Lives in Cardiff
Age 50
Former grocer in Uganda, Mother, volunteer in Cardiff
Next to posters of local gigs
Catching some sun in Cardiff Bay
I’m originally from Uganda. I’ve been living in Cardiff for almost 16 years. I’m still an asylum seeker I’m still awaiting my status. I am 50 and started getting the signs last year. Sometimes I get a hot flush.You’re just sitting there, and you start sweating really badly and you think “Oh, is this a high fever or what?” Within seconds, you get cold and start shivering. You get confused; you don’t know exactly what’s wrong with your body.This might make you panic and think it’s something else because we don’t know it’s the menopause.Aminute later you get annoyed about nothing! My friends were worried about me. They said “The Joyce we know? She was a lovely woman, laughing and joking, but when you ask her something small she gets annoyed so quick!” I didn’t realise those were the signs of menopause until I Googled it.
I had a hysterectomy 10 years ago, so I was thinking I might not go through it, but because they left my ovaries in my hormones are still active and working like any other woman. When it comes to relationships, you don’t want your man to touch you. You are still a woman, but you feel really bad. Sometimes I think it breaks relationships.Aman might think “This woman is no longer interested in me; this woman might be cheating on me.”
The menopause changes you, it changes your body.You become a different person, it changes your hormones. Sometimes you get vaginal dryness, and when you are not aware of that you might think that something is wrong. Menopause can make you put on weight and this can cause problems. I got a lot of joint and muscle pains. When you get to the end of that you will be free. You won’t need to worry about periods or things like sore breasts.
Uganda doesn’t have healthy hospitals or healthy equipment. Women normally have their own treatment using herbs. InAfrica when women become that age they try to hide. Instead of coming out and asking for advice they just suffer. Back home if you express your problems as a woman they say that you are shaming your husband or your partner, so you just keep quiet. When you talk to someone they may open up to you, but they might say “don’t tell anyone, I don’t want anyone to know”. Society sees it as shameful, but I don’t.
When you get older you are relaxed because you don’t have to worry about this and that like a young person. It is a time to look after yourself and talk to younger women about it.