Lives in Brighton
Age 47
Psychiatric nurse, Mum
On trapeze at The Circus Project in Brighton
On bicycle
I think I’d always really worried about this time in my life. There’s so much more in the media now and it feels a lot more talked about. It’s just a really taboo thing, so I’ve been on my own mission and I want to find out as much as I can because I’ve been so worried that it’s going to be really awful, that it’s going to destroy my life and I’m not going to be able to function!
I’m a mental health nurse. I’ve had my own mental health stuff, so I’m always really on it with my health. I think I started to notice a change in my cycle when my 17 year old daughter started her periods 5 years ago. I had had a really regular cycle and then it suddenly went down to about 3 weeks. From then they have been so much shorter. I didn’t really have any other symptoms. Just over a couple of years ago I started getting nights sweats. Even then, I didn’t really notice properly. I just kept thinking “Oh, that’s really weird’I just keep getting really hot at night”.
More and more symptoms started to creep in. Because I do a lot of sports I started to notice it in my hands, the joints in my fingers were really stiff. I remembered what my gran’s hands were like; she’s not alive anymore, but they were really gnarly. I thought maybe I’m just getting arthritis really young. Then I started to read about the peri-menopause and I thought “Yes I’m in the peri- menopause”. I guess a negative is that it feels like you’re definitely entering a different phase of womanhood and life.That is really quite difficult at times. I mean, I’m 47, I wouldn’t want to have a baby any more, but it’s the fact I wouldn’t be able to.
My opinions of my friends going through peri-menopause haven’t changed, but I guess there’s so many negative connotations about the menopause that you can’t help but take them on board. I’m really trying to challenge them outwardly and in my own head.
I don’t care as much about things. I do feel more liberated. It feels really positive finding out more about the menopause , experiencing it and being able to talk to younger women about it. I didn’t have anyone to talk to because my mum didn’t talk about anything she really didn’t like. She’s not around any more either, so even if I wanted to talk to her about the menopause I wouldn’t be able to. I have a really open relationship with my daughter. I hope that as she goes through her life as a woman it’ll be a different experience for her.