February 2013

february 2013

A shout out to all of the ‘not-Moms’ {Page 24}

steel-cut oats on a school day? yes, please! {Page 14}

our resident pediatrician answers your questions! {Page 12}

Hot stuff for cool toddlers {Page 18}

Tough Topics

Kids and grief

Reactions vary depending upon age and comprehension {Page 34}

Hoodwinked!

How new technology allows kids to dupe adults {Page 37}

yikes! Did your child just say #&*!>? {Page 16}

+

CA M P ResouRCe s! {40}

Food Study The University of Minnesota is conducting a research study on family food preferences.

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Contents Playing Singing Ear Training Composing Ages 3-Adult

Features

CHILDREN’S YAMAHA MUSIC SCHOOL

34

Celebrating Over 40 Musical Years in Minnesota!

CYMS Edina: Edina Community Center 5701 Normandale Rd

CYMS Roseville: Hamline Center 2819 Hamline Ave N

The grieving child

www.cyms.ws • 612-339-2255

Children's Yamaha MNP 0113 12.indd 1

12/18/12 9:17 AM

When death visits a family, don’t discount that your child doesn’t understand or feel its emotional impact.

By Kelly Jo McDonnell

Calendar

26 February at a glance

28 Parent picks

6 Editor’s note The knee-deep experience

By Kathleen Stoehr

50 Real life Real mom Anna Vig talks fashion and kids

By Kathleen Stoehr

Resources 40 camp listings

4 February 2013

28 Out & about

minnesota parent February

Departments 8 chaTTer A little bit of news and information for your quiet time reading

By Kathleen Stoehr 10 baby on board Breast is best

By Shannon Keough 12 ask The pediaTrician Answering your questions about formula, online activity and sleep

By Dr. Peter Dehnel

14 in The kiTchen Food and food products we love

By Kathleen Stoehr 16 TWeen scene Watch your language!

By Joy Riggs

St. Paul Public Schools MNP 0213 S3.indd 1

1/8/13 4:28 PM

Are you currently pregnant or had a baby during the previous month and interested in participating in a telephone-based health and wellness program?

The University of Minnesota is seeking women who are currently pregnant or less than 6 weeks postpartum to participate in a research study examining the effect of exercise and wellness on mood following childbirth

18 hoT sTuff Toddler time!

By Kathleen Stoehr

• Participants receive a motivational exercise program or a health and wellness program, which begins after the birth of your baby (participants can sign up for the program during pregnancy) • Program delivered to you via the mail and phone • Must be 18 years of age or older; must not currently exercise regularly

20 groWs on Trees

• Must not take antidepressants

Building your financial foundation

• Must have a history of depression

By Kara McGuire

• You will receive $100 for your time

22 book shelf Explorers and pioneers

By Kathleen Stoehr 24 relaTionships That’s right: I’m ‘Not-Mom’

By Sean Toren

Call 612-625-9753 or email mompro@umn.edu to see if you qualify for this research study U of M - Kinesiology Dept MNP 1212 S3.indd 1

11/15/12 2013 2:37 PM5 February

From the editor

Keep your child safe.

More than 60,000 young children end up in emergency rooms every year because they got into medicines while their parent or caregiver was not looking.

Always put every medicine and vitamin up and away every time you use it. Also, program your poison control center’s number in your phone: 800.222.1222.

To learn more, visit UpandAway.org In partnership with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

Up and Away MNP 2012 Filler 12.indd 1

Knee-deep experience

3/27/12 4:54 PM

I

was about six when my dad’s father passed away. Grampa Schedin had been living with us toward the end of his life and it was only recently that my mom said something to the effect of, “I had two kids under the age of seven, a baby, a new puppy—and a father-in-law in my home, dying of cancer.”

Now that’s tough stuff. Honestly, I think my mother could write a better column about death and dying than I. She has said goodbye to a lot of people, including her father, taken far too early into her life, as well as two brothers. Death only seems to get more difficult to shoulder as the people we cherish leave us.

The only thing I remember about my grandfather’s funeral is that I was granted access to a ride in the hearse. I believe I was sitting next to my mother in that vehicle, and I began to get queasy. I tugged on my mother’s sleeve and told her I thought I was going to vomit. Something about the cramped quarters and the gas fumes (…is actually nothing new. I still get carsick on occasion). But anyway, I remember the look of dismay on her face.

Now I understand it had to be something akin to, “if I thought this day was terrible, now I realize, it’s about to get worse.”

Thankfully, I was able to keep my stomach in check and the processional rumbled on without further incident. But I always wondered—was I too young to be at that funeral? What about my even younger siblings? At what point is it beneficial to involve a child in the process of death, dying, and grief? How do we care for a child who is upset but can’t verbalize it well?

Thankfully, we have an article that will assist, should you also have questions such as this. After losing her father suddenly, writer Kelly Jo McDonnell also had to contend with her son’s demeanor as related to that loss. She also called on other parents and experts to get opinions, and I think it’s a very interesting read.

One of my co-workers stopped by my office a few weeks ago and said, “I have an idea for a story!” Then she proceeded to tell me about a close call her own father-in-law had, how unprepared she felt about the possibility of losing him, and how it would impact her children. Wow. Are we all on the same wavelength here? As Kelly mentions in her article, “nothing prepares you for this experience until you are knee-deep in it.” Hopefully, this feature will help a little bit.

Kathleen Stoehr, Editor

6 February 2013 Feld Entertainment MNP 0213 V4.indd 1

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Vol. 28, Issue 2 Co-Publishers Janis Hall jhall@mnpubs.com Terry Gahan tgahan@mnpubs.com General Manager Chris Damlo 612-436-4376 • cdamlo@mnpubs.com Editor Kathleen Stoehr kstoehr@mnpubs.com Contributing Writers/Photographers Dr. Peter Dehnel Julie Kendrick Shannon Keough Kelly Jo McDonnell Kara McGuire Nicole Navratil Joy Riggs Sean Toren Production Manager Dana Croatt dcroatt@mnpubs.com Senior Graphic Designer Valerie Moe Graphic Designer Amanda Wadeson Sales Manager Melissa Ungerman Levy 612-436-4382 • mungermanlevy@mnpubs.com Sales Administrator Kate Manson 612-436-5085 • kmanson@mnpubs.com Circulation Marlo Johnson 612-436-4388 • distribution@mnpubs.com Classified Advertising 612-825-9205 • sales@mnpubs.com Printing Brown Printing

52,500 copies of Minnesota Parent printed monthly, available at news stands statewide.

Get Minnesota Parent mailed to your home for just $12 a year. Call 612-825-9205 for more information.

Minnesota Parent (ISSN 0740 3437) is published monthly by Minnesota Premier Publications.

POSTMASTER send address changes to: MINNESOTA PARENT, 1115 Hennepin Avenue S. Minneapolis, MN 55403.

Minnesota Parent is copyright 2013 by Minnesota Premier Publications. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is prohibited.

Address all material to address above.

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In brief in the heart of the beast puppet and mask Theatre (HOBT) received a National

Endowment for the Arts grant of $25K to support new performance work. The HOBT presents programs for children and adults; h&m’s new location at Calhoun Square, 3001 Hennepin Ave. S., Minneapolis, will offer separate “store within store” sections for accessories, lingerie, sports apparel, and maternity clothing. It will also carry clothing for children, ages newborn to 14. Store hours will be Monday thru Saturday, 10:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m., and Sunday, noon to 6:00 p.m.; Tangletown crossfit at 46th and Nicollet in Minneapolis has launched a new workout program for kids ages 1st through 6th grade. The eight-week course, which began in January, provides workouts in agility—perhaps an obstacle course for kids to crawl and jump through—and new skills, such as the squat, deadlift or overhead press.

The idea came from trainer Julie Kenney, who once worked in a diabetes clinic and saw children developing Type II diabetes at an early age. She became certified to teach CrossFit Kids in two short months, in order to have the chance to teach healthy habits to children. For more information, call

The co-founder of Comedy Suitcase at Bryant-Lake Bowl, Minneapolis has launched a weekly podcast called “Pratfalls of Parenting.” In each podcast, Levi Weinhagen interviews artists and creative workers about “the relationship between being a maker of cool stuff and being a parent.” Weinhagen said the

612-432-1275; A new website and app, babycentralusa.com teaches parents how to prevent senseless childhood accidents. The app and website also offer zip code specific information on all of the children’s classes, activities, and medical resources in each particular area. The app sends out notifications on product recalls and Amber alerts the moment they are announced. There is also a digital house diagram showing how to childproof a home, along with many other tools to help keep babies safe and parents informed; Charity abbey’s hope announced its partnership with the u.s. consumer product safety commission’s (CPSC) Pool Safety campaign—the federal government’s public education and information campaign to promote pool and spa safety—will continue through the 2013 swim season. “Abbey’s Hope is proud to once again partner with the CPSC in its efforts to prevent a leading killer of our children,” said Katey Taylor, co-founder of Abbey’s Hope and mother to Abbey Taylor, who died of complications from injuries due to an improperly maintained pool drain. “Far too many children died this past year from drowning. The partnership will be re-doubling its efforts to protect children.”

As a partner of the campaign, Abbey’s Hope will continue to educate the public on one of the leading killers of young children: drowning and pool and spa entrapment. For more info on Abbey’s Hope, go to abbeyshope.org.; calvary’s three Early Childhood Centers, all located at Calvary Lutheran Church in Golden Valley, celebrated milestone anniversaries last month: one with 50 years in business, the other two with 30 years.

podcast was born out of conversations

minnesoTa parenT TesTed

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with other actor and artist parents.

They commiserated about juggling responsibilities, and agreed that children dramatically changed their world view. “I enjoy the conversation,” Weinhagen said. “I realized that my parenting has an impact on the kind of work I do.” Twenty-six interviews to date have netted plenty of entertaining insight. To find the podcast, visit pratfallsofparenting.com.

8 February 2013

Go, Okees!

We will be glued to our televisions on February 10, crossing our fingers for Minnesota-based musicians, Joe Mailander and Justin Lansing, also known as the Okee Dokee Brothers. They have been nominated for a Grammy award (Best Children’s Album of the Year) for their hit album, Can You Canoe? (See the

October 2011 issue of Minnesota Parent— we followed their progress up the Mississippi as they were putting their songs together!) We think their sound is the best reflection of the excellent work flowering in today’s family music scene and wish them the best of luck!

Morning sickness?

Ginger may help!

Thanks to a frenzy of hormones, many women have some sensation of nausea early in pregnancy (which may even be worse when expecting twins). Some women find that eating manages to “quiet” the stomach and in doing so gain a lot of weight early on in their pregnancy.

Others may feel averse to eating anything during the first few months.

“The simplest thing to try is ginger,” explains Hennepin County Medical Center’s Chief of OB/GYN Dr. Virginia Lupo. “Foods with ginger—ginger snaps, any kind of ginger candies, or even ginger ale may be helpful in keeping nausea at bay.”

Dr. Lupo also says that taking 25 milligrams of vitamin B6 four times a day may help. For the unfortunate moms who experience nausea that keeps no foods down and when dehydration is a threat, medications and IV therapy are needed.

“Rarely does sickness during pregnancy become this severe; however, occasionally women may even require home IV therapy, sometimes for a few weeks.”

Dr. Lupo says the good news is that almost always the nausea eventually subsides, and appetite returns.

“And most pregnant women are so hungry that they’re ready to take food off their own—and other peoples’—plates.”

February 2013 9

But I didn’t want to supplement. After all, isn’t formula to be avoided at all costs? Wouldn’t my milk supply disappear if I gave Lydia a bottle? Stressed out and feeling like a failure, I scheduled an appointment for the next day.

Shannon

Keough

Weigh in and out

Breast is best

“H

ow’s breastfeeding going?” asked the facilitator of my “new mom” class. Eight of us were sitting in a circle with our newborns. Clad in nursing covers to hide the evidence (except for me and one other mother), we were all attempting to breastfeed our babies.

“Breastfeeding challenges are one of the most common things new mothers face,” she said, urging us to ask questions. But no one said anything.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I barely thought twice about how I would feed her. “Of course I’m going to breastfeed,” I’d answer during my prenatal appointments. “That’s wonderful!” the nurses and midwives would exclaim, smiling approvingly.

Because, “breast is best,” right?

Everyone says so—the World Health Organization, Dr. Sears, even Mayor Bloomberg in New York City. It’s natural and it’s free (that is, as “free” as any around-theclock commitment can be).

“Breastfeeding is an unequalled way of providing ideal food for the healthy growth and development of infants; it is also an integral part of the reproductive process with important implications for the health of mothers,” says the official policy 10 February 2013

statement of the World Health Organization. So, how could I not breastfeed?

When Lydia was born we got right down to business. Despite her birth via c-section (some evidence suggests that breastfeeding can be more difficult following a c-section), I was optimistic.

After we got home from the hospital I continued to nurse my little girl. But our trips to the pediatrician indicated that she wasn’t gaining very much weight.

“Shouldn’t she be gaining more than that?” I asked the doctor.

“Oh, I don’t think there’s a problem,” she said. “Some babies just take longer to add the weight. She’s fine!”

I wasn’t so sure. I went back to my mom-and-baby class and shared my doubts. And on my instructor’s suggestion, I booked an appointment with a different pediatrician for a second opinion.

The new doctor was clearly concerned about Lydia’s weight gain, or lack thereof. She all but ordered me to visit a lactation consultant as soon as possible, and suggested that I consider supplementing Lydia with formula until I had my appointment.

The lactation consultant started by weighing Lydia, and then had me nurse her as usual. Afterward she weighed Lydia again to find out exactly how much milk she had taken in. It turned out it was something, but not quite enough.

So she introduced me to the supplemental nursing system (SNS)—a bottle attached to a tiny tube that you tape to your nipple so your baby can nurse from you quasi-normally. The idea is to do this instead of offering a bottle, so your baby’s sucking will encourage the production of more milk.

I went back every week for about two months, but it felt like a year. While at home, I followed a set schedule: I’d breastfeed Lydia “normally” every two to three hours, around the clock. Then I’d supplement with formula or breast milk using the SNS. After that, I’d use the industrial breast pump I’d rented from a hospital. All of this was meant to increase my milk supply.

But every week I’d go back and it was the same story—Lydia was never getting quite enough. I wanted desperately to “succeed,” however, so I kept at it, taping on the tube, strapping on the breast pump, cleaning all the accoutrements, taking herbs, and eating “lactation cookies.”

But it just never worked like it was supposed to. I was getting depressed and increasingly myopic. My fitness to be a mother seemed deeply connected to my ability—or lack thereof—to successfully feed my daughter. My husband could tell I was going nuts.

“You know, you’ve been breastfeeding Lydia for a long time—lots of women would have stopped by now,” he said. “She’s going to be fine if we switch her to formula…

maybe we should just give her a bottle?”

And so we did—and it was fine. I gave up, but it was okay. And actually, I didn’t really give up. I kept breastfeeding her in the months that followed, but when she needed a bit more milk we just gave her a few ounces in a bottle. I returned the pump, put the SNS back on the shelf, and gave away the herbs. It seems like the addition of supplements in a bottle— either breast milk or (usually) formula—is what caused Lydia to finally start gaining weight normally. I felt like such a failure when starting, because everything I heard/ read said that if I just kept breastfeeding with commitment, I would surely produce enough milk. In fact, that’s basically what the WHO guidelines state. But it never happened.

Lydia is normal now in terms of weight and height—and that’s the most important thing of all.

Learning begins at

birth.

ECFE works to strengthen families and encourages parents to provide the best possible environment for the healthy development of their children.

Shannon Keough lives in south Minneapolis with her husband, Nick, and daughter, Lydia. She can be reached at mnga@‌mnpubs.com.

Resources Kelly Mom Evidence-based information about breastfeeding and parenting. kellymom.com Fearless Formula Feeder Support and information for parents who use formula. fearlessformulafeeder.com Abbott Northwestern Infant Feeding Program tinyurl.com/c6fhgs5 612-863-4638 World Health Organization tinyurl.com/8f6das

Parent-Child Classes • Birth – 5 Years Old • www.ECFE.info

Dr. Sears Questions about pediatrics and more, answered on the site askdrsears.com Supplemental Nursing System Ideal for long-term supplemental feedings at the breast tinyurl.com/7q64vd5

Early Childhood Family Education This ad was made possible by the generosity of the Minnesota College Savings Plan.

For more information, please visit www.MN529today.com ECFE MNP NR2 2-3page.indd 1

12/17/122013 1:04 PM February 11

their 3:00 a.m. wakeful period.

The second factor—the learned pattern of falling asleep—is where parents can see some definite opportunities to improve sleep patterns. By four months of age, most babies will start to “learn” a pattern of falling asleep. Establishing a brief bedtime routine, allowing them to settle down and then putting them into their crib when they are almost asleep tends to work best. The important thing is that they actually fall asleep on their own in their crib. On the other hand, if they learn to fall asleep while you are holding them, they will likely need you to hold them to fall asleep again in the middle of the night. Having them learn to fall asleep on their own is one of the most important factors over which parents have some control.

Peter

Dehnel, MD

How do I monitor my child or teen’s online activity while still giving them some privacy?

Q

I am about to return to work and my three-month old infant is not yet sleeping through the night. What can I do?

Having an infant sleep through the night is a combination of two factors: your baby’s internal “clock” or sleep-wake cycle and a learned pattern of falling asleep.

The first factor you do not have much control over, but the second one you do.

All babies will have an “up-and-down” pattern through the night where they are at different levels of sleep. Deeper stages of sleep—including REM sleep and dream states—can be characterized by bodily movements, various vocalizations, 12 February 2013

and even crying. Your infant is not awake so it does not do any good to pick them up and try to comfort them because they are not really alert. Some babies do seem to naturally have a shorter sleep cycle: six to seven hours, before they are awake again for a short period of time. If they are put in their crib between 8:00 to 9:00 p.m. and they are awake at 3:00 a.m., you may find that it is helpful to put them to bed a little later or adjust the time that you go to bed to better accommodate

There is a range of opinions on this, but my personal recommendation is that you must do everything you can to protect your child or teen from accessing age-inappropriate content on the Internet.

It only takes a few clicks of the mouse to get to some very “adult-oriented” websites that can adversely affect your child’s emotional development. In addition, the Internet is a place where adults can pose as “buddies” or “friends” to children and young teens for predatory purposes. This is not a safe place for children to explore without “guardrails” or some sort of safety measures.

Some solutions include blocking access to certain content—these are the “parental control” features on your computer. Periodically checking the Internet history of the computer your child or teen is using will give you some idea if your child is headed into trouble.

Having them use the Internet only in a more public place in the house will help as well. Finally, if you start getting “pop-up” advertisements for adultoriented content on your computer,

chances are someone has been exploring related sites.

Above all, have periodic conversations with your child or teen about their use of the Internet and why they need to be extremely careful. Conveying a sense of trust in your child is always good, but it is also important to convey that keeping them safe is a very big part of being a loving parent.

I am expecting a new baby. Is there any reason why I can’t just give my baby formula from the start?

Breastfeeding is the best source of feeding for babies through the first 12 months of life. It not only serves as the best form of nutrition for babies, it is also best tolerated from a digestive standpoint and will also provide a number of immunity factors that will help your baby be healthier. In the short term, breastfed babies tend to have fewer ear infections. In the longer term, infants who are breastfed also tend to have fewer problems with obesity as children.

A combination of both breast and bottle feeding works well for many infants and can be started after the first few weeks of life. The main challenge with starting a lot of formula feeding too quickly is that it does not allow for your breast milk supply to get established and some infants will quickly transition to all bottle feeding. While formula feeding will generally do a good job of providing adequate calories and nutrition for your baby in these cases, your baby will not gain the additional benefits that come through breastfeeding for at least part of the time.

This column is intended to provide general information and guidance only and not specific medical advice. If you have specific questions about your child, please consult your health care professional. Dr. Peter Dehnel is a board certified pediatrician and medical director with Blue Cross Blue Shield of Minnesota.

Have a question for Dr. Dehnel? Email mnga@‌mnpubs.com.

February 2013 13

recip

e

Slow cooker steel-cut oats with maple syrup & bananas 1 cup steel cut oats 4½ cups water ½ teaspoon salt 3 tablespoons butter maple syrup bananas

1. Right before you go to bed, mix oats, water, salt, and butter in your slow cooker.

4. slice bananas and drizzle maple syrup over in an amount to your liking.

2. cook on low for six to eight hours and your kids will wake up to a cozy, filling breakfast.

Try other toppings like fresh and dried fruit, nuts, and honey! My other favorite at the moment is pineapple and coconut.

Serves about 4.

3. spoon the oatmeal into bowls.

minnesoTa parenT TesTed

Born Free’s tru-Clean Bottle sterilizing system This all-in-one design includes sterilizer, dishwasher basket, and drying rack to hold six baby bottles plus accessories. Visual countdown feature shows you where you are in the sterilization or cool down process. Cool to the touch, even during cycle, counters stay dry, and it’s BPA free, too. Yes, we could wash by hand or put bottles into the dishwasher, but with a 16-minute sterilization cycle plus four minute cool down, you can have your bottles ready in no time.

Some complaints include problems with doing back-to-back loads due to the plastic lid; a clumsy means of replacing used water; and that some bottles don’t fit the system. Hopefully subsequent iterations of the product will amend these issues.

About $90 on amazon.com.

14 February 2013

—Kathleen Stoehr

—Nicole Navratil

on-The-go snacks

Plum Kids Fruit straws Partner Plum Organics’ Fruit Straws with a drink, or eat them on their own. Either way, this organic fruit “straw” is USDAcertified organic and GMO-free, and has a third of a cup of fruit in each serving. No artificial ingredients or high fructose corn syrup and available in strawberry-vanilla or cherry flavors. This’ll get your kid to drink their milk—and then eat the straw!

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1/24/13 1:02 PM

About $3.99 for a five pack of individually-wrapped snacks with two straws in each pack. Available nationwide.

Chateau LeVeaux

Chia Bars Health Warrior Chia Bars make a great replacement to the high-sugar, emptycalorie-filled, non-nutrient providing candy that sometimes finds its way into your kids’ hands. With three flavors: chocolate peanut butter, coconut, and acai berry, we were surprised at how tasty the bars were. Best of all, Chia, a superfood, provides six times more calcium than whole milk, six times more protein than soy, 15 times more magnesium than broccoli does, twice the fiber than bran flakes, and nearly nine times the amount of omega-3s than found in salmon. All natural, vegan, and dairy and soy free.

About $1.89 per bar, available through Whole Foods.

—Kathleen Stoehr

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1/23/132013 2:21 PM February 15

Joy

Riggs

!

E G A U G N A L R U O WATCH Y

I

was inching the station wagon out of a parking lot and down a slight incline on an icy winter day when I realized I was in trouble. The car began to slide past the stop sign into the city street, and another car was headed in our direction from the left, certain to ram the driver’s side if my brakes didn’t engage quickly enough.

That’s when I uttered a loud, emphatic swear word. (I’ll give you a hint: it starts with an S, and it’s not “stupid.”)

Fortunately, the antilock brakes kicked in, the other car swerved slightly, and an accident was averted. My three kids, who

were about 6, 4 and 2 at the time, were safely strapped into their car seats and were uninjured, but the damage had been done. The incident was burned into their memories, and they continued to mention it for years. “Mama swore! Hey, remember the time that Mama said a bad word?!”

It’s a funny story, considering all the vulgarities my kids are exposed to now— not from me, but from being out in the world among other tweens, teens, and adults—but I think it illustrates an important point: whether your own language is as pure as the newly fallen snow or as salty as a Minnesota road in February, sooner or later, your kids are going to hear a “bad” word, and you’re going to need a strategy for dealing with it.

Take a stand as a parent and explain that swearing is inappropriate. Talk with them about how it makes them appear to others, especially older adults, and even their own peers.

Getting the message across

“

—Kathleen Olson

16 February 2013

Kathleen Olson, a retired family educator with the University of Minnesota Extension, says if parents haven’t already been talking to their kids about vulgar language by the time the kids reach the tween years, it’s certainly not too late. She recommends a conversational approach

rather than a lecture.

“Take a stand as a parent and explain that swearing is inappropriate. Talk with them about how it makes them appear to others, especially older adults, and even their own peers,” she says.

Olson says it’s a good idea to brainstorm with your kids about how they can get their message across without swearing. Are they swearing out of frustration, or out of anger? Help them expand their vocabulary and express those emotions in a more productive way.

“Explain that cursing doesn’t solve problems, it just adds to it. It can become a vicious cycle, and it does not impress most people,” she says.

Swear words can have negative effects besides simply being unpleasant to hear.

The act of swearing can make kids appear less intelligent and less mature, it can change how teachers, peers, and potential employers view them, and it can increase their feelings of hostility and anger. It also can escalate into a form of verbal abuse, bullying, and sexual harassment.

Sometimes tweens begin swearing

Jan. 18 thru eb. 17 Take a look at the world from a bug’s perspective. Some dream of being able to stand on their own two feet while others dream about superhero powers. This regional premiere musical, Diary of a Worm, a Spider and a Fly is sure to make us appreciate and respect these tiny creatures.

ResouRCes common sense media.org Five Ways to Talk to Your Kids about Swearing—and Why tinyurl.com/cn3p7wt university of minnesota extension Parent Education tinyurl.com/blwoyu3

because they pick it up from outside sources—through music, TV shows, or friends. If your kids’ friends are visiting and use words your kids aren’t allowed to use, Olson recommends being firm in explaining that your home is a swear-free zone.

“As kids get older, into their teen years, I think they are using it sometimes to show their independence, to try to shock their parents,” she says. “If you give too huge a reaction, and don’t find the time to talk calmly about the language, it’s working— they’re shocking their parents really well.”

Swearing doesn’t always come from outside sources, though. Some kids mimic words they hear from their own parents.

Olson says this can be trickier to address, especially if one parent swears and the other doesn’t. She says it’s best to be upfront with your kids, and say: “I, myself, as a parent need to work on this, too. We can call each other on it.”

Some families create a “swear jar,” and agree that every person in the house must contribute a certain amount, whether it’s a quarter or a dollar, when they break the rule. Then they spend the proceeds on a family activity, like going out for dinner together. Other families may take a more punitive approach for infractions, like taking away electronics for 24 hours.

Olson says it’s helpful to involve the tweens in setting up the consequences— often they’re harder on themselves than a parent would be.

We don’t have a family swear jar at my house because we’re all pretty mellow with our word choices. But now that my oldest daughter is driving, it could be a good idea; you just never know what kind of language the Minnesota weather might inspire.

For all ages

March 8 thru March 24 “When you go owling you don’t need words or warm or anything but hope.” Take a journey into a mystical, magical, winter wonderland where a father and child take a walk in the woods hoping to spot an owl and are surprised by what they find. This world premiere musical is a ballet-inspired story full of movement and dance.

for all ages

www.stagestheatre.org Box office: (952) 979-1111

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February 2013 17

r e l d d To Time!

Those toddlers are into everything! Here’s a few things to keep them on task.

By Kathleen Stoehr

Wear it No more itchy shirts, tags that rub, or bothersome seams! This clothing line is specifically designed for children suffering from tactile sensitivities. Sometimes the feel of regular clothing is bothersome for those with autism, eczema, skin allergies and more.

Teres kids offers supersoft clothes…we wish they were available in adult sizes, too!

Tereskids.com; prices vary depending upon garment

Tuck it Scoop it Learning to use a spoon can be tricky for toddlers. Béaba 360 spoon is designed for children learning to self-feed with an innovative rotating handle that ensures the spoon stays horizontal, preventing spills from occurring when the spoon is held incorrectly. Handle can be locked in place for older kids. BPA and phthalate free, too. scichild.com; about $10

Kalencom’s pacifier pod keeps pacifiers clean and accessible when not being used. The Velcro strap secures the pod to any diaper bag or stroller, allowing quick access when toddlers get cranky.

Available in a variety of patterns. kalencom.com; about $10

Extend it You might remember when we covered the Aqueduck Faucet extender— we thought it was great for bringing the outpouring water closer to the child.

Now, the Aqueduck Handle extender helps little ones reach the hot and cold knobs all by themselves (we suggest just the cold knob, for safety’s sake). Pull on the duck’s handle to get the water going. aqueduck.com; about $20

18 February 2013

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Contain it Keep tiny pieces contained! The Lay-n-Go play and activity mat allows kids to play while traveling, without lost pieces and on-the-road (or airport) drama. Its unique design makes cleaning up hassle-free all with the tug of a cord. It’s that simple. layngo.com; about $25

Tote it With potty training, we know consistency is key. Foldable and portable, Potette Plus is a clean potty for any child anytime anyplace. Lockable legs and a contoured seat keep the child comfortable and secure. Even better, the sturdy contraption folds flat into a drawstring carry bag so it can fit in a diaper bag. Plus, Potette Plus uses self-absorbing, leak-proof liners (sold separately) that can be disposed of like diapers.

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Kara

McGuire

Building your financial foundation

W

omen have a unique set of challenges when it comes to financial success, stemming from two facts: While stay-at-home-dads certainly aren’t a novelty anymore, women tend to do the bulk of the caregiving for relatives young and old, which reduces earnings. Not to mention women on average earn less than males do. Women also tend to live longer than men, amplifying the fear that their money will run out. Whether you’re working or staying home, doing what you can to take care of the five “Cs” will build a more solid foundation for your finances now and down the road.

Coverage Having proper life and disability coverage is key for breadwinners. Yet many 20 February 2013

families forget how important it is to insure against the devastating loss of the primary caregiver. You’ve seen the estimates for how much a mom should be paid, right? The latest measure is $112,962 according to Salary.com’s 2012 Mom Salary Survey. Sure, it’s a silly survey and plenty of caveats exist, but it drives home the point that every parent in the family needs insurance coverage, whether they bring home a paycheck or not. And it’s often far less costly than you’d think.

Cash on hand Many couples merge their bank accounts when they move in together or get married. It makes sense in many cases—shouldn’t your financial life mirror your personal life? But it also makes sense to have small accounts for

individual pursuits, whether it’s gear for a hobby, or to splurge on a monthly manicure. Having a small account that gives you the freedom and flexibility to spend money without permission is important and empowering.

Saving for the future is also critical, even if you are staying at home, or working less. It’s not easy, considering the cost of raising kids and college expenses that will arrive sooner than you think. But we’ve all seen the charts showing how much further your money goes if you invest early, thanks to the magic of compound interest. And since women live longer, having a sufficient nest egg is critical. If you have a job and your employer offers matching money in a 401(k) retirement plan, make sure you invest as much as needed to receive the full amount of free money. If you don’t receive matching money, you may want to consider a Roth IRA. Even if you don’t work, you can still invest for retirement using a so-called spousal IRA, even though you have no earned income.

Credit of your own Having a solid credit history and score is critical, even after you are married or partnered. There is no such thing as a joint credit report or score and you never know if down the road you’ll need to stand on your own financial feet.

Have credit in your own name. Period.

There was some concern that new credit card regulations were making it difficult, if not impossible, for stay-at-home spouses to build credit without the income-earning spouse applying jointly for the card. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has proposed a rule to revise the law.

If you have less than stellar credit, consider getting an unsecured credit card, making transactions and paying on time until you can qualify for a standard card.

If you’re not sure about the quality of

your credit, get a free credit report at annualcreditreport.com. You should do that at least annually, anyway.

Confidence You may not manage the household finances today, but chances are you’ll be in charge of the decision-making at some point in your life. Why wait until you absolutely have to manage your money before getting involved in both day-today money matters and investing? Odds are you’re better at investing than you think. Although both genders make plenty of mistakes when it comes to money management and investing, it’s been proven that women actually earn greater returns because they are more cautious than men and don’t trade frequently or take outsized risks. That’s just one reason why women should be more confident about money. Yet a recent survey from Prudential found twice as many women as men describe themselves as financial “beginners.”

Community There’s nothing more cathartic than commiserating about a complex and frustrating topic with a close friend. That’s why the money club concept is catching on. But for those of you who still feel money is a taboo topic not to be discussed in social circles, there’s the web to the rescue. There are numerous places to turn to for financial education and support, geared toward women. Citi’s Women and Co. website (citibank.com/womenandco) has been around for more than a decade.

Two more recent entrants, learnvest.com and dailyworth.com, both founded and run by women for women, provide financial advice, education, and camaraderie. There are plenty of female money mavens to follow on Facebook and Twitter. Many of them also have blogs.

Check out womensmoneyweek.com for a recent list of women money bloggers.

You can get there. We can help.

Visit www.MN529today.com or call 1-877-338-4646

Kara McGuire is a St. Paul financial writer and mom of three. Send questions or comments to kara@karamcguire.com.

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History teachers These real and fictional explorers and pioneers, those who saw or recorded or made history, are the focus this month.

By Kathleen Stoehr

Megan’s Year: An Irish Traveler’s Story A story about the life of people known as Irish Travelers, the book explores the freedom of Megan’s life on the open road to the cramped quarters wintering in Dublin, as well as the social and economic challenges unique to Megan’s culture. A glossary in the back of the book plus additional links online for details, photos, music, and history are also available. Suggested for ages 6 to 10.

By Gloria Whelan; illustrated by Beth Peck; Sleeping Bear Press; $16.95

Surviving the Hindenburg When the giant airship, Hindenburg, was destroyed by fire in 1937, one of the survivors was a 14-year-old cabin boy, Werner Franz. In this book, young readers will explore the inner workings and the devastating end of the giant airship through the eyes of Franz, one of two survivors still living. Captured in dramatic, detailed artwork, the story of the doomed flight comes alive for young readers, as well as aviation and history buffs of all ages. Suggested for ages 6 to 10.

They Stood Alone: 25 Men and Women Who Made a Difference Each person in They Stood Alone is introduced in an “Imagine This” scenario that places your child into a world unlike his or her own. For example, “Imagine this: You are a young Polish woman whose dream is to become a scientist, but in Poland women aren’t even allowed to go to universities. So, what do you do?” (Marie Curie) This is a book full of hope and a desire to give to the world versus take, offering children the courage to stand alone, hold onto dreams, and follow their hearts. Suggested for ages 9 and up. by sandra mcleod humphrey; prometheus books; $14

by larry verstraete; illustrated by david geister; sleeping bear press; $16.95

Rightfully Ours: How Women Won the Vote This captivating narrative will draw readers inside women’s fight for the right to cast their vote. Relating to engrossing stories of the courageous women who fought for suffrage from a time when many women weren’t even allowed to go to school, Rightfully Ours is beautifully illustrated with dramatic archival photos and includes a helpful timeline, online resources, and engaging activities. Suggested for ages 9 and up. by kerrie logan hollihan; ipg; $16.95

22 February 2013

A Book for Black-Eyed Susan Traveling on the Oregon Trail was not easy for pioneers. There were many physical hardships, but there were emotional hardships as well. When 10-year-old Cora and her family leave their home in Missouri, their hearts are filled with hopes and dreams. Never could Cora have imagined losing her mother, or being separated from her infant sister. And never did she expect that a book made of scraps from her mother’s sewing box would one day reunite her with her black-eyed sister.

Suggested for ages 6 to 10.

By Judy Young; illustrated by Doris Ettlinger; Sleeping Bear Press; $16.95

When Bob Met Woody When Bob Met Woody is a lyrical and gorgeously illustrated picture book biography that follows Bob as he renames himself after his favorite poet, Dylan Thomas, and leaves his iron mining town to pursue his love of music in New York City. There, he meets his folk music hero and future mentor, Woody Guthrie, changing his life forever, Suggested for ages 8 to 12.

By Gary Golio; illustrated by Marc Burckhardt; Little, Brown and Company; $17.99

February 2013 23

Sean

Toren

That’s right: I’m ‘Not-Mom’

I

’d like to give a shout out to the long-suffering ‘Not-Moms’ in the world. A fist raised in solidarity for the underappreciated second fiddles and third wheels!

Yes, almost anywhere the sun rises and sets (and sharp toys are stepped on by bare feet), there’s likely one adult in a family who’s considered the ‘go-to’ person.

The one who the kids go to first for hugs, sick stomachs, and for showing off their correct spelling of the word ‘patricide.’

This person representative of this group is often called ‘Mom’ (aka Mama, Mommy, Madre, or Mutter) and the group includes loving gay or straight adoptive parents, the lesbian partner who’s given birth, and the foster parent or grandparent, to name a few.

Then there’s us—the not so ‘go-to’ caregiver. The one who is ‘Not-Mom’ and who rudely gets pushed out of bed by the little one’s breast-feeding or co-sleeping, or nightmare about megalodons eating leoropleurodons.

Coasting along Perhaps this sounds familiar: I started out as one of two wheels in a happily careening, tandem bicycle, out for a jaunt on a sunny day. There was me, and there was Edna. We read Great American Novels (and talked about them!) and went to international film festivals (and talked 24 February January 2013 2013

about them!) and we actually did things together that didn’t involve cleaning the kitchen or driving to the store for kitchen cleaning supplies.

Then we got pregnant, or rather, Edna got pregnant. As the not-pregnant person, I got warnings about what being the ‘Not-Mom’ might be like, but the slowly growing, grumbling juggernaut of pregnancy kept me so busy with incidentals I didn’t realize what was actually bearing down on me.

So when Oedipus arrived (who I’ll refer to as Ed, Jr.), I got run over repeatedly until I learned to field strip and wash a

breast pump with my eyes closed and get lightning fast with a onesie. I even learned a bunch of baby signs to keep little Ed, Jr. copasetic (‘More’, ‘Water’, and (nice try) ‘I love Daddy’). In short, I became Mr. Taking-care-of-business.

But in terms of love from Ed it was mostly for naught; when little Ed reached out his too-short arms for a hug, they swung like sticky dowsing rods, straight for Mama. When Ed, Jr. brought home a crayon drawing of a megaladon devouring a bloody leopleurodon (my favorite predators!) it said, “tO mAmA fROm OEdIpus.” And when he needed a hug he would take his tiny elbows, sharp as cat teeth, and poke me out of the way to get to her. Need I mention that Edna was just as myopic about him?

The thing that kept me hanging on is that I was once a mama’s boy too, just like Ed, Jr., and I know that it all came out in the wash. But what’s a Not-Mom got to do to get through the first few years?

1) schadenfreude: It’s a big word for a tiny revenge. When Ed, Jr. was about two, I complained to a friend after a spate of Mom-omaniacal events. He smiled and asked, “When Ed’s feeling barfy in the middle of the night, who does he come for?” “Her,” I answered. “Exactly,” my

friend said, raising a glass of beer, “Think about how much she’s loving that as you roll over for more sleep.” And from that point on I did.

2) specialize: Around the age when Ed, Jr. said (and I quote) “When I think of Mama I think of chocolate pudding!” I asked him point-blank what his mother had that I didn’t. He was succinct: Breasts—and the soft cuddling goodness that comes with them. Me, I’m not so Mississippi Market MNP 0213 12.indd 1 1/15/13 Bethlehem 4:38 PM Lutheran Church MNP 0213 12.indd 1 huggable, so I decided to compete in other arenas. When he got hurt, I tried to always be first responder, using my hands come, See, And compAre the diFFerence to ‘vacuum’ the pain away. That’s also how I become Mr. Fun, Mr. Wrestler, Mr. Magician—and Mr. Pancake.

You may have different issues in your family, but the point is to not try to compete where you can’t compete, all while keeping a hand in the game so that when they finally break their MomBrooklyn Park omania and see other things in the world, Across from North Hennepin CC in you’ll be right there, smiling paternally Broadway Square Mall and ready for love.

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love. OK, I’ll admit it, I’ve been snubbed so many times I’ve withdrawn a bit on occasion. But after a particularly brutal snubbing I came to the realization that I’d just have to take what I wanted. I started a new tactic when he was heading for Mama of snatching him up, kissing him all over, and telling him how much I love him before letting him go. It’s hard for him to deny such adoration, even when he has another goal, and I’m slowly melting down his resistance.

But my final word of advice is to change up the paradigm. If you keep trying to be a third wheel on a bicycle built for two you’ll end up with scabbed knees and a bruised heart. But if you become the third wheel on a tricycle, you just might get to steer yourself (and the rest of your family) in a happy new direction.

Corcoran

Sean Toren loves living the full catastrophe in Minneapolis with his wife and son. He can be contacted at mnga@mnpubs.com with thoughts or suggestions.

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chinese new year: it’s the year of the snake

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superbowl sunday

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Phantastic Physics @ Wescott Library 2:00

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4 ———————— ———————— ———————— ———————— ———————— ———————— 12 abraham lincoln’s ———————— birthday ———————— ———————— ———————— ———————— ————————

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14 ———————— ———————— ———————— ———————— ———————— ———————— valentine’s day

7 laura ingalls ———————— Wilder’s birthday ———————— ———————— ———————— ———————— ————————

city of lakes loppet saturday–sunday

World’s Toughest rodeo friday–saturday

st. paul Winter carnival friday–sunday

lutsen family fun fest friday–sunday

FIRst WeeKenD Fun

free first saturday @ the Walker art center TC Kids Fieldhouse Fun Run groundhog day

2

Sat

15 16 ———————— Childish Films ———————— @ the Library 10:30 saturday live!

———————— snapdragon seeds 11:15 ———————— ———————— ————————

8 9 boy scout’s day ———————— ———————— Valentine’s Day ———————— Cards & Crafts @ St. Boni Library ———————— ———————— ————————

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February PuLL out AnD sAVe!

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StoryWalk @ Lake Phalen 2:00

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arty pants: your Tuesday playdate @ Walker art center

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18 president’s day ———————— ———————— ———————— ———————— ———————— ————————

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Out About Parent pick

Parent pick

City of the Lakes Loppet Events ÎÎThe City of Lakes Loppet is a cross-country ski festival featuring the beautiful trails and lakes of the Twin Cities. Whether you are a participant or a spectator, there’s tons to do and see for the whole family. Bring bells or noisemakers if you’re spectating—it’s hard to clap with mittens on! Watch skijoring, snow sculpture, ice cycling, and more. Download a spectator guide off the website for detailed info, too.

When: February 2 & 3 Where: Uptown Minneapolis Cost: Spectating is FREE; participation fees vary Info: loppet.org

Ongoing Winter Tracks Festival ÎÎCelebrate Minnesota’s most legendary season with Winter Tracks, a 10-day family-friendly festival from February 1 to 13, 2013 in Cook County featuring the Lutsen Mountains Family Fun Fest, Ridge Riders Snowmobile Fun Run and Easter Seals 10th annual Snowarama along with a Plein Air Painting Competition, snow sculptures, luminary lit ski trails, guided snowshoe tours, dog sled or horse-drawn sleigh rides, and live music.

When: Event times vary throughout the day and evenings, Feb. 1 to 13 Where: Cook County, MN (Lusten/ Tofte, Grand Marais, Grand Portage, Gunflint Trail) Cost: Varies Info: visitcookcounty.com/wintertracks

28 February 2013

Then Now Wow ÎÎDedicated entirely to Minnesota history, Then Now Wow is the largest exhibit ever created by the Minnesota History Center.

Designed primarily for children, visitors of all ages will enjoy exploring Minnesota’s distinctive places from the prairies and forests to the cities, along the way they’ll meet the people who have made their homes here.

When: Ongoing Where: Minnesota History Center Cost: $6–$11; FREE ages five and under Info: mnhs.org or 651-259-3000

Exotic Orchids ÎÎEscape winter in the warm greenhouse!

Search for orchids and other beauties in bloom. Bake orchid flavored cookies and discover the secrets of one of the largest families of flowering plants in the world.

Minnesota Parent Camp Fair ÎÎSpeak face-to-face with dozens of camp instructors at this vibrant and informative gathering of camp representatives from throughout Minnesota. Door prizes, interactive booths, and face painting, too!

When: 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m., Saturday, the 23rd Where: Como Park Zoo & Conservatory, St. Paul Cost: FREE Info: mnparent.com or 612-825-9205

Examine orchids up close with microscopes.

Create a detailed botanical illustration of your favorite flower to take home.

When: Saturdays and Sundays, noon to 4:00 p.m.

Where: Minnesota Landscape Arboretum, Chanhassen Cost: FREE for members/FREE with arboretum admission non-member Info: arboretum.umn.edu or 952-442-1400

Bye Bye Birdie ÎÎPublicity agent and songwriter Albert Peterson is in a pickle when his client, Elvis-like rock & roll star Conrad Birdie, is drafted into the Army. Albert’s sweetheart Rosie Alvarez comes up with a last-ditch national publicity scheme to save Albert and persuade him to give up the music business: Birdie will sing Albert’s new song

Out About live on “The Ed Sullivan Show,” where the heartthrob will also grant one last kiss to a teenage fan before going overseas.

When: Through March 30 Where: Chanhassen Dinner Theatres, Chanhassen Cost: $46 to $81, student discounts offered Info: chanhassentheatres.com or 952-934-1525

Pinocchio ÎÎFrom the moment Geppetto creates him from a stick of wood, Pinocchio dreams of being a real boy. But will the all-too-tempting delights of puppet shows and Playland be too much for Pinocchio?

When Geppetto is swallowed by a whale, it is up to this little puppet to show his courage and prove his love for his Papa is real. Greg Banks (A Wrinkle in Time, Romeo & Juliet) adapts and directs a new, fast-paced world premiere version of this classic tale, in which a cast of four incredible performers will bring this production to life. For grades K+ When: Through the 24th Where: Children’s Theatre Company, Minneapolis Cost: $10 to $56 Info: childrenstheatre.org or 612-874-0500

Diary of a Worm, a Spider and a Fly ÎÎTake a look at the world from a bug’s perspective. Some dream of being able to stand on their own two feet while others dream about superhero powers.

This regional premiere musical, Diary of a Worm, a Spider and a Fly is sure to make us appreciate and respect these tiny creatures. Appropriate for all ages When: Through the 17th Where: Stages Theatre Company, Hopkins Cost: $12 and up Info: stagestheatre.org or 952-979-1111

Dora and Diego—Let’s Explore! ÎÎThe exhibit features beloved characters Dora and Diego from Nickelodeon’s hit preschool series Dora the Explorer and Go, Diego, Go!, along with their friends Boots, Map, Backpack, Isa, Tico, and of

course Swiper, now in their own exhibit for your preschooler to explore as they learn and play along. Dora the Explorer follows the adventures of the seven-year-old Latina heroine Dora and her friends in an imaginative, tropical world. Go, Diego, Go! stars Dora’s eight-year-old cousin Diego, a bilingual animal rescuer who protects animals and their environment. The exhibit gives children and their families the opportunity to go into the worlds of Dora and Diego to engage in problem-solving and active play.

When: Through September 22 Where: Minnesota Children’s Museum, St. Paul Cost: $9.50 ages 1 to 101 Info: mcm.org or 651-225-6000

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The Biggest Little House in the Forest ÎÎWhen Bernice the Butterfly finds an abandoned house in the woods she sets out to make it her home. Soon she is joined by Millie the Mouse, Fred the Frog, Richie the Rabbit, and lovable Bartholomew the Bear. Everyone is welcome, and there’s always enough room for a new friend in this heartwarming tale, told by one amazing actor with delightful puppets. Toddlers+ When: Through March 17 Where: Children’s Theatre Company, Minneapolis Cost: Varies Info: childrenstheatre.org or 612-874-0500

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Preschool Playdate ÎÎEach Tuesday, the Science Museum offers preschool appropriate activities that will keep little hands busy and little minds buzzing. A Preschool Playdates ticket includes admission to the exhibit galleries, take-home science experiment, preschool perfect Science Live performances and science demonstrations, and various discounts.

When: 10:00 a.m. to noon Where: Science Museum of Minnesota, St. Paul Cost: Under five, FREE; $13 for adults Info: smm.org/playdates or 651-221-9444

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Out About Where: Midtown Global Market, Minneapolis Cost: FREE Info: midtownglobalmarket.org or 612-872-4041

HOBT Puppet Show ÎÎEvery Saturday, different artists perform engaging puppet shows—a great alternative to television! Families can also attend hands-on Make-n-Take puppet workshops based on that day’s puppet theme.

When: Shows at 10:00 a.m. and noon; Make-n-take at 11:00 a.m.

Where: Heart of the Beast theatre, Minneapolis Cost: Suggested donation for show between $2 and $4; Make-n-take admission $5/child, $3 adult Info: hobt.org or 612-721-2535

1 Friday World’s Toughest Rodeo

Ice Castles

Ice Castles

Wee Wednesdays

ÎÎLarge, explorable ice castles will encompass the North Parking Lot of the Mall of America, along with a children’s snow park area with a snow pile 40 feet in diameter and four feet tall.

ÎÎWee Wednesdays have plenty to see and do for toddlers and their families. Free, educational programming geared toward children five and under.

When: Through the 20th Where: Mall of America North Lot Cost: $5 ages 3 to 12; $10 ages 13 and up; family four pack $25 Info: mallofamerica.com/events/feature/ ice-castles

St. Paul Winter Carnival ÎÎThe nation’s oldest and largest winter festival. Events include parades, cultural celebrations and a giant snow slide.

When: Through the 3rd Where: Various areas throughout St. Paul Cost: Most events are FREE Info: winter-carnival.com or 651-223-4700

30 February 2013

When: Every Wednesday beginning at 10:30 a.m.

Where: Midtown Global Market, Minneapolis Cost: FREE Info: midtownglobalmarket.org or 612-872-4041

Family Night at the Global Market ÎÎFree live music, a children’s play area, and free balloons for the first 50 children.

Businesses will validate your parking (for up to three hours) with purchase if you park in the 10th Avenue parking ramp.

When: Every Friday from 5:00 to 8:00 p.m.

ÎÎFeatures champion cowboys from around the U.S. competing in bareback riding, saddle bronc riding, or bull riding, while the ladies will be vying for the championship title in barrel racing.

The top two in each event will return for a second time to go head-to-head to determine the night’s champion.

Before the rodeo each night, fans are invited to come early to meet some of the competing cowboys and the rodeo clown, and get autographs and photos.

The first 500 children (12 and under) Friday night will also receive a free cowboy hat.

When: 7:30 p.m.

Where: Xcel Energy Center, St. Paul Cost: Kids 12 and under start at $9.50; all others start at $17 and up Info: wtrodeo.com or 651-312-3486

Lutsen Family Fun Fest ÎÎStrap on the skis, kids, and get your parents off the bunny hill. You’ll enjoy family Olympic races, snowshoe tours, a bonfire and roasted marshmallows, fireworks and, of course: 92 huge runs on four magnificent mountains overlooking Lake Superior.

When: Beginning at 9:30 a.m.

Out About and through February 3 Where: Lutsen Mountains, Lutsen Cost: Lift ticket prices vary Info: visitcookcounty.com or 218-406-1320

2 Saturday City of the Lakes Loppet ÎÎA festival of cross country skiing including ski and bike races, skijoring, snow sculptures, and luminaries made of ice. Races begin at varying times throughout the day and evening both Saturday and Sunday.

When: All day, with Luminary Loppet start time at 6:00 p.m.

Where: Uptown Minneapolis and surrounding area including Theodore Wirth Park Cost: Spectators are FREE; registration fees apply to racers Info: loppet.org or 612-604-5330

Cook County Minne-Loppet ÎÎIn conjunction with the City of the Lakes Loppet, only this one is free.

Free event for kids ages 12 and under.

Everyone is a winner—all kids receive a medal, cookie and hot cider. The Minnesota Youth Ski League will provide ski equipment for use. Come early, supplies are limited. Packets for the event may be picked up on Friday night from 6:00 to 9:00 at the Loppet Registration Center in Calhoun Square. On Saturday, packets for this event must be picked up at the Lake of the Isles Lagoon registration tent starting at 1:00.

When: 3:30 p.m.

Where: Starts on Lagoon Ave.; ends at Hennepin/Lake in Minneapolis Cost: FREE for ages 12 and under Info: tinyurl.com/an53rj6 or 612-604-5330

Lutsen Family Fun Fest ÎÎSee description, Friday, February 1 When: Beginning at 9:30 a.m. and through February 3

Free First Saturday: Painter’s Paradise ÎÎA day inspired by the new exhibition, Painter Painter, featuring special guests, art-making, and kid-focused tours. Step into the studio and find out more about the creative art of painting during this day of free family fun.

When: 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. (family activities until 3:00) Where: Walker Art Center, Minneapolis Cost: FREE Info: walkerart.org or 612-375-7600

TC Kids Fieldhouse Fun Run ÎÎFun indoor races, TCM mascots, and medals and special participation gift for all runners. New this year: a pre-schooler/ parent lap for kids ages 4 and younger.

When: Registration at 8:00 a.m.; race at 9:00 a.m.

Where: University of Minnesota Fieldhouse, Minneapolis Cost: $16 per runner, limited scholarships available Info: tcmevents.org or 651-289-7700 Como Zoo MNP 0213 V6.indd

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1/11/13 3:30 PM

Free Family Flicks: Happy Feet ÎÎEnjoy a free movie. First-come, firstserved to theater capacity.

When: 10:00 a.m.

Where: Theatres at Mall of America, Bloomington Cost: FREE Info: theatresmoa.com

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That’s why I depend on NARI.

Saturday Live! Hunter Marionettes ÎÎAccompanied by music ranging from classical to lively dance tunes, each member of this cast of intricate, handcrafted marionettes entertains. In a typical performance, you’ll see a penguin try his luck on the flying trapeze.

When: 11:15 a.m. to noon Where: St. Paul Public Library, Central Library Cost: FREE Info: sppl.org/grade-school/visit/ saturday-live or 651-266-7034

Visit narimn.org or call 612-332-6274 to find a NARI-certified professional for your next remodeling project or to become a NARI member.

The NARI logo is a registered trademark of the National Association of the Remodeling Industry. ©2008 NARI of Minnesota.

February 2013 31 NARI MNP 2011 NR2 V6.indd 1

12/5/12 5:29 PM

Out About World’s Toughest Rodeo ÎÎSee description, Friday, February 1 When: 7:30 p.m.

3 Sunday City of the Lakes Loppet ÎÎSee description, Saturday, February 2 When: All day

Lutsen Family Fun Fest ÎÎSee description, Friday, February 1 When: Bweginning at 9:30 a.m. and through February 3

5 Tuesday Toddler Tuesdays: Chinese New Year ÎÎRing in the Year of the Snake and celebrate the Chinese New Year. Meet Kai-lan, too!

When: 10:00 a.m. to noon Where: Mall of America, Rotunda Cost: FREE Info: tinyurl.com/3vbfhly

9 Saturday Free Family Flicks: Journey to the Center of the Earth ÎÎEnjoy a free movie. First-come, first-served to theater capacity.

When: 10:00 a.m.

Where: Theatres at Mall of America, Bloomington Cost: FREE Info: theatresmoa.com

Saturday Live! Brodini Comedy Magic Show ÎÎScarves, coins, cards, balls, ropes, and ordinary items become animate objects of wonder and curiosity in Brodini’s hands, but never without some help from children and adults in the audience.

32 February 2013

When: 11:15 a.m. to noon Where: St. Paul Public Library, Central Library Cost: FREE Info: sppl.org/grade-school/visit/ saturday-live or 651-266-7034

Valentine’s Day Cards & Crafts ÎÎFor grades K through six. Work on three craft projects of your choice, one of which can be a Valentine’s Day card for someone you love.

When: 1:00 to 2:30 p.m.

Where: St. Bonifacius Library, 8624 Kennedy memorial Drive Cost: FREE, with registration Info: tinyurl.com/afksqs4 or 612-543-6100

10 Sunday Family Day at the MIA: Arty Party ÎÎCelebrate Mardi Gras and Carnival season at the MIA! Fashion a festive costume and wear your work of art around the museum. Or, get on your feet and dance to live music.

When: 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.

Where: Minneapolis Institute of Arts Cost: FREE Info: artsmia.org or 612-870-3000

11 Monday Phantastic Physics ÎÎFeel the force, the force of physics that is. Have fun with physics as we put Newton’s Laws of Motion to the test. We will send kids into a spin as they explore the conservation of momentum. See electrical physics at work, as we light up a pickle! Watch as we send 200,000 volts through a lucky volunteer. Experience Newton’s third law of motion as a fire extinguisher propels a mini-rocket car and one brave volunteer on a Phantastic ride!

When: 2:00 p.m.

Where: Wescott Library, Eagan Cost: FREE Info: 651-454-4318

12 Tuesday Arty Pants ÎÎArty Pants: Your Tuesday Playdate, features activities for adults and youngsters ages three to five. Art projects, films, gallery activities, and story time.

When: 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

Where: Walker Art Center, Minneapolis Cost: FREE with gallery admission; Walker members and kids ages 12 and under are always free.

Info: walkerart.org or 612-375-7600

Toddler Tuesdays: Okee Dokee Brothers ÎÎThe Grammy-nominated Okee Dokee Brothers will perform.

When: Performances at 10:00 and 11:00 a.m.

Where: Mall of America, The Patio Cost: FREE Info: tinyurl.com/3vbfhly

16 Saturday Childish Films @ the Library ÎÎThis month: Paper boat making and a screening of Paddle to the Sea. When: 10:30 a.m.

Where: Hennepin County Library, Minneapolis Central Cost: FREE Info: supporthclib.org or 612-543-8107

Free Family Flicks: The Zookeeper ÎÎEnjoy a free movie. First-come, firstserved to theater capacity.

When: 10:00 a.m.

Where: Theatres at Mall of America, Bloomington Cost: FREE Info: theatresmoa.com

Saturday Live!

Snapdragon Seeds ÎÎSnapdragon Seeds presents upbeat, fun, educational children’s music that teaches rhymes, patterns, movement and more! Great for all ages.

Out About When: 11:15 a.m. to noon Where: St. Paul Public Library, Central Library Cost: FREE Info: sppl.org/grade-school/visit/ saturday-live or 651-266-7034

17 Sunday Free 3rd Sundays at the Minnesota Children’s Museum ÎÎGrab the kids and roam the museum free of charge every third Sunday of each month.

When: 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.

Where: MN Children’s Museum, St. Paul Cost: FREE Info: mcm.org or 651-225-6000

StoryWalk ÎÎStoryWalks feature pages of books on display in parks, allowing participants to walk through the park and read a story at the same time. Pages from the children’s book Winter is the Warmest Season by Minnesota author Lauren Stringer will be on display along Saint Paul park paths.

When: 2:00 to 3:30 p.m.

Where: Lake Phalen, start at Phalen Drive pavilion Cost: FREE Info: sppl.org/grade-school/storywalk or 651-266-7000

19 Tuesday Toddler Tuesdays: The Very Hungry Caterpillar ÎÎStorytime, crafts and meet the Very Hungry Caterpillar from 10 to 10:30 and 11 to 11:30 a.m.

When: Performances at 10:00 and 11:00 a.m.

Where: Mall of America, Rotunda Cost: FREE Info: tinyurl.com/3vbfhly

23 Saturday Minnesota Parent Camp Fair ÎÎSpeak face-to-face with dozens of camp

instructors at this vibrant and informative gathering of camp representatives from throughout Minnesota. Door prizes, interactive booths, and face painting, too!

When: 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

Where: Como Park Zoo & Conservatory, St. Paul Cost: FREE Info: mnparent.com or 612-825-9205

Free Family Flicks: Madagascar 3 ÎÎEnjoy a free movie. First-come, firstserved to theater capacity.

When: 10:00 a.m.

Where: Theatres at Mall of America, Bloomington Cost: FREE Info: theatresmoa.com

Saturday Live! Wendy’s Wiggle, Jiggle and Jam ÎÎJoin Wendy as she entertains with her original songs. Every child will be encouraged to participate with movement, engaging props and fun upbeat music.

When: 11:15 a.m. to noon Where: St. Paul Public Library, Central Library Cost: FREE Info: sppl.org/grade-school/visit/ saturday-live or 651-266-7034

Tech Fest ÎÎHands-on science and engineering fun for families, celebrating National Engineers Week. Live demos and activities for kids.

When: 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.

Where: The Works, Bloomington Cost: $6 per person; under 3 are FREE Info: theworks.org or 952-888-4262

26 Tuesday Arty Pants ÎÎArty Pants: Your Tuesday Playdate, features activities for adults and youngsters ages three to five. Art projects, films, gallery activities, and story time.

When: 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

Where: Walker Art Center, Minneapolis Cost: FREE with gallery admission;

Walker members and kids ages 12 and under are always free.

Info: walkerart.org or 612-375-7600

Toddler Tuesdays: Madagascar 3 ÎÎA special screening, plus free popcorn!

When: Doors at 9:30 a.m.; the movie begins at 10:15 a.m.

Where: Mall of America, Theatres, Level 4, South Cost: FREE Info: tinyurl.com/3vbfhly

27 Wednesday Diary of Anne Frank ÎÎBe inspired by a girl whose imagination and hope would not be stifled by adversity. In this extraordinary account of eight Jews hiding in Nazi-occupied Amsterdam, Anne Frank emerges from history as a lyrical and intensely gifted young woman. Recommended for grades 7 and up.

When: 10:00 a.m.

Where: Park Square Theatre, St. Paul Cost: $14; one chaperone ticket free per 20 students Info: parksquaretheatre.org or 651-291-9196

28 Thursday Disney on Ice: Worlds of Fantasy ÎÎThis action-packed ice spectacular showcases beloved characters from Cars and Toy Story 3 along with Tinker Bell and the Little Mermaid. From wheels to waves, playtime to pixie dust, your family’s favorite Disney moments come to life with dazzling skating, special effects, and beloved characters.

When: 10:30 a.m. and 7:00 p.m.

Where: Target Center, Minneapolis Cost: $15 and up Info: ticketmaster.com or 800-745-3000

Diary of Anne Frank ÎÎSee description, Wednesday, February 27 When: 10:00 a.m.

February 2013 33

The summer before his death, Kelly McDonnell’s father enjoyed his annual fishing trip with grandson, Hayden. photo by Cy DoDs on

The grieving child

A

By Kelly Jo McDonnell

s I stood in the quiet Iowa cemetery, I watched my 10-year-old son, Hayden, flit around my father’s tombstone. My dad had suddenly and unexpectedly had an aortic aneurism and before we knew it, he was gone from our lives. My father was a larger-than-life personality, and while I wrestled with my own grief, I worried about the large void left for my son, who had been very close to him. The whole experience was so sudden and such a blur, I wondered if I had impacted his grief process being I was still trying to get a handle on my own.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Hayden catching the fireflies that had popped out during the twilight hours. He was cupping them to his mouth, whispering something, and then releasing them into the air. As I edged closer, curious, I overheard him saying, “protect Grandpa,” before releasing them. That bittersweet moment is etched into my memory, and for whatever reason, left me feeling a bit more peaceful. Perhaps Hayden was coping better

34 February 2013

than I had thought. Better than his mother, anyway.

Grief is a tricky emotion, for both adults and children. And let’s face it; nothing prepares you for this experience until you are knee-deep in it. But don’t make the mistake in thinking that kids don’t grasp the grieving process. Kids can grieve at any age; it depends on their age, developmental stage, and life experiences.

Cognitive abilities Inez Bersie-Mize, a licensed family therapist with Midwest Center in St. Paul, agrees that the child’s age is impactful.

“Their cognitive abilities, and the ability to understand and comprehend makes a big difference,” she explains. “Around seven and eight they still have that magical thinking, that the person could come back, or that ‘grandpa looks like he’s sleeping.’

It’s very common at that age to have this kind of thinking. Their capacity to tolerate pain, and whom they have around them also makes a difference. Their relationship to the person who died comes into play.

Kids are very tuned into their sense of pain, and if they think the person [who] died had a great deal of pain or trauma, then they’ll have a harder time getting over it than someone who died in their sleep.”

Come to think of it, some of Hayden’s first questions about his grandpa’s passing were pain-related. Questions such as “Did it hurt?” and, “Did grandpa know what was happening to his heart?” were asked.

Other kids, who have witnessed someone battle an illness, may ask different questions. When Molly Sproull lost her father to bone cancer, her son was in kindergarten and daughter was in third grade. “My father was in hospice, so we all knew it was coming,” Sproull remembers. “Ben got to say goodbye. He was on his best behavior [during the illness] because of what I was going through.

But after the funeral, that’s when he really started acting out.”

Sproull says the calls from his teacher started coming soon after the funeral; that Ben was throwing objects and reacting badly to other kids. “I look back, and I realize he was grieving,” says Sproull, “he was just not himself. I always tried to answer his questions [about his grandpa]

“

Americans are horrible at [contending with] death and dying. We don’t like to talk about it, we don’t plan for it, yet it’s the only thing that is absolutely sure.

—Christie Cuttell

without scaring him. It was hard. My daughter, Abby, had more tears. She understood a bit more, and I didn’t really see any negative reactions with her. She was more mothering to me, asking if I was OK. She recognized I was grieving, even as a third grader.”

Bersie-Mize says that’s the fine line that parents must walk while tending to their own grief. “It’s better to explain it than to hide it,” stresses Bersie-Mitze. “They need to know what’s happening, what the wake will look like, and have a choice to go or not to go. They need to be informed. A lot of kids fear crying, but when everyone else is, it helps them make that decision.

They need to be informed.”

Pronounced, genuine grieving Brent and Christie Cuttell, Cottage Grove, are advocates of being informed. Brent lost his father after an extended illness. The couple’s three children range in age from seven to teenage. “Kids grieve in a similar sense that we do, but it’s more pronounced.

Everything a child does is more pronounced...they are louder and faster than we are, and their minds are sharper,” says Brent Cuttell. “Our youngest son, Camden, was seven when his grandpa died. He’s a visual kid, so whenever he sees a red hat, like his grandpa Cuttell used to wear, he gets emotional. He’ll say ‘I miss grandpa,’ or ‘That guy in the red hat looks just like grandpa.’”

Christie Cuttell, a social worker at Psych Recovery, Inc. in St. Paul, says her knowledge of the grief business helped her cope with her own family’s journey.

“Americans are horrible at [contending with] death and dying,” she explains, “we don’t like to talk about it, we don’t plan for it, yet it’s the only thing that is absolutely sure. It’s very frustrating. …The more open we are with our kids and

February 2013 35

each other, the smoother it is going to go.”

She says youngest son Camden’s grief comes and goes in short waves and bursts, usually associated with visual triggers.

“At first he was very careful not to grieve in front of us,” remembers Christie. “He didn’t want to upset people more. But when he went back to school, the teacher gave him an assignment to write about feelings. Camden could only get through two sentences before he burst out crying.

I do think kids generally grieve better than adults. They are not at all selfish. They are genuine, and to them, it’s very literal.”

The Cuttells say their older teens took on different grieving patterns. “Myles, being the boy, was more non-verbal,” remembers Christie, “but his actions were kinder. He was not causing trouble, and would let things go that he usually wouldn’t. He was just quieter. Our daughter just cried her brains out, night and day. The teenaged kids had a very different connection with grandpa, as they are so much older than Camden.

ResouRCes Here are a few books that help children cope with grief.

The fall of freddie the leaf: a story of life for all ages Freddie and his companion leaves change with the passing seasons, finally falling to the ground with winter’s snow, is an inspiring allegory illustrating the delicate balance between life and death.

By Leo Buscaglia, PhD The next place An inspirational journey of light and hope to a place where earthly hurts are left behind.

By Warren Hanson old coyote Old Coyote’s muzzle is turning white, and his steps are slow. He spends most of his time basking in the sun and remembering.

Chasing rabbits, raising pups with Mrs. Coyote, gathering with his friends on the mountain and howling at the moon—it’s been a long, full life, and he’s grateful for it. But could it be time for him to take one last journey?

By Nancy Wood papa’s new home Papa’s New Home is the story of three-year-old Jessie. Her grandfather (Papa) whom she is very close to is taken to the hospital and does not return home. Instead, he goes to live at his “new home” in heaven.

By Jessica Lynn Curtis

36 February 2013

They saw grandpa healthy, and he wasn’t sick in their memories.”

Conversations with kids “Some of it is really just talking with them,” explains Bersie-Mize, “it really is.

It’s OK that it hurts or that it’s scary. It’s OK to say those things to kids. The more they are involved in the planning, the better. It’s important not to exclude them from your own grief. Explain how you feel inside, so they don’t feel alone or isolated.”

Through the whole process, watch for warning signs of something deeper than “healthy” grief. “Watch how long they are staying in grief,” explains Bersie-Mize, “and if they are functioning in school and with friends. Are they isolating, or getting angry?

Things like that should not be ignored, and sometimes professional support is needed.”

Other behaviors to watch include inability to sleep, loss of appetite, acting much “younger” for an extended period, repeated statements regarding wanting to join the dead person, or excessively imitating the deceased family member.

She explains that it wasn’t until about the 1950s and on that children were included at all in the entire grieving process; they were kept very separated from the ordeal.

“Including them in the process, perhaps picking out flowers, or writing poems to put in the casket, are all closure activities. Talk about how sad it feels, and the hurt inside.

Let them see the tears.”

With my family, we included all of the grandsons as much as we could in the planning, and communicated what would be going on during the wake and the funeral itself. Hayden had the choice of viewing the open casket. He sat in the back of the church in the last pew for a short time before making up his mind and marching up the aisle resolutely next to me. We also let each of the grandsons choose a “Grandpa treasure” from his dresser, which they kept in their pockets during the funeral. I noticed Hayden rubbing his Grandpa’s favorite pocketknife throughout the funeral.

After our visit to the cemetery that day, Hayden asked if my father had known we were there visiting him, or if he was too busy up in heaven. I guess only the fireflies and my dad really know the answer to that question.

H C e t H G I H F e I H MIsC rick

By Julie Kend

New “impersonator” technology can hoodwink parents

You receive a text from the mother of your daughter’s friend, asking if she can sleep over at her family’s house that night.

You come home from work one day to find a message on your home answering message, from a man who sounds like your son’s physics teacher, requesting that the boy stay after school next week for extra help.

You check your kids’ cell phone and notice a significant number of calls to “Dad’s house.”

If you would accept these communications at face value, it’s time, dear tech-age parent, to think again. While the examples shown above might honestly be messages from the friend’s mom and physics teacher, or calls to Dad’s house, they might also something much less innocent.

Here are some other, more chilling, scenarios: Your children could be accessing a “send a text” site to enter the sleepover request with the friend’s mom’s phone number in the “from” field. Or your more sophisticated kid might

February 2013 37

Staying one step ahead • Know your children’s friends and meet their parents • Monitor children’s internet and cell phone activity • A child who refuses to Facebook “friend” important adults (parents, friends of family, grandma, and grandpa) should not be allowed to have a Facebook page • It may seem old-fashioned, but pick up the phone and talk to parents to make sure an adult will be supervising at kids’ get-togethers • Try to stay current on what’s happening, and talk with other parents about what you learn • Access your child’s cell phone account online and review the text and phone numbers coming and going. Some phone plans (such as Verizon Wireless) allow you to assign names or codes to each number, for ease in recognition.

This can be different than how the number might be named on your child’s phone.

38 February 2013

have found a “prank call” website that allows users to have their speech recorded and “filtered” to sound like their choice of adults, down to gender and accent. So that message from the elderly Asian teacher may just be your 13-year-old in disguise, figuring out a way to arrange some supervision-free after school time.

And if your child suspects you of cell phone snooping, it’s easy enough to change contact names to headers like “Tutor” and “Dad’s house,” when the numbers are really those of people you’ve told your child to avoid.

Yes, you have to get on Facebook To avoid these scenarios, or ones like them, it’s important to emphasize good, old-fashioned communication. “You need to go online with your kids and participate with them in the online culture.

Patchin Talk with them regularly about sites they like and don’t

like. Bring up discussions about online integrity, and about making good choices in the virtual world just as much as in the real one,” says Justin Patchin, Ph.D, co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center. Patchin’s most recent book, written with co-director Sameer Hinduja, Ph.D, is School Climate 2.0: Preventing Cyberbullying and Sexting One Classroom at a Time. At speaking engagements all over the country, he tells parents that the days of saying, “I don’t do Facebook” should be over, since it’s just not something a parent can ignore.

But opening a Facebook account is just the beginning. It’s important to keep up-to-date with the latest trends, too, Patchin says. “The more adults are heading onto Facebook, the more kids are abandoning it for places like Tumblr and Twitter.” (And yes, you need to get set up on those sites if your kids are using them.)

Pulling the pixels over mom’s eyes For Tammy Burns Woodhouse, a Southwest Minneapolis resident, it was a casual glance at the family computer that

Family cyber safety sites Subscribe to updates from these sites to stay up-to-date on the latest trends cyberbullying.us connectsafely.org netfamilynews.org

provided her with the disappointing news—after being forbidden to do so, her 11-year-old son had joined a social network site. A few more clicks led her to the realization that he’d set up a secret Gmail account to get on the site. Once her son had been punished (bye-bye iPod), she turned her attention to his friend, who had been in on the scheme. “Luckily, our group of parents have a mutual policing agreement, so my husband approached them during hockey practice, asked about social media rules in their household, and then told them what their son and ours had been up to.”

As a result of the incident, the family has reinforced the importance of real interaction with live people, not mindless banter online. “He discovered that those online ‘conversations’ were really not worth making Mom and Dad that mad,” she says, adding, “Once I got over the initial combination of rage, disappointment, and fright, it reinforced some key things for me. We have a shared family computer in a public space, frequently check the browsing history, and compare notes with other parents.”

The night we lied to the babysitter Leah Samler was finishing her doctorate in clinical psychology when she took a job with a high-end nanny service to help with tuition costs. Her elite customers, who lived in some of the biggest mansions in the city, paid her very well for supervising their children while they headed off to galas, charity functions, and front-row seats at the hottest shows in town.

Observing all that privilege, Samler found that the number of toys (physical and virtual) in these households was staggering.

She also discovered that her well-bred charges were some of the tech-savviest— and sneakiest—kids she’d ever encountered.

She recalls, “One night, a 10-year-old had a group of friends visiting when I arrived. The

Mom was very clear that everyone had to leave early, and the girl had to be in bed by ten. ‘She has an important tennis match tomorrow,’ the Mom said.”

Got it. Or maybe not. Around nine p.m., the girls approached Samler and pleaded to be allowed to sleep over. “‘Your Mom said no,’” I told the girl, and then she asked, ‘If I get my Mom to change her mind and say it’s okay, will you let us?’

Within minutes, my cell phone was buzzing with a text from the Mom’s number, which said: ‘I changed my mind.

Let girls sleep over.’ When the woman got home at 11:30 and saw that the kids were still up, she was angry. ‘I told you she had to go to bed early,’ she said. I showed her the text I’d received, but she said she’d never sent it. We just stood there looking at each other, completely confused.”

Finally, they decided to round up the girls and grill them. The one with a techie older brother quickly confessed that her sib had showed her how to go online and send a text to any number (Samler’s, in this case), from any number the site user specifies (the Mom’s). They had sent a fake text to their sitter, and she had fallen for it.

Samler, who is now a degreed psychologist specializing in adolescent issues, admits that she was punked. “When I saw the Mom’s telephone number on the text, I believed it was from her. Since that incident, I’m much more mistrustful of anything other than face-to-face communication.” She now works as a therapist at Allendale Association in the Chicago suburbs, and the incident was a catalyst for understanding that kids today have an arsenal of high-tech trickery at their fingertips.

“My clients have the technical savvy to communicate in ways that do not even cross the minds of their often less technically inclined caregivers. Kids can get away with much more than in years past,” she says, adding, “Information delivered via smartphone or computer should not be taken at face value. It is normal developmental behavior for children to see what they can get away with and try to exert some power and control. Technology, however, adds another layer of intricacy and complexity that must be actively monitored.”

February 2013 39

advertiser listings

camp resources

Academic Bell Museum Science Discovery Day Camps From mammals to invertebrates, outer space and the environment, the Bell Museum's weeklong Science Discovery Day Camps engage children in science through authentic objects and unforgettable learning experiences. Camps run from June 10-August 30 for grades K-6.

Minneapolis 612-624-9050 bellmuseum.org

Camp Invention Camp Invention inspires creativity and inventive thinking during its weeklong summer exploration into science, technology, engineering, and mathematics!

Led by local educators, elementary school children are immersed into fun-filled, exciting, hands-on activities. Throughout the week, children work together to solve real-world challenges that prepare them for the 21st century. Whether they are creating a Duck Chucking Device or learning about games played around the globe, participants learn new approaches to everyday problems!

Discounts are available – register today! campinvention.org

40 February 2013

ICC Summer Engineering Camp Explore the world of engineering through hands-on project work, industry tours, and team design challenges; live and work at Wenger Engineering Center, Itasca Community College, Grand Rapids, MN. Sr. High Camp: grades 10-12; July 8-13 Jr. High Camp: grades 7-9; July 17-20 Itasca Community College Grand Rapids 218-322-2370 engineering.itascacc.edu

Junior Achievement Summer Camp Campers will learn how to run a successful business through a variety of fun, interactive activities. Held at JA’s unique kid-sized city, this camp is the ultimate real-world simulation. The June session focuses on STEM careers; the July session will appeal to the budding entrepreneur.

Junior Achievement of the Upper Midwest 1800 White Bear Ave N Maplewood 651-255-0037 jaum.org

camp resource guide

Arts adventures in cardboard summer arts & creative play, outdoors Summer arts workshops during the day, play-focused, and all outdoors! Construct a 50’ cardboard castle, build a suit of armor, make a lifesize paper rowboat, design a faerie house, get lost in a colossal maze.

Unique, inspired and theatrical!

Powderhorn Park, Minneapolis Bryant Lake Regional Park, Eden Prairie Saint Catherine University, St. Paul 612-532-6764 julianmcfaul.com

art academy, The

This is one summer adventure you’ll never forget!

Summer Programs now enrolling. student.services@vobs.org (828) 239-2376 www.vobs.org

Outward Bound MNP 0213 12.indd 1

City Pages Winner: Best of the Twin Cities! Year-round traditional drawing and painting classes and camps for students ages 5-18. Exceptional student/teacher ratio. Homeschool Program. A Renaissance Program for adults also offered. See samples of student artwork; visit our website. Call for a brochure.

Classes held at: Holy Spirit Elementary 515 S Albert St St. Paul 651-699-1573 theartacademy.net

mcad summer kids classes The Minneapolis College of Art and Design’s Summer Youth Program offers exciting classes and weeklong camps on art and design topics for kids ages 5-18. Nurture your child’s creativity through these handson studio classes led by professional artists.

2501 Stevens Ave Minneapolis 612-874-3765 mcad.edu/youth

camp resource guide

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Como’s

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Sat, Feb 23, 2013 10am-2pm

at Como park Zoo & Conservatory

Speak face to face with dozens of camp instructors

minnetonka center for the arts summer arts camp Art fundamentals taught in fun, ageappropriate activities in ceramics, drawing, painting, fiber, and sculpture (per age group). Ages 7-17 enjoy full days. Half days for ages 5-6. Day care available next door at Creative Kids Academy. Registration opens February 15.

2240 N Shore Dr Wayzata 952-473-7361, x16 minnetonkaarts.org

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February 2013 41

Camp Resources Minnesota Parent’s Camp Fair February 23, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Summer’s here! Or, at least it will be when you attend Minnesota Parent’s 7th annual Camp Fair. Get a jumpstart on planning for day or overnight summer camps, be it music, art, technology, sports, and everything in between.

Como Park Zoo & Conservatory 1225 Eastbrook Dr St. Paul 612-825-9205 mnparent.com/calendar/camp-fair

Dance/Music/ Performance Center for Irish Music, The All ages and abilities will explore and grow musically within the context of the Irish tradition. CIM offers creative and active introductory and intermediate camps on whistle, song, fiddle, harp, and drumming as well as mythology, travel-themed, and performance camps.

836 Prior Ave N St. Paul 651-815-0083 centerforirishmusic.org

Circus Juventas Travel the globe without ever leaving our Big Top! Our full-day, weeklong camps explore a vast array of circus arts from Morocco to Mongolia, China to Russia.

Reserve your spot now for the most talked about unique camps anywhere!

1270 Montreal Ave St. Paul 651-699-8229 circusjuventas.org

Lundstrum Center for the Performing Arts Become a triple threat at Lundstrum Center’s musical theatre Camps! All camp intensives taught by Broadway veterans and include level appropriate training in dance, voice, and drama, which students apply to full musical productions. June 10-21: The Magic Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, ages 4-12; June 24-July 28: Hello Dolly, ages 13+ 1617 N 2nd St Minneapolis 612-521-2600 lundstrumcenter.org

42 February 2013

Vertical Endeavors MNP 0213 V3.indd 1

1/22/13 12:09 PM

Sing Minnesota August 5-9, 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Sing Minnesota is a weeklong day camp for girls and boys, ages 8-12 sponsored by the Minnesota Boychoir. While focusing on choral singing, campers also participate in other creative arts – drama and movement, visual arts, and outdoor fun and games! $300, scholarships available.

Concordia University Buetow Music Center 300 Hamline Ave N St. Paul 651-292-3219 boychoir.org

SteppingStone Theatre School for Young Actors This spring and summer youth ages 3.5-17 will spark their creativity at SteppingStone Theatre. Young actors tap into their potential in unique ways--building confidence and acting skills while having tons of fun! Scholarships/early-bird pricing available.

55 Victoria St N St. Paul 651-225-9265 steppingstonetheatre.org

Triple Threat Training Ordway’s Professional Musical Theater Intensive This one-week intensive in musical theater connects young people with experienced instructors to hone their vocal, acting, and dance technique, as well as enhance their audition skills! Audition required for admission. Auditions February-March, 2013. Camp July 22-26, 2013 for ages 13-18.

Ordway Center for the Performing Arts: 345 Washington St, St. Paul Roy Wilkins Studios: 175 Kellogg Blvd W, St. Paul 651-282-3115 ordway.org/education/triplethreat

Youth Performance Co. YPC offers summer classes giving a full range of theater skills taught by resident professionals. For both musical theater geeks and those seeking confidence. All camp sessions are weeklong over the entire summer; some half-day offerings and others full day. Choices for K-12 from fairy tales to Broadway hits.

3338 University Ave SE Minneapolis 612-623-9180 youthperformanceco.org/classes

camp resource guide

Art Camp

Day animal humane society’s unleashed camp An animal-themed summer day camp at Animal Humane Society for students entering grades 3-10. Camp includes animal-related educational activities, animal interactions, special guests, field trips, and more. Registration begins February 15, 2013.

Buffalo, Coon Rapids, Golden Valley, St. Paul, Woodbury 763-489-2220 animalhumanesociety.org/camps

™

playworks summer camp 2013 …Come Explore With Us! June 10-August 30. Entering grades 1-6. Children explore Radio Disney MNP 0112 V6.indd their world through field trips to zoos, museums, beaches, parks, more. Plus arts & crafts, science, play time with friends. Enroll

by March 29th and $65 registration fee is waived. FT or PT. Daily. Meals included.

2200 Trail of Dreams Prior Lake 952-496-6811 playworksfun.com

Lessons * Horse Camp * Birthday Parties1/17/13 Public Trail Riding by Appointment

1

12/12/11 11:13 Kidcreate AM Studio MNP 0213 V6.indd 1

Horsemanship Summer Camp 651-226-2027

Not just on for the ride — learn all the basics about horses. (Ages 6-13)

yWca camp in the city A full day, full-time summer option exploring what the city has to offer.

Weekly field trips, cultural events, swimming lessons, and classes in sports or dance offer everyone the chance try new things while developing friendships and fitness.

YWCA Downtown: 1130 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis YWCA Midtown: 2121 E Lake St Minneapolis YWCA Abbott Children’s Center: 800 E 28th St, #15103 Minneapolis 612-215-4155 ywcampls.org

camp resource guide

11:25 AM

weeks available:

June 17, 24 • July 8, 15, 22, 29 • Aug 5, 12, 19 M-F 10am – 3pm sunnyside stables, inc.

Rosemount, Minnesota • sunnysidestables.org

Sunnyside Stables MNP 0213 H6.indd 1

Stagecoach Theatre MNP 0113 H6.indd 1

1/23/13 10:40 AM

12/14/12 11:55 AM

February 2013 43

Horseback Riding Bunker Park Stable Horseback riding day camps for ages 5 & older. Individualized attention and structured lessons in Western and English riding. We have a professional, patient, and caring staff, as well as safe horses in a clean, modern facility. We are dedicated to giving your child a safe and enjoyable riding experience at an affordable price. Family owned!

550 Bunker Lake Blvd Andover 763-757-9445 bunkerparkstable.com

Lost Creek Ranch Camp Confidence The best overnight horse camp for horse crazy kids! Each camper gets their "own" horse to care for and ride-a minimum of four hours daily! Limited enrollment means every camper gets lots of individual attention. We offer an experience that our campers never forget, new friendships, and the beginning of a lifelong passion for horses.

N6842 570th St Beldenville, WI 715-273-6070 lostcreekranch.info

Sunnyside Stables Horsemanship Summer Camp Sunnyside’s camp is a place to discover horses and new friends. Each day includes riding--rain or shine, as we have an indoor and outdoor arena as well as scenic trails.

You will discover the basics of grooming, saddling, body language, posture, contact, and balance to develop independent riding skills.

15400 Emery Ave E, Rosemount 651-226-2027 sunnysidestables.org

Other Minnesota Children’s Museum At Minnesota Children’s Museum, hands-on play builds lifelong learning. Each of our seven galleries is uniquely designed with a child’s busy brain in mind. Every visit is packed with experiences guaranteed to nurture problem solving, fuel fun, and cater to the curious at heart.

10 W Seventh St Downtown St. Paul 651-225-6000 mcm.org

46 February 2013

Visitation School Visitation’s Summer Solution offers a variety of fun summer options, including athletic activities, visual and performing arts, science experiments, and academic enrichment opportunities for children in grades pre-K-12. Visit visitation.net/ summer for more information.

651-683-1700 visitation.net/summer

Overnight Camp Birchwood At Camp Birchwood the experience is about life-long skills, friendships, and memories that develop at camp. We provide campers with opportunities for making their own choices, encourage them to challenge themselves and to discover who they are through a long list of available activities.

Northern Minnesota 800-451-5270 218-388-4402 Girls Camp: campbirchwood.com Boys Camp: birchwoodforboys.com

Specialty Voyageur Outward Bound School Voyageur Outward Bound School inspires students to go beyond their comfort zone while giving them tools to surpass their perceived limitations. We offer wilderness courses that help students achieve more than they ever thought possible.

Ely & St. Paul 651-292-1062 outwardbound.org

Sports and Fitness Academy of Holy Angels Summer Experience Summer Experience offers over 40 oneweek camp offerings in June ranging from sports to art. Camps last 2-4 hours per day so that participants may do two camps in a week. Costs range from $40-$90 for a weeklong camp.

6600 Nicollet Ave S Richfield 612-798-2621 academyofholyangels.org

camp resource guide

Gleason’s Gymnastic School What better way to spend Summer than learning something new at Gleason’s Gymnastic School? Our fun facility & our professional instructors combine to make Gleason’s classes a tremendous learning experience for children of all ages and experience levels.

2015 Silver Bell Rd Eagan 9775 85th Ave N, Ste 500 Maple Grove 651-454-6203 gleasons.com

Lil Sluggers Twin Cities Lil Sluggers is a child development program that introduces children ages 2-6 to the game of baseball by developing skills such as throwing, catching, hitting, and base running. Lil Sluggers teaches the game of baseball in a fun and positive environment.

Outdoor locations to be announced.

43 Hoops: 1002 2nd St NE, Hopkins Strike 3 Pitching: 200 W 88th St #9, Bloomington 612-360-5818 lilsluggerstwincities.com

Little Gym of Edina, The Anytime Summertime Camp For kids ages 3-12. The most flexible camp in town lets you pick one day or as many as you want! Each week has a fun new theme with games, art, physical activity, and a whole lot of fun.

8223 Hwy 7, St. Louis Park 952-924-0083 thelittlegym.com/edinamn

Revolutionary Sports Combines learning sports, child development, and having fun for a complete positive, sports experience.

Sports include: archery, baseball, basketball, dodgeball, flag football, floor hockey, lacrosse, golf, soccer, softball, tennis, track & fitness, volleyball, and more. Half-day, full-day, early drop-off, late pick-up. Camps during spring break, no-school days, weekends, evenings, and summer.

Metrowide Locations 612-234-7782 revolutionarysports.org

Richfield Gymnastics Club Summer Day Camps Richfield Gymnastics Club offers summer day camps, Monday through Thursday

mornings, throughout August. Fun, fitnessbuilding, themed activities and gymnastics instruction. Camps are open to girls and boys, ages 5+ of all ability levels. Packages start at $70 per week.

Richfield High School Gymnasium Entrance 7001 Harriet Ave S Richfield 612-798-6386 richfieldgymnasticsclub.org

Vertical Endeavors Indoor Rock Climbing Summer Camps Vertical Endeavors’ summer camp program provides a fun-filled experience for campers ages 6-17! Your child will have the opportunity to learn proper climbing techniques and they’ll leave camp with a sense of self-reliance and accomplishment.

VE St. Paul: 855 Phalen Blvd 651-776-1430 VE Minneapolis: 2540 Nicollet Ave S 612-436-1470 VE Duluth: 329 S Lake Ave 218-279-9980 verticalendeavors.com

For Youth deVeloPMent® For heAlthY liVing For soCiAl resPonsiBilitY

YMCA rAllY dAYs FridAY, MArCh 1 – sundAY, MArCh 3 suMMer ProgrAMs registrAtion

get sPeCiAl deAls $50 oFF $40 oFF $15 oFF

(no registration fee) on Summer Power and Summer Uproar per session on Overnight and Teen Wilderness Camps Day Camp, Summer Sports and Extreme Sessions

leArn More At the suMMer ProgrAMs FAir 13-SP01

sAturdAY, MArCh 2, 9 A.M. – noon

Meet staff and talk to the experts See videos of summer programs in action Free beach ball and fun activities for the kids! register online ymcadiscoversummer.org or at your Y

camp resource guide

February 2013 47

Maple Tree Cottage

— 23 years of excellence —

Home-Based Preschool • Waldorf-Inspired Program • Trained, Licensed Teacher • Mornings with Lunch Option • Organic Whole Foods Snacks South Mpls. location

Nannies from the Heartland

763-550-0219 nanniesheartland.com

(612)724.8957

Early Childhood Family Education

Parent-Child Classes • Birth – 5 Years Old

Offered through your local school district • www.ECFE.info

Creative Kids Academy

Social Network & Care Co-op

No meetings • No pressure • Just $$$ free care

Try us free for 60 days at ITAVcare.com

Special Music, Inc. is a center-based8/28/12 programIt4:10 Takes PMa Village Care MNP 0213 1/14/13 1cx1.indd 11:52 1AM that has been providing pediatric NMT services for children ages 1-21 with autism and neurologic impairments since 2001

Maple Tree Cottage MNP 0911 1cx1.indd 7/25/11 Nannies 3:27 1 PMfrom the Heartland MNP 10/30/12 1212 1cx1.indd ECFE 2:39 PM MNP 1 1012 2cx1.indd 1

Imagine the Possibilities...

Early Education * 6 Weeks–12 Years

Create

H

Learn

Grow

H

Individual NMT • Group NMT • NMT Social Groups

Supporting organizations that provide all aspects of support, resources, opportunities and outreach programs to children and families.

NeurologiC MusiC TherApy serviCes

95% of all proceeds go to charities we support

Beth Wiskus, MA, MT-BC

Free Music, Spanish and Yoga!

Anoka * Centerville * Lexington * Maple Grove * Minnetonka Mounds View * Orono (Old Hill School) – 952-473-1225 (Now Open)

ckakids.com

email: ckainfo@me.com

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Neurologic Music Therapist

We Moved! 2489 Rice St, Ste 50, Roseville, MN 55113 651-486-2017 • www.specialmusicofmn.com

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· childgardenmontessori.com · 612-870-9771 2/15/12 5:13 PM

Fitness, Fun & Friendship ·Learn to Run ·Improve Your Speed & Endurance ·All Fitness Levels

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24/7 Lice Line: 612-564-0678 · 3940 Sunnyside Rd, Edina

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Your dream.

Our expertise.

For your lifestyle.

Find us on Facebook

Loring Park...our backyard.”

Full-time Care for 6 wks – 6 yrs of age • 2 locations near Downtown Mpls Open 7am to 6pm, M–F • Lowest ratios in the state Onsite Chef serving lunch & 2 snacks with many organic options Curriculum includes Spanish, Music, Art, and Dance

A DEVELOPMENTAL MUSIC PROGRAM FOR TODDLERS AND PRESCHOOLERS™

612.861.0188 SylvestreConstruction.com

Jim &AM JudeThe MNPSculpture 2012 Filler Gardens, 1cx2.2.indd 10/18/12 2:42 1 PM 10:03

Child Garden is a leader in the all-day, all-year Montessori Environment for 50 years

Join us for a free class at any of our studio locations.

E-mail info@growingwithmusic.com for additional information. www.growingwithmusic.com

remodeling design renovation

1/7/13 “Downtown Minneapolis is our backdrop...

Go online to donate jimandjudefoundation.com

Facebook.com/LovedTwiceTwinCities • 952-920-8111

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enlightened mama

...for healthy beginnings

empowering birth, baby, breastfeeding & beyond

OUR PROFESSIONAL POSTPARTUM DOULAS ARE IN-HOME NEWBORN EXPERTS

Lamaze Childbirth Prep Classes Breastfeeding Classes & Support New Parent Education & Support Multiples-Specific Education Birth Doula Services & Training

Baby’s first weeks are less stressful and more joyful

651-528-6733

952-942-5676 • Edina, MN • welcomebabycare.com

Receive a free swaddle blanket with your first visit by mentioning this ad

enlightenedmama.com

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Half Pint Parties

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TEACH YOUR CHILD TO LOVE MUSIC

Magic • Facepainting Balloon Animals Characters for Parties & Events

Birthday Parties Unlimited Variety of Beads Take Home 3 Original Creations

Classes Birthday Parties

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Fun Birthday Parties

for children ages 3 and up!

Call 651-487-8272 for more information or to schedule your party.

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If your child stutters:

1-800-992-9392

www.stutteringhelp.org

a guide for parents

Send for our 64-page book by authorities on the prevention of stuttering.

Ask for Book 11 and enclose $1.00 for postage and handling.

Lessons * Horse Camp * Birthday Parties Public Guided Trail Rides by Appointment Only

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Year Round

Make Your

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Child’s Birthday the Best Ever with

Riding Lessons Indoor Arena

We buy and sell previously owned kids clothing

Not just on for the ride—learn all the basics about horses.

(ALL AGES)

1975 1/2 Silver Bell Road · Eagan, MN 651.688.3310 · kidscarouselmn.com

651-226-2027

Sunnyside Stables, Inc. Rosemount, MN www.sunnysidestables.org

Call us today to schedule your party!

763-494-6957 KidzArtMN.com

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If you can dream, you can draw!

1/24/13 1:10 PM February 2013 49

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Real Life “I think it is essential to be there for your kids when they need you the most, to support your partner in what he or she does, and to make yourself happy.”

typically sit down on Sunday and look at the week ahead and what needs to done to make sure the kids are taken care of.

Having open communication and understanding with your partner has been the key aspect of holding things together during busy times.

You must meet a lot of other careeroriented parents through your work.

What advice might you have for them as they navigate the waters of parenting, as well as being successful on the job?

photo by momento images

real mom

Anna Vig

Minneapolis-based Anna Vig is the mother of a three-yearold (Wesley) and an infant (Miles), plus she works full time in a career that requires she looks like a million bucks every time she sets foot out the door—she’s a “Star Stylist” representing Stella & Dot, a boutique-style jewelry and accessories company.

Not only does she run inhome trunk shows, she also coaches and mentors other stylists within the company.

—Kathleen Stoehr

50 February 2013

Q&A

Navigating both a career and parenting is very tricky and I think the most important thing is to cut yourself some slack and never be too hard on yourself. The reality is, you can’t do it all and some things might fall through the cracks or not be done to the best of your ability... that’s life! I think it is essential to be there for your kids when they need you the most, to support your partner in what he or she does, and to make yourself happy. Everyone needs fulfillment—and for many women, that includes their job, friends, family, and so much more. Let it be OK to be away from home and then be completely present when with your family. Life is complicated, busy, fun, and full of love, and that is what is so beautiful about it!

Has your oldest child taken any interest in your business?

[Wesley] loves playing with my jewelry, and you know what? Playing dress up and having fun with jewels is a good time no matter what your age or gender.

What’s your on-the-go wardrobe essential for the active mom in the

Sounds like you have a fairly heavy

upcoming season?

workload with in-home trunk shows and

My on-the-go wardrobe essentials are simple...I love a great pair of leggings or skinny jeans, a loose top that is easy to throw on—and off if spit ups happen. Top it off with a basic pair of studs, a gorgeous statement necklace, or a wrist stacked with bracelets to add a fun pop of color.

This look is casual, but still put together!

supervising other stylists. How do you manage to balance your work life and your family life?

Life is definitely busy with a husband [Andrew], two little kids, and doing my Stella & Dot business ...but they are all things I love so I am willing to make it work! Balance is key. My husband and I

Family of 4 from $149 per person

2012-2013 season Valid: Mar. 29 - Apr. 7, 2013

You can get there. We can help.

Visit www.MN529today.com or call 1-877-338-4646