Living From the Heart A journey into authentic relationship with self, others and God. Exercises Workbook
Living from the Heart Misa Leonessa Garavaglia
Copyright- all rights reserved
Instructions for Letter to Myself and Conversations with Myself Exercises It is not unusual for us to have hidden, inner children that need love and attention as a result of childhood trauma. As we are able to welcome these parts of ourselves into the open and develop relationship with them they can heal and learn to thrive. The purpose of these two exercises is to create a safe place for your inner child to express feelings and make a healthy connection with your adult, good parent. In the Letter to Myself exercise, it is important to let that little part know that you know what they have suffered and recognize the effects of that abuse on them. Naming the abuse gives them permission to talk about it. Next, consider what impact your own attitude and behavior has had upon this inner child. Did you ignore him/her? Did you deny or disbelieve the memories that this part has been carrying all these years? Did you even reject or abandon this little part? Take the time to admit your previous response to the little one and ask for forgiveness. This sets the stage for building trust between your good parent and your inner child. Then welcome the child to come and share whatever he/she has to share with you, promising not to judge or condemn, but to listen, receive his/her truth, and love the child. I have included a sample Letter to Myself to give you an idea of how it can be used, but let your intuition and heart guide your own unique invitation to your wounded one. Now it’s time to begin your Conversations with Myself journal. You’ll notice on the sample journal I have included that I have written mine by hand. I encourage you to try this as hand writing connects with places in the brain differently than typing. Some people even like to write the child responses with their nondominant hand. I have purposely left the child’s column wider so as to encourage the majority of the conversation to come from him/her. The parent may have occasion to reframe or do some teaching, as I have in my example, but our first job is to listen, receive, and love the little one. Creating that space to hold their thoughts, feelings and memories with respect, honor, and compassion gives our wounded inner children the opportunity to build trust and communicate authentically without worry of rejection or condemnation- often the opposite of his/her previous experience. In my journal provided here, I addressed the issue of trust in an everyday, “teachable” moment. This has been quite a challenging healing issue for me and I have had to readdress in many times in many different situations. Don’t be discouraged if you have done healing work in a particular area but find that it didn’t “take” in all parts of your brain. It is quite common for parts of a traumatized brain to not be able to access what other parts of your brain know. Be patient and kind, as you would be with your own child. What is most important is that you create a time and space for your inner child to share whatever he/she needs to share and be able to build a healing partnership with your healthy adult self. You may consider making these conversations a weekly, or even daily habit as you create a secure shelter for your inner little one to thrive in. If the exercise isn’t working for you, let it go and perhaps come back to it at another time when you feel ready. I hope this is a blessing!
Misa Leonessa Life Coaching Email: inspire@misacoach.com 831.335.1265
Website: www.misacoach.com
Living from the Heart Misa Leonessa Garavaglia
Copyright- all rights reserved
A Letter to Myself Dear_____________, I know that you have suffered during the last________ years, more than I was ever aware of. You suffered___________________ at the hands of_____________________ and ____________________________________________ from________________________ and _____________________ from_______________________ (you can add more on the back) You have been treated ________________________and then you have been ______________ and ______________________________________and _______________________________. Worst of all, I (ignored you, rejected you, didn’t believe you…) ________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________. I have failed to be the good inner parent that you needed. I am asking for your forgiveness now. Now, I am learning (how to be a good parent and a good friend, etc…) ____________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ I commit myself to be the parent you have always needed. I invite you to come and talk to me. I make the commitment to listen, without judgment. I will not reject you. I invite you to speak and be heard, to become fully known and know that you are fully loved. From, _______________________ Dated _________________
Misa Leonessa Life Coaching Email: inspire@misacoach.com
Website: www.misacoach.com 831.335.1265
Living from the Heart Misa Leonessa Garavaglia
Copyright- all rights reserved
Conversations with Myself The Good Parent
The Wounded Child
Misa Leonessa Life Coaching Email: inspire@misacoach.com
Website: www.misacoach.com 831.335.1265
Living from the Heart Misa Leonessa Garavaglia
Copyright- all rights reserved
Misa Leonessa Life Coaching Email: inspire@misacoach.com
Website: www.misacoach.com 831.335.1265
These exercises have been provided free of charge for the benefit of Beyond Abuse Radio listeners. I ask that you use them with wisdom and compassion f or your inner child and that you give credit to the author if you choose to share them with others. If you would like guidance with these and other exercises in trauma healing, feel free to contact me about becoming part of the Living from the Heart journey or entering into one on one coaching or spiritual direction. I work with people by skype, phone, or in person.
Misa Leonessa Life Coaching Email: inspire@misacoach.com Website: www.misacoach.com Phone: 831.335.1265