Lives in Margate
Radio Presenter/DJ, Unpaid community workerOutside Olby’s
I had my first flush when I was 41, sitting at the breakfast table. I started fanning myself, and my friend’s husband said - “I recognize that fanning, it’s what women of a certain age do when they’re in the menopause” and I went “huh?”, and I think I thought I was too young. Fast forward toApril ’98, when I had a confirmed diagnosis of breast cancer, which required a full mastectomy, months of the wound healing, followed by intensive chemo. The nurses did confirm that the chemo would put me into a chemical menopause. My chemotherapy treatment lasted a year, plus radiotherapy on top of that because the younger you are, the cells multiply quicker and they have to whack you with it.
I started to notice that I was having hot flushes again, it must have been around 2000. I thought “this is weird, this is meant to be all over.”Then I was told that the flushes can go on for years and years after you actually stop producing eggs. I noticed I got them when I was anxious or stressed. I didn't do the fanning bit but I just felt this heat - it went from 0-60 – sort of radiating from me.
I used to travel to work by tube, so I’d dress for the outside world; get on the tube, and then start wanting to peel off all my clothes. I thought “this is ridiculous”.
I had a major life change around about 55, when I left London, and came to Margate.And I thought I’m going to settle this once and for all. I got my GP to get me tested to see where I was at in terms of menopause, and it was duly announced that I was post-menopausal. But that took about 9 years really, to be fully-well.
To be honest, I was fed up with reading books about this, so I just relied on the experiences of other women.Then I did the test. I occasionally had a flush and other women said to me “it can go on way into your 50’s and early 60’s”, but I think that’s more an anxiety reaction than a menopausal flush, because I’m post, post, post menopause! They do say you tend to follow your mother as well, and I periodically remember asking her if she was still having periods. I think she went on to about 52/53 before they finally stopped.
I read stuff about it, I hear things about it on the radio, like on Women’s Hour and places like that, but I can’t recall sitting round having chats with my friends, unless somebody was having a really bad menopause. I’m not quite sure why. Is it one of these forbidden subjects that we don't talk about? Or secret - we only talk about it in whispers. So, until I was asked to be involved in this, I hadn't really thought about it properly for a long time.