Since 2007, Michigan, Ohio State and Notre Dame have each experienced a season (or two) unbecoming their storied pasts. Simultaneously, these Midwestern powerhouses have lobbed verbal grenades at one another—each one pettier than the last—that’d make Bo and Woody blush. As three of the sport’s crown jewels return to a collective relevance not seen in years, we look back at the highs and lows, the hostility and loathing that’s defined the past six seasons.
by SCOTT T. MILLER illustration by aSaf hanuka
MIDWESTERN six-years WAR rank* 1
11.17
4
OSU14 UM3 11.22
OSU42 UM7
11.24
12
UM40 oSU34
oSU26 UM21 09.22
11.27
13
ND13 UM6
OSU37 UM7
11.21
OSU21 UM10
Ohio State Michigan Notre Dame
25
11.26
8
14
11 09.10
UM35 ND31
09.12
UM38 ND34
2 09.13
ND35 UM17
6
1 50
9
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? UM coach Lloyd Carr retires. Rich Rodriguez replaces him a month later.
NOTRE DAMAGE After Michigan RB Mike Hart promises victory, the Wolverines pummel the 0–2 Irish. Hart gains 187 yards.
75
UM28 ND24
11.19.2007
09.15.2007
3
4
04.19.2008
AND THEN WE’LL COME FOR THEIR DENTAL PLAN! Former OSU coach Earle Bruce says, “We want to beat [Michigan] every year, every year, every year … I’m all for five in a row, six in a row, seven in a row, and I’d be fine with a couple of good coaches getting fired.”
2007 2
3
4
5
6
7
8
5
11.17.2009
I DAMN YOU TO HELL! BUT IN A GOOD WAY Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis declares, “To hell with Michigan.” A few months later, Weis says his comments were in honor of former Michigan coach Bo Schembechler, who was often quoted saying, “To hell with Notre Dame.”
3
100
1 week
10
11
12
13
14
*Consensus rankings of all FBS teams, compiled weekly by Kenneth Massey.
15
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
6
11.30.2009
7
01.05.2011
AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING Notre Dame fires Weis. Brian Kelly replaces him 10 days later.
2008 9
10
09.11
2
1
124
7
5
8
01.12.2011
AND THERE WAS MORE REJOICING Michigan fires Rodriguez. Brady Hoke replaces him six days later. Somewhere Earle Bruce chuckles malevolently.
”YOU KNOW, THAT PLACE WITH THAT STADIUM, AND ALL THE OHIOANS …” At the Michigan news conference introducing Hoke, the new coach refuses to utter the words “Ohio State,” calling OSU “Ohio” or “that university in Ohio.” The habit persists to this day.
2009 9
10
11
12
13
14
15
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
05.30.2011
10
11.28.2011
PANTS-SHAPED PENDANTS: THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING OSU coach Jim Tressel resigns amid the NCAA probe for violations that include QB Terrelle Pryor’s selling the gold pants pendant given to players for each win over UM. Luke Fickell is named interim coach for the 2011 season.
“YOU KNOW, THAT THING UP THERE ABOVE TOLEDO …” OSU names Urban Meyer head coach to replace interim coach Fickell. Paying homage to the Woody Hayes era (or perhaps to Hoke), Meyer will repeatedly refer to Michigan as “the team up north” during his tenure.
PROVING YET AGAIN THAT NOTHING GOOD EVER COMES FROM PANTS-SHAPED PENDANTS The NCAA slaps Ohio State with a one-year bowl ban, scholarship limitations and probation for violations committed during Tressel’s tenure.
2010 9
10
11
12
13
14
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
11
12.20.2011
12
02.03.2012
13
09.25.2012
HE MUST’VE TAKEN A.P. HATER 101 Shortly after the Army All-America game, Michigan recruit Ondre Pipkins says that OSU recruit Kyle Dodson “ran away from me. That’s what they do. They run their mouth, and then when they meet up with the belly of the beast … they want to run away.”
CONTRACT? OH, YOU MEAN THAT WAD OF PAPER FLOATING IN OUR TOILET? Notre Dame ends its contract with UM, citing schedule conflicts from its agreement to play five ACC games a year. Hoke says ND is “chickening out” of the series. Irish DT Louis Nix tweets, absurdly, “I will eat the BONES. Lol.”
STATE OF OHIO, IN RESPONSE, TWEETS SELFIE Michigan receiver Bo Dever posts an Instagram pic of an Adidas test football with an “M” on it and embossed with the words “Made in USA—not in Ohio.” The Wilson football factory, official NCAA ball supplier, is in Ada, Ohio.
2011 9
10
11
12
13
14
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
14
05.21.2013
05.30.2013
CAN’T ANYBODY TAKE AN OFF-COLOR, PATENTLY UNFUNNY JOKE? A story goes public that OSU president Gordon Gee had joked at a booster meeting that Notre Dame was not invited to the Big Ten because “those damn Catholics” can’t be trusted. Five days later, Gee announces his retirement.
2012 9
10
11
12
13
14
ESPN (ISSN # 1097-1998) (USPS # 016-356). Volume 16, No. 14, August 19, 2013. ESPN is published biweekly, except monthly in January, May and August, by ESPN, 77 West 66th St., New York, NY, 10023-6201. The subscription price is $26 for one year. Periodicals postage paid at New York, NY, and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to ESPN, P.O. Box 37325, Boone, IA 50037-0325. For subscription queries, call customer service at 1-888-267-3684. To change your address, log on to www.accountinfo.espnmag.com.
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