TAMPA STATE COLLEGE NEWS THING SINCE 250 B.C
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March
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Literature Professor Doubles as Heavy Metal Rocker with Totally Awesome Moves
Photo by Laurel
This was in Doogs’ ‘80s hair phase. His loyal bandmates followed suit with gusto. They look just gr8. By Laurel Richey and Katherin Lavacca News & Features Editor and Asst. Editor
Professor Dan Dooghan struts out of his last class for the day on Friday, eager to get home and morph into his alter-ego: The Dooghinator. With his electric guitar in hand, the Dooghinator is the lead singer of Blynd Tÿger, a heavy metal rock band that plays at local bars in the wee hours of the morning. Last night in particular was a big night for Doogs. It was the night his band headlined at Crowbar, a hopping “grunge scene” located on the Ybor strip. It was his band’s first show before 2 a.m. They had never performed in front of a crowd bigger than what could
fit in his mom’s garage. His palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy, and mom’s spaghetti was pretty good that night. The blood that graced his guitar was from the practice they had directly before the show. “I cut my finger and blood sprayed on the pickguard. I thought it made me look cool so I left it. Definitely makes me more metal,” he said as he did some leg stretches to warm up for his signature stage dive. With Cohn Japouya on bass, Erika Dawnson on the drums and the electric xylophone player the Ambassador to Gothenburg, Blynd Tÿger couldn’t fail. The opening song was a ballad entitled “Baby Don’t Leave Me At The Bus
Photo by Laurel
I mean look how sick this show probably was. This was before the rad stage dive, where he ripped his
Depot,” a catchy tune they perfected that day. Right as the breakdown began, The Dooghinator leapt onto the bass speaker and feverishly head-banged his way into the audience’s hearts. “So you know, I really feel Doogs brings a type of spontaneity to the band that we really need,” Japouya said. “He pulls us all together and his mom is really rad about letting us use her garage for practice… Her spaghetti is superb too.” They then moved into a quick-paced jig, “Half-footed Fool.” Dawnson got swept away in the moment and kicked through both drum barrels with her 16-inch stiletto heels. “What can I say, when you gotta dropkick you gotta dropkick,” Dawnson
said with a shrug. After the beautiful “Please Stop Taking My Easy Mac” was played, we found out that it is a song that Doogs holds dear to his heart. When asked about it, he was too overcome with emotion to comment. By the end of the show, the audience was screaming for an encore. The Dooghinator came forward and said with a solemn face, “I have papers to grade,” dropping the mic to the stage floor. That was the last we saw of Blynd Tÿger. At least until after finals week. Laurel can be reached at www. Getouttamybidness.net and Katherin was raised by wolves so howl into the night and I’m sure she’ll hear.
Local Ducks Busted for Drug Ring on Campus By SELENE SAN FELICE She’s pretty cool
The flock of ducks that live under the boathouse are generally seen as an iconic and quirky part of campus. They seem completely innocent at first, but underneath the feathers, the flock has managed to maintain an organized drug cartel right on campus. The flock of five ducks has been seen countless times over the years, roaming about along the edge of the Hillsborough River behind Riverside Building and the library. However, the ducks were never suspected of or reported for any suspicious activity. Campus Security began to take up an interest in the ducks, simply because they
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were “cute” and seemed more entertaining than dealing with intoxicated students at late hours. Security began to notice that many students would approach the ducks late at night. At first this was perceived as students being curious or mischievous, but it was soon evident that the meetings meant much more. “We thought students were trying to mess with the ducks or just look at them, but something just didn’t seem right. People don’t just like ducks this much,” said Officer Porky, a lesser-known security guard at UT. Many of the same students who were seen approaching the ducks were later caught by security while smoking or in possession of marijuana. A large portion of these students were later found to be distributing the drugs.
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The pattern between drug dealers on campus and duck encounters was unavoidable, and at noon last Thursday, security raided the boathouse and surrounding area. To the security officers’ disbelief, approximately 480 ounces of marijuana were found in the nests of the ducks. The flock was immediately incarcerated and will face the charges of drug trafficking and distribution on April 1. When asked to comment on the situation, one of the ducks spat, “It’s De-thpickable! The trouble you can get into, just ‘cause you want 5,000 bucks.” Selene San Felice has come in to contact with a disease. Do not reach her at selene. sanfelice@spartans.ut.edu
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