Age 45
Teacher at home
With mirror ball In garden
I’m 45, and I’ve been peri-menopausal for about five years, with feelings of increased anxiety, struggling to deal with stress, and developing a rage. I looked it up, and there is something called the peri-menopausal rage. I worried about how my extreme moods would affect my child’s formative years. When I developed insomnia, and my daughter’s teenage brain and hormones had kicked in, we both became teenagers in the same space. Which is not ideal if you have the intent to raise a confident and kind person. I took the leap, went to the doctor’s and started monitoring my cycle with an app.The gaps weren’t 30 days anymore, more like 100, 50 or 20 days. The doctor sent me for a blood test, and it came back normal so I wasn't given any support and I let it be for a year Then they gave me anti-depressants, which I didn't take because there weren’t any reasons per se for me to be feeling down. I went on forums, found Facebook groups, a menopause cafe, lectures, multiple books, and then went back to the doctors and he said patronisingly “you’ve been googling it”. I had to do another blood test - by this time I hadn't had a period for 140 days - they came back and it was decided I was in the peri-menopause.
They suggested the coil, patches, but I knew what I wanted. I took a picture in. I got the body identical gel and the tablets, I wanted the freedom to play around with the dose until I got the right one for me. I’m much calmer now. I laugh a lot with my kid again, she’s in the category of miserable teenager and it’s hilarious, whereas before I would have felt insulted or disrespected. I’m like -“what was I on?” that I just became so reactive. I wasn't holding space for her even though I tried. It’s debilitating in terms of joint pain and bloating. I’ve developed gluten intolerance, impatience, and brain fog, but I feel empowered to be my true self. It’s almost like I’ve become this eighty year old woman now who isn’t filtering her responses any more. I call a spade a spade now Another thing is with toxic friendships I’ve had for years, which I used to hold onto, I can just let go of them without feeling guilt, sadness or misery.
I can’t be bothered with drama anymore. Life has simplified itself. It’s only because I’m taking Estrogel and Progesterone. Three months ago I would have bitten anybody's head off for looking at me sideways!There was a point in the staff room where somebody would say something and I would start an argument with them, so I started having my lunch in my class room. But now I feel like I did when I was pregnant with my child. I am relaxed, good natured and emotionally stable. I just hope it lasts longer than 9 months.
Handan