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Literature Professor Doubles as Heavy Metal Rocker with Totally Awesome Moves
Photo by Laurel
This was in Doogs’ ‘80s hair phase. His loyal bandmates followed suit with gusto. They look just gr8. By Laurel Richey and Katherin Lavacca News & Features Editor and Asst. Editor
Professor Dan Dooghan struts out of his last class for the day on Friday, eager to get home and morph into his alter-ego: The Dooghinator. With his electric guitar in hand, the Dooghinator is the lead singer of Blynd Tÿger, a heavy metal rock band that plays at local bars in the wee hours of the morning. Last night in particular was a big night for Doogs. It was the night his band headlined at Crowbar, a hopping “grunge scene” located on the Ybor strip. It was his band’s first show before 2 a.m. They had never performed in front of a crowd bigger than what could
fit in his mom’s garage. His palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy, and mom’s spaghetti was pretty good that night. The blood that graced his guitar was from the practice they had directly before the show. “I cut my finger and blood sprayed on the pickguard. I thought it made me look cool so I left it. Definitely makes me more metal,” he said as he did some leg stretches to warm up for his signature stage dive. With Cohn Japouya on bass, Erika Dawnson on the drums and the electric xylophone player the Ambassador to Gothenburg, Blynd Tÿger couldn’t fail. The opening song was a ballad entitled “Baby Don’t Leave Me At The Bus
Photo by Laurel
I mean look how sick this show probably was. This was before the rad stage dive, where he ripped his
Depot,” a catchy tune they perfected that day. Right as the breakdown began, The Dooghinator leapt onto the bass speaker and feverishly head-banged his way into the audience’s hearts. “So you know, I really feel Doogs brings a type of spontaneity to the band that we really need,” Japouya said. “He pulls us all together and his mom is really rad about letting us use her garage for practice… Her spaghetti is superb too.” They then moved into a quick-paced jig, “Half-footed Fool.” Dawnson got swept away in the moment and kicked through both drum barrels with her 16-inch stiletto heels. “What can I say, when you gotta dropkick you gotta dropkick,” Dawnson
said with a shrug. After the beautiful “Please Stop Taking My Easy Mac” was played, we found out that it is a song that Doogs holds dear to his heart. When asked about it, he was too overcome with emotion to comment. By the end of the show, the audience was screaming for an encore. The Dooghinator came forward and said with a solemn face, “I have papers to grade,” dropping the mic to the stage floor. That was the last we saw of Blynd Tÿger. At least until after finals week. Laurel can be reached at www. Getouttamybidness.net and Katherin was raised by wolves so howl into the night and I’m sure she’ll hear.
Local Ducks Busted for Drug Ring on Campus By SELENE SAN FELICE She’s pretty cool
The flock of ducks that live under the boathouse are generally seen as an iconic and quirky part of campus. They seem completely innocent at first, but underneath the feathers, the flock has managed to maintain an organized drug cartel right on campus. The flock of five ducks has been seen countless times over the years, roaming about along the edge of the Hillsborough River behind Riverside Building and the library. However, the ducks were never suspected of or reported for any suspicious activity. Campus Security began to take up an interest in the ducks, simply because they
The Rest... AF2 ‘I Got Chlamydia From Miley Cyrus’ Spit’
were “cute” and seemed more entertaining than dealing with intoxicated students at late hours. Security began to notice that many students would approach the ducks late at night. At first this was perceived as students being curious or mischievous, but it was soon evident that the meetings meant much more. “We thought students were trying to mess with the ducks or just look at them, but something just didn’t seem right. People don’t just like ducks this much,” said Officer Porky, a lesser-known security guard at UT. Many of the same students who were seen approaching the ducks were later caught by security while smoking or in possession of marijuana. A large portion of these students were later found to be distributing the drugs.
AF3 Frogger Attacks! Mutant Frog Leonard Runs Rampant
The pattern between drug dealers on campus and duck encounters was unavoidable, and at noon last Thursday, security raided the boathouse and surrounding area. To the security officers’ disbelief, approximately 480 ounces of marijuana were found in the nests of the ducks. The flock was immediately incarcerated and will face the charges of drug trafficking and distribution on April 1. When asked to comment on the situation, one of the ducks spat, “It’s De-thpickable! The trouble you can get into, just ‘cause you want 5,000 bucks.” Selene San Felice has come in to contact with a disease. Do not reach her at selene. sanfelice@spartans.ut.edu
AF4 Jaguars Win Super Bowl in Epic Fashion
MINAFRIENDS
AF2 MARCH 34 2014 | THE MINARET
ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT
‘I Got Chlamydia From Miley Cyrus’ Spit’
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RESIDENT SPELLCHECK
TOP BOTTOM: Miley Cyrus/Facebook, Doug8888/Flickr
Miley is my homegirl and if anyone can figure this out you are the bomb.
Natalie Hicks
By SELENE SANFELICE
THE ANCHORMEN
When I heard Miley Cyrus was coming to perform at the Tampa Bay Times Forum, I was ecstatic. I’d been a huge Miley fan ever since Hannah Montana, and although her career has had its ups and downs, I love her now more than ever. Or at least I thought I did. When I turned in my free ticket voucher from UT at the Times Forum, I was disappointed to receive a ticket in section 305. This was practically the nosebleeds and I wanted to be as close to Miley as possible. Like any sensible fan girl, I threw away my voucher and paid $2,000 for a seat in the first row. I felt like I was in a dream when the show started. A huge picture of Miley’s head appeared
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MORE INFORMATION The articles featured on pages AF1, AF2, AF3 and AF4 (pages 1, 2, 19, 20) are satirical pieces written for April Fools. Stories are intended for humor and in no way reflect any views of the administration of The University of Tampa. Names, email addresses and other forms of identification are based on fiction.
Lifeguard at the Pool
on the screen and she came out on a giant tongue slide. I was in total awe of her grace and elegance as she twerked and flailed on stage. After a few songs, Miley told the crowd that she wanted us to “get slutty.” For encouragement, she took big gulps of water and, to my utter delight, started to spit all over the first row. I was so happy I couldn’t move for 20 minutes. Hannah Montana herself had drenched me in her saliva. Could anything greater ever happen? I decided after the concert that since I had already been blessed with what I essentially considered holy water, I didn’t need to shower for a few days. After about a week, however, my great fortune turned out to be a huge dilemma. My eyes began to water, itch and fill with a thick
discharge. A large rash began to take over my entire face, and I was nearly blind. Finally, after a trip to the health center, the nurse informed me that I had contracted chlamydial conjunctivitis. I knew this couldn’t be sexually transmitted, as no one has wanted to date or even be relatively near me since I began my Miley Cyrus obsession. Luckily, I was put on chlamydia medication in enough time so I will retain my vision, but thanks to Miley, I will have to be on medication for a very long time. If you need advice about your sexually transmitted disease you can contact me at: selene. sanfelice@spartans.ut.edu
Spring Fashions Take Vintage to Another Level By MADISON IRWIN I Have a Tattoo
Forget about flowers and the Easter Bunny. We all know that the only thing us fashion freaks really care about is what the hottest trends are this spring. Last spring was all about graphic leggings, ombre hair and bright pastels––an overall youthful vibe. But this year, trends have been kicked back a few decades––about 60 years that is. That’s right. The day has finally come where we can raid our grandmas’ closets without being judged. Looking elderly is the latest style. Some of these trends include form-fitting and pale-colored cardigans (such as light yellow and green) that can be worn over white button-up blouses. The best way to wear it is to button up every button on the cardigan except for the first one; that’s how all the celebrities are sporting this trend. For bottoms, you can wear either a pair of light-brown slacks or a brown, knee-length skirt with nude stockings. As for your feet, a pair of orthopedic shoes will look drop-dead sexy. “I’m so excited to wear them [orthopedic shoes],” said Kristy Jenkins, a junior business major. “I’ve always thought they looked gorgeous on my grandma, so why wouldn’t they look gorgeous on me?” When it comes to hair trends, a lot of celebrities have been dyeing their hair grey. It won’t be long until all the girls on campus will be walking around with this new do.
“I’ve been struggling with gray hairs since high school and know how annoying it is to constantly be plucking them out. Now that grey hair is in, it’s awesome because I can just go all natural,” said Jessica Lindt, a sophomore theater major. Another big thing is overnight curlers, which will allow you to achieve that perfect poodlelike curl that the elderly seem to adore. Let’s not stop there; old ladies love their accessories just as much as the next college student. And no, I’m not talking about gauges. When it comes to this
specific style, big and chunky plastic jewelry and brooches will be your best friend. Brooches are especially popular and they come in all types, including different animals and flowers. Finish the look off with a pair of reading glasses, and you’re set for the season. If you need some inspiration, you can always just talk to your grandma or anyone from the local retirement communities. If you want to raid my closet or need some fashion advice you can contact me at madison. irwin@spartans.ut.edu
CLOCKWISE: Photo courtesy of coldwatercreek.com, Eran Finkle/Flickr, Kasey Budd/The Minaret
Jordan and Justine, aka J-Squared, are the best Arts + Entertainment editors in The Minaret history.
The Has-Been (and Still is) Music Festival Comes to Tampa By JACKIE BRAJE
Too Hipster to be Writing for The Minaret
Tease that hair and break out that Affliction tee––The Has-Been (and Still Is) Music Fest is raiding Tampa Bay. On April 24, Tampa’s hippest demographic will conglomerate under the sweltering sun at the Curtis Hixon Park to honor all our favorite one-hit wonders and prepare to get physical with headliner Olivia Newton John. If Newton John isn’t the one that you want, fret not, there’s a musical performance for every taste. Bands like Anthrax and Twisted Sister will also be taking the stage with their thrashing, hair-heavy, rock n’ roll power ballads. Bands of such musical eloquence might have been forgotten by some over the
decades, but we simply are not going to take it. And don’t think the younger crowd was forgotten either. Just to name a few, bands like Creed, Daughtry, Papa Roach, Hoobastank, Limp Bizkit, Bowling For Soup and Anvil will also be rocking the park. If you’re not into the headliner, then you’ll certainly be into the eyeliner. This is it, the once in a lifetime music festival we’ve all been waiting for. Come gather at The Has-Been (and Still Is) Music Fest, sponsored by Sham-Wow so you can wipe away those pure tears of joy. If you want to learn about bands that no one has heard of yet or want tips on how to become more hipster you can reach me at jackie.braje@ theminaretonline.com
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Kristin Anderson and Jacqueline French Elected 2014 SG Leaders By DOHA MADANI
Video Editor
“Your new president and vice president winners are Kristin Anderson and Jacqueline French,” announced Eve Haydt, Student Government speaker of assembly and a junior sociology major. President-elect Anderson and Vice President-Elect French have been campaigning for the past two weeks for the two top-tier positions within SG. On Tuesday night, it was announced these women were chosen over opponent Robyn Hurrell, a sophomore accounting and management major, who ran alongside Kyle Benus, a sophomore marketing and public relations major. “We are ecstatic to receive this opportunity. With six years of combined experience we have a very broad understanding of what work we can get started, even now,” said Anderson, a junior public relations and advertising major. “We would like to thank the current Student Government officers for all they have done this year. Without their support and guidance, we probably would not have had the motivation to run.” During candidate speeches last week March 25, Anderson focused on her numerous leadership experiences, calling upon her previous role as SG vice president last year and current presidency
In Other News...
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6 ‘The Real World’
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16 Softball Team Sits Atop SSC Standings
News................................. 2 Diversions........................ 5 A+E................................... 6 Opinion............................. 9 Sports............................. 13
in the Honors Council. She also cited involvement in many other campus organizations. French has also had an active role on campus holding positions such as SG senator, a UT diplomat and she was a recent recipient of a Leadership Achievement award. “As a voter, I would ask myself what have Kristin and I done to consistently show what we want to do over these past three years,” said French, a junior double majoring in international business and government and world affairs. “As most of you know, Kristin and I have six years of combined Student Government experience together.” Election campaigns were largely held over social media, where both Anderson and opponent Hurrell posted pictures of themselves around campus with students, reaching out with their own platforms for changes they would like to see on campus. Hurrell’s campaign was based on a concept called B.E.L.I.E.V.E, addressing some popular students concerns such as better student parking and evaluating student satisfaction with campus dining. Taking a different approach, Anderson and French cited concerns that many needs are not being addressed due to a lack in communication between administration and students. Their platform was to See ELECTIONS Page 3
Dohan Madani/The Minaret
Kristin Anderson delivers her platform speech at the Student Government elections in the Chapel.
Mother Tells ‘Kristin’s Story’ to Alpha Chi Omega Sisters
By DANI CARPENTER
News Writers
Andrea Fuller Cooper spoke at UT about her daughter’s rape, depression and suicide last Thursday. The event, known nationwide as “Kristin’s Story,” was brought to UT by Alpha Chi Omega. “I never dreamed I would lose a child to suicide,” said Cooper in a 2009 recording of Kristin’s Story. Cooper’s daughter, Kristin, killed herself in 1995 shortly after a breakup with her college boyfriend. It wasn’t until after her death that Cooper began to piece her daughter’s life together. Cooper found entries in Kristin’s journal describing just how unhappy she was. The most jarring fact to Cooper was that her daughter had been raped. “I had no clue,” Cooper said. “How many women do you think tell their parents when they’re raped? My guess would be not many.” Whether or not they talk about it, the numbers of women being raped has increased. “One in every four college women are victims of rape or attempted rape,” See KRISTIN Page 3
Photos courtesy of Samantha Fairlie
Andrea Cooper and Alpha Chi sisters pose together after she presented Kristin’s Story.
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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Jessica Keesee
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NEWS + FEATURES Lauren Richey, Editor
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SPORTS
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STAFF WRITERS Khadijah Khan Chandler Callahan Doha Madani
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NEWS + FEATURES
Punch, Juice and Ash: The Stories of NYC Homeless People
By GRIFFIN GUINTA Sports Editor
Most people flock to Florida for Spring Break, but not the Minaret editorial staff. While everyone else was off cozying up at the beach, we journeyed to New York City for the annual College Media Association conference held at the Sheraton Hotel in Times Square. The trip was filled with a multitude of exhilarating times, but there was one night in particular that will forever be etched in my mind: the night I met Ash, Punch and Juice. I woke up with a jolt and desperately searched for my phone to see just how late I’d slept. Much to my delight, it was only about 8:30 p.m. It was Friday night, and while all of the other editors were off hitting the town, I had been in a lethargic slumber. But after waking up, I rekindled a second burst of energy. Perhaps I could still salvage the night. I texted our photo editor Casey Budd, who’d also stayed behind to nap, to see if she was up for doing something. Turns out she had been itching to escape the hotel as well, so we quickly perused the Internet for “fun, cheap things to do in NYC on a Friday night.” In retrospect, it’s a bit embarrassing that we had to search for things to do in New York City, but hey, we were desperate. We thought about going to a comedy club, finding a cheap show or even shopping at one of the thousands of stores that surrounded us, but all of those things required money—something we were running extremely low on. We were both on the verge of taking another nap, when an idea popped into my mind. “Why not do something to help people?” Previously, I had been consumed with guilt as we walked through the city each day. Countless people who were down on their luck approached me at various points during the trip asking for money or food. Given the bustling pace of the streets, I had to keep moving. This burned me inside, as homelessness has always been an issue I’ve been passionate about. In Tampa, I’d gone on several Homeless Outreach trips and decided to pioneer one of my own tonight—even if it was just Casey and I. She seemed excited to go, so we suited up in our warmest clothes and headed for the lobby. The most memorable night of the trip had begun. It always takes a bit of courage to will yourself to leave the comfort of a warm hotel room when you know it’s below freezing outside. Immediately after we left the hotel, we were instantly greeted by a vicious wind that nearly sent my beanie flying. The cool air burned my face and caused my cheeks and ears to swell. Still, we kept moving and soon began to ignore the biting cold as we looked at the magnificent concrete jungle that towered above us. It’s no joke when people say that New York is the “city that never sleeps.” Signs adorned with neon lights lined the street and the sounds of taxicab horns and police sirens echoed through the air. Everywhere we looked, someone was doing something. We figured we could help the most number of people by purchasing non-perishable items. Casey and I loaded up our bags with granola bars from the local Duane Reade convenience store and scoured the city for people in need. At first, our search came to no avail. “Where did they all go?” Casey said at one point. “There were hundreds of them scattered throughout the streets during the day and now it seems like they’ve disappeared.” The night was looking pretty dismal. We’d finally found a mission, but we couldn’t fulfill it. We ventured through Central Park, Times Square and several other tourist-centric locations. Though it was a beautiful walk, the only thing we’d found was overpriced merchandise. As we walked back toward the hotel, I saw what I believed to be a homeless man sitting on a box. For someone who was devoid of shelter and sitting in the biting cold, he looked quite content. He wore a goofy grin on his face and sported
p1ndar/Flickr Central Park is a scenic spot in the Big Apple and is where Guinta met one of the homeless men he talked to.
a backwards cap that read, “I LOVE NY” in bold typeface. He slapped his hands against the plastic box as if he were freestyling some type of drumbeat and met us with a smile. “Evening, friends!” he said as he rocked his head from side to side. “What brings you out here on such a cold evening?” We explained that we were simply trying to help people out who might be in need. He gratefully accepted a few snacks and proceeded to tell us that he believed he was on the verge of winning the lottery. He handed us his business card which read, “ASH: No Fear, No Surprise, No Hesitation, No Doubt,” which also included his phone number. He gave us strict orders to call him if he ever won the lottery. He intended to reimburse us for the gift we’d given him. Ash represents hope. Despite his situation, he still retained an affable and personable demeanor. There’s no doubt in my mind that Ash will someday win the lottery. Since meeting Ash, Casey and I had encountered a few other homeless people along the way. Many of them denied our food offerings and one even condemned us as spawns of the devil. We remembered that many of these people are disconnected from society and are rightfully apprehensive about accepting gifts from outsiders. After a string of unsuccessful meetings, we eventually met a man wrapped in a cocoon made of sleeping bags outside of a storefront. He was missing a considerable amount of teeth and his stringy hair was sneaking out from underneath his wool beanie. His eyes darted back and forth as he scanned the busy cityscape around him. When we arrived, he quickly shifted his gaze, but his eyes widened when he saw we had food in our bags. We offered him as much as he wanted and he excitedly accepted the food. We came to find out that his name was Juice. Juice spoke very little, but when he did speak you knew he really meant it. We mostly shot the breeze over mundane topics such as the weather, how weird Florida is and why we were in New York in the first place. When we finally said our goodbyes, though, Juice flashed a huge grin that pushed away the worn wrinkles on his face. I saw a man that, for at least a moment, was happy. Juice represents joy. He wasn’t the most outward person, but there was a certain twinkle in his eye that held the essence of a hidden appreciation for the little things in life. Without realizing it, Casey and I had spent two hours tracing up and down the streets of New York. We’d nearly depleted our supply of granola bars and figured we should start heading back to the hotel in order to prepare for our last full day in the city. On the way back, my phone buzzed and a text popped up from Jordan Llanes, my fellow sports editor, asking where we were and what we were doing. We had initially planned to bring our evening to a close, but Jordan’s appetite dictated otherwise. He wanted to find a pizza
shop, which in New York is like looking for a retirement home in Florida: they’re everywhere. Nearly a block away from Sbarro’s pizza, I stopped to see a young boy with matted hair and a smile, tugging on the jackets of several pedestrians in pursuit of something to eat. To my annoyance, only a few people gave him second notice and only one stopped to hand him something to eat. “Sorry, Jordan. Pizza will have to wait,” I said, dragging my two companions in the direction of the little boy. As I bent over to hand him the remainder of our snacks, a shorter man with a scruffy beard and hardened, callused face came over and instructed the boy to say thank you. The man had olive tan skin and rich black hair and wore a black zip-up sweatshirt that clearly was not warm enough. He explained that he was the boy’s father and introduced himself as “Punch.” “My real name’s Ariel… but I ain’t a Disney princess. My friends call me Punch ‘cause I used to be a boxer out in Cali. You guys ever been out there?” The man spoke with a raspy voice that contained traces of a subtle Spanish accent. He later revealed he was Puerto Rican. Upon meeting these two, I thought of Will and Jaden Smith in the movie The Pursuit of Happyness. He was very protective of his child and we could all tell how much it burned him to know he couldn’t provide for his son, Ariel Jr., the way he always wanted to. We talked to Punch for a half hour, covering a wide variety of topics like boxing, Ariel Jr.’s favorite sports, New York City and simply life in general. This man was deep. Deeper than the sharp calluses and scars etched in his face from a long career in the ring. Punch taught us a lot that night. He kept telling us that he was a smart guy and he certainly proved it by the end of the conversation. More than anything, he wanted us to have the mentality of a boxer. “Never let ‘em knock you down. And if they do, don’t show that it affected you,” he said. At several points in the conversation, he scolded his son for being disrespectful and reminded him to always treat women with the utmost respect. We hugged Punch and his son goodbye, but he halted us in our tracks. “If it isn’t too much trouble, would you mind saying a prayer for my son and I?” I happily obliged and we all squeezed hands and came together as one. Sitting on the plane on our way back to Tampa, I thought of all the wonderful memories in New York: Broadway shows, sightseeing, shopping. Ultimately though, the memory that shone brightest in my mind was meeting Ash, Punch and Juice.Meeting them was a reminder that we’re all connected in this harsh world. No matter where someone is, they always have a story. Griffin Guinta can be reached at griffin. guinta@theminaretonline.com
NEWS + FEATURES
THE MINARET | APRIL 3 2014
Student government leadership positions announced Tuesday ELECTIONS from page 1 their positions, they will be working on approach institutional roadblocks and applications for the 2014 to 2015 SG increase transparency with senior staff Executive Board and Cabinet, which will members in order to streamline change be made available to students on April 8. within the university. “We are so honored to have been “‘The Doing Work In Pencil Skirts’ voted on by the students,” Anderson said. campaign plans on doing more by fostering “This speaks volumes about how much and building relationships with all on- UT Spartans care.” campus offices,” said Anderson during Doha Madani can be reached at doha. candidate speeches. “To dream more by madani@theminaretonline.com coming up with effective and innovative solutions to student problems.” The announcement of the winners was followed by clapping and shouts of general approval within the assembly on Tuesday. Another newly elected leader is excited to be working with the duo starting in the fall: Kyle McGee, a junior international business major chosen to represent SG as a campus wide senator. “I think it was a good choice. For me, doing research on what they [Anderson and French] were running for, I saw that they were focusing on what the school really needs,” McGee said. Some students say they were not at all surprised by the announcement. Anisha Russell, a senior marine biology major, felt no shock when it was announced Anderson and French had won the election. “I didn’t vote, to be honest. Mostly because I am graduating,” Russell said. “I expected them to win, just based off all their experience. But I really do think they will do a decent job.” Anderson and French will be sworn Doha Madani/The Minaret in to their positions during Leadership Jaqueline French was elected the 2014 Awards Night on April 15. As part of Student Government vice president.
Sorority hosts event to raise awareness about domestic violence KRISTIN from page 1 suggests U.S. Sexual Assault Statistics. A woman is raped every two minutes in America, FBI records show. Samantha Fairlie, an Alpha Chi Omega sister, wrote the winning essay that brought Kristin’s Story to UT and is passionate about domestic violence prevention. Tampa is one of the top cities for sexual assault, according to Fairlie. “[It] is also the strip club capital of the U.S,” she said. Fairlie said she wanted Cooper to see that we needed her to speak here at UT as opposed to another larger university. “I wrote [the essay] from my heart,” she said. “I just wanted to do something
bigger than myself.” Even after Kristin’s Story, Fairlie hopes that Cooper’s message resonates with UT. “I think [Cooper’s] visit really opened up the eyes to the campus community on this ongoing issue and how real it is.” She notes that it should serve as a reminder for women, especially that rape can happen to “anyone of us at anytime.” Cooper has been actively presenting Kristin’s Story since 1997 and claims that the 2013-2014 year will be her last year touring. She has visited over 300 colleges and spoken at 22 conferences internationally. Danielle Carpenter can be reached at danielle.carpenter@spartans.ut.edu
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Andrea Cooper visits UT to help raise awareness about domestic violence with the Alpha Chi Omega chapter.
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4 APRIL 3 2014 | THE MINARET
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THE MINARET | APRIL 3 2014
Diversions
Sudoku
5
The Weekend Update Baseball vs. Palm Beach Atlantic April 4 Sam Bailey Baseball Field 6 p.m. - 9 p.m. Free with UT ID
Women’s Lacrosse vs. Saint Leo
April 4 Naimoli Family Athletic and Intramural Complex 7 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. Free with UT ID
The Wonder Years and Fireworks April 4 The Orpheum 6 p.m. $16
Afro-Brazilian Drumming and Dance Performance
PrintableSudokuPuzzles.net
Picture
WEEK of the
Photo courtesy of Gabi Guinta UT students perform in Six Women With Brain Death musical.
April 5 Cass Gym 4 p.m. Free with UT ID
Festa Italiana 2014
April 6 Centennial Park 11 a.m. $5 advance online, $10 at the gate
Music for Organ and Piano (and Harpsichord) April 6 Sykes Chapel and Center for Family Values 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. Free with UT ID
Film Director and Writer Michael Tully April 9 Vaughn Center ninth floor 6:30 p.m. - 8 p.m. Free with UT ID
Viva España
April 10 Plant Hall Grand Salon 7:30 p.m. Free
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APRIL 3 2014 | THE MINARET
Arts + Entertainment
By KAI MILLER
ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT
‘Six Women With Brain Death’ Puts a Musical Spin on Social Commentary
Arts + Entertainment Writer
During the last weekend of Women’s History Month, the University of Tampa’s department of Speech, Theatre and Dance presented Six Women With Brain Death or Expiring Minds Want To Know at Falk Theatre. Through a series of songs, dances and sketches, this musical comedy took a look at life and pop culture from the feminine perspective. The all-female cast consisted of UT students Allie Abate, Gabi Guinta, Anna Morris, Mollie Posnik, Elisha Sayed and Kristen Walker. The performance was comprised of 12 different scenes that explored TV soap operas, “genuine press-on nails,” Barbie and Ken’s secret fantasy life, what “is” and what “is not” feminine and much more. For Morris, a junior and musical theatre major, Six Women With Brain Death can be best described as “a musical on social commentary.” “Each scene has its own unique social commentary on how people are desensitized to the media,” Morris said. One of the most unforgettable scenes features Morris portraying the role of “Rambi,” a cross between Bambi and Rambo. Throughout the scene, the audience is taken on a detour through the forest, where Rambi can be found lecturing her fellow furry friends about the cruelty of life while rejecting Disney’s notion of fairy tale endings. Although Morris has contributed her talents to several different theatre productions, since her freshman year, she describes her current role to be “one of the best experiences I have had so far at UT.” Under the direction of UT drama
Photo courtesy of Gabi Guinta
UT Musical Six Women With Brain Death or Expiring Minds Want To Know explores the influence of media on today’s society through song and dance.
professor Karla Hartley, Morris, along with her five other castmates, rehearsed for this production for the past month and a half. “We have worked so hard and it’s been very awesome. The audience’s reactions have been great,” Morris said. The “Rambi” scene was certainly a crowd pleaser, noted for its satire and costume designs. But for some audience members, like junior John Mill Sap, the overall content of the show was most interesting. As a theatre student, Sap has been able to attend a countless number of UT productions but described Six Women With Brain Death as a unique show that he’s “never really seen before.”
“Not a whole lot of people are willing to say what was said in the show and really push the envelope which was really, really refreshing for me,” Sap said. The discourse throughout the show involves different characters that are in some way affected by the media. Each role is symbolic of how the media is capable of influencing one’s own thoughts and shaping personal opinions. For junior and musical theatre student Elisah Sayed, being a part of Six Women With Brain Death proved to be not only a fun experience but also served as an opportunity to deliver a timely message. “I think the show is about how the
media can influence people to believe what they hear and let that form how they think and who they are as a person,” Sayed said. “I think that’s very relevant to society today with social media like Facebook and Instagram.” In portraying several different characters affected by the media, Sayed hopes she was able to convey to audience members the importance of being a freethinker in today’s society. “I think people can really watch [the show] and apply [it] to themselves. It gives them a chance to think outside of the box and not be afraid to stand out,” Sayed said. Kai Miller can be reached at kai. miller@spartans.ut.edu
‘The Real World’ To Hold Auditions In Tampa By SONNY BILLOTE
Arts + Entertainment Writer
Casting directors for the infamous reality show The Real World are coming to Tampa in search of unique individuals to be members of the show’s 30th season. Each season, a diverse group of seven 18 to 24-yearolds is chosen to be a part of the show and have every aspect of their lives filmed for everyone to see. No shame, no secrets––their lives become an open book. On April 5, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., the casting directors will be at Hooter’s at Channelside, eager to meet the prospective new reality stars. As for the kinds of people who fit the part, Senior Casting Director Martin Booker described some of the qualities he looks for in the cast members. “I look for someone who has a big personality, but the big personality doesn’t mean crazy, it just means that they’re them authentically and they are able to kind of communicate who they are and they’re opinionated, they’re dynamic,” Booker said. “I look for people who have that special quality, people who have gone through certain things in life that I think make them interesting.” Ryan Deitrich, a 22-year-old junior finance major at UT, plans to be one of the 300 expected applicants in line at Hooter’s
on April 5. “I think the auditions coming to Tampa is a great idea because the young 20s population will be a very attractive demographic to The Real World’s casting,” Deitrich said. “I will be trying out as it is a good opportunity to learn exactly what the real world is all about and for them to hear my story.” According to Booker, the directors usually visit around 20 cities in their search, depending on where they went the previous time and what cities have worked well in the past. Depending on the size of the city, the number of applicants differs in each place, but they are expecting about 300 in Tampa. Bobby Goodman, a 21-year-old senior writing major at UT, is also planning on trying out and believes he would be a great candidate. “I think I would be great as a reality TV star,” Goodman said. “Being from the Jersey Shore, I’d really like to show the world we’re not all muscle-building meatheads like we’ve been portrayed as. Plus, I like being on camera.” The Real World/Facebook All applicants are advised to show up MTV is holding auditions for its seminal reality show The Real World in Tampa on April 5. early and bring a photo ID. For those who will not be available to attend Tampa’s coming into The Real World auditions is to looking for the best version on you,” casting but are still interested in being on the be genuine and not overthink the interview. Booker said. show, applications are also available online. “Come being the best you, I’m not Sonny Billote can be reached at sonny. The best advice Booker can give for necessarily looking for the craziest, I’m billotte@spartans.ut.edu
ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT
THE MINARET | APRIL 3 2014
7
Bollywood Oscars Make American Debut In Tampa By BRIANNA KWASNIK Arts + Entertainment Writer
Indian film, fashion and culture are expected in Tampa for the 15th annual International Indian Film Academy (IIFA) Awards, also known as the “Bollywood Oscars.” The weekend, filled with various events and awards, will run from April 24 to April 26, with the awards ceremony hosted at Raymond James Stadium on April 26. The show will be hosted by Shahid Kapoor and Farhan Akhtar, whose film Bhaag Milkha Bhaag received the most nominations at 10. Every year, the international awards are held in a different country. This is the first time the event will be held in the U.S. Previous locations include Amsterdam, Toronto, Singapore and Bangkok. After India, America is the second largest market for Indian films. In the past 10 years, over 50 Indian films have been shot in the North America. So why Tampa? That was the question on many people’s minds as the planners discussed the topic with two dozen journalists in January in Los Angeles. The decision regarding location came down to commitment from local supporters, according to Hillsborough County Commissioner Al Higginbotham. According to tbo. com, one of the main reasons Tampa got the event is the recent rise in the Indian population. Compared to other major U.S. cities, the local Indian population is estimated at 35,000. The appreciation and acceptance of Indian culture played a big role in the decision to bring the awards to Tampa. “Unlike many of the other markets, there was a general interest from
IIFA Awards/ Facebook The International Indian Film Academy Awards will take place in Tampa from April 23 to April 26, commemorating the IIFA’s first event in the United States.
the the Tampa Bay area in making this the best IIFA in a 15-year period,” Higginbotham said at a press conference in Los Angeles, according to the Tampa Bay Times. “I can assure you that Tampa Bay is a gorgeous place,” actress Madhuri Dixit-Nene said. “It has got a lot to offer. People there will welcome you with a lot of warmth. I am honored to be associated with them.” “I know in the past the show has been held in large cities; however, Tampa has played host to some major events, and given the support the organization has received from the community in general, the government
and business leaders of Tampa Bay and I believe it is a good location,” said Jaini Chhaya, adviser of the Indian Cultural Association on campus and associate director of international admissions. It’s anticipated the awards will see a bigger turnout than its largest show, which took place in Toronto in 2011 with 30,000 people in attendance. The Raymond James Stadium has the capacity to hold more than 65,000 people. Tickets for the event range from $93 to $3,295 and can be purchased through Ticketmaster. The show will be broadcast to 600 million viewers in over 100 different countries. Tampa will welcome the IIFA on
April 23 with the IIFA Stomp at Curtis Hixon Park beginning at 7 p.m. On April 24, IIFA Rocks will be held at the Tampa Convention Center. Stars will begin walking the green carpet at 6 p.m., followed by the main event at 8 p.m. At 2 p.m. on April 25, the media briefing is scheduled at the Hilton hotel downtown, followed by a short film screening at 3 p.m. All the fun will come to an end on April 26 when the glitz and glamour of Bollywood culture begin their walks down the green carpet at 4:30 p.m. for the final event of the weekend, the ceremony, scheduled to start at 7 p.m. Brianna Kwasnik can be reached at brianna.kwasnik@spartans.ut.edu
‘Divergent’ Film Adaptation Pleases Old and New Fans By CLAIRE FARROW
Arts + Entertainment Writer
Without a doubt, Divergent is cut from the same celluloid as The Hunger Games. Few things beat the satisfactory feeling that you get after seeing a movie that connects with you on a personal level, whether it be because of its story or cast. Not only did this film renew my hope in the movie industry (ironically this occurs while watching a dystopian story), but it also made me happy to know that there are more people out there who take successful books seriously. Shailene Woodley (The Secret Life of the American Teenager, The Descendants) gives her audience a satisfying performance and portrayed the perfect Tris. She played her character as she should—as an underdog who, despite being able to push past her insecurities and be the hero, doesn’t become a Super Girl. Tris is a believable character, and Woodley brings her to life on screen. Theo James’ (Underworld: Awakening, The Inbetweeners Movie) portrayal of Four is also amazing. Although it would be easy to play Four as the typical brooding bad boy with a sensitive side, James does more than that, giving his character a depth that enhances our connectedness to him, much to the satisfaction of the audience. Woodley’s and James’ characters’ chemistry on-screen is undeniable, and they complement each other very well. The rest of the casting was equally brilliant. Kate Winslet (Titanic, Revolutionary Road) succeeds in creating a villain whose motives can be understood by the audience while still disliking her to the nth degree. Even though their roles are relatively small, Ashley Judd’s (Heat, Double Jeopardy) and Tony Goldwyn’s (Scandal, Ghost) performances as Tris’ parents are warm, inviting and well done. Also, Tris’ fellow initiates and other
supporting characters helped to round out the film and kept it flowing smoothly, rather than it turning into meaningless filler. While the film version does differ slightly from the book, the end result still stayed true to the novel’s central narrative. It is hard to go into too much detail about the differences, but the film version is a more mysterious, less detailoriented version of the book. For instance, the book is written in first person; the film has a voiceover by Tris at the beginning and the end, but it is all presented to the film audience in third person. Also, a few of Tris’s relationships aren’t as fleshed out, the ranking during the initiation is somewhat changed (a creative license to make the film more dramatic, I’m sure) and her relationship with her parents throughout the film is muted. Perhaps my only criticism of the film would be a little bit more explanation of the “fears” (I don’t want to spoil anything for those who haven’t read the book) and with that why “Four” is such as significant name. Even with these few criticisms, this film blew me away. I was able to empathize with the characters completely and believe that what was going on was real. The visuals were spectacular and brilliant, transporting me to a broken down, oddly beautiful world. The story captured me and kept my full attention for the entirety of the film’s suspenseful duration. Divergent is a cinematic treat for both lovers of the book and those who have yet to discover it. Claire Farrow can be reached at claire. farrow@spartans.ut.edu
5 out of 5 stars
Divergent/Facebook
Divergent, starring Shailene Woodley takes an enthralling spin on the young adult novel of the same name.
8 APRIL 3 2014 | THE MINARET
ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT
‘South Park’ Video Game Provides Inappropriate By JORDAN LLANES Sports Editor
For years, there were whispers of another South Park game. This year, those whispers became a reality. On March 4, South Park: Stick of Truth was released, and what an adventure it has been for both fans of South Park and role playing games (RPGs). South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker teamed up with developer Obsidian Entertainment to create the ultimate role playing game for fans of the show. Obsidian had previously developed RPG hits such as Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords and Fallout: New Vegas, so it had the experience necessary to make the game a hit. Parker and Stone’s influence on the game was heavy, as they also voiced most of the characters (like in the show), and the storyline is definitely one that sprouted from their fantastical minds. You start off as the New Kid, a South Park/Facebook player that you get to design and In South Park: The Stick Of Truth, South Park’s signature brand of dark humor is translated into an endlessly entertaining video game. modify as the game goes on. After being kicked out of the house and told and lead the charge against an army what class they want to be a part of: gameplay, story, setting and characters to go make new friends, you head out of Nazi zombies. The unbelievably warrior, magician, thief or Jew. Your made me feel as if I was participating into the streets of South Park. It’s not out-there storyline written by Parker skills and mana (magic) are dependent in my very own South Park movie. The long until you run into Butters, who and Stone goes along perfectly with on which class the player selects. For game is surely going to be one of the invites you to partake in a fantasy the general idiocy and dirty comedy example, I chose the warrior class, so bestsellers and best overall game of game involving a war between the that is seen in every episode of the I had basic, ranged and special attacks the year, and it’s definitely deserving humans (led by Cartman, who is a long-running series. Cartman sprouts according to that class, in addition to the of that moniker. wizard, and Princess Kenny) and the out profanity-laced and hilarious ability to use my mana to unleash deadly Jordan Llanes can be reached at elves (led by Kyle and Stan). quotes almost every time he talks, and fart-based attacks on my enemies. jordan.llanes@theminaretonline.com This eventually leads you into a Kyle whines a lot about Cartman’s Overall, South Park: Stick of saga in which your character gets a new shenanigans. No surprises here. Truth is easily one of the best games moniker from Cartman (Sir or Miss At first, the controls are a little I have played in a while. As an avid D*******g) you go on to fight difficult getPage used2to, but once the South Park fan as well as a hardcore 14 Minaret TBwhile OH Ad.qxp_Layout 1 2/20/14 10:06toAM ginger hall monitors at South Park player gets in to the action, they pose gamer, it was definitely an experience 5 out of 5 stars Elementary, get abducted by aliens no problem. The player gets to choose that I enjoyed. The combination of
Cooley Law School
Open House Tampa Bay | Thurs., April 3 | 6-7:30 p.m. Student and area alumni Q&A panel • Optional campus tour Information about academic programs, scholarships and financial aid Informal discussion with campus deans and professors Register to attend at cooley.edu or register at the door.
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Cooley Law School, Tampa Bay Campus
View a Webinar Schedule a Visit|Tour Attend an Info Session Visit cooley.edu ICG.0214.008.AD
THE MINARET | APRIL 3 2014
Opinion
9
Former Ukrainian Prime Minister: ‘Wipe Out’ Russians By VANESSA RIGHEIMER Opinion Columnist
A leaked tape of former Ukrainian prime minister Yulia Tymoshenko making anti-Russian comments will most likely hurt her presidential campaign and stain her promise to help unify the fractured country of Ukraine. A recorded telephone call of hers was broadcast on Russian state television last Tuesday, according to the Washington Post. During this call, she suggested it was time to “take up arms and go wipe out” the Russians. While she does not deny it was her voice on the tape, she has defended herself by stating that the recordings were manipulated and taken out of context. The decision made in November by former Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych to walk away from joining the European Union and stand with Russia is what has the country split in two. “I will be the candidate of Ukrainian unity. The west and centre of Ukraine has always voted for me, but I was born in the east, in Dnipropetrovsk,” said Tymoshenko, according to The Guardian. While the West opposes Yanukovych’s decision to join Russia and is pro-European, the East of Ukraine tends to be in support the Russian alliance, according to CNN. Tymoshenko’s promise to unite Eastern and Western Ukraine lost its
authenticity after the comments she made in the recorded telephone call. During her phone call with Nestor Shufrych, the two discuss how Russia must be destroyed. At one point in the conversation, Shufrych asks Tymoshenko what they shall do with the eight million Russians who are living in the Ukraine. She answers, “They must be killed with nuclear weapons,” according to Metro. Though Tymoshenko claimed on her public Twitter page that the comment was misconstrued and she was not talking about Ukrainian citizens, she will undoubtedly lose support from the Russian-focused East. Petro Poroshenko is leading the presidential election with almost 25 percent of registered voters supporting him, whereas Tymoshenko was backed by only a little over 8 percent of voters, according to a poll conducted by the Center for Social and Marketing Research. The conversation Tymoshenko had with Shufrych clearly shows how passionate she is for her country and her desire to defend Ukraine. However, during a time when violent riots formed in opposition of Yanukovych’s decision are ruling the streets and taking lives, the Ukraine doesn’t need another violent voice to rule them. Because of this, Tymoshenko cannot sincerely convey that she wants to mend the country and then have private conversations condemning
Minny Robot/Flickr
Yulia Tymoshenko’s unintentional outburst reveals violent frustration towards Russia.
Russians, laying out plans to eliminate them. Her anti-Russian sentiments only fuel the fire in regards to the conflict between the East and the West of Ukraine. Regardless of which candidate wins the presidential election in Ukraine, the new president will have a lot of work to take on starting his or her first day in office. Due to political turmoil and economic mismanagement, Ukraine has accepted the offer of a $14 billion to $18 billion bailout from
the International Monetary Fund, according to The Guardian. The new president will have to make some tough economic reform decisions that will certainly decrease the standard of living in a country that is already considered impoverished. However, if Ukraine can get through the economic reforms and join the EU, it may be closer to having a more stable economy and country overall. Vanessa Righeimer can be reached at vanessa.righeimer@spartans.ut.edu
Families of Flight 370 Told ‘No Survivors’ Via Text Message
By ELIZABETH ROCKETT Opinion Writer
Imagine what it would feel like to be awaiting the arrival of your family at Tampa International Airport and suddenly learn that the plane had disappeared without a trace and hear nothing more for weeks. Family members of the passengers on Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 have been awaiting news regarding the missing aircraft since March 8. Finally, after 17 days of waiting, Malaysia Airlines sent out a text message to family members delivering some bad news. According to CNN, the text message read, “Malaysia Airlines deeply regrets that we have to assume beyond a reasonable doubt that MH370 has been lost and that none of those on board survived.” This text message was followed up by a press conference held by Malaysia’s Prime minister to further address the families of the lost passengers as well as inform the rest of the world. It seems people are concerned with Malaysia Airline’s chosen method of delivering this news. “I don’t know that I would love being informed by a text message, but I would understand,” said Cassandra Luddy, a senior criminology major. “I think initially, I might be confused or upset that my loved one had been pronounced dead via text message, but once I realized why they chose to do it that way, I would understand.” An article from ABC explained Malaysia Airlines CEO Ahmad Jauhari Yahya’s reasoning for notifying families via text message. At his press conference, Ahmad defended the company’s decision: “...[Our] sole
latest update of missing- flight/Facebook
Families of the missing Malaysian flight’s passengers are distraught over the insensitive way they were informed by Malaysia Airlines.
and only motivation last night was to ensure that in the incredibly short amount of time available to us, the families heard the tragic news before the world did.” A text message was certainly the most effective way to notify numerous family members simultaneously before the press got hold of the story. If it were me, I would prefer to find out from the airline directly, regardless of how they informed me, before the story leaked to the entire world. “Yes, it sounds cold on the surface,” commented user Samuel Sands on the
CNN article. “But given the situation and the state of technology and the general vultureness of media, a text may have been the most humane, not to mention efficient, way.” On the other hand, in response to Sands, CNN user Jacobo Cortes commented: “Even a letter could have been more “humane”, [sic] a text message was not the proper way to tell the relatives what really happened.” Cortes is not looking at the big picture in this situation. As Sands stated in his comment, on the surface, a text message may appear very
insensitive, but I believe Malaysia Airlines officials’ actions were nothing but thoughtful. We must keep in mind that they did not want families to learn of their conclusion from anyone other than them. Learning that you have lost a loved one is not easy, no matter how you receive the news. Malaysia Airlines dealt with this situation in a responsible manner, ensuring that the people closest to the lost passengers found out before the rest of the world. Elizabeth Rockett can be reached at elizabeth.rockett@spartans.ut.edu
10 APRIL 3 2014 | THE MINARET
OPINION
Ellen Page Tweets Response to Pastor’s Homophobic Letter By AVERY TWIBLE Opinion Columnist
Some people just know exactly what to write with 140 characters: case in point, Ellen Page. The 26-year-old used every last character to write the best tweet I’ve read in a long time when she took to Twitter on March 22 to respond to a hate message she received from a homophobic pastor. The message from the pastor wasn’t released publicly, but Page wrote a response for her almost 900,000 Twitter followers to see. The tweet read, “2 da Pastor who wrote me-Being gay isn’t a belief.My soul isnt struggling& I don’t want arms of Heavenly Father around me.A girls arms? Yes.” The tweet is currently at around 23,600 favorites and 13,800 retweets with these numbers still rising every day. Page has received an outpour of support since coming out as gay this past February during The Human Rights Campaign’s Time To Thrive conference, according to The Huffington Post. During her speech at the conference, Page said, “I’m here today because I am gay... and because maybe I can make a difference. To help others have an easier and more hopeful time. Regardless, for me, I feel a personal obligation and a social responsibility.” Page proved herself again as a respectable woman with her response to the pastor’s letter. She took the high road and made this anonymous pastor look like a fool without sinking down to his level of condemnation. She kept her dignity and set a good example for everyone to stay proud. Despite the immense support she’s gotten, there will always be critics who believe their way is the best way. The pastor who allegedly wrote the letter to Page is a good
example of someone who thinks he has the right to tell another how to live his or her life. We don’t know exactly what was written in the ignorant message, but it appears he took the time out of his day to give her instructions on how to find salvation after she wrongly “chose” to be gay. “It is a shame that there are so many people who... choose to antagonize others about something that is not a choice. Unfortunately, all of the religious groups who are allies to our community are tossed to the side because it is this sort of negativity that gets highlighted,” said Christian Reich, president of GLTSBA Pride at UT. The pastor who sent Page this message is certainly not representative of all religious people, groups or affiliations but just an ignorant individual who feels entitled to belittle other people. The young Canadian movie star handled the situation with grace and tact where she could have chosen a much different approach. “My spirit suffered, my mental health suffered and my relationships suffered… And I’m standing here today, with all of you, on the other side of all that pain,” Page said at the Time to Thrive conference regarding her time in the closet, according to The Independent. Since coming out as gay, Page has clearly been happier. She is trying to help others with their battles while working through hers, and this pastor felt the need to rain on her parade. He must have thought, due to his religious position, that he had a better idea for her life and happiness than she did. Her wonderful tweet proved him wrong and undoubtedly inspired others to feel more confident and proud. Ellen Page is a hero in my eyes. Avery Twible can be reached at avery. twible@spartans.ut.edu
ellen page/Facebook
After Page was instructed to seek salvation for “choosing” to be gay, her response was eloquent and heartfelt.
#CancelColbert Trends After Show’s Racial Tweet
the colbert report/Facebook
Stephen Colbert often walks the line with his crude humor, but he may have finally gone too far. By JAKE KONISZEWSKI Opinion Columnist
If it weren’t for The Colbert Report on Comedy Central, I wouldn’t know anything about what’s going on in the world. I find host Stephen Colbert’s satire more appealing than the straightforward news anchor, and I like how he’s able to call out news stations and newsworthy figures on their poor story coverage and bad behavior. However, Colbert’s latest satirical jab has backfired. During a Colbert Report episode on March 26, Colbert discussed the Washington Redskins Orgininal Americans Foundation (founded by
Redskins owner Dan Snyder), an organization that benefits Native Americans, according to cleveland.com: “Folks, this move by Dan Snyder inspires me, because my show has frequently come under attack for having a so-called offensive mascot, my beloved character Ching Chong Ding Dong. ... Offensive or not–– NOT––Ching Chong is part of the unique heritage of the Colbert Nation that cannot change. But I’m willing to show the Asian community that I care by introducing the Ching Chong Ding Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever. ... I owe all
this sensitivity to Redskins owner Dan Snyder. So Asians, send your thank-you letters to him, not me,” Colbert said. The main controversy surrounding Colbert’s joke came after a tweet from The Colbert Report’s twitter account, which read, “I am willing to show #Asian community I care by introducing the Ching-Chong DingDong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever.” Those who saw the tweet were offended by Colbert’s comment and #CancelColbert was soon trending. Colbert’s supporters and condemners battled it out on Twitter. I can understand people getting upset over the tweet if they hadn’t seen the entire skit on The Colbert Report. I was born and raised in Northern Virginia, so I grew up hearing a lot about the Redskins. Every now and then, the Redskins are pressured by Native Americans to change their name due to its racist nature. While it was nice of Snyder to set up the foundation, I couldn’t help but feel like he was thinking, “How much money do I have to throw at the problem until it goes away?” Suzan Shown Harjo, a longtime supporter of changing the Redskins’ name, called the creation of the foundation “somewhere between a PR assault and bribery,” according to The Big Story. The writers of The Colbert Report were satirizing Snyder’s decision to set up the foundation while the Washington Redskins are still named with a slur, especially since they included the offensive term in the title of this foundation meant to help those they are being derogatory against. The Twitter mobs should have
probably checked some facts before getting angry and overreacting, although I know that doing some research before speaking is not a strength of most people who comment on the Internet. As for the writers over at The Colbert Report, they probably should have thought through that tweet a little more; it was a little too out of context They usually do a good job with this sort of thing, but hey, we all have our off days. Unfortunately, due to the controversy, people aren’t focusing on the issue of the Redskins’ name. I’m aware that football is full of tradition, and the NFL won’t change the name of a team unless they absolutely must, but c’mon––it’s a racial slur. Snyder has no plans to change the name, saying it “captures the best of who we are and who we can be, by staying true to our history and honoring the deep and enduring values our name represents,” according to The Big Story. The enduring value here seems to be a stubbornness in continuing to use an offensive name. Call me crazy, but I don’t see why Snyder would be proud of that. Change occurs over the years because people grow wiser, implement more ethical laws and realize that some ideas aren’t as good as they originally thought. That’s why we no longer have slavery, use chloroform as an anesthetic or wear bell bottoms. While the name “Redskins” may be rooted in tradition, I think it’s time they change the name. Whether the name is changed or not, Colbert’s show shouldn’t be cancelled, especially due to the overreaction of a poorly executed tweet. Jake Koniszewski can be reached at john.koniszewski@spartans.ut.edu
OPINION
THE MINARET | APRIL 3 2014
11
12 APRIL 3 2014 | THE MINARET
By HANNAH WEBSTER Opinion Columnist
I have slapped 3 men in my life. The first one was fair, as it was due to infidelity. The second one, in contrast, was entirely inexcusable and involved too much alcohol (sorry, Robert), but the slap I delivered most recently was driven by a motive that is still confusing to me. Though cleverly disguised by many small issues, the entire disagreement with this man was centered on the lack of a relationship title. He was not technically my boyfriend, yet I had given 6 months of my life to him under the impression that we were exclusive. As it turned out, that wasn’t quite the case. Failing to define a relationship appears to be more common amongst those of our generation. We’ve even been deemed the
OPINION
Unlabeled Relationships: A Guide to the New Norm “hook-up generation” by media. More people are opting for friends with benefits arrangements or sometimes just a large series of one night stands. Even those who find someone they see as a potential significant other are hesitant to commit, perhaps out of reluctance to take themselves off the market completely. I’ve not only been subjected to this, but I’m guilty of it as well. “I do think people shy away from serious relationships because they want to have the ‘full’ and ‘complete’ college experience,” said sophomore elementary education major Kelsey Gonsowski. “I think that people are more likely to have one night stands or have someone who they constantly hookup with but they have no real commitment to them.” In my experience with the aforementioned boy, there was no mystery as to why he wouldn’t call me his girlfriend; he blatantly told me right from the start that
Mira (on the wall)/Flickr
Blurring the lines between friends with benefits and having an official title is a regular occurrence in college.
he wasn’t looking for that kind of thing. I didn’t worry about it at the time, figuring that we would have a short fling and that would be that. But 6 months later, I realized I was basically in a conventional relationship with this guy, minus the title. I was attached to him the way my friends were to their boyfriends. And that was a problem. That’s where issues arise with these untitled affairs. As long as the two of you are on the same page, it’s perfect. But the second one of you starts wanting something more, or perhaps something less, and it isn’t addressed, the countdown to the demise of your arrangement begins. Another problem that comes with these undefined relationships is the rules for ending them. When you start seeing anyone and it becomes clear that it won’t go anywhere, the method for breaking it off is largely dependent on how you characterize the interactions between the two of you. If the relationship was mostly just texting and maybe one or two dates, you might be able to get away with a “fade out” approach if you’re really uncomfortable with direct confrontation. In contrast, if you’re in a fullblown relationship, ending it usually requires an awkward conversation at a Starbucks with way too much emotion and crying from one or both parties to be publicly acceptable. Some people wind up with the impression that they can use the former technique if the words “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” are never put into effect. While we all know it’s easier to try and pretend a relationship didn’t happen or hope that the person simply gets the idea, everyone should have a sense of when that just isn’t right, especially if you’ve been on both sides of the situation. This lack of clarification or insensitivity to the feelings of a person you were “just
hanging out with” often leads to an end that is much messier than necessary. Don’t be afraid of confrontation. The person who has to receive the not-sohappy news is not always entirely innocent. It is tempting to hate someone for not having feelings for you, but it’s entirely insensible. While honesty may hurt, it will be easier in the long run than being led on by false hope. The anti-label/anti-commitment tendencies associated with our generation don’t seem to be going out of style anytime soon. If you’re going to be a part of it (as I know I am), the least you can do is try to maintain your integrity. It’s easy to get caught up and suddenly see your peers as objects to play games with instead of real people who are affected by your actions. At the end of the day, it really just comes down to basic respect. If you have a “main squeeze” (yes, I just said that; we’re bringing it back) who knows that you aren’t exclusive and is okay with it, do that person the courtesy of being safe when you are with other people. Respect them by not jeopardizing your health and consequently their own. Be honest instead of sneaky, and remember how you might feel if the situations were reversed. There are ways to date around without breaking hearts at every turn, just as there are ways to be honest and open without being harsh or cruel. Being a generation with a general lack of commitment doesn’t have to mean we’re a generation of inconsiderate assholes. We should all try to remember that the next time we find ourselves juggling multiple hearts or trying to let go of one in particular. Hannah Webster can be reached at hannah.webster@spartans.ut.edu
Florida: Best State in America or Hell on Earth?
By CAITLIN MALONE Opinion Writer
Our state is one of the top tourist destinations in the country. Interestingly enough, it has also been deemed the eighth most dangerous state by The Examiner. In Florida, there are a variety of beaches and theme parks to choose from, but getting mugged or murdered could really put a damper on your family vacation. With that being said, the Sunshine State can be very enjoyable–– just remember to wear a bulletproof vest and lots of sunscreen. The Huffington Post recently published an article listing 23 reasons why Florida is the best state in America. The article mentioned things like the weather, popular theme parks and outstanding sports teams. All of the things they listed were awesome, but what about the negative side of our state? I am a born and raised Floridian and I love it here. I love living an hour away from some of the country’s nicest beaches and being able to wear shorts and tank tops year-round. “I feel that Florida is the best state to live in because the environment is perfect. We have a small taste of city life while still enjoying small town luxuries,” said Emma Coss, a junior government and world affairs major. I couldn’t agree more. However, one of the major cons of living in Florida is the high crime rate. Florida is home to more of the nation’s 100 most dangerous cities (11 of them) than any other state, according to The Huffington Post. But the total crime rate
has been dropping steadily for decades with the number of crimes decreasing 34.8 percent between 1992 and 2012, according to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. Another issue in Florida that coincides with crime is racial profiling. For example, in November, the Miami Gardens police department was accused of racial profiling for stopping a black man 258 times over the past four years at the store where he works and repeatedly charging him with trespassing, according to the New York Daily News. Another famous example is the Trayvon Martin case. There are plenty of sociopolitical downsides, but the pros definitely outweigh the cons when it comes to living in the Sunshine State. Despite the nasty humidity, Florida is known for its amazing weather, according to The Huffington Post. While Northern states were living in a constant state of frostbite this winter, Florida’s temperatures rarely dropped below 50. Most days it’s been sunny and in the mid 70s with a nice breeze, which is probably why we get so many snowbirds. Florida is also home to some awesome theme parks. The Orlando area draws more visitors than any other amusement park destination in the U.S, according to The Huffington Post. From Tampa to Orlando, we have Seaworld, Busch Gardens, Legoland, Universal Studios and of course, Disney. With reasonable prices for annual passholders, most Floridians have the chance to visit these places year-round.
Last but not least, the news in Florida is filled with the craziest things. For Friday night entertainment, all you have to do is turn on the news and you’ll see two families at Chuck E. Cheese who brawled over prize tickets, according to Buzzfeed, or the man who drank five gallons of vodka and is still alive to tell the tale. But my all-time favorite has to be the Florida resident who was accused of attacking his girlfriend with a banana. Some might see these crazy Floridians as a downside to the state,
but I think it’s hilarious. Florida can be awesome, and it can be pretty terrible sometimes too, but every state has its pros and cons. I couldn’t be happier to be a Floridian and I plan to stay in the Sunshine State for as long as I can. Although, I have a warning for anyone looking to move here: If a little humidity and the sight of men over 50 years old in speedos is a problem, then Florida is definitely not for you. Caitlin Malone can be reached at caitlin.malone@spartans.ut.edu
Graphic by Wendy French/The Minaret
Florida may have its issues (crazy news, iffy laws and nasty humidity), but it’s also pretty awesome.
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THE MINARET | APRIL 3 2014
Sports
SPORTS
Bittersweet Ending to Storybook Season
Raeshaad Long/The Minaret
At one point, the lady Spartans amassed a 14 game winning streak en route to the SSC regular season title. The team went as far as the Sweet Sixteen in the NCAA tournament. By TESS SHEETS Sports Writer
Making it to the Sweet Sixteen marked history for the women’s basketball program and made it one of its most successful seasons yet, despite losing in the regional finals. We have a bad taste in our mouths and we are hungry. We want revenge, and we plan on showing everyone that Tampa should be number one,” said Angela Alvarez, a sophomore forward. Although the goals for a sports team are generally the same every season (to win the conference and break new records), there is something to be said about a team that actually meets these expectations. “We won the regular season Sunshine State Conference title and broke a few school records as well,” Head Coach Tom Jessee said. “We had a record of 14 straight wins, which is the longest streak by the women’s basketball team. We also made it to the Sweet Sixteen in the NCAA tournament,
which is the furthest our team has ever gotten.” “We belonged there so we weren’t surprised when we made it,” said Shamika Williams, a senior guard. “We surprised everyone else though, and we earned some respect as well.” The team’s success can be credited to the tremendous amount of leadership that came about as a result of having an abundance of experienced players on the roster. “We had a large group of seniors, which we haven’t really had before,” Jessee said. “The leadership that they brought helped establish success for future seasons and helped rebuild our team.” A higher skill level has added to the Spartan’s season as well. The roster included four All-Conference players and the top three best recruits in the conference. “Our post game was more dominant this year than last,” Alvarez said. “Because our point guard was healthy this year and not last, it helped a lot, and our forwards were a
lot faster and were able to shoot the three as well as driving.” However, the players mainly relied on their teamwork, a factor that can make or break any successful season. “You can have all the talent and skill in the world and still not win any games because players don’t know how to work together,” Jessee said. “This team’s chemistry is our biggest asset. Their charisma and the way they carry themselves is something you just can’t teach. The girls want each other to score just as much as they want to score themselves.” An impressive advantage that this team has over others is a willingness to win and the desire to become better players in the process. This is a characteristic that leads to a successful team. Alvarez believes the team has an imperative advantage over its opponents both on and off the court. “Our heart, because we never gave up, even when all odds were against us, as my
coach would say we ‘bowed our necks and did not roll over’,” Alvarez said. “Our balance because we do not have just one star player, everyone can play and when one Spartan was down, another one would step up. And our bond because we were a family. I believe us being so close helped us a lot with communicating on the court, etc.” Despite one of the most successful seasons in the Spartan’s history, the team will never be fully satisfied. The players are always looking for the next record to break or championship to win. “Next season I’m looking forward to coming back strong and our team will have a lot of revenge to give out,” said Jenny Tapich, a junior guard. “The University of Tampa women’s basketball team will be better than ever and making more history than last season. We will only get better and better and next season will be our year.” Tess Sheets can be reached at therese. sheets@spartans.ut.edu
to help better prepare his team. When asked why he stepped back, Brockunier said, “For personal reasons, injuries and joining the ROTC program. It [ROTC] would take a lot of time and focus out of my training [for the competition].” Fellow junior exercise science major and teammate Kelsey Bahr only had encouraging words for her teammates.
“I think that the competitors are more prepared [this year] and highly motivated to perform well in the gym and on the stage,” Bahr said. As for what the competitors go through in order to be competition ready, it’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either. “All the competitors have put their
hearts and minds into this competition,” Brockunier said. He considers this line of competition to be more mental than physical. “A person’s mind can only be pushed so far. So when you push past those limits, you’re able to see what kind of person you truly are. If you don’t have a strong mental aspect, your physical aspect won’t succeed on its own,” Brockunier said. “I don’t really feel like it’s a competition,” Bahr said. “It’s more of like a show that is put on so that the competitors can express their hard work and passion for the sport. I think that last year everyone was kind of new to the idea of competing so it was further out of their comfort zone. Also, this year the Bodybuilding team has additional divisions such as women’s figure and men’s physique. The variety is sure to spice up the show and give the audience a different taste from last year’s competition.” The hundreds of hours spent in the gym working on posing and workouts and the strict diets they had to maintain will all be worth it come April. The competition is on April 19 at 7 p.m. in Reeves Theater. Layla Souchet can be reached at layla.souchet@spartans.ut.edu
Students Flex Muscles at Annual Bodybuilding Competition
By LAYLA SOUCHET Sports Writer
To the students planning to attend the 2nd Annual UT Men’s and Women’s Bodybuilding competition in a few weeks, the competitors have a few words of advice: “Get there early.” At the first competition last spring, there were only 10 competitors. The team managed to attract over 200 audience members into Reeves Theater. Students, faculty and staff filled each seat. They sat on their friends’ laps, the floor and some continued to pile out of both doors. This year will be no different. With 12 competitors in four different divisions, the event will be sure to amaze attendees. There are three men competing in physique, two in bodybuilding, five women in bikini and two in figure. Junior exercise science major Dan Brockunier is the president of the Bodybuilding Team. Not only is this an entertainment show for the viewers but also a look into the different opportunities that people have in the fitness world. “I think it’s going to be a great show,” Brockunier said. “I hope the audience will get a lot of motivation out of this competition to ensure their future healthy lifestyles.” Although he did compete last year, he took a step back to focus on himself and
Layla Souchet/The Minaret
After rigorously dieting and training for months, the bodybuilders are ready to show off.
14 APRIL 3 2014 | THE MINARET
Batter Up! MLB Storylines Back in Full Swing By JOSIAH KACHELMEYER Sports Writer
The 2014 Major League Baseball season officially began in the land down under this past week as the Los Angeles Dodgers squared off against the Arizona Diamondbacks in Sydney, Australia. Opening Day for the rest of the league is set for March 31, so it is safe to say spring has finally arrived. Following the World Series victory of the Boston Red Sox in 2013, this season is sure to be another exciting one. Here are five of the most burning, can’t miss storylines to keep an eye out for as our national pastime gets back into full swing.
Keith Allison/Flickr
Slugger Miguel Cabrera will look to prove he’s worth the $292 million that the Tigers invested in him. Miggy won the MVP award in 2012 and 2013.
1. Can Boston repeat, or will they even be able to win their own division? After coming off their eighth World Series title, the Red Sox remain largely intact as a ball club, with the exception of losing Jacoby Ellsbury to free agency and replacing him with the oft-injured, but supposedly rejuvenated, Grady Sizemore. Normally this would be a surefire formula to at least win their own division again, but the New York Yankees have revamped their squad, spending nearly half a billion dollars in the process by adding the likes of Ellsbury, Brian McCann and Japanese phenom-pitcher Masahiro Tanaka. With the return of Hall of Fame shoein Derek Jeter, the Bronx Bombers will be tough to beat. 2. Can Miguel Cabrera win a third straight MVP award? In 2012, Detroit Tigers infielder Miguel Cabrera put up mindblowing offensive numbers en route to becoming the first Latin American player and just the 17th player of all time to win the prestigious Triple Crown award. Following the 2012 season, he was also named the American League’s Most Valuable Player. In 2013, Cabrera almost did the impossible and lead the majors in all three major batting categories (average, home runs and RBI’s) once again. Despite actually improving upon both his batting average and home run totals and being named the A.L. MVP once again, Cabrera was denied a second straight Triple Crown
due to the emergence of Baltimore Orioles slugger Chris Davis. As we head into 2014, there is little reason to think “Miggy” plans on slowing down and should once again lead a talented Tigers team into the postseason. On March 28, the Tigers announced they agreed to a colossal eight-year contract extension with Cabrera worth $248 million. 3. How will the local Tampa Bay Rays fare this year? Lead by their gifted manager Joe Maddon, the Tampa Bay Rays find a way to compete year in and year out, despite the third-lowest payroll in the MLB. Shrewd signings and a Moneyball like approach have been the keys to success for the Rays, and they are hoping they will continue into the upcoming season. Wil Myers deservedly won the A.L. Rookie of the Year award last season after batting .293 and hitting 13 home runs. Myers is going to be counted on as a full-time weapon at Maddon’s disposal and will be expected to take the next step. Tampa Bay also added veteran relief pitcher Grant Balfour to replace Fernando Rodney as the team’s closer. Balfour, who had 38 saves last year, is expected to bring stability to the closer role that became very shaky toward the end of last season. The Rays will almost surely have a good number of wins once again in 2014. It will remain to be seen, however, if that will be enough to make the postseason out of the stronger-than-ever A.L. East. 4. What surprise team will make the playoffs?
Last year, the Pittsburgh Pirates reached the playoffs for the first time in 21 seasons after finishing the 2012 season with a losing record. Additionally, the Cleveland Indians and the eventual World Series Champion Boston Red Sox finished 2012 with a sub .500 record and were able to reach the postseason last year. This begs the question, who will be the Pirates/Red Sox/Indians of 2014? The Seattle Mariners are hoping the big paycheck they gave to Robinson Cano will help them over the hump, while the Los Angeles Angels certainly have the talent to contend despite a disappointing 2013. Other losing teams last year with a chance to get into the dance this year are the San Francisco Giants, San Diego Padres and the Arizona Diamondbacks (finished 81-81 in 2013). 5. Who will win it all? The most burning question of all remains who will win the 2014 MLB World Series? Starting with the National League, despite a crowded picture of tough teams, I fully expect the Los Angeles Dodgers to be the team that comes out on top this year due to their dynamic pitching staff and star-studded lineup. Out of the American League, it is hard to go against picking the Yankees. The pieces they added this off-season have many New Yorkers thinking the Yanks will capture their 28th World Series title this season. I think they’re probably right. Joisah Kachelmeyer can be reached at josiah.kachelmeyer@ spartans.ut.edu
Alex Jackson/The Minaret
After inking a $292 million total salary in the offseason, all eyes are on Miguel Cabrera.
THE MINARET | APRIL 3 2014
Pro Sports
15
Brazil Makes Last Push for 2014 World Cup
By RICHARD DUH Sports Writer
As we all rub our hands in anticipation for this summer’s FIFA World Cup, in what promises to be a thrilling, dramatic and suspenseful tournament, the question must be asked as to whether or not Brazil is really prepared to welcome the whole world with open arms for this showpiece. There is no doubt that Brazil is an excellent candidate to host the World Cup, due in part to its rich soccer culture and past success in the World Cups. In fact, Brazil is the record winner of the World Cup with five titles. Brazil also consistently has players of distinct talent with the likes of Neymar, Oscar and Thiago Silva of today adding to names from the past of Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Kaka and even the likes of Socrates (not the philosopher), Carlos Alberto and the immortal Pele. Brazil also boasts one of the most iconic stadiums in the world in the Estadio Maracana where local club Corinthians plays. Hosting the World Cup goes beyond soccer, which seems to be something that Brazil has overlooked in its preparation. Brazil has had a problem with poverty for quite some time, with many of the country’s citizens struggling to make ends meet on a daily basis. Brazil is also known for having “favelas,” or massive slums, in many of its major cities such
as Sao Paulo, Recifé and Rio de Janeiro. As a result, the citizens of the country have been pleading for help to make their lives more manageable, or in other words, with financial support. Factors that we as American citizens and residents take for granted such as bus fares, electric bills, housing rents and tuition for schools are ridiculously high.
The Brazilian citizens feel a sense of injustice due to the fact that so much money is being pumped into funding for the World Cup such as building new stadia. On top of the high prices for utilities and everyday items, the infrastructure is relatively poor with poor roads and bridges. Brazilians feel that if the government can afford to
FootballNet/ Wikimedia Commons
Though soccer is wildly popular in Brazil, not every citizen is pleased with the Cup’s arrival.
finance for the World Cup, then it can finance for improving the country as a whole. In the past year or so, there have been protests held due to the massive amount of money being used for World Cup funding. This also happened during last year’s Confederations Cup, a tournament held a year before the World Cup with the winners of the African, European, North and Central American, South American, Asian and Oceanian regions. It also comprises of the host country (Brazil) and the winners of the last World Cup (Spain, who was also winner of the last European championship). These protests have left FIFA (the soccer governing body) officials wondering if the locals will boycott the World Cup due to the widespread displeasure regarding the huge spending. From a neutral standpoint, it would be nice to see Brazil as the perfect host for the World Cup since it has a chance to make a statement in the global market. If Brazil ends up hosting the World Cup with few or no problems, that may attract investors to come and pump money into the country to satisfy citizens. In Brazil, soccer is like a religion, and I’m sure the fans would have little to no hesitation in attending the games as it promises to be a thrilling event. Richard Duh can be reached at richard.duh@spartans.ut.edu
Stamkos’ Return Electrifies Lightning For Playoff Run By DOMINICK FALCO Sports Writer
Dinur Blum/Flickr
Lightning captain Steven Stamkos looks to lead the team to another Stanley Cup trophy.
The day had finally arrived. Steven Stamkos returned to game action after missing nearly four months due to a broken tibia. On March 6, the locker room of the Tampa Bay Lightning was invigorated as the members of the media were searching for a word from one of the league’s most talented scorers. Stamkos was probably the most excited to get back on the ice than anybody. “I feel great. It’s exciting. As the day progresses, you get a little nervous heading into the game, but once I get the first couple shifts out of the way, I think I’ll be fine,” Stamkos said. Stamkos was not the only one ready to get on the ice. His newly acquired teammate Ryan Callahan, who was acquired in the Martin St. Louis trade with the New York Rangers, was also ready to get on the ice with the rest of the Lightning. Callahan was excited to share the ice with the bonafide all-star Stamkos. “It’s gonna be fun. He is a world class player. He is great in the way he plays and the way he leads, so he will be an easy guy to follow,” Callahan said. Tyler Johnson is a rookie center for the Tampa Bay Lighting and is one of the young players that have stepped up in Stamkos’ absence by contributing over 20 goals in the season so far. Johnson lauded Stamkos’ swift offensive presence on the ice. “We are obviously going to get his scoring ability. He is always a threat on the ice. He is another guy we can rely on a little bit and to get the team going on
the right track,” Johnson said. Stamkos will not only bring his scoring ability to the Lightning, but also his leadership. “He plays the game right. He does all the little things, communicates with the guys and works his tail off. I think just having his presence on the ice will be great for us,” Johnson said. When Stamkos was asked about taking the role of captain for the team after St. Louis was traded, he said, “Of course I want to be the leader on this team. I think we have so much veteran presence that it makes things easy. I was able to learn from Vinny [Lecavalier] and Marty [St. Louis], especially Marty. Since day one, he has been my mentor. He has taught me so much about what it is to be a true pro in this game, and a great leader. Hopefully I can learn from the other veteran guys in this locker room as well, but take the things I learned from Marty and instill them in this room.” Since that day, Stamkos has been named the 10th captain in Lightning franchise history. Along with being named captain, Stamkos played in ten games totaling ten points, including seven goals. The Tampa Bay Lightning have less than 20 games remaining on the schedule. With Stamkos back, the team will be looking toward him to provide leadership and scoring while it pushes for a playoff berth. Stamkos will be examined closely as he tries to ease back into his old, dominant ways. Dominick Falco can be reached at dominick.falco@spartans.ut.edu
MINARET UT’S SOURCE SINCE 1933
MLB Preview [14]
SPORTS
Women’s Basketball [13]
Softball Team Sits Atop SSC Standings By PAIGE SHALLCROSS Sports Writer
Nikki Nunzio/The Minaret
The softball team is in the middle of one of its best seasons and is sitting atop the SSC.
The Spartans softball team is excelling this season. Currently they are number one in the Sunshine State Conference and are also ranked number four nationally. Their hard work and determination to surpass last season is paying off. Junior outfielders Jenna Halper and Taylor Collins both feel that this season has been more successful for multiple reasons, even though the team’s hitting could still be improved upon. “I think as a team we are doing very good coming together,” Halper said. “We don’t score a lot of runs during games but get that one clutch hit when we need it. We have a lot of confidence in everyone else in our team, so if one person isn’t having the best game, we know that other people are there to help out.” Coach Leslie Kanter agreed that the team is excelling this year and a lot of that has to do with the performance of the pitchers. “Our two pitchers are number one in the country with their earned run average, so out of all D-II schools we have best ERA combined in the country,” Kanter said. “Our pitching is definitely keeping up in every game and all we have to do is score one or two runs and we should win the game.” For the team to be successful in every game, players have to have the confidence and support in one another. “We all support each other a lot more than I feel like past years,” Collins said. “I
feel like we mesh as a team really well. We have a better bond. The team chemistry is definitely there this year.” Another change that has aided in the team’s progress is how teammates approach each game. They make sure they go into each game and compete like it is the most important game of the season. “I think what is different this year is that before every inning, we say we’re going to try to win the inning,” Halper said. “I think that has been a big step to getting the runs when we need to and just taking it inning for inning and playing every game like it is the last inning with a 0-0 score.” With the current standings and a recent win against Eckerd on March 28, the team is looking for a possible spot in the postseason, which will lead to a lot of excitement for the Spartans. “Well we have nine games left and right now I think if we win eight of them, we win the conference, and we’re looking to do that,” Kanter said. “We have only won it twice before in the school’s history so we are trying to win a third one and hopefully move on and host regionals.” The team is willing to work hard to achieve those goals because they were not able to get where they wanted last season. “I feel like where we ended last year is definitely where we want to precede farther from because we were so close,” Collins said. “We fell shorter than we wanted to, but the team is staying focused and the end goal is very important to us.” Paige Shallcross can be reached at paige.shallcross@spartans.ut.edu.
Men’s Track Team Pacing Itself Through Long Season By GRANT PAWLAK Sports Writer
The men’s track team has maintained a decent standing in this year’s track season as the Spartans continue to break personal records and take winning positions in their races. With the season in full swing, the team still has a ways to go before the Spartans can take a breather. Six meets are left in the regular season, four of which are multi-day events. The Spartans are in the thick of the season. Their first meet at Embry-Riddle saw multiple Spartans such as freshman Aaron Oldanie, sophomore Evan Wheeler, sophomore Scott Billings and freshman Marcus Tivis breaking personal records on the track. Freshman Jimmy Wear was another record breaker, but instead of making it his personal best time, he was able to break the school’s record in the 400 meter run with a time of 50.29 seconds. Not only were multiple records broken, but the Spartans were able to maintain a strong presence in their events with many finishing in the top ten. The USF Invitational proved to be a challenge for the men, but nevertheless they were able to turn it into another opportunity with multiple personal records broken. Wear broke his previous school record in the 400 meter run by almost one full second with a time of 49.46. The Spartans were able to remain strong during the meet as all competitors placed in the top ten.
The second half of the USF meet saw the Spartans 4 by 400 relay team of Tivis, Billings, freshman Jessie Boria and Wear break the school record with a time of 3:25:99. The Florida State Relays ended in success for the Spartans as junior Geremy DeWitt was able to break a personal record in the men’s 5K with a time of 15:28. Freshman Matt Hoffman won the second heat with a time of 15:48 while junior Kyle Taylor finished second at 15:56, notching yet another personal record. Mike Zwijacz came in at 34:00 in the 10K. But with all their recent success, the Spartans still have a ways to go before the end of the season. With the Florida Relays and Embry-Riddle meet back to back from April 3 to April 5, the Spartans have a stamina-testing challenge to overcome. Coach Jarrett Slaven is hopeful for his team. “We look forward to any and all challenges, and hope to meet our goals,” Slaven said. With this being Slaven’s 15th season with the team, he has been able to turn the Spartans from a simple walk-on program to a nationally ranked team. He has led the Spartans to finish in the top 10 at the NCAA finals a total of four times, placing eighth in 2003 and 2004 and placing 10th in 2007 and 2009. With this goal still fresh in mind, the Spartans still have much to accomplish before they venture on to the end-of-season championships. Grant Pawlak can be reached at grant. pawlak@spartans.ut.edu.
Photo Courtesy of Tom Kolbe
Mike Zwijacz hopes to finish off a strong senior season with a national title run.
THE MINARET | APRIL 3 2014
OPINION
AF3
Frogger Attacks! Mutant Frog Leonard Runs Rampant By ANNABELLA PALOPOLI Grammar Police
This Monday, a frog with significant genetic defects escaped from the Cass Building. A few students, including myself (understandably, the rest wish to remain anonymous), were working with biology professor Dr. Eric Freundt. We were attempting to manipulate a gene in the Southern Leopard Frog, Lithobates sphenocephalus, with a point mutation. This induced mutation was designed to result in an increased resistance to pesticides, but instead, we created a monster. “It really was quite terrifying,” Freundt said. “Especially the teeth–– that was surprising.” During the manipulation, someone (definitely not me) made a grave error, the consequence being a frameshift mutation, which resulted in the formation of a completely different set of proteins. Thus, we have a large, mutant, potentially dangerous frog hopping around campus. Actually,
it doesn’t really hop––it looks more like a crawl, similar to the thing that girl from The Grudge does. In search of the frog, I asked some students around campus if they’d seen anything. “Is that what’s been screaming from the tree outside Sykes?” asked Sam Bloom, a sophomore psychology major. Yes, it probably is, and I will go check now. If anyone sees an unusuallooking, frog-like creature around campus, please send an email to searchingforleonard@gmail.com (I named it Leonard). Please do not approach this frog without proper equipment, as it may be producing a toxin leaking through its pores judging by the decaying flesh on my hand where I tried to grab it during its great escape. For your safety, keep an eye out at all times, and you may want to build a fort around your bed so it doesn’t sneak up on you while you’re sleeping. Annabella Palopoli can be reached at jessica.keesee@ thetheminaretonline.com
Cartoon by Lauren Richey/The Minaret
This terrifying creature is on a rampage across campus. Keep an eye out before it’s too late.
--------------NO MO’ SEX Y’ALL!--------------By HANNAH WEBSTER Sexologist
Jean KOULEV/Flickr
Quick! Get it in as much as you can now before you have to sneak behind West parking garage.
It’s springtime in Florida, and you know what that means: the flowers are blooming, the weather is warming up, and student sex drives are kicking into a gear so high that it puts Tampa’s rabbit populations to shame. A change to the student handbook, however, threatens to put a halt to the spring fling action occurring behind closed dorm room doors. By the end of April, all sexual relations will be banned on campus. After living on campus for some length of time, many students pride themselves on their ability to get it on in a twin-sized bed without falling off. Once that set of techniques is cultivated in any student, there’s really nothing stopping them from heading back to their hall for a little afternoon (and, let’s face it, morning, evening, and middle of the night) delight. On a campus where the student population prides itself on the ability to own that walk of shame, many find themselves in blatant shock upon hearing the news of the sex prohibition.
“This is really just going to ruin my whole game, you know?” said senior UT athlete Hans Downerpantz. “That’s how I get ready for a game. That’s how I spend half time. That’s how I celebrate after. I haven’t even gone down my list for the semester. You can’t be serious.” I’m afraid this is serious, Mr. Downerpantz. Very serious indeed. The change in rules was apparently brought about by reports of injury after several students hit their heads on the ceiling due to the unusually large height of some of the beds. I will leave the rest of that visual for you to sort out on your own. So if you have plans to break in your dorm accommodations or simply want to get the most out of the time you aren’t living in your parents’ house, I suggest you get to it before on-campus lovin’ is no longer allowed, as the new rules should take effect in the coming weeks. No word yet on how the rules will be enforced, but I imagine it will be an awkward affair. Send your complaints and detailed sexual accounts to hannah.webster@ spartans.ut.edu
Spartan Arcade Revamp: ‘Mortal Combat’ to Feature Real Lizards By JAKE KONISZEWSKI (spelling?) We just found him on the street
Ever since I was a freshman, the Spartan Club Arcade hasn’t had many visitors, but UT has finally decided to make some changes. By next semester, the arcade will have all new games for students to play. “The arcade has been an underutilized amenity on campus,” Art Cade said at the Spartan Club Office. “We’re looking forward to revamping it.” He gave me a sneak peek of the new games that will be available next semester. “We’ll have an all new Time Crisis game,” Cade said. “Both guns will only shoot correctly every five or six bullets, but that just adds a whole new strategy to the game. To make your character duck, you have to slide your Spartan card into the slot and pay a dollar.” For those of you upset about losing the Mortal Kombat cabinet, there’s no need to worry. Cade gave me a
preview of the new one, a cardboard box with skulls drawn in crayon on the side. “It’s just as good as the old one and more cost effective,” Cade said. “But you can only play as Reptile,” he added as I noticed two lizards sitting inside the box. Other games on the way include cabinet versions of E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial for Atari 2600, Superman 64 for Nintendo 64 and Shaq Fu for Sega Genesis. “Students will feel right at home with all these games,” Cade said. “It’s like the old arcade never left.” Shortly after the interview, I was informed the new Mortal Kombat cabinet would not be ready due to the lizards escaping. An estimated time of completion was not given for the cabinet at the time. We have no idea how you can contact Jake Koniszewski. He was last seen under the bridge near Walgreens.
Casey Budd/The Minaret
A lot of the old games are being scrapped to make room for newer, more efficiently broken systems.
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JAGUARS WIN SUPER BOWL IN EPIC FASHION
By MARCUS “THE FRO” MITCHELL Campus Legend
The stage is set. The University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Ariz. is filled to the top with fans. The date? Feb. 1, 2015. Super Bowl Sunday. The clock ticks down to the last few seconds. All eyes are on Jacksonville Jaguars kicker Josh Scobee as he tries to knock one in from over 60 yards to win the game. The green clad warriors of northern Florida take their positions and snap the ball. With ease, Scobee launches the ball through the goalposts to give the Jaguars the victory. The team swarms the field. Wide receivers Justin Blackmon and Cecil Shorts share a bromantic hug with one another. The camera flashes to linebacker Paul Posluszny embracing his wife on the sideline until it pans back to the ceremony in the middle of the field. That’s where first round pick Johnny Manziel holds up the Vince Lombardi trophy with a flood of tears rolling down his face that would even rival Knowshon Moreno. Don’t even question it. It’s going to happen. The Jacksonville Jaguars are Super Bowl bound folks, and there is no one in their path who can even come close to stopping them. It all starts in the draft when Roger Goodell walks up to that podium for the Jaguars’ third overall pick and lets the name that is the beauty of Johnny Manziel pour out of his mouth. There is no doubt that the Jaguars will take Manziel with the third pick. The man has “Football” as his middle name. (No seriously, his name is
Johnny Football Manziel.) And in case that didn’t blow up your mind, here’s a stick of truth dynamite about our boy Johnny. If you shorten his last name then he is literally Johnny Football Man. That’s right. Boom. The Jaguars should draft him based on his name alone. But they won’t because the dude is a monster on the field. He’s 210 pounds of absolute beast and he’s coming straight for your endzone. Johnny Football Man can get the ball out quicker than UT can get an IT guy to check out the Wi-Fi. And that’s saying something. “But he’s small, feeble and weak,” is what you must be thinking, right? Wrong. Linebackers can’t even touch the guy. He’s faster than an actual jaguar. He’s like a jaguar on steroids who decided, “Hey, I should be a quarterback.” The best comparison of Johnny Football Man isn’t Fran Tarkenton. No. It’s one of
those Gremlin monsters after you feed it after midnight for five straight days. Johnny Football Man is a beast without a leash and he’s planning his way to Arizona next February for Jacksonville. But if Johnny Football Man isn’t enough to convince you that the Jaguars are heading to the Super Bowl, then check out the rest of the team. Justin Blackmon is over six feet of absolute explosive machinery, and he looks like a mini Megatron on the field. Minitron is like an android of unstoppable power on the field. He’s basically got a built-in jetpack with a vertical jump that a kangaroo would envy, and he doesn’t even compute being double teamed. So triple team him, right? Wrong again, knucklehead. Because right across Minitron is Cecil Shorts the Third. That’s right, the Third. He’s basically royalty and secondaries just bow down to their knees
Jacksonville Jaguars/Facebook
CECIL SHORTS III IS THE ONLY RECEIVER WORTHY OF TRYING RICHARD SHERMAN
when he jukes and breaks their ankles. And if by some miracle of Mike Ditka you manage to stop both of them then you still have to worry about tight end Mercedes Lewis. Mercedes Lewis isn’t even a Mercedes. He’s a truck. But not like one of those wimpy Ford trucks with one of those tailgate steps. I’m talking a hybrid of a monster truck and a Hummer coming at you full speed across the middle of the field. You’re probably worrying about the running game now that Maurice JonesDrew left for those grayscale pirates of Oakland. Well stop worrying and take off the doubt hat you’re wearing. The Jaguars got Toby Gerhart, the backup to Adrian Peterson. That’s right. They got the guy who backed up Adrian “All Day” Peterson. But what’s that? You’re saying he’s just a backup? Well he’s about to back up into the endzone again and again. Peterson is All Day? Toby Gerhart is All Night. As in he’s staring at you in the middle of the night while lifting. Say goodbye to your sweet dreams because it’s all Gerhart nightmares from here on out. The man is built like a rodeo bull and he’s daring you to try and last eight seconds. Forget the phrase “bell-cow” back, Toby Gerhart is a “bell-bull” back. So yeah, you can believe those so-called “experts” over on ESPN if you want to, but the Jaguars are going all the way this time. Not even Spygate can stop the Jaguars from winning in Arizona this year. So prepare yourself for an environmental conquest, because this Super Bowl is going green. Marcus Mitchell can be reached at datfro@spartans.ut.edu
An Interview With UT’s Backup Catcher, Scotty McHaggis World’s Strongest Men
Alex Jackson/ UT Athletics
Scotty McHaggis can frequently be found comforting sad teammates when they’re down.
The Minaret sat down with stud catcher Scotty McHaggis over the weekend to discuss his role on the mighty Spartan baseball team. However, the following answers were far from the responses we expected. The Minaret: What is your current position with the team? Scotty McHaggis: I am currently the fifth string catcher (backup to the backup to the backup) on the University of Tampa baseball team, a position I’m very proud of. M: Interesting. How many games have you played in this season? SM: Well… None. But I feel like I’ve really made a huge impact on the team this year. M: What kind of impact? SM: See, Coach has put me in charge of making sure every Gatorade tank is filled to the brim. Without me, how would players stay hydrated? M: Alrighty then. Have you ever actually played on a baseball game? SM: I mean, I’ve played MLB: The Show on Playstation like fifty times, so I’d consider myself at least an amateur. M: But that doesn’t really count. Have you ever played in a live-action game? SM: Does T-ball count? M: Technically yes, but I want to know if you’ve actually caught a baseball. SM: Oh, well no. M: Then how did you end up on the
University of Tampa baseball team? SM: Uhhhhhh. M: Could you please answer the question? SM: Let’s just say I know some people. M: What? Do you have a relative on the team? SM: Let’s move on. M: Okay… Do you anticipate ever playing on the team in the future? SM: I’m a senior so probably not. But Coach Urso told me that if we make it to the Championship again, he’ll let me play for one inning. M: Really? SM: No. But he did say he’d let me choose the Gatorade flavor that day, which is pretty cool. Definitely going with grape. M: Well Scotty, this was quite an enlightening interview. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me. Good luck this season. SM: Yeah. Jordan Llanes can be reached at redsoxfanatic93@hotmail.com Griffin Guinta can be reached at cat. luvr@gmail.com
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Scotty’s Gatorade pouring ability is beyond comparison.
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By GRIFF & JORDY
-Anonymous Teammate