Lives in Sheffield
Age 57
Mother, wise woman
With good friend Saskia
In Saskia’s kitchen
I'm sure lots of people have stepped outside of their comfort zones to do this. The reason I wanted to do this is because I am surrounded by a lot of younger women on a different journey in a different time frame. I want to make sure that they have a voice and that they have someone to listen to. I didn't have that. I don't even remember when I stopped having periods, but I remember telling an aunt and her response was “Well, you just have to get on with it, don't you Fozia”. That was the end of the conversation.
I spent time abroad in Kenya with my Yemeni family The way they talked about the female body and the female experience was very much alongside what my aunt was displaying, a kind of puritanical shutting down of avenues of communication. None of it was informative. None of it was celebratory So I realised we've got two parts of the world with women experiencing things in close quarters with each other in group communities who weren't talking about it at all. I wanted all the girls and women that were behind me to have someone that they could explore that with.
The other thing is blood. I was starting to understand that there's something about the nature of blood that was stopping us as women communicate. The woman ahead of us had this notion that we don't talk about blood, we just make sure that it's hidden and then when we don't talk about when it ends. I was somebody who, because my periods started at nine, was very much involved in a cycle of anxiety and pain. I felt shut down and isolated.
Your body is doing something so incredible every month, and we’re linked to the moon. When it stopped I remembered feeling so mournful about the fact that I would no longer be having blood. Then I started thinking about before religion came in. There's evidence of an ancient Yorkshire tribe called the Brigantes who were either female-centric or had parity with the male side.At that time wisdom within women was still seen as wisdom rather than witchery.You gain wisdom through things happening. We can feel very divided and disconnected from ancient people. It would be quite an achievement for a woman to have reached that age several thousands of years ago. When religion and patriarchy happened things changed. What was devastating to me was when I realised that depictions of witches are actually menopausal women.
Talk about it, you can celebrate womanhood. Women around the world who are either from indigenous cultures or reclaiming their past describe menopause as being the “white moon”. Instead of having periods you're having a white flow, you are still in the cycle. We’re present, we're valuable, not just for all the younger ones, but because we now are claiming a space for ourselves.