RealTalk for East Africans in Florida

RealTalk for East Africans in Florida Foreword This paper draws from conversations conducted during the summer of 2023, which were intended to take place with individuals of East African or East African descent residing in South Florida. This initiative sought to amplify the voices and stories of East Africans, contributing to a deeper understanding of their unique challenges, dreams, and the dynamics shaping their lives in the United States. It's important to note, however, that all responses received were from Ethiopian or Ethiopian-American participants, consequently, the insights presented here predominantly reflect the experiences of this specific demographic. Throughout the paper, the term “Habesha” is used to refer to Ethiopians/Eritreans as a whole. The insights presented in this paper are a testament to the power of meaningful conversations, the participatory essence of research, and the compelling narratives that emerged during our dialogues.

This research project involved participants engaging in small group conversations. These conversations, which lasted from 45 minutes to 2 hours, were carefully planned to investigate different aspects of the experiences of the East African community. The goal of these conversations was to understand how these experiences have influenced their current interactions within the community and their concerns for future generations. We delved into topics such as family dynamics, the experiences of growing up as immigrants or children of immigrants in the United States, and the intricate complexities of raising a child in the U.S. as opposed to Ethiopia/Eritrea. The rich tapestry of insights and personal stories woven during these dialogues forms the very fabric of this paper. The main themes which will be explored more in-depth throughout the paper are “Community”, “Maintaining Culture”, “Discrimination”, “Belonging”, and “Call to Action.”

Although the research primarily focuses on the Ethiopian and Ethiopian-American community in South Florida, the findings hold a broader relevance. The experiences and perspectives shared during this project extend beyond specific ethnicities or geographical locations, resonating with the broader East African community in the United States. These findings are not only a tribute to the South Florida Ethiopian community but also a reflection of the collective experiences and aspirations of East Africans throughout the nation. Through the power of dialogue and shared narratives, we hope to foster deeper connections and understanding within our diverse East African communities, enriching our collective journey forward.

Community This section provides an examination of the South Florida Ethiopian community, considering its various facets and their broader impact. It explores the frequency of social interactions and the significance of community events, raising questions about how the community's size influences individuals' perceptions and feelings. Additionally, it delves into the significance of diverse backgrounds, including factors such as religion, ethnic group, and nationality, in shaping the community's dynamics and cohesion.

Frequency In the South Florida Ethiopian community, there is a growing interest in fostering more interactions between children and community centers, with churches being mentioned as an example as a possible community center.1 Community members recognize the importance of providing children with opportunities to learn cultural values alongside their peers through frequent interactions. However, there's a noticeable decline in the frequency of community events compared to the past, leaving many feeling disconnected from their neighbors. This decrease in interaction is partly attributed to the challenge of expanding social circles beyond one's childhood connections 2 and the difficulty in finding suitable times for gatherings that work for everyone. Additionally, parents who once prioritized socializing for the sake of their kids are now less proactive as their children grow older. The absence of community gatherings has had a noticeable impact on younger generations,3 exacerbated by factors like the COVID-19 pandemic and people leaving the local area. As a result, the community is keen on revitalizing these interactions to strengthen the bonds between its members and provide a sense of unity and belonging once more.

Size In South Florida, the Ethiopian community is notably smaller than that of other major hubs for Ethiopian immigrants, like Atlanta and the DMV (Washington D.C., Maryland, Virginia). This smaller size has led to its own unique dynamics. While Ethiopia itself boasts a rich tapestry of diverse ethnic groups and religions, in Florida, Ethiopians tend to coalesce as a broader Habesha/Ethiopian community, rather than forming distinct sub-groups based on intricate details 1

“I think the church is the pillar of many Ethiopian communities. Through the church, maybe there could be more outreach programs, more conferences, or just more dialogue within the church with parents, of teaching their kids to take pride in their culture.”

2

“But as time grew on, I feel like we all got older, and I do understand a lot more people have reached out and been like, "Hey, come let's go do this." And I do understand that, but since I was a child, since I've already had people I've already connected to in the community, I feel like those are the people who I talk to. But as much as I would love to expand and meet a lot more people in the community, I do feel like I'm unable to because of the way it was when I was a child.”

3

“[They’ve] never experienced the weekly park. [They’ve] never experienced, even when we went from weekly to monthly, [they’ve] never even experienced a monthly one. So it's like what happened between then and now that's changed all of this. You know what I mean?”

of ethnicity and religion. The intimacy of this smaller community allows for a shared sense of identity and commonality to thrive, emphasizing the connections they share rather than the nuances that may divide them. In contrast, larger Ethiopian communities in other cities may place a greater emphasis on preserving their distinct cultural elements. However, it's worth noting that not everyone within the South Florida Ethiopian community considers the group to be small; some individuals seek an even smaller, more intimate community,4 especially when considering their future in the region.

Diversity The South Florida Ethiopian community, while smaller in size compared to some other regions, possesses a unique perspective on diversity. In one sense, its smaller size might imply less diversity, yet it paradoxically fosters a more accepting and embracing atmosphere for various religions and ethnic groups within the Ethiopian and broader East African community.5 This is due to members being able to recognize their shared commonality as being Habesha. However, the smaller size of the community does pose challenges in terms of meeting individuals of the exact same religion or ethnicity, which can sometimes lead to feelings of isolation.6 Multiple members of the community have mentioned not knowing which specific ethnic group they were a part of until they were older, usually teenagers, and that learning more about their specific heritage did not lead to any bias against other groups. Although the South Florida Ethiopian community may be limited in size, there is a growing recognition of the benefits of a broader East African community in the area, with initiatives being put in place to facilitate this expansion.

Commonalities among these cultures provide a foundation for positive interactions and shared experiences. There has been some conversation among younger members of the community 4

“I definitely don't want them in a community like the DMV, but I do want a small tight-knit Ethiopian community within myself. With my kids. I do want them to have sort of what kind of what we had, just not in that bigger sense. You know what I mean? I don't want 200 people calling it a community. I mean a small community” 5

“I will say being part community has probably made me a lot more of an open person because really, because I've probably been to more mosques than I have in churches. And I'm Christian.”

“Can I say one thing though? My mom is always saying that your mom is so inclusive. Because for every Eid or anything that goes on, she'll always text my mom and be like, ‘Happy Eid. I hope you guys enjoy.’ “ 6

“Part of the problem with Florida for me was that there was not a large community that I was used to, of Pentecostal Ethiopians, because there's so many, and it's such a diverse country. Yes, you might be able to find Ethiopians, but do they speak your language? If it's through church, do you guys practice the same faith?

Those kinds of things do bring a feeling of isolation, and that was what I was struggling with living in South Florida was that, whereas I could probably go out and make plans with different groups of friends that I have, or something like that, in Florida, I couldn't think of really anybody that I could really connect with on that level. Of course, you can have friends with people, friendships with people outside of your culture. But like I said, there's nothing like that base of understanding that you have with somebody that shares your culture, your food, your background, your language. I think it's not only important to have a large Ethiopian community, but a diverse one as well.”

regarding the idea of marrying a non-Habesha person; some have the impression that such a thing would be considered taboo. This leads to the question of how children can maintain their culture when only one parent is Ethiopian.

Maintaining Culture: A large concern when moving away from one’s home country is the idea that one will lose touch with their culture and heritage. This worry is especially felt by those who are first-generation Americans or who are thinking about raising their children in the U.S. This section specifically details different methods mentioned on how one can maintain their culture. A large part of keeping one’s culture is due to their family helping to incorporate their Ethiopian culture into daily life or by raising children with Ethiopian culture in mind. Increasing a child’s access to culture, whether that is through keeping important cultural items in the home, visiting Ethiopia often, or ensuring children speak their native language, can help to build a stronger relationship with their heritage. Having pride in one’s heritage is also imperative in making sure they have a strong relationship with their culture.

Access Maintaining access to one's culture is crucial for preserving heritage and identity, especially for children. It's imperative that children have the option to be aware of their culture, even if it isn’t something parents actively involve their children in.7 A communal learning environment with other children plays a vital role in imparting cultural practices, manners, and traditions.8 Unfortunately, the lack of a tight-knit community can limit access to cultural resources, especially for young children. To address this, there is a growing need to formalize cultural traditions and practices, potentially through the creation of a database or website that can serve as a resource hub for the diaspora community.9 Moreover, a child's connection to their culture often hinges on their parents' acknowledgment and effort to instill cultural values at home. This involves keeping traditional pieces and artifacts in the household and fostering a culturally rich environment for their upbringing. Additionally, visiting one’s home country, in this case, Ethiopia, is a powerful way to maintain cultural ties and immerse oneself in the heritage. Beyond culture, staying connected to current events and politics in the native country is also essential for a holistic

7

“I definitely want them to know... I want them to have a little bit. I want them to know where they're from.

I want them to know a little bit and then they can decide how deep they want to delve into it. I'm not going to force them a 100% in, but I want them to be aware.”

8

“What I've tried to do in my own life is, more so than maybe when I was by myself is, once I had my kid, I would make sure that I went to these places, whether there was things in the park that were going on or whatever, so that she could learn by just watching, by just being around the culture. How do we talk to each other? How do we deal with each other? Well, what do we do when we come into a room? You know, don't just run off, and go to the kids' bedroom and start playing, you go and say hello to all the adults. Just things like that.”

9

“Documentation of… different traditions and cultures. If you're visiting someone's house, even if you're a kid, you say hi to everybody. There's a certain way that you greet everybody. Yeah. If there's a way to, like some centralized, I'm imagining a website, and maybe different PDFs, and visuals, if it's necessary of why do we do what we do? What is the first thing you do when you see somebody? If someone is older than you, there's a certain way you address them, [Mr/Mrs in Amharic], and this and that. Different church traditions, or different mosque traditions, definitely centralizing everything.”

understanding of one's cultural identity. Collectively, these strategies help individuals, especially children, continue to embrace and appreciate their cultural heritage even when living abroad.

Language Knowing one's native language, such as Amharic, plays a pivotal role in preserving and maintaining cultural ties. Some parents may hesitate to teach their children the language, fearing it may not hold practical value in the United States, or somehow negatively impact their children.10 However, there is a growing awareness of the emotional and cultural significance of language. Many individuals express regret over not learning their native tongue and ponder how this absence affects their connection to their culture. By passing down their native language to the next generation, individuals can ensure that cultural traditions, stories, and values are preserved and can be more deeply understood and appreciated, fostering a stronger bond with their cultural heritage.

Visiting Home A large significance of being able to visit one’s home country, especially for first-generation Americans, is recognizing that what is seen in American or Western media does not always reflect reality.11 Visiting offers an opportunity to bridge the gap between perception and reality, fostering a deeper connection to one’s heritage, and preserving one’s own image of “home” from external influences. For immigrants though, visiting one’s home country can lead to the profound realization that home does not remain exactly as one remembers it, creating a sense of grief.12 10

“A lot of parents come here with their young children as immigrants and they're like, "What is Amharic going to do for you? Assimilate." I know some parents who want their kids to assimilate, because they don't want any barriers for their children, but both can be done. You can be very well aware of your culture, of your language, your heritage, while being able to assimilate properly.”

11

“I've also taken her back home on many, many occasions, so that she can see that, hey, you don't come from a place like all that they're showing you on the TV. You go home and you'll see that there are...

Yes, there is poverty, but there is also, there's more than that. We've taken her on trips in the countryside, this is where you came from. Then look at all of this, the history, the culture, the castles in Gonder, the churches in Lalibela. All of these things I have shown her, so that she has a sense of, yeah, there's the poor, there's poverty, yes, but I come from these people that are proud, these people that have done a lot of things in the past, these people that have never been colonized. I think it's important for us to really make sure that our kids understand that the image that is shown to them over here does not represent where they come from.”

12

“And then also comparing that even to what I've heard my own family members say, when they say things about how Ethiopia is now, the generational gap is there too. The way that Ethiopia is now, and the way that the kids are raised in Ethiopia, at this time, is even different from the way that they were raised as well. It becomes a very difficult thing to try to think about how do you retain as much of your values as possible, as you move forward, because even within the same country, in Ethiopia, I feel a lot of things change over time. I remember myself, when I visited in 2008, and then now when I visited a year ago, how things are so different.”

Family Values In this context, family values refer to the influence of family dynamics on a child's acquisition of moral and cultural values. In conversations with parents, a recurring theme emerges the aspiration for their children to achieve success and enjoy greater opportunities than they themselves had. Parents do not just want this success for their children but for future generations as well. To attain this, parents are ready to make sacrifices, especially when it comes to ensuring a quality education, even if it means long commutes or higher tuition costs.

Yet, success is not the sole objective; parents also strive to instill good morals in their children, aiming for kindness, open-mindedness, and the development of productive citizenship.13 These moral values are fostered through acts of service, ranging from everyday acts of kindness14 to volunteering at a food pantry.15 Additionally, parents want to pass down their cultural heritage,16 raising their children with a strong connection to their roots.17 As children grow and encounter external influences, how they were raised leaves a lasting impression on them, making it difficult to separate one’s self from their cultural identity. Nevertheless, it's acknowledged that the culture

13

“When you show positive thing into the kids and they go the highest level. So I believe if you want to bake a bread, what you put in it, what you get. So when you put a good input for the kids, when you give them an open mind, open opportunity, show them and guide them the right way, the payback is better.

That’s how you bring good citizens so they know what is good and they know what is bad. So I believe I took a lot of time of yours to explain it to you, but my understanding is my kids, I believe they talk to you, they see you in your eye, they explain it to you things in different angle.”

14

“When my kids were much younger and we went to, let's say, to come to a grocery store or to a bank or anywhere we went to. When there was someone on a wheelchair, I made sure my kids opened the door for that person or they let that person go in or out first. So those kind of moments or those kind of experiences had forced me to teach my children that they have to give priority or help people that are not capable of helping themselves.”

15

“ And by having this food bank, when they come and participate, they could see how fortunate they are.

So they have food on their own, but when they hand out that food, they could be able to see how people really making it day by day. And also when they volunteer with the work, some of them, they never open a tomato paste. So when I tell them, ‘Hey, open the tomato paste’, that is something on hand that they take it for granted not to do it home… That means it opened an eye on them. And also when they see an elderly man coming to pick up the food, there is a feeling that transform in their mind that their ability and their knowledge and their achievements also to see the needy in our community. Because we came here, we have an opportunity to this country, we get a chance to go to school. Nobody stop us. We could achieve what we want to achieve, but at the same time, when we grow up, how we going to give back?

How we going to share what we know, how we could provide what we know? Because as a community, not only taking, but we need to give back.”

16

“For me it's very important to pass the value, not just of parenting in general, but also parenting with the knowledge of the culture and keeping the good things that we have inherited from our parents. That is necessarily not the same as the culture here. I want my kids to have the good quality culture from back home and incorporated in their daily lives, even though it may not be the same than the culture here.”

17

“My mom works to keep it in my life. We go to Ethiopia every, we used to go every of the year. He walked to my house. It's like Ethiopian art on this wall. On that wall, we've got these two wooden carved things on the wall on the other side.”

may gradually erode over generations.18 Thus, parents place great importance on community and interaction with peers from their culture, fostering a sense of belonging and facilitating mutual learning of cultural values. While some may believe that deep cultural immersion could hinder success in the U.S., the current generation strives to ensure their children have access to their heritage, even if it is not imposed upon them. In doing so, they seek to create a harmonious blend of success, morality, and cultural preservation in their children's lives.

Pride A large factor in maintaining one’s cultural identity is being able to take pride in such an identity.

Ethiopian culture itself places a strong emphasis on pride and the idea of being part of “the chosen people”.19 The younger generation is experiencing a remarkable resurgence of pride in their culture and fashion, marking a shift from the previous preference for Western influences in East Africa.20 This cultural resurgence may, in part, be a response to some sort of political oppression, as people seek to reclaim their heritage and identity.21 Notably, individuals are not only embracing a general sense of cultural pride but also taking pride in their specific ethnic 18

“I have a daughter who was born here. As much as you try and pass on your values, the things that are important to you as an Ethiopian, you do know that there is a sense of, you know that that is going to be eroding, as time goes on. That, to me, is a little bit of a sad feeling. You just hope that they'll hold on to the positive aspects. But our children are probably exposed to a wider set of people, which is good. But I think with that also, there may come an erosion of some of the very good values that we bring with us from Ethiopia, so that sense of East African community, or Ethiopian community might get diluted over time, as generations pass on. There's a lot of things that I think that our community, and how we live, and how we interact with each other that is so positive, and so there is a sense of maybe a little bit of a sadness that that might be diluted.”

19

“I came when I was 15, and I think there's a difference between four and five, and 15, because by 15 now you're well-grounded. As Ethiopians, I think all of us in this room know our parents or whatever, the sense of self-worth is very high, is very high. We may be poor, maybe a poor country, there may be whatever. But as far as feeling very comfortable in our own skin and a sense of, in some cases, we're the chosen people, right? You know that, we have that sense. Yes, you see a lot of those types of things, but I think when you come at an older age, where you really are very comfortable in who you are, and especially if you know the language English well, I mean, I went to an English school back home, so our language was never an issue and it was like oil and water.Some of these things would happen. I never felt the need to change what I ate, what I did. I think that was because I came here at an older age, and I was very, very assured and comfortable in my Ethiopianness, and the fact that we are a culture of people with a long history, with a very deep culture, and a lot of things to be proud of.”

20

“But you realize that that's being diluted as well. There was a time where wearing traditional clothes wasn't cool anymore. It was seen as super lame, or whatever to wear traditional clothes. Now, that sentiment is going away, and people are starting to embrace more cultural aspects. But I don't know if that's just aesthetically, or if they're really being proud of the culture, because we have a rich history, not much colonial influence” 21

“You know the concept of the pendulum swing? I think when the culture, just speaking broader on American politics, is moving so far to the right, almost dare I say fascists, in some communities, in some areas. There's also that direct pendulum swing back with minority communities, which I appreciate and I definitely see what you're talking about where there's, especially with Orthodox people, there's a resurgence of that national identity, and pride. I think, also with the political situation in Ethiopia right now, you see a lot more people, whether they're Oromo, they're being more proud of their Oromo heritage, whether they're Tigray, Amhara, there even the different tribes are being represented.”

groups, reinforcing the richness of diversity within their culture.22 Some members have reflected on their ability to maintain this pride even outside of the Ethiopian community, specifically in becoming comfortable and proud of their identity in the broader context of the United States.

One member mentioned how the older age at which they immigrated to the United States influenced their ability to feel stable, self-assured, and proud of their cultural identity.23

22

“I didn't know what tribe I was. It didn't even matter, until I was probably 14 or 15, when the conflict started brewing. It didn't matter. It wasn't something that we really talked about. It was only within the last, I want to say, six to eight years that it's really been prominent. But the more I'm learning about, oh, I'm Amhara, my dad is from here, my dad is from, my mom is from here, whatever, it definitely does bring about a stronger sense of identity, and pride in who I am, where I come from.”

23

“I think that's one of the things that maybe with the younger kids, or the kids who are born here struggle a lot more with than those of us Ethiopians who come here at an age old enough that really some of these things annoying as they may be, don't eat us out like maybe a younger kid who then feels like, "Hey, I need to change this to fit." I mean, I could care less what they thought, and I've had situations. You see things, and you just feel like this idiot or whatever it's like. You don't let them get under your skin.”

Discrimination: Oftentimes, Ethiopian immigrants or children of immigrants will face discrimination, whether in school, in the workplace, or just in other facets of day-to-day life. Some reasons for discrimination may be based on physical characteristics such as hair or skin color. Other times, discrimination comes from being an immigrant: having a lower fluency in English, dealing with assumptions about one’s past, and having to actively combat negative stereotypes associated with one’s home country. This section details the sort of discrimination Ethiopian-Americans face and the effect that has.

Internalized Racism In this context, internalized racism pertains to the challenge of fully recognizing one's own racial identity. Although Ethiopian-Americans are part of the Black community, there can be a disconnect in acknowledging this shared identity.24 This issue becomes more apparent when younger generations observe older generations or recent immigrants referring to Black people as a distinct group, separate from themselves, and expressing confusion when faced with discriminatory treatment.25 By fostering a stronger connection with their Black identity, Ethiopian-Americans can not only improve their own self-awareness but also have a positive impact on their children and grandchildren, who will inevitably be perceived as Black Americans.26

24

“I feel like the Ethiopian community is discriminatory in itself. How can you be so discriminatory towards black people? I literally had to bring this up to someone because–” “ ‘We’re black, but we’re not that black. We’re Ethiopian.’ ” “I had to bring this up because I forgot who was at my house and we were talking about this, but they were like ‘Yeah, I can’t believe Black people are doing this like this.’ I was like–” “Have you looked in the mirror?”

25

“You're black. The first sight they see you, you're black. [Someone] brought this up too because he was like, there is one time where he was followed throughout the store because they thought he was going to steal something and things like that. And I'm like, "There's no way you think just because you're Ethiopian, you get away with stuff like that." People are still racist towards you. You're not a different–” “You’re not white.”

“A disconnect between people who are African-American and people who are first-gen” 26

“But that's why I think that, across the diaspora, we need to have broader conversations about how we relate to our black identity, because eventually two, three generations down, if we do choose to continue having kids, and not go back to where we came from, our children would eventually lose so much of that original culture, and be more assimilated, or fully assimilated into American culture, perceived as African Americans. I think, across the diaspora, these conversations need to happen of like, are we helping with the struggle? Are we helping with voting rights issues? Are we helping with redlining issues? Are we included in these conversations, because our children will be affected in the long run? They would not have a country to go back to, the way we do. Three or four generations down the line, they won't. Those issues that are currently coming up about civil rights, about redlining districts, about even new book bans that are being passed to erase, or dilute the history of what happened to the black diaspora here. Those are things that, as East Africans, we have to fight, because our future generations will be subject to the same.”

Language Barriers Overcoming discrimination stemming from language barriers requires a multifaceted approach rooted in education and empathy. The assumption that someone is uneducated solely based on their accent or language proficiency is not only unfair but also detrimental to the individual's prospects. Establishing a dedicated space for immigrants to hone their language skills is pivotal in helping them secure employment and reducing discrimination. This initiative is particularly crucial for individuals who were once professionals in their native country but encountered obstacles in the US job market due to language barriers.27 While the main goal would be to improve fluency, the self-esteem issues that may arise from struggling with English must also be addressed. The community must foster an environment that is both supportive and compassionate, recognizing that lacking language proficiency can deeply affect one's pride and dignity.28 By promoting education, understanding, and a sense of unity, communities can dismantle these barriers and ensure equal opportunities for all residents, regardless of their linguistic background.

Microaggressions Dealing with microaggressions can be a deeply challenging and sometimes even traumatic experience. Even if someone hasn't personally encountered discrimination, witnessing these subtle acts of bias can evoke strong feelings of shame. For instance, imagine observing a fellow student being unfairly labeled with a serious illness like Ebola simply because she had a common cold and happened to be of African descent.29 Many individuals in the East African community often have to grapple with microaggressions and bullying, especially in predominantly white environments. These hurtful comments and actions insinuate that one is 27

“I think that a lot of people are being held back from better jobs, because of language skills. I think it is really, really, really important to recognize that. And then a lot of people just get used to, they come, there's that language barrier, they just find whatever job they can, and then they just go with that. It makes me feel sad, because if they were to improve their language skills, and maybe they could get that professional job that they deserve. I think finding ways as a community to have that resource available for new immigrants who may not be as conversant with English, to be able to get that, I think that would help a lot. I don't know how we can do it, but I think, I see that as being one of the things that holds back a lot of people who held professional jobs back home” 28

“I think it really impacts somebody's self-esteem as well as their career, as well as just the way they relate to people, when there is a language barrier. The older you get, the harder it is to learn a language.

Yeah. If there's no structured education, or educational opportunity to learn the language, even with the accent, to have some level of grammar, or just a base communication level would be helpful.”

29

“But during the Ebola epidemic, there was... Everybody knows, and because there was such a large Ethiopian population, we pretty much stuck together in school, all throughout grade school. But a girl came down with a cold, I'll never forget, her name was Yasra. She came down with a cold, she was really sick, she was out of school. It was a running joke that this girl was infected with Ebola and it was... We were the only African population, there was not very many Somalis in my area. Majority of the African population was Ethiopian or Eritrean, in my area, and it was just disheartening. That was when the shame started. That was when the forced assimilation of myself started, even though I didn't want to straighten my hair, even though I didn't want to, I wanted to bring my own food to lunch, what we ate at the house, I didn't want to eat school food.”

somehow inferior or doesn't belong,30 creating a pervasive sense of otherness. However, developing a strong sense of pride in your cultural identity can serve as a source of resilience when faced with microaggressions. In response to these demeaning behaviors, people tend to react in one of two ways: some may exhibit indifference, a sign of their self-assuredness and comfort in their identity, while others may feel a profound sense of shame as they strive to conform to Western cultural norms and beauty standards.

Shame Growing up in a society that often prioritized conformity to Western norms could lead to a profound sense of shame about one's features and identity, even when individuals weren't personally subjected to discrimination. Not just experiencing, but also witnessing subtle yet hurtful microaggressions could sow the seeds of self-doubt and embarrassment. For example, one participant recalled a time when they watched as a service worker treated their father as unintelligent simply because of his accent,31 serving as a stark reminder of the biases ingrained in society. Another participant shared that witnessing older siblings and peers attempting to assimilate into the dominant white culture also led to feelings of inadequacy and reaffirmed that they too should take steps to assimilate by straightening their hair to hide their natural curls.32 This ongoing longing for acceptance paired with a constant bombardment of negative messages about one’s features leads to a deeply negative perception of one’s self.33 30

“They won't tell, it's a microaggression. They won't tell you to your face, but there's always that subtle hinting of like, ‘Oh, you are not used to this. You're not used to cars, you're not used to roads and buildings. You're not used to internet access.’ It's implied, you don't hear it outright. It's almost like a dog whistle, but it's there.”

31

“My dad has a language barrier... When he bought me my first car, we went to the tag office to switch the registration... My dad is a very educated man. We all have that, our parents, they get educated back home, but they end up doing labor jobs here, because they couldn't transfer their credits, or maybe their degree is not respected here. But that was the situation with my dad, and he's a labor worker, but he's very educated. He's been in this country for, I think, 20 years at that point. The lady behind the counter was speaking to him, solely because of his accent, his grammar is perfect, as if he was a toddler. It really, it grinded my gears and I asked her. I said, ‘Do you treat all immigrants with an accent this way? He can understand what you're saying.’ She was taken aback. Maybe it was on her part, subconscious, me just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. But when I'm around people who have a more difficult time assimilating than I do, there's definitely a difference in treatment between somebody who assimilates very well versus somebody who doesn't. That also makes me internalize a lot of those things and be like, ‘Oh, this is really how they think of us. This is really how they treat us. This is how they feel about us.’”

32

“And then seeing [my older sibling] trying so hard to fit in middle school. Especially when we went to [a new town], it's like all white kids, white Jewish kids and him buying these really expensive shoes just to fit in, show other kids like, "Hey, I do have money." And then me straightening my hair from kindergarten all way to eighth grade. I forgot I had curly hair, which is so sad to say. Yes, I was see in the shower, but at the same time I was like, do you know what I don't want to see it. I'm not going to acknowledge it. Let's just straighten it. My hair is damaged because of that.”

33

“I never had this issue. But then when I went to first grade, I started seeing more and more of it to the point where I was like, ‘I want blue eyes. I don't want this skin color. I think I'm ugly. I don't like my hair. My hair looks terrible.’ And I had people telling me the same thing. ‘Why is your hair like that? Why do you look like that?’”

Belonging: This section focuses on the dynamics of belonging within the South Florida Ethiopian community. It explores the significance of finding a welcoming space where individuals can freely engage in conversations, contrasting the challenges of feeling excluded, judged, or silenced due to cliques or disrespect. By understanding the factors that foster inclusion or exclusion, the community can strive to become more open, cohesive, and supportive for all its members.

Inclusion Belonging to the local Ethiopian community in South Florida holds immense significance for its members. The feeling of belonging within this close-knit group allows individuals to engage in open and authentic communication without apprehension. This communication extends beyond discussions about East African culture, encompassing all aspects of life. The community serves as a valuable resource, facilitating the sharing of educational and work opportunities among its members. Celebrating important holidays and traditions together strengthens the bonds within the community, creating a sense of unity and shared experiences not only within the Ethiopian community but also within the broader East African community.34 In South Florida, many view this community as an extension of their own family, offering unwavering support during both joyous milestones and times of grief. What is particularly remarkable is that this sense of belonging transcends religious or ethnic differences, fostering a genuine connection that truly exemplifies the importance of community.

Exclusion In the South Florida Ethiopian community, several barriers impede belonging and inclusivity.

One significant challenge stems from diversity, as conflicts between various ethnic groups in Ethiopia can spill over into local communities, creating tensions and divisions.35 Although the community often identifies collectively as Habesha, the absence of recognition for specific 34

“There's like under-the-table understanding that East Africans have with one another. I already am building a foundation of trust with you, because we come from a similar background. Whereas a foreigner, or somebody from a different culture, there might be barriers to those kinds of close relationships. When it comes to East African relationships, there's already kind of a foundation of understanding, of mutual agreement. I think the biggest positive being an immigrant living in a country that's foreign is that there are people there that have that foundational understanding of who you are, where you come from, why you do the certain things that you do, maybe why you speak the way that you do, maybe why your beliefs are a certain way. That is a very comforting thought to have, as well as that sense of community.”

35

“However, there are just simple discussions that around your group of friends that you've known for years become, instead of people before agreeing to disagree and just leaving it at that, now there's like, they feel like they have a personal stake in the politics that they discuss in their friend groups. I think that makes these conversations a lot deeper, and people take things to heart a lot more. There are people who are being negatively affected. There are people dying, and that's one thing that I really don't like to see. I'm Saddened by it that there are these splits, and people talking so crass about ethnic groups that used to coexist peacefully before this.”

sub-cultures within the group can foster feelings of isolation and disconnection. The formation of cliques among children raised within this community exacerbates this issue of disconnection, leading to exclusion and hindering interactions with those from different backgrounds. This clique culture disrupts open communication and makes it difficult to bond with people outside of those one was raised with. Attempts at fostering community can backfire when they inadvertently create pressure to conform or make individuals feel as though they are being exploited for their resources or networking potential.36 The community's expectation of perfectionism, often evidenced through constant scrutiny and judgment37, exacerbates the sense of exclusion. Additionally, instances of disrespect, such as invasions of privacy and causing damage,38 contribute to a strained sense of belonging.

36

“And now it's all about connections. Like I mentioned, I was doing this program and then I think it was [a community member]. She's like, ‘Oh, why don't you help [a younger community member] to do that?’ And I'm like, ‘Well, I don't really talk to [that community member]. She doesn't even know I'm in the program. I only told you because you asked about school, and that's the only thing you ever asked me about.’ So it's like I really can't build a friendship with anyone. And at this age, and at this point.”

37

“But for me I think perfectionist is what comes to mind. Because every time I always felt like I have to be perfect. They're going to nitpick at me. They're going to be like, if I don't have perfect grades, they're going to ask me. They're going to be like, ‘Hey, how's school going? Are you getting straight A's?’ And I feel like that's another title that was put on me.”

38

“There's not really a lot of respect when it comes to other people's houses in our community. I know when people come to our house, at least they'll take everything we have. Even if one time someone came over and they took a full three things of brownie mix and it wasn't even open. And I'm like, ‘Why did you go through our pantry?’”

Call to Action: This section explores various instances where participants advocated for change on multiple levels, specifically on the individual, communal, and institutional levels. Adjustments in personal behaviors will not just affect the individual, but also one’s interactions with others. Changes in communal mindsets can increase feelings of openness and belonging within the community.

Organizing institutions or non-profits could address specific needs mentioned by participants.

The end goal of these changes would be to create an environment where people are not just welcomed but also supported by one another.

Personal: Within the South Florida East African community, individuals must undergo personal transformations, particularly in terms of their mindset and behaviors. While these changes are not exclusive to parents, many are particularly relevant to those involved in raising children. One essential change is the recognition and acknowledgment of Black identity, a vital step towards fostering pride and resilience in the face of discrimination, especially when it comes to raising children. By distancing themselves from their Black identity, they are also distancing themselves from race-related issues, which will not only affect themselves but future generations as well.

Children must learn to take pride in who they are, not just as Black individuals, but to take pride in their whole identity, as first-generation Americans and as East Africans. Feeling secure in and proud of one’s heritage is important to increasing resiliency from bullying and microaggressions.

Adults can encourage this pride not just by increasing children’s access to their heritage, but by actively combating stereotypes and misconceptions children may be exposed to through Western media. Educating children about the disparities between the portrayal of East Africa in U.S. media and the actual reality can help to reduce the pressure on children to conform to Western cultural standards. Lastly, there should be less pressure placed on children, allowing them the space to explore their identities and interests without undue expectations. These personal changes within the community will foster a more inclusive and supportive environment for all.

Communal: Several changes need to be made within the community as a whole. First, prioritizing more frequent community events can play a pivotal role in preserving the culture and strengthening social bonds, both for the present community and the generations to come. At the same time, however, with each event, people must learn to show respect to each other's spaces and boundaries, as a lack of such respect can convey a sense of devaluation to the affected individuals. Promoting greater openness among us is essential, as often experiences remain unshared.39 Sharing these experiences could reveal numerous commonalities and foster 39

“For instance, this call, it's been an hour, it's been an invaluable call. I've learned a lot from all of you, and definitely having, talking about this, because there are a lot of things that I think maybe we experience, and maybe we internalize, but maybe we don't have anyone around us to share it with.

Definitely, conversation starting.”

camaraderie. Even in areas where we may not relate, there exists the potential for mutual learning. Broadening our conversations beyond tight social circles and engaging in diverse dialogues, along with being more inclusive in our interactions, is crucial. Supporting one another, particularly those who have recently immigrated to the U.S., is vital for aiding each other in English proficiency and professional development.

Institutional: In South Florida, there is a growing initiative to establish a dedicated center or institution aimed at supporting the East African community. The community has voiced several key areas where they believe additional support is essential. Firstly, there is a strong emphasis on fostering good ethics and moral values among children, with parents seeking opportunities for their kids to engage in meaningful volunteer work that instills qualities like gratitude, respect, and kindness.

Additionally, there is a pressing need for a central, safe space where individuals, especially children, can immerse themselves in their cultural heritage and traditions. While churches have been considered as potential cultural hubs, the community also seeks a non-denominational center that can serve as a cornerstone of their collective identity. This center would play a pivotal role in documenting and preserving cultural traditions, ensuring broader accessibility.

Lastly, language skills improvement and professional development assistance, particularly for recent immigrants facing challenges due to cultural differences. Importantly, these efforts should be facilitated in a non-judgmental peer-supported environment, as it is recognized that struggling in these areas can negatively impact self-esteem.