M.L.T.S. Magazine -- Issue 2 -- Fall 2011 -- Lori Wilson

M. L. T. S.

Fall 2011

NBC 10’s

LORI WILSON

Madd Business Skills

1ST PERSON:

I’m in an Open Relationship

3 COOL TRENDS

Facts About 5Singer Joy Ike

50 Ways to Rock College

M.L.T.S. Magazine CONTENTS MOST STYLISH

Talking Smak Boutique owners and best friends Abby Kessley and Katie Loftus talk to Rosella Eleanor LaFevre about business and reworked vintage tees. (9)

From Runway to Hallway Hillary Biggs reports on how to wear three of fall’s hottest trends. (10)

Five Collegiate-Inspired Pieces

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MOST BEAUTIFUL She’s Got Madd Skills Amie Moderson, the girl crazy enough to start her own beauty empire, talks about Madd Style Cosmetics with Allison Hardin (13)

Five-Minute Face Late for class? Kirsten Stamn offers some tips to get a polished look in minutes. (15)

MOST LOVED When Daddy’s Gone Experts are finding evidence of the effect of an absentee father on his daughter’s love life, according to writer Nichole Fray. (16)

Breaking Glass Nichole Fray investigates the obstacles women face at work and how to overcome them. (25)

MOST ENTERTAINING Five Things to Know About Singer Joy Ike (26) Suggested Reading Trance of Insignificance, All Our Worldly Goods, Birds of Paradise. (27)

Suggested Viewing Abduction, 50/50, Like Crazy, Tower Heist, Jack and Jill. (26)

I’m in an Open Relationship Sassy Khadijah shares the dirty details of her twice-as-busy-as-yours love life. (17)

The Love Doctor (20)

MOST VALUABLE 50 Ways to Rock College (21)

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IN EVERY ISSUE 4 Editor’s Letter 7 MLTSMag.com 46 Contributors

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FEATURES Sunny Eyes Up Old men love waking up with NBC 10’s Lori Wilson and if you could muster up enough energy at 5 a.m. to turn on your TV and keep your eyes open, so would you. By Rosella Eleanor LaFevre.

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Go For Bold If the eyes are the windows to the soul, we’re all for colorful window treatments. Makeup artistry by Allison Hardin. Photography by Michele Elaine Hannon. (34)

This Summer I... Traveled; Interned; Volunteered (38)

That’s So Raven This fall, keep things low-key with

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rock ‘n roll-ish clothes and accessories. Photography

by Bianca Crespo. (40)

“LIKE” US TODAY, WE’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER! http://www.facebook.com/mltsmag

Editor’s Letter

THE

E R MO

O H P EFFORT O S

“Hi. I’m Rosella, and I’m a junior magazine journalism major. Last March I started my own magazine called M.L.T.S. Magazine. It stands for Most Likely to Succeed, and it’s for young women in college who are interested in their careers.”

I’m speaking to my classmates in Mosaics 2, a humanities requirements for undergraduate students at Temple University. My tongue is tripping over the words, my chest is tight in nervousness.

Yesterday was the start of classes at my school and in each class, my classmates and I have had to say a few words of introduction. I’ve made these remarks several times now and yet I’m still a little nervous talking to a large group of my peers.

Who knows why? For some reason I’m a lot more confident when the words flow through my pen (or fingers) than when they flow through my mouth.

I wonder if our beautiful cover girl Lori Wilson, morning anchor on NBC 10, one of Philadelphia’s most-watched news stations, notices a difference in speaking to a camera versus a real live audience. Mostly, I doubt it. When I met her for our story, she carried herself with as much grace and poise as I would have expected.

In addition to our interview with Lori Wilson, I’m excited about our “50 Ways to Rock College,” a list of tips to improve every facet of the college student’s life. Hopefully, you’ll be intrigued by Khadijah’s account of her open relationship (17), or as we like to call it, her “twice-as-busy-as-yours” love life. Surely, you’ll be interested to learn that two best friends and successful boutique owners financed their business with credit cards (9). Also, we’re loving the story of Amie Moderson’s success in the beauty field with her line of products called Madd Style Cosmetix (13). And what did you do this summer? On pages 38 and 39, you’ll find stories of summers spent very differently.

As with any sophomore effort, we hope you’ll find we’ve improved some (our sleeker look is exciting, no?), although we fully admit we’ve got a lot to learn. That said, please let me know what you think of the magazine. Love!

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M.L.T.S. MAGAZINE ROSELLA ELEANOR LaFEVRE editor in chief KIRSTEN STAMN fashion & beauty editor MICHELE ELAINE HANNON photography editor WRITERS HILLARY BIGGS BIANCA CRESPO CHRISTOPHER DOCTOR NICHOLE FRAY KRISTIN GILLETTE ALLISON HARDIN TORI MARCHIONY NIESHA MILLER PUBLIC RELATIONS TEAM ASHLEY ANDRUCYK SAMANTHA MADERA

WE WANT YOU ON OUR TEAM! This page is called the masthead. It’s where we list all the people who do great things to ensure that M.L.T.S. Magazine has fantastic content in these pages. We’re the ones who want to see you, our readers, succeed. How would you like to see your name on this page?

We’re always looking for new talent to contribute to our quarterly magazine and daily blog.

Some of the contributors we need include editors, writers, photographers, stylists to work on photo shoots, makeup artists and hairstylists to work on fashion and beauty editorials as well as contribute written content.

If you’re interested, we want to hear from you. Send us resumes, previously published clips, photos of your work, ideas for articles and photo shoots, and completed works. Anything you’ve got, we want to see. Send it to mlts.magazine@gmail.com.

We look forward to working with you!

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MLTSMag.com Talking with mark. reps...

We talk to real women about things they’re excited about, including working with mark. cosmetics.

What have you learned or accomplished while involved in the program?

Tiffany Brown: mark. has been very beneficial to me as I have grown as a person from high school to college, and now, as a young professional. I have learned how to organize my time effectively, become a selfstarter, and motivate myself to reach new heights. Beyond that, I have strengthened my interpersonal skills.

Growing up, I was quiet and shy around people I did not know. Now I am not afraid to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger about my business or give a presentation to a room full of other representatives.

The value of these skills is immeasurable. They are things that you cannot learn through a textbook in college, but are imperative to becoming a successful leader in any career.

Three steps to staving off a hangover:

1. Hydrate. Drink Drink a least two classes of water before you go to bed. 2. Medicate. Take two ibuprofen with your water to stay ahead of the headache curve. 3. Eat something. Crackers, rice cake, cereal- it doesn’t have to be a feast, just get something carb-y in before you go to sleep. This will cut down on the acidity that you experience in the morning. When you wake up, repeat.

- Tori Marchiony

Full Body Detail’s Tori Marchiony regularly offers up new exercises and healthy lifestyle changes, including this:

Check out M.L.T.S.’s quote of the day, occasionally featuring my wise words!

When ordering breakfast at Dunkin’ Donuts, order these items, which are healthier for you than other choices.

Egg white turkey sausage flatbread (280 calories). A good mix of carbs and protein to start your day in a wholesome way. Flavored coffee. Hazelnut, french vanilla, blueberry and raspberry are just a few of the options they offer, and each one tacks on less than 50 calories to your brew-a much healthier and cheaper alternative to getting a mocha-caramel-frap-coolatta-latte (or whatever they call them at DD).

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Salesmen: Gary Feldman Christopher Doctor

Talking Smak

Most Stylish

Pictures: Smak Parlour owners Abby and Katie, shot by . Ark & Co. Barbie Strapless Dress ($68). Steed Awesome Record Earrings ($25). Smak Parlour Glamour Girl One-shoulder Dress ($68).

Boutique owners and best friends Abby Kessley and Katie Loftus talk to Rosella Eleanor LaFevre about business and reworked vintage tees.

There’s a place where the walls are hot pink, the tables are covered with lacy panties and handbags, and the gilt mirrors show your greatest desires. The walk-in closet of your dreams, this place is Smak Parlour, a boutique located at Second and Market Streets in Philadelphia.

Abby Kessler and Katie Loftus, who have been best friends since they were 15, are the owners of Smak Parlour. Since bonding over the application of black eyeliner, the two have developed a shared aesthetic.

This aesthetic translates into the “fun rock ‘n roll, retro, girly, glam, 80s, pin-up, vintage-inspired styles” they design and stock in the store.

When designing, Kessler and Loftus draw inspiration from each other. “We love looking back at different eras of fashion and getting inspired! We love bouncing ideas off each other,” they say.

Their favorite pieces on sale now are the Smak Parlour embellished vintage tees (pictured in our “That’s So Raven” fashion editorial). These pieces “have our hearts at the moment,” Kessler and Loftus say. “They are all different and, well, just plan cool. Many are wide and boxy and look awesome with Many Belles Down fitted knit skirts.”

These are the very styles the Drexeleducated ladies created when they started their wholesale clothing line SMAK by Abby & Katie in the early 2000s.

Educated in design and merchandising at Drexel University and after a year in New York City working in the fashion industry, Philadelphia-area natives Kessler and Loftus decided to open their own

Without assets, the ladies financed their business with credit cards, which “absolutely” scared them boutique in which to sell SMAK by Abby & Katie.

They derived the name Smak Parlour from the name of their line, which they loved because it has many connotations and is “playful and fun,” and the sewing parlor where they created their pieces.

“We were making ‘Smak’ in the ‘Parlour’ and so it became!” they recall.

Without any assets, the ladies financed their business with credit cards. This move, they say, “absolutely” scared them but “it was our only choice if we wanted our dream to come true.” And they handled it beautifully, paying off their debts in three years with manageable monthly payments.

For the first four years, they exclusively sold pieces from their own line. They have since expanded and added indie designers to the mix. Kessler and Loftus explain, “We buy what we want to wear when looking for new designers and hope other people will want it too!”

Apparently they do, as it has been six years since these best friends opened Smak Parlour. “It’s absolutely a dream come true to work together,” Kessler and Loftus agree. • 9

From Runway to Hallway

How to wear three offall’s hottest trends: bold color, polka dots and python. By Hillary Biggs.

Prorsum, showed off color in a different way, focusing on outerwear. You can mimic his runway looks by investing in a bold winter coat. Whether you choose orange, red,

Going through the runway looks after fashion green, or pink or yellow plaid, a colorful coat is a great week is sometimes comparable to strolling through an way to brighten up those dark, dreary winter days. art museum. Some of the designers’ ready to wear piec- Designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabes just seem too trendy and extravagant to translate into bana took on every color of the rainbow in their D&G the lifestyle of the average woman. The challenge is to collection for Fall 2011. To make this colorful statement take inspiration from these visionary designers and use work in your wardrobe, stick to one loud piece like a that to create more wearable looks. blazer or a dress. If you are wearing a bright dress, go

The Fall 2011 runway shows were abound with for a nude shoe to make the look modern and elongate such inspiration. Some of my favorite trends to emerge your leg line. Color blocking is another way to wear this include bold colors, polka dots, and snake print. trend. Look for colors in the same tone that complement each other. If you are uncertain about the clashing of Bold Colors colors, shop for a color-blocked blouse to eliminate the

Royal blues, a range of reds, bright oranges, guess work. and brilliant purples were among the bold colors that Many women fear color for its notice-me effect, enlivened the runway shows for Fall. At the 3.1 Phillip so they stick to basic black and neutrals. If this bold Lim show, the designer exhibited a bold trouser pant in color trend seems too daunting start off small with a blues and greens. One way to incorporate this trend is bright accessory, like shoes or a bag. to change up a work look with a bright trouser. If you wear a colored pant to work, keep the rest of the outfit Polka Dots neutral with a black blazer and simple shoe. Another In her show, Stella McCartney took this young, way to wear the colorful trouser is with a cozy sweater girly print and made it all grown up. By executing it in and loafers for a comfortable but unique weekend look. sheer black, she infused this classic pattern with major

Christopher Bailey, the designer of Burberry sex appeal. You can copy this sexy look with a sheer 10

Pictures from left to right: Burberry Prorsum (Yannis Vlamos / GoRunway.com); Stella McCartney (Marcus Tondo / GoRunway.com); Chloe (Marcus Tondo / GoRunway.com)

Most Stylish | Trends

Most Stylish | Trends polka dot top for evening.

At the Marc Jacobs show, the award winning designer mixed two or three polka dot patterns and colors in one look. If you want to take on this ambitious styling, avoid looking like a clown by choosing subdued colors in the same palette. When done successfully, as Jacobs demonstrates, the look can be very ladylike.

If you want just a small dose of this polka dot trend, try a spotted scarf as seen on the Diane von Furstenberg runway. Choose a scarf with bigger spots to make it a bit more modern.

Polka dots can be a very tricky pattern to pull off because of its association with cute, little girl garments. One of the best ways to incorporate polka dots in a grown-up way is with a pair of patterned tights.

Once the cold weather hits, tights can be a woman’s best accessory, so stay on trend with a sheer, black polka dot pattern.

Python Skins & Prints

At the Prada show, snake skin made up many of the accessories. Snake skin shoes and bags are an easy way to incorporate this trend, but keep these items in a neutral color palette. If it is not a color seen in nature, it is best suited for the runways.

Loose, flowing fabric with a python print is even more on trend this upcoming season than the skins, as demonstrated by the new designer for Chloe, Clare Waight Keller. To achieve this look, try a snake print blouse that you can wear with jeans for the weekend or under a blazer for a more interesting work look.

Though translating runway trends into a wearable wardrobe can be a challenge, don’t be afraid to reinvent your look this season by using the creative visions of designers as your inspiration! •

Clockwise from above: Aldo Capecoral shoes in Fuschia ($90); American Apparel Medium Leather Bag in Turquoise Ostrich ($20); Charlotte Russe Python Print Pencil Skirt ($19); Tripp Orange Skinny Jeans ($29 at HotTopic.com); Forever 21 Polka Dot Chiffon Blouse ($18); Nvie Designs Trendy Python Print Handbag ($45 at Amazon.com); Michelsons of London Black Polka Dot Broad Silk Scarf ($64 at Amazon. com).

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Most Stylish | Pieces

Five Collegiate-Inspired Picks 1. The Perfect Oxfords: Great for walking around in, these are the perfect antidote for those bored to death by their ballerina flats. Pair with slim pants or with a short, flirty skirt for the best look. To buy: H&M oxfords, $34.95 2. Letterman Jacket: Warm and cozy, this jacket is the perfect mix between sporty and sexy. Wear it with simple, grown-up separates so that it doesn’t look like you’re still stuck in high school. To buy: Forever 21 Letterman Woven Jacket, $32.80 3. Boyfriend Sweater: Made of merino wool, this sweater is perfect for throwing on and running to class. With its classic shape, you can wear it with anything from jeans to trousers to skirts. To buy: J.Crew Merino Boyfriend Sweatshirt, $89.50 4. Tailored Shorts: Not too short and tailored is the way to go with shorts, especially with ones that will take you into fall and winter. These are wonderful for their cut and texture, and will go perfectly with a pair of black tights and boots once the weather gets cold. To buy: Madewell Double Dutch Shorts, $98.00 5. Kitschy Laptop Case: Protect your laptop as you haul it around campus with this adorable laptop case. Not only will it protect your computer from the perils of your book bag, but it’ll also look totally chic. To buy: Urban Outfitters Trompe L’Oeil Laptop Case, $29.00 • 12

Most Beautiful

Photos of model wearing Madd Style Cosmetix by Courtney Zepeda-Hawkes of Glamourpuss.

She’s Got Madd Skills

Amie Moderson, queen of beauty empire Madd Style Cosmetics, talks with Allison Hardin.

M.L.T.S.: First and foremost, what inspired you to start your own beauty business?

Amie Moderson: Ever since I can remember I was a very independent person. When I was little I would daydream about owning my own business, so I truly believe that I was born with that passion. My love of the arts and all-things-beauty collided when I started modeling for an indie makeup company in my late 20’s. That’s was a turning point in my life. I had always wanted to have my own cosmetics company and had researched it for years but it wasn’t until then that I realized it was possible. In the end it just came down to me asking myself, “What are you waiting for?”

I first started Madd Style as a way to bring in extra funds for my wedding and, coincidentally, my crazy makeup obsession. Back then, MSC was known as Madd Style Designs and the product featured was makeup bags and various sewn items of the sort. I was doing well, however it is very time consuming. Working a full time job on top of kick-starting a business was

starting to take its toll. However, instead of giving up, I decided to expand by actually living my dream... and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

M.L.T.S.: Are you the sole owner of Madd Style? Is anyone employed with you, or do you have any help with it?

AM: I am in fact the sole owner of MSC. I do have a personal assistant, Jessa, who is not only one of my best friends but also my saving grace when it comes to order filling days! Other than her, I like to take advantage of the love and (free) labor of my family and fiancé. Looking ahead, I have considered hiring on another person for the holidays as they tend to get a little hectic.

M.L.T.S.: What qualities does your makeup have that has boosted such popularity?

AM: MSC eye shadows – “piggiez,” as we call them – are really well known for their complex shades as well as the WOW! factor, although we do have simpler 13

Most Beautiful | Entrepreneur shades as well. There is definitely something for everyone and for all occasions.

I like providing products that other companies don’t have. Quite often I get asked to copy colors from other brands and even though I will do whatever is in my power to make my customers happy, I try to steer clear of these requests. I want to make my own name in this business with my own original product. Perhaps I am stubborn, but I believe that drive is what has gotten me here today. Above all else, you’ve got to be true to yourself.

M.L.T.S.: What made you choose vegan? Why is that important to you?

AM: Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a huge animal lover. And while I am not personally a fullfledged vegan, I am always watching what I put into and onto my body. I’ve held these beliefs for a very long time and it is as important to me in my business as it is in my own life, in fact, more so with MSC. Since I hold the same values as my customers in these regards, I know how limited the market is for trusted vegan cosmetics. To put it simply, the reason it’s important to MSC is because it is an important part my lifestyle and I wouldn’t sell anything that I wouldn’t personally buy.

www.maddstyle.artfire.com Clockwise from top: Amie Moderson; Madd Style’s Awesome Sauce; Madd Style’s Tiger’s Blood eyeshadow ($5)

M.L.T.S.: What is Awesome Sauce and what does it do?

AM: Awesome Sauce is a cosmetic mixative that can be used a multitude of ways. The most common way is to use it as a foiling medium. This not only gives your shadows a “wet” look, but it also amps up the color which really makes the pigment pop! It can also be used to mix your own eye liner using MSC piggiez. or as a lip plumper.

fire shop. I am also hoping to launch an exclusive MSC website within the next few months.

M.L.T.S.: What advice do you have for someone interested in creating and selling their own products?

AM: Find something you are passionate about and never let it go. As long as you are true to yourself and your product then everything will fall into place. Even though it’s not easy, it is worth it. Like life, running a business is M.L.T.S.: With over 2,500 fans, Facebook seems to be like a “choose your own adventure” book. Just rememwhere most of your customers find and enjoy Madd ber these words: “If it is to be, then it’s up to me.” • Style. Can you purchase through Facebook? Where For more of this interview, go to: else can you find Madd Style? http://mltsmag.com/2011/09/05/maddstylecosmetix/ AM: As of right now you can only purchase from the Art14

Picture of Awesome Sauce by Courtney Zepeda-Hawkes of Glamourpuss.

M.L.T.S.: How many different products do you offer?

AM: Right now MSC offers over 100 piggiez, lip balms, face powder and a product called awesome sauce. I am always looking to grow my line. In fact, right now in the studio I am formulating an eye primer and hope to have that tested and ready to rock within the month.

Other than cosmetics, I offer “Madd Cat” merchandise for diehard fans, like compact mirrors and stickers.

Most Beautiful | Tricks

Five-Minute Face

Late for class? Beauty editor Kirsten Stamn offers some tips to get a polished look in minutes.

When you’re in a rush, the last thing you want to worry about is putting makeup on. It’s a famously difficult thing to rush; glopping mascara on haphazardly and trying to make sure your eyeliner isn’t running all over your face is hard to do when you’re on a tight time deadline.

That’s why we’ve come up with two surefire ways to look fantastic without the mess, allowing you to grab a little extra shuteye without the stressful morning.

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The Natural Look You should always start with tinted moisturizer, as it combines two steps into one and always gives a very natural look. I love Neutrogena Healthy Skin Enhancer (1), which is available at drugstores and provides a retinol treatment, sunscreen, and oil-free coverage all in one handy little bottle. Quickly dab on concealer where needed -- I use Vichy DermaBlend (5), which is available at select CVS stores -- and sweep on blush with a large powder brush on the apples of your cheeks. Go for something sheer and bright, but without sparkles or too much shimmer. My pick is Neutrogena Healthy Skin Blends in Fresh. Sweep on taupe eyeshadow -- Stila’s powder shadow in Grace (4) is my all-time favorite -- and follow with a coat of black mascara. Throw a lip gloss in your bag -- Vincent Longo’s Baci XXX (3) is luxe, small, and the perfect shade of sheer pink -- and you’re ready to go!

Classic and Polished When you need something

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that is a little more dressy than your everyday routine, but still want it to be wearable during the day, red lips are the way to go. The key to this look is making sure that the rest of your makeup is very sparse (I usually forgo on eye shadow entirely) so that it doesn’t look like (a) you’re trying too hard and (b) that it’s too much for the daytime. Start with tinted moisturizer and concealer, following up with a mineral powder if you feel like your skin needs an extra boost. I love Bare Minerals’ Radiance powders. Your skin has got to look really great for this look to be at its best. Then, sweep on a tiny bit of blush on your cheeks and fill in your brows slightly with a pencil – you’ll be amazed at how it pulls the look together. Just don’t overdo it! Then, use a long-lasting lip color -- I love CoverGirl Outlast Lip Color in Ever Red-dy (2) -- and two coats of black mascara and you’re set! • 15

Most Loved

When Daddy’s Gone

A feeling of disappointment washes over a young girl as she reminisces on the relationship she once had with her father. The specific memory she replays is of a father-daughter dance sponsored by her Girl Scout troop. Feet placed on top of his, she’s twirling and smiling, stuck in a memory she always replays. Little does she know that when her parents divorce, Daddy will largely divorce her, too, disappearing when she needs him most.

Later in life, she finds her romantic relationships to be destructive. That early abandonment leaves her searching for someone to fill the void her father left; only the boys she chose abandoned her just like Daddy did.

This pattern of romantic failures is one I slowly outgrew. This story sounds too familiar, only because this story belongs to me. This type of story is no stranger to other young girls who grew up with the absence of their father.

Jamie Guilliams, a young woman who grew up without her father, admits it has affected her romantic relationships. Her father was absent from the time she was born up until a few years ago. “My relationship with my father has affected me romantically,” Guilliams says.

“I find myself being afraid to trust men and to let my guard down. I never let myself get close to men because I think they are going to leave just like my dad did.”

While the relationship a girl has with her father is often downplayed in comparison to the bond between a mother and her child, Linda Neilsen, author of 16

Divorced Fathers and Their Daughters: A Review of Recent Research, disagrees with this. “Many are convinced that the relationship between mothers and daughters is the most important parental relationship. While the relationship is certainly valuable, the connection that a female has with her father in many ways matters more than the one with the mother,” she writes. Missing out on a relationship with her father “leads to more troubled, more unstable romantic relationships later in the daughter’s life. In college these daughters tend to have more trouble trusting and creating emotional intimacy with men,” Neilson writes.

Philosophers like Sigmund Freud described a girl’s father as her “first love,” which is why effects on girls’ romantic relationships are often correlated with the type of relationship she had with her father. In going with the theory that a girl’s father is her “first love” it is not unusual that she looks for a man that is just like her father, whether consciously or sub-consciously, positive or negative. An article published in an academic journal of undergraduate research entitled, “Father/Daughter Relationships: Effects of Communicative Adaptability and Satisfaction on Daughter’s Romantic Relationships,” author Jessica Katorski says, “Research has found that women with abusive or absent fathers often choose partners who abuse or abandon them.”

Expert on this topic Steph Nemeth, co-author of the poster, “Father-Daughter bonds and the quality of daughter’s romantic relationships: Are the two significantly linked?,” conducted a study exploring the

Picture from the 1991 Charles Shyer film, “The Father of the Bride” (Touchstone Pictures).

Few of us have fathers like George Banks, or Annie Banks’ luck in love.

Experts are finding evidence of the effect of an absentee father on his daughter’s love life, according to writer Nichole Fray.

father-daughter relationship compared to romantic relationships. “The main focus of our study was to examine possible predictors of father-daughter relationship quality as determinants for similar qualities in a romantic boyfriend relationship,” she says. The amount of time spent with her father was found not have an effect on a daughter’s relationships with other men, although a lack of communication does. “I believe that if the daughter does have a strong connection with her father, in terms of trust, communication, and time spent together, then she will apply those qualities to her future romantic relationships,” Nemeth says.

Research has shown that the relationship a girl has with her father is predictive of the type of romantic relationship she will have with a man. It is not only the absolute absence of a father figure that can show effects, for even if the father is present, negative effects in romantic relationships will occur if the relationship is not healthy. Nielsen says, “Whether her parents are married or divorced, the daughter who has a fulfilling relationship with her father is usually more trusting, more secure, and more satisfied in her romantic relationships

Most Loved | Daddy Issues than the daughter with a troubled or distant relationship with her dad.”

Amoi Nelson and Lyndsey Butler, who both had absentee fathers, came to their own conclusions about the effect on their love lives, but say they were surprised to find experts were conducting research on this issue.

“I never knew experts realized this was an issue, a lot make sense now,” says Nelson. I myself never realized it was an issue being researched and discussed among experts.

Experts and daughters agree that the bond a daughter shares with her father is the stepping stone for her future relationships with men. In a time when divorce rates in the United States are higher than ever before it’s easy to wonder if a never-ending cycle is being created.

So what’s a girl to do when Daddy’s gone?

While I outgrew the effects that occurred, therapy or counseling may be a good idea for other young women who still struggle with severing the ties between the relationship with their father and their romantic relationships. •

I’m in an Open Relationship

Photo by Michele Elaine Hannon.

Sassy Khadijah shares the dirty details of her twice-as-busy-as-yours love life.

Michael and I have been together for six years.

Michael Anthony and I have been “together” for about a year and a half. These are the two most important men in my life. The two men that I will bend over backwards to make happy, that is figurative and literal. While I only have one official boyfriend, I have two partners. Both are sexual partners, but I am only madly in love with one.

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Most Loved | First Person in my life. The two men that I will bend over backwards to make happy, that is figurative and literal. While I only have one official boyfriend, I have two partners.

Both are sexual partners, but I am only madly in love with one.

In most relationships these days it’s so often heard, and so easily said, “I love you and I want to be with you forever.” When saying that how many people really believe that it’s possible? I am not one of those people. While I believe in love and the sanctity of relationships, I do not believe that people are meant to be with just one person for their entire lives. A lot of people think this way, but most them won’t say it aloud.

In my entire adult life I don’t believe that I have been able to be faithful. I swoon whenever the smell of attractive testosterone fills my nostrils. I approach with all intent to get what I am after – a phone number that is! I’m usually quite skilled in pulling it off. I bat my eyelashes a bit, and a smile because it is a must. I talk very flirtatiously while maybe resting my hand on his back to let him know that I totally want to feel what his body has to offer. I truly intend to one day get the gold and then take myself home to the love of my life.

Michael and I have been together since 2006.

an understatement, I was enraged, furious, irate, even resentful.

“What did you expect me to do?” he said. “You are never here and you never said I couldn’t, so you pretty much gave me permission to.”

“Really, dude? That’s your excuse? I’m going to make sure I use it when I slip and fall on someone’s bed,” I replied. I balled my fist up, ready to beat his face in, but instead I went in the bathroom ran a bath, smoked and blasted music for more than an hour. I sat in the bath and cried. I was always told, If a man can’t be with just you, he doesn’t deserve you. I thought about it and decided that I didn’t want to be with just one person. I deserved everything and everybody in this life that I was capable of having. I couldn’t walk away, I was still so completely in love with him and at that I moment I realized that he was struggling as well with being monogamous and shit does happen. I forgave him.

A few days later, I casually brought up the idea of an open relationship to Michael. “How do you feel about sleeping with other people?” I asked.

“I guess it’s fun,” he said.

“I know it’s fun,” I tell him. “That’s why I’m asking.

How do you feel about me sleeping with other men, is

I was very successful at this monogamous relationship until the dreadful day that I caught him cheating.

Initially we just hung out, both wanting something different from each other, but never saying what exactly we wanted. It wasn’t hard to figure out that he wanted sex from me; I am kind of hot after all. In a few months, both Michael and I began to get attached to each other although that wasn’t to be part of the game. We were young, attractive and highly sought after. I was highly sought after at least, can’t quite speak for him on this one. We decided that we would try it out and see how we would work as an official couple. If it didn’t work, we would just go back to the way things were: fun and sexy.

Six years later looking back I guess I can say it worked. The relationship worked, but not without its ups and downs. I was actually for a year in my life faithful to this man, despite the flings that flung themselves at me regularly. I was very successful at this monogamous relationship until the dreadful day that I caught him cheating.

That day I completely got the meaning of cheating, because I felt cheated. I felt cheated out of this awesome threesome I could have had with one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen in my life! Upset is 18

really what I’m asking here.”

Apparently we wanted to be together but we also liked the different fruits hanging outside on our trees. Why should we not eat of fruit so scrumptious?

Why should we torture ourselves by denying a natural instinct such as fucking? Such an amazing word, it can mean whatever we need it to mean that the moment.

Michael didn’t too much like the idea of me being with another man. It pissed me off that he thought it was fine for him to be with other women but not for me to be with other men. I wasn’t going for this double standard.

It took me maybe two weeks to get him to come around. I made him realize that just because you sleep with other people doesn’t mean that you love the person you are with any less. It just means that you are only human and you are being honest with yourself and your partner by telling them that you are sexually attracted to other people and if given permission you will act on your desire. Many people hide this fact in relationships and pretend that they are only attracted to the person they are with. I will not lie. I will tell you straight out of

Most Loved | First Person the gate that if Jared Leto knocked on my door, I would get naked before saying hello. That’s the truth, why run from it?

“I don’t like this idea very much. I don’t know how this could possibly work,” Michael says. “I don’t know how I will feel about another man being inside of my house. I will have to think about it for a while.” It only took eight days for him to finally decide to give it a go.

Once it was agreed we would try it, we both decided that there had to be rules:

1. Do not come home with anything you didn’t leave home with because it may be something you can never get rid of. (Meaning no diseases, babies or drama.)

Photo from the 1999 Greg Araki film, “Splendor” (Summit Entertainment).

Who says you can’t love more than one person at a time? The times are changing and I think the age of free love is returning.

2. Discretion is a must! We didn’t want to know any details of the other’s sexcapades. Don’t leave your doings out in the open. Even though we were now allowed to be with others, we didn’t want the evidence lying around. You never know how jealous you can be until you are jealous of something. Some of the implications of this rule included no phone calls when alone together and no emails left open for the other to see. And you never choose these people over the one you have at home.

3. NEVER bring them home. They are not to know where you live or anything about your home situation.

4. Try to be nice and honest with all outside parties so they know what they can and can’t get out of a relationship with you so that they aren’t expecting something that they can’t receive. Dishonesty breeds drama, which in turn will affect you bringing drama home.

I haven’t had many partners outside of the relationship. Although I have had permission, I find that for the most part, I prefer what I already have with Michael. Once you get used to someone knowing your body, knowing what you like and how much of it you like, it’s hard to teach someone else the tricks.

Only one of my outside relationships sticks out in

my mind: a relationship that I am currently still involved in. Michael Anthony, who many of my friends also found very attractive, is a younger man of a different race. He was fairly silent anytime that we saw him and, to me, quite intriguing. His build, the way he walked, and the fact that he never said anything to me made me curious about him. One day out of the blue, while in a room with mutual friends, I just casually told Michael Anthony that I was going to have a few drinks and then I was going to have sex with him. Everyone laughed but I think he knew I was serious. When our other friends left, I made good on my promise.

“You are crazy!” Michael Anthony said. “Do you normally do this?”

I told him, “Hell no!” He was actually the first guy I had been with outside of my relationship with Michael and this was more than a year after our agreement. We continued our tryst for months. And for months we said little other to talk about our respective situations. I was in a happy relationship, with no intention of leaving, and he just didn’t want a relationship. Michael Anthony was perfect for everything that I needed. Great sex and no attachment was what I found in Michael Anthony.

That was over a year and a half ago that I met Michael Anthony. Besides my Michael, Michael Anthony is the only man I have been with. (I have, however, en joyed the company of a couple pretty ladies.) We haveformed our own type of bond and respect for each other. As far as he tells me, he doesn’t have any other partners, and I believe him. We are totally honest with each other, no reason we can’t be. When I told him about my relationship arrangement, he laughed, saying he didn’t know that people actually did that. I am glad to say that we are now more than lovers, we are also good friends.

We hang out together, go out occasionally, and we try to spend as much time as we can just hanging out, since our schedules conflict.

I can actually say that as a friend I do love Michael Anthony and he has provided me with the something different that I looked for when I looked at other men. So I have no need to jump from guy to guy. I don’t see myself as promiscuous either. The way I see it is that I am in two committed relationships. It’s kind of like polygamy because it’s more than just sex it’s another person that I care deeply for in almost the same manner that I care for Michael.

Who says you can’t love more than one person at a time? The times are changing and I think the age of free love is returning. Get what you need and give what you want to share, because sharing is caring. • 19

Most Loved | Love Doctor

The World You’ve Never Known

There’s always a secret somewhere that few people ever notice. Though, few things are actually secret so it’s more like a whisper. A whisper that’s soft, but audible. A whisper that’s subtle, yet for some people a pull. So if it’s part a secret, part a whisper, part a pull, what exactly is it? It’s a world, and one possibly you’ll never know.

Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. Here’s a fact: People are born. I don’t mean from when they sprout their heads from a vagina, but in society. Most people choose a direction. I’m not sure when it happens, and how it happens could be debated, but it usually does. This direction can then be classified into a branch of society you fit into. Mark is a rock n’ roller, Susie is a hipster, George rolls like a gangster, John is a loner, and Donna is maybe none of these things at all.

The main thing to take into account about any person is their level of comfortability. If you’re not comfortable, you feel awkward and then you automatically stand out. Standing out means that you’re not standing in. This is what I call the world you’ve never known.

Let me break it down. The world you’ve never known is quite different for men and women. In fact, men typically fit into one world. Women are automatically forced to fit into many. Personally, I think this is because men are expected to lead their world. Women are expected to fit into those many worlds.

The pinnacle of manhood is leadership, which requires many things, though least of all, comfortability.

Men are taught to respect heroes and to take charge.

This unfair expectation creates a dilemma. For one, you can’t have too many chiefs and not enough indians. For two, not all men heed the calling of that world.

Example: In high school, the nerd is expected to be a jock. The nerd is not comfortable with being a jock.

Perhaps he’s not even good at being a jock. The nerd is socially awkward because he is almost naturally expected to be a jock. Even if the nerd happens to know things the jock might not ever learn, the jock fits the rule of thumb for men. Because he fits that rule for men, he is not socially awkward, and typically has more success 20

with women. The problem is not all men are jocks.

It’s all about being comfortable. It’s because of that fact that dominance open to the men who are comfortable with simply being uncomfortable. It’s quite a difficult thing to do.

The pinnacle of womanhood is class. Women are expected to show class in anything they do. Women are expected not only to do many things but to actually be good at them. Women are taught to put perfection in practice, from cooking to makeup, to almost anything else. Almost everything about a woman puts them in an uncomfortable position. This leads women to learn to be comfortable with things that are uncomfortable. Humans are creatures of habit and adaptation and women are a prime example of that.

However, the expectations that are set for them are a bit ridiculous. I ask: How do you look sexy without being slutty? How do you cook food without eating it?

How do you follow if you don’t fit in with who leads?

Some girls find ways to micro-manage these things, but usually not without blows to their self-esteem.

The fact that women are put into uncomfortable positions are why most women never feel comfortable with themselves.

Indeed, for both men and women, this is a problem.

You’ve probably heard the commercials at some point: the ones about “great” people and their “secrets,” those that allowed them to accomplish great things. The secret is, of course, their attitude. They say that these people succeeded because when they set out to do something, they felt like they already succeeded.

So other people just let them have their way. It’s quite a load of bullshit. >>Cont’d on p. 45

Photo by Kathryn Green.

In every issue, we call upon our Love Doctor, Christopher Doctor, to provide the male perspective on love. This time, he’s here with some wise words on life and society’s differing expectations of men and women.

Most Valuable

50 Ways to Rock College 1. Remember that they call it the college experience – not just an education. “The classroom is where your education starts,” says George Miller, adjunct journalism professor at Temple University. “It continues outside the classroom - with student groups, meetings with professors, special events, networking with professionals and hanging with your friends.”

Photo by Michele Elaine Hannon.

2. “Live for yourself, not for your resume,” says M.L.T.S. staffer and journalism student Tori Marchiony. “College is about giving yourself the space to experiment and find out what you truly love, and you’ll never find it if you’re obsessed with a narrow set of goals.”

3. Speaking of finding out what you truly love, David Jacobs, a history professor at Temple University, offers this advice: “This will be the only time that students will be able to choose from a variety of courses in a variety of subjects to learn about. It will be the only time that students get to sit in a class with an expert teaching a subject that the students may very little about. So, after you have completed your major [coursework], take advantage of the university. Take courses that interest you that you will never have a chance to systematically examine again. Once you graduate, you are in the work world, or in graduate school where you concentrate on your major subject. So, explore what the university has

to offer in subjects that you might never have thought about before.”

4. When scheduling your classes, learn to do it in blocks.

Instead of having two hour chunks of free time between two classes, schedule three or four in a row. We’re fans of late lunches one or two days a week when we can have off on Fridays.

5. For classes you’re less than excited about, try to take a night class – that way, you’re only stuck in the class once a week.

6. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, we’re sure you’ve heard about RateMyProfessor.com. But we thought we’d remind you of it. And let you know that sometimes, you can’t choose your class based on the professor – sometimes they don’t list the professor of the course you’re taking until a week before school starts.

But you can still use Rate My Professor’s information to tailor your studying and class performance to suit the professor and boost your chances of getting an A. 7. Know the deadlines for adding and dropping classes and for withdrawals. Know the rules for how many classes you can withdrawal and why you can choose to withdraw. You won’t always like the first section of a 21

Most Valuable | College Experience class, and sometimes a class that seemed okay at the beginning is a class you’re close to failing. Knowing this information can ensure a better GPA. 8. Speaking of scheduling, make sure to give yourself downtime at least every other day and do something relaxing. Paint your nails, watch Easy A, or listen to your favorite band.

9. Keep an open mind and “never believe that you know too much or too little,” says M.L.T.S. staffer Peak Johnson.

10. If you haven’t, take a tour of campus. And we don’t mean the kind offered by your university. Find a student who’s been there a while and who really seems to know what’s what. Ask him or her to take you all over campus, and to tell you the names for everything. Like Michael in 1999’s “10 Things I Hate About You,” he should give you the social lay of the land, too, if possible.

17. Stop yo’ bitching – it “only prolongs the pain,” says Miller. “If anything sucks, at anytime, do something about it. Boring teachers? Ask questions. Hate your major? Change it. Got a ton of homework? Start cranking it out.”

18. And, because we know you like to party as hard as 12. Don’t forget about making friends either; making you work, we offer this advice for partying smart. Go friends with the smart kids in class is a smart move. with a few friends and consume alcohol slowly. Drink lots of water before bed, take medicine and eat something 13. Also, remember that making friends can take a to avoid a splitting headache. while. “It took me until my [fourth] semester to find like minded people, but when I did the semester was more 19. This is a post-party tip courtesy of adjunct professor enjoyable,” says Johnson.

Miller: “After a night of partying, put your id, wallet, cell phone, keys and/ or any other important stuff in your 14. Think ahead. Do you need to keep a certain GPA to shoes. That way, you’ll never lose the important stuff.” attend graduate school? Should you learn another language so you can join the CIA? Know what needs to be 20. Know that there will be moments when not even the done now in order to find success in the future. world’s greatest party could relieve the stress of college. But you’ve just got to “Keep going,” says M.L.T.S.’s 15. On the subject of forethought, Vanessa LaFevre Mill- Johnson. “I took a short break before attending [Comer, a graduate student at Marywood University, says: munity College of Philadelphia], but I wish I didn’t. Col“Always get a jump start on your final paper... even if lege is hard at times, and you’ll ask yourself repeatedly it’s just determining the topic and starting some minor what are you attending for. But in the end it’s all really research.” worth it. You’ll have a different perspective on life and what it can offer you.”

16. When U.S. college students were polled, it was found that not studying abroad is one of the most com- 21. Remember that music is a major mood enhancer. If mon regrets. So study abroad! you’re bummed or stressed or pissed, put on some good 22

Photo by Michele Elaine Hannon.

11. At college, you don’t just make new friends. You will also be making the acquaintance of some individuals who will grade you. “Introduce yourself to each of your professors on the first day of class,” advises Mary Stricker, professor of sociology at Temple University. “It’s a kind gesture, and tells the professor you are going to be an active student learner.”

Most Valuable | College Experience music, sing out loud and dance along. Our days are al- in – go talk to the professor. Show them how you studied ways a little brighter when we listen to some good music. or worked and ask them where you went wrong. Don’t tell them they were wrong. Always be humble and as22. Figure out how to best digest the information in sume they’re right. If the professor cannot explain where those ridiculously expensive texts. “Certain texts need you went wrong – and lay out measures that might imto be read slowly to be fully understood,” says Frank prove your performance on the second assignment – as Fucile, an adjunct English professor at Temple University. a professor failed to do for editor in chief Rosella, then “Others can be read more quickly. Often, more difficult you should consult a higher force. texts must be reread if the student is really going to understand the meaning.”

30. If there isn’t a student group for you, found it.

23. When it comes to reading, we suggest that you break it up into manageable chunks. Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed by the prospect of several straight hours of reading. Read during your commute to class or between classes. Switch to a different subject if you find yourself struggling to pay attention or take a break.

31. Learn how to shop for books. Check ISBN.nu for each of your required texts and it will list, from lowest to highest, the best prices available.

32. If you haven’t yet, you should pick up an agenda in which you can record your schedule and all deadlines.

It makes it easier to prioritize if you know what’s due 24. In fact, experts often suggest reading for about when. twenty minutes and resting your eyes – and your brain – for five minutes. We advocate this approach.

25. “Much of academic discourse revolves around specifics of terminology and definition,” Fucile says. “In a more general sense, it is equally important to look up issues and events that are mentioned in a text. While it isn’t an appropriate source to cite in a paper, Wikipedia is excellent for providing general introductions to ideas and historical information.”

Make sure to give yourself downtime at least every other day

33. In addition to writing down all due dates in your agenda, you might want to compile a list of all homework assignments, projects and papers due – organized by due date. Having it all listed on one (or five) pages might work better for you.

26. Come prepared for class. “Always take notes and bring them (along with the text) to class so you can eas- 34. Learn the layout of your school’s library. Trust us, it ily remind yourself of the content of the text and have makes your life a lot easier if you have a paper to write and you know how to find the books you need. something to say in discussion,” says Fucile.

27. When preparing for tests, if you’re lucky enough to get a practice test, take it! Study it! Don’t waste this gift.

28. If you’re nervous or things are unclear, ask your professor as many questions as you need to so that you understand what’s expected of you on tests or projects. Just make sure to do so – in whichever method you choose – in advance. There’s nothing professors hate more (at least we think) than students asking questions in the wee hours of the morning the day of the test or when the project is due.

35. Librarians are nice people. Talk sweetly to them and they’ll teach you all you need to know about researching a paper.

36. When writing those papers, remember that often times, your best thesis is the one you write last. “Rewrite the thesis paragraph as necessary, and especially be sure to develop the details of the thesis in that paragraph given what you have discovered from going through your examples,” adjunct professor Fucile says.

“This is important because often your perspective on a topic will develop and solidify as you work through your 29. If you’ve done the preceding things and you do not examples. A paper starting from an initial premise can fare as well on a project or test as you thought you often change dramatically by the time the rough draft would – or in proportion to the amount of work you put is finished.”

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Most Valuable | College Experience

37. Learn to budget your money. If you give your financ- shopping, and attend local concerts or art events. es some forethought, they’ll be less of a burden later when what you really should focus on is your academics. 45. Keep up with local newspapers and other publications, too. You’re not just a college student; you’re a citi38. Try packing your lunch most of the time. You’ll likely zen of whichever location you’re studying in. Pay atteneat healthier if you’re not grabbing a quick meal of tion to local politics and culture; it’ll make you a better pizza and French fries. person and isn’t that what college is all about?

46. If you can, get a work-study job. You’ll be put to work by a department at your college or university or in some local office. On the job, you’ll learn about the service industry and you might just become a Xerox ex40. Read your campuses newspaper, or at least the pert, which is truly a valuable skill set. Plus, the hours are newspaper’s website. Knowing what’s going on around pretty flexible. campus may not benefit your grades but it will make you a better conversation partner and you might learn 47. Be friendly to all university administrators you deal something that affects you. with. They may be crabby in return but being sweet just might open some doors for you – speeding up a visit 41. Try documenting your experience. Whether you do to financial services or alerting you to new openings in it in blog format or in a physical journal, keep track of coveted work-study positions. the friends you make, the things you learn, the activities you participate in. Sure, maybe nobody will read it – 48. Give yourself “extra credit” projects. Read a book and perhaps you won’t want anyone to – but it will be a about a scholarly topic that interests you, sign up for fantastic keepsake once it’s all over. a computer training class, or talk to a professor about something in his or her expertise that isn’t covered in 42. Keep in touch with your family if you’re far away class. We know a professor interested in UFOlogy and from them, but avoid daily contact. Calling your Mom- we’re sure that’d be one interesting conversation. my every night because you’re homesick won’t solve the problem. Get out to on-campus events and try to make 49. Create traditions with friends. Create a Secret Sanfriends. ta before heading home for winter break or have an end-of-the-semester all-nighter with friends.

43. If you live with your family because home is close to campus, make friends who live on campus. Have 50. Remember that college is not the end of the world. sleepovers. Try to spend as much time away from home Kick as much butt as you can and at the end of the day, as possible. You’ll grow faster and stronger if you’re not be realistic. It’s hard to keep a 4.0 GPA, participate in being held back. student activities, work, intern, and have a social life.

Prioritize in a way that works for you and remember 44. If your campus is located within or near a city you’re that your experience is as unique as a snowflake falling not familiar with, go exploring! Visit historical sites, go from the sky. There’s none other like it. • 24

Photo by Michele Elaine Hannon.

39. That said, try eating at local restaurants, food huts and trucks once a week. Try something new every now and then.

Most Valuable | Breaking Glass

Breaking Glass

Photo by Michele Elaine Hannon.

Nichole Fray investigates the obstacles women face at work and how we might overcome them.

You go to college, graduate with your degree and then what? Many face this question post-graduation. Instead of feeling like you majored in your field, it can feel like you never declared a major. In making their next move, some choose to enter the career world in hopes of finding the dream job in their field, while others will take the graduate school route. This dilemma exists for more than a few college graduates, but it is one that is far greater for women.

The career world is tough to break into when you’re a woman living in a society that considers it to be a “man’s world.” Although societal expectations for women have changed in the sense that they’re no longer expected to just stay home to cook and clean, they’re not expected to become CEOS of multibillion dollar companies either. A “glass ceiling” exists in the workplace for women, hindering them from reaching goals that are part of their personal ambitions. In “The Glass Ceiling Hypothesis,” authors Janeen Baxter and Erik Wright describe the glass ceiling as this, “Taken literally, the metaphor of the ‘glass ceiling’ implies the existence of an impermeable barrier that blocks the vertical mobility of women: Below this barrier, women are able to get promoted; beyond this barrier, they are not.” For women with hopes of being more than a secretary or nurse, the glass ceiling gives them reason to fear they will have to cut their ambitions in half in order to succeed.

Beyond the existence of the glass ceiling, there are other issues women face and which contribute to their career world dilemma. The glass ceiling is the issue women face once they have chosen a career path, but what about the issues they face in making that choice?

Shannon Kelley, co-author of the book Undecided, believes that the range of options women now have in the career world – those which were not available for

women throughout history – contribute to the difficulty women face in deciding on a career path. Undecided highlights the “unprecedented opportunity and pressure” women are faced with in making this decision. She says, “Secretary, teacher and nurse were our options.”

Now that our options exceed that small pool, it’s hard to decide which way to go. In a piece from the International Museum of Women, which Kelley quotes in her book, it is said, “The wide variety of opportunities available to young women today is liberating for some, but for others in can be a source of confusion….”

Kelley doesn’t deny that a glass ceiling exists in the workforce, but a glass ceiling is not how she would put it. She says, “Workforce structures are set up as if it’s only for people who don’t have to take care of home.”

Yes, society’s expectations for women have beyond the limits of home, but that does not mean that the responsibilities of the home have disappeared. “If you intend to have a killer career with kids and a family, there will be many obstacles,” says Kelley.

So, what are the solutions to these issues? For one, glass can shatter and can be broken. Metaphorically speaking, women need not fear putting themselves out there and attempting to break through the glass ceiling in the workforce. Although there are more male CEOs than female CEOs, they do exist and they had to break the glass ceiling to get there. Don’t doubt your abilities and don’t second guess yourself because you are a woman; embrace it.

Still undecided in which career to choose? “[For] one thing, don’t be afraid of failure; it’s a teacher and it’s how we rule things out. Look at failure not as a permanent black mark on your soul, but as useful information,” Kelley says. So get out there, break ceilings and never let failure destroy your ambition. • 25

Most Entertaining Five Things to Know About Singer Joy Ike

1.

I am... hard to impress but easy to please.

3.

I have... a strange attraction to flowers, babies, lollipops, and farmers market.

4.

I love... Jesus.

5.

I will... try as hard as possible to be the best I can be at everything I do, because why do it halfway?

26

Joy Ike is a full-time musician who spends her time touring the tri-state area. With a sound influenced by her two favorite female artists, Sara Groves and Brooke Waggoner, Ike is making a name for herself. She was voted Pittsburgh City Paper’s “Best Solo Artist” for the third year in a row, landed a spot on the Lilith Fair Tour, and scored a write-up and radio spot on NPR’s (National Public Radio) All Things Considered. Currently based out of Pittsburgh, PA, Ike’s schedule includes an average of 130 dates a year, and her latest album, “Rumors,” was released in May 2010.

Photos courtesy of Joy Ike.

2.

I think... too much.

Most Entertaining | Books

Suggested Reading Jennifer Rainville’s Trance of Insignificance

Photos from JenniferRainville.com and Amazon.com.

Every now and then, a woman needs a good friend to smack her upside her head. Certainly, through much of Jennifer Rainville’s self-published novel Trance of Insignificance, readers will feel the urge to slap former TV reporter Jules Duvil around. She’s got everything she could want – a hot career in PR, a good husband – and yet she keeps getting tangled up in her ex-fiancé, the handsome TV news anchor Jack Culligan.

In fact, it isn’t really clear why she keeps coming back to him. He calls her “beautiful” and it makes the reader’s skin crawl; how could she be charmed by that most unimaginative of pet names? And how, Lord, how could she sleep with a married man? All the while, her girlfriends casually ask Jules questions about her extramarital affair. If ever a protagonist needed a good friend, it is Jules Duvil.

Later in the novel, Jules’ mother-in-law Tess tells her that she has something Noah, Jules’ husband, will never have: a sense of self. What does Tess think gives Jules this sense of self? Her tough childhood in Boston, Massachusetts. One can see how trying to get away from your past might lead you to getting wrapped right up in it again, as Jules does repeatedly with fellow Massachusetts native Jack.

Perhaps because of her questionable judgement, Jules comes off as incredibly real and her story is believeable. It is engaging and thought-provoking. How can we be so stupid when it comes to matters of love and lust? Why do we let our pasts best us, again and again? Can we break our bad habits and find happiness?

The novel would benefit from a good proofread and occasionally the broadcast journalism technical jargon is distracting, but Rainville’s debut novel provides a captivating tale of a love that her protagonist just can’t seem to let go.

- Rosella Eleanor LaFevre Irene Nemirovsky was 39 when Nazis killed her in Auschwitz, and somehow, her novels have survived. I previously read an English translation of her novel Fire in the Blood, an incredibly captivating soap opera-type novel. Just heard about All Our Worldly Goods, a story about a young couple that weds against their parents’ wishes, sparking a family feud, and I can’t wait to get my hands on it! Birds of Paradise is Diana Abu Jaber’s hotly anticipated second novel about a pastry chef named Avis who must deal with her teenage daughter’s disappearance while other things arise. Avis lives in Miami at the height of real-estate boom while Hurricane Katrina approaches. Yet another read to check out is Ellissa Schappell’s Blueprints for Building Better Girls, a collection of eight stories. - R.E.L. 27

Most Entertaining | Movies

Rosella Eleanor LaFevre wants to see these fall releases: Abduction, 50/50, Like Crazy, Tower Heist, Jack and Jill. How about you?

John Singleton, the guy who directed Four Brothers, which is still quite possibly one of our favorite Mark Wahlberg movies, created his newest film, Abduction, with the hopes of recreating Taylor Lautner into someone our brothers and boyfriends might like too. The actionpacked thriller, which also stars Lily Collins, Jason Isaacs, Alfred Molina, Sigourney Weaver and Maria Bello, is about Nathan’s (Lautner) quest for truth after he sees his baby picture on a missing person’s website. Whether or not the boys in your life enjoy it, I’m sure you’ll find Lautner’s exceptional physicality entertaining. (Sept. 23)

“So, you really think that the girls gonna go for me just ‘cause I have cancer?” asks Adam, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, in 50/50. “For the millionth time, YES!” replies Seth Rogen’s Kyle in the comedy written by the actor’s real-life best friend Will Reiser. When Reiser was 25, he was diagnosed with spinal cancer, and although Rogen attempted writing a script about his friend’s battle with cancer, we’re sure it’s benefited from Reiser’s first-person knowledge of it. I’m excited to see this film, aren’t you? (Sept. 30)

Opposites attract and long distance is hard.

These are the ideas behind Drake Doremus’ Like Crazy.

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So why do we care? How about the fact that it stars Anton Yelchin, the dramatic wunderkind of Alpha Dog and Star Trek fame, and London stage actress Felicia Day, and their on-screen chemistry has critics blown away?

That’s enough to make us want to preorder tickets. (Oct. 28)

Funny. Hilarious. Hysterical. Wait – where is my thesaurus? I can totally imagine needing more synonyms for the word funny to describe Tower Heist to those who haven’t yet seen it. True, I haven’t yet, but the Brett Ratner-directed film is sure to be highly entertaining with a double-whammy of comedians Ben Stiller and Edie Murphy. About a group of employees who want to rip-off and impossible-to-rip-off Bernie Madoff-type character, the film also stars Matthew Broderick, Casey Affleck, Tea Leoni and Gabourey Sidibe. (Nov. 4)

Adam Sandler plays himself and a woman in Dennis Dugan’s Jack and Jill. Excited yet? No? If not, I can’t imagine any other way to make you want to see this movie. Unless you’re a fan of Katie Holmes, who plays Jack’s wife, or Al Pacino. The film is about when Jack’s sister Jill comes to visit for Thanksgiving and doesn’t go home. Sounds good, doesn’t it? (Nov. 11) •

Movie Posters: 50/50 (Mandate Pictures), Abduction (Lionsgate), and Tower Heist (Universal Pictures/Relativity Media)

Suggested Viewing

Features

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Sunny Eyes Up

Old men love waking up with NBC 10’s Lori Wilson and if you could muster up enough energy at 5 a.m. to turn on your TV and keep your eyes open, so would you. By Rosella Eleanor LaFevre.

Lori Wilson has only been awake for eight hours and she’s yawning. But then Wilson got up around 2 a.m. “My first alarm goes off at two, and then I have one at two-ten. The very last possible alarm goes off at two-fifteen,” laughs Wilson, co-anchor of the 5 a.m. morning show on one of Philadelphia’s most-watched news stations.

Doe-eyed Wilson sits on a large comfortable couch in an edit booth in NBC 10’s Bala Cynwood headquarters at 10 a.m., willing to tell us all about her job in the fourth largest broadcasting market. Most days, her work is done by now and she’s headed home where, on days like today, she takes a nap.

So sometimes it’s hard to deal with getting up that early, but at least the drive is only seven minutes long. “The goal is always to be very close to the station, because it’s the middle of the night,” exclaims Wilson, who did morning shows at the last two stations she worked at.

Around three a.m., Wilson arrives at the station to prepare for the show. First she reads through the two hours of copy, which she splits down the middle with co-anchor Terry Ruggles, in a half-hour or 45 minutes. In addition to checking the copy for accuracy and up-to-date information, Wilson pays close attention to the wording. “There are times when I have to make changes just because of the way that I speak – sometimes something is written formally and I’m a little more conversational in my delivery,” Wilson says.

After reading through the copy, Wilson reads a few newspapers 30

Photographer: Michele Elaine Hannon.

Features | Cover Story – usually done online. “You never know when breaking news is going to happen and you’re going to have to give background about it, be able to vamp about it,” says the anchor.

By 4 a.m., the beautiful, petite TV personality must be in the makeup room where, in about 20 minutes, she does her own face. This isn’t something that came easily to Wilson, who had never before worked at a station with its own professional makeup artist on staff. NBC 10’s Carie Brescia taught her everything she knows. “I just sucked the life out of her,” Wilson says with a laugh. “I was like, ‘What am I supposed to do?’ She gave me lessons and hopefully it works!”

It sure does, most viewers would agree, getting a load of her mile-long eyelashes and blindingly white, perfect smile. The whole package is even more stunning in person. It’s no wonder that she got her start in commercials when she was in third grade.

A Columbas, Indiana native, Wilson starred in a commercial for Indiana Bell’s call waiting service, which was the latest innovation. “I’m generally a shy person by nature so the camera was easier,” Wilson says. “I could hide behind the camera; it was just me and the camera one-on-one, even if millions of people are watching so I fell in love with that aspect of it.”

The moment she realized how important television could be, she was watching Ronald Reagan make a State of the Union address. The whole entire country is

probably watching the same thing I’m watching right now, she thought. It was powerful, she says, realizing that “we could all be connected at one time and getting information.” TV, that’s the way to go, she thought.

Television is what gives her the opportunity, after all, to do what she loves, and that’s telling stories, inspiring people to act, and giving them the information they need in their daily lives, like “traffic, weather, what’s safe, what’s not, medical news,” she says.

The “idea that we’re all kind of in it together” is one that continues to move Wilson. “We all come in different packages but we’re exactly the same underneath so I think stories that connect us all really draw me in,” Wilson says. “If I can tell a story about an 89-year-old grandmother that you relate to, then I feel like that’s having purpose in your life.”

Since earning a B.A. in Journalism from Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana, Wilson has worked at four stations. Her first two stations were in smaller markets: Champaign, Illinois and Shreveport, Louisiana.

Her third station, and last stop before Philadelphia, was WGCL in Atlanta, Georgia.

At WGCL she worked as a morning anchor, weekend anchor, entertainment reporter and general assignment reporter until her boss decided not to renew her contract, which is “essentially being fired from your job.” To hear her tell it, she was the “victim of circumstance,” having had four bosses in three years, with the last deciding she was just “a little too sassy,” Wilson says. “And that’s fine. We just butted heads, so I left that job and then had the opportunity to look for another job.”

Wilson, who believes “everything was divinely ordered and led,” got a few offers closer to home but in the interest of moving toward a network job in, say, New York City or Washington, DC, came to NBC 10 in Philadelphia. It’s a “great city that’s close to everything and has so much to offer,” she says, voicing the love she has for where she’s at.

She says one of the deciding factors was The 10!

Show, the station’s morning talk show, which she hosted when she arrived here. Also, she loves her current boss, someone who “looks you in the eye, who tells you what’s happening,” she says. “It’s nice.”

That’s not all there is to love about her job, and despite the fact that she’s yawning today, that includes waking people up, she says. “I think there’s a way to do it. There’s a temperament, there’s an energy, there’s a seriousness and then there’s a little bit of light.”

>>Cont’d on p. 45

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Go For BOLD If eyes are the windows to the soul, then we’re all for boldly colored window treatments. Makeup artistry by Allison Hardin.

Photography by Michele Elaine Hannon.

This Summer I...

“Let’s take another cruise when Grammy turns a hundred,” suggested someone at our dinner table.

Through the roughly six-foot tall, round window behind my cousins, I could see the ocean rolling by.

It was close to the end of our nine-day cruise to four ports of call – Bermuda, St Martin, St Thomas and Puerto Rico – and none of us were ready to disembark the ship. There were nine of us on the cruise (Grammy, Aunt Cindy, Uncle Ed, Eddie, Meghann, Danny, Mom, my sister and me) and it was the first long period of time spent in close proximity to aunts, uncles and cousins.

Grammy treated us all to this experience of a lifetime – in fact, it was Lily’s and my first time outside of America.

While spending at most about eight hours in one of these ports was hardly any time at all, and I’m sure there were lots of things we missed, it was so electrifying to step foot onto foreign land.

In Bermuda, I dug my toes into pink sands and drank alcohol on a boat (in Bermuda, as with each other place we went, I was of legal drinking age). In St Martin we sat in a glass-bottom boat-submarine hybrid and watching a diver swim among the fish and the coral and shopped in the French capital, Marigot. In St Thomas, on my 20th birthday, I enjoyed a Senor Froggy mixed drink and got a little further sloshed on a pirate ship while the rest of my family snorkeled. While in our last port of call, Puerto Rico, a few of us toured the Bacardi Rum Distillery, learned about some classic cocktails, risked our lives against overly confident Puerto Rican drivers and hiked through old San Juan.

I sure hope we set sail again sooner than 40 years from now.

- Rosella Eleanor LaFevre 38

... Interned

I started at MetroKids in late May, working Thursdays from nine a.m. to five p.m. I wasn’t prepared for the long commute, luckily, the editor allowed me to have a flexible schedule that fit my college lifestyle better.

For the most part, my job consisted of making phone calls and doing other basic tasks. I started out by researching data for MetroKid’s publication of SpecialKids, a resource guide for families of children with special needs. I called schools and sent emails to administrators to make sure that all of the information in our database was correct. I then checked information on the rest of our listings, including medical offices, camps, and law services related to kids with special needs by doing research and calling companies.

But it wasn’t always just “busy work.” One of my favorite things to do was organize the information for our giveaways and then pick the winner at random. One day in the office I even worked on a short piece for the August issue about healthy foods being served at restaurant chains. This was probably the best day in the office; I felt like a real journalist. During my time out of the office I worked on a piece on CFL light bulbs and why they’re potentially dangerous, which will be published in the September issue.

I really enjoyed working in the office. It was nice to see how a real editorial department works.

Even though my internship had some slow points, it was definitely worth the experience and clips I gained, and I will definitely continue to try and find internships to fill the rest of my time while in college.

- Kristen Gillette

Photo by Rosella Eleanor LaFevre.

... Traveled

Photos by Bianca Crespo.

...Volunteered

Students cluster around the window, pushing the thick maroon curtains aside and inching their heads closer to the glass. The frantic commotion and traffic on Christian Street sounds muffled from the interior of Mighty Writers. I approach the tall wooden door beside the little congregation of creative minds and sneak a peek at the scene unfolding outside.

A young girl with luscious wavy hair and slender glasses is laying on the sidewalk. There is a woman kneeling beside her shaking figure. I realize that the girl is Chloe; one of the students participating in the Playwriting workshop that I teach twice a week. The woman comforting Chloe is her mother.

“She was hit,” says Tiaira, one of the students beside the window. “A car hit her. I saw the whole thing.”

I freeze and turn to see Rachel Loeper, the founder of Mighty Writers, walking towards us. After seeing the spectacle and realizing who is on the ground, she opens the door and bolts across the street.

An ambulance pulls into the empty spot next to Chloe and her mother. The medics rush to prop open the back doors and fetch a stretcher to lift Chloe’s fragile body into the vehicle.

Rachel leaves the small mob of neighbors and bystanders gathering beside the ambulance. The door of Mighty Writers opens and she enters, her expression calm and collected.

“She broke her leg, but she’s okay,” Rachel explains. “She’s talking and thinking. Her head’s fine.”

I exhale in relief.

That was Tuesday. On Thursday, the next meeting of the Playwriting workshop, a few of the students start to trickle in early, most thoroughly eager to get started.

There is a knock on the door.

I open it to find a mighty writer leaning on crutches: Chloe.

When I first began my work at Mighty Writers, a non-profit organization designated for the ever-learning young writers of Philadelphia, I didn’t know what to expect. What I found: extraordinary kids with an incredible passion to push their ambitions to magnificent heights.

I have been volunteering for this community of creative thinkers since March, tutoring for the bulk of my time spent “in the studio.” My entire experience has been nothing but rewarding.

These kids, these mighty writers, mighty thinkers, are what have made me believe in the imaginative spirit of young folk in the city again. They give me hope.

These raging, visionary spirits have taught me to never cease persistence in that which may seem unattainable.

They have inspired me to strive for what I love, despite unpredictable circumstances which arise in one’s life; whether it’s a broken pencil, a printer without ink, a failed interview, or a car crash. They have turned my vision of this city into something more, something better; a city of hope, a city of creativity, a city of Mighty Hearts.

- Bianca Crespo

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This page, model Amber Brown wears: own jewelry; photographer’s skirt; Hagnslag t-shirt ($15, available at Smak Parlour). Opposite page, model wears: own jewelry, t-shirt and jeans; stylist’s scarf; Baggu Duck Bag ($22); Dolce Vita Nariko Faux Snakeskin Loafers ($144, available at Vagabond Boutique).

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That’s So Raven This fall, keep things low-key with rock ‘n roll-ish clothes and accessories.

Photography by Bianca Crespo.

This page, Amber wears: Own jewelry, t-shirt and jeans. Stylist’s vest. Baggu Duck Bag ($22); Dolce Vita Nariko Faux Snakeskin Loafers ($144, available at Vagabond Boutique, 37 N. 3rd Street, Philadelphia). Opposite page, Amber wears: own jewelry, t-shirt and shorts with another Hagnslag shirt ($34) and the Dolce Vita Nariko Faux Snakeskin Loafers.

Stylist: Rosella Eleanor LaFevre

This page, Amber wears own jewelry and a Hagnslag top, available at Smak Parlour (2nd and Market Streets, Philadelphia) for $15.

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M.L.T.S. Magazine | Leftovers Continued from p. 20...

a man who needs direction, give him direction! Or let me him know what direction you want to go in. Try getting in a taxi and telling the driver “just go”. I’d like to know how that one works out.

Just for example’s sake, I’ll use the civil war. Ac In the end, whatever you are, male or female, be cording to that “secret”, Abe said to free the slaves. you. But don’t be afraid to understand and find out who Everybody else just said, “Hey Abe, we’ll go ahead and other people are. Even if you live in one world, visits to free the slaves, but we’ll fight you just to lose.” So as another can be a pretty nice vacation. • General Lee scourged the north, he said to the northern armies, “I’ve already decided that I’m going to beat Continued from p. 32... you, but ultimately not succeed” And the north generals just said, “No problem, Lee. You’ve got the “secret” so we’ll just kill our own troops while we wait this thing out.”

The truth is that nobody ever does anything One of Wilson’s favorite parts of the job is the great without difficulty. I’d say that nobody does any- off-air stuff she gets asked to do. When you’re on telething great because they felt like it at the time. If I had vision, “There’s a lot of stuff that you’re gonna be asked to guess what went through their minds, they felt like they to be a part of in the community,” Wilson says. “Going had to do it. Sure, some of them probably had natural and mentoring young girls, emceeing events that raise confidence. Confidence is great, because it allows you to money for fundraisers. Those are the things that matter be comfortable. Because if you’re not comfortable with to me and the only reason that I do it is because I have what you’re doing, the chances of success are slim, unless a platform. The only reason they care about having me you can manage being uncomfortable. come out is because I’m on TV. That’s an honor.”

Reeling this back, if you’re a man, or a woman - As with any career, of course, it can be very The reasons are different, but the result is the same. You challenging at times. “When you stop connecting to stocan cross any bridge you’d like IF you’re comfortable ries or stop being affected by things, then you probably with it. The truth is you can really do anything you put need to do something else with your life,” Wilson says. your mind to.

“Like whenever harm comes to a child, it’s hard to deal

For the men, you can be the man you want to be. with. Stories like that, when people come up missing or If you want to be a hit with the ladies, don’t be more dead, it’s hard because I always try to put myself in the uncomfortable than they are. That’s an automatic turn place of the families.” off. If you want to be good at a sport, go out and play Sometimes the challenging part of the job is it, and get comfortable with it. If you want to dance and keeping your lips zipped on controversial topics. “It’s you look like an idiot, feeling uncomfortable will make hard being objective in such a heated political climate,” people laugh at you, feeling comfortable will make Wilson says. And then there are times when it’s not what them laugh WITH you. Do the things you -need- to do. you say but how you say it that can cause trouble. “It’s If the time comes when you need to be a hero, then just all in your inflection when you’re a TV journalist,” Wilson get out there and be a hero. If you get called a loser says. and it hurts, then get out there and get comfortable with One of the things industry watchers have often winning. Open your world up. Realize how many possi- lamented is the shift away from hard-hitting news and bilities are actually out there before you choose just the toward entertainment. While it can be hard for some to one. accept that celebrities are making news daily or that

For the ladies, don’t sell yourselves short. You citizen journalists are making waves with YouTube viddon’t need to be perfect. In fact, trying to be perfect eos, Wilson looks at it this way: “Those things, based on drives us men crazy. Let us men do what we do, and help my definition of news, which is what people are talking us feel comfortable about it. Stop looking at yourself in about, those are things you have to include in the conthe mirror and picking on your flaws. How can we ap- versation.” preciate your body if we listen to you constantly pick on So will she be staying in Philadelphia, where her it? And remember that being classy is about how you co-anchor Tim Ruggles has been for 30 years? “I’d like carry yourself, and not how you perceive other people. to be on a national platform, but I am completely satisDon’t constrict yourself to being a follower. If you’re with fied and happy if Philly is my last stop,” she says. •

The Love Doctor

Lori Wilson

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M.L.T.S. Magazine | Contributors

Contributors ••• Bianca Golasa Crespo

was born and raised in Philadelphia, Penn. She spent her childhood in an old Kensington warehouse, where her extraordinary brain evolved into a wondrous world of catacombs, full of monsters beyond your wildest imagination. During her freshman year in college, Bianca studied abroad in London, England, where her love for photography began. She continues to use her skills as a extravagant artist with a thirst for eccentricity at Temple University and hopes that others find beauty in the strangest things.

•

•

•

••• Nichole Fray is a magazine journalist

and political science student at Temple University. She likes to think her opinion actually matters and wants the world to know her side of a story.

She’s a girl from a small town in Connecticut with big dreams of living the city lifestyle. She currently freelances for Temple’s chapter of the online publication HerCampus.com.

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••• Kristen Gillette is a magazine major at Temple

University, interested in pursuing a career as a music or movie writer. One day, she hopes to write for Entertainment Weekly or Rolling Stone Magazine. Her favorite thing to do is curl up with a good book, television show (especially “Gilmore Girls”) or movie and a cup of tea. Previously she has written for moodmag.org, sarahscoop.com, and philly2night.com as well as several music and entertainment blogs.

It takes a lot of effort from a lot of people to create this magazine, and those pictured here are just a handful. We want to hear what you think!

Send all comments to: mlts.magazine@gmail.com

Raphaela Studio An eccentric approach to art and photography.

www.raphaelastudio.com raphaelastudio@gmail.com