November/December 2020

November / December 2020

THE EDUCATION ISSUE

LEARNING IN A PANDEMIC

PERFECT PUMPKIN PANCAKES PAGE 20

PAGE 32

The impacts of ACEs on today’s students PAGE 22

What toys teach kids about gender PAGE 27

Simple ways to promote family resilience PAGE 12

Relish what you would’ve missed PAGE 14

Holiday calendar (socially distant edition) PAGE 34

Ellie, 7, of South St. Paul

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER

[ VOLUME 35

/// ISSUE 8]

4 FROM THE EDITOR

You got this

Things may look a little different but MN parents keep on keeping on.

6 CHATTER

Holiday gift guide Trending toys that promote social responsibility.

8 BUMP, BIRTH AND BABY

Pandemic birth plans How parents and providers are navigating the challenges.

10 THE UNCENSORED TODDLER

22

Taming a tyrant

27

ACEs and Education

Gender and toys

Lessons learned from irrational toddler behaviors.

How adverse childhood experiences can impact behavior and learning.

What your child plays with can shape their understanding of gender.

12 SCHOOL DAYS

ALSO INSIDE

30 Education L I ST I NGS

& About 34 Out CA L E N DA R

Teaching resilience Prep your family with the tools to bounce back.

14 WORLD’S OKAYEST MOM

Tried and true

Never underestimate simple, straightforward advice.

About our cover kid Name: Ellie Age: 7 City: South St. Paul Parents: Rachael and Steve Sibling: Ava, 12 Personality: Spunky and funny and caring; Ellie has a lot of energy.

Favorite toys: LOL dolls Favorite book: Dog Man series Favorite activities: Rollerblading Favorite foods: Pizza, cucumbers, peppers, peanut butter, anything that is sweet Photos by Little Monarchs Photography littlemonarchsphotos.com

16 ASK THE PEDIATRICIAN

Early autism support How to find the right care for your child right away.

18 #ADULTING

Coping with PPD Amid pandemic anxiety know the signs of PPD. 20 IN THE KITCHEN

Fall flavors

Treat your family to delicious fluffy pumpkin pancakes.

32 FROM OUR READERS

In-person, distance, hybrid A peek at the unique classrooms for Twin Cities kids this school year. mnparent.com • November/December 2020

3

FROM THE EDITOR

Keep on keeping on T mnparent.com

PUBLISHER Janis Hall • jhall@mnparent.com

SALES MANAGER AND CO-PUBLISHER Terry Gahan • tgahan@mnparent.com

EDITOR Jenny Stanley • mnparenteditor@mnparent.com

CONTRIBUTORS Dr. Gigi Chawla, Megan Devine, Katie Dohman, Ed Dykhuizen, Shannon Keough, Rachel Riesgraf, Maggie Sonnek, Erica Wacker, Susan Wangen, Jen Wittes

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Valerie Moe • vmoe@mnparent.com

ART DIRECTOR Dani Cunningham

CIRCULATION Marlo Johnson 612-436-4388 • distribution@mnparent.com

ADVERTISING 612-436-4360 • sales@mnparent.com 40,000 copies of Minnesota Parent are printed monthly, available at 1,100 locations: mnparent.com/racks Go to mnparent.com/subscribe to get this magazine mailed to your home for $18 a year.

Minnesota Parent (ISSN 0740 3437) is published monthly by Minnesota Premier Publications.

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Minnesota Parent is copyright 2020 by Minnesota Premier Publications. All rights reserved.

Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is prohibited. Address all material to address above.

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November/December 2020 • mnparent.com

hings look a little different this year.

Are you sick of hearing that phrase yet?

It can be applied to pretty much every facet of our lives in 2020 — especially when it comes to education. Schools across the state have had to come up with unique plans and protocols this fall to keep kids and staff safe while also providing the best possible learning experience for every student. That’s no easy feat, and it most certainly comes with bumps along the way. From distance learning to masks in class to limited extracurricular activities to everything in between, to be sure, things look a little different this year.

It’s been a long, trying journey since COVID-19 rocked our world last March.

One minute we were planning fun spring break activities for our kids, and the next we were hunkering down at home using our kitchens as classrooms. Now, here we are two months into the new school year, and Minnesota parents are doing the best they can to support their kids’ education, whatever that might look like. For a glimpse, flip to From Our Readers (page 32).

For some kids, the change in school routine is a breeze. For others, not so much. In this, our Education Issue, we take a look at the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) on behavior and learning for today’s students (page 22).

These are challenging times for all of us, but the truth is, the world keeps turning.

That’s why strategies for promoting family resilience (page 12) are so necessary right now. Expectant mamas are still making birth plans — in a pandemic (page 8). And, lo and behold, the holidays are still coming, so our feature on gender and toys (page 27) is a must-read before gift-giving.

Aside from it being the start of a new school year, the theme of education is so appropriate for this issue. Minnesota Parent has been an educational resource for local moms and dads for more than 30 years. Our readers, columnists and frequent contributors are the heart and soul of this publication, always eager to have a conversation and share knowledge with each other about the topics that matter most to parents.

That is why it is so difficult to announce that this issue will be our last. Like it has for so many other businesses, the coronavirus pandemic has had a major impact on Minnesota Premier Publications. While its three titles, Minnesota Parent, Minnesota Good Age and Southwest Journal, are currently for sale, the company will officially close its doors after this issue.

It is with the heaviest of hearts that we say farewell to Minnesota Parent. Three decades is certainly a great ride, yet somehow it doesn’t seem long enough.

Yes, things look a little different this year.

Jenny Stanley, Editor

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CHATTER

Toy trends: social responsibility We’ve tapped the experts at The Toy Insider for the scoop on what’s hot this holiday season.

One top trend includes toys that promote social responsibility — yes, please!

According to The Toy Insider: “Toys are teaching tools for kids, and it’s important they reflect the world around them. This year, toy companies are focused on creating toys that are culturally diverse, sustainable and accessible, helping to instill strong values in kids.”

Check out our favorites below, and then head to thetoyinsider.com to find more 2020 trends, toy reviews and gift guides.

Zoe (Healthy Roots Dolls) Created from a successful Kickstarter campaign, the Zoe doll features lifelike hair that can be washed and styled using real products. From curls to braids to everything in between, Zoe encourages kids to get creative while embracing the beauty in our diversity.

Ages 6+, $79.99

Real Rigs Recycling Truck (Kid Trax/Pacific Cycle) It’s never too early to teach kids about recycling! This ride-on truck comes with nine recyclable accessories such as a milk carton, a newspaper and plastic bottles, and it features more than 100 fun sound effects.

Ages 18 months+, $199

LEGO Duplo Modular Playhouse (LEGO) Toddlers can build this modular LEGO set to reflect an apartment-style tower or a residential house, as shown in the photo. It features

Theo the Therapy Dog (Roylco)

a living room, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom

This unique stuffed animal is designed

as well as several accessories for teaching kids

to help kids cope with stress. It’s

various life skills through play.

weighted (2.5 pounds), features

Ages 2+, $59.99

a hot/cold pack and a lavender scent.

Kids can simply snuggle Theo or lay it on their lap or shoulders to feel a sense of security and comfort.

Ages 3+, $49.95

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November/December 2020 • mnparent.com

Crayola Colors of the World (Crayola) Crayola has created new colors that celebrate more than 40 different skin tones. Shade names range from “extra light” to “deepest” and include three undertones: almond, golden and rose.

Ages 3+, $1.77-$2.49

Geomag 100% Recycled Panels 114 Pieces (Geomagworld) For kids who love to build stuff, this Geomag set will provide hours of playtime as well as an opportunity to learn about sustainability.

It comes with magnetic rods, steel spheres and 100 percent recycled plastic panels that can be used to build anything imaginable.

Big Life Journal

Filled with activities and prompts to get kids thinking and writing about important everyday topics, this journal helps to teach kids confidence, resilience, gratitude, kindness and self-love. Journals are available for a variety of ages at biglifejournal.com.

Daily Edition, Ages 6-10, $19.95

Ages 5+, $79.99

mnparent.com • November/December 2020

7

Jen Wittes

BUMP, BIRTH AND BABY

Pregnant in pandemic W

hat is already a time of wild joy and excitation, hormonal fluctuation, existential evaluation, relationship intensity and anxiety becomes all of those things turbo-supercharged with — you know — a global health crisis. Questioning epidurals is scrapped for thoughts on PPE. Choosing a doula involves choosing a digital platform on which you will communicate with said doula while in the delivery room, because she will not be allowed to attend your birth physically.

What if I have COVID when I give birth?

What if my baby gets it? What if my partner can’t be there with me?

Let me first acknowledge that this is a lot. A whole lot. Birth plans and sleep deprivation and breastfeeding — or decidedly not breastfeeding — are already big things. To add a thick layer of COVID anxiety — something literally everyone on the planet is struggling with — makes this a really crazy time to give birth. But… Please take heart. You can do this. You will do this. And while it may not be the birth you envisioned, it will be yours and it will be fine.

You are not alone Said Whitney H., a new mom in St. Paul, “I was 34 weeks pregnant when schools and businesses closed in mid-March.

My biggest concern was that my husband would not be allowed in the delivery room. I was very grateful that he was allowed in the room, and our doula provided wonderful support remotely.”

You may find it unusual, to say the least, to have a COVID test while in labor. It may feel like something out of a science fiction movie to be tended to by nurses and doctors in full suits of PPE, including face

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November/December 2020 • mnparent.com

guards. Weirdness aside, most expectant parents are grateful for the steps taken in the name of health and protection, particularly if the family is able to stay together. Know that the maternity ward will be meticulously quarantined from where patients are treated for COVID and that most hospitals, birth centers and homebirth practitioners will have protocols in place if a birthing mother tests positive for COVID. Whitney advised, “In addition to changing protocols, the regulations at my doctor’s office changed with each visit. I encourage pregnant mamas to call their clinics the day before each appointment to ask about any policy changes since they were last seen.” She added, “Maintain an open mind about your provider. We found that providers were furloughed or moved at a moment’s notice and I needed to be flexible about

who I saw for appointments.”

In the beginning phases of COVID, homebirth midwives saw an upswing in calls from parents who were nervous about birth during this pandemic. Said Kate Andrew, CPM in Northfield and the South Metro, “I was getting loads of calls … way more than what is typical. Many of the families I spoke with expressed a great deal of fear: I don’t want them to take my baby away, I’m afraid to give birth alone, I don’t want to miss the birth of my child, what if we all get exposed and sick while we’re in the hospital, what if they won’t release my partner or baby?”

Listen to your heart Midwives pride themselves on understanding that homebirth is not for everyone. When asked if it was harder than usual to assess a woman’s candidacy for homebirth during this frenzy

of fear, Andrew said, “It’s actually felt easy to assess who wants to give birth at home and who wants to give birth in the hospital but wishes COVID would just go away. In almost every instance, families come to the realization that their original choices are their true choices and they’ve gone forward, still nervous, but feeling more grounded and in control of their decisions.”

Which brings us to something that you’ll see across the board in reading about birth during COVID, and it’s something mentioned in my chats with both new mama Whitney and midwife Kate. Do not underestimate the value of support, in any shape or form — be it a crew of best friends ready to listen, a willing and informative midwife or doula, your family or your partner. You need to express thoughts and fears and know that you’re not alone.

Said Andrew, “Is fear of COVID or COVID-related policies a reason to choose home birth? Maybe. Giving birth where and with whom you feel safe is a big part of safety during labor and birth as a whole, in my opinion the question is … where do you truly feel safest?”

Wherever you birth, whatever it takes, pandemic parents, feel safe. Find your safety, both mentally and physically. Your care providers, friends, family and local baby columnist have your back.

On a brighter note, COVID is a heck of a good excuse when you don’t feel like entertaining postpartum visitors. When all is said and done and Baby is safe and sound in your arms, enjoy that sweet postnatal quarantine bubble. You’ve earned it.

Jen Wittes is a marketing director, writer, certified postpartum doula and mom of two living in St. Paul. mnparent.com • November/December 2020

9

Shannon Keough

THE UNCENSORED TODDLER

The eternal toddler “W

e’re a nation in thrall to a tantruming two-year-old.” — Me, in conversation with myself following the first presidential debate.

I was all set to write a hopeful column featuring my “winter pandemic survival tips.” Parenting during times of stress is hard, and after going through some challenging times (my husband’s cancer treatment, for example), I thought I might have some hard-won lessons worth sharing.

But then I watched the first presidential debate between Trump and Biden, and now I can’t think about anything else.

The debate will be old news by the time this column is published — but the lessons of the debate will always be relevant.

The dark side of toddlers I’ve already written about the “rise of the child king,” a distressing phenomenon I’ve noticed in my day-to-day life as a parent.

Perhaps you’ve noticed this trend, too: children who interrupt conversations; children who make unreasonable demands; children who say rude, inappropriate things with impunity.

Of course, this is the kind of behavior we can expect from young children. It becomes a problem when we, the parents, neglect to address it; when we prostrate ourselves to their demands. And it becomes a problem when these troubling behaviors are carried into adulthood.

some of the lessons I gleaned from that alarming display on September 29:

Lesson #1: Ignore the tantrum This is Toddler 101: the toddler wants attention and is pitching a fit to get it. As long as the toddler doesn’t pose an immediate threat to himself or others, let him cry it out. Any attention will just add fuel to the fire. (In other words, mute the mic.)

When the child king grows up

Lesson #2: Don’t say ‘number two’

The first presidential debate has a lot to teach us about managing the challenging behaviors of out-of-control toddlers. It’s too bad that this cautionary tale features the president of the United States, but hey, lemonade from lemons, right? Here are

During the debate, Biden tried to explain something with numbered steps (e.g.

“Number one, America needs to…”). When he got to step two, Trump interrupted him, saying, “No, you’re a number two.”

Let’s all meditate on that for a moment.

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November/December 2020 • mnparent.com

Toddlers do not negotiate. They are not governed by reason. They are, in fact, governed by the big feelings they are unable to express in a socially acceptable way.

Is this the president of the United States, or some dunderheaded fourth grade bully?

Toddlers are all about “going low.” Now is not the time for “radical vulnerability.”

Choose your words carefully. Give them nothing to work with.

Lesson #3: Embrace teachable moments Toddlers say the darndest things, amirite?

Things like, “You’re stupid” or “That cashier is really ugly.” Sometimes presidents say naughty little things too; things like, “Proud Boys: Stand back and stand by.”

Do we accept this kind of rhetoric in the land of the free and the home of the brave?

No, we do not. When a toddler says something completely beyond the pale, it’s the parent’s job to intervene and embrace the teachable moment. (Or again, if it’s too late to offer guidance: Mute the mic.)

Lesson #4: Avoid negotiation Have you ever tried to negotiate with a toddler? It rarely ends well. Similarly, the presidential debate featured endless cringe-y exchanges between Trump and Chris Wallace, the moderator, during which Wallace pleaded with Trump to stop interrupting, to follow the rules like he said he would, and so on and so forth.

Toddlers do not negotiate. They are not governed by reason. They are, in fact, governed by the big feelings they are unable to express in a socially acceptable way.

Which brings me to my last lesson:

Lesson #5: Bring out the hook Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your toddler simply goes off the deep end.

When this happens it is often best to hold your head high, gently but firmly hoist your toddler like a rolled-up area rug and swiftly remove them from the scene.

Shannon Keough lives in St. Paul with her husband and two children. Send questions or comments to skeough@mnparent.com.

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Promoting family resilience in challenging times s we are all navigating our way through everything that is going on in our world, it’s important to take some time to pause and reflect on our paths.

It can be easy to get caught up in negative patterns of behavior with all of the social and economic stressors that are present in our current society. I certainly have had days where I’ve gotten worked up about things, and others where I’ve done a better job of taking things in stride.

Family life in general has its challenges, but parenting in our current social, political and economic climate is an added burden that complicates and intensifies our responsibility.

Times are tough, and what we all need most is the resilience to keep moving forward.

We are resilient when we possess the ability to recover from difficult experiences and setbacks, to adapt, move forward and sometimes even experience growth.

Recently, I came across an article published by Child Trends, a leading child/ youth-centered research organization that highlighted simple yet important ways to help our children and to promote family resilience during challenging times.

As we approach the holiday season, stay grounded with these practical tips summarized from the Child Trends article Ways to Promote Children’s Resilience to the COVID-19 Pandemic: Spend quality time with each other.

Give your children and your spouse your undivided attention. We are all bombarded with so many responsibilities and distractions, it can be hard to focus on one thing,

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November/December 2020 • mnparent.com

or one person. But it is important. Making a point to connect each day in the form of eating meals together, playing, reading, going outdoors or just through simple conversation is beneficial.

Stay connected, even when physical separation is necessary. Celebrating the holiday season may not look the same for your family as it has in previous years. If you are not able to gather with extended family and friends in person, work to stay connected in other ways such as video conferencing, phone calls, emails, texts or letters. When we maintain relationships and communication with family and friends, in whatever form it may take, we feel secure and supported.

Ask for help when you or someone you are caring for needs it. Listen and respond to the needs of others. As stated by the authors, “Asking for help is a sign of

strength and resourcefulness, not of weakness.” Studies have shown that having and leaning into your support system, whatever that may look like for you, is an important contributor to resilience. Think of your support system as anyone who can provide you with practical or emotional support. This may be someone in your family, your network of friends, individuals/groups that are available in your community or providers such as medical or mental health professionals. It is also important to be in tune to the needs of others. Human beings do not always clearly articulate their needs that accompany their struggles. Children, especially, may communicate with negative behaviors (acting out, tantrums, defiance).

Try to maintain routines and rhythms in your family life. Working and learning from home can wreak havoc on schedules

and routines. But disruption or lack of predictable routines and rhythms can affect a child’s (and grown-up’s) self-regulation skills and behaviors. Work to maintain consistent bedtimes, mealtimes and develop rhythms for learning/working, play and relaxation throughout your day.

Prioritize time and energy for meaningful and important activities.

Find joy in simple things you can do given the circumstances. Take breaks from work to enjoy time together as a family.

Celebrate birthdays and important milestones (even if they do not involve elaborate parties). Cook, play games, exercise or maybe even learn a new skill or hobby together with your child(ren).

Make time for emotional check-ins with your child. Offer opportunities for children to ask questions, talk about their feelings and get age-appropriate information and support. I have found opportune times to do this through conversation in the car, taking evening walks together, at mealtimes and at bedtime. Establishing and maintaining communication within a family takes effort and presence.

Emphasize the positive. We are bombarded by disturbing news stories in many forms of media daily. Make a point to highlight and share stories of hope and resilience (e.g., people helping others) with your children to help counterbalance negativity and fear. Share real-life examples in your community or seek out examples in books or positive news sources. Here are a few great sites to check out and add to your news feeds: • goodnewsnetwork.org • dailygood.org • positive.news • huffpost.com/impact/topic/ good-news • today.com/news/good-news • usatoday.com/humankind Megan Devine is an elementary school teacher and mother of four. She lives in Northeastern Minnesota. Write her at mdevine@mnparent.com and check out her blog at kidsandeggs.com.

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mnparent.com • November/December 2020

13

Katie Dohman

WORLD’S OKAYEST MOM

Saying goodbye

W

e were sitting outside by a pool, 6 feet apart. My grandma looked the same as she always did — she was honestly ageless — though a few pounds thinner. We had just celebrated her 94th birthday in her front yard as she looked on from her porch a month earlier, just a few months after she learned she had terminal cancer. Her brown-black eyes sparkled, and then softened. She said, looking directly at me, “I just want it to be normal. I’m just going to make the best of the time I have left.”

She was always a pragmatist. More than once she told me, “Play the hand you’re dealt.” In many ways, she was my opposite.

But she had also survived a lot of honest life heartbreak and I took her advice to heart.

I marveled at her stoicism and resolve.

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November/December 2020 • mnparent.com

Certainly I’d be on the floor, crying, listening to my saddest records on repeat.

After her surgery this spring, I called her three times in one day, which was a record in the entirety of our relationship. When she answered, I said, “You can’t get rid of me today, Gram!” She sing-songed, “Kates, I wouldn’t want tooooo.” It’s a tiny, tiny, tiny spliced second of all the time we spent together that I will carry in a tiny tape recorder in my brain, and take out and play into my ear when I miss her.

She died two months after our visit outside. It’s a lot, on top of all the other loss in our lives over this past year. I’ve gotten sucked into the bog of Everything Is Terrible on a daily basis. I adopted a mantra of “one foot in front of the other,”

I worry that looking back, my children will remember this time as stressful and sad with cranky parents.

But maybe not. trying to manage my disappointment, resentment, and overwhelmedness into tiny Bird-by-Bird pieces — have you read this book by Anne Lamott? — and I’ve been just OK at it. At best.

Recently, Ruby told me that some parts of being home are more fun than in the

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Before Times. “I get to see YOU all the time!” she delightedly told me. Ah yes, cranky, stressed, mood-on-a-knife’s-edge delightful ol’ me. But while I was on Zoom calls, she learned to manage second grade like a boss, and even made peanut butter sandwiches for herself and her brothers. Most of the peanut butter even made it onto the bread. Sorta. I watched Eero, 3, just out of the camera’s view, start to add arms and legs and eyes and hair to his drawings, unprompted. I heard Remy joyously tell his kindergarten teacher through his Google Meet how we went on a hike up a MOUNTAIN (er, a hill in a St. Paul park) and that he had a LONG DANCE PARTY with his family WAY PAST BEDTIME. This stuff I would have missed.

And we did have a really good dance party. Way past bedtime. I worry that looking back, my children will remember this time as stressful and sad with cranky parents. But maybe not. Maybe they’re playing the hand they’ve been dealt.

Maybe I need to pay closer attention to Grandma Jeanne’s lesson.

I want it to be normalish again soon.

For all of us to be together. Everything in its rightful spot, or moving toward

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a better spot. For all of us. For now, we’ll make the okayest of it. I hope you do, too. Stay in touch.

Katie Dohman lives in West St. Paul with her three kids, two dogs, one cat and one husband. She loves them a lot, which is good, because she can’t remember the last time she slept a whole night through.

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Dr. Gigi Chawla

Early autism diagnosis first steps We have a child with an autism diagnosis at 21/2 years old. Where do we start? What models of therapy/intervention do you recommend?

The good news is that your child’s diagnosis is early. Many children with autism aren’t diagnosed until after age 3. Research shows that the sooner you know, the more effective your interventions can be.

But where to begin? If your pediatrician hasn’t yet prescribed therapies or referred you to specialists, I’d recommend reaching back out to him or her, or connecting with one of Minnesota’s centers dedicated to the evaluation, assessment and therapies for families living with autism. They’re experts, and they’ll help you chart the path forward, coordinating care from all kinds of partners, including developmental pediatricians, speech pathologists, physical therapists, mental health providers and more.

Help is also available through your school district, even well before kindergarten, in the form of toddler interventions and preschool special education services. Before age 3, care is often provided in the home setting, and parents are a vital, active part of the process. Visit your district’s website to get started.

Even with all the support available, the journey may still feel overwhelming. It might help, in these early days, to narrow your focus and zero in on the most essential therapies for your child right now.

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November/December 2020 • mnparent.com

For a toddler, that likely means occupational and speech therapy.

Occupational therapists help with a wide range of topics including motor skill development, social interaction, potty training and sleep training. Speech therapy is an essential intervention for just about every autistic child — and adults, for that matter — and has a profound impact on not just language development but also social and behavioral development.

While these therapies are often the heart and soul of early interventions, they can be delivered in many different ways, based on the perspectives of the providers.

It’s important that your child’s therapists are a good match for your family. I encourage you to spend as much time as

possible with them, and don’t be shy in asking for references.

I’ll also put in a plug for your pediatrician. Because autism is such a complex condition that presents so differently from one child to the next, your pediatrician can be one of your strongest allies. We have the advantage of firsthand experience with your family and, ideally, we have ongoing communication with you (the expert on the patient!). We’re here to help parents navigate these journeys and to advocate for their children, no matter what health conditions they face. Count on us to be there for you.

Dr. Gigi Chawla is a board-certified pediatrician and the chief of general pediatrics at Children’s Minnesota.

Maggie Sonnek

#ADULTING

I

n January 2013, Hallie Rogers was sitting on the floor with her 4-month-old and 20-month-old daughters, crying. The tears wouldn’t stop.

“I was worried my kids were going to remember me as a mom who was sad all the time,” says Hallie, a postpartum doula and lactation counselor (pictured at right).

“I later realized I wasn’t just sad. I was depressed. But I wasn’t talking to anyone.

I wasn’t able to access what I needed.”

Two months later, Hallie started her business, Better Beginnings.

“No mom should have to feel the way I felt,” says Hallie, now a mom of four.

By becoming a postpartum support professional, the former high school English teacher began offering support to new parents during their first days, weeks and months at home.

Natalie, mom to two girls, ages three and one, called upon Hallie after the birth of their second in 2019.

“There is so much focus on the baby that moms are often forgotten,” Natalie says. “Getting help — whether it’s therapy, medication or support from a postpartum doula — is the best thing you can do for yourself and your baby. If you’re not doing well, the baby won’t do well.”

Natalie says that call for help is often the hardest, but also the most crucial part of the healing process. “My sister encouraged me to reach out to my doctor,” she says. “I called my OBGYN office and simply said, ‘I don’t think I’m doing okay.’”

While Natalie created a plan with her doctor, Hallie and her team of postpartum doulas encircled her. The team,

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which has expanded to a staff of 20, offers newborn education and breastfeeding support as well as care for new parents.

As personal caregivers, Hallie’s team has been able to continue their mission throughout the pandemic.

“We make sure parents get a nap and a shower or bath,” Hallie says, noting that during their 4-hour daytime visits, they also prep meals and pick up groceries. “We love loving on new moms through food. When a soup is simmering on the stove, it makes the whole house smell — and feel — good.”

While homemade chicken wild rice soup is good for the soul, a good night’s sleep is good for mental health. For that reason, Better Beginnings also offers nighttime support. “Humans can’t actually form memories if we don’t get at least four hours of uninterrupted sleep,” Hallie says.

“And mental health really starts suffering when we’re getting less than five to six hours of sleep.”

Macey Reynolds took advantage of that nighttime support, hiring a night nurse to ensure she and her husband could rely on a few stretches of continuous rest.

Following the birth of their third child, Macey says she was in a fog.

“I just wanted to feel normal and like myself again,” Macey says. “I had an amazing husband, three beautiful kids and supportive friends. Yet, the anxiety felt like quicksand yanking me away from the present.”

Macey says her faith, prayer and support from other moms lifted her — and ultimately lifted the fog, too.

Hallie says it’s not uncommon for second- or third-time moms to experi-

Photo by Erica Loeks Photography

Coping with postpartum depression during COVID-19

ence depression or anxiety. While help floods in for first-time moms, often there’s little support when subsequent children come along.

“Our society expects women to transition into motherhood pretty much on their own,” Hallie says. “While some of us have sisters, mothers or mothers-in-law who can step in and help for an extended period of time, most of us don’t have a village or support like that.”

Stillwater-based marriage and family therapist Dr. Kate Walsh Soucheray explains that when parents feel alone during big life changes, anxiety can skyrocket.

“Creating new tools for coping and ways of thinking takes energy. And during a significant life change, like welcoming home a baby, new moms often don’t have the energy to do anything extra,” Dr. Soucheray says. She suggests making things as predictable and systematic as possible. “Ask a friend to set up a meal train. Nap when the baby naps. Schedule a

Creative Learning Begins Here!

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virtual therapy session. Journal. You don’t have to be Wonder Woman.”

Natalie echoes that. “Don’t be a hero. Don’t think you can just power through this.”

Hallie says that while postpartum depression anxiety is common, it’s not normal. She calls out a few signs she looks for while she’s helping moms: inability to sleep or an excessive amount of sleep, extreme irritability and/or tears, rage or hard-to-control anger, and lack of joy or connectedness to Baby.

If these signs appear, Hallie suggests therapy, medication and exercise as ways to start healing.

“Postpartum depression is a chemical imbalance. If someone has diabetes, insulin is prescribed. For asthma, it’s an inhaler,” Hallie explains. “For postpartum depression, medication is often necessary.

That shouldn’t be linked with shame.”

For Macey, healing began with fresh air, worship music and group fitness classes at her gym. For Natalie, restoration came through rest and sleep.

For new moms struggling, here’s a distanced air-hug. And a reminder. “This isn’t going to last forever,” Macey says.

“You will feel normal again. You will come back to yourself.”

Maggie Sonnek is a wife, mom to three, and writer. Having struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety after their third was born, she appreciates these women who are bravely sharing their own journeys.

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IN THE KITCHEN

BY RACHEL RIESGRAF

in k p um P y ff Flu es ak c an P

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November/December 2020 • mnparent.com

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Mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients until just combined. Some lumps are OK; do NOT overmix. Let batter sit 5-10 minutes.

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November/December 2020 • mnparent.com

By Susan Wangen couple years ago, a conversation sparked a change in the way I teach. As the last fourth grader trailed out of my classroom for the day, some fellow teachers and I gathered in the hallway to hash out the day’s events. One coworker talked about an activity he tried that day that his class couldn’t handle — the students were just too talkative and unfocused.

“Maybe next year you’ll have a class that can do it,” I commented, our standard response when we had those days where we couldn’t get students to hook into a lesson. And I’ll never forget what another coworker said next: “I don’t know,” she began, “I think this is the new norm.”

That moment has frozen in time as a touchstone for me. It was the moment that opened my eyes to the fact that our community of kids in general has changed. There are many reasons why the culture of behavior and learning is different now than it was even 10 years ago, but it wasn’t until I discovered the presence of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) that I began to seriously rethink how I taught.

When I zoom forward to our current education situation, the consideration of ACEs is even more important for anyone teaching kids. Everything in our students’ worlds has changed drastically this year (e.g., distance learning, hybrid learning, masks, group separation and isolation) and will continue to change throughout the foreseeable future.

Prior to the pandemic, one theory contributing to the ever-so-noticeable changes in students in the past decade includes the residuals of the No Child Left Behind Act as well as a statewide shift to all-day kindergarten. The education world has put a heavy emphasis on academic rigor to prepare for state tests, which has resulted in a lack of play.

In Pasi Sahlberg’s book, Let the Children Play, he discusses the fundamental need for free play and fresh-air recess. The lack of unstructured play at school is resulting in a community of kids who are unable to sit still, solve problems socially and display the same sit-in-a-desk-listening-to-alesson stamina that kids did so obediently “back in the day.”

Another contributing factor stems from the fact that the number of children dealing with trauma is on the rise. I had noticed in the last few years that even my tried-and-true behavior consequences were not having any effect on certain kids.

And what us teachers once chalked up to be a general lack of respect for authority and enabling and/or lack of parenting at home needed to be reexamined.

I’m embarrassed to admit it wasn’t until last year that I learned the term ACEs. According to the ACE study done in 1995, and again in 2019, there are basically 10 categories of personal or household abuse, neglect and other traumas that deeply impact children’s ability to regulate emotions and learn in school. According to the ACE Interface Presentation, brains develop and adapt differently as a result of such traumas.

After learning the basics of ACEs, I began to consume everything trauma-related that I could get my hands on: reading Notching Up: The Nurtured Heart Approach by Howard Glasser and The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis, taking a class in Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) and becoming an ACE Interface Trainer.

Applying what I had learned, I started to see little glimmers of hope with some tough

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November/December 2020 • mnparent.com

kids in my classroom.

These sparks of success led me to believe there is hope for kids dealing with ACEs. According to trauma-informed practices, kids need several trusted adults building relationships with them to gain the resilience they need to overcome certain traumas. Depending on the parent situation at home, this may mean that the role of other family members, teachers, coaches, neighbors and community members becomes crucial to help kids succeed.

Being mindful of ACEs, here are some of the biggest successes I’ve seen in the classroom and as a parent:

TEACHING SELF-AWARENESS AND SELF-REGULATION Karyn Purvis and the TBRI model talk about checking your “internal engine.” We need to teach kids how to be aware of how they are feeling. Many children who have experienced adverse situations are in constant survival mode. They are often unaware of their emotions and even basic needs such as hunger and thirst. I’ve been guilty of being the tough disciplinarian when a child is acting out, but when I heard that dehydration can often cause aggression, I felt shocked. Maybe I didn’t need to get tougher … but rather hand them a water bottle.

EYE CONTACT/TALKING TO THEM ON THEIR LEVEL Over the years, movies and TV have portrayed teachers and parents maintaining their authority by standing over a child. It’s

easy as a teacher of a large classroom to fall into the habit of shouting commands across the room, or to stand over a student when questioning their disruptive behavior.

Trauma-informed models have shown that part of strengthening a caregiver relationship is connecting through eye contact at the child’s level.

THE REDO/RESET I frequently forget that children are not preprogrammed to know what we as adults have already learned the hard way — for example, how to speak respectfully. On the way out of Target last year, a kind employee waved goodbye to my then 4-year-old son.

He was in a silly mood, so he called over his shoulder, “Bye, tootie-butt.” (Yep, we were in that phase.) My gut reaction was to snap at him, take something away or otherwise punish him, when I realized he doesn’t know that kind strangers working at Target might not prefer being addressed as a tootie-butt. Instead I said, “Whoops, we don’t call people that. Let’s try it again.

How about just: Bye!” I read about the reset in The Nurtured Heart Approach. And kids with ACEs have a low threshold for frustration already! When they don’t understand how to act and get punished, it furthers that frustration and often results in an anger explosion.

MORE PLAY! As I mentioned earlier, increased demands from standardized testing and common core pressure has caused free play and recess to be on the chopping block in the

CATEGORIES OF ACES ABUSE • Emotional • Sexual • Physical

NEGLECT • Physical • Emotional

HOUSEHOLD DYSFUNCTION • Living with someone - with mental illness - who abuses substances - who was incarcerated • Witnessing domestic violence • Experiencing a separation or divorce

traditional school day. Educational researchers are finding that lack of play is directly contributing to increased challenging behaviors in the classroom. They discovered that when kids do not have the social and physical benefits of enough play, they have fewer coping and resilience strategies for the trauma they have experienced. Especially now, as most children have experienced some level of social isolation due to the pandemic, fresh air and free play are important for healing!

What I love about these strategies is that they are good for all kids, heavy trauma or

no. Things like building relationships, providing more strategies for problemsolving and allowing kids to learn from mistakes are all things that we should be teaching our children.

I know some people in the education world think schools have gone “too soft.”

They believe we are constantly bending over backwards for kids with any sort of challenge, unique belief or emotional hardship. Yet the truth is — there is such power in perspective. For example, rather than making assumptions about the behavior of tough kids, we can shift our

thinking to wonder the cause of that behavior. It’s changing from “what’s wrong with that kid?” to “what happened to that kid, and how can I help?” Anyone who has worked with children knows that kids today are dealing with far more than most of us did at their age.

Whether a child has thrived or struggled throughout the last year, dealing with issues of quarantine, isolation, hybrid or distance learning, etc., is a level of trauma.

At the moment of writing these words, I am a bit over a month into our latest school year. It’s different than any year I’ve ever taught, but one thing is clear — we are in the midst of raising some of the most resilient and persevering humans our culture has ever seen. And I can’t wait to see how they change the world.

Susan Wangen is a Minnesota native and a fourth grade teacher in the southwest suburbs. She lives with her husband and two kids, Charly and Auggie. Find more of her writing at throughthetreetops.snappages.site

mnparent.com • November/December 2020

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Girls, Boys & Their Toys

By Erica Wacker

o what are you having?

If you’ve ever been pregnant, you know exactly what this question means. The asker is not wondering what you’re having for lunch. They want to know if the baby growing inside of you is going to be born biologically male or biologically female.

A perfectly innocent and socially acceptable question, to be sure. But as soon as you answer it, assumptions immediately start to form about who your unborn child is going to be, what toys and activities they are going to like and even what they will be when they grow up.

Of course, you could decide not to find out the sex of your baby, or keep it a secret until birth. But that doesn’t mean people will keep their gender-influenced thoughts to themselves.

“People had a really hard time when we didn’t find

out the sex of our baby,” remembers Michael Butchko, a psychologist and father of two who lives in Blaine.

“They would ask, ‘How do I know what to get them?’”

Despite strides being made against traditional gender norms (the share of mothers as breadwinners has more than doubled since 1967) and growing acceptance of gender as a spectrum (“they” as a singular pronoun was Merriam-Webster’s 2019 word of the year), we still live in a “boy and girl” world. Dolls, tea parties and the color pink are associated with one sex, and trucks, superheroes and blue with another.

But why? Is there something about girls that makes them go gaga for princesses? Are boys born to love football and dinosaurs? While these questions aren’t new, they are worthy of regular examination. And the answers can have lasting effects on who our children grow up to be.

mnparent.com • November/December 2020

27

Girls, Boys & Their Toys Nature vs. nurture

When it comes to behavior and interests, there are a few innate differences between boys and girls. Several studies have shown that kids as young as 12 months play with toys differently, including making gendertyped toy selections, and that these choices can have long-term consequences.

For example, traditional girl toys have been found to elicit nurturing, proximity and role play, and traditional boy toys encourage higher mobility, activity and manipulative play.

Other research has uncovered differences in how boys and girls solve conflict, and that boys engage in more “rough and tumble” play, while girls show more close friendships. However, while all of this is true on average, on an individual level, variability within the sexes is often greater than between them.

Take Vivienne, for example. After being dressed in ruffles and bows since birth, around the age of 2, she decided this look wasn’t for her. And it wasn’t just the clothes; running, playing sports and archery were much more appealing to her than sitting inside and playing with dolls.

And then there’s Carter. An animated and enthusiastic 5-year-old boy, he loves to play dress up and put on shows. When he’s pretending to be Elsa or playing “Just Dance” on Nintendo Wii, he’ll put a shirt or pajama pants on his head to mimic long hair.

“He sees that he’s playing this role,” says his mom Amy Seeman, a fashion stylist who lives in Maple Grove. “The hair adds to the drama of his dance movements and completes the look of the costumes.”

Now 4, Vivienne is becoming more aware of others’ expectations about what she should like. When she dressed up as the Hulk for Halloween last year, “Some of the kids said, ‘Look, there’s a girl Hulk, girls can’t be Hulk.’ She had no idea why

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November/December 2020 • mnparent.com

↑ Mischief’s toy selection focuses on creativity, problem solving and inventive play.

Photo by Erica Wacker

people would say that,” her mom, Whitney Determan of Centerville, recalls.

Seeman has had similar experiences when Carter wears his “hair” in public. “It does draw attention and people are quick to compliment his hat, to which we politely respond that it’s actually his hair,” she says. “I think there’s an opportunity to acknowledge a child’s creativity without making assumptions.”

What’s at stake

A girl Hulk and a boy Elsa fall outside of our traditional understanding of gender, which is constantly reinforced by the movies we watch, the toys we buy and the things we say around our kids. Butchko, who works as a psychologist at The Emily Program, has done a lot of research on these norms, and how media and toys play into them.

One of his focuses is toxic masculinity, which rewards boys for taking charge, not showing emotion and being aggressive and tough. For boys, “Anything that would be deemed to be ‘sissy’ is very frowned upon,” he says, adding that the cultural script that boys are expected to follow says “we can’t hug other boys or tell them that we love them,” which can lead to expressing emotion in physical and sometimes violent ways.

In his work treating people with eating

Is there something about girls that makes them go gaga for princesses?

Are boys born to love football and dinosaurs? disorders, he finds that dolls with superthin waists and action figures with impossibly large biceps can factor into common disorders including anorexia, bulimia and muscle dysmorphia for people with other psychosocial risk factors.

“There are a lot of positive traits and values that we can find in superheroes, but it’s also [about] the visual imagery,” he says. “Our kids are attaching all of that to appearance.”

Girls are given greater permission to step across the invisible gender line and do things like play sports, have short hair and become doctors and CEOs. But both sexes can face social consequences if they take it too far.

“What we’re finding is there are many components to gender and it’s much more complex than two boxes,” says Jenifer McGuire, an associate professor in Family Social Science at the University of

← Mischief toy store on Grand Avenue in Saint Paul. Photo

by Melanie Graves, Explore Minnesota

you will find are toys that encourage creativity, problem solving and inventive play, like The Offbits design-your-own robot kits, Plus-Plus building sets and Hey Clay, which comes with an app to teach kids how to model bugs, monsters and other creatures out of clay.

Parents play a role While we can’t control everything our kids are exposed to, parents have a lot of influence in how children are introduced to and play with toys, and how to address the Minnesota, specializing in gender identity and family relationships. “There’s been some acceptance that some people don’t fit, but the recognition of the boxes as problematic is not there.”

These boxes are especially dangerous for people who are nonbinary or transgender.

Kids who fall outside of this binary feel it from a very young age. If your son says he’s not a boy or your daughter says she’s not a girl, “listen to them and tell your pediatrician about it,” McGuire says.

Toys that break the mold

The Toy Association, a national trade group that presents the Toy of the Year Awards, discontinued the “Boy Toy of the Year” and “Girl Toy of the Year” categories in 2017. Minneapolis-based Target made waves when, after public outcry, it removed boy and girl signage and blue and pink shelf liners from its toy aisles in 2015.

But merchandising of toys and other products is still very gendered, with dolls and ponies in pink and purple packaging in one aisle, and Nerf guns and Hot Wheels in another. On a recent trip to Target in St. Paul, the kids birthday card aisle still donned “For Girls” and “For Boys” signs.

“What I would love to see is a commercial of a boy playing with Barbies, and he grows up to be an amazing stay-at-home dad so his wife can pursue her career, or an actor or dancer on Broadway,” says Seeman.

“Kids want to see someone like them wherever they look. There’s an opportunity

in some of the marketing for sure.”

On St. Paul’s Grand Avenue, Mischief toy store is growing its selection for younger kids after the closure of its neighbor, Creative Kidstuff. As an independent small business, Mischief specializes in offering personal recommendations to every customer that walks in the door. And those recommendations are never gender-specific.

“We encourage the right toy for the right kid,” said manager Abby AdelsheimMarshall. “We don’t categorize our toys by gender. We try to get toys that are as open as possible and give kids a lot of choices.”

If you’re looking for Barbie, Lego or Paw Patrol, you won’t find them here. What

gender stereotypes that come with them.

“The best strategy is to have a broad range available, and to support the toys and activities that they choose,” McGuire says.

“No amount of buying kids dolls or trucks is going to change how much they like those toys. It comes from within them.”

In many cases, ideas about certain toys or interests being tied to one sex or another come from adults, not kids. “We don’t say boy vs. girl toys in our house; we say fancy or athletic or brain toys,” says Amy Seeman, reminding herself and others to be conscious of “how we are talking about this in front of our children.”

Determan, who teaches first grade, says her district (like many others in Minnesota and other states) has instituted gender sensitivity training, where teachers learn about gender norms and how to use gender-neutral language, such as calling students “kids” or “first graders” rather than boys or girls.

Even if your children do fit neatly into the boxes that society has constructed, you can teach them to be kind to those who don’t.

“There’s no such thing as normal; every child is different,” says Seeman. “There’s no need to label anything at this young age. Our job is simply to build their confidence to live their best authentic lives and allow them to fully express themselves.”

↑ Hot Wheels, monster trucks and a toy snowmobile were at the top of Vivienne’s Christmas list. Photo by Whitney Determan

Erica Wacker and her family of four live in St. Paul. Despite her best efforts, her two boys hate all things pink and glittery. mnparent.com • November/December 2020

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With a 13:1 student-teacher ratio, we get to know each student and encourage all to expect joy in learning.

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of both. MTCS helps students prepare for life academically, culturally, emotionally and socially.

Minneapolis • 612-801-6056 MTCS.org

Resources

Minnesota Landmarks, Inc.

St. Paul's historic Landmark Center boasts four FREE museums and galleries showcasing art, music, and history. Families can take part in incredible hands-on musical experiences, amazing wood art interactives and engaging historical exhibits.

St. Paul • 651-292-3225 landmarkcenter.org

Science Museum of Minnesota

The Science Museum of Minnesota is one of the state’s most popular museums, with a reach that extends well beyond its riverfront location in downtown Saint Paul. Discovery awaits at the Science Museum of Minnesota!

You’ll find something fascinating around every corner.

St. Paul • 651-221-9444 smm.org

Minnesota Transitions Charter Schools (MTCS)

MTCS K–12 is a vibrant and studentcentered program with 7 schools including an established online program as well as classroom education, and a unique blend

are you looking for the following in your child's education?

In-Person + Distance Learning options?

A rigorous curriculum?

Virtue immersion?

Inspiration for the mind and heart?

www.agamim.org Educating the whole child.

Learn more at mnwaldorf.org Agamim Academy MNP 1120 S3.indd 1

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mnparent.com • November/December 2020

MN Waldorf School MNP 1120 V6.indd 1

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FROM OUR READERS

Star students The 20/21 school year is off to a unique start, to say the least. But these kids are getting to work and having fun — whether their classroom is in a school building, at home or both!

↑ Araliya, 8, and Amaya, 6, of Brooklyn Park

↑ Mallory, 9, of Prior Lake

↑ Emlyn, 7, of Woodbury

↑ Itisha, 6, of Eden Prairie

↑ Graham, 7, Carter, 10, and Chase, 7, of Woodbury

↑ Leightyn, 7, of Savage

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November/December 2020 • mnparent.com

↑ Linnea, 6, of Minneapolis

↑ Lily, 6, of Blaine

↑ Claire, 4, of Minneapolis

↑ Ellie, 10, of Blaine

↑ Isaac, 7, of Minneapolis

↑ Lucas, 6, of Ham Lake

CHILDCARE/EDUCATION Learning Center & Day Care | 6 Wks - School Age Family Owned, Family Run Since 1985

952-888-8052

rainbowmontessorimn.com

8736 Nicollet Ave S, Bloomington

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12/4/18 4:23 PM

LEADING THE WAY TO HOPE GIVE HELP 612.825.3333

GET HELP 612.825.0000

TUBMAN.ORG

Playing

www.growingwithmusic.com ~ info@growingwithmusic.com

7/9/20 Growing 2:54 PM With Music MNPwith 0119 3cx2.2.indd Preschool childcare1 for

Infants and Toddlers available at all locations

Your child is a natural...

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Singing

Ages 3–Adult

Bring Growing With Music to your child care program or playgroup!

PARTY

12/13/18 12:01 PM

Composing

Free Preview Classes PRE K–8TH GRADE

CHILDREN’S YAMAHA MUSIC SCHOOL Celebrating Over 40 Musical Years in Minnesota!

www.childrensyamaha.com • 612-339-2255 Schools in Edina & Roseville

PLACE AN AD

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Call 952-935-5588 and schedule a tour! misamigospreschool.com

Locations in Hopkins, Golden Valley, and St. Paul

CALL 612-825-9205 TODAY

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651-487-8272 11/12/20 10:10 AM

mnparent.com • November/December 2020

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Como Zoo MNP 0320 1cx2.2.indd 2/18/20 1 11:15 AM

Out & About

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER mnparent.com/calendar

GLOW Holiday Festival ⊲ Drive through one mile of the State Fairgrounds and visit a dozen stops featuring holiday lights, illuminated trees, icicle and art installations, a gingerbread house and a State Fair food court finale.

When: Nov. 19-Jan. 3 Where: State Fairgrounds, St. Paul Info: glowholiday.com Cost: $46 plus fees per car. Tickets must be purchased online in advance.

ONGOING

NOV. 14-DEC. 20

⊲ Model train layouts are adorned with miniature Christmas lights and decorations. The museum is offering limited advance ticket sales in 2-hour time blocks.

⊲ The Swedish Institute’s holiday festival includes a virtual market, a few outdoor stalls on weekends and virtual concerts.

Night Trains

When: Saturdays through Feb. 27 Where: Twin City Model Railroad Museum, St. Paul Cost: $15 per person; FREE under 4 Info: tinyurl.com/night-trains-2020

NOV. 9-22

Last Stop on Market Street (Virtual Performance) ⊲ Watch from home as CJ reluctantly stays with his extremely over-the-top Nana, in a world considerably different from the one he’s used to. This is an allages show lasting 75 minutes.

When: Nov. 9-22 Where: CTC website Cost: $25-$45 per device Info: childrenstheatre.org

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Julmarknad Holiday Market

When: Nov. 14-Dec. 20 Where: American Swedish Institute, Minneapolis Cost: Admittance to museum $6-$12 or FREE for children under 5.

Reservations required.

Info: asimn.org

NOV. 21-DEC. 20

Santa & Albert’s ‘Christmas Magic Mischief’ Holiday Play ⊲ This year’s original Santa and Albert play will be broadcast live through Facebook and Instagram. Kids will have a holiday activity to complete at home and a special surprise is planned for Dec. 24.

When: 10 a.m. Saturdays Nov. 21-Dec. 19

Where: Online Cost: FREE Info: tinyurl.com/santa-albert

NOV. 26-JAN. 3

Sever’s Holiday Lights ⊲ This drive-through display of more than one million lights is synchronized to holiday music.

When: Nov. 26-Jan. 3 Where: Sever’s Festivals, Shakopee Cost: $7 per person or $25 per car maximum Info: seversholidaylights.com

DEC. 13

(Socially Distant) Photos with Santa ⊲ Get a free photo with Santa, seated at an appropriately safe social distance in a festive holiday setting. Reservations will open in mid-November.

When: 1-3 p.m. Dec. 13 Where: The Landmark Center, St. Paul Cost: FREE Info: landmarkcenter.org