Copy Writing & Editing Portfolio

Portfolio: Copy Writing & Editing Miranda Rabuck

Some would say that I have had an intimate relationship with books since birth; named after Prospero’s daughter in Shakespeare’s play The Tempest, I was almost predestined to immerse myself in the written word. It is no surprise that after a lifetime of reading, writing, reading about writing, and writing about writing, I have chosen to pursue a career in publishing. Over the past five years, I have prepared for that career as a graduate student, intern, and freelance editor and publicist. This portfolio is a collection of the work I have completed for classes, internships, and freelance jobs. On an individual level, these projects illustrate the skills I have developed and exemplify the quality of work I strive to maintain. As a whole, they tell a story about my personal philosophy and goals as a writer and editor. I hope this portfolio demonstrates not only my competence as a publishing professional, but also my dedication to and passion for the written word.

Copy The following are blog posts and other promotional materials I have written for various book-related projects. A description of each project is written in italics beneath the title of the corresponding piece. To see the published versions of my blog posts, please browse the links below. http://hawthornebooks.com/blog/article/interview-with-monica-wesolowska-bymiranda-rabuck http://hawthornebooks.com/blog/article/literary-resolutions-for-2013-by-mirandarabuck http://ooligan.pdx.edu/beyond-start-to-finish/ http://ooligan.pdx.edu/assembling-a-portfolio/ http://www.cogitatestudios.com/write-your-own-adventure/ http://www.cogitatestudios.com/myth-busting-the-publishing-industry/ http://www.cogitatestudios.com/writing-contest-round-up/

Interview with Monica Wesolowska [I wrote and published this interview while serving as the Publicity Assistant for Monica Wesolowska’s book Holding Silvan: A Brief Life, which was published by Hawthorne Books.

The interview was released a week prior to the book’s release in order to generate buzz around the author and title.]

Monica Wesolowska considered herself solely a fiction writer before she gave birth to her first child, a son named Silvan. When Silvan was given the grimmest of prognoses shortly after his birth, she began chronicling their brief time together as mother and child. The result is Holding Silvan: A Brief Life, Monica’s first memoir, which will be published in April by Hawthorne Books. In Holding Silvan, Monica explores what she calls “the love and ethics behind her choice to let her newborn son die.” Much like Silvan, the book is unforgettable and infused with love.

Miranda Rabuck: Hi Monica. Thank you for speaking with me and letting me showcase your stunning memoir, Holding Silvan: A Brief Life. This is your first book and it’s deeply personal and heartbreaking. Did it take a long time for you to tell this story?

Monica Wesolowska: It depends what you mean by “tell.” I began “telling” this story to myself from the day Silvan was born. I literally would repeat inside my head, “I have a son. I have a son who is dying, ” as if I just needed the right words to make what was happening understandable. After he died, I found myself obsessively telling the story to others. Over the years, the need to mention him lessened. And then, just about the time I was comfortable not mentioning him to everyone anymore, the need to write the story seized me. Once that happened, the process was incredibly swift. I wrote the rough draft in three months. That was eight years from his birth. And now, on the 10th anniversary of his life, the book is coming out.

MR: You started a diary shortly after Silvan was born. Did you begin recording your

time with Silvan because you knew a book would come from this experience, or was there another reason? What was it like to go through your diaries as you wrote the book? Did the act of recording the details of Silvan’s life—and death—help you?

MW: I began keeping a diary while Silvan was alive because a writer friend reminded me that, as a writer, this was what I needed to do. At first, I was horrified at her suggestion. Nothing seemed as important as holding him. But soon I realized that I was already narrating in my head and so I began to write it all down. I tried to reread those diaries several times over the years but they always seemed too awful. They seemed raw, angry, maudlin. But something happened on year eight. My editor’s mind recognized the love in them. It was such a gift. There were so many little things I didn’t remember about Silvan, about holding him and holding him. Of course, it was hard going back to that painful time, but very affirming. If I hadn’t been a writer, I don’t know how I would’ve survived that time.

MR: Holding Silvan, for the most part, shatters the mythology of miracles that our culture seems to thrive on. So many news stories, books, and movies revolve around miracles, whereas in your book, there simply is no hope for one. Did you have any doubts about the marketability of a book in which miracles don’t exist? Did you have a specific audience in mind when you began writing this memoir? Was there a specific type of person that you wanted to reach?

MW: I wrote this book first for myself. I wanted to spend time with Silvan again and understand what we did for him and how we were able to go on without him. I would wake up each morning with the distinct sense that I would learn something from whatever I wrote that day. As the writing continued going well, I also got excited that the people in my life would have a chance to see what it was like to lose Silvan from my perspective. But I also knew that there was a larger story here. As a culture, we love stories about people surviving. But I also sensed a hunger for stories about how to die well. If I could help others stay present in the face of death, I thought I would be doing

a good deed. So I wasn’t thinking about marketability per se. But I was curious to know if I could write a compelling story that did not end in a miracle. I felt the need for that story, for that kind of truth.

MR: Why do you think our culture holds such stigma around death and discussing it?

MW: It seems to me that in a culture that puts such emphasis on “success,” we ignore that we can’t get everything we want. Though the Beatles may have insisted, “Money can’t buy you love,” we are bombarded with the message everywhere that money provides the foundation for everything else. When someone gets a fatal diagnosis, the impulse is to go and get a “better doctor.” Certainly I think that everyone should get a second opinion. And not everyone gets equal healthcare in this country. And doctors are human and can make terrible mistakes. But at the same time, we spend so much time thinking about buying our way up, we have little time left to talk about things over which we have almost no control.

MR: Early in the book, you mention that your husband, David, didn’t think you had what it takes to be a mother, yet throughout Silvan’s life, you are the image of maternity and motherly love. Did you, too, have doubts about becoming a mother? How did being Silvan’s mother change your perception of motherhood?

MW: Thanks for the compliment. I’m lucky enough to have a wonderfully generous and supportive mother myself. A selfless mother. So my standards of motherhood are high. My mother raised four kids and worked full-time and I remember even as a kid being amazed that she could get up in the morning, make us breakfast, pack a picnic lunch, take us to the beach all day, and then come home and start making dinner while the rest of us showered or lay around on the couch. Then she would fold laundry after dinner, read us a book, grade papers once we were in bed. As the oldest of four, I also had plenty of experience caring for children and went straight into earning my high school and college money from babysitting. I understood that caring for children took

more than we know we can give. So I didn’t really doubt my ability so much as my desire. I hesitated because I like time for myself. I thought that if I “made it” as a writer before becoming a mother, then I could justify that time. But once I took the plunge and got pregnant (yes, before I’d “made” it as a writer), I was really taken aback that David thought I might not be prepared. I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant if I weren’t. So I wouldn’t say that being Silvan’s mother changed my perception of the difficulties of motherhood. In fact, I’d even seen my mother grieve the death of a son, so I understood the depths of pain into which parenthood can sink us. What I didn’t expect was the intensity of the joy. Thank goodness for the joy. Even as Silvan was dying, I was grateful for the joy I felt in loving him.

MR: Most of Silvan’s life, as well as your book, takes place in a hospital, and doctors and medical professionals play a large role. Did you learn anything about modern medicine from this experience?

MW: What most struck me in my medical research for this book was the fact that medicine is so advanced now in the 21st century that most people will no longer die of their diseases but of decisions to stop treatment for a disease. Though our choice for Silvan was extreme, most people will have to make a choice at some point that will lead to their own or someone else’s death. That being the case, we all really do need to think more about the line between a good life and a good death and what feels ethically correct for us.

MR: One aspect of Holding Silvan that really stuck with me was the importance of community. In the book, your decision to stop feeding Silvan was based on the realization that Silvan, as well as you and your husband, were part of a larger community. The title of your book reflects this idea; instead of insulating Silvan, you wanted him to be held by as many people as possible. How did holding Silvan and having him held by friends and family shape the grieving process for you?

MW: The strange thing about grieving for a newborn is that newborns are so unformed that you really don’t know who they are beyond their soft skin and sweet smells.

Though he shared our genes, Silvan looked like a lot of other people’s newborns. So, yes, we let anyone who wanted come to the hospital and hold him – even people we barely knew – and people told us that, though they thought it would be terribly hard, in fact the experience was calming. We forget in modern America that losing children used to be a part of reproduction. And that people had ways of dealing with it. Having him held was important to me because I thought he would be comforted by it. But I also felt comforted by it. It made Silvan seem larger than himself, and it connected me to bereaved parents throughout time. In the grand scheme of the world, a single life is brief, and Silvan’s life was one of the briefest, but by holding him I felt that we honored him as part of the larger fabric of all our lives.

MR: Although you no longer consider yourself Catholic, religion is ever-present in Holding Silvan. Does religion have a place in your life, or is it something you’ve always tried to escape?

MW: Aside from those first few months in college when I stopped going to church on Sundays and felt tremendously free, I’ve never thought of myself as trying to escape religion. On the contrary, by no longer going to church I’ve actually had to spend more time finding a way to make sense of this life. For me, that’s what religion is, a narrative that makes sense of life. Now that I have children, I worry that this personal definition of religion is not enough to give my children the morality that a religious community can, in the best of scenarios, provide. So religion is something I still think about. And I know that many of my friends also think about it because most of us are without organized religion but still we want to make a place in our children’s lives for thinking about and doing good for others.

MR: You’ve taught fiction writing at UC Berkeley for over ten years now, yet your first book is a memoir. How did your background in fiction shape Holding Silvan?

MW: Earlier I said that I wrote the rough draft of this book in three months. What I didn’t say is that I also probably prepared to write it with 20 years of fiction writing. I was literally struggling mid-sentence with a novel when I felt myself ready to write this memoir. I’d been working with a character in my novel who lost a baby, but I couldn’t touch the depths of her grief. Trusting the creative process, I stopped mid-sentence and began to tell the “real” story. Once I allowed the main character to be me, the story flowed. Sure, the years I’d spent learning how to craft scenes helped. I had an instinctive sense of where I needed a little dialogue and where I needed a little description. I could recognize patterns of tension and relief that could move the story along. I understood the shape of a book. Equally important, though, was my ability to recognize that the time was right. My own grief was no longer overwhelming to me.

Because of that, I could write in a way that did not overwhelm the reader. There was room in my prose for love. And believe me, I was very relieved to see that love shining through my own words.

MR: What can we look forward to seeing next from you?

MW: Ah, the dreaded question. Thank you for phrasing it in such a positive way. Part of me is working hard to suppress that little voice that says, “What could be more important than writing about Silvan?” It’s a double whammy: as a mother, I feel bad turning away from Silvan; and as a writer, I fear not having another book in me.

Fortunately, after struggling for a few months to return to fiction, I’ve accepted that the floodgates of memoir are open for me right now and I’m working on a series of short pieces that seem to be connecting into something larger. But I’m a big believer in letting things gestate before they are exposed, so I’m not going to say more except to add that I’m delighted to have a reader like you who is “looking forward” to seeing more from me.

Literary Resolutions for 2013 [I wrote this blog post as the Publicity Assistant at Hawthorne Books in order to help generate timely content for the press’ blog.]

With the start of a new year, many of us will make big resolutions, like running a 5K or stop eating meat. Although a fraction of us actually will complete a race or become strict vegetarians by 2014, these kinds of drastic New Years resolutions can instill better habits and be the catalyst for the kind of long-lasting changes that resolutions are meant to inspire. Is writing a novel or reading a hundred books on your to-do list for 2013? Try starting small. Like jumping into a 5K without any training, writing a full-length novel without any preparation can be a recipe for disaster. If your New Years resolutions are in any way literary, try these mini-resolutions.

Resolve to buy local: A great way to read more books in 2013 is to start shopping at the local, independently run bookstores in your community. Supporting independent bookstores benefits everyone in the end. It keeps your money in your community, creates jobs in your neighborhood, and maintains the kind of diversity that is essential in helping you discover new books and authors. IndieBound has a convenient Indie Store Finder to help you find the independent bookstores closest to you, so there’s no excuse for not sticking to this resolution in 2013.

Resolve to get involved: Humans are social animals—we thrive when we have support from those in our community. If you have big literary goals for 2013, try getting involved in your local community of readers and writers. Most bookstores have a calendar of events and readings (Powell’s is here). If you aren’t already a member of one, consider joining a writers group. Meetup has a useful resource for finding writers group meetups in your area. Attending conferences is another great way to get involved in your literary

community—and you don’t have to wait until October for Wordstock. On February 23, Ooligan Press is putting on its annual Write to Publish conference. This year’s theme is Write What You Know and focuses on nonfiction writing, from memoir to travel and food writing to academic publishing and more. Panel discussions will take place on the author stage focusing on a range of topics, including Hawthorne Books author Lidia Yuknavitch. These panels are more than just readings or lectures; they are designed to feel like an industry mingle between professionals—author to author, publisher to publisher. Vendors in the publishing industry will also be present, making your resolution to buy local even easier. For more information on Ooligan Press’ one-day writing conference to demystify the publishing industry, visit the Write to Publish website.

Resolve to embrace change: The entire point of New Years resolutions is to change, so embracing new technology and trends is key. If you hope to become a published author in 2013, now is a great time to create a website to promote yourself as a writer. If you’ve been putting off connecting with your readers and potential readers through social media, 2013 should also be the year that you get a Twitter and Facebook account. For readers, getting involved in social media can help you achieve your goal to read more books than last year. Many publishers offer book giveaways and contests on Twitter. Goodreads is a great resource for connecting with other readers and discovering new books to check out. Whether you want to write or read more in 2013, there is a wealth of resources and possibilities online to help you achieve your goals.

Beyond Start to Finish: Interview with Eliot Treichel by Miranda Rabuck [I wrote this blog post and interview as the Marketing, Sales, and Promotions Manager at Ooligan Press. At the time, Eliot Treichel’s book Close Is Fine was a backlist title that needed a boost in sales. I organized a joint reading event by Eliot Treichel and Daniel Kine and conducted this interview with Eliot to both advertise the event and put Close Is Fine back on the map.]

Ooligan’s innovative Start to Finish pages, which document a book’s progress from its acquisition to launch, are valuable to our authors because they give them a behind-the-scenes look at the development of their books. Since many authors think of their books as their babies, the blogging that project managers do on the Start to Finish pages offers authors an opportunity to check in as their babies grow into published books. But what happens to books after they go out into the real world and can no longer be traced by Start to Finish? I talked with Eliot Treichel, whose book Close Is Fine was published in November, about a book’s life after its launch and the post-launch work done by both the author and the publisher.

Miranda Rabuck: Close Is Fine was your first published book. As an author, what did you expect your role to be during the publishing process? How did your experience differ from your expectations?

Eliot Treichel: In as much as I had any real clear expectations at all, those expectations matched my experience. I knew that there’d be editing work, and that maybe I’d get to provide some input into other areas of design, and that finally there’d be some collaboration in terms of marketing and sales. And that’s really how it played out.

Occasionally, I felt a little unsure of how big or vocal my role should be. It’s really fun to turn your book over to someone else and see what they’ll do with it, but it’s also a little terrifying. At times, I worried that I was over-expressing the terrified part.

MR: Your book passed through many departments before its launch. Which stage during the process of publishing your book were you the most heavily involved in?

Which Ooligan departments did you work closely with?

ET: I worked most closely with the book’s project managers: Rachel Hagg, Irene Costello, Mark Lindsay, Katie Allen, and Rachel Pass. All of them deserve huge props.

One of the toughest parts about the process with Ooligan is that students graduate, and that there’s some turnover between departments. It was particularly tough when Rachel Hagg and Irene graduated, not because there was any drop off in competence, or in the all-around awesomeness of the project managers, but because Rachel and Irene were my first contacts with Ooligan, and they really understood the book and championed it forward.

Beyond that, I worked closely with editing and marketing. I learned a lot during the editing process, not only about how to work together with an editing team, but also about some of my own writing ticks and miscues, and about what’s really important to me in a sentence or a story.

MR: What kind of work have you seen go into Close Is Fine after its launch?

ET: The Start to Finish project began while Close Is Fine was going through the publication process. It was very exciting-slash-comforting to be able to see the book move through its different stages. But then Close Is Fine had its launch and was released into the world, and the progress bar on the Start to Finish page reached 100%, and the last entry was posted—and I remember how I immediately had this sinking thought of, “Oh, but wait. It’s not over. It’s just starting.” On Close Is Fine’s Start to Finish page, there’s a picture of the cover that has a yellow banner reading FINISHED across it. I understand how that makes sense in terms of the project, but there is also something kind of unnerving to see the word FINISHED, with its connotations of death and termination and all that, sprawled across the cover of your book. You do not want your publisher telling you that your book is finished, however subconsciously, right after it’s

been released.

It’d be great to see the Start to Finish pages expanded—something like you’ve suggested with Beyond Start to Finish. Much of the work I’ve seen go into Close Is Fine since the launch has been with entering it into contests. There have been some other things—like setting up the reading with Daniel Kine at Sam Bond’s in Eugene—but much of the work I’m not exactly sure about. One of the cool things about Start to Finish is how open it is, and that openness and authenticity seems to fit in with Ooligan’s educational mission. Not all the posts from the Start to Finish pages are about how swimmingly everything is going. The public gets to see the struggles, the hiccups, the learning moments—all of which, ultimately, provide a much more realistic picture and understanding of the publishing process. It’d be great to carry that understanding past a book’s release date. The progress bar on each book’s Start to Finish page should go to 101% or something.

MR: Was there anything in the marketing plan for Close Is Fine that wasn’t accomplished? Was there anything not in the marketing plan that you’d still like to do?

ET: To answer the first question: I’ve been surprised at how hard it’s been to set up readings, or to even get bookstores to call or email me back concerning readings. Even places like the Midwest Bookseller’s Association—nada. In general, I would’ve liked to have done more events and to have given away more cheese in support of the launch.

I’d also wanted to do a series of readings at people’s houses, much like Stephen Elliot has done in the past, but I chickened out. Would any of those things have given the book more traction? I’m not sure.

To answer the second question: Do you know how to get in touch with Nick Offerman? I want to get a copy of the book to him, and then I want him to totally fall in love with it, especially “Stargazer,” and then I’d like to have him decide to turn “Stargazer” into a movie, one where he also plays Walters. This sounds jokey, but I sincerely mean it. If someone who knows Nick Offerman is reading this, please put a copy of Close Is Fine in his hands. If you are Nick Offerman and you are reading this,

please contact me.

MR: Has your experience with the publishing industry in any way changed what you’re currently writing?

ET: My first impulse was to say “no,” but the answer is clearly “yes.” I’m a much better writer having undergone this experience. And I now have new ideas about what you can do with your writing after it’s been written. There are lots of different ways for books to be born into this world, and that’s quite liberating. As always, though, the having been written part seems to remain the most crucial factor in the equation.

Although a book might be finished according to its Start to Finish page, our work, and the author’s, is never over. Arranging readings, entering contests, and handselling books are just a few of the things we do with authors after their books launch. Speaking of book readings—Eliot will be reading with Daniel Kine, whose book is currently 83% finished, at Sam Bond’s Garage in Eugene on Tuesday, April 30. The reading begins at 6 pm. Come by to support Ooligan authors, old and new!

Taking the Plunge: Assembling an Academic and Professional Portfolio [I wrote this blog post during my final semester in the book publishing graduate program at Portland State University in order to generate content for Ooligan Press’ blog and offer tips to other students in the program.]

In the graduate program in book publishing at Portland State University, our graduation requirements are slightly different than those of other master’s degree programs. Instead of defending a thesis, we must participate in a three-part process in order to be eligible for graduation. This includes submitting a portfolio, composing a research paper, and completing an oral exam. The entire process spans the first half of the student’s last term in the program; after a student turns in her portfolio, she is given ten business days to research and write her paper, and the oral examination follows about a month later. For many of us, these final steps toward graduation are daunting and seemingly impossible, but ultimately we prevail. I should know: after months of losing sleep over the content of my portfolio and research paper, I recently passed my oral exam.

Like many students, I feared the portfolio submission the most out of all the graduation requirements. The Ooligan workroom contains a trove of portfolios from alumni, and although they are meant to be used as examples and inspiration, I found them more intimidating than helpful. Some are heavy and dense, with several hundred pages of text. Others are impeccably designed and produced, almost indistinguishable from the books you’d find on the shelves of a bookstore. Although flipping through the pages of these portfolios made me question my abilities in making my own, it also comforted me to see that there is no single formula for a successful portfolio. After all, the content of any portfolio is entirely dependent on the experiences of the student; as someone who has focused primarily on editing and marketing, my portfolio has little in common with those of the designers in the program. And that’s okay! We all take different routes in this graduate program, and the portfolio is a reflection of our unique

choices and experiences.

Although no portfolio is identical, I found that there are certain steps one can take in order to create a portfolio that is both professional and unique. The first is creating an outline. It’s difficult to tackle the portfolio without having a clear vision of the content you want to include. I organized the projects in my portfolio by first writing down every course and internship I participated in during my time in the program.

Then, I dug through my computer as well as my physical collection of completed assignments to find my best work from every class and internship I took part in. It’s important to be picky and keep your audience in mind—you only want to include work that you’d be proud to show a prospective employer or freelance client. The goal is to convey the quality of the work you produce, not the quantity. Once I knew exactly what I wanted to include in my portfolio, I organized the projects by type; I lumped all of my marketing, editing, and sales work into separate sections. These sections and their content make up a skeleton; the next step is to build up the flesh of the portfolio.

Creating context for the content of the portfolio is almost as important as the projects themselves. For every piece I included in my portfolio, I gave a short description of the assignment and class it correlated with as well as the expectations for the project. The goal is to avoid confusion and answer any questions your reader might have when examining the work you’ve included. Your projects should tell a story of your journey in the program, and your explanations and reflections should serve as the reader’s guide. Like any story, your portfolio should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Your introduction should bring up questions that your content will attempt to answer, and your conclusion should convey a sense of finality while at the same time looking to the future. Of course, these aren’t requirements for the portfolio, but I found them to be helpful ways to look at the portfolio-making process. There is one requirement that can’t be overlooked, however: editing. Edit, edit, take a break, and then edit some more.

Although I spent a lot of time stressing over the completion of my portfolio, I’m happy with the finished product. It certainly feels good to have a collection of my best projects in one place, instead of floating around my hard drive and various drawers in

my desk. Perhaps the best part about completing my portfolio for my master’s degree, though, is that its value extends far beyond its purpose for the graduate program. It is a physical representation of the skills I have gained throughout my time in the book publishing program, so it is especially useful for prospective employers. As I apply to jobs and work on gaining more clients for my freelancing career, I have found my portfolio to be an indispensable resource. Whether you’re a student in the publishing program or not, I encourage you to stop fearing the creation of your professional or academic portfolio and give it your all. The time, effort, and stress is worth it in the end.

Press Release, Marketing Plan, and Tipsheet for The Quantum Narrative by Lidia Yuknavitch [I created the following promotional materials for Book Marketing and Promotions, which is a required class in the book publishing program at Portland State University. The assignment was to generate a press release, marketing plan, and marketing tipsheet for a book of my own creation. Inspired by Lidia Yuknavitch’s The Chronology of Water published by Hawthorne Books, I imagined a scenario in which Lidia wrote a memoir about the act of writing and published it with a larger independent press like Tin House. This materialized into a book called The Quantum Narrative. The following press release, marketing plan, and tipsheet are hypothetical promotional materials for this book.]

Tin House Books 2617 NW Thurman St. Portland, OR 97210 503-473-8663 www.tinhouse.com FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Tin House Announces Writing Contest, Prizes Include Feedback from Lidia Yuknavitch and Chuck Palahniuk Portland, OR, March 2013—To celebrate the recent release of Lidia Yuknavitch’s newest memoir, The Quantum Narrative, with an introduction by Chuck Palahniuk, Tin House is hosting a contest for nonfiction writers. Both Pacific Northwest Booksellers Award recipients, among many other honors, Yuknavitch and Palahniuk have agreed to write blurbs of praise for the three winning books. “Gaining recognition for my work is what gave me the push I needed to write and publish books,” Yuknavitch told Publishers Weekly. She and Palahniuk hope to inspire the next generation of memoir-writers with this contest.

Tin House will begin accepting submissions for the contest on March 1. To enter, send a 50-page excerpt of your personal memoir to contest@tinhouse.com. Tin House will only consider works that have not been published. The contest closes April 1 and winners will be announced in May. Three winners will have their entire memoir read by Yuknavitch and Palahniuk, and either author will write a blurb of praise for the winning books.

With an introduction by Chuck Palahniuk, The Quantum Narrative is part memoir, part

how-to manual for writing through pain, trauma, and abuse. In it, Yuknavitch explores her journey with language and how she found a voice in the midst of chaos. Yuknavitch is the author of the memoir The Chronology of Water, recipient of multiple Northwest book awards, including the PNBA Award. She is also the author of four works of fiction, Her Other Mouth, Liberty’s Excess, Real to Reel, and Dora: A Headcase. She owns and operates Chiasmus Press and teaches writing at the University of Oregon.

For more information about The Quantum Narrative and Tin House’s memoir writing contest, visit www.tinhouse.com. The Quantum Narrative is now available for purchase in bookstores and at online retailers.

Marketing Plan Title: The Quantum Narrative Author: Lidia Yuknavitch Publisher: Tin House Books Genre: Memoir Book Description: In 1988, Lidia Yuknavitch snuck into Ken Kesey’s collaborative novel writing class at the University of Oregon and, to her surprise, wasn’t kicked out. At 25, in the midst of downing pills, hallucinogens, and vodka, Yuknavitch fond the voice that she had been struggling to cultivate since her childhood. With an introduction by her friend and fellow Oregon writer Chuck Palahniuk, The Quantum Narrative is Yuknavitch’s story about stories and their power to save; a celebration of survival through the act of writing. F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote that “All good writing is like swimming underwater and holding your breath.” Once an Olympic hopeful and now an award-winning author, Yuknavitch believes that holding your breath isn’t enough. The Quantum Narrative is her how-to guide for breathing underwater.

BISAC Categories: • BIO026000: Biography & Autobiography / Personal Memoir • BIO022000: Biography & Autobiography/ Women • BIO007000: Biography & Autobiography/ Literary • SEL001000: Self-Help/ Abuse Format: Paperback Illustrations: none Trim Size: 5.2” x 8” x 0.8” Page count: 242 Warehouse date: January 2013 Pub date: February 2013 ISBN13: 316-215987603 List Price: $16.95 Print run: 14,000 Book Title Abbreviation: QN Edition: first Other books by author: Her Other Mouths (House of Bones Press), Liberty’s Excess (Fiction Collective 2), Real to Reel (Fiction Collective 2), The Chronology of Water (Hawthorne), Dora: A Headcase (Hawthorne) Audience: • Aspiring writers, specifically of memoir/nonfiction • Readers who enjoyed The Chronology of Water

• • • • •

Fans of Ken Kesey and the alternative Oregon writing scene Fans of Chuck Palahniuk Survivors of sexual, emotional, or physical abuse (especially females) Writing groups People in therapy for abuse and trauma

Market: • Independent bookstores: Yuknavitch is an indie author that likes to support local businesses.

• Therapy and self-help groups: the book can be supplemental reading for anyone receiving therapy to overcome abuse or trauma.

• Writing groups: the book is a how-to guide for writing, so aspiring writers would be interested in it.

• Classrooms: the book would work well in Women’s Studies and Women’s Literature classes as it explores gender issues and is written by a female author.

Comparative titles: • When Women Were Birds: Fifty-four Variations on Voice, Terry Tempest Williams, hardcover: 224 pages. Sarah Crichton Books; April, 2012; 978-0374288976; $23.00.

Unconventional memoir by a female author who explores what it means to have a voice.

• Black Milk: On Writing, Motherhood, and the Harem Within, Elif Shafak, hardcover: 288. Viking Adult; April 2011: 978-0670022649; $25.95. A memoir written by a woman with post-partum depression, examines motherhood and spiritual wellbeing in relation to writing.

• Crazy Brave: A Memoir, Joy Harjo, hardcover: 176 pages. W. W. Norton & Company; July, 2012; 978-0393073461; $24.95. A memoir about Harjo’s journey to becoming a poet. How she found a voice despite her abusive father and having a child as a teenager.

• Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within, Natalie Goldberg, paperback: 224 pages. Shambhala; December 2005; 978-1590302613; $14.95. A how-to write guide by a female author based on her personal experiences with hardship and her struggle to become a writer.

Key selling points: • Introduction by Chuck Palahniuk.

• Fits in nicely with Tin House’s other writing guides, like the Writer’s Notebook I & II, Plotto, and The World Within.

• Blends two nonfiction markets: memoir and how-to write guides.

• Author is a teacher, publisher, and critically-acclaimed published author.

• Value to local and nationwide writing groups.

• Community partnership between the publisher and organizations that help survivors of abuse and violence.

Online/social media presence: • At least a month prior to the book’s release, Tin House’s web team of designers will help the author revamp her website (http://www.lidiayuknavitch.net/) and improve her web presence. We want to improve its design, making it cleaner and more user-friendly. A tab will be added to announce author readings and updates on the release of The Quantum Narrative will also be posted. These updates will include announcements of the contest, photos of the cover, tour/reading dates, and blog posts by Yuknavitch with guest posts by Palahniuk.

• The book will be promoted using the Twitter accounts of the author, Chuck Palahniuk, and Tin House.

• Tin House’s blog, The Open Bar (http://www.tinhouse.com/blog/), will feature a multi-part segment of writing advice from Lidia Yuknavitch to promote The Quantum Narrative. There will also be a post devoted to announcing Yuknavitch’s new book and the contest centered around it. Chuck Palahniuk will do a guest blog as well.

• The cocktail party at Tin House for the release of the book will be “liveblogged” on The Open Bar. Special marketing opportunities: • Tin House will be putting on a national contest for writers of memoir.

Contestants will send in a 50-page sample of their unpublished personal memoir and three winners will be chosen. Prizes include blurbs by Yuknavitch and Palahniuk.

• Yuknavitch will do a Northwest tour of writing groups in three states: California, Oregon, and Washington. She will read from her book and do a short workshop at each writing group she visits.

• Tin House will help Yuknavitch revamp her website and make it more accessible and user-friendly.

• Yuknavtich and Palahniuk will write blog posts promoting the book on Tin House’s blog, The Open Bar. Yuknavitch will have a multi-part segment of writing advice on the blog.

• Tin House will make a $100 donation to Women Thrive Worldwide on the release date of The Quantum Narrative.

• There will be a cocktail party at Tin House to celebrate the release of the book with readings by Yuknavitch and Palahniuk. The event will be “liveblogged” on The Open Bar. • Author will attend Ooligan Press’ Write to Publish writing conference. The theme is Write What You Know, and Yuknavitch will be a featured author on the panel for personal memoir.

Promotion material/collateral: • Tin House will participate in the Indiebound Redbox Mailing Program, which will provide bookstores with postcards and shelftalkers promoting the book.

• Tin House will print postcards promoting the book to give to bookstores, universities, therapy groups, and writing groups.

Budget: $3,000 • $500 for contest: hiring staffers to read submissions, advertising contest in newspapers.

• $320 for participation in the Indiebound Redbox Mailing Program.

• $1,250 for writer’s group tour: traveling, room and board.

• $400 for cocktail party at Tin House to celebrate the launce of the book with readings by Yuknavitch and Palahniuk.

• $200 to print postcards promoting the book to pass out to writing groups.

• $100 donation to Women Thrive Worldwide Review copies: • Jeff Baker, The Oregonion • Allison Hallett, The Portland Mercury • Michele Kort, Ms. • Penelope Bass, Willamette Weekly • Louisa Ermelino, Publishers Weekly Media: • Fresh Air Societies and organizations: • PSU Women’s Resource Center (pdx.edu/wrc/welcome-to-the-womensresource-center) • Willamette Writers (willamettewriters.com) • International Women’s Writers Guild (http://www.iwwg.org) • RAINN: Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (http://www.rainn.org/) • Pandora’s Project (http://www.pandorasproject.org/) • Women Thrive Worldwide (womenthrive.org) Awards: • Oregon Book Award (literary-arts.org/oba-home/) • WILLA Award (http://www.womenwritingthewest.org/) • PEN Center USA Award (http://www.penusa.org/awards/literary-awards)

Ship Date: January 2013

The Quantum Narrative Lidia Yuknavitch SALES HOOK After years of abuse, two failed marriages, and a miscarriage, Lidia Yuknavitch was saved by the act of writing. Part memoir, part advice for writers, The Quantum Narrative is Yuknavitch’s breathtaking account of how she found her voice in the midst of chaos.

DESCRIPTION In 1988, Lidia Yuknavitch snuck into Ken Kesey’s collaborate novelwriting class at the University of Oregon and, to her surprise, wasn’t kicked out. At 25, in the midst of downing pills, hallucinogens, and vodka, Yuknavitch found the voice that she had been struggling to cultivate since her childhood. With an introduction by her friend and fellow Oregon writer Chuck Palahniuk, The Quantum Narrative is Yuknavitch’s story about stories and their power to save; a celebration of survival through the act of writing. F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote that “All good writing is like swimming underwater and holding your breath.” Once an Olympic hopeful and now an award-winning author, Yuknavitch believes that holding your breath isn’t enough. The Quantum Narrative is her how-to guide for breathing underwater.

KEY SELLING POINTS • Introduction by Chuck Palahniuk • Fits in nicely with Tin House’s other writing guides, like The Writer’s Notebook I & II, Plotto, and The World Within • Blends two nonfiction markets: memoir and how-to write guides • Author is a teacher, publisher, and published author • Value to local and nationwide writing groups

Pub Date: February 2013 Price: $16.95 ISBN-13: 316-215987603 Trim: 5.2” x 8” x 0.8” Format: paperback Pages: 242 Carton Qty: 16 # and type of illustrations: n/a Series: n/a BISAC Category: BIOGRAPHY & AUTOBIOGRAPHY/ Personal Memoir BIOGRAPHY & AUTOBIOGRAPHY/ Women BIOGRAPHY & AUTOBIOGRAPHY / Literary SELF-HELP / Abuse BISAC Code: BIO026000 BIO022000 BIO007000 SEL001000 Previous Edition ISBN: n/a

AUDIENCE • Aspiring writers, specifically of memoir/nonfiction • Readers who enjoyed The Chronology of Water • Fans of Ken Kesey and the alternative Oregon writing scene • Fans of Chuck Palahniuk • Survivors of sexual, emotional, or physical abuse (especially females) • Writing groups • People in therapy AUTHOR BIO Lidia Yuknavitch is the author of the memoir The Chronology of Water, and is the recipient of multiple Northwest book awards, including the PNBA Award. She is also the author of four works of fiction, Her Other Mouth, Liberty’s Excess, Real to Real, and Dora: A Headcase. Her work has been published in Ms., The Iowa Review, Exquisite Corpse, Another Chicago Magazine, Fiction International, Zyzzyva, and other publications. She owns and operates Chiasmus Press and teaches writing at the University of Oregon.

AUTHOR RESIDENCE Portland, Oregon COMPARATIVE TITLES • When Women Were Birds: Fifty-four Variations on Voice, Terry Tempest Williams, hardcover: 224 pages. Sarah Crichton Books; April, 2012; 978-0374288976; $23.00.

Unconventional memoir by a female author who explores what it means to have a voice.

• Black Milk: On Writing, Motherhood, and the Harem Within, Elif Shafak, hardcover: 288. Viking Adult; April 2011: 978-0670022649; $25.95. A memoir written by a woman with post-partum depression, examines motherhood and spiritual wellbeing in relation to writing.

• Crazy Brave: A Memoir, Joy Harjo, hardcover: 176 pages. W. W. Norton & Company; July, 2012; 978-0393073461; $24.95. A memoir about Harjo’s journey to becoming a poet. How she found a voice despite her abusive father and having a child as a teenager.

MARKETING AND PUBLICITY HIGHLIGHTS • Tin House is putting on a national contest for writers of memoir. Prizes include blurbs by Yuknavitch and Palahniuk.

• Yuknavitch will do a Northwest tour of writing groups in three states: California, Oregon, and Washington.

• •

•

Tin House will help Yuknavitch revamp her website and make it more accessible and user-friendly.

Yuknavtich and Palahniuk will write blog posts promoting the book on Tin House’s blog, The Open Bar. Yuknavitch will have a multi-part segment of writing advice on the blog.

Tin House will make a $100 donation to Women Thrive Worldwide on the release date of The Quantum Narrative.

Writing Your Own Adventure [This blog post was the first in a series that I wrote as the Editorial Intern and Contest Director at Cogitate Studios. It was intended to be a sneak peek of the writing contest that we were preparing to launch.]

It doesn’t take an industry insider to realize that publishing is evolving now more than ever. The advent of e-readers and digital publishing has shattered traditional definitions of books and publishers, and the possibilities for writers seeking publication are diverse. Digital hasn’t killed paper and ink books and publishing houses, but it has opened more doors for aspiring authors. Pitching to a publisher, working through an agent, and self-publishing are all viable options that have been successful for a number of authors. Finding the best route for your writing depends on the goals you’ve set for your book and the materials you have to help your writing get published. Not sure which path to take? Take a tip from three authors who went in different directions in their journeys towards publication.

Ursula K. Le Guin is a science fiction writer and Portland local who has been publishing her work since 1960. Although she now works with an agent, Le Guin originally pitched her writing to publishers herself with positive results. One of her earliest novels, The Left Hand of Darkness, was published by a small press called Walker & Company, and several of her poetry collections have been published by the independent Shambhala Publications. By pitching her books to independent and less prominent presses, Le Guin avoided receiving rejection letters from large houses.

Working with small publishers has allowed Le Guin to develop her repertoire of published material as well as cultivate niche markets for the unique genres she works in, like feminist and anarchist science fiction. Although she has worked with big publishers like Harcourt, HarperCollins, and Orchard, she started small in her publishing journey, a choice that benefitted her work and her readers.

J. K. Rowling, the first author to become a billionaire from her writing, successfully published her Harry Potter series by working with an agent. The

manuscript for the series was rejected at twelve different publishing houses when Rowling tried pitching her work on her own. Determined to obtain a deal from a large publishing house, Rowling tried a different approach and sent the manuscript of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone to several prospective agents. The Christopher Little Literary Agency saw the rich possibilities in the manuscript that the publishing houses that rejected Rowling’s work did not and signed the author on as a client within three days. Christopher Little not only helped Rowling successfully secure a contract with Bloomsbury and later Scholastic Inc., but the agency also managed the author’s billion dollar literary career. Although Rowling initially wrote the Harry Potter series in order to pay her gas bills, she had high prospects for her manuscript, and working with an agent helped her attain literary success.

Amanda Hocking is a young-adult paranormal romance and urban fantasy writer who has self-published over ten books and sells thousands of e-books a week.

Although she is now the poster girl for self-publishing due to her overwhelming success, she originally sought publication through traditional routes. When Hocking tried to publish her first book called My Blood Approves, a vampire novel she wrote in fifteen days, she queried both agents and publishers and received piles of rejection letters from both. The abundance of young-adult vampire fiction seeking publication prevented her work from standing out in the slush piles at traditional publishing houses, so Hocking decided to put the popularity of the genre to her advantage by publishing My Blood Approves herself. She sold the novel for a low price on Amazon and watched in amazement as her sales grew to numbers previously unheard of for selfpublished authors. To date, Hocking’s books have earned her over two million dollars.

Due to her success, Hocking now works with a literary agent and has recently signed a two million dollar book deal with a conventional publisher for her next series, Watersong. It might appear that Hocking has taken a backwards route in publishing her work, but the tides have changed in the world of publishing. Just as pitching directly to presses worked for Le Guin and being represented by an agent boosted Rowling’s career, self-publishing has helped Hocking sell millions of books.

There are as many paths toward publication as there are authors; which one will

you take?

Myth-Busting the Publishing Industry [This is another blog post written for Cogitate Studios. Its purpose was to dispel common myths about the publishing industry while generating buzz for Cogitate Studios’ annual writing contest, which focused on the differences between publishers, agents, and self-publishing.]

It seems like there’s a lot of name-calling going on in the publishing industry today. Publishers, agents, and self-publishing enthusiasts are at odds, touting the benefits of their own services while discounting the others. Who should writers trust when seeking publication? The answer is about as complicated as the publishing industry itself. There is no right way to be published, but certain methods work better for various authors and each path towards publication has its own advantages and disadvantages. It’s time to put some nasty rumors about publishing houses, agents, and self-publishing to rest.

Myth #1: Publishers rip off authors Many advocates of self-publishing believe that publishing houses are moneyhungry and disconnected from authors and readers. J. A. Konrath, a fiction writer whose books have been in the Kindle Top 100 bestselling e-books, claims that publishers “screw authors” by denying them the royalties they deserve, assuming too much control over their work, and inadequately editing, marketing, publicizing their books. Although Konrath has had experience with publishing houses (Hyperion published his Jack Daniels thriller series), his low opinion of publishers is biased.

Unlike many self-published authors, Konrath has earned hundreds of thousands of dollars from selling his own books. He has an already established following of readers, many of whom discovered him when his Jack Daniels series was published. Konrath also hires out the editing and designing of his books to freelancers. Many writers do not have the resources and experience that Konrath does.

Even the most successful don’t; after making millions by self-publishing, Amazon superstar Amanda Hocking recently signed a book deal with St. Martin’s

Press. While self-publishing can and does allow some authors to earn more than those who work with publishers, writers who publish traditionally get the benefit of working with professional editors, designers, and marketing experts who have experience handling both the creative and financial aspects of producing books. Publishers rely on authors, and many are dedicated to treating writers well, says Jeremy Greenfield, editorial director of Digital Book World.

Myth #2: Agents aren’t relevant With the popularity of self-publishing increasing exponentially, many people wonder if literary agents will become extinct. Some authors complain that literary agents don’t return their calls or, more importantly, don’t sell their books, so why should writers seek their services? The truth is that working with an agent is a risk-free investment for authors who want to be published traditionally. An agent’s primary concern is to improve a manuscript’s chances of being acquired by a publishing house.

Agents work for authors by negotiating deals with publishing houses and receive a fixed return of 15 percent if the manuscript is acquired. Agents handle the business side of writing; a facet of publishing that bewilders many authors. They can decipher the legal and financial jargon in contracts so that authors can secure the best deal possible.

Most importantly, agents are the most tangible form of human contact that many authors experience in the publishing industry. Authors often form long-lasting relationships with their literary agents.

Together, agents and writers share the ups and downs of publishing. In the midst of the publishing industry’s digital revolution, agents are more relevant than ever in helping writers get their voices heard.

Myth # 3: Self-publishing is just a fad Those who are reluctant to embrace self-publishing and the digital revolution claim that these methods of publishing are fads that will soon be forgotten. Many consider e-publishing to be a bubble: quick to both rise and pop. Self-publishing is no ordinary bubble, however; it continues to swell and isn’t likely to pop anytime soon. In

2009, a little over 764,000 self-published books were produced while more than 288,000 titles were published traditionally, and the numbers continue to rise.

There are more options and tools than ever before for self-published authors every skill level. With services like Smashwords, Lulu, and CreateSpace, writers can produce, print, and distribute books from home, and more tools for self-published authors are constantly being developed. Companies like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple have all embraced the digital revolution as well by creating services for selfpublished authors and their readers. If other multimedia conglomerates and booksellers want to stay relevant and accommodate the millions of readers that use digital reading devices and support self-published writers, they must also follow suit. The question that publishers, authors, and readers must ask is not will digital self-publishing last, but how will we adapt to it.

Writing Contest Round-Up [This was my final blog post written for Cogitate Studios as the Editorial Intern and Contest Director. It summarizes the entries we received for the annual writing contest.]

To those who participated in our Write Your Own Adventure contest, thank you! It certainly wasn’t easy to pick only a few books out of all the stellar entries we received. Every entrant was thoughtful and imaginative in answering our questionnaire, and each writing sample we read was well crafted and engaging. Here are some highlights and trends that emerged from the contest.

Genres We read samples from nearly every genre—from middle grade magical realism to chick lit—but the majority of entries were young adult paranormal fantasy, pointing to a popular trend right now. (We had no non-fiction entries this year.)

Whatever your genre, avoid regurgitating it and instead look to broaden it by adding some originality, something fresh. Good writers pen works that reach far beyond the genre readership, “bursting open the doors to what the savvy may find old had but newbies find intoxicating,” as Sarah Weinman of NPR wrote in a brief article about James Hall’s new book, Hit Lit. Literary Heroes We enjoyed getting a glimpse of the array of literary heroes that entrants would choose to write endorsements for their books. These gave us a lot of insight into what authors value in their own writing. These esteemed writers ranged from Josh Whedon to Hannah Moskowitz, Richard Scrimger to Suzanne Collins, and Robin McKinley to Neil Gaiman.

Writing levels and goals The writers who entered ranged from newbies to published authors. Most were

seeking publication by sending query letters to publishing houses, and we were happy to see that many writers are also actively building their online presence through personal websites, blogs, and social media.

We were surprised that we didn’t receive more entries from authors specifically looking to self-publish their work. With respect to the stigma of self-publishing and the newness of e-publishing, one thing to keep in mind is that with the advent of e-readers and digital publishing, the traditional definitions of “book” and “publisher” have been shattered, and the possibilities for writers seeking publication are more diverse than ever before. Digital hasn’t killed paper-and-ink books or brick-and-mortar publishing houses, but it has opened more doors for aspiring authors. In one past blog post, we talk more about the publishing options available to writers as we write our own adventures, and in another post, we bust several of the myths that some writer’s have about the publishing industry.

Overcoming writer’s block We were especially impressed with how people overcome writer’s block. Here are some of our favorites: “Write something else…”

—Kate Larkindale, author of Chasing the Taillights “I remedy writer’s block by reading and taking walks.”

—Chrissy Rand, author of Dogchow and Divination “I don’t really feel blocked very often, but the big challenge is trying to get into the right place after staring into two computer monitors for an 8 hour work day. Generally, reading, taking walks and listening to The New Yorker Fiction Podcast and This American Life or anything where there are great stories that allow me to reflect about how they made their story “go.” Sometimes Twitter is good because I try to think up jokes in 140 characters—a lot of times they’ll lead to funny premises for short humor stories that I

never end up writing—but obviously Twitter is a double-edged sword when it comes to productivity.”

—Jeff Schmidt, author of Another One of Me “Three ways: I reread what I’ve written to see if it triggers the next part. I swim laps and let my imagination wander. I work on something else for a while.”

—Bonnie Ferrante, author of Burning Questions “I write through it. Sometimes I change my physical location or the music I’m listening to. Whenever my main character stops talking, I write the scene from a different character’s POV, which makes the main character jealous and start talking again.

Sometimes, I’ll switch POV from third to first, or vice versa until I’m able to visualize the scene. Reading has also been known to inspire me to write.”

—Natasha Hanova, author of Blink “If a scene simply doesn’t seem to want to written, it’s usually because I’m approaching it from the wrong angle— starting too far away from the main action, or employing the wrong character point of view. Sometimes a few quick rounds of trial and error will do the job; other times, I may have to force my hands away from the keyboard and reassess exactly what I’m trying to do with this chapter. If active brainstorming doesn’t seem to be un-sticking the wheels, letting the thoughts brew in the back of my mind while I work on another project might be just the ticket. A writer’s brain is a temperamental gadget, but a little patient fiddling can go a long way.”

—Danielle Shipley, author of Inspired “I have learned that if I try to fight through writer’s block, I lock up even more.

However, if I put my writing aside for a while and don’t worry about it, the next time I come back to the story I am able to pick up where I left off without any trouble.”

—Amy Bardwell, author of Blood Rose

“Take a break from the project, read a lot, review what has already been written to see if any new ideas or breakthroughs emerge.”

—E.B. Eaklor, author of Draconis Rex “I keep writing through it. The writing doesn’t have to be in my current project and it doesn’t have to be good; it just has to be words on the page. The action of writing opens up ideas. When I don’t allow myself to be open to the ideas, they won’t come.”

—Kimberly Workman, author of Heaven and Hell Alike “I sit in my chair and type until I’ve met my word count goal for the evening.”

—Christine Canada, author of The Lies That Bind “By battering down the wall. I stay at it, I write something, anything. If I’m having trouble with the continuation of a chapter, I come at it from different angles and toss what doesn’t work. Sometimes the solution comes immediately, sometimes it takes days. Or I’ll work on a completely different project. If I’m really having trouble, I’ll write a random scene from before the book started, or a spin off from the life of a secondary character. Sometimes, I’ll even indulge a raw idea for a handful of pages, all to get the creative juices flowing. That last one gave birth to another book I’m working on.”

—L. L. McKinney, author of Coveted “Would you believe me if I told you I don’t suffer from writer’s block? My problem is always finding time to write as much as I’d like.”

—Adam Gallardo, author of Zomburbia While some claimed that they didn’t suffer from writer’s block, we found that the majority of authors said that writing something else was their best remedy. We liked these answers in particular: •

L. L. McKinney’s suggestion to “spin off from the life of a secondary character.”

•

Natasha Hanova’s recommendation to write the troublesome scene from a different character’s point of view.

•

The idea of listening to music or podcasts for inspiration help get over difficult scenes that refuse to be written.

•

The advice to simply write through writer’s block, no matter how slow and painful the process. “The action of writing opens up ideas,” as Kimberly Lynn Workman wrote.

Regardless of your method of choice for overcoming writer’s bock, patience is

key, as Danielle Shipley quite aptly explained, “A writer’s brain is a temperamental gadget, but a little patient fiddling can go a long way.”

We couldn’t agree more with what everyone wrote and would add that with time comes wisdom in one’s writing—through all the stumbling blocks that we must hurdle on our quest to getting published.

Thanks again to those who participated in our contest! Stayed tuned for more next week, as we cover some of the burning questions you all had about the publishing industry—from the most effective way to pitch publishers, when to find agents, and the myths of self-publishing.

Editing It is difficult to convey editorial work, as the bulk of what an editor does happens behind the scenes. I edit a wide range of written text, including full-length manuscripts (fiction and nonfiction), articles, blogs, marketing copy, book proposals, query letters, and internal documents. I am also comfortable working with a variety of genres and adapting to different conventions. Before I introduce samples of my editing work, I’d like to describe my philosophy as an editor.

Editing is almost second nature for me; it is rare that I don’t catch a grammatical error or typo in the books I read for pleasure, and revision is essential to my own writing process. When it comes to editing manuscripts, I am thorough and meticulous—a “tree” editor more than a “forest” one. I have a keen eye for detail and a deep understanding of grammar and usage, and I am very comfortable using the Chicago Manual of Style. I am a careful reader who is very sensitive to the flow of writing, often devising several ways to rewrite an awkward sentence before settling on one that is right in both tone and pacing. I keep the reader in the forefront of my mind as I edit, ensuring that the writer appeals to that audience.

As in the marketing and publicity work I do, I focus on incorporating the author into the editing process as much as possible. My queries are respectful and carefully worded, and I explain any major change as clearly as possible. I am not afraid to ask questions or offer compliments when appropriate. Preserving an author’s voice is something I am especially attentive to—I aim to make my role in the manuscript as invisible as possible to the reader. I enjoy taking on such an imperceptible yet important role.

Whether I am copy editing text or reviewing a manuscript developmentally, I am the most sensitive to consistency. Inconsistency causes the most confusion for me as a reader, and that translates into my editing style. I write notes for my own personal reference as I edit to ensure that names, places, and timelines are consistent. I always utilize a style sheet to help the author keep track of these aspects of the story as well. As with copy editing, I am always thinking of the audience, and the changes I suggest and

make reflect this concern.

The following documents are a cover letter, style sheet, and copy edit of the short story “The Center of the World� by Geronimo Tagatac. These samples are intended to give you a sense of my editorial standards, intents, and concerns. I encourage any prospective client to send along five pages of written text so that I may perform a personalized sample edit. Every project I take on requires a different approach, but I always strive for the utmost clarity, consistency, coherency, and correctness.

Dear Geronimo Tagatac, Before you review the changes I have made to your manuscript, I would like to commend you for this short story. Your voice is distinct and I appreciate the literary quality it gives the story. Your characterization of Tony is also very strong and a key aspect of this piece. I enjoyed reading this piece very much.

I would like to point out a few problems that I repeatedly came across and consequently corrected. I value your unique style of writing and your distinct, poetic voice, and I didn’t want to sacrifice these key elements of “The Center of the World.”

However, consistency and clarity are equally important to the readability of the piece.

Please consider the following issues as you read my edits.

First, a few points in the story are not consistent from the beginning to the end.

For example, Tony’s teacher’s name changes from Mr. Dickerson to Mr. Dickenson, so I changed all instances of his name to Mr. Dickerson. Similarly, Tony’s age seems to change throughout the text. Although Tony appears to be around eight years old, at least to me, he is explicitly described as being twelve. I think his age should at least be under ten due to the way he reacts to certain situations and the way he idolizes his father. Finally, the items that Tony’s father tells him he must carry do not appear to be consistent throughout the story because the order in which they are described changes from the beginning to the end. I suggest that you name them in the same order each time to maintain consistency and avoid confusion.

Another reoccurring problem I came across was unnecessary adjectives. I realize that using concise, two-part adjective strings is representative of your personal writing style, but I found that they sometimes are too weak or insufficient. In these instances, I omitted or changed the weak adjective. I think that you can maintain your unique voice while using stronger, more concrete adjectives. This would make your descriptions of items in the story more memorable and meaningful for the reader.

Finally, I would like to note that at times I rearranged paragraphs and sentenceorder in the story so that the passage of time is more obvious to the reader. I like how the story flows from the present to the past and back again, but sometimes these points can be confusing. It is important to make it obvious that certain scenes in the story, like

Tony watching Mr. Dickerson or Tony and his father visiting his mother, are obviously in the past to the reader. This can be achieved by keeping these scenes in the past tense.

Meanwhile, scenes in the present need to be written in the present tense.

I hope you find my edits helpful.

Sincerely, Miranda Rabuck

Project Style Sheet “The Center of the World” Editor: Miranda Rabuck A–C bathhouse (Merriam-Webster) callused

D–F

G–I Ilocano

J–L Jacinto

M–O Mariano Marshall Road Mr. Dickerson Mr. Soto

P–S Philippine Pinoy pocketknife Pontiac Ponzi’s Garage Tony S-shape Soto’s grocery store Stanley stockinged

T–V Tamayo Tony two-lane

W–Z White Road William McKinley Public School work shirt (two words, no hyphen)

Style Notes: • Set internal dialogue in italics.

• In faltering dialogue, a comma should follow the third ellipsis and precede the end quotation mark (Chicago Manual of Style 13.39).

Tony waits for his father beside the dirt road at the edge of the yard. He has done this every day after school for the last three years. He stands in the slanting light beneath the dark blue sky and feels a growing dampness in the air. There is a breath of movement, a small distortion on the horizon. He knows the blade-ends of hoes, then the heads and the shoulders of the men, are coming over the gentle rise at the far end of the dirt road. He knows his father from a quarter of a mile away by the angle at which he carries his hoe—steeper than the angles of those carried by his uncles, Stanley, Mariano, and Tamayo. The light deepens from yellow to orange, and the sun is falling toward the aquamarine horizon. The men are like the first wisps of darkness rising out of the earth. It seems as though the contours of the fields and the plants that lie in them have

Miranda Rabuck 10/25/12 2:51 PM Deleted: The Center of the World When Tony sits in his classroom, at William at William McKinley Public School, watching ... [1]

Miranda Rabuck 10/17/12 3:43 PM Comment [1]: “It” is vague here. See my suggestion for revision.

Miranda Rabuck 10/17/12 3:40 PM Deleted: …nds of hoes, then the heads...and [2] Miranda Rabuck 10/5/13 12:32 PM Comment [2]: I suggest omitting the names of Tony’s uncles, since they aren’t central to the story. Tony’s father’s name is never mentioned, why should his uncles’?

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 2:31 PM

given up the men in deference to the night. Tony can almost feel the mixed cadence of their

Comment [3]: Perhaps “deepen” is a better word here.

walks, the textures of their faces, and the soft give and take of their voices. To Tony, they

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 2:31 PM Deleted: is shading

possess an intimacy with the dust, the leaves, the air, the light. Perhaps it is something that has

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 2:31 PM Deleted: deep …range, and the sun is falling ... [3]

worked its way into them during their days in the fields. He watches the men approach and feels

Tony thinks of Mr. Dickerson, his heavy set, clean-shaven teacher at William McKinley Public

Miranda Rabuck 10/25/12 10:02 AM Comment [4]: Although I like this sentence, I think it’s unnecessary and unexpected. I suggest omitting it or moving it up in the paragraph.

School, a man almost without form, definition, or color. Mr. Dickerson’s face is pink and

Deleted: coming toward him…pproach...and [4]

smooth, standing in stark contrast to the sharp angles of Tony’s father’s dark face. Sometimes

Comment [5]: It sounds as though Tony is now sitting in the classroom. Make it clear that Tony is remembering things in the past.

as though the center of the world is walking toward him.

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 2:35 PM Miranda Rabuck 10/25/12 10:02 AM

Tony watches Mr. Dickerson’s white hand writing scratchy words on the blackboard. He thinks of his father standing naked under the shower pipe in the bathhouse, the water making the

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:35 PM Deleted: When Tony sits in his classroom, at William McKinley Public School, watching

muscles of his brown shoulders, arms, and chest gleam like the blade of a new knife.

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:19 PM Deleted: he sees…a man almost without ... [5]

Coming now to the edge of the field where Tony waits, the men stop and talk for a while. Tony stands beside his father and listens to the men speaking softly in the Ilocano dialect of their Philippine homeland. Their laughter is as light as dust; the laughter of men held in the familiar,

Miranda Rabuck 10/23/12 6:27 PM Comment [6]: I don’t think the two adjectives here are very strong, so I suggest taking one out.

Miranda Rabuck 10/23/12 6:29 PM Deleted: ,… and …e thinks of his father ... [6] Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:35 PM Deleted: …oming now to the edge of...the [7]

gentle embrace of fatigue. When his father takes his hand in his own warm, callused hand, Tony feels as though he is connected to a hot and bitter current that runs through his father’s arm from somewhere deep in his body.

Tony remembers the windy March afternoon when his father showed him the plants that he had thought were weeds, telling him which were good to cook and eat. His father told him how he and his uncles had lived with loneliness, hunger, and exhaustion in the bad times when there were no jobs. His father told him that such things break the hearts of other men. Sicken and kill them—but not his father’s people. Never. His father told him that when Tony is a man, there will be times when he too will be alone. He said that if Tony carries an overcoat to sleep under, a

Miranda Rabuck 10/16/12 10:55 PM Deleted: at …s though he is connected...to[8] a

Miranda Rabuck 10/16/12 10:56 PM Comment [7]: Pronoun was unclear.

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 2:41 PM Deleted: He …ony remembers the

... [9]

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:20 PM Deleted: to Miranda Rabuck 10/17/12 3:53 PM Comment [8]: Is this Tony’s uncles or his father’s uncles? If it’s the former, insert either “Tony’s” before “uncles” or change “uncles” to “brothers,” since Tony’s uncles are presumably his father’s brothers.

piece of string to tie things with, matches to light a fire, and a knife to cut things, he will live.

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 2:41 PM Deleted: often …ived with loneliness,... [10]

Tony reaches into the pocket of his pants and feels the gentle S-shape of the bone-handled

Miranda Rabuck 10/17/12 3:56 PM Comment [9]: Why does the tense switch to present? I assume Tony is still remembering things his father told him, so I suggest changing “tells” to “told.”

pocketknife that his Uncle Tamayo gave him on his twelfth birthday.

Tony looks down at the white scar across the fingertips of his father’s left hand, remembering the

Miranda Rabuck 10/17/12 3:54 PM Deleted: . B…t not his father’s people. ... [11]

morning he saw him swing the blue steel blade of the cauliflower knife too close, nearly severing the ends of three fingers. His father had cursed in a harsh whisper with an anger that Tony found

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:23 PM Comment [10]: Tony does not seem older than twelve. I suggest rethinking this. He seems closer to 8 to me.

frightening and beautiful. Then he thrust the curved blade of the knife into the cold, damp earth

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:35 PM Deleted: …ony looks down at the white ... [12]

between the rows of cauliflower as though he were stabbing the thing that had wounded him.

The thick dark blood rushed out over his fingers, down his hand, and dripped into the ploughed furrow at his feet. His father pulled his blue bandanna from the back pocket of his pants and wrapped it around his fingers. When his father retrieved the knife from the thirsty soil, the blade

Tony stood in terror and envy of his father’s power over blood and pain. Then a voice in him

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:25 PM Comment [11]: It’s confusing whether this phrase means “in moments like those” or “in those specific moments.” I suggest just omitting it altogether.

said, someday he will give me that power.

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:26 PM Deleted: …ony stood in terror and envy of ... [13]

came away clean. Without a word, he had gone on working through the rest of the morning.

Miranda Rabuck 10/17/12 4:02 PM Formatted: Font:Italic

When the men leave, Tony follows his father into the bathhouse; a nail-scarred two-by-four structure with corrugated tin roof and wall. The chipped bathtub stands in the corner of the

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM Deleted: …hen the men have gone…eave, ... [14]

concrete floor and there is a scrubbing board hanging from a nail above it. He watches his father hang his hat on a nail and wash his hands and face in the water from the tap above one end of the bathtub.

They cross the yard and go to the house. When his father opens the door, Tony smells the aroma of rice and red beans cooking with salt pork. His father sits in a green wooden chair, unlaces his work boots, and sighs as he pulls them away from his stockinged feet. Tony smells the mixture of dust from his father’s clothes and the old leather-and-sweat-scent of the man’s boots, thinking about being big enough to wear such boots. His father brings the chair to the table where Tony’s

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM Deleted: …hey cross the yard, …and ... go [15]to Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 2:52 PM Comment [12]: Is it salt pork or salted pork?

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 2:53 PM Deleted: mixed with…nd the old leather... [16]

young stepmother has placed three stainless steel tablespoons alongside the mismatched plates of food.

The woman is only seven years older than Tony. She is a stocky, light-skinned woman who ties her hair in a bun. His father met her at a dance and brought her home one day two years ago.

Tony’s real mother is distant, like the stories that Mr. Dickerson tells about Lincoln and Roosevelt. Tony remembers her as slim, olive-skinned woman with brown eyes and light brown hair. Tony pictures her living beyond the bright smudge of the sun, masked by a thin sheet of cold winter clouds.

His father had taken him to see her a month after she left. They rode east on a bus for three days.

During the nights on the gently-rocking bus, his father covered him with his brown wool overcoat as Tony slept in his seat. When they arrived in the city, Tony’s father took him into a very tall building with a smooth blue- and red-tiled lobby floor. They rode in an elevator with a dark wood interior and then walked down a long carpeted hallway.

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM Deleted: …he woman is only seven...years [17]

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM Deleted: His …ony’s real mother is... [18]

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:14 PM Comment [13]: I omitted one of the adjectives because I don’t think it was strong enough.

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:14 PM Deleted: high, …old Winter

... [19]

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:15 PM Deleted: ... [20]

His mother’s roommate let them into the apartment and then went into another room. Tony stood on the thick white carpet and looked at the morning light coming through the airy curtains. He

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM Deleted: …is mother’s roommate let...them [21]

His mother came out of her room. Seeing Tony, her brown eyes softened for a short moment.

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:21 PM Comment [14]: “Filmy” makes me think that the curtains are dingy and covered in a layer of dirt, but in the context of the paragraph, it seems the curtains should be described differently. I replaced “filmy” with “airy,” since I think that might be what you’re trying to get at.

Then, turning to his father, they hardened. She faced his father and they began to argue without

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:22 PM Deleted: There was a…e looked at the...big, [22]

looked at the big, bright, floral couch and the lamps with blue, glass bases. He had never seen anything as lovely as that room.

then his, then hers again. Tony wanted to find an empty space—a path between their words—

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:23 PM Comment [15]: Earlier, Tony’s mother’s eyes were described as brown and her hair light-brown. Here, her eyes are light-brown. I omitted “light” for consistency.

that would allow her to come to him. He wanted them to stop for a moment, for her to walk

Deleted:

across that interval of silence and take him up in her arms.

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:24 PM Deleted: , … Then, turning to his father, ... [24] they

Tony stood on the beautiful white carpet, breathless and paralyzed. As he watched her, he felt as

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:26 PM Comment [16]: It’s their voices going back and forth, not them.

looking at Tony. His mother and father’s voices went back and forth, so loud and fast—hers,

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM …is mother had come …ame ... [23] out

though the smell of her hair and skin and the sound of her voice were being torn out of every cell

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:27 PM Deleted: , …a path , …etween their words— ... [25]

in his body. He felt an emptiness in his chest more dark and bottomless than the nightmares that

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:27 PM Comment [17]: The phrasing here is vague.

Does Tony want his mother to literally come to him, or for her voice to acknowledge him?

had begun to terrify him so often. Please, please: the words filled his head, but his lips could not make the sounds. He knew that neither he nor those simple words were big enough or strong enough to pull her back to him.

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:28 PM Deleted: and… for her to walk across...that [26]

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM …ony stood on the beautiful ... [27]

Deleted:

Finally, his father turned to leave. Tony looked at his mother and saw her turn away from them.

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:36 PM Formatted: Font:Italic

He watched the back of her pink silk dress and her thick hair as she went into her bedroom and

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:35 PM Deleted: T…e words, please, please,…filled ... [28]

Tony’s father led him out through a door with gleaming brass handles. He held Tony’s hand as

Miranda Rabuck 10/12/13 1:51 PM Comment [18]: I think it’s implied that Tony is looking at his mother and his father, so I don’t think it needs to be stated here.

they walked down the long hall with doors just like his mother’s. They walked past the potted

Deleted:

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM …inally, his father had

... [29]

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:38 PM Deleted: y,…pink

... [30]

closed the door.

plants and chrome metal ashtray stands, their mismatched footfalls muffled by the dark red carpet. As he and his father stood together in the descending elevator, Tony realized that he

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM Deleted: …ony’s father took …ed him ... [31] out

would never see his mother again. He began to cry. His father picked him up and held him in his strong arms and Tony wept against the front of his father’s wool overcoat.

Tony’s stepmother’s rages erupt without warning. When she is angry or impatient, she strikes him across the back with a wooden spoon or a piece of kindling. Sometimes she slaps him across

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:35 PM Deleted: had …icked him up and held...him [32]in

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM Deleted: His …ony’s stepmother’s rages ... [33]

the side of his startled face with all of her strength, sending him running out of the house holding his hand to a streaming eye or stinging cheek. He feels no warmth from her and he gives none in return. Tony tries not to go within arm’s reach of her, and he hates the strange thing that holds his father and his stepmother together.

She sits down at the table beside his father and Tony watches her strong white arms and hands as she begins to eat. His eyes flash quickly across her dark eyes and wide face.

“It would be nice to have meat in the house,” she says.

Tony’s father puts his spoon down and stares silently at the food on his plate for a moment. “Are you saying I don’t take care of my family?”

“I didn’t say that. I just said—” Tony’s father rises suddenly and walks out of the house, banging the door shut behind him. Tony stands to follow his father.

“Sit down and finish your food!” his stepmother orders.

Once he has eaten his food and rinsed his plate, Tony leaves the house and goes into the yard. He sees his father standing beside the Pontiac, his form silhouetted against the thin red edge of the horizon. From the way his father stands, his hands on his hips, Tony knows a silent rage is

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM Deleted: …he sits down at the table...beside [34]

Miranda Rabuck 10/12/13 1:54 PM Comment [19]: I thought they were eating pork. Either you didn’t mean to say that the family was cooking salted pork earlier, or perhaps the culture doesn't consider pork meat.

I think explaining this in some way would help clear up any confusion.

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM Deleted: Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM Deleted: …ony’s father puts his spoon ... [35] Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM Deleted: …I didn’t say that. I just said— ... [36]...

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:36 PM Deleted: …ony’s father rises suddenly ... [37] and Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:37 PM Deleted: …Sit down and finish your...food!”

[38] Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:37 PM Deleted: When …nce he has eaten his food ... [39]

building. Tony has seen men become aware of that same raw stillness in his father and stop midsentence, backing away a step or two.

Without warning, his father turns to him. “Want to go to the store with me?”

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:38 PM Deleted:

His father is silent during the twenty-minute drive to the corner of White and Marshall Roads, where the Soto’s grocery store stands beside Ponzi’s Garage with its red gas pumps. Mr. Soto, who is about to close up, lets them in.

“How can I help you, Jacinto?” Mr. Soto asks Tony’s father.

Tony’s father takes out his wallet, opens it, and places all the money he has on the counter. “I want to buy some meat.”

When they return to the house a half-hour later, Tony’s father carries a large paper shopping bag.

Tony’s stepmother looks up from the table where she is reading a magazine. Tony watches her as

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:38 PM Deleted: …is father is silent during ... the[40] Miranda Rabuck 10/22/12 6:31 PM Comment [20]: Is the name of the store Soto’s Grocery Store, or is it just a man/family named Soto’s grocery store? I’ll leave it as is for now but if Soto’s Grocery Store is the formal name of the store, remove the “the” before it and capitalize.

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:40 PM Deleted: …How can I help you, Jacinto?” ... [41] Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:40 PM Deleted: …ony’s father takes out his ... [42] Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:40 PM Deleted: …hen they return to the house ... [43] a

she eyes his father. He puts the brown bag down next to the sink and begins unloading it.

“You wanted meat. Here it is,” he says, quickly stacking the eight white packages of meat onto the dark wood counter.

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:40 PM Deleted: …You wanted meat. Here ... it [44] is,”

Tony’s father goes to the far wall, removes one of his work shirts hanging from a nail, and walks

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 6:44 PM Comment [21]: This is repetitive since two sentences above, you mentioned that he is stacking the packages. See my suggestion for revision.

out the door.

Deleted:

Tony follows his father out to the bath shed, leaving his stepmother standing beside the counter,

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:06 PM Deleted: …ony’s father walks over ... [46]

looking down at the packages. As he goes out the door, he hears her say, “Touchy Pinoy. That

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:06 PM Deleted: …ony follows his father out ... [47] to

“What will we… ,” she starts to ask.

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:06 PM …What will we… , ..... ,

... [45]

man’s pride’s going to kill us some day, damn it. What are we going to do with all of this meat?”

Tony is smiling as he enters the bath shed. His father is scrubbing his soapy khaki work shirt against the tin ridges of the washboard. The dim light overhead accentuates the muscles of his arms as he scrubs. He soaps another part of the wet shirt and resumes washing it, his jaw muscles working in the yellow light. Without warning, he hurls the shirt across the room with all his strength. The sound the shirt makes as it slams into the wall is as loud as a deer rifle and Tony jumps. His father’s hands clutch the edge of the tub as though he is about to lift it and throw it

Miranda Rabuck 10/22/12 6:35 PM Comment [22]: There are a lot of adjectives here that make the sentence clunky.

I suggest omitting one or two.

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:06 PM Deleted: …ony is smiling as he enters the ... [48] Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:49 PM Deleted: ,…yellow …ight overhead light ... [49]

into the wall of the bath shed as well. Instead, his face is bent toward the bottom of the tub, looking at something—something that is making him laugh. Tony starts to join him because he thinks that his father is laughing at the wonderful joke that he has played on Tony’s stepmother with the meat. Then Tony realizes that his father is weeping.

The next morning, Tony waits for the school bus beside the two-lane blacktop road that lies a

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:05 PM Deleted: But his father’s Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:50 PM Deleted: .

Miranda Rabuck 10/21/12 5:50 PM Deleted: S Miranda Rabuck 10/22/12 6:37 PM Deleted: laugh with Miranda Rabuck 10/22/12 6:37 PM

half-mile down the dirt road from his family’s shack. The morning wind ruffles the weeds that

Deleted: And t

border the broccoli field. Tony looks up at the vacant, windblown sky and remembers the sound

Deleted:

of his father’s sobs. Tony feels a dark emptiness, as though the Earth has shifted in the night, leaving him alone in a far-off place. He whispers the list of things that his father has told him he must carry: a knife for cutting, string for tying, matches for fire, an overcoat for the cold. He repeats the names of these things, again and again, to the wind that sweeps over the silent fields.

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:06 PM Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:07 PM Deleted: d Miranda Rabuck 10/22/12 6:37 PM Deleted: -a Miranda Rabuck 10/22/12 6:40 PM Comment [23]: Since Tony’s father was cutting cauliflower earlier, should it be a cauliflower field here?

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:11 PM Deleted: Remembering that sound, Miranda Rabuck 10/22/12 6:40 PM Deleted: earth

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:11 PM Deleted: and left

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:11 PM Deleted: Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:13 PM Comment [24]: This list has a slightly different order than the one in the beginning of the story. I'm not sure if this was deliberate, but it would be more consistent if it followed the same order.

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:13 PM Deleted: .

Miranda Rabuck 10/24/12 7:13 PM Deleted: A

Miranda Rabuck 10/22/12 6:42 PM Comment [25]: I feel like a stronger word than “washes” can be used here.

Miranda Rabuck 10/22/12 6:43 PM Deleted: washes