Leadership Summer 2017 by Ryan Lucas

LEADERSHIP Summer 2017

Clarifying Your Work Expectations pg. 5 Raise Your Emotional Intelligence at Work pp. 6-7

A Real 8-Minute Workout Dealing with Cranky Co-Workers How to Handle Problem People During a Meeting

Leadership Summer 2017

MINES & Associates 10367 West Centennial Road Littleton, Colorado 80127 800.873.7138 www.MINESandAssociates.com

A word from your Account Management Team... Welcome to the Summer 2017 issue of Leadership!

With this latest issue we are here to support your leadership development and organizational goals to make sure you and your employees are productive all summer long.

First, to keep you in top-shape without taking a lot of time check out “A Real 8-Minute Workout” on page 4. Make sure your expectations are being heard loud and clear with “Clarifying Your Work Expectations” on page 5. “Raise Your Emotional Intelligence at Work” on page 6 will help keep you nice and sharp. Finally learn how to handle difficult interaction like a pro with “Dealing with Cranky Coworkers” on page 8 and “How to Handle Problem People During Meetings” on page 10. Conflict in the workplace? Remember that with MINES you have access to unlimited supervisor consultations and conflict management services. We are here to help. Please call us at 1-800-873-7138 anytime. To your health!

– The MINES Team

. . . . . . . . C re d i t s . . . . . . .

The Staywell Company, LLC © 2016 A Real 8-Minute Workout pg. 4 Clarifying Your Work Expectations pg. 5 Raise Your Emotional Intelligence at Work pp. 6-7 Dealing with Cranky Co-Workers pp. 8-9 Life Advantages - Author Delvina Miremadi © 2017 How to Handle Problem People During Meetings pp. 10-11

2017 Total Wellbeing is your way to connect the dots between the 8 core dimensions of wellness: Physical, Occupational, Intellectual, Environmental, Financial, Social, Spiritual, and Emotional Wellness. Understanding these dimensions is the first step toward a sense of complete wellbeing. In 2017 we take this concept of wellbeing and tie it into the bigger picture, your community. Your community’s wellbeing and your own are tied together in a two-way street. Simply, you influence others, and in turn they influence you. All year we will be looking at ways to strengthen your connection with your community by providing information, insight, and resources to help you on a personal level along with ways to give back to the community so that we can all help each other be well and flourish!

Total Wellbeing Community

In 2017 we aim to build on the concept of communal wellbeing. We will be providing resources, stories, and tools to help you stay well and it turn help those around you with their wellbeing. Check out our articles in this magazine and head to minesandassociates.com/ newsletters to check out our monthly newsletter with even more great wellness information.

Enhancing Social Wellness Inspire Wellbeing

The 8 dimensions of wellbeing don’t just apply to one person, they apply to our entire society. Social influence is a huge factor that contributes to each of our levels of wellness, but it all starts with the individual. With this in mind, our challenge to you in 2017 is to see how you can not only enhance your own wellbeing but those around you as well. Get out there, get involved, be well, and see if you can’t inspire your friends and loved ones to do the same. Game on!

Total

Wellness Webinars

Support from the experts

Wellbeing

Join our partner, Brown Richards, for any of their monthly webinars. 2017 will cover great new topics ranging from improving your credit, having a stress free summer, turning negatives to positives, and much more! Visit our website to learn more, or register for upcoming events at www.minesandassociates.com/webinar.

Is there a topic you’d like to see us explore? We’d love to hear from you. Shoot us an e-mail at communications@minesandassociates.com and let us know what you’d like to see.

www.MINESandAssociates.com | 800.873.7138

A Real 8-Minute Workout Routine Eight minutes in the morning -- that’s all it takes to help launch you toward a fitter, trimmer lifestyle, according to fitness trainer Jorge Cruise, author of “8 Minutes in the Morning: A Simple Way to Start Your Day That Burns Fat and Sheds the Pounds”.

While 30 minutes a day of any kind of physical activity is the most widely advocated prescription for getting active, Mr. Cruise suggests strength training is an important key to weight management,. He bases his successful weight-loss program on a firm foundation of brief morning strengthtraining sessions, plus healthful eating and -- when one feels ready for it -- fitness walking for the aerobic benefits. “Americans are among the most overweight people in the world,” says Mr. Cruise. “About 80 percent of Americans are overweight and 35 percent are clinically obese. People think fat itself is the problem, but that’s just the symptom -- the source is the lack of lean muscle tissue.”

Before beginning any exercise program, check with your doctor first. Once you’ve done that, start with muscle-toning exercises, he advises. Not only can they more quickly shape up your body, they’ll also strengthen your bones, reduce your injury risk and increase your metabolism so you burn calories more quickly.

Eight minutes in the morning

Time is one of our scarcest and most precious commodities. So Mr. Cruise asked himself, “What can I do to help get people healthy that doesn’t require a lot of time?” He determined strength training at home in the morning was an ideal solution.

Mr. Cruise’s tips for a workout include:

• Use a hand weight that causes muscle fatigue by the 12th repetition. If you can do only five or six reps, the weight is too heavy. If you can do 15 to 20, it’s too light. • Vary your routine daily, starting with major muscle

Leadership Summer 2017

groups and moving to smaller ones. For example: Work the chest and back on Monday, shoulders and abdominals on Tuesday, arms on Wednesday.

A Sample Program

Mr. Cruise’s book and Web site (www.jorgecruise.com) illustrate exercises you can do at home. The following sample session from “8 Minutes in the Morning” requires no equipment. Begin with a brief warm-up. Do 12 repetitions of the first exercise, then 12 of the second one. Repeat, for a total of four sets of each exercise. End with a brief cool-down. Check with your doctor before starting any exercise program.

Knee Pushup: Kneel on a mat on all fours with your knees hip-width apart, your hands slightly wider than shoulderwidth apart, and your fingers pointing forward. Bring your pelvis forward so your body creates a straight line from your knees to your head. Inhale and lower your chest toward the floor -- keeping your back straight and your abs tight -- until your elbows are even with your shoulders. Exhale and push back up to the starting position, keeping your elbows slightly bent. Bird Dog: Kneel on a mat on all fours with your knees hipwidth apart, your hands slightly wider than shoulder-width apart, and your fingers pointing forward. Keeping your head up, exhale and simultaneously lift and extend your left arm and your right leg. Keep your back straight and abs tight throughout the move. When your arm and thigh are parallel to the floor, hold for a count of three. Inhale as you lower them back to the starting position. Repeat with the opposite arm and leg. Continue to switch sides until you’ve done 12 reps on each side. M

Clarifying Your Work Expectations The thought of talking to your boss about your work expectations probably sends shivers down your spine. But if you’re a new employee and want to start off on the right track, or if you’ve worked at a company for years and feel burned out, stressed or unhappy, you’ll need to muster up the courage to have just such a conversation. To be successful when you do, you must be clear about your expectations, and you must communicate them in a way that will keep your boss listening. “In a typical employment situation, certain expectations -such as salary, hours and job duties -- are clearly understood by both employer and employee. Other expectations, however, may be so closely linked to your idea of work that you simply assume the expectations will be met without clearly stating them,” reports Inscape Publishing Inc. in “Managing Work Expectations -- Transforming Attitudes,” a self-assessment workbook.

The “other” job expectations

According to the workbook, these expectations often go unspoken: 1. Recognition 2. Autonomy

3. Expression

4. Career growth 5. Diversity

6. Teamwork 7. Structure

8. Environment 9. Balance

10. Stability

To help clarify your thoughts, write each of these expectations on a separate sheet of paper, then answer these three questions for each one.

1. What do you expect? For example, let’s consider “autonomy.” Do you expect the freedom to make decisions about your job? How much supervision do you want? 2. Where are you now? How well has this expectation already been met? While you want to primarily focus on the un-met ones, it’s also important your boss know what’s working for you.

3. Where do you want to go? Company policy or structure may prevent some expectations from being met, so you must be willing to make some compromises. You must come up with possible solutions to your un-met expectations.

When to talk to your boss

A good time to talk is during your regularly scheduled performance review.

Make practical suggestions

It’s essential you come prepared to discuss several possible solutions for about three of your expectations. You want to give your boss choices, so make your requests short and concise. Put your suggestions in writing and, when you leave, say, “I’ve written these down for you to consider. Thank you for your time and your interest.” Follow up with a thank-you letter.

A powerful impact

Whether spoken or unspoken, met or un-met, work expectations have a powerful impact on your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, and are the key drivers of your attitude. Taking the time to address them can increase your success and reduce your stress at work. M

Summer 2017 Leadership

Raise Your Emotional Intelligence at Work What do you do when someone jumps in front of you at the deli counter, cuts you off on the freeway or takes credit for your work? How you address these and similar situations constitutes your emotional intelligence (EQ). “If you wish you had behaved differently in any of those situations, you may be a victim of ‘emotional hijacking’”, says Adele B. Lynn, president of the Adele Lynn Leadership Group in Belle Vernon, Pa., and author of The EQ Difference: A Powerful Plan for Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work.

An emotional hijacking is when the rational, thinking part of your brain is bypassed because of your intense emotions. When this happens, you’re so emotionally fired up you can’t think or solve problems.

How high is your EQ?

We all know that IQ measures a person’s intelligence. But what exactly is EQ? Ms. Lynn defines emotional intelligence as your ability to manage yourself and your relationships. Why do you think employers interview prospective employees when they could easily spend less time just testing them for their intelligence?

Here’s why: In interviews, employers are looking for personality traits. When doing interviews, managers can experience how people communicate, determine their personality and whether they’ll fit in with the rest of the staff. This is important, as one employee who can’t get along can disrupt an entire workplace. At your office, you may know some very intelligent workers who can’t get along with people, and whose emotions easily get out of hand. Their inability to handle their emotions makes them destructive employees, in spite of their intelligence.

Start with yourself

You don’t have control over other people’s behavior, but you can learn to control your own. Therefore, you need to start by raising your own EQ.

A notebook is an important tool for raising your EQ. Writing down your reactions to emotional situations will help you become aware of your behavior and think rationally.

Leadership Summer 2017

In The EQ Difference, Ms. Lynn discusses seven steps to improve emotional intelligence. Three of those steps are:

Observe

“Pay attention to your emotions. Try to observe while you’re ‘in the moment,’ especially during conflict situations,” says Ms. Lynn.

Observe both your feelings and reactions in difficult or stressful situations. Are you thinking only of yourself, or can you empathize with the other person? A person with a high EQ is able to think not only of his own needs, but also empathize with others. Observe how others react in their words and body language or behavior.

Interpret

“Try to determine your triggers and other indicators that prompt you to lose your cool or become fearful,” says Ms. Lynn. When you have intense negative emotions, they’re usually related to your fears.

Write down any fears you believe may have triggered your reaction. Then go over them one by one and determine which, if any, are realistic in this situation. Most fears come from past experiences, so take this one step further and try to remember when this fear started. When you analyze your fears, you take away their power to control your emotions.

Pause

Engage in a long pause to help you regain your intentions. Without the pause, you may react without thinking. Many people avoid pauses because they feel uncomfortable when there’s a silence. It’s OK to feel uncomfortable and take that long pause anyway. Next, when by yourself, write in your notebook what you observed, your interpretation and how you will handle a similar situation next time. M

Summer 2017 Leadership 7

Dealing with Cranky Co-Workers

Cranky co-workers or bosses can make your work life difficult, but you can take steps to improve your situation.

“One of the hardest things for us to learn in our relationships -- both work and personal -- is that we can operate independently of other people’s bad moods, but we have to work at it. Unless you mentally immunize yourself, you can be infected by other people’s crankiness,” says Leslie Charles, author of “Why Is Everyone So Cranky?” When you work with cranky people, you can choose to be happy instead of miserable by following this simple formula: Stop, look and listen, then respond.

Stop

“When something happens, ask yourself if this is a small, medium or large annoyance, and respond accordingly,” says Ms. Charles. Don’t respond to your co-worker with sarcasm, ridicule or anger, which will only escalate the problem. And don’t take your boss’ cranky remarks personally; stress often causes managers and supervisors to act crabby. Also, don’t deplete your energy by obsessing about what you should have said.

Look

Observe when the crankiness occurs. Do you notice it most during a certain time of the day or on a particular day of the week? Does it occur when the person is dealing with a lot of work stress or personal hardship? Take note of when and where the crankiness occurs to identify any pattern, which will make the grouchy behavior more predictable and less threatening.

Listen

What’s the cranky person’s real message? Are you in any way part of the problem? Should you change something about your own behavior?

Respond

Although some people may purposefully use on-the-job crankiness to get their way, others can’t help themselves. It’s a reflection of their inner turmoil. In either case, don’t remain silent.

“Don’t respond to your co-worker with sarcasm, ridicule or anger, which will only escalate the problem. And don’t take your boss’ cranky remarks personally; stress often causes managers and supervisors to act crabby. Also, don’t deplete your energy by obsessing about what you should have said.”

Leadership Summer 2017

Here’s how to give an assertive, yet compassionate response:

Step 1. Agree

In a neutral tone of voice, agree with any part of the cranky person’s statement that may be true, and ignore the false claims.

For example, if your boss complains you don’t care about the company because you turned in your report late, reply with, “You’re right, I did turn in my report late last week.” Finding some part to agree with will calm the cranky person. Ignore the accusation that you don’t care about the company.

Step 2. Reflect

Next, reflect on how the cranky person might be feeling by saying, “You seem frustrated,” “It sounds like you’re having a bad day” or “You look like you’re under a lot of stress.” It will pleasantly surprise the grouch that someone else cares.

Step 3. Ask

In a neutral tone of voice say, “I don’t like to be talked to in that way because it sounds angry and disrespectful. Would you please speak to me in a calmer tone of voice?”

Consequences

Cranky people often continue behaving badly because their targets remain silent. By responding, you’ll make the offender feel somewhat uncomfortable, and most people won’t make changes until they experience such discomfort.

A happier you

No one can guarantee that cranky co-workers or managers will change, because it’s not easy to change personality traits. If you take the above steps, however, you’ll feel happier because you’ll be standing up for yourself in a compassionate, respectful manner. M

“Cranky people often continue behaving badly because their targets remain silent. By responding, you’ll make the offender feel somewhat uncomfortable, and most people won’t make changes until they experience such discomfort.”

Summer 2017 Leadership 9

How to Deal with Problem-People During a Meeting

Whether you are running a meeting or participating in a meeting, it’s not uncommon to come across difficult personalities. In order to make meetings as productive and positive as possible, it’s important to learn how to deal with problem people so that they don’t disrupt the meeting’s success. Read the following tips and techniques to help you deal with common types of problem people:

The Tyrant is so verbal that it is difficult for others to contribute. He or she tends to monopolize the conversation so few others can give their say. If you are faced with a Tyrant: • Minimize eye contact. • Ask questions directly of others, such as, “Joe, what was the outcome of your project?” • Set limits in a cordial manner. Saying something like, “Thank you for the input, but we need some feedback from other group members.”

The Nonparticipant is quiet, rarely contributing to discussion. In order to encourage participation from a Nonparticipant:

• Make eye contact, spending time to connect with him or her. • Ask the person questions; the coworker could just be shy, needing a little confidence to come out of his or her shell. Being invited to answer simple questions could be all the person needs to be more vocal. • Assign a role to the quiet person where it will be necessary to contribute. For example, ask the team member to take notes, change slides, or time presentations. • Have each person at the table respond to a question, moving one-by-one until everyone, including the Nonparticipant, answers. • Support the Nonparticipant. In private, use encouragement, like telling him or her that he or she did a good job participating in the meeting or that you’d be pleased to hear more ideas in a group setting.

Non-Participant? “Ask the person questions; the coworker could just be shy, needing a little confidence to come out of his or her shell. Being invited to answer simple questions could be all the person needs to be more vocal.”

Leadership Summer 2017

The Scene Stealer pulls others off topic by talking about new, flashy things rather than the meeting topic. To handle a Scene Stealer: • Ask other coworkers for a response. See how they feel about talking about new things, rather than on-topic concerns. • Meet with the Scene Stealer in private to explain why it’s important to handle business issues in organized ways. Encourage him or her to stay on-topic, and indicate that new topics will be addressed in meetings when needed. • The Saboteur criticizes elements of the meeting. The team member may complain about how time is being used, how the meeting is structured, or different points and topics of the meeting. This person is so negative that the meeting becomes unproductive. To handle a Saboteur: • Invite the group to respond. A conflicting opinion may make the Saboteur back down. • If conflicting opinions don’t work, tell the Saboteur that he or she is wasting time and hindering progress. Then, continue on with the meeting.

The Interrupter interrupts others intentionally or unintentionally. To deal with an Interrupter:

• Reiterate that everyone in the group must speak when it is his or her turn. • Hold up your hand while this person is trying to interrupt. This will show that you understand that the individual is trying to speak, but that you are not yet finished. • Be firm. Tell the Interrupter that you or another person has not finished speaking. • Call on the Interrupter when he or she has waited for a turn to speak. This will show that you value the person as a group member, but that meetings should be fair for everyone.

The Kibitzer starts side conversations with colleagues. To handle a Kibitzer:

• Tell the Kibitzer to share what’s being said with everyone. • Stop talking and look at the person. Then, bring the meeting back when he or she quiets.

Scene Stealer? “Ask other coworkers for a response. See how they feel about talking about new things, rather than on-topic concerns.”

Summer 2017 Leadership 11

A note to Supervisors... From time to time, situations arise when a supervisor is not sure how to respond to a particular behavior. The Employee Assistance Program is available on a 24/7 basis for consultation on issues such as: referring an employee to the EAP, how best to respond to and manage difficult behavior in the workplace, and whether training or some other form of group intervention (such as an organizational intervention or a conflict resolution) may be helpful for a particular situation. The EAP can serve as an ally to anyone who is working with a troubled employee.

• 24/7 supervisor consultation regarding problems in the workplace

• Assessment of behavioral risk on the job • Return-to-Duty conferences

• Advisory services in writing, revising, and implementing policies

• Supervisor and Manager training

• Unlimited formal Work Performance Referrals

• Coaching for management and leadership skills

• Conflict resolution for supervisor-employee problems

MINES believes that employees are an organization’s most valuable resource. Your EAP is always available to provide you and your employees with support.

The MINES Team

Questions? Reach us at 800.873.7138 | www.MINESandAssociates.com