LABELS HAVE CHANGED How today’s stereotypes are defined
VOLUPTUOUS VIXENS
Sex appeal is the main weapon of comic book heroines
FANTASY FOOTBALL HANDBOOK Strategies for combating the season’s obstacles
LABELS HAVE CHANGED How today’s stereotypes are defined
VOLUPTUOUS VIXENS
Sex appeal the main weapon of comic book heroins
FANTASY FOOTBALL HANDBOOK Strategies for combating the season’s obstacles
CONTENTS 6 WHAT’S HOT 8 EDITOR’S NOTE 10 COMIC STRIP!!! SUPER HEROINES GET SUPER SCANDALOUS
12 STEREOTYPING BY MAJOR
IS WRONG, BUT LET’S DO IT ANYWAY
14 FASHION FORWARD 18 CAMPUS CRIBS 20 #FAILING, THE TEST ANSWERS
YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO USE
22 WHAT YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE SAYS ABOUT YOU
26 THE EVOLUTION OF LABELS 32 SUNDAY NIGHT WARFARE 36 ATHLETES VS. ATHLETES 38 PADDLING FOR A PURPOSE 42 FANTASY FOOTBALL: YOUR HANDBOOK TO SUCCESS
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VOLUME 78.8 - STEREOTYPES | THEMINARETONLINE.COM
Breann Michalak
WHAT’S HOT APP OF THE MONTH
WATCHW
If you have early classes, morning practices or work the opening shift at your job, you know how difficult it can be to wake up in the morning. And when you finally do manage to get out from under the covers, a good half hour is spent in zombie-mode while you hope you can manage to put on two of the same shoes. But have faith, anti-early bird—there’s an app for that. Sleep Cycle is an app for iPhone that creates a 30 minute wake up period ending at the time the user’s alarm is set. Throughout this time, Sleep Cycle monitors body movement using the accelerometer in the phone to detect when the user is in the lightest sleep state. The result is a slow, soft wake up process that aids in feeling more alert and refreshed upon getting up to begin the day. All you have to do is set your phone next to you at bedtime. It has several features, such as options for how long the wake up phase lasts, multiple soothing sound selections (including your own music) and even analysis of your nightly sleep patterns. Sleep Cycle is well worth the 99 cents it costs to start waking up on the right side of the bed.
VIRAL VIDEO
I am a firm believer in the outcome of your day is directly related to the underwear you are wearing. Internet comedian Jenna Mourey, better known by her pseudonym Jenna Marbles has an entire video dedicated to determining how your day will go based on your choice of skivvies. Ladies, we are all guilty of this. It’s the day after laundry day, everything is clean and we put on our favorite panties, feeling like we can take on the world. However, time goes on, clothes get dirty and we get stuck wearing the granny panties at the back of the drawer. And then what happens? The day turns to crap. Jenna predicts how different types of underwear, everything from packaged underwear, to the thong, to underwear with catchy phrases on them, will affect your day. Someone will bring you a Zebra Cake, a bird will poop on your head or all your forks will be dirty. It’s like a choose-your-own-adventure comic book. As for the gentlemen, don’t fret. Jenna and I both agree that if your underwear make you look like Ryan Reynolds, you’re bound to get lucky.
HITTING THEATERS 10/28
ANONYMOUS
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VIE CLICK TO EO THE VID
IN TIME
THE RUM DIARY
EDITOR’S NOTE
f there is one thing I’ve learned about watching two gay teens on Glee it’s how much Americans like to talk about watching two gay teens on Glee. It’s as if our culture has created scapegoats for these two characters to ease any bullying in school with dubbed over karaoke tracks. Society has felt so incredibly righteous about enforcing anti-bullying practices in public that it’s ignoring the fact that bullying is no longer happening just in front of our faces. Take five minutes to scan through your friends’ most recent posts on Facebook and I guarantee you’ll find hate. Maybe not directed at you, your friends or even your friend’s friends. But it is there. To give you an example, here are some recent status updates and comments my friends have written that have shown up in my newsfeed: “Suck it Cardinals!”, “If you come down for the weekend IT WILL be a gay ‘ol time.”, “Michelle Bachman is a moron.”, and last but not least: “I just realized that the majority of people on my Facebook are drunk sluts, fat people or pregnant teens.“ Our private Facebook walls have been vandalized with graffiti of hateful words by ignorant individuals we tolerate as our friends. So I ask what will happen when Glee goes off the air and young gay teens are left without role models? What will happen now that a black president has been elected and yet Americans try not to address racism still present in our country? What will happen if we don’t stop talking about all of these issues without changing our actions? If my voice doesn’t speak louder than others, what power do I have? We can’t stop the bullying without starting somewhere. We must remind others to raise anti-bullying awareness by taking action immediately ourselves. We must be intolerant to stereotyping and continue educate our nation to combat our ignorant slurs and bigotry. We’ve used our November issue as a platform to raise awareness about stereotyping and bullying by shedding light on our community and its misconception each other. We have to be in the playground that is our world everyday as an advocate to end this. I would rather take a stand against this issue than let one more person take his or her life for being their true self.
MIKE TROBIANO EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
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PHOTO BY JOSHUA NAPIER
I
Mike Trobiano
e C g I s e M CO Heroin lous Superer Scanda Sup
RS N BI E VA
IC !
Giant boobs. Sky-high stilettos. Skimpy outfits. In this day and age, the aforementioned attributes could describe two things: a stripper or your friendly neighborhood superheroine. The super powered female has been present in pop culture almost as long as the super powered man. Since the 1940s, readers have been able to enjoy a wide array of independent, kick-ass women featured in their weekly comic books. The earliest of the superheroines mimicked the feminist movements of the times. Wonder Woman came about during World War II to fight Nazis and embody the growing involvement of women in the war movement. Marvel Girl and Invisible Girl were founding members of their respective superhero teams and later became Ph.D.s. The first AfricanAmerican leader of a superhero team was a woman. The first homosexual superhero to receive their own series was a lesbian. For years, female superheroes have broken barriers left and right. Until recently. DC Comics recently sent comic book enthusiasts everywhere into a frenzy when they re-launched their brand. Entitled ‘The New 52,’ the reboot will take established characters back to their roots. For the first time in decades, you’ll be able to walk into a comic store and pick up a Batman, PAGE 10 | THEMINARETONLINE.COM
ILLUSTRATION BY REBECCA MORALES
C U LT U R E 11/11
! ! ! P I R T S t
Issue 1 and not have to dole out an outrageous amount for a vintage copy. However, that is not what’s receiving the most attention. Since the issues are starting at the beginning, character introductions are necessary. And when a character is introduced, a picture of their face or their back story would be the logical thing, right? That’s the treatment DC gave to Superman, Batman and other super powered men. With the women, it’s a different story. When we first meet Catwoman, we don’t exactly meet her. Instead, we meet a close up of her cleavage in a red lacy bra. In subsequent frames, we’re introduced to another view of her chest, a close-up of her backside and finally another view of her chest. In a similar manner, the first time readers are introduced to alien princess Starfire, she’s running around a beach, dripping wet in a string bikini pandering for sex. And you can’t help but notice that each of her barely concealed breasts is the size of her face. So, what happened? Has it been 60 years of liberated superwomen and then in 2011 we decided to make them sex workers? Not exactly. Super sexy superheroines have been a growing trend in comics for years now. Take a moment to think of any superheroine you know of. Are any of them what would be considered “plain Jane’s”? No, of course not. They’re toned, bodacious and remarkably intelligent. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. The problem is with how they’re presented. For the most part, you can pit
a male and female superbeing against each other and the odds would be pretty even. But what will be strikingly obvious is the differences in appearance. The guy would probably be relatively fit and wearing a protective, practical bodysuit. Cut to the female and you’ve got an entirely different story. She’d probably be wearing a revealing leotard accompanied by six-inch heels or thigh-high boots. In the offset chance she was wearing a bodysuit, you can be sure it’d still be extremely low-cut and hardly able to contain her breasts. Look no further than Superman and Wonder Woman. One’s an alien, one’s a goddess. Both more than human. They share essentially the same powers, except for one key difference. While Superman is the Man of Steel, Wonder Woman is not. If you shot Superman, he’d be unharmed. But shoot Wonder Woman and you could do some damaged. However, Wonder Woman fights crime in a patriotic leotard that offers little protection while Superman is completely covered (sans his head) by his costume. Similarly, women can never simply be intelligent. Dr. Harleen Frances Quinzel was an esteemed psychiatrist and talented gymnast working at an institution for the criminally insanely. Until she decided to join forces with The Joker and become a scantly clad homicidal maniac known as Harley Quinn. Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley was a world renowned botanist and ecologist. Until she too became a scantly clad homicidal maniac known as Poison Ivy.
I doubt any of these women want to run around in dangerous scenarios dressed like Victoria’s Secret models. So why are they? The answer is the male readership. I’m not against sexually empowered females. Women who are confident in themselves and have a “take no prisoners” attitude are inherently sexy. But what comics are doing is turning these empowered women into some guy’s weird sex fantasy. There’s a fine line between femme fatale and tacky tramp, and they’ve catapulted over it. They’re not being sexy to feel good about themselves; they’re being sexy for the readers. So if modern day superfemales are pulling double duty as sex vixens, why can’t the supermen? Deviant Art artist Beonarri imagined what Green Lantern Hal Jordan would look like if he wore the female variation of his costume: The bottom line is that comics are perpetuating the notion that women can be strong, independent and beautiful but only if they’re hardly wearing any clothing. Comic heroines used to be figures for young girls to look up to and emulate. Now, they’re barely more than hookers who can fly.
OPINION 11/11
STEREOTYPING BY MAJOR IS WRONG, But Let’s Do it Anyway
Stereotyping is a form of oppression and there’s no excuse to let a stereotype affect your judgment of another person. If there were no more stereotypes there is no arguing that the world would be a better place. However, just for the sake of fun, let’s go over a few hypothetical, totallyuntrue, not in any way realistic, stereotypes of college students based on their major. Starting with the art majors, these are always the kids you end up hating because you’re jealous that their homework consists of watching classic movies, drawing and taking pictures. You’ll know if a student is an art major from far away, because they’ll be wearing winter hats and scarves in 90 degree weather. They also seem to love tight hoodies with horizontal stripes and graphic tees with the name of an obscure band. Basically anything sold at Urban Outfitters. The dorm of an art major looks like a no-budget art museum as their entire room is packed with paintings, canvas’, photographs and countless clay pottery which all seem to look like ash trays. If you ask them why they took a black and white picture of a fire hydrant they’ll give you an answer like, “because the fire hydrant looks sad”. Art majors are usually very liberal and accepting people and have no problem “going green” if you know what I mean. (and PAGE 12 | THEMINARETONLINE.COM
judging by the ideas they come up with for art, I’m sure you do.) Then we have education majors. As these students are studying to become teachers some day, they can’t help but naturally become the most caring and patient people on campus because most likely they’ll be dealing with a large group of children some day. And that’s why they’re the perfect person to have around when you’re extremely drunk. They’ll have to deal with screaming, crying, fighting and throwing up on a daily basis, so why not give them some practice now right? The only problem is, the education majors have no problem getting just as drunk as you are. As far as the work an education major is doing, they’re living in a totally ironic world where they’re paying to go to school so they can one day get paid to go to school, and their homework is making up homework. Moving on to another boring major (just kidding… kind of), there’s math. These are the kids who you don’t see that much on campus because they’re always stuck in their dorm doing homework. But not normal homework, this is the kind of work that when you see it, you literally don’t know what you’re looking at. Math majors are always the most logical people because they’ve gotten so used
to dealing with equations with proven answers to everything, which is why they’re the best person to consult when making a decision. Like, “Hey man, should I try to jump from the roof of this nine-story building into a pool 45 feet away?” “The odds you land in the pool from here are around 23 percent... so yea go for it!” Coming to a fun/annoying major, we have the philosophy students. You’ll notice these students on campus because they simply, “don’t care” about most things. These are the kids who end up never sleeping because they just can’t help but wonder “why the grass is green”. Anytime you ask a philosophy major a question, instead of answering it, they’ll just ask you one right back. You might ask them something as simple as “Want to go out drinking tonight?” And they’ll respond with, “Have you ever thought about why we drink though?” Well the real answer to that question is so we can put up with philosophy majors. However if you want an interesting way to kill two hours, just go up to a philosophy major and say, “Does God exist?” What’s even worse/better than a philosophy major though, is a psychology major. Because while a philosophy major focuses on issues regarding the world, a psychology major focuses on issues regarding you. Making
Theater majors are so spontaneous, sometimes you won’t be sure if they’re dressed up for a role they’re playing or just wearing a normal outfit.
it extremely awkward when they diagnose you on a daily basis. “Hey want to go see that new Transformers movie?” “I think you have issues with your parents.” “What?” “Now you’re exhibiting symptoms of paranoia.” “No I’m not!” “Denial.” “You’re crazy!” “Schizophrenia.” “I hate you.” “Misplaced aggression.” But while psychology majors have no problem figuring out who you are, ironically they tend to not know much about who they are until it’s too late and they realize, “holy s***! I’m going to be stuck hearing other people’s problems for the rest of my life!” You’ll have no problem noticing theatre majors, as they have no problem grabbing your attention with an excessive use of make-up at all times and the unmistakable projection of their voice they can’t seem to turn off. In fact, sometimes you won’t be sure if they’re dressed up for a role they’re playing or just wearing a normal outfit because their sense of reality has become so out of touch after changing their entire state of being every day. Basically, they imagine their life as a never ending
episode of Glee, and it actually is. It sucks. But hey, if you’re ever looking for an impromptu song then look no further than a theatre major. As for the stereotypes for nursing majors, that’s hard to make, seeing as you’ll never see one on campus for more than a few seconds. And that’s because they’re working way harder than everyone else, and there’s no point in comparing stories because you’ll always lose. “I studied three hours last night for this economics exam and I’m pretty sure I bombed it, my day was terrible! How was your day?” “I woke up at 5:30 to head over to my 12 hour shift at the hospital and after helping two mothers through birthing a child I had to watch a man die after suffering gun-shot wounds.” (My roommate is a nursing major and that’s an average Saturday for him. That’s right I said “Saturday”! And I said “him”!) Finally coming to one last major to stereotype, we have communications. Being a communications major is a small step above “undecided” as
everyone in communications classes seem to have no idea what they want to do in life. You won’t see communications majors that often because they’re either still asleep at 3 p.m. or just skipping class because missing a few weeks of “TV Analysis” won’t affect their grade too much. Communications majors are very good at talking on cell phones though, and technically that’s a form of “communication” so you can’t say they’re not learning anything. And it may sound harsh down-playing the significance of a communications major, but its OK, because I’m a communications major so I’m allowed to make fun of other communications majors. With all that being said stereotypes are just bias views created by ignorant people with no truth behind them so there’s no reason to take these stereotypes I just created seriously. No reason at all. In fact if you’re mad at me right now for making these stereotypes you’re probably assuming I’m a mean person. But that would be stereotyping. And stereotyping is wrong.
FA S H I O N 11/11
FASHION FORWARD Students dress to stand out in the crowd
TARA TEMKAR ! KATIE MAGRUDER
A
re we as Americans living in a cartoon where we are the characters who wear the exact same outfits every single day, like Spongebob? America isn’t exactly known for setting trends in fashion. In fact, America seems to recycle trends that were in last year or even two years ago from other countries. For example, have you ever seen those dresses with a plain tank top on the upper half and high-waisted skirt (usually with a floral print) that had a thick band wrapped around it? I first saw that dress in Japan two years before it came out in America. Of course, not everyone here dresses this casually, but as for the majority, many people tend to lean towards the comfy zone of shorts and shirt. Being comfortable isn’t a bad thing
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because generally speaking, our culture is not as formal compared to other societies, but what does our laid-back style of dressing say to the rest of the world about us? We’ve fallen into the shirts and shorts status quo that has come to define us, and has taken away our individuality making us part of a group of people rather than one person. Dressing differently is a way to express personality traits that cannot be written or described with words, which is why fashion is considered a medium of art. It takes courage and creativity to dress beyond the boundaries of what we consider normal, and the people I have interviewed showed me that they are not afraid to show off their original sense of style.
Kelly Fitzgerald (Chicago, IL) I met Kelly Fitzgerald in the Riverside building for the second time in my life. The first time I saw her was in Vaughn’s Ultimate Dining. She wore an Indian dress with a scarf wrapped around her head and was carrying a hula hoop. I thought it was rather unusual to see someone who is clearly not Indian wearing an Indian dress. When I met up with her again, she was wearing a fuschia sarang around her neck that was dotted with an intricate silver border, and had a floral bathing suit underneath it. “It’s from Thailand, and many people wear this with a bathing suit,” she explained. This time I didn’t think any of it was unusual; it was just simply Kelly. As we stared out at the skyline of downtown Tampa, she told me about her transition from branded clothes, such as Hollister and American Eagle, towards the more flamboyant and spontaneous style she dons today. She, like many other tweens in middle school, wanted to be part of the crowd, but it started to get expensive having to keep up with buying the same clothes everyone else was wearing. She compared this experience to her old neighborhood in which all the houses looked exactly the same. A “clone house”, she called it. When she reached high school, she realized she wanted to transform her style into something different, but with clothes that didn’t leave her wallet starving, so she began to look in another place: thrift stores. Her mother’s job was to buy plus-sized clothing from thrift stores and resell them online for a much lower price. After having examined thrift stores as carefully as her mother did, Kelly found clothing better suited to her tastes and were much cheaper than clothes at the mall. “It’s nice to bring more color into the world,” and for Kelly, that color not only comes from the varying range of hues she wears, but also colors from other countries. Her current wardrobe includes garments from India, Thailand, Kenya, Pakistan, Italy, Ecuador and even a few Native American pieces. “I’m so used to people asking me “Why are you wearing that?”. I just say, “Because I feel like it.” And it’s true; Kelly is not trying to make a fashion statement by wearing a combination of artistically mismatched apparel, but more of personalized statement that shows off the colors of her beautiful style.
FA S H I O N 11/11 Danny Hernandez (Bogota, Colombia) With their clean-cut streamline designs, European fashion has been in style since, well forever. Many European fashion designers often use the highest quality material possible. European brands, such as Gucci and Burberry, often incorporate simple patterns and neutral, yet sophisticated, colors into sleek suits and dresses that are tailor-made to fit perfectly, which is why Danny Hernandez has been a long-time lover of the Old World’s style, and his clothes clearly express this. “Most guys my age don’t care about dressing up, but I enjoy it. I look forward to going into my closet every morning.” His father’s vintage apparel is the true inspiration and basis for Danny’s clean cut style. “My father grew up very fortunate, so he often flew to Europe and bought designer clothes.” The older styles of the designer clothes have faded from today’s modern style, which is exactly why Danny loves them: “Vintage is perfect because it’s a style you wouldn’t see nowadays. I feel like it’s just unique and it has this appeal to it because of its age and all.” I asked if he ever feels over dressed, and he told me he would rather be looked at for being over dressed rather than being under dressed. Danny says it is important to be unique because “it’s a reflection of your personality.” He describes America’s style of clothing as being “generalized”, and he believes that brands such as Abercrombie and Fitch are where people go to get “nice clothes.” He feels that since most people tend to flock more towards the big name brands, they give off an impression of being lazy because they don’t go out of their way to look for other styles of clothing. Fashion is about personal preference; there is no right or wrong when choosing brand names or styles of clothing, but it tends to become repetitive when all you see are the same logos imprinted on similarly styled clothes that are worn the exact same way. So if you do go for branded clothing, spice it up with a fun accessory, or layer it with other articles of clothing; add something to it that reflects your personality. Danny Hernandez breaks away from what he calls generalized American clothing by opting for clean-cut and sophisticated items that reflect his European-inspired style.
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Dominic Brilliantes (Tampa, FL) The change is considerably large when going from European fashion to Asian fashion. As we move from west to east, the clothes become more detailed, and less simplistic. Basically, Asian clothes are the complete opposite of European clothes. Instead of radiating an air of suave elegance like European styles, Asian styles gravitate more towards looks which appeal to younger generations, such as biker fashion and dainty lace dresses with floral prints. Dom Brilliantes is one of the few individuals I have seen with Asian swag since I’ve gotten to Tampa. I would know because I live in Japan, which is considered one of the fashion capitals of the world. Dom’s parents stressed the importance of making a good first impression through his clothes, and so he has carefully heeded their words. “In my high school, I was one of the two guys who got nominated for trendsetter.” Of course you don’t have to push yourself to be a trendsetter, or get nominated to be one, to show the world that you have style. All you need are clothes and accessories that you know shout out your matchless identity to the world. When I asked Dom about his thoughts on American brands, he said: “I think brands are overdone, but they have some nice clothes. Their graphic tee’s are too generic, though.” Dom says he likes Asian fashion because there is never just one trend, and it so it’s easier to express oneself. However, Asian fashion is very extreme, so he says he likes to “Americanize” it by toning down his flashy shirts with mellow cardigans and maybe even a pair of jeans. A final word of advice from Dom: “If you look good, you’ll have a good day.”
Dominic Brilliantes defines his style by more than the brands he wears. His goal when putting together an outfit is to unite the extreme style of Asian cultures with the more laid back look favored in the United States.
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CA M P U S C R I B S CHANNING HAILEY ! JAKE PATTERSON
There are the students that count taping a Chinese takeout menu to the door and occasionally making the bed as decorating their dorm rooms. Then there are those that take that room with a desk, dresser and bed with a plastic mattress and transform it into a personal getaway with touches that make it uniquely its own. “I took the extra steps to personalize my room because I think your personal space should reflect your interests and the kind of person you are,” said freshman Tiffany Corrada, a resident in Vaughn. Her room displays decorations that reminded her of her childhood as well as some newer seasonal pieces, giving her room an unexpected twist on the Gothic look. She explained, “What makes my room so unique is definitely all the Disney décor and dolls that all really mean something to me as well as the mix of Halloween and horror decorations because I love decorating seasonally!” Senior Haley Riddering is an RA in Austin. Having a room to herself, she was able to add whatever decorations to it she wanted without having to worry about clashing with a roommate’s style. She said the reason she added a personal style to her dorm room was because, “One day, I’ll get married and live in a house with a really cool guy. That really cool guy might not and to live in a room with floral print and Mickey Mouses and random things pinned to the walls. But right now I don’t have that really cool guy’s opinions to worry about, so I’ve taken advantage and made my room awesome.” Here are just some of the awesome rooms we found across campus.
C U LT U R E 11/11
# Fa i l i n g
TH E TE S T A N S WE R S Y O U A LWAYS WA N T E D T O US E
CHELSEA DAUBAR !
If at first you don’t succeed, try again. That’s the message in Richard Benson’s book, F in Exams: The The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers. The book is a collection of real wrong answers students have given on tests or exams in subjects like chemistry, biology, physics, math, history and geography. Benson’s book covers the student’s arrogance by claiming that the answers were given when the student knew there was no hope in answering the question correctly, and therefore attempts to turn a “fail” into a “win.” UT Professor Daniel Dooghan was in a German 102 class at the University of Wisconsin, studying the division of East and West Germany. His professor, taking pity on his students, gave a freebie question on a quiz. He asked students to draw the dividing line between East and West Germany. Most students answered correctly. However, one enterprising student, convinced that it was a trick question, split the country into northern and southern sections, not unlike the Dakotas. Legend has it that the German TAs pinned it up in their office to mock the abilities of their undergraduate students.
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UT Professor Kevin Fridy once gave an exam and a student answered “WTF” on a majority of the questions. Q: What is a nitrate? A: It is much cheaper than a day rate. Q: Describe the chemical differences between H2O and CO2? A: H2O is hot water, CO2 is cold water. Q: What is a fibula? A: A little lie. Q: What is the meaning of the word “varicose”? A: Close by. Q: Describe the shape and structure of the Milky Way. A: It’s kind of like a long, bumpy rectangle. It’s completely covered in milk chocolate, but inside there are two delicious layers: chocolaty nougat and caramel.
C U LT U R E 11/11
WHAT YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE SAYS ABOUT YOU
MIKEY ANGELO RUMORE !
Everyone, consciously or not, has a “rite of passage” movie; that’s the one they force their friends to watch with them. In fact, it’s sort of a friendship prerequisite. And most of the time people aren’t conscious of what their rite of passage film says about them. I first noticed this phenomenon when Chris, the drummer of my teenage rock band, introduced me to The Big Lebowski. It was one of those “dude, you have to watch this” sort of deals. I realized that my friend is just like The Dude, Lebowski’s slacker protagonist. In fact, sometimes I confuse memories of him with scenes from The Big Lebowski, particularly the opening scene in which The Dude, roaming a convenience store in his robe, buys a 69 cent carton of half-and-half using a check. Totally something Chris would do. Thereafter, Chris was The Dude. So, I’ve listed some common rite of passage films. If you find your film on this list, here’s what it says about you:
Outfitters” sort of way. You pass off your fashion sense as irony. You like to say you are well-versed in philosophy, particularly that of Friedrich Nietzche, but in reality you’ve only read about him on Wikipedia, once.
Fight Club
You wear all black in July and complain about the heat.
You are a nonconformist in an “I do all my shopping at Urban PAGE 22 | THEMINARETONLINE.COM
Dazed and Confused
You live with your parents. You smoke pot in your bedroom and tell your parents it’s just exotic incense. You like to tell your friends that your teenage years were just like Dazed and Confused, but you also first heard of Steven Tyler when he joined the cast of American Idol.
Blue Velvet
You make your friends watch this movie because you don’t like your friends much and you’re looking for an easy way to get rid of them. This is especially true if you watch Blue Velvet with a member of the opposite sex.
Nightmare Before Christmas
Spinal Tap
You once played guitar in a Frank Zappa cover band. On multiple occasions, your boss has sent you home for wearing spandex, leopardprint pants on the job. You talk about the time you’ve spent touring, but you neglect to say that you’ve only toured your town’s dive bars.
Shortbus
You only rent/buy movies that contain “Strong Sexual Content.” You fast forward through the boring parts — ie. dialogue, plot, character, etc. — to get to the “juicy bits.” You say “sexually honest” films like Shortbus are art, but you also use the term to describe hardcore pornography.
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Okay, I’m kidding on this one. It’s a kiss of social death to admit having enjoyed any part of the Star Wars prequel trilogy.
Deliverance
You are a self-loathing redneck that thinks Deliverance makes
FROM TOP CLOCKWISE: Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, Rent, Blue Velvet, Nightmare Before Christmas
C U LT U R E 11/11
People who claim to love Fight Club’s message secretly wish they looked like Brad Pitt.
popular southern stereotypes look ridiculous, which may be true generally, but fails in your case.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
You once took more than the recommended amount of Dramamine and had a “bad trip.” You constantly talk about going on your own “Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream,” but end up spending most of your time on StumbleUpon.
Rent
You dream of performing on Broadway, but your last callback came in middle school as a standby understudy. You are known to break into spontaneous song and dance in public places. Your friends know it’s a desperate cry for attention but they pretend it’s not obvious.
Super Troopers
You are average in every way, neither ugly nor beautiful, neither smart nor dumb, neither tall nor short. As a consequence, you are happier than most of your friends. PAGE 24 | THEMINARETONLINE.COM
Clerks
You’ve been wearing the same sneakers since 1998 and you pride yourself on their stench. You play video games upwards of 14 hours a day and spend the remaining 10 sleeping. Somehow, you also work a full-time minimum wage job.
Donnie Darko
As a preteen, you wore enough rubber bracelets to cover your entire arms. You’ve dyed your hair green at least twice in your life, and you’ve seriously contemplated the merits of having a blood orgy.
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OPINION 11/11
THE EVOLUTION OF LABELS:
NERD GETS COOL AND JOCK DROPS FROM THE TOP
JESSICA KEESEE ! SAMANTHA BATTERSBY
My boyfriend is a nerd. My sister is gay. My grandpa was a soldier. I was a punk. What does any of that really mean though? I find myself in a society that heavily relies on the use of stereotypes to define who people are. That sounds quite troubling to me because stereotypes often carry negative connotations with them. They make us assume who someone is without really seeing the individual. Who would want to be defined by a PAGE 26 | THEMINARETONLINE.COM
label throughout their lives, especially if that label is a bad one? What I’ve noticed, however, in this day and age is that stereotypes like that of the nerd, the jock, the punk and more have evolved in the past two or three decades. It seems as if people are even beginning to embrace these stereotypes rather than deplore them. In the age of high school hierarchies and 1980’s films like The Breakfast Club, the name “nerd” was nothing short of an insult. It signified coke bottle glasses, pocket protectors, a report card any mother could be proud of and a social life down the toilet just as their heads would often be. To be called a nerd was one of the lowest of lows on the social hierarchy of labels. Flash forward to the modern age and “nerd” has taken on a whole new meaning. It’s as if being nerdy has
become the cool and fashionable thing to do. From superhero t-shirts and backpacks galore spreading rampant throughout high school and college campuses, to faux over-sized glasses perched on the noses of everyone from celebrities to hipsters, nerd pride is running high. A few decades ago, characters like Steve Urkel from Family Matters and Screech from Saved by the Bell reinforced the unpopular image of what it meant to be a nerd. Nerds of that time were mocked by their peers and were socially inept. Pop culture today, however, embraces the nerd herd with shows like The Big Bang Theory and movies like Fanboys that make being nerdy come off as a cool thing. And with Maxim cover girl and actress Olivia Munn being a selfproclaimed nerd, just about any guy would willingly convert into a gamer or superhero fanatic.
In her book Suck It Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek, Munn commented on the recent nerdom phenomenon. “Nerd. Geek. Used to be if you self-identified that way, you’d get thrown into a locker and never have sex. Or worse, whatever that is… But to me and more and more people I know, being a nerd or a geek means having passion, power, intelligence,” affirmed Munn. I think that it is safe to say that being called a nerd is no longer an insult. I admit, even I possess nerdy qualities. I love video games and I obsess over classic literature. My boyfriend is the biggest nerd I know. He owns more comic books than he owns shirts and will happily quote anything from Star Wars to Batman: The Animated Series. Like Munn, I think there is something pretty fantastic about that. Being a nerd is no longer about being an unpopular loser; it means being an individual. When the nerds rose up, it seemed that the jocks fell off the hierarchy of labels. Jocks were once glamorized as the pride of high school and college sports teams across the country. With cheerleaders flocking to their sides and geeky band girls fantasizing about their muscles, jocks could do no wrong. At least, that is how many 1980’s films made them out to be. Today, however, being called a jock can almost come off as an insult. The label “jock” used today carries the connotation of a beefy muscle man with the intelligence of a rock. Instead, it seems much more appropriate to call someone a student-athlete rather than a jock so as not to carry the negative connotation. What once was a compliment has now turned into an insult, and I think pop culture’s portrayal
OPINION 11/11
of jocks has caused that. Because of that change, I have even taken the word out of my regular vocabulary. I feel much safer calling someone an athlete over a jock. Then there is the label of “punk,” which in past decades was at odds with the stereotypical jock. To be called a “punk” was synonymous with a deviant and a trouble maker. There was nothing positive about being a punk in those times, but that image has changed since then. Punk today has developed into its own subculture through music and fashion. Being a punk today can mean listening to The Ramones, dying your hair bright blue or just standing out from the crowd. I had my own little punk phase in high school where I idolized Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day, wore black converse every day and took up guitar lessons. Being a punk or nerd are no longer insults now. They are lifestyles. Nerds, punks and jocks are one thing, but being labeled as gay is a much more serious label that has also taken a huge turn in the modern age. Several decades ago, coming out to people could be a dangerous thing. There was a serious risk involved and society generally had a negative view on homosexuality. In that time, being gay was something to be hidden; being gay meant having to lie about whom one really was. Being gay today is much more embraced and accepted in our society. From television shows like The L Word and 1 Girl 5 Gays to the recent repeal of the military’s “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy exemplify just how much being labeled as gay has changed in this country. PAGE 28 | THEMINARETONLINE.COM
OPINION 11/11
University of Tampa sophomore Justin Justice, an openly gay student, has experienced that change. “I know a lot of people that did not come out until a lot later in life in the past but I feel like nowadays, people come out sooner and sooner. I did not come out till my sophomore or junior year in high school and I know people now that have come out in elementary school. I have even heard of fifth graders coming out. I feel like people are a lot more apt to accept it now,” asserted Justice. My sister came out when I was still in elementary school so this is a change that has affected me and my family personally. It is beyond reassuring to know I live in an age where being gay is more widely accepted. Though there still may be a long way to go in the acceptance PAGE 30 | THEMINARETONLINE.COM
of the LGBT culture, great leaps have been made. Speaking of the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy of the military, the stereotype that soldiers face has also changed over time. With incidents like the My Lai massacre and the hippie movement promoting “Make love, not war,” military soldiers during the Vietnam War were criticized by society. They were often subject to harassment and were unwelcome when they came home from a tour of duty. They were seen by segments of the general public as cold-blooded killers. That is definitely not the case in society today. In that time period, films like Hamburger Hill and Platoon may have helped to reverse the negative stereotype, depicting a more realistic view of what soldiers went through. Then there is 9/11 of course, which
boosted patriotism in our country. Now, soldiers are infinitely respected; they are heroes and when they return home, society gives them the grand homecomings they deserve. Their image has seemingly reversed since the Vietnam era, and rightfully so. What once was is not always so anymore. Nerds have climbed the social ladder, jocks have fallen off, punks can rock and riot, gays can be out and proud and soldiers can serve with pride. It seems that stereotypical labels are not always set in stone and that their evolution is prone to change. I think that it is important to note that people can be gay and nerdy, they can be punk rock soldiers or they can be anything else for that matter. Stereotypes do not define who we are. We define the stereotypes.
SPORTS 11/11
SUNDAY NIGHT
Warfare F O O T BAL L R E F L E CTS OUR OWN V IOLENT NATUR E
Al Davis was famous for the hard-nose brand of football he encouraged. “Just win, Baby” was his biggest tagline and the late Raiders’ owner was willing to pull out all the stops to achieve his goal.
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I remember hanging out in The Minaret office right after Week One of this years’ NFL season. One of our sports editors asked, “What’s the biggest sports news of the week?” “Jets win!” I said, instinctively. And it was a spectacular win—a comeback against the Dallas Cowboys on the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. The game appealed to me because it was not so much a Jets win as a Cowboys implosion. It conformed to the first reason I watch sports: to watch the train wreck. Another editor was having nothing of it. He thought the ugly, smashmouth play by both teams did not seem artful enough. “That was an awful, sloppy game,” he said. “So what?” I replied. “I watch football because it’s war, not because it’s art.” This is why I always defended recentlydeceased Oakland Raiders’ owner Al Davis, who was, in my mind, the only owner that really got what football is really about: war. In the wake of his death, many sports commentators have repeated his memorable mottos for the Raiders: “Commitment to Excellence” and “Just Win, Baby.” However, my favorite Davis-ism has been predictably left out of the Raiders owner’s memorials. Raider Rule #1: “Cheating is encouraged.” Rule #2? “See rule #1.” The Raiders teams of the late-70s and early-80s personified the Raider Rule. These Raiders alternated black and white gloves to match their opponents’ jersey colors, making holding penalties harder for officials to call. Oakland cornerback Lester Hayes and wide receiver Fred Biletnikoff used “Stickum,” an adhesive spray, to improve their grip on the
PHOTO CREDITS FOUND ON PAGE 46
MIKEY ANGELO RUMORE !
Al Davis back in his heyday, when cheating was encouraged and used effectively for the Oakland Raiders to find success.
football and draw holding penalties when opposing players’ hands stuck to their sprayed jerseys. Offensive lineman Bob Brown often wore a fake broken thumb, specially padded by trainer George Anderson to maximize hits. The Raiders became one of the most penalized teams in the league and opposing players often accused Oakland players of illegal hits; former Pittsburgh Steelers head coach, Chuck Noll, famously referred to certain Raiders players as the “criminal element” of the NFL after Oakland safety George Atkinson’s cheap shot gave Lynn Swann a concussion in the first game of the 1976 season. If I had been there, I’d have told Noll, “Yeah, well, that’s football.” I take Davis’ endorsement of cheating as a reminder to always challenge authority, to always look for ways to bend the rules. This is a lesson children should learn quickly. It doesn’t need to be a shock when they enter the warlike, competitive
world of neoliberal capitalism. They should know that the way to get ahead in this world is to fudge the rules. Thanks, Mr. Davis. Athletes, I know what you’re thinking: That’s not good sportsmanship. But good sportsmanship is about as phony as mafia “protection.” Please. Football is the Roman Gladiator battle minus the death. I want to see bad sportsmanship. I want illegal hits, concussions, busted collar bones, turf toe, etc. And you do too. At least I’m honest about it. I don’t consider this urge any more voyeuristic than, say, watching a boxing match. It’s like every time I watch a Steelers game, there’s the box score, and then there’s the voice in my head going, “Come on, come on, come on, come on, someone break Big Ben’s jaw!” And I detest Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who I consider to be the most successful hack in the NFL, because I secretly admire his playing style, the way he seems to win with little effort, his sloppy
SPORTS 11/11 success. He reminds me of Lt. Kilgore in Apocalypse Now, the careless colonel who somehow cheats death. Ben Roethlisberger seems to cheat interceptions and sacks. And don’t get me started on the virtuoso quarterbacks, the Tom Bradys and the Peyton Mannings. They just bore me, except when they lose in spectacular fashion. That’s why Super Bowl XLII, when the New York Giants toppled the until-then undefeated New England Patriots, is still my favorite Super Bowl. I don’t really admire the Giants’ win. I revel in the Patriots’ loss. That’s good sports. Okay, maybe I’m being facetious. But the violence in football, and the hypocrisy in obscuring this violence behind player fines and youth programs, says something larger about society. I immediately think of the late, great comedian George Carlin’s famous routine “Baseball Versus Football,” which humorously shows how the game of football is modeled after warfare. Football is a game, according to Carlin, where the “quarterback, also known as the field general” must be “on target with his aerial assault” while he “marches his troops into enemy territory” and “punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy’s defensive line.” Carlin points out that the object of football is a far cry from that of baseball, in which “the object is to go home! And be safe!” Is it a coincidence that football’s rise coincides with the United States’ emergence as a global military power? I think it’s fair to say that football has the most compelling claim as “America’s Game.” Ours is a nation that thrives on conflict—political, ideological, religious, economic—all extremely complex, chaotic and seemingly irreconcilable. Football promises a fight between good and evil: my team versus your team. In our complicated and divisive era of history, the struggles represented by the game of football become a conduit by which we manage our own battles. My thoughts? Let’s keep it in the game. PAGE 34 | THEMINARETONLINE.COM
Forces of their own respective dark sides meet and shake hands on the field of play.
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SPORTS
Athletes vs. Athletes UT sports players share their sentiments on one another JOHN HILSENROTH !
11/11
Men’s Basketball
“Volleyball has no conditioning, they just stand still and hit a ball,” said Ashton Graham. “Baseball players don’t care about conditioning.”
Women’s swimming
“I think hockey would have to be the hardest working sport I have ever seen,” said Lauren Richey. “Hockey is completely underestimated as a professional sport. Think about it, guys skating around at incredible speeds with about 10 pounds of gear on them, while also repetitively getting smacked into a wall. It requires the same agility of a track runner, and the same precision of a golfer. On the other hand, one of the simplest sports to play and actually go professional in is golf. Its one of the only sports in the world that you can be 50 and still be at the top of your game. They use golf carts so they won’t have to walk all the way to each hole! I’m sure it takes incredible talent to be good at golf, but just not a lot of strength or stamina.”
Baseball Pitcher Sean Bierman in response to Ashton
Graham: “We aren’t trying to be the best at exercise, because [Eastbound and Down main character] Kenny Powers said so. We live by his teachings.”
PAGE 36 | THEMINARETONLINE.COM
Swimming
“I actually can’t recognize any other athletes because they don’t look fit at all,” said swimmer Zach Sprague . “We don’t consider golf a sport,” said Sprague. “It’s a leisure activity.”
Women’s basketball
“My roommate plays on the tennis team,” said Shelby Porter. “They choose when they practice, they can show up late, and they don’t have to run.” “Basketball is the best, make sure you know that.” “I think swimming would be fun, you play in the water.”
Cross Country
“I think the hardest working sport is probably swimming,” said Heather Nicolosi. Cross country is hard but only if you actually put forth an effort. I think the easiest sport is probably golf.”
Women’s golf
Anonymous- “The swim team just splashes around in the pool and enjoys the sun all day.” “The swim team shave their bodies; that’s disgusting. They shave their whole body, which is wrong for guys to do.”
NEWS 11/11
PADDLING for a PURPOSE AMANDA PRICE ! CHELSEA MICHELSON
Shortly after graduation, senior Hector Manley will be embarking on a kayak journey down the Mississippi River. Many have kayaked the river, but what sets Manley apart is that he is raising money for charity. Beginning in Minnesota in May 2012, one of his goals is to reach St. Louis for the Fourth of July. The total trip is approximately 100 days and 2,700 miles.
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Hector Manley lost his legs in an earthquake in Ecuador in 2001. This summer, he will be kayaking down the Mississippi River to raise money for The Wheelchair Foundation and the Wounded Warrior Project.
NEWS 11/11
Shortly after graduation, senior Hector Manley will be embarking on a kayak journey down the Mississippi River. Many have kayaked the river before, but what sets Manley apart is that he is raising money for charity. Beginning in Duluth, Minnesota in May 2012, one of his goals is to reach Saint Louis for the fourth of July. The total trip is approximately 100 days, 2,700 miles. His voyage, Paddling for a Purpose, will raise money for the Wheelchair Foundation and the Wounded Warrior Project. “I’ve heard it’s the greatest experience of your life to give something to people who could otherwise not move around; to give them that peace of mind and mobility,” Manley said. Born in El Salvador, Manley endured losing his legs in a 2001 earthquake. He was 11-years-old. Americans Don and Karen Manley were on the board of trustees at the hospital he was sent to. They brought him to their home in Ohio, where he was fitted with prosthetic legs, and later made the decision to adopt him. “Coming to the States was like being a baby again. I had to learn how to talk and walk as well,” he said.
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Manley excelled in his new environment. He gained recognition for learning English so quickly. Not only did he learn to walk, but as a high school Freshman he made the Varsity golf team. When his parents moved to Naples, Fla., Manley founded the golf team at his new school, Seacrest Country Day. During his senior year he was awarded the Key to the City of Naples for his contribution to the community and overcoming obstacles. Manley has been kayaking at UT to endure the 8 to 10 hour sessions he will do on the Mississippi. He keeps his kayaks at the Boathouse on campus. “I plan on doing it probably four times a week for one to four hours,” he explained. Often, he can be seen out with the crew team at 6:30 a.m. Manley welcomes anyone who wants to kayak with him. “The weather is the unknown variable. I’ll try very hard to stick with a schedule,” he said. “I’m giving myself an extra day or so to make it up.” Don Manley will be on the river beside him in a boat. Karen will join the pair often, as will Don’s father, Larry Manley. Sponsors such as the Rotary Club will help
Manley raise money for his causes. Anyone can make a donation toward his efforts. One hundred percent of the money raised will go to the charities “I want to help people in other parts of the world,” he explained. He looks forward to personally distributing the wheelchairs anywhere in the world. In El Salvador, prosthetics are not as advanced. In the U.S., Manley recovered after seven months, and said that, “If I had stayed in El Salvador I wouldn’t be able to. Here, if someone loses an arm or a leg they’re expected to be walking again. In other countries if you lose an arm or a leg, the opportunities are very limited.” Wheelchairs are the best option of mobility for many third world countries. His other cause, the Wounded Warrior Project, is for our American veterans. “I can relate to a lot of what they have to go through, rehab and therapy; it’s a long difficult process,” Manley said. “Patriotism is very important to me, I want to help our servicemen and women. I am thankful for all that they do for us.” He also plans to have fun along the journey. “The trip will include fishing, which I’m excited about. One of my goals in life is to play golf in all fifty states, so I’ll have the golf clubs with me,” he said. He spoke enthusiastically about stopping in small river towns and meeting new people. The details of his trip will be part of the autobiography he plans to write beginning in January 2012. Paddling for a Purpose gives Manley the chance to help others the way he was helped before. His finish line is New Orleans on Labor Day Weekend. “I want as many kayaks out there as possible finishing with me,” Manley said with a grin. “I want there to be hundreds of kayaks.”
ABOVE: Along with raising money, Manley plans to have a good time on his trip. He hopes to make time to go fishing, golf, and get to better know some of the small towns along the Mississippi River. LEFT: Manley has been kayaking on the Hillsborough River to prepare for the trip. He can be found out on the river many mornings by 6:30.
SPORTS 11/11
Fantasy Football: your handbook to success
DANIEL FEINGOLD !
It’s a Volatile Game Aaron Bresky, a 29-year-old Tampa, Fla., native currently living in Braintree, Mass., has been playing fantasy football for six years. In 2009, he was champion of two of his leagues and accumulated $1,500 in winnings. He then won a league last year. Currently, he is a member of four leagues. While he certainly wins a lot, there are still the multiple times that he doesn’t. Winning isn’t easy. “It’s just like regular football—injuries happen and you kind of get screwed,” Bresky explained. “It happens all the time so it’s hard to come back from that.” While injuries happen no matter what, fantasy football changes each year as the NFL changes. Matt Camp, a senior writer for fantasyguru.com who also hosts two fantasy football-related shows on Sirius/XM Radio, explained this notion. “You’re seeing more guys who are gonna come out of nowhere because the league has evolved,” said Camp, who has been a fantasy football competitor for 15 years and is currently in six leagues. “You’re seeing roles in football become more important.” Running backs are a perfect example of
PAGE 42 | THEMINARETONLINE.COM
what Camp is talking about. As he explained, there are only a handful of guys who get most of the touches in the backfield for their teams. Nowadays, we are seeing more two-headed and even three-headed rushing attacks, and that is something you as a fantasy player must adapt to, whether it be through your drafting strategies or waiver wire pickups. To help you along your way throughout the fantasy season, let’s take a look at some keys to playing the game properly—and staying on top.
“Ouch, my leg!” –Injuries What happens when guys like Charles, Indianapolis’ Peyton Manning or Tennessee’s Kenny Britt go down for most of the season? Tom Krasniqi, columnist for fantistics.com and host of the Culpepper Kurland Fantasy Football Hour Friday nights on ESPN 1040 in Tampa, has an answer. “Usually when a superstar gets hurt, the first thing I do, the first question I ask myself is, ‘who’s his backup, and is that guy going to be somewhat competent in taking his place?’” In the case of Manning, you look at Kerry
PHOTO CREDITS FOUND ON PAGE 46
You drafted Kansas City Chiefs’ running back Jamaal Charles with your first pick. In week 2, he gets injured and is out for the remainder of the season. What now? Some 27 million Americans participate in fantasy sports, and more than 20 million of those people are geared specifically towards football, according to estimates made by the Fantasy Sports Trade Association in August. Rest assured numerous fantasy football owners were beside themselves when Charles, their star player, was carted off the field after tearing his ACL. Get used to incidents like these, because they are just the beginning of the obstacles to overcome during a fantasy season. There are strategies of playing the game victoriously. Those who are new to fantasy football may need to be clued in, while those who claim to be masters of it don’t know everything there is to know. … Are you ready for some football?
Collins—38 and now on the sideline concussed— and Curtis Painter—inexperienced at best—and must look elsewhere. Krasniqi said to explore all options, whether it’s going to someone competent on your bench, making a waiver wire pickup or finding a trading partner. Someone competent on your bench would hopefully mean you drafted wisely and have a solid NFL starter who was a mid-to-late round fantasy pick (Joe Flacco is a fairly reliable second quarterback, or how about those who got lucky when drafting Cam Newton in the last few rounds?) When players get injured but may not necessarily miss the whole season, sometimes it could be worth keeping them around. Whether or not your league has an injured reserve spot per roster, an elite player coming back from injury or off suspension (2010’s Vincent Jackson, anyone?) could help to bolster your team for a playoff run. Jamaal Charles had just 83 yards on 12 carries before being lost for the remainder of the season due to injury. Charles, who is pictured here wearing the Cheifs’ throwback uniform, was a valuable asset in both the NFL and fantasy football.
If you are strongly against using Twitter to your advantage, rotoworld.com is the next best option for up-to-date fantasy football news.
Twitter or Death Checking out news on your league page and watching Sportscenter isn’t going to cut it anymore. Camp put it as simple as possible for the fantasy faithful. “If you’re not on Twitter and you play fantasy football, you’re gonna lose.” With all kinds of news outlets on Twitter, it is essential for you to keep up to date on the goings on with not just your players on their real life teams, but backups and guys who
may be primed for a waiver wire pickup. And while national reporters like ESPN’s Adam Schefter and Chris Mortensen are credible sources to follow, you should keep track of teams’ beat writers as well. They’ll give you the hometown scoop that the national guys don’t have. Along with that, follow as many Twitter accounts related to pro teams— their official page, public relations
SPORTS 11/11
Draft time has long passed, but for future reference, here are some essential drafting “do’s” and “don’ts”.
page, or the actual players’ Twitter accounts. You will get a better feel for what’s going on with that player and his team. “Twitter has put fantasy football into a whole different universe,” Camp said. “You have to be on top of this news as it comes out because if you’re not, somebody else will be and they’ll get to the waiver wire first and make the move you could’ve made.” Camp has gone from his middle school days of tracking statistics by hand in the newspaper, to now being active on Twitter. He both fields questions from fantasy owners and does his own due diligence by studying up. Times have changed; time to get on Twitter. Bresky himself actually is not active on Twitter. However, he uses another online outlet that is the next best option—rotoworld.com. This website is a fantasy sports haven, football included. Bresky likes it because it has beat writers’ Twitter feeds coupled with blurbs on player news and updates.
DO: - Have draft rankings printed out and by your side for the draft. - Be cognizant of what type of league you’re in. For instance, points per reception leagues can drastically change the way people draft. - Plan ahead by drafting the backup for one of your star running backs. - Pay attention to everyone else’s selections. While you focus on your next pick, see each league member’s tendencies and be aware of who is off the board.
DON’T: - Draft a defense before round 12 in a 15 or 16 round draft. - Draft a kicker until the last two or three rounds of a draft. - Try drafting all sleepers. Pick and choose your spots with a sleeper player, but you still want dependable, go-to guys to fill up the majority of your roster. - Waste your time on starters who you know won’t produce (a la Reggie Bush, Pierre Thomas). Instead, draft players with a lot of upside (Daniel Thomas, James Starks). - Overload your team with players who share the same bye week.
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D-Fence Defense may win championships in reality, but this is fantasy. Stop worrying about drafting a defense in the early-to-mid rounds of a draft. Krasniqi said that if an elite defense is out there in round 12 or later, then go for it. Otherwise, there’s a wiser option. “If you’re not fortunate enough to get a [top defense], I would play the waiver wire every week and I would play matchups.” This takes a bit of extra work each week as you scramble to find a defense worthy of giving the start, but it essentially saves you a draft pick. You may even end up picking a defense that turns out to be halfway decent and worth keeping. Better yet, that draft pick in the 10th round could have ended up being used on a fantasy stud/sleeper. So stop trying to be “the steel curtain” circa the ‘70s; position players trump defense in fantasy football nearly every time.
It Takes Two to Tango (and Trade) As both Camp and Krasniqi alluded to, always staying active and looking to make some kind of move to help your team is key. Keep your lips sealed while doing so, though. “Do you play cards, like Texas Hold ‘Em? You never want to reveal your hand,” Krasniqi said. “You try and keep things close to the vest. You try and keep things basic because a lot of guys will try and pick your brain. They’ll try [to] figure out what you’re trying to do before you do it.” Instead, you should be the one to prey on owners with clear holes in their team. You can take advantage of a fellow league member in a number of different ways— if he gets emotional and overreacts about a star player
having a poor week, go in and swoop that player away for less value than he’s worth; if you know a league member is say, an avid Cowboys’ fan, perhaps you can sell high on a Tony Romo or Dez Bryant; maybe the easiest of all, prey on a team that just lost one of its top picks (a la Jamaal Charles or Peyton Manning). But by all means, don’t start making trades because you think all the cool kids are doing it. “To make a trade [just] to make a trade is going to kill you,” Camp warned. “Nine times out 10, it’s going to come back to bite you.” Another nugget of useful information: you can sell higher on a player who may be having a down year, but who has a big name. As he continues to age and lose productivity, Tennessee’s Chris Johnson will probably never be the same player he was, but remind your trading partner about his near record-breaking season in 2009. The name “Chris Johnson” is more valuable than the actual player.
QUICK TIPS: “If you have a really solid team all around, then I’m waiting for people to come to me. Don’t ever force yourself to make a trade.” – Matt Camp “If you have a great quarterback-receiver combination, you can double up on points and really, really be ahead of the game.” – Tom Krasniqi “When you’re in week one and you’re freaking out about guys not putting up big numbers— you can’t overreact.” – Matt Camp “I always get criticized for deals I make, but sometimes you have to take a risk. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes it doesn’t.” – Aaron Bresky “Any defense playing the Colts [this season] is a good matchup.” – Tom Krasniqi
Parting Thoughts Playing the game successfully means understanding football and putting in extra effort. Perhaps most importantly, though, you must constantly be active. “Whether you’re in dead last, whether you’re at .500 or whether you’re in first place and beating up everybody, you can never rest on your laurels,” Camp asserted. The difference between an informed, successful fantasy player and one that’s not is understanding that an injury to Peyton Manning will affect essentially all position players in that offense. It’s realizing that a big-name player who’s off to a slow start has a tough schedule ahead, and acting accordingly. But with all this information and all these tips, the difference between a good fantasy football player and a bad one can also come down to just pure luck. “I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that luck wasn’t a big part of this,” Camp admitted.
Peyton Manning’s injury affects not only his fantasy value, but the rest of the Colts’ position players’ value as well.
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