Defining LGBTQAPD
Defining LGBTQPAD
The text, images and contents of this publication is copyrighted by its author, photographer or creator. They are used in this publication as an exercise for the course GRAD 210 Graphic Design Studio 2 of the Escuela Internacional de DiseĂąo y Arquitectura de la Universidad del Turabo. At no time it is to attribute authorship of these texts, images and content to the student who designed this publication. Miorany Rodriguez Arzon will not sell this publication and will only use it for the class exercise and inclusion in their professional artist portfolio.
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Tabla de Contenido
Introducion................................................5 Cap5.........................................................22
Cap1...........................................................6
Cap6.........................................................26
Cap2.........................................................10
Cap7.........................................................30
Cap3.........................................................14
Cap8.........................................................34
Cap4.........................................................16
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Defining LGBTQPAD
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Introduction
In this book we’ll talk about the LGBTQPAD comunity and definitions. We will be deciphering every letter in order L for Lesbian, G for Gay, B for Bisexual, T for Transsexual, Q for Queer, P for Pansexual, A for Asexual, and D for Demi sexual. In each chapter well try to help you understand how the other person feels and sees the world; we’ll also help you understand what they are, (as persons) what they like, and wish to do with their love life. Each chapter opens with the Symbol and name of the title we tried to be as accurate as possible, we hope you enjoy reading our small encyclopedia Defining LGBTQPAD.
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Defining LGBTQPAD
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Lesbians
Lesbian A Lesbian is a female homosexual:
A female who experiences romantic love or sexual attraction to other females. The term lesbian is also used to express sexual identity or sexual behavior regardless of sexual orientation, or as an adjective to characterize or associate nouns with female homosexuality or same-sex attraction.
sexual men in some societies. Instead, lesbian relationships have often been regarded as harmless and incomparable to heterosexual ones unless the participants attempted to assert privileges traditionally enjoyed by men. As a result, little in history was documented to give an accurate description of how female homosexuality is expressed.
The concept of “lesbian�, to differentiate women with a shared sexual orientation, is a 20th-century construct. Throughout history, women have not had the same freedom or independence to pursue homosexual relationships as men, but neither have they met the same harsh punishment as homo-
Women in homosexual relationships responded to this designation either by hiding their personal lives or accepting the label of outcast and creating a subculture and identity that developed in Europe and the United States. Following World War II, during a period of social repression when governments ac-
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Defining LGBTQPAD tively persecuted homosexuals, women developed networks to socialize with and educate each other. Greater economic and social freedom allowed them gradually to be able to determine how they could form relationships and families. With second wave feminism and growth of scholarship in women’s history and sexuality in the 20th century, the definition of lesbian broadened, sparking a debate about sexual desire as the major component to define what a lesbian is.
face concerns separate from men. Lesbians may encounter distinct physical or mental health concerns arising from discrimination, prejudice, and minority stress. Political conditions and social attitudes also affect the formation of lesbian relationships and families in open.
Some women who engage in same-sex sexual activity may reject not only identifying as lesbians but as bisexual as well, while other women’s Self-identification as lesbian may not align with their sexual orientation or sexual behavior; sexual identity is not necessarily the same as one’s sexual orientation or sexual behavior, due to various reasons, such as the fear of identifying their sexual orientation in a homophobic setting.
Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to other women.
Portrayals of lesbians in the media suggest that society at large has been simultaneously intrigued and threatened by women who challenge feminine gender roles, and fascinated and appalled with women who are romantically involved with other women. Women who adopt a lesbian identity share experiences that form an outlook similar to an ethnic identity: as homosexuals, they are unified by the heterosexist discrimination and potential rejection they face from their families, friends, and others as a result of homophobia. As women, they
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Gays
Gay Today I found out how ‘gay’ came to mean ‘homosexual’.
Often euphemistically: Of loose and immoral life”. This is an extension of one of the original meanings of “carefree”, meaning more or less uninhibited.
The word “gay” seems to have its origins around the 12th century in England, derived from the Old French word ‘gai’, which in turn was probably derived from a Germanic word, though that isn’t completely known. The word’s original meaning meant something to the effect of “joyful”, “carefree”, “full of mirth”, or “bright and showy”.
Fast-forward to the 19th century and the word gay referred to a woman who was a prostitute and a gay man was someone who slept with a lot of women (ironically enough), often prostitutes. Also at this time, the phrase “gay it” meant to have sex.
However, around the early parts of the 17th century, the word began to beassociated with immorality. By the mid 17th century, according to an Oxford dictionary definition at the time, the meaning of the word had changed to mean “addicted to pleasures and dissipations.
With these new definitions, the original meanings of “carefree”, “joyful”, and “bright and showy” were still around so the word was not exclusively used to refer to prostitutes or a promiscuous man. Those were
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Defining LGBTQPAD just accepted definitions, along with the other meanings of the word. Around the 1920s and 1930s, however, the word started to have a new meaning. In terms of the sexual meaning of the word, a “gay man” no longer just meant a man who had sex with a lot of women, but now started to refer to men who had sex with other men. There was also another word “gey cat” at this time which meant a homosexual boy.
Gay: A man who is attracted to other men.
By 1955, the word gay now officially acquired the new added definition of meaning homosexual males. Gay men themselves seem to have been behind the driving thrust for this new definition as they felt (and many still do), that “homosexual” is much too clinical, sounding like a disorder. As such, it was common amongst the gay community to refer to one another as “gay” decades before this was a commonly known definition (reportedly homosexual men were calling one another gay as early as the 1920s). At this time, homosexual women were referred to as lesbians, not gay. Although women could still be called gay if they were prostitutes as that meaning had not yet 100% disappeared. Since then, gay, meaning homosexual male, has steadily driven out all the other definitions that have floated about through time and of course also has gradually begun supplementing the word ‘lesbian’ as referring to women who are homosexual.
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Defining LGBTQPAD
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Bisexual
Bisexual What is bisexuality? Bisexuality can be a confusing topic because people define it in many different ways.What is bisexuality? The answer varies, depending upon who is asking the question. Is bisexuality defined by identity, behavior, attractions – or some combination of these? Where does bisexuality begin and end? Human sexuality is sometimes seen as a continuum, with same-sex attractions on one end and other-sex attractions on the other. Bisexuality, then, must fall somewhere in the middle. But where? Does bisexuality refer only to the middle point, or 50/50 attraction? Or does bisexuality encompass all the space between the extremes? How much bisexual attraction and/or behavior does it take to make a person bisexual?
Is the concept meaningful across cultures, and does it always have the same meaning? Some cultures may not use the word bisexual, and even in those that do, many people may be unfamiliar with or misunderstand it. Does bisexuality encompass people whose attractions change over time? If you are once bisexual are you always bisexual? If you are in a long-term relationship, do you stop being bisexual and “become” gay or straight? And for each of these questions, who gets to decide? When talking about bisexuality, it is sometimes useful to distinguish between behavior and identity. Someone who has had sexual experience with or even just attractions to people of
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Defining LGBTQPAD more than one sex can be described as bisexual, but may not identify that way. Likewise, one can identify as bisexual regardless of sexual experience. Furthermore, identities can change over time. Definitions can change too.
reality the difference between sex and gender is far more complicated, I find useful the expression, “Sex is between your legs; gender is between your ears.” In real people, sex and gender do not always correspond. I also learned that sex and gender each exist on a continuum; thus there are more than two sexes, and more than two genders. A male-bodied person can identify as a woman, or as a combination of man and woman; and a female-bodied person can identify as a man, or as a combination of man and woman. And some people’s bodies do not fit their cultures’ standards of male or female.
Here’s Robyn Ochs’s story: My own understanding of bisexuality has changed dramatically over the years. I used to define bisexuality as “the potential to be attracted to people regardless of their gender.” Then one day I was chatting with my friend Alberto, who, like me, identifies as bisexual. I tossed out my definition and he looked at me like I was crazy.
What does all this mean for our understanding of bisexuality?
“Regardless of gender? No, no, no! There’s no ‘regardless’ about it for me. For me it’s all about difference. I’m attracted to cheerleaders and football players. It’s precisely the extremes of difference that attract me.” Alberto is attracted to the poles, to super-masculine guys and super-feminine girls. Others are attracted to masculinity and/or femininity, regardless of a person’s sex. Some of us who identify as bisexual are in fact “gender-blind.”
Dictionary definitions of bisexuality that rely on an idea of “both sexes” are inadequate. As human beings, we live and love in a world that is far more complicated than these narrow ideas allow. Our attractions do not stay within tidy borders, and our understanding of bisexuality must adapt to this. Every one of us must make sense of our own experiences and assign to them our own meaning.
For others it’s androgyny or the blending of genders that compels. Then, to complicate things further, I have learned a lot from my intersex, genderqueer and transgender friends. I now realize that I had been confusing gender with biological sex and that the two are not synonymous. Though in
Here’s my current definition of bisexuality. “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge in myself the potential to be attracted, romantically and/or sexually, to people of more than one sex, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”
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Bisexual Bisexual: An individual who is attracted to both genders.
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Defining LGBTQPAD
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Transexual
Transexual Transsexual
people experience a gender identity that is inconsistent with, or not culturally associated with, their assigned sex, and desire to permanently transition to the gender with which they identify, usually seeking medical assistance (including hormone replacement therapy and other sex reassignment therapies) to help them align their body with their identified sex or gender.
Since transsexuality is caused by hormonal alteration of the nervous system of developing fetuses, and occurs in perhaps all mammalian species, it would be reasonable to infer that it has been around for a very long time. Indeed, since birth defects in general are just part of nature, it would be unthinkable to imagine an era of Man devoid of transsexuals.We have always been, and from time to time, history has recorded that fact.
Transsexual is generally considered a subset of transgender, but some transsexual people reject the label of transgender. A medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria can be made if a person expresses a desire to live and be accepted as a member of their identified sex, or if a person experiences impaired functioning or distress as a result of their gender identity
The only clues we have of paleolithic transsexuals would be by considering the societies of aboriginal peoples still living with stone age technologies. The few left remaining on the earth, in the rain forests of South America, or the remaining unspoiled lands of Africa, all
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Defining LGBTQPAD have reverential positions for the transsexuals that are born to them. In such societies, Transsexuals are considered magical, kin to the gods or spirits, and possessed of shamanic powers.
thy eunuchs. Yet in other circumstances, such as social situations, they are accorded the status of true females. What would be the situation after corrective surgery has been performed and the sex anatomy now resembles that of a woman? Is the “new woman” still a homosexual man? “Yes,” if pedantry and technicalities prevail. “No” if reason and common sense are applied and if the respective patient is treated as an individual and not as a rubber stamp”
Every society in history has had some name, role or way of relating to the transsexual, from ancient Canaan and Turkey to India, even to the present day. Examples For instance, in ancient Rome existed the ‘Gallae’, Phrygian worshipers of the Goddess Cybele. Once decided on their choice of gender and religion, physically male Gallae ran through the streets and threw their own severed genitalia into open doorways, as a ritualistic act. The household receiving these remains considered them a great blessing. In return, the household would nurse the Gallae back to health. The Gallae then ceremoniously received female clothes, and assumed a female identity. Commonly, they would be dressed as brides, or in other splendid clothing.
Transsexuals suffer because they are trapped in a body of the wrong sex.This hurts so much that they are driven to fix that problem, or die trying.Transsexuality begins in the womb and occurs in many animals besides man.Transsexuality and homosexuality seem to share a common prenatal causality, but are not the same thing. Transsexuality is sometimes associated with things it is not really related to, such as crossdressing, for social or political reasons. Transsexual: a person whose sexual identification is entirely with the opposite sex.
In India, ritual practices for transsexual individuals continue to the present day. Called Hijiras, this sect also worship a Goddess, and undergo a primitive sort of sex reassignment surgery. The Hijiras are treated in a rather hypocritical fashion within Indian society however, in that they are both despised and revered at the same time. Hijiras often are paid to attend a bless weddings, and to act as spiritual and social advisors, but are also shunned as less than wor-
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Transexual
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Defining LGBTQPAD
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Queer
Queer What is queer? Think of queer as an umbrella term. (word or phrase that covers a broad interval or set of functions or items that all fall under a single commoncategory)
quite fit in to societal norms and wants to bond with a community over that. “I like to identify as queer because I like the way in which it is a much more inclusive identity than identifying as a lesbian. I find that I am more likely to identify as queer when I am in group with other LGBT individuals because then I like to focus on what we all have in common in terms of our identities rather than what is different whereas if I am with straight individuals then the focus is going to be on what is different whether I identify as queer or lesbian so then I normally opt for the descriptive identity of lesbian.” – Lisa
It includes anyone who: • wants to identify as queer • who feels somehow outside of the societal norms in regards to gender or sexuality. This, therefore, could include the person who highly values queer theory concepts and would rather not identify with any particular label, the gender fluid bisexual, the gender fluid heterosexual, the questioning LGBT person, and the person who just doesn’t feel like they
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Defining LGBTQPAD It is a fluid label as opposed to a solid label, one that only requires us to acknowledge that we’re different without specifying how or in what context. It is also a concise word that people may use if they do not feel like shifting their language along with their ever-evolving gender, politics and/or sexuality. It may also be an easier and more concise identity for some people to use if and when people ask, because they do.
to work on shifting the way you think about how people identify. Whether you personally like the word or not, desire to make it part of your personal repertoire or not, please remember to respect the identity a person chooses for themselves. To know how they like to be identified, by people in and outside of the community, remember to ask. Originally meaning “strange” or “peculiar”, queer came to be deployed pejoratively against those with same-sex desires or relationships in the late-19th century. Beginning in the late-1980s, queer scholars and activists began to reclaim the word to establish community and assert a politicized identity distinct from the gay political identity. Queer identities may be adopted by those who reject traditional gender identities and seek a broader, less conformist, and deliberately ambiguous alternative to the label LGBT.
Danielle Flink says, “When I first came out, I identified as bisexual. Over time, I realized that I really was way more attracted to women so I identified as a lesbian. Then the person I fell in love with came out to me as transgender. I wasn’t sure where I fit anymore. I was confused. I asked myself a million questions before I came to a self-understanding that my sexual orientation wasn’t fixed. It never had been. Even before I placed a label on myself upon coming out, I didn’t feel like I belonged in any “group” or “box” or “label” that society currently had to offer me. So then I came across queer. At the time, I was pretty gender nonconforming as well so it really seemed to fit everything I wanted into a word that I could tell people when they asked.”
Beginning in the late-1980s, the label queer began to be reclaimed from its pejorative use as a neutral or positive self-identifier by LGBT people. An early example of this usage by the LGBT community was by an organisation called Queer Nation, which was formed in March 1990 and circulated an anonymous flier at the New York Gay Pride Parade in June 1990 titled “Queers Read This”.The flier included a passage explaining their adoption of the label queer:
Of course, understanding why a word is used does not always make it easier for people to use, or even like. However, while understanding that this word may be very difficult and uncomfortable for some, we encourage you to be open and willing to ask questions in order
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Queer
“Ah, do we really have to use that word? It’s trouble. Every gay person has his or her own take on it. For some it means strange and eccentric and kind of mysterious And for others “queer” conjures up those awful memories of adolescent suffering Well, yes, “gay” is great. It has its place. But when a lot of lesbians and gay men wake up in the morning we feel angry and disgusted, not gay. So we’ve chosen to call ourselves queer. Using “queer” is a way of reminding us how we are perceived by the rest of the world. ”
Queer: is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities that are not heterosexual or cisgender.
Queer people, particularly queer people of color, began to reclaim queer in response to a perceived shift in the gay community toward liberal conservatism, catalyzed by Andrew Sullivan’s 1989 piece in The New Republic, titled Here Comes the Groom: The Conservative Case for Gay Marriage. The queer movement rejected causes viewed as assimilationist, such as marriage, military inclusion and adoption. The term may be capitalized when referring to an identity or community, rather than as an objective fact describing a person’s desires, in a construction similar to the capitalized use of Deaf. The “hip and iconic abbreviation ‘Q’” has developed from common usage of queer, particularly in the United States.
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Defining LGBTQPAD
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Pansexual
ansexual What is Pansexual? Pansexual is a term that has been growing in recent years as a way for people to better identify their sexual identity. The word Pansexual is derived from the Greek prefix pan, meaning “all”.The term is reflective of those who feel they are sexually/emotionally/spiritually capable of falling in love with all genders.
How is Pansexuality different from Polysexuality? Pan means “all” while Poly means “many” and so there are some similar overlaps, a Polysexual may be attracted to some gender variant people but not have the capability or desire to be with some others. Pansexuals are open to any person regardless of their gender or sex.Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual.There is some overlap when defining bisexual and pansexual orientation; however, there are important differences between the two identities.
Do Pansexuals like everyone? Pansexual identified people have the physical/emotional/spiritual capability of falling in love or being with someone regardless of their gender. This doesn’t mean they like everyone, and some Pansexuals do have physical preferences. The identity is used merely to express the openness and fluidity to people of all genders.
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Defining LGBTQPAD “DifferenceBetween.Net” states that these differences are: The differences between the two sexual identities are undermined by the fact that some people who consider themselves pansexual identify themselves as bisexual out of convenience, as it’s a more widely known sexual identity. In addition, some people who consider themselves bisexual may be open to dating someone who falls outside the gender binary.
Bisexual people are attracted sexually and romantically to both males and females, and are capable of engaging in sensual relationships with either sex. Despite being able to form meaningful, lasting relationships with both sexes, bisexual individuals may, to a small or large degree, have a preference for one sex over the other. Similarly, pansexual people may be sexually attracted to individuals who identify as male or female; however, they may also be attracted to those who identify as intersex, third-gender, androgynous, transsexual, or the many other sexual and gender identities.
Self-perception, rather than objective sexuality, determines which sexual identity an individual chooses to embrace. Simply being attracted to both biological sexes does not mean one considers oneself bisexual. In fact, many people at one time or another will have some romantic or sexual experience or feelings toward each sex, though, most would not embrace the bisexual label. Similarly, being attracted to people who embrace varied identities does not mean that individual will identify as pansexual.
The latter distinction is what draws the line between pansexuality and bisexuality. People who self-identify as pansexual do so with purpose, to express that they are able to be attracted to various gender and sexual identities, whether they fall within the gender binary or not.
There are few organizations which are geared solely for those who identify as pansexual, and many bisexual organizations include alternative identities such as: pansexual, omnisexual, multisexual, and other non-monosexualities, so representation and visibility likely also play a part in how people choose to self-identify.
Recognition of the existence of different genders and sexualities is a major aspect of pansexual identity. Pansexual people are bisexual, in-fact; however, bisexuality does not place the same emphasis on sexual and gender identity awareness, but more simply indicates attraction to the two (generally accepted) biological sexes.
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Pansexual
There is some controversy over the two labels, as some in the bisexual community feel as though the pansexual label is a form of bisexual erasure and that the bisexual identity is already inclusive of those who have an attraction to those who fall anywhere along the gender continuum and outside of it. There is a feeling that pansexual people are simply avoiding the bisexual label due to the stigmas associated with it (that bisexual people are simply greedy and promiscuous, and spread disease among both the heterosexual and homosexual communities). Conversely, many in the pansexual community feel as though these beliefs are forms of prejudice and pansexual erasure.
Pansexuals: they have the capability of attraction to others regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. A pansexual could be open to someone who is male, female, transgender, intersex, or agendered/genderqueer.
Not only those who identify as biologically male or female identify as bisexual, the gender identities of people who use and feel comfortable with this label vary. The pansexual label; however, is more accommodating for those, regardless of their own gender identity, who sometimes do not fit neatly into the male or female genders, for example, when people who are engaged in a homosexual or heterosexual relationship and their partner transitions from maleto-female or female-to-male. Although, some choose to take on change their sexual identity according to the gender to which their partner has transitioned, an increasing number have chosen to self-label as pansexual, queer, or one of the other non-monosexual identities.
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Defining LGBTQPAD
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Asexual
Asexual What is Asexual?
An asexual person is simply someone who does not experience sexual attraction. That’s all there is to it. Aces can be any sex or gender or age or ethnic background or body type, can be rich or poor, can wear any clothing style, and can be any religion or political affiliation.
•Asexuality is not a choice. •Asexuality is not a hormone imbalance. •Asexuality is not a fear of sex or relationships.
Asexuality isn’t any of those things.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation, like homosexuality or heterosexuality. And like being straight or being gay, it’s about what someone feels, not what someone does. Dating, having sex, masturbating, falling in love, getting married, or having children do not conflict with asexuality in any way. There are many reasons why an asexual person might do these things that do not require sexual attraction to be present.
In particular:
•Asexuality is not an abstinence pledge. •Asexuality is not a synonym for celibacy. •Asexuality is not a gender identity. •Asexuality is not a disorder.
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Defining LGBTQPAD Experiencing arousal or orgasm also do not conflict with asexuality.
The Concept of Love
Some Do, Some Don’t
Along with a sexual orientation, people have what’s called a romantic or affectional orientation that describes who that person might be romantically attracted to. In many people, the sexual and romantic orientations are aligned, so people tend not to think about them being separate concepts. It is not uncommon for asexuals to experience romantic attraction.
Many questions people have about asexuality can be answered with the same phrase: “Some Do, Some Don’t.” Do asexuals date? Some do, some don’t. Do asexuals fall in love? Some do, some don’t. Do asexuals have sex? Some do, some don’t. Do asexuals masturbate? Some do, some don’t. Do asexuals like pepperoni pizza? Some do, some don’t. We are all individuals, with our own individual preferences and personalities, and it is generally impossible to make blanket statements about us.
Romantic orientations are given names that parallel sexual orientations. For instance, a heteroromantic person is someone who experiences romantic attraction toward a different gender, homoromantic toward the same gender, and so on. A significant number of asexuals also identify as aromantic, which means that they do not experience romantic attraction. Separating romantic and sexual attraction is not strictly limited to asexual people, however. For instance, it is possible for someone to be an aromantic heterosexual, or any other combination.
The Gray Areas Some people feel that they are “almost asexual” or “asexual with an exception”.That is, they strongly identify with being asexual, except for a few limited or infrequent experiences of sexual attraction.Gray-asexual people fall in between asexuality and non-asexuality. In some cases, they experience sexual attraction only rarely. In others, they’re unsure if they’ve experienced it or don’t feel that they quite fit the definition of asexual in some way. Demisexual people are only capable of feeling sexual attraction after developing a strong emotional bond with someone. Demisexuality and gray-asexuality fall within what’s called the “asexual spectrum”.
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Asexual
How Can I Tell? If you want to know if you’re asexual, ask yourself the following questions: •Are you generally disinterested in sex? •Is your interest in sex more scientific than emotional? •Do you feel left out or confused when others discuss sex?
Asexuality: An asexual person is someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction towards others, regardless of gender. The general estimate is that 1% of the world’s population is asexual; this is based on a survey carried out by Kinsey and is not held to be conclusive.
•Have you ever had to pretend to be interested in someone in order to fit in? •If you had sex, did you think it was dull or boring, and not the amazing experience other people made it out to be? •Have you ever felt “broken” because you don’t experience sexual feelings like those around you? •Have you ever gone out with someone or had sex because you felt “that’s what you’re supposed to do?”
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Defining LGBTQPAD
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Demisexual
Demisexual
What is Demisexuality? Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond. Most demisexuals feel sexual attraction rarely compared to the general population, and some have little to no interest in sexual activity. Keep reading to understand more about this orientation.
to close friends or romantic partners. Other components may include familiarity with the person and knowledge about them (ex: learning about aspects of their personality). However, forming an emotional bond doesn’t guarantee that sexual attraction will happen. It is just a prerequisite for it to occur at all. The length of time required to develop an emotional bond may vary. For some demisexuals, it’s after several years of being close friends with someone, and for others, it might be a short but intense experience, such as traveling abroad for a week with them.
What is the emotional bond demisexuals need for sexual attraction? It varies based on the demisexual’s personal experiences and is slightly different for everyone. Emotional intimacy is a main component, usually, so some demisexuals find themselves attracted
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Defining LGBTQPAD
Isn’t it normal to only want sex after getting to know someone? but some asexuals use the latter definition. Both are valid and accepted.) Demisexuals are considered to be on the asexual spectrum, meaning they are closely aligned with asexuality, but not quite asexual. The asexual spectrum has asexuality on one end and non-asexuality on the other end.
There’s a difference between feeling sexually attracted to someone and wanting to have sex with them. Sexual attraction isn’t something you can control—either you have sexual feelings for someone or not. You can’t force it to happen and you can’t force it to go away, so you don’t have a choice in the matter. Sexual behavior, on the other hand, is something you can choose to participate in, or not.
Demisexuals are considered part of the asexual community because for the most part, they don’t feel sexual attraction. Many demisexuals are only attracted to a handful of people in their lifetimes, or even just one person. Many demisexuals are also uninterested in sex, so they have a lot in common with asexuals.
Most people on the non-asexual side of the spectrum feel sexual attraction regardless of whether or not they have a close emotional bond with someone. They may have sexual feelings for attractive people on the street, classmates or coworkers they’ve barely spoken to, or celebrities. However, they may choose to wait to have sex for a variety of reasons: it might not be feasible or appropriate, they want to make sure the person is respectful and kind, it’s against their religious beliefs, they only want to have sex in a romantic relationship, etc. The difference is that demisexuals don’t start out with these sexual feelings at all
The thing that makes them different from asexuals is that they are capable of feeling sexual attraction, it’s just that it only happens after they form a deep emotional bond with someone.
How do demisexuals feel about sex? According to the 2014 AVEN Census, two thirds of demisexuals are uninterested in and/or repulsed by sex. However, there is a significant portion that enjoys it. Demisexuals have a variety of feelings about sex and other sexual activities, like masturbating and watching porn, so it’s hard to make statements about the group as a whole. All feelings about sex are valid in a demisexual iden-
How does demisexuality relate to asexuality and the asexual spectrum? Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which one feels little to no sexual attraction or interest in sex (the former definition is more widely used,
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Demisexual
tity: the only thing that defines demisexuals is that they only feel sexual attraction after forming an emotional bond.
en’t interested in sex, they don’t find people sexually attractive, or both. When the conversation turns to hot celebrities, for example, demisexuals may feel confused, and wonder what it is their friends see and feel. They wonder if they will eventually feel it too, and some even end up feeling “broken.” Knowing that there are others like them helps demisexuals feel less alone.
Whether or not they feel sexually attracted to someone or not, they can choose to have sex too.They might want to have sex in order to get pregnant, to see what it’s like, or some other reason. Why do demisexuals need a label? The label helps demisexuals form a sense of community and a stronger sense of self. Through this label, they learn that there are others like them out there, and that there’s a community to support them. In this community, demisexuals can talk to others who share the same experiences, share advice on navigating a very sexual world, and find emotional support. The community unites around this label, which helps its members feel more secure in their identities.
Demisexual: a person who feels
sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond.
Many demisexuals grow up feeling different from those around them. Most people have their first instance of sexual attraction in their preteen years. From that point on, sex becomes a topic of curiosity and interest for them, and they eventually look forward to pursuing it. For children and teens in school, there is a lot of talk about sex—what it’s like, what it’ll be like, etc. This becomes more prevalent as they approach college and early adulthood. Demisexuals often feel alienated by these conversations because they ar-
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Defining LGBTQPAD References: http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/02/how-gay-came-to-mean-homosexual/ http://www.biresource.net/whatis.shtml http://www.transsexual.org/What.html http://www.thefreedictionary.com/transexual https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umbrella_term https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer https://community.pflag.org/abouttheq http://www.liberateyourself.co.uk/lgbtq/what-is-lgbtq/ http://demisexuality.org/articles/what-is-demisexuality/ http://www.stop-homophobia.com/pansexuality.htm http://www.whatisasexuality.com/intro/
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