Lives in Margate
Age 50
Artist andArt Teacher
At home with Olive the cat
In Walpole Bay Tidal pool
Periods are not that pleasant so when they finally go it’s a bit of a relief. There is something about being a menopausal or post-menopausal woman that gives you a kind of matriarchal tendency People listen to you in shops. What I say goes! In some ways you get ignored, but in other ways it’s like, “Here comes trouble!”.
Negatives are that I never thought I would experience rage like that in my life (before I got on HRTwhich is a positive by the way). I couldn't control the way I was feeling. Everyone talks about the sweats.That is horrible, but this was like a real roller coaster And the anger about nothing. Then you realise there’s something else going on here. HRThas lessened that a hell of a lot so that’s great.
I’ve just had my 50th birthday so I’m dealing with that thing of the big Five-O and being post-menopausal and its contrast with when I turned 40 when I had a complete episode about the whole thing - there’s something really freeing about it.
Me and my husband were talking earlier about how we tried to have kids and we couldn’t conceive. Very shortly after that I was told that I was peri-menopausal. I do feel a tinge of sadness sometimes, but most of the time I feel like that part of my life is over and it’s like, “what’s next?”
You find that there are other people and children in your life that you can have amazing relationships with and you can be maternal/paternal in other ways. You can do different things.As I’m a teacher as well I find I’ve had an effect on children growing and learning. It’s not necessarily a negative that it didn't happen for me.
Really it’s all open. In this day and age we have so much more freedom generally, fundamentally, if you don't have kids to take care of it’s all open to explore what we want to do next, and that’s a real positive actually.
Being menopausal allows me to think about what happens next, moving onto a second or third phase. Exploring creativity, exploring how I feel about being an older woman in today’s society because it’s such a tough time now. But at the same time everything's really febrile politically and with feminism.Things are changing quickly which is a good thing, and it might feel a bit panicky but it feels like there’s something happening, something in the air. It’s coming at a time when I feel like I can express myself more and I don't really care what other people think, so that is a positive definitely