Age 55
Fashion Designer
In the window of workshop
In the workshop
The advert for the exhibition resonated with me, something made me think ‘I just want to do this’.As a fashion designer I have to look the part, but have been having menopausal symptoms for the last few years. People don't really know or see that side of me; it’s all about the image.
I feel like I've got to own it, and the real defining factor for me was having a conversation with my daughter about this project, and her saying to me ‘well you’re not going through menopause are you?’I said to her ‘I’m 55, what did you think, that I was just going to skip it?’
I’ve never spoken to a medical professional about it, apart from a nurse who didn't give me any information or tell me anything, and that was basically it. Because we’re not encouraged to talk about it openly as women, I never asked. My mum – who went through menopause early – had serious problems with HRT, which has made me scared to take it. Even though that was in the 90’s and things have changed.
One minute I can be on top of the world, and the next I can be at rock bottom. I think if I go and talk to somebody about it they will just give me anti-depressants, but I know it’s not depression. Sometimes I’m physically exhausted; some mornings it can take me three hours to leave the house. It’s like you’re in this cloud, this fog, quite a lot.
I’ve still got the responsibility of my business I still perform well and make sure I meet all my deadlines so people would never know. But people should know. I think if it was a male condition it would have been recognised, I still think we are living very much in a male dominated society I’m much more confident a person than I was, I know what my capabilities are and I don't take any nonsense from people; I’ve gone through all this life experience and I’m still holding my own. I feel I get a lot more respect than I ever recognised before.
Because I work for myself, if I do feel terrible I can start late, or come home early, but I don't actually mind now saying can we move your deadline? I like that side of me that I’m not afraid to say that now I do suffer a lot from insomnia, which is probably why I can't get going in the mornings.
My happiest place is when I’m dancing, that is my therapy. I have been a dancer all my life, so finding salsa and kizomba again four years ago was one of the best things I’ve ever done.
Anna