why, but…I’ve been cleaning parts of my house that have never been cleaned before. The other day I was under the sink scrubbing all that weird gooey-ness. It had to be spotlessly clean, although I’m hoping the baby won’t be spending too much time under the sink!

My husband is…so ready for this baby! He’s been doing more nesting than I have. I came home the other day and he had already bought the crib, a stroller, some swaddling blankets, a little baby hat, a vibrating seat…I’m like, “Wait a minute, I’m supposed to be doing all that!”

It just blows my mind that…I’m on the verge of such a lifechanging event. But I must say, I’m blissed-out happy!

—Bob Gulla

“I had a hormonal moment when I was emptying the dishwasher.

I started crying when I thought, ‘Someday, I’ll be teaching my baby how to empty this dishwasher!’ I got all teary.” p re g n a n c y 3 6 0.c o m

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Relationships

The guilty party Moms-to-be sure take one for the team—but your suffering doesn’t go unnoticed on his end, trust us

By Bob Gulla

My brother-in-law has virtually no tolerance for pain. When he came to visit my wife in the maternity ward after she delivered our first baby, he took one look at his sister’s pale, tired face and headed right back out into the hospital hall. I went out to see what was the matter and found him crouched with his head between his legs. He’d nearly fainted. “I hate hospitals,” he said, taking a deep breath and looking up at me with a white face. “I can’t even stand the smell.”

As macho as we men like to think we are on playing fields, in garages, and in boardrooms, we whither when it comes to dealing with pain. A toe cramp sends us whooping across the kitchen like one of the Stooges.

This means we feel a certain helplessness in dealing with our wives’ uncomfortable, often painful, pregnancies. While mommy’s taking one (or another one) for the team—gaining weight, losing sleep, and being held hostage by her hormones—daddy’s standing by, thanking the heavens he doesn’t have to give birth and wondering what he can do to make things better.

This dilemma comes up again and again during the nine months, peaking early with the euphemism known as “morning sickness,” and culminating most emphatically in the delivery room. For the most part, men are just really guilty throughout the entire thing.

So, what does this mean for mom?

“I wish there was more that I could do for her,” rues Justin Quinlan, a Narragansett, RI, dad, whose wife Lucia is expecting their second child this summer. “No matter what I tried to do in the delivery room, it didn’t help. The biggest thing was talking to her and calming her down and reminding her everything would be OK. But to watch her in such pain made me feel awful for her.”

As a Catholic Italian and a former altar boy, I wear guilt like an ox wears a yoke. In order to alleviate it, I do what a lot of guys do: shower my wife with gifts. “It was the one way I believed I could make her feel good, or at least a little better,” agrees Jason Peduto, a young dad in Columbus, OH. “I’d bring home flowers, maybe some jewelry, or splurge on a great meal I knew she’d like.”

Other dads contend with the guilt by retreating to work, rationalizing that they, too, can sacrifice for baby—only by working longer hours and making more money for their growing family.

“That was more the way dads used to do it,” says Paul Banas, founding editor of GreatDads.com. “But nowadays men are much more actively present for their wives, attending birthing classes, going to doula training. He might busy himself in other ways, too, like building the nursery or learning his way around the new digital camera. But he’s definitely more there.” p re g n a n c y 3 6 0.c o m

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Relationships

What has he done for you lately?

5 simple ways he can assuage his guilt 1. Give you a gentle massage. It not only takes your mind off your discomfort, it can also bring both of you to, shall we say, a happier place.

2. Cook you the meal you loved most as a kid. It’s the ultimate comfort food.

3. Promise that he won’t always try to make you happy.

Sometimes it’s better to be left alone. If you’re not feeling up to it, have him keep company out of the house, too.

4. Find out what smells make you gag and clear them out of the house. Then, make sure the good scents are always on hand.

5. Avoid reacting to anything negative you say. If you tell him he’s a worthless putz, he shouldn’t take it personally. You’re simply not yourself. Unless, of course, he is a worthless putz, in which case he might consider getting help.

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His part of the pregnancy Because today’s fathers-to-be are in the scene more than their helps for her to have a close bond with her husband. That way she fathers and grandfathers, they possess a stronger emotional con- doesn’t have to feel so isolated.” If he seems sad or distant, and you feel neglected and worn out, give him the chance to make it up to nection to the birth experience. you with a foot massage—you’ll both feel “Today’s dad is a responsible party, better, even if it’s for different reasons. so it’s normal to have some feelings of 38% of new mothers And you may be able to milk your responsibility,” says Glade Curtis, M.D., received a gift from their pregnancy suffering for more than just the co-author of the Your Pregnancy a rub-down. Ken O’Malley, a first-time series of books, including the most recent mate after birth. dad, wonders aloud: “The question is, installment, For the Father-To-Be. “There are just how guilty do you feel? Do you feel some guys who empathize so much that 55% of new mothers diamond-ring guilty? Or do you feel, they get similar symptoms to their wives wanted or expected a gift.

‘Here’s another carton of your favorite ice pregnancies.”

If your partner isn’t one of the many But 40% of both groups said cream, honey,’ guilty? It all depends on how much discomfort she’s in, how much who indulge in a “sympathetic pregthe baby was gift enough. empathy you have, or how easily you nancy,” he might still ease his guilt and succumb to guilt.” indulge his empathy in a physical way. source: Babycenter.com For his part, Quinlan does a lot of rubbing: temples, forehead, belly, and back. It helps his wife relax.

Curtis says the hands-on connection goes a long way. “With Bob Gulla lives to tell about managing his guilt through four pregnancies. all the physical changes a mom-to-be experiences,” he says, “it He’s also written for ReadyMade, Rolling Stone, and Entertainment Weekly.

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Word of Mom

Dad is the new mom

Are you man enough for a “Man Shower”?

The gender that brought us the stag party and paint ball proposes yet another way to celebrate From the cradle to the grave, we’ve got celebrations: birthdays, graduations, and of course the time-honored bachelor party. And yet we’ve left becoming a father out of the pantheon of rite-ofpassage ceremonies. It is arguably the biggest event in a man’s life, yet he’s left to play “sniff the baby food in the diaper” at the co-ed baby shower or wait alone watching sports until he gets the bootie call (to pick up the presents) after his wife’s shower.

This tragic oversight leaves the dad-to-be standing at the precipice of parenthood with no guidance, no support, nary a goofy toast! I propose that we fill this gaping hole that lies between the stag party and the retirement shindig, and heretofore, it shall be referred to as the Man Shower.

Sounds good on paper…

The problem is, men don’t know how to do the Man Shower. Sure, we can pull out the obligatory cigar, but that’s frankly out of step

By Jason Brand

with our current definitions of fatherhood. The men who handed out stogies in hospital waiting rooms 50 years ago knew nothing about wearing a baby carrier and even less about the lonely adventures of changing 2 a.m. diapers. Future fathers need to hear from those of us who know the ropes, and they need to know that a community of good friends surrounds them. Sound corny? Whatever.

Shawn Sears of Half Moon Bay, CA, is a veteran of the Man Shower. He’s attended three and most recently hosted one for his friend Jeremy, which he dubbed “BabyPower,” “I hosted BabyPower, put out an Evite, and asked people to bring food,” he says. “[The invitation] mocked what we were doing, saying ‘We’ll have a guys night and do guy stuff,’ but it was a very real experience where we did away with stuff like what color to paint the baby’s room or what to buy the baby. We got down to what life is really about.”

Enter the era of the Man Shower. Bring it on! High five!

But wait...it’s not that simple. p re g n a n c y 3 6 0.c o m

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Dad is the new mom

There’s no playbook Turns out, planning a Man Shower has its complications and not surprisingly, it comes down to the same old problem: Men always find a way to strip the intimacy out of any male-only outing, and we have the perception that an activity that does not completely revolve around shot glasses and bar stools is just not…manly.

The Man Shower has this problem at its core, because without staring at women and pounding booze, we don’t know what to do with ourselves. Add to that the fear (and sometimes reality) that male friendships will be over after the baby comes and the problems multiply. Does this mean that the Man Shower is doomed? Are the male stereotypes and the fears of intimacy and loss too great a force? Not necessarily, but it will take some effort and some highly evolved men to get it off the ground.

The first step is making the commitment to celebrate. This means getting the ball rolling either for you or for a friend. So don’t feel shy about calling a buddy and asking him to make the event happen for you.

The second step is getting over the fear of intimacy, because this is too important a time to fall back on old insecurities. The truth is, being a father is complicated, and this is an all-handson-deck time in your life. Whether the get-together helps you remember what it felt like before the responsibilities of family put everything into hyper-speed, or it allows you to learn the not-soancient ninja art of soothing a baby without a set of boobs, by not creating this place to share the info and reaffirm solidarity, we’re left to read the books or defer to our wives. That’s fine, but is that how we really want it?

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Nummies beautiful nursing bras The Man Shower Code 1. Commit to celebrate 2. Get over the fear 3. Keep it simple 5. Make room for the ceremony 6. What happens at the Man Shower stays at the Man Shower

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The third step is a bit more complicated and begs the question: What should the Man Shower be about? Sears attributes the success of BabyPower to keeping it simple.

“Do things that are going to make everyone comfortable. From having a drink to going to play golf, do [the ceremony] as part of the event, and don’t put guys on the spot.”

The Man Shower might take a bit of work but the reward goes far beyond a night out with the boys: It makes a statement about the importance of keeping up our friendships even as life changes, it takes some of the mystery out of how to be a good father, and it allows us to have our own time and place to celebrate the biggest of milestones.

Step up and have a Man Shower, or suffer the emasculation of having to suck beer out of a baby bottle at the next co-ed shower.

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Word of Mom

Nanny Stella

Don’t just sit there, do something!

Well, someone’s got to prod you along. Nanny says, “Get busy before baby’s born and you’ll be just fine”

By Nanny Stella of Nanny 911

Baby is on the way. You’re feeling fine. Everything is in place. But is it really? Take a moment to consider, “Are we ready? Is everything agreed upon that needs to be?” It’s certainly not my intention to overwhelm you, but planning ahead will alleviate a lot of stress and conflict further down the line. For example, a baby registry is a great way to help provide those nursery essentials. But once you’ve received all those goodies, make sure to open them, assemble, and wash them right away so everything’s ready to go.

Get finance in focus For starters, you need to be prepared for the impact the baby is going to have on your wallet—those diapers don’t come cheap!

And how much maternity/paternity leave do you actually have?

Will you return to work, or should you be looking into workingfrom-home alternatives? If you’re returning to work, on what date will you require child care? Are you going to be using a family member, nanny, or a day-care center? Finding the right child care as soon as possible will be a huge weight off your shoulders.

And while you’re at it, make sure that your will is in order. And review your insurance policies—this means life, disability, and

definitely your health plan—to ensure that all those baby expenses will be covered just in case.

Planning for the big day Is there a birth plan? Are you having an epidural or going the natural way? Are you banking your baby’s umbilical cord blood? Have you thought about who will be present in the delivery room?

Not only is it important to decide who will be where doing what, you also need to plan who will be visiting. I suggest making a schedule so that you aren’t overwhelmed with too many visitors at once, whether it be in the hospital or at home afterward. Friends and family will understand that this is a huge adjustment time for your new family and respect the boundaries that you put in place.

As long as there is room for flexibility and change, there won’t be any hurt feelings.

Parenting styles You might have a rough idea of what your parenting style is going to be, or you might have very strong opinions and attitudes on the topic. Before you make up your mind, find out what your partner‘s p re g n a n c y 3 6 0.c o m

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Nanny Stella

views are. Will you be on the same page or will you have to compromise? When the baby cries, will you pick her up straight away or wait a few minutes? Do you think you will all sleep together or in the same room, feed on demand, or have the baby on a schedule? Now is the time to discuss it, not in the middle of the night with a screaming infant.

Choosing a pediatrician This person will become your oracle during the first stages of parenthood. Is it the convenient location or the referral of a friend that will sway your decision? Many offices will schedule “interview” appointments whereby you can go and visit the doctor and staff to decide if the fit is right.

Sharing the load Decide in advance who is responsible for doing what in your household. Set up a chart allocating responsibilities and chores, and don’t forget to build in some mental-health time for you and your partner. This will help avoid one partner feeling as though they are doing more than the other.

Make some food and freeze it—this will be a lifesaver, especially if you aren’t one of those couples with family and friends fighting over who will deliver tonight’s dinner. In fact, if anyone asks what you need, tell them food delivery after the baby is born.

Managing Miscarriage Many women will experience miscarriage* during their lives. Some women discover their pregnancy has failed even before they begin to miscarry. If you’re faced with this knowledge, waiting until the miscarriage is complete may be emotionally and physically uncomfortable.

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Word of Mom

Nanny Stella

Tip: If anyone asks what you need, tell them food delivery after the baby is born

Getting organized Those files that you haven’t gotten to need sorting—like the bills, recipes, and old photographs. This is the time to clean those storage areas and drawers; you will soon be filling them back up again.

Now more than ever, get into the basement, attic, and garage and go through those boxes (let dad do the heavy lifting please). And why not plan the birth announcement and address and stamp those envelopes so that all you are left to do is finalize the details and add the beautiful picture?

Oh yes, the car seat. Installing it takes a Ph.D. and it’s not for the faint of heart. Do it yourself, but have it checked before you drive baby home in it. Child seat–fitting stations can be found via 1-866-SEAT-CHECK and seatcheck.org. Car-seat inspection is also offered at local fire stations.

I’m nearly done. (Phew, I hear you sigh.) Make sure you have some formula in the house, just in case your breastfeeding plan doesn’t go the way you intended.

Ready, set, baby!

Now let me say once that baby arrives, all that you’ve planned may go right out the window for a while. But remember to take a few deep breaths and support each other. Let you’re mantra be “We are an effective team. We are in this together” and then enjoy that baby!

Nanny Stella, celebrity family consultant, author, and star of Nanny 911, is well-known for her no-nonsense approach in helping families. Her passion is children—all ages, sizes genders, and ethnic backgrounds.

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Word of Mom

Need to know

Advice from Dr. Weiss This month: Sickle-cell concerns Stephen H. Weiss, M.D, is an assistant professor in the department of gynecology and obstetrics at Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta I’m black and my husband is Latino. We’re expecting a baby boy. I’m wondering what’s the likelihood of the baby having sickle-cell disease. Should we get genetic testing?

Genetic testing isn’t really a factor here. To get a more accurate evaluation of your family’s risk, ask your doctor to send some of your blood for a test called hemoglobin electrophoresis, which will indicate whether you carry the sickle gene. About 1 in 12 African-Americans and 1 in 18 Hispanic-Americans have the sickle-cell trait.

Sickle-cell disease is what’s called an “autosomal recessive genetic disorder,” meaning that two abnormal genes are needed for a baby to have sickle-cell disease. The disease occurs in about one in every 500 African-American births and one in every 1,000 to 1,400 Hispanic-American births. So, there is roughly a 1 in 864 risk of a baby being born with sickle-cell disease to a couple like you two.

If you discover that you have one normal gene (A) and one sickle gene (S), have your partner tested. When each parent carries one normal gene and one sickle gene, every pregnancy has a 25% chance of a baby born with normal blood; a 25% chance of sickle-cell disease; and a 50% chance of the baby being an unaffected carrier. If both of you have normal genes, you cannot have a child with sickle-cell disease.

Word of Mom

Need to know

Doula Jill Says This month: Doulas and dads Jill Wodnick, M.A., (jillwodnick.com) is a certified doula, prenatal instructor, and owner of Montclair Maternity, a New Jersey childbirth-education center How can I explain to my husband that a doula won’t replace him at our baby’s birth?

This is a great question for you and your husband to explore with doulas you’re interviewing. A quality doula can clearly communicate, in words and in deeds, that your marriage or partnership is the primary relationship, while your association with a doula has a beginning, middle, and end. For example, in a prenatal session, I’ll often bring a foot soak for the mom and, as her feet are immersed, ask the dad to simply hold her hand and be present.

It marks a beautiful moment in the pregnancy, with lovely music playing and sweet smells of essential oils, but it also demonstrates her triad of support for labor—the expectant dad alongside the mom-to-be and the doula positioned at her feet.

Have your husband ask the doulas you meet with how they plan to involve him in labor. Also, you might try sharing with him these real-life birth anecdotes from my practice that show dads’ importance in the delivery room: One father learned a chant in a prenatal visit and quietly but powerfully sang it to his laboring wife; she was enraptured in his arms hearing their baby’s birth song.

Another dad said out loud to his partner how beautiful and how powerful she was while preparing for a Cesarean birth.

A third father sat in the hospital bathroom for more than two hours, holding his wife’s shoulders as she pushed on the toilet, whispering affirmations in Italian in her ear.

One more dad typed out a psalm and put it in his left-hand pocket; later, while his newborn baby was in the warmer, he whispered it in baby’s ear.

The Pregnancy Online Community.

Where the Hip Moms Hang!

Word of Mom

Need to know

Ask Dr. Dana This month: High altitude a hazard?

Lisa Dana, M.D., is a pediatrician at Golden Gate Pediatrics in San Francisco and a clinical faculty member at the University of California, San Francisco

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We’re expecting our first baby on June 8, but still plan to go on our yearly trip to a lake house in Idaho with friends.

It’s during the second week of July, and she’ll be 6 weeks old by then. We’re worried about the effects of altitude. What do you think?

First, let’s talk about the trip itself. I hope that all will run smoothly with your baby’s birth—that she’ll come on time, you’ll feel well and rested, and nursing will be a breeze. That can happen, and often does. However, you could deliver early or be up to two weeks overdue. Your recovery could be like clockwork, or you could feel consistently rundown. Nursing could be a challenge, or your baby could be a natural. Unfortunately, until you’re living it, you just can’t know.

So, planning such a big trip so close to this time is risky. Technically, your baby shouldn’t even travel for the first 6 to 8 weeks of life. Sometimes urgent circumstances might require you to travel with a young infant, but trips should be the exception, not the rule, at this time. I think you might want to reconsider that vacation—or ask your friends if they can postpone to August.

As for the change in altitude, many babies are born in altitude, and infants can generally handle minor changes…but I think that’s the least of your concerns with a 6 week old.

The advice provided in these columns is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical diagnosis, advice, or treatment for specific medical conditions.

Word of Mom

There, I said it

C-section or at home in the tub—how do you want it?

Forget trends, statistics, and peer pressure. Go ahead and have your best birth

By Ricki Lake

Many people think of me as an advocate for natural birth and midwifery care—and I am. However, while I have made choices in my own life that support that position, I am first and foremost an advocate for every woman to find a way to experience her best birth. If the ideal birth plan for you includes acupuncture and a warm bath leading to an at-home delivery, you should have the freedom to explore that experience. And if your perfect birth includes an epidural, Pitocin, or other medical interventions, you should be able to choose that experience, as well.

It’s easy to get caught up in the divisive battle surrounding “natural” and “hospital” births. In fact, too often we judge the choices made by our fellow moms. Everything from birthing techniques, to breastfeeding, to when one should return to the workplace are scrutinized and often criticized. Although I’m always up for a great debate, I feel that the judgment must stop. Instead of looking to define different options as right or wrong, we should encourage and empower women to become informed.

After giving birth to my first son, I was so elated to be a mom.

I realized, though, that there was still much to be learned about birth. When I found out that I was pregnant with my second son, I couldn’t wait to go through the process all over again—just a bit differently. I yearned for information about various birthing options and methods in preparing to meet my second child. After quite a bit of research, I decided to give birth naturally, at home, in water. With my midwife by my side and with the support of my then-husband, I was able to plan a birth experience that was perfect for me.

Navigating the spiritual and medical aspects of birth can be challenging, but the effort offers huge rewards. Regardless of whichever method a woman chooses, it is my hope that she’ll never be made to feel inadequate or misguided.

As a sorority of mothers, can work to ensure that every woman, regardless of socioeconomic background, has access to prenatal care and accurate information. We can create a safe environment in which mothers can ask questions and be encouraged to trust their own instincts. We will never know what the outcome would have been if we had chosen a different approach; however, we can prepare, trust ourselves and our bodies, and in turn have our best births!

Ricki Lake is an actress and talk-show host turned documentary filmmaker (The Business of Being Born). Now she also writes books! Co-authored with Abby Epstein, Your Best Birth was released in May.

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June 2009